#ily 179

[youuuimeanmee]

Nolan Lochlainn claimed to be a bad guy. One of his reasons being, he pretended and lied to be a friend, and used his friends for his own absolution. That's why he doesn't see Yeong-Gi as himself, he only see it as a mask to conceal his true self. Exactly as Shinae said, he paraded around as this happy-go-lucky guy trying to help everyone while hiding behind a fake name. He sees Yeong-Gi as a phony.

Why am I bringing up this topic? Because it's heartbreaking to see him not impressed with what his friends came up about good things about him.

Not really a happy face there. It's because he thought the things he has done as Yeong-Gi at the beginning were a ruse. Those were not good things about "him," according to himself.

Despite that, how did he he managed to gain friends he can't help always coming back to? How did he managed to gain true friends who stay loyal to him, despite all the "lies" he laid out?

I might have a biased view,but the way I see it, it's because Yeong-Gi is not a phony. 15-year-old Nolan was just trying to be the best version of himself he wanted to become, in honor of his mum's wish. It's not a bad thing at all.

The good things his friends mentioned were all the things he did at the beginning, when he fully embraced his "Yeong-Gi mask." Nolan might've seen his "help" from that time as a ruse, but the result is impactful and very meaningful for the person who received it. Thanks to Yeong-Gi, Dieter has become less lonely and starts to feel like he belongs here, and Shinae starts to trust people again, becoming a better person in the process. Yeong-Gi healed them.

And God certainly knows he's been doing his best for... 4 years. From he's 15 until 19, which is today. Oh God not number 4 again being Nol's number, the symbol of death and rebirth.

It's okay Nolan, you've tried your best. It's okay to be tired. It's okay to be yourself and take a break. It's okay to let loose for once. As your mum said, the world can't punish you forever. As Shinae said, things will get better for you.

Which is why, tonight, God's gift for his good deeds is this one little "friend" who will go to the end of Earth to defend, protect, and heal you this time. And I'm sure Dieter and Soushi will follow her soon.

[youuuimeanmee]

AYOOO THIS IS THE SUMMARY OF WHAT HAPPENED IN MINHYUK'S PARTY LMAO

Nol is leaving because he thought he's a bad guy, he doesn't deserve his friends and they're better off without him. He's wearing his personal hoodie, indicating it's the real Nolan.

Shinae is looking at Kousuke, searching for the answer of why Nol is leaving them, and wondered when he'll be back. There's a drap of Yeong-Gi's jacket on Shinae's shoulder, meaning Nol left behind his Yeong-Gi persona and it's a mean to protect her. It could also mean that this time, Shinae will become the "new Yeong-Gi" -- it's her time to be the hero Nol needs in his life.

Kousuke just saw Nol leaving, didn't even try to stop him. It's like he's saying, "That's right, keep walking you fool. Just stop befriending everyone, be depressed for all I care. Stop being so bright, stop being a hindrance to get me to Father."

Minhyuk is chatting with Shinae because she's the only person he's familiar with. He also has his back turned on Nol, unaware of Nol's turmoil. (Other interpretation; he's trying to distract Shinae so she won't be too hung up on Nol -- based on his expression towards Nol throughout the night, he's convinced(?) Nol was not a good friend for Shinae, since he brought too much trouble).

Dieter and Soushi, unfortunately, also has their back turned against Nol, blissfully unaware of what Nol is really going through (like, Soushi barely appeared when Nol first fell off the second floor, and Dieter was busy betting his money with Minhyuk). I'm not sure about Soushi's future -- whether he'll stay friends with Nol or not, but since on this pic Dieter doesn't have his back completely turned, it should be easy for him to turn his head, see how Nol is faring, and try to get him back.

It’s driving me absolutely bonkers that no one on Tumblr is talking about thiss

((Please repost to make a chain of theories or whatnot))

[zermizomilk]

you [erased some that were weird tho] 3. do you miss anyone? 4. what are you looking forward to? 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? 7. what was your life like last year? 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? 9. who did you last see in person? 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? 11. are you listening to music right now? 12. what is something you want right now? 13. how do you feel right now? 15. personality description 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? 17. opinion on insecurities. 18. do you miss how things were a year ago 19. have you ever been to New York? 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? 21. age and birthday? 23. fear(s) 24. height 25. role model 26. idol(s) 27. things i hate 28. i’ll love you if… 29. favourite film(s) 30. favourite tv show(s) 31. 3 random facts 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? 33. something you want to learn 34. most embarrassing moment 35. favourite subject 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? 37. favourite actor/actress 38. favourite comedian(s) 39. favourite sport(s) 40. favourite memory 41. relationship status 42. favourite book(s) 43. favourite song ever 44. age you get mistaken for 45. how you found out about your idol 46. what my last text message says 49. where i want to be right now 50. favourite picture of your idol 51. starsign 52. something i’m talented at 53. 5 things that make me happy 54. something thats worrying me at the moment 55. tumblr friends 56. favourite food(s) 57. favourite animal(s) 58. description of my best friend 59. why i joined tumblr 60. do you have a funny joke [[i zoned out during the organization proccess so if there are any asks you're uncomfortable w, just ignore them]]

3 bird

4 end of the day

5 you

6 sometimes

7 alot more naive to to internet interaction

8 yes

9 technically my brother

10 yes

11 no

12 rather not say

13 annoyed and angry

15 idk

16 yes

17 it's ok to be insecure it's only human

18 id rather die then go back to how it was

19 nope

20 butchers vanity

21 age 14, bday 26 nov

23 spiders

24 idk where a tape measure is so im just gonna assume it's like 178-179 cm maybe

25 brother

26 idk

27 list is long and i don't feel like writing all that

28 elaborate

29 wonka i guess

30 i got nothing

31 mosquitoes are attached to potassium, if you dissolve styrofoam in nail polish cleaner you get napalm, in fallout 4 everyone likes artificial gorillas

32 all of you guys are nonbinary or trans so idk

33 drums

34 to many to count rather not think of them

35 like school? uhh biology i guess

36 i got nothing

37 nobody

38 nobody

39 dodgeball

40 found a bird outside my doot hurt and had a zip tie around it's leg so i helped it to the best of my ability

41 aromantic

42 im reading how to kill a mockingbird so i guess that

43 can't choose

44 10-17

45 n/a

46 Ily<3/p

49 same spot my home but alone

50 n/a

51 idk and im too lazy to look it up again

52 ¯⁠\[•-•]/⁠¯

53 uhhhh talking to you, being around animals, sleeping, talking to friends in general, playing games

55 uhh you,Large,Axel i don't think i interact with alot of my moots

56 eggs

57 bird, dog, cat

58 well unable? describe your self

59 deltarune

60 nothing at the moment

[f1-birb]

pando university au - instagram edition

landonorris

liked by charlesleclerc, misansoni and others

landonorris never would guess he had his arm stuck in a claw machine four hours ago ❤️

view 179 comments

georgerussell you are so wrong for this 💀

pierregasly baby 🥺 why 🥺

landonorris ily? 🥺❤️

pierregasly 🤏

alex_albon if it makes you feel better Pierre every time he looks at that shark he looks like a complete dork with heart eyes

pierregasly that does actually 🥹

Story via pierregasly

misansoni

liked by landonorris, lilymhe and others

misansoni current favourite picture of my George 💕

view 261 comments

alex_albon IS THAT MY HOODIE?

georgerussell no? 😅😅

alex_albon it literally has my initial on it 😐

charlesleclerc cuuuuute bro

landonorris you look so soft Georgie

alex_albon

liked by pierregasly, charlesleclerc and others

alex_albon Name a better duo. I'll wait.

view 135 comments

landonorris our queen, our saviour..... and Alex

georgerussell I thought what we had was special Alex, you gave me your hoodie

alex_albon YOU STOLE IT

lilymhe I love yooouuuuuu ❤️❤️❤️

georgerussell

liked by lilymhe, pierregasly and others

georgerussell 3 days of no sleep, missing his boyfriend something chronic and one cuddle with you is all that was needed. Just when I thought I couldn't love you any more, misansoni you are the best 💕

view 192 comments

pierregasly thank you so much Michael, seriously

misansoni no problem mate, enjoy being back in France and the time with your fam

alex_albon we'll hold down the fort for you

landonorris well this is embarrassing... 🥲

georgerussell it's not, it's cute Lanno ❤️

[yinorii]

oh god, now that i have a tumblr where i can speak(tm) i have to say the chongyue banner did me so dirty. i was practically crying and sobbing the entire time, but here were some noteworthy moments:

stared, for like two minutes. one for each not chongyue six. REED ILY,, BUT LIKE,, i was going to pull for you on rerun,, honey why are you here noW SOB,

me, coping that i'll get chongyue when i see the double six. me, on the floor crying when neither are chongyue.

i genuinely saw the gold bag and was like, if it's not chongyue or ling, i don't want it. it was ling. i ate my words.

but yeah, he came home after like, 170 pulls.

tl;dr:

one mountain, one ceobe, one ling, one reed alter, one penance, two lins, one chongyue. 179 pulls

i think i won, but it definitely feels like i lost. and now i'm poor. saying goodbye to any hopes of yato alter. everytime i pull on the sui sibling banner, i get cucked in five different directions. two off banners on lings banner. and now this. god do i want to skip next years

executor alter, please PLEASE be kind sir

[kaenanmatsuura]

I posted 13,332 times in 2022

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I tagged 2,897 of my posts in 2022

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#i know we don't talk too much or know too much about each others personal lives but you're one of my besties non the less ily crystal 💜

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Diagnose me

I diagnose you with bitch

3 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

A moment of silence for all the beloved toys that got lost during moves 😔🙏🏻

5 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

#3

gotta love finally taking the initiative to plan and watch one of your hyper-fixation movies with your friends and no one shows up even though a bunch of ppl said they'd be there :)

6 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#2

"I like Sakura but-" stop talking. I don't care. I've heard it all and she's still my #1 favorite anime character and has been since 2018.

9 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Would call you a slur

Would kick her ass and take you shopping

22 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[trashlie]

ILY FP 180

Me to me: Ashlie you have a post IN WORK right now that you have been mulling over for the last two weeks it’s NEARLY COMPLETE maybe you should finish that up because you have 3 others swimming in your brain?

Also me: I HAVE GOT TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID ABOUT 180 WHILE IT’S HOT AND FRESH WHO’S READY TO TALK ABOUT PARALLELS AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 

Alas, I am nothing but predictable and very true to myself, so my current post will have to take the backburner so I can yell into the night about this recent FP episode. Because LISTEN, I have FEELINGS! And I know you guys do, too! Parallels? OH WE GOT IT. Character development? IT’S THERE. Whether or not you ship Nol and Shinae, it’s a REALLY good one. And that’s it for my teaser, I’m trying so hard not to spoil anyone hahaha. 

I’ve had nearly 24 hours to mull over this one, so if this post comes out longer than usual (and frankly, who is keeping track anymore) I can’t even apologize, but I WILL do my best to try to be at least coherent. 

Compared to the almost palpable relief, the giddiness of things acknowledged leading to it, episode 180 is intense, with tension bubbling right to the surface. On a superficial level, it even seems almost scary - this version of Nol we have only come to know in secret, hidden away from his friends - with how different Nol is compared to Yeonggi. But something we must always remember is that context is important and that’s going to be a big theme of this overview for me. Context and perspective. 

I get the feeling that Shinae definitely did not expect Nol to stick around, even though it’s what she wanted. When she made that point to “talk to Minhyuk” about Nol, it was with the hopes that he would overhear and come follow, but I think at the same time, it was the only way for her to attain closure. Though she wanted him to come, I think she also expected him to run away again and didn’t really consider what it would be like to face him - face to face, not calling down from the balcony - after saying such exposing, vulnerable things. 

Like I noted in a previous post, Nol choosing to join Shinae on the balcony (and by literally climbing up there no less) is a pointed decision on his behalf. He’s given the opportunity to run and instead he decides that no, he is not going to run. Tonight, he is going to face Shinae. And he does. And I think it’s important to note this because it frames their entire interaction in this episode. 

Taken aback by Nol’s unexpected choice, Shinae finds herself embarrassed, I think. She probably feels exposed for the things she said - she literally sang praises about him lol but it’s easier to say those things when he’s not there to react, right? Saying things to his back when she doesn’t have to FACE him. But now she has to - they sit beside each other with the weight of all their reveals and confessions hanging between them. Shinae’s confession of caring, of him being a dear friend, Nol’s confession that she is special she is important, his decision to return instead of run away. It’s so MUCH for two people who guard their hearts so much, who struggle to be open and reveal what is in their hearts.

I think Shinae also carries some unaddressed anger - anger that he lied, that he DID walk away, that he was never going to tell her these things, anger that she cares and thought he didn’t. There’s a lot of warring emotions going on, for both of them, I think.

In her embarrassment she retreats into her shell, falls back on old habits of shutting down and putting up her guard. I love the absolute irony of it - that she lured him to come back, and when he did, she balks at it. She didn’t plan this far ahead, she didn’t think she’d get this far! 

And that’s the thing. Nol knows this about Shinae, both because he can read her like a book and also because they are SO alike. They’re both so stubborn and terrible at expressing their feelings, especially the kinds that leave them so exposed and vulnerable. I think he, too, is teeming with the things revealed, the things exposed. That he never realized how much Shinae cared almost makes me laugh, considering the entire interaction in the rain, but knowing the way Nol views himself, I see why it’s still something for him to take in, especially in light of what she overheard.

I’m going to take a moment to really highlight this, even though I don’t think we need it. Nol hasn’t had many genuine relationships in his life. Dieter, Soushi, and Shinae are, probably, the only real friendships he’s had. We’ve seen time and time again the way Nol reacts in shock to the things Shinae notices about him, the details she picks up on, and her stubborn, unrelenting care about him. It’s so foreign to him, both something wanted and something dangerous. To let himself care about someone is to endanger them and weaken himself. And yet, here he sits with a friend he’s struggled to keep away from - who literally only was able to keep his distance by presenting himself as a monster and revealing his betrayals/lies and even THAT barely worked. Likewise, Shinae’s closest friend is Minhyuk, and we know that while their love is deep and honest, it’s a bond like family, something organic that bloomed out of Minhyuk’s protective nature and their shared interest. This, though?�� Uncharted territory. Their friendship is so shortlived at this point and moreover, they don’t really KNOW much about each other? Everything about the importance of their friendship is so emotionally connected and charged. They are important to each other for what they’ve gone through and things they DO know they share in common and how they gravitate towards each other for that. Shinae knows (or at least, believes) innately that Nol has a good heart, that his deeds came from a good place. It’s the same way Nol knew that Shinae needed someone to pull her out of her shell. To cajole her. 

And again she needs it. 

Nol has made the decision to do as she goaded him into doing. He didn’t run away. He’s facing her. But now that he is, SHE is the one running away, closing herself off and then literally trying to get up and leave. She made this big fuss about what he means to her and wanting to see him again, but once he’s there, her walls are up and lol she’s just bluffing her way through. “I don’t need you here anymore.” “I’ve always enjoyed the quiet.” “I’m out of here.” 

Through their conversation, Nol doesn’t look at her. He looks away from her but she’s the one who keeps looking at him, falling into his traps. He plays her like a fiddle - once upon a time, Shinae really DID want to get away and avoided him but now? Now she’s not. He calls her out on her bluff and she’s ready to escape except he grabs her wrist, pulls himself up. 

Ordinarily, I don’t like when a guy grabs a girl’s wrist, because often it’s either possessive or denies her agency. But in this case, I don’t think it’s either of those, though it does lean into the agency thing. But I’ll get to that. Something I didn’t realize at the time of reading until someone else brought it up was the way this parallels episode 11 when they met at the bakery following the party where Nol was drugged. It’s a STRAIGHT UP PARALELL. Nol grabs her wrist to stop her from running, says “Yeah, right. You can’t fool me.” He holds her hostage even as she DOES in fact, scream. The whole time, she’s trying to get away from him, fully intends on running away. In that scene, Nol (as Yeonggi) does, indeed, deny her her agency, roots her in place.

But here I think it’s more like... he’s done what she wanted. He returned, he decided not to run away. But if she does, what does it resolve? Especially with him on the eve of being locked away, there’s no other opportunity for them to clear the air. Though she said she got what she wanted - closure - it’s not what they mutually want. Even the way she tells him that with this closure she’ll be able to move on... probably. She’s not even certain of it. Because deep down she, too, wants to reconcile but she’s just not good at navigating this. It’s one thing to say those things to a retreating figure, another to actually discuss it, together, face to face. But if not now, then when? She’s so good at running away!

The parallels man! THE PARALLELS

“Hey let me go!” “If I do you’ll just run away again.”  / “Let me go!” “If I do, are you going to run away again?”

Unlike the first time, I think Nol knows Shinae doesn’t really WANT to run away - it’s a reflexive habit of hers, it’s an act of self-preservation. He doesn’t maintain his grip to control her, but because he knows that if he DOES let her walk away, if he does nothing, then nothing changes, then this all stays the same, then he goes away for four months and nothing is truly resolved. 

In that same regard, we have ANOTHER parallel. In episode 103, Shinae confronts Maya about the cake she made - clearly with the intent to apologize to her - and the undelivered apology. She pushes and pushes and pushes until finally Maya breaks and admits that yes, she made the cake for Shinae, that yes she felt bad. And that’s what Nol is doing, too. Much like with Shinae and Maya where they NEEDED to have that conversation, they NEEDED to address it and each other, Nol is pushing a conversation that has to happen now. The contrarianism of Shinae saying all those things to lure Nol out only to balk and try to run - he wants her to be honest with him, because he’s trying to be honest, too. I looooooove how she uses that line lol that the world doesn’t revolve around you because he’s caught her in her bluff lmao 

“Let me go or I’m going to scream.” “Then do it.”

In episode 11, she did just that. In episode 11, she actually wanted to get away, she was actively trying to avoid him. Bu she isn’t here. And Nol knows it. He dares her to scream not because he wants to scare her or make her feel threatened, but because he knows she won’t do it.

Like earlier, this entire conversation takes place without Nol once glancing at Shinae. Until he dares her to scream. 

Only when he tells her to scream does he look over at her and they make eye contact - really intense eye contact, where he holds her gaze unyielding, calling her on her bluff and challenging her to be honest. If she screamed, I’m sure he’d let go. Nol’s grip isn’t with the intention of denying her any agency. If she truly wanted to escape he’d let her, but he knows better, and so does she, because she doesn’t scream, and it’s not because his gaze is so intense and intimidating that she gets flustered. 

“You don’t have to look at me that intensely... geeze. It’s making me feel weird...” 

Something of note is that this is Shinae’s first real interaction with Nol - not Yeonggi, but Nol. While yes I think it’s safe to say that her encounter with him outside of his school was her first brush with Nol, it was such an emotionally charged, desperate, messy situation wherein he himself waffled with his own feelings of concern, apology, and need to exit their lives. This is a totally different thing - a version of her friend who isn’t propping up their conversation on jokes and blanketing things he doesn’t want to discuss. In this moment, everything is on the table. Nol is challenging her to be honest with him, to face him the way he’s facing her, to stop running away like he has. 

And she folds, spectacularly. 

Shinae’s weak resolve crumbles and her honesty finally comes spilling out (though, notably, she looks away from him when it does; I told you guys I’m on to something with truths spoken when not face to face lol) revealing to Nol why she wound up letting him in. And as she does, another spot of vulnerability reveals itself: her scar. 

This is SUCH a good moment for them! I love it to DEATH! Nol has revealed that he feels like the universe is punishing him - that bad things happen to him no matter what he does, even if he tries to fight back, he feels like there is no end to it. And because of it, he has internalized that he’s bad, because the only people who need to be punished are bad people. The use of punishment is so very key, because even though we already know Nol thinks of himself as the bad guy, it’s a mindset that he’s internalized from his inability to escape the terrible things.

But Shinae throws it back at him, because he isn’t the only one plagued by a trail of unjust scenarios. He’s not the only one who fought back and got screwed over. He’s not the only one who has been unable to untangle himself from a series of bad luck no matter how hard he tries. But unlike Nol, Shinae doesn’t think it means she’s a bad person (anymore) or that she deserves what happens.

“Sometimes people are just born into bad luck and you just need to accept it. But all that... doesn’t mean you’re bad.” 

Shinae knows (or at least believes) that Nol is not a bad person. That he is someone who couldn’t help but come to care for the people he was aiding in a quest for his own absolution. That he’s a person who saw a girl who had locked herself away and convinced her to open up, to give people a chance, that he gave her the push she needed. She knows that Nol has, at every opportunity, done his best to help her. And even if his intentions are selfish, it doesn’t entirely negate the goodness of it. 

Nol is complex, like all of our characters: selfish, good, and bad. But the experiences Shinae has shared with him have revealed that though Yeonggi was not entirely real, Nol still isn’t the monster he thinks. And she knows it, because she’s lived the same life as him. Abused simply for who she is, where she comes from, the family into which she was born. Looked down on for things she cannot control. She has been viewed as violent for reaching a snapping point (and given how closely their lives mirror each other I am STILL inclined to think that Nol’s altercation with Kousuke was also him driven to a snapping point). 

I think he’s seeing this, too. Nol has been given a lot of clues about Shinae’s life, without her ever coming out and confessing to any of it. He saw the eviction notices at her apartment, knows that she’s been going through financial troubles, he knows that her dad is her only relative and that her mom is out of the picture and her only grandparents died before she was born, that her sister is LITERALLY stalking her. Shinae’s trauma goes deeper than Nol had first thought, and with that knowledge coupled with her reveals that she, too, has been dogged by shitty circumstances, I think he’ll be able to see more of himself in her and hopefully see her as someone he can open up to, when he’s ready. More than that, I hope that Shinae’s reveal will help him to reframe his own traumas, because if Shinae is not a person who needs to be punished by the universe, doesn’t that mean the same for him? MIRRORS, man. MIRRORS. It is time for him to see himself in Shinae, and maybe even learn to forgive himself. 

And they CONTINUE to mirror each other right to the very end, when Nol reaches out to touch Shinae’s scar. Isn’t it funny, how in the rain she allowed hm to brush away her tear, cupping her face but because this is her scar, her most vulnerable of vulnerabilities, her most secret of traumas, she reacts IMMEDIATELY - just like when she dared to call Nol by his real name. Unlike Nol’s, Shinae’s scars are physical, but just like Nol, she does not freely give people a pass to know them. She’s always very conscious to keep her scar hidden. Nol has been able to see through the flimsiest of Shinae’s masks, but the one thing she keeps heavily under lock and key is her scar, the physical manifestation of her worst betrayal, the worst time she was burned. 

The irony of Nol knowing that he reacted so strongly to Shinae using his name and still touching her scar does not miss me lol. Does he not consider how personal it is? Is it because he knows how personal it is? His reaction when she swats away his hand is not surprised - in fact, he looks wholly unaffected, kind of like he expected it to happen? Or maybe it’s just enough surprise? Idk. I mean, clearly he broached something very private and personal, but from a narrative standpoint, I kind of love that moment, because now they’ve both bared something very vulnerable to each other. Each are now aware of these little exposed pieces of anguish and pain. 

And the way he questions it! “Was this punishment?” Using that term, still. Punishment, for a thing she never did. Punishment. For trusting the wrong person? For being hopeful? Referring to it as punishment feels like such a shared experience. In fact, by referring to it as punishment, I think it negates the flippance of “accident”. An accident implies something faultless, a thing that occurred that the other party didn’t mean - and I still don’t think Alyssa meant Shinae harm or expected her to fall and get injured but it still had grave consequences. Shinae could have died! She could have suffered some kind of brain damage. It’s a physical scar she carries of the time she tried to be someone’s friend and was badly burned. It wasn’t an accident, but a punishment for hoping for something she wouldn’t get. 

Idk I just. I love that? Just like Nol is going to jail for a crime he didn’t commit, a punishment for his existence, for daring to think that he could have friends, that maybe things could change, that there was a chance for things to go well. In neither case did either of them actually do anything wrong, but they both carry the heavy burden for it regardless. 

When Nol remarks that he never knew she even had a scar there, it’s the second time in that period that he’s noted something he didn’t know about her. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me.” There’s so much that Nol and Shinae don’t yet know about each other, and despite that, they are still SO drawn to each other, bonded by their shared experiences and an emotional connection. And idk I love THAT, too? Because so much of their friendship until now has been a mess - one pretending, one trying to shake him, chasing each other back and forth. FINALLY they are facing each other square on and FINALLY they are going to face each other as equals, get to know each other as equals. Nol, acknowledging that he’s no longer pretending, will hopefully open up more, share more, as she does the same. And though addressing her scar is definitely an invasion of privacy, it’s the beginning of just that - sharing and revealing and getting to know each other. The bond they’ve already forged is clearly really hard to break, so it’s only natural that the getting to know will follow, because the important part is established. That connection, that importance, the level of care. Nol isn’t calling out the scar to be insensitive - he’s already revealed that he cares about her, that she’s important, so seeing something like that probably is appealing to that part of him - to the part of him who can never help getting involved in her problems, who knows she can take care of herself but “that won’t stop me from caring”. He WANTS to know, to share, though I’m not sure she’s ready (or at least not ready to reveal the WHOLE thing). 

There is so much yet for Nol and Shinae to learn about each other, but first they have to resolve their current issues so they can start over in a better way. On equal footing. 

Before I close this rambling mess off, there’s something else I’d like to touch on - at the very end, Shinae says “Nobody is allowed to touch that”. Now, prior, she also emphasizes don’t you ever do that again, but we’ve also seen instances in the past where nobody is used to allude to Nol. “Nobody... it’s nobody Kousuke.” And we know that Kousuke is the one who reduced the affectionate nickname Nol’s mom gifted him to null, to nothing. It feels like this might be one of those little tricks of quim’s “we know you’re the true heir”, “it’s nobody Kousuke”, those little moments where something is laden with another meaning, a bit of foreshadowing. 

Don’t get me wrong lol I know that’s completely conjecture and I’m not saying that for sure it’s alluding to anything, but I do think this episode is really laying some groundwork for potentials. I’m always stressing how much of the story so far feels like a foundation set for Nol and Shinae, fostering an environment where it’s possible for them to grow into people who could become lovers. I’m not saying that that’s exactly what this is - at the very least we know it’s setting the stage for an enduring friendship. I can’t help but be curious to see how Nol and Alyssa will interact following this, given that their last interaction was that argument about Kousuke and where Nol would rather be. Does he count Alyssa amongst the friendships that became real? He never did mention her, and he didn’t know Shinae was listening in, so he has no reason to leave her out. I guess there’s also the whole possibility that he knew his friendship with Alyssa wasn’t pretending at some point - and yet his relationship with her is? Idk I want more insight to that!

But again, it just brings me back to the foundation that’s been laid out for Nol and Shinae. At this point, they truly are the two characters with the closest bond - prior we believed it to be true but now it’s actually real, they are taking those steps and starting anew. There’s a lot of tension, but I think that’s largely because of her defensiveness and the things they need to discuss yet, and I’m hoping they have the opportunity TO do that. The way the episode ended feels PRIMED for someone (Minhyuk, or possibly Dieter) to interrupt - compromising position, looking like they’re fighting/being antagonistic? Imagine Minhyuk coming to check on Shinae and see what’s taking her so long and find her with Nol, like that. GOD. It would be one way to break the tension for sure... but it would also put an end to that conversation and I’m really hoping that they get to finish. Quimchee rarely does what I expect, so I hope that if the cliche choice is to interrupt them and leave this conversation unfinished, we’ll be blessed and that WON’T happen. Because we all know Minhyuk would not respond well to that. And god we don’t even want to get into Dieter walking in to that, gah! 

I think the more unexpected thing is for Shinae to drop her guard a little and for them to recover from that tension themselves, to resolve the lingering issues before Nol goes away. Someone on reddit said something along the lines of if this moment is interrupted, it will be like a sneeze that doesn’t come to pass and I agree. 

[evilneo]

scp 179 is transgender by the way <3

[dellinah]

Uh so I finally realized I have to actually draw if I wanna get better at it (still salty about that why tf aren’t I naturally good at it im offended) so I got my tablet out of the closet and did a doodle after 84 years

This is probably the least flattering and least accurate depiction of @detectiveashcroft‘s fursona ever buuut yeah that’s who it’s supposed to be i think. it can always be ignored if its too bad oop

but yeah uh hi odin i did a dood of your floof. sorry it’s bad and probably not all that accurate buut its a woof with detective clothes and thats the core of it right?? right. i wasnt sure if you have floppy or erect (ha) ears so there you have both (ha unintentional bi joke). im lazy sue me

anyway uh i met you in here and like i consider you a good friend and you’re always fun to talk to and you like and ship a bunch of the stuff i do and youre a furry too and i like the stuff you write and youre creative and fun and yeah. im really bad with words and bad at talking to people but uh long story short youre a fun guy and i like you and it’s always a pleasure to reblog your stuff and talk to you so have this. as bad as it is i think it counts right

yeah. idk what i was going for and this was the 4th or so attempt but there. is a you. a odin. is a good friendly floof

[lilhappylilsad]

I posted 6,679 times in 2021

781 posts created (12%)

5898 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.6 posts.

I added 352 tags in 2021

#ask - 133 posts

#hehe - 29 posts

#pjo - 27 posts

#ask game - 27 posts

#ul - 26 posts

#mutuals love - 26 posts

#catto - 25 posts

#percy jackson - 24 posts

#mood - 18 posts

#nico talks - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 101 characters

#wow there are these people and then there is me who cant even draw a straight line with the line tool

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

*points the finger gun at ya

Time to die from fondness

See the full post

127 notes • Posted 2021-07-03 02:39:50 GMT

#4

Basic intro

Vart, V, Arty, Chipmunk, munchkin( by ul) and whatever you want to call me (give me a new nickname)

Pronouns: he/him

Birthday: 9th November

Scorpio

Slytherin

Nyctophile

Bibliophile

INFP-T

Desi as hell

Righty

Fav colour: anything resembling dark blue or black

In love with music, books (fav are the song of achilles and the opposite of us), writing, guitar, animals, coffee, winter, anime (Erased is my fav), shows (the witcher, got, stranger things, 13 reasons why etc.) and exploring new things...

New recs are always welcome

Certified friend therapist/killer with a lot of mental issues

Side writing blog

My spotify

Blog Description

Chaotic as hell

Combination of various topics and things like dark academia, poetry, literature, hp, mcu, pjo, moodboards, shitposts etc.

My mutuals

My parabatai: @chaos-is-my-king (you respect this person or else)

My best friend: @liestookmyvibes ( ily ul)

My child: @desiblr-older-sister (uwu)

My sister: @secret-eden

My gang🤩: @liestookmyvibes @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @floralbeast @queenadiforever @cinnamon-girl-academia @ruins-of-heart @filmflam-and-nonsense @marvelandnothingelse @notsofabulouslife07 @coldbitchx29 @suditi-says-chai-is-trash @sarcasm-caffeine-and-chaos @crazyas-hell @burningqueentimemachine @wordsaremydiary @yourbelovedannoyance @steamedmomos @starviki @mishti-doi @ambivertedfrog @iespeciallyme @church-of-burnt-romances @cheeseburstthoughts @ahaha-kill-me @obnoxious-penguin @mais-e @mydogisgaytoo @fatpotatosaysmoo @shutupsanskritii @wolfstarrysky @thatrandomfangirlll @wonderingprocrastinator @woolf-and-other-muses @khalicooker @sizzlingdazebear @a-poetic-lassie @akratiisalive @jellyfishwaters @whinysstuff @agar-bati @ayushing @crazy-beautiful @delicantly @rebelliousrochelle @samalaingik ( if you send hate anon or disturb any of them, I'll fucking kill you in a civil manner)

p.s. why do you all have so long urls lol

p.p.s if you didn't want to be tagged ,sorry not sorry

Peace out bitchoes!!!

179 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 22:43:20 GMT

#3

*smacks you on the head*

Oii!! Love the new theme demon!

*you cant smack me coz you're smol*

Thanks<33

207 notes • Posted 2021-07-24 14:48:36 GMT

#2

Them: what did you do all

Me:

211 notes • Posted 2021-09-06 05:11:14 GMT

#1

So listen up bitches (affectionate)!!!

My chomu friend (@crazyas-hell ) is seriously in need of a gf. Please go out with this chomu. His name is Suresh!!

Dil ka acha hai bs ladkiya bhaav nhi deti🤷‍♂️. Ab ye hum log ka mission hai ki ek dost ki help kre..

So the basic introduction of this chomu

Sorry sorry just kidding.

Ye iska biodata

Aur jin logo ko lag rha hai ki ye impossible hai unke liye

See the full post

259 notes • Posted 2021-07-13 18:27:20 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[youuuimeanmee]

Me at 2 AM: the whole snowflake sequence in ep 151 literally represents Nol's mental state after the first time he spent with Shinae in less than 24 hours.

Me later: Nol chose to attend Alyssa's christmas party instead of Min-Hyuk's because he might've spend a week mulling over Shinae's words from ep 151, and came to a conclusion that no amount of good deeds will ever be enough to save him, and he needs to get over his friends because he's undeserving of their love after deceiving and hurting them; that Shinae might be the catalyst of Nol's drastic change.

Me further on: Shinae pranked Nol -- that he's been in a coma for months -- without knowing she might've triggered Nol's trauma during the 2 years he spent in Hirahara Mental Facility.

OUR SHIN-AE BE THROWIN FATAL PERSONAL ATTACKS ONE AFTER ANOTHER

[berryunho]

Me to HJ and SH the whole time: OOoooUuUu YoU wAnnA Get F*cKed uP yOu wAnnA GeT-

‼️‼️SPOILER WARNING‼️‼️

But on a serious note, yesterday while I was re-reading I noticed an inch resting detail (pls keep in mind that idk if anyone else has pointed this out yet TT)

BUT!!!

‼️⚠️‼️SPOILER WARNING LAST CHANCE ‼️⚠️‼️

In interim 17.5 after HJ and SH “make up”, It says:

“Hongjoong could almost scoff. Cuddling. Another weird relationship thing that he could not understand. What’s the point? Wouldn’t a real couple just have makeup sex in this situation? But he presses a chaste kiss to Seonghwa’s chest and scootches back up his body anyways. One thing Hongjoong does understand is compromise. Though he’s not a big fan of it.” (berryunho, interim 17.5, paragraph 56)

BUT THEN IN CHAPTER 18 THIS MF IS LIKE

““Can I,” he leans into your touch, “can I hold you?”… You shake your head to yourself as you turn your back to Hongjoong to lay down. He quickly wraps an arm around your waist, pulling your back flush against his chest. His breath tickles your neck as he wiggles his face closer to you.” (berryunho, chapter 18, paragraph 173-179?)

HUH???? E X C U S E M E????? 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

Idk if it’s an insane manipulation power move on his part or if he genuinely meant it be of his “obsession” with y/n but like I thought it was smth important to look into and I. NEED. ANSWERS!!!!

- Love, 🍓 anon??? 🫣

hehehe seonghwa and hongjoong rlly are asking for it like if our mc snaps then what ?????? huuuuuhhh??? but hehe!! you are quite observant dear 🍓 anon :] i can neither confirm nor deny hongjoong's motivations for anything bc im mysterious like that but i am very glad that you've seen the differences ehehehe <3 very very very excited to have you and SO sorry this response is late af KDJFSLDKFJ ily smooch <3 <3 <3

[honeypirate]

I posted 16,587 times in 2021 lololololoo

4809 posts created (29%)

11778 posts reblogged (71%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.4 posts.

I added 936 tags in 2021

#my tendou <3 - 179 posts 🖤

#mutuals <3 - 117 posts💜

#honey’s live - 94 posts💖

#anon <3 - 86 posts💜

#tendou <3 - 84 posts❤️

#bleach first watch - 80 posts🧡

#haikyuu - 79 posts🧡

#mutual <3 - 77 posts💜

#ask games! - 73 posts💚

#asahi anon <3 - 67 posts💙

my tendou is the best part of this year on god

My Top Post in 2021

#1

How do you feel about kissing?

Asking your best friend (Noya, Asahi, Ushijima, Tendou, Kuroo, Bokuto) how they feel about kissing

See the full post

514 NOTES OMG I could cry 😭 ily all so much

514 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 04:08:11 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[frank-iero-is-afraid-of-spiders]

I posted 260 times in 2021

81 posts created (31%)

179 posts reblogged (69%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.2 posts.

I added 494 tags in 2021

#my chemical romance - 106 posts

#mcr - 92 posts

#my chem - 85 posts

#gerard way - 59 posts

#frank iero - 56 posts

#mikey way - 36 posts

#ray toro - 35 posts

#the black parade - 12 posts

#three cheers for sweet revenge - 7 posts

#danger days - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 90 characters

#it looks like frank is an overlay or something but then you realize he’s in the foreground

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

ray’s backing vocals are 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 underrated

25 notes • Posted 2021-05-20 03:21:52 GMT

#4

ily 🥰

47 notes • Posted 2021-08-15 17:02:46 GMT

#3

FRANK- YOUR- YOUR HAIR

80 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 00:11:43 GMT

#2

265 notes • Posted 2021-11-28 04:42:08 GMT

#1

found this on instagram and needed to share.

(not mine, credit to @hey_hey_its_gerard_way_way)

392 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 00:46:31 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[pinkyshy101]

I posted 29,043 times in 2021

143 posts created (0%)

28900 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 202.1 posts.

I added 4,787 tags in 2021

#toh - 1296 posts

#toh spoilers - 1238 posts

#amphibia spoilers - 822 posts

#amphibia - 789 posts

#true colors spoilers - 179 posts

#true colors - 150 posts

#tc spoilers - 87 posts

#nightmare time - 81 posts

#toh s2 - 79 posts

#toh s2 spoilers - 66 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#oh also i remembered about my dad he likes pentatonix? but they werent a thing when i was real little and not like hes gone anywhere he just

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Ok so like please tell me I'm not the only one who recognized Vee's voice as Amethyst (su)... Michaela Dietz ily

69 notes • Posted 2021-08-14 05:23:25 GMT

#4

MARCY THEME SONG TAKEOVER CONFIRMED GUYS

495 notes • Posted 2021-07-24 20:56:12 GMT

#3

Luz they can't hear you they got their airpods in-

1056 notes • Posted 2021-08-07 05:25:00 GMT

#2

See the full post

1465 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 02:29:18 GMT

#1

Incredible

4898 notes • Posted 2021-05-21 23:25:03 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →