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lesbiansforboromir · 3 years

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Let me tell you all about a very personally satisfying HC I have that, whilst perhaps explaining some things within the books, is really just for my own enjoyment.

So, the idea originates in the concept that everyone in the Dol Amrothian line are very spooky. The close elven lineage and living near an old abandoned elven haven had particularly mysterious effects on the whole family. Sure there are Dunadain in Gondor and they can develop certain spooky traits, but the Lords of Dol Amroth start out spooky and usually stay that way. It goes up and down depending on the individual, but generally they are all uncanny at the very least.

Denethor can see into the hearts of men, yeah ok cool I guess. Imrahil goes down to the Dol Amroth harbour at dusk and whispers to the swans until midnight, he answers questions you were sure you did not say out loud, he can make you weep with genuine grief over a sadness he hasn’t even mentioned. Speaking with Finduilas sometimes makes you feel like time passes in an instant, or incredibly slowly, or not at all... except no... really... how much time has passed? Wasn’t it just morning? How is the sun setting already? Or, oh my gosh, I’m going to be late! Or... not..? it’s barely been a few moments, yet I feel like I just lived a lifetime...

Ivriniel insists this is all nonsense, doggedly, she refuses to acknowledge it, no matter how many political rivals raise her considerable ire and come down with a mysterious and debilitating illness the next day. Grandmother Duilindes is just straight up a witch. ‘It’s all for the honour of Eru’ she says placatingly, as she enters her rooms in the Palace that she forbids anyone else from entering.

Denethor had heard these rumours before meeting Finduilas and, sure, he sometimes feels like he is being hunted, only to turn and find Adrahil’s eyes on him. But Dunadain are just a little strange like that! Surely it’s been blown out of proportion. He believes this up until he comes to Dol Amroth as Finduilas’ suitor.

Denethor: Shall we take a walk after dinner? Everyone looks up from their plates in alarm Adrahil: Are you joking? Denethor: ??? Imrahil: It's the seventh day! The gardens aren't to be disturbed! Denethor, whispering to Finduilas: What does that mean?? Finduilas, chuckling: oh, Denethor!

He sees Imrahil whispering to the swans at one point and is about to call out to him before Finduilas quickly gestures him silent.

Denethor, whispered: What is he doing? Finduilas: Shh, if the swans hear us we'll surely be attacked. Denethor: But then shouldn't Imrah- Finduilas: SHH.

One evening Ivriniel sweeps in with a stormy countenance, muttering over Lord Garahel’s stupidity. The next morning Denethor hears Imrahil mention that Lord Garahel has been taken ill with some fainting sickness. The look he gives Ivriniel is enough for her to know his mind.

Ivriniel: Your imagination will run wild Denethor, I had thought you more reasonable. You think I, what? Cursed him? Don’t be ridiculous. Denethor, turning to Finduilas: Do you think... she knows she's doing it? Finduilas: Oh no, in fact she's determined to remain ignorant to it. Denethor: Can you... do that? Finduilas: I havent tried :)

At some point Finduilas had told Denethor that ‘Imrahil is the odd one of the family’ and by the end of the visit all Denethor can think is ‘by what metric??’

Denethor had to admit to himself privately that he was not at all put off by Finduilas’ nature, but he did have cause to worry what their children would be like. Finduilas came across Denethor, early after Boromir’s birth, rocking him to sleep and murmuring softly; 'I may have my failings as a father, I am sure I shall, but I swear they will be honestly meant, I love you so dearly my son... please do not curse me when you are older and I do not allow you everything you ask. I promise I only ever have your wellness in mind.' And she thought it was very sweet and proper, but she didn’t tell him he was wrong! And for very good reason!

Boromir was an unnerving child. He learned to speak just a little too quickly, and when he did he would often say uncanny things, too knowing things, indecipherable things that became daunting the longer you thought about them. He had such a powerful grasp of complex feeling that he would often solve arguments between adults, explain emotions back at his parents or offer reasons for another child’s behaviour that were so accurate it became uncomfortable.

3yo Boromir: (explains the reason Denethor’s secretary was distracted that day unprompted) Finduilas: (laughs) yes that's right! Denethor: It's.... TOO right. Finduilas: Oh well children are intuitive aren't they? Denethor, picking Boromir up: ... I feel under qualified to teach you things. Boromir: (baby-giggles but in a like way too knowing way)

And then sometimes Denethor would be sitting reading on a bench on a balcony in the early evening with Boromir contentedly playing with a fiddle-toy beside him, and suddenly his son’s voice would break the silence with; 'When I wasn't here I was colder, so I think I like it here, I'll stay. The air isn't as delicious but there's more to see.'

And then he’d go back to playing as though nothing was wrong whilst Denethor had an existential crisis.

Denethor: W.. where were you, before? Boromir: Well I didn't know, because I couldn't know, but now I can know things, just not that. I haven't decided if I like it.

He asks Finduilas about it as soon as he can find her and she just laughs, ‘don't worry he'll forget he knows that in a few years’ she says, as though that helps at all.

But in general this is as far as Boromir ventures into the ‘spooky Dol Amroth’ territory. Sometimes he mentions things he CHOSE NOT to do that suggests he is capable of more, but other than randomly forcing Denethor to consider his position in the universe and reading him for shit, the first five years of being a parent is fine for Denethor.

At one point, when Boromir was about two, someone asked Finduilas if they were planning for another baby soon. Finduilas laughed ruefully, as though everyone would know that was a foolish question. ‘Oh no, much too soon for that’ she said. Denethor knew he had to follow up on what the hell that meant later. But when asked, all Finduilas said was ‘Oh you know! If siblings are born too close then they align their powers. Haven’t you heard my father talk about my uncles?’ She says it with the same tone as reading something out of a parenting manual. Denethor doesn’t want to hear about Finduilas’ uncles, but accepts this is important and stops thinking about it.

And it’s a good thing they did wait because, whilst Boromir was unnerving, Faramir is straight up terrifying.

What Denethor realised was that Boromir had been showing restraint. Faramir however was very comfortable with his powers and saw no reason not to use them. Denethor would find himself lost in baby Faramir’s eyes, feeling unable to move simply because of the weight of his stare. Finduilas and Boromir would have to save him from Faramir’s grasp, an act that would make Faramir look very put out.

If people irritated Denethor when he was holding his youngest son, then just a glance from this child would make them drop whatever they were holding, Faramir grinning victoriously all the while. If Faramir did not want to take a bath then Finduilas would have to be present in case the baby decided to make Denethor relive his entire childhood.

Sometimes Denethor would come outside to see his toddler just surrounded by the street cats of Minas Tirith, conducting some kind of incomprehensible tribunal that all the cats appeared to abide by. At one point Boromir was holding Faramir when Faramir grasped his brother’s face and pulled so that their eyes locked. Boromir passively held Faramir’s intense gaze for a while in this charged and tense moment, before calmly looking away as Faramir pouted. Denethor once again begged Finduilas to explain, but all she had to give was a fond sigh and a ‘Aw, Faramir just wants to get to know him, but our Boromir is too canny, Ivriniel and I used to do that.’ Denethor is used to helpless bemusement and concern by now.

Now the SECOND part to this HC- YES I’M STILL GOING, THIS IS ALL IMPORTANT- the second part is that Dol Amrothians ALSO get a kind of ‘choice’. (This is likely not at all canon friendly tbh but uwu I can have a leetle canon noncompliance if it doesn’t effect the vast expansive canon... as a treat) It is far more unconscious and happens in childhood, but there is a point where a child will ‘decide’ to continue being spooky or to be more mundane. This never overrides ALL the spookiness, hence Ivriniel’s intermittent cursing and Finduilas’ occasional time dilation, but Imrahil still out spooks the lot of them. Amongst the family this is known as ‘settling’.

Boromir settles when he is eight. One day he comes to breakfast and Denethor looks into his son’s face and feels like he is suddenly more in the world, more in the moment. Boromir seems as himself as ever, but he makes friends easier afterwards. Whereas he had always been liked, now he is popular and has close relationships with children, rather than always seeming too distant. This also coincides with one of Gandalf’s rare visits. He had been trying to connect with Boromir, trying to engage him on very specific topics. Boromir had not been amused.

Denethor would never say that Boromir hating Gandalf’s vibes was the reason he settled for mundanity. Boromir had many good reasons, he is sure. But the fact that he chose that moment to settle, so that Denethor was allowed to watch Gandalf also realise that Boromir was no longer ‘apt to his hand’, well he might have gleaned some little pleasure from it.

The only aspect Boromir retains is his general resistance to such spookiness. Hence his frustration in both Rivendell and Lothlorien, the time distortion of those places not effecting him and the imposed rest not touching him, meaning he feels every passing day keenly. It also explains his resistance towards the Balrog’s doomful presence, as well as his heightened distress at Galadriel’s ability to see into his mind, where he had always been able to defend himself before.

Faramir on the other hand is seven when he settles, thoroughly content with his spooky powers and wanting even more command over them. It is with this settling that he becomes able to sometimes cause people pain for lying to him. Denethor... struggles as a single father for many reasons.

#erran vs tolkien #denethor #finduilas #imrahil #boromir #faramir #tolkien #lotr #urrr this isn't meta um...#it'll go into #soap operas in mannish sindarin #anyway #because it's fun #text post #long post

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aventurasdeunatortuga · 3 years

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Laredo Part 2

Week 1

Hey friends,

After a long travel hiatus, as some of you may already know, I am back in Laredo, Texas. I’ll be here for about 3.5 weeks working with shelters to support recently arrived asylum seekers at the US Mexico border. I was here 2 years ago doing the same thing, you can go through the laredo tag on here to get some more background about what is going on here and to read about my experiences in 2019.

I have been here already for about a week and have been so exhausted I haven’t had the energy to write anything, but here is more or less what is going on.

So since Fall of 2019, the border was closed to all asylum seekers thanks to 45’s cruel Remain In Mexico policy, which forced asylum seekers from Central America to wait along the Mexican border for an undetermined amount of time until they could get an immigration hearing. In the past asylum seekers could wait with their families in the US for their court dates (it can be a long wait). Waiting at the border in Mexico, a country they are not from, left folks vulnerable to human trafficking, kidnapping, gang violence, and extortion from the cartels operating along the border. During COVID folks were living in makeshift tents along the border with no running water and were left vulnerable to exposure, flooding, disease, dangerous wildlife, and the millions of other dangers that come from being outside in 113 degree heat with no water. There was no international aid brought in and support was limited to the few aid workers allowed to cross the border, which was very dangerous given the amount of gang violence on the Mexican side. One shelter director in Nuevo Laredo was kidnapped and murdered last year.

When Biden was elected, he reversed the Remain In Mexico policy just a few weeks into his presidency. Meaning that asylum seekers could now enter the US after surrendering at the border and being held for indeterminate amounts of time in ICE detention centers. Once they are released from there they are given a court date in wherever their final destination in the US is, but are left on the street with nothing.

Most folks are illiterate, none speak English and some only speak indigenous dialects. All of their possessions and money have been taken by either cartels or by ICE. Most havent eaten in days and many are seriously ill. None of them know where they are or how to get where they’re going. ICE will drop them off at random towns along the border after releasing them from detention, sometimes hundreds of miles from where they crossed. They just have a name and phone number memorized of a friend or family member in the US that is sponsoring them and who they are planning to stay with.

The vast majority of folks are from Central America, they are fleeing cartel violence , government persecution, extreme poverty, and natural disasters caused by climate change. The instability in these countries (Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and El Salvador) was caused directly by US intervention, but that’s a whole other topic I won’t get into now. Folks must show a credible proof of being threatened or persecuted in their home country to even be granted the status of asylum seeker and to be given a court date.

Shelters in border towns do what they can to support folks being released from detention. They help them make phone calls, provide translation, help them buy bus and plane tickets, give them food, water, medical care, showers, clean clothes, toiletries, and a safe place to sleep until they are able to make travel arrangements to their final destinations.

During the last 2 years under the Remain In Mexico policy, no one was being admitted and so shelters lost a great deal of funding, staff, and volunteers. They turned more towards community work, which was especially needed during COVID.

Shelters are in a difficult position now though, folks are allowed to enter now which is good news but shelters are having to meet even more extreme needs with far fewer resources than they had pre-COVID.

For a long time the shelter I worked with before, La Frontera, was closed due to lack of funding; but only very recently reopened again. I have been spreading my time between La Frontera (run by Catholic charities) and the other shelter in Laredo, Holding Institute Community Center, which is a community center run by the Methodist Church. Both of these shelters have 2-3 paid staff members, a revolving door of volunteers from around the country (the majority of them nuns), are entirely donation based, and receive 200-300 new people every single day.

About 20-30% of each busload of people that ICE drops off are infected with COVID. ICE refuses to test folks that they detain for COVID because if they knew they had positive cases they would have to provide healthcare and a place for them to quarantine. Instead they lump everyone together in cramped conditions and COVID is allowed to run rampant in these detention centers.

In detention folks are kept in overcrowded rooms, communicated with almost exclusively in English, are provided limited food and toiletries, and are kept in refrigerated rooms (65 degrees) with no blankets. These places are called the ‘ice boxes’. Sometimes folks are separated from their families here as well.

Lately there has also been a dysentery outbreak due to the fact that the city of Laredo does not currently have drinkable water, residents are advised to drink only bottled or boiled water, which asylum seekers do not have access to until they reach the shelters.

When folks reach the shelters, they are given on the spot covid tests by a team of nurses and public health officials. There is no room for them at the hospitals, even if there were room hospitals wouldnt accept them because they have no insurance. The city government has offered bottled water to the shelters but thats it.

After being tested for covid, the health team divides folks into 2 groups, positive and negative. Folks who test positive have to quarantine for 10 days in an empty warehouse next door to the shelter or if they’re lucky and the shelter can afford it, a motel. Yesterday the shelter bought out a motel because there were 200+ covid patients who arrived. We have two small classrooms at the shelter that have been converted into sleeping areas for about 40 covid patients. The medical team leaves boxes of food and clothing outside their door, and once a day they are taken to shower and then the entire bathroom is sanitized.

Those who test negative are immediately vaccinated on site, and then taken to get clean clothes, food, and a shower. They sleep on cots outside under the trees in the fenced courtyard of the shelter.

For the first few days I’ve been here, I’ve been working at Holding only because I didn’t know La Frontera had reopened. I was mainly working on sorting and organizing clothing and helping folks find clothes that they need. Last night though 200+ covid positive patients arrived and we had to stop allowing people in the building to pick out clothes, and today we moved to just putting together kits of different sized clothes to give directly to them.

I was feeling a bit frustrated the last few days because the staff member in charge of organizing donations was being extremely critical of me and it was very frustrating and degrading to be around. I was yelled at a number of times by her. For example, I saw a pile of 200 towels on the ground and folded them. I was told that I did it wrong, to unfold them and fold all of them a different way. Or I started organizing toiletries and was just told ‘no, you’re messing it up, don’t touch that’. I understand that I’m new but no one took the time to introduce themselves to me, orient me, or show me what to do and I was trying to be helpful. I also understand that folks are stressed and under pressure but please don’t take it out on people trying to help you. Most everyone there is extremely nice it was just one of the staff members in particular that was acting this way. I was told I wasn’t allowed to give water or shoes to people who needed them because “I didn’t know how to do it” and because “if you give water to one person, everyones going to want it, and i don’t have time for that”. I didn’t come down here to sit inside doing nothing next to a giant case of bottled water and be told I’m not allowed to give it to the thirsty person in front of me.

So I walked out and I left the shelter in the middle of the day to go drive around town and take a breather, because everything I did seemed like made someone upset. When I came back I inserted myself into the kitchen crew and ended up making 200+ sandwiches for dinner. I also had a long talk with one of the nuns who assured me that that staff member is like that with everyone and has a lot of control issues due to the amount of pressure she is under, and not to take it personally. She told me that La Frontera had reopened and so ever since then I started dividing up my days between the two shelters. This has made a big difference and I feel a lot better and more useful.

I also connected more with some of the nuns here and they invited me to dinner tonight which was nice. One of the sisters is writing a book based on narratives of folks passing through these shelters and is interviewing people she meets. It was fascinating to talk to her. She has worked with undocumented immigrants and DREAMers from around the country for 28 years, and wrote another book based on those experiences called Silent Voices In The Shadows (Paula Schwendinger), which I just finished reading and highly recommend.

Oh, also it has been raining really hard for the past day or so with 95% humidity and constant thunder and lightening, which has made things even more interesting.

I will try to keep posting semi regularly while I’m here.

#laredo #texas #borderlands #immigration #asylum seekers

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abrakophile · 3 years

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I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post

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pavlovers · 5 years

Note

jasmine tea, iced cafe mocha, caramel macchiato, iced coffee, herbal tea

Jasmine Tea : If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

well hmm assuming id have to go right here right now, and i dont have to bring my family because we are dysfunctional and miserable wherever we are, maybe japan? hopefully theyre not experiencing a heat wave like a lot of countries are at the moment but id like to cross off buying a lifetime supply of strawberry kitkats and getting rice from a vending machine off my bucket list. also i believe theres like a tiny island full of cats over there in which case i would also like to go there and die

Iced Cafe Mocha : Favorite thing to do on rainy days?

rain or shine i like to hole up inside so,, yknow. channel the spirit of buffcorrell dancing to the less i know the better in my bedroom. watch every single bbc documentary on netflix. the usual.

Caramel Macchiato : You’re travelling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take?

well as nice as that sounds i am truly a dumbass when it comes the practicalities of traveling so i probably wanna take someone in my life who is much smarter than i am. perhaps my friend gabi bc she’s insanely good at planning out stuff, and also is on a data plan so i wont just have to walk up and down city streets praying theres a starbucks nearby so i can look up where the nearest public transportation is. but also maybe my dad because like,, obviously having lived 43 more years than i have he knows a lot more about air travel procedures than i do and other practical stuff like exchanging currency, and being safe, and embassies and yada yada yada. and hes also the only member of immediate family i can stand.

Iced Coffee : Do you like reading? If so, what’s your favorite book?

i do! i admit im not the best at keeping up with it independently,, although ive been pretty good at trying to read a little every day so far this summer so there’s progress i suppose.

im not exactly sure if i have A favorite book but ive read the great gatsby, the catcher in the rye, and the outsiders each multiple times and among other reasons, i just love returning to them to see how my perspective has changed when digesting the story. but i also enjoyed the hitchhiker’s guide series, to kill a mockingbird, lord of the flies, and local girls (alice hoffman) when i read them and would love to return to them again a few years down the road. and maybe its too early to call since i havent finished it but p&p i think might be my favorite book ive read so far this year :)

also no other YA series matters but the clique books that is ALL

Herbal Tea : You’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy?

im not the biggest proponent of candles but i do enjoy dessert scents quite a bit. so ill take any one that smells cinnamon-y or vanilla-y.

#ask #ty diana ur The Best !

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 6 years

Text

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

#suspiria #reviews from a shitty movie goer #lol :')#spoiler alert #tl;dr alert #this review's looooong overdue but f*ck it!#suspiria (2018)#there's a lot i might have missed?#movie review #review

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

Text

there was an ask list but instead of reblogging it im just doing the thing where i answer it all and put it here under a readmore

what mythical creature do you wish actually existed? idk i like griffins but i feel like thats boring b/c they dont like have any Powers...

soundcloud or vinyls? i dont rly use either lol

what book does everyone right now need to read? whatever they want i have no huge recs. i like the ashbury high / brookfield series & thats kinda unknown but thats it

do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets? its not much of a thrill...i guess im neutral but it has to fit me for starters

what was the best thing that happened to you this month? i donno. watched some stuff, had ppl compliment me

what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? i periodically tell myself to care less about various shit

would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests? i guess the sky....clouds are nice. the ocean is full of heinous shit and the abyss. the forest can be kinda iffy too and also cut down

would you kiss the last person you kissed again? i havent kissed anybody romantically* so its not really an issue for me

do you plan your outfits? rarely

how do you feel right now? eh theres the usual undercurrents of misery and frustration but that’s just bg noise most of the time. im alright i suppose

what’s the last dream you remember having? well i was having trouble driving, which is a frequent dream, because it was a bus, which is an unusual detail. i think we were trying to take a roadtrip to a beach in another country, which is a thing that happens in my dreams lately. but then i suddenly found out i was in a play that was in like rehearsal/performance stages already, which is also common. my role was to act like i was real gay for some other guy character. i was like lol no prob

what are you craving right now? im usually a bit hungry i guess

turn ons/offs? i like people who can go along with a joke i suppose and who seem interested in other people and what they have to say. too many things repel me from other ppl to list

when was the last time you cried? why? i’ll cry super easily if im just imagining some sad concept

did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? there’s some contenders there smh...but no

do you bite or lick your ice cream? lick....

favorite movie ever? i dont have one

do you like yourself? yeah im alright enough

have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity? not like an a-lister no

how many countries have you visited? just the one ive always been in

have you ever been in a castle? no

what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? i dont think anything too special. got in front of a car w someone but it was moving slow. proceeded w my stage entrance anyways even when a curtain cue got effed up & led the Improvisation of working around it, but that was dance so nobody had any lines to change

what’s on your mind right now? hoping it tstorms really dramatically later

what’s your zodiac sign? gay

name 5 facts about yourself. my eyes are blue, my pupils dont dilate evenly coz one is a bit less dilatable, im horribly nearsighted, i can cross one eye, i have sort of a unibrow

do you believe in karma? i dont believe in not karma

ever been in love? not romantically*

whom do you admire and why? a lot of activists, im interested in activism and volunteering but have rarely been able to actually be involved in things

what was your favorite bedtime story as a child? man i dont remember having bedtime stories, i dont think i did that much after learning to read myself. i read “pat the bunny” a lot for my little brother, that one was his fave

did you make someone laugh today? i dont think so

do you believe in ghosts? ive always liked hearing about ghost shit, i am not inclined to think that everyone who says theyve had Ghost Encounters is lying, i know ppl personally who have stories who i dont think are lying and it would be presumptuous to say like “well but they probably didnt REALLY x y or z,” and yet still i am always skeptical abt the whole thing. i am agnostic abt everything ever re afterlife stuff, but again—if we’re in a horror movie haunted house situation and shits going down, im going to assume ghosts and everything ive heard about them is true and act accordingly until we’re out of there, Greg The Adamant Disbeliever can have fun dying. and catch me not messing around w ouija boards or any of that shit either...im good.

if you could go back in time which time period would you visit? visit....damn i dunno.

would you want to live forever? why/why not? i mean if other ppl are doing it to then it might be fine. but like me specifically as things are now living forever, im not much interested. someone else can have my immortality

what makes you sad? shit like, life man

was today typical? why/why not? yeah i didnt do anything interesting

who do you trust the most? i dont particularly distrust anyone but i dont really have anything i’d need to trust anyone over

what did you have for breakfast today? i didnt

do you have any regrets looking back in your life? not really

what’s your favorite fictional universe? i dont have one

favorite tv show? i dont have one

share a favorite quote. i have some but i’ll never be able to think of one on the spot

what does your ideal day look like? ahh idk. doing something fun while being around other people

do you have any hobbies? i guess drawing / writing count. theres other things but i dont do them regularly / recently

share a small random book passage that means something to you. dont have one

what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared? theres not really anything like that

do you usually date people your age or older/younger? neither

who means the world to you? why? any cat ive ever met b/c theyre angels

best books you’ve ever read? i guess i can plug the ashbury/brookfield books again

who is your favorite cartoon character? i gotta say lars dont i

coffee or tea? tea

would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved? loved but like by multiple ppl right? gimme that magnitude in Widely rather than Intensely

are you a dog or a cat person? i feel like only dog ppl consider this to be a real Binary

what is your biggest addiction? biting my lip endlessly lol

do you ever think about the galaxy? sure

what’s your favorite color? blue

do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not? nah...my sibs and i are like friendly acquaintances i guess. thatll be an abusive household i guess

are you a morning or a night person? night

have you ever dealt with a mental illness? I Guess

how would your friends describe you? uhhhh people say im funny sometimes

do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert? bit of both

what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do? i dont think i have any secrets there

describe yourself in 3 words. extremes, thoughtful, Gay

best memory as a child? idk i always liked swimming and going to pools / waterparks

what is your eye and hair color? blue / brown, respectively.

do you like crystals? theyre cool

if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? imperialism banned

what’s your hogwarts house? idk slytherin hufflepuff or smthing

biggest pet peeve? theres many..

would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet? well first i need the mythical best friend group but also can we be doing something more fun than a cocktail party

share a secret. I’ve Pooped Outside

would you rather live longer or happier? this might only be a difficult choice if it was live shorter or happier

who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why? nobody coz idk

do you wear glasses? yes

forest or river? forest

do you like exercise? its alright i dont like just straightup running though

do you like poetry? it depends on who the poet is. cishet white dudes shouldnt be allowed, for starters

any special talent that you have? i’m good at telling if lines are parallel lol

#i dont pretend to be interesting

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thejonymyster · 7 years

Text

scri¶t

episode about bright

_--_-_--_

so yeah i never write about bright so. here it comes!!!

another bright early morning with bright. ok wait i need a way to differentiate the adjective bright from the character bright. for this script i will be capitalizing Bright's name

Bright is just el waking up from being asleep all night i guess? more like after passing out from exhaust. Bright, a being of bioluminescence, has often found it difficult to get some decent shuteye, due to being really bright. id like to see you try to sleep with glowing eyes and eyelids. actually no thats creepy i do /not/ want to watch you sleep.

but yeah bedtimes aside, Bright is just waking up this morning, actually fairly well rested. he goes to the bathroom and brushes his freakin teeth and all and uh.

so he gets dressed in Proper clothes (that you cant really see anyways because Bright is just too effin bright) and steps out of his room

bright: ok so what was the plan for today

Bright only a little bit talks to himself like only for remembering things or like when youre watching the movie and the character is alone and hes talking to himself so the audience knows what hes thinking. you know what i mean?

bright: theres reffing, then book club, then uh. hm *goes back inside and checks the calendar* well i guess i just dont have much planned today. i got all dressed up for nothin haha.

bright: hm.

bright: guess ill walk around and see whos up

like literally hes only talking to himself so you know what hes thinking about now. i guess

so Bright locks his door and walks down the hallway to the elevator and rides it down to the third floor

el bright: *walks over to room 326 and knocks on the door quietly*

[a short pause] tallstar: just a minute im getting dressed

bright: w- oh ha, good one

tallstar: (upon arrival to the door) thanks ive been pr*clears throat*acticing

bright: so whats up

tallstar: nothing much i just kind of, got up. ... .,,. ,any plans?

bright: well, actually, not really. todays pretty empty for me, but like i havent had breakfast yet so if youre not up to anything maybe we could go hit the diner or something?

tallstar: really? with: me? a-re you asking, me.. out??

bright: ahaha yeah! i mean!! not asking you out.. like technically that would be asking you in. since its still inside the... no i mean i /am/ asking you, but just as a friend. friends hang out and eat food sometimes, it happens.

tallstar: oh! hahah*choke*hh o-ok well wbut i gotta say to you. to tell you. im real sorry *swallow* but uh i ghave admit i always thought of you as more of a friend of a friend.. you know? with henry

bright: thats fair, we dont really hang out all too much and he is usually there when we do.

oh man im so tired suddenly its like 12:34 am right now

goodnight heckers

-__-_-__-

bright episode part two the electr who cares about that meme <--! note to selfthat title will nottramslate well--> oh also give the waiter a name -_-_-_-_-_-_-

when we left off bright was asking tallstar to breakfast but i was too tired to write him saying yes and putting that dialogue now disrupts el flow so im just telling you instead

At El Diner

and its not like a date or anything

so bright and tallstar are sitting at a table since tallstar doesnt really fit in the booth. but dont worry its not like hes never had the chance to sit in a booth, like, ever or something. hes sat in booths before

here comes the waiter

waiter: good morning, my name is Staff Member #4, ill be your waiter. do you want to start off with some drinks now?

bright: ill have some orange juice

waiter: uh huh... and what would you like? *looks at tallstar expectantly*

tallstar: uh ill just have a water

waiter: ok! anything else?

tallstar and bright both look like theyre about to say something but its impossible to tell because brights face has no contrast and tallstar just has no face. there is a long silence

waiter: alright well ill go get your drinks and you can figure out what you want to eat. *leaves*

tallstar: achoo!

bright: bless you

tallstar: thanks

a long uncomfortable pause

bright: hey uh... did you want anything else?

tallstar: oh, no, and, i was wondering the same thing, i just didnt want to *stomach growl* ha um i didnt want to say like "no were good" without knowing if you were done ordering *coughing*

bright: yeah same here, same here

tallstar: right

the waiter comes back with the drinks

waiter: heres your water and heeres youur orange juice. have you decided what you guys want to eat yet?

bright: not really, i still need some time to think

tallstar: yeah i uh forgot to look im sorry

waiter: thats fine, enjoy your drinks and ill be back later to check up on you guys ok?

tallstar and bright simultaneously:

just kidding, bright says ok but tallstar coughs

the waiter leaves again and bright takes a sip of orange juice and the whole thing is pretty awkward its like awful i feel like this script is bad but i! dont care :)

tallstar: ok yeah this is *noise* starting to feel like a date

bright: yeah, youre right, my bad. youre a pretty good date, though

tallstar (flustered): wh-dont flirt with me!!! thhats just makes it.,,, more of a date!!,,..

bright: sorry aa!!

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

bright part 3: revenge of the fallen

''-_--_-''

tallstar and bright have gotten their food. bright ended up ordering some kind of omelet and tallstar got some pancakes. ooh babay

bright takes a bite of his omelete

bright: hey this is really good

tallstar: what did you order

bright: uh the *reading off the menu* "hey cool wow omelete". hows your pancakes?

tallstar: theyre the *gasp* "cool guy flappetty jacketties" and i havent tried them yet. who names these things? haha

bright: yeah i know righ—

bright has a sudden and shocking revelation: he has no idea whatsoever how tallstar eats, or if he needs help, or if he eats at all or.,, anything.

and now he wants to know

bright: –t.

but is it rude to ask?? it seems kind of. strange and personal but like. it seems like something people always would be asking... like is he tired of explaining? i

bright just looks down at his plate just. like eyes widened from shock and surprise you know?? not that you can see the eyes since. bright is very. glowing.

absentmindedly poking at his omelete, bright just wants to avoid eye contact? but of course bright remembers that nobody can see his face, and therefore no matter what face he makes nobody will be the wiser that. hes making a really weird face. like the face you make when you arent sure if you should say something that you really want to say.

tallstar: oh this tastes good

bright looks up at tallstar and then down at tallstars plate to see a big bite taken out of his pancake

bright:

bright: can i ask you kind of a personal question

tallstar: uh..,,

tallstar: ..yeah ok sure

bright: its just

bright: how did you... eat that

tallstar: oh... hahaha!! i thought it was ... gonna be really personal!

tallstar laughs genuinely and bright laughs nervously

tallstar: no but like check it out its *half cough* really cool look

he then turns sideways and uses his arm thing to cut a piece of his pancake out, then he leans down forward and pokes his arm thing through the pancake, and then he leans backward and lets the pancake slide down his arm (he doesnt eat it with syrup or this would be real gross) and land on the weird circle thing at his center torso dealie. then he sort of. the circle part just. absorbs the pancake slowly. its. wow. what the. wh. ok. hwow. ok. alright. uhhhhh

bright: w— wow.

tallstar: pretty cool right??

bright:

bright: yes

,,_-__-_,,

#long post #tallstar #bright #im just posting this how i had it #the jony hotel #enjoy

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thatgirlwhoworksforwhatshew-blog · 4 years

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tarak,

lets not beat around the bush, i miss you. like alot.

im not even going to get into what are the things that keep reminding me of th time we had, because thatd be me listing out my every minute of the day. yes, there are times when i remember you not for the good-reasons, but mostly i end up wanting to think of you instead of living in such a denial of ‘im over you’.

i know you must be going through alot, im not trying to compare us here, on who is feeling it more deeply, quality and quantity- how much ever of a utilitarian i claim to be, i want to be stupidly selfish enough to say i feel it hit me very hard. especially when i see people around me claim their relationships to be like the epitome of perfection and love, i just cant help but think of the beautiful masterpiece we could have made together.

they say ‘chaos brings art’., that, time will tell. until then, ill just sit around and feel things like how its supposed to be.

i hope its not that hard on you.whom am i kidding, how much ever i convince myself that you will get over me, by pouring alot of ‘hate’ like how your friends wanted you to, im still silly enough to hope that you wouldnt be that harsh on me. gosh, this is never going to happen is it? im only going to die in dissapointment of letting things go this far, and getting nothing in return(when i now have the chance) or do i?

i know you, i know the charm, i know how you effect people, and how much ever stupid and goofy you get around me, i know what you are- or atleast i knew. why did we let things go this recklessly? i was immature, but why dint we sort things out then and there. gosh, i just cant look at the word jodhpur without a little guilt., i cannot look at any word starting with a T, and has both R and K.

do you have any idea how many songs have the word tara, taraka, in them? its like some stupid prank someone is pulling on me. my mom also began to ask me how youre doing, she out of everyone, made an assumption that my mood is practically proportional to my time on my phone and phone calls, which basically is only with you. so she goes like “oh, tarak dint call today” after few days, she began to wonder if things were fine with you, and i burst out angrily, that ‘you should be fine because youre avoiding me’. please be true! anyway, i dont care where this questioning is coming from, but i reasoned out how this equation of my good moods being equated with our calls, was a little irring in the beginning, because i dont think i need some ONE person to keep me happy. it was a troubling thought which i used to hold a grudge on myself for depending on you for what ever greedy reasons. but i began to realise how first, that wasnt the case. i wsnt greedy on this reason, i was just looking for a support and a person to share my happiness with. i was greedy maybe when it came to things like, eventhough i knew it was hard for you, i was still there poking things and making it harder for you. TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU NOW BLOCKED ME. WOW. im not blaming you, maybe you did the right thing. maybe if you dint do that, we could have pulled each others hair out in this menace. but did we really do the right thing if i am feeling this way right now? whats the point tarak?

its 10:10 right now. wow.

honestly, there are times when i thank myself for this space, because i really enjoy doing things for myself, but by the end of the day, i really hoped that youd call or email, so that i could tell you about all the amazing things i read, watched, discovered and i desperately want to share them with you, but i cant!

i got back to my bubble, my day basically revolves around reading and arranging my library. i still hold heidi close to myself when i sleep every night. i really regret not finishing it for you. but i dont know how much meaning she hold to you anyway. shes my world, she is the first thing i was obsessed with, and i thought she’d bring you similar joy, but now we never know i guess.

ive been doing philosophy for NET, although i havent started in serious mode, illl get there soon. i applied for an internship navdhanya, and have made plans of what to do with life., quite roughly. i even made a bucket list, of things i should try, filled with things that fascinate me. sample, fireflies. i never saw them in real life. and now i feel bad just by that thought. but yeah, i was pretty serious wheni made that list, and i keep adding things into it every now and then. i dont know why i mentioned this now, but i felt like it. ohh, since im updating about life, i should mention how i spoke to dad(basically, a mail) about most of the things i could never say to him, mostly stressing on how now i should be left unbothered.

since i couldnt give rockstar another chance, sorry boss, the thought of having to go through that actress’ bad acting for three hours was itself torturous., i found the screenplay/script of the movie., and let me tell you how good i felt after reading it. i had better actors in my mind, and i dreamt about it for a couple of nights. it was a rollercoaster. i think screenplays do that to you. its like reading the book instead of watching the movie, but rockstar has to do with the songs, and since i had a clue about them, i can justify now. and i think i understand you better now, but i dont know, my timing of watching the movie is like another satire. not just this one, many more. gosh, i have like an entire saga of things i could use to cry over to. the other day, i cried while reading tagore poetry, although that was a worthy reason, its crazy how i dont know what little thing could be a trigger.

but how much ever i might try to romanticize all of this, tarak, i really think apart from the happy and goofy times we spent, which dont actually matter as much if we look back(except for nostagia purposes) id say we both needed a better versions, and both of us seperately too needed to be honest with what we are.. not just in showing the other person. im talking about myself mostly. and, for what ever we had, id hate to call it, but because of the lack of a better word, lets admit, we were toxic. and i have to say, how much ever you tried to get over your ego and wanted to be a feminist, looking back at minute details of the interactions we had, plus from the ones you talk about to others, i realised how often there were times when you basically preached something and failed to follow. im slightly ashamed to admit this, but i have gone through a phase of man-hating when i realised the things i have seen around, thats basically when i realised how these could be the things you failed to see, (and prolly reasoned out for good enough reasons) but somewhere deep inside, i know its not so.like i read it in some book, (which bt the way, i should say felt like i was reading line by line about you) because it talks about how men who seem woke, but still choose to do the same thing, although for different reasons(or so they claim) is another result of the system. and i just cringed at this thought. because im sorry, but i felt it multiple times in our stay together.

tarak, honestly how much ever im loving reading and researching, im afraid im getting very theoretical. now i cannot stop myself from pin pointing mistakes in everything, and am clearly missing out the beauty in things. if i learned one thing, love is for people who want to give up reason. if you are too calculated and stubborn, you can never love. im not saying im getting calculated and all brains-no-heart, but im slanting that way, and im just afraid i might never find redemption because i like this more. id choose this over love. for now. im sure time will prove me different, but let me tell you how much i value reading and art.

i guess we never spoke about this, why did we not?

you know the whole ‘books are my bestfriends’? this is literally my life summarized. in my entire time at indus, i basically spent most of the time in the library, or in the washroom- where i used to sneak in, to bunk science classes. i had a reading tree also. under which i used to read in the sports period. prajeeth was a science guy, and the labs were right opposite to the library, so he used to keep a check on me, i often got late to catch my evening bus, so he’d make sure i dint. not to forget the music room. that was another room i spent some quality time in. while the library was in the first floor of the new building, the music room was in a circular room, on the terranc. the whole terrace was for music and art. we had a lot of empty open area where we were given assignments in. i love that place. id want to take you there one day, if, you know...

so as i was saying, i just prefer reading and listening over anything. at this point, it feels like i know nothing apart from these both. i know you wouldnt agree with me being a good listener, but i know me, and i know im good.

well, now about us, i dont know. i really dont. i may say id be happy if you move on, and find yourself a woman, but i dont know if i can say it at this point, when im clearly meaning it. so, i can only hope for you to become a stronger person, collecting yourself from all of the past. and if you’re moving on, good for you., but id like to take my own sweet time with my memories of you,us, and laugh cry cringe all at once slowly. im not sating im attempting to get over you, because somehow that is making me think about you even more, and its actually making me want you for a whole different list of reasons. ill stick to this natural flow, and ill see you when i see you, years from now, or maybe more. somehow in the midst of some really stupid portions, there are some things you set a high limit in, for men to fill in- who might enter my life. so its going to be a big deal if i commit to someone tarak, and id still want to share about it with you, i dont know if that comes out from mere friendship or more, but i dont mind either ways.

i want to say this one last thing, because ive been wanting to say it for a long time, after the phone call.

it might be years later that we meet,and finally talk, when ever it is, how ever long it has been, if you turned out a good man, not just rational and responsible but realist and a romantic., id love for me to fall for you all over again, or maybe fall correctly* this time, until then ill wait.

i want to wait.

that’s me. there are surely many more things i want to say, but i will wait, like i said, and its not like youre going to read this, so its fine. ill look forward for what is coming, i hope you are healthy and are fine (at the least). i miss akbar, i hope aunty is not having a hard time seeing you break down anymore, i hope thats not the case, dont cry tarak! did you stop smoking? i was thinking about it on the 26th, i hope youre sticking to your resolution. i miss the smell of it, i sometimes open my specs-case to smell it, and it reminds me alot of you and red rum. its amazing. i miss it all, i miss you guys alot, i miss you babu. take care.

raaga.

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zachthevagabond · 6 years

Text

Next Stop...Portugal!

It’s Thursday afternoon here in Luxembourg. As you know, that means Friday afternoon for me -with my balling four-day teaching schedule! It’s 10:45am and I just got home from the lycée. I taught one lesson this morning on the American Education system, and then did an hour of rubric grading with Liane for another class.

I think my kids really enjoyed the lesson today. They thought it was so interesting to compare and contrast what school is like in Luxembourg and the United States. I showed them some videos of cheerleaders, and they were surprised to see that the football-cheerleading-prom depictions of American high school in the movies isn’t all that far from our reality. My students in this class are the equivalent of high school juniors, and I have to say that they are one of my classes. I also have to point out here that I say this about every single one of my classes that I teach...why have I been the luckiest teacher on the planet to always have such great students during every chapter of my teaching experience?!

Next week, I am taking on a new class at the lycée. They are cinquièmes in the Luxembourgish system, which translates to 8th grader/high school freshmen in English. They will be the youngest students that I have had in Luxembourg. Their teacher is Marina, a twenty-something-year-old hipster teacher who could pass for an American with the most American English you’d ever heard from a foreigner. She studied at the University of Hawaii (are you as jealous as I am?) as well as the University of Rochester. Small world, or what? Needless to say, I am so pumped to be working with her this upcoming semester, and to be teaching a new level.

I’m currently writing this while throwing a backpack together for Portugal. That’s right, PORTUGAL! Taylor is teaching until around noon today, and then she and I are off! Our flight is at 6pm tonight, but we’ve planned to head into Luxembourg City early to enjoy lunch together and then wander around the city before heading to the airport this afternoon. As is our little tradition, the restaurant of choice for lunch is Pizza Hut. Sometimes you just need a taste of home!

I am beyond excited for our four day weekend get-away, and we have decided that this trip will be entitled “Eating and Drinking Our Way Through Portugal.” Taylor and I both have Portuguese students (did you know that the highest immigrant population in Luxembourg is the Portuguese?), and we’ve told them about our upcoming trip. They’re ecstatic that their American teachers are able to see their home country, and provided us with all kinds of tips and restaurant recommendations. Despite a great deal of discrimination that Portuguese immigrants face in Luxembourg, I have personally found my Portuguese students to be the most hardworking, good-hearted, and animated students that I’ve ever had in class.

I say this about every time I post, but I’m sorry that I don't find time to post more often. Life happens so fast here, and it’s impossible to share everything with you. Please know that I miss you as much as you miss me reading this, and I promise to be better with the blog to keep you on this wild adventure with me.

I’ve decided to divide the rest of this update into sections to give you the most information in the most concise and efficient matter (if that sentence isn’t indicative of some of my Germanic genetics LOL)!

Here goes it...

Current Obsession on Netflix: Outlander. I am completely invested in it. Some of the English teacher that I work with at my lycée were talking about it a couple of weeks back, and I wanted to watch it to have a perspective to add to the conversation. I’ve become obsessed with it. I’m currently on episode 11 of season one. I highly recommend to anyone looking to start a new series.

Currently on my playlist: Is music not a great way to think of people? Check out some of these songs. Know that on trains and planes 4,000 miles away, I’ll be jamming out to the same ones.

Lucky Strike [Troye Silvan]

J’aurais voulu être un artiste [Nicole Croisille]

No Matter What [Calum Scott]

Come Home [OneRepublic]

Fool for You [ZAYN]

Just like a Pill [Pink]

Balance ton quoi [Angèle]

American [Lana Del Rey]

Toute ces choses [Céline Dion]

Health: My knees are lower back are still really bothering me. I’ve seen a really good chiropractor here who has reset certain areas in my back and legs, but the pain creeps back shortly after visiting him. I’m currently not running or doing anything too extensive at the gym for fear of making matters worse. I was almost 15,000 steps a day, so I am at least keeping myself active in that sense. I think something is seriously wrong. When returning to the U.S. in July, I want to see some specialists to know what the F*$% is going on with my body. I’m 23 years old, and was running six miles a day this time last year. Weight gain nightmares keep me up at night, because I can’t exercise as much and in the ways that I use to be doing regularly.

I’m moving. Again. Yes, you read that correctly. This will be my third and final time being displaced from the fire incident back in September. The University Housing has informed us that we will be leaving our studios and move across the street to a smaller room without a kitchen. I still can’t cook, so the kitchen poses no problem to me. I am looking forward to lower rent, as well as having a new space. Taylor will be in the same building as me, so there’s not one thing about this move that I have the right to complain about.

I’ll have a green tea, please! As per my New Year’s Resolution post back at the end of December, I am actively trying to reduce my daily consumption of coffee. No, I haven’t completely given up the bean of wonder, but I am reducing how many cups I have a day and trying to not drink it on the weekends. While I always drink my coffee black, green tea seems to be emerging in the dieting world as the most beneficial caffeinated drink for health and weight maintenance. I do have to admit, I’m becoming a fan of the taste!

Upcoming travel: Taylor and I are planning a trip to Morocco for spring break. It will be my first time in Africa, and the second time for her. We haven’t booked anything yet, but have started to compare prices and look into the best airline deals. I am also dying to go to Switzerland, which will be the last Francophone country on my list to visit in Western Europe. After watching Outlander, I have also recently become obsessed with the rolling hills and fog scenes of Scotland and Ireland. Have you seen some of the pictures of these countries online? We are thinking of trying to head to the ‘highlands’ and Ireland for a four or five day weekend, but we have to see how our $$ situation is after Portugal and Morocco. I hope I wasn’t the only one who didn’t realize that Ireland was on a different landmass than England and Scotland?

Melissa Etheridge: After learning that one of my favorite lesbian chill artists is coming to Luxembourg, I pulled the trigger. As a birthday gift to myself and my sister-from-another-mister, I bought Taylor and I tickets for the end of February. I can’t even tell you the last time I went to a concert, but I am so much looking forward to it. We have been blasting her music together every time we hang out.

New Friends: Taylor and I have been blessed with some new friends this past week. We met a group of expats living here in Luxembourg from Turkey, Spain, and Sri Lanka. Among them is our new friend Thambo, who is an executive at J.P. Morgan Luxembourg. One of the most well-traveled and cultured people I have ever met, Taylor and I are infatuated with his stories and take on living as an expat in Luxembourg. We also have a new friend that comes from Normandy. His name is Mayeul, and he is just finishing up his third masters degree before going to law school back in France. He lives in the city, and Taylor and I see him a couple of times a week for drinks. The three of us are trying to plan a weekend trip somewhere close together one of these upcoming weekends.

Conclusive Statement: If I could be doing anything anywhere in the world right now, it would be exactly what I’m doing right here in this moment. And that realization, ladies and gents, makes me one happy dude. ZJ

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yourcertainstudentlight-blog · 6 years

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I'm an adult and looking for a good car insurance that's pretty affordable for the age group 18-24. I know that's it's more expensive for young adults due to reckless driving. I want esurance but I was looking for opinions on others I haven't thought about yet.

Moped Insurance for my 16yr old son?

I am looking for moped insurance for my son. I am going to be paying for it and i would like to do it monthly. Does anyone know of some cheap insurers? And also should i insure it in my name or his name? Ive tried a few and because ive been putting in my sons name they wont alllow me to pay monthly as he is under the age of eighteen. Also if i put in my name, i havn't taken a bike test. Do i need to take a bike test to insure a moped in my name? Im sooooooo confused!!!!!! Please help!""

Worries about insurance with a tracker?

Being a 19 year old male who lives in London, insurance was clearly going to be a problem. I have however found some decent quotes which include having a tracker fitted. Now, I don't mind it too much but I do have some worries: a) The location/address: on the quote, I provided a relative's address which is outside of London (the address is about 40 to 50 minutes away from my actual address). Consequently, the price was cut by about half! The worry I have is that if I have a tracker installed, won't it be obvious to the insurer that this isn't my real home address when they see me parking and basically using my actual address instead of the relatives'? I won't be anywhere near the relative's address b) Speed limits: I once read somewhere that '90%+ people go over the speed limit' and although I don't know how true this is, it's clear from driving that in some areas, going at 30 causes delays and its a bit daunting when you're at the limit but everyone else is just speeding past. How much would this change the insurance? c) Price: is the price of the quote they provide the limit? What I mean is if they see bad driving with the tracker, could it increase the quote or is there a limit? Thanks for any help :) P.S Happy new year!""

Car insurance?

does your physical health affect your car insurance rates?

Is car insurance higher if your car only has two doors?

If your car has two doors, instead of four, is the price of car insurance higher?""

Can auto insurance company refuse to pay claims if Company Vehicle?

I have a company vehicle for 5 years now and ok to use for personal needs. Now they have come out with new company policy. It states if in an accident on weekends or whenever it is used for personal reasons and I am in an at fault accident all damages and claims will be denied. Another words if I get in a wreck and do damages to vehicles, bodily injury or whatever while driving after work hours or weekends their insurance company will not pay any claims. It states I am responsible for all damages if using for personal use in an at fault accident. Question is can they actually do that. Can their insurance legally deny all claims due to the fact the I was using the vehicle outside of normal hours and for personal use.""

Health insurance internationally?

im traveling to france and i need to know if my health insurance will still be valid there. if i have to go to the hospital will they accept my american insurance card? i have aetna insurance.

Need advice on car insurance excess cost?

I had a bad accident yesterday morning and I payed to bring my car home but I didn't inform my insurance company yet because I haven't got the excess fee at the moment. The car seems to be a write off according to the police and the locals who helped me while I was in shock but will there be a problem if I waited a few days until I have the excess cost ready then I'll tell the insurance company what happened? It wasnt my fault and also the traffic lights were out of order at that junction as this person came at high speed hitting my car at the left corner sending me flying towards the road to the right and onto the pavement. I've gathered pictures of everything for evidence. But the problem is at the moment I cant afford the excess fee, If i let the insurance company know will they ask me to pay right away?""

""I am 66 years old, can I get health insurance??? how about medicare???} how dan I proceed?""

I am 66 years old, can I get health insurance??? how about medicare???} how dan I proceed?""

How much trouble would I get into if I drove my car without any plates or insurance?

My other cars engine blew out and I was just going to put that cars plate onto my other one (which doesn't have any plates or insurance) I live in MI..Im pretty sure its not a felony, the other one was registered to me until i transfered the plates and insurance onto the car thats engine blew.""

Car insurance confusion: Honda Jazz & Ford Fiesta... help please?

Hi there guys, I am sorry if this is a boring run of the mill question with an obvious answer, but I am seriously confused! I have two prospect cars to chose between, one is a Honda Jazz, and one is a Ford Fiesta, now to my knowledge the Jazz's insurance group should be around 11-14, (new 1-50 ranking) and the Fiesta should be around 8. A number of sites have confirmed this to be true. But trying to get actual insurance quotes, the Jazz is coming out cheaper, by at least 300. (This is with my details and the rest of the policy identical) I thought insurance group was the only factor of the car that changed the insurance, or is there another factor? I am a newly passed driver if that changes anything?""

Insurance at sixteen?

How much would it cost for me to insure an irocz at sixteen its a three fifty five speed stock?

How much wil my insurance go up?

I was just recently in a car accident. It was my fault I hit a truck and totalled my car. The truck didnt seem to really have damage I hit the metal ball where you attatch a trailer the hitch. I have fred loya car insurance. how much will my insurance go up? Please. will rate best answer.

About bussines car insurance.?

I have plan to be selfemployed(car mechanic) and I wanna use my own car for my bussines proposal.So what kind of insurance i need to buy? I have problem to choose between trade insurance and bussines car insurance. Sometimes I will need to use my customer's car to pick them up to garage, but mostly I will use my own car and I wanna put advertise sticker on my car with my contact details. (one time i was stopped by police and I had before adverise on my car without bussines insurance, but they let me go and I had to take the stickers off) Have you any idea about which insurance is better? Many thanks""

Insurance for young drivers?

Hey, i'm a young male who passed his test recently and the insurance quotes I have been getting have been eye popping. Just over 4,000 my quotes have been. I live in the city and dont have a garage or driveway etc and know that can effect the premium but I want a diesel which is insurance group 3, does that have major effect on the premium? I need a little advice on how to go about this""

Insurance on a 2004 Infiniti G35 Coupe?

I am 17 and thinking of buying a G35 coupe in September (will be 18) for school. I was wondering how much the insurance would be, this will be my first car and I've never got a speeding ticket before or been in a crash.""

Motorcycle Insurance question?

I'm going to take the MSF course on Saturday and my understanding was that you're insurance is going to be cheaper and I will like to know why it will be cheaper

Where can I find cheap car insurance in Florida? Please help!?

I am a 16 year old girl and live in Florida. I have my learners permit and plan on getting my license in January. I waited awhile to get my permit and only a few months later I was involved in a car accident. My mother told me to go and we were hit from the side and then went into another car. Nobody was killed but two cars were totaled. I took a correction course and got rid of the points on my license. 6 months later I was in my friends car going to the mall when we stopped at a red light. A teenage boy behind us did not stop and we were rear ended. I went to the doctor and have a herniated disk in my lower back. My parents were going to buy me a car until they called our insurance company. They have USAA, who said i would be $500 a MONTH to insure me due to the multiple accidents I have been in. I didn't know they were allowed to charge someone for being a passenger in an accident that they were not at fault for! I need help in finding cheap insurance. Any suggestions?""

Car insurance company may be lowballing me?

someone hit my car 2 weeks ago which was a 1993 lexus ls 400 ( i know its an old car) and yes he did admit fault on the report and to his insurance company .the problem is they called me stating that there offer is $1600 ,because of previous rust on my car.let me 1st say that is bull i have pictures of my car pre-accident and post accident .there was no damage until there insured hit me.also ,they sent me an appraisal listing of the same cars in my area from dealers to come up with local market value but when i looked up the same cars that was sent to me the prices the insurance company sent wasnt the same prices the dealer had marked for there cars also ,when i asked them why this was and that i also found cars with higher mileage with prices of $3500 plus they said they dont go by dealer pricing,so my next question is why did they send false dealer estimates to me then?and when i looked at the appraisers notes certain items like sunroof ,heated seats etc. wasnt included.i haven't had an accident in over 6yrsso someone who has been in this situtation please give me advice how to handle this . is the price they gave me fair or are they lowballing me ? and are the tactics they are using a usual thing? aaaaggghhh!!!they are making me nuts!!! thanks for all answers in advance!!!""

What is the cheapest insurance?

where could i find the cheapest insurance plan for me with any company. Im mainly trying to figure out what the insurance will be costing with the certain car I will be getting. I am 15 years old currently but will be turning 16 soon and when it comes time for my license during the summer I would like to know how much insurance will be. I already know what type of car im getting, A 1998 Camaro z28. Would it be extremely pricy or not too pricy, i just need a ball type figure. once again with ANY COMPANY, what would be the cheapest for a 16 year old with a 1998 camaro z28? thanks""

How would a life insurance company know if you were a cigarette smoker?

They would obviously want to charge you more if you smoked, so do they just take your word for it?""

life insurance quotes for seniors over 85

Do I have to pay for car insurance if I am overseas?

I just got a job to teach English in Japan. I was hoping I can leave my car at my parents' house. Now, do I have to pay for car insurance even if I am not using my vehicle? I have been told that I do and that bugs the crap out of me. Thanks!""

BEST AFFORDABLE MEDICAL INSURANCE FOR NEWLYWEDS (NO KIDS)?

HUSBAND MAKES MORE, SO NOW NO LONGER QUALIFY FOR MY INSURANCE. WHICH IS THE BEST INSURANCE FOR PEOPLE WITH NO KIDS, AND WHICH IS THE BEST WHEN WE DECIDE TO HAVE KIDS? AND WHY? THANKS SO MUCH, THIS IS A PAIN IN THE REAR...""

Typically Cheapest Auto Insurance Company in Massachusetts?

Suggestions anyone? Anyone shopped around and found a company that is better overall?

Motorcycle Insurance?

I would like to purchase a motorcycle this summer, something between 500 CC and 650 CC. I was wondering what my insurance rate would be. I am 19 years old and currently pay 2000 a year for my 06 Subaru Impreza. I have a clean driving record and currently have nationwide insurance.""

How much would car insurance be for a 16 or 17 yr old guy?

im 16 now, ready to get my first car and drive, but i need a steady job to pay for my insurance. so being young and a male, how much should i be looking to pay?""

Teenager car insurance help?

Okay! I am a 17 year old male who has been driving in total for 2 years and I have unfortunately had 2 accidents. The first occurred in May of last year. I pulled out of a gas station trying to turn left so I had to cross two lanes of oncoming traffic ( I was in an unfamiliar vehicle) I could not see the lane closest to the middle and I went out further then I thought and the oncoming car took off the front bumper. The second accident occurred 04/14 I was driving to school and there was a man ahead of me who had his signal light on for the past 4 miles it was pouring down rain so I looked over to change lanes and when maybe I looked for to long I'm not sure but wheeI turned back the man had come to a complete stop in preparation to turn from a highway onto a dirt road. I slammed on my brakes they locked up I couldn't steer away and I hit him in the rear. My question is. Is this going to keep happening to me? Am I really that bad of a driver? and what insurance company is best for my situation as my parents are removing me from their policy. Any help would be appreciated!

What auto insurance covers for pizza delivery?

i just got a pizza delivery job, but my insurance won't cover it, and she said that most if not all auto insurances do not cover it.... obviously people deliver pizza, what company covers pizza delivery?""

Why do people spend so much on insurance?

I mean other than general health and drug insurance.

How much does car insurance cost for 17 years old driver?

My parents have their policy from travelers and i tried getting quote online. What it showed for 2002 NISSAN MAXIMA that i have to pay 600 for month and for liability insurance 450 I think thats wrong information because my friend is 16 and pay 186 for 2 full coverage insurance and one liability. Any one had experience or know some information about 17 year old insurance rates please help me. THANK YOU.

Should I get full coverage on my cavalier (Car insurance)?

I have a 2005 Chevy Cavalier, I currently have liability insurance. I've already been in an accident, and fortunately it was minor enough for me to get parts at a junkyard. Should I upgrade to full coverage? United auto insurance, wants $186 down and $147 monthly for 6 months. My current company wants $262 down and $131 a month, for 9 months. Which company is the better deal? Should I even get full coverage""

How much would insurance for a 16 year old(male) driving a BMW 2006 650i be?

My parents have no accidents or tickets ect that they look at when you're getting a quote. I just bet them that I could get a quote for this car without them ^_^ I livee in washington 98037. Verryy Much appreciated if you could try and see how much the quote would be. Also, I have a 3.8GPA. (P.S. Don't Be A Stalker)""

What will insurance premiums be?

I had heard that with the new Obama healthcare system if you have to purchase health insurance on your own your premiums will be based on your income. Is this true? thanks

Tips for cheaper car insurance. Please?!?

Im a 15 years old male, looking to buy a car. I've talked to my dad about insurance and he said I need to gget a car that is going to be cheap on insurance. He told me not to smoke. And get a 4 door car. And a car that isn't red or yellow or orange. Any other tips you can give me, to keep in mind, while im shopping for a car? Thanks""

Do i need to add extra car insurance?

Hello. My father has a BMW and i am 16. When i am 17 i want to share the BMW with my father. My father has insurance on the car already. Its a full cover insurance. When i am 17 do i need to add extra insurance to the car or do i just leave it as it is? Do i need to add my name along with my dads name to the owner of the car?

Help me find a good auto insurance company for pizza delivery?

I live in Brisbane QLD. Can you guys help me find the best insurance company that offers commercial insurance with the smallest excess at the least premium. I'm going to be using my car for delivering pizza. Obviously I'm not expecting anything cheap because most insurance companies are in it for the money, not the customer. I've looked at RACQ and some other more well known companies, is there anyone else I should check?""

""Just got a quote for 10,000 for my car insurance?!?!?""

i was getting a quote from comparison websites and the cheapest quote i received was 10,000. i also put my mother on the policy who has over 25 years driving experience and also switched to third party. what else could i do to lower the insurance costs.. im buying an audi a3 but is there any other way i could lower the insurance, thanks everyone""

How much will pay a 40 year old new driver car insurance?

Who is the cheapest car insurer for 2011?

my car insurance has gone up 140 this year

""Does your car ins really drop at 25, and how much?""

How much does it typically drop for a woman? If I pay 82 a month now, how much can I expect it will go down? I have nothing on my drivers record, no accidents or tickets, claims, ...show more""

Will my insurance cost more this year?

hello people ... so i was wondering if anyone thinks my insurance will cost more this year. i have a motorbike honda cbr125. last year it cost me 450 to insure. looking at the insurance this year it says around 550-650 will mine be this much?

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 16 year old?

If I'm a 16 year old male in Texas, what would be an average price for insurance on a newer model sports bike 750cc""

How much is car insurance monthly for a new driver in Indiana about?

thanks :)

What is some cheap medical insurance?

I am 18 and I live in alabama and I really need to know what some good cheap medical insurance any suggestions?

Small business insurance?

My friend is starting a small handyman business, and we were discussing liability insurance. Does anyone know the requirements for the state of FL and any decent and affordable companies?""

Where can i find the cheapest insurance quote for a 95 Dodge neon?

I pay 140$ a month at dairy land Proggresive, I have about 10 points on my liscense, and when are my liscence points deleted from my insurance""

life insurance quotes for seniors over 85

Unemployment Insurance in California?

I currently receive unemployment insurance. On the check stub it states that my claim expires on 07/2008, although the balance noted on there is less than what I usually receive. I believe its because the 6 month period has ended. My questions is, can I reopen up the claim? Am I still eligible to receive my unemployment insurance until my claim has expired which is 07/2008? I was told that you can claim unemployment insurance for a year, so I don't understand why I only received it for 6 months. I was with my previous employer for 7 years, so it's not like I worked wherever for a short period of time. And I am actively seeking a job, although I have a few expectations so I haven't accepted any offers plus I'm a single mother and I have to work around my parent's schedule cause its way too expensive to leave my daughter at a decent daycare that I can trust. Hopefully someone out there can help me with a few information.""

Insurance for a mobility scooter?

Would anyone be able to recommend a UK company who can provide insurance for a mobility scooter, preferably payable monthly via direct debit? All I can find is companies that want immediate full payment, which is not an option for my 70 year old mum.""

Is it true that if you buy a brand new car the car insurance will be much more than a second hand car?

Why?? I'm going to buy the very first car for me (a mazda 3 hatchpack 2006 or 2008..) and I want it to be new cause I can afford any price. But my dad keeps telling me not to buy a new car cause i won't be having good bennefits from it..such as the car insurance. It will be higher than a second hand car's...around 1000 euros every year. Also the car insurance must be full if it's a new car and I should have it on 1/3 cause its cheaper. So if it's a new car I can't have it on 1/3. What do you think I should do? I really want that car and that's why I want it to be new..cause it's the one I've always wanted!

Young driver car insurance?

I am a nineteen year old male struggling to find cheap car insurance. any ideas.?

Cheap derbi insurance?

hey im 16 the end of the month and i am getting a derbi gpr 50. my question is, where can i find really cheap insurance for this bike in the UK?""

What health insurance is best and affordable for my wife?

We had a baby 3 months ago, but I am looking for health insurance that is good and affordable for my wife. Any suggestions?""

Where can i get the cheapest car insurance?

Im a 16 year old male who lives in new orleans. I have a 3.8 GPA and no one in my immediate family has been in a wreck in the previous 5 years. Where can i get affordable insurance?

Do you need insurance to get a license in the state of Florida?

I am seventeen years old and still haven't gotten my driver's license. I've been driving with a permit for more than enough time, been to driver's education courses, all that like. My question is this. Must I have insurance to have a Driver's license? Is it possible for me to have the license without insurance?""

What is the cheapest car insurance?

I'm 17 and i'm after buying a car. I have my full licence but every time i look for insurance its 8,000. Whats the best Car to buy, with cheap insurance and who with. Thanks""

Cheapest auto insurance. (perferably one I can apply for online)?

I bought a 2007 Nissan Sentra in New Mexico. I am 18 and my fiance is 23. What is the cheapest insurance you have found? I would be the primary driver.

Car insurance before buying a car?

I live in Pennsylvania and am new to car buying. Do I need to have car insurance before buying a car from a dealer? And if yes, then would I be able to buy the car immediately after getting the insurance?""

Wife is pregnant and we have no insurance?

Hi everyone. Just found out last night that the wife's 7 weeks pregnant (yay!) but we don't have health insurance (boo!). I live in California and was told there is something called Medi-Cal (?) that helps people who are low-income and don't have health insurance in their pregnancy needs but I don't know if I qualify. My gross monthly income is $3000. Also, if I don't qualify I heard there is a low cost insurance called AIM? Anybody who's ever had dealings with Medi-cal or AIM your pointers and experience will be muchly appreciated!! Thanks! Excited but scared of becoming a daddy!! AHHHH!!!""

How much would car insurance cost for...?

a 19 yr old girl just married, who recently obtained license (within a year)? Liability only, in monroeville PA. Cheapest company? Best rate? Thanks!""

I am looking for an eye docter that takes any insurance in los angeles california?

for kids that will give contacts

Can anyone suggest me a auto insurance company?

i have japan based luxury car. my friend saying pay insurance in a good company. so i am searching company? thank you.

Should I not put my husband on the car insurance???

Here is the deal... hubby got a ticket in January.... for a DWAI (first ticket ever). So our car insurance is going up. But we are getting a new car tomorrow... so I'm going to have to either find new insurance, or put the new car on our insurance and have it go up probably about $100. Should I just get insurance in my name so we can save the $? I don't think I can afford more than $70 a month for insurance! And we have to get collision because we are getting a loan....""

How much would insurance cost on a 2 door car?

I wanted to get a 2 door car mainly on a Toyota Celica 2000 or a Ford Mustang and I was just wondering how much insurance it would be?

Will it make my car insurance go up?

My brother is not on my car insurance policy. He was pulled over and arrested for DUI and Failure to Maintain Lane. I want to know what kind of affect that will have on my insurance.

What is a 2Dr car that has low insurance rates?

around $5,000 range runs well""

A GOOD first car that is great for insurance?

i need a car that will b a good first car for a 16 year old male. it has to be reliable, safe, low cost, and has to have low insurance. any suggestions?""

Do I HAVE to pay for insurance if im not driving but have a license?

My mom is trying to tell me and my brother (who is 19 and I will be 18 in about a month which is when i will get my license) that we cant get a license unless we have money to buy insurance. I think its really f***ed up for a student who got a license and doesnt drive any vehicle has to pay for insurance. She says that once i get my license, the insurance company will force her to put me on her plan so i can be insured. I think its a load of sh*t. I have never heard of anyone being forced to have insurance when they dont drive. When i say dont drive i mean, when i get my license, i wont be driving until I get my own car. Please dont respond to my situation and how i should deal with it, just tell me if thats even possible for the insurance to do that.""

Cheapest car insurance for a 18 year old female?

I have recently passed my driving test and all my quotes are coming up as 9,000 all the way to 30,000 which i dont think is normal. I know that insurance for teenagers is high but what is a average price I should be looking for and what websites will I find a decent quote? I have a 2002 vauxhall corsa 3 doors. I have tried all comparing websites which have given me the prices above and all 'black box' companies will not give me a quote as they are 'not available' to. Any help will be appreciated :)""

Jeep Vs Car Insurance?

hey i am a 17 male. i was just wondering would insurance for a jeep be cheaper then insurance on a car since you would be less likely to rally around a jeep, and other dangerous driving etc.. i am also wondering if a 2L jeep would be dear to insure for a 17 male, since it is a jeep. thanks :)""

Does the cost of my insurance for driving get reduced when I turn from 16 to 17?

Emancipated 16 year old car insurance help?

I am currently living with my parents and am soon to be emancipated. I was looking at some geico quotes, turned out for minimal coverage was 475$ per month. This was outragous and obviously way to much for any one to be able to afford. To have the type of coverage i would like was 10,000$ per year, the numbers were staggering. Anyway my question is it possible to get insurance at 16 years old on your own for a resonable price. If so with what car insurance company. I have a 3.0 and a perfect driving record, i do drive a camero z28 so i understand its going to be a little higher than average....""

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cheap-auto-insurance-florida-frank-reyes/"

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valorousowl · 7 years

Text

So I'd said I'd complain here. Because I want to. But I also don't want to. Under the cut because sensitive shit.

My father died two weeks ago on Sunday. I've made about 3 posts about that. Last week we had some funerary services. Mom is having a month long wake for people to pay their respects to his ashes which will be mixed with hers following her death and then buried together, likely in the Military Cemetary in Pennsylvania where her brother is also buried.

I performed some of the services, reading

Psalms over his remains from his Lutheran service book at my mother's request. I also said prayers over his remains a few times and blessed a cross she's received as a bereavement gift.

Other than that we just spent a whole lot of time together, not enough, and talked a whole lot.

This is thw second funeral I've been at in 6 months. In may my Uncle Jack died and if home down briefly for that. An aunt had died cut In that time, Ngoc, but I wasn't close so I ended up not going/not invite to her funeral.

My sisters at that time, had been quite angry that id gone to his among other things, despite the fact he'd been like a second father to me and always looked out for me during high school.

To make things simple I'm gonna bullet what they did last time under their names.

Page

Bitched a lot about me choosing a nonblood relative over a blood relative

Had a whole homophobic* rant about it not being fair the family accepts my wife but not her girlfriendbeating, childabusing, alcoholic, lazy, boyfriend.

Ended up leaving me until way after the funeral ended because she was pissed at me. My other sister had to get us and take us to the after part.

Not great but not bad comparitively.

Hillary

Ended up showing up late to pick us up from the pick up location in Ithaca. I literally can't give her my address it's that bad.

I had to drive us down. She'd programmed her gps, two of them, to give conflicting turns so the other was no help when I got lost after Harrisburg.

Wanted to sleep at a rest stop parking lot only halfway through, this is the DAY OF the funeral.

Literally started screaming at me for getting lost and said "I drive like a man"

Told me she'd kill me for transitioning when I joked that I can't drive like a man when it's so expensive to transition**.

Repeated it, making sure I looked her in the eyes, in front of a witness, that she will kill*** me if I ever transition.

Tried to drop in unannounced at 6 am at the mother of the dead aunt to pay condolences. Even if I'd been invited that'd be supremely rude.

Immediately went to sleep when we arrived about an hour or two BEFORE the funeral.

Continued to hang all over me and call me ungrateful for not visiting for almost 4 years before this.

That was last time.

This time she did something worse, and what makes it even worse was the fact that it was our FATHER.

I know it shouldnt matter because family is family but she was there when he died and had tried to get ahold of me at work before it was too late. All of this made me think she was at least acting like a decent human being. I was wrong. I know people process grief differently and I'm no different, im still fluctuating between denial and anger and even mom is pushing it far from her mind so she doesn't have to face the reality of it. But there's certain things that are unforgivable.

Page in comparison was really kind, so anything she did out of frustration I'm skipping this time because she made an effort to be civil.

Hillary

Lent us her bedroom which was nice, except she was in there all the time. Like not to get stuff she needed she was just hanging out in there all the time. And I know you're thinking "It's her room, stop being an asshole!" Except it brings me to point two. She'd especially do it after picking fights, so that literally we didn't have anywhere to get away from her. She'd do this when I lived there too, except she'd do it in MY room, which had literally no way of locking her out as we shared one connecting door that only locked in her side. She does this for attention so she cannot be ignored.

We went out to her work, where she introduced me to Everyone as her daughter. There's about three problems there alone, but I had to be polite to her co-workers. She did so so she could basically just mooch off the free samples. Which they all commented on, pointedly.

Afterward she had me drive just to start an argument about politics, literally took me down several new roads I didn't know, and got mad when I wouldn't make the turns instinctively and made me make what were basically illegal turns. She made up for this by buying my therapy cat some things at Wal-Mart including a fidget spinner****. Then stayed in our room for three more hours.

The next morning she acted like nothing had changed and said we were going out to eat. We went to The Green Dragon which is a fancier Asian buffet with a variety of dishes. It was nice. Until she started discussing politics LOUDLY. It wasn't that kind of restaurant, it was mostly older people, like 80% 60-80 year olds on the early bird special, not somewhere you want to talk politics in rural Amish country Pennsylvania.

I told her three times, we aren't talking about that here and now.

She insisted she was talking to "My friend*****"

I told her neither of us wanted to talk to her about it so she dropped it for a while.

It wasn't long before she was back on her bullshit. She went on about infowars or some shit. (She doesn't like him, per se, but she's a "conservative in a gay hat" type) and how it was hilarious to see him get ripped apart over "Michael obama"

I tell her it's pronounced Michelle. She replied "no it's not! He's really a man, haven't you seen?" And extrapolated from there. I told her she can't call women she doesnt like men just because she doesn't like them or isn't attracted to them. (She does this)

At this point, she continues on about how Michelle is "a transgender or whatever", not really a woman, had a penis, and even without my biases, she still is SHOUTING THIS IN A PACKED RESTAURANT FULL OF OLD PEOPLE IN RED PA

I tell her to back off because she doesn't know anything about trans people and maybe she should just not talk about it because I'm not going to talk to her about it. To which of course she replies that she knows so much better because she knows lots of """"""real trans people"""""

She goes on about how they're disgusting, they smell bad, they're bad people, she outed her friend who I didn't know was trans and said that she (She managed proper pronouns for her at first then reverted to calling her a man) forced her to support her even though she was *insert insults* and even went so far as to call them... rather us, mentally ill freaks.****** She insists we wouldn't have high suicide rates of we didn't "pretend to be the other gender and accept what we really are!"

I'm done. I've had enough. I just get up and say "I'm going to the bathroom" and I literally walk away and lock myself in the family bathroom. While I'm gone she asks what my problem is and my wife tells her off, basically that she doesn't get to decide anyone else's journey for them, it costs 0.00 USD to respect people's identies and not be a fuck. To which Hillary says "don't tell me she's one too" which I'm not annoting because I've already made two notes on this. Rowan tells her "It's not my story to tell,"

"That tells me all I need to know." (Yeah no shit Sherlock you were told outright)

Rowan says she's gonna check on me, so Hiillary tells her "well, tell her her mother's dead. She doesn't have one anymore."#

So I'm having a breakdown in a public bathroom, on the phone with my mother, because she has humiliated me and outed me to a restaurant of strangers, and she still keeps us out with her for another hour past leaving the restaurant even when I said I wanted to go home.

She immediately tried to retract and say that first off, "[I] don't understand how hard it is and [I] don't understand the choice [I'm] making" I am not talking to her about this.

She insists she'll always support me. I want to go home.

Here's where she actually took I to Wal-Mart. Rowan has reminded me this is what the Wal-Mart trip was to make up for. On that note. She tried again to say she'd "always support me and I know it". I reminded her she told me last time she said she'd kill me over it. She denied it and I told her I still had logs to which she said "ugh, okay whatever!"

This all led to outing me to the REST of the family, which thank God they took better than her. They admitted they didn't understand and hoped I'd get lots of doctors who could help me transition safely with my health issues. Overall it was better than expected but I'm the second openly trans member of the family.

She continued to say that I hold grudges and I shouldn't be so sensitive among other things but that's really all I have the spoons for. This took three hours to write as is. So yeah, additional notes are below. This is why I will never live in PA again and never live near her again. All of this when we were supposed to be mourning our dead father.

*Its homophobic from perspective because I'm only out as a lesbian at this point.

**She is a (closet-bi) lesbian who has been told twice at this point that I'm trans. She's said I'm confused. I don't know what I am. She didn't give birth to a boy etc.

***This is about the third time in my life she's told me if it was up to her she'd have killed me. She said she wanted to abort me, she said if I'd been a boy (xy) she would have. She says if they wouldn't let her, she'd have smothered me coming out and as it stands as a "girl" (xx) she planned to orphan me if mom hadn't told her to being me home.

**** I don't even know. She insists cats love fidget spinners. Mine doesn't care.

***** I don't have to explain why this is fucked up. But I will. If you havent had this situation happen to you, regardless of sexuality and presentation, it means that person who is so important to you to be your significant other, does not measure up. Other than dehumanizing them it's just in general a shitty move. And when they dont even use your SOs name it's clear they're seen just as an accessory of you.

****** y'all remember I've already told her I'm trans? I have the Facebook logs from that convo still.

#I got sick of counting stars, so we're switching to hashes. I'm adopted. Hillary is my biological mother and we were both adopted by the same charitable lady. Her statement doesnt make a lick of sense, mother is at home. She constantly tries to insist she's my mother after all of the above and more I can't even go into here.

## If I knew all it's take was coming out as trans for hee to disown me, I would have much sooner. Soon than I did. She'll forget this in less than six months likely. Because I'm not important enough to expend memory on. I'm marginally okay with this.

#long post #personal #vent #transphobia and homophobia mentions #reasons why i hate my family #heres hoping the readmore works

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