#if ur asking me which is better. well .......
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niijima akechi sibs and futaba akechi sibs
annoying younger brother energy vs annoying older brother energy .. FIGHT !!
#op what does this mean#if ur asking me which is better. well .......#i admit to having a preference#SAE 🔛🔝‼️#to me akechi isnt really a featherman fan#he just refuses to not know what ppl r talking about#it was an enjoyable childhood show#now he proves his superiority with the amount of lore he can memorize#“did you know feather green wa—” “AHHHH !!!”#persona 5#p5#persona 5 royal#p5r#procreate#2024#goro akechi#sae niijima#makoto niijima#futaba sakura#sojiro sakura#2 hours#taitavva sketches
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I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms
yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.
anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).
but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.
im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)
whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.
of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.
otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.
#rezero#tldr: english fandom sets the bar so low (unless ur on rz tumblr) that the japanese fandom def seems a bit better by comparison#in terms of. Calmness levels.#every time i step into a rezero space that isnt tumblr i get a little worried my heads gonna get bitten off by someone HAH#recently someone tried arguing with me over how i interpret otto (this was on reddit) and then said stuff that showed they did Not#understand his character that well so that was awkward 😭😭😭#even just by looking at otto fanart from the japanese fandom it seems like more people understand his character there. in the english fandom#he is. either Not There or his flaws are just handwaved away or replaced with Different flaws#atm hes the most obvious example i can think of when it comes to. how differently characters can be percieved by different parts of a fandom#for rezero. like hes near invisible here but ottosuba being almost on the same level as REINSUBA in jp fanbase is crazy to me#kinda reminds me of the disney’s duffy and friends line and how it failed in the us but its SUPER popular in asia. really fascinating#and also yeah some of the english fandom seems. more loudly misogynistic and homophobic which is very unfortunate#also im sorry ill never forgive that random person on reddit i just said one (1) thing on otto and they came for my throat like fr 😭😭😭#ask#i do wonder why reinsuba is so popular but thats probs bc reinhards well loved too and also hes op. which is a bonus for the english fandom#bc theyre into all the power scaling stuff. and also reinhard gets the other bonus of being a guy and he isnt shafted by canon. hes treated#very sympathetically which is another bonus akdnsn#i say this as a reinhard fan btw but as an emilia fan im also crying bc theyre SO SIMILAR and yet why do people hate emilia….#but u know. reins a guy and we havent got his pov yet so there isnt much to hate.
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i was crying in front of a sidewalk tonight and someone in a passing car asked to me through their window "you alright?" honestly didnt even know what they expected
#i cant answer u man. ur driving away#thats fine. i suppose i appreciate the ask?#i was out there for like an hour. not all of it was crying. for at least 20 minutes in the beginning i was just sitting sullen#no tears coming out.#some ppl seemed to honk at me which was really weird#like. why would u honk at someone... for... that??#i was nowhere near the road#tales from diana#at one point a nice lady said from over a fence (there was an outdoor seating area about 10 ft away) she said#'u seem really sad. is there anything i can help with? what's wrong?'#i was like no thank u and i can't really explain right now#she offered me seltzer which i refused. i probably wouldn't have refused if i hadn't been feeling so awful#i don't think anyone could hear me and i was very much like in a corner not bothering anyone#but there was no hiding that i was sitting there by myself crying and i was like. well if this is the situation i guess i gotta be ok w it#u get what u get. but depression won tonight ladies and gentlemen#i have calmed down although i dont 'feel better'. goodnight sleep tight
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i think the key to bts not going insane monitoring themselves constantly is that they do go insane. half of them have the most skewed self perception i have ever encountered
u know what actually thats so true……i go insane in the sense that i shrivel away from my reflection like a vampire in the sun but they must go insane in the long term fucked up distorted sense of self way 😭
#sometimes i wonder if jimin or jungkook regret not having stage names#like im sure theyve already talked abt it and been like ‘me alone and me on stage r the same person :)’ etc#which i believe but also. wouldnt it be easier to monitor ur performances if u were looking at it as if thats not You#not necessarily better but. easier#like jungkook watching a performance playback like Thats not me thats seagull and seagull needs to fix that one part#instead of getting tangled up in I Am not good Enough bc i messed up a performance#which im glad they dont seem to think that way as much now#idk what im on about im sleep deprived. anyways every kpop idol must have a baseline level of some kind of insanity#no way they could look at themselves so much without that#except seokjin idk he seems mentally Well snd chill almost always#asks#gab tag
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hella I'm out for a friend's bday and I typically don't visit restaurants like it's a whole thing w my friends how UNAWARE I am of shit. Anyways so I ordered a burger that I didn't know would have so fucking much added on it, this thing was HUGGEEEEE I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT WARN ME ABT THIS. I was chided by my friends for not requesting a burger with less on it, I DIDNT KNOW. so this burgers huge I don't know how to eat it I'm cutting it into pieces and it's falling apart and there's stuff I'm trying to pick off of it, it is a nightmare on my plate my friends are absolutely making fun of me with how I've just decimated this thing. and um. I wore my nice clothes today I can't lie it was my fit with my patched up jean jacket and pinwheel hat also I've got a mullet and my hair curls so ive been told i could he on stranger things. very silly of me. WELL I GUESS IT GOT ALL THE WAITRESSES ATTENTION. THEY WOULD COME OVER JUST TO SAY THEY REALLY LIKED MY OUTFIT AND IM HERE HUNCHED OVER MY PLATE I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. the waitress who took my plate was so nice abt it but I've suffered greatly today
CANT BELIEVE IM SEEING THIS SO LATE BUT THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY. you got beaten by a burger. do better
#im glad the waitresses were nice!!!!!! imo compliments from waitresses are the most authentic kind#it's like if a child says you're cool like you KNOW they're being dead fucking honest for better or worse#and waitressing you have soooo many interactions like it's such a socially draining job that anxiety tends to go out the window#even with introverted waitresses so odds are they were literally just saying it for no other reason than bc it's true#i had the reverse the other day i was in the toilets middle of my long as fuck shift trying to fix myself bc i just looked and felt grim#and this random customer came out and was like 'i love your eyeliner btw!' and i almost CRIEDDDDDD#bc id had an utter meltdown with my eyeliner that morning as well like it was NOT a good eyeliner day i fully rubbed it all off#and started again at one point which NEVER happens to me. so she said that and i was like girl do not do this to me rn 😭#anyway im getting off topic! glad ur outfit was bomb and that ur friends laughed at you for being unable to defeat a burger <3#ask
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Don't know whether it's a product of my upbringing or just part of who I am, but I really do tend to shrug off things that seem to send others into massive guilt spirals. Like, what's the point? Either you meant to do it or you didn't. If you meant to do it but regret it now, make what amends you can & resolve to do better, then move on. If you didn't mean to, be honest about it, apologize if need be, & try to do better. Then move on.
Beating yourself up truly serves no purpose. What are we, catholic? If there is a god, I truly don't think they'd care, anyways
#speculation nation#religion might have some part in it. i was taught a flavor of christianity that portrayed god as loving above all else.#portrayed god as *forgiving*. thats the point of jesus dying on the cross? forgiving your sins?#i was taught that so long as you tried to do good and believed in god then you would go to heaven.#none of that internalized guilt shit. it really serves no purpose.#this could potentially stem from prior abuse too. in which case. well. i hope people can break out of those patterns of thought. sincerely.#i have a history with abuse but idk ive run under a 'fuck those people' mentality. why should i run by the way they treated me?? genuinely.#no one person is singularly horrible and irredeemable. no not even you.#youre your harshest critic. you have front row seats to all ur nasty thoughts. things that most people dont say out loud.#everyone has nasty thoughts though. some more than others. but what matters is what you *do*. not what you think.#no one is gonna know any mean or awful thoughts you have if you dont tell them. thought crimes arent real. what matters is what you *do*.#and even for the things you do wrong. everyone makes mistakes. just work to do better next time.#genuinely makes me so sad to see polls asking about ppl's self perceptions & seeing majority of ppl so down on themselves.#like come on. i used to think i was an awful person bc i knew all the mean and kind of manipulative things id think.#but eventually i recognized that no one is perfect and everyone has ugly thoughts. just do your best to do good & learn from your mistakes.#if you do that much then youre a well-meaning human being. not perfect but no one is. that should be enough.#maybe if i exhibit enough of my 'idgaf' attitude about this kind of thing i can influence some other ppl with it as well. 🤔🤔 hmmm
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How can I be offline more even when I’m depressed? I can’t go on walks or hang out with anyone so I need help and I’ve seen you do good with your tumblr breaks and getting outside
Honestly the only reason i can go offline the way i do is because i tell everyone i wont be online until i do such and such (in my case its typically writing a substack post) and because i made myself a little rule, im obligated to follow it if that makes sense ..... idk it works really well for my specific neuroses to have precise rules around screen use because im the type of person who needs to follow the rules i make myself or i lose it. So thats not much help unless your brain is wired like mine BUT for getting outside i usually have like a reward system of sorts??? Once again hinges on my love of making little rules for myself i guess but going outside means i get a cig and/or a drink (not the healthiest of motivations lol but its better than nothing).... if u cant go for walks i suggest also just finding a place to sit and hang out!!! Parks in ur area or even just outside wherever you live r good places for this.... if u have the pleasure of having a stoop to sit on i recommend sitting on it with some headphones and a book or podcast or whatevers up ur alley..... if u dont want to be talked to or looked at (me too <3) then doing this at night is pretty awesome. The more ur offline the easier it gets btw like ik everyone says that but fr the fomo disappears pretty quick. Good luck i love you stay gold
#idk if u were following me this summer but i picked specific days of the week to be online (weds+sat) and only was online then#which worked pretty well as opposed to going cold turkey. i cant rlly help as far as things to do bc i genuinely enjoy staring at the walls#i believe in u though i hope ur eating to the best of ur ability and staying hydrated <3 and always remember.#five minutes outside is better than not going out at all and an hour off the phone is better than not going offline at all!!! mwah ily#asks#anon!#l
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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one
#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin#which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it 👍#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things#i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after#n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them#and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too#it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal#bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens#which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly#urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts#pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that#but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing#after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth#and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens#this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today 💪💪💪 storm passed baby#.diaries
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SENDING MY FIRST ASK FROM THE NEW BLOG!!!! i feel like i am sending a letter from a new address... crazy. ANYWAY HOW R U TONIGHT!!!! i hope ur havin a good day!!!! kicking my feet like a teenager at a sleepover rn tell me abt ur day who r the blorbos in ur mind rn what kinda art r u workin on lately how's it going friend!!!
HIIIIIII HI HI . HELLO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG- i mean catboy cellbit!!! . dude i am. dreading the coming week tbh but it is fine !! we will get thru it we will survive!!! i am so sleepytired but alas i also cannot sleep so i may just have another night of reading and music ahead of me . wah. i hope u are hsving a good night <3 IVE BEEN COMPLETELY ART NERFED TOO BTW. my laptop died on me a couple days ago and while i was able to find a new one affordably it will not be here until the 13th 😔 so no digital art from me for a while. sigh. i DID just decorate my new sketchbook with stickers tho so im hoping that will get my brain in gear for traditional art again. AS FOR BLORBOS. oh . u know. the usuals. vash the stampede. zacharie from off . masky marblehornets (also tim marblehornets) . to name three of them.
#who are ur blorbos rn. i dont watch qsmp i think sering ur posts abt it are really funny bc im like. guy walks into the room on fire gif.#i have no idea whats going on in here congratulations and/or my condolences <3#thank u thank u i love the sleepover vibes. literally had gossip talk w one of my other friends earlier#(name withheld for reasons but if u see this u know who u are and i love u )#so the vibes are so correct#i have 2 work tomorrow :( not looking forward 2 that.#however it IS my last day of my long term overnight job which means i will be able to sleep in my own bed tomoerow night.#this is something i have not done for like. close to a month now. whcih is why ive been sleeping so awfully! so hopefully that fixes me#also have. job interview on wednesday for another aquarium place..#fingers crossed this goes better than my last one but also part of me is kind of hoping it doesnt go well#bc i hate transitional periods and i dont want 2 go thru the moving process again#and i dont want 2 meet a bunch of new ppl all at once again. and do the while job training thing.#alas that is the anxiety talkimg and i do actually want the job bc it would be good for me <3#sorry it is late and im soooo fucking sleepy so im rambling !!!! do not feel like u have to respond to . gestures vaguely at all that#its blorbo talk time. i desperately want 2 warch more mh right now#however the house im.staying in IS in the middle of the woods and very isolated and i have been so scared and paranoid#so i am OUTTA LUCK sigh. i will simply watch smth silly instead like gg tmph or david attenborough or perhaps spongebob will b on the tv.#asks#friends!!!#false-anachronism#<< oh fuck new url!!! i got like halfway thru typing ur old one before i was like WAIT SHIT.
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Just got a check from the IRS that cured my depression
#at least for a month or so 🥹#apparently my taxes got fucked up so they owed me that + interest so girls.... fast food dollar menu is on me tonight ✨️#no but fr I can make a substantial dent in my credit card debt and have a bit left over for savings which is HUGE#since the whole phone incident wiped me out#my mom was saying stupid shit like 'it gets bad before it gets better' but for once she was actually right. even if it's just briefly#I actually cannot stress how much this means to me and I think I might actually cry in a minute#I try not to complain much cuz I know there are so many people worse off than me but it really has been bad lately#and I don't really have anyone to talk to it about irl cuz my family can't help so they'll just feel bad and suggest I work more#and my friends are people who (while I love them dearly) HAVE family who are fully capable of helping them financially without trouble so#they're always like 'just ask ur mom' and I always have to explain that there is literally not a single member of my family who has savings#like I said I do love them but that is the one area that frustrates me the most. they joke about growing up poor when in reality they were#actually middle class and then I was born and raised well under the poverty line and don't remember a time we werent on WIC or food stamps#I'm a little bitter about it. esp because they still rely on family to help and that's never been nor is it going to be an option for me.#but whatever. little rant over. tonight I can go to bed knowing I can cover my bills this month and hopefully next month is better#time for me to go have a cathartic cry.
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...
#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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still pissed about my friend's asshole of a friend who didn't give me any rules to their server and booted me for the crime of *checks notes*
playing on their server.
#no but rly they apparently kicked me for hopping on without telling anyone i was gonna be hopping on - ONE. TIME. booted me that night.#and i only had my friend in discord and no way to contact the server host#i complained to my friend that's a lil messed up and he let me know his friend “apparently didn't like me either”???#which is amusing to me because we.... didn't even interact with each other???? what the fuck did i even do?#and i'm annoyed that he's like “well oh well you are both my friends so i am staying out of it” BRO U INVITED ME. UR FRIEND WASTED MY TIME#not asking him to cancel his friendship or anything but to at least acknowledge “yeah that was fucked and shitty”#like he doesn't even have to TELL them#why are my friends so shitty and why can't i make better friends#i am so fucking tired#i want friends who will be as firey as i am for them and fight for them and defend them#at least be fucking supportive that's literally the bare minimum to being a good friend jfc#also i never even said i didn't like his friend#i literally do not even know them#my interactions with them were so minimal that i had no opinion of them#BUT NOW#i think they are a total dick
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i wrote this in the notes of another post originally and am copy + pasting it here because im right but "tell the cops nothing, tell the doctors everything" is such a stupid ass fucking abled take. doctors engage in policing idk how to explain to yall that some people cannot in fact just tell doctors everything without it putting them at risk
like im not gonna go into the myriad of ways this is bs but like a quick example is i cant tell my doctors about my substance use issues because if i get that listed on my medical records it will actively endanger me. It will impact how I'm treated in emergency situations and will get me labeled as "drug seeking" when i try to get other issues dealt with.
i dont say this to scare people but because this is actually important information for people to have. if a medical professional claims this isnt an issue, they are NOT "one of the good ones". they are either straight up lying or theyre utterly unaware, which is frankly not better. doctors are cops. never forget it
like YES tell ur doctor abt being sexually active but stop saying "tell the cops nothing and the doctor everything" before i start killing in cold blood
I KNOW THE ORIGINAL QUOTE. This is about how people misquote it, as well as how they view the phrase as meaning "all medical professionals". ALSO! emts are not the neutral figures you think they are. please stop spewing your lack of understanding on the topic all over my tags, its embarrassing. Paramedics kill people and engage in policing stop fucking shilling for them indiscriminately
finally, THIS POST IS ABOUT DRUGS. FIRST AND FOREMOST IT IS ABOUT DRUGS. THIS WAS WRITTEN BY AN ADDICT. the way yall are talking about addicts and drugs users in the tags is so fucking dehumanising. you are part of the problem. Id suggest non addicts shut their traps please and thank you.
similarly, before you comment, ask youself: am i an addict ? do i have an understanding of how addicts, particularly otherwise disabled addicts, have to navigate healthcare systems ? if not, consider SHUTTING THE FUCK UP. hope this helps !
read the notes before you leave a comment im so fucking serious. reblogs are off because none of you know how to act and i have zero patience at this point. if you think im being bitchy pls consider the fact that your stupid comment does not exist in a vacuum and i have received and deleted countless stupid notes and abusive asks on and about this post and your stupid comment exists within that context and i am fucking tired.
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when i feel very lonely i get fizzled out of doing anything after less than an hour
#the bin#been feeling much more lonely since moving into this apartment and i cant draw bc of it#cause i have trouble continuing things i was drawing earlier. when i try im filled with this horrible exhaustion and sadness#its easier to feel better when im living more alone because i can play music or walk around and talk to myself and try to make things#brighter for me but when im living with someone especially someone who i really dislike its just impossible to do#and worse i have to hear them be here which just makes me feel even worse#ugh. my relationship with my sister has gone from bleh to awful. her absolute refusal to take me into consideration for anything including#bringing people over at nogjt without even telling me at all. the last straw. absolutely the last straw#hey yknow id love it if in the middle of the noght when i want a snack and dont wanna get all dressed id like to know theres someone here#cause id rather not them need the bathroom the same time and im just in my underwear. but noooo i dont have the need to know theres#some other person in my facking home. nope not my right#the thing where she insists she tells me that she was gonna have someone over when she didnt has been pissing me off a lot because she#uses the fact i have a poor memory to say why actually i misremembered..shes like well ur perception of reality sucks so u THINK u#remember correctly but actually u totally dont but like. im not having problems rememberi g other things like that right now. and i#distinctly remember these conversations and i always make not of when someoens gonna be here and when you tell me i remember#and theres so much proof that she also forgets stuff. but i honestly think she might be intentionally lying abt it because she forgot#to ask or didnt want me to say no. well i am saying no. idc if theyre already here. yall can go hangout elsewhere bc i wasnt told abt tjis#and i deserve to have quiet in my own home. its literally all i have.#ive been feeling like maybe shes not so bad. people grow and change and sometimes you dontjat in different directions#and you dont get along well anymore. i hear her say to other people that im still her favorite person so its very one sided abt this#honestly though its not just that we dont get along well anymore but nobody is at fault because she is at fault#its not like i never let her bring people over. i do. im just askingmthat im notified first. and her response to forgetting or choosing not#to tell me is to use my mental health things against me to say im just too mentally ill to knoq if i remember tnings cleatly#then how come tnis only ever happens with this thing or cleaning stuff? it ONLY rver happens with stuff that she wouldve needed to tell me#about that are important. oh an important bill i needed to know abt but u didnt tell me? i did but u forgot.#but never anything else. its only ever tnings that she would be in the wrong for not telling me about if she hadnt. thats it#so yonow im thinking maybe. u didnt tell me. which wouldnt blther me so much if she didnt just say actually i did but ur schizophrenia#made u forget wow ur so insano haha#ugh. she sucks. literally dont even wanna built legos with her even tho the set is cool as fuck bc being around her sucks#wow sorry for my many many many tags complaining about my sister. living with her is awful :/
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I love ur writing 💕 can I request something where reader is dense sortof/has low self esteem, so she likes hotch, admires him and would love to date him but can't imagine he would view her that way,, so he has to be really obvious with his advances? Not self indulgent at all 👉👈 no worries if not. Love u!
Hotch has to break the news that he’s been pursuing you. fem, 2k
Hotch would like to call you unassuming in the kindest way possible. Unassuming, in that not everyone who looks at you would find themselves immediately aware of your beauty (an old-fashioned way to put it, and true), because your poor self esteem leaves you shy.
You don't believe anyone would want you. It doesn’t matter to Hotch beyond a weary heartbreak for you, as he doesn’t mind if it takes time to convince you. He only wishes you’d have more confidence. You’re pretty and you deserve to know it.
“Hello,” he says, with intent to try again.
You like him. He’s a grown man and a good judge of character, better of action, and he’d like to think that your sudden grimace whenever he speaks is again this cloud of insecurity rather than a true dislike for him. You have to warm up to him every day, but you do warm.
“Hi, Hotch.”
And listen, he’s not one to flirt at work, but if he ever wants a real shot with you, he has to be heavy-handed. “Hi,” he repeats, smiling, “how are things today?”
You’re assistant office administrator for the BAU, and so Hotch isn’t technically your boss, but you do work beneath him. “Things are the same as always.”
“Not too hard for you, then.”
You catch his teasing, which is a new development. “Not too hard for me,” you say.
He doesn’t pretend he has reason to hang around. He thinks it might’ve contributed to you not believing he’s interested; he’d drop by with coffee because you seemed tired, or checked in on issues that didn’t need his supervision, and you’d taken every extra minute spent at your door as his attentiveness to his job, rather than an affection for you.
He stands with his hand on the doorway and just looks at you.
“What’s wrong?” you ask.
“You look beautiful today.”
You touch the button at your neck. “It’s too much for work.”
“No.” You’re wearing normal business casual clothing. You’ve pulled a necklace over your sweater, soft collar of a shirt kissing your throat. He imagines you’re wearing regular pants and flats or maybe a skirt and short heels beneath the desk, it doesn’t matter. “It’s not just what you’re wearing. You look pretty.”
You could catch flame if something sparked near you. Lost, your lips part, and eventually you squeeze out a timid, “Thank you, Hotch.”
“Aaron.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Can we get coffee?” He dislikes the panic in your eyes and regrets how casual he sounded. “Can I get you a coffee?”
“I’m okay.”
“Well, maybe we can take lunch together?”
“Have I done something?”
“Have you?” he asks.
He feels… young. Haley was the only woman he’d been with at a time, and casually there have been others now, but you’re the first woman he’s attempted to woo like this. He sometimes forgets that you’re shy and that he’s been married, distracted by his fizzing, almost joyful feelings for you. Flirting with you is a pleasure.
You lick your lips quickly. “Where did you want to go? For lunch?”
He was thinking you could bring your sandwich to his desk, but what you’re asking is a thousand times better. “Where do you want to go? Melanie’s?” he suggests.
You breathe out in a strange laugh. “For lunch?”
No, perhaps not. It’s rather fancy. “Somewhere nice, at least,” he says.
“I don’t know where’s nice.”
“Well, we can find somewhere. I’ll try to find somewhere before one, what do you think?”
“Okay.”
He smiles. “Okay.”
He’s pulling away from the doorway when you stand up from your rolling chair and say his name, a near yelp, “Hotch! Wait, uh, wait a second.”
He immediately turns back. “What?” he asks, giving you a quick once over.
“Are you sure I’m not in trouble for something?” you ask. To your credit, you give a bashful little laugh. “I feel like I’m walking into a trap.”
“I have no intentions of trapping you anywhere.”
“Please don’t fire me at Melanie’s.”
He smiles at you again and leaves your alcove of the office to head back to his own. Around the desks and the bullpen where his team sit doing their paperwork, up the stairs to the landing. He pauses before he goes inside.
JJ’s standing behind Derek’s desk. They’re chatting, JJ sipping at a mug, a small smile on her lips. Spencer watches her from his own desk. He doesn’t like her anymore to Hotch’s knowledge, but it doesn’t stop him from smiling at her with that slight thread of lovelorn shyness when she asks him what he’s so busy doing.
Hotch has a moment of clarity at his desk when he realises he needs to find somewhere perfect to take you come lunch time. You hadn’t seemed convinced of your job security when he’d left you, and he spends some time pondering how best to accommodate you as he sorts thought Quantico’s best cafes and restaurants.
He has emails to answer, phone calls to take, and to make. Time moves quickly, and by 1:02 he’s all sorts of late. It’s almost 1:12PM when he’s again at your office door, a warm plastic bag against his side.
You’re looking at your lap. Coat in your hands, lip nibbled raw, there’s an internal conversation happening that he’s not privy to. He doubts he’d like it very much —the agony of self-doubt is written plainly in your slouch.
He knocks your door, feeling very sorry for your startled jump. “Hi. Sorry, I’m late, I know. But I thought I’d bring dinner to you.”
He thought of it like this: if he were to take you to dinner, you could explain it away as a professional superior who was going to fire you and changed his mind, or a superior checking in on his employee, or a superior simply being kind. He has, on occasion, taken different members of his team or office out to discuss things in their lunch hours because he was busy and needed their time at a convenient hour. You might not think anything of it.
Right now, Hotch really wants you to think something of it.
“What?” you ask.
“Is that okay with you, if we stay here?”
It’s a little much for you, apparently. You finally tip into incredulity. “Aaron, is everything alright? I really don’t understand what’s going on.”
“I’d like to eat lunch together.”
“But why?”
“Because you’re good company.” He’s sat knee to knee with serial killers, and his next sentence is still scary, “Because I like you, and I’m not sure how else to show it.”
You press your coat to your stomach, frowning. “You like me.”
“I was under the impression that you liked me too,” he says, smiling despite you and himself. Hotch might be a drill sergeant and a bully all those terrible moody stations as a boss, but he’s also just a man, and there’s little room for stoicism in love.
“But you…”
He waits, but then feels too sorry for you to let you flounder. “Honey, I don’t know how else to put it. I’ve tried compliments, I brought you that plant,” —he points to the still blooming orchid on your window— “I ask you what your plans are every weekend.” He looks swiftly behind him. Alone, he edges into your office to close the door and allow some privacy. “And every weekend I ask you if you want to get a drink. I’d think you didn’t like me if it weren’t for your tell.”
“What’s my tell?”
Your hand. Whenever he’s around, you take something into your hand and squeeze at it or feel it like you’re going to explode with nerves. He saves you the explanation, and instead lays his most gentle look on you. “If I’m wrong, please let me know. I’d never want to put you in an uncomfortable position, but you’re lovely.”
“You’re not making me uncomfortable,” you say, semi-disbelieving. “You never do. I'm just confused.”
“I’d really like to get to know you as more than a colleague.”
“You know me,” you mumble.
He does. He knows what your favourite colour is, your favourite food, your soccer team. He sent you flowers on your birthday, asks after your sick neighbour, and checks your office light every night when he goes home, though he knows what time you leave each evening. And he knows that you’re scared to admit to liking him or anyone, because you worry you’re not allowed.
“I do,” he agrees, giving the plastic bag a jostle. He doesn’t need big answers now. “Can I sit down?”
You might not have a big answer to give, but your expression tells a story nonetheless. You wheel your seat backward and he pulls a spare chair toward your desk, your smile like an adornment as you push aside your things to make room. You smile so hard it changes your entire face.
“Do you have napkins?” you ask, not so subtly breathless as he places the bag down and pushes the plastic back.
He pulls out a wedge of them. You pinch them, and for a second the both of you hold them, your eyes meeting, your cheeks appled with matching smiles.
“I thought the orchid was for secretary’s day,” you say quietly, taking the napkins.
“You aren’t a secretary,” he says, holding out a plastic fork.
When you go to grab it, he moves it up out of the way. Your startled laugh is beautiful. Totally stunning. He hadn’t realised how badly he’d wanted the quiet intimacy of teasing you over lunch until he had it.
You grab the fork before he can move it again. “Too slow,” you say.
“Oh, you think so?” he asks.
“I know so, Aaron. Who has the fork?”
Aaron, he thinks. Finally, Aaron. “You have the fork, but I have your lunch. I’d tread carefully if I were you.”
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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I need more baby daddy Jason. Maybe sitting at the park watching him with ur kids and hearing the other moms ogling over him
yall dangerously feeding my brain rot and it's giving me a baby fever i do not wish to feed !!!!!!!!!!! but whoever says baby daddy jason you have my heart rn bc i adore that man!!!!!!!!!!!
by the end of the week it was already time for your kids to go out and have a pretty day at the park, jason had been really busy lately so you took the stroller and placed your babygirl on it before calling your boy, living copy of jason when he was a kid and you couldn't want it any other way because both of your babies had those pretty emerald eyes you so adored.
the way to the park was easy, those two kids had a way to be pretty little angels when it came to go out to the park and you loved that because jason would usually catch up with you sometimes when the work was too much and today was one of those days. your little boy was six and your little girl four, which made it a bit hard to have him playing around and keeping an eye on your babygirl but as soon as jason joined you it was time for the girl to also leave your arms.
jason has been an amazing dad, always making sure his kids and girl were just fine, that they had everything they could ever need and want and it was easy to see in the way the little girl giggles loudly when he sweeps her out of your arms and walks to the playground while you sit, keeping an eye on your son and it's easy to hear the small group of moms muttering and giggling close to where you're sitting.
"do you think he's single? maybe divorced... he just came and picked up the girl from her arms" one of the women says and you roll your eyes because you know how damn well jason looks and how easy it is for him to trigger a baby fever in anyone but the small pang of possessiveness and jealousy that stirs in your chest is there.
"he didn't kissed her, i bet she is the kids' mom but they're not together... i should try and get his number," oh, over your damn dead body anyone would even dare to try and getting jason's number but you know better so you sit, looking at your family with a fond smile because now your two kids are held by jason.
you look at him and you can tell he's been working out more recently because he seems fitter, a little less of that dad body he had gotten since your second child was born and you loved how he looked, broad and muscly but there was a little tummy that only made you drool even more for the father of your kids.
you had to endure the comments and ogling from that group of moms for at least half an hour until you decided you had enough. walking over the place where jason was playing with the kids you stood close, looking at him with a smile when he lifted his head to glance at you and the glint on his eyes made you heart flutter, he picked up the kids on his arms and strode towards you with the widest smile ever amd without saying anything else he leaned in to press a tender kiss on your lips.
"hey there, ma," he whispered still close to your face "i missed you..." the words never fail to make your whole body shudder as you stand in front of the love of your life because that's what jason was, flaws and everything he was everything you could ever want.
"missed you too, jaybird... mind if we take the kids for ice cream?" you ask with a soft tone and it's easy for him to notice what's going on when you don't even pull away but stand even closer while looking up at him like a lovestruck teen again.
that's when jason gently places your girl in the stroller and wraps his free arm around your waist before he peppers a few kisses on your neck earning a chuckle from you and a soft 'yuck' from your boy's lips.
"daddy! stop kissing mommy! let's go for ice cream" and the childish protest makes jason smirk, knowing now he had yet to deal with a whole bunch of spoiled babies instead of just you but he wouldn't have it any other way and like that, with his arm still around your waist jason makes the way to get ice cream and you can satisfiedly feel the disappointment in the group of moms that were shamelessly planing to hit on jason.
#⭒ k2ntoss ⭒#⭒ mara's thoughts ⭒#⭒ 📬 ⭒#baby daddy jason OMG I CAN'T#jason todd imagine#jason todd blurb#jason todd headcanon#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#jason todd fluff#jason todd songfic#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd#red hood imagine#red hood headcanon#red hood fanfiction#red hood fic#red hood songfic#red hood fluff#red hood x fem!reader#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red hood x y/n#red hood#dc comics reader insert#dcu#dc comics
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