#if you care about the books of someone actively causing harm to our communities more than those communities you don’t care about us

[my-humble-abode]

getting real fucking fed up of people who decide that playing a game is more important than the lives and wellbeing of people of colour, of trans people, of jewish people

[vermilionhealth]

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Using Diet and Exercise:

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[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

[likealittleheartbeat]

I deeply appreciate how ATLA depicts all the main characters responses to trauma. Aang’s, for me, however, stands out for its rareness in media. And we are not hammered over the head with the idea that Aang (or any other characters) repeatedly act certain ways because of a single traumatic event. Sure, there are key moments in our lives when a certain event comes to the forefront, but no one experiences the world as constant flashbacks. Rather, we see only in retrospect the way our sarcastic sense of humor or our heightened friendliness were protective responses to a deep emotional injury. Being able to understand Aang’s approach to loss is essential for the show. The structure of the series is founded on his arc (despite an incredible foil provided by Zuko). Our little air nomad initially confronts the loss of his people with a full-on meltdown in the episode “The Southern Air Temple,” where Katara’s offering of familial belonging soothes him. But this kind of outburst is not Aang’s primary response (and actually the literally out-of-character apocalyptic tantrums align with Aang’s overall process of grieving). Instead of constantly brooding (hey Zuko!), Aang leans heavily toward the monk’s pacifist teachings and toward his assumed destiny “to save the world.” He becomes overtly accommodating and joyful, constantly trying to see “the good” in everything with a perfectionist’s zeal. This is not to ascribe his bubbliness only to his trauma. Rather, he comes to emphasize this part of his personality for reasons related to the negative emotions he struggles to face.  Book 1: Water

In the first season, Aang is simply rediscovering his place in the world. “Water is the element of change. The people of the water tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a sense of community and love that holds them together.” This is vital to Aang as he initially faces his experience. He won’t get through this if he is not prepared for his life to change. Even if he hadn’t been frozen for 100 years, his world would never be the same. This fact involves eventually finding new people that he feels safe with. After such a massive loss, he’s learning who to trust, and also often making mistakes; not only does he find Sokka and Katara (and I’d argue he’s actually slow to truly open up to them), this is the season where he helps save a fire nation citizen who betrays him to soldiers, befriends the rebel extremist Jet, and attempts to befriend an actively belligerent Zuko (his moral complexity had only JUST! been revealed to the kid!). He’s constantly offering trust to others and seeking their approval in opposition to the deep well of shame and guilt he carries as a survivor of violence. This is also the season where Aang swears off firebending after burning Katara in an overeager attempt to master the element (one will note how fire throughout the series is aligned with, above all else, assertiveness and yang). Aang is so eager to be seen as morally good to others that he refuses to risk any possible harm to them.  And asserting himself carries a danger, in one sense, that he might make a mistake and lose someone’s positive regard, and, in another sense, that he is replicating the anger and violence he’s witnessed. He has no relationship to his anger at this stage of his grief, so it comes out uncontrollably, both in firebending and the Avatar State. It’s through the patience of his new family that he can begin to feel unashamed about his past and about the ways his shame is finding (sometimes violent) expression in the present. Book 2: Earth In the second season he begins to trust himself and stand his ground. Earth, after all, is the element of substance, persistence, and endurance. The “Bitter Work” episode encapsulates how Aang must come to a more sturdy sense of his values. First, there is the transition of pedagogical style. While Katara emphasized support and kindness, Toph insists on blunt and threatening instruction, not for a lack of care towards Aang. Instead, it’s so Aang learns how to stop placing the desires of others above his own--to stop accommodating everyone else above his own needs. Toph taunts Aang by stealing one of the few keepsakes from the monastery that he holds onto. This attachment to the lost airbending culture is echoed in the larger arc with Appa. And, by the end of this episode, it is Aang’s attachment to Sokka that allows him to stand firm. This foreshadows the capital T Tragic downfall in the “Crossroads of Destiny.” Aang gives up his attachment to the other member of his new found family, Katara, despite his moral qualms. Although he has access to all the power of the Avatar state, his sacrifice is not rewarded. Season 2 illustrates Aang coming to terms with his values. He is learning about what he stands for, what holds meaning to him. Understanding himself also includes integrating his grief, and there’s a lonely and dangerous aspect to that exploration. We see Aang’s anger and hopelessness over longer stretches rather than outbursts in this season. It’s hard to watch and hard to root for him. That depressive state leads to actions that counter his previous sense of morality, as he decisively kills an animal, treats his friends unkindly, and blames others for his loss. Letting these harsher feelings emerge is an experiment, and most people discover their boundaries by crossing them. Finding ways to hold compassion for himself, even the harm he causes others, is the other side of this process. Our past and our challenging emotions are a part of us, but they are only a part. Since Aang now has a strong sense of community and is learning to be himself rather than simply seeking validation, we also see him having more healthy boundaries with new people. He’s no longer befriending villains in the second season! He’s respectful and trusting enough, but he’s not putting himself in vulnerable situations nor blindly trusting everyone. Instead, he’s more likely to listen to his friends’ opinions or think about how the monks might’ve been critical towards something (they’re complaints about Ba Sing Se, for example). By knowing what he cares for, he can know himself, the powerful, loving, grief-struck monk. And he can trust that, though he might not be everyone’s favorite person, he does not need to feel ashamed or guilty for who he is or what he’s been through. Book 3: Fire However, despite a sense of self and a sense of belonging, Aang and the group still find themselves constantly asking for permission throughout their time in Ba Sing Se. It’s in the third season, Fire, that initiative and assertiveness become the focus. And who better to provide guidance in this than the official prince of “you never think these things through,” Zuko. It’s no longer a time for avoidance or sturdy defensiveness. It is the season of action. Fire is the element of power, desire, and will, all of which require us to impact others.  We see the motif of initiative throughout the season: the rebels attempt to storm the Firelord on the Day of the Black Sun; Aang attempts to share his feelings and kiss Katara; Katara bends Hama and a couple of fire nation soldiers to her will. In each of these examples, the initiators face disgrace. Positive intent does not bring forth success, by any means, only more consequences to be dealt with. This is perhaps Aang’s biggest challenge. He is afraid that his actions will fail, or worse, they will succeed but he will be wrong in what he has chosen. The sequencing in the series, here, is important. We have already seen how Aang has worked to care for (and appreciate) the well-being of others and how he has learned to care for his own needs. With this in mind, he should be able to trust that his actions will derive from these wells of compassion. But easier said than done. Compassion can also trap him into indecision, hearkening back to his avoidant mistake in the storm, in which the whole mess began. Aang’s internal conflict, here, becomes more pronounced as the finale draws nearer. I think it’s especially significant that we witness Aang disagreeing with his mentors and friends. He must act in a way that will contradict and even threaten his sources of support if he is to trust his own desires. Even the fandom disagrees about the choice Aang makes, which further highlights the fact that making a decisive choice is contentious. There is no point in believing it will grant you love or admiration or success. For someone who began (and spent much of) the series regularly sacrificing himself just to bring others peace, Aang’s decision to prioritize his own interests despite the very explicit possibility of failure is the ultimate growth his character can have and the ultimate representation of him processing his trauma. (This arc was echoed and made even more explicit in many ways with Adora in the She-ra finale.) The last significant time Aang followed his desire, in his mind, was when he escaped the Air Temple in the storm. To want something, to trust his desire and act on it, is an act of incredible courage for him, and whether it succeeded or failed, whether anyone agrees or disagrees with it, it offered Aang a sense of peace and resolution. Now I appreciate and love Zuko’s iconic redemption arc, but Aang’s subtler arc, which subverts the “chosen one” narrative and broke ground to represent a prevalent emotional experience, stands out to me as the foundation for the show I love so much.

[picturejasper20]

Infinity Train and Cults

One of the most interesting aspects in Infinity Train's story is how humans passengers start cults and the process of recruitment. This theme is very prevelent during the second half of Book 2 and all Book 3.

This theme is represented with "The Apex": a group commopsed of very young passengers who go from car to car harrassing citizens of the train and stealing their goods. They are first introduced in the series in the episode "The Lucky Cat Car" in Book 2.

In this post i'm going to write a detailed analysis explaining what is a cult, why the Apex could be considered a cult and the reasons why passengers would join the group in first place.

To do this i'm going to cite a few sources about cults and the psychology behind cult recruitment, which you'll find at the end of this post.

Let's start:

1) The definition of the word "Cult".

According to Sociologist Janja Lalich who speciales in cults the definition of a cult is:

¨A cult can be either a sharply-bounded social group or a diffusely-bounded social movement held together through shared commitment to a charismatic leader. It upholds a transcendent belief system (often but not always religious in nature) that includes a call for a personal transformation. It also requires a high level of personal commitment from its members in words and deeds.¨

Another details she talks about in her article are:

¨This definition is not meant to be evaluative in the sense of implying that a group is good, bad, benign, or harmful. Rather it is meant to convey a systemic view of such a group, which is comprised of a charismatic relationship, a promise of fulfillment, and a methodology by which to achieve it.¨  

¨Each group must be observed and judged on its own merits and its own practices and behaviors as to whether it falls within this category type, which is not meant to be dismissive or one-sided¨

The Ted-Ed video: ¨Why Do People Join Cults?¨ gives a similar definition:

¨Broadly speaking, a cult is a group or movement with a shared commitment to a usually extreme ideology that's typically embodied in a charismatic leader. A typical cult requires a high level of commitment from its members and maintains a strict hierarchy, separating unsuspecting supporters and recruits from the inner workings. It claims to provide answers to life's biggest questions through its doctrine, along with the required recipe for change that shapes a new member into a true believer.¨

To put it in simpler words: A cult by definition is a social group which has a very strong belief system (this doesn´t mean it is religious), it’s controlled by a charismatic leader whose followers rarely question. The members of the group have to obey an specific set of rules that are usually created by the leaders of the cult. Critical thinking is very often discouraged between the members.

The word cult isn´t meant to be good or bad. It’s just a way to describe a social group with specific characteristics. The definition itself isn´t exact, one has to learn about the group first before labeling it as a cult.

Now, how do the Apex from Infinity Train fall in this category?

2) The Apex as a cult.

For this part of the analysis I’m going to cite common characteristics of cults and how they do apply to the Apex. I’m going to add multiple examples of how the Apex members behave, how they interact with their leaders (Grace and Simon) and their ideology.

¨The group displays an excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader, and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.¨

 In the series, the Apex members consider Grace and Simon as unquestionable leaders. They follow their commands including those that are indicate to hurt train citiziens.

When Grace snaps her fingers in one of the kids immediately listens to her and goes to her side, kneeling when he meets her. (The Lucky Cat Car).

Simon also kneels before Grace in next episode since he is supposed to be second in command.

In ¨The Music Car¨ all the members pledge to the leaders and salute them:

 ¨Apex!

May our spirits be high!

And our numbers higher!

Down with the false Conductor!¨

 Both Grace and Simon appear to have a special status within the group as they are given gifts by the kids when the raid a car as seen in the first episode. It’s not stated if this is part of their routine as way for each member to prove they are worthy of being a Apex but considering the rules of the group it is very possible assumption.

¨Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.¨

In ¨The Mall Car¨ after Jesse refuses to follow Grace orders and stands up for Lake and Alan, Grace responds by telling him he made a big mistake and uses her mirror to let the flecks catch Lake.

This is a huge contrast with how she was very friendly with Jesse at the start of the episode. Grace´s sudden change of behavior comes from how Jesse didn´t accept her authority and realized how he was being manipulated.

This is another example of The Apex behaving as a cult: In the moment someone doesn´t want to follow Grace or Simon´s orders, they are seen as an enemy who opposes the Apex and there before must be punished. Disagreement is very discouraged in cults groups. Those who show any sign of disagreement or doubt are mocked, guilt tripped and called out.

A more subtle case of this happening when one of the kids,Lucy, calls a train citizen a ¨person¨. Grace corrects him by telling him that the train citizen is ¨another toy the train made to amuse us.¨ She makes Lucy feel ashamed for doubting the Apex ideology by mocking her in front of Simon: ¨Aw, that's cute. Lucy thinks it's a person¨ (The Music Car).

¨The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s), and its members (e.g., the leader is considered the Messiah, a special being, an avatar—or the group and/or the leader is on a special mission to save humanity.¨

The Apex believe that they are entitled to their car. They are above the train citizens, they are allowed to take and hurt them as much as they want because for the Apex the citizens aren’t real and they don’t experience emotions.

¨She doesn't even have a number. (..) ¨She's not a passenger¨.(..) Exactly, she's a null. Null, it means nothing, not even a zero.¨ Grace talking about Lake in ¨The Mall Car¨

¨I've got a number, and you don't. You two are only as good as you are useful.¨ Simon referring to Alan Dracula and Lake.

The group itself refers to the old conductor as their as divine figure, who inspires them everyday and has been stolen from his true place by the ¨false conductor¨, who is One-One. It’s almost as the old conductor is their god because it has the highest number in the train.

Grace mentions multiple times in Book 3 how she was saved by the conductor. It´s heavily implied she believes she has been chosen and how she´s the only one that who knows how the conductor looks like.

In Apex ideology, the numbers are very important: They determine your status in the community. The higher the number, the more powerful you are. To increase your number you have to do the tasks the leaders give to you. These tasks involve destroying, stealing and hurting citizens. The person with the highest number is the leader of the group.

¨The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group¨

While wrecking the car in the episode ¨The Lucky Cat Car¨ Grace mentions how the Apex are just doing what they must to survive. This shows a very explicit example of ¨the the end justify the means¨ that is common to find in cults. Grace and the other Apex kids are clear they don´t care about stealing and hurting citizens as long as they are able to increase their numbers and get resources.

Another example of this is when Grace and Simon plan to getting rid of Tuba to take Hazel with them in Book 3. This implies they don’t care about separating kids from their train companions to make them join the Apex. It wouldn´t be farfetched to think they have done this before with other young passengers to isolate them and persuade them into staying with the group.

In case of Jesse in Book 2, Grace tries to convince him to participate in a raid by breaking a cube from a train car. She tries making Jesse believe that those without numbers aren´t real and lack capacity to experience actual pain. Before that she told him to throw food under the train by saying he is ¨free to do whatever he wants¨. This case is more about how members make non-members commit morally questionable actions before they become full members.

¨Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.¨

Very often when joining a cult members are asked to keep distance from their close relationships (family and friends). Applying different methods, the leaders seek to isolate the new members from their family to control them more easily and thus making doubt less of the orders they are following.

In Infinity Train, the apex often try to separate kids and teenagers from their train companions. To do this, they manipulate the passengers into believing that their companions are just ¨toys to play with¨ and that the Apex are going to give them a home to live.

In ¨The Mall Car¨ Grace asks Lake to stay to look for Alan Dracula while Jesse goes with the Apex kids. Grace did this on purpose to be alone with Jesse and cause problems between him and Lake’s relationship.

After Lake stays behind, Grace starts talking about how Lake is getting Jesse into trouble and how the train is a ¨scary and lonely place¨. By giving Jesse all these negative thoughts she intends to giving him more reasons to not continue his journey and be part of the group.

In Book 3, Grace and Simon try applying something similar with Hazel and Tuba. They try to make Hazel to leave Tuba’s side and getting rid of the citizen. Much like Lake and Jesse, Tuba and Habel have a very strong bond which means they are going to have a hard time encouraging Hazel to ditch her friend.

One detail worth of adding is that they considered Tuba a threat because of her huge muscular form which made her look really intimidating. Someone like her was a obstacle that was impeding them to recruit Hazel.

¨Unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe, evil conspiracies and persecutions.¨

The Apex believe there was a conspiracy against the old conductor and the new conductor (One-One) is the false conductor. They seem to hold into this idea that old conductor was overthrown and their true place is being in charge the train.

When Amelia is explaining them that she used to be the old conductor and she isn´t prisoner of One-On, Simon keeps accusing her of spreading false propaganda and insist Grace that she is trying to trick them. In this scenario, it makes some sense for someone to be skeptical, especially if they held a very strong belief system like Grace and Simon do.

3) Why would passengers join the Apex?

After watching how badly the apex treat the train citizens and separate kids from their companions, why would someone join them? It may look like only those who want to commit vandalism and have a extreme prejudice against citizens would but if one analyses how the train operates it makes perfect sense.

When a kid gets on the train, they are completely separated from their family. Unless they find a kind companion, they are going to be completely alone stuck in a unknown place without adults to take care of them. They are very likely going to feel lost and scared not knowing what they have to do and what they should go.

Combine all this factors and they make a very easy target for a cult movement like the Apex to recruit: The members can take care of them, give them a place to belong, have friends and a sense of community. The kid passengers don’t have to worry about anything as long as the follow the rules.

Cults seeks to recruit people who are in a state of extreme vulnerability, who have issues fitting in or may feel lost. The members give these people a new purpose. They say ¨we can be your new home, your family¨ which leads to people to be persuaded into joining.

In the two examples in the series, Hazel and Jesse, Grace talks to them about how great the Apex are: They are going to help them, they will take care of them and keep them safe from the dangers of the train.

With Jesse, Grace tells him ¨how she cares about people¨. She fills his mind with how the Apex are good and they can do whatever they one. She’s very friendly with him and even invites him to jump from car to car.

In the case of Hazel, Grace tells her how they are going to help her with fixing her number. She also mentions how Hazel is going to meet tons of other kids once they reach the Apex car.

She knows that kids like Jesse and Hazel feel confused inside the train and takes advantage of their weaknesses to trick them into becoming Apex members.

In Conclusion:

For the reasons I wrote in this post, one could interpret the Apex from Infinity Train as a cult or a social group that shares characteristics found in cults : They have a very specific type of almost religious ideology, they think having more numbers gives them a special status, they rarely have doubts in their leaders and don´t care about hurting people to get what they want.

I think that the Apex is one of the most interesting themes of the series. It explores what happens when many young passengers start working together and create their own society with its own rules while showing how people come together when they find themselves lost in a place they don´t understand. It’s worth of analyzing the psychological and sociological aspects of this community and how they work.

Sources that were used for this post:

http://cultresearch.org/help/characteristics-associated-with-cults/

http://cultresearch.org/definition-and-explanation-of-the-word-cult/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janja_Lalich

https://www.insider.com/why-people-join-cults-according-to-therapist-who-treats-survivors-2020-9

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2009/may/27/cults-definition-religion

The video ¨Why do people join cults?¨: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB-dJaCXAxA&ab_channel=TED-Ed

[womenaremypriority]

Hii @vampiremiffy I hope you don’t mind me expanding on this for anon!

I think I understand with that, even if a lot of aspects of transgender activism are hurtful to women, how is being trans itself harmful? Even if we focus on women as a biological class for activism, why can’t we still affirm trans identities? Is that your question? For one, a lot of radical feminists who came from being trans-inclusive or detransitioning themselves came to this conclusion in different ways, and I don’t think all gender-critical feminists necessarily DO think that being trans is inherently misogynistic or harmful, but more so that it’s factually true you can’t change sex, but changing laws to pretend you can is harmful. But the common answer would be that sex is biological, and gender is everything else that we associate with the words ‘men’ and ‘women’ in society, which is sexist and cultural. The trans community nowadays tries to deny it, and there’s a shoddy idea of ‘gender identity’ which isn’t scientific or verifiable, to try to make it about something other than stereotypes. But that’s where the idea comes from, and it’s pretty clear that sexism and stereotypes still fuel it: women on here have a ton of receipts for that. But its pretty obvious, because what other reason would you have, if you don’t have sex dysphoria (which itself can have a social basis-) to want to be one or the other? There is the literal letters and sounds ‘men’, ‘women’, ‘male’, and ‘female’ make/have, and there is what they mean, and what connotations the words have in the minds of people who grew up in societies with gender roles(everyone currently alive). What other reason would someone have to prefer one or the other? They really like the vowel sounds in the word ‘female’?

Also that by identifying as something you are not, you are dehumanizing them by creating an idea in your head. Some women on here and I think popular GC books have expanded on this but I can’t explain it well lol. If you say you identify as something, that you feel like one on them, you presume to know how they feel. What women exclusive feeling is there? What man exclusive feeling is there?

Overall if there’s still a part of you that feels like it’s incomplete, that there’s a part missing, I think that’s reasonable. For me personally and I’m assuming a lot of people who were previously supportive of trans people, it’s not one thing but more and more issues we find with it that eventually causes the whole thing to implode in our mind. But big thing for me though was the idea that a sex or gender spectrum inherently creates a hierarchy. There is no ‘less woman’ or ‘less man’. It is a neutral trait we are born with. If you still have doubts that’s fine 🤷‍♀️ Also plenty of GC feminists think medical transition shouldn’t be completely banned and don’t care if some people socially transition.

hi, this feels like a rlly dumb question so i hope it doesnt come across as insincere- as a radfem, i truly dont understand why trans exclusion is needed for the liberation of women as a social class and the female sexual spectrum as a biological form. its something i’ve never been able to really get answers on from other radfems directly. i understand the concept of “womens spaces” and the preservation of women’s social identity (and thus social class) as an extension of female biological liberation, but practically i really dont see how transexuality (both contemporary “radical identity” in the form of nonbinary gender and sexual presentation and traditional hyper-binary transexuality) doesnt serve to undermine the power dynamic of male/female social control. idk its always been a sticking point for me lol, i would love for some insight on it bc i suspect maybe its a difference in approach (i.e seeking to eliminate gendered power structures by grinding away the meaning of genders and biological categories vs seeking to maintain womanhood as a social role that is liberated)

hi! sorry for not answering, i wasnt on tumblr these days the main focus is that radfeminism puts the source of women's oppresion at the basis of sex, it isnt really a trans exclusivity since female trans people (using TIF from now on since that includes both binary and nonbinary trans females, same w TIM) are still included in it all examples of female oppression comes from our sex, not our gender.

girls and women cant identify as men/non binary genders to escape female genital mutilation, feminicide, or simply misogyny microaggressions. we arent oppressed simply by being women, that's the excuse it has been formed by the creation of genders, we are oppressed as female. and even though, TIM may suffer discrimination when cispassing, its still proof of sex based oppresion (the perpetuator assuming theyre female) and we cant talk about all of this without the recognition of a female class, the same way people of color recognize that their oppresion is based on their ethnicity or homo/bisexual people recognize their oppresion comes from same sex attraction at the same time is weird to say "i see no race" when talking about racism, it is when trying to "erase" the existence of sex

also, and no less important, just like non human animals, female and male humans have different physical characteristics (+the female and male socialization), we need female spaces (and male) only, even after an idea of gender abolition like in medical aspects

hope this helps?? i answered at to how i understanded your question lol

[thehappyrealityproject]

Message from Mariya:

Creating a Happy Reality

Hey everyone! I believe an update is in order! Last time I posted on my blog was September 2019, and now it’s April 2021.

First, I’d like to say that I’m very thankful for my friend, who agreed to type up this message and post it. I’m also very thankful for this incredible tech-free journey, which turned out to be more like a gradual letting go of things rather than letting go of everything that I wanted to let go of at once, and the many wonderful discoveries I made because of it. 

Recent discoveries: Not using artificial lights makes it a lot easier to go to bed earlier and promotes a sense of inner peace, while not checking the time lowers anxiety.

At the core of why I wanted to leave modern technology was a deep desire to reconnect with myself and the magic of real life. And the electrical sensitivity – which reflected my deep dissatisfaction – provided me with the motivation to actually do it.

“Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we do not experience it.” – Rollo May

The aim of everyday modern technology is to get things done faster, but what that actually does is keep people away from fully living.

Relatable excerpt from a book I was recently writing:

“I see what’s going on here,” said George.

“You do?” I asked.

“Yes. People are skipping the journey and going straight to the destination. You want food? Pop a package in the microwave. You want clothes? Order some online. You want to travel to a new faraway place? A plane will get you there while you sleep. ‘Instant gratification,’ they say. Yet that’s not gratifying at all. Life isn’t about the destination, it’s all about the journey. There is joy in cooking. There is joy in growing your own food and making your own clothing, too. The end result contains only a tiny fraction of the joy compared to the whole experience. People have forgotten this. They’ve replaced the whole experience with activities that only leave them feeling empty, like sitting online all day or watching television. On the flip side, if they returned to the whole experience of things, they might appreciate it much more, knowing that the alternative is senseless; it literally doesn’t require most of the senses. So there is a great lesson in this, one that I’ve learned myself. Maybe that was the reason for why it all came to be this way,” he replied.

I learned that many of the things that people think they need and often seek happiness through are not only the very same things that distract them and keep them away from the happiness they seek (which happens to be our natural state), but also cause harm to them, the environment, and the very life that sustains us – stuff that we actually do need! 

For instance, something we really need – like clean air – is completely taken for granted and diminished because of car fumes (one of the top causes of air pollution) and smoking. The population of bees, which are vital to many of the foods we eat, is decreasing at an alarming rate because of cell phone signals and pesticides. 

Wild nature, another thing we really need, has also diminished. The less I distract myself, the more I feel like I need to be there. I wonder, are we all consciously or subconsciously distracting ourselves from that need? After all, deep down, we are wild creatures who were conditioned to be otherwise.  

In other words, we need much less than we think we do, and we need to protect and take better care of that which we actually do need.

As I was letting go of electronics/modern technology, another interesting thing happened: I became increasingly aware of the state of modern society, AKA the comfortable prison, and it didn’t take long for me to want to leave that behind as well.

I noticed that cities have significantly small amounts of trees; some blocks don’t have any at all. There’s concrete all around, “Keep Off the Grass” signs, overcrowded stores with plastic everywhere, car/train/construction noises, saturation of cars, car fumes, and contrails being dispersed in the sky, releasing carbon dioxide and soot into the atmosphere. Some people are afraid of opening windows because of fumes.

Suburbs have perfectly manicured lawns, so much so that nobody steps on top of them. “Private Property” signs. There’s still concrete all around. Nobody is outside. Why? They’re all inside, staring at screens.

More rural areas have power lines hanging everywhere. Any sensitive or energy-intuitive person can feel the unpleasant energy coming from them. Houses are farther away from each other, and there are larger lawns. More “Private Property” signs. Again, nobody is outside. Same reason. Whether here or in the suburbs, people don’t usually take walks, they take their car everywhere. Unless people choose to exercise, movement is minimized and so is strength. A common theme in these places is stagnation and isolation. 

Most people pollute their bodies with drugs, alcohol, or smoking, and it’s considered completely normal to do so. In fact, many of them get startled when they discover that someone chooses not to do that.

Ironically, organic food, AKA real food, which is our birthright, is considered a luxury now and costs more than fake food.

Is this what they call progression?

I just want to add that even if this really upsets some people, it’s important to know in order to be inspired to create some real and amazing changes. Once you know what is going on, you can turn your attention towards creating what you do want.

I never used to be one of those people who focused on global issues much, but they’ve gotten so out of hand that they are affecting normal day-to-day living. This is not normal.

Meanwhile, I was just looking for a quiet place in nature where I could take walks barefoot on grass (a very natural and beneficial practice), relax, breathe fresh clean air, and not have to ask someone to drive me to a state park.

Can you live in nature without a car? YES. By becoming more self-sufficient.

Last summer, I met a family that grows their own organic fruits and vegetables (and what a magical thing that is!) without any machinery. They shared their strawberries with me. By the way, there are books that teach you how to grow everything, even how to make your own flour and yarn. That’s how they learned their skills. 

I realized that you don’t actually need money to live a joyful life and that the money and exchanging goods and services system is an outdated fear-based system that completely eradicates the joy of giving – one of the highest joys we can experience here. Giving to receive doesn’t feel nearly as good. That’s why many people don’t feel comfortable with that system, even if they do what they enjoy.

So if modern technology or modern society isn’t progression, then what is?

Love. Becoming more loving and allowing yourself to be loved! 

Treating ourselves, others, and the planet with kindness and love, realizing that we’re all connected. That includes not using substances that pollute your own body. 

Falling in love with your uniqueness and the uniqueness of others. 

Falling in love with life!

That’s what it’s always been about, folks.

At this point, however, it’s also about creating a completely different and better way of life. So what I’d like to do is bring The Happy Reality Project into real life, where it was always meant to be, and create an intentional community that reflects happiness and the true meaning of progression. This community can later extend to other places around the world.

Details below:

I’m looking for people who feel like they’re done with modern society – done with distractions, staring at screens all day, being around drug use/alcohol/smoking, air pollution, light pollution, and all the other pollutions, the concrete jungle, the rat race, stagnation, hiding and feeling shame or being shamed for their own beautiful bodies, etc., and done with being under the spell that this is all normal. I’m looking for people who see through the illusion and know that this isn’t progression, but actually quite the opposite. I’m looking for people who want to create something new with me and would be interested in living off the grid without electricity or electronics, observing a sky full of stars, dancing to or playing live music, rediscovering the magic of nature, becoming more self-sufficient, and exploring what it truly means to be a human being and to naturally feel happy, free, and alive!

Let’s put life back into life!

Harmony and being in awe with life is the norm.

Location = open for discussion.

If you’re interested or have any ideas or suggestions, send an email to ------, where my friend has agreed to respond.

Almost 4 months later, update: The email has been deleted due to no responses. Perhaps the internet isn’t the best place to find people who want a lifestyle without electronics. Regardless, we still think it was important to share this message.

[lavender-hemlock]

Clearing the Air

Good morning darlings, I hope you’ve had a delightful year thus far. 

Honestly no one is, we’re all suffering. The next episode release of 2020 is coming out soon, my bet is on aliens. 

As much as I would like to joke my way through this to make it easier, this won’t be. I have very recently had very serious issues be brought to my attention as to how someone in this community behaves. At first I was going to keep quiet because in the end- this was my friend. I care so much about the sake of others, when really I was letting behaviors go that are unacceptable. 

I believe the power of a callout post should be used seriously, and never be used for personal abuse of power. A lot of the examples I use will be from my point, and it is personal. He is very aware how stressed and tired I have been, so to treat me this way was unwarranted. 

I have only decided to step forward due to more than one girl stepping forward about these behaviors that are detailed in the list below. This post is for awareness of his behaviors, and his ideals on rape. 

I also do not appreciate being spoken badly of RECENTLY only to have a heart to heart with another girl on the lies being told so that we would not speak to each other (This is referenced below under the list of points.) 

-- The accused is Kazex Voss. Every line in this post has screens embedded for evidence and clarity.

_______________________________________________________________

Here is the list of what he is being held accountable of. I am not the sole subject of the below, and I am also not the subject of one or two of them: Screens are linked for evidence, if a screen is more important to note- it is bolded or posted. Screens are `mostly` in order under their number for subject. 

*The way I have used male and female is how he kept describing gender. 

1. Using personal trauma as a plot device. 

Ex. rape. Writing rape plot to someone who is confirmed to be a victim of traumatic events pertaining to rape and abuse [Scrn Link]. 

- Excusing using rape as a plot device to have “females” overcome their trauma [Scrn Link].

- Another screen of him describing his point of view as a “male” compared to “females.” In here, he addresses my question head on by describing he does not understand because he is “male.” [Scrn Link].

- Another screen of the problem of his “rape therapy” villain. Me asking him directly if he does this to other girls. 1st opportunity to be honest because I already knew the truth. [Scrn Link] (related to the below)

- (related to the above) Next day where I confronted him 1 more time to be honest with me if he does this to other women. Evidence of him doing this to other women, lying, and then agreeing [Scrn Link]. 

- Him saying, “In real life rape is wrong, but are you going to tell me what to write? [Scrn Link]

- More context.

2.  Manipulation.  

 Lying to two people and turning them against one another to hide his secrets and lies so that neither question the other about the subject’s habits.

- Claiming I’m perfect in order to switch blame despite me addressing him on the subject of his rape RP and his bias against how fast I respond to him. 

[Scrn Link]

-  Abusing guilt tactics to encourage more for what he wants out of a “friendship”. You don’t treat friends like this. There are "standards” you can have for a friend, but you don’t use it like this. [Scrn Link.]

- Justification as if I am the one who has let him down for him writing a book. Addressing past issues I kept personal because it did not merit a callout. 

[Scrn Link.]

- how the fight started, more behaviors. To which this inspired my main issue (Point 1, and Point 4.) Notice how this went from me bringing up an issue of rape, and behaviors, to suddenly I’m in the wrong. [Scrn Link].

- Justification for belittling someone, plus context of “he knows what kind of person he is” so he didn’t need to claim anything I questioned or accused him on. [Scrn Link]. 

-- Acknowledged he was gas lighting throughout our argument. Dismissive.

[Scrn Link].

3. Belitting someone over their content, ideas, or writing to make them feel inadequate. 

-- From the other girl who addressed me today, the same that told me I “disliked her” as addressed below. 

2 & 3: have been used to isolate another girl and keep her from approaching others, or myself. Either because I am one way or the other. It has also been confirmed by both girls (the one experiencing rape plot as well), and then the other girl that was isolated have both expressed they were told to keep their ships secret. Even as far as telling one of the girls to take down their screens they took together with the excuse that she could “post them later at the right time.” 

4.  Taking IC to OOC and blurring the two together. 

5. Encouraging poor behavior to pander to his wants by comforting, nurturing depression/discouraging any “toxic” behavior such as boldness or growth of a spine to tell him when something is not okay. 

-- One of the latter screens: probably an important summary of my entire issue that me doing this post, or even making an issue with him was never about just ME. Posted as an image since I feel it expresses the ENTIRE post.

----- To end this discussion of points and evidence, I will address that he did apologize, but evidently this is not being taken seriously since as of last week to today, I am being lied about by him. I will refuse to accept that treatment in case there is anymore confusion of my character. 

_____________________________________________________________

This is an awareness that no matter how much you can know about someone- you don’t. Lies are just pretty words to be used to get their way, and when questioned, this subject will ask that you don’t ask why they lied in the first place. 

I am by no means a perfect person. I have been depressing, stressed, or confused when told that everything is fine- and its not. Nothing he ever told me was ok, or just a mistake and he’s “sorry”.

Why did I come forward now? Why not when I found out another girl like the dates of the screens? 

This is an open inquiry that if you have been told that I dislike you without a probable cause for me to dislike you, please reach out to me. I have recently been confronted by one of the girls in an open discussion that she was informed that I did not like her by Kazex. 

I was confused by this, because while I was adverse to talking to her because of the things he told me- I didn’t hate her like she thought I did. 

We talked and lined up our facts- and we were both told things to make the other question ever speaking to each other. He told her to secretly ship, and he told me that she was this flaky person so we both wouldn’t question the other or speak.

Let this not happen again. 

Love your fellow gamer. Please take other’s judgement as a grain of salt rather than fact (unless proven otherwise based on your own judgement), because everyone has an opinion. We’re all one community, and it is people like this that seek to isolate you or keep ships “secret” so that their target does not think there is competition. 

I was led to believe that no matter what, he would always try to ship with Haine because she was the only ship he wanted. This was not what I wanted or the case, and neither did it work to flatter me. I don’t understand everything that was shown to me, but I refuse to be held accountable for not saving someone else the trouble when this is actively happening. 

I hate doing this. I hate that among everything I ever stood for, stood with others for, that I have to call out someone I used to think the world of with many of our adventures for the eyes to see. 

Let this be the wake up call he desperately needed. It’s not okay to treat women like this. It’s not okay to turn people against each other because females “can’t co-exist.” This is not RP, this is not art, and this is harmful. I’m sorry to anyone else who may be keeping quiet, among those who have come towards me to talk it out. 

There are many more screens, much more context, and evidence. I tried to keep this as un-biased and relevant as possible to keep the points clear with context to support so that others are aware that this is how he is. 

Let this post be an awareness that this behavior is not okay. Let it be a warning and a consideration on how you treat others. Let others see how you can be, and change. You’re capable of being better, as I can also improve, because I am in no way a perfect person. 

Thank you to those that have come forward and spoken to me. 

[girlactionfigure]

Heart Doctor with Heart

He won the Nobel Peace Prize

Dr. Bernard Lown was a Jewish immigrant from Lithuania who invented the heart defibrillator, transforming the field of cardiology and saving countless lives. He was a passionate peace activist who won the Nobel Prize for co-founding Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War.

Born to an erudite Jewish family in Lithuania in 1921, Bernard and his father, a rabbi, emigrated to Maine soon after his bar mitzvah to escape Nazi persecution. He attended the University of Maine, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in zoology, and then went to medical school at Johns Hopkins. As someone who’d fled his country because of ethnic hatred, he was especially sensitive to racism, and caused controversy in medical school for inviting a black doctor to speak on public health issues in the African-American community. Bernard was briefly expelled from school for protesting the segregation of blood in the hospital’s blood bank.

After receiving his MD in 1945, Bernard married his cousin Louise Lown. Their marriage would last 73 years. He said, “When you ask about my heroes, clearly I have many – my wife Louise foremost.” In the 1950’s, Bernard became a physician and researcher at Harvard Medical School, specializing in cardiology. He also taught at the Harvard Chan School of Public Health, where he was among the first to emphasize the crucial role of nutrition in treating and preventing many illnesses including heart disease.

As a young cardiologist, Bernard’s mentor was Dr. Samuel Levine, who encouraged him to study the common practice of putting heart attack patients on bed rest for 4-6 weeks, which often led to pulmonary embolisms. In what became known as the “Levine Chair study,” Bernard found that having patients sit in a comfortable chair improved outcomes significantly. This simple discovery changed the standard of practice for heart patient care.

Bernard was determined to find a way to prevent the most common cause of death: cardiac arrest. After hearing about cases where patients were resuscitated with an AC electric shock, which was very dangerous, Bernard wanted to find a safer type of electric current. He worked with fellow Eastern European refugee Baruch Berkovitz, an electrical engineer, and after a year of intensive research, in 1961 Bernard developed a new defibrillator that used a DC current. It was so safe and effective that the DC defibrillator soon became the universally accepted treatment for cardiac arrest.

Bernard pioneered the use of the drug lidocaine to treat heart disorders. In 1965 at Brigham Hospital in Boston, Bernard  organized one of the first coronary care units focused on the prevention of heart rhythm disorders. He proved that continuous EKG monitoring and well-trained nurses could identify arrhythmias early and save lives. Bernard founded the Lown Cardiovascular Research Foundation in 1973 to promote heart health through research and global education.

His research had an extraordinary impact on the practice of clinical medicine around the world. “The physician is not a glorified repairman of a broken-down machine; being treated is a human being with a mind and a soul.” He listened to his patients and considered them his partners in healing. Bernard wrote many bestselling books including “The Lost Art of Healing” and “Practicing the Art While Mastering the Science.”

In addition to his enormous contributions to the medical field, Bernard was a lifelong peace activist. He founded Physicians for Social Responsibility in 1961 because “you cannot be committed to health without being engaged in social struggle for health.” As the Vietnam War ramped up, Bernard organized the Committee of Responsibility to Save War Burned and War Injured Children, and brought about 100 seriously injured Vietnamese children to the United States for medical treatment.

In 1980 Bernard and Soviet cardiologist Dr. Eugene Chazov co-founded International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Bernard said, “This was the greatest political issue of our time, because it didn’t just mean the death of an individual, but the death of multitudes. Why would doctors not get involved?” The doctors lobbied their countries for a moratorium on nuclear testing and building nuclear weapons, and held the first IPPNW World Congress, which attracted 80 medical leaders from twelve countries. In the next few years the group opened chapters in more than 60 countries and had over 200,000 physician members. For alerting people to the very real danger of nuclear war, IPPNW won the 1985 Nobel Peace Prize.

In his acceptance speech, “A Prescription for Hope,” Bernard said, “The ‘myth of the other,’ the stereotyping and demonizing of human beings beyond recognition, is still pervasive and now exacts inordinate economic, psychological and moral costs.” Incredibly, at the awards ceremony, a Russian journalist collapsed from cardiac arrest. Bernard and his Russian counterpart Dr. Chazov rushed to resuscitate the reporter and save his life. “When crisis comes, Soviet and American cardiologists cooperate,” Bernard said. His book “Prescription for Survival,” focusing on his anti-war activism, came out in 2008. That year, the Bernard Lown Peace Bridge was dedicated in Lewiston Maine.

Bernard was concerned about overtreating patients – ordering tests and procedures that often did more harm than good – and in 2012 he helped organize “Avoiding Avoidable Care,” the first global conference dedicated to the issue of overtreatment. He said, “Do as much as possible for the patient, and as little as possible to the patient.”

Dr. Bernard Lown died on February 16, 2021 at 99 years old. He is survived by three children, five grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. His wife Louise died in 2019.

For saving lives and creating peace, we honor Dr. Bernard Lown as this week’s Thursday Hero.

Accidental Talmudist

[chaotically-cas]

29 Things I Think Allistic People Need To Hear

From an autistic person

Not my usual content but I felt it needed to be said.

Saying “everyone is a little autistic” is really hurtful. Yes, everyone has their struggles but these struggles are far different for autistic people. Saying everyone experiences it is invalidating & harmful.

Being graded on eye contact & standing still is wrong. I’m pretty sure at one point or another we’ve had a project we were graded on & one of the grades was eye contact & not fidgeting. These things are extremely hard for autistic people & they are practically second nature. It’s like holding in a sneeze.

Stim & figget toys in schools. Of course fidget spinner’s & stim cubes can be bought & should be bought by anyone. If you want one, get one. But the way schools are banning them is crazy. They are very necessary for autistic people & it’s so much harder for them when schools ban their use.

QUITTTTT BABYING US!! We aren’t ‘uwu babies’. We are humans. We are perfectly capable of functioning without allistic people’s pity & looking down on us. We are our own people that don’t need a hand to hold in every damn situation. We aren’t cute because of it. 

Listen to autistic people. Everyone is all for advocating for people until that group of people want to advocate for themselves. So shut up & listen once & maybe you can learn something you didn’t know.

Creative writing in class is difficult. You don’t know how many bad grades I’ve gotten on because I can’t think of a good story out of my ass. It’s extremely hard for autistic people. Please give us a prompt it’s more helpful than you know.

Role playing in class. I think we’ve all had to do something where we research a famous person & have to assume their identity. This is again, so hard for autistic people. It’s hard enough for us to be ourselves. Most of us can’t understand these actives enough.

Slurs. Quit saying retard. It’s not an insult. It’s not funny. It’s offensive & every time you use it you’re hurting a disabled person & spreading harmful stereotypes. It’s not just a word. It’s not just a bad word. It’s a slur. Same as the f word or any other slur. Don’t use it.

People talking over us. No I dont mean just in conversations. Although that is another issue. I mean organizations like autism speaks that put words into autistic peoples mouths instead of letting them speak for themselves.

Stop making fun of our special interests. Whether you find anime cringey or think an adult loving Aladdin is childish just stop it. These things being extreme joy to us. They make us happy in a word that we don’t understand. So just leave us alone & let us be happy.

Don’t stare at us if we’re stimming. Especially in public. If you see me flapping my hands. Don’t stare. If you hear me humming quietly, don’t judge. These activities aren’t for your viewing pleasure. They’re for autistic people to regulate & express how they’re feeling.

Normalizing ableism. It’s so normalized. Whether it’s phrased like “suffers from autism” or how regularly ‘retard’ is used in classe; ableism is so often over looked especially by adults. There are no many micro aggressions they are just passed off as us not having a thick enough skin. When in reality it’s really damaging.

People first language. If you ever correct someone by saying “no, they’re a PERSON with autism. Not an autistic person”. Literally shut up. We’re autistic. We’re people. Being autistic doesn’t make us any less human so you don’t need to make it seem like it does. We’re still human no matter our disably. People don’t have to be reminded of this.

Using words like psychopath & sociopath. Calling autistic people these things just because you don’t understand us is disgusting. If you don’t understand these terms don’t use them. Just because we aren’t good at showing empathy in some cases doesn’t make us ‘psychopaths’.

Tone indicators. This is both the over use & not using them that’s an issue. Saying things like “/j /hj /sarcasm /srs /lh” all in one post defeats the whole damn purpose of them. & not using any at all especially when joking around or using sarcasm can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. It’s not that hard to use one or two at the end of a post. /srs

Picky eating. Literally stop making fun of autistic people for not liking a lot of foods or ordering the same thing at every restaurant. A lot of textures & flavors are very bothersome to autistic people. They can cause overstimulation or even panic. Just let us be. So I eat mac & cheese 4 times a week. I didn’t know it effected you so much.

“Ugh you’re so annoying you can’t ever get a joke”. No hearing that is what’s annoying. Tones are hard for us to understand so while most people pick up on it autistic people are more likely to read too much into it or take it seriously. It’s simple to use tone indicators in text or even to say “I’m joking”. It won’t make your joke less funny. It’ll just help us understand more.

Be specific if you want things from us. Don’t just say “hey I need a pencil”. Or “the dishwasher needs put away”. Most likely we’ll just be like, yeah, ok, and? Be specific please. Say things like “can I borrow a pencil?” or “can you undo the dishwasher?”.

Faces seeming to look weird. A lot of us having facial stims that can alter our faces. Whether it’s excessive blinking, eyebrow raising, or face scrunches. Don’t ask us what’s wrong with our face or what we are doing. For me, because of my facial stims & tics my eyes/eyebrows are permanently uneven. Don’t bring it up.

Classroom behavior charts are horrible. Autistic people don’t behave the same as allistic people. Simple as that. What they see as ok behavior, others don’t. & some times they don’t realize these behaviors will get them in trouble.

Police brutality. Especially in black or brown autistic people. It’s so common that people call the police on autistic people stimming in public because they are seen as dangerous. & when these autistic people can’t understand what’s going on or can’t make eye contact they are labeled as more suspicious. Especially black autistic people. Just look at Elijah McLean.

Feeling dumb. Especially in schools or other scholarly conversations. Some autistic people aren’t able to keep up or fully understand everything that’s being said or presented. Which leads to us feeling dumb. Give us time to process or aso questions please.

Feeling robotic. You’ve most likely heard autistic people being compared to robots at one point or another. Whether that’s for the impaired ability to establish empathy or something else it’s an extremely negative & hurtful stereotype. Especially in media.

Saying ‘I forgot’ is a valid excuse. There is so much going on in our heads. So much to process & remember. We forget things. Everyone forgets things. Especially autistic people. Please don’t yell at us for always forgetting to do the dishes. It’s not like we chose to forget.

The harmful effects of the vaccines cause autism jokes. Aside from the whole anti vaxers debate, perpetually the idea that we shouldn’t be vaccinated because it causes autism is disgusting. It’s treating autism like a disease. Like the person who has it isn’t worthy. Or that autism is so chronic it will ruin everything. It’s like people avoiding cheese burgers because it’s rumored they make you ginger. It’s preposterous. 

Yelling at autistic people for struggling to want to learn new concepts/concepts at all. This not only goes for in school but in just normal conversation. It’s hard for autistic people to grasp things they don’t have an interest in learning. So please don’t yell at us for not understanding everything about a band that we don’t care about, we would if we could. It might not seem like a big issue but it happens more than you’d think.

Intrusive thoughts. (Tw: rape mention & violence) Most of the time autistic people experience extreme spells of intrusive thoughts “omg he’s going to rape you image him raping you” or “stab yourself in the side right now” or much worse. & when autistic (and other) people try to talk about it they are labeled crazy or insane. It’s a normal occurrence to have these kinds of thoughts. We don’t want to. But they happen. That’s why they’re called intrusive.

Executive disfunction. This is basically when autistic people are views as lazy but we physically & mentally just can’t. Where tasks as seemingly simple as going to get a glass of water feels like a mountain to autistic people. It’s not that we are lazy. We physically & mentally can’t work up to it.

Class rank & graduation requirements are unfair. Autistic people socialize differently. It’s just a fact. Our brains work differently in classes & outside of it. We could be working our asses off to understand our English class book, but we get an F. Not to mention how most schools require community service hours to graduate. Yes community service is good but it can be very hard for autistic people.

Please feel free to add on but a lot of these are drawn from personal frustrations. Please listen to autistic & other disabled people more. All these also applies to those with ADHD/ADD or any other mental illness where the situations apply. You’re all valid & amazing.

I love you all. 💕

[vanillameadow]

going on a rant but fuck it.

I’ve heard/seen several people in marginalized communities say that they want “any kind of movie” instead of the traumatic side of their experience. i want to talk about WHY we get those movies, or at least my theories.

a lot of movies centering around marginalized people that end up popular are not made by people in that group. we all know this. they get market power because a white cishet person agreed that another white cishet person’s narrative was what should be shared. and often this narrative is about how we’re suffering.

but why?

i’ll tell you why: because we still aren’t people to them.

this display of our suffering is only to validate how they feel about us. to them, our experience isn’t positive, it isn’t well-rounded. they think we deserve to suffer, and that’s exactly the kind of thing these movies reinforce. it normalizes our pain, when it SHOULDN’T be. it shouldn’t be normal for gay kids to be hated for their sexuality, trans kids their gender, BIPOC their skin color, etc. but these movies let people think persecution is just a part of being in one of these communities. when it shouldn’t be.

it reveals that they can’t think of us as “normal people” at all. we don’t get these movies because we’re “rare” even though we aren’t, or bc our experiences are different and hard to write, which is true. but they aren’t even willing to put in the work, to talk to these people they’re writing about, and make that effort. why should they? it’s not like our opinions matter to them. they never have.

our suffering is just entertainment for y’all and i’m sick of it

u can watch these movies and be fine with it, u can watch our experiences be manipulated and warped and not live with the consequences, but we have to. it doesn’t end when we leave the theater, or change the channel, or WHATEVER. it will never end unless y’all stop doing this shit. i don’t wanna see someone making pain-porn out of my fucking trauma, my life, my worst fears. if you care so much about how we suffer, then ADDRESS THE CAUSE, instead of making a fucking movie. if it doesn’t educate people and isn’t a call to action, then it’s fucking worthless and actively harmful. fuck you.

i want more movies with LGBT+ & BIPOC characters. more movies with neurodivergent characters. more movies with realistic, non-dramatic portrayals of mentally ill people. shows, books, any kind of media or story that isn’t basically “heterosexual white couple, and whatever happens to be going on around them”

(also fuck split/glass and music and any other fucking film that treats people who aren’t : able-bodied, cishet, and white like trash)

[bumpytoad]

== Alterhumans, Otherkin, Therians, and Related Lifestyles and Identities ==

Some (biological) humans are just more connected to nature and more primal things than others. They're often inspired by early humans, animal shows, cartoons, anime, children's books, sci-fi, and such, as well as an interest in science and science books and textbooks regarding their favorite species. There are neurodivergent and other folks who are more prone to imprinting than others, and those whose special interests become part of how they identify. These are some reasons why folks might identify differently in this way.

It's not about literally becoming another species, though it depends on the individual how far they want to go to be comfortable or happy. A lot of it is aesthetic, as a way of connecting with a certain species/their target species, and/or consists of harmless behavioral traits that seem more animal-like. It's self-expression.

Clothing such as t-shirts with one's theriotype/kintype/alterhuman identity, cosmetics/face paint, headbands and hats with ears and such, tails that clip on one's pants, animal-like contact lenses, tattoos, piercings, and sometimes body modifications, etc., are often part of how Alterhumans signal their identity and express themselves and feel comfortable.

A lot of Alterhumans have deep spiritual experiences and spiritual explanations for their differences, or just say it's a harmless mental/psychological difference. For some, it's even a coping mechanism, and this is valid because it still shapes them psychologically, and shapes their identity as Alterhuman. Others create their own personal harmless mythological narratives about themselves which become real to them. And yet for others, it's like an artistic outlet. It can also be about being highly imaginative. What's wrong with that? You can be highly imaginative, express that and add mystical whimsy to the world, and still be grounded in reality. Imagination is a very important part of who someone is, and some are more imaginative than others, or place much more importance on expressing their imagination, and they just want to live their truth. There's no reason to suppress harmless self-expression. Imagination deserves to be taken very seriously. It's a large part of someone's personal well-being.

It's certainly not a delusion. If there are some folks who believe themselves to be Alterhuman in a delusional way, such as believing they can fly like a bird or can engage in physiological shape-shifting, and they try to reach out to the Alterhuman community, surely others in the community aren't going to enable their delusions, unless those individuals are unfortunate enough to get mixed up with others who have similar delusions and deny biological reality. In this case, it would have to be a very insular echo chamber though, like a clique or small dangerous cult, and it certainly wouldn't be representative of the wider Alterhuman community. The wider community would denounce it and try to direct these individuals to seek proper mental help and treatment.

Autistic folks are highly representative of the population of the Otherkin/Therian community, though not all are Autistic. Many are just different (for instance, regarding spiritual beliefs) or even Alternative. Many are LGBTQIA+. Most Otherkin/Therians would be considered nerds. A significant portion of them work in IT.

A lot of the time, these other identities and identity labels overlap with each other strongly, and there is a higher likelihood that if someone identifies as Autistic, that they will identify as multiple minorities, and this includes being Alterhuman, Alternative, and/or LGBTQIA+, among many other minority identities. This is because sense of identity is naturally much more fluid in Autistics, and then solidifies when something moves us to connect with it strongly.

Also, those who are different in one way may end up being different in other ways as well, due to growing up differently and therefore being able to see things differently, or even taking the initiative of opening one's mind and actively discovering things in the world and therefore developing new self-awareness, or awakening to new experiences of identity.

Autistic people like something and empathize with it so much that we identify as it or with it and need to be surrounded by it and comforted by it. Autistics have great and profound empathy and emotions. In that sense, Alterhuman identities are absolutely real without there having to be beliefs involved. It can be neurological.

There are extremely rare examples of imprinting in childhood in the form of "wild children" raised by wolves and other species. While being Alterhuman isn't usually exactly the same, and Alterhumans for the most part are raised by humans and don't have entirely animalistic traits (Though they often connect with the majority of humans differently because they're different and don't relate as much or as easily), there might be a few similarities and it just goes to show that identifying with or as another species can be a natural thing for humans. Identity is complicated. There are areas in the brain that cause folks to form their identities differently, as well as mirror neuron differences, and these aren't bad or disordered things. One might have a slight difference in the identity-forming part of the brain, and all it takes is a TV show to influence it, for instance. What does it matter? These individuals are not mentally ill, just divergent.

As for the spiritual nature of it, it can somewhat be related to First Nations and indigenous beliefs, or else what's been labelled as shamanism, but not quite. It's its own thing and always has been, and also, folks who are Alterhuman have always existed, but it can be traced back more officially to the 70s when Alterhumans began to organize and establish themselves as a social group, and thus began to gain more recognition.

Some make it spiritual by having a belief in other dimensions, parallel universes, or the multiverse. Some believe in reincarnation. Some believe that everything thought of could become true somewhere, or else that perhaps there are extraterrestrial races with their kintype, or perhaps they are simply individual beings of their own unspecified type or design. Perhaps we are more than our physical bodies, or we can even change form in the afterlife or through transhumanism.

Morphological freedom is good. As our technology grows, there will be more we can do with it. A lot of Autistic folks tend to love transhumanism and morphological freedom is related to transhumanism, and has a great deal of relation to Alterhuman identities.

There are folks here and now who have pushed the boundaries of morphological rights such as Stalking Cat. These are pioneers and have taken physical risks to their bodies through surgeries. As of now, when it comes to body modifications, there are limitations on what can be done. It obviously can't make you exactly like your Theriotype/Kintype/Alterhuman type. Therefore, you have to be careful and cognizant of the risks of anything irreversible or difficult to reverse that can potentially cause serious harm if it goes wrong or you don't take well to the changes, though surgical body modification is an option that gets sought out by those who need it.

It must be reiterated that Alterhuman-identified individuals do not outright reject the biological fact that they are human. Being Alterhuman is completely different from the state of being non-human. It's very possible to have shifting states of consciousness and a brain that forms one's identity differently, and these are still "human" experiences, in the sense of being experienced through a human type of brain.

And perhaps there are Alterhumans who simply reject human society. And, you know, when one is Neurodivergent, and when Neurotypicals are too often considered the default standard of being human, it's not that difficult to understand why the concept of "being human" or "humanity" regarded as a collective reality is rejected, and especially the BS concept of "personhood."

[scripttorture]

Sorry for the multiple asks. In Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom's parents were tortured to what I assume is catatonia by the cruciatus curse. Is this a realistic portrayal of the effects of torture, or does it involve some degree of magical handwaving? If realistic, then would you mind suggesting some avenues, both grounded in reality and more fantastical, by which their condition may be helped?

So I had a long answer written out for this and then it got eaten and I’d deleted my backup (both of them) and don’t you just despise technology sometimes? Join me as I scream into the void.

 Once more, from the top-

 No need to apologise for multiple asks. They are in fact encouraged. I’d rather you looked for answers to your questions then assumed you already know the answer. Thank you for coming to me. Thank you for taking an interest. It really does mean a lot to me to see people engaging with the subject. :)

 It’s been a long time since I read Harry Potter. From what I can remember I don’t think the books handled torture survivors well.

 I think this particular portrayal landed smack bang in ‘torture makes victims passive’. It was also pretty explicitly using that misconception about torture survivors being unable to live full, happy lives or make any kind of recovery.

 You could make the argument that these are magical, rather then the effects of torture. But I don’t think Rowling did any work to show that was the case. From what I can remember the stuff that’s actually in the books just suggests the curse causes pain and… that’s it.

 Which doesn’t stop you from trying to make a bad portrayal better.

 @scriptshrink is the mental health professional in the family and may disagree. From what I can remember I don’t think the description of the Longbottoms in the books was exactly catatonia. It seemed more like a combination of catatonia and late stage dementia to me.

 Which creates a bit of a problem for a narrative arc if you want to treat these characters in a more realistic way. Because catatonia is easily treated now with drugs and late stage dementia is… there’s basically no effective treatment. There are things patients can be given to slow the progression of dementia but what they’ve lost is gone. (I’ve spent quite a long time around people with various forms of dementia and I’m going to cite experience as my source there).

 The reason that’s an issue for a narrative is that there really isn’t a middle ground between ‘take this pill to recover’ and ‘there is no treatment at all’. And that’s not on you, it’s on the source material.

 So, suggestion time: I do have a few different ideas depending on what you want from a recovery arc and how you want to characterise Wizard culture in your story.

 Let’s assume that (like catatonia) this fugue state survivors of the curse are in is easily treatable. What happens when you take it away? When survivors are present, not dissociating and remember what happened to them?

 Well suddenly you get confronted with an actual torture survivor with all the loud, messy, complex mental health problems that implies.

 And if you don’t know a lot about mental health? Then it looks like you went from someone who is calm and ‘at peace’ to someone who is incredibly distressed and obviously in pain. It also means you went from someone biddable and ‘easy to handle/care for’ to someone who is exponentially less likely to put up with shit. Someone who demands explanations, cries hysterically, has panic attacks or flashbacks.

 With that sort of big visceral difference- A culture that doesn’t know how to deal with mental illness might well decide survivors are ‘better off’ in that fugue state.

 Because it would probably be easier to take care of a quiet, unemotional drone then to deal with trying to help someone with severe, complex mental health problems.

 With that kind of cultural background the dementia-like state might actually be the result of the treatment survivors are given. Because they’re ‘better off this way’.

 This would give you a much more traditional recovery arc in your story but by its nature demands a narrative discussion of how mentally ill people are treated by society. Which may not be something you want in the story.

 The other main suggestion I had was to treat this fugue state and this unrealistic depiction of memory loss as if it’s part of the curse itself.

 The cruciatus curse is supposed to be designed to cause the maximum amount of pain, so why not factor lasting generational pain into that? Stripping away important, foundational memories with longer use of the curse seems like it could be an additional terror tactic.

 ‘It doesn’t matter if they survive. It doesn’t matter if you rescue them. You’ll never get them back.’

 In that kind of scenario you’d probably end up with a different recovery arc, one that’s as much about magic as mental health. And I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing when you’re explicitly dealing with something magical.

 If you wanted a plot line involving some kind of magical quest this would be a really good fit. I think it would also work well with a more… straight forwardly heroic story? There’d be less of the cultural and moral arguments that are naturally brought up if you’re talking about cultural attitudes to different medical treatments. It would also be a good pick if you want to lean into the intelligence/research skills of some of the canon characters: a combination of cleverness and compassion resulting in a breakthrough that saves the day.

 I’ll finish off with a short general discussion about writing torture survivors realistically and writing them in fantasy.

 I’ve got a post on the common long term symptoms of torture here. And I’ve got a post on what memory problems look like in survivors here.

 We don’t have a way to predict symptoms. Different individual survivors get different sets of symptoms and we’re not sure why. Because of that variation I think that it’s best to treat symptoms as a writing choice.

 Pick symptoms based on what you think adds to the story and creates interesting narrative opportunities. If a symptom emphasises the themes in your story, creates good opportunities to show the readers something about the characters or makes for interesting conflict then it’s a good choice. Conversely if a particular symptom doesn’t appeal to you or you don’t want to write it for any reason, feel free to choose something different.

 I stress realism and writing survivors realistically. I don’t do that because I think fiction ‘must’ be realistic. I do it because the ways we choose to break with reality matter.

 And right now most of the ways we choose to be unrealistic tacitly support/condone torture.

 The majority of the time that’s not the author’s intention. I certainly don’t think it was Rowling’s intention here. (I’ll admit I haven’t been keeping up with her string of controversies but I don’t think active support for torture was ever among them.)

 But these tropes keep getting repeated. Partly because finding accurate information on torture is hard. It’s difficult to search for. It often costs money. A lot of it just isn’t translated (I’m actually saving up to get a bunch of core texts translated into English when the plague is over.) And oh boy do not get me started on the lack of inter-disciplinary communication because I will go off like an unplanned quench of an NMR’s super magnets.

 These are issues that hamper academic researchers to a huge degree. It’s no wonder they impact non-specialists trying to make sense of this mess.

 Having said all of that: I think that we should make space for metaphor and fantastical elements in our fiction.

 The issue is passing off tropes that are unrealistic and harmful as if they’re fact.

 I have significant issues with portraying torture survivors as passive objects. I think it really hampers general understanding of torture and ethical treatment of survivors today. It encourages people to think that real survivors are ‘faking it’ because they don’t look like the passive objects we see portrayed in fiction.

 That said, if a story explicitly states that what it’s doing is magical and unrealistic, it should be less of an issue.

 I do not think that’s what Rowling did in this particular portrayal. I think she presented a curse that the audience was supposed to read as only causing extreme pain and she linked that to the idea of pain turning people into passive objects. You can remove the magic from this scenario and it’s unmistakably torture apologia.

 But I can imagine alternatives where a fantasy story could separate these things out. It would be hard work and require a lot more focus on the curse itself.

 Say you have a fantasy story that takes one of the non-Western approaches to ideas about human souls. Particularly the idea that our memories and experience constitute a separate spiritual part of ourselves.

 Magic that stole and imprisoned that portion of someone would, by the logic of the magic system, create something a little like this catatonia/late-stage-dementia symptom set Rowling presents. And I think if that was presented, divorced from ideas about pain and what suffering ‘should’ do to people- Well it’s no longer really talking about torture. It’s talking about a fantastical scenario.

 We’re not really used to thinking through the implications of where we break with reality. But it does get easier with practice.

 I hope that helps. :)

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Disclaimer

[friends4prisoners]

3 Ways to Support Prisoner Pen Pals

Many people develop prisoner pen pal relationships as a way to support those who are incarcerated. Sending letters to prisoners is a great way to help them through their isolation inside the prison walls. Like any pen pal, there are certain things to keep in mind when writing to a prisoner online. There are several ways you can connect with inmates looking for pen pals.

1. Write to Someone You Know

If you know someone who is currently incarcerated, consider writing to them to provide some emotional support. If they are interested in corresponding with you, you can start a prisoner pen pal relationship. Reach out and ask if they would be interested in communicating while they are there. Explain your intentions and why you are interested in writing back and forth. Some prisoners may not want to correspond, and that is okay. It is their choice. Before you start a relationship, make sure you have good intentions for writing. Receiving letters is a great way to boost prisoners’ spirits. But you don’t want to leave them disappointed. Make sure you set clear expectations and boundaries and follow through with your promises. The last thing you want to do is end up causing more harm than good. If you are going to write someone you know, you’ll need to get their mailing address. You can talk to someone close to them or contact the prison to ask for the inmate’s specific address. Be sure to include all necessary information when addressing the envelope, so it gets to the right place.

2. Find Prisoner Pen Pals Online

Another way to connect with an inmate pen pal is to use an inmate pen pal registry like Friends 4 Prisoners. We provide profiles of inmates looking for a pen pal. You can browse through photos of current inmates and learn more about their interests. Be sure to choose an inmate with the exact expectations as you. You don’t want to pick someone looking for a romantic relationship when you are looking for a friend or someone to mentor. In your first letter, introduce yourself and provide some basics about who you are. Be careful not to give any information that is too personal. You can describe your hobbies, interests, and a short personal description. However, stay away from giving out your full name and address. Introduce yourself as if you are meeting someone for the first time. Add some words of encouragement and mention some things you found in their profile that sparked your writing interest.

3. Continue the Friendship

Finally, the best thing you can do once your relationship continues is to keep the correspondence coming. Remember to be open and honest. Treat your inmate pen pal with courtesy and respect. If at any point you want to stop communications, let them know. Don’t simply cut off your contact. This can be very disheartening to inmates. Give your prisoner pen pals something to respond to by asking questions in your letters. This will help break the ice initially and keep the conversation going long-term. Be careful not to ask about why they are incarcerated. Instead, discuss your hobbies, interests, favorite activities, books, and music. Let your pen pal share that information with you when they are ready. Steer clear of more serious questions until your relationship progresses, and you both feel more comfortable with one another. Be patient. If you don’t get a response right away, don’t give up. Remember, the mail is slow for prison inmates, and their internet time is limited. Their emails are screened before being distributed, so it can take much longer for you to get a response. Take some time to research the prison’s guidelines for correspondences. Watch your language in your letters and stay positive. As your communication continues, do your best to remember special occasions. Birthdays can be lonely for inmates, so try to send a special letter if they share their birthday with you. This can be incredibly encouraging. You can also send cards or letters on special holidays.

Do You Want to Support a Prisoner Pen Pal? Check Out Our Prisoner Profiles Today!

If you want to support an inmate pen pal, you’ve come to the right place! Our program connects individuals with prisoners looking for a pen pal online. You can browse through our current prisoner profiles here.

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

Hanji POV

I was giving a pep talk to my squad when I saw (Y/N) talking to Levi. We were about to leave the walls in a few moments. For a second, I think I saw shorty with a warm expression. It was surprising really, given that he always looked like a "constipated brat" in his own words. What was more surprising was that he found himself someone shorter than he is. When we were called to the lift, I saw (Y/N) and Levi giving each other some really intense looks and talking about something.

God knows what these two were talking about given that their looks could make new recruits piss their pants. Levi walked away from her when the lift arrived and stood beside me on the lift. I saw (Y/N) move slightly to stand with the crowd.

"Yo shorty, what were all those intense looks about?" I nudged Levi to which he answered, "Shut it shitty glasses". I smiled at his usual behaviour. Seems like even love can't change some things. I sighed at the thought. Moblit and I weren't able to go on a date because of how busy I was with my experiments. I need to make it up to him after the expedition if both of us come back alive. As the lift creaked up, someone shouted from the crowd, " HEY HANJI!". I looked down and saw, "Flegel?" I muttered, curious that he was shouting my name out. "TAKE BACK WALL MARIA! THE FUTURE OF MANKIND IS IN YOUR HAAAANDS!" he shouted.

Following his lead, many others shouted out encouragements. Some thanked Levi for saving the town and to that Levi muttered, "Someone's got a big mouth". " Well, with the commotion we made, of course they'd find out." I muttered, answering Levi. The replacement for Mike said, "The thing is, all the meat we ordered was from the Reeves company." The replacement for Squad leader Ness merely said, "Damn that Flegel".

Suddenly, I heard people beside us shouting "YEAH YOU CAN COUNT ON US!". I turned and saw Levi squad shouting out to the people. Other soldiers were muttering about how the Survey corps never had a send off like this before. Erwin replied to them by saying, "As far as I'm aware, this is a first" before starting to shout himself. Both Levi and I looked at him surprised. I looked down at the crowd to see (Y/N) gaping at the sight too. After all, this was completely unexpected for someone as calm as Erwin.

(Y/N) POV

It was surprising to see Uncle Erwin so excited about an expedition. Specially, one that could cause many casualties. The Survey Corps were gone after a while and the crowd dispersed. I went back to the Survey corps Headquarters to get my squad to help me receive all the furniture and make my home liveable. "I have a home now..." I thought gleefully. I finally was able to find happiness. I took my horse back from the stable and galloped towards the headquarter.

When I opened the door to the common room, I saw my squad complaining about not being able to join the expedition.

[(Y/N) Squad/ Special operations squad 2:

(Y/N) squad was supposed to be one of the four commanding squads beside Levi squad, Hanji squad and Drik squad but due to her pregnancy leave, Marlene squad was a temporary replacement for her.

Members:

Diana Becker: A graduate from 103 trainee corps. Very good at communicating with other soldiers and after being trained by (Y/N), 3DMG techniques are improving. Appointed as (Y/N)'s second in command.

Heinrich Fischer: A transfer from Garrison from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is medic. Good at 3DMG and getting better with (Y/N)'s training. Excellent at hand to hand combat according to (Y/N) as he was the only person who knew the right strategy to use on (Y/N), losing nonetheless. Not too good in social skills

Stefan Wagner: A graduate from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is Veterinarian. Good at 3DMG and improving. Good at social skills and will implement any command given as flawlessly as possible.

Marie Schwarz: A military police transfer from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is dealing with finance. A serious soldier who is good at almost all sectors except hand to hand combat due to a lacking in understanding of the enemy's moves but that could be improved by team activities. However, it seems like she had difficulty with authority, specially (Y/N)'s.]

"Damn it... This was one important expedition and we couldn't join... They will all be awarded as heroes when they return and we will only be watching.." Heinrich complained to the other bored soldiers as I walked in. They were all seniors in case of Trainee corps records but younger than myself by a few years given that I joined a bit late. "Heinrich, if you are so keen on being Titan fodder, go ahead, take your horse and follow them. They haven't gone too far yet." I told him, shutting him up.

"Sorry, squad leader (Y/N). He was just being an ass" Diana muttered, smacking Heinrich on his head. They probably were in a relationship or something, given that I walked onto them kissing one time. I pretended I didn't see it though. "Well, be thankful that you aren't fighting Titans with your lives in your hands and instead you're helping me with decorating my home. I want you all at my home in 30 minutes. I'll be going to the furniture store and getting the furniture." I ordered them as they answered with a "Hai!" before I left for the furniture store. It was already getting dark. I took my horse there, paid the furniture makers, rented a wagon and with the help of the furniture maker's apprentice, took all the furniture home. The squad was already home and with their help, I started arranging the house.

"Diana, go arrange the kitchen utensils. Stefan and Heinrich, move that shelf away from the window." I commanded. Most of the house was already decorated. I just needed to get the bedsheets arranged, bring all of Levi's and my own books from the headquarters, except of course, the work related ones. "Marie, we are going to get the books" I commanded her and we went to the headquarter.

It took a while to arrange all the books as I did that by dividing the books by genres. After the whole decoration process was done, I thanked the squad and dismissed them. It was about 10 pm when I started cleaning the house. After an hour of cleaning, I felt like the house was clean enough for Levi's standards and I locked the front gate and went back to the headquarter. We weren't supposed to be living in this house till we get married. I was tired beyond measures after all the work and decided to pass out on the bed.

A few hours later

Levi POV

"Looks like the beast titan has us in it's sights. This place is about to turn into a honeycomb. Erwin, if you tell me there's no way left for us to fight back, I'll start preparing for defeat." I told Erwin. This operation was meaningless. Of course there was no chance of victory after this. If we had to get some survivors... I would have to give up my life... Would (Y/N) be okay with it? I'm sure she would be devastated... But I had to do this. For humanity and for a good future of my child... Can (Y/N) raise him on her own? "It could be a she too you know" (Y/N)'s voice rang in my head. She always pointed that out whenever I called our child a 'he'.

"Eren's sprawled out there, right? Go wake him up. You and some of the others get on him and run. That way we'll have at least a few survivors." I continued. I remembered the last time I slept with her. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps... "The recruits and survivors from Hanji's squad can scatter on horses all at once and try to head home... How does that sound? With them acting as bait, you and the others on Eren will be able to escape." I concluded. I remember her snuggling into my arms, burying her head in my chest... "And what are you going to do, Levi?" Erwin asked me. Was that really the last time I saw her? And I really made a shitty promise that I couldn't keep that time?

"I'll deal with that beast. I'll lead him away" I answered. Am I really ready to choose humanity over her? Over our kid? "No. You can't even get close to him." Erwin stated. I remembered her rare smiles. I imagined a future where she and my kid will be safe. If this sacrifice is worth it, I can do this. "Probably not. But, if you and Eren make it back alive, there's still hope. Isn't that the kind of situation we're in now? This is a major defeat. Honestly, I'm not expecting anyone to make it home alive at this point." I replied. "True. If we don't have any way of fighting back." Erwin stated calmly. I was surprised. Did he have anything up his sleeve?

"Do you have one?" I asked him, genuinely surprised. "Yes" he stated. At this point, I was annoyed at him. What was he thinking? Why didn't he say this to me before? "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you put that ugly mouth of yours to work sooner and say something?" I asked, genuinely annoyed. "If this plan goes well, you may be able to defeat that beast. But only if we sacrifice the lives of all the recruits here, as well as mine." Erwin mentioned. Sacrificing Erwin? Didn't I promise (Y/N) that I'll keep him safe? If he makes a decision like this, how can I face (Y/N) again?

"You're absolutely right. No matter what we do, most of us will surely die. Infact, it's most likely that we will all be wiped out. So our only choice is to assume we are all expendable and work from there. We'd have to ask these young people to give up their lives. You'd need the skills of a first rate con man to come up with a reason that convincing. So I doubt any of them will charge forward unless I was leading the way. Which would mean I'd be the very first to die. Without ever learning what was in that basement." Erwin said. "Huh?" I asked, confused.

This man was about to die and all he cared about was a shitty basement? He sighed and said, "I just want to go to that basement. Everything I have done, I did thinking that this day would come. That someday, I would be able to check my answers. There were so many times that I thought it would be easier to just die. Then, the dream I shared with my father would flash through my head. And now those answers are close enough to reach out and grab... They are right here... But, Levi, can you see them? All of our comrades? Our comrades are watching us. They want to know what we will do with the hearts they dedicated to our cause. Because they may be gone but their fight isn't over. But then again, I promised (Y/N) that I will be with her at her wedding... She doesn't deserve to lose more... I broke enough promises to her before. Will the last thing I told her be a promise that I couldn't keep? Or is it all pointless and nothing more than my own childish delusion?".

I looked at Erwin for a while, my mind full of doubt. He was implying that I have to make the decision. This was much worse. (Y/N) would never forgive me. She will despise me. I might lose the only chance I ever had of having a family. Then again, didn't I decide that sacrificing my life for the safety of (Y/N) and our child was worth it? Why should this be any different? If wall Maria is captured, humanity will be much closer to victory. (Y/N) and our child will be safer. I'd rather have (Y/N) hate me than get her killed because I was weak. I knelt down in front of Erwin and told him, "You've fought a good fight. We have only come this far thanks to you. I'm making the choice. Give up on your dreams and die for us. Lead the recruits straight into hell. And I'll take down the beast titan.". To that he smiled slightly at me. "Keep (Y/N) safe. You two have my blessings." he said, startling me before he explained the plan to me.

"You want me to approach the beast by myself using vertical manoeuvring? There's nothing around him! There isn't a single tree or house or anything else I can use!" I asked Erwin, not understanding what he was talking about. "No... You have targets that are the perfect height. They are standing there all in a row aren't they? Use the titans to sneak up on and ambush the beast titan." Erwin explained.

I stood beside him as he convinced all the soldiers to give up their lives. Deep down, I knew it was all my decision. I felt revolted by myself. Does a person like me even deserve the happiness and stability of a family? When I can decide to send so many people to their deaths, bringing tragedy to so many other families... "No. I won't regret my decision now. It is all for the greater good" I convinced myself as I stood, watching the faces of people who knew they were about to die meaningless deaths.

The plan was put into action. I maneuvered towards the beast titan, killing it's titan army in progress. I saw the suicide charge down there. "I'm sorry" I told them in my mind as I slashed the napes of titans.

"Turning into titan puts a heavy strain on your body... So you can't transform again while you're busy healing. Isn't that right?" I asked the blonde man who I had cut out of the beast titan and stuffed my blade in his mouth. I pushed the blade forward, making it come out of an eye socket through his mouth before saying, "Hey, answer me. Don't you have any manners?". "I can't kill him. Not yet. Isn't there anyone still alive? It doesn't matter how injured they are as long as they are breathing... I can use this shot to turn them into a titan... Then I can have them eat this guy and steal the power of the beast titan. Isn't there anyone?" I thought. An image of Erwin passed through my mind.

"Isn't there someone I can bring back-" my thoughts were interrupted by the cart titan's mouth. I assumed that it tried to eat me but I moved away and saw it taking the beast titan and run away. "Hey! Where are you going? Stop. I'm not done with you yet..." I said, my voice sounding like a defeated person. Did I just lose to him at the last moment? The beast titan commanded the remaining titans to come at me. "Wait... I swore to him... That I'd kill you no matter what." I muttered. Anger surged into me as I continued, "I SWORE TO HIM!" as I changed my blades and charged towards the titans coming at me, slashing their napes off as fast as possible so that I could follow the beast and end him.

I flew to the wall as fast as possible to find the beast titan in front of Eren. Eren had his blade to the throat of a limbless figure, possibly the colossal titan. The beast titan saw me and started running again as I flew towards Eren. My gas finished off just as I reached Eren. "That was the last bit of gas I had. I'm going after him. Give me all your gas and blades. Hurry!" I commanded Eren just before a black figure behind him coughed faintly.

The black figure was Armin. Eren was going insane after figuring out that Armin was alive. He shouted at me excitedly to give the titan serum to Armin. A certain gut feeling made me hesitate. What if Erwin isn't dead? I was handing the serum out to Eren when Floch arrived with Erwin on his back. He said that Erwin is alive and gravely injured. I took the serum back, sure that I will inject it to Erwin. "Captain?" Eren asked, surprised and scared. I checked Erwin's nose with my hand.

"He's still breathing. He's still alive...". I can keep (Y/N)'s promise... "We're giving this injection to Erwin" I stated. Eren suddenly stood up, facing me. "You just said you'd use it on Armin.." he told me, tears streaming from his eyes. "I'm choosing to keep alive the man who will save humanity" I replied to Eren. Behind me, Mikasa got her blade out.

"You guys, do you have the faintest damn clue on what you're doing? We are talking about Erwin Smith. The commander of the Survey corps. You're telling me to sit here and let him die? There's no time. Get out of my way." I told them before Eren held the box of titan serum in my hands. "Eren, look past your feelings." I told him. "My feelings? Why did you hesitate before handing over the injection?" Eren asked me. Wasn't it obvious? I was trying to keep a promise that I made. I just had to take the chance...

"I was considering the possibility that Erwin was alive." I answered. "I don't see how you ever could ever have predicted that Floch would bring the dying commander." Eren stated. "You're right. But now that Erwin is here, we're using it on him." I told him my final decision. To my surprise, he still tugged on to the box and I had no choice other than punching him on his face, and sending him flying. Mikasa ran at me with her sword and jumped on me with her blade on my throat. Why couldn't I fight her? I was always stronger than her, but, was it guilt that made me feel this way? The fact that I probably was being selfish? That I wanted Erwin alive more for personal reasons than just the fate of humanity?

Hanji pulled Mikasa off me. She explained to her that everyone lost people dear to them today. She lost Moblit, how she regretted not going out with him even once, how she wished to bring him back too along with many other comrades. I was up on my foot now, kneeling in front of Erwin with the injection out. Suddenly, I felt someone grab my feet. "Heichou, have you heard of the ocean?" he said. He told me how much Armin wanted to see it. Floch tried to stop him but he said it anyway. I realised that he wasn't any different from me. He wanted his best friend back. I wanted (Y/N)'s happiness. I didn't have any right to choose who is to live and who is to die but at that moment, I was forced to make a choice. I chose to give in to my personal gain.

"Troops, clear the area! Erwin will turn into a titan and eat Berthold!" I commanded. "Fools, all of them... Like little kids... The way they scream and flail..." I muttered as I walked towards Erwin with Berthold. Suddenly, flashes of my conversation with Kenny came to my mind. "They couldn't keep going unless they were drunk on something..." he told me. I folded Erwin's jacket up to his elbow. I brought the injection towards his hand. "They were all slaves to something. Even him", Kenny's voice rang in my ear just as Erwin's hand shot up. " Teacher... How'd y... find out that they don't exist?" Erwin muttered.

Realisation flowed through my mind. Someone as self obsessed as Kenny decided to die when he achieved his dreams. I remembered the conversation I had with Erwin before the expedition. The one where he said that he didn't have much plans for after he finds out what was in the basement. The conversation from before the suicide march rang in my head. "There were so many times that I thought it would be easier to just die." I remembered Erwin saying that. Erwin was able to work his wonders only because of his curiosity on what was in the basement. If he found out what was in the basement, he won't have any reason to fight anymore. Sure, he loved (Y/N) but that had nothing to do with this fight. He already gave the responsibility of (Y/N)'s safety to me before the suicide march.

Even if Erwin lived, he wouldn't be able to contribute much to humanity's victory anymore. Armin on the other hand, still has a dream that was far from being achieved. "I need to keep (Y/N) and my child safe. No matter what." I thought. Erwin's death was crucial for humanity's victory. With that thought, I injected Armin with the titan serum.

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

[internet-woman]

My Son Is Bullying His Asian Classmate About the Pandemic

He’s already suspended, but how else should we punish his racism?

By Nicole Chung

March 03, 2021 5:59 AM

Dear Care and Feeding,

My 9-year-old son was recently suspended, and may be expelled, for “teasing” (bullying) an Asian American student. My son harassed the other student and regularly insinuated that he caused the pandemic and got his classmates to join in. I’m appalled. I have no idea where he heard these types of messages, because neither my husband nor I have ever even come close to suggesting anything like that. He only goes to school and comes home, so it’s not like there are other adults in his life he could have heard this from. I’ve never heard any report of him bullying others—he was actually the one being bullied last year! He’s grounded from all electronics for six months, but that doesn’t feel like enough. What is the appropriate punishment for racism?

—Mortified in Maryland

Dear Mortified,

Our kids live in the same country we do. As Beverly Daniel Tatum wrote in her book Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria, “Prejudice is one of the inescapable consequences of living in a racist society. Cultural racism … is like smog in the air. Sometimes it is so thick it is visible, other times it is less apparent, but always, day in and day out, we are breathing it in.” Even if your son didn’t hear this garbage at home, the former president spent months shouting about the “China Virus” and the “Kung Flu,” and there are still all the other kids and adults in your son’s life—plus a whole internet out there.

Resisting racist scapegoating of the type we’ve seen directed at Asians since the pandemic started requires more than the passive hope or assumption that your kid won’t hear such hateful things or believe them if he does. Given the society we live in and the narratives we’re all being exposed to whether we like it or not, helping our kids first recognize and then reject racist lies like this requires our active, ongoing work. There’s no neutral choice or position here: If we’re not challenging and educating our kids about racism, we leave them at risk of perpetuating it—or enabling it, standing by and silently watching while others are harmed. This, also from Tatum’s book, is something I think about a lot, because I know that I also have and will always have work to do in this area:

Each of us needs to look at our own behavior. Am I perpetuating and reinforcing the negative messages so pervasive in our culture, or am I seeking to challenge them? If I have not been exposed to positive images of marginalized groups, am I seeking them out, expanding my own knowledge base for myself and my children? Am I acknowledging and examining my own prejudices, my own rigid categorizations of others, thereby minimizing the adverse impact they might have on my interactions with those I have categorized? Unless we engage in these and other conscious acts of reflection and reeducation, we easily repeat the process with our children. We teach what we were taught. [emphasis mine]

You wrote asking what the “appropriate punishment” is for racism. It’s not that I think there shouldn’t be consequences for bullying, but your child has already been suspended and may be expelled. If I were you, I don’t think I’d want to get too mired in the task of meting out just the “right” punishment. All the punishment in the world isn’t going to make someone less prejudiced. Even if your kid no longer says racist things because he doesn’t want to get in trouble at home or at school, it’s his thinking you want to change—it would not be great, I’m sure you’ll agree, if he went through the world believing awful things about his fellow human beings and just not voicing them. (And let’s be real: He would probably voice them! At least, he would if the only thing currently keeping him in check is that you’ve taken his iPad.) The question is not so much “How exactly should you punish your son for the one racist thing he’s said that you’ve actually heard about?” but “How are you going to talk with him about the racist thing he did and the other racist beliefs he might be harboring?”

The good news is that you can try to teach him and redirect his thinking. He did a terrible thing, but at 9, he’s probably still reachable. (I do want to warn you that you may have only so long to intervene before he finds his way to a scary part of Reddit or a far-right site focused on recruiting.) Since the example you have is his anti-Asian racism, you can start with that: He should receive the immediate, unequivocal message that racially targeting and blaming Asian Americans for the coronavirus is wrong. He should hear this from you, and you should help him understand why. It sounds like maybe you assumed he would know better just because you never personally encouraged him to be suspicious of or hateful toward Asians. But he clearly needs more than merely the absence of conscious, stated racism—he needs you and others to have real conversations with him about this, to challenge him on his lack of compassion for his classmate as well as his biased thinking, to point out how today’s pandemic scapegoating and attacks are part of this country’s long history of anti-Asian prejudice (which, in turn, can’t be considered without confronting anti-Blackness and the violence and harm done to other communities). You can make it clear that behavior like his could feed hatred and incite violence, that that is the legacy he’s part of when he targets his Asian classmate and gets others to join in.

It’s not too harsh to tell him this—he needs you to give him the truth and to make the implicit explicit. It will take more than one conversation, and that’s OK. These discussions with our kids are meant to be frequent and ongoing, and should increase in nuance and complexity as they are able to understand more. In the end, your son may not actually change his thinking based on what you say, but he should still be told that what he did was racist, that continuing to say and believe such things is racist, and that racist statements and behavior won’t be tolerated at school or in your home.

As a kid, I too was “teased” for being Asian. It started when I was younger than your son. A particular bully lived near me, and after a typical day of having him yell slurs at me during recess (which I think I still might prefer to being accused of causing a pandemic that’s killed millions), sometimes I’d see him around the neighborhood. One afternoon I tried to call him out, albeit feebly, in his mother’s earshot—it was the only time I told an adult what was happening, even in a roundabout way, and I couldn’t tell you what got into me, unless maybe I thought his mom was the one person who’d care about his behavior. She heard me saying he was racist for making fun of my eyes and calling me “names” (I didn’t know to call them slurs). She turned to her son and said, “If this is true, I don’t know where you learned it. I thought you knew better.”

Can you understand when I tell you that, to me, it’s never really mattered where he learned it, or whether he had his Game Boy taken away, or whether his parents punished him at all? What matters is that his mother had a chance to do something that day, with the new information she had. She could have decided to take necessary, ongoing action—perhaps uncomfortable for her and her son, but morally right and potentially life-changing for a lot of people, including him. She could have followed up with meaningful questions, reached out to my parents and our teachers, and, above all, started seriously, intentionally talking with and educating her son about the humanity of all his classmates and why he shouldn’t say or believe racist things. I suspect she did none of this, though I have no proof beyond the fact that he continued being a racist and a bully. The point is, as his parent, she had an opportunity then, just like you have an opportunity now. I hope, for the sake of your kid and countless others, that you take it.