#the worst thing is
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the inability to use modern expressions like "jesus christ" and "oh my god" when writing people speaking in a modern, colloquial fantasy in fiction is actually really awkward sometimes. because almost anything you replace it with is going to sound naff as hell. tempted to just leave the culturally-contextual oaths in and trust people to understand that they're translation conventions. turn linguistic smeerps into rabbits, as it were.
#the problem is that the urge to think about the worldbuilding implications of this stuff is fractal#like okay you thought about religion#if a character bruises their tailbone#does that mean evolution happened in this world?#did it happen over the same timescales?#if there are birds that implies dinosaurs once existed#how many moons are there?#how big is the sun in the sky?#have you worked out a full map of the entire planet and all its climatological details yet???#the worst thing is#this is a madness that only affects me when i'm writing#i don't give a shit about this stuff when i'm reading!#i know it doesn't matter to readers but i have to think about it anyway because i have a Disease
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i swear university papers were invented just to torture me specifically
#im god's most hated little princess#the sky is blue the breeze is pleasant i am falling into depression#the worst thing is#i like the paper in theory#would love to be able to work on it#oh executive function#you cruel and fleeting mistress
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#the worst thing is#I can't open up to anyone#i keep my shit to myself#like i don't need anyone's sympathies#it makes me feel insecure#i always suffer alone in silence and darkness
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i can never wean myself off this shit. i will be an addict forever, because it's all i have.
#tw addiction#honey what'd you take what'd you take honey look at me tell me what you took what'd you take#my many many vices#i do not seek peace#i seek nothing but chaos#because if keeps me alive#im not alive unless there are at least 3 things to worry about at all times#any feeling is better than no feeling#i wonder which will kill me first#the stress or the addictions#will i ever find peace?#will i ever learn to enjoy it?#the worst thing is#its the bad emotions i like the most#fun is fleeting#but pain#pain is forever#all the bad and dumb shit i have done will haunt me forever#and i love it#nothing makes me happier than scream crying over someone#pain is my drug#as in emotional pain#i will die one day#and when that day comes#ill hopefully be happy#i dont know how im going to die#i dont know where ill end up#i wish i could know#what ill be doing in 5 years#fuck
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Am currently very sick
Fever, chills, sweating, the works
Had to call in sick today when I was supposed to be on a 28 hour shift and so the mid-level senior doctor who has to cover for me is very pissed (it would have been me admitting cases, not her) I cannot take more than one day off at a time so I guess I’m going back to work tomorrow while shivering and about to faint
Because it’s not covid and as a resident unless you’re able to walk you keep working
I am too tired to be angry I feel like death on an ancient thermostat
#Residency#medicine#the worst thing is#I legit have to go to work tomorrow#I have to#there is no work-life balance in medicine#THey moved my 28 hour shift to monday#I'm still doing six of those a month on top of regular working days#so it's not like I even actually got time off#personal#my post
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There's a lot of things in my life I've done that make me feel shame but nothing compares to the feeling of listening to a Big Bang Theory joke and actually laughing at it
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I have been diagnosed as emo, by my sister, who has much better grasp on these things. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room for the next 2-3 business days recovering.
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nothing worse when you’re on pinterest mobile and you see a pin that’s so perfectly you but you swipe your finger the wrong way and pinterest just cannot compute so it glitches and turns the whole screen white or black and the only way to fix it is to close the app and reopen it, knowing that the perfect pin is gone forever and you���ll never be able to save it to one of your boards
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presented without comment
#this is perhaps the worst thing i’ve ever made#so now it gets to terrorise people outside of my private discord server#enjoy#gravity falls#billford#gideon gleeful#dipper pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#the book of bill
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a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints
#my worst fears have been realized#i should trust my instincts sometimes#autism#asd#autistic#autistic community#actually autistic#autistic adult#autistic things#neurodivergent#neurodiversity
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FUCK
#game changer#game changer season 6#game changer spoilers#sam says#sam reich#lou wilson#jacob wysocki#vic michaelis#this is the worst thing I've ever seen actually#i almost cried#the sheer joy of Henry and the thought of not being allowed to see him#also sorry for the terrible quality of the video 😭#pretty sure it's lagging badly but that's all i got 🥲
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where my fellow monster fuckers at 👅👅👅👅👅👅
#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#laios touden#farcille#marcille donato#falin#not going to lie labru is the worst thing to happen to me because damn everyones lining up for yaoi and not laios x monsters sniff sniff#sorry cough im. normal#my artwork#rkgk#winged lion#theres not even a ship tag for them im sick#lios..?#laion#😭
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation
because WHAT are people talking about sometimes
#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things#full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes#because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner#'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon'#and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is#at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all#please tell me you know that#or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy#being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'
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today my cousin's gf told me I looked preattier bc I had my nails painted and wore "tighter" (what) clothes.. what the fuck I thought that she was better than that
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