#if you are struggling with sh or any kind of mental health struggle i suggest that you seak help

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

TW sh implied

______

Mike's too scared to go swimming when the rest of the Party invites him. He's scared of the others seeing his scars. He's scared that they'll judge him. He doesn't want to deal with that. Instead, he just dips his feet in and watches his friends swim

[numbuhinfinitys]

Hey. I'm not great with mental health help or anything, but I can't help feeling awful seeing a friend/past friend, or anyone honestly, having to struggle with things like what you are(of course that doesn't mean you should hide it incase you were thinking that).

Feel like you need to be perfect for everyone? I know you likely can't help that, but please remind yourself that you're gonna have flaws. Of course, nobody *likes* flaws, but we're human, everyone has them, and everyone should try to accept it or tolerate it.

If you're disappointed in yourself about missing out on stuff with your friends, don't be. If you're going through something, you're going through something, and it's perfectly valid to take as much time as you need off things to heal.

Bottling up emotions/SH, though, isn't a good way to deal with things. If anything, it could cause more issues later on. Parents won't listen? Confide in friends, vent/su!c!de hotlines(as one commenter suggested), and hell, my arms and ears are open, even if we haven't interacted.

I'm extremely sorry if I misinterpreted anything, my wording comes off as insensitive, or my advice is kinda uncalled for. It's up to you whether or not you do any of this, and I'll respect your decision regardless. You're truly an amazing individual who doesn't deserve what's happening to you, and I hope you recognize that if you didn't already.

Please take care of yourself in every way you can. I, and many more, love you(platonically). Take your time to heal from anything that's troubling you, there's no deadline.

Sending my virtual platonic love and support,

-🍎(Added because I may start appearing more, if that's alright with you.)

Thank for you're kind words and advice.

I'm actually feeling a lot better than yesterday, thanks to my moots and friends. They made my day a lot better with their kind words and their comforting presence.

We watched a bit of Codename: Kids Next Door together and laughed at some funny screen caps we paused it on.

But I actually want to thank everyone who helped me through this.

Once again, thank you for your help.

[I genuinely don't know any vent/su1c1de hotlines, may you suggest some in the comments for me, for if it happens again?]

[mysticalhouseofcards]

✨🔮✨Bts romantic soulmates / future spouses current energy reading ✨

Hi guys 👋 I hope everyone is good 😊 I decided to do future spouses readings since all of the BTS members seems like they'll get married to their romantic soulmates except Namjoon who his romantic soulmate is a different person from his future spouse and that's why I did both romantic soulmate's and future spouse's current energy reading for him ! For those who haven't seen the pendulum reading about them getting married to their romantic soulmates click -> here

Kim Namjoon's

✨Romantic soulmate's reading✨

Current Energy

I got ✨Judgement ✨this card indicate taking responsibility for her actions and her life, being a good judge of character, seeing the truth and knowing what she wants. Judgement t card often shows up when you need to step up . It can also mean that she is getting out of a karmic circle and see more clearly around her , maybe her awakening has begun.

Hopes and Fears

I got ✨The Tower ✨This card shows me that she is afraid of the unknown , generally the feeling of being unsure and she's very much afraid that something will happen that will open old wounds of hers and that her life will get messed up once again .

How to Release

✨Page of Cups reversed ✨Reversed, this card could be advising to “get real.” She has to get her head out of the clouds and plant her feet firmly on the ground.Her emotions may be all over the place. She needs to do her best to practice emotional restraining.The Page of Cups reversed can also symbolize emotional immaturity , as advice, this card may be saying: time to grow up girl.She may also need to practice emotional detachment from a past situation.

Future

✨Page of Wands ✨With this card I'm seeing good news coming for her in the future through phone calls , emails , texts . They could be good news about any kind of situation . Also this card indicates being creative ,working on new ideas or projects with a lot of enthusiasm and passion , healed inner child and very playful attitude .

✨Future Spouse's reading✨

Current Energy

I got ✨Five of Pentacles✨,in a general context, the Five of Pentacles is not a great card to get as it represents hardship, rejection or a negative change in circumstances. She may be feeling like the world is against her and nothing is going her way. It can signify bad luck, struggles or adversity. Unemployment, alienation and poverty are all represented by this card and it can also signify health problems, breakups or scandals causing turmoil in her life. She might feeling like she's left out in the cold, but, she has to remember that this situation is only temporary and then ask herself if she's reaching out for any help or support that is available. There is help out there for her. It may be in the form of moral support from friends or family, financial assistance from social welfare, or even the kindness of strangers but whatever it is, she has to take it. Nothing lasts forever and this hardship too shall pass.

Hopes and Fears

✨Six of Cups reversed ✨ With this card I feel like she remembers past events of her life , maybe her childhood , some with nostalgia and some others with sadness . Maybe she didn't have the most easy childhood and there were moments that she needed to left her child self back and be more mature . As it seems she is being in a difficult situation at the moment so with this card I could say that she hopes to find help from her family and friends.

How to Release

I got ✨Strength ✨She has many challenges before her at the moment but she is more than ready to face them. She has to rely on her inner strength at this time and remain calm. She’ll master the situation she has to be brave! Her courage will see her through. She needs to take matters into her very capable hands. She has got the power to get this situation under control.

Future

✨Nine of Swords reversed ✨In a general context, the Nine of Swords reversed represents seeing the light at the end of the tunnel after dark times. When reversed, it is a card of recovering from depression or mental illness or issues improving, letting go of negativity, releasing stress and learning to cope. It signifies opening up, accepting help and facing life.

Kim Seokjin's

Current Energy

✨Two of Pentacles ✨In a general context, the Two of Pentacles can indicate that she is trying to find or maintain the balance between various areas of her life. This card represents the ups and downs of life and indicates that she is resourceful, adaptable and flexible enough to get through them. However, it can be a warning that trying to juggle too many things at once and not prioritising what is important can lead to failure and exhaustion. She has to try to evaluate where she's putting her energy and cut back on what is not necessary in order to maintain a balanced and happy life. The Two of Pentacles can also indicate that decisions need to be made and making these choices may be causing her stress. It can also signify partnership and the struggle to find the right balance between her needs and the needs of someone else.

Hopes and Fears

I got ✨Eight of Wands✨ This card shows me that she chose to see life with a positive and hopeful eyes and she hopes that everything she wants and have in mind can have progress and come to life . She feels very energetic , positive and enthusiastic about her ideas , she might plan to go on a travel . She is working very hard and she believes and hope that her hard work will be paying of and that she'll be ahead of the game . Although I am sensing all this positivity I think she's kind of afraid that she's becoming obsessed with someone or something.

How to Release

✨The Hanged Man reversed ✨ Let go is the advice this card gives . No one gets spiritual by hanging on to a situation or a person or an idea. Sometimes we need to let go.This card can also be suggesting learning to land on your own two feet. Have faith in herself.Instead of being still, the Hanged Man advises to take action. The time to wait is over now it’s time to move! If she has been making too many sacrifices, she has to stop. She doesn't have to be a martyr or a saint. It’s okay to put her needs first.

Future

I got ✨The King of Swords ✨ I'm seeing achievement, this tarot card denotes a professional who is at the top of their game (it seems like she'll get what she wants). She'll become someone who is an expert in their field and would have had to study to acquire this knowledge. She also may have plenty of practical experience in how to apply this knowledge in a very sophisticated manner till then .

Min Yoongi's

Current Energy

✨Two of Pentacles reversed ✨ In a general context, this card reversed can indicate that she biting off more than she can chew! She may be trying to keep too many balls in the air and finding it impossible to maintain the balance between the various areas of her life. This card also represents feeling overwhelmed,overextending herself and lack of organisation. Reversed can signify that she is making poor choices (I think that it's something that has to do with her career or future) because she is under pressure and may be getting herself into more of a mess than she needs to.

Hopes and Fears

I got ✨Judgement reversed ✨ I'm feeling like she is afraid of what others are or will be being overly judgemental or critical of her and her choices or maybe even blaming her for something that wasn’t her fault. This card can also mean that there are times she lets fear and self-doubt take control of her situation and that might happen because of bad past experiences she had .

How to Release

✨Temperance reversed ✨ This can be more of a warning than anything she might have allowed things to get out of hand or became a control freak ! Whatever it's happening in her life this card can be advicing her to get it together or chill the heck out.Temperance reversed can also suggest that it’s time to make a decision. She has to stop waffling on matters. Shit or get off the pot.

Future

✨Seven of Swords and Seven of Pentacles ✨ With Seven of Swords card I'm seeing her working hard and strategically towards her goals , that can also mean that she'll have to kind of trick some people but not in anyway to harm them in anyway (at least from the energies I'm getting). This card together with Seven of Pentacles tells me that her strategical way of thinking and hard work will pay off and she'll get the success she wants after feeling that her ideas /plans will never work and be patient for some time .

Jung Hoseok's

Current Energy

✨Ace of Wands reversed ✨In a general context, the Ace of Wands reversed represents delays, setbacks and disappointing news. When it's reversed indicates that she might does not have any “get up and go” in her at the moment as it represents lack of initiative,passion,assertiveness, energy, enthusiasm, motivation, & growth. She may be stopping herself from progressing or be slow and hesitant about starting or trying anything new. It can also represent creative blocks, wasted talent or potential and missed opportunities. She need to start taking the bull by the horns again. Alternatively, this card can indicate that she's so passionate, enthusiastic and motivated that she's a little too intense for some people to handle.

Hopes and Fears

With the ✨Four of Pentacles ✨ I'm getting that she may be afraid that she is holding onto things in an unhealthy, possessive, controlling or toxic way or someone may be holding onto her in such a manner. It can indicate that she need to establish your boundaries or respect the boundaries of other people. The Four of Pentacles can also indicate that she is afraid or gets stressed when there's a lack of openness, blocking or obstructing progress, keeping to herself or the others keeping to themselves or a sense of isolation in her relationships . It can also represent her fear of becomes greed, addicted to materialism and penny pinching.

How to Release

✨​Justice reversed ✨This card tells her that it may be hard for her to see what way to go at this time. She has to hold off on making a decision and give herself more time to examine her options.

Future

✨The King of Swords reversed ✨ it seems like that if won't take the right decision about something her everyday life will become boring and she'll just have to follow a daily routine that won't make her happy . So at this time she has to think carefully with maturity and see her options carefully and when the time comes she'll be able to decide what is right for her and her future.

Park Jimin's

Current Energy

✨Ten of Wands✨This is the card for hard work and taking on more responsibility. She's trying not to lose sight of the bigger picture, and keep on remember why she is putting in all the efforts. She is feeling burned out and weight down. Ten of wands tarot card can also mean that she is unable to say no, and people are taking advantage of her.

Hopes and Fears

✨The Magician ✨She hopes that she has all the skills and abilities she need in order to be successful and that the universe is aligning to bring positive changes her way. This card also shows that she feels that she has to use her intellect, concentration and willpower to make things happen but she is afraid that she is not strong enough.

How to Release

✨Death reversed✨ She might thinking of making a change in an area of her life but this card reversed advices her not to rush because it may not be the right time for change. Perhaps she's not ready or the circumstances aren’t favorable at the moment. Whatever the case may be,she has to pause before taking action.This could also be pointing out resistance or fear blocking progress. If that is so, the advice it gives her is to confront those issues, even if only internally.

Future

✨Three of Wands reversed ✨Three of Wands tarot card reversed indicates that will be delays in rewards and payoffs in the future. The environment might get toxic which makes it hard for growth. People might not like what she is doing and try to put second thoughts in her mind so she should stay focus on her ideas and dreams and make them come to life .

Kim Taehyung's

Current Energy

✨Queen of Pentacles reversed ✨I feel like this girl has lost the balance of her life maybe in things that have to do with her work place or family but to be honest I'm getting family issues going on mostly.  This card indicates poor taste and lack of sensitivity to other people’s needs. What she has experienced or she still is has made her to be someone who expects everyone to work as hard as she does and make the same practical choices. Queen of pentacles reversed denotes that she feels very insecure and has an inability to share with others her thoughts an feelings.

Hopes and Fears

✨Ten of Pentacles reversed ✨ Again with this card I'm seeing that something that has happened to her family is causing fear and great stress , maybe she is afraid that it will happen again , that she'll have to experience again the same challenges . Also I'm sensing that she might feel insecure on the financial part of her life , maybe she and her family are going through financial problems or she could possibly be worried about that she won't be able to pay for her responsibilities. Lastly feel that she might is stressed about something , she is feeling like she doesn't have enough time to do something and rush.

How to Release

✨Eight of Wands reversed ✨Slow down! is the message I'm getting for her, There is no need to rush at this time. She has to take time out to examine her plans.There is still work that left to be done before she can proceed. Go back to the drawing board and get that finished first.If she keep on trying to move things along too quickly, she may make critical mistakes. She has to watch her step and don’t be impulsive at this time.

Future

✨Ace of Cups ✨In a general context, the Ace of Cups signifies new beginnings, usually in terms of love, empathy, compassion and/or happiness. When this Minor Arcana card appears it indicates that you will be feeling happy, positive and good about yourself. Soon it will be a great time to begin new friendships and get out there and socialise. People will be very receptive, kind and friendly to her. It can also be an indication of good news, celebrations coming her way and getting back her creativity.

Two more cards fell while doing the reading for her so I think they have some messages or guidance for her ! The cards are Ace of Pentacles and the Chariot. ✨Ace of Pentacles ✨If she's asking about a potential investment, the Ace of Pentacles says: go for it! Same if she's inquiring about a new job, financial offer, or relationship. Aces are often an affirmative.This card can also advise to give as much as she can. Be generous.Check in with her values. What’s important to her? What matters? She has to let that lead her decisions.The right path is open to her now ,go forth with confidence.Give as well as she receives and vice versa.✨ The Chariot ✨This card tells her to take the reins in her hands and move forward with confidence, trusting that she will reach her destination. The key is to remain focused ,set her intention and direct her will , let nothing distract her until the goal has been accomplished.The Chariot also says: take charge! Assume a position of control. Lead, don’t follow.This card can also be suggesting a need for restraint or self control. If she wish to overcome a problem, she may need to apply greater self control.The Chariot also can advise leaving a situation. It may be time to move on and chart a different course. She has to put the past in her rear view mirror and look forward!Finally, this can also be a reminder for her to stay the course and do not get pulled in too many different directions. Move on. Her Victory is ahead and waiting for her in the future!

Jeon Jungkook's

Current Energy

✨King of Pentacles reversed ✨ King of pentacles tarot card reversed indicates being too conservative. King of pentacles reversed indicates difficulties in making the necessary changes. Falling behind is likely. King of pentacles reversed is likely to be a miser and a hoarder. This is someone who expects the best but lets others have the worst. Neglect of hygiene and poor health is indicated when King of pentacles shows up reversed. Her stubbornness and fear prevent positive change.

Hopes and Fears

✨The Hierophant ✨This card often denotes confusion about feelings because she feels that she needs to seek a deeper meaning in her life and this has priority over personal relationships , maybe that causes her stress. Also the Hierophant tarot card speaks of spiritual love and love that grows stronger with time. The Hierophant speaks of love that grows stronger by sharing a spiritual path maybe she's hopes that what she is feeling is true and at the same time she is afraid that she is depending on illusions.

How to Release

✨The Chariot ✨Like Taehyung's spouse she has to take the reins in her hands and move forward with confidence, trusting that she will reach her destination. The key is to remain focused. Set her intention and direct her will. Let nothing distract her until the goal has been accomplished.This card can also be suggesting a need for restraint or self control. If she wish to overcome a problem(maybe a phycological one or a past trauma), she may need to apply greater self control.The Chariot also can advise leaving a situation. It may be time for her to move on and chart a different course. Put the past in her rear view mirror and look forward!

Future

I got ✨King of Wands reversed and Five of Cups ✨In a general context, the King of Wands reversed can indicate that she'll lack the energy, experience or enthusiasm to accomplish what she has set out to achieve at this time. She'll be taking a back seat and will not being proactive in her life. She may feel that will not up to the task or won't be able to give away her power and setting a bad example for those who will look up to her. She may be worrying about other people’s opinion of her and she will may be afraid to be different or step outside of her comfort zone. She'll might also push people away from her and she'll end up feeling lonely. And that's something that the Five of Cups card comes to clarify here since the meaning of this card are the feeling of loneliness and disappointment (from the people she actually pushes away maybe unconsciously but she'll won't blame herself about it ). Lastly this card in a work-related situation that I feel like she already has some problems will worsen somehow!She'll might not be getting the recognition she deserve, or maybe even someone else is getting rewarded for her work and that will also make her feel disappointed and drained.

[im-thinking-arson]

Hi wow depression is a hell of a thing.

I'm sorry for the relative silence here, considering everything that has been going on in the last (roughly) year and a half it has been really hard to focus on any creative outlets. Everything has felt pretty heavy as I have been piecing together what exactly happened to myself and the people I used to share a community with.

Although my former FC is basically non-existent at this point, I feel it is appropriate to say that I no longer associate with its' leader @morganaux (sernoudenet on Twitter and formerly here) and to clarify why.

I have been struggling with what to even say about the situation. There are so many layers that I don't honestly know if any single cross-section could explain all there is to unpack. When it takes multiple people six months to explore everything they know as fact... I think that shows its not so much of a 'he said, they said' scenario as the few people who still support Morgy have tried to claim.

I feel guilty not speaking up sooner, considering this person is a member of the FFXIV community who I'm fairly sure some of my mutuals follow. Its so hard to speak out when he publicly acts innocent, like he has quietly moved on and refuses to acknowledge what he's done.

The reality feels so cold in contrast, with the knowledge I have- that he has done this multiple times before, burning down or wearing down those he has hurt with false sincerity; claiming innocence, claiming people misunderstand the significance of the intentions behind the knives in their backs, claiming he is the truest victim of the mess wrought of his own actions.

He quietly retweets fan art, cute animals, head canons, and all kinds of fandom things- but also others' tweets to identify with their own traumas- the same traumatic thoughts and feelings he incites in others through a mixture of gaslighting, lashing out, and playing the victim. He tweets passive aggressively about people he feels the victim of, (justified or not) even amid posts about his dearly beloved OC.

At this point I should just block him and try to scrape all memory of what I went through from my mind, but un-fucking-fortunately I know him too well to believe it's over when it's over. He still makes passive aggressive tweets about people he hasn't talked to in one, two, ?? years, a person who was a good friend to him for 10 years before he scapegoated them to maintain his own sense of righteousness.

Seeing as I witnessed him maintain not one, not two, not three- FOUR venting channels in his own discord, including at one point one specifically made for sh*tting on a single person, defending it's use and encouraging others to participate saying 'this is how victims cope'...

I know it's not over, and if he had a single shred of...anything... He could leverage against me he would have already tried to 'cancel' me. I'm not turning my back again to see if he decides to throw another knife.

For a long time I wanted to believe I had simply misunderstood the situation, that his intentions weren't so self-serving. The more I saw, the more I heard testimony from others that matched my own, the more I began to un-repress and process my own memories and connect the dots... And the less sense his own account made.

While I tried to maintain my friendship with him I ignored all the red flags, my own rise in anxiety, the isolation I felt. I felt so much pressure to fit into his equation, to be a supportive friend, to keep track of how he was feeling that I stopped taking care of my own mental health.

All the while he got angry for people not checking on him when he asked for space, threw a fit when anyone failed to accommodate his whims, and even accused his three closest friends of purposefully excluding him by taking screenshots without him in them or even hanging out together when he was offline..

And he would have people believe that most of the issues he was involved in centered on his friends not communicating with him. But in my case at least, nothing could be further from the truth.

I told him I felt uncomfortable with the fact his (at the time) friend had publicly lashed out at me in his discord server for stating my opinion. He suggested I work harder to befriend this person, that he couldn't and wouldn't approach his friend about it because he wasn't a FC member and only there as a friend of himself and his two closest friends.

He lashed out at a former friend (and FC mate) of mine -on my behalf- because they wouldn't stop messaging me while I was at work... And when this person subsequently put me on blast thinking I had put him up to it I mentioned considering posting my side of the story- to initially be shamed (by the person mentioned above) for suggesting I protect myself, stating it could make things worse for the people who had already publicly attacked this person...

I approached him about another former friend of his angrily ranting about a character I had though at the time they knew I was planning to RP (I had spoken about it both in-game and in a discord we all shared) because I didn't know them well enough to feel comfortable saying that made me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in the space. I approached my former friend because I knew from experience he took things like this seriously and he was the one who had invited this character TO role play in the first place.

He reacted by telling this person he had no idea why I was upset, asked them to address an issue they had no context for - prompting them to write an apology, and then reinforced their worry that I hated them by saying I "probably disliked them since [I] hadn't written them an apology" in return. I had thought they both wanted to drop the subject because he stopped responding about the situation.

He decided the situation was resolved and kept inviting us around one another for at least four months while keeping up the illusion that I disliked this person despite me trying to remain friendly- and said nothing about the situation until AFTER he had nuked his FC and almost everyone was done with his bullshit. I had asked him to be honest about the situation and finally got "[name] thinks you dislike him" ???

(I might add more details about these situations because it's honestly much more of a mess than it might seem, but I'd probably have to write a fucking book to explain everything well in-sequence of events.)

But those examples aside, I told him up front that the favoritism he showed and my concerns being glossed over was messing with my head, that I didn't know if I felt safe in his FC, that the whole situation was making me feel like I was losing my grip on reality, that at one point feeling like I was being discouraged from defending myself was beginning to make me feel su*cidal. These are things he knew.

He reacted to this ignoring both cause and effect, ignoring me unless I reached out first or it concerned RP, continually inviting me to hang out with people he knew I felt uncomfortable with (or vice versa) and normally turning down anything I invited him to do otherwise- including several times that I offered to help him with Eden or dungeons he wanted to farm when he previously said he was free to do so. A couple of times he declined saying he was waiting to see if he could convince another friend... and then threw a fit about 'no one wanting to help him' despite declining my offer and not reaching out to me after his other friend declined (I was still online but he decided to vent on discord instead).

Behind my back he talked shit about me, enough that someone who had known him 10 years and was familiar with his behavioral patterns qualified it 'constant' bashing, whenever I came up in conversation. And even included confronting me about the three situations I mentioned above in a plan he was working on to 'fix' his FC, as if he thought I was reaching out to him to stir up drama.

Eventually it came out that the friend I mentioned in the first example was emotionally abusing his friends (and I found out later told him two of them were talking shit about him- prompting HIM to lash out at them). One of them mentioned that person had still been talking shit about me 6 months later on a private account and when I got upset that THREE people I had thought were my friends didn't tell me, I made a few jokes in poor taste (that I do now regret) about the situation to try and prevent myself from having a mental break down.

The person he led to believe I hated left the discord server at that point and he decided to divert some of the blame for (in his words) 'being worried for this person's life' -whom he had attacked over the situation- to me... blaming them leaving and him having trouble contacting them on me.

I told him if this former friend was indeed attacking people and he was so worried we needed to talk about the situation, since in other situations his response was to ignore the hurt caused. He blew up about me messaging him at work, he blamed me for every situation I had brought to his attention. He went to his mods to rant about me and sent one of them to scope out the situation in hopes they could shut me up.

This is the friend of 10 years, who quickly became concerned and not for the reasons he had hoped. They shared a few screenshots of things said to gaslight me behind my back as the conversation progressed. Eventually the other mod jumped in and, knowingly or not proceeded to gaslight me FOR him, based on what they were told. By him.

They reinforced everything he was saying in guise of a neutral perspective and my efforts to prevent a full-scale breakdown failed. I lost all grip on reality for several days- in which at some point I wrote an apology to him for accusing him of several things that were later proven true- and one thing he, himself, proved he'd lied about to the other person involved.

I spent almost two weeks in a self-imposed social break to sort everything out and attempt to cope with what I was told was reality. I fell into the deepest depression I've been in since I had to run away from home, and honestly if it wasn't for my wonderful SO and our house mates, I might have really hurt myself.

It turns out another situation had been brewing parallel to my own. People had been coming to the social mod, the friend of 10 years, with their own worries about him. Almost every. Single. Member. Including at least four people who came forward with fears that if they did a single thing that he interpreted as an insult or threat they would find themselves exiled, called out, and ranted about in a jumbled mix of truth and fictional-malice until their own friends turned on them to support his victim complex.

These four people came forward on the condition that their names be kept anonymous to protect their identity. He didn't take kindly to this, quickly demanding names so they (his mod team) could handle the situation. The mod refused, knowing he has a history of lashing out at any criticism against him and to protect those who were already afraid of bringing the problems up to Morgy.

He reacted by lashing out at this person, claiming they ruined his life, and attempting to weed out those who had spoken out against him by kicking anyone he didn't feel 'safe' being around from his FC. He posted a message in his FC discord about resuming his 'reign of terror'... Which, even if it was a joke, was in in poor taste after pruning his FC of anyone he didn't think could be convinced of his 'good intentions.'

I missed this first culling of his FC members, I assume, because I had apologized and at the time submitted to his version of events. He approached me soon after I noticed the changes in the discord and FC roster; claiming he really wanted to work things out and remain friends- going as far as to say he was so nervous about my reaction that he was shaking.

I wanted to take him at face value despite everything that happened because yeah, I did want to believe he was sincere, that he was a good friend, and that all of it had been an unfortunate misunderstanding. And at first I did until I started talking to other people who knew him and getting their side of the story. Nothing he said added up. Between first-hand testimony and over a hundred screenshots from multiple people the ONLY things that were clear and consistent were that he lied and fit his narrative to whatever he wanted to achieve.

He tried to reduce conflict by omitting information, he controlled people's perception of one another by how he spoke about them and how close he let them to himself and others, he built a support group by polarizing his friends against his 'enemies' and if anyone had a problem with him... They were wrong, and got added to the pile of 'aggressors' he had accumulated over the years, to be bashed and spit on for years to come.

He may have sensed my change in opinion when I directly asked him to help me reach out to the person who thought I disliked them-  managed to come to an understanding and we mutually apologized for the situation... Without his meddling. Or maybe when he realized I was still on talking terms with the people he had lashed out at and directly asked him why he had kicked people who did absolutely nothing to him... Or it could be that I kept in contact with the person who 'ruined his life' by trying to protect his friends from him. I don't know.

While we were still talking he tried to identify with me and bond over the feeling of loosing the FC, a group of people that despite the anxiety, and pain I had felt in the environment he'd built I did deeply respect and care about... Despite the dissolution of that group and the abuse I suffered being -at the core- his own fault. He even went as far as to say my description of the PTSD and fear I was experiencing described exactly how he was feeling, too.

As our conversations further weighed on my mental health I had to take a break from interacting with him. I was honest again, with what I was told, what I knew, and asked him for honesty about the situation... What he had said about me behind my back and why because I wanted to hear it from him. I wanted to see if he would acknowledge the harm he caused both to me and the rest of the (former) FC.

He never did, and probably won't. He asked for some time to tend to his own stress levels and mental health and then blocked me on all social media and discord, and kicked me from his FC without ever making an effort to reach out.

Of the few people who are still close to him, one of them suggested that "maybe he just decided he didn't want to be friends anymore." But after him begging to have a conversation to iron out all the facts, claiming to be so anxious about such a conversation going well that he was 'shaking', admitting that what he did hurt people and that my being wary of him was understandable, asking me -directly- to let him know if he did anything 'shady', and stressing he REALLY wanted this conversation to take place when we were both able to handle it because of how important he felt it was...

I feel like its fair to say that him suddenly cutting off all contact isn't quite so simple. He could have done that at any point. Before pointedly ignoring my concerns, before gaslighting me, before blaming me for the results of his own actions, before accepting an apology for accusing him of things he did legitimately do, and certainly before directly telling me had no real problems with me, that he it was super important to him that we remain friends, and that I deserved his honesty.

I'm not going to try and tell anyone who they should be friends with or not. Frankly, people can change and in a lot of cases experiences with individuals will be different.

But on that same note, if I had known then what I know now I might have saved myself from roughly two years of anxiety and avoided the state of dissonance I now find myself in. I still have moments where I want to doubt the things I experienced first hand. My mind is still trying to repress my own memories to cope.

A part of me still cares about him despite everything because as far as I knew, he was my friend and I am still trying to reconcile what I found to be true.

At this point I feel like I should say please don't harass Morgy if you read this, but honestly? If you have any reason to hold him accountable go for it. He needs it. And if you have any gut feelings about him or anyone in his circle please listen to it. The few supporters he still has are willing to ignore anything he has done previous to the fall of his FC and have shown they are willing to debate and accuse people who speak out about legitimate concerns involving him.

If anyone has any questions I am willing to answer them and share the proof I have.

And in the off chance anyone wants to (further) argue with me about my experiences or whether or not I suffered enough to be considered a victim, please Google some images of a hand giving the middle finger. But if after that you still really want to play stupid games? I can find you some stupid prizes.

I don't owe him my silence. Or peace of mind. The only thing I owe him is to be as entirely, brutally, honest as possible given the information I have. I think it's a fair offer considering the mind-numbing volume of honesty he -still- owes all of us.

- - - - -

I may add more onto this. Unfortunately the entire situation is a lot more complex, but I wanted to get the backbone of my own experiences out there and there is so much bullshit it can't all be seen from any one direction. A lot of the circumstantial evidence loops back into other situations and makes it hard to comprehensively represent everything on any sort of singular timeline. As I said in the beginning there is a reason it took a small group 6 months to piece it together.

I am far from the only person hurt, and the entire situation was a mess with people feeling unnerved or pressured into going along with his agenda. For the most part now that I have more context I don't blame most of the people involved for their own actions. I fully support those who can't or won't come forward about the situation whether they just want out of his drama, or are afraid to come forward.

[mental-health-advice]

(Tag as yllw) PT1 ive been really sad again lately, I slept with a guy who I thought cared, but it’s been weeks and he’s totally ignored me and shut me out. I feel alone, all of my friends are in relationships and I’m by myself all the time. I just feel empty all the time. Like it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t talk to my friends, that I don’t make an impact on their lives. I’ve been feeling like this a lot lately, and I did a little research and I think I might have high functioning depression,

(Tag as yllw) PT2 but I don’t know who to talk to or how to bring it up. I don’t have people close to me who understand mental illness. They are the type of people who overlook it as being dramatic or seeking attention. It’s getting harder to care about stuff everyday and I don’t know what’s going to happen if I don’t fix it soon. I’ve cut before and have thought about suicide although I’ve never attempted. But when I get to that dark place I feel like I’m kind of being over the top about it

(Tag as yllw) PT3 like I’m making it out to be a bigger deal than it is and it’s confusing and I just want help.

Hi, yllw! Thank you for sending this in, and I hope you’ve been doing okay since you sent the ask. I really hope I can help in some way.

It sounds like there is a lot you are feeling at the minute, and I am so sorry you feel alone within it all. I completely understand as I have had these same feelings recently. Is there any way to contact the guy you are talking about other than calling or texting? Although you are trying to reach out to him, I do believe that if the situation is damaging and hurting you then something needs to change. It is confusing and painful that you are being ignored, but it is not your fault.

Unfortunately, people do hurtful things sometimes, and I hope they find the strength to stop doing those things one day. You are worth every moment of happiness, and if the situation is making you feel bad then do you feel there is a way for closure? Could you accept what happened and how you feel and move forward? In this case, know that you are valid and it was not your fault. Moving forward is a powerful, brave thing to do and I believe it could be the best move for you at the minute. Do not let it define you, but accept it happened and let it make you stronger.

In terms of feeling alone with friends who are in relationships, it can be difficult. Especially when you want to hang out or go to a movie with them, but I hope I have some suggestions you could think about and try. My first suggestion is sitting them down, all together or one by one and explaining to them how you feel. It is neither their fault or yours, it is just the situation and I believe they will understand and want to help you.

Could you invite a few of them to a movie without their partners? Then, perhaps, invite their partners out on their own for a meal? If not, is there work colleagues you could spend time with? Is there an activity (cycling, painting, writing, gaming) which you could join a group for in your town? Spending time with other people is okay, and sometimes helps us more than we know it. Especially if we are doing an activity we love in a safe place.

I spend a lot of time on my own, and I am having to learn how to be okay with that. That lesson once learned, is so valuable. It is about finding your balance between having enough social time for yourself and being okay on your own for a while. Do you have anything you could do while on your own as a distraction and activity? I have taken up writing and cycling, as well as simply furthering my knowledge on my career by watching YouTube tutorials. Do you feel you could do that with anything? All the activities I have taken up have become special to me and my thing, which makes them enjoyable and worth it.

Although researching and understanding mental health can be interesting and useful to know, self-diagnosing can be dangerous and more damaging than we realise. We may believe we have one thing and treat it as that (trying to use techniques to help with it) when in fact it is something completely different. By trying to help fix one thing, we may be damaging something else. I hope that makes sense! We do have a page on getting help, which I will link below!

If you are struggling with telling someone, writing a letter or bullet points on paper can help when you speak to someone. The moment can become scary and you may feel more comfortable with points to refer to, so you do not leave anything out. YouTube videos of others speaking can also help! If you find one you relate to, perhaps show that to the person to explain how you are feeling.

One thing which sticks out to me in your ask is how you describe feeling over the top and seeking attention. I relate to this as I felt that way too, as do many. Going through something negative and confusing can feel this way, but when you are in the light and can see better it makes a little more sense. When I felt alone and stuck, I didn’t want to speak about it because I felt like I was attention seeking. However, now that I look back, I understand that it is exactly what I needed. There is nothing wrong with wanting attention and to be listened to, as it makes us feel less alone and stronger. There is a lot of negativity around ‘attention seeking’ and there are many unhealthy ways to deal with it, but there is also the need for attention which is perfectly healthy.

It is okay to want attention and to be healthy about getting it. You’ve got this.

Our blog has 3 pages which I think will give you some ideas:

Distractions (for anything - whenever you need something to do)

Getting Help

Venting Groups (there is one on Sunday’s for SH - speaking about it to someone can help a lot with understanding it and preventing it)

I hope this has helped, and please feel free to come back and send in another ask if you’d like another take on how you are feeling from another admin. I believe in you, and this will not last. The feeling of being alone can be overcome, and I wish you nothing but happiness.

Rosie

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Lunarly is the self-care box for people who are into crystals

I am not good at self-care. 

That's not to say that I'm not good at performing self-care. I will never turn down a chance to slap on a sheet mask, Instagram a dissolving bath bomb, and precariously balance my laptop on the closed toilet to hate-watch The Bachelor. Aside from my tendency to consume Flaming Hot Cheetos for breakfast, I'm pretty good at taking care of my body. 

But when it comes to mental health, that all kind of goes out the window. 

Relaxing isn't my forte. Whenever I attempt a "self-care" night, I find myself fidgeting in a tub of glittery bathwater, waiting for enough time to pass for me to be able to justify spending upwards of $8 on being pastel human soup. Meditation is exhausting — how are you supposed to empty your mind when there's so damn much to think about? And while I've become that person who lives in L.A. and got into the habit of daily yoga, I spend a lot of it anxiously planning out my day instead of paying attention to my breathing. 

Which is where Lunarly's subscription box comes in. The self-care box's website advertises "learning the art of self-care," and a monthly subscription offers members a plant, a notebook and stickers, and a handful of curated "wellness products." Its mission is to encourage subscribers to "set intentions" as a way to live for mindfully. 

Launched in the summer of 2018, Lunarly is the brainchild of BuzzFeed and Scotts Miracle-Gro. According to Bloomberg, the collaboration was an effort to advertise gardening to young people. 

SEE ALSO: The Sill's plant delivery service will convince you of your own green thumb

Basically, taking care of yourself — even if it's with the help of an aesthetically-curated marketing tactic — is in right now. But is paying $40 a month worth it? 

Image: courtesy of lunarly

Image: courtesy of lunarly

The Sap Moon Box

Each box corresponds with the new moon; the Lunarly website says that at the beginning of the moon cycle, subscribers are supposed to set their intentions and figure out how to live better. 

"The full moon marks the culmination of your chosen affirmation and is as crucial to intention setting as the new moon," the FAQ states.

I don't consider myself a crystal kind of person, but I can comfortably say I'm crystal-adjacent. By that, I mean that I own a salt lamp because I think it looks nice, I keep Co—Star notifications on, and I have perused the stands dotting the Pacific Coast Highway that sell sage bundles and mango boxes. While I appreciate the aesthetics of it all, I can't imagine taking any of it seriously. 

But I'm willing to give it a try. 

Image: mashable/morgan sung

March's box corresponds to the "Sap Moon." A card included in the box says the moon was named for "the unfolding of the world beginning to melt and move," after sap from maple trees begins to flow. OK. 

This month's box includes a spider plant, a bar of lemongrass sage soap, a bag of incense pyramids, a rock, the standard notebook and stickers, and a mushroom-ginger-green tea "drink." 

The plant

Lunarly's plant was by far the biggest disappointment in the box, but that was mostly my fault — the box was delivered on a Friday when I was on vacation, and I didn't free the poor spider plant from its cardboard prison until Monday morning. By the time I finally gave it some water and fresh air, half of it was wilted. 

This plant was ... a little rough.

Image: mashable/morgan sung

This is what the plant is supposed to look like, according to images provided by Lunarly. Look at how lush my plant could have been!

Beautiful! Lush! This is what my plant could have looked like.

Image: courtesy of lunarly

The spider plant perked up considerably after a few days in the sunlight on the ledge of my apartment's patio, and even made a new snail friend. I did really like that Lunarly sent a pet-safe plant — something my asshole cat (coincidentally named Lunar!) took advantage of the second I looked away. 

New snail friend!

Image: mashable/morgan sung

My very rude cat was a fan of the pet-safe plant.

Image: mashable/morgan sung

Let this be a warning: If you're going to subscribe to Lunarly, open it RIGHT AWAY. I do wonder how the plants would survive being delivered in the middle of the summer or during a winter cold snap. Luckily Los Angeles is relatively temperate in late February/early March, so I'm pretty sure that if I had freed the plant the day it was delivered instead of letting it suffocate for a weekend, it would have looked less pathetic. 

Incense cones

This month's box also included a full-size package of Reverse Karma Pyramid Incense Cones, which run for $8.95 for seven cones online. It was listed under "Restore" on the list of products that came with the box.

Image: mashable/morgan sung

Lunarly's description said the cones' "dreamy scent, released with fire," would "invoke clear thoughts for planning the seasons ahead." 

I popped one in what I hoped was a flame-proof bowl and lit it up. The card instructed me to "waft the smell of the earth to ground you during your self-care routine." I don't know if I'd describe what I felt as grounded, but the incense did smell like the Buddhist altar at my grandma's house, which was nice. Neither the product card nor Reverse Karma's website listed what the cones were made of — what if someone had allergies? 

I'm also wary of Reverse Karma. Its items have names like "Sage That Sh*t" (sage bundles for nearly $12) and "Stay Lit" (incense sticks), there's something culturally appropriative-ish about the whole brand. They're not explicitly stealing from cultures, but it all comes off as someone who went to a Southeastern Asian country once for two weeks and decided to market its traditions to millennials. 

Aragonite

I literally laughed out loud when I opened the little velvet bag that held this month's crystal because it was so tiny. For the Sap Moon, Lunarly sent a nugget of aragonite, which is supposedly a "mineralized beam of light." Here it is, next to a tiny hand for scale.

Image: mashable/morgan sung

Described as "strong, but delicate, and ever moving forward," the hunk of rock is meant to remind you that "moving on is letting go." The card instructed me to try a mindfulness exercise while holding the rock, breathing deeply as I imagined light coming from the rock. 

"Where does the light go?" the card asked. "Take note." 

I usually dismiss crystals' healing properties, but the exercise was a chill way to avoid being on the hell that is the internet for ten minutes. Sometimes you do need a break. I wish the rock was bigger, though. 

Lemongrass sage soap

This month's box also included some incredible smelling soap from Spinster Sisters Co. Its website lists the soap for $3 for a 0.9 ounce bar. It was under "Care" on the list of products that came with the box. 

I would eat this if I didn't know it was soap.

Image: mashable/morgan sung

I'm not going to lie, the soap smelled delicious, like an herby lemon tart. If you told me that it was a Lara bar, I'd probably try to take a bite out of it. 

While the card provided with the box suggested using the soap "often to strengthen your soul this Sap Moon," I experienced no soul strengthening. The card wasn't clear on what soul strengthening was supposed to feel like, but if it's anything like pleasantly citrus-scented hands all day, then maybe my soul was strengthened! 

Mushroom Matcha drink mix

The "Care" section of the card also included Four Sigmatic's Mushroom Matcha Drink Mix, which runs a whopping $33 for a 20-serving package. The card claims that it "gets your mind moving" since it's caffeinated. 

Image: mashable/morgan sung

Adhering to the package's suggestions, I mixed the matcha powder into hot water and topped it off with some oat milk and honey. It was disgusting. The additions didn't help the taste — the green tea drink tastes what I'd expect mushroom flavored La Croix to taste like. There's only a hint of mushroom, but it's somehow both unsatisfying and overpowering. 

And the people around me found it repulsive, too.

My roommate, who usually enjoys the taste of dirt and regularly drinks weird herbal-infused liquors, described the tea as "how the smell of Manhattan would taste." My other roommate spat it into the sink as soon as she took a sip. We even tried to give it to my cat, who will beg for any kind of human food and regularly hunts insects, but he sniffed it and promptly walked away. This is an animal who likes to eat snails. If even he doesn't find the drink appealing, who will?

Setting intentions

The part I struggled with the most was setting intentions, mainly because I have no idea what that is in the first place. 

Another card that came with the box described intentions as "values we seek to embody every day." Based on the lunar cycles, setting intentions is meant to "manifest the absolute best versions of ourselves." 

"Intention setting is choosing an intention to carry with you every day," the FAQ read, which is just as helpful as describing anxiety as "when you're feeling anxious." 

Image: mashable/morgan sung

Lunarly's FAQ about it wasn't clear, either. It suggested ways to set yourself up while setting intentions, with phrases like "find a peaceful place to THINK clearly" and "speak your truth." I tried it all, and I still couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be looking for. 

Instead, I made a list of goals to decrease my overwhelming and constant anxiety, but I'm still not sure what an intention is. The journal and the stickers reminded me of bullet journaling, another self-care aesthetic I was enthusiastic about but wasn't able to stick to. 

This notebook was a cute exercise in scrapbooking that kept me accountable. In the three days of "intention setting" I did, I felt overall less jittery and less on the verge of panic, but I think that was more from me cutting back on the sheer amount of caffeine I was consuming instead of cleansing my soul. 

At the end of the day, I'm still not sure who this box is meant for. If you're just starting out in the world of mindfulness and Instagrammable spirituality, Lunarly leaves its main goal of intention setting unexplained. 

If you're already well-versed in the world of pseudo-Buddhism and meditation and sage burning, then you probably know where to get incense cones that aren't $8.95 for seven and likely don't need motivational stickers that declare "Literally Plant Even" for your practice. Obviously a cute notebook won't take the place of an actual mental health professional, but I think this box would be better for beginners if it had more clear guidelines.

That's not to say that the box isn't worth it, from a monetary perspective at least. My pet peeve is when subscription boxes send tiny "sample" sizes that feel more like miniaturized clutter. I appreciate that Lunarly sent full-sized items that you'd actually use (aside from that nasty tea, but maybe someone in this vast world thinks it's tasty) instead of things that will take up space. This is not a subscription box of knick knacks you'll keep until your annual Netflix-fueled KonMari clutter sweep. 

I also want to note that individually, the items in the box tally up to over $40 a month. There are plenty of things that cost $40 a month — like the time I signed up for a free trial of YouTube TV to watch the premiere of The Bachelor and forgot to cancel it once the trial was over. I'll admit that as silly as Lunarly's suggestions felt, I'd rather spend $40 on one of their boxes than on another month of hate-watching The Bachelor. 

Would I actually buy a monthly subscription to Lunarly? Probably not — even if I'd choose it over The Bachelor, I think there are better ways to spend my money than on comically small rocks. There are also more effective ways to learn the art of self-care. 

WATCH: ASMR unboxing the Thunder Purple OnePlus 6T — ASMR Unboxing

[mental-health-advice]

Submission from America

My life is a spiraling mess, From my point of view. I’m extremely young and just growing into adulthood I’m scared, freaking out and I want to change my habits so that I can live a happy life and enjoy everything I do. I’m not all that confident with my physical nor mental health in a sense however I’m amazing and I’m not afraid to show it. I’m an extraordinary student can you can tell my looking at my grades (straight A’s) or asking any teacher. I’m quite talented and can do anything you ask me too, one of my biggest passion’s is art and I can do just about anything. I’m a sophomore this year going into junior year of high school I’m very mature and have been through sh*t , my dad cheated on my mom and left us 3 years ago and so now my mom works full time in a hotel and of course me being the oldest I get all the hard work. I’ve always taken honors and this year I took an AP class and I’m signed up for 5 AP classes next year!! I’m very intelligent, responsible, and respectful. This summer I want to become a better person so that my life will flow smoother. I’m a little disorganized and I do have major anger issues that I can seem to get past. I want to be more social for I’m quite an ani-social person I want to be fun prosperous and just the type of person that anyone would want to be with. I want to go to stanford university in my future but I know that will take lots of work to get too. I mean come on the average GPA to get in is a 4.18 again not impossible to achieve but fu*k bro that’s going to kill me. I will literally need to be not human to be become such a perfect person not to mention I’m expected to be an athlete too. Another thing about this is that I’m quite fat and big and I dont feel nothing confident about that, well mostly but I do like my hips and legs plus my breast but other than that I have way too much fat and I can’t seem to find any rhythm to being able to start losing weight I come from a semi rich family and I can’t say that I have totally ugly features in fact I might be better looking than most.😂😔 sorry that was probably rude and now please any advice? - America

Hi darling,

You definitely are young still! You’ve talked about a lot of different things (which is completely okay by the way!), so I’ll address each point separately. I hope that’s okay with you. First of all, I do want to let you know that it’s okay to be scared about growing up. It’s really good that you want to live a happy life and enjoy everything you do, but I also think it’s important not to put too much pressure on it. You see, when you’re focusing on how and what to change to live a really happy life, you might miss out on the happy life you’re living now. It might not be as happy as what it can be after change, but it can still be enjoyable! And I also think it’s good to keep in mind that the perfect life doesn’t exist. It’s okay if there are some things in your life that are upsetting, as long as they are small and manageable! And the overall feeling you get from your life is positive.

I think it’s absolutely amazing that you can see the good qualities you have! Definitely keep that up!! You’re doing really well in school and that’s absolutely amazing. However the prospect of university and the requirements for that can be extremely stressful. There’s something about averages though that’s really good to keep in mind. It is an average number. That means that there are higher numbers but also lower numbers. More importantly is that admission won’t only be about your GPA, but also about the letter you write and what your resume looks like. If you can show in that letter and/or on your resume why that school can benefit from having you as a student, that can matter more than your GPA. Of course it will need to be at a certain level, but it won’t have to be the average number. I hope that at least can give you some kind of reassurance! Other than that I think it’s important to do your best, but to also have a close eye on how this ‘doing your best’ is affecting you. If you feel like it’s getting too much, or for example if it’s causing perfectionistic tendencies, then you need to take it slow for a while. I always tried to do my best, but since I struggled with perfectionism, I never felt like I was quite there yet, and this affected me really negatively, to the point of eventually not being able to do my schoolwork at all anymore because of depression. I just want to prevent that from happening to you! Maybe it can help to always make some kind of studying schedule that you stick to, so that you don’t get overboard. And I think a good golden rule is to not let it affect your sleeping pattern. You gotta sleep when you gotta sleep! One of the biggest mistakes I made was working through the night.

I’m sorry to hear about what happened in your family lovely. It definitely does sound difficult to go through, not only because now you have to do all the work at home, but also emotionally! How are you dealing with that lovely? Do you think it’s something you’ve processed already, the fact that your dad cheated and left, or is it still a painful topic to think and/or talk about? If the latter is the case, then I think it would be really good for you to speak to someone (maybe the school counsellor?) about this! It’s something that you need to work through. Sometimes it can seem appealing to just push it all away, but eventually it’s going to come up and it’s so much better to deal with it sooner rather than later.

Organising things can be really stressful sometimes. I don’t know in what way you’re disorganised, so I’m just going to give a bunch of suggestions. First of all, make sure you have a diary so that you can write down any deadlines, appointments, or anything like that. Then it can be good to invest in a planner. I have one that works week by week. So if I have a deadline coming up, I’ll write down when I want to start, and when I want to finish bit by bit. I always divide projects, or any assignment really, into small bits because then it seems more doable. Then I look at the due date, count how many bits I have, and count back, including one or more extra ‘catch up’ days. Then I know at what date I need to start the latest. I also found it really helpful to stick to certain routines. So I’ll have a little shower routine, I have a before bed routine, etc. The thing with these routines is that if I stick to them, my room will be less messy, which gives me a more organised feeling and actually helps me stay more organised!

Dealing with anger can be really difficult from time to time! We have a page on anger management here, so you might want to check that out! If it’s a major problem, I do really recommend you to speak to a professional about it though. They can help you more to manage it all better, or maybe even to reduce the problems, by finding the source of where all that anger is coming from and processing that. You can read more about getting help here.

Being social is something a lot of people expect of themselves. Sometimes I’ll look at some of my friends, and I wish I was as social as them. But then I realise that I’m an introvert and they’re an extrovert, and it just isn’t going to happen. Being in social situations drains me, and that’s something I’ve had to accept. Of course being alone all the time isn’t good either, but I know that I need to find a good balance between the two. I think what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay if you’re not the most social person, as long as there’s some kind of balance and it’s something you can grow to be okay with.

You say you’re expected to be an athlete too. Who is expecting this of you lovely? Is it something you want as well? If it isn’t, then I think that really is something you need to let go. You already have a lot on your plate, and sometimes it just is too much to do all together! At those times it’s important you drop what matters least to you, not to anyone else. It’s your life, and you aren’t obligated to fulfil everyone’s expectations! They’re their expectations, but that doesn’t need to have an influence on how you live your life!

I’m glad to hear that there are parts of your body that you do like! Cherish that ❤ When it comes to losing weight, please go about it the healthy way, and when you do keep an eye on that it doesn’t turn into an obsession. I just really want you to be healthy and not go down the miserable path of an eating disorder, because trust me - they’re horrendous. Losing weight healthily can be done by eating healthier and exercising. It’s important to still eat three meals a day and have snacks in between, but do keep an eye on what you’re eating. For some people it also helps to have smaller portions, but that’s also something you need to be careful with, as when the portions are too small and you end up getting hungry before the next meal time, it’s going to get really difficult to stick to the meal plan.

You weren’t rude at all lovely! I really hope that you find this answer helpful, and please do let me know if there’s anything else I can help out with. I wish you all the luck in dealing with everything, I have faith in you.

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful ❤

Love Pauline