#ill learn it better as i go :3
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greetingsfromuranus · 1 year ago
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OFFICIAL ed edd n eddy sona he's so swag
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deoidesign · 1 month ago
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months ago
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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postmail · 25 days ago
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this was supposed to be a sketch of what ishmael might look like if he grew his hair out post-canon and i blacked out and woke up to this on my computer. help where have the past two hours of my life gone
no tattoos yet because he's fresh off the sea and in nantucket again for the first time since the pequod. i don't think he's happy to be back guys
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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Hey, you remember all those vague asks about someone angrily writing a Sans x Barnaby fanfic?
Yeah, well, I did it.
I'm working on the rest of the fic, gonna have at least 10 chapters with a bunch of lore sprinkled in between, but here, have this snippet for now:
All was peaceful in Home, as it always was. That's what Barnaby loved most about it. Everyone was friendly, playful, always willing to listen to his jokes (even if some of them were bad, and he got a tomato or two thrown at him in response.) He especially enjoyed spending time with Wally and Howdy, always willing to teach Wally a new joke or two, before using those new jokes in Howdy's Bugdega.
This particular afternoon, however, Barnaby was lazily lounging under a shady tree. Howdy was busy with some new stock in the shop, and Wally was playing a new complex game with an excitable Julie and a reluctant Frank. As for the others, Eddie was busy delivering mail, and Poppy was helping Sally with a new playscript. So, here Barnaby was, alone and letting out a loud yawn while coming up with some new comedy acts.
“Hm… maybe an airplane joke? Nah, nah, I've already made plenty of those. Something about bones? That could work, but how would I include the topic into an act…?” He mumbled to himself, putting a paw up to his chin in thought.
Then he felt the ground under him… shift.
Sink.
Slowly sinking deeper beneath him.
“What the..?” Barnaby looked down, confused as to why the grass seemed to be growing higher around him.
The sinking began to grow faster now, panicking the big beagle.
“W-Woah, woah, what's going on?!” Barnaby tried to scramble off the ground, but before he could, the grassy ground fell under him all at once. He yelped as he fell beneath the tree's roots, falling down a tight twisted tunnel. Barnaby reached his arms out, in the hopes of latching onto a stray root to climb his way out, but to no avail. He let out a grunt as his head harshly hit a rock on the way down, and his vision went black.
Barnaby didn’t know how long he was out for. However, he did know that, instead of waking up at the bottom of a dirt tunnel like he expected, he woke up in… a snowy forest?
“Ugh…” Barnaby groaned, wincing as he slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his head. With another wounded groan, he looked around in his new environment. The sky seemed to be replaced with a rocky roof, indicating that he was still underground, but… that doesn't explain the evergreen trees or the snow that seemingly fell from nowhere.
“… the hell..?” He mumbled, confused and unsure what to do.
“Hey, buddy.”
Barnaby stiffened at the sudden voice, turning around slowly. There stood a… a skeleton?
“I think you dropped this.” The skeleton spoke in a lazy voice, wearing a blue hooded jacket and a seemingly-permanent toothy smile on his face. In his left hand, he held Barnaby's hat, tilting it out to the beagle. Barnaby must have dropped it when he fell down here.
“Uh… thanks.” Barnaby hesitantly took the hat from the strange skeleton, trying to offer a friendly smile in response, before putting his hat back on.
“No problem,” the skeleton replied simply, putting his hands back in his pockets. “The name's Sans. Sans the Skeleton. What's yours?”
“… Barnaby. Barnaby B Beagle.”
“Nice to meet ya, Beagle. So, what were you doing on the ground? Didn’t look like you were making snow-dogs or anything.”
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mellotronmkll · 1 month ago
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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bluehexagone · 5 months ago
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Realism is fun till it isn’t and I realize I’ve already committed too far and can’t just scrap it but I know it will take me too long so here are some sacrifices you may see finished later on
#dragon#myart#creature#I still generally have inspiration for the first one so that one will probably get finished first#I really like watching the speedpaints procreate automatically records even though it’s crunchy and has a weird green tint#specifically on realism because it’s wild for anything else and is actually psychotic#Mostly because I just suddenly start experimenting with brushes and start turning layers off and on for a good chunk of it#I use 3 layers usually for realism#One for the actual drawing one for the sketch and one for a base color#It makes it better I think because it’s more similar to actual painting or something#That might not be the reason I dont really know#It’s just better I do it that way#Maybe because I can’t get distracted and lost?#Realism is also a great source of learning for me#Even if i never really finish stuff like this#I might this time though who knows#Sorry for leaving you guys stranded I’m chasing a really big train across the country#My priorities are with locomotives#“You guys” (I say to my very few followers 🤑🤑 (that probably followed me in the first place for dragon adventures stuff))#I do what I want and what I want is not dragon adventures right now#Right now I want locomotive#I’m not hijacking that train it sounds like I’m going to hijack that train#however#i would appreciate owning a big train I feel like I would enjoy that#Side note how do my DA followers feel about the genetic traits in the event eggs making motorouk w/ the error trait worth like 100mil#I feel ill when I can recite all of the full species names from memory#It does make sense though I’ve been playing since the first event in 2019#I’m committed what can I say#Almost forgot a tag oops#art
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savetheghost · 9 months ago
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save do you have any tips for managing migraines
uhhhhhh lessee
personally i have prescriptions for it cause mine screwed my brain up but obvious ones like proper rest + maybe log what you eat and see if theres any correlation + general put nutrients in your body stuff which is actually kind of hard to keep track of
i have some REALLY WEIRD scent based triggers so i have to stay away from ammonia-like scents and eucalyptus cause those will put my ass out flat IMMEDIATELY, thats not an everyone thing but maybe note if theres sensory stuff around you that might be a trigger
for me warm toned lights and screen tints are way better than cool tones/white light and if youve got light colored eyes wear amber tinted sunglasses outdoors
water + salty snack > pedialite > gatorade and depending on caffeine sensitivity maybe moderate that cause it can either help or hurt, kinda depends on the person, but water and saltines will get you electrolytes and its cheap as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck even if it doesnt taste as great as gatorade
sunlight on your skin and not in your eyeballs
also vitamin d just in general helps but its way better to actually use the sun for that than trying to digest it so like just 10ish minutes in the sun is what my neurologist recommended on top of taking 2000mg tablets
thats what ive got off the top of my head
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urlocalwormtoday · 3 months ago
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in cult of the lamb i remember when my favorite follower (white ish beige deer) proposed and it was so cute ((I even drew art of them together THEY MAKE ME ILL)) but then they died of old age a while later.. NOW ANOTHER DEER (((WHO HAS CONSISTENTLY TRIED TO PROVE HIS LOYALTY BY WANTING TO BE BOTH A DISCIPLE AND LOYALTY ENFORCER AND WANTING TO BE PUT IN JAIL))) WANTS TO MARRY ME AND ITS GIVING ME FLASHBACKS 😭🤲
#don't tell anyone but I do have a lambsona /silly#her name is Zephyr and the deer that originally was her spouse was named Magre#OUGHH I LOVE THEM SM <333#I tried speedrunning the game to get the golden skull necklace to make them immortal but#alas#I was not quick enough T-T#the best I could do was stretch their lifespan out#ARUGHH AND I DON'T HAVE THE REVIVAL DOCTRINE THING o(-(#anyhow#the follower that has repeatedly been devoted and loyal is a brown-grey deer with the darker marking on the forehead#his name is anmer and I feel bad for him bc I imagine it's one sided </3#he was born in the cult so it's a lil weird but#imagine you were born in this wonderful group of people- always accepting and kind and against most things bad#and the leader of this group was a lamb; powerful and guiding and never aggressive#you grow up cared for by them and nurtured by them; your life practically revolves around them#but they're somber a lot of the time. they're quiet and kind but they don't talk much. you never learn why#most of the graves in the graveyard are unmarked and you don't spend a whole lot of time there anyway#but as you grow older you see they're hurting#you don't understand why. nobody does except for them#you want to make them feel better even if you don't know how#so you go up to them one day and tell them “hey. I wanna be your right hand man. I wanna be your disciple”#and they let you with little resistance- if anything they seem happy !#but they're not happy for very long. you don't understand your presence hurts them more#because whenever they look at you they see somebody from the past. a dead lover#IM ILL. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL#cotl#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb oc#cult of the lamb sona#Worm Thoughts
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outeremissary · 1 year ago
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Hiiii while I'm on here for five seconds know that I miss folks and I hope to be more active again soon now that one of the busiest parts of the work year is doooone
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early-october-skies · 7 months ago
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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evilwrongdoer · 7 months ago
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i can never wean myself off this shit. i will be an addict forever, because it's all i have.
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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Wait holdup what’s this about Howdy’s shop burning down and nearly taking him with it?? (talking about human au)
oh yeah lmfao it caught fire
it wasn't like... foul play or anything. in my mind it was some sort of electrical failure or bizarre accident. like a lightning strike! actually wait i like that lightning strike idea bc then it could be Raining for this very dramatic scene and i do love me some rain juxtaposing fire <3
and Howdy would've been fine! he got all of his employees and customers out of the building, including himself. he handed them off to Barnaby & Wally, who had been swinging by for dinner with fantastic timing (the fire department was just then arriving). then, like an idiot, Howdy went right back inside the Very On Fire building!
bc, ok, he lives in his store. specifically, above it. the ground floor is the store, then there's a staircase going up to an apartment. and naturally, Howdy was not gonna abandon all of his / the store's legal documents (also his coupon stash) to burn.
so in his mind he was like "yeah ill just pop in, grab these very important files, and then get out. easy!". babe, you're giving Barnaby & Wally a heart attack. that's what you're doing. dumbass (affectionate)
but yeah he's in there, in the burning building, smoke everywhere. meanwhile outside firefighters (and Wally) have to physically hold Barnaby back from going in after Howdy, even though a few more firefighters already went in to find him. its all very dramatic! blah blah blah the front door becomes unusable, blah blah blah the apartment windows explode due to thermal stress & also bc i want them to, etc etc
long story short the firefighters get Howdy out through the back, and mostly unscathed at that! ofc smoke inhalation is a thing, he's got some minor cuts and burns, but it's really not that bad! lucky bastard! he gets taken to the hospital to get treated & make sure he's fine, and he is.
naturally he stays with Barnaby & Wally for a while. he doesn't have a say in the matter lol he was planning on getting a motel room or somethin, but Barnaby picked him up from the hospital, took him home, and went "alright the guest room is ready for you we can go shopping tomorrow for anything you need, you live here now". good thing Howdy rescued his coupons!
the fire damage to the building is, thankfully, mostly cosmetic. it takes a while to clean & fix it, but Howdy has great friends and a wonderful community to help out! everyone chips in, some fundraisers happen, Wally sells some Darling™️ Exclusives™️, etc. long story short they get the store back up & running, and with some new bells and whistles to go with it!
#the scene is Very Vivid in my head#i had to sneak some action drama in there somewhere!!!!#what better than a building fire!! what can i say! im a sucker for the#'character watches person they love run straight into danger & is unable to follow them'#'and so is forced to watch in terror unsure if the loved one will make it out alive'#trope!!! its damn good!!! ill never tire of it!!!#the rain glittering in the firelight! the red-blue of emergency lights! glass raining down! wet pavement & black smoke!#its about The Visuals!!#i think my favorite part of the Brain Scene is when they get howdy out & he's like. half collapsed on the curb w/ an oxygen mask#and barnaby is Hovering! very freaked out but also immensely relieved! as soon as he learns theyre taking howdy to the hospital#he sprints to his car to go follow the ambulance!!#(in my mind julie eddie and sally had shown up & wally stayed with them to answer questions / keep an eye on things)#but yeah! drama Babey!!!#rambles from the bog#wh modern human au#i feel so bad for howdy lmfao#like... that store is his Everything and it got crispied. so did his home. and pretty much all his possessions#i also feel very bad for barnaby! he has a bad year bc of Two Incidents!#barnaby 'if one more person i love winds up injured in the hospital im going to Lose It' b. beagle#barnaby: well that whole fire thing was a disaster but we're all okay <3 with any luck there'll be no more hospital visits <3#wally: im about to end this mans whole career-#ough and the arc of howdy living with them for a bit.... ougggghhhh#bc he & barns are in that 'our mutual feelings are unspoken but we both Know' inbetween state#its like a trial run for their future lmfao#except. a depressed trial run. bc howdy is very fucking upset about losing his Home & Possessions#a piece of the world he'd carved out for himself that was His and no one else's#he has a period of pushing through with an 'everything is fine i can work w this' pained grin and emotional avoidance#until obviously he hits a wall and Crashes. depressy spaghetti time!#he'll be fine but he doesn't feel like it for a while <3 good thing he's got awesome friends to keep him afloat <3
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capricores · 2 years ago
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happy new years guys!! i hope you're all having a wonderful day/night so far <3
i'm not sure about everyone else, but it really doesn't feel like a typical new year! i think with the heaviness of the mars & mercury rx (especially considering the signs are inconjunct, which makes things extra tough), it kind of just feels like another day!! if you have a day chart, you might feel extra impacted by the mars retrograde as compared to night chart babies. definitely take it easy if you're feeling off/stressed/etc, and perhaps use january as a time of reflection, and focus more on putting plans into action in march! (or, in january - if it feels right for you!! but if you feel overwhelmed or lack motivation for any sort of resolutions or planning, just know you aren't alone, the sky right now is a bit "heavy")
personally i tend to celebrate the new year as per the astrological new year (aka first day of aries szn as the new year) which feels extra right because that'll be around the time mars is no longer rx nor in the shadow period!!!
anyway!! how are you all feeling?! any thoughts about 2022/2023, plans/etc?! personally the only thing on my mind rn is genshin impact girl groups, and relaxing as much as possible in january until mars and mercury chill out!!! 2022 was rough!!
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yuridovewing · 11 months ago
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Disclaimer: I personally have not finished TBC beyond the first book. I did finish AVOS and its back half is considered poor quality for a reason. If you aren't having fun now I can tell you right now you wouldnt enjoy the rest. At most I think (iirc) the last book is important bc it establishes Juniperclaw attacking SkyClan, and Shadowsight getting a vision to swim in the flooded lake to 'unite' the clans- both of which are relevant to TBC in some way. But even then you could probably skim to the rrlevant parts, IDK.
i'll be real when i made that post last night it was kind of out of sarcasm and pettiness, like i do think im still gonna read those last three books and skim the boring parts at the very least, but that's on me cause now when i look at the post it does come across as very whiny and serious so that's on me lmao. (and i was kinda whiny at the moment cause i always forget about how mean spirited these books are.)
buuuuut hearing what people are saying, it does make me feel a bit better for skimming the back half of avos cause i think thats what i'm gonna have to do for sanity's sake if i want to catch up. i do want to give quotes and takes that are really backed up by the books and not secondhand info so i will try to keep to it but i think if i'm gonna read about thunderclan being shitty to twigpaw then im gonna start skimming cause like, we all know they were shitty to twigpaw now, it was uncomfortable when she was a kid and its uncomfortable still now that she's an adult. you don't need to see that backed up once again.
#i really cant emphasize enough that while i like the petty melodrama i can get out of these books#some of it is really just... exhausting. especially under the new team cause i got the WORST impression of them#ill pay close attention to scenes like briarlight's death and how they regard it and see if twigpaw's treatment improves#but like the main thing abt these books that doesnt hold up is that theyre just... kinda miserable#no one learns anything and any attempt at deconstructing the clans' violence is thrown out with ''but they meant well!''#newsflash! intent doesnt always matter! actions speak louder than words!#and its especially difficult in avos cause while i dont like alderheart. no one here is treated well#i mean i think alder is treated better by the narrative compared to spark but hes gotta deal with his (lbr) emotionally abusive mentor#and the narrative twisting itself backwards to make him a victim and no one agrees with him. and i like underdog protags#but it feels so contrived and mean here. the journey cats all turning on him and demeaning him and twigpaw is so weird#it feels forced and unnecessary. woven for some drawn out conflict so he can be a victim and ooooo doesnt his sister suuuuck#and thats not even touching on the actual shit twig and violet go through. which while its kinda better its still a slog#cause at the end of the day they look directly at the camera and go ''remember! thunderclan did nothing wrong!''#theyll only admit shadowclan is wrong which is ok cause theyre the evil and pathetic clan we're supposed to hate i guess#and the ultimate conclusion is not that the clans were disgusting for treating children that way.#its that they were mistaken all along cause they were CLANBORN children all along! and now we gotta prove skyclan is a valid clan#cause if thats not a valid clan then theyre not valid cats!#and isnt that just. so much worse of a conclusion? that even after darktail was born out of the clans dismissing and mistreating outsiders#theyre not even entertaining the idea that the way they treat cats like him violet and twig isnt okay?#nope! they actually kinda call attention to it in book 3 when darktail says he and violet are alike#and its supposed to be him being wrong and manipulative and gross rather than anything meaningful#avos liveread#mail#idk. sometimes i do regret deciding to catch up cause avos is just a miserable experience so far
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yatiso · 2 years ago
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first sober night in awhile and im not itchin for weed or alchie and am instead remembering the things that make my blood pump day after day
#🍒#colors ✅ art of all mediums ✅ music ✅ love ✅ my beautiful boyfriend ✅ the occult ✅ the unknown ✅ the stars and sky and moon in particular ✅#poetrt ✅ prose ✅ fun fashion i dont feel compelled to conform to ✅ funnie jokes ✅ friends ✅ peaceful times not self forced or worried bout#understanding ✅ learning ✅ not understanding but knowing i can if i keep going ✅ memories of things that bring me joy ✅#i could do this all damn day. love the world when im not obsessed with consuming substances. who woulda thunk#even w out weed / alchie when i was taking my adderall i couldnt relax like this or feel like this#:3 im learning to be more in tune w my body and the world around me. including aspects of the world we cant see :3#how amazing is that… a few years ago rn i was in and out of inpatient slittin my wrists left and right drinkin a bottle of cough syrup a day#and now. well i still do get urges to cut once a cutter always a cutter. but i just dont do it anymore.#hmmmm this post got deeper than i meant for it to#oh well ill post it anyways but be careful ig lol#i just think its neat what you can achieve when u just listen to what you think and feel as you navigate the world. just listen for awhile.#then take action after feeling ur feelings and thinking your thoughts and letting them take their course and weed out what’s temporary n not#hmmm this post IS a diary entry maybe i shouldnt post. no i will ill come back and see this post one day and go :3 wow. im even better now!
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