Can we see Shay with a baby bump? 😊👉🏼👈🏼
bini my beloved,,, i did not meant to keep this in my askbox for so long 😭
couldn't decide which pregnancy to go with since she has three kids, but i wouldn't turn down the practice since that's something i struggle with a bit. safe to say i got a lil too invested here tho... 🤧
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
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my husband: are you alright?
me, staring at my old dragon age timeline spreadsheet and thinking about long Solas and Mythal have been alive and how it's so fucking long it doesn't even fit on the screen: ....yeah
(the purple line at the bottom is roughly how long solas was in uthanera. we have no idea when he was born. so could predate the timeline entirely. The bright Green and Red are roughly when Mythal had to be killed/the Veil created)
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2- Two of Wands
(Planning, Decisions, Discovery)
My piece!! for @the-hermit-arcana :D!!! I had such a blast drawing this piece, though the colors and lighting were actively trying to kill me HSKFNEKWJ. Spot all the empires on the globe 💥💥 (This is also a reference to the original Raider Waite deck!)
And definitely check out the whole arcana HERE! This is SUCH A COOL PROJECT ISTG EVERY CARD IS SO PRETTYYY and the graphics of the booklet are phenomenal <3 go read my description for my card too ;3
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