#I am currently living breathing in the philippines unfortunately

[sofiaruelle]

idk if there's anything you can do about it but someone is using your chappell hot to go art on teepublic & I thought you would want to know if u don't already :(

Nice. love this for me./s

uhhh anyways thank you for bringing this to my attention @hyuckieberry! I’m gonna try to figure out TeePublic’s DMCA takedown request. which is very frustrating since i am from the Philippines. and DMCA is very much bound to just the USA.

for now, if anyone sees this, PLEASE HELP ME REPORT the account.

If anyone is interested in buying the tshirt/design, please consider supporting me, its up on my Redbubble. the only place where i have uploaded the design.

Honestly, simply reblogging and liking this or the original post i made will help immensely.

[astrorising]

Is my brain reaching or is this definitely a sign from my ancestors?

If you guys didn’t know, I landed my dream job in hospice. Absolutely loving it, it’s been such a dream tbh 😭🥹 I worked so hard for it!

Anywho, another important factor to this is my heritage. Where did my family come from? My distant ancestors are from the Philippines, while my grandma is from Saipan, and my dad is from Guam. That would make my family Chamorro. My dad and I currently live in the Midwest. Very white towns and cities, very much Canadian accent. We have yet to meet any Islander from anywhere here because it gets COLD as hell here.

Today, we admitted a Chamorro woman to our facility. I won’t lie, she was not in great shape. Absolutely non responsive, we thought she would pass on our shift, no doubt. As always, I perform cares on my patient. Up to this point, her breathing was very labored, so I performed mouth cares. Her eyes started opening very little, but I started to guess if she’s actually gaining consciousness? Then I told myself I was getting too hopeful to talk to her, and she was actively dying. She has all the signs at this point, it could be any minute.

Before my nurse left for report, I heard her lightly yell something. It sounded so familiar, so I asked my nurse to confirm she was hearing it too; and I wasn’t hearing things. She said it again, and I thought I heard “neni”. Neni in chamorro translates to “baby”. Neni is more of an endearing meaning to baby. My chamorro family only calls me neni, they never call me my real name. I am not kidding you when my jaw dropped when we went into her room. She was WIDE awake, and smiling at me. I couldn’t help but smile so hard, and we islanders have eye smiles. You can tell I’m smiling at any point behind a mask. She then smiles directly at me, stares, and says “neni girl” 😭😭 I’m trying so hard not to lose it at this point, because she sounds EXACTLY how my grandma sounded.

Unfortunately, my grandma passed away 2 years before I found my family. According to my family, they were looking for us just as hard as we were looking for them. What made it harder for my family was my dads name change. I’ve only seen my grandma through videos. Their voices are so similar.

After I translate as best as I could, did her cares, I immediately went to the bathroom and cried. I didn’t understand how this lady went from non responsive to wide awake smiling at me; calling me “neni girl”… but neni girl? It’s like hearing something I always wanted to hear, in my grandmas voice.

When I clocked out and drove home, all I could do was think. I sat by my stove, smoked a bowl, and just re analyzed everything. The more I did, the more I realized when she was calling out “neni” the more she gained consciousness. As I said before, when her eyes started opening little by little, I was second guessing if she was gaining consciousness. I am guessing it could be her “rallying”, or maybe she is truly getting better. I guess time will tell with circumstance.

Guys…. What do you think 😭🥹 honestly, I’m crying because my patient is so cute and sweet regardless. Please wish her the best on her journey to reunite with her loved ones ❤️

[viasotto]

they say “she’s gone too far this time"

the basics

name: olivia wilhelmina sotto

fc: maris racal

also known as: the priceless gem

nicknames: via

gender: cis female

pronouns: she/her

age: 24

date of birth: august 4

astrological sign: leo

place of birth: the hamptons, new york

nationality: filipino-american (dual citizen)

ethnicity: filipino

family: don claudio and doña wilhelmina sotto (grandparents, currently in the philippines), antonio and evelina sotto (parents, currently in new york, and olivero claudio sotto (older twin brother, current location unknown)

occupation and education

education: BFA in Theatre/MA in Performing Arts Administration (dual degree), MA Art, Education, and Community Practice

previous occupations: none

current occupation: socialite

romance and attraction

relationship status: single

longest relationship: one year

appearance

height: 5′2″ without heels

weight: 106lbs

build: petite, slim build

hair color and style: long, brown

eyes color: dark brown

clothing style: classic, feminine, elegant chic

tattoos: none

piercings: ears

defining features: beauty mark on right side of lips

personality

positive traits: supportive, motivated, persevering, creative, family-oriented, independent

negative traits: loyalty to an extreme, set in her ways, guarded

likes: choco pies, crepe cakes, brunch, sleepovers with friends, retail therapy, a well-organized day, lists, beauty face masks, eggs benedict, straightforward conversations

dislikes: surprises, rowdiness, disruptive behavior, being judged, food not cooked to perfection, confusing actions

hobbies and skills

notable skills: calligraphy, digital art, planning

secret talents: singing, dancing

languages spoken: english, tagalog, bisaya

before anything else: yes, i am aware that maris is of visayan descent and i am bisaya myself. please do not try to tell me how to play my muse. with that out of the way, please do communicate any form of drama involving my muse. unplotted drama will be ignored. it is not fun to play a character that gets dragged into things i am not aware of. i am always down for plotted in-character drama, and i prefer if we are comfortable talking ooc about it. i promise i’m approachable!

More about Via

For most of Via’s life, she was never referred to by her actual name when introduced to people. She was always “the granddaughter of Don Claudio and Doña Wilhelmina Sotto,” whose names inspire fear or awe—depending on who is hearing or saying them. Those who know the names know how much influence they sway in the Philippines, particularly in the southern islands of the country, but their influence does not stop there. The Sottos of New York have always been tied to opulence, famously known as art collectors and real estate magnates in one of the most expensive places to live in. Via’s mother took care to keep the tradition alive, hosting some of the most historic gatherings in the Hamptons. But of course, anyone in New York knows these traditions are not just about fun and festivities. Hidden behind caviars and canapés is the parental instinct to pave the way for the next generation to hold the mantel when it’s their turn. Even back in Via’s school days, classmates were clearly told by parents wanting to keep a good connection with the Sottos to be mindful of her wishes.

When one is born with influence, it becomes almost as natural as breathing--even when Via is not aware of it or choosing to actively exert it. Despite the air of influence, Via remained grounded--as far as grounding can go for someone who enjoys her fair share of everyday excesses. Unfortunately for the elder Sottos, the heir and heiress of the family fortune both refused to fall in line for the scripted life, the gilded cage. Via is known to spend her time anywhere but in the usual hangouts of the rich and famous, which is why she ended up in Santa Felicita, a paradise to its residents but it’s no Saint-Tropez. She is also here for another reason: Her older brother, who disappeared mysteriously two years ago, has been spotted here, or at least that’s the private investigator told Via. 

Important

despite coming from old money and a very influential family, via does not like to concern herself with complicated social connections and often finds it burdensome to keep up appearances.

however, this does not mean she does not use it to her advantage from time to time. she is a socialite, after all. 

no one who’s actually friends with via calls her olivia. anyone who name-drops her using her full name is clearly using her for clout--or at least that’s what she assumes. only her family calls her olivia.

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy XV Review

Year: 2016

Original Platform: PlayStation 4

Also available on: PC (Steam), XBox One

Version I Played: PlayStation 4

Here we go. The final Final Fantasy review of the main single-player games. I just want to say, first off, we’ve been waiting for this game since 2006. It took them ten damn years to finally release this game. I clearly remember the teaser trailer they released when it was called Final Fantasy XIII Versus, and my next-door neighbor and I were so hyped for this game when we were freaking teenagers. After years of delays, Square Enix revamped it into Final Fantasy XV.

Did it live up to the wait? Well, read and find out.

Synopsis:

Noctis Lucis Caelum is the heir to the throne of the kingdom of Lucis. On his birthday, he sets off with his three best friends and bodyguards (Ignis, Prompto, Gladio) to marry his betrothed, Lunafreya. The marriage is supposed to be a political one, though Noct and Lunafreya had grown up together and become fond of each other. But peace turns to war as the empire of Niflheim betrays Insomnia and invades. Noct, now on the run, has to reclaim his right to the throne by collecting the necessary family heirlooms which will banish the darkness.  

Gameplay:

Open-world Final Fantasy.

That is the big selling point for this game. 

A MASSIVE step up from Final Fantasy XIII’s gameplay, Final Fantasy XV has you roaming around and attacking enemies on the field in real time. The battle system returns to something slightly more conventional by having you cast spells and use items. It seems like this is what Square really intended to do after Final Fantasy XII. Looking back, Final Fantasy XIII feels like some prototype before Final Fantasy XII, so it really becomes apparent that Final Fantasy XIII’s gameplay comes off as a huge mistake.

This game’s major’s strength comes from the player engaging with a massive world. You camp. You take on hunts. You take on a bajillion sidequests. You run across the world. You drive across the world. You can ride a chocobo across the world.

However, the dip in the gameplay comes from how easily accessible these sidequests are. The map tells you exactly where you go 24/7. I started to have an existential crisis around my 50th sidequest in a row. Why am I doing this? What’s the point? I go here to kill a thing, or go there to help someone by giving a potion or taking a picture. You start to realize that a good bulk of sidequests are either hunting daemons or fetching an item. You start to deconstruct the meaning of playing a video game as you think to yourself, “Why do I play video games?” while also thinking “But wait, one more and then I swear I’m done.”.

I get it, not everyone has the time nowadays to figure out a huge game like this. I get it, video games are now marketed to everyone for ease. At the same time, I personally love a good challenge. I mean, I’m the guy who has Dark Souls as one of his favorite video games of all time, so my opinion on the matter might definitely be skewered compared to most. I generally want to feel like I actually figured something out by myself rather than following a tracker on the screen and walking from task to task and then saying, “Okay done. Next.”.

Too much of that and playing a video game starts to feel like a 9 to 5 job to me. This game is great to play during quarantine, but at one point I saw playing this game as feeling like an actual job. Wake up, eat breakfast, time to hunt some daemons.

This is the growing conflict some people have with story-driven games versus open-world games. I see the argument focused too much on words like “linear”, but in reality we should be talking about “automation”. If a video game is too automated, then did you really play a video game? Or did you watch a movie that allows you to control the camera angle? At first, the idea of driving around an open-world Final Fantasy game sounds amazing. Isn’t that what fans always dreamed of? In reality, you don’t really drive around at your leisure. Even when you have the car set to “manual”, you can’t speed up, drive off-road, or pull off a sick drift like in The Fast and the Furious. Your car still automatically stays on the road wherever you’re going. It’s not so much “manual” as it is “I can control where and when to stop and which road to take”. Riding chocobos at your leisure is much more fun, but becomes increasingly impractical as you can just fast-travel to necessary locations in your car.

The sights and sounds of the fictional world of Eos are enough to gloss over these shortcomings though. It IS still fun to roam around and fight monsters and save the day. My bottom line is, “You don’t think about just how mindless the tasks are unless you keep playing for many days straight.”. And I poured hours into this game day after day because of the 2020 pandemic quarantine.

Graphics:

Obviously the best thus far. However, in-game facial expressions on the NPCs are still quite stilted and awkward. This game made me realize that we’ve yet to jump a hurdle when it comes to in-game graphics. The game is so polished but there are still limitations when it comes to giving the characters natural movements, both in body and lips. So an NPC could be shouting “WOW THAT’S AMAZING!” but have a straight face jumping up and down, despite the fact that the character model is the most realistic we’ve created so far in a video game. I was looking back at in-game cutscenes of Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, and found it ironic that they can portray body movements so much better, but that’s the trade-off. Less graphics power to portray realistic bodies, but the graphics power can then be allocated to focus on natural movements. Nowadays, all the graphics power is focused on making things look good, but that hardly leaves room for making things move naturally.

Story:

After the overly-complicated plotline of Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XV feels like a breath of fresh air. On the surface, it’s a straightforward tale of a boy seeking to become a king after his father is brutally murdered by enemy forces. The bromance between the young king and his bodyguards is endearing. Each character feels distinct and genuinely makes you laugh. The setup sounds like prime real estate for an emotionally charged storyline.

Unfortunately, it falls apart somewhere around the last quarter. What should have been a strong and straightforward story turned into a rushed, hasty mess by the final act.

The story started SO strong, they practically had it in the bag, but then it became apparent that many important elements were glossed over - especially when it came to the main villain. I realized that some things required me to read between the lines, or even were only explained in character dossiers in the archive section of the menu. Supposedly, the movie Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV explains more, but do you really expect me to have to watch a separate movie to understand the actual game? The final quarter of the story feels like someone was trying to finish NaNoWriMo, realized they were running out of time, and quickly jumped from scene to scene to reach that 50k word goal. The ten-year time-skip is a joke. The final chapter is sorely disappointing.

The ending was appropriate though, and even beautiful. However, the overall story didn’t have the necessary emotional weight to really make me feel anything. I thought to myself, “I feel like I should be tearing up but instead I feel nothing.”. Even Final Fantasy XII, which lacked a romance, had me swelling up at the end. Final Fantasy XV didn’t make me swell up until literally the last few seconds of the post-credits scene.

People complained about the advertising (Coleman, Cup Noodles) but that didn’t bother me.

What does bother me is the lack of variety in the main cast, and in numerous ways. There were so many interesting side characters that didn’t receive much screen time, or use at all in the story. The strong focus on only the four male leads made it a sausagefest. I was craving more out of Aranea Highwind and Iris Amicitia. They are important but don’t get any screen time at all in the final chapter, nor do we ever hear from them ever again after the time-skip. Aranea Highwind was such a cool character, but once again ends up being wasted potential.

The main cast lacked distinctive styles. When I first saw the main cast, I had a hard time telling them apart. They looked like a k-pop band. Compare the main cast of Final Fantasy XV to literally any other Final Fantasy main cast and you can immediately spot the difference.

The four main leads do have distinct personalities, and I quite loved hearing their comments and banter. It felt realistic, but at times it became ridiculous. I rolled my eyes when Prompto would say things like, “Hashtag sorry not sorry.” That was a bit too on the nose, and came off as Square trying to pander to the current generation.

But what really rubbed me the wrong way is the incredible lack of non-white characters in the entire game. Lestallum feels so wrong to me as a Hispanic. Lestallum is supposed to be modeled after Havana, Cuba.

Its music, its buildings, its activities. It has a tropical climate, and yet every single denizen is pale white. Every. Single. One. I am not exaggerating. It feels so absolutely wrong walking around that city and not seeing anyone with the slightest shade of brown. This isn’t some uncalled-for SJW rant, it’s a simple fact. Tropical climates breed tanner skins. My brain naturally did a double-take when seeing the all-white population, saying, “Hmmm, something’s wrong here.”. For God’s sake, Final Fantasy XII, made over a decade earlier, did a better job at displaying the various nuances in skin tones, and that was on the PlayStation 2! Final Fantasy X, even older, seemed to properly portray tropical beach populations, inspired by the Philippines, with the character Wakka.

I noticed that they really took the time to incorporate elements from virtually every single Final Fantasy game. Aside from the crystals, the modern settings, and other obvious elements, four male leads are reminiscent of Final Fantasy III, the sinister chancellor hearkens back to Kefka from Final Fantasy VI, the enemy Yojimbo resembles Final Fantasy X’s version of Yojimbo, a certain boss battle reminded me of Cid Raines from Final Fantasy XIII.

Also, there’s Dino. Quite possibly the most annoying Final Fantasy NPC ever.

The overly obnoxious Italian stereotype made me want to punch his face, and also took me out of the experience of the fictional world. Every time you spoke with him he's all like "HEY HOW YOU DOIN WELCOME TO OLIVE GARDEN YOU TALKIN TO ME BADA BING BADA BOOM SPICY PIECE OF MEATBALL CAPISCE? AMIRITE??"

Square seemed to treat this game as a milestone in the series, alluding to everything the series ever did. It’s a shame that the story itself wasn’t quite up to snuff to be held in such regard.

Music:           

The game’s major lyrical song is copyrighted, which is a first for a Final Fantasy game. It makes sense why they chose the song “Stand by Me”, both in literal and figurative terms of the story.             

The score to this game is quite fantastic. The series has its first female composer, Yoko Shimomura. I have absolutely no complaints about the music. Nobuo Uematsu didn’t even pop into my head during the entire game. It’s the first time since Uematsu’s departure that I felt immersed in the score. The motifs are distinct and strong. The battle music is vibrant and an orchestral orgasm to listen to.    

Notable Theme:            

“Somnus”  

The main theme of the game. It plays right away in the main menu. I love how it is incorporated into the rest of the score, and my brain kept wanting to hear it to its completion.   

Direct Sequel?           

Nope. However, there is downloadable content that fills in the gap of events within the game. Supposedly, Final Fantasy XV is loosely connected to Final Fantasy XIII and Final Fantasy Type-O, all sharing common themes and possibly set in the same universe. You can also watch the prequel movie, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV.

Did it Live up to the Hype?           

Eh.           

Yes, and no.            

It was cool to play around, but the rest is a flaccid attempt at being a notable entry in the series “for fans and first-timers”, as the words proudly display every time you load the game. It’s not the worst in the series, but certainly not the best. It’s somewhere in the mid-to-low tier.

[porcelaine-whispers]

RED RUBIES OF AFFLICTION | PW

“What a familiar sight of a successful figure, Atty. Fuentes.” A sudden greeting from a woman in a wine-red dress, with jewelry that reflects its stones of red rubies. Her eyes sparkled. She had the sweet smile of an angel. In events like these, meeting familiar faces were no surprise. Her presence was comforting as if her greetings were anticipated. It made me feel safe.

‘Atty. Valentina Ally Fuentes; the only heir of Fuentes Pharmaceutical.’

Spoiled rich girl? Such a stereotype I refuse to be associated with. My mother is publicly recognized as Dra. Amelia Fuentes, the owner of Fuentes Pharmaceutical. As for my father, he is the company’s CLO, Atty. Christophe Fuentes. Our business is the fruit of my parents’ sacrifices. Having the title of being one of the leading pharmaceutical companies in the country, Fuentes Pharmaceutical continues to flourish. Knowing that our family business is a growing company still astounds me, but along with the wealth it brings is a deprivation that silently suffocates.

After passing the board exam five years ago, my father offered me a job to work under the company’s legal department. Years of working experience exposed me to the environment and exhaustion that comes with handling the company’s legal matters. There was no special treatment, for I am an employee of my parents and I wish to keep it professional in that manner. Having to work for my current title was an endless cycle of sleepless nights.

‘Atty. Valentina Ally Fuentes.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO)’

It is a title I have brought upon my name through perseverance. I have always wanted to be known for being Valentina Ally Fuentes and not only as of the daughter of my parents. With determination, I am with pride to say that I have successfully created a name for myself. I proved that I am more than just the heir of Fuentes Pharmaceuticals, that I deserve the company because of my hard work. I am to be remembered as Atty. Valentina Ally Fuentes, a lawyer, successor of the leading pharmaceutical company in the Philippines, and most importantly, a woman of her person.

Being an only child, I grew up in an environment too mature for my age. My parents were often preoccupied with the stress of managing the company. Being in the industry made it hard for them to provide time for me. I have always had a close bond with my mother. Although she used to be the CEO of Fuentes Pharmaceutical, I know how she would consistently check up on me and my state of coping with school. My energy is at its fullest when I am with my mother. She became the source of my motivation if ever I disappointed myself. Her voice gave me the peace that made me realize how valuable her presence is in my life. She is the comfort I will continue to long for.

“I apologize for my mother’s absence. On behalf of Dra. Fuentes, it was a pleasure catching up with you, Dr. Cabrera.”

I flew to Manila to assess the Fuentes Pharmaceutical Laboratory in Makati. My mother usually does the inspections of the laboratories; unfortunately, she is currently unavailable because of her emergency conference at Torres Medical Hospital. Upon arriving at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, I placed my carry-on baggage in the trunk of the car and had Ashton drive me to the laboratory. Ashton is the son of our maid, Agatha, but he is now residing here in Manila after getting married. Even before my existence, Agatha has been working for our family. She worked as the caretaker of my grandmother, but because of my grandmother’s passing, she now works to take care of us.

Our laboratory in Makati is our second biggest after the main laboratory in Mandaue. I met up with Dr. Cabrera, a member of the board of directors and a trusted family friend. He toured me around the offices and introduced me to the staff. I never really introduced myself to staff due to some being intimidated by my presence.

So far, the laboratories are exquisitely designed. All were accessible and had a system that made it easier to inspect, and at the same time keep order and cleanliness. Of course, cleanliness is a sector that I meticulously assess. We are a pharmaceutical company after all, how could we risk the lives of our consumers as well as our staff?

After completing the inspections, I had to immediately catch my flight home to Cebu. It was around 5:35 in the afternoon when I called Ashton to pick me up and drive me to the airport. During the car ride, I felt this fear and uncertainty. I started sweating and trembling, not knowing the reason for my abrupt shivers. I calmly looked out my window, diverting my attention to the towering buildings in the area. City lights remind me of the times I used to come home late with my mother since I would always insist on coming home with her after my student council meetings. If only I could go back to the days where I am in the comfort of my mother’s warmth. I instantly avoided the sight, trying so hard to forget the distinct memories instilled in my mind.

“Oh my god! If I walked to the airport, I would have probably arrived there by now. Is this a sign to stay the night?” I said in annoyance.

The traffic in Manila is dreadful. Imagine sitting in a vehicle for almost an hour, what a hassle. If only I could just spend the night in my condo at Rockwell Makati, which is only a few minutes away from the laboratory. Unfortunately, I do not have all the time in the world especially now that I have duties to attend to back in Cebu. Good thing my secretary, Mrs. Aphelion, booked a flight at 9:25 PM so I do not have to worry about missing my plane. What would I do if I miss my flight due to traffic? At last, we arrived at Ninoy Aquino International Airport before the expected boarding time. Ashton assisted me with the door whilst saying his goodbyes. I boarded the plane, tired from all the wandering I did the entire day.

Upon my arrival at Mactan International Airport, I went to the parking lot and decided to drive myself home. I was on my way home when a sudden buzzing came from my phone. I ignored the call because I was driving, and I did not want to kill someone with my awful driving skills. Driving is not something I would do often. I barely passed my driver's license test. What choice do I have now that I am driving on the road together with reckless drivers?

“Urgh! Who again is calling?!…” I answered the phone when it rang again at the stoplight. It was Emsie, one of our maids. She rarely calls me, why would she call me multiple times now? I was about to speak when I heard her voice of fear.

“Ally, you need to come home right now! Please...” She sounds muffled. Her voice was breaking as if she was restricted from breathing. I felt needles puncture my skin, anxious about the reason for her flowing emotions.

“Madam is—”

“Ally, your mother is—” The call ended.

My mother? Did something happen at the conference? My thoughts were jumbled. I started imagining things I should not be imagining. My mind was too occupied with the thought of what had happened to my mother. From there, I knew it was something serious. I said how driving was never my expertise; but with shock, I drove fast and even forgot to breathe.

As I arrived home, the guards opened the gates with panic seen in their gestures. I ran inside as fast as I was capable of, not even caring about the glass sculpture I broke while rushing to find my father. The staff were in tears, I was confused. They pointed in the direction of the study. When I barged into the room, I saw a group of men talking to my father. They have dressed in navy blue uniforms with one holding a folder; they were policemen. My father’s eyes shifted and met with mine when he saw me, panting from all the running. I could not comprehend what was happening in front of me. I love my mother so much that I did not even bother to ask about what happened; instead, I screamed in pain asking where she is.

“Where is my mother?! Where is she?! I want to see her now...” My vision became blurry, tears filled my eyes. I was trembling, my body felt pain in the numbness; I was paralyzed. I could hardly stand properly when the policeman holding the folder turned to me. He looked disappointed.

“I am sorry for what happened, Attorney Fuentes. Three men have been suspected of the incident; it was an ambush. Dra. Fuentes was shot multiple times, hitting her neck and chest. I am sorry Atty., but Doctor Fuentes died at the scene due to excessive blood loss...”

They handed over a clear plastic bag. It was a set of jewelry with shining red rubies.

My mother’s signature set.

She believed that rubies are stones that can bring happiness and passion into the life of the wearer. Thus, her signature stone being ruby. I remember clearly how she would get ready in her vanity, with a smile on her face as she puts on her earring of shining red rubies. Ruby is a stone believed to protect the wearer from negative entities that leach positive energy, promoting spiritual vitality and wellness overall. My mother is an optimistic spirit. Her words are gentle and comforting; yet what am I now that those words of comfort could never be heard in the same voice ever again?

I collapsed, closing my eyes as a flood of tears gushed down my ashen cheeks.

My mother...is gone. I could never hear her voice, see her smile, and feel her warmth again. All was so sudden that I did not have the chance to say what I wanted to say to her. I felt a pang of guilt in me, it was like she died without knowing how much I loved her. Just like a nightmare, this is the horror that never wanted to happen in my life, yet it did. So many questions came to mind; my thoughts are distorted.

I felt a sharp sting in my chest, a puncture in my stomach, and a bullet through my head. I was in suffering.

“Ally be careful with your dosage! Are you even aware of the amount you intake?!” Hearing the voice of my father, I gradually opened my eyes. I look over to see my psychiatrist checking the bottle of pills. Was it all a vivid flashback?

I then realized how my thoughts took over my body. Driving home and seeing flashing city lights triggered the memories of my mother to flood my mind with thoughts of her tragic death. I felt tightness in my throat, rapid palpitations in my chest. I reached for my medication, unaware of the amount I am taking, hoping that it could relieve the choking sensation that silently suffocated me. With the sound of aggressive honking, I drove drained of strength and energy. Arriving home, my body began to respond to the side effects that came with my medication; It led to my slumber.

After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, Dr. Torres prescribed me pills to cope with my sudden anxiety attacks. The death of my mother scarred me. My mother died in an ambush when I was 15 years old, almost 20 years ago. I am now 35 years old, a lawyer, a CEO, and a woman determined to grow my mother’s legacy. I know how sentimental the company is to my mother, so I continue to work hard to make what she started to flourish into a company she sacrificed for.

‘A goal without a plan is not a goal, it is only a dream.

- Dra. Amelia Fuentes.’

When she died, I saw how she still looked glowing. Although she died blood-soaked in a silk dress, her beauty was radiant. My mother is the woman that ensured to raise me with passion in all my works. She has left me with the knowledge that made me grow into the woman I am today. Her wisdom will forever remain with me; the most valuable gift she has ever given.

Even after 20 years, it still haunts me, yet I decide to focus on the path ahead of me, instead of longing for the past that I could never bring back. I may not be able to go back to the days we spent as a complete family, but I gradually accepted that my mother is now home in the heavens. Her presence is something I have been longing for ever since she left. I would even hallucinate seeing her in events, imagining her voice of greetings, her smile of an angel, and her gentle touch.

She is now an angel that continues to protect my father and me from this selfish world. I may not feel her warmth anymore, but I feel her presence.

"My mother will forever be the source of my tranquility.

She will forever be my angel."

-----

[Porcelaine Whispers]

[babyjiminiexx]

Angel On Fire (Chapter 1)

Sinopsis/Chapter 1/ Chapter ?

Demon!andBisexual!Jimin X Demon!reader (Mention of the other members)

When you fell in love with him you had never thought you would get caught and pay for it. But here you are now, body fuming with hate and ready to sow the pain with every step you take.

————-

Warnings: mention of sex, swearing and mature language, mature topics... 

Author's Note: i just wanted to say a quick thank you to every single one of you for sharing and leaving kind messages about AOF!! i didn’t expect any of this and i am SO GLAD!! that you’re liking the idea and the direction it’s taking!!  💖

Also, this is kind of a chapter 0, it’s to put in situation so i’m sorry if this doesn’t have the drama y’all were expecting, i want to slowly build it and put my readers in situation so this can last as long as i can write about it and so you can really get that conection that i wish i can give you!! but anyways, i hope you’ll like this and again, thank you so so much, i’ll try to do a proper post about this!!  💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖

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"Wow... That was... Like... WOW!", you couldn't help but laugh at the comment, "Seriously! It was the best sex I've ever had!"

You get up from the bed that was now witness of the many sins you had committed during the night and turned your head to the young boy that was laying on his back, still naked.

"Why are you so surprised?", you ask while lightning up a cigarette.

"I-I don't know! No woman has ever done the things you did to me!", he said, still trying to recover his breath, "Don't be so dramatic", you laugh.

Slowly, you make your way back to the bed, leaning your body over his and caressing his cheek, "You're actually cute, do you know that?"

"Did you came?", the boy asks. Of course you didn't. "It was great", you say placing a peck on his lips.

Humans... Specially men, always trying to do their best, but still failing at it, how sad... But what counts is the intention, they say. He was just a boy in his early 20s, you found him alone trying to get your attention at the bar a few hours earlier. It was cute how much effort he would put in his actions to see if you would notice him, and the way his blood made a single turn all over his body when you finally approached him was even cuter. You needed a distraction, again. It wasn't that hard to get one anyways. As a demon, you could make any woman or man fall for you whenever you wanted to, and you soon found that eternity could feel pretty lonely, so that came in handy. At first you weren't really down for that idea; your Master insisted that a few of his disciples showed you that being on the otherside of Heaven wasn't that boring after all.

When in the Land of Gods, any contact with the human world was totally forbidden; in the Netherworld... Boy that was a different story...

Demons found fun in playing with the human race, distantly or near them. They were so innocent, so ignorant, so... human, that living amongst them turned into your favorite pastime.

And this boy was a pretty good pastime.

"Can you stay the night?", the boy asked you with puppy eyes. Again, he's so damn cute.

"No baby, I have grown ups things to do..."

"Now? It's 4AM! Don't you ever sleep?"

"Darling, the Devil never sleeps", and with that, you got out of the apartment, going straight to yours.

Forgetting about why you were out in the streets at this time, you actually enjoyed late night walks like these. The silence. It was really nice when you spent your whole day in between noises of cars, people complaining and others. You could use this silence admire things that simple humans couldn't see, and it was beautiful.

You weren't that far away from your apartment, on your way there you just crossed the path of a drunk homeless man that kept ranting about not having wine anymore, so you being you, you gave the poor man a few gallons of it, just so he could have a little more fun out there. He was too drunk to notice how you managed to make appear the wine anyways.

Not even a second in your home, you start to feel strange. Not strange in a bad way, but surprisingly good; everything was feeling so peaceful, maybe too peaceful, way too good to be real. That strange feeling had been following you all day, you couldn't perceive what it was, but you knew it was there. A warm and peaceful feeling. You double checked your apartment, not really sure about what you hoped to find...

"So, Paris, huh?", you sigh in relief and smile at the sound of that familiar voice, "I can't say I expected to find you that far away"

"Jimin...", you left your coat on the kitchen counter and went straight to give the blond boy a hug, "Feels good to see you..."

"How long was it? 18? 19 years? Let me see you...", he took your hands and made you turn around, "2020 looks amazing on you, glad you abandoned these thin eyebrows and cowboy boots from the 2000s", he laughed.

"Come on, full denim boy, you thought you were the top in the 2000s!"

"And I sure was..."

It was good to see him again, you didn't actually realize how much you were missing Jimin until now. He was the first person to not look at you like he was about to eat you raw when you fell into the Netherworld. And he was one of the firsts to show you all the pleasures of that world too, every pleasure. You can say that all you are today is thanks to him; he was your best friend, and that explained the feeling that accompanied you the whole day.

"So, what did I miss?", he asks you while taking a bottle of red wine from your shelf.

"Nothing much...", you sigh, "the usual, I'm always here and there, trying to get fun from now and then..."

"I saw that...", he said with a smirk. You obviously knew he was there, he would never miss seeing you in these kinds of situations, you even thought you had seen him smiling at you in the corner of the dark room of the boy's apartment. You chuckle at that thought. "The boy was very handsome, very very handsome... A pity he wasn't that good..."

"What can you ask from humans?", you laugh, clinking your glass now half full of wine with his, "but i'm sure you're not here to tell me how much you like watching me get fucked by cute boys, am I wrong?"

He laughs slightly, "You're right..."

"So, what's wrong?", you could see his eyes darken at the question, which made you worry a little bit. Jimin wasn't the type to get upset or annoyed by things that easily.

"I'm worried about you, y/n... I’ve been watching you...", you didn't need further explanation.

" I don't know what you are talking about, Jimin", of course you knew.

"Y/n... Stop trying to find him... He's older than you, more powerful, more cunning... He knows you're looking for him, he has known for the past 373 years... Stop wasting your time like that..."

"If you came here just to tell me to stop you can go through that damn door and go back to where you come from. He has to pay", you said, starting to feel your body heating up in anger.

"I know you're still in pain, but it has turned into an obsession, and he will always be ahead of you..."

"I know that! I've been behind him for years!", you yell. "Jimin, baby... it's been 20 years, please can't you just forget about that for a moment and recover lost time?"

"I know...We just worry about you, we don't want to see you ruin your existence on Taehyung...", he says warmly taking your hand in his.

"Jimin, I love you, you know that, right?", he nods, "So please, understand that I cannot stop, because what you can't understand and will never feel is the pain that I've been enduring for the past 400 years, it's more than physical pain, it's more than my scars. It's my whole self burning alive from the inside every damn day."

"I know... I just want to let you know that I care about you, and even though Taehyung is who he is, I understand, and I won't stop you... Just take it easy, for you. How long have you not enjoyed things?"

"Well, twenty minutes ago actually...", Jimin sighs and laughs,"I'm not talking about that kind of enjoyment"

You knew how worried he was, and you understood it. Him and the rest of the boys back home had seen you cry tears of blood and experiencing madness at its pure form for months after you fell into the Netherworld. You remember seeing Taehyung in your dreams and waking up screaming and debating yourself so hard that Yoongi and Namjoon had to go to your room and try to calm you down by force. These two... You also spent all these months hating them for that, for using force on you, for tying you to your bed and immobilizing you for hours. But when you finally accepted everything, the situation and your current life, you found yourself apologizing to them for making them go through a few rough months. At the end of the day, they had no other choices than trying to quiet you down, otherwise the Master himself would have taken care of you, and that wouldn't have been a pretty thing to see... Tortures in the Netherwolrd were never pretty...

You never understood why amongst all the demons, these men were the only ones that showed interest and care for you; the others would just stare at you like their future meal, or try to sneak out behind you, just for the fun of tormenting you. But soon enough, your friends showed you how to handle things, and most importantly, they showed you how to be aware of your own power, your own capabilities, which came in really handy as for the Netherworld as for the human world.

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You don't know how long you've been talking to Jimin now, it just feels right. You missed him so much and now him being here with you is the most amazing feeling ever.

"Are you going to leave?", you ask, sadness suddenly invading your body.

"Probably..."

"Where are you going to go this time?"

"Well", he sighs, "I have some place I want to visit, people I want to meet, you know, the usual... I don't really want to be bothered by unfortunate visits by the others so I was thinking about Madrid... or the Philippines... or even Hawaii..."

"These are... three completely opposite places", you laugh.

"Yeah... I would like to try my luck there though, remember I have all the time I want to discover and rediscover the world, just like I’ve been doing”

“I guess you always have new people to meet and new things to see... Crazy how the world can change in a few hundred years...”, sometimes you found yourself remembering how the world used to be like. How different and great it was, even though each era had its difficulties and wars, or even pandemics, each one had its charm... You kind of missed some of these eras.

You and Jimin stayed looking at each other for a while, in silence. You don't want him to leave and you know he doesn't want to leave either, but you know he has to. It's sad though, now that your best friend found you after almost 20 years, for him to leave like that... You hoped he would stay a few more days at least, but you also understand why he wants to leave so fast. No one wants to stay in the same place for too long.

“I’ve missed you, you know?”

“I know”, Jimin answers, taking your hand in his, “but I you know I’ve never liked this frenchie style of life...”

You both laugh looking at your apartment. It was indeed the most cliché apartment in the most cliché place on Earth. It was nice though.

“Just... Be careful... Don’t do anything stupid, okay?”, you ask.

“When did I stopped making stupid things?”

“That’s true...”, you laugh. At the end of the day, you guys were still demons; any thing you did didn’t matter, at least while you don’t piss the Master off, that would be the end of you. “Will you stay here for the day at least?”, without realising it, you suddenly turned into the cute boy you left alone in his room earlier this night, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought. 

“I guess I can... What about a tour of this beautiful and not full of piss at all city?”, he proposed, to which you accepted right away.

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was actually a great day. You and Jimin had been outside all day and it turned surprisingly well, or maybe it was the fact that you were finally reunited with your best friend that made everything look fine. 

“I think I know this guy...”, Jimin suddenly said while looking at a painting in one of the many halls of the Louvre.

“Oh, come on! How can you know this random dude on a 250 years old painting?”; you laugh.

“Laugh all you want, darling. I think this guy died from the Plague and is still now to this day running naked through the Master’s mansion”

“You’re fucking playing with me! I’ve never seen this guy!”

“No, I swear! I took him infront of the Master and he went completely mad!”

You continued your walk through the museum while laughing and, even though it sounded crazy, talking about the people in the painting, actually recognizing a few of them. It was a random though that crossed your mind, but it was really crazy yet amazing how you knew at least half of these people, painters and painted, and humans had no idea.

“I tell you, if anyone knew that Van Gogh was busy doing lines with Pablo Escobar in Hell, they would be surprised!”, you say thinking about it.

You kept talking and walking with Jimin until noon, not seeing the time pass. You finished you visit in the museum, took an Uber and went straight to the Eiffel Tour park, since Jimin had insisted to go there to see how the Tour would light up just after eight o’clock, even though he had seen it in the past.

You would always get surprised by the amount of tourists that would be there for the same thing, fortunately, you found a free spot. Both of you sat there and just like that, Jimin took out a bottle of wine for you.

“I’ll start thinking you have an alcohol problem...”

“Yeah, probably, but who cares?”, he laughed before opening the bottle like a pro, “honors to the ladies...”

You took a sip of the red wine, suprised by the taste. It was different, you weren’t a wine expert but you could tell it was an expensive one.

“Why do you look at me like that? If we’re going to get drunk at the feet of the Eiffel Tour, at least let’s do it with luxury...”, the dark haired boy took the bottle.

“Do you know anything about the others?”; you ask after a few minutes admiring the view.

Jimin took a deep breath and started looking through his memories, “Well, I don’t really know much. I haven’t seen them in a few years now...”

“Same... Last time I saw Jin was at an ABBA concert... 1982 I believe...”

“Ah... ABBA 1982 in Wembley Arena... What an epic concert...”

“Surely was...”, you chuckled, “But yeah, that was the last time... From what he told me Hoseok had apparently left for India in 1974 and never appeared again, so I assume he stayed there for a while, and maybe he’s still there; Jungkook was permanently staying in the United States, he got there in 1953 after touring through Europe; Namjoon, strangely, ended up being present for the sinking of the Titanic in 1912, thing that I am strangely not surprised about, he obviously survived to it and directly went to America; and Yoongi, no one knew about him, everybody started losing his tracks around 1834 when he sailed for an unknown destination...”

“Well... I can tell you that Jungkook and Namjoon are indeed still in America, from what I know Jungkook is kind of a famous social media influencer or something like that... Namjoon is currently working in a big advertising company... And for the rest, I know Jin is now in Japan, but I’m not really sure why though; and for Hoseok and Yoongi, no idea... I last saw them together in 1998 I think, they apparently missed me and wanted to grab some coffee all three of us and talk about the past, and them they just vanished again”

You were not really surprised to hear that, Hoseok and Yoongi had always been the most secretive ones when it came to their private life in the human world. They showed you and educated you a LOT too, but never went too far into explanations or anything. Obviously you loved them so much too, but you weren’t surprised at all about what Jimin just said.

“I guess Jungkook and Namjoon would be the easiest ones to get in touch with then...”

“Yeah. If you want to see them or call them you know they would always answer”

After a minute of thinking, you kind of felt bad about not really knowing anything about your friends, and it felt even worse that another friend had to update you. You knew how they were, you knew that seeing the circumstances of literally everything, everyone would have went their way. But it felt weird, you guys were so close once and now everybody was separated, ad two of them were basically missing.

“Don’t think about it too much, I can see smoke going out of your ears”, Jimin’s voice took you out of your own head, “You know they still love you”

“I know”, you sigh, “It’s just that I feel bad about not being there for them or not knowing about them...”

“Y/n... We’re fucking demons, and we’re way older than you, don’t you think we couldn’t sneak out and literally just spy on you whenever we want to?”

That... was actually true. 

You never really realized that, because you couldn’t really use that power, so you just forgot about it. But if Jimin could appear just like that in a random room while you were having fun with someone, without making a noise, you supposed any of them could.

“Why spy on me when you can knock on my door and take me out or something?”, you asked; for you it was obvious, it wouldn’t make sense to spy on someone or take care of them in the distance or make random objects in their rooms to manifest their presence, like they did in the past. 

“You know how they are, they’re enjoying their stay here, they’re just doing their thing, just they want to make sure you’re okay without intervining in your life just like that”

“I guess... I miss them though...”

And it was true, you missed them more than anything. 

“Stop being sad and get up”; your friend said after a few moments of silence.

“What? Why?”

“We’re going to get fun”, he extended his hand and you didn’t even had time to think, you just took it and followed him to the nearest metro.

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You could feel yourself float to the sound of J Balvin’s voice. The discotheque was full of people and you were having the time of your life; way funnier than you going hunting alone...

Jimin and you had your eyes on a group of boys for a while now, and you were playing with them in the distance, teasing them. You obviously knew all of this was a show, because you both had them in your pocket since the first moment you entered the party, but like a lion with a gazelle, you liked watching your prey from far and play with them a little bit.

It didn’t need much for you to be stamped against the wall of the small bathroom by one of the boys with your dress up your ass. You assumed Jimin was having his fun with one of them too, so you didn’t worry too much about him, you just let yourself flow. The guy was handsome, just like the perfect mix between a young Johnny Depp and Keanu Reeves, exactly your type. And fortunately, you could see he knew what he was doing... But bad luck to you, I didn’t last as long as you wanted.

You adjust your dress, leave a last kiss on the Johnny Depp guy and leave the bathroom, looking for your friend. He apparently finished earlier than you because he was already half done with his drink.

“So?”, he ask.

“Well, let’s say I had my fun... What about you?”

“Nice guy...”, he smirks, “Come on, it’s getting late”

You could understand how what you guys were doing with people was not exactly THE THING to do for humans, they had more morals than you when it came to that, and during your life you had had bunches of arguments with passenger friends about that, but that’s just how things are. You know who you are, you know the power you have, you don’t care, that’s it, end of the conversation. 

It was nearly 4.30AM when you got out of the discotheque, the streets being full of drunk people either puking or singing with their friends. 

“Y/n...”, your friend called you; you didn’t realized he stayed behind you, “I have to go now...”

“Already?”, you fake cry.

“Hawaii is not the nearest place from here, you know?”

“So you’re going for Hawaii then?”

“Yeah I think so... You know you can always come visit me...”, he pulled you for a tight hug. 

You knew it wasn’t really a goodbye, it was more like a “see you soon”, but you couldn’t help feel horribly sad, and you hated that feeling. The only ones capable of making you feel what you call “human emotions” were your six friends. And you hated them for that.

“Thank you for today though, I had the best day I’ve ever had in a long time”, you smiled against his chest.

“Same for me... I’ll miss you... But seriously, come visit, I won’t be able to not see my best friend for another 20 years, I’ll go mad before that”

He laughs and when he starts pulling his body away from yours, you know it’s the goodbye. 

“I love you, okay?”, he says. “I know, I love you too...”

And before crossing the street and disappearing behind a building, he gave you a last passionate kiss that left you hungry for more. It was your ritual, a last goodbye kiss that meant that you’d see him again.

Yes, Jimin was your best friend, but you couldn’t deny the numerous feelings between you two, just like with the other five. But you just couldn’t let them flow. It’s not that you didn’t want to, it’s just how things are. One of the punishments of the Netherworld were to not being able to properly love someone. You felt love for Jimin, of course you did, but not the love you WANTED to. It was a big difference, what you wanted to do and what your body was able to do. And while you felt bad about it in the past, you have it like it’s the most normal thing in the world now; but still, you couldn’t stand the image of Jimin leaving you.

MASTERLIST 

[toomanysurveys9]

Who was the last person you took a photo with? Was it self-taken? wyatt and no it was not. jade took it over the weekend on snapchat while we were playing mario party at her grandma’s.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? i took a few years of french in high school, and a semester of it in college. i also took a semester of spanish in college. i guess it didn’t go super great since there is a lot i’ve forgot. haha. i just never use any of it.

So, what are your plans for the near future (a year)? having ellie, and then taking care of her and wyatt. hopefully paying bethel so i can get a job in my field and help out some with bills and whatnot. other than that, i have no clue.

Do you prefer questions about trivial things, or more deep and meaningful? a mix of both for sure.

What can you hear right now? Tell me even the tiniest things. i hear the kiddos playing, me typing, and the stroller wheels squeaking. also dog breathing, and occasionally grandma laughs at the kiddos.

Where did you last ride in a car to and why? uhm. i think it was when i went to the store and then home for groceries on sunday night.

Tell me about a person that comes to your head whose name starts with M. my great-aunt mary... she is my grandma’s older sister, and she owns a house in the country that her husband built many, many years ago. she has a lot of land with ponds and tons of gardens, although she’s not able to care for it all like she used to. our relationship has always been rocky (she always preferred my siblings over me), and continues to go up and down a lot. she said that what christian did to me was my fault because i wore spaghetti strap shirts as a nine year old girl, and i never should have told anyone what he did (i found out a few years ago that her husband molested my aunt crystal - i’m not sure who all knew, if anyone, so i’m curious if she knew and just never said anything - they didn’t share bedrooms as long as i could remember). currently our relationship is on the okay side. i try to let a lot of things go because she’s old and she won’t be around forever. and against my better judgement, i do love her. i know she also loves us on some level too. she loves wyatt and she made him a blanket, and i’m pretty sure she is making one for ellie as well. she was never able to have kids, and i know that has always broken her heart.

Do you drink alcohol? How often? i haven’t drank alcohol in a very, very long time.

Do you have any bills that need to be paid right now? soon. they are not due right this second though.

Can you rap freestyle? Or at least sing raps from songs? i can not rap freestyle, and can barely sing raps from songs if we’re honest. haha. rap is not my favorite though.

Do you know anyone from the Philippines? no one comes to mind.

What was the last type of soup you ate? homemade beef and noodles that jade made this past weekend. Are you more logical or creative, or maybe somewhere in between? i feel like i am more logical than creative. on rare occasions, i can be more on the creative side though. i wish i was able to do that more often. being too logical seems to ruin some things for me pretty often.

Do you use bar soap or gel soap? gel soap with a rag. i hate bar soap.

When was the last time you had brunch? saturday when we took grandma out for breakfast.

Does your bedroom door have a lock on it? Do you have to use it? it does and i do not really use it. although i may start if people don’t start learning to knock on the damn door when i’m in there. especially when i’m trying to get wy to sleep or he is sleeping.

How many times a year do you travel away from home? usually at least once a year we go on a little mini vacation away from our city.

Do you like your job? Why or why not? i am a stay at home mom and i absolutely love it. i would do it forever if i could. but it will be nice to be able to say i’m helping pay the bills, and getting things for the kiddos that i want to get without worrying about having to ask jacob’s permission.

How about your boss? What’s your boss like? i guess you could say jacob and the kiddos are my bosses. haha. jacob is like the head boss, and then kiddos are the managers. i love them all so much. :)

Do you have a credit card? Do you rely on it? i have a couple. i do not rely on them though. one i got to help my parents be able to get buffy the care she needed at the emergency vet, and the other is a hot topic one i used for christmas last year.

Are you bitter about anything at the moment? Tell me about it. not at the moment. last night i felt slightly bitter towards jacob because he gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants and never has to worry about another person.

Who was the last person you saw a movie at the cinema with? Who paid? i went and saw venom this past sunday with jon, jade, and jacob. jacob paid for our tickets.

Do you message friends and family on Facebook regularly? not regularly, no. basically only if i need to talk to someone and can’t text them due to signal (like if i’m at the store).

Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? yeah... jacob has been living with us since soon after he turned eighteen, and we just bought a house a little over three months ago. :)

When was the last time you did laundry? last night.

Do you still have a landline phone in your home? we do, mostly for my grandparents sake.

How are you feeling today? Happy, sad, or anything else? i am feeling pretty good today, to be honest. wyatt and i went for a walk to get lunch (and get out of the house) and he’s mostly been in such a good mood, it’s hard not to be happy.

If you smoke, what’s your brand of choice?

i do not smoke.

Have you ever built a snowman? yeah. not very good ones, but yes. haha.

Does it even snow where you live? it does.

If you had to volunteer for a week, where would you like to volunteer? an animal shelter probably. i enjoyed it in college.

Who was the last person that made you upset? What did they do? lilli took a toy from wyatt that she knew he didn’t want her messing with.

Do you have a crush on anyone? Tell me about them.

it’s a lot more than a crush. but we have been together over ten years. married over two. and we will be welcoming our second baby to the world soon. he works as a tire technician, but he wanted to get into collision repair in high school. he went to career center for it for a year and did really well, but his mom wasn’t all that supportive of him continuing schooling for it after high school unfortunately. he enjoys watching videos on his phone, playing basketball, guns, fishing, video games, and drinking. he has dark brown hair and brown eyes, and a sweet smile. he can be sweet when he wants to be but most of the time he’s an asshole and he owns it. -insert eye roll-

Have you ever had something signed by someone famous? What and who? a cd by nicole c. mullen.

What was the last thing you said aloud? i asked wy if he was really done eating dinner. he barely touched it...

[sanshynapa-blog]

BEST OF TWENTY SEVENTEEN

New Year is already approaching us but before we say goodbye to year 2017, let me first share the highlights of my year. It’s been a great year so there’s a lot of things I really want to include, but since I need to finish this before ‘putukan’, I’ll try to make it short as possible. Let’s start!

1.      WEIGHT LOSS PLAN

Well actually, it was started on year 2016, December 5 to be exact, when I first realized that I’m getting too fat and extra large-sized shirts does not fit on me anymore, and when I weighed myself, gosh I thought I was weighing two sacks of rice, I guess I’m more heavy than that because I’m 1003 kilograms and I felt like, “What the hell you’re doing to yourself duday?”, “do you even call it a body?”. Since then, I decided to lose some weight, at first I just want to make those extra large-sized shirts fits on me again, but eventually I fell in love to what I am doing so I continue and take it seriously. It’s holiday season when I tried to exercise and control my food, but Christmas parties are everywhere, though I found it hard to maintain, when January comes, I really put my soul and heart doing my weight loss plan.

I set a routine for my diet - I made a fitness journal so that I can track down my weight and the calories I am taking in. Way back my high school days, I also attempted to lose weight, I even joined in a drum and lyre band, well obviously, I lose weight but when I entered college, I gained my weights back again. So to make it work this time, I did some research on how to create a healthy routine for losing weight.

First, I checked the current status of my body – my weight is 103 kilograms and my height is 154 centimeters and determine my body mass index or BMI which I believed that I am on obese category. Second, I wrote my target weight which is 57 kilograms because it is the normal weight for ages 18-20 years old. Then, I made an exercise routine, since I’m too heavy, I begun with cardio exercises, it’s an activity where you will be able to move all your body while controlling your breathe – it includes running, cycling and jumping. I also did zumba dance, in this area, you can enjoy grooving around while reducing your body fats, other might think that it’s not actually helps you to lose weight, where as in reality, it really does, you just need to move harder, and of course, eat moderately. After putting up my exercise routine, I worked out with my diet plan. Honestly, it was the hardest part of my weight loss plan because I’m such a picky eater, every time I searched for healthy and balanced diet, I always ended up skipping to it because I don’t eat vegetables and other foods that uses catsup and mayonnaise as sauce, that’s why I decided to make my own diet meal. White rice, breads and pasta are the major supplier of calories in our body so I removed them to my checklist, followed by sweets such as pastries, candies and chocolates except dark chocolates, it actually helps our brain to process when it’s almost dry and of course, to satisfy our cravings as well. I also omitted junk foods and soft drinks, it’s really not hard to stay away from these foods, but when I’m tired or stress, I always want to eat rice and sweets, sometimes I ignored it but most of the time, I entertained temptations, well that’s life, you should break rules from time to time.

On other hand, during weekdays, or even weekends if I’m on a good mood, I made sure that I am focus on my routine. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, and do my rituals – drinking cold water, grooming myself, getting my android mobile ready, and start my exercise with walking in our garage for 60 – 70 minutes. Then, I will have my breakfast – oatmeal and banana with coffee, sometimes boiled eggs and fried banana with coffee. For my lunch, I eat wheat bread partner with anything that my grandmother cooked for us, same goes for my dinner. If I don’t have classes, I work out between breakfast and lunch for one and half to two hours, and at least one hour during afternoon. I still make sure to do some exercises if I have classes before going to sleep like squat, jumping jacks and stretching. This is my weight loss routine for four months and I lose 26 kilograms from my starting weight.

For me, losing weight is just an easy task, controlling what you are eating and moving your body around, I really enjoyed doing my weight loss plan, checking your weight weekly and witness how it is actually reducing, and also, throwing away double extra large-sized and extra large-sized shirt makes me feel good, it’s like all my hardship and effort was paid off.

Another important thing that comes out on my research, it only takes 3 – 4 months to keep your excitement after that, it depends on the situation, it said that you should find an exercise buddy or a diet partner for you to keep motivated and to continue and maintain what you have started. At first, I did not believed on that but I started to feel tired every time I do my work outs, I started to omit exercises from my routine little by little until I do not do any exercise anymore. Month of May when I stopped losing weight, that time I already weighed 75 kilograms and  I’m between medium-sized and large-sized. Due to my strict weight loss plan, it’s not easy to go back to my old habits so I still managed to control my eating habits.

Last week of August when my friend told me that I am gaining weights again, and to avoid those kind of talks, I started doing exercises again and did it for one and half month. My weight dropped to 67 kilograms and my waist was around 32 – 33 centimeters, of course I’m so proud of myself, but for the second time, I cannot maintain to keep on track on my weight loss plan, aside from no one is willing to join me on my exercises, I am also stress because of my school works particularly on my thesis, since my partner was the over-all organizer for our 17th Journalism seminar and I was the head of technical committee, we cannot focus on our thesis and other subjects, we are too concentrated to our seminar because our seminar itself is already full of stress, so to get rid of those stress, we eat and eat and eat. Well, I’m very much aware that I’m starting to get huge again, but my motto is “Until large-sized shirts suits on me, I’m still doing well”. Unfortunately, my friend and I went to ukay-ukay yesterday to buy clothes for New Year’s Eve, and there’s a jeans that caught my attention, I put it on and it’s fitted on me but not to the point that I can breathe comfortably, my stomach was also stacked, I can’t even sit down or bend down, but I really love that jean so I still bought it. Another thing, there’s an outfit I want to wear when start my internship but I can’t even raised my hand when I wore it, and since I want to work on magazine company, for the third time, I want to lose weight again. Today is December 28, and as of now I still not able to scale myself due to our weighing scale is broken, but I guess I gained 10-15 kilograms, and right now, I already went back to my old weight loss plan, I just hope that before April, our graduation pictorial, I can lose weight and wear Sailor Moon’s outfit for our creative shot, well that’s my classmates wish but probably, I just want to have a photo of myself without bulky legs, huge shoulders, double chin and stomach, I guess that’s the best creative shot I could think of and show off. From a girl who used to be fat turns to a woman who can bring herself confidently.

2.      DREAMS DO COME TRUE

I finally had my own space on our newspaper. April this year when our professor told us to produce a newspaper featuring Cavite, probably for a student whose taking up Journalism, it’s just a normal scenario, well it was, but for me, it was somehow special. Newspaper writing was by group and all of us in our group have to submit at least on news article. I’m doing fine until my group mates gave me the feature section who will leads the designs and content for that space, but of course with the participation of my group mates. We decided to features the tourist destinations, culture and foods in every municipalities of Cavite, from Bacoor City to Maragondon, we researched every information we could from internet and it turned out good with the editing skills of my classmate, Luke. While looking on our newspaper and reading my name on by line, I felt like my writing skills is finally improving, or rather, I’m finally learning and applying the art of writing in my life. It might sound exaggerated, for me it also does but I’m still overwhelmed because I’m starting to embrace the path where my life leads me and the journey that I decided to walk on when I accepted the fact that sometimes dreams are not meant to happened, including mine. It just an act to keep motivated and inspired to continue living your life. To digest what I am talking about, I give you a brief history way back before I entered college.

Third year high school, when I decided what course I really want to take in my college – Multimedia.  I want to learn cinematography and video editing, I want to learn how to make films, dramas, and commercials, I want to be a director, and for that dream of mine to come true, I should take Multimedia or at least Communication Arts. So when I was fourth year high school, I started looking for school that offers the course, but only few universities has the program – De La Salle University in Taft Avenue, Mapua University, Lyceum of the Philippines University in Manila, and Asian Pacific College. I crossed out DLSU from the beginning because I know that the tuition there is very expensive, so I applied for entrance examinations to the remaining universities. I first went to Mapua with my aunt and took up the exam. During the examination, there’s also a parent orientation, so we discovered that Mapua is actually quarter system meaning four semesters per year and it is very expensive to study there. Next, we went to Makati City where APC is located; I also took up the entrance exam and passed it. It looks fine and exciting to study there so I did not go back to LPU, I just waited for my high school graduation and enrollment for college. From September of 2013 up to last week of April 2014, all I thought is that I will be taking Multimedia for my college; I even brought my thing and moved to Bicutan City where my aunt is living to stay there during weekends so that I can save money for my transportation. Everything went well, until the last week of enrollment came, when my father dropped me to my aunt’s house and left after taking few drinks and had a short conversation with my uncle, I already knew that there’s something wrong but I wanted to keep thinking positively. The next day, I approached them if when will they enroll me because the day after that day will be the last day of acceptance of students in APC, but my aunt just walked me to their room and said that they cannot send me to any school due to financial problem, I will leave the rest of the story to the history, I thought everything was fine, so I never had a chance to think for alternative school and even a course but the Lord always have his way so I ended up taking Bachelor of Arts in major of Journalism in Cavite State University – Main Campus.

I want to write stories for films not a news story, I want to learn video lay-outing and editing not newspaper editing, I want to be a film staff, a script writer, a cinematographer, a director and not a news writer, a broadcaster, and anchor and most especially not a journalist. Journalism was nobody to my life, I believed that it is far away from my personality and interest, that it has nothing to do with me and to my future, not that day and not today, but what can I do, this is where my life leads me, I thought my college life would be boring but I guess I’m wrong, although I was not able to get the course I really like, it doesn’t mean that I cannot pursue the field I really love in the future, and that’s one of those lessons that I have learned for almost four year in CVSU.

Journalism is the closest course that my university is offering for me to enter film industry, so I took it. Through my years on college, I just realized that Journalism was really not for me, but during our mock interview last month as part of our final requirements, my professor asked me “What does Journalism has to make you like it?” I wanted to say “nothing” but at the back of my mind it says that it has. Journalism used to be a key to lighten me up that my course would not predict what kind of future is waiting for me, it make me realized that dreams will not just stop as dreams, no matter how hard we are going through, as long as we are determine to reach those dreams, in the right time with our Creator’s presence, that dream will happen. Journalism might not belong to my vocabulary before, but it is the one that helped me to get closer to the profession that I am really love – and that is to write and to capture. We cannot stack ourselves to the past, we need to find ways to move on and look forward to those things that waiting for us. Dream is another term for inspiration and today is what makes our tomorrow looks like. Writing used to be a hindrance to reach my goals but now writing is the only way I know to make my dreams come true.

3. BLOG LAUNCHING

How stupid and funny it is to think that the reason why I got hooked with blogging is because I need to compile my works - journals, poems, photos and videos, in the most organize and creative way I can do to present as my portfolio together with my curriculum vitae for the application of my internship. I never imagined myself putting in words all that happened to my whole day or trips and taking a photos in a street to post it online where in the first place I'm too lazy to update my status and profile picture in my facebook and twitter account, but now, look at me, I'm upgrading myself into something classy yet reachable blogger, I felt like I'm finally grabbing the opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences to others. Honestly, for me, having a blog is not a usual thing, you can't just be an expert in writings or photography but you also have to be and adventurous and creative individual.

Adventure is waiting for you out there, you should have guts to explore the outside and discover the mysteries in the inside. You have to be adventurous enough to make your journal worth sharing. You can write your experience on doing things you have never done before, tasting foods that first time to taste, climbing those high and rocky mountains, swimming and exploring beautiful beaches, visiting the world's tourist destinations, and the most awaiting adventure that really deserves to put in a journal, is your life - what kind of journey you been through, what are the things people should know about you, and those lessons that you have learned and want to share to others, those journals are not just a display to our blog but it can be a source of motivation and inspiration to our readers. I will share to you my top three favorite bloggers: Arisse De Santos, Kathryn Bernardo and Sarah Lahbati, every time I visit their blog, I always feel excited to start writing my stories and dreamed on having my own blog someday.

Creativity is not just a skill, its passion. Being creative doesn’t define in how colorful you can color those trees and flowers in coloring book either how may straight line you can draw on a white plain paper without using a ruler, but it’s all about how to get people's attention to attract them read your blogs and convince them to believe the messages and lessons that those writing of yours are trying to imply. Well, only creative people who can think of those ways, you may take as a joke so I am telling you right now that it is not, well obviously, I just want to share to you guys that probably belong to group of people who has creative minds, I cannot make you read my blog if I’m not, unless you are my professor and I pass this as my assignment entitled “Best of 2017”.

Going back to what I am saying a while ago, you have to be creative to make your blog outstanding and unique from others. In every photos, videos, music, travel and journals you will share online, you also need think ideas on how to persuade people to read and recognize your works, don’t just post it because if it will be like that, you just like blowing a balloon with a hole or sweeping the floor while the electric fan is on. You have to gain readers, not likes and hearts, let the people get involve, let them hear your voice and read your thoughts. You’re not just sharing but also informing and that’s the biggest responsibility of a blogger, since they are very accessible, a tendency of numerous people can see their posts online is very high, and that is one of my reasons why I cannot do blogging.

Another reason that stops me to start my own blog is because it is very hard to maintain – putting all that you have done in your whole trip into words, debating inside your mind if you should write it in Filipino or in English, choosing at least 10 pictures to share online out of 300-500 photos, editing your videos from you camera, and posting it on time though no one is actually waiting for your post. Lastly, it is also hard to be creative and put efforts. You can’t even do better with your projects and assignments, but if you have a blog, it will takes the whole days just to decide what theme and wallpaper you are going to use and another day for finalizing your domain and what you going to write in “about me” section. Everything about blogging is very difficult for me, that’s why I never promised to myself to have one, but no one can ever predict what the future can be, look at me now, I’m finally writing for my own blog. I want to showcase all my works from writings to videos, even my travels and daily routine, but there’s one thing I cannot do - beauty tutorials. If I will be able to make it in the future, I guess that will be the time that the definition of beauty will change, rather, beauty itself is based on the fighting spirit of the one whose making it.

This are not the only thing that I am thanking for year 2017, it just happened that I cannot finish writing the background story for the other seven events that already on my list since I’m too busy because it is holiday season but I will still share the other highlights for this year.

4.  February 09, 2017: I celebrated my 19th birthday with my family.

5. April 4-8, 2017: I attended the 24th International Conference in Ilocos Norte together with my fellow youth and had a chance to travel before and after the conference.

6. August 7, 2017: I went to school as a graduating student. Well, for me it one of the highlights of this year because after surviving the three years of college, I’m finally a graduating student and next year will be the year of my life and let’s hope for the best.

7.  August 30, 2017: I celebrated my 2nd anniversary as Chapter Head in our church community, Youth for Christ, I am so blessed and happy to spend my time serving the Lord and witness how great His love for me despite all the challenges that I encountered and waiting for me.

8.  September 24, 2017: My grandmother celebrated her 78th birthday. Her birthday will be always a highlight of my life because it is the day that God created the woman I will love for the rest of my life and it will be the day I can show my greatest love and gratitude to her. I am always praying and hoping for more birthdays to come for my love, my Nanay.

9. November 16, 2017: We conducted our 17th Journalism Seminar, there’s no big deal about but since I was the head of Technical Committee, I think I still enjoyed the event.

10. December 10, 2017: My cousin and I went to Maniwaya Island for the first time had experienced beach camping with strangers but after some conversation used to be our friends and now chat mates.

These are the highlights of my year 2017, I am looking forward to what is waiting for me in year 2018.

[kateeyperry-blog]

Blog 1. The Girl With Nothing But A Heart

 #magandabelike

Hi! My name is Kate Olai D. Angngad. I was born on October 4, 1999. Now I’m 18 years old, currently living at San Julian Tabuk City, Kalinga Province. My favorite colors are pink, purple, and mint. The things that I’m inclined to do are watching movies, playing games, reading fictional books, visiting my apps, eating sweets, sleeping, going out for adventures with my friends and relatives. I appreciate those people who are kindhearted and generous person who are willing to help. I am inspired to those people who our successful on their careers. I’m lovable to people that loves me and supports me. I am grateful to have a complete and healthy family although were not perfect and the best family. I love helping others in a way I share the blessings I receive to others like unused clothes and foods/ alms to the needy. I’m miserable whenever I see unfortunate people who do not have shelter, food, and a family that makes me sad.

I’m actually a peculiar person that not everyone will be able to understand me like when I do jokes my Philippians classmates will laugh but other people don’t because they still don’t know me much so if you want to know me more just visit me in section Isaiah.

My goals in life are to be a successful accountant in a company, to get married and to have children, and be happy until my last breathe. So I see myself ten years from now that I’m already earning big amount of money, I’m already married, taking good care with my husband and my children every day, working as an accountant at one of richest company in the Philippines on weekdays, having fun with my Family on weekends and we travel on vacations, enjoying every minute of my life despite the problems we are going to encounter, and also taking good care of my father and doing charities. And I just want to share when I was a toddler i'm very energetic doing crazy things like posing wacky and funny picture and I don't even care if i'm beautiful or not but now I don't do those things I already act on my age. But still funny, young and reckless.

So I’ve chosen ABM for me to achieve my dream, to become an accountant because since I was young I always wanted to work on a company balancing the company’s money, I love when they talked about money, on the things we are going to use for that money, and what to spend the money so ABM is really the best choice for me to prepare for college taking up Accountancy, so studying at St. Paul University Philippines makes me a better person and let me realize the things that I need to learn and I was able to find good and real friends and also it help me to choose what is really I want so I have nothing to say on choosing SPUP because it worth it.

I’m already a grade 12 students so our subjects now are majors and I love it because I’m already smelling the scent of being an accountant and one of the subjects that really caught my attention is my Empowerment Technologies because we can do illusions like editing photos that will manipulate you so I want to learn more especially on how to hack accounts for me to hack the bank accounts of the corrupt politicians so I can build charities for the needy even if I will be a bad person at least I help the people who really needs it.

And to our teacher I would like to ask you why is it that the color of clouds are blue sir?

[thephenomenalkid]

A Year Review 2016

This was a real struggle that greatly challenged my academics, family’s financial matters, relationship with my friends and keeping up with myself. 

January

010316 – It was still our holiday break and second-sem was fast approaching. I asked Chu to come over to my place, and spent overnight. We looked like people who are positive in life and my face was like a siopao.

0101916 – We were just planning to get some barbeque sa kanto and I can’t remember how we ended up at Kuya J’s. Shookt at food prices plus 10% service charge. Haha we did not expect this to happen. Kuya J’s Restaurant is like a fine dining resto that serves pretty normal Filipino cuisine and charged it with very high prices that a typical Filipino family would not prefer it simply because it’s not worth it. Personally, I got so disappointed with the three small slices of lechong kawali in a big plate which costs almost equivalent to the price of twice as Jollibee’s C1.

013116 – As far as I can remember, my mom and I had a pic together at the Bencab Museum and to this garden. Haha Mama came to Baguio to assist my lipat-bahay action provoked by not-so-good-happenings that happened to me and my boardmates inside the apartment that I’m staying in. Our broken relationships with each other along with our unending misunderstandings made the house itself suffocating for me. I thought I needed to breathe and living in a new environment would be a good choice. It turned out, everyone that I intend to avoid moved out already before me. Everyone left the house, except Chu, Ate Donabel and me, until I finally have to transfer as well.

Living there made me sleep harder. The silence of the house was deafening. I cannot even focus on my studies, I dropped one of my subjects, I was not at my best self, I cannot even think straight. Every bad memory that I had there, every mistake that I made, every people that I hurt haunts me every time I try to get some sleep. If only we could turn back time. I would be good.

Unfortunately, my lipat-bahay-plan was not a success. After a month, realization struck me. I tried to pull myself together and went back again to the boarding house that I left. The silence of the house was still deafening. I was still disorganized but I am trying to find my equilibrium back. I am trying to build again everything that broke inside me. Starting afresh means starting to forgive myself and others. I hope that everyone that I hurt and every people who was involved in the misunderstanding that I started would find forgiveness, too. Most importantly, I hope we all remember our lessons.

February

030616 - Panagbenga Ending. I used to go to church and go to Burnham Park after to witness the fireworks display of the different institutions in Baguio City for the ending celebration of Panagbenga. Panagbenga is one hell of a season in Baguio, and if you are a resident here, you won’t like it here either. It’s like EDSA except roads are ups and downs and cars are stuck in the middle of the traffic. And, tons of ignorant, selfish tourists from all over the world. If Baguio is a person, she is a real strong woman to bear all these happenings, stress and people brought by this season.

March

032216 - Ate Micah stayed in Baguio after her graduation for some work. But, during this time she was deciding to left Baguio for a while and be with her family in Bicol. So, for some reason that I cannot remember, we also decided to do this cutest photoshoot. We still the cutest.

031716 – “Bakit nandito ‘to? Akala ko nasa ‘yo.”  

April

042516 – It was my first time to meet Chu’s third older sister, Cherry. I like her. She is more makulit, but kind and adorable, light-hearted and easy to be with. This pic was taken at Amare la Cucina. She’s a very generous woman I did not expect her being kind with me as if I was a family for her, too. She is a nurse who are currently working in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I like her stories about her work abroad and her experiences with the other OFWs. Especially the funny ones where we laughed our hearts out as she reminisces the moments with only a candle giving us light because it was “pakurong” at that time in Pangasinan. “Pakurong” according to them is a special event during election where the authority or whoever is in power cut the electricity down to some selected places in Pangasinan where bribery happens.

043016 – Well, given the opportunity that I was in Pangasinan, I met Cali but this time she was a little bit taller than the last time I saw her. She is still adorable and the cutest as she is. We were in Pangasinan because we have no water in Baguio, school year has not yet ended and we still have a pile of laundry. We needed to get rid of it so we do our laundry in Chu’s house with lots of unlimited water from the poso system.

May

051416 – This was one of my favorite photo of myself taken from Ate Che’s iphone. It was my “lakas maka-celebrity selfie with the wonders of nature”.

051416. Yes. After a week, we were back again in Pangasinan. But this time we were in the beautiful beaches of Anda, Pangasinan. This was my favorite photo of us. It seemed like we had our late summer but early vacation. I truly enjoyed this trip and Chu’s family gathering. I never felt that I am “someone else”. Her family and extended family made me feel that I am a family, too and I am grateful for their warm welcoming of me. I enjoyed the place and the company, despite the uncomfortable feeling brought by unfinished acads that I still have to think about when we get back to Baguio.

051416. I never expected to see my dad whom I thought to be somewhere else in the country other than Pangasinan. It turned out that he was also in there with the people that he is working for. On that day, he suprisingly called me through phone as if he felt that my existence was just near to him. See, the force is strong in our family.

June

060716. National Museum with Chu. I am truly amazed with the glorious The Spoliarium by Juan Luna. I never expected that it is as huge as that. No wonder why Juan Luna became such a famous and admired person of his time. Of course it’s the National Museum, so we roamed around and get to see the fantastic works of other artists and historical figures, pieces of evidence of hardships the Filipinos have had to bear from our colonizers.  

061316. TK’s 19th birthday was a memorable one for the three of us. We were like Disney characters taking an adventure--searching for Love Desserts Restaurant under the scorching UV rays from the sun along Quezon Avenue. It was a very long and stressful walking. Nobody knows where exactly what we’re looking for. Until, we found it then. We took a brief break before actually consuming the food.

It is an eat-all-you-can type of  restaurant, you have access to all the desserts they could offer, you can even personalized your own icecream or halo halo except that it is time-constrained. If you are a birthday celebrant on the day of your visit, your meal is free except that you need to bring 2 or more friends. The desserts were good, except that I ate more of the bicol express shanghai and nachos instead of the desserts being offered.

The adventure walking that we had before we actually reached the store changed our appetite. We weren’t craving for desserts but a heavy meal for our angry stomach. This caused a little dizziness, too.

To my personal judgement of the said restaurant, I think it would be a little more delightful if we have visited the other branch (newer) in Fairview instead. The greatest advice would be, if anyone of you wants to visit the place, better have a car with you.

July

073016.  Instead of taking pictures inside the Female CR of SM Novaliches today, we tried a different ambiance from a fitting room. Lucky we. It’s like we had a mini photoshoot and in a low budget. Lighting of good.

072616. Today, we shared my mom’s overly sweet halo-halo. Also, Shau and TK taught me how to properly play the life-changing, friendship wrecker UNO CARDS.

071416. This was our first try to eat in a Food Park. If I remember it right, we celebrated no particular occasion but merely catching up to each other.

061716.  NOW YOU SEE ME 2. We watched this movie courtesy of Tita Shaula. I can still remember how the magic tricks amazed TK. TK reactions can replace FB Messenger’s stickers.

August

It was a busy month because another academic year has started. This was my second to the last semester that I need to take before finishing this undergrad program. 

September

090416. This was the day before my 20th birthday and this picture is one of the most colorful pictures that we have taken together. This is my favorite picture of us. It was the 2nd month of my 2nd to the last semester in college. Whenever I am with these two, I never felt that I am reaching the adulthood life. Although, we all happily observed that we are becoming mature individuals as the topic of our conversations extend from ourselves to our families and to our nation. We can’t deny the fact that we are all growing old and there are tons of responsibilities that await for us.

090516. I had a very small celebration with my family and I could not be more grateful for everything and every people that I have in my life. Life has been tough but I am blessed with a beautiful, strong and loving family and friends.

October

092616. It was Chu’s 19th birthday and we cannot think of a good birthday gift to her so with the help of our favorite artist we gave her an obra maestra. Haha Her very own face colorfully sketched in a piece of board.

November

110916. Today, our coolest professor in Philippine Institution 100 (Rizal’s Arts and Works) thought of the best project ever in exchange of our supposedly last long and exhaustive essay exam. She would like all the boys in the class to perform a monologue in the character of each and all of the women in Rizal’s life. The class was divided into groups so that each of the boys in the class will have and get their own assistance in make-ups, dresses and everything that they need from the girls. As a very supportive group members to our Kuya Matthew Oco (who was chosen to portray Rizal’s legal wife Josephine Bracken), we decided to join him on the stage instead of him performing a monologue. I acted as Rizal, Kuya Matthew as Josephine, Gabe as Rizal’s sister and Frances Maynel as a priest.

111216. Uncle Gin is the most fabulous landlord ever. Baguio will fall without him. It has been my honor to know him a little deeper.

 112116. Adivay. I have completely fallen inlove with the great harmony of the communities in Benguet.

December

120316. Moana. It was the last week of the semester and Moana was already available in cinemas in Baguio. I can’t wait to watch because I believe that it’s a beautiful craft and money is gonna worth it.

120716. Christmas Party. I had fun for the first part of the party. But, I never expected that Ate Wrakle would come. For real. Despite everything that happened, I have no right to not to welcome her in the house. We all valued the house itself, our relationship towards our boardmates, and our relationship with the house’s owner. It’s all our second home. She must have missed all the memories she shared inside with her friends. I wish she did not leave the house sooner. But, I now understand more clearly her needs of silence and privacy at that time.

As usual, I joined UPB community’s PASIKLABAN. It was my last Pasiklaban as an undergrad student. I received a white rose from an APO member who ran naked and participated on their Oblation ritual that hopefully, to symbolize harmony for the next succeeding years of me dealing with people. I enjoyed the night, and all the performances, especially from our professors and instructors. I will surely miss how satisfying it is to end the semester with this kind of celebration.  I felt nostalgic, emotional and free as I watched the fireworks display. I cannot believe that I have only one semester left. I felt alone for a minute. I missed my old friends from last four years. It did not turn out well between me and most of them, but I did miss them. I wished that there was a way we could go back in time and just be happy. I wished we could all just forget and forgive.  

[diaryofababychristian-blog]

My Testimony

I was the rebellious middle child of our family of five. My parents knew me as the selfish, sensitive, fearless, independent woman, who always insists on what she wants. I was born and grew up with a religious background and was a proud member of one of the most influential religions in the Philippines. Our family is very involved in church works, volunteering in almost all the activities hosted by the church & tirelessly inviting non-believers in evangelical missions and efforts.

Judgment Day or Jesus’ second coming is often discussed in almost every church service, which fixed my focus more on God’s wrath and how to avoid experiencing eternal punishment rather than God’s love, forgiveness and the significance of the cross. The word “grace” was a foreign word to me because we are taught that in order to enter heaven, we need to secure our membership and loyalty to the church, convert non-believers to our religion, and do good works. This idea of exclusivity made me hold on to my membership so I guarded it with my life, since this gave me the assurance of my salvation. My membership became my God instead of God Himself.

We were also taught that Jesus is not God, but a man who was simply used by the Father as a mediator in order for us to receive salvation. Since the doctrines were very heavy & centered on legalism and theories, which I admit, I’m not very good at; I resorted to not reading the Bible myself and laid my complete trust on how my previous church understood God’s Word. Unfortunately by doing so, this led me into a stage of complacency of my handpicked knowledge of the Bible, which are misleading and always taken out of context. I would also bash and compare other churches’ core teachings with ours, and label them as the false prophets that Jesus warned us about.

Being confident of my special place in heaven, I never bothered to pursue a loving relationship with God. My satisfaction rested on the concept of escaping hell but never understood that God is the greater treasure that I should look forward to. I only pray during church services every week, and barely communicate with God through personal prayers. Most of my major decisions in life were chosen by me; without praying about it first and seeking God’s approval, or even without my parents’ consent. But living as a daughter of one of the pioneers of our local church, I was pressured and did my best to keep a clean and spotless image for all to see. I was too afraid to bring embarrassment to my family and our reputation in the church that I started living a double life that was drawn to total disobedience to God and focused on feeding my selfish appetite.

By giving myself the ultimate control of my life, it brought me to a sexual affair with someone who was in a relationship. I easily fell into the trap of this deceitful man, who manipulated me to engage a secret relationship with him by telling me that he wants to pursue me. I slowly became emotionally attached to him, acting like a mistress by keeping our dirty secrets, and was honestly on the edge of falling in love with him. After a series of drama, he finally called it quits by telling me that he needed to be unfaithful to his girlfriend and plant guilt in his heart because, apparently, he needed to refuel his fire to pursue his girlfriend, since their relationship was on the rocks at that time. My heart shattered when I realized that I was used.

I would say that God allowed me to experience this kind of pain, enough for me to distance myself from going religiously to church, believing that God’s wrath is coming my way anytime soon. I found it hard to admit what I did, for the fear of exposure and losing my beloved membership. I was clueless about what to do for God to forgive me of everything I did to hurt Him. Basically, I underestimated His love and His ability to bestow mercy on my sinful past.

By the grace of God, He sent me good Christian friends who relentlessly invited me to Bible studies. I agreed to attend because at that point, I assumed that I no longer had anything to lose because God gave up on me anyway. I found myself attending Bible studies in CCF Makati with them more and more because somehow, it helped me discover some of God’s characteristics that I didn’t know of before. Slowly, I started understanding the importance of His blood on the cross, and how that is enough to receive forgiveness for my past sins. After weeks of encouragement, I opened and read the Bible by myself for the first time in my life. Day by day, the Holy Spirit would guide me through my devotionals and made me feel that God is really reaching out to me. Little did I know, God was slowly introducing Himself to me... He gradually lifted the veil on my eyes that hindered me from seeing a loving, gracious, beautiful God that He is. True enough, I’d say that I encountered God in a personal way.      

As I continued with my spiritual walk with Jesus, I still struggled to understand the concept of Jesus’ death and resurrection and why He really did it. Before, by just the sight of the shape of the cross, my eyes would automatically look away. I considered it as an idol, an object that is worshiped and is unnecessary. But praise God for giving me a brand new perspective of what was once a symbol of death and sin, now became a symbol of unconditional love and obedience, all because of Jesus Christ. It also helped me grasp this ultimate “public display of affection” during my first meeting with my discipleship group in Walkway in BGC two holy weeks ago. Understanding the weight of the cross has revealed to me a love so vast that I cannot even fathom. What Jesus did in the Calvary is something so beautiful that I cannot help but ignore. He paid a debt He didn’t owe to satisfy a debt I couldn’t pay.

Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

He was thinking of me with every spit on his face, every whip on his back, every drop of His blood, every pound on the nails, every tear, and up to His last breath, He obeyed the Father whole-heartedly for me to taste this freedom that I am enjoying right this very moment. By fully embracing Jesus’ life as a worthy sacrifice to cover all my shortcomings with His perfect blood, this beautiful Truth freed me from living a sinful life I once enjoyed. This genuine peace and joy in my heart is the overflow of His love. A love that gave me a fresh new start, as I try my very best to live in obedience to God’s Word and bring glory to Him in every way that I can.

And exactly two years ago, after deciding to surrender my life to Jesus Christ and allowed Him to take the driver’s seat, I publicly declared my commitment to obey and follow Him through baptism. It was a moment of undeniable bliss and my heart is just overflowing with joy and happiness, and became a start of my boldness to share this experience with God and how He can restore a wreck like me.

By His grace alone, I was able to use my spiritual gifts of faith and encouragement to lift up my fellow brothers and sisters who find it easy to open their lives to me. I also maximize the skills in multimedia arts, in helping with the advancement of His Kingdom and to bless others as well. God also allowed me to serve in different retreats like CCF Metro West’s True Life Retreat, Secrets of the Vine Module 2 Retreat, and Friday Night Light, one of the singles ministries in CCF Makati. I am also actively using Facebook as a platform to spread the Gospel to my family and friends by posting Bible verses, short devotionals and inspirational posts in the hopes of reaching out to more and more souls that, I pray, will eventually lead towards a personal encounter with Jesus Christ.

As the first Christian in our home, I face persecution every now and then, but my hope rests in His palms, believing that Jesus is already victorious in all the battles that I am currently experiencing. Every time I encounter these kinds of challenges from my family, I just look up the cross and imagine what Jesus had gone through for me. That way, I draw strength from Him to face each and every persecution that I will be facing to protect my relationship with the Lord.

Not in a million years will I ever deserve His love that is sacrificial and free from what-ifs. I did absolutely nothing but You, Jesus, did everything for me. I deserve eternal death, but because of Your deep compassion, You allowed Yourself to endure the cross, and every pain that comes along with it. Thank You for seeing me as someone who is worthy to die for. Thank You for giving me a hope that I can be so much more than my brokenness, and made me feel that my soul means more to You than Your life itself.

My name is Jennifer Piñon, was once lost, blinded from the truth, a slave to sin and of the world, but is rescued, made-whole and forever changed by God’s amazing grace and pure love. This is not my story, but it’s a story of how God intervened to save my soul and was allowed to receive the true and authentic Gospel of Jesus. May all the praises be lifted high to the only One who deserves it all. To God be all the glory and praise forevermore.

[viasotto]

crestfallen on the landing, champagne problems

the basics

name: olivia wilhelmina sotto

fc: maris racal

also known as: the priceless gem

nicknames: via

gender: cis female

pronouns: she/her

age: 24

date of birth: august 4

astrological sign: leo

place of birth: the hamptons, new york

nationality: filipino-american (dual citizen)

ethnicity: filipino

family: don claudio and doña wilhelmina sotto (grandparents, currently in the philippines), antonio and evelina sotto (parents, currently in new york, and olivero claudio sotto (older twin brother, current location unknown)

occupation and education

education: BFA in Theatre/MA in Performing Arts Administration (dual degree), MA Art, Education, and Community Practice

previous occupations: none

current occupation: wedding coordinator

romance and attraction

relationship status: single

longest relationship: one year

appearance

height: 5′2″ without heels

weight: 106lbs

build: petite, slim build

hair color and style: long, brown

eyes color: dark brown

clothing style: classic, feminine, elegant chic

tattoos: none

piercings: ears

defining features: beauty mark on right side of lips

personality

positive traits: supportive, motivated, persevering, creative, family-oriented, independent

negative traits: loyalty to an extreme, set in her ways, guarded

likes: choco pies, crepe cakes, brunch, sleepovers with friends, retail therapy, a well-organized day, lists, beauty face masks, eggs benedict, straightforward conversations

dislikes: surprises, rowdiness, disruptive behavior, being judged, food not cooked to perfection, confusing actions

hobbies and skills

notable skills: calligraphy, digital art, planning

secret talents: singing, dancing

languages spoken: english, tagalog, bisaya

before anything else: yes, i am aware that maris is of visayan descent and i am bisaya myself. please do not try to tell me how to play my muse. with that out of the way, please do communicate any form of drama involving my muse. unplotted drama will be ignored. it is not fun to play a character that gets dragged into things i am not aware of. i am always down for plotted in-character drama, and i prefer if we are comfortable talking ooc about it. i promise i’m approachable! 

More about Via

For most of Via’s life, she was never referred to by her actual name when introduced to people. She was always “the granddaughter of Don Claudio and Doña Wilhelmina Sotto,” whose names inspire fear or awe—depending on who is hearing or saying them. Those who know the names know how much influence they sway in the Philippines, particularly in the southern islands of the country, but their influence does not stop there. The Sottos of New York have always been tied to opulence, famously known as art collectors and real estate magnates in one of the most expensive places to live in. Via’s mother took care to keep the tradition alive, hosting some of the most historic gatherings in the Hamptons.  But of course, anyone in New York knows these traditions are not just about fun and festivities. Hidden behind caviars and canapés is the parental instinct to pave the way for the next generation to hold the mantel when it’s their turn. Even back in Via’s school days, classmates were clearly told by parents wanting to keep a good connection with the Sottos to be mindful of her wishes. 

When one is born with influence, it becomes almost as natural as breathing--even when Via is not aware of it or choosing to actively exert it. Despite the air of influence, Via remained grounded--as far as grounding can go for someone who enjoys her fair share of everyday excesses. Unfortunately for the elder Sottos, the heir and heiress of the family fortune both refused to fall in line for the scripted life, the gilded cage. Via is known to spend her time anywhere but in the usual hangouts of the rich and famous, choosing to vacation in the Philippines rather than in the Hamptons every summer. Her older brother took on a more rebellious role that earned him removal from the family will, his story becoming a cautionary tale for Via, who learned to stretch the limits without directly getting herself disowned as well. 

Wanted Connections

gold rush -  the accidental spark. (fai) they were best friends, living in the same circle, pretty much joined at the hip. she knows their type, from clothes to partners. they know her like the back of their hand. they were supposed to be partners in crime, but never more than that. until someone developed feelings they did not know how to deal with, and so the awkwardness began. (we can discuss if they act on their feelings or let it die, letting it be a funny part of their history instead)

welcome to new york - the respected. they have an unspoken vow to not be in each other’s way. perhaps they used to be best friends who had a falling out but they still have enough respect for each other to keep the peace. bonus points if they are pitted against each other by the media but they seem unfazed by it.

no body, no crime - the suspicious. no one really knows what happened to via’s older twin brother, oliver. one moment he has been living his life as loudly and rowdy as he can in the upper east side, but next day, he was never to be seen again. this person could be close to via’s brother and suspicious of what happened, perhaps even suspecting that via knows--or is even involved in his disappearance. conspiracy theories heavily encouraged. 

pink lemonade - the opposites. they dated or were close to dating at one point, but their differences quickly became the reason they did not work out. (we can discuss how things ended, in a good or bad way)

near to you - the constant. (elijah) via has tried several times to date people recommended by his family, but after every breakup, she returns to the safe arms of one of her oldest and dearest friends for comfort. they always remind her who she is and what she can do on her own. (could be an ex that ended on good terms, too) 

friends who look out for each other - amor

friends who used to be enemies - joon

childhood friends - reyna, mack

unlikely friends - maze

everything else we can brainstorm!

Important

despite coming from old money and a very influential family, via does not like to concern herself with complicated social connections and often finds it burdensome to keep up appearances. 

however, this does not mean she does not use it to her advantage from time to time. after all, getting the most exclusive venues is easier for a wedding coordinator when you are a sotto.

no one who’s actually friends with via calls her olivia. anyone who name-drops her using her full name is clearly using her for clout--or at least that’s what she assumes. only her family calls her olivia.