#ill admit i was also part of this problem for a while until i opened my fucking eyes lol

[mamamiriamxo]

You know you're chronically online when you start hating on capitalism so much that it borderlines on romanticizing communism/socialism.

Liberalism ≠ communism.

In an effort to stay woke and enlightened on the sufferings of marginalized communities, young people online (usually people who have never lived to see totalitarian dictatorships such as those, or seen the effects) have taken a liking to embracing socialism/communism instead, going as far as to say that USA is entering a "fascism era".

If you think that's fascism... you need to open a book again.

We live in a (mostly) "democratic" world, or at least the people who are spouting this dumb shit do. You are reading this on your screen right now, and whether you agree with me or not is only plausible due to the various personal beliefs you have been allowed to accumulate over the years. That would not have been possible in a socialist society, where you would have been fed only one source of information in order for you to stay in line and never question why you're living in such horrible conditions.

I'm not saying that what's happening in the US to marginalized groups, mainly trans people, isn't bad, but rather that the problem is something abstract that you can't point your finger to, like "the system" and not the actual people implementing these hateful messages as political strategies to get elected, which is exactly what they want you to do.

I was born in Albania. The last country in Europe to have abolished the communist regime, which ended in 1992. My country fell onto the hands of the murderer that was Enver Hoxha after the horrors of WWII, and was exploited greatly because of it, and we still live in extreme poverty and societal decline. Dozens, if not hundreds of people were tortured mercilessly during the regime, forced to endure grueling hours of manual labour in distant villages for the mere fault of complaining that you're hungry, or having known a relative that was "an enemy to the country".

You can't look at countries like North Korea and China, where the mere idea of something different gets you sent to an interment camp, then look me in the eye and tell me you'd rather have that.

And no, the situation hasn't gotten better because less people are trying to escape North Korea, it's because it's become harder to escape due to the tightening of borders.

(Pse, ata që vriten e shfarosen e torturohen andej nga Korea e Veriut vetëm që t'ia mbathin janë budallenj, ë? Ik lexo ndonjë libër aty se lë nam, turp i Zotit.)

[dcxdpdabbles]

Phantom's number 1 Fan. Part 2

Tim wakes a few days later, half submerged in liquid and hooked to various machines. He is in a tub shaped like a bed, obviously meant to sleep in. Around him is what he hopes is a hospital room with medical tools scattered about and soft blue paint that turns to the night sky the higher it goes on the wall.

On the ceiling are paintings of various constellations. It's rather beautiful.

Tim also notices he feels no pain. None. Not even the aches of his bones after years of abuse while fighting crime. He thinks that's a bit strange since the last thing he could clearly remember was barely escaping Ra's al Ghul, losing his spleen, and gaining more wounds from angry assassins on his way out.

He had been flying half-blind, blinking in and out of awareness. He thinks at one point, Cassie had attempted to call him, and he may have answered, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what he told her.

He did remember what she said in response. She sounded so desperate as she begged over the S-Batplane speakers. "Please, Tim, you're not well. Let us help you. Just tell me where you are."

Too bad for her, since the S in S-Batplane stand for Secert because Tim had built that one on his own in Secert. There was no way she or any of the hero community could track him in it since they had no idea it existed until Tim had taken it and his supplies on his solo mission to save Bruce.

Tim will admit that he is happy they noticed he went missing- even if it was three months too late. Not that it mattered much. The rest of the Bats wanted nothing to do with him. The world only saw him as a young easy wallet as a shiny new CEO. And his friends were all dead or convinced he was insane by Dick.

Tim didn't have anyone to notice he was gone anymore. But Bruce needed him to push through the ache and get him home.

As the Robin who Bruce trained to put the mission first no matter the cost, the one that came after Jason's death so, Bruce stopped allowing himself to think of Robin as a son and more along the lines of a soldier; he quickly shut down the crying child that wailed for someone to believe him, to support him.

Sometimes it felt like Tim was still waiting by the door of Drake Manor, waiting for someone to come and care for him, to stay for him.

The door to his room opens, snapping Tim back to the present. He automatically stiffens, expecting more of the League of Assassins. He can't remember much, but he guessed he was captured by the fact he was sitting in a green glowing water.

He was not, however, expecting a Yeti to walk in, reading a clipboard.

The Yeti looks up, bearing its teeth at Tim when he notices him awake. It takes a moment to realize the action is supposed to be a smile. "Great One's Honored Guest, I am so glad you have awakened. I am FrostBite, your doctor for the remainder of your recovery."

Okay. Ra's has Yetis at his disposal.

He was the only person that Tim knew as the "Great One." Usually, his most loyal operatives too, which means he was deep within Ra's territory.

FrostBrite pauses for a response, but when Tim remains silent, he holds up his board. "It seems to me that most of your wounds have healed. The only problem is that your spleen could not be salvaged due to the damage."

Tim fights to keep the despair off his face. He figured that was the case, seeing as Ras's had it in a jar, but he had hoped.

"...I understand this may be a difficult adjustment. You will always have to be careful when being ill. Even a simple cold could be disastrous." Frostbite steps close, taping one giant claw on the tub's edge. "The Great One has ordered we keep consistent Ecoplasm Baths at the ready for the remainder of your natural life."

Fuck. The Yeti is saying Ra will never let him leave again. It's a threat disguised as a offer of help.

Tim glares down at his hands. They lay within Lazarus' water, gently healing his small scars. This must be some of the purest Lazarus he's ever seen. It must be Ra's own special blend.

The only reason he is wasting it on Tim is that Ra's wants an heir from him. Or for him to become the Heir. He doesn't know, which makes him feel worse but he does know what lust looks like.

It's one that Ra's has aimed at him for too long.

He may as well get this over with. Learn as much as he can. Plan an escape. The best way to do all that is to simply ask.

"When is the wedding?"

Frostbite freezes. "I beg your pardon? Whos wedding?"

"Th Great One and mine" because the madman would never allow a bastard to inherit his empire.

"You and the Great One....are paramours?" Frostbite sounds awe. Shoot his medic doesn't know anything. The Yeti is likely low ranking.

Tim looks away, and the giant white creature jerks into action. "I apologize for not treating the Great One's beloved properly. I shall have servants bring up a meal while you soak. And the finest robe we have! Sweets and messages....offers of gold?....humans always like gold."

He waits until the Yeti leaves, mumbles of giving him the royal treatment echoing in his wake. Tim sighs, sinking into the water. He knows he is being watched as that's what he would do, so for now he needs to stay put and heal.

He's never going to get Bruce back if he acts too rashly without knowing where he is and what else Ra has under his control. Yetis were no easy feat to beat on his own. He like to avoid....a vampire or something too.

Half an hour later, FrostBite returns with the promised meal and change of clothes. Smaller Yetis help him dress in threads of the finest silks. They feel like heaven on his sensitive skin. Tim feels soft and warm all over, pampered beyond belief.

It's been so long since he just had a moment to rest.

He asks for a walk which he is only permitted after Frostbites clears him. It's while he is wandering that he realizes he is in some winter castle. Everywhere he looks, there is ice, snow, and yetis.

He notices all the guards and makes mental maps of possible weak spots. He wonders why he's not freezing despite only being in a thin silk robe. A form of magic?

A few yetis- servants he can tell by their mannerisms- bow as he wanders about. He can't tell where he is based on the sun or the environment. It's....somehow different.

"That's him?" A young female voice asks. He turns his head slightly to catch the speaker in his provisional vision. It's one of the smaller Yetis....he assumes she's a child? Hard to tell when she still towers over him. "The Great One's future spouse?"

"Yes, I heard King Frostbite, himself, tell the Head Butler"

"He's weak," another Yeti says with disapproval. He sounds male but young as well. Not even a teenager. "He does not even have a core."

"He is a human." A much older voice replies. She sounds like Tim's age based on vocal cords. "Humans are not meant to have cores. Despite this he is a formidable fighter. He has to be to have attracted the Great One's eye."

"Maybe not. I heard humans enjoy being cared for like children. They even call partners things like Mommy and Daddy."

"Why?" The boy Yeti sounds horrified.

"Apparently it's seen as attractive"

"That's disgusting."

Tim turns a corner cutting off the conversation as the Yetis snap to attention. They bow low at the waist as he walks by.

He nods at them, which seems to startle a lot of them. Not that he's surprised. The AL Ghuls likely treated them like decorations and never fully acknowledged them.

Tim barely hears the young boy gasp. "He's beautiful."

"That's likely why the Great One is so bestowed."

Tim sighs walking back to his room with a escape plan half formed.

Elsewhere, the rumor mill in the Ghost Zone is running over time as news of King Phantom's human husband-to-be is spread far and wide. Leaders of the Ghost Zone quickly prepare for a ball that will likely be called to celebrate the union.

They have gifts gathered, each wanting to gain favor with the King. The Far Frozen gets overwhelming requests to visit the future Consort, but seeing as King Phantom had to return to the human world, thus leaving his fiancé in their care, they reject all. They do not want the boy to be overwhelmed or caught unawares if he is not tried in any form of politics.

It would not allow him to become a threat to the King's authority's pawn.

This led to even more rumors starting.

By the time they reached John Constine- the only human who has any form of contact with the Realms- the word is that King Phantom's human was currently carrying their child, wanting to marry before the baby was born, and that he was running from a group of humans known as "The Bats."

He was as beautiful as the King Phantom was powerful- which meant he was utterly breathtaking for a human- and that King Phantom was currently in the human world hunting down those who threaten his family.

Across the dimension plane, Danny is blissfully unaware of the misunderstanding as he is busy filling out college scholarship applications. He has only one more year before he graduates, but he would like to go somewhere away from Amity Park.

The Wayne Scholarship is a long and lengthy process, but it will be worth it. A full ride with board and meals? Yes, the housing will be in Gotham but it's a small price to pay.

He wonders if his number one fan has awakened. Frostbite would have contacted him if his guest had escaped the coma.

Tim Drake had been asleep for nearly a week, only kept healthy due to Danny bathing him in his Protective Core ectoplasm and the Yeti's multi-species medical knowledge. As it were, Tim appeared to only be taking a small nap, none of the adverse effects of long slumber appearing on his thin body, but Danny was getting worried.

At this point, he didn't even care how Tim knew his secret. He just wanted him to be alright.

A flash of green light causes Danny to spring away from his laptop, body falling into a natural fighter's stance only to blink at the giant gift wrap present laying on his bed. Cautiously he inspects the gift finding it from Princess Dora.

"May your love lead the Realms into a wonderous future, and may your union bear many children." He reads the small note she had attracted to her gift "What children?"

Pulling open the gift, he stares at two sets of King robes decorated with rubies shaped into snowflakes. More miniature robes and a few booties surround the pair, obviously meant as a family gift.

Tuck to the side of the box is a long and deadly-looking sword. It's pitch black, with a scull as a handle. Dora had tired a scroll to its blade, where she had written My armies are ready to yield to you. You need only to swing this sword, and they shall come to your aid. The Bats will not harm your treasure.

What in the world?

[objectsarebestest]

So yesterday I saw a fairly disturbing post in the objectum tags and I’ve been planning this response ever since. I don’t know if I’m fully 100% ready, but I know that if I wait until I am the post will never be made. I’m not going to link the post this was triggered by or name the poster. Those who self-harm deserve respect and the help they need, not being targeted. I’m actually glad this post was made in a way, because it alerted me to a problem in the weapum community that I want to address.

The post ahead will discuss self-harm, which is why I will be putting it under a read-more. Do not feel pressured to read it if doing so would put you in a bad mindset or trigger you.

I’m weapum, which is an objectum microlabel for those who are attracted to weapons. Specifically, one of my object partners is a kitchen knife. His name is William, but I call him Will for short. He’s beautiful. The way his handle is shaped to give you the perfect grip, the way his serrated edge glints in the light, just everything about him. I think he might be my favorite knife in the whole world.

I also am an ex-cutter who struggles with self-harm urges. Honestly, the only reason I quit was because I can’t get away with it anymore. I still have the scars on my left thigh. They don’t look like self-harm scars. They’re not straight lines. They’re more wiggly marks, a couple round marks that look like holes, etc. But I know what they are. They are proof that I failed the body I live in.

When I discovered my crush on Will, I thought he was different. I felt secure with him. The way his blade shines felt like him smiling at me. Until the day I regret. I was alone. Always a bad sign. I went downstairs and opened the drawer that Will lives in. I felt like I was in a trance. I took him out and started running his blade over my skin. I was testing his sharpness. I don’t know what I was really planning on doing. Or maybe I just don’t want to admit it. As soon as I drew blood I snapped out of it and panicked. I ran upstairs crying and texted a mental health hotline.

I feel terrible. For using him like that. But there’s no way to erase what I did. I don’t want to say it ruined our relationship. We’re still dating. But it changed it, and not for the better. I feel this apprehension around him that I didn’t feel before. And his energy around me is definitely different. I wish I could erase what I did with him. Hurting myself with him nearly broke our bond. So when I heard that some weapum hurt themselves as part of their bond, I had to address it.

If your object partner is encouraging you to hurt yourself, you need to get rid of them. I had to learn this the hard way due to a skirt ex-friend of mine. It doesn’t matter if that object is saying that they tell you to hurt yourself because they love you, or because they’re your friend, or because it will ultimately help you. An object who really loved you wouldn’t do things like that. You can donate them, sell them, or throw them away. If they’re a weapon, there are mental health charities that allow you to mail your blades to them to help with quitting. You’re allowed to feel sad. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to miss them. Just like I miss my skirt. But they are endangering you.

If you’re hurting yourself because you think that’s the best way to bond with your object partner, you’re wrong. There are so many things to do to bond with a knife other than self-harm. Me and Will cook together. That feeling of moving in unison while mincing carrots or slicing strawberries, watching the light hit his blade until we both feel electrified. But Will is designed for cooking. You can take your knife out hunting, use it to carve a wooden sculpture, learn knife throwing (safely and with the right kind of knife!) or just admire each other’s beauty.

If you have mental health problems that cause you to want to self-harm, like I do, that’s okay. It’s not a moral fault to be mentally ill. But your weapon partner is enabling you. Seek help. Real help. If you’ve tried that before and it didn’t help, try again. Keep looking. There is help out there. Your object partner should be proud of you for getting better. And if they’re not, they aren’t the right object for you. They don’t deserve you.

I hope this helps someone, even one weapum. Hopefully.

[ssadumba55]

Sixth Spirit (Mentor!Elsa x Fem!Niece!Reader)

Request: Hi,so I was wondering if there was a thing that could write. So I read Being Kristoff and Annas Daughter and I was wondering if you could do a full story with 1000+ words. Like they have a daughter and when she turns 13, she starts displaying stuff and before that, Elsa has a dream of there being another spirit, a spirit that is one with al lelements but is most strong in dark and light, goes with being able to bend it. Daughter gets freaked when this happens,and they seek help, which they find in the boy that she has been bethrothed to, and he is the only way she keeps in control. Elsa mentor stuff.Ty!

Elsa was trying not to panic, but that’s always easier said than done. Ever since she’d had that dream it’s consumed her waking thoughts. She paced the floor, caught up in her thoughts until she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Elsa, if the dream is worrying you this much, maybe we should go see your sister-”

“She has enough to deal with, ruling the kingdom, raising (Y/n). Why worry her over a silly dream? We don’t even know if it will come to fruition, I’ve never had dreams that tell the future before…” She rubbed her arms, trying to calm herself down but the uneasy feeling refused to chase itself down.

Honeymaren wasn’t convinced, she could tell this dream was eating Elsa up from the inside but she was strong. She’d never admit it.

The two sat in silence for a while. The uneasy feeling seemed to grow in the silence between them, but neither wanted to address it.

Finally, Elsa got to her feet. “Perhaps you’re right though, even if I don’t want to burden her with my problems, in the past Anna has always played a big part in helping me figure these things out. And even if she offers no assistance, it will be nice to see my niece again.”

There was a determined look on her face, the kind of look she got when she was resolute in her decision. It was nice to see a little of the regular Elsa after she’d been stressing for weeks, consumed completely in her own anxieties. 

She bid Honeymaren good night, after promising she wouldn’t leave the next day before she was able to be seen off. Returning to her own space for the night, she didn’t actually end up sleeping but it was nice to worry and stress in peace. Tomorrow, she’d see her sister and figure out this dream once and for all. Tonight, she decided as she settled in for the night, she could rest easy knowing a solution would soon be worked out.

Meanwhile in Arendelle, there was quite a stir being made. The princess was turning thirteen years old and there was to be quite the party for it. Not only was everyone excited to celebrate the princess’ birth, but tonight would be the first night she would meet her betrothed. The prince of the Southern Isles, the union was supposed to form an alliance between the two kingdoms and finally put to rest any ill will between them caused by Hans many moons ago.

Although Queen Anna and King Kristoff were firm believers in true love and the power it possesses, they were also realists who had to do the best for the kingdom. All things aside, the prince was said to be quite a catch, a gentleman and it stood to reason that the two might eventually fall in love anyway. If not, Anna always reasoned they could call off the betrothal. But for now, keeping the peace and upholding tradition seemed to be the way to go.

(Y/n) certainly never complained. Maybe it was because her head had been filled with stories of true love since she was a child, or maybe she was just very open minded, whatever the case she was eager to meet the prince. Even if they didn’t immediately hit it off and fall in love, surely he would provide decent companionship. It was hard for a princess to make friends. There was no one in the castle her age and the townsfolk were nice, but they would never understand the struggles and day to day issues a young princess had to go through.

A prince was a worthy friend, which is why she was currently pacing her room, fretting over what she would wear. There were a lot of options and she was freaking out. Maybe a little more than she needed to.

“Mom!” She called down the hallway, desperate for some aid from someone other than her servants. They only told her what she wanted to hear, she needed someone to tell her as it is. But it seemed the Queen was currently occupied with something else because there was no reply from the rest of the castle.

She began to pace once more and her servant, a kind lady named Lucille bowed her head. “If you give me a moment, princess, I can go find the Queen for you and bring her back.”

“Would you, please? I could really use her help! Thank you so much, Lucille. I’m sorry for being such a hassle.”

The woman chuckled as she made her way to the door, shaking her head. “You’re never a hassle, princess. This is nothing your mother and her mother never had to deal with. It’s the curse of royalty, I’m afraid. Too many clothes, never know what to wear.”

She left the child alone in her chambers to continue to pace while she waited. After dressing, she’d have to worry about her hair and then she needed to find the perfect shoes and the party was starting in an hour so if she wasn’t ready by then guests would start to wonder-

As her thoughts began to spiral, the lights in the room flickered. Too consumed in her own mind she didn’t notice until too late every lamp in the room turned blindingly bright and promptly went out. The young girl shrieked, now standing in pitch darkness in her undergarments.

The sound of the door opening a moment later startled her and tears began to slide down her cheeks.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)? What happened? Why is it so dark in here?” 

The sound of her mother’s voice was a relief and she waited as someone scurried about relighting the lights in the room. When the light had returned, she realized her mother and Lucille weren’t the only ones who had come. Her father, probably hearing her shriek, was standing in the door looking slightly breathless. And at her mother’s side was-

“Aunt Elsa!” She squealed, running to hug her. Momentarily the fear she had just felt was forgotten as she hugged her aunt, not having expected her to come all this way just for her birthday. She was a busy woman, after all, her mother constantly reminded her. Being a nature spirit was hard work and demanded a lot of attention.

Her aunt's arms wrapped around her and she was momentarily shocked by how cold she was. It was funny, sometimes she did in fact feel warm and other times, she felt cold as ice. Usually when she was upset or excited and unable to control her powers.

Kristoff cleared his throat, clearly still worried. “I heard you shriek though, is everything alright?”

Suddenly, all at once the memories of before came rushing back, startling the poor princess. She looked around the room searching for something that could’ve made the lights react the way they did, but save for the occupants in the room now, nothing was out of place.

“I was just… worried about getting ready for the party and suddenly the lights went out…”

The adults all exchanged looks, but their expressions were unreadable. After a few moments, Anna and Elsa stepped into motion helping the young girl finish getting ready while Lucille and Kristoff returned to the hustle and bustle elsewhere in the castle.

Neither Anna or Elsa said anything as they helped her get into her dress for the evening’s festivities. It was quite obvious, however, that they were thinking something as they shared looks over her head out of eyeshot of the teenager.

There was so much going on though, that eventually the two sisters settled into helping out and forgot all about the weird occurrence. After all, it was a one time thing, right?

As (Y/N) would soon find out, this was in fact wrong.

The prince she was to be betrothed to would be arriving to the party late. The Southern Isles were a great distance from Arendelle, so it was to be expected that they wouldn’t arrive exactly on time but the longer he took the more nervous the princess became.

It started as little things, the lights flickered, the water in her cup danced, the plants decorating the ballroom seemed to move as if on their own… It was only once her water cup completely froze as she stood watching her parents dance did she realize that all of these things were related. Even worse than them being related though, they could all be traced back to her. She was the origin of them.

She dropped her glass on the table as if it were hot coals. Beside her, Aunt Elsa raised an eyebrow.

“I- I need some air…”

“(Y/n)...”

“I’ll be back I swear!”

She collapsed on the fountain in the courtyard, stomach dropping. No one else was around. Studying her hands, she reached a tentative finger out to touch the water in the fountain. It froze under her touch, in much the same way her aunt’s powers did.

No matter how hard she tried though, unlike her Aunt Elsa, she couldn’t unfreeze it. The more she panicked, chest tightening, frustration building the more things around her started to go haywire. The lanterns that were lit blinked and flickered, the trees and bushes moved, a wind was starting to pick up.

“I hope it’s alright, your aunt told me I might find you out here.”

All at once everything stopped, returning to the way it had been forever. All except the fountain, of course. She turned, surprised that someone else was here.

He stepped up to the fountain beside her.

“I’m William. You know, of the Southern Isles. It’s a pleasure to meet you…”

He was handsome, it reminded the girl of the stories her mother and aunt used to tell her about how her parents had met. A man named Hans, broad shoulders, fiery red hair, a kind smile. She could see some of him in William. The hair, the broad shoulders. That’s where the similarities ended, after all Hans was his uncle. Not closely enough related to actually contribute to his genetics. Most of the family must have red hair and broad shoulders.

As if suddenly remembering her manners, she performed a clumsy curtsy.

“Princess (Y/n) of Arendelle.”

“Happy birthday…” He smiled awkwardly. The two teens fell into an uncomfortable silence. He pointed to the fountain after a few moments. “Did your aunt do this?”

Elsa’s reputation preceded her. Almost everyone who knew of Arendelle knew of the magical once queen who could create ice and snow. The young princess didn’t know how to respond. This was supposed to be a boy who would be her friend, on one hand she didn’t want to lie to him… on the other hand, would he want to be friends if he knew what she could do? What she had only just figured out she could do?

She painstakingly wracked her brain for the right answer.

“Promse you won’t tell anyone?”

“I’m really good at keeping secrets.”

She studied his face for a hint of the deceit that his uncle had once shown her mother, but she found nothing. Well, there was nothing really to lose from this then anyway.

“It was me. I think I’ve got my own set of powers, they’ve been causing me trouble all night. I didn’t even realize it was me until… just now. I froze the fountain… but I can’t figure out how to unfreeze it.”

William didn’t seem the least bit fazed. He leant over the fountain, touching the ice with his fingers, thoughtfully.

“Well, how does your aunt do it?”

“I don’t know, I never asked her.”

Gently he placed his hand over hers, meeting her eyes to make sure it was alright before placing her hand on the ice. She had never really been this close to someone her age before, the thought made her feel a little warm. One day, if she chose to, she might end up marrying him. When she’d first heard of the idea, she’d been a little skeptical albeit excited for a friend. Now though she could see it. His hand was sturdy, guiding.

“Look!” He cried out in elation, and it was only then that she realized she was no longer touching ice under her fingers but water. The water danced and moved a bit unnaturally under her fingertips. “How are you doing that?”

“I don’t know!” The two teens sat and watched the water under her fingertips for a few moments. It was only after they got over the initial shock of the ice melting that he realized he was still holding her hand. Quickly, he pulled it away, cheeks heating up.

The water stopped it’s mesmerizing dance once he did so and the sound of footsteps, snapped them both back to reality.

Elsa, Anna and Kristoff had snuck away from the party to check on the princess. And they’d arrived just in time to witness the entire scene of the ice melting. There was more than a little shock. Standing there in the courtyard, Elsa revealed the real reason she had come back to Arendelle, the strange vision she’d had about a sixth spirit.

The sixth spirit could wield the powers of all the elements, earth, air, fire, water and snow, plus the dark and the light. She admitted she’d suspected her niece from the moment the lights had gone out in her chambers hours prior, but hadn’t been for certain until she’d seen the glass.

“I’m a spirit!?” She backed away from the rest of the group. “I can’t control them! I’m dangerous! What if-”

Her aunt gently placed a hand on her shoulder, tilting her chin so she’d look up at her. “My parents, your grandparents, hid my powers. They taught me they were something to be feared and ashamed of. But they’re not a burden, they’re a gift. One you should be proud of. I promise I’ll teach you how to use them properly. Your parents and I won’t let you hurt anyone.”

“This doesn’t change a thing about you, you’re still the same person. And we’ll get through this, as a family.” Anna assured her daughter. There was assent from Kristoff at her side.

Behind them, William cleared his throat. The small family had forgotten he was even there, he had blended so well into the background. “If I may, I would also like to stick around and help. If that’s okay.”

She looked around at all the people she cared about, even if one was a work in progress. With people like this by her side, she realized, the journey would still be a long one but she could face it. She definitely wouldn’t be doing so alone.

“Come on, there’s still a party and powers or not, you’re still a birthday girl. Tomorrow, we can get down to business.” Elsa guided her niece back in the direction of the castle. William grinned.

“If you’re up for it, I could go for a dance.”

“Alright, but be warned, I have two left feet.”

Elsa watched as the prince guided the girl to the dance floor, their animated chatter could be heard even through all the hubbub of the party around them. Kristoff crossed his arms over his chest.

“They grow up so fast don’t they?” He asked, the tone of a bittersweet father watching his baby grow up.

“Yeah… They do.” Elsa smiled.

As the girl apologized profusely for stepping on her suitors toes for the third time, much to his amusement and delight, she couldn’t help but be thankful. She had been given the miracle and gift of guiding someone along this wonderful path, her niece wouldn’t be alone like she had. She’d be surrounded by people who loved her, cared for her.

And when the time came, she’d make a wonderful ruler of Arendelle, just like her mother before her. Elsa was sure of it.

[raainberry]

Nayeon(TWICE) and "my favorite Person" by peach prc

Animosity

« A strong feeling of dislike or hatred : ill will or resentment tending toward active hostility. »

Nayeon x gn!reader

Angst

synopsis - adult breakups are just messy sometimes, and that’s okay.

wordcount - 1.4K

A/N - Was losing two hours of sleep worth it? only time will tell, and quite frankly I don’t care. I don’t know how to feel about this one, but that also may just be sleep deprivation so who cares. N e ways, thank you for trusting me with your imagination (?) and I just hope you like it!

[12나1995]

“Oh my gosh… Look!” You slurred, pointing to the number plate of the parked car a few feet away from you.

Your friend stopped in their tracks, allowing themselves a break from the effort that was dragging you to the Uber.

“What?” They sighed, wondering what kind of antic you were about to pull again.

“The number plate! She’s everywhere!” You yelled, your voice echoing in the night.

It caught the attention of several people around you, all as nosy as they were drunk.

The scene amused them, or so it seemed through the blur of your own drunken eye sight. You could make out a few smiles on their faces as your friend manhandled you into the car, where another one of your friends waited.

“Shut up, Y/N. Just get in the car.”

You didn’t see, but you were sure they’d rolled their eyes saying that. They always did whenever you mentioned Nayeon. You could understand, but it didn’t mean you cared.

Especially when drunk.

You tripped into the backseat of the car, hearing the door close behind you along with the dumb laugh of your friend next to you.

You didn’t pay attention to them, deciding you’d better focus on whatever was out the window before throwing up everything you’d swallowed in the last few hours.

As far as you could recall, it was a fun night. A birthday party you’d certainly remember, just not who’s. You giggled to yourself as you remembered how you snuck into a stranger’s celebration and managed to become the life of the party.

Another night for the books. Another night filled with questionable decisions you could care less for in the moment. Another night spent drinking yourself senseless, until all you could feel and remember was joy. Happiness.

Otherwise you would forget what it even is.

A heavy sigh escaped your lips at the thought. It was great while it lasted, but the night was over. Soon you’d have to come back to reality, which was a much less fun realm at the moment.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to rest your mind, and get rid of these party-pooper thoughts. That only pissed you off though, as memories of happier times flashed light in the darkness you’d plunged yourself in.

You opened them again, your gaze landing on a few passing street lamps. In hindsight maybe those were the flashes you saw.

The memories were real, though, no street lamp could prove otherwise.

“Dang it…” You mumbled under your breath, feeling your blood warm up enough to feel the anger in your chest.

It was crazy to think about, how that burning sensation used to be all butterflies and rainbows whenever you so much as thought of her.

Your eyebrows furrowed together. It was upsetting. Everything was so complicated now, why did it have to end this way.

Stupid number plate.

You failed to get over her tonight too. No matter how hard you tried, how many parties you attended, how many people you tried with… She wasn’t there. They weren’t her.

She was always the problem.

Maybe that’s why you thought about her so much. More than you’d admit.

How was she dealing with all of it? Was she doing better than you? A part of you hoped so. The other hoped she was dealt with cards a hundred times worse than yours when it came to getting over your relationship.

She was somewhere in between.

She wondered about you too that night. About how you were doing. She would love to say the same as those mature people after a breakup. Something along the lines of “I wish them the best.”, or “I hope they’re happy.”.

Truth be told, she didn’t wish for that. Nor did she hope for it either. She couldn’t say it, or else she’d be lying.

She had done enough of that. That’s what caused it all in the first place. What caused her to lose you completely.

Or almost.

Because why were you at her doorstep that very same night? Leaning against the frame like it would fall the same way you would if you dared to step away.

One glance at you and she knew what was happening. Yet she couldn’t help but ask. What else would you say in that situation?

“What are you doing here?”

You stayed silent, looking into her eyes. Nothing behind yours, she could tell you didn’t have any more idea than she did. Maybe even less.

Whether you had given her address to another Uber or walked here on your own from your own apartment… That was only details she did not care about at the moment.

Sure, she was surprised and got startled by the mere sight of you standing so close after so long, but she was only human. As much as she denied it in front of others, as convincing as she was… She still cared about you deeply.

She couldn’t just throw away what you had. Everyone is a bit of a sentimental hoarder, especially when it comes to love.

So yes, it didn’t take much for her to give in to old habits. Her mind switched off, or on, all she knew was that she had to take care of you. She had to. Because at the moment it looked like you didn’t hate her as much as you told her you did just weeks ago.

Your breakup was messy as they come. Venom spat from both sides, bad mouthing the other like it was some petty high school star couple break up. At this point in time, no one even cared who started what. All you cared about was yourselves, shielding your hearts from the gut wrenching reality of the situation.

It was hard to accept. That someone you once called your everything now hated you with every fiber of their being.

All except one. One in the heart. The one thing they tried so hard to protect in the middle of this mess, only to keep what once meant so much to them. If they lost that too, it would all be pointless. Meaningless.

All those years.

Everything you did together. Everything you said to each other. Everything you loved about the other.

It would have all been for nothing.

“Wait are you real?” You said, the words leaving your mouth all meshed together.

Nayeon didn’t say anything. Not even when you grabbed her face, cupping the rosy cheeks you used to kiss so softly every day.

You studied her face for a few very long seconds, oblivious to the love and care she still held in her eyes for you. Just in case this would happen.

She couldn’t believe you actually were in the same room as her again. She would have preferred if you weren’t drunk out of your mind, but it was nice to see you nonetheless. It allowed her to hope, even for a moment.

However, you were quick to destroy any bit of it as you snickered at your own thoughts before voicing them.

“Of course you’re not real.” You smiled before whispering the next words as a secret between you and this person your brain tried so hard to see Nayeon in.

“She never helped me.”

Might as well have punched her, it would have hurt less than the drunken laugh that escaped your lips.

She stayed still, feeling your hands slip away from her cheeks, taking the warmth she’d been gotten used to away with them.

“Well whoever you are, you’re very nice.” You said, hoping that whoever this person was would feel appreciated. “Thank you for helping me, I sooo didn’t want to do skincare right now.”

Just months ago, she would laugh and drag you out of the bathroom in order to tuck you in. You’d thank her, assuring her you loved her to the moon and back, and back again to whatever you could think of that was far enough. And she’d giggle, leaving a kiss or two on your forehead before laying beside you to sleep with a protective arm draped over your chest.

That night you dragged yourself out of the bathroom, leaving her behind and by herself. You got into the familiar looking bed, tucking yourself in as she watched you from the doorway, wondering whether or not she should join you.

The internal debate was intense. She didn’t want to overstep boundaries, but you had also crossed a line by coming here in the first place. She had told you several times, some more creative than others, that she did not want to see you again.

As drunk as you were, you should have at least remembered that much.

You did.

Yet there you were. Making yourself comfortable in her bed while she let you do so with no bone in her body wanting to object.

Who was she kidding… That was her bed.

She sighed, letting her petty thoughts win once more before grabbing a couple of the throw pillows sprayed around on the mattress. She built a small, metaphorical barrier between you and the side she would be laying in, all while you were already passed out on yours.

She knew it was wrong, no matter how many pillows she put.

She knew you’d probably kill her as soon as you woke up.

So if this was her last night alive, might as well spend it next to her favorite person.

[fairyniceyeah]

⌛🐶 I will stay for you

Title from Be with you (ATEEZ)

Summary: Seonghwa finds a very ill Yunho in the bathroom, minutes before they need to be on stage.

CW: emeto

Sickie: Yunho Caretaker: Seonghwa + Hongjoong (+Mingi +Jongho)

„Fifteen minutes until stage“, the lead manager called through the waiting room where the ATEEZ members were relaxing until they started their concert. He sounded frantic. “Where is Yunho-yah?”

Seonghwa looked up from his phone, having checked the Twitter messages from ATINY who were looking forward to the concert. Yunho had been sitting next to him since they were both done with make-up, hair and styling. At one point the younger had excused himself to the bathroom and since then he hadn’t returned. Taking a look at the clock, Seonghwa realized he had lost track of time – he was sure that his dongsaeng must have been gone for over twenty minutes now.

“Seonghwa?”, Hongjoong said, looking around too, “wasn’t he with you?”

“Uh, yeah”, Seonghwa admitted, “he went to the bathroom, I think, but he’s been gone for some time. Should I go look for him?”

The manager looked like he wanted to protest, probably not eager to lose another member so close to the concert but then a loud curse had them look at Wooyoung. The younger member had somehow managed to spill his soda all over his stage outfit, the white shirt sticking to his skin. He and San stared at each other in shock, frozen in their game of catch.

Hongjoong rolled his eyes next to him. Yet Seonghwa recognized the worry in how he held himself, and also the guilt of not having noticed they were missing a member. Seonghwa squeezed his hand in comfort.

“Yeah, go look for him. I’ll get them sorted out”, the manager sighed. Seonghwa nodded and put his phone on the table. Stretching slightly he got up and left the waiting room, looking up and down the hallway to figure out where their dance leader might have disappeared to. It wasn’t like Yunho to just vanish without a trace – especially half an hour before one of their concerts. There must have been a bigger reason for that.

Not sure where to search Seonghwa decided to check the bathrooms first, especially since Yunho had said he needed to go there. He just hoped that the younger man wasn’t sick or anything – maybe lost somewhere in the admittedly not so large venue.

When he pushed open the door to the bathroom he heard the strangled sound of heaving and he was immediately assaulted by the stench of vomit. It seemed like his fear had come true – this was a disaster. Deciding that logistics of the concert could be the manager’s problem he went to check on his dongsaeng.

“Yunho-yah? Are you okay?”, he called as he knocked on the only locked stall door, mentally face-palming. The sounds coming from the stall were most certainly not an indication that Yunho was okay.

There was another retch and then a hesitant: “Hwa-hyung?”

“It’s me, let me in?”, he asked and after a second he heard a click but the door didn’t open. He pushed down the handle, glad that the door opened to the outside and peeked inside. What he found was a truly heart-breaking sight.

Yunho was kneeling in front of the toilet, resting his head on his arms which were crossed over the bowl so he could get sick without moving and maximum comfort – at least as comfortable as was possible in such a position. The parts of his skin that Seonghwa could see were nearly translucent and, like his hair, full of sweat. All in all he looked pitiful.

While normally a clean freak, Seonghwa didn’t hesitate to kneel down behind him, placing a hand on his back and tentatively rubbing circles. For the moment Yunho seemed to have a respite from vomiting so Seonghwa, full of concern, asked: “What happened? Why didn’t you say earlier that you felt sick?”

“I don’t know what happened”, Yunho rasped, voice nearly gone from the constant strain on his throat and soundly strangely muffled from his position practically inside the toilet, “I was fine all day, even during make-up and then from one second to the next I started feeling like I was going to be sick so I came in here.” He stopped to cough with triggered a dry-heave but he didn’t bring up anything for the moment.

“I wanted to go back and say that I can’t perform but I haven’t had more than a few minutes without vomiting since I started. I don’t know why I can’t stop vomiting.”

Seonghwa sighed and squeezed his shoulder with his free hand. “I’m sorry you’re feeling so sick”, he offered helplessly. “Can I do anything for you?”

“Uh, could you…” Yunho broke off as he burped and then he jerked forward as he started to bring up his stomach contents again. Seonghwa gently held back his hair from his forehead, letting Yunho rest his head against his palm, while rubbing his back again. He watched how Yunho spat out wave after wave of stomach contents, trying not to feel too queasy at the sight of the noodles from lunch making an encore appearance in a less appetizing way.

“Oh, Yunho-yah”, Seonghwa whispered, panicking internally. This was not in his job description of being the oldest hyung. What do you do when you were holding a violently sick idol in your arms when you both need to be in stage in less than ten minutes? Why didn’t an idol contract came with a ‘how to deal with your (sick) dongsaengs’ handbook?

Finally Yunho stopped bringing up anything for the time being, so Seonghwa helped him lean back against the stall wall. He ripped off a piece of toilet paper and gently wiped Yunho’s mouth, the younger having closed his eyes in exhaustion. Seonghwa threw the soiled paper into the toilet and flushed. It really didn’t do anything for the smell anymore.

“Yunho? Uh, I have to find the manager and Hongjoong, there is no way you can perform like this. Do you want to come with me to the waiting room or stay here?”

“I don’t think I should move too far away”, Yunho whispered and hiccoughed wetly.

“Okay, I’ll be quick, sweetheart. You won’t be alone for long, I promise.” Seonghwa pressed a kiss against Yunho’s forehead – a silent promise – and pushed himself up.

He left the bathroom quickly but before the door close he could hear Yunho throwing up again. He jogged back to the waiting room and was nearly hit in the face by the door. The manager apologized and pulled him inside.

Inside all the members were ready to go on stage, but there was worry in their face. Hongjoong was desperately trying to keep a cool façade but Seonghwa could tell that the captain was anything but relaxed.

“Where were you?”, the manager hissed, not malicious but stressed, “why did you take so long? You have to be on stage in five minutes! Didn’t you find Yunho-yah?”

“Yeah, about that”, Seonghwa started, feeling like he just walked to his doom, “Yunho-yah is in the bathroom. He can’t stop throwing up, I don’t know what is wrong…”

For a moment the manager just stared at Seonghwa and he wasn’t sure if the manager was about to cry or laugh.

“Please tell me you are joking”, he pleaded instead.

Seonghwa shook his head. “I really don’t want to eat noodles anytime soon.”

“Right, uhm, yeah, uhh… shit”, the manager mumbled, then activated his headset. “Move the beginning of the show fifteen minutes back.”

“What do we do now?”, Wooyoung asked the question they were all asking themselves.

“There is no way Yunho can perform”, Seonghwa said, turning to the manager.

“But…”, the manager started, but stopped himself.

Hongjoong stepped forward, playing a hand on the manager’s arm. “I won’t allow a sick member to perform, especially if he is off as badly as Seonghwa described. I will go check on him, the rest of you figure out how we can get him home. ATINY won’t care that we are missing a member, they will be worried if anything.”

With that Hongjoong left the dressing room, not unlike a man on a mission.

⌛

Hongjoong wouldn’t admit it but he was close to freaking out. A sick dongsaeng was always an issue but especially when missing a concert. Not only had the fans paid to see them but the sick member would feel like they were letting down the team and ATINY. Besides, in their dorms illness spread like wildfire.

The moment he entered the bathroom he heard the sobbing. Steeling himself, he walked towards the stall where he could see Yunho’s shoe peeking out. His dance leader really was too big for these stalls.

He knocked on the door, just an acknowledgement not asking for entrance. Behind the door he found Yunho leaning against the plastic wall, one knee pulled to his chest, the other leg stretched out. He had his head resting on the knee, arms wrapped around, hugging himself.

“Hey, baby”, Hongjoong whispered, kneeling down. Yunho didn’t lift his head, just turned slightly so he could look at him. Hongjoong reached out and brushed his sweat-soaked hair away from his glazed over eyes.

“Hyung?”, Yunho suddenly said, voice hoarse, “shouldn’t you be on stage?”

“Don’t worry about that, Yunho. We pushed the beginning of the show back so we can take care of you”, Hongjoong soothed.

“But ATINY, the concert”, Yunho said, body shaking as he cried.

Gently Hongjoong took the younger’s hands in his own. “ATINY will understand. Your health is more important. You know you can’t perform like this.”

Yunho just continued crying but soon the sobs turned into heaves. Quickly Hongjoong helped his dongsaeng back over the toilet as bile spilled from his mouth.

Exhausted, Yunho slumped back into his captain the moment he was done. Buried under his tall member, Hongjoong just wrapped his arms around him, trying to help him calm down. He wished he had brought a water bottle or anything so they could try to get Yunho at least a bit hydrated.

As if they had heard his prayers, the door to the bathroom opened and they were quickly joined by Mingi and Jongho.

“Oh, hyung”, Jongho giggled a bit. Hongjoong assumed they must make quite a picture, the smallest member trying to hold up the biggest member all the while unable to even wrap his arms completely around his chest.

They helped Hongjoong move Yunho back against the wall and Mingi knelt down next to his best friend.

“Yunho? I know you feel terrible but can you try to drink some water for us?”, he asked, holding out a bottle.

Reluctantly, but likely too tired to protest, Yunho let Mingi place the bottle against his lips and took a few sips. At that time, Jongho turned to Hongjoong.

“Manager-hyung send us to fetch you two. We set up the couch for him, Yunho-hyung can rest there until we go home. The managers and the stylist noonas said they would keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you, Jongho, Mingi”, Hongjoong said, relieved. While he wished that they could get Yunho home and into bed as soon as possible, he was reluctant to send him home alone. This way they could check on his during outfit changes and the break.

Hongjoong stepped out of the stall, so that Jongho and Mingi were able to help Yunho to his feet in the narrow space. Slowly they made their way back to the dressing room.

The other members smiled at them as they entered, Wooyoung clutching Yeosang’s and San’s hands, while Seonghwa was talking with the manager. As promised the couch was set up with a blanket, a pillow and a bucket. Carefully Jongho and Mingi helped Yunho lay down and immediately San was kneeling by his roommate, running his fingers through the black hair.

“Hey, Yunho”, he whispered, “don’t worry, we got you. Sleep.”

And sleep Yunho did. Through their whole concert and the frequent check-ups by his members; in fact he was barely awake when Mingi and Seonghwa led him to their car home. Hongjoong and Seonghwa sat down in the seat next to the sick dancer, holding his hands – and when the nausea combined with the motion of the car got too much – a plastic bag.

Once he was cleaned up and changed into comfortable pyjamas, Hongjoong expected Yunho to fall back asleep as soon as he was horizontal. Yet Yunho blinked open his eyes and grabbed Hongjoong’s hand.

“The concert?”, he rasped, voice gone from the repeated vomiting.

“We missed you terribly, as did ATINY, but they are were worried and are sending you all their love”, Hongjoong soothed, rubbing his shoulders, “nobody minded, just get better soon.”

“’Kay”, Yunho mumbled, his last reserves of energy depleted, “stay?”

“I’ll stay, baby, don’t worry”, Hongjoong said, exchanging a glance with Seonghwa. They had decided earlier that the two eldest would stay with Yunho during the night, sharing San’s bed. San would have to bunk with one of the others or could enjoy the freedom of a room for himself for once if he decided to sleep in the hyung’s room. But they way Yunho was tugging at Hongjoong’s hand was clear.

Without further ado, Hongjoong slipped into bed with Yunho, wrapping him in his arms. Seonghwa placed a trash can by the side of the bed, then he turned of the light and got under San’s covers.

“Sleep well”, Hongjoong whispered, pressing a kiss to Yunho’s forehead.

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - ATEEZ

[alienaiver]

oh, for the little writing game how about sakusa wasn't sure if it was a wonderful sign or a sign of disaster but he knew... 

also, sorry in advance if the prompt is not very useful haha (๑^-^;๑) i'm sending you lots of love, nohr ♡ you are a fantastic writer!!

ELLE !!!! this one RAN from me i swear i have no idea how it got so long...... it was so fun!!!!!! i hope you enjoy it! im not sure if its exactly what you envisioned but i hope it works all the same and makes you smile !! i love a little lovesick-but-very-awkward sakusa so much.... have a whole fic in my mind for him about being Like That with msby supporting him in woo'ing you //sobs hes SO GOOD had to give this a read more bcos it got long and dont wanna attack anyone with the length LKJFESKFJS <33333

send me a sentence + character and ill write a short scenario where the sentence's included!

Sakusa’s late. It’s a long list of annoying circumstances that makes him late for the last practice of the season – one that he’s been dreading because not much has gone his way and ending it on a negative note grates him. He’s in need of a new phone currently and while that may seem unrelated, it’s unfortunately not. His alarm clock – that Miya talks shit about because who uses alarm clocks in 2022? – laid it’s life last winter and he hasn’t been able to find one that’s the same.

Which is important, because the sound of the clock is what matters and his old one was right.

So he’s been using his phone the past year and it hasn’t been much of a problem for the first part until the battery mysteriously started being unreliable. First, he cursed the charger and bought two or three new ones before he had to finally admit it had nothing to do with those – but that his six-year-old Huawei was about to say goodbye.

Which is still impressive because back then he picked the phone based on the price and didn’t expect it to last as long as it has. He was a broke student at the time and while he isn’t one now, the phone market has become so over-saturated and frankly overwhelming. Every time he goes online to check out which phone to purchase there’s a long list of perks that makes him decide on one – and then he stumbles upon a Reddit post that tells of the longest lists of downsides he’s ever seen.

And it’s like this with every phone he finds. Which pisses him off and he’s been putting off getting a new one precisely for that reason. Komori’s talked about just getting the first and best one since they’ll all have drawbacks but it seems like too a significant choice to just leave up to random chance – what if one of the exact downsides are what he needs the most?

But his alarms didn’t go off – and last night he came in late because Bokuto, Hinata and Miya insisted on watching movies and eating together. If they mention how late he stayed, he’ll probably tell them he felt it rude to leave. If he wasn’t so grumpy from waking up on the wrong side of bed, he’d have told them he had fun. Genuine fun.

He opens the doors to the arena they train in and go straight to the changing rooms. He’s trying to turn on his phone as he walks, knowing the way by heart. Considering that others might walk on his exact route wasn’t on his mind today, so the impact he feels at walking straight into you and dropping his phone makes him yelp out loud. He inhales sharply to try and mask his embarrassment from making the sound of loud. He narrows his eyes as he watches you, keeping himself as neutral as possible.

Of all days, he meets you today.

Sakusa’s not sure if it’s a wonderful sign or a sign of disaster but he knew… today would be the day he asks you out. After all, he won’t have a reason to come here for a while as off-season begins.

There’s a small café in the sports arena that mostly sells sports drinks and quick foods for the athletes who come here. You work there and every day you sell him all the sports drinks for the entire team. He volunteers to pick them up every time so he can have a chance to talk with you but fails miserably every time. It always becomes a stuttering string of words as he pays for the drinks and bows at you before he awkwardly tries to balance them all in his arms.

Once, you even helped him carry them. He blushed the entire way and said not a single word to you.

You apologize and bend down to pick up his phone. The screen is shattered to pieces – no luck turning that on now, he thinks. You start to apologize profusely as you realize what’s happened and he yells, “it’s okay, it was”- he clears his throat to control his volume- “broken anyway!”

You nod but still let out a final apology, “I have to get a new one too, it’s just so annoying to find one between all the brands…” you scratch at your scalp with frustration. Sakusa’s eyes lights up – a common subject!

“Do you want to buy new ones together?”

Fuck. That’s too direct. You laugh and your smile takes his breath away, “…sure? It might be nice to discuss it with someone besides the seller trying to make a buck!” you nod, “you’re Sakusa, right?”

You introduce yourself properly for the first time and it’s not until Miya comes and yell for him to hurry or coach’s gonna kill you that he’s able to leave your side.

“Come by the café in your break and I can give you my contact information!” you promise him as you watch him walk away. Sakusa steals not one but two glances back at you before the door to the changing rooms closes behind him. He’s never been happier about a broken phone in his life.

[headofocs-inklesspen]

I genuinely miss living alone. For 2 1/2 months last year it was just me and the hedgehog and for the first time in my life, I actually felt like I had my own place in the universe.

But because it was more economically logical and because they were essentially homeless with an infant at the time, my current roommate moved in and it just……

It takes a lot of effort to not be really really judgey some days. And not in a “this harmless little trait annoys me way” but a “hey so you keep making these claims about wanting better and to be better and not become your parents or fuck up your kid but you refuse to change or even admit the patterns of behavior that are actively detrimental to that.”

I can’t stand “messiness” in shared spaces, it genuinely impacts my mood. Things have to have homes and they need to be in those homes when not in use. Baby toys go in the bin or in his play area, hedgehog supplies go in the cabinets under her home, dirty cups do not go on the bookshelves in the living room, etc. I have trauma surrounding literally being kept up until 2 in the morning on a school night frantically cleaning over and over as my step-father screams at us for it “not being good enough”. I also take issue with empty apologies and promises. If you don’t mean it, then don’t bother saying it. If you’re not actually sorry or don’t actually plan on trying to change the problem behavior then your words are meaningless.

We’ve had multiple conversations around the clutter of the living room and kitchen and how it is, most heavily, theirs. The biggest one was in August after they had left for a family trip for a week. While they and the child were gone I deep cleaned the apartment in an entire day. Everything, the cabinets the floors, I rearranged furniture in the main room, bought new storage for art supplies, all of it. It took me some 8 odd hours to do it, partially because I can really only do so much like that before my body demands to sit down or I can’t breathe. For a week the entire apartment baring their room was clean and I was fully comfortable. It took all of two days after their return to destroy it. And they admitted that they noticed how, the more clutter and mess they dragged into the living area the more my mood dropped until I nearly hit a depressive episode because there was so much mess and I just felt hopeless trying to deal with it.

I full on told them afterward, I cannot live in a place like this. I cannot live with clutter and crap and constant stuff we have no place for being dragged in. We have to maintain the house, especially the shared spaces.

I wrote out a shared chore list of everything to be done daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly/as necessary. They looked at it once. I continued to do 80-90% of the work.

And I can’t bring myself to kick them out because they have no savings, they’re constantly sending and complaining to me about being completely broke, and their parents house is a literal health code violation due in part to 20+ years of untreated hoarding. I refuse to be the reason a 1y/o would have to live in that/spend any more time there than he already does.

But I’m also sick and tired of hearing constant complaints of not wanting to be their mother/inherit their mother’s hoarding habits and general poor living conditions/inability to maintain a clean and livable space while also watching them just open another trash bag and set it on the floor next to the bin instead of taking the full trash outside and bring 2-5 bags of stuff we do not need and do not have space for home every week.

And part of why it bothers me is because I get almost physically ill at the thought of someone coming in and seeing all of the crap and clutter and dishes and food left laying around from them when I don’t have the energy to work all day and then come home and pick up after another fully grown adult. And I’ve told them that, it’s my biggest “please for the love of whatever you believe in do not because it reflects not just on how they view you but how they view me”. But I’ve still come home to find the communal spaces a wreck and a complete stranger on my couch. They once told me “people live here, it’s never going to be showroom spotless” when I said “hey, it does bother me that despite knowing 1) you’d invited someone over and 2) people seeing the apartment like this makes me viscerally ill and upset, you still didn’t bother to pick anything up or even try to clean the area.”

[mbti-notes]

INFJ. Processing past Fe failures. Want to get better at socializing / having deeper relationships/friendships. Muddling through Ti development - desiring to get better at self-awareness + communication. A lot in my brain and it'd be a lot to share the entirety of recent exchanges that have ended up in failed relationships, so I'll try asking this and hope it's enough to get critical thinking help from you, thank you much in advance. (1/2)

[con't: I notice a pattern of me trying to communicate and express myself to be understand by, or be emotionally met by Fi users, and them responding by saying things like "I don't know what you want from me", "I don't know how to help you," "I'm sorry you feel that way" or them even saying variations of "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" (ENTJ) if I express that I feel dismissed, uncomfortable, or disrespected.

This isn't ALL Fi users thank God & I'm in therapy now to address my downplaying of my emotional needs, being willing to work through anything even though the romantic relationships I'm attracting are woefully incompatible or unhealthy. But I want to get better at doing my part to increase the chance of relationships building. What am I doing/expecting/judging in my communication with Fi users so they respond that way or has me feeling being unseen/misunderstood? Is it the basic INFJ recs?]

You point to Fi specifically. Fi doesn't require outside validation, so perhaps what you're encountering is their lack of concept of outside validation, in the manner that you're seeking it with Fe.

All of those example statements sound like they could be taken sincerely. "I don't know what you want from me" could be an opportunity for you to better explain what you need/want. "I don't know how to help you" could be an opportunity for you to provide better instructions. "I'm sorry you feel that way" could be a helpless admission that the two of you don't see things the same way. "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" could be an indication that there is a need to investigate the big gap between what was perceived and what was actually intended.

Not everyone is going to see eye-to-eye with you, not everyone is going to agree with your version of events, not everyone is going to care about your needs and feelings enough to address them kindly and patiently. This should all be okay with you unless you were walking around expecting everyone out there to have the capacity to meet you emotionally or validate your emotions (unhealthy Fe)? That's simply not gonna happen, so it's an unreasonable expectation. That's why it's so important that YOU be the first to take care of yourself and own your emotions, set proper personal boundaries, and navigate interpersonal boundaries more gracefully.

If you feel someone has violated your boundary (i.e. you feel hurt by them), the answer isn't to violate theirs in return. You're trying to fix a problem in the relationship, so further damaging the relationship isn't going to help. Whether you are right to feel hurt is not the main issue. Feelings themselves are always true and tell you something true about you. However, what you DO about the feelings isn't always right. There are two main ways people deal with negative feelings: 1) bottle them up, which amounts to self-harm, or 2) express them, which opens up the possibility of doing harm to others, if they don't have the means to process your feelings. Neither way is ideal.

If your main approach is to expect people to change (when they can't or don't want to), expect them to give you more than they are capable of giving (due to not having the means or resources), expect them to understand something that they are not really capable of understanding (when they just don't think in the same way as you), etc, your expectations are easily perceived as "demands". You're essentially pressuring people to be what you want them to be, which amounts to dishonoring them and violating their boundary. This approach is usually met with submission or resistance. If they submit to you (because they care for you), they will be unhappy for having allowed you to violate their boundary, and the problem will recur because it was only swept under the rug. If they resist you, conflict ensues, and the relationship bond will be tested and possibly threatened, especially if the conflict recurs without resolution.

There is a way to honor your feelings while also honoring others' feelings. It requires you to have good emotional intelligence and be a good communicator. Good emotional intelligence means respecting your feelings and taking full responsibility for them. Instead of seeing yourself as the victim (i.e. "you made me feel this way"), you see yourself as an agent with the power to decide what is best (i.e. "I feel this way and this is what I should do about it"). Positioning yourself as a passive or helpless victim means that you cast blame and eventually demand reparations. Positioning yourself as an active and influential agent means that you survey the situation objectively and then try to act in the best interests of everyone involved. This is what healthy and confident Fe should look like.

For example, when you feel dismissed, maybe you bottle it up for awhile, until you can't take it anymore (because the problem remains unaddressed). Then you confront people and say, "I feel dismissed". This implies that the other person has done something bad to you. You are the victim, which puts them on the spot, feeling like the bad guy, and then they can't hear you, due to becoming too preoccupied with not wanting to be the bad guy. Communication is likely to stall there, unless they have the wherewithal (emotional intelligence) to keep their focus on you and your concerns.

Instead, you could say to yourself, "I feel dismissed". You take full responsibility for your feelings and validate them for yourself. When you are good at validating your own feelings and emotions (something you admit you really struggle with), you'll eventually find that you won't need to rely on others to do it for you.

What does it mean to feel dismissed? It means that you believe you're not being taken seriously, or something to that effect. Not very difficult to understand. What to do about it? The feeling of disharmony is a message to you that you have to do more to advocate for yourself and make space for yourself within the relationship/group (it is good Fe advice). There are many ways to advocate for yourself without stepping on others. If you choose the right way, in terms of honoring everyone involved, the feeling of being dismissed will dissipate naturally. If you choose the wrong way, in terms of honoring yourself but dishonoring others, you'll encounter the problem again, because you haven't addressed the underlying problem of you positioning yourself as the victim in every relationship conflict. Chronic victim mentality is often an indication that you depend too much on outside validation of your self-worth.

Unless you are stuck in a very toxic social environment, the majority of people are not malicious for no reason. Before accusing or blaming, are you absolutely certain that they INTENDED to dismiss you? If not, wouldn't it be wise to gather more info? For instance, you could ask something like, "Have you had the time to give my idea serious consideration?" No blaming, no battling, no victim-victimizer dynamic. Do you understand how communicating without blame, through genuine inquiry, avoids trapping the both of you in a vicious cycle of seeking emotional reparations? You give people the benefit of the doubt. You give people the chance to clarify or explain. You give yourself the chance to grasp the FULL picture so that you can make a more informed decision about what to do (based on their response to your question). But this presence of mind isn't possible when you can't accept your feelings/emotions and they run wild as a result.

One common misapplication of Ti is the tendency to jump to illogical conclusions or make up illogical stories about what is motivating people's negative behavior, all the while believing that you're being completely logical. It's a destructive way to deal with negative or disharmonious feelings. Once the false narrative infects your mind, you can't help but perceive the person as attacking you, even when they're not. This misuse of Ti is a major impediment to relationship building.

The problem with victim mentality is that you are hyperfocused on your perspective only, so you only have half the picture, which means making ill-informed decisions. If you are prone to Ti loop, you need to get to the bottom of why you're so quick to position yourself in the passive position of victim. A healthy relationship should be an equal partnership based on trust, which means that you should always try to 1) give people the benefit of the doubt, and 2) gather the facts of the situation before drawing a conclusion about what they intended or what kind of character they are.

If the fact of the matter is that the person really doesn't care about your feelings, then you know not to seek validation from them, and perhaps distance from them for your own good. Don't play around in toxic or abusive relationships. If the fact of the matter is that your perception of the situation doesn't match up with what they intended to say/do, then it's up to you to straighten out the situation in your mind before proceeding.

Trust your feelings, validate your feelings, but don't act blindly on them (i.e. without fully grasping what's happening with the other person). Figure out why exactly you're feeling what you're feeling, then take it up with the person in a way that addresses the root of the problem and in a way that doesn't immediately put them on the defensive. Conflict is sometimes unavoidable, but being more skilled at communicating your concerns will certainly reduce the amount of pain required to reach a resolution.

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

10.1k tweets

QUACKITY

20k tweets

ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?

13.7k tweets

[realcube]

characters dealing with a deep sleeper! s/o  (_　_)。゜zｚＺ

characters: bokuto, oikawa & saiki k 

tw// swearing, fluff, mentions of death, illness, funerals, sexual references 

Kōtarō Bokuto

he literally thought you died 

this was your first time sleeping over at his home and last night, y’all were stuffing your faces with treats until your stomachs ached

you had mentioned several times how you were feeling sick - even after bokuto took you out for a late-night run - but he just told you to take a pain-killer and sleep it off

but now he was kinda regretting not calling someone to help 

like what if the sickness was a symptom to a deadly disease which took you overnight?

plus, he had tried everything he could think of to wake you up: he shook you, he blasted music from his phone, he opened the curtains to allow blinding light to shine on you, he flicked spits of cold water onto your face and he literally wafted cookies around the room in hopes you’d catch the scent 

but it was no use as even after all that, you didn’t move an inch

he tried to check your pulse which he believed to be on the wrist but he couldn’t think it 

so either he was too stupid to find the exact location or......you didn’t have a pulse

he’ll admit, it was an eerie thought that there could be a dead person in his bed rn but even he considered that a rather outlandish idea 

how could a person as healthy as you just die overnight? so he did what any reasonable person would do in that situation-- no, not call a doctor

he held a funeral for his beloved s/o 💀

he gathered all five of the plushies laying around his room (all of which were owls) and lined them up on the foot of the bed 

‘we are all gathered here today to celebrate the epic life of my partner, (y/n) (l/n).’ he sobbed into the sleeve of the black blazer he had pulled out of his closet, ‘gone too soon.’

silence. but in his mind he was met by a chorus of ‘aww’s and whimpers from the crowd

‘i loved them. (y/n) was my rock; they helped me through some of the hardest points in my life--’

his speech was cut off upon hearing one of the audience members pipe up, ‘bo, what are you doing?’

a wave of excitement washed over him as he scurried up to the line of guests, closely examining each one, ‘i didn’t know y’all could talk!’

you rolled your eyes before leaning forward and gently tapping the back of his head, ‘it’s me.’

upon laying his eyes on you, healthy and alive, his lips curled into a foolishly large grin as he immediately pulled you into a tight hug, ‘(Y/N), you’re alive!’ he cried

you gasped at his rather dramatic reaction before slowly melting into his embrace, ‘yes, i am.’

as your lips parted from the skin of his jaw and he slowly let his arms fall from your waist, you finally inquired, ‘did you hold a funeral for me?’

bokuto’s eyes-widened at your ‘crazy’ suggestion, ‘uhhhh, nooooo.’

if his elongating of each word wasn’t enough to show that he was lying, the dead giveaway would have to be the sheet of A4 paper with ‘(Y/N)’S FUNERAL 😭’ written on it that was stuck to the door with blu-tac

ignoring his completely false reply, you leaned back on the bed and picked up on the owl plushies, gently stroking it’s soft fur, ‘are these the guests? why are there only five?’

bokuto shrugged, picking up one himself and absentmindedly attempting to balance it on your head, ‘seven; if you count me and you.’

you giggled, about to make a inquire about the names of each guest until bokuto suddenly through his arms around you again 

‘why didn’t you tell me that you are such a deep-sleeper before?! i was so worried - i thought you died! please never die on me again, (y/n)?’

you smiled, pulling back to plant a sweet kiss on his cheek, ‘i promise.’

Tōru Oikawa

he would take advantage of this opportunity lol

the first time y’all slept over together as a couple, he had no idea that you were as deep of a sleeper as you actually are

like he thought you meant ‘i sometimes sleep through my alarms’ deep-sleeper

NOT ‘IT TAKES A WHOLE NATURAL DISASTER TO WAKE ME UP IN THE MORNING’ DEEP-SLEEPER (/h)

anyway, at first, he’d probably just freshen up while you sleep: take a shower, wash his face, brush his teeth, floss etc so he’s no longer effected by that ✨morning crust ✨

but when he pokes his head out of the bathroom and noticed that your sleep asleep, he tries to blow-dry his hair bc he knows how much you like it when it’s all fluffy

but his blow-dryer was quite loud so he put it on for a few seconds to see if it’s wake you up and just as he expected, you were still sound asleep

so he blew-dry his hair until it was that soft texture that you liked so much- all while you were still like (∪.∪ )...zzz even though the blow-dryer was making a racket 

you were still sleeping and upon looking at the time, he realised that it was completely fair considering it was currently half past 8 and he had just woken up extremely early for some unknown reason

he didn’t want to wake you so he was just doing to go out for a run or make breakfast until he caught a glimpse of himself in mirror

o.O

despite his  puffy hair and pearly-white smile, he still looked sloppy

but it was definitely bc of his stained, torn, washed-out pyjamas tbh

he was just wearing an old T-shirt that he’s had for god-knows how long and a pair of grey sweatpants; it wasn’t a look

he had no idea what possessed him to wear such casual nightwear while you were at his house - especially when you chose to wear something so relaxed yet titillating - but he knew that he needed to change

after a while of rummaging through his nightwear drawer, the best he could find was a pair of white, silk, loose-legged trousers which he had bought for a halloween costume many years ago

it was pretty classy though :)) he was sure that you’d like it 

however, he still couldn’t find anything to wear on his top half but there is no fashion problem oikawa can’t solve 

thus, he went shirtless ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

he also threw on some jewellery too, just for the lols

you weren’t awake yet thought, so after he set up some candles to create a ‘mood’, he just sat next to you on the bed, scrolling on his phone and anticipating your reaction once you woke up

for a moment, he thought that he might’ve went when too far but upon taking a look at himself in his front-facing camera, he realised that there was no harm in spicing things up

once he noticed one of your eyes slowly flutter open, he quickly tossed his phone to the side and turned his body to face you, shooting you a kind smile and he gently ran a hand through his fluffy hair, ‘morning, angel~’ he cooed

you grumbled your greeting in response, then proceeded to rub your eyes to make sure you were seeing him correctly, ‘what are you wearing, tōru?’

‘can a guy not dress up for his special someone anymore?’

you rolled your eyes, playfully slapping his chest and going to hop out of bed until he pulled you back down against the sheets

a faint gasp escaped your lips but you were quickly hushed by oikawa pushing his finger against your lips, ‘you’re not going anywhere, (y/n).’

Kusuo Saiki

this was the first time you ever slept over at his house or next to him yet y’all had been dating for year and a half

he was just scared that he might accidently do something crazy in his sleep (bc of his powers ofc) and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you 🥺

you were patient with him though but bc y’all had never woken up together before, he had no idea how deep of a sleeper you are

he thought it was cute at first bc you were laying there like the beauty you are, lookin’ all serene and calm and stuff

but after a while, he got bored on his own  #•̀ ︿ •́

also, you promised to bake macarons with him for breakfast and he was hungry as hell, still he didn’t want to eat without you but if he didn’t wake you up rn to make macarons, he’d surely starve to death while they were in the fridge

on any other day, he’d just try do it himself but when you helped him make food- it just hit different 😍

‘(y/n), wake up.’  he spoke into your mind using his telepathy, while light nudging your arm, ‘i’m hungry.’

you didn’t reply, seeming completely knocked out

he tried the next best thing, holding his annoying alarm noise near (but not too close) to your ear

still nothing, though

his last human attempt was aggressively pulling your blanket away but even after that you showed no signs of waking up so he realised that he’d have to resort to using his physic abilities

he considered using his astral projection to possess your body but he felt as though taking over your body might cross a few boundaries 

but he did try duplicating himself so he could shake you from many different angles but it was still no use

he continued to use his telepathy to try wake you up but it didn’t seem to work either

after multiple different attempts of using his powers to try wake you up; here he was, standing in the middle of some dystopian, apocalyptic scene - alarms ringing in the distant along with sirens, screaming, honking and wails. everything around him seemed to be engulfed by flames which created thick, smoky air 

he wasn’t really sure how he got here but he was pretty sure it started around the time he tried to form an energy ball 

whatever 🤷‍♂️ it’s no biggie

he jumped back in time so he was standing next to your bed once again, exactly where he left off before he created the energy ball

he stared down at your sleeping figure and let out an exasperated sigh as he realised that he’d have to employ one of his most dangerous tactics

he really hoped it didn’t have to come to this

‘(y/n), if you get up right now.’ his voice rung through your head, ‘i speak with my voice.’

just like that, both of your eyes shot open as you hastily sat up on the bed

‘do it, saiki!’ you cheered, a foolishly large grin plastered on your features

and he couldn’t help but smile too 

curse you for being so cute

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Illuminated, pt.2

Summary: Seeing an old friend isn’t always a happy occasion, but it can direct you to someone who undoubtedly makes your heart beat faster.

Warnings: talk of war and death, book spoilers

Part 1   

=================================

It felt strange to be walking the same halls she once revered. Y/N had barely grown at all since her time at Little Palace, if anything she'd claim she got shorter, but the walls didn't seem as intimidating as they used to.

Back then, she was just a clueless girl with dreams that turned into nightmares. The war had left deep wounds everywhere in Ravka and for that, Y/N would curse Alina Starkov's name until her dying breath.

Ravka trusted Alina to rescue them from the darkness, but she only expanded it. She fled from her responsibility and responded with force when General Kirigan asked for accountability.

Y/N was considered too young to be allowed in battle, sent away by the Darkling with children who have not yet mastered their particular branch of small science. Grisha a year older than her were given the chance to protect Ravka, something she wished she could have done. 

If it were up to her, she'd have stood by him instead of hiding.

Y/N had always been quite capable of controlling her power. Whether it be fire, wind or water, she held a firm grasp over all three elements with an iron fist and a terrifyingly sharp mind. She had developed attacks no one else is capable of, the kind that made other Grisha wary of her ferocity.

Naturally, she assumed that was why General Kirigan had called on her. The last thing she expected was to have the General, her King, admire the abominable blue flames she wields.

"Y/N?" A breathless reminder of a voice she once knew had stopped her in her tracks.

Looking over her shoulder, Y/N's lips break into a wide smile at the sight of her old friend and confidant.

She didn't waste time, running toward the girl who had fiery hair Y/N always wanted to have too. Colliding with Genya, Y/N couldn't stop a laugh that escaped her as she wrapped her arms around her much taller friend.

“I. Can’t. Breathe!” Genya manages to say between shallow, strained breaths. 

Chuckling, Y/N releases her from the death grip she calls a hug. She’s never been subtle in showing affection, or hate.

“I can’t believe it’s you!” Y/N exclaims, her attempt to quiet down failing before she even tries.

With a surprised smile set on her lips, Genya nods. “I didn’t realize you’d be at Little Palace.”

Faltering, Y/N licks her lips as her smile is erased. “You don’t seem too happy about that.”

“Little Palace isn’t exactly the safest place in Ravka anymore”, Genya musses.

Scoffing, Y/N furrows her eyebrows. “Alina made it unsafe.” Lifting her chin, Y/N continues, “The Darkling will protect us.”

Pursing her lips, Genya looks around carefully to ensure they’re alone. “That’s the problem. While he’s here, no one is safe.” Taking Y/N by the elbow, she pulls her aside toward the open window to help disguise their voices from any curious listeners. “Alina was our only hope of killing him.”

Ripping her arm away from Genya’s hold, Y/N narrows her eyes at the friend she once trusted more than anyone else in this world. When there was no hope, Genya put a smile on her face. Even when Y/N was losing herself, she had Genya to remind her of who she is.

She never doubted her friend, never questioned her loyalty or sanity. Until now. 

“Genya, who did you fight alongside with?” Y/N asks sharply, her lips forming a thin line.

“You don’t know the entire story”, Genya tries but Y/N steps away as if she’d been burned.

The war had made warriors from children for no matter how they tried to protect their innocence, war leaves no one untouched. When Alina Starkov decided to turn her back on Grisha, Y/N and many others have been forced to grow up far too quickly. No silly crushes or petty arguments mattered for the blood had reached them once Alina slaughtered Botkin in front of them. It was the only taste of war Y/N had for she had killed for the first time on that day. 

Alina is the reason she has blood on her hands.

“The story I do know is enough for me”, Y/N huffs as she shakes her head at Genya. “The fact our General did not kill you is proof of his generosity. Perhaps you should learn to appreciate him. Your precious Alina never showed such mercy.”

Turning her back on Genya, Y/N headed back. She didn’t want to explore the old corridors anymore, but to bathe and sleep. From tomorrow on, she’ll be working with Kirigan on her new ability and she didn’t want to display any reasons for him to distrust her.

She pauses as Genya speaks up.

“I wonder what will get you killed faster – your loyalty or stubbornness?”

Turning her head to the left, Y/N could see her old friend in her peripheral vision. “At least I’ll die for something I believe in. I’ll die for Ravka. Can you say the same?”

Fuming, Y/N tossed and turned in her bed. She turned the pillow to the colder side, she even tried turning her head on the opposite side of the headboard, but nothing could calm her mind or the itching to use her powers to blow off some steam.

The one part of herself she truly did connect with the Inferni was the temper she often got in trouble for. When Nina Zenik called her stupid, she burned off her eyebrows and Botkin forced her to wake up at the crack of dawn and do sprints for the next month as punishment. It’s probably the only time in her life she was truly in good form.

Grunting, she raised her legs and slammed them back on the mattress in frustration. Tossing the blanket off, she grabbed her blue kefta and left the room. 

Her footsteps echo the halls as she all but runs out, straight into the foggy morning air outside. The cold pinches her skin, her lips trembling for a moment before she sinks her front teeth into her bottom lip. Her breaths come in visible puffs of air as she wraps her arms around her middle while securing her hands under her armpits to stop herself from using her power that’s calling to her like the siren song calls sailors to their certain death.

Y/N always had the misfortune of wearing her heart on her sleeve with those she cares for. She also has a nasty tendency to either feel nothing or everything at once and when someone she loves turns out to be different than what she believed, it causes an uncontrollable explosion of emotion deep within.

“Is there a particular reason you’re outside at this ungodly hour?” A deep voice makes her gasp as she turns to look at the very person she most admires.

Raising her eyebrows, she nearly laughed as she realized the Darkling wore not his kefta, but the clothes he sleeps in. It’s loose clothing, black as his kefta and horse and yet it gives off a softness she did not realize a man as powerful as him could ever possess.

“I’d ask you the same, General”, she retorts with her eyebrows still raised as if she’s challenging him to come closer and make her stop ogling him.

For a moment, she thought he might turn away and leave as he stood there calmly. It feels as if he’s studying her, taking in every inch of her and committing it to memory. If it were any other man, Y/N would have spoken up or acted out to prevent the uncomfortable feeling of being watched so intimately, yet she didn’t want Kirigan to ever stop looking at her. If not for her fear of being too forward, she’d invite him closer.

As if he read her mind, Kirigan takes a step closer….and then another one. She can’t help but wonder what’s going through his mind. 

What does he see when he looks at her? 

How does she look in his eyes, because the way he’s looking at her now is taking her breath away?

He looks at her as if there is something worth looking at.

“Sometimes my mind turns on me”, he admits in a low, quiet tone that Y/N has to strain to hear him properly. “I’ve lived a long life and a longer one awaits me. My mind is full of ghosts that want retribution for what I did to them.”

Swallowing thickly, she straightens her back as she comes closer – close enough to feel his breath as it fans the hair at the top of her head.

“What did you do to them?”

The left corner of his lips twitches. “You’d think ill of me if I told you.”

Averting her gaze to his bare chest revealed by the wind as it pulled the fabric of his shirt, Y/N licks her lips. She argues with herself on her next move, wondering if it would be improper to touch the man who had been considered untouchable by everyone she ever met. Her fingers years to feel his skin under their tips, to slowly trail the jawline she wants to press her lips against.

Frowning softly, she bites her lower lip as she locks her eyes on his dark ones. Unlike many before her, she does not crumble under the weight of his heavy gaze. Her heart trembles as she reaches out and places her palm on his chest.

He didn’t expect her to touch him, tensing up. It’s surprising how warm her hand is, more so how inviting the warmth is. He’s hyper-aware of every breath he takes as his chest expands under her touch, hoping this incredibly brazen Grisha does not feel the way his heart jumps with the sudden surge of her bravery.

When he notices her lips move, he holds his breath as if the simple act of breathing could muffle her voice and make it harder for him to soak up the blind loyalty and love she holds for him.

“Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two different things. You’re not evil for choosing to protect yourself and your country. I could never think badly of you, General.”

It’s been a long time since he found someone so incredibly devoted to him and his cause, exhilarating him to the core. Alina had never truly believed in him for she always considered him wicked, but Y/N couldn’t be more different. Perhaps he’s right and this time it will work. 

With someone trusting as Y/N is, he can’t possibly fail again.

Letting her hand fall, Y/N looks away as she realizes she crossed the line and his silence is the easiest way for him to inform her of it. Truth be told, she wondered who was the last woman who got to lay her hand on his chest.

Was it Alina?

There were rumors of the relationship Kirigan and Alina supposedly had and Y/N always felt a pang of jealousy upon hearing the girls talk. She never knew him, she never truly had him and she never will, but the idea someone else does brought her pain.

Perhaps her overthinking or the increasingly awkward silence prompted her temper to speak instead of her brain.

"Did you love her?" Y/N blurts out. 

Her eyes widen as she realizes her thoughts have become vocal and in the presence of the very man she should be watching her mouth around.

"I apologize. It must be a difficult time to reminisce about." Maybe Nina was right – she is stupid!

"It is quite alright.” Darkling lets out an audibly heavy breath. “I did not love her, I trusted her. I trusted her enough to put all my hope for a better Ravka on her shoulders and she betrayed our country."

"No", she reaches out slowly, her hand finding its way to his as it gingerly grasps his fingers. "She betrayed you."

Smiling reluctantly, Kirigan finds himself wondering if he should embrace the fact Y/N seems to be a very touchy person or if he should set some boundaries. Despite the shiver that runs down his spine, he allows her hand to fully take his as he closes his fingers around hers.

"I should have seen it coming. I'm far too used to betrayal."

"I'd never do that", she pauses. "I'd never betray you. I'd never break your trust."

Her responses are quick, so innocent and naïve that he can’t help but feel guilty about every moment he spends near her. No one should send a doe eyed beauty into the clutches of a beast so easily, yet he has no desire to force her to leave.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Smiling, her entire face lights up. It’s a true delight to witness so early in the morning after a long night of nightmares he faced.

“Do not worry, General. I have every intention on proving myself to you.”

Glancing at their hands, her smile widens. She spent years wishing for this and now that it’s happening she can’t seem to believe it’s real.

“The sun will come up soon”, he changes the topic.

Y/N fears he might leave and her hand would be back at her side as she watches his retreating figure, but when he speaks again her heart dances in her chest.

“Would you like to watch the sunrise with me?”

Inhaling sharply, she nods. “Very much so.”

Unfortunately for them, someone else couldn’t sleep that night and they had seen just enough for a terrible plan to be born.

=================================

A/N - So, I’m definitely going to play with the books here and twist some things to fit the storyline I have in mind. There might be some spoilers, so read with caution. I debated on making more than a one shot for this and taking on some ideas I have for Darkling but also Nikolai, so I’m not sure how long this will be just yet. 

Tags: @deceivedeer​ @evyiione​ @measshaw​

Part 3

[bonnyskies]

deadly agenda ⇢ myg

min yoongi is a dangerous man. you’re a manipulative wife. together, you two are a deadly duo, and you both have your own agenda.

pairing — emperor!yoongi x wife!malereader ft. king-husband!taehyung

genres — angst, sexual themes, royalty!au, strangers-to-lovers!au

warnings — age-gap (reader is 20, yoongi is 28), swearing, degrading terms, mentions of death, feminization, descriptions of murder, sexual themes, infidelity, betrayal, slight voyeurism, yoongi is intimidating and reader is manipulative, basically they’re just plain evil

author’s note — i hate tumblr’s new update. i had more to write (not enough for a part two) but couldn’t because of the new 250 text box rule. but as for this story, this is probably the longest one i’ve written so far and the one i’m most proud of. anyway, hope you all enjoy and sorry for taking so long to upload this, took lots of planning and rewriting, plus i’ve been busy with school too.

word count — 7.4k

masterlist

Min Yoongi is a cautious, yet observant man.

Whoever steps foot in his palace, he makes sure to know everything about them. Who they are, they’re background, appearance, and how they approach him. Each and every thing can help him learn who he can trust, and who he cannot, who are his allies—and who are his enemies.

Yoongi stood by his palace’s entrance, accompanied with his guards and greeted his special guests, one by one as they walked up his home’s grand steps. He makes sure to take notes on each and every person’s facial expression, their appearance, chosen attire, and the certain way they walk up to him.

Anything could benefit him into knowing them. Their wealth and clan can be identified based on their specific appearance and choice of clothing. Their facial expressions help him learn what their true feelings and intentions are towards him that are hidden by their fake smiles and words. And lastly, the way they walk up to him can help him know the type of personality they have, whether that be obedient and innocent, or arrogant and untrustworthy.

The way he learns about his guests have never failed him. That was, until he met you.

Yoongi would be lying if he said he wasn’t astonished when his eyes laid on you for the first time. There were many things that left him utterly speechless when meeting you. For one, when his advisor told him that his guest would be bringing his wife, he was expecting a woman—not a man.

Another thing that left Yoongi speechless was your appearance, mostly your attire. You were dressed in feminine-like clothing, silk robes that were decorated with gold jewelry instead of fine material clothing with armor plating like what many men of royalty wear. And you also didn’t hold a blade like most men do too. Instead, you held a simple wooden decorative fan.

And lastly, your eyes.

Yoongi has a remarkable judge of character. Maybe not as good when it came to you, but still adequate. On the outside, your eyes were shining with gentleness and a kind greeting. But he could tell there was something else hidden behind them—something that left him intrigued by you.

You had an agenda—plans, and Yoongi was determined to find out what they are.

The welcoming feast was extremely dull.

Yoongi absorbed gallons of wine into his system, hoping that would help numb his mind and get through the rest of the evening without having to tear somebody’s head off from their body.

And apparently you thought the same as he did. Across the table, Yoongi watched as you fanned yourself out of boredom while everyone else were socializing with one another, an unamused facial expression shown on your face. Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle behind his glass when seeing one of the other wives say something to you and you flashed her a quick smile before dropping it back down into a straight line.

It seems his attention on you didn’t go unnotice because next thing he knew, your eyes were now on him. Yoongi was expecting hints of disgust or uncomfort from you, but instead he was met with sly smirk and a raised brow.

Yoongi watches intently as you leaned over and whispered into your husband’s ear. Your husband—Kim Taehyung then stood up from his seat and bowed his head, “Excuse me, your Majesty.”

Yoongi turned his head towards your husband, diverting his attention completely away from you.

“My wife is not feeling well at the moment, so with your permission, would it be alright if he can take his leave from the feast early?”

The entire dining hall fell silent, shocked expressions plastered on everyone’s faces at the table.

Nobody has ever dared to leave one of Min Yoongi’s feasts before. Who would want to, right? It’s considered a great honor for one self and their kingdom to be invited by the Emperor himself to attend one of his events.

Whispers began to spread amongst the guests.

“How shameless is Kim Taehyung’s wife?”

“Wanting to leave the Emperor’s feast early? Utterly shameless I tell you.”

“That Taehyung needs to discipline his wife.”

“Doesn’t he know how important his Majesty’s events are? And he wants to leave just because he isn’t feeling well? Unbelievable.”

“He needs to learn some manners—”

Anxiety swept across Taehyung’s face when hearing the gossips coming from the other royals, eyes wide and mouth gaped open with panic. “Forgive me, your Majesty, I never intended to—”

With just the clear of his throat, everybody fell silent once again and all eyes were now on him. Yoongi’s gaze would shift between you and your husband, curiosity filling his veins when noticing that there wasn’t any signs of illness presently visible on you. You weren’t trembling, your eyes weren’t red and skin wasn’t showing any signs of flushness. You looked fine.

That only caused more questions to form in Yoongi’s mind. Like, what do you exactly want, and what is your reason for being here? Because according to his advisor, you weren’t even part of the guest list until today. That only raised even more suspicions he had towards you.

And it’s not like he can just throw you out—actually, he can. It’s just that he doesn’t want to because now he’s curious, and he wants to see how things turn out.

“He can go,” Yoongi says a brief silence, immediately noticing the small smile creeping onto your lips. “But take him to see the physician and let him check him out,” and then it dropped.

“N-No, your Majesty,” you spoke up, lips parted. “You don’t have to do that—”

“You’re feeling unwell, right?” Yoongi then asks, smirking at the silence he got in reply. “Well, you should let my physician diagnose you then. Don’t worry though, you’re in great hands.”

One of his guards that stood by his side approached you and started to guide you to the physician’s office. And while you were leaving, Yoongi could see the glare coming from you and aimed right at him.

If you wanted to play games with him, he’ll play.

Wandering through the palace halls at night was something Yoongi usually does whenever he can’t sleep.

And apparently you had the same tendency too.

While mindlessly strolling through his palace’s hallways, Yoongi’s eyes suddenly landed on your approaching figure, the first thing catching his attention was your choice of clothing. You were dressed in golden inner robes, your sleep-wear, and the material was so thin and transparent that every feature about you was visible to him. The sight of your clear, smooth skin and every curve of your body and muscles made his mouth water. It was like you were purposely dressed like that to seduce him.

Another thing that caught his eye was the small, slightly torn grayish book that was in your grasp, which was where your complete attention was on because you still haven’t noticed his presence despite the two of you walking towards the other.

“Hello, your Highness,” you jumped out of fear, eyes wide and closing your book when your gaze landed on him. “May I ask why you are wandering around my palace this late at night?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” you simply answered, fingers tight around the cover the book, which only made Yoongi even more curious as to what you were exactly reading. “And it seems you are having the same problem as well, am I correct?”

Yoongi only hummed in reply, taking another small step towards you until you two now stood only inchest apart, him towering over you and staring down right at you. “Is there something wrong with your chambers? I can tell my servants to move you and your husband into a more comfortable place for you—”

“No no, your Majesty,” you were quick to interject. “Everything is perfect. It’s just that I’ve always had trouble sleeping at another royal’s residence, that’s all.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but find your reason funny, because he has always had trouble sleeping when there were other people staying in his palace.

A brief silence came between you two before Yoongi spoke up once again, “I’ll be taking a quick walk around my garden, you can accompany me if you like.” He didn’t wait for your reply before leaving, but when hearing the sound of your footsteps behind him right after, a smirk grew on his lips.

“You know, you never really introduced yourself when we first met,” Yoongi then brought up while the two of you made your way to the gardens.

“Forgive me, your Majesty,” you bowed your head apologetically before replying, “My name is ___, Kim ___.”

“It’s a great pleasure to meet you, Kim ___,” Yoongi reached down and took your hand into his, pressing a soft, yet tender kiss on the back of your palm, smirking at the evident blush forming on your cheeks. “And I’ve got to say, you are looking quite well for someone that claimed to be feeling sick not even three hours ago,” and that is when your smile dropped.

“Must’ve been my anxiety,” you were quick to reply back, your eyes never leaving his. “After all, I am staying at the Emperor’s palace for the first time.”

Yoongi was impressed honestly, he had to admit. For everything he had to say against you, you had something say right back at him. There isn’t a lot of people who have that type of skill to think of words—believeable words right on the spot. Anybody would believe what you were saying—too bad he isn’t just anybody.

“Must be...,” Yoongi just says, eyeing you slightly. His gaze then shifted onto the book in your hand. “What are you reading there?”

“Oh this,” you held the book up, “It’s called Flowers of the Region—a guide to every type of flower that is grown and can be found in both the South and the North. It’s my favorite book.”

“Well, that’s fortunate,” Yoongi points out, “you like flowers, and we so happen to be going to my garden. What’s your favorite flower?”

“Lily of the Valley,” you answer with a smile. “Have you heard of it?”

“I have,” Yoongi replied, his interest towards you growing even more. Lily of the Valley, despite the beautiful features of the white flower, it is proven to be quite deadly when digested. “They are only found on top of the Southern mountains—but lucky for you, I happen to grow them right here in my garden.”

Your smile grew even wider. “That’s great.”

The rest of the walk to the gardens was in silence with you trailing forward while Yoongi stood back. And with your eyes focused on the path in front of you, Yoongi couldn’t help but send glances at you every once in a while, his eyes burning into your back, admiring at the clear view your smooth skin through the thin, transparent material of your inner robes.

He surely needs to give whoever crafted your sleepwear a raise—and a big one too.

When the two of you finally got to the gardens, you were left instantly speechless at the sight of the many plots of different flowers, ranging from beautiful, vibrant ones that were quite common to dark, mysterious ones that you’ve never even seen before.

Yoongi couldn’t deny how adorable you looked though when seeing his garden for the first time, eyes wide, shining with admiration and your mouth gaped open.

“This is beautiful,” you gasped, leaning down and running your fingers delicately over some flowers.

“Thank you,” Yoongi stood beside you, “I make sure my gardeners take good care of this place.”

Silenced filled the atmosphere as Yoongi stood back and silently watched you admiring the many flowers. Normally he’d be annoyed for someone touching his property, but for some odd reason when it came to you he didn’t mind so much. Perhaps it’s because this might be the only way for him to get close to you and learn about your true intentions—or maybe he just really wants to fuck you.

Yoongi found himself once again staring at you, watching as you bent over to get a closer look at one of the flowers, giving him a perfect view of your ass and hips, both in which he wants to grab and caress with his large hands.

“So,” Yoongi spoke up after some silence, “how exactly did you become the new Lady Kim?”

Yoongi instantly noticed the way your body tensed from his question. “I was his Highness’s personal servant. When his wife suddenly passed away, he was a complete mess and I was the only one that stayed by his side through the entire mourning process. I was the one that comforted him whenever he was feeling down, I made sure he was taking care of himself and helped him with his royal duties.”

Yoongi then noticed your shoulder slumping. “After about a month or so, he started seeking me for a...different kind of comfort.” Sex. “Soon later he decided to make his new wife—the new Lady Kim.”

“You don’t seem so happy about the change in position,” Yoongi commented, “I’m sure this is much better than being a simple servant. You’re a royal now.”

“Oh, I am,” you quickly corrected him, “But being a man and having a feminine title can sometimes make things complicated.”

“Well then, don’t make them complicated.” Yoongi suggested, “You’re not a servant anymore, you’re a royal. They may not respect you now, but you have the power to make them do so.”

“Don’t worry, I know,” you told him sternly. “They’ll learn to respect me. Whether that be the hard way or the easy way—it’s their choice. So you better watch out, your Majesty, or something bad might happen to you,” you laughed softly.

Yoongi released a forceful chuckle, eyes briefly squinting at you suspiciously. It may have sound like a harmless joke, but to him, he could hear the small hints of truth behind them. “Oh trust me, I will. I wouldn’t want you as an enemy.”

“And you as well,” you replied, eyeing him back.

Silence came between you two again, Yoongi leaving you to inspect his garden in peace while he stood back and watched you. It wasn’t until an hour has passed you spoke up again, yawning, “we should head back to bed, your Majesty. We have that conference in the morning with the other royals and we need the energy.”

“You’re right,” Yoongi agreed, nodding and stepping aside so that you could walk ahead of him and back inside the place with him following right beside you. “Let me walk you back to your room.”

You didn’t say anything, only held your head low to hide the small grin on your face as the both of you made your back to the chambers. And as you two got closer to your destination, you both were froze at the sound of moaning.

Yoongi was confused at first as who it could be, but when turning to you and seeing the hardened expression on your face, he knew.

“O-Oh, Taehyung—f-faster, please!”

Yoongi was speechless. He knew many royals took on concubines while being married, but he didn’t know someone could so shameless as to bringing them to another person’s residence alongside their spouse. “Your Highness—”

“Don’t bother, your Majesty,” you spoke calmly, eyes hard and emotionless. “I’m use to it by now and it doesn’t really bother me anymore.”

“Really, it doesn’t?”

You shook your head. “At first it did, but after sleeping with my husband so many times I have learned that the only person he cares to satisfy is himself.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle. What kind of husband doesn’t have the desire to satisfy is own wife? Maybe he should take you to his chambers and show you exactly what you’re missing. “Well, I-I’m still sorry for you.”

You simply shrugged your shoulders, “it doesn’t matter, your Majesty. Have a good night.”

Yoongi watched as you then opened the door went inside the chamber, causing your husband and the woman to stop and look at you with wide eyes.

“Don’t mind me,” you said to them, not even bothering to glance at them, shocking Yoongi. “I’ll be on the balcony reading my book. Just let me when you two are done.”

Taehyung’s attention instantly went back to the woman that was straddling his lap when hearing your words, hands kneading her breasts and hips and started thrusting back up into her, causing moans to erupt from both of them. Yoongi didn’t why, but the sight of them made his blood boil.

Maybe he should go in there and fuck you in front of your husband? That’ll show him what he is missing out.

Yoongi continued to watch through the crack in the door as you walked past the couple and went onto the balcony. And once you were out of his sight, that’s when he finally got a clear view of the woman on your husband’s lap, and he instantly recognized her. She was one of the servants that accompanied you and Taehyung here. Yoongi distinctly remembered seeing her earlier today, serving you tea after you got back from seeing the physician.

Yoongi glared at the couple, scoffing at the sight. What did that Kim Taehyung see in that whore of a servant that you don’t have?

You are far more enticing than she is.

Taking one last glance at the shameless couple, Yoongi retreated back to his chambers. And while he did so, his mind suddenly went back to you. How did someone so...unique end up with a man like Kim Taehyung? He’s a weak person, a shame to royal blood. You deserve to be with someone with real power, someone who would never leave you unsatisfied, both physically and emotionally. Someone like me.

Yoongi could feel himself harden just from the thought of you.

Damn you for having this type of power over me, his mind cursed. Yoongi has slept with countless of other royals before, both men and women, and he has never encountered someone like you.

You are truly something else.

“Damn,” Yoongi mumbled out to nobody in particular, palming himself through his robes. “How the hell am I going to get rid of this?”

And right on queue, a young servant boy just happened to be walking right by Yoongi when the question ran through his head.

“Stop,” was all he said, making the servant boy freeze in his place.

“Y-Yes, your Majesty?”

Yoongi took slow, intimidating steps towards him until he was towering over him, using his hands to cup his chin and forcing the servant boy to meet his eyes. “How would you feel having the honor of spending the night with your Emperor?”

The servant boy couldn’t stop the small smile from forcing on his face. “I-I would love that, your Majesty.”

That was Yoongi needed to hear before leaning down capturing the servant’s boys lips with his, hands moving to his thighs and hoisting him up in his arms and carrying him into his chambers, lips never separating.

“You’re a eager one, are you?” Yoongi chuckled against the servant boy’s mouth, moving his lips down his neck and forcing a whimpering moan from him.

“I-It’s my duty to serve y-you, your Majesty.”

That brought a smile on Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi couldn’t find you anywhere the next day.

He couldn’t find at you breakfast, he couldn’t find you during the conference with the other royals and their wives, and he couldn’t find you at lunch. Now as dinner was approaching, there still wasn’t any sign of you anywhere.

But he had no problem finding your husband. Wherever he saw Taehyung, he saw that whore of a servant trailing behind him like a pet—but you no where to be seen.

Yoongi thought about approaching him to ask about your whereabouts, but he couldn’t help but think of the consequences that would happen afterwards. But that still didn’t stop him from sending glares at the younger royal and the servant every now and then, which didn’t go unnotice by either of them.

“Is there something wrong, your Majesty,” Taehyung finally asks, breaking the tensed silence between the two of them. “You’ve been staring at me all day today and haven’t said a single word.”

“Oh nothing,” Yoongi simply replies, eyes still trained on him while twirling his glass of wine. “Just wondering where your wife is at right now, since everyone else is here. Is he still not feeling well from last night?”

For a very very brief moment, Yoongi could see panic glinting in his eyes before answering, “o-oh yes, your Majesty, he told me that he’s still feeling unwell so I allowed him stay back in the room.”

Liar, was Yoongi’s first thought, eyes glaring even more at the long, black-haired royal.

Everyone at the table could feel the tension between their Emperor and the young royal, and still no one chose to speak up about it.

Yoongi had a reputation. He is the first ever Emperor to achieve the throne through combat rather than family bloodline—and he is also the youngest ruler to ever be placed higher than a simple king. But that weren’t the only things he was known for. He was also generally known for being intelligent and quite reserved, and cruel if absolutely necessary, and also able to hold a grudge. It may sound simple, but everybody knew that if their Emperor had something against you, your days were limited.

So that’s why nobody chose to speak up when seeing the menancing glares their Emperor were sending at the youngest and only surviving Kim. Because they knew if they intervened, they’d only anger him and get on his list, and that’s the exact opposite of what they want to do.

“Your Majesty,” his advisor suddenly whispered right beside him. “I think it would be a good idea to continue the meeting. Some of your guests has some things to say about the...improvements you’re doing to the North.”

Yoongi clenched his jaw, eyes scanning over Taehyung once more before turning his attention to the other royals. “Sure,” he then says, “which one of you want to speak first?”

Not even a second later, Park Jimin, ruler of the Park Kingdom stood up from his seat and spoke. “Your Majesty, my council and I believe that the border that you have placed around my region is completely unnecessary.”

“How so?” Yoongi asks, leaning back against his chair with an amused look on his face. He had to admit that he was impressed that the blonde man was the first to speak up. He may not be the youngest royal out of everyone, but he certainly is the one with the least experience when it came politics.

“For starters your border cuts right through my kingdom’s river, slicing our water supply in half,” he starts, voice slightly raising. “And the amount of wood you required for the construction of the wall resulted in about ninety percent of the forests in my region to be completely cut down, forcing most of my workers into unemployment.”

Yoongi continued to listen closely with his hands laced together and resting on top of his chest, rocking back and forth in his chair with an intent glint in his eyes.

“I also find it completely unfair how your border only crosses over my kingdom but no one else’s.” Jimin continued to rant, jamming his finger repeatedly angerly against the table while keeping his eye contact with him. “I think it’s not for protection like you have claimed many of times, but as a prison, to keep my people in check. You’re nothing but a—”

Yoongi slammed his hand heavily onto the table, instantly silencing the young royal and causing everyone to gulp nervously. He may at times find it amusing when someone fights back, but he will never allow anyone to talk down against him, not in his own residence.

“You think I built that wall as a prison?” Yoongi asks, chuckling when the blonde man didn’t reply. “Are you forgetting what happened before I built that wall? Spies from the South would come right into our territories and would gather information on us, murder our people in their sleep—that’s how your parents died, am I correct? Some spy that sneaked into their palace assassinated them when they were asleep? It would such a shame if the same thing happens to you—after I take down the wall, of course.”

Yoongi smirked when noticing the seeing Jimin’s jaw clenching and hands angrily balling into fists. “So don’t you ever accuse me again? Because everything I do is for the best of my people, not just yours. The wall is only bordering your land because your land is the only one that connects with the South.”

Jimin’s head hung low, hands unclenching and lips dropping into the frown.

“So before you come at me, you should make sure that you have all the information, do you understand me?” Jimin nodded and sat down.

Everybody tensed when Yoongi then stood up from his seat and slowly, intimidatingly made his way to Jimin’s chair. And when placing his hands on the younger man’s shoulders, Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle when feeling him jump slightly underneath his touch. “Normally I’d kill anyone who spoke to me that way,” leaning down, he whispered into Jimin’s ear, sending chills along his pale skin, “but I’ll let it slide for once since you’re new to this whole thing.”

“T-Thank you, your Majesty.”

With one last pat on the shaking man’s shoulder, Yoongi pulled away, and he was standing straight again, his eyes suddenly fell on your figure who stood near the entrance of the conference hall. But you weren’t alone, no, three servants that he couldn’t recognize was with you. The four of you seemed to be in a deep conversation, and with everybody focused on him, nobody noticed you.

Yoongi’s eyes slightly squinted out of suspicion when seeing you then bow your head at the three servants, a smile on your face before each of you went your separate ways.

Yoongi is definitely going to look into that.

“Now,” returning his attention back to his guests, Yoongi leaned himself against the table, keeping close to the blonde man that was still trembling. “Does anyone else have anything to say to me?”

“N-No no, your Majesty,” Jung Hoseok, another royal spoke up, gulping anxiously as he tightened his hand around his wife’s who sat beside him. “We have no complaints whatsoever, you’re doing an amazing job—the perfect ruler.”

Kiss ass, Yoongi rolled his eyes, pushing himself away from the table. He then shifted his attention towards your husband and asks, “what about you, your Highness? Anything to say?”

Taehyung shook his head. “No, your Majesty.”

“What a bunch spineless people,” Yoongi’s mind scoffed, and he couldn’t agree more.

His advisor then rose from his chair and spoke up, “okay everyone, thank you all for attending his Majesty’s annual end of conference feast this year. You may all now return to your rooms and get some rest before heading back to your own residences in the morning.”

Yoongi stayed back and bid farewell to everyone, and once everyone was gone he left the conference hall with only one thing on his mind—you. He was determined to find out what exactly were you and those three servants were discussing about. Yoongi was so rapt on you that he didn’t even hear his advisor calling out of him to come back.

He practically jogged to the chambers hall, heading straight to your room and when he got there, just as he was about barge right through the door he was then stopped by a sudden sound. Moans could be heard on the other side of the door—female moans. Yoongi’s hands were already hovering over the door handle before he opened it slightly to where there was only a crack, giving him the view of seeing your husband with same servant girl from the night before.

Yoongi watches as she claws his back, legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he place open mouth kisses along her bare chest and thrusted deep into her, causing loud, pleasurable moans to erupt from both of their mouths.

“T-Tae,” the young servant girl gasped, hands running up and down his sweaty back and fingers digging into his marked, glistening skin. “I’m close.”

“Me too, love,” he groaned back, leaning down and capturing her lips into a passionate kiss. “Together, okay...?”

Utterly shameless, Yoongi shook his head and pushed away from the door with disgust. Just as he was about to continue searching for you, he froze at the sound a voice behind him—a female voice.

“Are you looking for Lady Kim, your Majesty?”

Yoongi turned around and was greeted by one of your servants, hands laced together and hanging in front of her with a wide smile on her face. “No, I’m not,” he quickly replied, shaking his head. He expected her to just nod her head and leave, but instead she released a small chuckle and turned around, saying in a soft tone, “follow me.”

Yoongi was hesitant, eyes burning suspiciously into the servant girl’s back as she began to walk away. But he soon decided to follow her despite the constant warnings that were running through his head at the moment.

The servant’s gaze was trained on the path in front of her, not even bothering to acknowledge the glare she was receiving by platinum-haired man that was trailing right behind her.

The warnings that were consuming Yoongi’s head started to get louder as he continued to follow her deeper into his residence, parts of his home that he hasn’t even been in.

Yoongi stopped in his place when the servant led him to a room with dark, double doors. “What is this,” he asks with a cold expression, causing the young girl to chuckle and open the door without saying a word to him. He was about to question her even more but when he got to see what was behind the door, leaving him speechless.

Standing right in front him was you, along with over a dozen guards and servants that were from many different kingdoms. Some of the guards and servants were part of the Park Kingdom, some were from the Jung Kingdom, and others were from your own home.

“What’s going on here?” Yoongi asks, his eyes glancing across the many different pairs that were staring right back at him.

“They work for me,” came out of your mouth. “We are all part of movement that believes that the North needs a change in leadership—which is you. You’re the only that deserves to rule the North, not these cowards.”

Yoongi was speechless. For once in his life he didn’t know to say. For the first time he wasn’t the one that was planning in the shadows, plotting against somebody—but instead it was people who he has never even met before. “Why,” was the only thing that came out of his mouth.

“Because war is coming your Majesty,” you stepped towards him to where you stood only inches away from his face, staring up to meet his eyes. “My agents told me that the South is planning an invasion into our territory, and the way the other kingdoms are ruling their land—we won’t survive this war. You are the only one that is capable of leading us to victory.”

Yoongi turned towards your followers. “Do you all agree with him?”

“Yes, your Majesty,” one of the guards spoke up. Each and every person then stepped forward and began to speak loudly on their opinions of their leaders.

“Park Jimin is too young to be King—he doesn’t know how to rule.”

“He can’t even hold a sword properly.”

“Jung Hoseok is a spineless man!”

“Damn right he is! The moment the South comes barging intl his palace, he’ll do whatever it takes to save his own skin and not his people.”

“Kim Taehyung is shameless bastard who would rather spend his time fucking his servants than leading his own Kingdom.”

Yoongi could see you snicker at that comment.

“He spends our taxes buying whores instead of using it to improve our home.”

“None of them belong on the throne!”

“They are right, your Majesty,” you stared at him with a small smirk on your lips. “Out of everyone, you’re the only that deserves to rule us. You are the one who will lead us to glory.”

Yoongi stared down at you with such desire. He may have found you attractive before, but now he couldn’t help but find you utterly irresistible. “So this isn’t just some power trip? Doing all this just to get to the top?”

Yoongi had his suspicions already about the war. He has heard from his own agents that the South were planning on some sort of invasion, but there wasn’t any evidence that confirmed that. So sadly he hasn’t been able to do any preparations—at least, none without the other royals knowledge of it.

You shook your head. “I don’t care about power, your Majesty—only survival, and you’re the best way to achieve that.”

“I see,” Yoongi reached up and stroked his chin, “how would you all do this anyway? Kill the rulers of each Kingdom can be tricky, and what about their heirs?”

“It’s quite easy,” you answered with a small grin. “They all have their jobs,” you nodded at your followers, “once they are home and unguarded, that is when they’ll strike. And as for their heirs, well, that’s not really a problem.”

Yoongi raised a brow. “Jung Hoseok’s wife is unable to bare a child, and he also doesn’t have any younger siblings to take over. So once he passes, rulership of his Kingdom immediately goes over to you. Same goes for my husband and Park Jimin.”

“I see,” Yoongi hums, biting inside of his cheek. “So what’s my job then?”

You smirk. “The only thing you have to do is have your succession speech ready, your Majesty.”

“But I have another problem,” Yoongi added. “Many people already disagree with our war with the South. How will we manage to persuade them that this is necessary? It’ll be difficult since three of the four leaders of the North are dead.”

“Trust me, your Majesty,” you spoke with such clarity and a smile on your face. “Everything is planned out and you don’t have to worry.”

Yoongi didn’t replay, eyes briefly glancing at the people that surrounded him. You must’ve noticed his still cautious state because next thing he knew you were signaling everybody out, telling them to “get some rest and prepare for your departure in the morning.”

“Why are you doing this exactly?” Yoongi asks the moment you two were alone in the room. “Because there is no damn way you’re doing this just for survival. I mean,” he suddenly chuckles, “you are giving complete control of the North. What is your angle here? Are you going to kill me after all this is so that you become Emperor?” Yoongi was starting to get frustrated. He has never had trouble understanding someone before until he met you. And now because of you, his mind was a complete mess.

“That’s not my intention at all, your Majesty,” smiling up at him, you placed your hand on his shoulder, smirking at the feeling of him tensing underneath your fingertips. “All I want is for the North, my home—your home to finally come out of its shadow that it has been forced to hide in for centuries.”

“And you think I’m the one that can do that?”

“Yes,” you nod, fingers dancing across his chest. “I’ve read records of previous Emperors and you’re the only that deserves that title. Unlike the other ones, you are resilient, intelligent, ruthless if necessary, and you even fight alongside your men which no other Emperor has done before.”

As each compliment came out of your mouth, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel himself starting to get hard underneath his lower robes, and you running your hands seductively over his chest definitely wasn’t helping.

“How should I repay you for your kindness then,” Yoongi found himself melting against your touch, his hands finding their way into your waist. “Because someone like you definitely deserves an reward for their loyalty.” Yoongi then turns you around in one quick motion, causing you to gasp at the sudden action and feeling his strong chest pressed up against your back and lips brushing against your ear.

A tiny moan escaped from your lips when feeling his hard length suddenly rub against your ass, you yourself starting to get hard as well. “Should I buy you plenty of jewelry, or maybe a large palace just for you?” Yoongi then pushed you up against the wall, smirking at the small gasp that came from you. “Or perhaps,” another moan came out of your mouth when one of his hands slipped underneath your robes and caressed the soft flesh of your behind, “make you wife?”

Yoongi chuckled when feeling shiver against him. “Yeah, you would like that, huh? Being my wife, an Empress, ruling right beside me?”

“Y-Yes, your Majesty,” you stuttered out, tilting your head back from the sensation, giving Yoongi the opportunity to lean down and leaving wet, tender kisses along your neck and bare shoulder, leaving dark bruises that’ll be near impossible to cover up tomorrow morning.

“Good,” Yoongi left another mark on your skin, dragging his finger across your ass, teasing your clenching hole with his fingertip. “Then how about we—secure our deal, then? And when you nodded, that was all Yoongi needed before turning you around to face him and crashing his lips down forcefully onto yours. The kiss was rough, yet tender and filled with lust. With your hands around his neck, Yoongi’s slid down to your thighs and hoisted you up into his arms, deepening the kiss with his lips moving in perfect sync against yours.

The kiss was like a drug that neither of you couldn’t get enough of.

“Please, your Majesty,” you whimpered against his lips, which made Yoongi want you even more than he already did. “Can you please h-hurry?”

Yoongi smirked against your lips, pulling away. “Don’t worry, my love, just be patient.”

It was quite ironic though, because Yoongi was everything but patient when it came to you. He couldn’t wait any longer. Instead of carrying you all the way to his chamber, he laid you on the closest flat surface which happened to be a table and tore your robes completely off of you, leaving you bare and them in ruins.

Yoongi decided to take his sweet time with you, dragging his lips across your ankles, up your legs to your meaty thighs. He then began to leave open mouth kisses over your abdomen and up your chest, teasing your nipples with his tongue and grazing the wet muscle over your collarbone. Yoongi continued his assault on your body until he reached back up your lips, capturing them this time into a soft, passionate kiss which you gladly returned without a second thought, hands sliding up to his shoulders and helping him strip from his own robes, revealing his pale and toned body.

Your mouth watered at the sight of him, eyeing his define muscles, the way his abs clenched as he climbed onto the table and hovered over you, and the way his biceps bulged as he held himself above you. “Y-Your Majesty—”

“Yoongi,” he cut you off, pulling away and moving his lips to your throat. “Call me, Yoongi, my love.”

“Y-Yoongi,” you tried out, heart warming in both of your chests once hearing his name come out of your mouth. It sounded right coming from you. “Please—”

“Don’t worry, my love,” Yoongi reassured you, moving his lips back up to yours. “I’m here, I’m here. Let me show you how it feels to be loved by a real man, yeah?”

The night was then soon filled with nothing but the sound your combined moans, skin slapping and the shared whispers of sweet words between one another.

This was the start of something new.

“T-Taehyung, faster, faster please!”

The sound of the woman’s moans and the bed’s headboard banging against the connecting wall to your room made your blood boil. Your hands clenched into fists and teeth biting angrily down onto your lips.

“Be patient, my love,” you could hear your husband say through the thin wall, making the rage that flowed through your veins grow more. “Let me cherish you, beautiful...”

“Your Highness,” the sound of a man’s voice tore you out of your thoughts, “I’ve done what you’ve asked me to do.”

“Everything’s prepared and ready?”

The guard nodded his head once you turned around, “yes, your Highness. The only people remaining in the palace are your loyal followers. Everyone else has been sent home.”

“Good,” only came out of your mouth before leaving your chambers with the guard following closely behind you. You walked over next door and didn’t bother knocking before barging right in, your husband and the girl instantly jumping to cover themselves with the thin bedsheets.

“What the fuck?!” Taehyung curses loudly, staring at you with wide eyes and wrapping his arms around the girl’s waist, pulling her close. “What are you doing here? I told already you that I’m staying here tonight.”

“I know,” you replied with not even a single ounce of emotion heard in your voice.

Taehyung’s eyes then shifted towards the guard that stood beside you. “What’s going on here?”

You didn’t say anything, only smiled, and that caused fear to form in the pit of Taehyung’s gut. With just the simple nod of your head, the guard walked over to the servant girl and snatched her by her hair, tearing her away from his grasp and yanking her off the bed and onto the ground.

“Stop—” Taehyung tried to reach for her but stopped when the guard pulled out a dagger and held the sharp blade against her neck, tears shining in her eyes. He then turned towards you, eyes glistening as well, “why are you doing this?”

“Change,” was all you said before nodding your head again, giving the guard the order to slide his blade across the girl’s throat, killing her instantly and letting her limp body collapse into the ground.

“N-No no,” Taehyung didn’t hesitate this time to jump out of the bed, despite being completely nude and taking her now lifeless body into his arms, blood staining the ground and his skin, and tears spilling uncontrollably from his eyes. “She was pregnant...”

“Oh well.”

Taehyung’s head shot up from your heartless comment, his teary eyes shining with a newfound rage. Before he had the chance to say anything the guard approached him from behind and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. He immediately began clawing at his arms, trying to gasp for air that was becoming harder and harder to obtain, eyes bright red and nearly bulging out, tears slipping from them and sliding down his cheeks.

The last thing he saw before he took his last breath and eyes slowly closed was you standing in front of him with a sinister grin on your lips.

“Your Majesty.”

Yoongi glanced up from his book to see his personal advisor standing right in front of him by his library’s entrance. He hummed in reply, signaling for the young man to continue. We’ve gotten word from Lady Kim—” Yoongi glared at him, causing his advisor to pause and correct his words, “—I mean, ____’s agents that they have completed their duties.”

“They have?” Yoongi asked with a raised brow. He knew you were more than capable of doing this, but he thought something this major would take at least a week to accomplish. He didn’t expect to hear about any success a day later.

“Yes, your Majesty,” his advisor nodded. “The Jung palace is flames at this moment and there is word that Jung Hoseok himself and his wife were in their chambers when the fire happened. And as for Park Jimin, he was found murdered in his bed with a dagger in his chest. Some say it was one of his concubines that done it.”

“What about Kim Taehyung?” Yoongi found himself asking, his mind instantly thinking of you. “Was ___ successful?”

“Yes, your Majesty he was,” his advisor answered. “I was informed about Kim Taehyung’s death by ___ himself.”

Yoongi couldn’t stop the smile forming on his lips. “Good.”

“Would you like to start writing your succession speech now, your Majesty?”

“Yes,” Yoongi answered. “We’ll have the succession conference next week, and make sure every minor clan leader comes so that they know who is in charge now.”

“Yes, your Majesty,” his advisor nodded his head, and before leaving he turned back and said to him in a teasing tone, “oh, and someone is here to see you.”

Yoongi was about to ask him who it was, but he stopped himself when his eyes suddenly landed on you standing in his library’s entrance, his heart stopping in his chest at the sight of you. “H-Hey,” he stuttered out, cringing at the sound of himself. In all his years of living, nobody has ever had this type of power over him—but he wasn’t complaining either.

“Hello, your Majesty,” your reply sent tingles all over his body—and he loved it.

There was nothing but silence afterwards between you two because there wasn’t any need for words. The only thing you two needed to express the feelings you have for each other was your eyes—the passion, the lust, the want that shined in them.

This is just the beginning for you two.

would you guys like to see a drabble series of these two in the future maybe? emperor yoongi and his male wife.

TAGLIST:

@ben-c0c, @sombreboy, @theclawofsa, @joongtoons, @xavi-in-kpopland, @ephemeralkookie, @yoshiure, @illbeyournightmare, @sonderkook, @spaceisbigger, @catboygyu, @justqueerandhereforthetea, @xxminilah​

[nitpick7]

Ayo anyone wanna see my essay on why removing Anybody Have A Map made the Dear Evan Hansen movie worse? It is slightly long

Disclaimer: I did like the movie (I cried three times), but I think they made some stupid decisions with it.

Dear Evan Hansen movie + musical spoilers under the cut, plus a fair amount of DEH neg/crit

Instead of Anybody Have A Map, they just have Evan's mom say "Hey are you writing those letters to yourself? Also you should ask the kids to sign your cast" before he goes to school and sings Waving Through A Window. They ignore every other part of the song and quickly insert the only thing from the song that's absolutely needed to understand the story so Evan can go be angsty at school. We don't even meet the Murphys until they meet Evan in the principal's office to tell him about Connor.

Disclaimer part 2 electric boogaloo: I complain about Evan a lot here. It's not because I think his experiences aren't valid and it's not because I'm trying to demonize people with mental illnesses or something. I know that his own struggles influenced his bad decisions. That doesn't mean they weren't bad decisions. He still did shitty things and he wasn't justified (listen to Words Fail), but I know it was influenced by his mental health.

On with the complaining!

First of all, the movie opens with Waving Through A Window? It feels like they're putting the most popular song first as a desperate grab for your attention to convince you the movie is good and like... they really didn't need to do that. Waving Through A Window is right after Anybody Have A Map, it's not like anyone's gonna walk out of the theatre after one (really good) song.

Anybody Have A Map establishes a few things: it shows us that both of these families are struggling so that we know immediately that the Murphys' perfect facade is fake, it shows us that Connor was a dick to his family (this is very important), and obviously it tells us why Evan was writing letters to himself. It also introduces us to the two main families at the same time so we know this story isn't just about Evan.

By starting the movie with an Evan solo song instead of the group song, they frame Evan as the one main character, the only person whose perspective we need to understand. But Evan is incredibly flawed, just like everyone else, and by making us think the story is only about him, it immediately makes us (the audience) more inclined to believe that Evan is always in the right and less inclined to consider everyone else's side of the story. Evan is an incredibly unreliable narrator, he's always going to frame his actions as correct, or at least excusable, even when he's actively hurting/lying to other people.

All of the Murphys get introduced through interacting with Evan instead of interacting with each other. This makes it seem like the Murphys only exist for Evan, but the entire point of the climax is that everything doesn't exist just for Evan! Evan is not part of their family, he can't just use everyone around him for his own benefit, and all of the Murphys have lives outside of him. When they're introduced through Evan, they're introduced as existing for Evan. Anybody Have A Map introduces them separately from Evan instead of attached to him.

Without Anybody Have A Map, we never actually see Connor being mean to Zoe, so she just looks like an asshole for not being sad about her dead brother. To make up for it, she's constantly having to tell the audience why she hated him, tripping over herself to talk about all the shitty things he did to her because we don't have Anybody Have A Map to show us their interactions. Zoe ends up complaining about her brother the entire time, so when it gets to Only Us and she says that she doesn't want everything to be about her brother, it seems out of character for her.

And with the removal of Anybody Have A Map, we don't ever see Connor interact with his own family in the movie. Anybody Have A Map is the only time we get to see Connor with his family. It shows us that Connor really was an asshole to his family, it justifies Zoe hating him, and it gives his mom more dimensions by showing her struggling to keep her family together even with everyone fighting against her. Without that, the writers ended up ignoring the most basic piece of writing advice - "show, don't tell" - to fill in the missing information from the song.

In the movie, all we get of Cynthia Murphy is... her being sad about Connor and refusing to admit that he ever did anything wrong. She's just boring and annoying in the movie, but in the musical, we get that bit at the beginning that shows her as an actual person with actual motivations! By cutting Anybody Have A Map, they made her into a more one-dimensional character.

So in a bit of a conclusion: Anybody Have A Map establishes the Murphys as main characters separate from Evan and shows us Connor's relationship with his family instead of telling us about it. It sets the scene for the story before just jumping into "Evan is sad and alone uwu anxious depressed soft boy" and makes everyone a better, more three-dimensional character. Getting rid of it meant that they had to do backflips to justify everyone's decisions during the movie instead of setting everything up at the beginning.

I do think the movie could've benefitted from Disappear but then again, it could've benefitted from the whole "Connor being the visual/vocal representation of Evan's justifications for why keeping up the lie is helping people" thing in general, but they got rid of that so Disappear wouldn't have worked. (I am salty that they got rid of that thing but whatever) The Anonymous Ones worked instead and it was a good song, so sure, why not I guess? /neutral

I could also complain about how they got rid of To Break In A Glove, Disappear, and Good For You, but none of those decisions actually impacted the story too much. To Break In A Glove and Good For You both got replaced with some tell-not-show cutscenes that gave us the same information in a less interesting way (and Larry got less character development without To Break In A Glove), and Disappear got replaced with an Alana song which was honestly pretty good so i'm fine with that one.

Now for some good changes that the movie made!

The Anonymous Ones was a good song, I actually really liked that. I'm disappointed that they got rid of Disappear, but they replaced it with another song that served the same purpose while also giving Alana more screen time and character depth! And it was a genuinely good song, I really enjoyed it and it made me like Alana more!

I really liked the ending of the movie. In the musical, there are literally no negative consequences for Evan, Zoe even forgives him at the end. She fucking forgives him for lying to her entire family about their dead son and and taking advantage of them because it "brought them closer together". And the internet never finds out what he did! He does all this terrible shit, lies to the entire fucking world, and gets away scot-free. And he never learns anything real about Connor. The movie changes all of that.

Connor's song was also a great addition! Every time we saw Connor in the musical, he was either being a dick or he was a fantasy version of himself made by Evan and/or Jared. Seeing that Connor can, in fact, be a nice person, that Cynthia's belief in him wasn't misplaced, was so satisfying. He really was just a meaner version of Evan a troubled kid lashing out at the world in self-defense. He wasn't an entirely bad person.

The Murphys still decide not to tell anyone what he did, but then Evan decides (on his own!) that he needs to own up to what he did. He records a video of himself admitting to what he did, shifts all the blame to himself, and then goes out of his way to fix his mistakes in any way he can. He says that his biggest regret is not getting to know Connor while he had the chance, so he goes online to find anything he can. He reads Connor's favorite books, tries to find anyone who might be able to tell him what Connor was like, and when he receives a video of Connor playing his song in rehab, he takes the time to send the video (through the mail, on a flash drive) to the Murphys, Jared, and Alana.

Evan doesn't contact Zoe at the end, she contacts him instead. She doesn't forgive him, and he doesn't ask for forgiveness. He knows what he did was wrong and he owns up to it and tries to fix it as much as possible, knowing full well that it could ruin his life. He does the right thing for the first time in the entire fucking movie (that's hardly even an exaggeration) and it's such a good ending. It makes more sense and is more satisfying than the musical.

The Dear Evan Hansen movie was not nearly as bad as the reviews say it was. It wasn't as good as the musical, it had its own problems, but it also made some good changes that I think made the story better. It wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it and most movies aren't perfect anyway. It really could've benefitted from Anybody Have A Map, though.

[nabrizoya]

RoW Theories and Things I Want to See

with RoW literally a few weeks away, here’s some theories your way. 

this is Really long. like, really very long; mind you. 

Nikolai might become a disabled character.

It’s just the vibes. If we can take reference from the Too Clever Fox story, there’s a line that says “...and his [Koja’s] fur never quite sat right the same...”, which might hint at it (mostly bc i don’t want him to die). Also if this is indeed possible, it can be used to address ableism if it exists in this universe, especially since Nikolai is someone in the highest position of power. 

Zoya will experiment the shit out of powers. 

Idk why the synopsis says that using her powers might be a great deal, which tbf will be because she is truly the most most powerful atm; but Zoya wouldn’t mind taking the step outside of the old norms and bend the orders until they serve their purpose. That’s the entire goal rly.

But all along, she will consciously keep herself mindful to not hunger or discharge her power in a way that may cause harm. She knows the tyranny of the Darkling and the ways he employed. She knows better. 

More character depth to Zoya. 

Given the excerpts, the book does seem to explore Zoya’s infinite grief. And of course her Suli heritage, which a great part of the fandom consistently wants to shadow what with the talk “white features/ part Ravkan” bs. 

But there’s more. I hope RoW will show Zoya’s dilemma (that was alr hinted in KoS) she has with the power she holds, the responsibility she has with having that power + using it in the way that will not be detrimental to her and the country. It will be a great way to portray her self-awareness and doubt and insecurity. She is a good leader, that much is told in text but not shown. There’s character development from the end of R&R until KoS that makes her evolve from a what she was then to the capable and mature 22 year old she is in KoS. 

Of course all of their capabilities will come to light in RoW but I think Zoya and the agency to her as a character will play an integral part. More so because Zoya is to be the conduit to reversing the current Grisha orders, which runs in parallel with the fact that she needs to go back, go back to the roots of her Grisha knowledge and roots of her i.e. her unending grief and trauma. 

She will need to forgive herself while also dealing with the guilt and anger she may have caused due to her position and power. All of this while dealing with her own complex and contrasting emotions due to her own trauma.

Nikolai is held for treason. 

The word of allying with The Darkling may be out and that is enough reason for the entire country to turn against him. The secret about the monster causes issues more than enough already, and this will plunge the country into deep political turmoil and threats to security. So RoW will be more politically driven. That said...

There’s no overt war. 

By this I mean that there will not be war on the battlefield, both armies or more charging at each others’ enemies and such. Ravka cannot afford one either. The excerpts have already proved that. There will be skirmishes akin to a war scenario, but a complete battle like the last battle in R&R? Like a final battle? That’s not going to be there, I think… What I’m assuming might happen is that the Fjerda and Ravka will take a possible Cold War route, if it isn’t already the case they’re already dealing with atm. 

Ravka’s monarchy will collapse. 

It may become a democracy or any other form of public or majority vote. But the monarchy (as well a possible dictatorship, esp with the Darkling returned) will be eliminated. ...Or so I hope, since it has been alluded to in KoS. 

But that poses many problems. With no one line for the throne, let alone with a crime so dark like a blot on Nikolai’s skill (of taking the Darkling’s help), it is possible that Ravka will shun it, right alongside being torn about it because Nikolai has been, for the best of his ability, a good King. All of this in line with the Resistance rising in West Ravka. 

This ties in with the court matters, especially if I want to hold the further points I make true. The resolution to acquit Nikolai of his charges requires a testification forth a jury which will then make a decision about his motives and future. 

Zoya as the Interim Head. 

After all of this, Zoya’s point about Ravka not accepting a Grisha Queen will be true after all, because there will be no monarchy to welcome such an arrangement. 

But Ravka will need a good and trustworthy leader despite Grisha powers and Zoya is the best person to take care of that. The comment “...becoming a steady leader...” and the “Welcome home, Commander,” were there in KoS for a reason (and this is what I think it will link to). 

That being said, there’s more nuance to this than my summary. Zoya is a character of colour. That—in addition to the already existing threats, objections and possible question of capability in the position—ill play into how she will be able to discharge her responsibility. It’s not going to be convenient.

EDIT: taken from a reblog/addition to the og post:

A smoother/more structured transition

Once after the monarchy collapses and a leader must be chosen, it will not be Nikolai. Nor will it be Zoya, though she might serve as an interim head. What I assume might be possible is that someone older is chosen, someone older and loyal and with the proof of knowledge and service to the country. Possibly by majority vote or elected by a council.

Instead of the sudden change, this can be a smoother (if that can even be said about such a major political scenario change) or more structured. I also say this because a. if Nikolai is indeed charged (and later acquitted), firstly his political career will already hold a blot if the word about using the Darkling as a resource is out and secondly, he’s way too young to serve as the leader (by modern standards, sure, but like, the required age will be set while drafting the constitution? currently its 35+).

Instead, the current cast can become representatives (which Zoya would already be, (mostly the head of the) international committee that safeguards the Grisha all over the world) and the Triumvirate will be dissolved. (it should be, tbh)

And hey, b. after all of this, they can and kind of need to take a step back. Nikolai and Zoya will be able to truly explore their relationship, given how Nikolai mentions how he wouldn’t marry unless he’d have had the chance to court someone and marry someone he barely knows nor knows him. For Zoya’s part, she does know Nikolai but surely probably not the extent of openness that a healthy relationship has, and on Nikolai’s part, he admits he barely knows her beyond as a General except for just little things about her.

They could be able to realize and work on their feelings while alongside being involved with the workings of the country and the constitution.

“One day you will overstep and I will not be so forgiving.” 

Need I say more? Something that Zoya does will cost her Nikolai’s goodwill and we know Zoya knows her practicality and the extent to which she will unapologetically move if there is threat to the country and its King. She will do what was right and required. 

A major part of that line ties in with Magnus Opjer and I think with the confidence in the versatility of her powers, Zoya might as well move w/o any word to the Triumvirate to eliminate the most direct threat to the throne. This will bring splits in Nikolai and Zoya’s relationship. 

How this tension between them will be resolved without compromising either of their values, without playing into fandom stereotypes and others must be carefully handled. All of this while showing the best of their dynamicity, practicality and priority as they carefully pull out just those weak sticks of the jenga without putting the whole country into trouble. And with a war in plain sight, they’d know better than pointlessly argue and would rather see how the two of them are wrong. This ordeal will bring out just how condensed power is in the current scenario, imo. 

Importance on the way women have shaped history. 

Something that KoS has already set precedence for. Zoya being a PoC, Nina taking into account of the sufferings of women she comes across and the consistent ‘Who will remember them?’ will be elaborated on further. As for how it is done and how well it is done, that remains to be seen. 

Baghra is alive but maybe not thriving bc she’s stuck in the Ice Court. 

They entered a chamber where an old woman sat with her hands chained, flanked by guards. Her eyes were vacant. As each prisoner approached, the woman gripped his or her wrist.

A human amplifier. [...] But the Fjerdans used them for a different purpose – to make sure no Grisha breached their walls without being identified.

Kaz watched Nina approach. He could see her trembling as she held out her arm. The woman clamped her fingers around Nina’s wrist. Her eyelids stuttered briefly. Then she dropped Nina’s hand and waved her along.

Had she known and not cared? Or had the paraffin they’d used to encase Nina’s forearms worked?

- Chapter 22. Kaz; Part 4: Trick to Falling, Six of Crows.

Nina will be the one to free her and together they might wage a war from Djerholm together.

This gets even more interesting because we know the anguish and scorn that Baghra feels for her son at the same time; she understands the wrongness that he used to seek and will continue to. Zoya does take Baghra’s name at the Fold when she mourns and rages over how people forget the destruction and most importantly, forget the women. Baghra could be the symbol of the stag as the art piece depicts, or will be shown with relation to the Darkling’s powers.

As for how she will play into the story, perhaps she will be the one to help reverse and find the roots of the orders, in the sense that changes the perception of the Grisha powers for the Grisha as well as the common folk of Ravka. She is the only other person other than Juris and the Darkling to have the age of eras together, knowing Ilya Morozova, and she will be instrumental in giving Ravka an advantage over Fjerda. Either that or she will help in scrubbing the prejudices of Fjerda slowly away with whatever powers she has left. Or both. 

Alina will reappear, but will not contribute to the plot significantly.

Zoya understands that the truth she knows about the Darkling is very minimal not enough to end him for once and for all. It makes sense that she will probably consult Alina for it. So, Malina appearance, possibly at the orphanage. Alina will not directly contribute to this war, but she will play a critical role in defeating the Darkling.

Besides, Alina —and Baghra— are the only ones who know that there has only ever been two Darklings. Zoya did sense, multiple times during KoS, that the Darkling is damn old. Yuri mentions it. And while it is not outright specified, the fact that Zoya thinks that she realizes just how ancient Lizabetha is in context of meeting the Darkling is enough proof for her to seek more information about the age and the older skill of the Darkling. 

And I think it goes without saying that I want to hope that the Darkling and Alina will not meet. Pls, she’s had enough. 

Lada is the lost, other friend that Zoya refuses to bury. 

“She saw her mentor die and her worst enemy resurrected, and she refuses to bury another friend.”

Liliyana is dead, we know. But there’s no other mention of Lada except for the “wondering what happened to the pug faced girl.” Lada is possibly a part of the group of women and a Grisha returning to Ravka from Fjerda, exploited by the parem. She might die being unable to withhold the sheer torment of the parem induction, which will devastate Zoya because Lada was also the closest she’s had to a family with Liliyana. 

Either that or Lada is already dead or dies some other way, and Zoya cannot bring herself bear the grief of losing her. 

Cameos: Inej and Jesper. 

The most likely of the crows to appear in RoW are Inej and Jesper and they’ll play equally important roles in the plotline. Here’s a breakdown of why:

Inej

Inej has taken the responsibility of becoming a slave hunter, and it makes sense for Inej to make an appearance in the book, given that there’s going to be a ship taking the Grisha from Fjerda to Ravka. 

The women aboard are vulnerable and require immediate attention, which Inej will immediately zero in on. She will have enough reason to suspect both Leoni and Adrik on the ship, especially when the jurda parem is still a secret. Leoni and Adrik cannot give that information away because they don’t trust Inej (and have no reason to either). Inej won’t trust them either, not until she understands that the reason why the women are being taken to Ravka and for what reasons. 

Which gives her excellent reason to step in, try to analyze the situation and help the women accordingly.

Here’s an exciting thought though. Once after the entire misunderstanding is overcome and Inej understands (esp. if Nina is brought into the conversation and security and secrecy of the conversation is ensured), there may be discussion about how the Grisha might find a safer space in Ravka.

Inej’s appearance might also extend to playing a pivotal role in giving Zoya the confidence to seek her heritage and where she hails from, to embrace the part of her past and forgive herself and others for her mistakes. 

ALSO, 

Grisha finding a safer space in Ravka will mean that Inej can pitch Jesper’s case for him to Zoya. Being the highest authority who takes cares of the responsibilities of the Grisha, Zoya will be the best person to talk about this with. 

And so, here comes Jesper. 

Jesper

For one, I wish Jesper and Leoni interact, talk and just bond like the iconic siblings they would be. <3 But more than that, Jesper plays very integral to the plot for more reasons.

Jesper’s arc will parallel Zoya’s. Both of them are new to their powers in their own individual sense; Zoya is trying to use her new powers in a way that hasn’t been done before, thereby breaking the Grisha orders of powers and Jesper (assuming he has decided that he might want to learn and embrace his Grisha powers) is learning them afresh. 

This journey of them trying to embrace, learn and relearn and reject older norms and experiment really work in tandem.

That will lead us to a further (plot) theories. 

Ties with Novyi Zem 

As of the KoS end, Ravka has no support from anyone atm. Sure the Kerch will provide funds but Ravka has no real allies. Here’s where Novyi Zem and Jesper come in. 

We know Novyi Zem is a new country and also that it is the second safest country for the Grisha in the universe. As of KoS, their agreements are not renewed and they would be since between Kerch and Novyi Zem, Ravka was forced to pick Kerch. Yet Ravka needs their help in acquiring jurda for the antidote. 

So here’s the deal: Ravka will get their jurda but at many conditions that the Novyi Zem will impose on Ravka to not let exploitation get in the way. 

The conditions imposed could be (these are just some at the top of my head but I hope there are more to ensure the safety and security of the Zemeni, in Novyi Zem and in Ravka too) : 

Naval support from Ravka

We know of the Zemeni ships and ofc Nikolai has been hard at work trying to develop plans to use the sea to its fullest advantage. While the news of the izmars’ya isn’t public, Zemeni can place a condition for technical aid from Ravka since Ravka does have the technical knowledge it can dispatch as a condition.

A Grisha School in Novyi Zem

Think about it. Ravka, despite being the safest place for the Grisha, still isn’t entirely safe. Not all Grisha become soldiers in Ravka, they have a choice to abstain but those who are training are still recruited a honed for purpose alike preparing for war, especially the teens and preteens from the time of the Civil War. The training does take a lot of time. Ravka intends to make a home first and then service, but at the moment, while the Grisha are provided safety, it’s not assured in the best sense. Both the facts about a home and service are in precarious positions atm.

TL;DR: Ravka isn’t entirely safe for Grisha therefore the Grisha themselves too are not + Ravka is war torn. 

So what happens? 

One of the conditions as the next best country that serves as home to the Grisha, Novyi Zem may put forth the prospect of building a Little Palace like institution for the Grisha in Novyi Zem. It sounds morally wrong in the sense that the Grisha there will also be trained for war, but the war will end and soon, the Grisha will not be subject to serve for something but engage in economic activities as anybody else with the progression of time.

All of this won’t happen immediately either; learning their powers, honing it in the way that is unocnventional from what it had been pre-RoW and that transition + the building of the establishment in Novyi Zem and laying foundation for the  transnational panel or committee for Grisha that Zoya talks about will all take so much time. 

A few Grisha representatives from Novyi Zem can learn at the Little Palace and by the time the construction of the institution is done in Novyi Zem, these Grisha, along with other willing Grisha who either want to return to the country they were born in (like Leoni) or are offered to teach in a different country can do so too. 

There will be stricter terms so as to not ensure exploitation and possible colonization in these nations. 

Zoya mentions in one of her chapters that eventually there will be a need for the a  transnational panel or committee for Grisha. Jesper can Zoya can make it possible, adding in other countries to the panel slowly as the war recedes. 

Kaz and Wylan? 

Least likely to make an appearance, in my opinion. I think they’ll be mentioned plenty of times or brought up once and given great importance for how they can help in the side plot. 

Shu Support: 

This is more a hope than an actually theory dfbkdhjadfh but Makhi might have to step down from the throne because Ehri will take the place; either as a Queen (no...) or she might oversee the process of strengthening Shu Han and finding a leader (if she doesn’t want to become one herself). 

Ehri is capable, more than capable despite the little we know of her from the last chapter in KoS. All I hope is for an understanding and friendship between Nikolai and Ehri (and the subsequent cancelling of the marriage duH) for this to happen. She has little interest in statecraft but with the time she might spend with Nikolai, she might change her views. Even if not then she still gets the happy ending she deserves with Mayu (which is canon at this point rly).

Emotional Development or Breakdowns

Okay but I really, really, really hope we get to see all the three protagonists lose their shit and deal with their trauma, seek help or trying to stop isolating themselves or anything else they do to cope? Nina, Zoya and Nikolai, all of them cry, all of them get to completely lose it, let themselves be human and healthily cope and learn to rely on the people they trust the most. Like the sheer power and potential to show the myriad of ways to deal with grief, sadness, stress and more and make use of the trio’s backgrounds to show healthy and diverse ways of helping themselves, by letting themselves and others help them is just *combusts* Incredible! 

That being said, can I also ask for moments of fear and desolation from the side characters too? Impending war isn’t small business, it will take its toll on people, and all these reactions just cement their fears and what they value the most so. pls. Humanizing them rly. 

The Saving Each Other 

As much as I mostly kinda hate this trope, there are traces in the KoS that Zoya might be the one to end Nikolai’s affliction. On the other hand, there is talk of Nikolai helping Zoya control her powers which seems counterintuitive when you consider that Zoya knows that there is a line that she must never cross and that she is very, very careful about it and will continue to be. 

They can instead be the ones who motivate each other in times of distress as they always do (as shown with how Nikolai tries to gain control over his monster during the burning thorn ritual in KoS, allowing himself the vulnerability but also knowing that giving up will be unforgivable to both himself and Zoya as well) but I seriously do not wish for each other to be the ones directly ending one another's misery. Or perhaps this is just a fear imo that Leigh wouldn’t even take the route of (in which case, thank fuck).

Stab Stab Stab 

Zoya gets the chance to kill the Darkling with the rest of her friends. After all, Darkling does call them all his old friends. Just Julius Caeser him all the way and put a bow tie on the book. *chef’s kiss* Everybody deserves a second chance... at ending a tyrant when it fails the first time. 

+

So far, this is it. Rule of Wolves is in less than a few weeks and im- asdfghjkl. not Ready. i’m more Worried than Ready.

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

The Warden's Notes [10110]

TW: Mentions of Murder, Unsettling Themes, Terminal Illness, Descriptions of Insanity

Notes: Going more into detail with these guys...

Recommended to read this after [Chapter 3]

Word Count: 2.9K

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Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

[10110] - Liu Yangyang

Timeline: K-09

Crime: Murder of the 2nd Degree, Opened a Written Letter containing both a letter and a flyer for the treatment of an otherwise terminal illness from a future correspondent

Sentence Duration: 15 March 2721 - Lifetime

Cell: Concrete Room (02 - 10110)

Special Containment Condition(s):

Keep entertained, he causes less problems.

Keep far away from Inmate 1000.

If all else fails, call Inmate 1011, he always listens to him.

Monthly Observations:

(3/15/2721) Another day, another inmate. The detectives who brought him in told me to keep him locked up, and to never let him out. Strange, I know what he’s in here for, really, but this is a bit much, isn’t it? I looked over what I had of his file and, as much as I hate to say it, i sympathize with him. He seems like a decent kid… Kid, yeah, he looks around the same age as (Y/N), actually. He keeps to himself, doesn't say much. We'll have to see how our interrogation goes.

(4/2/2721) Moonsight. The kid has moonsight. I saw it in our interrogation, the beginning stages, he shouldn't have gotten it so soon though. He's going to face a slow and painful death now and I don't know how to break it to him. I didn't think he was too rowdy at first, until 1011 fucking murdered someone in the cafeteria, turns out 10110 had a field day with that one. It was like a switch flipped for him, suddenly he was instigating an entire fight and... god, it was a domino effect of bull shit. I guess it's technically not his fault, but this piece of shit almost killed an inmate himself. The weirdest part? As soon as I walked in, he stopped. He stopped and said that 1011 started it. Doesn't matter, no free hours for the next week for him. Is it the moonsight?

(5/5/2721) It has come to my attention that 10110 has an interesting hobby of stealing things. Just earlier he tried to swipe (Y/N)'s locket from my pocket, she would've gotten so upset about that. She treasures this locket like it was a part of her. When I explained that to 10110 to get it back, all he did was glare at me before returning it. I also ended up finding all three of Officer Suh's badges that he'd lost. Note to self, check 10110's cell first before ordering a new badge, this could be a serious breach of security. Moonsight is coming along at a slow pace, but as more of the blonde hairs appear, I get more anxious.

(6/7/2721) I was talking to Dr. Kim Kibum earlier, inmate 10110′s main psychiatrist, he recommended for me to provide some other form of entertainment for the inmate, supposed to distract him from developing anything too severe while he sits in his room and, hopefully, slow the effects of Moonsight. This is probably to avoid repeating what happened to 1011, so I did just that. I asked 10110 what kinds of things he's interested in, then I ended up ordering cans of spray paint and markers and left them in his cell. I was surprised to see all the things he drew, but I was more concerned about the many times he repeated my daughter’s name. Maybe it's just my old eyes, there's no way he could know that. I hope it's not just the denial, but some of his drawings are... concerning.

(7/8/2721) Last month we admitted inmate 1000 into the Sector. Both of us learned very quickly that 10110 literally hates him. As soon as 10110 saw 1000 he jumped at him. Mind you, this was in the cafeteria, the kid grabbed a tray and bashed it over 1000's head twenty times. It took me and 1011 to pull him off, and even then, we had to call in Officer Lee and Officer Suh to properly restrain him. Up until this point, 10110 had been pretty mild save for the even with 1011 killing someone, but never did I expect him to lash out like that. 1000 says he's fine, maybe a little shaken, but still. Note to self, keep these two far away from each other. The moonsight is undeniable now, I've ordered hair dye for him at his request, when the moonsight episodes finally end and he relaxes again he's still the same scared kid who came in. He doesn't want anyone to know.

(8/2/2721) This kid… I know it's the moonsight, but fuck what’s up with him? I just can't believe the illness got him so quickly. He's having an episode right now, won't do much and won't cause trouble at least. I don’t understand him at all. Some days he just spouts nonstop bullshit, asking me about shit I don't even remember. Can't blame him, maybe we did know each other in his last timeline or something, but he has to understand that we're not the same. Just today, he walked up to my office during Free Hours with a huge smile on his face and asked me if I was planning anything important. I was, (Y/N)'s birthday, actually. I always seem to be busy on that day so I planned ahead for once. Then, and this freaked me out a little, he told me to get (Y/N) Mariogold flowers for her birthday. How did he even know I was planning for it? I'll have to double-check the locks in this office.

(9/6/2721) Inmate 10110 keeps talking about her… it’s scaring the hell out of me. How do these inmates know about (Y/N)? I don’t let her anywhere near this damn place, I'm too scared that she's going to hear something and get curious and come in here. Her curiosity will be the death of her, I swear, Ten's having a hard enough time keeping her busy. Shit, I should revise this, 10110's telling me things about her. Her favorite color, her favorite food, favorite book, everything. And when I go back home to her and ask her about these things… it turns out he’s right. Maybe my theory that he knew us in his timeline is right, but it's interesting how these things carry over. I need to ask him how he knows us. My main concern is that one or both of us have something to do with his crime.

(10/15/2721) Inmate 10110 has been acting out so much more lately, lashing out at the other inmates and whatnot. We've long established that he hates inmate 1000, to an unhealthy degree actually, I was watching them through the cameras and the first thing I saw was 10110 hurling a syringe towards 1000. Note to self, remind nurses to keep sharp objects locked. I removed inmate 10110′s free hours for the month. I can’t risk any of the other inmates possibly getting killed by him, it’s not safe for them or for myself. Ever since 1000 got admitted here, 10110 has gotten more and more dangerous. It's like he has no care in the world. Not to mention the kid can be fucking unhinged sometimes, I think he made Officer Lee cry, for god's sake. Really knows where to hit it where it hurts.

(11/5/2721) I had to break up a fight between inmate 10110 and inmate 1000 again. I just don’t understand why they hate each other, when I talk to 10110 he’s always so cryptic about it, mumbling something along the lines of ‘he hurt her’ but what the blazes is that supposed to mean? 1000 has no clue either, I questioned him about it. This kid might be the death of me. He keeps finding different ways into the office, this is the one place I'm supposed to be safe from these fuckers, and this kid keeps finding a way in. No matter how often I change the locks, he finds a way in. It's only a matter of time before he finds a way out. 10110's much smarter than he lets on, apparently.

(12/8/2721) Inmate 1000 almost killed 10110. I was monitoring in my office when 10110 broke a glass bottle next to 1000 (Note to self, change supplier, glass bottles are too dangerous, metal bottles are the only other alternative that will last long enough and in this pressure). I don’t even know how he got the bottle, it should have been locked in the mess hall. But, interestingly enough, was the fact that 1000 reacted this way at all. Up until now, he'd been defensive (understandably so) around 10110, but this was the first time I saw him react this way and, of course, 10110 responded in kind. At this rate, it's like 10110 is purposefully looking for a reason to kill 1000.

(1/1/2722) This month was strange for Inmate 10110. I’ve seen his depressive episodes before, but they’ve never lasted this long. He's been like this for two weeks now, and I hate to admit it, but it's really freaking me out that he's not bouncing off the walls. I even saw 1000 come to try to provoke him, but 10110 just stared at him and went back to drawing circles on the wall. Every time I tried to talk to him, he wouldn't respond. Until just yesterday. He broke into the office (of course), and he just waited for me to come in. Once I did, he just asked if (Y/N) was doing alright. When I asked why he would ask that, he looked up at me and said 'you know she's worried about you, that's what she does, she worries. She worries, and she worries, and once she worries too much she acts. She acts, and then that's how she dies.' I still have chills thinking about it, and that was weeks ago. (Y/N) is fine. She'll be fine. She has Ten to keep her out of trouble, at the very least.

(2/27/2722) Man, fuck Yangyang. My first day in this hell hole couldn't have been any worse. It's already hard enough that I have to sit in this office that's just surrounded by things reminding me of him, I can't even get the time to grieve with this little shit here. The first thing he did to me was steal all of my damn keys and throw them around Sector V. If Kun didn’t yell at him to give them all back to me I’d still be searching for them. So this is the problem inmate I was warned about by Johnny, god, this kid’s going to make me hate my job, I already know it.

(3/4/2722) I was reading the last Warden’s Notes and going through the tapes from the interrogations too, but I still can’t understand what’s going on in Yangyang’s head, it’s like he has his own world in there. I get he has Moonsight, poor guy, but I never knew it to do this. Maybe it's an effect of having it for so long. He keeps telling me that he has this big plan for when he gets out, but I don’t know. He’s not all there, I think, not anymore at least. Maybe Dejun hit him in the head too hard while trying to not get killed, but Yangyang can be a mischievous shit sometimes, he likes to try to get into places he doesn't belong and he likes to rile people up until they lose their patience then he gets hurt and makes more work for everyone, geez.

(4/2/2722) I can see why Hyunjun just straight up gave up on figuring out what’s between Dejun and Yangyang. These two are just never going to see eye to eye, and Yangyang keeps droning on about shit that Dejun has apparently done, but when I bring it up to him he has no clue. It's all one-sided. Yangyang wants Dejun dead and Dejun wants to not die. It's not like Yangyang doesn't get along with other inmates, he just happens to hate Dejun with every fiber of his being.

(5/4/2722) I was doing my regular inspections of the cells when I found something… eerie, I think the word is. Underneath Yangyang’s stash of paint supplies I found (Y/N)’s locket, the silver one I got her for her sixteenth birthday, actually. I remembered her telling me that she gave it to her dad to have it cleaned. Why’s it in here? Actually, why does Yangyang have it? No, wait, I swear I saw (Y/N) wearing it today? Maybe this was a spare that Hyunjun got in case he lost it while he was in here. Either way, Yangyang insisted that it was his and literally wouldn't stop throwing things at me until I put it back. I'll just see if (Y/N) is wearing it tomorrow to confirm.

(6/10/2722) Hyunjun mentioned it in previous posts, but Yangyang's weirdly good at getting through locked doors. Every time we try to change the locks, he figures out the mechanism and breaks it open anyway. The only one he hasn't broken through is the one to his cell, thank god.

(7/2/2722) I was going through his cell again, the locket thing bothered me so much. I was right in that (Y/N) was wearing hers, so what was this one? Yangyang still insists that it's his and that I "keep my grubby little hands off of it" but still, it's kind of freaking me out. Not to mention, maybe I was just imagining it, but I swear I saw (Y/N)'s name in that cell, all over the place, actually. Nah, no way, I'm imagining it, I am. I've been working so much overtime maybe it's just me missing my best friend.

(8/5/2722) Yangyang's having what me and the others have titled a "low month." The cells opened up for free hours and he stayed put. He gets like this sometimes, and apparently always on January and August. He's just inconsolable around these times. He won't talk to us, he won't say anything, and he won't even make a sound. Even Dejun can't bother him. Yangyang just stares at him and shakes his head. Maybe we're going crazy, but it sounded like Yangyang even apologized to him. If he did, no one heard it clear enough.

(9/2/2722) And he's back to his trigger-happy self. Breaking shit left and right. First a medicine cabinet, then Dejun's arm, and next a spray paint can. All in one day, I'm actually impressed. It's like the entirety of last month just didn't happen for him. I asked him about it and he just avoided the question, I'm pretty sure it's got something to do with his last timeline then, or something.

(10/10/2722) How do I start this? Yangyang just doesn't give a shit about the fact that he's here. If anything, it's like he prefers it here or something. Despite clearly having the abilities to probably break out, he choses not to. He just likes to rub it into my face and everyone else that he probably could if he wanted to. I'll install more steps to the process, just in case. Looks like Hyunjun put in the appeal a while ago, I'll follow up with it too then.

(11/5/2722) I know Hyunjun wrote about it in previous entries, but I never really heard Yangyang talk about (Y/N) until now. He says that sometimes he can hear her voice, it talks to him, it, and I kid you not he said this, it "comforts" him. Yeah, he's officially lost it. I'm just trying to remember if there was a point where (Y/N) could've been close enough for him to know her. I asked if he knew her in his last timeline, and he said yes. That explains a lot of things, actually. It doesn't look like he knows about my (Y/N). Let's keep it that way.

(12/7/2722) Yangyang ranted to me about Dejun again, but what's new? It's just weird that he did it for a month straight. Every day something new and every day some other thing to nitpick him on. Recently, the first thing Yangyang has been asking when he comes (breaks) into the office is "Hi, Ten! Which one am I talking to today? Good cop or bad cop?" I understand what he means, especially when we do interrogations, I have to be more stern, versus when we're out of that room and can be more casual.

(1/3/2723) Yangyang's still ranting on Dejun, he's relentless. But, the fact that Kun's been telling me to keep an eye on Dejun too, maybe they're both on to something. I wonder if they're working together, but nothing seems to have changed on Dejun's part. I wonder what the hell Yangyang's on sometimes.

(2/9/2723) This shit is more fucked than I could imagine… I think I’m losing my mind and it’s not just because of Yangyang, what the hell is going on in here?! And if what Yangyang told me was true… Can I even trust myself?

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