#who she is to vox and valentino is what Velvette(tm) is

[cruelplatonic]

ruminating on 'the vees died despondent nobodies' thoughts

velvette interrogates vox after she hears him give various conflicting and bombastic accounts on air. a selection of these include: blew his brains out on live television, administered the death penalty for killing his "bitch wife," a tragic accident involving two shetland ponies, dubiously legal iranian yogurts, and a whole lot of cocaine. the actual cause was shockingly ordinary- a heart attack in front of the television, alone, his corpse only recovered after two weeks passed. he was watching a game show and his last mortal regret was never even learning who won, because he died during the commercials.

[alice-after-dark]

Stayed Friends AU Random Facts - Valentino Edition

Just some random thoughts I had about Valentino in the Stayed Friends au if anyone cares. For the most part, this is a more lighthearted au, so expect that things will be different. Not to say there won't be seriousness and drama, but generally this is just for fun.

TW for Angel having serious self-loathing and canon-typical triggers.

-Valentino is not nearly as much of a toxic dick in this au. Why is he not nearly as much of a toxic dick in this au? Because it's my au and I do what I want.

-He is still the same flamboyant asshole diva, of course, but the actual abuse factor is way down. He does still throw tantrums when he's especially upset, but he's far more likely to break things than hurt others...at least not his employees. Miscellaneous Sinners on the street are fair game.

-Valentino and Angel actually have a good relationship. Valentino unapologetically plays favorites.

-Alastor and Valentino are not...friends. They're more like two beings who tolerate the other's existence for the sake of a mutual friend. Valentino thinks Alastor is a pompous stuffy prude and Alastor thinks of Valentino as a dumb sex-obsessed degenerate. Every encounter with them in the same vicinity comes with the Exasperated Vox TM disclaimer of "Al, don't be an ass. Val, don't antagonize him."

-Vox and Valentino are friends-with-benefits.

-Valentino has been aware of Vox's crush on Alastor from the very first time he ever heard him talk about the deer demon and never misses an opportunity to tease him about it.

-He offered Husk a blow job as a thank you for protecting Angel from the loan sharks. Vox and Velvette have a sit down with him about how sexual favors are not appropriate corporate thank you gifts.

-He does...vaguely better when Angel asks for the day off to comfort Charlie after the reveal of Vaggie being an angel. He uses his smoke to instantly send a feel-better gift basket to Charlie with ice cream, chocolate, and...Angel hides the break-up-revenge themed porn videos before she sees those. At least he got it two-thirds right...

-Velvette, Mimzy, Rosie, Niffty, Angel, and Valentino definitely have Girl's Nights once a month, typically at the V Tower or Rosie's house. Post battle with Adam and the Exorcists, they get Charlie and Vaggie to join in (Stayed Friends!Valentino and Vaggie bonding over wing care, just saying).

-Valentino is the first person to find out Angel is crushing on Husk. Val puts Travis in charge, tells him to call in a replacement, and skips an entire shoot while Angel has a breakdown in his office about not being good enough to deserve love.