#ill be crying in bed now
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I just wanted some hurt/comfort. What better way to achieve that than the Sacrificed Chaos AU.
#foserdraws#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog au#sonic au#silver the hedgehog#sacrificed chaos au#dadow au#hurt/comfort#sonic sings to shadow to calm him after the events of shadow the hedgehog#later on shadow began singing it to silver as a lullaby#reassurance that just because hes a little different from everyone else#hes still loved#shadow will never let silver fall into self loathing like he did#i might have hurt myself emotionally while drawing#ill be crying in bed now#sonadow
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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"Good morning, Matt. I'm over here." *proceeds to look around widly like a dog being told a special word like b-a-l-l*
he looks so disgruntled having to locate people he must've been shit at the I SPY books as a kid
media availability | 6.14.24 (x)
#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2324#playoffs 24#easily the funniest way to start a presser#hi good morning matthew now you must locate me in the sea of lights and people despite the fact it looks like you just rolled out of bed#making him use his pretty little brain already? absolutely deranged of em#paul had also had trouble with the lights too during the game 3 pressers#like father like son#anyways i cant imagine the sensory issues youd have to experience with bright ass buzzy lights i too would be just as grumpy#and then id cry#sensory issues are not fun ill tell you that much#its matthew ofc im gonna project my own sensory issues on him who do you think i am
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cute date :] i wanted to try some clothes and also experiment on colors since ive been unsatisfied lately... it ended up looking good!! im happy with it
#i am so fucking much dying right now my tummy hurts so much ill just catapult this piece and go in my bed to cry#arknights#stalkiwiart#olivia silence#saria#art#fanart
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idk if there's anything you can do about it but someone is using your chappell hot to go art on teepublic & I thought you would want to know if u don't already :(
Nice. love this for me./s
uhhh anyways thank you for bringing this to my attention @hyuckieberry! I’m gonna try to figure out TeePublic’s DMCA takedown request. which is very frustrating since i am from the Philippines. and DMCA is very much bound to just the USA.
for now, if anyone sees this, PLEASE HELP ME REPORT the account.
If anyone is interested in buying the tshirt/design, please consider supporting me, its up on my Redbubble. the only place where i have uploaded the design.
Honestly, simply reblogging and liking this or the original post i made will help immensely.
#narwhal speaks#chappell roan#chappell roan fanart#chappell roan fan merch#I thought i was finally having a good day and i was so proud of myself because i finally managed to get out of bed#after having a fucking relapse#and now this????????#it fucking sucks because the more i look into the DMCA takedown request of TeePublic#which btw very labor intensive and full of legal jargon i am ill equipped to follow#ITS LIKE ONLY FOR THE US????????????#I am currently living breathing in the philippines unfortunately#anyways uuuhhh#i’m gonna go cry and maybe my rage/frustrations can help me figure something out#i’m gonna be sick#hopefully my rage and frustration will keep me from spiralling back into a depressed state lol.#is this what i get for bedrotting for months?#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#fuck me gently with a fucking chainsaw
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ough god, I cried over this
#the monkees#mike nesmith#michael nesmith#davy jones#micky dolenz#keep stickin around kid we all love you#micky will be such a hard one for me guys. paul mccartney will break my mom im sure but ill be in such hardcore denial over micky i know it#and like micky and mike make me emotional but micky and davy do too… and he had to include pictures of them in the 70s… before their#‘breakup’ when i tell you i thought about it a bit too long and then started to cry…#the monkees make me way too emotional but good god#cause it’s that one picture that’s like i think in the late 70s !! and they’re buddies !! and then… ough poor micky#and he has all these memories#(or maybe not cause they did tell him he had a good time lol)#and i cannot look at anything related to mike and micky in 2021. i will get very distraught. michael is too much for my brain to handle#i need to go to bed now lest i get to sleep too late again but i’ve been thinking about this post literally all day#like thinking of both mike and davy on the same day… if micky isn’t involved in the relationship i don’t care it seems so this post broke me#okay okay goodnight i’ll shut up ill shut up i cant even think too hard about it im just blabbing in the tags so so sorry#also that first picture is gorgeous#like they’re all so pretty but davy is serving hard and i don’t say that lightly cause im not usually someone who usually favors davy#over micky and mike#but that’s such a beautiful picture of the three of them and i will shut up now goodnight
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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happy weekend, friendos <333
it's going to be another quiet one from me as i recover from a really physically taxing week, BUT!!!!!!! if you're on the lookout for some wonderful writing to boggle your mind and some beautiful art to boggle your eyeballs, you should really check out this year's amazing contributions to @untildawn-secretsanta!!!!!!!
scroll through the blog! appreciate how many talented people are in this fandom 🥹 it's 100% what i'm going to be doing this weekend as my brain and body patch themselves back up :P
🫶🫶🫶
#queenie rambles#six sentence weekend#PUH-LEEEEEEEEASE go check out all the beautiful gifts from this year - everyone on the blog deserves so much love#i fully intend on getting back to prompt fills and stuff asap it's just. been a lot over here guys lol#what they don't warn you about growing up is that you WILL hit an age where like. you are. very responsible for funeral stuff. lmao.#it's all behind me now and i'm really hopeful 2025 will be. different for me.#but today the chronic illness is illnessing and i fully plan on staying in bed and snacking napping and crying hahahahahahaha#i made the rookie mistake of pretending i didnt have chronic fatigue this week and surprise - it caught up to me 😔
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Having the lost elf theme playing at the end there was absolutely criminal behaviour.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#i was waiting for it to come up tbh#and when it did i was gonna bite something#my head hurts ive been crying on and off for like 4 hours#the last time i cried this hard during a game was the end of Mass Effect 3#my roommate can attest to me sobbing at 2am on my bed with the game on#this time its me at 12-3am sobbing on my bed while my dog and cat just sleep#could i have played this in the morning? yeah definitely#but risk someone walking in on me sobbing??? no thank you#im going to replay the final quest again tomorrow maybe . ill be ready this time#but also looking at a sketch i had : how am i supposed to finish this now#sits down head in hands how could this happen to me
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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oh always nice to wake up think youre in the process of being twitter suspended for getting a little too hrny with ur last gojo post and like fk u i didn’t wanna do this anyway ;-; (a lie)
#my tweets are loading#its funny how i went: we should go back to bed#but my chronically online brain was like no lets just do a quick glance#and now i am physically and mentally ill#and i want to cry#and it’s chronically online behavior yes#but getting suspended for hrny gojos is genuinely my greatest fear#bc of the sheer levels of irony#where he would simultaneously be the reason for my success and downfall like
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Nothing yet has made me sob my eyes out like hunter x hunter not this bad okay the end arcs of the anime got me bad
#✧˖*° gwyn speaks.◞ ― ᴏᴏᴄ ᴛᴀɢ *ೃ༄#(I haven't emotionally recovered from this show)#(these characters make me ILL)#(.. tho yyh. kuwabaras breakdown scenes. at yusuke's deaths. they almost got me)#(I rarely cry at shows. I DON'T /SOB/ AT SHOWS. I am getting old and soft now ..)#(I need to get ready for bed but also. writing. calls me)
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tried putting on my radiator for the first time this winter (we've had snow this week.... its focking cold) but it trips the fusebox for the entire flat lmfao. I'm fuuuucked 😐
#all the other radiators work fine its just mine :'(((#and bc its thw weekend they wont come out to fix it until monday at least so thats great#its fine i havent needed it on this week so far and i have layers and a hot water bottle so ill be fine but i did cry abt it a bit#but not so much abt the radiator just a lot on my mind.. i couldnt pick up my prescription after work either bc the secretary left half an#hour early and the very kind nurse who had a look for it anyway couldnt find it and i cant get there any earlier next week bc of work#i know itll be fine ive already sent an email to ask if they can send it to my local pharmacy instead ill get my meds before they run out#but still i cried a bit walking home from the clinic 😢 just been a long week even if not a bad one. and i miss my friend whos moving#he'll be on the plane now.... man. its a bit selfish but im also sad abt it bc he always noticed how i was feeling when i was at the gym#like if i was privately dealing w some shit or just wasnt quite myself he could tell n would find a moment to gently ask or just be there#without probing abt it like man hes so reassuring and kind and has such a big heart. before he left he asked me to look out for some of#the quieter ones in our group and make sure they feel included and someones listening to them when he wont be around to anymore#😢💔💔💔💔 and i know i didnt know him long enough to become proper good friends with him but it meant a lot that he looked out for me#like all i really want in this world is to feel seen n safe esp when im having a hard time. and none of my closer friends really do that#and thats okay like its not their fault and they just express their way of caring differently but sometimes i feel so lonely ah....#and also my period is due and im kind of scared of how painful itll be bc the last few have been so bad snd i find loneliness a lot harder#when im in a lot of pain and anyway this is all probably just the pre period hormones making me so tearful so it doesnt matter#its ok made a big bowl of rice so im going to eat that wrapped up cosy in bed with a movie i think. and then sleep#.diaries
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I feel like we don’t acknowledge the level of trauma Remus Lupin went through when he was four and a werewolf came through his window whilst he was sleeping and mauled him. like he would have died rather than be turned if his dad hadn’t shown up throwing spells about. that shit is heavy
#remus lupin#we always talk about Sirius' family and im sorry but werewolf trumps that in my mind#I love my angst factories#hp#marauders#I’ve been reading wolf star fics lately can you tell#surprisingly I find there’s more angst about Sirius’ childhood than about the time someone tried to kill 4yr old Remus in his bedroom#most don’t even touch on it#they just have Remus feeling like a monster and then the full moon every now and again + feeling I’ll#*ill#like bro he was ATTACKED. BY A GROWN MAN. WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING. IN HIS OWN BEDROOM.#that 100% should’ve been a safe place for Remus and he probably never felt safe there again#I certainly don’t think he slept in his room for month. he slept in his parents’ bed.#but also his parents were trying to fix him. and he was a baby werewolf with no real understanding of what was happening to him#and they were scared of him#i’m not crying you are#anyway fuck jkr
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i have to sit with my window open tonight bc i (very responsibly) started painting with oil in my room and now it smells like turpentine and theres turpentine in here so if theres a moth ill be sure to let yall know
#so i can cry to my phone or something#ill og to sleep downstairs again god what will i do when dad comes back#ill sleep on the couch#ok i see this is stupid post moment now its 3am i will go read idw in bed and if i take any cute screenshots ill let yall know
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why can't i just do things when i say i will do them?
#to make paying the monthly gym subscription worth it i need to go at least 7 times. its been 2 weeks and ive been twice so i need to go#at least 5 more times in the next 2.5 weeks#i can go tomorrow directly after uni and then maybe ill be able to force myself to go on friday again#then I'll just have to go one time next week and 2 the week after that#and i mean i still have time to go today but i dont have the energy and im also getting hungry sooo thats not happening#but since im not goimg to the gym i have to stufy. which is easier bc i can do it from my bed without getting dressed and leaving the house#and if i start crying while doing that there will be no one there to judge me#okay im glad we agree#I'll just get up and go bring my stuff now#i can do that#why am i like this#okay im going#bye see you later#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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