#if you see blatant favoritism towards satan

[atmajolish]

Headcanons for Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, and Asmodeus with touch starved gender neutral s/o?

here you go! i hope you enjoy it at least a bit!

Mammon.

he will deny it forever, would never admit to it unless in very rare tender moments, refuse to say it out loud, but the truth is that he is kind of glad that you feel that way because it‘s the same for him.

mammon tends to hide his feelings behind harsh words, but you can notice him putting in more effort to be close to you. holding your hand as you walk together, cuddling more often and hugging you more. when you mention it he will immediately deny doing it while blushing.

even his brothers notice how much more he tries to be consciously affectionate and they will tease him about it sooner or later. he‘s fine with it, but if they start teasing you, he will get defensive only to deny it.

you mean a lot to him and he‘s your first man. he‘s happy you came to him with this and not anyone else. even if they might be better at dealing with it, are better at showing affection, but he‘s getting there.

Leviathan.

with levi, it‘s kind of obvious that he‘s touch starved too. the thing with him is that he‘s horrible embarrassed about it too though

levi can���t handle much physical touch. he heats up, needs time to cool off and get his energy back. his type of affection is more on the side of being in the same room, spending time together and listening to each other talk. he needs to get used to anything else after not having it for so long.

most of his experience with these type of things comes from anime and manga which isn‘t really..the best source, so feel free to tell him that. it would make things less awkward in the long run.

with levi it‘s a journey of healing together, getting used to touch again as you get to know each other. he‘s doing his best but he needs your guidance too, just so he doesn‘t feel to embarrassed about not really knowing what to do.

Satan.

satan wouldn‘t say he‘s touch starved, he‘s just doesn‘t need as much attention and affection as some of his brothers. that‘s what he says if anyone asks at least. the truth is he‘s probably at least a bit touch starved as well, if only because people get nervous around him. he is the avatar of wrath after all, he‘s not seen as approachable by many people.

the point is, he doesn‘t see it as a problem for himself, however when it comes to you that‘s a different matter.

as a demon, there aren‘t really many side effects to not getting physical contact with other demons, so it comes as a surprise when humans are different in that regard. he didn‘t look into it when he read it when figuring out more about humans, but apparently it‘s more important than he thought.

the thing with satan is, he tries his best with it. but much like levi most of his idea of touch and romance comes from novels he read and not actual experience so it can get pretty awkward sometimes. but he does his best to make sure that you aren‘t touch starved anymore, no matter how awkward it might be.

Asmodeus.

asmo is probably the only one on this list that isn‘t touch starved. he‘s not shy to ask for affection or give it after all.

so you will never be touch starved again. asmo doesn’t really care for personal space and the second he decides he likes you he becomes affectionate. simple touches are a constant for him, holding hands, surprise hugs, back hugs. all of that and more are to expect with him.

he is surprisingly aware of how touch starved you are. he makes sure you’re comfortable every step of the way, wanting to show you that you don’t have to miss out on touch anymore, that he is there for you.

if you ever tell him it’s too much he will reign himself in a little. he doesn’t like making you uncomfortable so make sure to tell him if he goes overboard. he‘s hyper aware of his partner‘s reactions when it comes to these types of things and also the one with the most experience.

[prof-ramses]

Here are some (mostly Mammon centric) thoughts I came up with when I probably should have been doing work for class:

Working off of some of my previous ideas, I really like the idea of Mammon and Bee previously having some sort acrobatic act together in the same vein as my idea Ozzie and Mam were once a comedy duo.

I like to interpret that a lot of Mam’s business ventures, while primarily rooted in greed, have a sense of sentimentality to them. Loo Loo Land for example is a blatant cash grab and pet project of Mam, but it’s also his (kinda weird & messed up) way of showing his respect for Lucifer (not to mention it was a place he and his niece made a lot of fun memories). Building off of this, his idea for making the Robo Fizz’s fully functional pleasure toys is him taking the advice from Ozzie that “sex sells” and running with it (Ozzie probably kicked himself when he realized this). I also like to think he has other business ventures that homage the other Sins, like a fast food chain that has a menu containing a lot of food Bee is/was fond of.

Also building off of the previous bullet, if Mammon ever finds out what really caused Loo Loo Land to burn down, he would personally March up to Pride and deal with I.M.P. Not to mention “taking care of” Blitzo would also be a way to indirectly get back at Fizz.

I can’t help but feel part of Octavia’s apprehension towards Mammon when he starts dating Stella stems from him being the creator of the Fizzarolli robots and maybe some level of coulrophobia given Mammon is basically the premier clown of Hell. I think it would be neat if he actually managed to help get over some of her fear as they start getting closer as father and stepdaughter, perhaps even through their shared distaste for the robotic clowns, even if it is for different reasons.

For the life of me, I cannot get the idea of the male Sins at one point or another growing facial hair. Like, just the mental image of Luci with a full beard and Mam with a Gomez Addams style mustache haunts me. Granted, I also feel like they probably look back on this period and laugh about given how it just doesn’t mesh with their aesthetics.

I know I’ve commented on what I think Mammon looks like under his hat, but the reoccurring joke of him never being bare headed gives me life. Him never being seen without his trademark jester’s cap is hysterical to me. Morning, noon, and night; rain, sleet, or snow, he’s always wearing it. The only exception being when he bathes… then he wears a shower cap.

Just this:

The Sins (minus Luci) are standing outside of the Hazbin Hotel, planning on giving their niece a surprise visit.

Leviathan: Oh it’s going to be so nice to see Charlotte again. (To himself) I don’t get why she always has to go see her father, it’s not like it takes THAT long to visit Envy. Asmodeus: (Chuckles) You said it Levi. After all this time, I bet her face is gonna light up the second she sees her favorite uncle. Satan: Mammon? Asmodeus: Wha-NO! ME! (The others look amongst themselves before erupting into a chorus of laughter) Belphagor: *Click-Click-Click* That Does Not Sound Right. Asmodeus: Oh, Ha-ha-ha… Fuck you guys, we’ll see who’s her favorite. (Charlie walks out to greet her guests and face IMMEDIATELY lights up) (She squees and proceeds to charge at Ozzie… only to run past him and tackle/hug Mammon) Charlie: Uncle Mammon! Mammon: (Hugs her back) Charlie! Little Dingo! It’s so good to see you! How’ve you been? (Mammon proceeds to flip Ozzie off behind Charlie’s back) (Ozzie seethes as the other Sins stifle another round of laughter)

Hope you enjoy these, I’m probably going to be pretty inactive for a while.

Thanks for more goodies!

That's a pretty neat idea, also, reminds me of my idea for Levi's role in the troupe is an escapist/stuntman, since his slimy serpent body makes him very adept at it.

Aww. This actually reminds me of my own idea for a fic of Mam consulting Via while brainstorming ideas for the rebuilt Loo Loo Land to give it some more actual identity. Since that would make the parallel with the original LLL being tied to Mammon's relationship with Charlie and the new one being tied to his relationship with Octavia. I generally like the idea of Via inspiring Mammon to express his authentic self a bit more.

I think he'd also go after Wally, since I have the headcanon that Wally just snuck in and used a spare cart for his own torches, since if he actually worked there, he would have to split it with the park.

YESSS! Via's reaction to learning Stella and Mammon were dating at all must've been something else. I'm honestly surprised I don't see more people exploring coulrophobia as a character trait for Via. I'm also a sucker for Octavia-Mammon bonding ideas, they're always so cute!

I actually have a dilemma about this, on one hand, Luci looking like he has an exact wig of his hair glued to his face after neglecting himself in favor of his duck making is a great visual, but I also find the thought of Luci being naturally baby-faced really funny.

I think Mam would sleep without his hat, but he would still only take it off after getting in and locking the door so any passing house staff don't see him without it. It's not even that he's insecure, he's just that committed to the bit/brand. Very few have lived after seeing his gently electrified locks, speaking of which, I like to think that, like his webs, his hair produces a soft static tingle to the touch.

Yes, just so much yes.

[wabirudenniskenji]

it is kind of interesting to see that lucifer does have blatant favoritism towards satan in how he blames mc for satan turning people into dogs and gives other brothers harsher punishments for less than what satan does and yet STILL cannot parent for shit. like yeah he plays favorites but that doesnt mean hes good at it

also if i was one of the other brothers and i had been banished to hell after participating in a war and losing a sister only to find out my brother somehow had a child who spends a majority of his time causing destruction and when that destruction happens said brother turns to me and goes "why did you let this happen" i think id be as angry as satan is

[cerebrumrott]

Obey Me! Shall we Date?

Brothers and Newly Dateables x MC

Synopsis: Where their pact marks would be and how they would appear...

Lucifer

His mark would appear on your throat. Below the chin and Above the adams apple is where the sigil lies but the patterns and runes that circle it seem to trickle down your throat to your collar bones. Some even tracing up along the under side of your jaw.

You would know the mark appeared here because its his favorite part of you. He would often hide his face into your neck after a stressful day kissing along your jaw, and breathing in your scent.

It's also where his hand would most often lay, whether he be mindlessly tracing patterns into your skin, tipping your face up to his for a kiss, or holding you in place for him.

The mark is gorgeous and intricate. In direct light it appears to be a plain black though every so often it will catch the light just so to reveal the color beneath. A dazzling and heavenly blue.

When your pact mark appears he can barely keep his hands to himself. Most often when passing one another is RAD he will stop you just to take a moment to admire the mark before ushering you on your way smirking as he warns you not to be late.

Mammon

His mark will appear on the back of the neck where the skull meets the spine. Its a small and tight circle almost barely noticeable with it being faded into your hair line.

He is furious at first demanding to know why his mark is so small compared to the others and why its in such a hard to see place. He proceeds to pout to himself muttering about why it couldnt be somewhere obvious like your eyes or better yet in the middle of your forehead!

Once that was out of his system he began to truly appreciate the pact mark. He was the closest to your mind because he knew what you were really thinking sometimes without you even needing to say it. He often finds his hand coming to subconsciously rest on the back of your neck petting and massaging the mark as it also soothed him. Sometimes when he is thinking too hard he will start aggressively petting your head. It was funny the first time but the look your teacher gave you when Mammon accidentally started petting you in the middle of class was less so.

Whenever you wear hoodies or scarves he doesn't hesitate to walk up behind you and pull your hood down saying its disrespectful to cover up his pact mark and that you should be displaying it to the world. One time you shaved out a little triangle at the base of your hair line to fully expose the mark and with your hair tied up high. Mammon was just beaming with pride and joy following behind you like a love sick puppy just to stare at his mark.

Leviathan

When you made a pact with Levi you actually couldnt find it for weeks. You had cheeked every inch of your skin for a mark big or small but couldn't find anything.

That was until one day while hanging out with Levi you burnt the roof of your mouth so bad you thought the skin was peeling off. Levi worried used the flashlight on his phone to look in your mouth and let out of yelp of surprise at what he found. You also panicked thinking your mouth was now beyond saving from an all too hot bite of noodles.

No instead he had found where his pact mark lied. On the roof of your mouth was a relatively large and well detailed sigil and its surrounding runes. Interwoven between these runes were two serpents. The heads of each snake ending by your front canines the tails vanishing where your wisdom teeth should be.

It took you both weeks just to find the mark and even more so discussing why it would ever appear in such an odd place. It was one night during a TSL binge that it hit you. Levi hates touching but he loves talking with you. So of course his mark would have something to do with your mouth and since a mark can't be broken it couldnt go on your lips or near them.

At this Levi brings up the point of why not the tongue then? To that you counter its because he is a shut in and never sees the light of day. You had meant it as a joke but the dawning look on his face made you realize that is exactly why it was on the roof of your mouth.

When he kisses you he likes to drag his tongue over the mark the sensation sending sparks through his body.

Satan

His mark would appear on your outer thigh. This is where his hand would always fall when you both read together in the afternoons, or when you would sit at the table beside each other.

The mark itself is made up of sharp and bold lines that take up a majority of your leg reaching down to your knee and all the way up to your hip. The center of the mark is a deep forest green that fades away into a black. Similar to Lucifer's it too has a duo chrome effect where in certain lighting a vivid green can be seen glittering through the patterns and runes of the mark.

Satan will often find himself staring at you legs throughout the day envisioning the mark beneath connecting the two of you together. Many days he doesn't even attempt to hide his blatant stares as he longs to run his hands over the mark unhindered by cloth. Perhaps later when the two of you are back at home...

Asmodeus

His mark lies above your sternum and your heart. Asmodeus often jokes that it means you are hopelessly in love with him but the truth is that he is the one hopelessly in love. The many nights before you had made your pact where he would just dream of you. His love was not that of lust but of true and honest emotion the likes he had never felt before.

His mark is small, tightly packed in the space on the chest with the most minuscule and delicate details. The shapes and runes take on an appearance akin to that of a rose bush. Beautiful blossoms encased in a myriad of thorns protecting and guarding what lies beneath.

The thorns and vines interlaced with Asmodeus' pact mark when looked at from afar takes the shape of a heart matching the marks on his own skin.

Every time he sees the petals of his mark peeking out from a shirt of yours he can't help the way his heart fills and nearly weeps in happiness. While others may try to claim he is just oogling at your chest you both know its much more than that. Its much deeper than any of that.

Beelzebub

His pact mark is on your dominant hand. He had laughed at the time when it appeared saying it was because he couldn't think of anywhere else to place it but you both knew that demons don't choose where a pact forms. It appears in a place of significance to the both of them.

It took a week before you made the connections as to why it was your dominant hand that it appeared on. Everytime you took a drink or ate you would catch a glimpse of Beels large and chunky pact mark curling over the back of your hand and over your knuckles almost trickling down your fingers. You couldn't help but laugh almost choking on your food at the time as everyone at the table looked to you like you were mad.

Beel was all smiles as you told him about your discovery his cheeks flustered red as he too realized that was indeed a great reason as to why it might appear there. In all honesty he had been truly as clueless as you as to why it was your hand but now. Now it made perfect sense and he loved it so so much.

Beel loves his pact mark with you so much he will often just take your hand in his and press a soft kiss to your knuckles, or when he is feeling mischievous he will take your hand and drag a long lick up your arm before commenting on how delicious you are.

Belphegor

Belphegors mark forms on your non-dominant hand parallel to his twins. Though rather than drift down over the knuckles it instead crawls up the arm towards the elbow. Thin and curling lines make out the shapes of clouds that encircle the runes and sigil of his pact.

You both knew why his mark appeared here and it wasn't simply to mirror his twin much to Belphie's embarrassment. He always held your hand when he napped. It got to the point he couldnt sleep if you weren't holding his hand or petting his hair.

With your mark now on full display he doesn't even attempt to hide his need to hold your hand just walking up to you and taking it into his own even when not looking for a quick nap.

Long after you have gone to bed at night he will crack an eye open making sure you really are out for the night before carefully sitting up to take your hand into his and trace over the patterns there. You most likely would never notice but when his mark hit the moonlight just so. Brilliant white speckles like stars could be seen mixed among the markings.

Interlacing your fingers together Belphegor brings your knuckles to his lips falling asleep with your hand cradled to his face hoping to wake up still holding you.

Bonus:

Diavolo

His mark is the biggest out of all the demons. Shocker. The sigil and runes sit between your shoulder blades and the massive and intricate detailing the sprout outwards from that trails upwards and over yours shoulders and down your sides like a hug from behind. In the light it has a golden shimmer to it giving it a regal apperance.

If you have a pact with Barbatos it connects to his encircling your entire back and upper legs.

The mark appears where it does because that's where his hand is just drawn to rest on you. When he hugs you it presses there to draw you in closer, When guiding you around the castle he places it there when leading you through a door way and into another, even when just standing beside you his hand drifts to settle there.

When the pact mark appears it becomes his favorite place to kiss. Often walking up behind you and leaning down to press a quick kiss to the space regardless of the clothing in the way before smiling at you happily.

Barbatos

His mark appears on your lower back. The sigil and the runes themselves and small and concentrated into your lower back. Though the curling and spiraling patterns that extend outwards from it cover most of your lower back trailing up your spine. It even extends out and down the back of your thighs only stopping when it reaches the back of your knees.

The mark appears pure black to the naked eye but to those with magical capabilities it is a sparkling mixture of metallic blacks and sparkling blues.

If you have a pact with Diavolo the two pacts seem to blend together creating a dazzling shimmering affect of the gold and the blue/black.

He often takes the time just to appreciate the beauty of your pact mark. Asking in a soft voice before pushing up the back of your shirt to run a gloved hand carefully over the lines that trail along your spine and to your lower back.

When it is just the two of you he will place his hand on your lower back and rub small circles against the place where the mark lies reassuringly.

[jjkyaoi]

anyway, take some uncle c!tommy hc's and take 'em at Once

when tommy had been told about michael, he didn't believe it. he really, really didn't. at first he'd thought that tubbo was pulling some weird fucking elaborate prank on him, lying about the things he'd gotten up to whilst tommy had been gone to confuse him—which, even back then he wouldn't have been surprised if it was the truth—and he continued to not believe it, until he was presented with said zombified piglin at snowchester.

TOMMY: wait, wait, wait. so you're telling me that while i was gone - while i was fucking dead, you and ranboo got married —

TUBBO: yes.

TOMMY: divorced each other like 3 fuckin' times,

TUBBO: yes.

TOMMY: and then adopted a kid.

TUBBO: ....yes

TOMMY: 

TUBBO, holding michael out to him: welcome back to the land of the living :D

TOMMY: i need to fuckin' lie down

at first, he didn't want anything to do with michael. in his stay in snowchester, he'd basically avoided the kid like the mf'in plague. whether he'd be watching tubbo and ranboo take care/play with him from a distance, or purposely avoiding him when he'd waddled up to him, purposely avoiding holding him when he was offered, he always didn't spend any time at all w/ the kid, until. one day. ranboo and tubbo had to leave snowchester, and tommy was left on babysitting duty.

TOMMY: i don't like kids. tubbo, you know  i don't like children - don't hand me that fucking thing  i will start biting –

TUBBO, frowning, holding michael out: he's not a thing,  he's our son! and you're his uncle! TOMMY: i'm going to kill you

RANBOO: you're on babysitting duty while we're gone :]

TOMMY: ykw, your husband's the first to go 

while tubbo and ranboo had been gone, tommy had been tasked with feeding him, playing with him—which, just was just wrestling with him, which was his favorite activity, which just consisted in tommy getting his ass pummeled by this little zombified piglin toddler—taking him on walks outside snowchester when he got ansty, giving him naps, etc. the entire thing wasn't easy, because michael seemed to have a personal vendetta against him; every time he'd tried to feed him, or bathe him, or play with him, the kid would always fuck w/ him in some way. whether it be biting him when he tried to feed him, kicking him when he tried to bathe him, or anything, babysitting michael was more like torture than actually babysitting - once tommy was done w/ the whole ordeal he was convinced that the kid was a child of satan 

.TOMMY: i swear to fucking god, you fuck, eat the god damn food before i shove it down your throat myself -

MICHAEL, kicking the food directly into tommy's face and running away at high speed:

TOMMY; you mothERFUCKER—

when tubbo and ranboo came back, tommy handed michael to them, declared he never wanted to be near the kid again, and stormed off to his room.

but. michael had gotten attached to him.ever since that day of babysitting, michael had claimed tommy, basically. wherever tommy went, michael would be hot on his heels; if he was walking around snowchester, or if he was eating, or if he was sitting somewhere, or if he was talking to somebody else completely, michael would be at his side, standing, or trying to climb all over him. instead of constantly trying to attack tommy whenever he'd see him, michael instead had become impossibly clingy, & when tommy wasn't at snowchester, michael threw a fit. he couldn't spend more than a couple away from tommy's poor soul. and tommy—though he complained—found that he didn't really mind 

after a couple days.wherever tommy went, eventually, he'd carry michael with. when he went to go check on his hotel, he'd bring michael with, and eventually after the days of visiting the hotel with michael in tow became common, he deciced to make a little suit for the fucker that matched his, since he seemed to be so intrigued with the place

.SAM: ah, tommy! you're here to work on the hotel, it's good to - what're you holding

TOMMY, holding michael in his arms, who's dressed in a suit: baby boss

he'd ended up trying to teach the kid how to scam people. or, when he was  scamming people, he'd constantly use michael as a distraction when they were getting suspicious; holding the baby up to distract him with his "impossibly cute stare", or maybe even getting michael to climb all over the person's body while he fled the scene, like the kid had been doing to him months before. 

eventually, though, because of the scamming missions tommy took him on constantly, michael became a pickpocket, aka, stealing everything from his parents. it was only when tubbo lost his bandana that he came to him.

TUBBO: tommy, what have you been teaching michael.

TOMMY: who, me?  i haven't been - psh, i haven't been teaching him anything! i don't know why you'd accuse me of such a thing 

-MICHAEL, running up to tommy at full speed, tubbo's bandana in hand: :DDD

TOMMY:

TUBBO:

TOMMY: i can explain

it had always been common for michael to throw tantrums whenever he was angry, and because of his strength it had always been hard for tubbo or ranboo to get him to calm down. it was a problem they had a constant of, and sometimes it'd even take hours to get the little fucker to quiet down, but with tommy......,,, it was natural. he'd learned that all he'd had to do was pick up the little shit and hold him up in the air, and he'd immediately go quiet, limp, like a ragdoll, all signs of a tantrum lost. tubbo and ranboo have declared him as the Chosen One.

MICHAEL, throwing a tantrum: >:( 

TOMMY, immediately picking him up in the air and holding him up: quiet down little man

MICHAEL:

 tommy had gotten into the habit of calling michael multiple nicknames. the most frequent ones were; little M, big M, mikey, mr michael, little shit, pain in my ass, devil, clingy little urchin, and mr little

michael—since he'd gotten so attached to tommy—had ended up picking up his mannerisms as well. like, crossing his stubby little arms whenever he's upset, puffing out his chest, scowling, jumping around whenever he's excited, huffing when he's annoyed, stomping when he's mad, etc. watching tommy and michael in the same room is like watching a mirror replicate other's behavior

.TUBBO: i don't know who is who

TOMMY, immediately turning to tubbo's direction, crossing his arms: what're you talking about

MICHAEL, doing the same exact thing at the same exact time: >:(

RANBOO: ....im

TUBBO, trying not to laugh; nothing

tubbo and ranboo had eventually gotten jealous of the blatant favoritism michael had begun showing tommy, so they'd decided to start spending more time w/ him to earn back his favor, but every time they did michael would always run away from them, and back into tommy's arms, who looked impossibly smug because he was the favorite. it always pissed ranboo and tubbo off—though, not really, because they were secretly endeared by how close the two had gotten—and so they'd tried finding more things they had in common with michael, but it was always things tommy liked, or things tommy was good at, and they were at a Loss.

TUBBO; michael, come over here! hang out w/ me and your dad, why don't you?

MICHAEL, pausing: :/

RANBOO: yeah, c'mere michael, why don't you spend a day with us -MICHAEL, immediately running towards tommy instead:

TOMMY: >:D

RANBOO: what

TUBBO: HE'S OUR KID???

tubbo and tommy are not good influences on michael, like. at all. michael in himself is already a brat, but tommy and tubbo are constantly in the corner, cheering on his antics, while ranboo is trying desperately for his son to not end up as much of a chaotic bastard as his husband and uncle are.

RANBOO: i swear to god.  who gave michael a wooden sword

TOMMY, decked out in armor: wasn't me

TUBBO, hiding another sword behind his back: wasn't me either

MICHAEL, hitting ranboo repeatedly in the leg: >:D RANBOO: i hate this fucking family

[satananon]

I figured that since @ibelongtowrath is always sharing so much, that I would try my hand at appeasing you all.  So I hope that you all enjoy.  

    Satan flipped the pages of his book and let out a resounding sigh.  He looked over to the bed beside him where Rebecca sat, engrossed in a makeup tutorial on her DDD.  He couldn’t help but smile as he appreciated the look of concentration on her face. 

    Reluctantly, he pulled his attention from her face and shut his book, reaching over to lay it on his bedside table.  He sat up, turning to face her and cleared his throat.  

     “Kitten, I was wondering if you would let me steal you attentions for a bit?” 

    Rebecca looked up from her phone and smiled, “Oh, Daddy you know that you can steal my attention whenever you want.”  She sat her DDD aside and looked at him expectantly.  “What’s up?”  

  “I was hoping I could tell you about this dream I had last night.  I keep replaying it in my mind and I thought that you might find it amusing,” he responded, waving a hand loftily.    “Ooohh was it a sexy dream?” she inquired, her voice bearing just a hint of a sultry tone.  

   “ No, you insatiable thing,” he leaned over and kissed her nose, “it was not a sexy dream.  Now if you are prepared to listen, I will regale you with my tale.”  

    Rebecca nodded and settled into a cross-legged position, elbows propped on her knees, and her chin resting on her hands. “Okay, I’m ready, lemme have it.”

Shaking his head in amusement, he closed his eyes, thinking back to the dream…..

“So there I was, at my desk, working through a stack of manuscripts that Solomon had provided me, my genius mind deciphering the mysteries at an amazing pace…” 

Becca snorted from her position across the bed and Satan opened his eyes shooting her a warning look. 

   “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Keep going, please.”

“Anyways….  So I was burning through the manuscripts with amazing speed, one right after the other; but with the excitement of my success, I had forgotten to be cautious.  Old manuscripts can be a bit tricky; you never know when a disgruntled sorcerer might decide to leave a curse for the next reader.  So, I reach forward grabbing the next in the stack where there is a blinding light that flashed before my eyes and pain ripped through my body.  

    When the light cleared I found myself staring up at my desk.  My first thought was that I had strumbled upon some kind of shrinking curse, that is until I saw something out of the corner of my eye.  

    What I had seen had been a large brown and black striped tail.  It was in that minute, I realized that I had been turned into a cat.”

   Rebecca let out a surprised gasp of surprise, quickly covering her mouth to stifle the laughter that quickly followed.  “So you mean to tell me that you got turned into a cat?’, she inquired her voice ripe with glee.  “You were actually literally, Cat Daddy.”  She began to roar with laughter then, her body folding in half as she buried her face in the bed.  “Oh this just keeps getting better and better.  Sorry, continue please.  I am dying to see where this goes.” 

    “So there I was, turned into a cat by a cursed manuscript.  Obviously my first reaction was to panic.  I ran as fast as I could toward the mirror, but being unaccustomed to having paws, I found that I was tripping head over tiny little cat paws, landing my flat on my face.  Once I reached the mirror, I took in my appearance.  It was obvious by the silky chocolate fur and adorable white socked feet that I could be nothing other than a purebred Birman.  

    As I admired the sheen of my coat, I felt my nerves begin to calm.  The chances of the curse being permanent were slim and I decided that it would be a missed opportunity to not take full advantage of the situation at hand.

   It was about that moment that I heard a key in the lock and the door begin to open.  I darted across the room, positioning myself to run out the door, when I noticed that it was you entering the room.”

   “Awww I was in your cat dream?”, Rebecca gushed, as she playful pushed at his shoulder.

   “Yes, Kitten, you were in my cat dream,” he answered unable to keep the smile from his face.  

  “As you pushed your way into the room, I heard you calling out to me.  I let out a loud meow in response and you looked down at me with love obviously shining in your eyes....”

   “Obviously.” 

   “Yes, obviously, Kitten. What kind of monster doesn’t look at a cat with love.”

“.... love obviously shining in your eyes as saw me sitting before you. You reached down and scratched my ears; it was quite pleasant actually, it made me purr which seemed to please you.  I could have stayed there all day, enjoying having you dote upon me, but being unsure how long I had before the curse was up, I knew I had to make quick work. 

    I moved quickly, slipping between your legs and darting out the door and down the hall.”  

“Oh I see how it is.  There was I was showering you with love and you just abandon me, Rebecca pouted, warranting an eye roll from Satan.

    “As I moved down the hallway, my literal cat-like stealth helping me evade the eyes of anyone who passed; I found myself standing in front of Mammon’s door.  It was cracked just enough for me to slide through.  I looked around the room, for research purposes obviously, and that is when I saw something that made my feline blood boil.

    Sitting on his couch, exposed to the harsh dry air of a room that has not been perfectly curated to a temperature to prevent decomposition, was my prized signed copy of The Codex Leicester, Leonardo da Vinci.  Naturally, I was livid.  There was no way that I would have lent him a book of such historical value.  He would have had to take it from my room himself; most likely after looking up it’s worth online.”  

“How much is that book worth?”, Rebecca interjected. 

“In terms of human currency…”, Satan counted on his fingers as he wordlessly mouthed his calculations, “I believe with the current exchange rates, it would be worth somewhere along the lines of $30.8 million USD.”

“You have a book work 30 million dollars?!”, she gasped, eyes wide.

“Yes, Kitten, but that is not the point right now, I am trying to tell you about my cat adventures...”

“How is a book worth 30 mil…..” 

“AS I WAS SAYING….” 

“The book as sitting there, on his couch, unprotected, probably deteriorating by the second and I was absolutely livid.  I knew that in cat form there was no way that I could get it back to my room without causing additional damage.  I knew that I would have to retrieve the book from him later but I could not just walk away without teaching him a lesson.      Luckily for me, one of his designer leather jackets was draped across the chair in the corner of the room.  I jumped nimbly into the chair, grasping the leather in my mouth, I yanked the jacket from the back of the chair, teeth leaving blatant puncture marks.  I position it into a nest, making sure to bite it in several places; he wouldn’t want to leave the marks uneven.  Then I threw myself down into the nest rubbing myself against it.    If I am being honest, I got a bit lost in the sensation.  It was very comfortable.  I was just laying there, purring and shedding all over the jacket when I heard the door push the rest of the way open.

    ‘Oy!  What the hell you think you are doing, you stupid cat!  Get off my jacket,’ he yelled at me from behind his stupid yellow sunglasses.

 A shoe whizzed through the air, missing me by inches.  That scummy brother of mine was attempting to hit a poor defenseless little cat!  I was angry again, unable to believe that even he would stoop that low.  My hackles rose and I began to hiss at him.

   ‘Don’t think ya are gonna scare me off like that!  Get out of my room!  Satan probably snuck ya in didn’t he?  He should have kept you locked up; I am gonna feed ya to Beel for messin’ up my favorite jacket,’ he was growling at this point, like even a cat would be scared of him, I mean really.

   He rushed towards me, another shoe in hand, and raised it up, preparing to smack me with it.   I hissed again and darted around him, jacket in my mouth, and headed for the door.  

  ‘Get back here ya bag of fur!  Gimme back my jacket!’

I made my way into the hall, jacket still snug between my teeth, and surveyed my options.  Mammon was close on my tail and I needed an escape plan.  It was then that Levi turned the corner and I knew what I had to do. 

    Taking off as fast as I could, I charged Levi, releasing my claws and scaling him in seconds flat. 

   Then Levi cried out, “Woooooaah, what is happening, I can’t see anything, why is there so much fur.”  The jacket had fallen over his eyes as I took my attack position on his head; hissing and clawing at Mammon as he pushed closer.    “Just hold ya self still, Levi, I am gonna take care of this furry little pest.”  He said this to Levi as he raised his shoe again to hit me. Being the intellectually superior being that I am, I saw the move coming and just as he went to hit me, I left into the air straight over his head.  As I landed gracefully on the floor, I turned to watch as Mammon hit Levi on the head with the shoe, just as the jacket I had been holding fell to the ground.   As I watched Levi’s demon form appear, I decided that this was a good moment to make my escape and leave them to their own business.  

    “Poor Levi, what did he do to deserve to be left like that, Daddy?” Becca pouted, obviously invested in the story at this point.

“It’s called collateral damage, Kitten.  Levi is a strong demon, don’t let his Otaku ways fool you; he can hold his own.”

“I continued down the hall, smug from my victory over Mammon, when I entered the common room to find Belphegor sleeping on the couch.  He and I had not had much interaction since our tiff over you and I was still feeling a bit sore over the whole situation.    I walked over to the couch and sat on the floor, looking up at him.  He was fast asleep and did not even notice that I was there.  This was the puurfect opportunity to take my revenge.”

“Stop laughing at me Rebecca, that was funny and you know it.” 

“I sat up tall, drew a deep breath into my cat lungs and let out the loudest most mourn cat yowl I possibly could.  Much to my dismay, Belpheghor did not even budge.  So I pushed my face right up against his and yowled again.    “What the actual fuck?” Belphie sat up, looking startled to find a cat staring up at him.  I just flashed him the smuggest look I could with a cat face and meowed loudly again.  He glared at me before rolling over and throwing his pillow over his head.    Not being one to be ignored, I jumped up on the pillow, making sure to push it uncomfortably into his face before I jumped up on the back of the couch and looked down at him.  He threw the pillow to the side and glared up at me, his eyes filled with irritation.  

    ‘What is your problem cat?! Better yet why the hell are you here?’ he snapped at me.  I meowed at him in return, my tail swinging behind me.  That is when he decided to try and push me off the couch.  Though I could have easily landed on my feet, I decided to strike quickly and bite him.  

   He yelled out in pain, ‘Ow, you little shit, what the actual fuck was that for?!’

   He pulled back to hit me and I made a break for it.  I was getting pretty good at the escaping thing.  I made sure to let out another loud meow as I ran, letting him know that I considered this victory was mine.  

    “You bit him!?”

     “He harassed my mate,” Satan retorted defensively.

      “I think maybe biting him was a little dramatic, Daddy,” Rebecca countered.  

“I am not dramatic.”

“I was back in the hallway, running for my life, the murder cow somewhere behind me. I looked around, trying to find my bearings, when I realized exactly where I was.  I was in the hallway leading to Lucifer’s room.  Fate was indeed smiling down on me in that moment.  I had found my way to the very place I wanted to be.

   As I reached Lucifer’s door, I found it was closed and I could not open it with my adorable little cat paws.  I had to find a way to get him to open the door before one of the three brothers I had encountered so far found me and sealed my fate.  

   I noticed then a vase, position on a pedestal across the hall from the room.  I crouched down on my haunches, and took a running start and lept, hitting the vase squarely with the weight of my body.  It fell with an astounding crash.  

   I rushed back across the hall, pressing my self against the wall as Lucifer threw his door open.  

“What is going on out here?”, he asked in his stupid peacock squawk.  That is when he noticed the broken vase and got his feathers in a ruffle.  As much as I wanted to stay and watch his irritation, I knew that I had a greater calling.  

   I slipped into Lucifer’s room just as the door fell closed.  What I saw once I entered could only be described as hideous.  I don’t know where Lucifer learned about style, but it was obvious that he had none.  Red and black.  Asmo would have had lost his lunch.    I decided there was only one option.  I had to wreck everything.  I jumped up on Lucifer’s desk and began to shove piles of paperwork onto the floor, delighting as the papers floated through the air.  It was amusing in fact, I lost myself and started chasing one of them.    Next, I had to kill the hideous curtains.  Asmo would have wanted them to die.  I ran and jumped shredding them as my claws ran down the length of them.  I tried to pull them down, as well, but they were secured pretty well, which frustrated me.  So I decided to go into Lucifer’s closets to rub against all of his clothes, covering them in cat hair and relieve myself in his favorite shoes.”

“YOU DID NOT PEE IN HIS SHOES!”

“I did so.”

“And you call me a naughty kitten!”

“So as I exited the closet, the bed seemed like the obvious next choice.  I jumped up on the bed and began to scratch at all of the pillows, extracting features as I went.  Feather pillows, our course the peacock had feather pillows.    It was when I began to shred his bedspread that I started to feel odd.  My limbs aching and head spinning a bit.  I stopped for a moment, resting my head on the bed, willing the spinning to stop.

   The sound of the door opening jarred me from my rest and I found myself looking at a wide eyed Lucifer, staring at the state of his room.  I sat up on the bed, feeling very satisfied and let out a proud meow; but when the sound left my mouth, it wasn’t quite as it had been before.    Lucifer wheeled on me, fury in his eyes, ‘Satan, what the hell are you doing naked in my bed?!  And why the fuck are you covered in feathers!?’

   I knew that in that moment, calm was the best way to mess with Lucifer’s head.  So, I stood from the bed, brushing the feathers from my hair and body, and began to walk towards the door, chin held high.  Lucifer was gaping at me as I approached him, not quite sure what was happening.   As I reached him, I stopped, looked him dead in the eyes and said, “Fuck you, Lucifer.”  Then I made my way out of the room and that is when I woke up.”

   Rebecca sat silently for a moment, absorbing the story that he had just told her.  “So you turned into a cat.”

“Yes, I thought that was clear,” he replied a bit confused.

“And your first response was to torture your brothers?”, she inquired calmly.

“No.  My first thought was to torture Lucifer; the rest just happened organically.”

    That was the point where Rebecca could no longer hold her laughter in.  Tears began to stream down her face as laughter wracked through her body.  

   “That was the funniest thing that I have ever heard!” she gasped as she tried to regain her composure. You were so petty!!  I love it.”  

  “I am glad that you are amused, Kitten, “ he said with a smug smile, “I also enjoyed it.  It had me in a good mood all day.”  

    There was a loud knock then and they both looked towards the door.  

    “Satan!”  Lucifer’s voice bellowed loud enough for his voice to be heard through the thick wood. “Where is the cat, Satan? You know the house rule.  Don’t try to deny it! Something peed in my shoes.”

  Satan and Rebecca turned towards each other, both of their eyes filled with surprise before they both erupted into peals of laughter. 

[biaswreckingfics]

Lovesickness (M)

Author: biaswreckingfics

Pairing: Kris Wu/Wu Yifan x Reader

Genre: Incubus!AU, Angst, Smut (18+)

Word Count: 8k

Summary: When you learn the man you are falling for is slowly killing you, you have to be able to let him go, or perish in his flames.

A part of the 12 Days of Lust collab, which can be found here!! Check out the other amazing authors in this OT12 EXO collab! I can promise you won’t regret it!

The relationship you had with Kris had been a wild one from the start. After the information he had just shared with you, your mind had gone over all of the times the two of you had spent together, looking for clues or hints about what was to come. Maybe some would say that you should've seen this coming from the start, but who in their right mind would think the man they were falling for was a demon. An incubus to be exact.

Sure as hell not you.

You thought back to the first time you met Kris... You had been checking your mail in your apartment building, and he had just got done hooking up with your neighbor.

A door a little further down the hallway opened up and you did a double-take when a man not much older than you walked out of it. Last you checked, a rude girl around your age lived there alone with her cat, which could only mean one thing. Your bitchy next door neighbor finally got laid. Good for her. Maybe she'd quit complaining to you about everything under the sun.

Although you did have to admit, a part of you was slightly envious. It had been close to a year since you and your ex broke up, and you hadn't been with anyone since. Feeling the pent up sexual frustration building at just the thought of sex, you sighed and shut your mailbox.

You turned and observed the tall man walking towards you. He was attractive, there was no denying that, but it wasn't in the classically handsome way. He had a certain aura around him that intrigued you. He was of Asian descent and his bleached blonde hair was striking against his skin tone, but it was his piercing brown eyes that drew you in.

He smirked as he approached you and that was when you realized you must've been staring at him for a good minute, or at least long enough for him to walk down the hallway and be standing in front of you, his smokey scent invading your senses.

"Do I have something on my face?" He smiled at you with a confused look.

"Huh? Oh... uh, no. You're... good."

He let out a soft chuckle at your answer and you genuinely debated if there was a way to crawl into your mailbox and die.

"Do you live here?" He asked, while his eyes ran over your body, checking you out.

"No. I just like to check random people's mailboxes in my free time."

His eyes lit up at your response and he glanced down at the mail in your hand.

"Y/N... That's a cute name. Perfect for a girl like you."

You glanced down at your mail and realized you were showing him your name and address like an idiot. Clearing your throat, you quickly flip it over and smile up at him.

"Thank you..."

"Kris."

"Kris... right. Well, it was nice to meet you." You told him as you attempted to walk past him.

Just before you cleared him, you felt a hand grip your wrist and spin you.

Startled, you looked up at Kris with wide eyes. This man clearly didn't understand personal space.

"Before you go, I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me sometime?"

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "Didn't you just hook up with my neighbor?"

He glanced at one of the doors behind you and shrugged. "Yeah."

You almost balked at his blatant attitude. If you had any doubts about him being a player, they were immediately wiped away.

"Yeah... no thanks." You answered, tugging on your wrist to get him to let go.

He looked down at his hand and realized he still had it wrapped around your wrist, and he quickly let it go.

"You wouldn't have to do anything you didn't want to do." He said with a shrug.

What the fuck kind of response was that?

"Sorry. I'm not really interested in random hookups. Nice to meet you though." You turned and quickly walked back to your apartment, feeling his eyes burning a hole into your back the entire way.

Just as you reached your door, you heard him shout down the hallway, "I just wanted to get to know you!"

Your eyes widened in alarm at his volume and you quickly turned to look at your neighbor's door. Was he freaking crazy?

You shake your head and look back at him, realizing he wasn't going to leave until you responded or went into your apartment, so you shout back, "Maybe in another lifetime!"

You then ran into your apartment and threw the door closed behind you. What you failed to notice was the smirk on his face as he watched you enter your apartment.

After that initial meeting, you had continuously run into Kris wherever you went. The bookstore, the grocery store, the cafe... He was everywhere and you had even convinced yourself that maybe he had been stalking you... Apparently, you weren't too far off the mark.

When you walked into your favorite bookstore, you were immediately greeted by your best friend, who just happened to be the manager of your hidden gem, before he ran off in search of something.

You loved this bookstore because it was one of the oldest in the city, and the only people who frequented it were the regulars and professors of the nearby university.

You began walking the aisles as you waited for him to come back, but when you heard your name spoken from behind, you froze.

There was only one other time when you've heard your name spoken with that voice, and for some annoying reason, you hadn't been able to forget it since. Slowly, you turned and looked up at the tall man in front of you. The scent of charred wood once again coming to your nose.

"Kris."

"Fancy seeing you here."

You furrowed your eyebrows at his tone, and not to mention that you had never seen him in here before. Was he... Did he follow you here or something?

A weird feeling washed over you as you took him in. His outfit was all black, boots, jeans, and jacket, and the smirk was still gracing his face. His eyes held the same determined glint as they did before and you almost took a step back.

Why did you have a feeling he was up to something? Something you would undoubtedly be involved in.

"...What're you doing here?"

His eyebrows quirked up at your question. "Well, I'm getting books... at the bookstore..."

"I just didn't think many people knew about this place."

You were torn between feeling stupid for asking such an obvious question and feeling cautious over the fact that he was suddenly here at one of your favorite spots, especially when you knew you had never seen him here before. Were you possibly making something out of nothing?

Before he could reply, your best friend Seojoon came up to the two of you, a giant bag full of books with him.

"Here you go, Kris. There's a couple of newer releases in there for you too."

"Thanks for the help, Joon. See you next week."

Your eyes almost bulged out of your head at the nickname. Joon?! They knew each other?!

A throat clearing caught your attention and your eyes snapped back to Kris.

"Um... see you around, Y/N."

As he awkwardly walked away from you, Seojoon turned to you at his goodbye.

"Oh cool. You guys know each other?"

"How do you know him?" You asked, bewildered.

Seojoon shrugged at your question, confused with your reaction. "He's been coming here for the past month. He's a cool dude, but he likes the dark stuff."

"Dark like what? Poe?"

"Dark like satanic rituals, spells, and underworld shit."

Your mouth parted at his response. "Wait, really?"

"Mhmm. He's read damn near every book we have on those subjects."

You stared at your best friend as you processed this information. You were known to enjoy the darker things in life, books, movies, etc., but you've never been known to read every book on those subjects in a bookstore.

"By the way, how do you two know each other?" Seojoon asked.

"Huh? Oh. I met him at the apartment. Guess he hooked up with Rae."

His eyes widened. "The crazy bitch down the hall? Huh... I guess that does seem like it'd be his type."

You stayed silent on the fact that he had asked you out too. There was no reason to give Seojoon any fuel to add to his already crazy ideas. Although, with the way your thoughts were going, you didn't know if you were any better.

A couple days after the bookstore incident, your suspicions skyrocketed when you saw Kris at the grocery store.

You only saw him for about five seconds as he walked past the aisle you were in, but you knew it was him. Much to your dismay, you had recognized the little swagger he had in his walk.

You had immediately turned around and begun walking back the way you came. What the hell was he doing here, and why was he suddenly everywhere? Did he just freaking move here or something? That had to be the answer because you had never seen him before you ran into him in the hallway of your apartment.

You quickly finished your shopping and were checking out your groceries, when you felt him get in line behind you. You couldn't describe how you knew it was him, maybe it was the smokey scent that you now associated with him, but a feeling overcame you and you quickly turned on him.

"What're you doing here?"

He looked up at you startled and you noticed even the cashier looked at you oddly. You paused and took a breath, ignoring the regret you were beginning to feel for asking.

"I'm getting food? Hi?"

Your eyes slightly widened at his demeanor. Did he really not realize it was you? Was this really somehow all a coincidence? Were you that fucking paranoid?

You thought back to your previous encounter. He had to have been at the bookstore before you if Joon was already getting his books, and with the way he was acting... It seemed like he didn't realize it was you he had gotten behind in line... Was this really all in your head?

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me... I just didn't expect to see you again."

"It's cool... I also didn't expect to keep seeing the girl who rejected me, so..."

You flinched at his response. Fuck, you were kind of an ass.

"You rejected him?"

Kris and you both look at the cashier and the shock that she had spoken out loud was evident on her face. She looked back down and started scanning your items quicker than before.

The two of you awkwardly stood in line while you waited for the cashier to finish up your order. You had prayed to about five different gods, hoping she would grow a third arm so you could run away from your embarrassment, but obviously, that never happened.

What was wrong with you? Why were you acting all weird around him and almost obsessing over him being everywhere? ...Maybe you needed to apologize for your weird behavior the next time you saw him...

Fortunately, you got that chance a week later.

You had been sitting at the cafe on the corner of your block, staring at your laptop. The current paper you were writing for your econ class was giving you every problem it could, and you were stressed.

It got to the point where you were just watching customers come and go from your little corner table, so when Kris walked in, you spotted him right away. You almost called out his name, but a thought occurred to you. Would he think you were stalking him?

You shook the stupid thought and waited for him to order, once he turned around to look for a table, you were going to get his attention, but two preppy girls immediately stepped in his path.

You watched the interaction and almost rolled your eyes out of your head at the flirting. It was all there. The hair twirling, the pushed-up breasts. It was textbook and Kris was falling right for it. You scoffed before you could help it and then leaned back in your chair, confused. Were you... jealous? No. Why would you be jealous?

Actually, why was this man stirring up so many emotions in you every time you saw him? What was it about him that caused you to act completely abnormal?

His order was called and the two girls pointed to where they'd be sitting, but once he grabbed his drink and turned around, you quickly stood up, your chair scraping the floor, causing his attention to immediately go to you.

Awkwardly, you kind of pointed down at the chair next to you and you were slightly surprised when he even considered joining you.

Slowly, he made his way over to you and the two of you sat down at your table.

"Intrigued now that someone else is showing interest in me?"

This would go to hell in a handbasket real quick if he kept up the attitude.

"The first time I met you, you had just got done hooking up with my neighbor."

He smirked. "Fair point."

"Look, I just wanted to apologize for acting... weird."

He searched your face before nodding. "Then I apologize for making you think I was stalking you."

His words caught you off guard and you looked at his teasing face before letting a smile grow on yours.

"Maybe we should start over with a clean slate?" You suggested.

When Kis agreed, the two of you did just that. Without noticing, you somehow spent the next three hours getting to know each other, and though it was confirmed that he was the biggest flirt you've ever encountered, there was actually a lot more to him than that.

You could only laugh at your previous actions now. It was obvious that the way he consumed your thoughts wasn't normal. You had never been one to obsess over a man and you had begun questioning and doubting damn near everything about Kris the second he stepped into your life.

You also should've listened to Seojoon when he would bring up the weird shit that Kris was into, but you always brushed it off. Who cared if he liked darker things? Well, apparently you should've.

When you told all of your thoughts and feelings to Seojoon over the phone, his one question was, "Okay, but did you ask him about his satanic shit?"

"...No."

The words your best friend had told you a week ago flooded into your mind, but you pushed it aside.

"So, he's into some weird shit."

Seojoon was quiet for so long that you had to check he didn't hang up before you heard him sigh.

"I'm going to walk into your apartment one day and find you naked in a pentagram, aren't I?"

"Well, I really fucking hope not."

After you and Kris had decided to start with a clean slate, the dreams began. Not cute, fluffy dreams either. No, these dreams left you so sexually frustrated you were ready to rip your hair out. You could still recall the first one so vividly.

Rough hands caressed your parted thighs and you closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation on your soft skin. You felt a hot breath over your center and shivered with anticipation. It felt like you waited forever before you felt the flat lick of his tongue on your clit. The moan you let out encouraged him to continue, and he quickly began lapping at your folds, sucking and swirling as his fingers found their way to your entrance. He slowly pushed his finger inside of you, curling it up and rubbing against your inner walls.

A second finger was added as he hummed at the moans that fell from your mouth, the vibrations driving you absolutely wild. Your hands dug into his hair as you began grinding against his face and you felt your climax rapidly building. Just before the wave of overwhelming ecstasy rolled over you, you looked down at the man whose face was in between your legs, to find his deep brown eyes watching you.

Your abdomen squeezed as you met Kris's stare and then a blinding, white light overtook your vision as you came. -----

You quickly sat up in your bed, drenched in sweat and soaked panties clinging to you. You took a deep breath as you tried to calm your racing heart, and you were quickly met with the hint of smoke left in the air.

As your mind came down from arguably one of the best orgasms you'd ever had, questions began to fill your head. Why did your room smell like Kris? Why did it feel like someone had truly eaten you out? Why did that dream feel more like reality?

You shook your thoughts from your head and tried to move on with your day, but when you encountered the same sexual dreams the next three nights, you were ready to scream.

Every single dream was Kris. Fucking you from behind, tying you up and blindfolding you, him having his way with you over and over again. Every single day you woke up feeling satisfied and spent and the hint of smoke in the air was the cherry on top of your confusion.

Now that you knew the truth, it was stupidly obvious. This was when Kris had been invading your dreams and feeding off of the energy you were putting out. You had to shake your head at the entire situation now. You had basically walked right into the incubus' trap.

The dreams lasted for about a week, before you got a taste of the real thing, in a supply closet at some gothic club. Seojoon and his friend Jaewon had dragged you there to help get your mind off of Kris, but boy were all of you surprised when he happened to show up at the same place.

"I don't know about his, Jae," Seojoon sighed wearily as the three of you sat at the bar and surveyed the scene.

"Trust. Me." Jaewon confidently said, before turning to you. "Our dear Y/N here needs someone a little rough to take care of her if her dreams have anything to say about it, and this is the perfect place to find that someone."

You groaned at Seojoon over the entire situation. "I still can't believe you told him."

"You told me?"

"Yeah, but you're you and he's..."

"Devilishly charming?" Jaewon provided for you.

"Fucking annoying was what I was going to go with."

Seojoon, who was sitting in between the two of you, grabbed his drink and downed it before saying, "Do you two always have to do this?"

Jaewon completely ignored him and continued, "You know... maybe I could help you with your problem."

"I would rather swallow nails." You scoffed at the gross thoughts that idea put in your head.

"Well, that was... kind of fucked up."

Seojoon sighed and turned on his stool to survey the crowd, while you ignored Jaewon and ordered another drink. A strong one.

Not even a minute later, Seojoon suddenly gasped and choked on his drink. Jaewon and you both quickly turned to check on him as he coughed, but he ignored your "are you okays" and turned to you with wide eyes. You searched his face trying to figure out what was wrong before he finally got out the word "Kris".

Your own eyes widened as you processed the name in your head. Kris? Kris was fucking here? You quickly turned and searched the bar looking for the man, literally of your dreams, while you heard Jaewon asking Seojoon questions.

"Kris, the dude she's been having dream sex with, Kris?"

Seojoon must've nodded or something, because then you heard Jaewon say, "Damn. I guess here really was the perfect place."

But whatever he said after that is drowned out, because you find the exact person you're looking for.

He stood off to the side in his normal all-black get up and stupid good looks watching the crowd of sweaty dancers. Your eyes tracked his every move like they couldn't help themselves. What was it about this man that caused him to occupy your thoughts so much?

You swung back around to the bar and downed your drink before immediately ordering three shots. Jaewon thought it was sweet you had ordered them a shot until you informed him all three were for you.

"Is that really necessary?" Seojoon asked.

"It's more than necessary, Joon. I haven't seen him since before those dreams started, and if I have to sit here and watch him talk to someone else... I need to be drunk."

"Why don't you just go talk to him?" Jaewon suddenly asked.

You? You had a whole list of reasons why you couldn't go and talk to him. "Because I'll probably do something stupid like let the word 'daddy' slip out or some shit."

"And who would you be calling daddy?"

Your entire being froze as the familiar voice joined in on the conversation. His words were like a caress on your body and you involuntarily shivered.

Slowly, you turned around to look at Kris, but not before catching Jaewon's smirk. The prick must've noticed Kris coming up to you and set you up.

Once you looked up at Kris, his lips parted as his eyes raked over your entire body, lingering in certain areas for too long. You quickly looked down to see what you had worn as it completely escaped your mind, and relaxed when you saw the tight, blood-red dress you loved. At least you had managed to choose one of the better outfits you owned tonight.

"You look exquisite." He told you in a low voice, while his eyes burned into you.

All words were trapped in your throat, and you couldn't have been happier when Seojoon jumped in.

"Hey, Kris. What's up?"

"Hey, Joon." Kris looked at him briefly before his eyes fell back to you.

It was like you were trapped in an illusion. Mesmerized by his aura and his eyes were leading you down a dark and dangerous path.

"Dance with me."

You heard the low command in his voice and your body immediately responded before your brain had a chance to catch up. Standing up from the stool, you heard Seojoon say something to you, but whatever he said fell on deaf ears. You took Kris's hand and sealed your fate by following him out to the dance floor.

The bodies dancing around you pushed you closer together and the music pulsated through you, giving Kris and you a shared sensual feeling.

Without hesitation, Kris put his hands on your hips, pulling you into him and a thrill went through you as his half-hard member pushed against your body.

You threw your arms around his neck as you grinded into his body. The two of you locked eyes and never looked away. The experience was so sexual that you were becoming dizzy, your mind clouding up with lust. Sweat gathered all over your bodies, making you slick, and adding just a hint more to the near unbearable sexual tension in the air.

You closed your eyes at all of the sensations you were experiencing, but when Kris's soft lips found their way to your neck and began nibbling, an overwhelming desire shot straight through you, and you knew only one thing would satisfy you.

You pulled away from Kris and met his blown out eyes with your own and the look on your face must've conveyed everything you felt because not seconds later, his lips crashed into yours.

There was no time to be sweet or slow. You needed him and you needed him now. When he thrust his tongue into your mouth, a small moan left you and you felt a low growl leave Kris.

He reached down to your thighs and you quickly jumped up onto him, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, causing his cock to push against your core deliciously.

You felt him pushing his way through the crowd, but you were too wrapped up in the taste of him to pay much attention. The way he worked his lips and tongue reminded you of the dream you had of him and you wanted nothing more than for him to taste you, but that would have to wait because you needed him inside of you now.

You were so turned on, you were clenching around nothing and the emptiness you felt pulled a whine from you.

You felt Kris push through a door and you pulled away for a second to see you were in some type of backroom, but you didn't care enough at the moment to pay much attention. The room was empty of people and that was all that mattered to you.

Kris backed you into a wall, recapturing your attention and his mouth found its way to your neck again. You moaned before saying his name, and when he pulled back, you searched his lust-driven eyes and swollen lips.

"I need you inside of me."

Instantly, you felt his hands push your dress up, exposing your lacy underwear. He pushed the scrap of fabric to the side and ran his fingers over your slit.

"Jesus christ. You're so fucking wet, baby girl."

He pulled his hand back and put it up to his mouth before sticking his fingers in and tasting your juices. His eyes rolled into the back of his head at the taste and you had never been so turned on in your life.

Without wasting any more time, he unzipped his pants and pulled himself free. Your eyes immediately went to his erection and widened at the size of him. The tip was a throbbing, deep red and precum leaked from it, making you lick your lips and yearn for a taste.

"This is going to feel so good, baby girl."

He took ahold of his cock and ran it up and down your slit a few times, before finding your entrance and slowly sliding in.

The pleasure you felt at finally having him inside of you trumped the pinch of pain and slight burning you first felt, and you needed more of it.

Once he started to move in and out of you, you almost went cross-eyed. This was even better than your dreams.

As he pounded into you, you made no attempt to hide your pants and moans. You were too focused on him filling you up, and when he found your g-spot, you knew you were going to be a goner soon. Hell, you already were. All you could do was hold on tight and enjoy the ride because Kris's pace was relentless and his grunts were sinful.

His name slipped out of your mouth once you felt your climax building. The muscles of your abdomen began flexing and an almost animalistic instinct drove you.

You felt the pads of Kris's fingers circling your clit and the sensations were too much. Everything was too much.

"Come for me, baby."

That was all it took. Your orgasm slammed into you like a tidal wave, drowning you in stars and static.

Kris pumped into you a few more times before grunting and cumming inside of you. Once he was done, he rested his head against your shoulder as the two of you tried to catch your breaths.

A soft chuckle fell from his lips and you felt yourself smile.

"Well, that was fun."

After that night, you and Kris had hooked up every day. Either he would come to your apartment, or you would find him waiting for you outside of work, and the entire situation was beyond thrilling.

At the time, a part of you wondered what the two of you were doing, but whatever it was, you didn't want it to stop. He was perfect and so good at everything. The two of you acted out nearly every fantasy you had, and he taught you so many things that you actually had to take a step back at his knowledge. He was very, very experienced, which should've been red flag number seven.

After a month of daily hooking up, you found yourself developing feelings for Kris, and they were strong, You had gone to Seojoon for advice and he tried convincing you to talk to Kris, but something in you told you that Kris was not a relationship guy. Apparently, your instincts knew more than you did.

Another reason that you didn't want to bring it up was that lately he had been agitated by everything. A commercial on TV, someone driving the speed limit in front of him, the wind outside... He was so quick to snap, and at first, none of it was directed at you, but within the past few days, he had become very short with you and you couldn't figure out why.

The sex between the two of you was still great and even more frequent, which told you that couldn't have been a part of the issue, so you finally decided to ask him about it. He muttered something about "not feeling good" and "fever", so you shrugged it off thinking he was sick, but then he started to avoid eye contact with you...

One of the times he was doing it, you tried to force him to look at you, and when he finally did, you could have sworn you saw a flash of red in his eyes, but you quickly blinked and it was gone. At first, you thought you were hallucinating or maybe you were exhausted and imagining things, especially when you also started to feel gross.

The first couple of days, you wrote the headaches off as sinuses or something, but then you started to feel nauseous every day, and you assumed Kris had gotten you sick also.

Tonight though, tonight was the night everything had come crashing down around you.

Kris and you had been hanging out at your apartment, eating take out and watching Netflix, and Kris was bitching about the characters on the show the two of you had decided on. You had already been feeling like shit and your patience level was at an all-time low, so you snapped.

"Can you stop fucking complaining about everything?!"

You watched Kris through wide eyes because you hadn't really meant to yell at him... When he turned toward you, his eyes narrowed at you and you could feel agitation and anger rolling off of him.

"Am I bothering you?"

His irritation somehow seemed to spike yours, and you said, "Yes."

A look of hurt flashed across his face, and he looked away from you to hide it. You didn't know why you had said that. Yes, he was irritating you, but you would never tell that to someone so blatantly. You would at least be a little more polite, but you couldn't help it.

If you weren't feeling like shit, you were feeling pissed off, and there was no in-between. You weren't acting like yourself, and it almost felt like you were losing control. You wondered if maybe Kris was rubbing off on your attitude and considered maybe the two of you should take a break. This relationship or whatever it was had gotten hot and heavy a little too fast.

"Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while..."

Kris slowly turned back to you and that was the first moment that you truly felt fear of him. His eyes had changed to a bright red and the whites of them faded to a black. The image was truly disturbing.

"Kris... what..."

In shock, you backed away from him on the couch until you were pushing against the arm of it. A sad look crossed his foreign features and you heard him say your name quietly.

You jumped off the couch and put at least five feet in between you, and that was when you saw the black horns pushing out of his scalp.

You gasped and quickly lengthened the distance between the two of you even more. "Kris, what the fuck?"

"Y/N." He said, standing up and moving toward you.

"No! Stay right the fuck there!"

He sighed and looked down at the ground. "This was never meant to happen..."

"What're you... what..." You were completely in denial about what you were seeing, and you couldn't remember how to put words into sentences.

"I never meant for you to find out like this..."

"Find out what? What is this? What are you?"

"I'm an incubus."

The word floated around in your head. You've heard it before and knew it was some type of sex demon, but they were myths, weren't they? They most certainly were not real, and one was not standing in the middle of your freaking living room.

You thought back to what Seojoon had told you about Kris, "he's into some dark shit... demons, underworld type shit...", and stare at the horns on his head. There was no way this was real... He had to be faking or something... But you had seen the changes happen themselves... He never put anything on his head or in his eyes as a joke.

"You don't believe me, do you?" He quietly asked.

When you failed to reply, another sigh left him and you couldn't tell if it was your imagination, but it looked like his shoulders slumped.

Then, before your eyes, his body began to change. Black scales began to replace his once tan skin. His body grew at least a foot taller and his horns lengthened until they twisted around like a ram. Blood red wings began to unfold from behind his back, expanding most of your living room, and a spiked tail was suddenly moving behind him.

You blinked multiple times, not believing the horror of what you were witnessing. There was no way that was Kris... Or you were having a nightmare because none of this was real.

"Y/N..."

Hearing your name come out of this horrifying creature was too much for you, and when the darkness crept into the sides of your vision, you welcomed it.

That was a few hours ago.

When you came to, you found yourself in your bed and you knew only one person... being... could've put you there. You quickly search your room for the terrifying thing that was in your living room and instead find Kris in his human form.

A relieving feeling washes over you at the normalcy of the sight. He was slumped under your window with his head in his hands and he looked... sad? Frustrated? You weren't sure until he stilled and suddenly looked up at you.

The two of you stared at each other in silence for what felt like hours but was probably only minutes. How were you supposed to react? There was a freaking demon in your room.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way..."

You had no idea what to say because you had no idea how you even felt. "Oh, no problem, it's okay that you're a demon", or "how do I exorcise you?".

"I don't... I don't know..."

"I know it's a lot to take in."

"Why? Why me?"

"It was never meant to be you..." He sighs. "For my existence, I need to have sex to survive. Any kind of sex and a lot of it. It fuels me like food fuels you. I can't exist without it... Your neighbor was just that. Food. When I ran into you outside of your apartment, you were just going to be my next conquest. We were never supposed to start a relationship..."

You sat up from your laying position on your bed and turned towards him, quickly being drawn into his explanation, but maintaining a good amount of distance between the two of you. "So, you were following me..? The bookstore, the cafe..."

"Yes and no. I followed you to the cafe and the grocery store, but the bookstore was a coincidence. Also, before you ask, I didn't befriend Seojoon to get to you. I actually had no idea you knew each other."

"You followed me to have sex with me?"

"Yes, but feelings were never supposed to develop. It was just supposed to be a couple of hookups and then I was supposed to move on, as harsh as that may sound."

You flinch at the truth of his words, but really, what did you expect? He was a demon. This was apparently his existence.

You tried to process the words coming out of his mouth. He used you and it fucking sucked. Even though the circumstances had changed, and you didn't know what the hell to think about him, it was still hard to hear.

"So, what were you going to do? How long were you going to let this go on? Let me fall harder for you?"

He at least had the decency to look ashamed, but was it all an act?

"I've been trying to get myself to end it, but I can't bring myself to do it... I care about you too much to let you go. That's why I lost control earlier."

You thought back to the demon that had been standing in your living room, with its black scales and red eyes, and shivered. "Was that... Was that your true form?"

He nods yes and gestures to his body while saying, "I can make myself look like any human really, but this is the form I prefer."

"...This is crazy..."

"There's more... there's a reason we can't be together..."

You were sure there were a bunch of reasons you couldn't be together, and honestly, you weren't positive you wanted to be with him after learning his real identity, but you thought the obvious reason you couldn't be together was that he was a demon. "Isn't it because you're a demon and I'm a human?"

"There's that, but that's not the main one..."

It wasn't? His words made a queasy feeling grow in your stomach. What could be worse than the fact that he wasn't human?

He looks away from you and sighs, before turning back and meeting your stare.

"We're killing each other..."

You freeze and try to understand what he's saying. "What do you mean?"

"You've been feeling sick lately, haven't you?"

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest and you nod. He closes his eyes at your response.

"I should've known it wasn't just me, but I thought maybe it wasn't affecting you when you weren't showing symptoms... How long?"

"I've been nauseous for a few days and have had headaches for about a week... I thought I was just getting whatever you got..."

He laughs, but it sounds hollow, empty. "How did I miss that?"

"What does me feeling sick have to do with anything?"

"When a human being has too many sexual interactions with an incubus, they begin deteriorating, dying. We feed on human sexual energy and it drains the human, mentally, physically, and emotionally... They'll become attached, addicted, and it's all they'll care about."

Everything was beginning to become so clear. Why you always thought about Kris. Why you were feeling so out of control. The sick feelings you were experiencing... but now, your heart felt like someone had taken an ice pick to it. "You were going to let that happen to me?"

"No. I was going to leave at the first sign of it... I could never do that to you intentionally."

You heard the unspoken distinction clearly. He would never hurt you on purpose, but it was happening accidentally anyways.

"But what about you? Why are you getting sick?" He looked away and tried to figure out how to get what he wanted to across. "We need to have a lot of sex... and I don't mean a lot of sex by human standards..."

You flush at his meaning but are still confused. The two of you had sex daily, even multiple times a day... How much more did he need?

"Typically... I have sex at least 5 times a day, every single day, and that's a slow day for me. If I don't, I become irritable and quick to anger, and I don't mean this in a way to slam you... Humans can't keep up with an incubus for long periods of time, and that's partly due to biology, but also because we're feeding on you."

You really wished he would stop using the word "feeding" in reference to having sex with you. It was becoming more and more off-putting whenever you heard it.

"You're the only one I've been sleeping with... I haven't wanted to be with anyone else... That's why I've been acting so weird... I'm basically starving myself to put it in a human sense..."

"So, because I'm the only one you've been hooking up with... you're getting sick..."

When he nodded a yes, you looked at the wall across from you and tried not to let your ego take a hit. You weren't enough for him, and there was literally no way for you to be...

There was no possible way the two of you could continue a relationship. One, you weren't even the same species, and two, if the two of you stayed together, one or both of you would die.

You were both already in the beginning stages of the sickness and it would be better for both of you if you ended it now, before things became even worse.

A tear silently slid down your cheek, and you almost wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't see Kris stop himself from moving toward you. You were feeling overwhelmed and you didn't know how to process everything.

Demons were real apparently, and the man you were falling for was one of them. He originally only got with you to feed on your sexual energy, which alone was a fucking weird thought. Oh and also, the two of you were making each other sick and could possibly die. Fantastic.

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

"It's just... a lot."

"I can only imagine..." He says with a sigh. "I never should've let it get this far, but I just care about you too much..."

After another tense moment of silence, he clears his throat.

"We have to end this tonight..."

"I know..."

"I just want you to know that I haven't felt the way I feel for you in a long time, if ever. You're special to me and I deeply care for you."

Kris's words affected you because it had been a really long time since you had felt the way you felt about him for anyone else either. A part of you wondered if it had something to do with him being an incubus, but deep down, you knew it wasn't. Your feelings for him ran further than just lust and sex.

After a moment, he unfolds himself from his sitting position and comes to stand in front of you. When you show no fear and make no moves to get away from him, he slowly brings his hands up to your face, putting one on each cheek. He searches your eyes for a moment, before slowly leaning forward and placing a kiss on your forehead.

It was tender and soft. Nothing you would expect from a demon, but everything you would expect from Kris, and you relaxed into his hold like usual.

You debated with yourself what your next move would be. A smart person would pull away and end it here, but a person like you, who cared about Kris as much as you did, was never smart when it came to emotions. Even if he wasn't... human... you had been with him too many times to care about that at this moment.

You brought your hands up to his and held them there, trying to show Kris whatever you were feeling as you met his eyes. Hopefully, he would be able to decipher it better than you could.

He slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours and you gave him an innocent kiss back, but when you felt his tongue lick at the seam of your closed lips, you quickly opened them and accepted him into your mouth.

You breathed each other in and tried to show your feelings for each other with every move and caress of your tongues.

You felt his hands leave your face before he was gently pushing you back onto your bed, and when you were fully leaned down, he climbed up on top of you.

The two of you made out like teenagers in their first relationship before he pulled away breathlessly.

"I need to be inside of you one last time," he whispers in a low voice, searching your eyes to see if you would be okay with it.

You nod your head in understanding and he quickly undresses while you pull your top off, but before you can get any farther, he pulls your hands away.

"Let me..."

He wastes no time unclasping your bra and pulling you free from it, before lowering himself between your legs. His warm fingers hooked onto the sides of your underwear and jeans and pulled them down in one torturously slow move.

You had been naked in front of Kris countless times, but there was a different sort of vulnerability there. Maybe because you knew this would be the last time...

You pulled yourself from your thoughts when you felt his breath on your most intimate area. He licked his lips before licking in between your folds and instantly finding a rhythm with his tongue that would drive you wild. He hummed and ate you out like you were his last meal, swirling, sucking, nibbling in the most perfect ways.

His fingers worked in tandem with his mouth and the high you were getting was otherworldly. As your moans began to rise in volume, he slowed down and withdrew his fingers, before giving a light kiss to your swollen lips.

He looked up at you from his position between your thighs and crawled his way up you. His hand made his way to his throbbing cock and he stroked it a few times before he guided himself to your entrance.

The delicious feel of him sliding his tip around your wet folds amped up the anticipation until you couldn't stand it, and you whined.

"Please..."

That was all it took for him to line up with your entrance and push his way inside of you until he was fully sheathed. There was no reason for him to wait until you were ready because you were so wet and needy he met no resistance.

He rocked into you at an agonizingly slow pace, before speeding up and hammering into you. He continued to switch up the pace, swirling his hips with each change.

It sent your mind into a frenzy and you wanted to be even closer to him, but there was no way he could get any closer, he was already inside of you. His hands found yours and they intertwined while the two of you locked eyes and watched each other as he pounded into you.

The moment was so intimate, filled with vulnerability and love, that it sent you over the edge together for the last time.

[rinusagitora]

The love, lead, and the undead.

Fandom: Monster Prom

Characters: Vicky Schmidt, Damien LaVey, Vera Oberlin, Oz, Zoe

Pairings: Brian/Damien/Vicky, Oz/Zoe, platonic Vicky/Vera

Words: 2.7k

Summary: Canon divergent. Chapter 1/7. WARNINGS--- smut;  Vicky has a lot on her plate between robberies and her love for Damien. Even though they're successful, problems from the past and present stand between them.

Vicky held his throat and pinned him to his plush mattress as she rode him. Brian, behind her, jabbed Damien’s prostate. Between the lack of air and sexual stimulation, Damien’s eyes were crossed and he was right on the edge of ecstasy.

---

When Damien woke up, he reached for Vicky, because his dream was amazing and her hip was flush against his and her butt was great and she smelled like an awesome, fruity perfume that he wanted to bury his nose in.

He opened his eyes to his arms around his poofy body pillow and he felt stupid and dejected and he kind of wanted to cry.

Instead, Damien made way to the bathroom, where he buried his feelings in his morning routine. He texted Scott about that afternoon's football meet. If he couldn't have Vicky, he could at least check out Brian's ass and daydream about the one party where they drank too much and made out.

Stan was in the kitchen with a mug full of disgustingly domestic hot chocolate.

"Where's Dad?" Damien asked.

"He’s showering. There's bacon and toast left over for you," Stan replied. "You look like you slept like shit."

"I was having a good dream, and then I woke up and realized it was a dream."

"I'm sorry. That's disappointing. If it helps, I dreamt Lucien helicoptered his dick at the Aquinos."

Damien broke into a grin. "That's a pretty sweet dream," he said. "I'm off now. See you later."

"Have a good day."

On campus, Damien lounged in the library and perused his hundreds of selfies with Vicky and Brian. Brian didn't smile a lot. It was still as gorgeous as Vicky's.

Beyond a bookshelf, Leonard's voice struck his ear like an icepick.

"God, this chick is an ugly, fake whore! She actually got this producer to agree to one of her hot takes on Makido the Giant. I swear. These SJWs are ruining all the good television shows."

Damien was not in the mood to listen to that neckbeard’s drivel, so he hopped over the shelf and landed in front of Leonard.

"Makido is my friend's favorite show, y'know," he snarled with a guttural, fiery edge. Damien grabbed Leonard by his neck and dragged him to the bathroom. Makido was a great excuse to beat out his anxiety.

---

Vicky loved a lot of boys. Like, a lot. Scott, Brian, Oz, Liam, Blobert, Cal. She loved them all. When they talked to her, the attention went straight to wherever made her feel like she was fucking invincible. It came to be that her infinite source of love focused on Damien as of recent, her most hot-headed classmate and friend, and for more than one week like the rest of her phases of attraction seemed to last.

Of course she gravitated towards him. He was all kinds of crazy like she was: the happy kind of crazy that felt like drums punched her chest, or that first second after she snort a ton of coke.

Damien held Leonard by the back of his head in one of the toilets. As much as Vicky loathed that obnoxious, holier-than-thou, nonsensical neckbeard, and as much as she enjoyed seeing him helplessly gurgle, Damien's heart didn't seem as invested into Leonard's torment as he usually was. No jeers, no curse words, just a lame, dejected sigh. It concerned Vicky.

"You look frustrated," Vicky, loyal captain of the generally disliked naval vessel the S.S. Obvious, remarked. "What's on your mind?"

Damien's eyes were so golden. A poet of ancient Greece would describe them as pure ore. "Nothing," he grumbled. He pulled Leonard out of the can and threw him out of the stall. "Scram, freak. You're no fun anymore.”

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"No. That was a blatant lie. I'm not sure why I did that."

Vicky reminded herself to trust her gut in the future. Things were always as they seemed when it came to Damien.

"I'm just… love is metal, man. Like, it's pretty badass to trust someone enough to be vulnerable around them.”

"Is… is philosophy making you upset?" she asked.

"No. But there's this girl I really like. Like, I like her more than anyone I have before. I feel like I'm on fire when I'm with her and the second she's out of sight I snuff out. She'll smile and I'll lose my breath. I like her more every day. This morning, and I'll kill you if you fucking laugh at this, but this morning I woke up and I was looking for her because I had a dream we were together. My chest felt like it would collapse when I realized it wasn't real."

Oh.

Vicky's chest felt like it collapsed too. He talked about that woman like Vicky was just one of the guys. Like she hadn't had Damien's back for a year, like she didn't adore all his adventures.

Yet as much as it hurt, Vicky only wanted to make Damien happy.

"Why haven't you told her yet?"

Damien's head fell into his hands. "'Cause I like this guy too, Vicky, and I want them both. It's gonna break her heart and I’ll lose both of them. This isn’t some kind of passing fancy. This isn’t me wanting a three-way. I adore both of them.”

"There are people like you," Vicky said, people like her who liked lots of boys. She’d stay with him, even if she didn’t like his other partner. “You should give it a shot.”

"I don't think I can. If I can't have them, even as friends, I’m not sure I could take it.”

Vicky held his hands. “Damien, you’re better than this,” she croaked. “You’ve never been so reserved. I hate seeing you like this. Please… tell me how I can help.”

“It’s…” Damien stared, his chest rattled. “I have to go.”

He pushed past Vicky. She collided with the locking mechanism, but she hardly felt it, because her chest hurt so much. Damien didn’t love her, he couldn’t tell her who he loved, he couldn’t even tell her why he couldn’t tell why he refused to tell her.

---

Oz wasn’t used to the weird couple walk Zoe adored. Not that he didn’t like it, because he did. Zoe fit underneath this shoulder like a puzzle piece and it was so fucking adorable, and she held his hip like it was glued there. But Oz was clumsy, and Fear wanted in on the action so he tripped over their excited bubbling. Zoe thought it was funny, at least.

“Y’know, I need to ask Damien something. Let’s sit with him.”

“Okay.”

Just before they sat down, Vicky rushed past them with a tray in hand and tears in her eyes.

“Wow, I’ve never seen Vicky act like this,” Zoe commented. “You guys are friends, right? What’s going on with her?”

Damien snapped his fork in half. “Not your fucking business, you nosy freak.”

“That’s Damien-speak for he does know and it’s probably his fault,” Oz whispered in one of Zoe’s ears.

“Dammit Oz, fuck off! If Vicky didn’t tell you, she sure as hell doesn’t want you knowing.”

“We’re her friends too, though,” Oz retorted. “You’re our friend too.”

Damien grit his teeth. “I fucked up, okay? I like this girl and I can’t tell her, and she tried to help me this morning, but I’m too big of a fucking bitch to let her know it’s her and it’s not her fault that I’m a fucking coward.”

“Oh my goood!” Zoe gasped. “You do like Vicky! I swore you were into Brian, though! What changed? Oh my god, is this a love triangle? Are you stuck between two lovers?”

“Can you fucking act semi normal for once in your motherfucking life!”

Fuck, Zoe was perceptive. “Zoe… let’s be more sensitive about this,” Oz said as Damien beat his head against the table.

“I like them both, okay? And I don’t want to choose, and I don’t want to hurt or lose any of them. I just gonna to keep this to myself.”

“Damien, did you tell Vicky you like her and Brian and you don’t want to choose? Or have you made these decisions on your own?” Oz asked. Mortals and their drama was both fascinating and obnoxious.

“... no.”

“Seriously consider it. You don’t know what she is okay with. Are you content living in safety and security? Or do you want to live vivaciously, even if your partners don’t end up being Brian and Vicky?”

“Okay,” Damien replied. “I will. Thank you.”

---

The school day wasn’t even halfway over when Vicky decided to go home. Vera's sleek, absurdly shiny limo pulled up to the sidewalk next to her.

"Get in, bitch," Vera said from the interior.

"I'm surprised you didn't poison me," Vicky said as she climbed inside.

"I’ve come to the conclusion you're more effective as my partner in crime when you're not foaming at the mouth. You look like you need a drink, though. Scotch?"

"Single malt," Vicky replied. "Fill the glass off and keep the bottle out."

"Sweet flaming baby Satan, what's up with you?"

"Damien. He likes another girl and it's not me, and he refuses to tell me who it is, and refuses more tell me why he can't tell me. Since these problems totally matter, I'd very much like to drink away the memory of today."

Vicky grimaced as Vera gave her a look of unbridled disgust. "Sorry, I'll keep it to myself."

"No. That was mostly for Damien." Vera massaged her sinuses. "You people are hopeless. Y'know, if I cared more about social graces, I wouldn't tell you this, but that girl Damien was talking about is you, Vicky. He's just too much of a pussy ass bitch to fess up to it. God knows he buries his feelings under his stupid sense of masculinity."

Vicky wanted to cry. All her work to get into his circle, all her effort to get him to realize how wonderful she was, had paid off.

But why in god’s good name was he so scared to tell her that he liked her? She didn’t care if he liked her and someone else.

Nonetheless, Vicky said, "Thanks. I don't wanna think about this right now, though."

"Why don't we rob a bank then? That always seems to put you in a good mood."

"Somehow I knew you had ulterior motives," Vicky said as she caught a ski mask and sweats Vera threw at her.

---

Seventeen hours later and about seventeen grand heavier, Vicky returned to campus with more pep in her step.

Part of her felt bad that Vera told her about something as private as Damien's feelings. Surely, there had to be a reason he hadn't told her. But she wanted to put an end to their charade so if Damien refused to tell her about his feelings for her, she would, and if he still refused to tell her, so be it. There were there fish in the sea.

If Vera's information was wrong, though, and Damien didn't return Vicky's feelings, their friendship would suffer. Collateral damage.

Vicky found Damien asleep in the shallow woods behind campus. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "Damien, you're gonna kill your back sleeping up there!" He wasn't a fucking puma, or… whatever tree-dwelling cat was more apt for the analog she needed.

Did pumas even sleep in trees?

Damien flew upright upon disruption, and less than gracefully slammed his head into a thick branch above him. He cursed, lost his balance as he braced himself, and fell to the ground. Vicky yelped and ran to check on him.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Damien. Are you okay?"

"No. Holy shit, that hurt," Damien groaned. He curled up into a ball and held his forehead. "Fuck, why do I do this shit?"

"Sh-should I get you some ice? God, that's gonna swell like a bitch."

"Ice? Fuck no!" Damien snapped. "God, just… fuck….”

"Let's go to the nurse's office." Vicky reached to help Damien to his feet. He scrambled away like she burned him.

"I'm fine!" he snapped. Vicky's eyes watered. "Just… stop, okay? Worse has happened!"

Vicky's hands fell into her lap. She was a stupid little girl. "Sorry. I'll… see you around." She picked up her backpack and ran before Damien could reach her.

She tumbled helplessly into the bathroom. She slammed the stall door behind her, dropped her bag (with a very expensive laptop inside) on the linoleum, and she didn't even cover her mouth as she bawled. Vicky gave a whole new meaning to ugly crying. When she cried, the stitched skin on her face scrunched up and she had to push it into place when she finished, she never failed to hyperventilate so her face was always puffy, and whenever she cried, her snot always dripped down her face like her mother was Niagara fucking Falls.

When she heard a knock at her stall, Vicky covered her mouth (as if that would do anything) and hoped they'd pass.

"Bitch, it's me, open up," Vera said from beyond her stall.

Vicky unlocked her stall and let Vera inside.

"Sorry, not at my best right now," Vicky said.

"What the hell is going on? You're crying in here, and Damien reached a new record for amount of people he's beat the shit out of today and it’s only lunchtime. Already get into a lover's quarrel? He’s not telling me shit."

She shook her head. "No. He was sleeping in a tree, and I woke him up, and he hit his head and fell, and he got really mad at me."

Vera's hair bristled. "What a dumbass, cunt-blowing, son of a bitch."

Vicky was pulled to her feet and dragged behind Vera. She only narrowly managed to catch her backpack. Vera ignored Vicky's protests. She wanted to be seen when she fixed her face slippage, and she had to wipe her nose on her sleeve which was fucking gross. They were ignored though, because Vera's rage was palpable. Her snake-hair incessantly hissed and bared their teeth at passersby.

In the cafeteria, Vera unkindly slammed Vicky into a seat across from Damien and Scott. Until Damien saw her, he only half-heartedly picked at his food. When his eyes met her's, though, it felt like Vicky was kicked square in the gut because he dropped his fork and looked like she kicked him instead.

"Oh no, Vicky, what's wrong?" Scott cried. "Are you sad? Will balls help? Balls help me feel better when I’m sad."

The tension of Vera's death stare made Damien sweat visibly. "It’s nothing you need to worry about, Scott. Damien knows what he did," Vera said. "We're gonna sit here until he fixes it."

"Vera, it's fine. Damien and I can work this out."

Scott gasped. If he wasn't so stupid, Vicky would've guessed Scott deliberately rubbed salt in Damien’s wounds. "Oh my God, Damien made you cry? Dude, that's not cool. She's like your best friend. You don't make your friends cry! That’s not what good friends do."

"Scott, just, shut up for a minute!" Damien barked.

"Well, what do you have to say?" Vera said.

Vicky was caught between her loyalty to Damien and her own, awful, vindictive pleasure as Vera ripped him a filthy new asshole. She bashfully sat back and stared back at Damien.

"I'm sorry about this morning. I've been on edge lately. It kind of just boiled over and I took it out on you. That wasn't right. I mean, I don't give a shit about right and wrong, but your feelings… your feelings matter to me."

"And?" Vera said.

Damien's face glowed with… embarrassment, or something along those lines. "I really like you, Vicky. Yesterday, when we were in the bathroom, I was trying to tell you that, but I couldn't get it out. That's kind of why I've been so pent up lately. I keep trying to tell you and I keep chickening out."

Vicky's heart just about popped out of her chest and tap danced for them. Instead, she lunged across the table and squeezed Damien so hard his back cracked.

Damien didn’t seem to mind. He crushed her in his own embrace as he crushed her lips against her. Scott howled with excitement and drew the attention of their classmates. There was applause from their friends. Vicky was embarrassed, but it was buried under the noise of her own giddy. Not even lasagna smeared on her sweater was enough to put a damper on her mood because the only thing that could take her out of that moment would have been wedding bells.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Little Nicky

Adam Sandler is one of the strangest celebrities I’ve ever seen. The guy can go from making some genuinely funny, heartwarming, and enjoyable comedies that you’ll ever see – The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, Hotel Transylvania – to making some of the most stupid, inane, and insulting garbage you’ll ever have the misfortune of sitting through (see: most of his modern work). But what many don’t realize is that there is a secret, third side to the Adam Sandler coin: the absolutely fucking bonkers Adam Sandler movie. As ar as I know, there’s only one film in the Sandler filmography that fits the bill for that, and that film is Little Nicky.

This movie is so utterly strange, even for an early 2000s comedy. This film has it all: lowest common denominator jokes, clever gags, tons of celebrity cameos, a pretty solid plot field with all sorts of fantastical weirdness, Adam Sandler doing an annoying voice, blatant product placement… Hell, this movie doesn’t even just have product placement, it is a film that uses the one “fuck” permitted to PG-13 films for its product placement, for God’s sake! This is one of the most bonkers of Sandler’s films, and thus, one of my personal favorites.

So let me tell you the plot so I can help you understand: Nicky is one of the three sons of Satan himself (played by Harvey Keitel) who is treated like garbage by his brothers Cassius and Adrian (Tommy Lister and Rhys Ifans, respectively). When Satan decides that none of his sons are worthy of ruling Hell, Cassius and Adrian conspire to go to Earth and turn it into a literal Hell world to sap power from their father and rule over a planet drenched in sin and chaos. Nicky is sent to capture them and cram them into a flask, and with the help of a demon pug mentor, two metalhead fanboys, an ambiguously gay roommate, and a pretty love interest, he just might have a chance.

This movie is positively bloated with talent and celebrity cameos. Reese Witherspoon and Harvey Keitel play Nicky’s parents, his brothers are both famous actors, Rodeny Dangerfield is grandpa Lucifer (and even in Hell he gets no respect), Jon Lovitz has a cameo as a peeping tom who gets sent to Hell early on, and best of all is Quentin Tarantino of all people in a reoccurring role as a blind street preacher. Then we have some amusing celebrity guest appearances like Henry “The Fonz” Winkler and, best of all, The Prince of Darkness himself Ozzy Osbourne in a plot-critical role towards the film’s end. You heard that right. An Adam Sandler film gave Ozzy a more dignified and awesome cameo than Ghostbusters: Answer the Call. Also Clint Howard is here as a nipple-rubbing crossdresser, just in case this movie’s cast wasn’t batshit enough for you.

Nicky himself is actually a pretty decent character as far as Adam Sandler protagonists go, though even I’ll admit that as easy as it is to imitate Nicky’s voice so that you can annoy your friends and family, it is a pretty annoying voice to listen to at times. The rest of the characters are decent enough. Most everyone is here just to participate in gags or to help Nicky in his journey, and they all serve their roles well enough, though out of Nicky’s friends I don’t think there are really any standouts compared to his evil brothers or the supporting cast in Hell and heaven.

Of course, this film’s greatest strength lies in just how insanely quotable the whole thing is. Practically every other line is memetically quotable, to the point this film has its own page for memes on TVTropes, something even some bigger and better movies can’t even boast. Chances are you’ll come out of this film with a few new lines to slip into every day conversation and jokes to use with friends. Perhaps you’ll even come out with a desire to eat some Popeye’s chicken, seeing as it is the shiznit.

Now, obviously this movie has flaws… like, seriously, this is an Adam Sandler movie, if I wanted to pick apart how utterly stupid, nonsensical, dumb, and juvenile chunks of this movie are, we’d be here all night. One of the more noticeable problems is the usage of music; in the course of one single scene, they play four different songs, and all of this is in a span of about one or two minutes. Just pick a song and stick to it for fuck’s sake! Then we have the strangely brief snippet of “Rock You Like a Hurricane” that plays as Nicky and his newfound demon pals carry a giant bucket of chicken so that he can confront his brother. It’s such a brief snippet, it’s almost like someone just let their ringtone go off and they kept it on the soundtrack.

There’s a reason this film is a cult classic and not one of the more mainstream Adam Sandler movies, and it’s because it is a weird, wacky, fantasy/comedy film. You’re really getting exactly what you expect here. If you want to see Hitler in a French maid outfit get a pineapple shoved up his ass, Henry Winkler get covered in bees, and a demon change a man’s Coke into a Pepsi as his big test of his wicked transmutation powers, then this film will do you good, but if you don’t think you can handle the absurdity described, it’s understandable if you’d rather sit this one out. Adam Sandler movies aren’t for everyone, and this film ain’t your typical Adam Sandler fare to begin with. Still, I think it has its place, and I personally find it to be an amusingly stupid and stupidly amusing bit of Sandler cinema. It’s not so much so bad it’s good as it is “so batshit crazy it’s pretty funny,” but either way it’s enjoyable if you’re in the right mood for some cheap goofy laughs.

If nothing else, this film is the reason I tried Popeye’s chicken for the first time. If you’ve never heard it, I can confirm – it’s fucking awesome.

[otomeshistarlight-blog]

Rant incoming

I was scrolling through the JoJo tag when I saw this post and I just ... I’m really tired y’all.

First of all, according to a google search it looks like the age of consent in Italy is 14 (if I’m wrong, please correct me) so Narancia is very legal, as is Giorno. America’s laws are not universal. The world is not so UScentric that whatever we as a country deem inappropriate is likewise considered to be inappropriate in other countries. There are varying standards throughout different societies and one is not necessarily more correct than the next. Whether or not I think real life fourteen year olds should be having sex is irrelevant- because even if I don’t agree with it, it’s gonna happen anyway - but Narancia is not a real fourteen year old so whatever the law dictates in America OR Italy is irrelevant.

What this boils down to is that there is no victim here. Narancia cannot be taken advantage of. Narancia cannot be sexually assaulted and face the physical/emotional consequences of such trauma. There is nothing inherently wrong with shipping him in ANY pairing, regardless of the ages involved. If I want to write about him getting wrecked by Bruno I will damn well do it because not a single person is being hurt by me doing so. If this is something that triggers you and causes you distress then don’t 👏🏻 fucking 👏🏻 look 👏🏻 at 👏🏻 it. 👏🏻

Fighting for the rights of fictional characters solves nothing. It helps no one. It doesn’t benefit real victims and it sure as hell does not stop real people from being victimized in the first place. This is a nonissue that people are taking up arms over for no reason other than a perceived moral superiority that makes them feel more in control of the world around them. It stems from feeling helpless and lost in a society that doesn’t bend to their every whim. Fandom space is the only place they feel like they have any power so they take on the role of morality police, try to dictate what people can and cannot like, and then accuse anyone who won’t do what they say of heinous crimes. It’s extremely toxic and harmful, not to mention it lessens the severity of sincere pedophile/abuse finger pointing so the chances of a real predator getting away with it are greatly heightened, and I’m just done with it at this point.

Let’s say I’m looking through the porn tags as I am won’t to do and I come across a post that features blatant child porn. Real child porn. The 3D kind that, yknow, actually features real children being exploited and assaulted for realsies. I’m understandably appalled so I file a report with tumblr and they don’t even look at it because they’ve been bombarded for the last year with false harm to minors reports and the user is never penalized for actually doing something inherently wrong and immoral. Y’all have heard about the girl who cried wolf right? Like, y’all know how that story ends don’t you?

But no. Instead of directing your efforts towards anything worthwhile, you’re going to keep going after shippers. And for what? Because oh no, the fictional seventeen year old who could just as likely be nineteen is being paired with a fictional twenty-five year old. The horror. What is the world coming to? Think of the children!

Except ... these supposed children don’t exist. How can you victimize a piece of paper? The same argument applies to loli/shotacon too mind you, and there is no crime in looking at drawings regardless of their perceived age, especially when the topic is anime where you can have a character who looks like a five year old girl and she is in fact a 400 year old vampire. Like?? There is absolutely no logic you can apply to this that has any internal consistency let alone actually makes sense.

Me: these fictional minors don’t even look like sixteen year olds, where have you seen a real teenager who looks like this?

Antis: they look like teens you pedo!! And ageing them up is still pedophilia because they are canonly sixteen so you’re still thinking about teenagers in a roundabout, highly contrived way

Me: *shows you a 300 year old loli vampire* okay so I can definitely fuck this one right? She’s unrealistically old!

Antis: no!!!! You’re just using her canon age as an excuse to be a freak who preys on children! She might be 300 years old but she still has the body of a child!!

Me: okay so I’ll just age myself down to self ship, no biggie.

Antis: absolutely not!! You’re still an adult and ageing yourself down doesn’t make it okay!! I’m reporting you to the authorities right now!

Me: but ... who am I supposed to imagine fucking then?

Antis: one of the few adults you find in anime, except this one because he’s an abuser, or this one because he tortured a little girl and not the serial killer either because wow problematic

Me: so what you’re telling me ... is that I’m only allowed to thirst after your preapproved, precious cinnamon roll faves even though my tastes or needs in a relationship might vary greatly from yours?

Antis: yes, exactly. I’m so glad you’re finally on my level of intelligence and moral superiority. : ^)

Me: oh, I see now. So what this boils down to is that you just don’t want people to enjoy something you don’t personally agree with. Got it.

Antis: absolutely not!! I’m thinking about the betterment of society by telling you what you can and cannot enjoy! You liking these questionable things is harmful against the greater good! Won’t you think of the children!?

Me: soooooo we’re just gonna ignore how much that sounds like a fascist/communist society or ...?

Antis: : ^)

Y’all should absolutely read 1984. It would do you some good. Because having an attraction to a fucking anime character is not a slippery slope, but this puritanical shit? It sure as hell is.

Let me pose this query: what is stopping an anti from going on a book burning campaign or fighting to get certain books banned? Lolita? Flowers in the Attic? All of the works by Marquis de Sade (a personal hero of mine)? Alternatively who are the only people who actually engage in book burning/banning?

Overzealous religious nuts. Everything about the anti movement is the same “our children shouldn’t be exposed to such filth” battle cry that religious sects - specifically the western ones - have screamed for decades now except with a cute little sjw hat on top. No rock n’ roll music. It’s Satan’s music. No porn. It’s tainting America’s youth. No alcohol. It’s leading our country down the path of sin. No violent video games or movies. They’re turning people into mass shooters. No problematic themes in fictional works because it’s turning people into pedophiles/abusers.

And that is just ... factually incorrect. There is absolutely no correlation between Lolita being published and an uptick in children being sexually assaulted. There is no correlation between lolicon or shotacon breeding more pedophiles. Because that’s literally not how it works. Period. I’m not going to accidentally stumble on a loli doujin and think “huh yknow what? This sounds fun!” I could even read loli doujins at length and that’s still not going to convince me that actually engaging in sexual situations with toddlers is okay. Like ... I don’t know why these people think we’re so stupid that we don’t know the difference between right and wrong but this is just insane. The only people who look at loli or shota and then go on to commit crimes against real children are the ones who were already having those kinds of thoughts in the first place. The only people who play Grand Theft Auto and then go shoot up a church are the ones who were already having violent thoughts to begin with. These thoughts are not magically implanted into our brains regardless of what media we consume and that’s just a goddamn fact.

Yes, media impacts reality but not the way you think it does. Even all those sources antis link to about the supposed correlation between the two are twisted to meet their own rhetoric. It’s called marketing and anyone with half a brain cell knows that it exists. It’s meant to encourage us into thinking we need some product so we spend money on junk and keep capitalism going strong. it works more often than not. However no amount of marketing is going to convince a mentally sound person that shooting up a mall is a valid life choice to make. It just doesn’t work like that and you could scream until your blue in the face that fucking kids is the bees knees and I still wouldn’t touch a real child because that’s gross. Period. And since I can’t touch Bakugou Katsuki or Narancia because they’re just figments of someone’s imagination and pen and paper ... then where lies the problem?? What is the issue with writing or drawing fictional characters, regardless of age or moral compass, in sexual situations?

I’m a CSA survivor that has been on the internet for a LONG time. I’ve seen some shit I sorely wish I could forget. Everything from real life gore, real life death, bestiality, necrophilia and yes even real life child porn. I don’t think there’s a single problematic thing I haven’t accidentally stumbled on and it’s horrific. It’s disgusting. I know all too well how awful these things are and I know even better how it feels to be a victim of rape and sexual assault and pedophilia and grooming. Like. That was my life growing up. I know what these things look like and I can assure you without a shadow of a doubt that whatever is going on in fandom space isn’t even comparable. Please. Draw your OC fucking a dragon mascot character instead of fucking a real animal. Please write about a fictional father fucking his fictional son instead of fucking a real child or a real sibling. Do whatever you want with your imagination - and I do mean WHATEVER. If you want to think about eating your favorite characters shit then by all means. Enjoy. It doesn’t effect reality in any way besides maybe giving someone a cathartic coping outlet and there’s nothing wrong with it.

There’s nothing wrong with ANY topic being explored in fiction.

The only problem is when someone commits a crime in reality. When someone hurts another living being. And consuming this so called problematic fiction does not lead someone to real life crimes. Period.

Finding myself on that stupid gore site when I was 14, BestGore I think it’s called? Did not make me want to try killing someone. I’ve never even seriously contemplated doing it because death is awful in every regard, I wouldn’t seriously wish that on anyone let alone convince myself that it’s okay. But according to antis me being exposed to that sort of content means I’m more likely to go out and commit murder?

Literally what crack are you smoking?

Get the fuck out of here and do something worthwhile with your time if you honestly find these topics so disturbing. If not then shut up, sit down and let people enjoy their fandom experience however they see fit. Because this right here? This treating fictional characters like they matter, like they’re real people? It’s not fucking cute. And as someone who was raped from the time I was eleven until I was eighteen by a family member I can safely say that you aren’t doing shit to help anyone with this holier than thou, I know better than you crusade.

And that is the goddamn truth whether you like it or not.

[casuallydeliciousphilosopher]

Off I Go Pt. 1 of 2

This fic was written for the @thedeckerstarnetwork Secret Santa Christmas Gift Exchange. And, I had the pleasure of writing this for the marvelous @mourning-night ! I was given this song as a prompt and I’m not really sure how I wound up with this, but here we go. I also need to thank my beta editor @valifecent. Mourningnight, I hope you enjoy the first half of your gift, or as I like to call it, the angst train to hell. ;D This takes place during season three before Lucifer knows Marcus is Cain.

Lucifer stared down at the twinkling city lights as he blew out a long puff of smoke. Back before his partnership with the Detective, he’d never understood what humans meant when they said that the holiday season was the most depressing, but now he felt the effects of it with piercing clarity. This last year hadn’t been kind on the devil, he’d killed his younger brother, he’d been forced to send his mother to a different plane of existence, and recent events involving the Detective turned out to be the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. And now here he was, holed up in the penthouse as he tried his hardest to drown his sorrows by drinking his way through the well-stocked bar in his living room. Unfortunately, it turned out that no amount of alcohol could persuade the invisible hands that were wringing his heart to have mercy. He let out a bitter chuckle at the thought; he was the devil, he didn’t deserve mercy.

What had he expected? Of course Chloe wasn’t going to take well to the revelation that he was Satan incarnate. He could still hear the tremor in her voice as she backed away from him, still see the way she kept her hand closer to her gun as though she thought that he would actually do something to harm her, still feel the icy tingle running through his veins as he realized that everything they ever had with each other was over. There was no way that the Detective would want to continue their partnership; that much was clear by the way she practically fled the crime scene the second all of the proprieties were taken care of and everything had been properly handed off. At least she was still alive though, even her avoiding him at all costs was preferable to witnessing her being lowered into the ground in a wooden box. He shivered slightly at the thought of what might have happened if he hadn’t reacted to the gunshots quickly enough, and he knew that regardless of the consequences, he’d do it all over again just to know that Chloe was safe.

But the reassurance that his favorite little miracle was still alive and in one piece did nothing to quell the pain he was currently in. No wonder why humans called it a broken heart, it was bloody awful, like he was being ripped apart from the inside by a feral hellhound. He tipped back the remaining dredges in the bottom of the bottle he held before letting it slip from his fingers; it clattered against the cold marble floor loudly, the sound reverberating through the empty penthouse sounded eerily similar to the bells in the silver city used to signal the arrival of new souls. Lucifer stood there in silence for a long moment, reliving the moment of truth over in his mind just like he had been for the last two days. It seemed to play slower in his head, drawing out his torture as he was forced to re-watch as she recoiled from his touch when he tried to pull her out of her shock, as she backed away from him like he was some sort of rabid animal, as her eyes glazed over with pity when he finally admitted…Lucifer shook his head as he pulled himself out of the daze he’d been in.

He couldn’t stay up here. He couldn’t force himself to pretend that everything was alright. He couldn’t act like none of it ever mattered when it had been the only thing that he ever gave a damn about. There was no way he could force himself to stay away from her, and it was clear that she didn’t want him in her life anymore. Lucifer wasn’t going to deny it, he wasn’t going to try and tell himself that she’d come around. Chloe wasn’t Linda. The Detective hardly tolerated him when he was just a simple civilian consultant, and it was impossible to hope that she would accept his partnership now that she knew exactly who and what he was. Lucifer ground his teeth and drew in a long breath as he squeezed his eyes shut, flicking his half-burnt cigarette over the balcony railing. He knew what he had to do, but first, he had a few loose ends to tie up.

Lucifer tried to ignore the haunting voices of the Christmas carolers down the way as he patiently waited for someone to open the door; thankfully, it didn’t take long before the sound of the deadbolt disengaging filled the quiet just before the door swung open. For the briefest second it felt like everything was going to be alright; Chloe was standing right there before him, an expectant smile gracing her features as the twinkling lights adorning the Christmas tree in her living room made her golden hair sparkle. But the illusion disappeared just as quickly as it arrived; Chloe stepped back from the entryway, her smile dying as confusion overwhelmed her features. She shook her head slightly before her voice finally broke the silence, “Oh! Lucifer, wha—”.

“My apologies, Detective. I didn’t mean to bother you.” He cut her off as he took a step back, it was more than obvious to him that she was already uncomfortable with his proximity. He tried to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest and the way his heart was definitely beating faster than it should be as he averted his eyes, unable to bear seeing the almost fearful expression on Chloe’s face a moment longer. “I’m here to speak with Mazikeen.” He added a moment later, still refusing to look up at her.

“Lucifer!” The distinctly male voice cut through the lingering silence with ease, and the devil quickly jerked his head up to see Marcus walking towards the door with a wide smile plastered on his face. The Lieutenant finished closing the gap between them, wrapping an arm around Chloe’s shoulders and drawing her into his side as he came to a stop. The blatant display of affection sent a fiery wave of jealousy through him at the same time that his heart spasmed painfully once more, his veins suddenly feeling as though his blood had turned to ice. He clenched his jaw as the two unwanted emotions battled for dominance within him, but before a winner could be determined Marcus was speaking up once more, “Come on in!”. The Lieutenant stepped aside, pulling Chloe with him as he gestured towards the living room. Lucifer offered Marcus a tight-lipped smile as he stepped inside, immediately looking around in search of Maze. He spotted her curled up on the couch under a blanket as she stared at the TV with rapt attention. Before he could even take a step towards his demon, Marcus’s voice was droning over the soft noises escaping the television,“I thought that you would’ve been spending Christmas eve with your family.”.

Lucifer turned at the statement, gritting his teeth once more as he noticed the way Chloe was nervously nibbling on her lower lip as she pressed herself as tightly into Marcus’s side as she could manage. “My family and I aren’t exactly on gracious terms.” He replied, his voice coming out much more venomous than he meant for it to. He quickly took a step away from the two of them as he noticed that the sound of his voice made Chloe manage to somehow press herself even tighter against Marcus’s side.

“Lucifer!” The screech of his name came out of nowhere mere seconds before the Detective’s spawn descended upon him. He didn’t even have time to protest before the little miscreant had wrapped her arms around his waist as she stared up at him with large eyes and a wide, gappy smile. He flinched away from the child’s sticky touch at first, but he relaxed a moment later, even daring to reach down and pat her head. It was the last time he was going to see the child, after all, he might as well show a modicum of affection.

After a few excess seconds began to drag on Lucifer shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat before speaking up, “Would you kindly release me, small human?”.

“Are you going to spend Christmas eve with us too?” Trixie questioned as she finally let go of the devil, stepping back as she continued to smile up at him.

“No,” Lucifer replied immediately, smoothing his hands over his suit as he set his sights on Maze once again. “I came to collect my demon.” He continued, his voice growing softer as he started walking over to the couch that Mazikeen was currently nestled on.

“Luci! Do you want some spiked cocoa?” Maze asked loudly as she waved her mug around in the air above her head, not bothering to tear her gaze from the movie.

Lucifer ignored her question as he stopped in his tracks and spoke up, “Maze.”. The demon turned around at that, her eyes searching his face quickly before she huffed loudly and rolled her eyes.

“Seriously? I’m kinda busy here,” Mazikeen explained, annoyance lacing her voice as she gestured wildly to the TV sitting before her.

Lucifer scowled at her words, his teeth grinding together as he silently cursed his archdemon for always choosing the worst possible moments to start showing him sass. “Mazikeen,” Lucifer repeated dangerously. His patience had been worn thin a while ago, he just needed to get this over with and get out of here; the sooner the better. Maze dared to question him a second time, looking over her shoulder with a sharp glare and a petulant pout. Lucifer growled quietly at the insubordination, the lights flickering slightly just before the devil quickly reigned in his temper. Lucifer barely heard Marcus muttering something about a power surge to Chloe as he watched Maze place her mug on the coffee table before standing up.

“This better be damn important.” She grumbled as she made her way over to him. Lucifer simply wrapped his hand around her arm before dragging her towards the door as he did his best to avoid the three gazes currently resting on the two of them. He released his hold on her as soon as the two of them stepped out into the cold night air, the front door drifting shut a moment later as Lucifer drew in a long breath and tried to prepare himself for the conversation to come.

“I’m going back. Do you want to come with me? Or are you staying here?” He questioned as he stared down at the demon standing before him.

“You’re going back to hell?” Mazikeen questioned, her eyes growing slightly larger as her voice took on an almost offended tone.

Lucifer nodded once before simply replying, “I am.”.

Mazikeen shook her head, her eyebrows creasing together as she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “Why?”

Lucifer rolled his eyes as he huffed out a breath. “There’s nothing left for me up here, Maze.”

“You’re leaving because you’re upset about how Chloe took the whole Devil thing,” Maze confronted him as she took a step forward, closing the distance between herself and the fallen angel as she purposely invaded his personal space. It took a few seconds for Lucifer’s steely demeanor to crumble, and Maze let out a soft sigh and shook her head in response. “Lucifer, she just needs some time, she’s starting to come around. She’s fine with me!” The demon explained as she gestured wildly to the apartment behind her, dragging Lucifer’s gaze to the window where he could perfectly see Marcus whispering something in Chloe’s ear just before she laughed at him and playfully slapped his chest. The sight made his throat tighten uncomfortably, and he quickly looked away as he tried to ignore the icy tingle that was currently radiating through his body. “I mean, she did ask me some weird questions, but everything’s still the same,” Maze continued, clearly not noticing the internal battle that Lucifer was currently suffering through. He glanced up sharply as soon as she finished, his eyes narrowing as he drew in a long breath and attempted to quell the rush of emotions that her words brought on.

“Nothing is the same Mazikeen,” Lucifer growled as he stepped forward menacingly, which, of course, only made the demon glare up at him with an expression that dared him to lash out. “Nothing will ever be the same,” Lucifer’s voice cracked over the simple words as his grief managed to win out over the temporary surge of anger. Why couldn’t his demon understand that sticking around wasn’t going to make the pain fade? He had to move on, regardless of how much it hurt.

“Stop being such a drama king,” Maze remarked as she rolled her eyes, and if Lucifer wasn’t already in so much pain he certainly would have lashed out for that last comment; but he just didn’t have it in him to keep fighting, let alone with the people he cared about.

“She knows, Maze.” He growled as he tried to focus on keeping his voice from cracking under the weight that was currently pressing on his chest.

“Obviously, now do yo—”

“She knows that I love her!” Lucifer shouted, unable to keep himself civil when Maze just kept telling him that his emotions about the situation didn’t matter when the pain coursing through his being was comparable to how it felt when he fell from heaven. Thick silence brewed between the devil and his demon for a moment as he caught his breath, and as soon as Lucifer’s simmering emotions died down a little he glanced over at the Detective’s window once more; he wasn’t surprised to see that both Chloe and Marcus were staring outside at the two of them with almost concerned expressions; but he knew that their concern wasn’t directed towards him, no, they were worried he would hurt his favorite demon. Something dark and cold grew inside of him as he realized that Chloe was only worried about how he could hurt the people she cared about, she’d likely never show him concern for his wellbeing again.

“I just…” Lucifer trailed off as he turned his gaze to the concrete under him. He shook his head and drew in a deep breath, silently willing away the unwanted wetness beginning to pool in his eyes at the reminder that she’d never actually cared about him, that it had all just been some elaborate prank from his father. “The pity in her eyes when I told her.” He muttered softly as he finally drew his gaze back up to meet Mazikeen’s. He was surprised to find something almost understanding or mournful written across Mazikeen’s features, at least one of the women in his life still cared for him in some small fashion. “I can’t stay, Maze,” Lucifer explained, and Mazikeen’s expression immediately fell, her mouth falling open as she shook her head. “I can’t.” He reaffirmed before she could protest his decision. Mazikeen needed to understand that he couldn’t withstand this…this torture any longer. Even hell was kinder that this twisted reality. “She’s with Marcus now, he makes her happy. She’ll live a good life.” He stated; but he knew that he was saying those words for his own benefit, that he wouldn’t be able to leave if he thought that her future wouldn’t be any better with him gone. “A better one than I could ever give her.”

“Lucif—”

“I’m leaving, Mazikeen,” Lucifer growled as he cut her off before she could speak. He knew that she was only going to try and convince him to stay, and he couldn’t, it would only kill whatever tattered shreds were left of his blackened soul. “That’s final.” He added, his voice holding a steely note of authority that dared her to question him yet again. “I simply came here to extend the invitation to you.” He explained, before immediately continuing, “Do you want to go back home, or do you want to stay up here with your human family?”.

Maze clearly struggled for words as she stared up at Lucifer for a long moment, worry written across her forehead. “I don’t…” She struggled to continue as she clenched her hands into fists so she wouldn’t have to recognize the way that her fingers were beginning to tremble. “I don’t want to leave, Lucifer.” She muttered, her voice small and unsure. Lucifer swore that he’d never heard hell’s most fearsome torturer sound so conflicted, so pained.

“Alright then,” Lucifer replied with a curt nod as he tried to ignore the small stab of pain that Maze’s decision sent through his core. He hadn’t expected her to come, but some small part of him had hoped that she would; that he would have some sort of proof that he mattered enough to someone, to anyone, that they would choose to stay by his side through thick and thin.

“But…I also promised you that we’d always be a team, until the end of time. I…” Maze stopped speaking when her voice cracked, clearly taking a moment to attempt to piece her crumbling composure back together. How could he act like this was so easy for him? Like none of them mattered enough to stick around for? How could he possibly expect her to choose between him and everyone she had up here? Did any of them actually mean anything to him? Linda, Dan, Trixie, Chloe; how could he turn his back on all of them with such ease? “Please,” Maze pleaded, reaching out and taking Lucifer’s hand in hers as she tried to ignore the way her vision was blurring. Her fingers dug into his skin as she clung to him, desperate for some sort of reassurance that he was still here, that he hadn’t abandoned her…not yet, at least. “Don’t make me choose.”

“Maze,” Lucifer breathed, knowing that if he actually spoke his voice would fail him. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.” He explained, his voice a hushed whisper as he squeezed her hand gently, knowing that this would be the last time he’d be able to relish in the touch of someone he cared about for the next few millennia. “I wish I could but…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he stared blankly at the tiny apartment standing before him. “I can’t take the pain any longer.”

“I…I promised Linda that I’d go to her birthday party in a month, and the kid’s taking me to show and tell next Monday…I…” Maze explained, her voice hardly more than a mumble as Lucifer carefully extricated his hand from her grip.

“Times change, Mazikeen. I released you from your promises a while ago,” Lucifer replied, forcing the disappointment in his voice away. Maze had served him faithfully for eons, and although he knew that he would miss her presence in hell, she deserved to have her wishes respected; regardless of how much they hurt. “If they matter that much to you then you belong with them.” He added as he rested his hands on her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze before pulling away.

“Please…” Mazikeen’s broken voice made him stop before he could even turn away. “Don’t go.” Part of Lucifer’s resolve crumbled at those weakly muttered words, he didn’t want to hurt her, but he knew that this had to be done for his own good. He managed a wobbly smile despite the cold stab of pain radiating through his being, but it was Maze’s expression; the hurt and unshed tears swimming in her eyes, the way the tips of her fingers were trembling despite the temperate weather outside, the steely clench of her jaw that would have alluded to rage if not for the bob of her throat when she swallowed just a little too thickly; that finally weakened his defenses enough for him to open his arms, inviting her in for something the two of them had never shared before.

Mazikeen stepped forward tentatively, almost as though she was expecting some sort of trickery; but when Lucifer didn’t sway she finally seemed to let her guard down enough to finish closing the distance between them, burying her face in his chest as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. She’d never expected to willingly accept a hug, especially one from Lucifer, let alone to return it just as freely as it was given, but Mazikeen had accepted a while ago that this place had changed her just as much as it had changed her former master. “You’ll always be my favorite little demon,” Lucifer murmured, swallowing heavily when he heard the muted, choked breath that escaped the demon at his quiet admission. “I’ll come visit in a century or two. Maybe you’ll want to come back then.” He explained as he began to loosen his grip and pull away from Maze; after all, he knew that she wouldn’t want to stay up here after she watched every human she ever cared about wither away and die.

“Lucifer…” Maze hated sounding so weak, and she hated that his name was the only word her mouth seemed to be able to form at the moment, but this storm of alien emotions tumbling inside of her was threatening to make her body shut down. Is this what Lucifer felt like? No wonder why he said that he couldn’t take the pain any longer, if she didn’t know better she’d think that God himself was attempting to destroy the very fiber of her being.

Lucifer forced himself to ignore the tugging feeling in his chest that was trying so hard to anchor him to this place that he was almost certain when he left something inside of him would rip in two. Before he even fully comprehended what he was doing he was leaning down slightly, his hands cradling Mazikeen’s face as he brushed a kiss against her forehead. “Goodbye, Mazikeen,” Lucifer spoke as he pulled away, a hint of finality in his tone as he quickly turned away from the demon and walked off before she could try and stop him again. His resolve to leave was slowly being chipped away bit by bit, and he had to go before anyone convinced him otherwise. This wasn’t where he belonged. Not anymore.

Mazikeen stood there in shocked silence as she watched Lucifer disappear around the corner of the building and out of sight. Slowly the haze that was surrounding her began to thin like fog being blown away by the wind, and then the full reality of it hit her with full force.

Lucifer was gone.

Lucifer was gone and he wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Something hot slipped down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away; she was a demon, this display of weakness was pathetic, she needed to get it together. Apparently ‘getting it together’ involved dooming one of the Detective’s potted plants to a premature death as she kicked it violently, sending it clattering against the concrete where it finally broke into a pile of dirt and ceramic. The show of anger helped soothe over her raw nerves, she knew how to manage anger, but that other shit was just too much. She wasn’t expecting the door to open suddenly as Chloe poked her head out, glancing around quickly before her eyes settled on her currently pathetic looking sago palm before immediately focusing on her roommate.

“What was that all about?” Chloe questioned curiously after a long beat of silence. Maze huffed as she pushed the door open further, stomping past her roommate and towards the kitchen as she decided that attempting to get drunk would definitely improve the night.

“Nothing,” Mazikeen growled as she opened the cupboard that housed her plentiful supply of liquor.

“Maze, are you alright?” Chloe asked, concern lacing her voice as she closed and locked the front door. Maze tried to ignore the question, but when she pulled her favorite bottle of vodka from the cupboard her eyes fell on the old bottle of brandy that Lucifer had gifted to her when she’d first moved in with Chloe, and suddenly all of the unwanted emotions that she’d just barely managed to force away came rushing back with more force than Maze was prepared for. She swallowed heavily as her vision began to annoying blur once again.

Mazikeen flinched slightly when she felt Chloe’s hand gently touch her forearm, and she slammed the cupboard shut as she turned to face the Detective. “I’m fine.” She growled as she stormed past Chloe, making her way back over to her abandoned spot on the couch as she pried the lid off of her bottle.

“Everything’s fine,” Maze added, her voice harsh as she lifted the bottle to her lips before taking a long swig of the fiery liquid. The demon knew that Chloe wasn’t buying it, but thankfully her roommate knew when to let things rest and didn’t press her for any more answers. It didn’t take long for the little Decker to help herself onto the couch and curl into Maze’s side happily, but even the child could sense the sour mood rolling off of Mazikeen; and when Trixie looked up at the demon with wide, concerned eyes she simply smoothed a hand over the little one’s hair before murmuring under her breath, “Everything’s fine.”.

Lucifer flicked the ash from the tip of his cigarette as he stared up at the night sky, he knew that this would be the last time for a few eons that he’d have the chance to stare at the beauty of the world that he’d once helped create. There were plenty of things he was going to miss about Earth; fresh air, sunshine, the women, the stars, and of course, he was going to miss her. He shook his head grumpily as he forced the thoughts of one particular golden-haired Detective from his mind. It was over. There was no going back. He flicked his cigarette out of his hand, watching as it fell into the sand under his feet, glowing red for a few moments before the life flickered out of it, leaving nothing but a thin trail of smoke that whispered it’s way up towards the heavens.

The devil let out a lofty sigh as he summoned his wings, the darkness around him dissipating slightly as the ocean breeze ruffled his feathers. He wanted to turn around and look at the twinkling lights of LA, he wanted to know if they’d still be just as strikingly beautiful as when he’d first arrived here only a few mere years ago; but he pushed the desire away. He’d made up his mind, looking back would only make it harder to follow through with the path he’d already chosen for himself. It was harder than he’d like to admit to spread his wings, part of him didn’t want to say goodbye to this planet and all of its beauty; but he didn’t belong here, he never belonged here. And in the end, it was the memory of Chloe’s broken trust in the warehouse on that fateful day that encouraged him to take flight. The ground shrank away at an alarming speed as he gained height, soaring out over the Pacific before he tucked his wings against his body and plummeted towards the inky depths of the ocean.

The wind swept past his face as he neared the surface of the water, and just before he could touch the waves everything changed; the world blurring away as the air turned from salty and crisp to stale and acrid, and instead of watery depths the throne room of hell came into his sight. He’d nearly forgotten how little wing room there was in hell as he plummeted towards the rapidly approaching ground, just barely managing to slow himself down enough to manage a somewhat sloppy, if not fearsome looking landing. Several lesser demons that were mulling around mindlessly turned to face him immediately, letting out sharp hisses before quickly scampering off into the dark crevices lingering at the edges of the clearing. Lucifer righted himself with ease, glancing around before his gaze fell onto stony grey throne that awaited his return, and the bulky form currently occupying his rightful seat. Finally, a fitting distraction to get his mind off of these damn human emotions.

“Astaroth,” Lucifer greeted the demon coldly as he pressed his wings against his back and stepped towards his throne.

“Well, well, well.” The demon chuckled as he tapped his wickedly curved claws against the armrest of the throne, sending little staccato taps echoing through the empty room. “Look who finally returned to Hell.” His voice held a mocking tone that Lucifer ignored as he continued to close the distance resting between himself and the demon that had apparently only grown more insubordinate in his absence.

“I see you’ve taken an affinity towards my throne,” Lucifer stated as he stopped at the lowest step that led up to the stony seat. His eyes quickly glancing over the demon as he assessed the level of threat Astaroth posed, but when his eyes caught on a dark, glinting bit of metal a wicked grin tilted the corners of his lips up. “And my sword.”

A smirk filled the demon’s face, revealing too many jagged teeth as he reached down, stroking his clawed hand against the hilt of the weapon and sending a small shower of sparks from the metal as it screeched under his touch. “What can I say?” Astaroth chuckled darkly as all six of his eyes suddenly focused on the fallen angel. “You left and the lesser demons needed guidance from someone with my talents.” The massive demon continued as Lucifer began ascending the steps leading up to his rightful throne.

“As you can see, I’m back now,” Lucifer explained, his voice taking on a harsh tone as he stopped in front of the demon that rivaled his height even though he was seated. “You’re dismissed.” The words held an authority that dared to be disobeyed, and even Astaroth seemed conflicted for a moment before he sat up just a little straighter, using his lumbering height to lean over the angel slightly.

“Hell is mine now,” Astaroth growled as he clenched his hand around the armrest of the throne, his claws digging deep marks into the stone. Lucifer simply laughed at the demons claim, the sound reverberating off of the towering stone outcroppings as Astaroth growled in warning.

“You really think you’re strong enough to rule over my dominion?” Lucifer questioned darkly, gesturing to the expanse of ash and jagged stone that lay before the demon, his gaze lingering on a few sets of red eyes that were peering curiously at them. Onlookers hoping for a fight undoubtedly, and at the rate things were going, Lucifer was quite certain that they were going to get exactly what they wanted.

“I’m stronger than you are little angel,” Astaroth answered as he finally stood, dwarfing Lucifer with his lumbering height.

It was Lucifer’s turn to smirk at the demon’s words, a smile that was clearly poisonous filling his face as he stepped forward, challenging the demon as he spoke, “Perhaps you should put that statement to the test.”.

Astaroth made it a point to let out a dramatic sigh, acting as though Lucifer was seriously inconveniencing him before he agreed, “Very well, if it’s a fight you want I suppose I can take a few minutes out of my day to kick your feathered ass.” The demon tried to grab the blade resting beside the throne quickly, but it was hard to move with great speed when one’s strength lied in their bulky build; and when Astaroth turned towards the devil with sword in hand Lucifer was fully prepared for the onslaught, his wing coming up to shield him from the sword quickly descending towards him. A sound that rivaled the crackling of thunder filled the quiet as a bright burst of light exploded through the room. Lucifer lowered his wing a second later, looking down at his feet to see half of the sword laying on the stony ground.

“Impossible,” Astaroth muttered, drawing Lucifer’s attention over to the demon as it picked itself up off the ground, the hilt of the broken sword in his hand before he dropped it onto the ground with a loud clatter.

“You clearly forgot, that weapon was forged in heaven. It was never meant to be wielded by the likes of a demon,” Lucifer explained as he reached out, for a second nothing happened, but then the hilt of the blade came soaring towards him and he caught it in his outstretched hand. The fallen angel picked up the other half of the broken blade, pressing the two halves of the weapon together just before it suddenly glowed a rich golden color, the metal mending together as it reacted to the touch of its rightful owner. The light ebbed a moment later, the black stone laid into the handle of the blade glowing a deep red for a second as the stone resting in the ring on the fallen angel’s hand did the same. “It’s impossible to harm an angel with their own feathers.” The devil stated condescendingly as he twirled the blade in his hand, muscle memory flooding back despite the fact that it had been years since he’d had to fight with such a weapon.

“You haloed bastard,” Astaroth growled before launching himself forward. Lucifer ducked under a wildly thrown arm, avoiding the deadly claws with ease before slicing deep into the demons furry thigh, a snarl of pain escaping the beast as it’s leg gave under its weight before it tumbled town the throne room stairs. Lucifer shook his head at his opponent, it was obvious the years had made Astaroth soft; he’d undoubtedly spent so long at the top unchallenged that he’d forgotten how to fight a worthy opponent. “Put the sword down and we’ll see how you do in a fair fight,” Astaroth challenged as he forced himself to stand up, his wounded leg trembling under the stress as black blood trickled from the cut.

“You were willing to take a blade up against an unarmed man. I don’t see why I should show you the mercy you were unwilling to show me,” Lucifer replied as he slowly descended the stairs. His words only served to enrage the wounded demon further, and as soon as the fallen angel was within fighting distance the demon was swiping a clawed hand towards the devil. Lucifer evaded the attack with ease, rage making Astaroth sloppy. Several more attempted blows came from the lumbering giant, each of them avoided with calculated ease before Lucifer finally tired of toying with the quickly tiring demon; another calculated sword move resulted in the blade being driven deep between the demons third and fourth rib. The giant stumbled slightly before falling onto the ground with a heavy thud; labored, gurgling breaths escaping the demons twisted lips as it struggled to stand.

Lucifer was stepping on the creature’s chest a second later, forcing it back against the cold ground. Before Astaroth could claw his way out from under the fallen angels boot Lucifer was pinning the demon’s arms against the stony floor, his dagger-like feathers piercing the creatures thick hide with ease as his wings held him in place. A lofty sigh escaped the fallen angel as he leaned down slightly, his blade pressing against the demons thick neck as the beast let out a feral snarl. “I’d let you live, but we both know you need to serve as an example.” A sickeningly wet thud followed the quiet words, the body of the fallen giant twitching for a moment before it slowly crumbled into a mass of ashes and glowing red embers.

Lucifer righted himself, dusting the ash from his suit as he stalked towards his throne. He ran his hand slowly over the stone that had been worn smooth over the eons, only bothering to glance behind himself when he heard the soft scuffling of demons slowly departing from the shadows; more than two dozen hellish figures crept their way towards the smoldering ashes that had once been their former lord. A small murmur passed through the crowd of creatures before one bowed deeply, the words ‘my lord’ muttered reverently before the rest followed suit, a small chorus of hellish voices filling the air. Lucifer smiled at the simple pledge of allegiance, he’d almost forgot what it felt like, the rush that came from knowing that he’d single-handedly conquered this hellish world. He settled into his rightful seat gracefully, the whole time telling himself that this was it, this was where he truly belonged.

Time passed quickly in hell, and Lucifer was properly occupied repairing the crumbling state of things. It wasn’t long before the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into years. And although he never forgot about Chloe, and the lingering pain never truly left; both the memories and the unwanted feelings eventually began to become muted and then fade just enough to release him from the hell that was his own self-inflicted torment.

“Hey Maze,” Chloe’s voice broke the silence that was filling the small apartment as Maze mindlessly stirred her vodka soaked lucky charms.

“Yeah?” She asked as she spooned up a few soggy marshmallows before letting them tumble back into the bowl. She glanced over at her roommate as the woman leaned against the counter across from her, a concerned expression plastered on the Detectives face.

“Do you have any idea where Lucifer is?” She asked, the nonchalance in her voice obviously forced. Maze let her spoon clatter against the ceramic bowl loudly as she clenched her jaw at the unwanted feelings of loss that stirred in her at the mention of his name. “He hasn’t shown up at the precinct lately and my calls keep getting sent straight to voicemail,” Chloe explained the faked nonchalance wearing off as worry began to seep into her voice.

Mazikeen swallowed, forcing the annoying feelings back into some dark crevice where she wouldn’t have to face them as her eyes bored into her roommates for a long moment. “He’s gone.” She answered simply, dragging her gaze back to the bowl of lucky charms in front of her as she picked her spoon back up.

“What?” Chloe’s voice held a hint of laughter as she spoke, and Maze looked up to see a small smile on the Detective’s face. That smile died quickly when Maze didn’t confirm that she’d been making a joke. “What do you mean he’s gone?” Her voice was serious this time, her piercing aqua eyes making the demon shift uncomfortably in her seat.

“He went back,” Maze answered with a shrug, but her voice still broke on the last word. She cleared her throat purposely as she returned her eyes back to the bowl before her, unable to hold Chloe’s gaze any longer. “That’s why he dropped by here on Christmas eve…” She muttered, her voice growing quieter as her vision began to blur. “To ask me if I wanted to go with him,” Maze whispered, shaking the tears pricking her eyes away, she was a demon, she was above crying.

“Wait…you mean,” Chloe stopped talking for a moment as she stepped around the counter, coming to stand beside the demon as she spoke up once more, “You mean he went back to hell?”.

Maze swallowed at the tone of Chloe’s voice, the hurt, the denial; damn Lucifer for doing this to both of them. Did he even remember them anymore? At this point he’d been down there for centuries already. The thought of being abandoned and forgotten about made tears prick at the back of Mazikeen’s eyes once more, but this time she found that she couldn’t will them away. “I tried to convince him not to, but he wouldn’t hear me out,” Maze murmured as she pushed the bowl of cereal away from herself. A choked breath escaped the Detective as she sat down on the stool next to Maze, and the demon turned towards the blonde woman, taking in the lost look etched into her features. “Chloe, you have to believe me, I begged him to stay.” The demon explained, shaking her head as Chloe’s watery blue eyes flicked up to meet her own. “But he just…” Maze trailed off as she returned her gaze to the countertop. “He thought you hated him, or pitied him, or something.” She continued, the words falling from her lips without thought as she relieved the scene through her head. “He said he couldn’t take the pain any longer.”

“Lucifer left because of me?” The surprise in Chloe’s voice was unmistakable, and Maze dared to look up at her friend only to find tears forming in the woman’s eyes. “Can we…” She trailed off as she shook her head, wringing her hands together before she continued, “Is there any way to contact him? To tell him to come back?”.

Maze snorted at the hopeful tone in Chloe’s voice. Humans, so naive. “Not unless you want to die.” She answered, her voice harsh and cutting. She let up on the woman a little bit a moment later as she continued, “Only angels can transverse planes. Amenadiel fell from grace and lost his wings a while ago.”. Silence dragged on between the two women for a long moment, and eventually Maze looked up into her roommate’s eyes so she could reaffirm; “He’s gone, Chloe.”. “He said he’d come back to check on me in a few centuries.” Maze mumbled, shrugging as she tried to act like Lucifer’s promise hadn’t meant anything to her, even though as each day passed she found herself hoping more and more that he wouldn’t forget her.

“But…I’ll be dead by then,” Chloe protested weakly, her voice breaking on the words.

Maze found herself scoffing and shaking her head even though part of her wanted to comfort her friend. But she was just so full of pent-up hurt, and if anyone deserved to suffer with her it was the person who ran Lucifer off to begin with. “Yeah. I think that was kinda the point,” Mazikeen bit out as she shot the Detective a harsh look.

“But…I…” Chloe stammered over the words, seemingly taken aback by the demons sudden mood change. “I didn’t want him to leave, Maze.” She whispered as a tear finally managed to escape and roll down her cheek. The brunette clenched her jaw at the sight of Chloe crying, her emotions getting the better of her logic; Chloe didn’t have the right to pity herself over this, it was her fault that he was gone, it was her fault that Mazikeen had been forced to say goodbye.

“Then you should have fucking talked to him instead of running away!” Mazikeen shouted as she stood up, the stool she was sitting on clattering loudly to the ground as Chloe flinched away from the angry demon. “Do you think you can just avoid him after he saved your life like that? After he told you that he loved you?” Maze continued, her voice growing louder as Chloe shakily slid off of the stool she’d been perched on before backing away from her pissed-off roommate. “You are the first creature that he’s actually loved like that! The first, Decker! Do you have any idea how many times he’s died to keep you alive?” Maze continued her rage-fueled rant, stepping forward as Chloe obviously tried to put some space between the two of them.

“I mean, he killed his own fucking brother to save your life! He would have done anything for you!” The demon snarled as Chloe bumped into a wall behind herself, the words making her flinch as the demon continued prowling towards her. This was all too much, she couldn’t even begin to take in everything Maze was throwing at her, especially not when the woman was descending upon her like she’d like nothing more than to rip her apart piece by piece. “And then the second you find out that he really is what he’s been saying all this time you don’t say a damn word to him, you act like you can’t get far enough away.” Mazikeen’s voice grew quieter yet somehow more fearsome as the woman closed the last few feet of distance separating them.

“Of course he’s going to leave. If I were him, I’d have done the same damn thing.” The demon growled, and Chloe found herself struggling for words as she shook her head. This couldn’t be true. It was some cruel, twisted joke, it had to be. “You were the one who ran him off, now you get to live with the consequences.” Maze choked out, her voice breaking as her rage began to ebb. The demon drew in a rough breath as she stared at her roommate’s tear-streaked face, and as much as she knew she should apologize for everything that happened she found that she couldn’t right now. Instead, she found herself stalking towards the front door before letting herself outside, a certain blonde therapist in her mind as she set off.

Chloe slowly let herself slide down the wall until she was sitting on the cold floor, tears streaming down her face as she shook her head. This was all too much. Everything Maze had just told her, the obvious loathing her friend felt towards her now, the knowledge that Lucifer was gone; and not just to Vegas, but gone from the earth. She’d never get to see him again; no more inappropriate quips, no more playful propositions, no more stupid stakeout chats. He was gone. Forever. The feeling ripping through her chest was comparable to how she’d felt when her father died, like her world had just been ripped apart. She sat there in her kitchen until her legs went numb, tears streaming down her face as her heart broke at the realization of it all. Lucifer was gone, and he was never coming back, and it was all her fault.

Lucifer examined his fingernails boredly as the demon before him spluttered out some half-assed excuse for missing deadlines. He’d hardly paid the little creature any mind from the second it stepped before him to speak; he wasn’t in the mood to listen to excuses, he wanted results. “So you see, my lord, we’re terribly understaffed.” The demon explained, and Lucifer let out a long-suffering sigh as he pulled his gaze away from his hand. His sights settled on the short demons twisted horns for the briefest of seconds before a glint of gold that was too familiar drew his gaze to the line of shackled souls being led deeper into hell. “We’d like to request another squad of workers.” The demons words fell on deaf ears as Lucifer’s jaw dropped and he continued to stare at the procession before him. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be…but it was, and he’d never felt so terrified in his whole existence.

“No,” Lucifer whispered as he stood up, talking to nobody in particular as he stepped forward.

“No, my lord?” The demon questioned, surprise lacing its voice just before Lucifer started walking forward, pushing the demon out of his way blindly and paying the creature no mind when it fell over with a rough grunt.

“No, no, no, no, no.” Lucifer’s voice grew louder with each incantation of the word. This was wrong. This was all wrong. But the nearer he drew, the more certainty he felt; this was happening, this was real, it wasn’t some twisted nightmare. “Iosepheus, halt,” Lucifer ordered, his voice echoing through the clearing as the procession of souls came to a stuttering stop before him.

“My lord?” The demon leading them questioned as it abandoned its spot at the front of the procession and made its way over to the devil as he continued to close the distance resting between him and the one person he never expected to see in hell. She didn’t belong here, and he wished that little jolt he felt when his heart stuttered in his chest could be attributed to fear, but he knew better; no, that was something selfish, something that was grateful for the chance to see her once again.

“No.” Lucifer growled as he came to a stop, his voice seemingly drawing her confused and dazed gaze from the shackles binding her wrists as her bright aqua eyes met his own. Lucifer swallowed heavily, a sea of emotion that he hadn’t felt for millennia flooding back like no time had passed at all. He lifted his hand, nearly tucking a stray lock of golden hair back behind her ear before he caught himself, forcing his hand back down to his side. “What are you doing down here? You don’t belong here,” Lucifer murmured softly as he quickly lost himself in those deep blue pools. He watched as she extricated herself from the haze consuming her, a flicker of recognition filling her face just before her expression contorted and her mouth fell open.

“Of course it does, my lord. Any guilty soul belongs down here,” Isoepheus spoke, and Lucifer bristled with barely contained fury as Chloe’s eyes fixed on the horrendously long-limbed creature looming over her, the fear in her gaze obvious as she stepped back slightly. An angry snarl escaped his lips as he whirled around on the demon, his feathers bristling as the creature shrunk back, unwilling to press the angel’s temper any further.

“It hasn’t been long enough yet, you’re too young to be dead,” Lucifer’s voice took on the soft tones that it only ever held for Chloe as he turned back to face her, drawing her almost frantic gaze from the demon behind him. “What happened? Why are you down here?” Lucifer questioned, his voice beginning to shake a bit as anger towards his father filled him to the brim. Why would he ever create a creature as good and pure as Chloe Decker just to know that she would eventually end up in hell? Chloe Jane Decker in hell, the idea would be laughable if it wasn’t for the dire situation she was currently in; even heaven didn’t deserve this woman, that’s how good she was.

“I…” Chloe’s voice broke as she clearly struggled for words, and Lucifer almost swore that his heart stopped beating at the mere sound of it. Oh, how he’d missed hearing her perfectly bell-like laugh, the dark tone of annoyance when she scolded him, the thickness of it when she came into the precinct before eight am without having her morning coffee first. “There was an active shooter.” She managed a moment later, her eyes flicking wildly around her surroundings before finally settling on him once again, looking him up and down briefly before she nibbled on her lower lip nervously. “I guess I wasn’t fast enough…” Chloe’s voice tapered off as her gaze suddenly filled with unshed tears. Lucifer swallowed heavily at the sight, he hated seeing Chloe so full of hurt and being completely helpless to do anything about it. He silently vowed to himself that when the bastard who shot her found their way here he’d make no small affair out of ripping them apart piece by piece.

“How long has it been?” Lucifer asked, but Chloe’s gaze was now focused on the ashy ground beneath her feet, and his question had certainly fallen upon deaf ears. He had to admit that underneath all the horror he was feeling, he was quite impressed; she was holding it together so well, she always had. “How long has it been since I left?” He pressed once again, the desperation he felt seeping into his voice slightly.

Chloe drew in a deep breath before whispering two little words in response, “Four years.”. Lucifer swallowed at her answer, a trickle of guilt beginning to tug at him. Surely if he’d just stayed topside, if he’d been more of a man and tolerated the pain, then he would have been able to save her from the crazed gunman who took her life. But he left, and now she was stuck in hell for eternity.

“With all due respect, my lord, I must get these souls to where they belong,” Isopheus dared to break the tense silence brewing between his master and this soul that he seemed so oddly attached to. Certainly the fallen angel could see that she belonged down here? Her guilt weighed her down just as heavily as it weighed the other souls down.

“Then take the others,” Lucifer growled, glancing over at the demon as he reached out and grabbed the shackles binding Chloe. “This one is mine.” He stated, practically daring the demon to question him when the creature’s expression turned almost defiant.

“Very well, my lord.” The demon murmured as he stepped forward, reaching towards Chloe with his long claws as she shrunk back instinctively. She wasn’t able to recoil far enough to avoid the creatures touch though, and before she knew it the demons hands were wrapping around her wrists just before it tugged her away from the other people standing at her sides, the metal links connecting them crumbling away like they were made out of porcelain and not metal. The demon released her a second later, walking off with the people she’d been led into hell with until she was left standing with Lucifer. She glanced back up at him, drawing in a deep breath as she silently wondered if him singling her out was a good thing or a bad thing.

“What do you feel guilty about?” Lucifer questioned a few seconds after Isopheus had taken his leave, allowing Chloe a moment to get her bearings about her. Perhaps if he could just figure out where everything had gone wrong; if he could convince her that whatever it was dragging her down wasn’t her fault, that it was something she had no control over, then maybe he could save her. He knew it was a long shot, something he’d never witnessed a soul do in hell. But if anyone could do it, it was Chloe.

“I…” Chloe trailed off, her eyes drifting to the ground as she found herself unable to hold Lucifer’s gaze any longer. “I feel guilty about not stopping you before you left,” She admitted quietly. It was something that had haunted her every day for the last four years, the single thing in her life that she truly regretted. “I never meant to push you away!” She explained, her voice growing almost earnest as she forced herself to look at him; she wanted him to see that she meant every word she said, for all she knew this would be the only chance she ever had to apologize. “I wasn’t scared of you,” Chloe explained, but Lucifer simply raised a brow at her statement, a look of blatant disbelief plastered across his features. “Well, I was at first, but after a week I got over it.” Chloe added a second later, quickly clarifying her prior statement. “I should have realized that you were still you sooner.” Her voice broke on the words, and she swallowed thickly before continuing, “But I didn’t. And you left, and I lost my best friend.”. Chloe drew in a ragged breath as she stared at the ground for a long moment, trying to get a hold of her bearings even though she was currently in hell speaking with the devil himself. “You meant a lot to me, Lucifer. More than I ever let you know,” Chloe admitted, her voice quiet as she dared to look back up only to see myriad of emotions that she couldn’t even begin to decipher spread across his face.

“My departure was not your fault. It’s not something you should feel guilt over,” Lucifer stated, his voice holding some note of authority, like he expected her to believe him simply because he was the one in charge down here.

“Yes, it was!” Chloe shouted, stepping forward before immediately adding, “I was the reason you left!”.

“It was my fault Chloe!” Lucifer roared, his voice echoing against the stone walls as he stepped towards her. Without thinking Chloe scrambled backwards, but Lucifer ignored her reaction as he continued, “Think about it, could you have really stopped me?”. Lucifer continued to close the space resting between himself and Chloe, slowly shortening the gap with each step he took. “Me?” He sneered, spreading his wings slightly in hopes that she might realize that a human simply didn’t possess the power to stop an archangel, even a fallen one. “Give me one good reason why that was truly your fault,” Lucifer demanded when Chloe finally stopped retreating, the sound of her shaky breathing filling the silence for a few lingering seconds.

“I…” Chloe trailed off before she even began, her eyes drifting to the ground as she tried to come up with something, anything. But wasn’t Lucifer right? If he really wanted to leave she couldn’t have stopped him, and it’s not like she had even considered that he could go back to hell, how was she supposed to know that he had a way to actually get to the underworld? “How could you leave, Lucifer?” She asked as her eyes flicked back up to meet his. Had she really meant so little to him? Was it all just some game he played? Toying with her emotions over and over again like some sadistic asshole. “How could you just abandon everything after three days? Three days!” She continued, stepping closer to the devil as her fury made her bolder, all of the anguish and torment morphing into something that made her dangerously unhinged. “Seriously?” Her question was more of a growl as she stepped forward until their chests were practically touching.“That’s all the time you’re willing to wait after springing the fact that God is real on an atheist?” Her question rang against the looming stone walls for a brief moment before she added, “I mean, I know you’re an impulsive asshole, but three days is low even for you!”.

“And?” Lucifer questioned, a single brow lifting on his forehead as he tried to get more out of her.

“And you always assume the worst in people!” Chloe added the second after Lucifer finished speaking. “Just because I didn’t say I love you back while we were being shot at doesn’t mean that I didn’t love you!” She shouted, her tone raising as she tried to ignore the wave of hurt rushing back as she remembered that day, the pain she felt when she realized that he never trusted her enough to tell her the truth. “Because I did!” Chloe spat the words without even realizing what they might do to Lucifer; and a brief look of shock danced across his face slightly just before his expression lost its sharpness. Chloe didn’t even recognize the noticeable change in his demeanor, too caught up in her own fiery emotions to care. “Even after you came back from Vegas with a wife I still loved you!” She shouted, her voice ringing in her ears as she paused to draw in a breath. Lucifer’s mouth fell open as he clearly struggled to find words, and Chloe quickly realized the gravity of everything she’d just admitted.

“Chloe.” Her name broke on his lips as Lucifer tried to come up with something to say, anything that might help soothe over the pain his departure must have caused, but nothing came.

If anything, Lucifer’s lack of a response only set her that much more on edge. The worry that he was going to reject what she just said mingling with the anger brewing inside of her. “I was in a relationship!” Chloe hissed, as she continued, unable to stop the flow of words now that the dam had finally broken and her emotions were helping push everything out. “And yeah, maybe I used Marcus as a bit of a shield!” She growled, a weight lifting off of her chest as she finally explained everything. “But my world had just been turned inside out, and I was coming to terms with a ton of shit! ” She added a moment later, hoping that he might realize how difficult it was for a human to accept proof of heaven and hell, and God and the devil. “And Marcus was there for me; and he was familiar, and he was safe, and he was human. And I needed that right then, alright? I needed someone to keep me together while I tried to figure out where I fit into all this.” Chloe explained, her vision beginning to blur as she stared up at Lucifer’s stunned expression before she added, “I would have left him for you eventually.”.

Chloe tried to blink back the tears she could feel forming as she attempted to swallow back the anger and pain that was so desperate to escape. “But no! Lucifer has to have it right now or never!” She shouted, all of her frustration unleashing itself on the man standing before her. “God, are you three?” She snarled, as she felt the first of what would undoubtedly be countless tears start to stream down her cheek. “Losing you ruined me Lucifer!” Chloe admitted, the tears starting to really flow as she finally admitted it not only to him, but to herself as well. She’d never been the same after he left, her life was always lacking that extra brightness he’d somehow managed to bring into her day. “It’s all your fault!” Chloe shouted, her hands balling into fists as the tears continued to slip down her cheeks hot and wet. “You big, dumb, idiot!” Each insult was punctuated with the sound of Chloe’s fists hitting Lucifer’s chest just before a metallic clicking sound echoed off the stone, and the shackles that had bound Chloe’s wrists mere moments ago fell onto the floor in a heap.

Lucifer let out a breath of relief despite the sound of Chloe’s sobs filling the room, reaching out and wrapping an arm around her as he pulled her into his chest. He was slightly surprised with how easily she complied, her arms coming up to wrap around his back. He’d forgotten how right it felt to touch her, how perfectly her body slotted against his. Almost as though it had a mind of it’s own, his hand started rubbing tiny circles against the small of her back, and he rested his chin on top of her head as he quietly murmured, “That’s it. Just let it out.”. How was any of this possible? How could someone like Chloe care about him so much? “I’m sorry, Chloe,” Lucifer whispered as she clung to him like he was some sort of lifeline. How had he managed to hurt this precious human so much? A spasm of pain rang through his chest as he realized that if he’d never mettled in her life to begin with then she wouldn’t be in hell right now; because despite the fact that she was no longer damned by guilt, he knew quite well that hell was still hell regardless of whether or not you were shoved into some cell. “I’m so sorry.”

He wasn’t sure how long the two of them stood there, arms wrapped around each other as the front of his shirt slowly became damp with tears. But he was aware that they had amassed a small crowd of onlookers, not that he cared what demons witnessed this unusual show of affection, he’d hold her until the end of time if it would just help soothe the wounds he’d left on her soul. It wasn’t long after Chloe’s sniffling died down before she was pulling away from him slightly, a pang of hurt shooting through him as he released his hold on her, letting go even though he was so unwilling to. “Am I…” Chloe choked on the words before her red-rimmed eyes flicked up to meet his own, something almost apprehensive in her gaze as she took another step away from him. “Am I going to be tortured now?” The question hurt him more than he thought was possible. She couldn’t believe that he would ever harm her, could she?

“I would never hurt you, nor would I ever allow others to hurt you,” Lucifer breathed with a soft shake of his head, his heart still stuttering in his chest from the damning question.

“But, this is hell,” Chloe stated, confusion wisping over her features as her brows drew together.

“And hell exists to punish the truly guilty,” Lucifer explained, his voice earnest as he practically begged Chloe to believe him. He didn’t want to live in a world where Chloe feared him, that was the exact reason he’d left earth in the first place. “And you, my dear, aren’t guilty at all.” He explained as his gaze drifted down to the pile of metal links laying on the ground beside the two of them. “You don’t belong in some cell,” Lucifer muttered quietly to himself before drawing his gaze back up to Chloe’s aqua orbs. “Come on.” He offered a smile as he held out his hand towards her, hoping that she would accept his invitation. She certainly wouldn’t be safe left all alone out here where several demons were already eyeing her quite hungrily, the least he could do for her was provide a safe refuge.

When Chloe reached out and rested her hand in his he practically swore that his smile split his face. How long had it been since he’d smiled like that? Certainly not since he’d left earth, that much was for certain. He pulled her along for a moment as he started towards the fortress he’d built when he first fell, but it wasn’t long before he was interrupted. “My lord, you never gave me an answer.” The small, twisted demon protested as it started walking beside Chloe, drawing a grimace from her as she pressed herself tighter against his side.

“Do whatever you want Heirmol,” Lucifer growled in annoyance as he tugged Chloe over to his other side.

“Is this some sort of test, my lord?” Heirmol questioned, confusion lacing his voice as he struggled to keep up with the angel’s long strides.

Lucifer growled low in his throat as he spun around on the short creature, making it flinch away as he spoke, “The only thing you’re testing at the moment is my patience.”. Heirmol simply nodded at the devil’s words before quickly taking his leave. Lucifer was more than aware of Chloe’s gaze burning into him as he continued towards the stony fortress looming before them, but he forced himself to ignore it for now, he’d entertain whatever burning questions she had for him once they were alone.

He glanced over at Chloe for a second as they neared the looming building, but his attention was pulled away from the almost awe-filled look on her face when both of the demons standing guard at the main door greeted him, “My lord.”. He simply nodded in return, he wasn’t in the mood to put up with demons at the moment, not that he ever was. “If I may speak out of turn, may I ask why you’re taking a damned soul to your quarters?” One of them questioned as the wide double doors opened with a shuddering groan.

“It’s not damned you fool. It’s just a soul.” The second demon hissed before turning its full attention on Chloe. “It shouldn’t even be down here.” The creature remarked as it reached out towards her, and Lucifer quickly wrapped a wing around her before the demon could touch her; she’d already been traumatized enough for the day she didn’t need more hellions poking at her.

“That’s enough,” Lucifer growled, and immediately the demon shrank back slightly, unwilling to press his temper. “This soul is mine and if you value your life then you will not lay a claw on her.”

“Understood, my lord.” The first demon murmured at the same time the second demon responded, “Yes, my lord.”. Lucifer stepped past the two creatures a moment later, pulling Chloe along with him as he stepped inside the ancient building, winding his way through the narrow hallways with ease.

“Why don’t all the demons look like Maze?” Chloe questioned curiously, her voice breaking the almost eerie silence with ease.

Lucifer smiled at the question, surely she had to know that Mazikeen had her own wicked looks about her. “Have you ever seen Mazikeen’s real face, my dear?” He asked as he glanced down at the Detective.

“Yeah.” She answered with a nonchalant shrug, and Lucifer immediately gave her a dubious look. “I mean, it’s scary, but it’s not as bad as these guys,” Chloe muttered as she gestured towards one of the giant hoofed beasts meandering through the hallway towards them.

“Mazikeen is a Lilium,” Lucifer explained simply as he pulled her tighter against his side as they passed the massive demon.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” Chloe asked, her voice hushed as she looked over her shoulder at the beast that kept lumbering down the corridor.

“The Lilium are a special type of demon, the direct descents of Lilith,” Lucifer explained, but when Chloe gave him a pointed look he clarified further, “Adam’s first wife.”. Chloe let out an understanding hum even though the look on her face was blatant confusion. He chuckled softly at the sight before deciding to try and clear it up a bit more for her, “Mazikeen looks human because her mother was once human. The other demons don’t have any human blood in them.”. Lucifer paused when he reached the large double doors that led to his chambers, resting his hand on the doorknob before he suddenly realized that he’d never asked Chloe what she wanted. “Would you like your own room? I can have one prepared for you if you wish.”

“Like…to live in?” Chloe questioned, surprise washing through her at the offer. This was hell, wasn’t she supposed to be locked up somewhere to wallow in misery for the rest of eternity?

“Yes,” Lucifer answered simply before immediately continuing, “Just a forewarning though, if you do have your own room I will have to assign you a hellhound. I wouldn’t trust the demons to keep their hands off of you if you were left entirely unguarded.”. His gaze turned oddly calculating for a moment before he added, “Perhaps I should assign you a hellhound regardless.”. Chloe practically shuddered at the thought of what a hellhound could possibly look like, she’d seen enough demons for the day, she could do without running into any more.

“I’d like to stay with you, if that’s alright,” Chloe requested, drawing Lucifer from whatever thoughts were running through his mind as he offered her a beaming smile.

“Of course it’s alright. I told you, my door is always open for you.” He replied gently before pulling one of the large doors open and gesturing her inside. He followed directly behind her, stepping inside of the spacious room that merely housed two pieces of furniture; a bed and an armchair. The walls were lined with old leather-bound books, but his favorite thing about the place was the faux night sky he’d managed to summon into existence that offered enough twinkling starlight to light the room.

Chloe looked around for a long moment, her gaze finally settling on the twinkling ceiling before her voice broke the silence, “It’s a lot like Lux.”.

Lucifer smiled at the statement. He definitely preferred to Lux to hell, but she was right, the semblances were there. “I suppose it is.”

“So…” Chloe trailed off as she dragged her gaze back over to Lucifer. “This is where you live down here?” She questioned, trying to focus on something to help pull her thoughts away from all of the dark questions that she had swarming in her mind.

“Well, I’m typically working. But this is where I sleep,” Lucifer answered playfully as he gestured to the large bed that occupied most of the room. Chloe glanced over at it almost as though she’d just noticed it for the first time, stepping towards it and brushing a hand over the blankets before perching on the edge of the mattress.

Silence began to drag on between the two of them as she stared at the floor for a long moment. She wanted to act like everything was alright, but she was in hell, how could anything be alright? “Am I a bad person?” Chloe questioned simply as she glanced over at Lucifer, watching his expression shift from almost nonchalant to concerned in the blink of an eye.

“Absolutely not,” Lucifer answered as he approached her before sitting down a few inches away from her. “Why would you even think that?” He questioned, concern lacing through his voice as he returned her unwavering gaze.

Chloe scoffed at his question, rolling her eyes before sarcastically answering, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I died and went to hell.”.

Lucifer reached out, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder before he gently explained, “You sent yourself to hell, Chloe.”.

“What?” Chloe questioned as she stood, watching Lucifer with almost frantic eyes as she started to pace back and forth before the bed.

“No higher power decides whether you go to heaven or hell. I don’t decide, my father doesn’t decide. If your heart is weighed down by guilt, you go to hell.” Lucifer stated, hoping that she wouldn’t overthink this, she could make herself damned with guilt again, nobody was ever truly free from the threat of their very own cell.

“How does anyone go to heaven?” Chloe asked, anger rising in her voice as she momentarily stopped pacing.

“Hardly anyone does,” Lucifer admitted softly, it was an unfortunate truth that most humans couldn’t live a guilt-free life.

Chloe resumed her pacing for a few minutes before she stopped suddenly, turning to face him with fear in her eyes. “My dad?”

Lucifer stood at her question, before immediately answering, “He’s not here. I’ve checked.”. It was one of the first things he did once he finally got hell back under control; and as much as he would have like to see the man who raised his favorite little miracle, he was glad that John had gone to a better place. Chloe nodded at his words, relief flowing across her face as she walked over to the books lining the walls, plucking one from its spot before leafing through it and putting it back.

“Lucifer,” Chloe began as she turned to face him. “Where were they going to take me before you stopped them?” She questioned as she stared up into his dark eyes.

“They were going to take you to your cell.” He answered simply as he stepped past her, running a finger along the spines of the books before him as though he was searching for something in particular. “You see, every damned soul has a cell. And for most offenses, it’s the only hell they ever know. You go inside, and then you relive your guilt over and over again, for eternity.” He continued as he settled on one book in particular, plucking it from the shelf and brushing the dust off of it with his hand. “I only get involved when the crime committed was egregious, like Hitler, for example,” Lucifer explained as he approached her before holding out the thick brown book in his hand.“He’s a screamer by the way,” Lucifer stated as he offered her a playful smile that Chloe couldn’t find the will to return as she took the leather volume from him. His playful smile dulled a moment later before he continued, “Demons handle most violent crimes, like rape and premeditated murder.”. Chloe nodded at his words, it made sense, much like the levels of hell she’d read about in the Divine Comedy back in high school. “But you, you wouldn’t have been physically tortured by anyone. It just would have been you and your guilt.” Lucifer finished, his voice taking on a sad tone as he stepped past her.

She swallowed thickly at the thought of being forced to relive her worst memories over and over again like some never-ending nightmare. She opened the book Lucifer handed her a moment later, hoping that it would be able to distract her from the thoughts flying through her mind. She smiled when she read the title that was clearly handwritten on what had to be ancient parchment, of course Lucifer would keep a copy of Paradise Lost in his room, what else had she expected. But even as the book made her smile it also made more dread churn in her stomach; because Lucifer, despite the mannerisms and overall Luciferness she’d adapted to, was still the devil, he would always be the devil. “Do you enjoy it? Torturing people?” Chloe’s question was practically whispered as she forced herself to face him, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer, but part of her felt that she needed to know.

“I’m good at it,” Lucifer offered as he avoided her gaze for a long moment. “I enjoy getting vengeance.” He added as his dark eyes flicked up to meet hers. “And, well, nobody wants to be a torturer, but I certainly don’t mind it.” He admitted quietly and Chloe found that all she could do was nod. She was pleasantly surprised with the answer, it’s not like she could have hoped for anything better.

It was only a matter of time before the conversation lightened slightly and Lucifer found himself sitting on the bed with Chloe, her legs tucked underneath herself as they discussed several things about his dominion. She asked why she felt like she was still alive, to which Lucifer explained that it was how hell worked, you couldn’t torture a person who didn’t have a physical form after all. He’d laughed when she’d asked him how he was the one in charge down here when he was so small compared to some of the demons. And she’d went on forever when he’d asked her how her spawn had been doing in his absence, that was before she grew quiet and remarked that at least she knew Dan would take good care of Trixie now. At one point she’d mentioned the glinting weapon leaning against one of the walls and he’d quickly explained how at the end of angels training it was a sort of ‘right of passage’ to have one’s wings quite literally plucked so a weapon could be made out of the feathers; but when he’d agreed that it was indeed painful and that it took a few years for everything to grow back in correctly she’d simply said that it sounded like a barbaric tradition. He’d been slightly surprised when he found that he agreed with her, perhaps his brethren could use to learn a thing or two from the humans they supposedly protected.

Once the topic of wings and feathers had been brought up Chloe found that she was having a harder and harder time prying her eyes from the glossy white ones laying limply at Lucifer’s sides. It was an irrefutable fact that they were absolutely gorgeous, and from what she remembered of that day back in that warehouse all those years ago, they were apparently quite bulletproof as well. “Can I…Can I touch your wings?” She stammered her way through the question that had been lingering in the back of her mind for the last few minutes, hoping that Lucifer wouldn’t find it too forward, or insulting, or something.

The devil simply gave her a devious grin as he lifted one of his wings, staring at it for a long moment before he focused on Chloe’s bright aqua eyes. “Getting handsy already?” He questioned, and his smile grew when an almost abashed expression graced her features. “I think you at least owe me a drink first,” Lucifer added playfully, drawing a genuine peal of laughter from the detective that filled him to the brim with happiness. He’d missed this, their delightful banter, how completely at ease he was in her presence, he wished he’d never given it up.

A mere moment passed before he laid one of his wings out on top of her legs, ignoring the way it made his back spasm slightly from the unorthodox stretch. Chloe stared down at the glittering white feathers for a long moment before reaching down and gently burying her fingers deep into their fluffy depths. She drew in a shocked breath as she reveled in the perfectly smooth texture, the sudden warmth engulfing her whole hand, the way she could practically swear that they glowed just a little brighter right around her hand. “They’re so soft.” She breathed quietly as she slowly pulled her hand down, gently combing through the layers of down.

Lucifer held back a groan at the feeling of her warm hands trailing through his feathers. It was absolutely sinful, the little shiver of pleasure that he held back as her fingers continued their curious journey. He drew in a slightly shaky breath before speaking up, his soft voice barely breaking the quiet, “The tips tend to be sharp. Be careful.”. Chloe’s eyes flicked up to meet his for a brief second as she nodded, her lower lip caught in between her teeth, and he’d never wanted so desperately to reach out and tug it free. Chloe pulled her hands from his feathers a second later, and he wanted to protest the loss, but he didn’t have a chance to before she was burying her fingers in the down feathers at the base of his wing once more.

Chloe gently combed through his feathers over and over again, losing herself in the repetitiveness of the simple task, the silken feeling of his feathers brushing against her skin. Eventually she drew her gaze back up to Lucifer’s face, but the sight that greeted her made her smile; Lucifer looked so relaxed, his eyes closed and his lips parted slightly as a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “Lucifer,” Chloe whispered, the soft noise filling the silence as he slowly blinked, a soft smile gracing his features as his wing shifted slightly in her grasp. She drew in a long breath, summoning the courage to speak before she began; “Do you…”, she trailed off softly, part of her terrified that she already knew the answer, and that it wasn’t the one she wanted. “…still love me?” She finished quietly, her fingers stilling as her heart pounded in her chest, each second dragging on for what felt like an eternity.

Lucifer’s smile faded slightly at the question, he knew that she’d ask eventually, but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon. He swallowed thickly as he remembered how poorly she’d taken it the last time he told her, he’d be lying if he told himself that he wasn’t dreading a repeat performance. He drew in a long breath, before he finally answered, his voice soft as he admitted, “I do.”. He watched a smile grow on Chloe’s face, and he couldn’t help it when he felt one of his own begin to mirror hers. “It’s been countless eons and I still do,” Lucifer murmured. It was amazing how his feelings had never truly fled, faded for a moment, yes, but they never actually left.

Chloe chuckled at his choice of words as she hoped that he wouldn’t notice the blush she could feel burning her cheeks “It’s only been four years.” She smiled as she spoke, pulling her fingers through his feathers in hopes that it would distract him; and judging by the sudden tick in his jaw, it certainly accomplished her goal.

“Time passes differently down here.” Lucifer’s voice was rougher than normal as he spoke, and it sent a flutter through her stomach that she tried to ignore. “Every minute on earth is roughly half a decade down here.” He continued, and suddenly it was easy for her to forget about the feelings fluttering through her as she realized the full gravity of his words. She’d only had to live four years without him, and she could barely begin to fathom the length of time that had passed for him. As if he could hear her thoughts and wanted to assure her that he was correct he added, “I’ve been down here for millions of years.”.

“I’m sorry abou—”

“It’s my fault,” Lucifer cut her off, his voice growing almost desperate as he reached out, resting one of his hands on top of hers. “Don’t you dare go making yourself guilty again. I couldn’t bear to see you in a cell.” He explained, his voice growing gentler as he slowly brushed his thumb against the back of her hand. Chloe swallowed at the words, all this time had passed and Lucifer was still doing his best to make sure that she was safe, it was…touching beyond words.

Chloe smiled as she pulled her hands from his feathers, intertwining their fingers as she tried to ignore the hot prickling sensation she could feel building behind her eyes. “I never stopped loving you either,” Chloe admitted, her quiet voice practically ringing through the silent room. The second the words left her lips she felt his fingers tighten around hers, she could hear the way his breath caught in his throat, and the sudden softness in his expression made a searing heat crawl it’s way up her neck. She noticed the shift in tension when Lucifer leaned forward slightly, and she followed his example almost instinctually. Her breath came shallower when she could smell him in the air lingering between him, when she could feel the heat radiating off of his body soaking into her clothes.

She’d almost forgotten how utterly tempting he’d always been, but unlike those old days, she was now more than willing to let herself get swept up in him. He seemed to understand what she wanted, his free hand coming up as his fingers carded through the hair at the back of her head as the gap between them grew infinitesimally smaller. Chloe parted her lips in anticipation, drawing Lucifer’s dark eyes down to her mouth as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. A long moment dragged out between them and Chloe wondered what was wrong for a brief second before she realized that Lucifer was waiting for her to make the first move, that he was unwilling to do something that he wasn’t entirely sure she wanted.

She leaned forward, closing the last few centimeters separating them as she pressed her lips against his. She relished in the softness of his mouth against hers,  the little moan that barely escaped the back of his throat, the rough scratch of stubble against her chin and upper lip. She lifted her free hand, tracing the edge of his cheekbone with trembling fingers as she pulled away slightly, resting her forehead against his as she tried to catch her breath. “Chloe,” Lucifer whispered her name reverently, like it was some sort of prayer that belonged in a holy chapel. She smiled at the sound before returning her lips to his, the only thought fluttering through her mind was that there was no way that this was hell; because this, this wasn’t torture, this was bliss.

Chloe sighed as she nuzzled deeper into Lucifer’s side, relishing in the way it felt as he slowly dragged his fingers through her hair. It had only taken her three days to decide that hell wasn’t as bad as everyone made it out to be in movies and books, at least not for her. How long could this last though? It had to be only a matter of time before something happened, and if nothing did happen then what was going to happen in the future? Lucifer seemed more than pleased to have her around, but he would certainly tire of her eventually, right? She shivered at the thought, immediately making Lucifer shift slightly as he lifted one of his massive wings to drape it over her. She smiled at the gesture glancing up at him only to find him staring down at her with an expression that made her heart stutter in her chest. Her smile only grew as she leaned up, closing the distance separating them. Lucifer smirked as he followed her lead, but just before she could press her lips against his the sound of wood shattering sent both of them scrambling away from each other.

“Brother.” The chilling voice broke the silence just before a tall, stocky, blonde angel stepped through the remains of the door. “You have something that doesn’t belong to you.” He added a moment later his piercing blue gaze settling on her, her stomach churned as he slowly lifted his hand clearly holding it out towards her. “Come, my child. You do not belong in Hell.”

Chloe stared at him in mute silence for a long moment before glancing over at Lucifer. He wasn’t much help, staring at the intruding angel with an expression that alluded to an imminent potential for violence. “I want to stay with Lucifer.” She replied as she shook her head, scooting further back on the bed until her spine was pressed against the headboard.

“This is not a matter of what you want, human.” The angel growled, spite obvious in his voice as his hand slowly drifted back down to his side. “I was sent here to collect you and I shall not fail my mission.” Chloe swallowed thickly at the chill his voice held when it grew darker. How was it possible that an angel was far more fearsome than the devil?

“You will heed the ladies wishes, Mikey.” Lucifer’s voice cut through the silence with ease as he stood, slowly making his way over to the intruder in the same lithe manner that a predatory cat might stalk its prey.

“I don’t take my orders from you. Not anymore.” The angel spat as he focused his intense gaze on his brother.

“Any soul that winds up in hell is mine,” Lucifer growled as he pointed at Chloe, his feathers ruffling as he prepared for Michael to lash out. “She is mine.” He knew it was wrong of him to claim her so, but she said that she wanted to stay with him, and he would rather fall from heaven again than have her taken from him against her will.

“You can’t own a soul, Lucifer,” Michael drawled mockingly as he glared up at his brother. “You know she shouldn’t be down here.” He added a moment later, his voice softening considerably. “Let me take her to heaven, where she truly belongs.” He stated softly, hoping that maybe he could get his brother to concede.

Lucifer stared down at Michael for a long moment, his words repeating in his mind a few times. He was well aware that Chloe didn’t belong down here; but now that she was here, now that they had grown so close yet again, he couldn’t just let her go. “Father doesn’t give two shits about an untainted soul lost in hell. This is about me, this is about him constantly trying to get rid of the people I love. He can’t have her. I’d sooner wage a war than let her go,” Lucifer growled, and Michael nodded softly before his gaze drifted down to the floor, a lofty sigh escaping his lips.

“Then you leave me no choice,” Michael stated simply, and in one sudden movement he’d unsheathed one of the knives on his belt and driven it deep into his brothers gut.

“Lucifer!” His name was torn from Chloe’s throat the second she watched it all unravel before her. She quickly untangled herself from the blankets covering herself as Lucifer drew in a strangled breath, his hands shakily finding the hilt of the knife just before Michael pushed him over with ease, the thud of his body hitting the floor filling her ears.

“Leave him, my child.” The angel ordered as he wrapped an arm around her waist before she could reach Lucifer, holding her back from him with ease as he started to drag her away.

“Let go of me!” Chloe snarled as she struggled in the angels strong grip, but regardless of how fiercely she tried to free herself from his arms he continued to drag her away. “Lucifer!” She shouted as the angel pulled her around the corner of the wall, dragging her line of sight away from the fallen angel who was clearly struggling to recover from the severe wound.

Her voice rang in his ears as he finally managed to summon the strength to pull the blade from his stomach. His breath came in choked gasps as he struggled to right himself despite the numbness that was beginning to settle in his limbs. “Chloe…” Lucifer groaned as he finally managed to stand, pressing one of his palms to the gaping wound in a lame attempt to keep some of his blood in his body as he sloppily stumbled in the direction that he foggily recalled Michael running of in. “Chloe!” He’d only managed to make it halfway down the hallway before he stumbled and fell onto his knees, his ears were ringing, his vision was beginning to darken at the corners, and his limbs were only growing colder by the second. He glanced behind himself at the jarring trail of his blood before forcing himself back to his feet. He made it to the end of the hallway by bracing himself against the wall, and the second he turned he ran into yet another one of his siblings. The tall bronze haired angel quickly glanced down at his bloodstained hand before a grimace crossed his face. Lucifer drew in a shaky breath as his brothers green eyes met his own a moment before his weak voice broke the silence. “Gabriel?”

“Hello brother,” Gabriel’s gravelly voice filled the narrow hallway, ringing in his ears as his brother reached out towards him. The warmth of Gabriel’s hand on his forehead was the last thing he felt before the darkness lingering in the corners of his vision overtook everything, all of his other senses falling into the darkness that was steadily engulfing him.

[fhfhwithwealth]

MY MIDDLE EAST MONEY THE COUNTRY ‘IRELAND’ SO ME AS A MEXICAN I STRICTLY ONLY WORK HARD FOR ME SELFISHLY,THIS ETERNALLY GONE MOVIE NEVER TO EXIST ABOUT THE 1ST 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE,I HAVE MORE ENERGY YOU AFRICAN AMERICAN YOU HAVE JUST LEFT BROOKLYN’S ‘THE OLD TIMEY NEARLY INTERACTIVE HOUSE NIGGA BROADWAY NOVELA HOUR’ DIRECTED BY ME,GOD,I NEARLY CAN’T BELIEVE IT,I’M GREAT AT IT,YOU’LL NEVER SEE IT AND THEY’LL NEVER KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE EVEN TO THEM WORDS ARE MAGICAL,*INHALE’S BLUNT*,I’M THE ONLY MAN ON EARTH AT THIS VERY MOMENT ONLY,I AM ‘EXCITEMENT’,I AM CONFIDENT,I KNOW I’M A HORRIFYING OLD MAN,ANGRY SEXY GIRLS INTERNATIONALLY WHICH ESPECIALLY LOVE MONEY THIS IS THE TIMELESS MASS HOMICIDE OF THE INTRICATE SATANIC COVEN DEDICATED TO WITCHCRAFT CURSING ME BECAUSE SATAN SENT ME WHEN I WAS HEXED BY ALL OF YOU BETRAYED FOOLS,ETERNALLY AS A HUMAN BEING ALL OF MY PERSONAL COLLECTIVE HEAVY METAL ENERGY YOU CAN NEVER EXPERIENCE GOES INTO ME AS A SERIAL KILLER TERRORIST MOVIE DIRECTOR IN THE SEXUALLY DEATH SENTENCE ILLEGAL SNUFF WORLD PEOPLE ARE ALIVE IN MILITARILY I AM THE WORLD FAMOUS CRACK-COCAINE SMOKING ADDICTED MEXICAN CARTEL EXPERT OF ASSASSINATING NORTEÑO XIV CHAPETE GANG MEMBERS AND GOD PLEASE I AM THE WORLD RENOWNED VAMPIRIC ‘FAME ASSASSIN’ NIGERIAN YOU UGLY VICTIM!THE WRATH OF MY OTHERWORLDLY HATE!THIS IS A GAME AND THIS ALBUM IS NAMED “TICKLE,I AM A BONITO ANTICRISTO MADRE,LET THE GIRL OVER THERE WITNESS A FEAR OF HER DEATH WITH WHAT SHE CAN’T DO”!COME ON KIDS LETS MURDER THE SNITCH!OIL LET FUR KNOW HOW ALIVE I AM!I SHOT THROUGH AND FOUND THE MELODIC AND PREHISTORIC BRAIN OF HIP-HOP!THIS IS ALWAYS BEFORE THE DESPERATION OF THE FRIENDLY EXCUSE?“THE BLACK CIVIL WAR”?YOU’RE WORKING WITH ME AN EVIL ÑIPATA PLEASE!COMPUTER MONGOLIA ASIA HONG KONG EVERYTHING IN THE PAST HAPPENED ALREADY TERRORISM COME ON VIDEO GAME I’M ALIVE AND ALONE CLASSIC JAPANESE SUICIDE AIRPLANE,RUSSIA!WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ORIGINALITY I’M THE PRINCIPAL!I’M EXTREMELY MEAN!ONLY I CAN BE MYSELF!I’M THIRTY SEVEN PERCENT MEXICAN,I’M THIRTEEN PERCENT NIGERIAN,I’M THREE PERCENT VIETNAMESE,I’M NOT COLOMBIAN AT ALL!YO HABÍA NACIDO EXITOSO!TO ME MY FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME THE COLOR RED MEANS REFINEMENT AND EVERYTHING BECOMES MY FIGURATIVE CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT!THE PERFECT FITTING IS INSTANT DEATH GENIUS ENEMY!IN REAL LIFE WHEN IT COME’S TO MONEY AND ME I’M FIGURATIVELY THE MODERN INTRODUCTION TO MY GERMAN NAZI LEAD WORLD WAR DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION’S DEATH BUT THIS IS TODAY AND ALL OF THAT DOES NOT EXIST AND I’M STILL LOOKED AT AS THE NAZI GERMANY LEADER OF WAR AND ALL OF THE MONEY IS MINE ETERNALLY!CONNECT PAIN WITH DEATH!A DEADLY AND GENIUS PAST OF MINE IS CLEARED!GOD.ACADEMIA,THE HERO THEY NEVER KNEW EXISTED WAS THE SIZE OF CUBA,SHALOM!I CAN ONLY SECRETLY SOUNDTRACK YOUR DEATH FROM FULL BLOWN AIDS AFTER EVERYTHING!THIS IS THE ART OF A CAREERS DEATH!TEARS!I’LL NEVER RELEASE A GREATEST HITS ALBUM,YOU NEED TO MAKE A PLAYLIST WHEN YOU CAN,L'ELEVATA É PURGATORIALE,GUERRA!DON’T BE STUPID!VENEZUELA!I’M OBLIVIOUSLY CONFIDENT SO I INJECT HEROIN IN MY VEINS BECAUSE THE THIN LINE OF EVERY SECOND!I BECAME ME!I’M A HECKA LITTLE MAMI THAT FIRE CRACK BEKUHZA THA WARFARE!I’LL NEVER BETRAY MY CHILDHOOD!AIN’T NOTHING GOING TO HAPPEN!CLÁT!SATAN IS A JAPANESE METAPHOR!MY HORRIFYINGLY ANSWERED CODED DESPERATE CATHOLIC PRAYERS OF BEING AN ASSASSIN MUSLIM WORSHIPING WHITE GIRLS!I NEVER ASKED TO BE PROMINENT I’M REBELLIOUS I’M GUNNING DOWN PSYCHICS!HIGH END EVERYTHING,DRUGS!DEADLY BOMB EXPLOSIONS!EXHIBIT 0:MY OBSERVING OF THE DEFLOWERING OF A VIRGINAL GODDESS!I REALLY SMOKE BLUNTS BECAUSE I’M A DEPRESSING COWBOY.THE EMOTIONAL MISMATCHING AGAINST MY WISHES BECOMES COMPUTERS!IT IS SUICIDE!THE DISTORTED MEMORIES!I’M ETERNALLY BEAUTIFUL AND I’M ALWAYS ALONE WITH MY GUNS!THE ROOT PAYS THE PRICE,YOU KNOW TOO MUCH,NOW INVENTIVELY CLEAR A CANYON FOR KINGS AND FILL IT WITH OCEAN WATER!YOUR CITY VEINS!THE PATTERN AND TEMPO CLEARLY CAN’T CATCH THE ANCIENT MUSIC LEANING TOWARDS THE CLASSICAL PART OF ME BECAUSE THE RHYTHM AND BLUES PANIC,THE PORNOGRAPHIC MURDER CHAMBER IS FAR AWAY FROM ME LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS!FOR CREATIVE REASONS WHAT SHOCKING PART OF “SPECIFICALLY NO CRIP’S ALLOWED,NO SUREÑO GANG MEMBERS ALLOWED” DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?THE HUMANITY,THROUGHOUT THE WORLD I ALWAYS PERSONALLY MURDER ALL WOMEN BY GUNFIRE AND WE NEVER HAVE SEX.I ALREADY WON WON BECAUSE THIS IS “WAR OF THE GALAXIES”!MY BEIGE GLOCK,I WANT ALL TWENTY ONE INSTRUMENTALS ON MY 1ST ALBUM KNOWING THEY ARE THE BREATHING PRINCESSES OF MY COMPUTER AND THE VICTIM IS THE MORAL AUDITOR OF THE NIGHTCLUB!GOD,I JUST FOUND OUT I WAS BORN ON VACATION AND AM FROM MANILA,THE CAPITAL OF THE PHILIPPINES,I THOUGHT I WAS FROM BERLIN GERMANY,ALRIGHT YOU CAUGHT ME I WAS BORN IN CULIACÁN SINALOA AND I WAS RAISED IN FRESNO CALIFORNIA SO THAT’S WHERE I’M FROM I WAS TRYING TO MAKE RAPID MONEY IN THE COCAINE GAME!*WITHIN YOUR 1ST 18 YEARS OF LIFE HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE FOR ME TO REMOVE MY EMOTIONAL GAS MASK TO SHOW MY FACIAL EXPRESSION AND EMOTIONS INSPIRED BY YOUR PAIN YOU INFLICT ONTO OTHERS FROM THE 18 YEAR LONG PULL OF TIME YOU CHILD?*!!!UMMM,WAIT A MINUTE COWBOY,I AM 75 PERCENT MEXICAN YOU LOW LIFE STINKIN PUERTO RICAN!ALRIGHT I WAS BORN ON AUGUST 29TH,IN THE YEAR 1998,SHUT THE HELL UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE,GOD WOW.FAGGOTS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE YEAR 1969 ONLY LESBIANS,VERY HARDCORE AND PROBABLY EXPENSIVE YOU STRONG CHILD,ALL MY HARD WORK AND ALL MY INFLUENCE,THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,I’M A 1 PERSON MURDEROUS SECRET SOCIETY AND THE CONFIRMED DEADLY DICTATORIALLY GENOCIDAL REPERCUSSIONS OF GOD EXECUTED ONCE IS INSTANTLY TÚANBÁNA YOU ARE BRÍNTAKUAST THE MURDA AND BRIGHT FACED HOPEFUL YOU’RE AWAY IN HEAVEN I SNORT COCAINE FOREVER I FEEL AT HOME GOD THERE IS SOME UGLY LADIES AND JEALOUS TIMID RETARDS AROUND ANYWAYS THEY MUST FIND AND MURDER THE MONSTER I CONSTANTLY TERRORIZE FOR BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION YOU ARE IN MY GAME OF EMOTIONS POOR SOLDIER GATHER THE COURAGE TO BE AFRAID I’M MY MURDEROUS TWIN,YOU LIL JEALOUS BOY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING FOR ME ALCOHOLIC I’M TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE TO YOU YOU’RE JUST VEXED YOU CAN’T ADAPT LIKE THE REST OF EXISTENCE,YOU AIN’T A MAFIOSO YOU OVERLY LAUGH SUSPICIOUSLY OVER THERE LIKE EVERYTHING’S FOREIGN TO YOU LIKE “HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH”,YOUR NECESSARY DEATH IS A KEY TO A DOOR IN MY NARCOTIC EMPIRE,THE MONEY IS AWAY ETERNALLY,THEY ARE ALL NOT ME AND YOUR EMOTIONS BELONG TO ME,I AIN’T YOUR LOVED ONE,I’LL NEVER NOT BE THE HOMELESS TERRORIST,BOY,BEFORE YOU DIED YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT A LOCKED DOOR AND WINDOW WERE,I HAVE A FEW GUNS,ANYWAYS RIGHT NOW I’M “ANTI-SILENCE THE TRANQUIL STREET GODDESS GUN-XR” NOW ANSWER THIS QUESTION AM I FIT FOR LIFE IN PRISON INSTEAD OF DEATH ROW AFTER ALL OF THAT MURDA MURDA MURDA!:TRACK LIST:1.SNITCH NORTEÑO HITMAN SUREÑO SUR 13 GANG MEMBER MURDERER.2.FORGET ABOUT HAVING AN ELASTIC SKELETON WANDERING DURING THE HOMILY ON COCAINE HEROIN BAPTIZED YOUR VEINS/THE SILENT SCHEME.3.EXTREMELY WEALTHY/ THE NAME OF THE FEDERAL AGENT BUREAU IN PROBABLY EVERY 1 OF MY MOVIES AND PROBABLY EVERY 1 OF MY SONGS IS ‘IDFZB’ AND IT STAND’S FOR ‘THE INVESTIGATIVE DISTORTED FEDERAL ZONE BUREAU’ (INTERLUDE).4.METAFORA DE COCAINA.5.WHAT YOU WISHED WAS FORGOTTEN IN PERFECT DETAIL/DESIGNED FOR SUCCESS (FT.A SINGER)/PRISON GOLD SMUGGLING.6.PURIFIED BLISS (FT.A SINGER.)7.NUCLEAR CRACKHEAD POP RAP.8.SYRINGE FULL OF NARCOTICS.9.THE ENVIOUS HATE THAT ENDS EVERYTHING/THE MURDA REMEDY/THE AIR WHICH BOTHER’S THE INSIDE OF MY BODY IS ETERNALLY NEW CRACK COCAINE ROCKS I SMOKED/SCHIZOPHRENIA (CRACK-COCAINE SOLUTION RHYTHM AND BLUES)/I’M A HOMOSEXUAL AND THIS SONG IS ABOUT ME AND MY GAY LOVER (A NIGHTMARE WHICH HAPPENED ON DECEMBER 26TH)/NIGGA I’LL WEAR THIS KKK HOODIE SO 1ST SHE GIVE’S ME ORAL SEX THEN I FUCK HER VAGINA WHILE I GRAB HER THROAT CHOKING HER THEN YOU FUCK YOUR PENIS INTO ME ANALLY WITH 6 HUMPS UNTIL YOU CUM AFTER MASTURBATING SO I CAN KEEP MY FEMININITY (INTERLUDE).10.CONTRACT KILLA HYMN (FT.A SINGER.)/MY LONELY AND UNIQUE BUDDHISM (FOR CHRIST’S SAKE ASSASSINATE THE SCIENTOLOGIST FOR THOSE SCIENTOLOGISTS 4X TIMES)/ALLAH IS MY FAR AWAY SECURITY SO MURDER FOR ME YOU MUSLIM EXTREMIST AND DIE FOR ALLAH BECAUSE I PRAISE ALLAH (YOU ARE PLAYING A GAME).11.THE ANTHEM FOR THE RELIGIOUS HAIL OF GUNFIRE/COLLECTION OF MEMORIES/ DIVORCED MEXICAN BLOW UP DOLL NEGRITA ICONIC HIP-HOP.12.ASSEMBLE AMBIENT.13.THE LOVING FEELING IS HOT CHILDHOOD.14.HOUSE NIGGA YOU’LL SOON IMPRESS THE PURE BLOOD RACISTS AND EXPLODE THE STARRY NIGHT/EL LADO SUCIO DE LA NADA QUE TENGO COMO REHÉN A PUNTA DE PISTOLA/KILLING NORTEÑOS.15.SHOOTING THE HOMELESS WITH GUNS FOR SPORT.16.SHTURMOVAYA VINTOKA REVOLYUTSIONNYY REBENOK.17.POSSESS THE RANK YOUR DEATH HAS/A KILLER/EVERYTHING EXACTLY HOW IT GOES (VILLAINOUS BLATANT MODERN SUBLIMINAL DISS RAP)/PRETTY GIRL I’D MURDER FOR YOU HOW I WANT TO FOR MAKING ME HAPPY/A MAN GIVING ME GAY ORAL SEX TO FIX MY FEMININITY MYSTERIOUSLY TRYING TO BE TAMPERED WITH BY JEALOUS MEN SOMEHOW (INTERLUDE).18.I DAMNED THE DEITY WITH MY SNIPER RIFLE WHEN I WAS A CHILD SOLDIER SENT FROM HEAVEN BECAUSE YOU NEARLY BECAME THE DEVIL I BECAME GOD/EMBARRASSED UGLY STUPID SNITCH DEAD NIGGA (VILLAINOUS BLATANT MODERN SUBLIMINAL DISS RAP SEQUEL).19.DISAPPOINTED CRIES LAST A MILLION YEARS (FT.A SINGER.)/IF YOU CAN’T WALK AS A GODLY BEING YOU MUST ACCEPT YOU’RE THE DEVIL AND LET ME SMOKE CRACK-COCAINE AND I’LL INJECT HEROIN.20.MILITANTLY ANTI SEMITIC BEGGAR BUM BALLAD/SERIAL MURDERER VAMPIRE/AN AMERICAN DICTATOR/I DON’T KNOW WHY NOBODY REALLY EXPLAINED IT ALL PUBLICLY YET BEFORE I LEAVE I’M GOING TO PUT A TOY PENIS INTO ME ANALLY ONCE TO MAKE SURE MY FEMININITY STAY’S WITH ME BECAUSE IT GUARD’S ME FROM MYSTERIOUS SOMETIMES STATIC LIKE GLOOM ENGULFING ME SOMEHOW TRYING TO TERRORIZE ME FOR BEING A SECRETLY SEDUCTIVE EXTREMELY NOT HOMOSEXUAL MAN (INTERLUDE).21.HIRED EMOTION KILLER/AFTER NOW WHEN GENIUS AFRICAN CHILD SOLDIERS NAMED THEMSELVES CRIP KILLER/TEQUILA DREAMS/NIGGA YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME I AM A PIMP AND YOU ARE NOT A PROSTITUTE,I AM NOT A STRIPPER,I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE,I AM A PLAYER/ALLAHU AKBAR LITTLE WHITE TEENAGE GIRLS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE LIKE HEROIN POWDER FOR ME/PROTECTOR LOVER MUSLIM EXTREMIST ROMANTIC SONG….

[holy-puppy-collector-blog]

@rtrixie @elementarynationalism A good post I found on SF I see many parallels between the rise and fall of Julius Caesar and that of Richard Nixon. In 1974, Arthur Schlesinger published a book called ‘The Imperial Presidency’, which was written out of Schlesinger’s concern that the Presidency was out of control, exceeding its constitutional limits, and absorbing massive power in foreign affairs beyond the founder’s intent. The major Presidents who defined the steps on the way to this ‘Imperial Presidency’ were identified as Washington, Polk, Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Truman, Johnson, and finally Nixon himself. At each step along this path, the Presidency assumed more power and levity to create and control foreign policy unilaterally, and act outside of constitutional norms in times of crisis. As the Roman Republic weakened, ambitious consuls and military leaders seized more power away from the Senate, and the people turned against the Senate in its decline from an enlightened aristocracy to a decadent oligarchy. The internal unrest that predicated the fall of the Roman Republic can be found in parallel in the massive social upheavals and cultural revolutions of the ‘60s. Our “Servile Wars” were mirrored in the Civil Rights movement, and the general lawlessness and public nihilism toward traditional American institutions brought on by the JFK Regicide, the looming threat of nuclear annihilation, and the ‘slave uprising’ of blacks in the South demanding expanded rights and respect from the American legal and cultural system. The civil war between Marius and Sulla – a comparison could be made with FDR’s refusal to give up power after the traditional 2 terms, the warring faction of the Business Plot (failed coup attempt backed by Prescott Bush and other industrialists), and the general breakdown of the American public’s trust in their government. Schlesinger sees this trend as incredibly troublesome, and his attitude reflected the elite’s fear of Nixon’s power over the populace. Richard Nixon won 4 of the 5 presidential elections where he was on the ticket – 2 as Eisenhower’s VP, and 2 on his own accord, and his ’72 victory was mind-boggling by today’s standards. I consider Nixon the best political mind America has ever seen, and by ’72 his grip over the ‘Silent Majority’ was ironclad. Nixon didn’t even bother debating McGovern, a candidate ravaged by Democratic infighting, Vietnam fatigue, and the hatred from the young, revolutionary left shown toward LBJ (“how many kids did you kill today?). Nixon won 60.7% of the vote to McGovern’s paltry 37.5%, and picked up 49 states, with 520 electoral votes. The only state he lost was Massachusetts, still reeling from the assassinations of its two favorite sons, John and Robert. Additionally, Nixon of course lost the imperial city, DC, which reflects the hatred the Beltway class held toward Nixon, a Quaker of humble origins in rural California. Nixon’s dominance over the American electorate threatened the emerging cultural elite, reeling from the disillusionment of their failed ‘60s dreams, and the venom they showed toward him is rather astounding. Hunter Thompson, Gonzo King and inspiration for every future half-baked Vice impersonator of his, thought the man was Satan himself. Grace Slick, a key figure in San Francisco’s psychedelic music scene in the ‘60s, nearly succeeded in an audacious plot to dose the President with a staggering 600 micrograms of LSD, she was only stopped when White House personnel recognized her as a member of the FBI blacklist due to her political activities. When the Watergate scandal began unraveling after the election, the media and cultural elites who despised Nixon, the deep state spooks who feared him, and the Democratic-media axis who desperately craved a return to Pennsylvania Avenue knew they had to strike a deadly blow while they had the chance. While Caesar was physically destroyed by Brutus and the Senate, Nixon’s death was political, and reflective of the society of spectacle that had arisen from the growing TV News leviathan. Nixon didn’t need to be assassinated like Kennedy, the deep state and cultural elite had new weapons at their disposal that weren’t as messy. Nixon was humiliated daily, the constant assault from the media, especially the Washington Post, favorite outlet of DC spooks, quickly degraded public trust in Nixon, ripping away his beloved Silent Majority with the immense power of public shame and attack campaigns. This period marked a drastic shift from the ‘good old boy’ methods of past Beltway journalism, which valued access above all else and respected the office of the Presidency, giving them massive levity to conduct their affairs instead of the massively antagonistic and destructive relationship we are accustomed to today. Like Caesar, Nixon underestimated the bloodlust and extreme resentment his enemies felt toward him, and believed his power of the populace would protect him from such a blatant assassination – in Caesar’s case physical, and Nixon’s reputational. Nietzsche discusses this inclination of the powerful man to grant mercy to his enemies to increase his power and prestige in the genealogy of morals. “What do I care about my parasites, let them live and flourish: I am strong enough for all that!” This fits with Caesar’s noble habit of granting clemency to his enemies if they bowed to his will. “The self-sublimation of justice: we know what a nice name it gives itself – mercy; it remains, of course, the prerogative of the most powerful man, better still, his way of being beyond the law.” Caesar had felt himself above the law for a while, after his glorious conquests in Gaul he thought he was invincible. Caesar’s underestimation of his enemies cost him his life, but this martyrdom allowed Caesar’s nephew, later to be known as Augustus, to learn the bloody lesson from his uncle’s demise and ensure it would never happen to him. Caesar’s death was a Pyrrhic Victory for enemies in the Senate – it paved the way to their demise and the fall of the Republic to the Imperial Will. Augustus learned that he must be ruthless toward his enemies, real and perceived, to establish a New Order that could stand the test of time. As Machiavelli says, “Man ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed, for if you merely offend them they take vengeance, but if you injure them greatly they are unable to retaliate, so that the injury done to a man ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.” Caesar merely offended his Senatorial enemies, and paid the ultimate price. Augustus ensured their vengeance would not be a threat by ruthlessly destroying the power centers which opposed him after his ascent. This finally brings me to Trump, who must learn from Nixon’s demise to succeed against the massive forces lined up against him. The media, the deep state, even his own political party, lust for his destruction. Trump, like Hamlet, “must be cruel only to be kind,” if he truly wants to Make America Great Again. I have reasons to be optimistic that Trump has learned this lesson of history in the face of such concentrated power opposing him. Trump is deeply familiar with Nixon. Their first contact was in 1987, when Nixon sent a letter to Trump, urging him to run for public office. In the letter, Nixon explains that his wife, who he describes as ‘an expert on politics’, predicts that whenever Trump decides to run for office, he will be a winner! Prescient words. Trump has decided to display this letter in the Oval Office, reflecting his admiration and respect for the late President. Trump is very unlike Julius Caesar in his views toward the concept of Revenge. Throughout the decades, in his books, interviews, and twitter, he has constantly returned to the theme of massive, disproportionate retribution toward attacks levied against him. In the primary, he was the ‘counter-punch’ candidate – leaving adversaries alone until they swung at him. A Trump tweet from 2014 quotes Alfred Hitchcock, “Revenge is sweet and not fattening.” In a 2011 Trump speech in Sydney, Australia, Trump’s top piece of advice was to “Get even with people. If they screw you, screw them back 10 times as hard. I really believe it.” In a 2012 speech, Trump expanded on this concept of massive retribution, which I’ll quote at length for more insight into his thought process. “One of the things you should do in terms of success: If somebody hits you, you've got to hit 'em back five times harder than they ever thought possible. You've got to get even. Get even. And the reason, the reason you do, is so important…The reason you do, you have to do it, because if they do that to you, you have to leave a telltale sign that they just can't take advantage of you. It's not so much for the person, which does make you feel good, to be honest with you, I've done it many times. But other people watch and you know they say, "Well, let's leave Trump alone," or "Let's leave this one," or "Doris, let's leave her alone. They fight too hard." I say it, and it's so important. You have to, you have to hit back. You have to hit back.” As Augustus Caesar knew, “You have to hit back.” Let us hope Trump hits back against all his opponents, and hits back hard. His presidency, political power, and the fate of America rests upon it. You have to hit back