#if you knew of my sins
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Would you still love me
If i told you
Every terrible thing i've done
If i tell you and you act no different
I will not know what to do with me
I know every terrible thing i've done
And i can never forgive myself
Everything you tell me you love me
I feel the urge to tell you
Of all the wrong i have done
I need to look into your eyes
And know you know my atrocities
know you are willing love me despite
#writers and poets#original poem#poetry#poem#writers on tumblr#i hope u like it#creative writing#poets on tumblr#original writing#writing#would you still love me#if you knew of my sins#how can i be worthy of your love#when you dont know of the evil i have done#poems and poetry#poems on tumblr#poetry and poems#for lovers#connection#original poetry#poetry and prose#ghost
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Let me assign you an affection language.
A Knife Called Grief You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.
[yoinked from iobartach]
#[inch resting]#ooc#dash game#[reminds me of a post I saw about Miguel's infidelity-- I can't find it anymore but basically it boiled down to#his betrayal of Gabriel and Xina being a sort of betrayal of himself. Now the OP was also trying to make sense of the comic's writing as it#also mischaracterized Xina (per their words)‚ but since Miguel knew Xina since they were young and she protected him from bullies‚ and#Miguel grew up shielding Gabriel from their parents‚ his betrayal and subsequent estrangement from them for someone new‚ someone his brothe#loved‚ and also apparently supported Alchemax whereas Xina was much quicker to criticize it‚ can be seen as Miguel trying to shove down the#vulnerable‚ hurt‚ HUMAN side of himself to make way for the idealized version he tries to protect as a corpo snob.#Which is an interesting viewpoint considering post-forcible-genome-splicing‚ comics!Miguel was also desperate to prove his humanity. He see#himself as an abomination‚ a freak. So how do we reconcile this with movie!Miguel‚ who we admittedly don't know much of his mental state#other than he is basically having The Worst Fucking Day Of His Life Constantly due to grief and leading hundreds of Peter Parkers?#I guess in my own characterization‚ Miguel is trying desperately to shut down that vulnerability‚ BE the inhuman juggernaut‚ the leader‚#but at the same time time‚ esp post-BTSV‚ is so ridden by his mistakes and sins and endless list of shortcomings‚ ALONG WITH the grief for#his daughter that he doesn't seem keen to heal from‚ that he's simultaneously trying to REconnect with that. Figure out what and who he is#outside of work‚ outside of Canon Events‚ outside of everything that Miles took and shook upside down. But that's difficult when#you're so determined to shut that down too‚ huh? Spider-Man can't do both. Not this time. Miguel is going to have to learn one day that he#needs to allow himself to FEEL human instead of constantly shutting it down or drowning it out. Maybe then he'll BE human again too.]#[🍻 if you read this far; I fear this was largely incoherent]
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Re-design of my un-named Beetlejuice OC from back when I was thirteen
Original Reference under the cut:
#my art#beetlejuice#toonjuice#beetlejuice cartoon#beetlejuice fanart#beetlejuice movie#procreate#I don’t really make OC’s for fanwork anymore… but the ones I had when I was younger almost never got named 🥲#When I first made her I really really liked her- and her story was very self indulgent#Looking at it now is almost way too weird for me… (and honestly a little unintentionally homophobic???)#Basically she was one of the girls from Dante’s inferno… except she got kicked out because she only had attraction to girls#(This was BEFORE I suspected that I was a lesbian— mind you.)#Yeah but anyway she went to the Deetz/Maitland house looking for a place to stay but drove everybody crazy#She was super flamboyant- loved everything pink n fluffy- and was well meaning but did more harm than good trying to do nice things for the#She had this one sided crush on Delia??? Like musical Beej and Adam except less perverted and more flirty/sappy? I was an odd kid- okay? 🥲#Anyway… the old design didn’t really do much to show off her personality… so I ended up upheaving the whole thing#It was okay for what I knew at the time- but I know what I was trying to say then and now I have the knowledge to say it better#Also— the reason I gave her horns here is so silly.#When I was younger I was in a Christian school where I wasn’t allowed to draw witches-ghosts-demons-etc.#So even though I based her on the Dante girls… I refused to give her horns because I thought that was ‘too sinful’#I even remember having so much guilt while looking for references of the Dante workers#I couldn’t even look for more than five seconds!#Anyways… she really pushed the boundaries for me at the time and it’s fun to see how I’ve changed and grown since then.
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Woomy…?
#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl bishops#cotl goat#Splatoon#I Need to draw more scenes from my fic…. I want to digitalize this but school is hectic lately 😔#and then… …… self indulgence……#I’ve been playing a lot of Splatoon lately and started thinking about . Splatoon COTL .#And I’ve gotten surprisingly far in this au !! thing#Bishop Splatoon universe designs go#nyways#Leviathan……#bro’s family kinda sucked 😔 except Baphomet (but that didn’t quite work out either)#also cause it kinda cuts out the text on it says:#Oh my Kin I know you despise me so. But if you knew the sins I’ve committed to live? Would you still believe me a villain or an equal?#and I saw an old quote in my photo album earlier today….. hmgmgh
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(don't fear) the reaper into temperance is canon change my mind
#just completed The Only Ending to this game for the second time such a shame theres just the one#this time however#on hard with literally nothing but johnny's malorian and the tetratronic rippler mk.5 (both upgraded to tier 5++)#level 60 with 39 max ram and a 400 something armor rating#no consumables no buffs and didn't activate overclock a single time we raw dogged that shit#i did it twice for good measure i beat smasher then was like yknow what lets take that from the top and reloaded my save#anyway it just makes the most sense IMO#like for streetkid v????? streetkid v with an 85% johnny meter and the most rancid survivors guilt of all time?????#(guilt mostly re: the heist and king of cups but i think king of wands could apply if u squint)#(not pentacles or swords tho cause those both trigger the tower which isn't real and can't hurt you)#cp77#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand#v cyberpunk#wait another reason i love temperance (ONLY if v makes the choice) is while we all love the j-man#he is a terrorist who is responsible for the deaths of HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS#(yes thats right go read the night city holocaust wiki page)#HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE#but while we love him your honor he did absolutely do that shit so we're goin for a plea deal which is#that he is cursed to wear the face of the person who sacrificed their life for him when they both knew he didn't deserve it#i dont see it as him getting to live i see it as him being forced to stare into the face of his sins every time he looks in a mirror#there's more to it than that but yeah he's in real actual hell now its some mythic classic greek shit and i fuckin love it
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ruminating on 'the vees died despondent nobodies' thoughts
velvette interrogates vox after she hears him give various conflicting and bombastic accounts on air. a selection of these include: blew his brains out on live television, administered the death penalty for killing his "bitch wife," a tragic accident involving two shetland ponies, dubiously legal iranian yogurts, and a whole lot of cocaine. the actual cause was shockingly ordinary- a heart attack in front of the television, alone, his corpse only recovered after two weeks passed. he was watching a game show and his last mortal regret was never even learning who won, because he died during the commercials.
#vox#velvette#haven't settled on what i think is a satisfying cause of death for velvette#running on 'a fight that escalated with her shitty then-boyfriend while trying to film something'#mostly bc i'm thinking of her recounting this to vox and telling him the thing she most regrets is that he was ugly as sin#and now his mugshot is permanently stapled to news of her death#but i'm not mega attached to this or anything#(the thing she ACTUALLY most regrets#is that the people she knew probably took more interest in how she died than who she was alive#that the most notable thing about her was something she didn't even do#and even the tragedy of her death to those who heard about it is in how bitterly commonplace it is)#wait this is actually thematically perfect. because in hell she's STILL in some ways defined by her proximity to two men#/yes/ her followers and fans are captivated by her separate from voxval. but she's inescapably regarded through the lens of the vees#both in the 'what's the niche velvette fills in the vees' sense but also through her relationships to val and vox#she's velvette. but she's never Just Velvette. she is always One Of The Vees#who she is to vox and valentino is what Velvette(tm) is#she can play every role to the public. their beleaguered 3rd wheel. their Sane Friend. partner (business). partner (romantic/sexual)#how do i fit that alongside:#'the people of hell like velvette because she's unfiltered. raw. authentic. mean girl who says what she wants w/o caring'#with a hammer and a lot of grit#i do think that's usually what she thinks of herself. at least consciously and these actually aren't mutually exclusive#you know how i said i'm not super attached to this backstory. whoops i have convinced myself of it!#if not the above specifics the 'the most remembered thing about velvette's life is how she died' angle#as it turns out this post is actually about velvette. i need to think about my evil babygirls Themes#i had something to say about vox and gameshows but thats enough footnotes for now i think
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"A little incest in your gothic literature is good for the soul!" -- Things I say at 2 AM while talking with my mom about Flowers in the Attic
#'how would your parents react if they knew you read--'#my sibling in sin who do you think MADE me into a sad little goth child
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you ever wonder if the Glamrocks's face tracking acts up when they look at Glamrock-Freddy, like they'll look at his face, and the recognition will register as Freddy, but their systems for whatever reason or another think that there is a face overlapped on Freddy's do you think they see two small squares next to him, at his side, roughly child sized, but no one is physically there.... right...?
#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddy’s#glammike#crying child#elizabeth afton#i wanted to allude something to william but idk#would the glamrocks go into the sinkhole? maybe#maybe next to glamrock freddy alongside the weird overlapping face he has and the two kid height faces#there is a face tracking box next to him...standing#remember that post about the ghost hunters comin to the pizza plex? maybe the weird face tracking happens too...#im watching garret watts and Andrew's constant facial tracking anomalies inspired this post lol#anyways i really like the thought that despite being the most friendly Glamrock; Freddy has this......feeling about him#his AI was made just this year! programmed with cutting edge and top of the line technology!#then....then why does he go off script sometimes? why does he say things that wasn't programmed show dialogue?#how does he know about Mr. Afton? the killer from the 80's who committed heinous deeds?#Why does he speak as if he knew him personally? if his AI is just pulling stuff from online; Why does he speak with resentment about him?#IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT!!#like just because this franchise has gotten more neon and sugery than ever; remember; lights can be blinding and sugar causes cavities#idk what that means just omg there is more horror potential than you think in the SB era of games if you look hard enough#off topic but back to freddy being a sweetie pie i think that its funny okay#freddy sasses adults okay okay but he isnt mean to kids okay maybe michael just idk; MATURED? maybe he just got some whimsy mkay?#listen if i was forced to be in a perpetual cycle of atoning for my own and my father's sins i would find any and all silver linings mkay#aw yeah this is sick i get to be a freddy mercury inspired glamrock bear WOOO#granted michael was probably tired of animatronic bands and pizza by fnaf 6 but ykkkkkkkk it.....could be worse? he could be his dad lmao#anyways headcannon michael listend to freddy mercury and this is the equivalent of cosplaying him scott told me so (trust)#tag rambles! theyre fun lol
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It's weird how Hawks went straight from "Dabi" to "Touya", like they are on a first name basis or something. Like I know the whole analysis of it is probably that using his real name is to show that he sees him as more than a villain now because of Dabi's ties with Endeavor
But I'm just thinking, specifically, what does this mean for if Dabi and Hawks ever interact again? Is Hawks just going to call him Touya now?
#im so excited to see if these two interact again#the dynamic of it all?#'we pretended we were friends but actually we were betraying each other and we never believed each other in the first place anyway#and you're the reason my wings aren't as powerful as they were and you left scars behind#and for some reason you revealed your real name to me and you knew mine??#and now that my hero wants to atone for his past sins i want to help him#which unfortunately means helping you too'#like?? wtf i need to know what is going to happen if they even step into the same room again#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#bnha spoilers#dabi todoroki#hawks#mettys posts#metty posts
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i’m sorry for slandering you, foreigner’s god. i didn’t appreciate you enough, bastard child of the album as described by your father. you went “the perfect creature rarely seen since some liar brought the thunder when the land was godless and free” and “she feels no control of her body she feels no safety in my arms i’ve no language left to say it but all i do is quake to her breaking if i try conveying the broken love i make to her” and i didn’t hear you. i apologize so sincerely. it’s not your fault that the chorus is repetitive. i’ll love you the way you deserve
#shaking#I REMOVED HER FROM MY PLAYLIST AND I WILL ALWAYS HATE MYSELF FOR JT#ugh. the metaphors#WHATEVER. you know that quote#‘if i did not know about god and sin would i go to hell’#‘no you would not’#‘THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME’#going feral. insane. crazy. the implications#foaming#happy father’s day to the dad that so loved the world he gave up his one and only son. i wish i never knew you#bea talks hozier#hozier#foreigner’s god
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I've heard "his world" in this trailer 2 im not crazy it was my jam when i was little IM NOT CRAZY I KNOW THE "DU DU DU DU" WHEN I HEAR IT (im sick and the fever got me but im not delulu... yet, its 3am, at 4am i might be)
#shadow#sonic#sonic the hedghog fandom#sonic 06#sonic movie 3#sonic the hedgehog#sonic 2006#his world#long story short i'm kinda young for sonic 06 at the launch#but when i was around 6 my uncle had this ps3#he borrowed the game from a friend#i knew sonic since i was 3 or 4 cause my dad put one of the flash bootlegs for me to play#i was in love with the franchise since them#i waited for te weekend to play sonic boom can 3D cause i was little (6 here) and here it wasn't very common sites like youtube in 2009/10#so i entered the game cause i liked it#ya know various characters and all like my boy shads or mecha (idk of he was only in the 2d or if he was also in 3d#(i played both)#the soundtrack was like 5 songs: you can do anything (intro) sonic boom fight the knight blur on the run AND his worl#IT WAS MY J A M AND MADE MY PERSONALITY WITH WHAT IM MADE OF AND I AM ALL OF ME#my sonic jam today keep being these 3 with a lot more songs AND all of me by sins of a divine mother cause when i was smol i liked sth05 ost
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GUYS 🥺 GUYSSSSS 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
#GEGE AKUTAMI YOU HAVE BEEN ABSOLVED OF ALL SIN .#I LOVE YOUUUU YOU SICK FUCK I KNEW YOU HAD MY BACK#😭😭😭😭😭😭#I FUCKING KNEW TAKABA WAS GONNA COME IN CLUTCH#HE WOULDNT LET HIS WIFESBAND DIE!!!!!!#OHHHHH MY FUCKING GOD IM SMILING SO BIG RN IM LITERALLY ABT TO TEAR UP#🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 GUYS .#ari noises ✩#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks
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just cant picture this man accusing duke of both kidnapping audrey and turning into a serial killer btw
#season two nuke will always be so famous#nathan who watched someone throw themselves on duke's knife and the way both the rev and simon was manipulating him:#i will get a tattoo just so i can be the one to kill him#nathan who locked duke up after evi died because he wanted to keep him safe and he knew he'd do something reckless#(and no we don't know really where silent night fits into the timeline but THAT nathan who#recruited duke to help cheer audrey up?????????????? he wouldn't accuse duke of that)#LIKE EVEN SINS OF THE FATHER NATHAN who warned audrey against duke like.#i think s3 nathan was just soooo extreme it. blows my mind you know
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to drink the wine blessed to blood. to sink your teeth into the bread turned flesh. what could be more divine? Jesus gives Himself to you, for the forgiveness of your sins. do this in the rememberance of Him. eat, drink, remember. tomorrow you will hurt Him, and He will die, but in this, in the washing of your feet, the wine made blood and bread made flesh, you are bringing within yourself God's message of salvation, the preemptive promise of redemption.
Jesus knows He will be betrayed, and yet He loves you. and yet He washes your feet and offers you food and drink and merriment and He forgives you. He forgives you. He forgives you.
#thinking about judas and the eucharist and betrayal and forgiveness and kissing my friends#the last supper. take and eat#take and drink. this is my body. this is my blood. do this#and remember me.#the love Jesus showed the apostles even though he KNEW he would be betrayed by one of them. the forgiveness even before the sin.#you are forgiven#christian mysticism#christian blog#christian faith#christianity
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🎬: About Es being a past prisoner and the secret 11th prisoner in your AU. But advance apologies if I'm overstepping into your AU!
I had this idea from a story that pretty much did the same thing. Going off there are novels/manga on Milgram and there being another Es and their own prisoners running another Milgram (but differently) I imagine this Milgram projects has been going on for a while, and our Es was from a previous project who might have gotten the worst verdict (or the most spared out of everyone), and was given this final task as a warden for the next group of prisoners. This is why they so readily agreed and had their memories wiped for this Milgram project instead of being weary on a shady project on judging an almost crime, they've already been through this.
(BTW is it bad and worrying for one of our ten fav prisoners to be the next Es if this is legit...)
Anyway, that's why Es is in Milgram in your AU, I guess? And the lore drop that Kotoko picks up on them being the 11th prisoner, I can imagine her also talking to Kazui since he's a policeman to see if she could cross out any theories on who Es is (Did they look familiar. Possible missing child. Any cases to do with an almost crime by a child other than the 10 of them here). Kazui knows Kotoko wants to investigate, but reminds her that, like in their prison while the trial is on, the facilities they're in have high security too. They do have the freedom to move about, but still limited.
If they're trying to investigate Es, maybe Fuuta, Kotoko and Mikoto can try to do the hacking on the comp Mikoto's allowed to use to Photoshop some shots for the MVs and photos (Fuuta and Kotoko seem to be able to search up info they need I think...). Yuno, Mahiru and Muu can work on charming the staff to see if they can spill more deets on Milgram. Not sure how much the group can gather, but oh boy fun times in Milgram can turn into another sort of stress in this AU...
No worries!! Like I said before, this whole au has been a fun collaborative project, so there's no overstepping :) I am sorry I won't be writing a lot on the ending until we get more info, but that's just the perfectionist in me who doesn't want to be proven wrong 😅 Still, I love tossing around and digging into ending scenarios, I really love this!
Because that would make a lot of sense why they're so willing to subject themself to the whole experiment! They remember how tough their experience was, and are confident they can care for the new set of prisoners while doing their job. I'm imagining they get the opportunity to return as guard, and get to have a nice talk with their own guard first. Once they fully understand what it's like, they're know they can handle it and sign up. It adds a bit of drama, too, since they must have been really young committing their crime in order to complete a years-long experiment prior to this one. They would have been like 10? Oof. (Now I wanna see their three trial songs 👀)
And like you said, that also brings up the question of the new warden. Though I think it's based on verdict results, I can just picture Jackalope keeping an eye on everyone during filming. He studyies their interactions and personalities, keeping his own set of notes on who would make a good successor. (I'm not going to go through every character but there are pros to any choice, it's very fun picturing them all taking the job.) Haha, on the other hand, maybe the reason Kotoko keeps bringing up her role as Es' partner/bringer of justice is because she did discover the truth. She drops as many hints as possible so she can be chosen next 😅
Ooh, I love her working with Kazui on an investigation! The fact that eh may know details on recent crimes (and almost-crimes) is super fun to work with. He's the last person who's going to spill a secret, so the group could go several trials without realizing Kazui had actually heard all about their situation this whole time.
(Getting sidetrack for a sec, I'm suddenly realizing that he and Kotoko may have heard things about the crimes in canon, too. They're a bit unclear about how much time passed between the murders and arriving to Milgram, so maybe he heard some things. I don't know how well-connected Tokyo police departments are, but Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Shidou are all nearby. There's definitely a chance he caught word of the vigilante nearby, and she heard about the odd policeman's suicide. Both of them could have heard about the tragic housefire, the disgraced doctor, or horrible schoolgirl murder nearby.)
Anyway, I like that idea of Kazui wracking his brain for any similar cases. Though, if he had, Milgram may have had the foresight to wipe parts of his memory, too. Maybe he does end up using his call to reach out to Hinako and have her look into it from the outside. Sadly, Kotoko seems the type to sacrifice her personal call to reach out to a connection who can help as well. I'll have to think about how closely Jackalope monitors those calls, hm.
I'm going crazy over prisoner investigation team !! Kotoko and Fuuta had the online knowledge to find some good info, and Mikoto and Kazui seem like they'd have a huge network of people they can ask for info and favors from. Haha, I'm torn whether Mahiru would have flirting down to a science or if she'd refuse to do it since it wasn't real love 😂 Still, she's very good at reading people and could definitely help the others charm and bribe their way into some restricted areas. Amane and Haruka can also charm with their innocence/cuteness (though I'm not sure Amane would). Shidou seems very organized, he'd have a plan and backup plan and backup-backup plan ready, no matter what happens. I think it's even funnier, then if Milgram had run several experiments prior. Jackalope would think this was just another runthrough, and for the first time the ten subjects decided to organize together and Cause Problems.
I think there's a beautiful irony in a story featuring ten prisoners planning a jailbreak to save the prison guard...
#milgram#as always thank you for sending 🎬!! these are so fun and big brained ough#lol yeah a fun fact about me is im Such a stickler for canon even in aus like this#the pain of writing a mahiru x boyfriend fic and doing the whole thing without ever saying his name 💀#so i wrote the last chapter of the au as vague as possible so that it had a nice ending but i may go back to make things more accurate when#t3 ends and we (hopefully) find out who es is#i love that this eases some of the pain knowing that es knew exactly what they were getting into :')#and wont be too fucked up upon getting their memories back since they knew it was faked#while also adding extra angst that theyve been there for so long -- theyve spent so much of their childhood within milgram#i was just recently looking at that post about their character locations and had it all marked out on a map#i swear i dont just know that off the top of my head asdfsd#i never realized kazui and kotoko would have outside knowledge >:0#i really love that concept#between the ten of them they hit so many skill sets -- theyve got the brain and the brawn and the people skills#theyve got intimidation and innocence#theyve got the experience of 40yos and up-to-date kids#theyd be unstoppable -- rip jackalope 😂😂😂#lights camera sing your sins#ask
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Now I cry whenever I hear that damn Green Day song
I NEVER fucking realized how much the X-men movies impacted me growing up. Damn.
When I was younger, I really didn’t understand how I was different. I just knew I was. Those movies made me feel seen, though I didn’t know why. They told me to love myself and be proud of who I am. Be proud of my differences. Something that made me feel warm, even before I understood I was queer.
It felt like the first film, or even person, to say “I love you. The real you. Even the parts of you that you don't love."
#also applies to me being autistic too#queerness just hits harder bc of how I grew up#obviously my parents told me they loved me#but i always knew they wouldn’t love some parts of me#in the hate the sin love the sinner type way#in the#hate the sin and ignore that part of the sinner you don’t want to exist#way#gonna rewatch those movies now#gonna cry more#x men#wolverine#x men movies#queer#lgbt#growing up queer#growing up gay#queer life
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