#if we're just hurt by something we're not supposed to be hurt by or if we're also imagining it on top of that

[pinkyqily]

IT'S OKAY, WE'RE OKAY, WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT OKAY JUJU WATKINS x READER

Summary: After the losing game against Iowa, you and juju get into a nasty argument that leads to your teammates separating the both of you.

Warning: Angst Angst Angst, swearing, throwing shit around, bad juju and reader

Authors note: The match was something, so that is why we get angst for times like this, anyways happy reading feedback and requests are always appreciated 💕.

Tension within the team was high no one said a word as everyone entered inside the bus. All you wanted to do was sit down next to your girl and comfort each other, but that was a no brainer as she passed by and ignored you.

Her ignoring you kinda hurt but you weren't gonna push past it. You tried sending her texts only for her to swipe them each time, you saw her groan turning off her phone.

A pit was forming down your stomach but you ignored the feeling like a fool.

You knew the type of player juju was when things don't go the way they were supposed to. Right now with the loss she was definitely beating herself up over it. no one likes to lose, especially to a team that wears the ugliest shade of yellow.

Arriving at the hotel felt like you were about to step into a battle zone. Once again you tried getting juju's attention by grabbing her hands, but all she did was yank her hands away from yours like you were some insects coming to disturb her.

You tried one last time by tapping her shoulder until she finally snapped at you, raising her voice, something that she's never does always trying her best to be calm with you.

"Bro what the fuck do you want can you not get the hint that maybe I do not want to deal with your shit tonight". You heard her say which was shocking. Because she never had an outburst likes this not even infront of your teammates or others, so her doing this just made you feel like an attention seeker which made you embarrassed.

"First off, watch how you're talking to me because I do not curse at you whatsoever and all I was trying to do was comfort my teammate who thinks the whole world is on her shoulders when the team has a few bad games but it fuck me right?." You said to her.

a few of your teammates who hadn't head upstairs came to where you and juju trying to calm things down, but that only made things escalate.

"Wow this coming from the player that left the 3 pointer line all wide fucking open and probably cost us the game". The moments those words came out of juju mouth she insanely regretted them but it was to late because you already heard them.

"I'm so sorry that not everyone can be there own fucking Judea watkins that's oh so prefect". You threw back at her tears clearly streaming down your face

It was too late for juju to say anything as kiki and Ray came separating the both of you.

The looks from your coaches were equally heartbreaking because no one wants to witness their best players tearing each other to threads.

A wave of guilt filled juju as everything she said to you hit her like a brick stone she was obviously in her head and wasn't thinking at all but the damage was already done. She made you cry and hurt you're feelings what type of girlfriend and teammate was she?. Was all she wondered now.

You we're already walking off with kiki.

She tried saying something but was cut off by one of the coaches who told her not to.

"It not worth it juju just head back upstairs, we'll be having a serious talking about both of your behaviors ray please help juju up to her room". she heard coach say, heading back the other way with ray, head facing down has she pulled her hoodie strings ashamed of how she acted.

What she didn't see was the way you turned around, hoping for her to say something at all it could've been anything but she didn't.

Only leaving both of you to sleep with heavy hearts having a thin wall separating you once more, you guys were definitely not okay and no one was okay.

[will80sbyers]

Not a st merch account posting videos kinda implying they aren't really in love and then in the comments writing positive stuff to melvins !?

This is the sequence of the videos:

__________

Have you ever been in love?

Everyone I love, I hurt.

Yeah, well, boyfriends lie.

"Like we're in love?"

It's bullshit.

I just like, I've never felt like this, you know, with anyone before... and, you know, they do say it makes you crazy.

What makes you crazy?

You never- you never heard that term? You know, like the phrase, like... "Blank" makes you crazy? Like, the word...

Girlfriends?

No, no no no, not girlfriends!

Boyfriends!

No! No, no, no, not boyfriends either... It's like, it's like a feeling, yeah like something... Old people say it to each other sometimes!

Old people?

_____________

like??????? I'm sorry how is this supposed to be romantic for them what kind of mindfuck game are the promotional accounts playing 😂

[nebula-chao-agere]

Regressuary 2025: Day 3

(This is specifically about the movie franchise, there will not be any shipping of any kind as they're basically children in the movies and I see them all more like siblings,,)

Like Brother

Shadow was walking nervously to Tom and Maddie's room, his baby blankie trailing behind him, the corner in his hand. The small blanket was a gift from Doctor Stone, being something he'd recovered from the lab after Gerald and Ivo's death. He didn't have a use for it, but it was in that room that Shadow had been a little too attached to while there. Surely the gift wouldn't hurt. Well, not only did it NOT HURT but it actively helped Shadow when he regressed, the little hedgehog and blankie being inseparable.

He toddled down the stairs and into their currently empty room. Maddie was with Tails and Knuckles in the kitchen working on a lunch of finger foods. Tom was in the bathroom with a fussing blue blur who was very insistent on not taking a bath. While everyone was distracted, Shadow found himself poking around in the shared closet of the parents of the house. He hesitantly flipped through Tom's shirts and jackets, a small pang of jealousy. Sonic, Tails, and even Knuckles had some clothes of their own. Shadow didn't really understand the concept of clothes, not anything other than gloves and shoes anyways. But when it came to bedtime or when one of his siblings were sick, "pajamas" seemed to bring alot of comfort to them. Even just t-shirts or the soft "pants" or "shorts" appeared to have some sort of comfort and gave the wearer some ability to relax.

Sonic had grown quite the collection of t-shirts now, mostly consisting of his favorite superheroes or cartoon characters, and even a few hand-me-downs from Tom. Shadow couldn't quite place why, but he wanted a shirt of his own. He was filled with almost 100% certainty that Sonic would share his, but it just wasn't the same to him. Shadow wanted his own. He wanted to feel... human? That's not the word he was looking for. Something that made him feel a bit more "down to Earth", in a literal sense; similar to how his blankie made him feel. He shook his head, holding his blankie closer to his chest before glancing behind him. Making sure the coast was clear; he hesitantly took a plain t-shirt off of one of the hangers. He'd made sure it wasn't one he saw Tom wear often, and made sure it wasn't one of the fancier ones that he saved for special occasions. And of course, he steered very clear of his work attire. They looked uncomfortable anyway.

The shirt he'd picked would probably be huge on him, but that didn't seem to be a problem for him in the slightest. It had some cartoon mascot on it that he didn't recognize, seeming to be a yellow bear in a red shirt of his own. Shadow hesitantly checked the doorway again before he slipped it over his own head after setting his blankie down, gently, on the bed. He struggled getting his quills through at first, but eventually popped his head through. Something didn't feel quite right though... He looked down at himself, arms tucked underneath the shirt, the little guy not quite understanding how the sleeves were supposed to work.

At that very moment, Sonic sped past the bathroom, somehow already dried off, Tom calling down the hall for him to slow down. "Sonic, you know we're not supposed to run in the house!" he playfully scolded, a small laugh escaping him as he now stood at his own bedroom door. Shadow froze, not even needing to turn around as he realized the predicament he was in. He was frozen in place, his flight or fight at a standstill as he instead froze. "...Shadow?" Tom asked hesitantly, gently, after a moment. Shadow flinched, standing there with flushed cheeks as he didn't know what to do, or how to explain what he was trying to do before he was walked in on.

Not saying another word, not wanting to scare the kid, he closed the door softly, making his way over to Shadow. He crouched down next to him, taking it slow and gently, not wanting to make him flinch or jump again. Tom couldn't help the smile that had now formed on his lips as he saw his shirt hanging down to Shadow's knees. "Let me help ya bud... Is it okay to touch?" He asked before even attempting to put a handout. Once given the slightest of nods after nearly ten seconds of silence, he took a hold of one of the short sleeves, trying to guide Shadow's hand. "You gotta put your arm through here, okay?"

Shadow hesitantly did as he was told but couldn't take his eyes off of Tom. How was he being so calm about this, acting like it was normal? It was a stark contrast from how he looked at him when they had first met, and it was surreal to Shadow. The gentle touch of a father's hand was foreign but not unwelcome. He found himself strangely not pulling away as Tom took his hand and guided it through the sleeve, then doing the same with his other hand. Tom knew it was better to leave all of his questions unanswered. One wrong step, and he wouldn't hear from Shadow for weeks, the prideful hedgehog taking even the smallest of questionings harshly. Either way, he already had a bit of a guess of what he was seeing.

"You like it?" He asked with a tender smile once he'd gotten the shirt straightened out and on correctly. Shadow hid his face in his blankie, feeling ashamed of how much he enjoyed something that seemed so small and simple to everyone else in the house.

Before Tom could coax an answer out of him, Maddie called for the kiddos, trying to round them up in the living room for lunch. Tom held his arms open, offering to carry Shadow. It was always hit or miss if Shadow would let anyone pick him up... bud today... he let himself walk into Tom's arms, nuzzling his face in the fabric of his blankie that he held onto, sat atop his father's shoulder. "Let's go get some food in your tummy, yeah?"

As Tom carried him into the living room, the other three kiddos weren't even really paying attention, Tails and Sonic competeing to see who can stack the tallest "cracker sandwich" while Knuckles was filling up on the grapes while they watched the movie Maddie had turned on. Maddie however, couldn't help but raise a brow at the hedgehog in Tom's arms, strangely docile and clingy. Not that it was a bad thing, just something she wasn't expecting. Tom sat Shadow down next to the other boys... or tried to. Shadow was oddly very attached to Tom all of a sudden, almost as if he'd regressed into an even smaller headspace than before. Not wanting to draw any extra attention by asking about it, Tom sat down instead, holding Shadow in his lap. Shadow made no move to take any of the food, but watched the other three, trying to gauge what he should do here.

Being the literal Ultimate Lifeform, Shadow didn't need to eat or drink, nor was he accustomed to doing so. But when Maddie offered him a sippy cup similar to the ones the other three had, Shadow accepted it with hesitance, but almost instantly began to sip from it when he saw Sonic take a sip from his. He laid his head against Tom's chest, watching the movie, blankie in one hand, sippy in the other.

This family life really wasn't so bad... Nobody judged or expected anything of him... Nothing hurt and he was... safe? Safe. Yeah, that's the word he was looking for.

[rippleclan]

RippleClan: Moon 90, Part 3

[Image ID: Lightningrunner yowls at Estherfern, "You took her from me! I barely got to know her! Why do you get to be a mother when she didn’t get to be mine?" Shrewflame and Whitepaw run toward the pair.]

ONE MOON PRIOR…

It seemed like a waste of a skilled cleric's time to accompany an apprentice to his training, but Estherfern supposed she would want someone close by if one of her kits were to injure themselves carelessly. She strolled beside Lightningrunner as Shrewflame and Whitepaw pranced ahead of them, making their way to Battle Beach. It seemed like far too gray and bright a day to spar, but the youth of RippleClan didn't care much for her opinion.

"Mr. Billowhaze said to be careful by the water," Whitepaw chirped, gazing up at his older brother like a Clan oogles a new leader. "Do you think Mom's stories about fish-cats are real?"

"Mom's an artisan, not a historian," Shrewflame laughed. "Her stories are all fake. Don't worry, the only creatures you should worry about in the ocean are poisonous fish."

"I don't think that makes me feel better," Whitepaw chuckled awkwardly. The two brothers left dainty pawprints in the sand.

"If you want to know more about the ocean," Lightningrunner said, "ask me anything."

"I will, Ms. Lightningrunner," Whitepaw promised, turning an ear back to her. Estherfern hummed softly at the young apprentice's strange phrasing. There was something humble about the titles, even though Estherfern had no idea what they meant.

"Battle Beach!" Shrewflame chirped as the patrol crossed into that special portion of the shoreline. To Estherfern, there was nothing particularly special about this portion of the beach as opposed to any other stretch of snow-dusted land. She wouldn't have known of their arrival had Shrewflame not pointed it out. Still, her Clanmates raved about fond memories sparring along the sand, so it was yet another thing she learned to keep her mouth shut about.

"Is sparring at all like that big fight Mr. Tallowheart and Ms. Cobaltchaser had?" Whitepaw asked, kneading the sand.

"That was just a fight, Whitepaw," Shrewflame laughed, running his tail over Whitepaw's head as he walked past. "When we spar with our Clanmates, we're practicing our skills and challenging ourselves. We aren't hurting one another, though. That's why you don't unseathe your claws. You aren't supposed to draw blood when you're training."

"I won't," Whitepaw promised. He ran to catch up with Shrewflame. He glanced back at Estherfern and Lightningrunner and called, "Ms. Lightningrunner, are you going to spar too?"

"I'll let you start with your brother!" Lightningrunner called. Estherfern found a partially dry spot closer to the trees. She sat her bandage down and tucked her paws under herself. Lightningrunner sat beside her, tail stirring the dusting of snow behind her. Shrewflame steadied himself, paws dug into the sand. Whitepaw copied him as best he could. His legs stretched out a bit too far to look comfortable.

"I'll start simple," Shrewflame said. "A lot of the basics of fighting involve the sort of moves cats instinctually use when they're in danger. Paw swipes, grabbing onto your enemy, things like that. Let's start with swipes. Swipe at my face, as best you—" Whitepaw's fluffy paw whipped out from his awkward stance. He smacked Shrewflame across the face. Shrewflame stumbled to the side, blinking wildly.

"Ah!" Whitepaw yelped. "Sorry, sorry! Are you okay?" Whitepaw hovered around Shrewflame, now scared to get too close. But Shrewflame just laughed. He shook out his pelt, letting his laughter ripple through his ginger fur.

"Now that was a swipe!" Shrewflame roared, rubbing his face on his leg. "StarClan, Whitepaw! Who knew you were so strong?" Whitepaw chuckled awkwardly, but his ears perked high and his tail unwound itself from his side.

Shrewflame went on about angling your paw and steadying yourself after a strike, but Estherfern's attention drifted. The forest had grown grayer by the day, and the snow meant approaching death and hibernation to the plants her fellow clerics so valued. She never imagined caring so much about medical stocks, but she never imagined any of this when she first set off west under the orders of her God.

"These two will be fine," Estherfern huffed to Lightningrunner, stretching as she stood. "I'm going to forage. Will you help?"

"Alright," Lightningrunner said, getting to her paws. Estherfern left her bandage behind and led Lightningrunner into the trees as Shrewflame and Whitepaw laughed and batted at each other.

RippleClan would soon turn to bark-based medicine as winter rolled in and vibrant herbs vanished, but it wasn't winter yet. It was the sort of weather where everything looked a bit like Estherfern; brown and tan and earthy. She could see how the world fought to ignore the approaching chill, even though the first frost had settled over the land. Green grass mixed with yellow, insisting on life. The earliest of winter blooms still dared not to show themselves. The land was waiting, preparing, hoping for a peaceful winter, just like all the Clans.

Estherfern brushed aside snow to get a better look at every plant. Not too far from Battle Beach, she uncovered chicory, its leaves almost identical to a dandelion. Artisans and caretakers could roast the root for their meals and strengthen everyone's stomaches. Estherfern carefully dug around the leaves and plucked the root from the frosty dirt.

"Is this something we should collect?" Lightningrunner called. Her paw danced around a large fallen branch, sprinkled with golden-brown mushrooms. Estherfern joined Lightningrunner and looped around the branch. She studied the mushrooms and their round caps, with a name quickly coming to mind.

"Deadly skullcaps," Estherfern warned, shaking her head. "I knew these mushrooms in my kithood. They are some of the most toxic mushrooms any cat has ever seen. They're as deadly as deathberries. Don't touch them."

Estherfern trotted back to her chicory root and picked it up. She glanced back at Lightningrunner, ready for the young historian to follow her to better, safer herbs. Yet Lightningrunner just stood there. She stared at the deadly skullcaps. Her dark blue eyes were slit and sharp. Her unnerving, unblinking glare drifted onto Estherfern.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Estherfern huffed, dropping the chicory root. Lightningrunner looked back to the deadly skullcaps.

"You should eat them," Lightningrunner said. Estherfern's claws instinctually slipped out. Her ears perked high, turning sideways, alert and ready.

"Say that again," Estherfern said. Lightningrunner's whiskers pushed back against her face. Her ears slowly turned backward, fighting not to go back. She looked at Estherfern once more. Her jaw quivered, searching for the path forward.

"You…" Lightningrunner gulped. She steadied herself, just as Shrewflame readied for Whitepaw's initial strike. "You should eat them. You, you should eat them, and you should die."

"By God, Lightningrunner, you're talking nonsense," Estherfern snapped. "What's gotten into you?"

"I," Lightningrunner stammered, "You… Ugh! What sort of justice is it when a killer goes free?" Lightningrunner curled her lips.

"Again, Lightningrunner," Estherfern growled, "you're talking nonsense. Justice? What justice?"

"You know what justice!" Lightningrunner cried. Her voice rose so fast and violent that Estherfern jumped. Estherfern never jumped. "You know what you did! You summoned the spirits. You got my mom killed!" Ah. That justice.

"I was wondering if you would ask me about that someday," Estherfern sighed, smoothing her pelt. "I don't have good answers for you, Lightningrunner. I meddled with forces I thought I could control, and RippleClan suffered for it. I've done what I can to atone."

"No you haven't," Lightningrunner whined. "You got away with it because Foampaw died, but what about Silverpaw? What about my mom? Do you think there's anything you can do to make up for that? I never saw her body, Estherfern! She was my mom! You took her from me! I barely got to know her! Why do you get to be a mother when she didn’t get to be mine?" Estherfern had no clever retort to that. She dipped her head, but her eyes caught a flash of red in the trees. Shrewflame and Whitepaw slowly approached the arguing pair, ears cocked in confusion.

"I'm sorry, Lightningrunner," Estherfern sighed, straightening, "but I'm not killing myself for you."

"Yes, yes you are," Lightningrunner growled, tail curling, voice cracking. "Eat the mushrooms, or… or I'll just kill you myself!" Shrewflame and Whitepaw ran. Lightningrunner's eyes bounced, blind to all but her own vengeance. "Eat them! Eat them, you foxheart!"

Lightningrunner ran at Estherfern. Whitepaw, small Whitepaw, too-strong-for-his-age Whitepaw, launched past his brother and landed on Lightningrunner's neck, a tail-length from Estherfern. Whitepaw's fangs dug into her scruff, but no, it wasn't her scruff, his jaw wasn't in the right spot, it was her neck, her spine, Whitepaw let go right now—

Light sparked in Lightningrunner's eyes as a violent spasm took over her body. Blood splashed in Whitepaw's mouth. Lightningrunner's strength ebbed away. Her claws, tense and ready to strike, relaxed. She grew limp as leather underneath Whitepaw. Lightningrunner didn't even have time to whine before her life left her.

Whitepaw let go. Shrewflame stumbled upon the scene, his body begging to retreat. Estherfern stood over Lightningrunner's body. She no longer looked like a killer. She looked like a kit.

Whitepaw whined, a wordless, painful cry. He fell off Lightningrunner's body. He ran to Shrewflame, burying his bloody face in his brother's red fur.

"How…" Shrewflame gulped. "What… I don't…"

"I was trying to pull her off!" Whitepaw wailed, voice muffled in Shrewflame's pelt. "I didn't want her to hurt Ms. Estherfern! I didn't want to hurt her!"

"White, White, I know," Shrewflame cooed. He slowly wrapped himself around his weeping brother, hiding all traces of blood-stained white fur from the world. Whitepaw shook so hard that Shrewflame struggled to stay upright. "I know, I know. It was an accident. I know, White. You didn't mean it."

But would the Clan see it that way? Another dead Clanmate, killed, murdered. It had nothing to do with Potterypool, but would anyone believe them? Estherfern barely believed her own senses. An apprentice, barely a quarter moon into training, somehow landing a killing bite on a well-trained historian? Not just any historian, the little sister to one of RippleClan's most unified and beloved families, the daughter of Weedfoot, the Celestial of RippleClan Deputies. The three cats who stood before Lightningrunner's body were outsiders, welcomed into the safety of the shipwreck. Would any of them be allowed to remain after this? Who would believe Lightningrunner, of all cats, would suddenly try to kill Estherfern? Who would see Whitepaw's actions as justified?

No. Whitepaw and Shrewflame were barely out of kithood. They wouldn't suffer for a mess Estherfern caused. This was justice.

"Both of you, listen to me," Estherfern snapped. Shrewflame and Whitepaw snapped out of their shock for just a moment, looking up. Whitepaw looked pink with the blood on his lips. "I'm going to fix this. Nothing will happen to you, Whitepaw. Shrewflame, here, now." Shrewflame slipped himself out from around Whitepaw and crept closer to Lightningrunner's body. Estherfern studied the deadly wound. Even though Whitepaw was close to full-grown, it was clear that no adult cat bit into Lightningrunner. "Shrewflame, I need you to bite into Lightningrunner. You have to cover up Whitepaw's teethmarks."

"But—" Shrewflame stammered, gagging on the thought.

"Shrewflame, we are doing this to protect your brother," Estherfern growled. "Bite her neck, now."

Shrewflame's lips curled, almost prancing in his indecision. But then he looked back at Whitepaw, with wide eyes and his awful, bloody face. Shrewflame hardened. He squeezed his eyes tight and snapped his fangs around the back of Lightningrunner's neck. Estherfern tuned out the squish of flesh and bone.

"Now, both of you, to the ocean," Estherfern ordered as Shrewflame let go and hurried back to Whitepaw. "You're going to wash the blood out of your fur. Don't get out until it's all gone. Then you're going to run to camp and tell the codekeepers that Lightningrunner is dead." Whitepaw pressed against Shrewflame. "This is what happened. While you were swimming, Lightningrunner went to investigate a sound in the forest. When she didn't come back, we went to find her. We found her body. We don't know who did this. We were on the beach. We heard nothing."

"I killed her," Whitepaw whined.

"No you didn't," Estherfern growled, trying to soften her voice. "Not anymore. No one will know. You're not in trouble. You're my hero, Whitepaw, you did nothing wrong. Now go." Whitepaw moved toward Estherfern, but Shrewflame nudged him back. He shook his head, wide eyes glancing at Lightningrunner. He shoved Whitepaw back toward the beach. The two young toms scrambled out of sight.

Estherfern paced around Lightningrunner's body. She brushed the snow with her tail, removing nearby pawprints. No one would be able to tell which way the attacker came from, even if they questioned the patrol's story. With her tail coated in frost and the scene firmly scuffled, Estherfern sat at Lightningrunner's side, like a cleric mourning her charge.

"You stupid child," Estherfern moaned, lowering her head into Lightningrunner's pelt.

No one would know.

(Estherfern: 123, female, cleric, adventurous, great mediator, prophecy seeker)

(Whitepaw: 6, male, historian apprentice, nervous, active imagination)

(Shrewflame: 13, male, teacher, loyal, fast as the wind)

(Lightningrunner: 19, female, historian, nervous, explorer, helpful insight)

[Image ID: Estherfern says to Lemmy, "I don't want to ruin her legacy over a moment of weakness. Do you want the Clan to look at Whitepaw like a killer?" Halibutdusk, Scaleripple, and Oilstripe approach from the distance.]

---

At the end of the story, Lemmy could only sit and think it through. Honeybuzz and Estherfern stared at her, silent, squirming. The quarantine den seemed even colder now.

"No one would know," Lemmy muttered, staring at Estherfern. "Yet you told Honeybuzz."

"I have…" Honeybuzz groaned, "let's say experience with issues like these. Do you understand why we can't let the Clan know now?"

"Call me a hypocrite for this," Lemmy huffed, "but if Lightningrunner tried to kill you, Estherfern, wouldn't you want the Clan to know?" Estherfern bristled.

"None of it would have happened if I had not communed with Spirits of Shadow," the old cleric sighed. "Lightningrunner had the right to be mad at me. I don't want to ruin her legacy over a moment of weakness. Do you want the Clan to look at Whitepaw like a killer?"

Pawsteps broke the snow outside. It had gotten brighter in the time Estherfern spent telling her story. Now morning light burned against the trees beyond. Scaleripple, Halibutdusk, and Oilstripe stood outside, stone still. Time for the trial. Lemmy sighed and stood, squaring herself in front of her Clanmates' painful gaze.

"We need a little more time, please," Honeybuzz stammered, getting up and close to Lemmy's escorts. "We want this to be easy on the Clan. We're not done talking with Lemmy."

"I want her out of this camp," Scaleripple growled. Oilstripe cleared her throat, diverting Scaleripple's boiling blue hate away from Lemmy for a moment.

"The spirits in here are agitated," Oilstripe whispered, ears tilting back, ruffling the thick maple leaves stuck to her fur. "We don't want a long trial. If they can make her tell the truth now, the whole Clan won't have to hurt for long."

"Everyone's waiting, Oilstripe," Halibutdusk huffed.

"I know," Oilstripe groaned, "but do you think they'd rather sit there all day or wait a bit longer and be done with all this before sunhigh?" Halibutdusk and Scaleripple both squirmed, but neither confronted their deputy. Oilstripe turned to Honeybuzz and said, "Lead her out into the clearing when you're finished here." Honeybuzz nodded as Oilstripe led Scaleripple and Halibutdusk back around the shipwreck.

"We don't have long, Lemmy," Estherfern sighed. "I know you don't see your actions as strictly right and wrong, so why see this differently? There's no crazed killer living in our Clan. Don't make them suffer more than they already are." Lemmy's neck itched under her collar. Her head ached. Was there any good decision here? Was this any different than Lemmy's own coverup? Did the truth deserve to come to light? Or would the truth hurt worse than the lie?

"If I say I killed both Potterypool and Lightningrunner," Lemmy said softly, "what then?"

"Unless something strange happens at the trial," Honeybuzz explained, "Downstar has promised to exile you. Just play along with Waspdawn's version of events." Exile… not much different from the life Lemmy knew before RippleClan, before the Witch Hunters. And it wasn't as though she would lack purpose. There were still threats to the cats she cared for, threats to her kits and mate. She would do more good alive than dead. Even if it meant never seeing her daughters again. Maybe they would understand, one day.

"Do one thing for me, in return," Lemmy said. "Take care of my family."

"You deserve that, at least," Honeybuzz sighed. "Thank you. Are you ready, then?" Lemmy slowly approached the edge of the quarantine den. She could smell the grief and rage wafting off her Clan, just around the corner. The sun burned the land in brilliant purple and red, yet no warmth pierced the snow that muffled all birdsong. The walls of the shipwreck burned with illusionary fire. A good final view of her home.

"Take me to my exile," Lemmy sighed.

(Lemmy: 66, female, exiled, cold, deep StarClan bond, good mediator)

(Honeybuzz: 38, male, cleric, daring, skilled toolsmith, good teacher)

(Estherfern: 124, female, cleric, adventurous, great mediator, prophecy seeker)

(Scaleripple: 43, male, warrior, lonesome, formidable fighter)

(Oilstripe: 94, female, deputy, charismatic, ghost speaker)

(Halibutdusk: 82, nonbinary (they/them), warrior, gloomy, masterful storyteller, clever)

[nabi-unveiled]

When Dialogue Misses the Mark

Perfect 10 Liners, we ran into a bit of a problem today. You see - I ADORE the Yotha/Gun storyline. Seriously. I didn't enjoy Arc/Arm at all and had largely wrote off this show, but Yotha/Gun brought me back. I've greatly enjoyed watching this black brooder and his crying sunshine navigate their traumas and find comfort in each other.

But your dialogue missed the mark for me today.

I didn't understand how Klao not fighting back met Warich's demands.

It felt like I was missing something in that exchange, but I didn't really care so much. I have ugly thoughts about Warich anyways.

I side-eyed this line A LOT.

Telling a sunshine character that tries to hide his pain behind a smile not to cry? I don't like it one bit. Let the man feel. This situation was scary. But I at least understood the intention, and the rest of the scene was solid. Yotha isn't really saying to hide the pain. He doesn't want Gun to be sad at all, and he's trying to calm him down.

But that brings us to the rest of the episode.

We KNOW Yotha cares about Gun. We know he's commited. But does Gun? He hopes. He wants to believe it. But Yotha has left Gun on read too many times for him to feel fully confident in this relationship yet, and that's not counting the remaining doubts about Wa. Sure Gun's hopeful, but he's also unsure and insecure.

Gun asks for reassurance in why Yotha loves him. Yotha gives a non-answer.

Gun calls him out. Yotha gives another NON-ANSWER that basically reinforces that idea that he needs to be happy and is only valued for being cute. We know what he means, but this isn't valid reassurance for Gun.

Then we got to "the scene". The shots were solid, and the chemistry was on point. But the dialogue left me depressed. I LIKE Yotha. I KNOW Yotha cares about Gun. I BELIEVE they are good for one another. I still wanted to whisk Gun away.

Yotha asks if they can go further. Gun defers saying they're not a couple.

The feelings were there. We had good, solid build up to reach this point. But you can see that Gun is immediately spiraling thinking that Yotha is pulling back because he didn't enthusiastically agree to go further.

Yotha asks for them to be a couple. I KNOW this was supposed to be a squee-inducing moment. But it really didn't feel that way to me. "We can't have sex unless we're a couple? Fine, we're a couple. Happy now?" This dialogue. Woof. It cheapened Yotha's feelings SO MUCH.

Then we reach the dubcon. Now I can generally overlook and even enjoy dubcon with many characters/situations. As long as they're not asleep, the character can typically push back or cave in and the narrative continues. There are often kinks or other factors in play. I'll generally allow it. It's dramaland and not real life after all.

But it's not Gun's nature to push back against Yotha and power dynamics ARE in play. To be frank, he CAN'T push back against Yotha. Yotha even acknowledged the power imbalance earlier in the episode. Gun isn't Rain from LITA with an obvious "no kink". When he said "I don't know", it's because he's still genuinely unsure about where this relationship stands.

He's not playing coy. He's not a brat (generally). Gun's been on an emotional roller coaster, and he hasn't exited the platform yet. HE'S NOT READY. But good puppies obey their owners even when it's something they don't want to do. And that just makes me sad.

Thanks to the dialogue, this whole scene disappointed me. It was nicely filmed. The actors did great. But the writers needed to do better by these characters.

So, I'll go backwards and remain here.

Yotha shielding Gun, and this mutual "are you hurt?" moment. Now that was dialogue worth watching.

[asarigg]

About: Part 2

DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. PATH TO HEALING: part 2

Despite all this tension and mistrust, the next scene is full of gentleness. Aoba is extremely embarrassed and worried that he vomited on Koujaku, staining his kimono. But despite having such an important goal in mind, and the distance he’s causing by not wanting to involve him, taking care of Aoba right now and carrying him back home is more important. Aoba is so worried about having stained his kimono and Koujaku brushes it off, not only that but also uses his sleeve to clean it up. A kimono that signifies his identity, that is reminiscent of his mother, of her nurturing, something so personal.

I feel that after seeing Koujaku leave, Aoba felt especially vulnerable, those feelings of helplessness and neglect, that jealousness, sharpened by his discomfort after the effect of the drugs. So now it’s not only about Koujaku’s care, but also the warmth and affection placed on him that makes him feel better.

The main reason for Aoba's distrust towards Koujaku happens when he discovers the amount of tattoos and scars he had running through his body. The person he shared unique and intimate things with, only for the two of them, was not only leaving him alone but also hiding something from him, and the tattoos only confirmed it. What could be so serious that Koujaku is hiding it from him? Like we said before, it being solely because of the yakuza is kind of unlikely because he’s friendly with Virus and Trip, and you can’t possibly compare them to the friendship he has with Koujaku. So the shock mostly comes from feeling like his trust and friendship aren’t reciprocated, that he isn’t anyone special to him, that Koujaku is pushing him away and doesn’t want him by his side, he feels betrayed, lonely, rejected. He put all his trust in him, his hero, but it looks like Koujaku doesn’t hold him in high enough regard to confide in him. And so his heart breaks.

If one doesn’t trust, the other can’t either. They’re equals, and one can’t be without the other. But now, in a way, Koujaku is leaving him behind, and it could also remind him of how he left when they were children, of his parents, it’s a devastating feeling. That’s why he dreams about his childhood, a return to his most comforting memories, in which there was no distance or mistrust, in which Koujaku never pushed him away, rather, he was always with him, searching for him.

Alright, this is completely unnecessary in my opinion. It’s something so obvious I’m still surprised to see people reading this the wrong way, so that’s why I decided to include it. It’s something so important and shocking that it’s a shame that it’s interpreted in such a wrong way by either extreme censorship (crazy being a dmmd fan) or simple bias, because it’s been something that happens the twelve years the game has been around that people talk about this scene as if this was something that Koujaku ever wanted to happen or had made this decision on his own. What’s funny is that this is the usual coming from people who don’t like him, but surprisingly enough people that do like him sometimes also agree and then you can’t excuse it with rage bait. I really don’t understand how this can keep happening because one of the main plots of the entire game that moves the characters to act is precisely the brainwashing and mental manipulation that Toue wants to force on people. Each character has some personal relationship with this and it’s so blatant that I didn’t think I would continue to see these kinds of conclusions to this day and age.

It’s raining, Aoba returns to Glitter and a little while later Koujaku arrives too, soaked from head to toe and with a grim face. Although Aoba isn’t sure who he is referring to, because he doesn’t know the danger he entails, we know perfectly well that he’s pissed off because he saw him talking to Ryuuhou. During the conversation Aoba notices he was looking at something behind him, all that happens here goes exactly as the tattoo artist wanted, it’s all part of his plan, of his manipulation. Like we said before, rain is representative of the dragon's influence.

Somehow, what Koujaku is feeling now is the same thing Aoba has been feeling when he saw him leave. Anger, jealousy, disappointment and betrayal. He has seen the person he loves talking to his worst nightmare personified, the person he was looking for with the intention of killing him. His emotions are already unstable, but seeing them together upsets him so much that he’s no longer in full use of his faculties, with the tattoo consuming him, only managing to get angrier and angrier until he throws Aoba to the bed. First thing he does is to bite him, because it’s like he’s marking him as his in some way, like territory. His tattoos take over his body, over his feelings, and externalizes them in the worst way.

He’s becoming more and more irrational. Before he had a serious face, but now he’s getting angrier and angrier. This scene isn’t supposed to be hot (unless you’re into noncon lmao), it’s a scene where they’re pushing their relationship to the edge of a cliff, to a point of no return, these are the consequences and they either act now or they’ll be broken forever. There’s no need to have the full rape package because the point has already been made. It would just be for the sake of making the trauma more painful just for the kink and it just doesn’t fit. Considering how fast the entire story develops, the whole “Aoba forgives Koujaku” arc in order to have a good ending, it would probably feel empty and weightless.

I get the feeling that since Koujaku can still talk here, unlike the bad ending, people see it as if he’s actively controlling his body and just letting his anger peek (at most, he’d be only partially controlling it with the influence of the tattoo, or he’d be seeing it in “third person”, kind of like how Aoba can remember a bit of his life when Sly was controlling their body, but it’s not him). It’s pretty obvious that he’s not listening to Aoba, not only he doesn’t stop until he uses his power, he doesn’t answer his questions about what the hell he was talking about either. He’s not being rational, he just keeps repeating the same thing over and over until he can’t talk anymore. (His tattoo doesn’t need to be mature to do tremendous damage to his loved ones, to be honest no wonder he wanted to kill himself after this lol).

In the confession scene he also mentions that he vaguely remembers touching Aoba in this scene, the translations are actually a bit confusing because some suggest that Koujaku basically says that he liked how it felt even though he felt sorry about it being non-consensual, and others have a more reasonable answer where he says something like “I kind of remember what happened and I could only wish it was different”. I honestly lean towards the second one, because the first translation, which I think is the most popular one, already had several mistakes or slightly confusing translations and this one would be no exception, the implications are different. Honestly, just one more reason why I wished he would just say that he remembered literally making out with him in Scrap because this part only helps people to put the blame directly on him as if he had ever wanted that in the first place.

I need people to understand that the berserk form, beast Koujaku, whatever you wanna call it, is the same to Koujaku as Sly is to Aoba. They are forces of destruction that desire death and violence, with some kind of supernatural focus, beast Koujaku based on pure instinct, and Sly in a more sadistic way, consciously doing harm. You can’t expect any morality from them, and especially not from a beast. When Sly is in control, Aoba still remembers things that happen and vice versa. Koujaku remembering parts of what happens isn’t new and it doesn’t mean he was in control, period. I don’t see people blaming Aoba for what Sly does, so why would he be blamed for this? Even Aoba himself straight up tells you it’s not the same person, it’s impossible to know the tattoo exists and still thinking that this is somehow voluntary.

I’ve also seen people say that for some reason Koujaku fans just ignore this scene, as if we wanted to ignore anything slightly problematic or hinting at this being part of Koujaku’s personality in some shape or form, like we can’t stand the “fact” that he has any hint of malice in him and we don’t acknowledge it because we’re in a bubble dream world and it couldn’t be a worse misreading of the entire character. I can’t believe that it came from someone who liked Koujaku because it feels so disrespectful to him, to his story and who he is, basically all we’ve talked about so far. One thing is to have hcs and the other is to treat it as the canon truth and disrespect others because they don’t share those hcs that are pretty much incompatible with the character. Besides, I’m sorry, what else should we be talking about? They talk like this could happen in any other situation, and no. It wouldn’t because Koujaku didn’t choose this. They truly believe that a character who doesn’t have malice for some reason is a character without flaws or imperfections, and if they like this character it must be because there’s something bad in him that makes him a grey character, so they can keep enjoying their edginess. Got the wrong character, Koujaku’s imperfections and “impurities” are far apart from that selfish facet they wanted to give him. His lack of communication and his self destructive careless attitude of carrying everything on his own, the way he behaves giving less importance to himself and his inability to break the cycle by not relying on someone else are what builds him. If anything, being more selfish is what he needs, to be honest. Bad things can happen even if the intentions are good, it's a good natured character with nuances and flaws, to put it simple. And the good thing about Koujaku and Aoba is just how versatile they are, you can almost go with anything in your fiction and you'll probably find details and nuances about their characters that you can include there so it still feels like them, while separating from the strictly canon and exploring your own ideas.

I've mentioned this before on my Twitter account, long time ago. I personally wish they’d left more time to develop the feelings after this part of Glitter because Aoba immediately leaves and gets drugged by Ryuuhou. Same story, everything in the game happens really fast. With that in mind I think it’s fair to not take it too much into account, like many other things, and just imagine what would happen and that’s it. Because it’s true that they talk about it a bit, but then move on to something else right away and there’s no processing of what happened, the scene doesn’t feel as heavy as it should, like “Well, that just happened”. It’s the ultimate act of betrayal for god’s sake.

Ren recognizing Beni’s wings’ flapping like there aren’t a hundred other bird allmates that do the same sound will never not be iconic, truly an old man yaoi moment.

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

'...you know jokes like those actually hurt me, right?'

"who said I was joking?"

.

.

.

'oh.'

[ourceliumnetwork]

i think i'm like. really in denial sometimes about how much pain i'm just Casually In...

OH NO WAIT HANG ON WAIT ACTUALLY MY MEDICINE WORE OFF AND I DID LIKE A LOT OF UNANTICIPATED ACTIVITY NEVER MIND I'M DUMB I'M HURTING FOR ACTUAL REASONS THIS TIME

[thelemonsnek]

[video description: a turnaround video of an abstract clay model. It is of a creature walking forward with fin-like tendrils coming off its back in waves. End id]

Model I did for class! Probably I'll be choosing this one for my larger sculpture :)

[silent-sentinels]

i need everyone to understand that i am trying my best and i hate every second of it.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[raimi]

the problem with nice pretty pain scales is that sometimes you are slowly coming to the realization that you don't properly know what "not pain" feels like in the first place

[guinevereslancelot]

why do i feel weirdly guilty for taking a day off of work to have necessary surgery 🤡

[koi-does-emotions]

i feel like my parents or at least my mom is so close to GETTING it. like. she has a certain viewpoint on the whole political climate. as a whole. and the way she describes it. you're SO CLOSE to getting it but YOU'RE not the one they're going after right now.

you're SO SO SO SO close where if you just applied this same train of thought to trans people or disabled people or jewish people or people of color and thought even SLIGHTLY harder about it you'd realize that you're supporting the people who'd LIKE them to just Shut Up And Die!!! that you're so fucking close to getting it but its being applied to THE SIDE THATS DOING THE FUCKING OPPRESSING!!!!!!!!! and i wish i knew the right things to say to make that Happen. But I Don't. and i HATE it

[noxtivagus]

i shld sleep oh my god