#if they refuse to see and think clearly
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atinytwt is so stupid and toxic oh my god i just saw someone "shading" kq for jongho ???? like okay let me put down my points
a. we don't actually know how they decide to let or allow jongho to only receive injections and medication. jongho's condition was explained by an indonesian orthopedic surgeon who said that NORMALLY injection and medication COULD aid and alleviate the pain but considering jongho's occupation and activity (i.e. dancing), recurrence is expected and it needed a more permanent solution. also, jongho is a grown ass adult, let's not baby him too much (despite me wanna go goochie goochie goo and tuck him into bed with warm milk and cookies) and think that jongho is incapable of making a huge decision for his own health no matter the consequence
b. "kq put them in crazy schedules" it's literally the pitfalls of being idols my ghawd do you want them to not tour and expand their reach and just sit pretty with one comeback a year ??? sure, they could do that but they'll need money to get better production quality like you buying one album per comeback or one album per version is not enough to even cover the shoe budget, do you think those things are cheap ??? considering album sales are not pure as it's separated as distributor and company and from the company's cuts, it's further broken down and ateez will only get a sliver if any, they have to depend on miscelaneous schedules like radio, tv shows, joint concerts, festivals, etc. And no it's not unfair because there are calculations put in place and no matter what you do, the cuts will never be enough but at least from what we see, ateez is living rather well
c. compared to the big 4 (ion even wanna get into TS, cube, mld, mbk, etc. bc yuck) kq is a far better situation for ateez and xikers. like we haven't heard much from xikers, but we know that ateez praises kq. hongjoong even said that kq's ceo goes everywhere with them on tour (hj said this on the singapore concert) except for the show in manila bc he had a prior engagement. and dude, the gifts the ceo gave ateez and the fact that kq didn't put ateez on diets they don't want and how the staff interacts with ateez and ateez with the staff. idk, i've only been seeing green flags so far. ofc no one is perfect but again, compared to jyp who made momo eat only ice cubes to achieve her target weight so she can debut, or shoving all of seventeen in one tiny ass dorm that didn't seem like there were any blankets around during pre-debut, or putting the members on a leash and treating them like dogs like infinite, i actually love kq. I've liked kpop for over a decade now, since i was like in 5th grade and i've truly never seen a happier group than ateez.
is there a way to not read stupid ass posts on twt or x or wtv and just save pictures from there ??? really i have low tolerance in stupidity bc i have to deal with my own on a daily basis
#smt tmi#smt rant#istfg#some people need to shut up#if they refuse to see and think clearly#!?!?!?!?!?#FUCK#wtf kind of unicorn candyland are they thinking of#????#god like#it's still business#it's still a job#there are downsides#but upsides too#!!#and like#ateez is a grown as adult#frfr#they know what they're doing#BUT !!#it's kq's job to direct them and to provide what they need#par example#language lessons#dance workshops#office snacks#i can go on#like#bc FUCK#how#HOW CAN PPL NOT USE THEIR BRAIN AND COME UP WITH AN EDUCATED CONCLUSION
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Octavia sees Blitzø as her replacement in Stolas' life. Blitzø sees Octavia as an addition to his own.
#everything re: Via is so complicated right now because on one hand she's right to be upset at Stolas breaking his promise#but also she's just refusing to understand his point of view or even let him explain himself#unfortunately it's a trait that comes with her being still a teenager who's been likely sheltered her whole life#like from Stolas POV he had seconds to react to stop Blitz from being killed and clearly didn't think things through#(also this got me thinking if his pills might have a side effect since he only realized what he did after he started the withdrawal)#but from Via's POV she saw her dad willing to die for his fling after he specifically promised her not to leave her for him#do i think Via should have heard him out rather than cutting him off her life so fast? yes#do I also think she has a right to be upset after the most important person in her life made a choice that betrayed her trust? also yes#anyway let's see how this develop#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss blitzo#helluva boss octavia
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dumping more of my stancest feels here because i cannot NOT think of them. i read journal 3 for the first time this week and its great because Ford acts like stanley's biggest hater which is pretty fking funny (if not absolutely infuriating at times because omfg stfu you smug prick)
but the moments like this get to me
Ford being blinded by his quest of grandeur, accolades and praise for world changing discoveries, so obsessed with greatness, being the first name people remember, and all the other things his npd-isms tells him he wants.
And then there's "reminds me of camping with my brother. i wonder what he's up to..."
i mentioned in my previous post that stan acts quite a lot like the anchor to ford's boat, keeping him grounded and most importantly, safe from both the bitter and the sweet kinds of evils. but he also represents something so much simpler to ford too: the simple desires he represses so much because its not "good enough" for someone special like him.
he resents stan so much because he represents a "block" against that percieved good enough success he wants, the obstacle that made it impossible to get in a fancy college, become the world renowed researcher, the one who wanted to destroy his journal's and lifes work (even though it was the better, safer option if Bill really WAS that dangerous, which he was) that could still make him famous. because if ford's not "praised and weird" then he's just "weird" and being "weird" was nothing but a pain his whole life that kept him rejected and isolated from the masses. and stan prevented him from that.
(btw "maybe he can prove himself to me" is nasty work my god ford is a douche lmao)
a lot of his projections of something greater comes through with how he treated dipper in the show (his whole spiel in damvtf) and fiddleford in journal 3 where he looks down on the happy life that fiddleford had with his wife and child and saying he was "wasting his talents" making computers. and like, we all know by the way he takes them on high stakes adventures they're not as prepared for compared to him (and end up causing more trouble than not by doing so), he's trying to fill a gaping hole left by someone else. we all know this obviously, we all know what we ship here, but what i came to appreciate the most about it is how much that gaping hole exists in the low stakes
everytime ford is thinking during the "down time" moments, his thoughts always drift back to his childhood, and one person who represents it.
childhood memories, making fun of stans favorite snack, scribbling out a design of the stan o war, whenever Ford lets his mind wander it expresses such an intense yearning for the past before he became obsessed with wanting something more. these are his most utmost and most unfiltered thoughts, which is why he scribles them away or and writes in code. and the fact that he directly says they are about NOT getting married, followed with "wondering what he's doing right now", painting the picture of what his most ideal idylic life is. wanting a return of something lost. wanting Stan back more than anything.
he finally accepts that his dream never really changed, just the same as stan's and so they saild off together for the rest of their days, in ford's own words (which ironically sounds like a marriage to me either way so tough shit ford)
#Stancest#because having ford be like “romance? pfff who needs ROMANCE and SETTLING DOWN when i could be a BIG SHOT”#then writing “wonder what my estranged brother who i refuse to talk to or contact in years and i totally hate rn is doing rn...”#is well#what can i say other than the implications is the implications (highly doubt its on purpose but lmao)#ford writing “(hopefully that hes not doing anything like settling down or anything after i just mentioned that for myself)”#is in the next page hashtag trust me guys#“i prefer the road less traveled anyway” oh my god we get it youre WEIRD omfggg riverdale jughead ass#with repressed incestious desire we get it#jokes and shipping aside i think this is one of the stan twins vs dipper/mabel parallels thats VERY very well done#mabel and stan as their counterparts theter to reality and gets them to stop filtering their fears and desires through other peoples desires#and have them see things clearly for their own#is pretty good
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Something I find fascinating about Wandee Goodday is that no one has kissed yet (I know Ye and Cher have kissed but...) Like not a full on make out session despite having an established couple in the show that they could be using to show us kisses. But we get no kiss sex scenes from Yak and Dee and soft, somewhat chaste scenes from Ye and Cher. We all know both couples are fucking. But the lack of kisses where normally the show would have one couple more active in that department tells me how important kissing is to this story.
Dee has stated that it's silly but he doesn't want to kiss unless he loves that person and is serious with them. But the entire show is respecting the no kiss rule which tells me that it's not silly. The entire show is respecting Dee's boundary here. And yes, Yak and Dee have come so close to kissing so many times, but they haven't. Dee has always pushed him away and Yak has always respected it when he does.
It makes me wonder what's going to happen once the main couple does eventually lock lips. Will that open the floodgates? Will the audience get to see both couples kissing then? Or will it continue to withhold that specific moment of intimacy. There's something the show is saying about the expected parts of intimacy being taken for granted and also deserving of privacy and that's up to the people in the relationship.
Kissing can be an act of love and desire, but what the show is saying is that it is not a requirement for those things. I can be completely talking out of my ass here, but something about this is really sitting with me. Not only do we get Plakao as ace representation, someone who wants a partner to cherish and be cherished without sexual expectations, but we also get the show reinforcing the ideas that love comes in all forms with so many different acts and different people are comfortable with different things. And all of that is okay. And all of those boundaries are worthy of being respected. Regardless of societies expectations for what it means to be in a relationship and be physical, whatever is right for you is right and isn't that just beautiful?
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#i've been thinking about this since last week#but then we got those scenes with ye and cher this week#which is a whole other discussion that i'm sure it will take me a whole other week to really process lol#but there's something about ye being tired and cher being insecure but obviously the love is still there#idk but i will be so entirely shocked if gmmtv tries to convince me that ye who is head over heels for cher#would even entertain the notion of cheating#when he's probably just stressed about his brother and his gym and their finances and that's affecting how physical he is#when he's clearly normally very touchy and cher likes that despite his protests#so when that stops and cher doesn't understand why i can see how that can cause some pause#but those two displayed good communication this episode despite cher following ye#cher was comfortable enough to tell ye he was upset and what he thought was going on#but if this show tries to convince me that they actually have issues because ye is cheating then i will simply refuse to believe it
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Yall still up with this “it didn’t make sense for Nico to start dating Will immediately” bullshit ijbol😭 just say you don’t want to see Nico healing and getting better!
#“they got together immediately’’ ohhh someone didn’t read their books#it took them months yall#and I agree Nico is traumatized mind you#I agree he has been through a lot#but there were VERY CLEARLY the bases for his healing in hoh and hoo5#it did NOT happen overnight it wasn’t something without a thought process#its just that YOU refuse to see it and acknowledge it because you don’t like it#Nico deserves to be happy and to heal and I’m tired of y’all complaining about every single shit thinking you know the character so well#NEWS FLASH! you don’t#Nico di Angelo#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo hoo toa#will solace#solangelo#percy jackson#nico pjo#pjo#nico di angelo hcs
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related but the lack of acknowledgement in fandom (specifically the type of fandom that is practiced on this website and similar communities) of how much interpretation of source material stems from individuals particular (psychosexual) preoccupations is like. understandable because its embarrassing to publicly admit that you're obsessed with X thing because you're a little bit of a freak about Y thing (trying to speak broadly here but maybe i'm just being vague) and i don't think people need to do that but it's also a little frustrating to me because i feel like it's more interesting to think about the things you enjoy while also analyzing why you enjoy them but there's this culture of like. projection is bad and wrong and if you let your own experiences and proclivities affect the way that you interpret fiction you're tainting somehow the pure and objective thing that is Canon. so everybody's always striving to achieve something that is impossible. like it's impossible not to interpret things through the lens of your own experiences and opinions and preoccupations. i'm not saying we should all be like posting about fictional characters with like footnotes about what specific fetishes inform our headcanons or whatever the fuck but it's just very clear to me when people just entirely avoid thinking about why they might interpret something a certain way and instead think they're doing some kind of Objective Analysis every time they say something about how a character would fuck
#like this obviously extends to things outside people talking about characters sex lives but its most obvious with that#like do you actually think he's a top or do you just want him to top you. lol#also to be clear i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that but the culture that refuses to acknowledge that sort of thing#clearly does believe there's something wrong with it. and i think that's lame!!!!#i'm also not saying i'm out here with the most true and correct opinions about these things it's just like#while you don't have to admit to the world that you project on characters. if you admit it to yourself and don't have shame about it#it's easier to feel like you have a leg to stand on when it comes to interpretation because you can see the places where your own experienc#etc influences your interpretation#if that makes sense#what coming off 3 days of academic symposium with jordan does to a mf
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the obvious double standard with which we as a society treat amab nonbinary people and trans women who don't fit the level of feminity that they're expected to is actually disgusting.
#I see it every day in the way my gm (and closest friend at work) is constantly misgendered without anyone apologizing#but everyone uses the correct pronouns for me and quickly corrects themselves if they mess up.#I see it in the way my nonbinary dad#couldn't be friends with women in our old homeschool group#without rumors being constantly spread that they were just trying to get in the women's pants.#I see it in the way my mom was disgusted and disturbed by discovering my dad's early forays into crossdressing#but is proud of me for being my authentic self.#I see it in the way my dad is still scared to wear a skirt despite frequently expressing a desire to#for fear of being seen as “an ugly man in a dress".#I see it in the way my theatre director is constantly called they or he despite clearly having she/her pronouns on her email.#I see it in the way my mom refuses to use the correct pronouns for my dad even though they are out to her#and constantly “forgets” my gm's pronouns even though I've used they/them for them for months.#deep down I know if I was born with a penis my mom would think of my transness much differently.#when “women” embrace masculinity they are seen as empowered at best and at worst as victims of the patriarchy.#confused little girls who don't know any better.#when “men” embrace feminity they are seen as predators. traps. manipulative freaks.#I see it every day. It's so deeply ingrained in our society it seems like there's no escaping it.
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i do wholeheartedly believe gifting animals to elderly patients because they're lonely is the exact same thing as giving a kid an animal because they're bored.
both situations come at great cost to the animal due to neglect, abuse. in the case of the elder they have the very likely chance of being left unattended for a significant time after the person dies and having that trauma. many animals are placed in shelters after their owner dies, and then are euthanized.
#my first dog ever was given to my grandmother because she was 'lonely'#she starved and dehydrated my dog to death when she was eight years old.#she died the day after my 10th birthday.#i have never once forgiven her for it since and i cut her out of my life immediately afterwards.#animals being treated like toys is so disgusting to me#especially when you can clearly see the animal is not being taken care of. we knew my dog was going to die for a full week and instead of#taking her back from my grandmother and saving her the woman who adopted me did nothing. refused to listen to my begging.#my dog died alone. on the floor. by the heater. where i always sat with her and cuddled with her.#my grandmother never called until my dog was freezing cold and fully stiff. again. by a heater. so it was HOURS.#she never cared enough to call. and when we((i)) went up to mourn what did she do?#sat stoically watching the fucking news like nothing had even happened.#again; placing the desires and entertainment of an old person and a child over an entire animals life is disgusting behavior.#unforgivable behavior.#inexcusable behavior.#rest in peace baylee. i still think of you all the time.
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If I was in charge of casting voice actors to Mouthwashing, I would play around with how the game make the player believe that Curly is the one who crashed the ship by casting an actor know for constantly playing villains as him, while Jimmy would be cast with an actor who constantly play heroes.
While I think this is interesting I think a point of the game is that Curly looks and acts like a guy who you couldn’t imagine doing what he did initially.
You get the glimpse of him in the past and while it does give some reasons why he might of done it, you can tell he still wouldn’t. Inversely, while we chalk Jimmy’s behavior and its deterioration on the stress of the situation we learn he’s always been kinda “unpleasant”. I think having like actors that portray that would make sense as it’s the whole joke and deconstruction of the “untwist”. We begin to mistrust Jimmy but we don’t have proof he crashed the ship until near the end.
If anything I think it’s stands more to cast Curly with a typical hero and Jimmy as just some guy. A big part of Jimmy’s character is that he’s supposed to be completely average and sorta plain in comparison to everyone but especially Curly. Despite what people want to say he is designed to look average; a 5/10 mediocre and that’s his biggest issue rather than being a complete failure. He’s just moving along another part of the formation. His job a bit overshadowed even as he’s not even the main pilot. Casting an actor who plays those Everyman common roles only to turn out the reason everything is so bad fits with the theme rather than the typical good guy playing bad role and vice versa.
I think having a typical hero actor for Curly is also very important for the reason he’s incapacitated. These actors are the biggest billed, a reason people go to see the movie so having him basically be cut out of the picture and it forced to follow some joe shmoe is pretty on par for the game. If anything casting Swansea as a typical villain makes more sense as the game winds him up to be more unstable or violent when it’s just not the case, the same with the idea of casting an actress that place ditzy roles for Anya only for us to see how competent she actually is. Not to drag it on but even Daisuke as an actor in mostly silly roles only to be tragic.
I think the casting should play with the idea these are the characters under the lens of a person who fundamentally does not understand them and sees their most annoying aspects to himself vs anything else. Curly is the typically hero to him, Anya some dumb nurse chick, Swansea an untrustworthy grouch and Daisuke some kid. It’s a nice subversion to have them played by those types but not fit the role at all.
#because I can only assume we also have Curly’s parts where we’d clearly see he’s not malicious at all#like the game never makes you try to distrust curly more so realize we put too much faith and trust#into Jimmy without thinking or giving excuses because we had no idea what he’d done until much later when it was too late#basically the viewers/players perception is supposed to have been the same as Curly’s regarding the pre crash events#but I think it breaks something by making Jimmy look heroic cause the point is he never is and that there are overt and subtle signs from#the beginning but it’s easy to overlook not because he doesn’t fit any of the bills but because he’s just under the radar#he’s average mundane normal enough and having a normalish guy turn out to be a monster#is so much more compelling because even then he is not like a hammy mastermind unrepentant villain#he’s a coward that refuses to acknowledge the consequences cause he can’t comprehend the guilt#so I think everyone should be played by the parts they portray as the story twists and untwists the roles already#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#ask#anon
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Constantly thinking about how WWX thinks about JC how he thinks JFM thought about YZY but mostly as how he denied and yet carelessly commented JFM thinks (disregards) about JC
It is so, so, so fucked up and one of the reasons why chengxian is so doomed by the narrative bc no matter what JC does or says, WWX already "knows" what is about. Bc JC is his shidi and WWX knows best. And still, pre masacre, pre core exchange, it could have work. It could have, because they love each other so much but JC lost his core. WWX thinks he chose his parents. He thinks Jc choose the dead bodies of his parents, a filial duty, over survival, over him. And he never forgave Jc for it.
Bc now is WWX turn to assume the consequences of his shidi actions, now it is his turn to bear the pain for him. And he does not do it with reluctance, he does not, he does it bc he loves Jc so so much, but still. Still. The hurt it caused it. The hell it send to him. The hopelessness.
And then to see his shidi thrive were he can’t no longer. To see him shine when he is but a shadow. To see him reach for the impossible time and time again as if it was not WWX who never gave up before, who rallied his shidi over his (small, imagined, greedy) woes. To see all that and know envy, envy he had denied his whole life and envy he will repress into resentment, into sth useful bc WWX is not like yzy or Jc he is not, he does not hurt the ones he lives with his jealousy and sense of inferiority. Bc how can he not envy, when one says his dad doesn’t love him but he still has a dad? When one says he is not enough for his sect when he has such a inheritance, such a clear path at life. And WWX never cared never ever ever, how could he? He loved his shidi best, in spite of all the bad things.
And somehow, Jc himself is a thing he has to be loved in spite of. And it’s heartbreaking.
#but WWX never will say any of that aloud or even think it clearly#this man has been running form negative emotion like he’s sprinting his whole life#also that would make him the bad guy and WWX has enough guilt to carry and not talk about already try#also I love Jc and it shows sorry#this is not to say he is a perfect shidi or anything the man is a mess#but all his doubts about WWX character have it reason. it’s proof#and maybe the proof was forged but it was there#he does not deal with a single emotion gracefully but he does deal with them. he lets them simmer for eternity#which is. not ignoring them.#bad but at least real. idk how to say it.#anyway it fucks me up how much agency WWX denies Jc and how much complexity he refuses to see#like. WWX would do the impossible to make Jc the person who hates him irrationally so that he is not the bad guy in the relationship#(which is more complex than good or bad guys but I digress)#I love when they reconcile but I also hate it. bc it is never acknowledged how much WWX daily shits on Jc as a person)#you can love a person you don’t like. it happens.#but the Jc in WWX head is not the real Jc and the sad thing is that WWX loves the real Jc not the inherited prejudice from jfm#but he can’t perceive him he refuses to he can’t bc then he has to deal with what he did to him.#he lied. he lied. he lied to Jc’s (and himself) so much he can’t no longer distinguish the truth of them and is so fucking sad#mxtx#chengxian#grandmaster of demonic cultivation
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#ok ramble time#classic this feels too intimate to share with anyone so everyone gets it#essentially last week there was a suicide on campus#he was not one of my students or in our department#I'm pretty removed from it#ans i really didn't think it affected me#but i guess it has#bc like i thought i was over#✨this✨#Like ok i have had active plans in the past#one of those this is how this is when this is where#just waiting for the final straw#but i clearly never did#and that plan would no longer work due to changes in circumstances and living arrangements etc#which is honestly probably for the best#bc i refuse to make a new one bc i know i do not want to go there#but im just TIRED and ANXIOUS#its not even the depression its the anxiety of living#i stay up until 3-4 in the morning bc i cant stand the idea of going to sleep#and i secretly hope each sleep will be my last#bc im not going to DO anything bc that would not be it#too many ppl care about me (unfortunately)#and then ive stopped eating (again)#and it's like idek if its bc i dont want to or bc i forget#its like i see myself self destructing but cant make myself stop#and I have not done anything physically stupid in quite a long time but ive started biting to stim#and i dont even know im doing it half the time it just helps#and skin picking. which none or this is the same as true s/h but it does scare me to a degree bc i dont mean to i just do it#anyway i don't expect anyone to read all of this i just had to get it out ot my head
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slams fists down on beautifully crafted oak desk
#uh started the rewatch Now .Earlier ;; THEY HURT ME SO FUCKING HBABBDNDFGPOGGr#I CRIED LIKE FOUR TIMES WHILE WATCGUB THE FUCKING PILOT#it just lays it all out so perfectly#the entire time morty was like protesting to rick and complaining but when jerry was kicking him out he defended him#I cant. theyre smiling because of eachother#god i looovoreergkt how much of the stuff rick says to morty is to impress him teach him or just scare him#like the way rick blows stuff out of proportion just cause he wants to see how morty will react hes . so obsessed with him#for tHE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE… MORTY HAS A FRIEND:&!:#and they’re so. they like speak fondly towards eachother rick is way more soft and earnest when talking to morty n morty is outwardly#impressed and fascinated with the things rick does from time to time and he trusts him#and all the emphasis on how rick sincerely only gave a shit about morty. whenever he talks to the rest of the family it’s either exaggerated#or blunt and if mortys there then hes all rick focuses on#and how it’s repeated rick Needs morty to help him . no one else not even someone more helpful and agreeable nope just morty#if it’s not morty rick doesn’t want it at all#and like even as early as the cold open for the pilot. you can see rick become impressed when morty suddenly becomes assertive once he-#actually hears the bomb and starts getting up and trying to kick rick off the drivers seat#big tough guy all of a suddenLIKE YOU CSN TELL HE DIDNT EXPRCT THAT AT ALL AND HES SURPRISED#ive been thinking a lot lately about how . one of ricks favourite qualities about morty imo is his sense of morality and refusal to just-#take stuff when it reaches a certain point. like he Loves that side of morty so much and doesn’t mind too much when it comes out because of-#something he did. yeah that part in the pilot cold open is like the first thing of that go back and look at how taken aback rick is#and i love how sheepish rick is around morty every now and then. like he so clearly tries to look cool to him and to know what he’s talking#about he needs to twist everything to be correct . all the time but also in front of morty specifically#crazyyyy crazy how he managed to find the one real morty#ohg. uitltogfo ouhkdfjrjp iuubbvv ? ledjndflfidnf#odiespeak
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decided that in my own personal canon, Santiago’s maker looked similar to Louis, simply because Ben Daniels stated that Santiago was very likely in love with his maker. and wouldn’t it be some kind of torture to fall in love with the man who murdered your first vampiric love? to then watch him fall in love with another, who bears an eerie resemblance to that first love? to be witness to something tender and affectionate blooming, every moment a memory of how none of those you’ve adored have ever wanted you back? it would be agony. it would be torture. god, you would just hate them to pieces, loathing even as you loved them. and you wouldn’t know peace - not until the whole pack of them learnt the horror of love, just as you have.
#I like to think that Santiago was courted by his maker. that it was a genuine interest#perhaps turned to be an immortal companion before his maker saw his mind and past and realised how dull he was#imagine being sold the beautiful dream of having an immortal companion who loves you and chose you out of everyone#to be the only they spend eternity with. forever in the arms of love#just for him to see you. truly see you as nobody ever has. and then instantly recoil#abandon you in disgust. he doesn’t care what you do. he doesn’t care where you go. he doesn’t care what you call yourself. francis.#santiago is a strange inverse of claudia#she is a grown woman struggling against her body - constantly being viewed as her past rather than who she truly is#but she is capable and knowing and refuses to pretend. she is Claudia the adult woman. she is Claudia the cage breaker. Claudia the killer.#while I think Santiago is still deep down Francis. lonely and needy and wanting someone to pick him. but nobody ever will#and so he covers himself up in lies and leather and performs on stage. and nobody thinks anyone is standing there but Santiago#I just LOVE torture. imagine how upsetting all of it would be#he’s still a foul cunt. but god the agony. Armand killing the man he loves. Armand falling in love with someone who looks so similar.#and Santiago can have none of them. will only be touched in anger. so make them angry. get them to touch him.#furious desire to hurt is a kind of desire. he’ll take what he can get. he’s going to get it.#he decides to become the new master of the coven when every part of him is clearly begging#please please please want me take me need me make me yours please don’t turn away don’t pick someone else#he’s so careless with the women because life’s not fair ladies! the powerful want you then they drop you after they’ve used you#if I’m a toy you’re all toys. if I’m used I’ll use up the lot of you.#exactly my favourite kind of guy. wants to be loved eternally would flinch if he received it because what even is this?#santiago iwtv#santiago#ldpdl#louis de pointe du lac#armand#armand iwtv#armand interview with the vampire#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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trying to gather my thoughts on unruhe. something about this exchange is so vital to me…about how scully maybe isn’t as natural a seeker as mulder. about how her work as a pathologist is focused on “how” rather than “why”…whereas mulder’s profiling is the inverse. a woman is dead and a man killed her and no amount of probing the inner workings of his psyche, his dreams, his nightmares will remedy that situation. discovering the why doesn’t bring about any deeper sense of justice or peace. because really, no why could ever really explain the mundane horror of a woman’s abduction and murder. if anything, it just more starkly reveals the ugly simplicity of the human capacity for cruelty.
but i also love how later, she leans on the why. she channels mulder and his profiler brain. schnauz even picks up on it (“great. now they got you talking like sigmund freud,” in reference to him calling mulder freud during his interrogation). she asks him why he does it. why her. why this. why did his sister kill herself. why did his father do what he did. part of it’s to keep schnauz talking but it’s also another example of how she reaches for him, even metaphorically, in moments of fear and difficulty.
i also love how this episode, with its themes of unrest and strife and trouble, focuses on scully. mulder is usually the more restless character, always searching and seeking and chasing and moving. but scully is just as, if not maybe even more so. her mother’s remaining daughter. her father’s disappointment. a catholic to her bones, even as she lapses. a woman in a man’s job. who imagines a life to be a husband and kids and big sunday dinners, but who can’t stop following the mad man in the basement. who always insists she’s fine, who locks it all away, who chafes and squirms and explodes in impulsive incendiary bursts. who is always always trying.
there are just some things we don’t or can’t look too deeply into. if god is real, or why the woman in front of us is dead. scully will dig and scrape for proof and explanations for many things, but some interrogations aren’t worth the effort, or the fear of what might be found. some things just are, and they’re too big to move or change or overcome. women die because men kill them. what the hell does it matter?
#the x files#does this say anything at all? you decide.#to me this is especially a specific moment that points out the difference is gender dynamic between mulder and scully#which is not to say that mulder fails to grasp the depth of vulnerability women particularly face - he often does#but there sometimes feels like there’s something a little more…academic? to his approach? as a profiler and an investigator#in the sense of like. seeking out reasons and building out the psyche of the perpetrator even once he’s caught#like there’s a woman lying dead on the road and her killers in custody so why are we talking about dreams and nightmares and psychic photos?#scully as a woman who has experienced gendered violence doesn’t need to go probing because this is how the world is#men kill women because they can.#there is something vital about living in a violent world as a woman that mulder cannot fully understand#idk if i’m articulating my thoughts on this clearly at all#like there’s so much here…the fact that it’s lobotomies…the loss of the mind and sense of self#and scully is or at least likes to think of herself as cerebral so that’s terrifying to contemplate#and then being confronted with how restless she is and refusing to look at it….#also i know at the end she says she sees the value in looking at why monsters do what they do in order to understand them#and ultimately stop them#but i think that still troubles her and#doesn’t come easily to her#IDK i’m just saying stuff ok bye
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85. "I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”
tgcf, pm or swd to ling wen
Thank you <33
....I think this should have been a more hurt/comfort prompt, but with only 100 words it just became hurt, I'm sorry ;w;
Pei Ming is back again today with new grumbles and demands. So much to be done, all at once, only by her. These days, Ling Wen can barely lift her head. She can barely hear her retort. “And?” There’s a rare edge in his voice. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.” Pei Ming knows how to fight. To take away the firewood she needs to stay warm. Day by day he’ll wear her down, getting more outrageous until she finally caves, willingly or forcefully. Ling Wen knows this. Really. But she hates to lose.
I love lw but i also do think she has trapped herself in a vicious cycle of self sabotage
#tgcf#pei ming#ling wen#fortune's drabbles#the vibe i was going for here is lw is sick and refuses to take care of herself#so pm is going to bully her into it because being nice wasn't working (he tried)#(probably swd will come in to be the sun to pm's north wind later)#i have a lot of thoughts about lw and her role in the heavenly bureaucracy xD#from the moment we meet her we clearly can see she's one of THE most important people in heaven#and the whole thing would fall apart without her#and the whole thing DOES fall apart without her later#and I think this is actually a very genuine shock to her (and only her)#i think LW genuinely doesn't know how invaluable she is because she only ever hears complaints#and i think she does live in the fear that if she shows any cracks someone will quickly rush to fill them in and she won't be needed anymor#(so maybe like jw she has some incentive to maintain a very specific atmosphere in the civil court)#(i like my lw with a dash of both complacency and self sabotage)
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like. Nina listens to Taylor, moderately keeps up with the front-facing aspects of her life, enjoys her quality, has her minor critiques, recognizes her place in the current culture, can set her down and do other things when she wants to, and most importantly knows who Taylor is through her art.
#you cannot engage with Taylor completely casually it doesn’t work#you won’t get to know her#you have to let her in. go on a sunset walk with your headphones in and open your heart to her and just HEAR her#and then once you know who she is you can go from there#but there absolutely is this level of refusing to get to know her#and I am truly (once again) not addressing people who have that door simply closed (my mom! my older sister!)#people whose opinions matter so much to me#but I am talking to the people who wrestle and want to love her but actually hate her and idk. I feel that it is something where—-#well it’s like people isn’t it. you have to get to know her without judgment#and without bias#you have to know her FROM her#(which does not involve Easter eggs OR celebrity headlines if you hate both of those things#and then if you don’t like her you do in fact have to leave without making that other people’s problem#especially Taylor’s!#I am thinking of this girlboss journalist who wrote a piece on Taylor the other day#that was LIVID with Taylor for sharing only positive reviews on her insta story#(as is not only Taylor’s right but literally normal behavior??????????)#and was practically foaming at the mouth about how Taylor’s level of power was getting scary#and it’s like. I’m so sorry for swearing but BITCH#a lot of the numbers are out of Taylor’s control and also NOT REAL. Taylor also DESERVES her success and is simply doing her job very well#and riding the waves of virality she knows how to create in ADDITION to that#also stop worshipping power and money!!!! the way you clearly do!!!!!!!#Taylor is not doing anything with it except her job!!!!!!!!!!!!!#she is also CLEARLY a human being who suffers#SEE HER AS SUCH#and end it THERE#INSANE#turning off reblogs for this one#because I have gotten carried away but wow
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