#and then being confronted with how restless she is and refusing to look at it….

[gracemarkss]

trying to gather my thoughts on unruhe. something about this exchange is so vital to me…about how scully maybe isn’t as natural a seeker as mulder. about how her work as a pathologist is focused on “how” rather than “why”…whereas mulder’s profiling is the inverse. a woman is dead and a man killed her and no amount of probing the inner workings of his psyche, his dreams, his nightmares will remedy that situation. discovering the why doesn’t bring about any deeper sense of justice or peace. because really, no why could ever really explain the mundane horror of a woman’s abduction and murder. if anything, it just more starkly reveals the ugly simplicity of the human capacity for cruelty.

but i also love how later, she leans on the why. she channels mulder and his profiler brain. schnauz even picks up on it (“great. now they got you talking like sigmund freud,” in reference to him calling mulder freud during his interrogation). she asks him why he does it. why her. why this. why did his sister kill herself. why did his father do what he did. part of it’s to keep schnauz talking but it’s also another example of how she reaches for him, even metaphorically, in moments of fear and difficulty.

i also love how this episode, with its themes of unrest and strife and trouble, focuses on scully. mulder is usually the more restless character, always searching and seeking and chasing and moving. but scully is just as, if not maybe even more so. her mother’s remaining daughter. her father’s disappointment. a catholic to her bones, even as she lapses. a woman in a man’s job. who imagines a life to be a husband and kids and big sunday dinners, but who can’t stop following the mad man in the basement. who always insists she’s fine, who locks it all away, who chafes and squirms and explodes in impulsive incendiary bursts. who is always always trying.

there are just some things we don’t or can’t look too deeply into. if god is real, or why the woman in front of us is dead. scully will dig and scrape for proof and explanations for many things, but some interrogations aren’t worth the effort, or the fear of what might be found. some things just are, and they’re too big to move or change or overcome. women die because men kill them. what the hell does it matter?

[specialagentlokitty]

Aizawa x reader - just a little sleep

Hi! Could you do a fic where the reader has insomnia so she goes days without sleep and tries to hide it from Aizawa but eventually he starts to notice and puts a plan together to help her? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it 💜 - Anon💜

As a man who either didn’t sleep, or slept way too much, Aizawa was no stranger to the effects that came with lack of sleep.

So, when he noticed you started showing traits of extreme exhaustion, he immediately knew you hadn’t been sleeping and that you had been trying to hide it from him.

He had tried to confront you on it multiple times, but each and every time you would either refuse to answer, walk away or deny his claims.

He stood against the doorway of your office, looking at your sluggish movements and the tired look in your eyes.

“Are we ever going to talk about this?” He asked.

“There’s nothing to talk about…”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before lowering his hand to look at you again.

“Yes, there is. I can see you shaking from here, you’re barely able to stand in your own two feet, and you’ve been staring at the paper for nearly five minutes.”

You frown a little, setting the paper down as you sit at your desk.

“Just checking it.”

“And that takes five minutes?”

You offer Aizawa a small shrug, which makes him sigh again, a little bit more frustrated this time.

“I know you haven’t been sleeping (Y/N), I just want to know when the last time you slept was.”

You glance to him but don’t say anything as you turn back to your work, and after a few minutes of waiting in the doorway he sighs again.

“I can’t help if you don’t give me anything to work with here…”

“I don’t need help, I’m fine.”

Aizawa walks further in, closing the office door behind him before making his way to stand in front of your desk, arms crossed and a blank look on his face.

“You’re not fine, so stop bullshitting me and tell me the truth. Why aren’t you sleeping? Can you not settle? Nightmares? Restless? Caffeine?”

Again, you stay quiet and he groans a little bit.

He knew you were stubborn of course, on the best of days you could be more stubborn than him, and apparently that was no different no matter how tired you were.

“Is there anything that helps? Medication? Music? Do you need the room to be warmer? Colder?”

Again he’s met with silence.

“I just need to know what I can do to help you, stop being so stubborn and give me something to work with.”

He watched you carefully waiting for a response, and he took note of the way your hands trembled, up close he could see the dark circles around your eyes, how exhausted and slightly pale you looked.

When he realised you were going to talk, he simply just swapped your coffee up out with a bottle of water from the opposite end of your desk and left.

He spent most of the day thinking about how he could help you, and doing some research, compiling a mental list of everything he found.

He knew you liked music, and most of the time you slept usually there was music in the background, so he went through his laptop to find whatever music you had downloaded on it.

When he got home, he set to work making sure to get everything ready for when you got home so you’d be able to hopefully sleep.

When you finally got home, he was standing in the hallway waiting.

“Go eat, foods just finished.” He said, holding his hand out.

With a small hum, you hand him your jacket and bag, taking your shoes off before padding to the table.

Aizawa hung your jacket up, and hid your bag so you wouldn’t be tempted to go and do work after dinner.

While you were eating you could hear the faint sound of water running, and assumed it was him taking a shower so when you finished eating, you set your plate in the sink and went to the bedroom to get changed.

“(Y/N)? Come here!” Aizawa called out.

“Okay?”

You pad towards the bathroom and knock on the door before opening it to see Aizawa standing next to the bath which was full of hot water and bubbles, a few of your favourite scented candles scattered about.

Aizawa walks over, gesturing for you to go ahead.

“If you need anything just shout.”

He gives your hand a small squeeze before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

While you enjoyed a relaxing bath, he carried on with everything else he had planned.

He changed the bedding into the ungodly fluffy bedsheets you seemed to like so much, he sprayed his aftershave on your pillow like he did every night just in case he had to leave, and he changed into some sweatpants and a long sleeved black shirt.

Aizawa made sure to have a cup of tea waiting on the night stand, and your favourite show waiting on the Tv, as well your favourite playlist playing in the background.

Truth be told it was all a bit too much for him, there was too many things going on for him to be able to fully relax, but they were all your favourite things so he didn’t mind, he simply just sat down on the bed, stroking the cat while he waited for you.

Thankfully you weren’t much longer, eventually you came out wearing your pyjamas, and pad over your to the bed, laying yourself next to him with your head on his shoulder.

Aizawa could already see some of the tension had eased away from you, and he handed you the Tv remote so you could play the show.

While you quietly watched it, he ran his fingers through your hair.

“How’re you feeling…?” He asked quietly.

“Tired….”

He gave a small hum.

“Just relax… okay…? I’m right here with you…” he whispers.

Aizawa continues to run his fingers through your hair, gently messaging your scalp the way you would for him whenever he was stressed.

Every so often he would glance down at you, and he could see you fighting the urge to go to sleep, but he didn’t say anything, he didn’t want to disturb your peace.

Eventually he could feel you relax fully, your breathing evening out as you fell asleep, and he smiled ever so slightly to himself.

He pulled the covers up to your shoulder, and rested his head against the headboard.

His body was going to ache like anything tomorrow and he knew that, but he didn’t want to move and risk waking you up, so he’d sleep in the half laid down position he was just so that you could hopefully sleep all night

[gamergirl-06]

Bruno headcanons

I had these headcanon’s in my mind also G/N

How you first met:

-Bruno was doing one of his runs for looting supplies for the survivors back at Emma’s when he heard a call for help.

-Immediately rushed out of the store and seen you getting swarmed by a bunch of those Z’s and so he jumped into action taking down each of them, dodging and weaving hits they threw at him.

-Once he had killed all of them he asked if your were ok and you said yes.

-To be honest, Bruno was taken by you, you were absolutely beautiful/handsome/good looking.

-He introduced himself “I’m Bruno, what’s your name hottie?”.

-you started blushing like crazy but introduced yourself back to him “I’m Y/N”.

-From that point onwards you two became best friends.

When he realised his feelings:

-You had known each other for a little while at this point

-Bruno was actually trying to convince himself that it was just an admiration for you and not a full blown crush.

- He didn’t ever see himself be with someone, he actually told you when he first met you that’s why he stopped answering his Abuela’s calls as she pestered him to find love (and also fix his hair).

-He would tell himself “No, you don’t like her like that…it’s just admiration…”

-When he finally did realise it was an actual crush he kinda..changed around you.

-you noticed the change in his demeanour when you two went out for information in Beverley Hills when you guys passed some Z’s minding their own business, he suddenly pulled you into him and never let go.

-This never happened up until that point so you were a bit confused as to why but you enjoyed it because you actually liked him as well.

-It also did continue to happen but as much as you enjoyed being in close contact with him, you confronted him later on back at Emma’s.

-He refused to answer why he does it, which kinda made you frustrated.

-It turned into a bit of a fight, you asking him what’s wrong and him refusing to give an actual answer.

-you tell him whatever, and leave him in your shared room.

- You tell the others you’re going out for supplies to stock up since you hadn’t needed supplies for at least a few weeks.

-Sam asks to come with you, and you agree, you’re gonna need the help when shit possibly goes south.

He says “I Love You” for the first time:

- A While after you and Sam left to go for supplies, Bruno came downstairs in order to apologize to you.

-When he doesn’t see you, he asks Emma where you are.

-When Emma tells him you and Sam went out for supplies, he panicked.

-A long string of curse words followed soon after with Spanish.

- “Fuck fuck shit FUCKKKK, Soy Una Idiota (I’m such an idiot)”.

-Everyone jumped when the front door slammed open with sam carrying you in his arms, bloody and a bit beaten up.

-The horrified look on Bruno’s could not amount to the pain and guilt he felt.

- He was angry now “What…happened!”

-Sam explained that when you guys were on the way back a crusher crossed your path and as it almost died it knocked you to the ground and you hit your head.

-Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he watched Sam carry you to you guy’s room and seek medical attention.

-He followed Sam and held your hand as someone treated you and told him you could wake up anytime.

-With tears that stained his cheeks from sobbing he managed a weak smile.

-“I’m so sorry that I was such a dick, I-i just…goddammit I love you so much..I said it…te amo (I love you).

-you stirred slightly but didn’t open your eyes.

-Bruno thought you might have just been restless in your sleep so he got up and left you to sleep more.

-Little did he know, you heard him and you smiled a little “I love you too Bru”

First Kiss:

-A few days after that exchange, you guys were up on the roof of the Jaunt mansion in the late afternoon, watching the beautiful sunset together.

-You turn to him “Hey Bru?

-He turns to you and nods “hmm”.

-Your heart started beating faster, you took a breath before saying it “is it true”.

-He stopped for a sec before answering “What?”.

-“That you love me”.

-He froze…you heard him.

-You suddenly look away, feeling embarrassed that you even bought it up.

-“It is actually” came the reply.

-You didn’t even have time to stop yourself from saying it “I love you too”.

-your face goes red and you go to scramble up from your spot but instantly pulled back down and a finger hooks itself under your chin.

-Bruno looks into your eyes before slowly the gap capturing your lips in his.

-You two spend the rest of the evening cuddled up

-It’s you Two against the world

[brizadeiro-doce]

🍷 — Arlecchino x Reader

♧ Gender less/Gender neutral Reader. Chapter I. Click here to read on AO3.

DISCLAIMER:

— This is only the first chapter. If it gets positive feedback, I will make more chapters.

— English js not my first language, so this was originally written in Portuguese. Please contact me if you find any translation issues.

— If you liked, pls rb and give me some kudos on AO3. 🔥🔥

You lived in a city in Teyvat, living a peaceful and ordinary life, however, for some time now you kept seeing a strange woman wherever you went. And if you stop and think about it, the first time she appeared in front of you she was distant, with an expression as cold as ice. She stood out from the crowd and that made you notice her. "I've never seen her here before, did she come for work?" You couldn't deny that she was quite beautiful, of course.

First, it all started with your distant admiration, that tall woman with snow-white hair, so serious and sober-looking. Something about her was so magnetic to you. Well, as the days went by — when you passed by her — she began to return your gazes. As if she had finally acknowledged your existence before hers. This sudden exchange of glances made you feel ashamed, "How awkward..", you blamed yourself thinking that you might have made the girl feel uncomfortable. When you finally passed by her, she would open a small smile after you got frustrated in front of her.

One morning, you bought some fruit from a merchant who was already used to seeing you there. It was a fair where colorful tents held tables full of various products, and very cunning merchants with extravagant prices would be waiting behind them. You prepared to pay for the fruit, putting your hand on a bag of morax that you carried with you, until you felt a hand on your shoulder — something that made you goosebumps.

— Don't worry, I'll pay for it — a gentle and clamorous female voice came from behind you. Turning slowly you confront the stranger, looking into her eyes you soon realize that it was the mysterious woman.

The merchant seemed as surprised as you were, facing the presence of the illustrious lady dressed as someone of high rank, at a fair of peasants. He looked at you in shock, who was still calculating how to respond.

— Miss! I appreciate your hospitality, but... — You tried to articulate the words, but they all sounded wrong and your voice was shaky. The woman finally gave a small smile.

— Please accept my gift — She says, still with her hand on his shoulder — I won't charge you for this later, don't worry.

At this point, it would be rude to refuse something from such a refined woman. You accept the gift and she finally pays for the fruit, smiling, as if this brings her a sense of satisfaction. After paying, you thank her — somewhat awkwardly, of course — and then prepare to leave. She waves to you, and soon disappears into the crowd. After this event, she began to appear more and more often. Yes... that's where it all began.

Another morning you were feeding the ducks in a lake that bordered the city, throwing bread crumbs into the water while the white-feathered birds rushed to eat them, quacking and sometimes fighting among themselves. You were alone, feeling calm and laughing at the ducks' reaction as they both crashed into each other in the water while fighting over bread crumbs. When suddenly, you felt a strange sensation... Wait, are you being watched?!

All this restlessness, could it be thieves? People with bad intentions? Or... even hillichurls!? Damn it, you turn around very carefully, preparing yourself, but... Hey, it's just that woman again. This makes you lower your guard and smile, waving at her. The woman responds with a small smile, and approaches you.

— Good morning... what are you doing here alone? — The fennec-looking woman stands beside him, watching the movement of the lake.

— Feeding the ducks! I do that sometimes.. — You say in an embarrassed way, isn't she too close?? — By the way, thank you again for that day...

— It was nothing, I swear! In fact, I found you to be quite interesting... My name is Arlecchino, I'm well known in the city, but I assure you that my reputation is good — She smiles broadly and extends her hand to you, when you shake it you can notice that she has a firm grip, as if she would never let go. She turns your hand gently and kisses it, before finally letting go. — You live in that city, right? I always see you there.

— I'm (Name). I've lived here since I was little. But, Miss Arlecchino, you're not from here, right? I can tell you have a foreign aura.

— Oh, yes, I am a foreigner. — you pause — I come here for business, my job is complicated, you know? Anyway, do you like living here?

— Well, I never leave here, haha.. — you laugh awkwardly — ..then I suppose so. — I can't imagine a life being stuck in one place all the time, don't you have any desire to see what's beyond these walls?

— But I know what's beyond the walls — you throw more crumbs into the lake — There's this lake, and the forest, but I'm not attracted to those dense woods. I can hear the wolves howling from here.

— There are very interesting places, you know? I remember going to Fontaine, it's a fascinating city.

— Really? Haha, you could take me there any day then.. — You throw your last handful of crumbs to the ducks. Meanwhile Arlecchino remains silent.

— And would you really go? If I invited you, would you come with me? — Arlecchino said raising her tone in her last question. As if your words had awakened something in her.

— Well, I have a job at the tavern... speaking of which, I don't have tomorrow off, but I think it would be interesting — you say with an embarrassed smile.

— Quit.

— What? Excuse me?

— Quit, your job. You can spend a week with me in the city and I'll pay for everything, I swear everything will go well. There you can find a better job, don't worry.

— Miss Arlecchino...that would be wonderful, but I don't think it will be necessary — you say with an uncomfortable expression — Besides, I'm fine here.

— I...I'll come visit you at the tavern tomorrow. But please think about it, life is too short to refuse an offer like that, and besides, I'm going to give you a long deadline, okay? Good afternoon. — She turns to leave, until you take her hand.

— No! Wait... I swear I'll think about it, it's just...it's something very difficult to answer right away. I promise I'll think about it better, thank you, Miss Arlechinno.

The woman smiles, with a sweet smile she lets go of your hand and strokes your head.

— No problem, just don't overwhelm yourself too much, okay?

After that she disappeared. You were alone again, like before, but now you felt an emptiness left by the absence of the presence of that woman who wasn't there before. Oh, my, now you found yourself with a dilemma that needed to be resolved, were you really attached to that little town? Gosh, but it had never crossed your mind to leave there, and now you had been put against the wall by that woman. Oh, that woman. Arlechinno... what a name. You repeated it in your mind as if you were savoring the word. Ar-le-cchi-no.

Sitting down on the grass, you looked at the horizon, seeing that not even the ducks were in the same place as before. Everyone moves, except you. You stay where you are. And that... and that starts to bother you. In fact, she touched a wound that you hadn't even realized was open. Lying down, you look at the sky, blue like... like the sea? A sea that you've never seen. Yeah, I think the time has really come.

The next night, you found yourself cleaning the bar of the tavern. Always looking at the door, every time you heard the bell that was connected to the door, you looked quickly, your body trembling, always expecting that woman to come through that door. Little by little, this was embarrassing you, she probably hadn't even remembered it... and you went back to your daily chores. Those drunks disgusted you, always taking their time to pay for what they drank and sometimes even wanting to flirt with you. Anyway, it was a job that could support the simple lifestyle you had.

You felt a little sad that particular night, why didn't Arlecchino come to see you? She promised, right? It's a little confusing, the tightness in your heart that that woman can cause in you. Your eyes tear up a little, how embarrassing. The drunks sing along with the bard in the background. Suddenly the door opens with force. It was her. It was her!! She came. Came to see you.

— (Name)!! Shit, this city had more taverns than I thought. — She says walking, getting close to you, she sits on a bench in front of the bar — Forgive me, (Name), but... Did you even think about what I told you yesterday?

Your face was slightly red. The woman had indeed remembered you and that provoked in you a feeling that, well, was difficult to name. Whatever, you had indeed thought about the answer and, placing a glass on the bar, you say:

— Yes, I did think about it.

— So? — She said looking you in the eyes, as if her happiness depended on your answer

You took a breath to be able to answer, looking around you saw the drunks partying. How annoying.

— I accept.

You expected to see Arlecchino's face light up, but she only gave a satisfied smile.

— Well, when will we leave? I still have to talk to my boss before I resign — You said a little more shyly.

— Tomorrow morning. I've already sorted everything out, you don't have to worry.

Tomorrow morning? The decision seemed so abrupt, but at the same time, something inside you was excited by the idea. The unexpected, the adventure, the unknown. However, it was all wrapped up in a feeling of fear. Leaving everything behind, your routine, your job, your home... It was a choice you never imagined you would have to make so soon.

— Tomorrow... I understand. — You answer, feeling the weight of those words on your tongue.

Arlecchino leans a little closer to you, his eyes shining like ice in the tavern's candlelight.

— Don’t worry about the details, (Name). I’ll take care of everything. — Her voice was low, almost a whisper. — We’ll meet at dawn, outside the city. I’ve already got the carriage ready.

You nodded, your heart beating faster at the thought of leaving, of finally exploring the world beyond the walls of that city. Still, there was something mysterious about Arlecchino that you couldn’t quite figure out, like a puzzle with missing pieces. But maybe that was exactly what drew you here—the curiosity, the unknown.

When the night finally ended, and the tavern began to empty, you retired, locked everything up as Mr. Diluc had taught you, and finally went to the little house you were renting. You went to your small room upstairs and fell into bed. Your thoughts were confused. Why was she so interested in you, someone so ordinary compared to her?

With these thoughts dominating your mind, you finally fell asleep, the image of the snow-white-haired woman haunting your dreams, as dawn approached, bringing with it the beginning of a new and uncertain journey. You were afraid.

The next morning, you woke up before the sun rise. Your body seemed to act on its own, as if it knew that this was a different morning, the beginning of something that would change your life. You dressed quickly, taking only the essentials, but the essentials of the few that you retained, and went down to the door of the house, still closed at that hour. The air was cold and damp, a light fog hung over the city. As you walked through the almost deserted streets, with the guards at their posts and the cats on the rooftops as the only beings in that scene. Silence weighed on the environment, except for the sound of your own footsteps echoing through the cobblestones. It was as if the city was sleeping deeply, everyone tired. You missed your soft bed.

As you approached the meeting point outside the city walls, you spotted Arlecchino’s carriage. It was large and black, adorned with silver trim that gleamed in the dim light of dawn. Beside it, there she stood, imposing as ever, awaiting your arrival. Her white hair stood out against the darkness of the morning, and her eyes seemed to shine with anticipation when she finally noticed your presence.

— (Name), I’m glad you came. — Arlecchino smiled, as the coachman opened the carriage door for you. — Are you ready?

You hesitated for a brief moment, looking back at the walls of the city that had been your home all your life. Now, however, it seemed so far away, so small compared to what Arlecchino offered. The world beyond those walls called to you, and for the first time, you felt truly tempted to answer it.

— I'm ready. — His answer was firm, despite the butterflies in your stomach that were constantly bothering you. How annoying.

Arlecchino nodded in satisfaction. You climbed into the carriage, feeling like a prisoner who had finally had a chance to escape. Arlecchino sat down beside you, and with a firm order to the driver, the carriage began to move. You felt a slight tremor beneath your feet as it picked up speed.

For a while, neither of you said a word. The sound of the carriage wheels on the uneven ground and the trotting of the horses were the only soundtrack as you left the city behind. You stared out the window, watching the landscape slowly change—the plains, the trees, and finally, the unknown horizon you longed to explore.

— I know it’s hard to leave your life behind, (Name). — Arlecchino’s voice broke the silence. — But trust me, the world is much bigger than this city. What awaits us beyond it is something you could never imagine.

You turned your face to her, curious at the conviction in her voice. Arlecchino had something planned, something that seemed bigger than anything you could comprehend at that moment.

— What exactly do you do, Arlecchino? — You finally asked, curiosity growing inside you. — Who are you?

— Oh yes, so you do have that kind of curiosity after all. I thought you'd never ask. — She gives a smile that sends shivers down your spine.

She smiled enigmatically, that same smile that had drawn you in since the first time you’d seen it. Arlecchino leaned forward slightly, her eyes shining with an almost predatory intensity. The smile was still there, but something about it seemed sharper.

— I do what is necessary, (Name) — she said in a soft tone — The world is full of chaos, of uncertainty. And me? I put things in place. In my own way, of course.

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her words. Something in the back of your mind told you that she wasn’t just talking about solving simple or ordinary problems. There was a depth and darkness to what Arlecchino did—something that transcended what you understood as “normal.”

— Put things in place? — You repeated, trying to get more information, but cautiously.

She laughed, a low, mysterious sound, and leaned back in the carriage seat, her fingers drumming lightly on the armrest.

— The balance of the world depends on difficult decisions, on sacrifices that most are unwilling to make. I am the one who acts when others hesitate. I do what needs to be done, and the consequences… well, they are none of my business.

The carriage passed through a dense area of trees, the shadows of the canopies creating a somber atmosphere around it. The silence intensified, and the air seemed to grow heavy inside the carriage. You noticed that Arlecchino was watching you closely, as if he was gauging your reaction.

— Who am I? — She repeated the question, as if savoring every word. — I am the invisible hand that manipulates fate, (Name). But to you, I am the key to a future you never imagined. .

She leaned closer, her eyes locked on his, and her voice dropped to a whisper.

— The only question you need to ask yourself now is: are you willing to pay the price for the power you desire?

The world seemed to close in around you. Arlecchino was offering something dangerous, yet incredibly tempting. The weight of decision was about to fall on your shoulders—and in that moment, you realized that the path ahead would not only be about adventures, but about choices that could define not only your destiny, but that of many others.

— But why me? Why did you offer me this? — You said, now you wondered if you had really made the right choice.

Arlecchino kept his gaze fixed on you, and for the first time, the intensity in his eyes seemed to soften, but only slightly. She shifted in her seat, her fingers clasped calmly in her lap, as if she was considering her next words carefully.

— Why you? — She repeated in an almost thoughtful tone. — Ah, (Name), don’t you realize? — She tilted her head slightly, the smile still present, but more mysterious than ever. — Fate has a funny way of choosing those who least expect it. And you... you have something inside you, something that interests me.

She paused, allowing her words to hang in the air. The tension in the carriage was increasing by the second.

— Don’t think I’m someone who makes random, purposeless offers — she continued, her voice now low and controlled. — I’ve watched you from afar for a long time now, and I know you’ve watched me back. Many have desires, (Name), but few have the courage to pursue them. And even fewer have the potential to shape the world around them.

She leaned in a little closer, and her presence seemed to fill the space between you, as if she were revealing a truth you hadn’t yet been able to see.

— I chose you because I saw in your eyes the same hunger I've seen in others before you. But unlike them, you still have a chance to do something great... or to fall into an abyss. It all depends on the choice you make now. What about me? I offer you the opportunity, but it's up to you to take advantage of what I put on the table for you.

Her gaze sharpened. The air around her seemed to vibrate with a dense energy, and the reality of the situation sank in. Arlecchino had ulterior motives, you knew that, but there was something about her—an unshakable confidence, a promise of power and change—that made the offer seem almost irresistible.

— So tell me, (Name), what will it be? Will you accept my invitation into the unknown, or will you rather continue on the path everyone else follows?

The carriage seemed frozen in time, each second dragging by as you pondered Arlecchino’s words. The silence that followed your question echoed louder than the sound of the wheels on the stone path. She watched patiently, her eyes calculating, as if she were waiting for a mouse to approach the trap. It was almost impossible to ignore the intensity of the situation—this woman, with a power and influence that clearly surpassed your comprehension, was offering you something beyond what you could understand at that moment.

— I’m not asking for your trust, (Name), — Arlecchino said, his voice soft, as if he was reading her thoughts. — Trust is something that is earned over time. What I’m offering is an opportunity. A single choice that can change everything.

Your breathing quickened. You felt a mixture of fear and excitement running down your spine. It was like you were standing on the edge of a cliff, staring into the abyss, with the option of jumping or retreating.

— What if I accept? — His voice came out hesitant, almost a whisper.

Her eyes lit up in a way you had never seen before, as if she had been waiting for that exact question.

— If you accept... — She began slowly, choosing her words with precision. — You will not be alone. I will be by your side, guiding you on paths few dare to tread. Paths of power, of influence... of freedom.

She leaned forward, her eyes locking with his, like a predator sure of her prey.

— But know that once the choice is made, there is no turning back. Accepting my invitation is to give up certainties and embrace chaos. But chaos, (Name), has its own order. And those who know how to dance to the rhythm of the music can achieve everything they desire.

The weight of his words hung in the air, and you realized that you were at a crossroads, one that could change the course of your life. Arlecchino’s offer was tempting, a promise of something beyond ordinary life. But with it came the unknown, the risk, and the shadows that lurked behind his smile.

Your thoughts were racing at a thousand miles an hour, as the distant sound of the carriage wheels finally filled the silence again. And then, you knew that the decision was in your hands.

— I accept.

Arlecchino’s smile widened at your words. For an instant, you felt as if you had released something much greater than you could comprehend, but at the same time, a strange sensation enveloped you.

— Excellent choice. — Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it was laced with dangerous satisfaction. — Now, (Name), you are about to discover that the world as you know it is just a thin layer over something much deeper. And I am going to make sure you see it all.

She reached out her hand, her black leather glove against your skin. As you touched it, you felt a chill run down your arm, she was cold.

— From now on, there will be no secrets between us. — She stepped closer, the tone of her voice becoming lower, almost intimate. — I will give you the tools, the vision, and the power you need. The rest, (Name), is up to you. — Arlecchino held her hand firmly, his eyes never leaving hers.

With that, she leaned back again, releasing his hand slowly, as if sealing an invisible agreement. The air in the carriage felt denser now, the air almost palpable with the promise of an uncertain but possible future.

You had made your choice. And somehow you knew there was no going back. You were on a tightrope.

The carriage rocked gently as the city unfolded around you, a blur of shadows and lights. Arlecchino watched out the window, his gaze lost, as if he saw something beyond what was before you. The silence between you became charged with meaning, and you couldn’t help but wonder what kind of journey you were about to embark on.

— Are you nervous? — Arlecchino asked, his eyes never leaving the landscape. Her voice was soft, but there was an underlying challenge in her words.

— A little — you admitted, sincerity slipping out before you could think twice — There’s no need to be nervous, I’m on your side.

You blushed. Your cheeks heated up, and you looked away for a moment, trying to hide the blush that was taking over your face. Arlecchino’s words sounded unexpectedly gentle, a subtle change in her usual enigmatic tone. You tried to maintain your composure, but your heart beat faster at her proximity.

She laughed softly, the sound warm yet laden with a slight teasing tone.

— Now, (Name), do you really think you’d be alone on this journey? — Arlecchino leaned in slightly, and his piercing eyes met hers. — I’m not the type to abandon an ally.

You felt the intensity of her gaze, and her words, while comforting, also carried a weight that you couldn't yet fully understand. Still, something about her presence made it seem like, no matter how complex the path ahead was, you wouldn't face it alone.

— I'm here — she said in a softer tone now, almost intimate. — From beginning to end.

The promise contained in those words echoed within you, and the feeling of nervousness slowly transformed into something different: a strange mix of confidence and anticipation.

— Thank you — you replied, still feeling the heat on your face, but now firmer.

[naffeclipse]

Surprise!!! >:D

I come here fashionably late to deliver the comment I owed with interest and all! And oh boy oh boy, get ready because this one might be the longest one yet! At least that’s what it’s looking like in my notes app at the moment kñjfdhgkj (Me: writes my thought not usually longer than a sentence long because each note has a not huge word limit. Also me: nearly reaches the limit and every sentence is basically a paragraph here fkjdhgkjh)

Anyways! Let’s start! :D

Ohhh man, that poor old man. What a scene to come back to! Considering the hunters seemed to have secured the area for the confrontation I can only imagine what must be going through his mind after his last interaction with them all! Meanwhile Sun and Moon are over here just like. “Great. Someone else that thinks we killed them all. :( ” 

But ahhh I just love how it’s a slow scene that builds the tension! Because we know what happened at the end of the last chapter so we experience the restlessness as the clock ticks by. And then, they get free, and things get going.

Oh it was so interesting when they found Vanessa. The fact that she was wearing their jacket! I can’t imagine Glitchtrap would be the one to put it on her after he took the white patched one, so it’s such a sad image thinking about her dragging herself towards the discarded green jacket like it’s the last thing she’ll get to keep of y/n after this D:

Also how they identified her! It makes me wonder how much they can know from a heart. It does get explained later but it immediately got me speculating about different levels of rulebreakers. So I imagine other people who might be considered guilty but not rulebreakers might be those that were in compliance with the harm, or those that were neglectful. It seems to Eclipse both are just as bad as any rulebreaker and deserve the same fate. Thank goodness for their vow!

Also gfkjhgfjh poor Vanessa, fr XD Just got freed from a heart eating demon and she can’t get a full rest before another heart eating demon is roughly shaking her awake. Though gotta give her credit! It’s sad, but also very badass of her that she’s just so done that she won’t show any fear to them. Just that she despises them. Also respect for her for refusing to sell y/n to the new demon. From her perspective she already feels guilty for one demon taking them and she wasn’t gonna make their troubles even worse, even if that might have meant this demon ended her right then. But also I love that that’s what makes them start to reel their anger in a little, because they know that, exactly like her, y/n also thought Eclipse would kill them. They realize all Vanessa sees right now is a demon after its quarry.

And aaaahh, Vanessa noticing the patches! She must have looked at the patch in her own jacket enough times to recognize y/n’s handiwork and all the implications for that. Even so exhausted, she’s very sharp still! But oof the dread in all of them when she admits what happened. Gosh the part where they clutch the hair clip with one blue hand and one red one! Ahhh that had me feeling so many things. It’s a small moment of despair and trying not to grief, snapping themselves to action instead of thinking the worst!

And then they go back to not giving Vanessa a single break sheesh XD Oh man, the dreaded acceptance in her face when they accuse her of not protecting the children. Punching right where it hurts the most. And like, she read the book. She knows what being considered guilty means when encountering a demon that follows the sacred rules. And it’s so sad to think that she might even consider that if they had killed she would have deserved it. Ooough my heart. But then they don’t and she just has to accept that they truly do care about finding y/n, they sound desperate in telling her that the hunter needed her to not give up on them, even if for Vanessa right now giving up might be the only way to find some rest after what she’s been through. And so Vanessa just has to go “this might as well just happen huh”. Not to mention the whiplash fdkjfhdgjkh This demon that just admitted to wanting to kill her suddenly referring to themselves as the cutesy nickname y/n assigned them just like “we’re their sweetie <3” is sure gotta be something from her perspective XD

But at least as they start to calm down and form a sketch of a plan for what to do they do truly start to notice how badly Vanessa had it with how often Glitchtrap used her. Even for someone they deem guilty the act of possession is simply horrific to them. But aaaah I love how they keep reminding themselves that Vanessa is y/n’s friend and they take their hunter as an example. They try to take care of her as they know y/n would aaaaa! 

Oh, Vanessa has the scar too! This definitely makes me think Glitchtrap likes to mark what he thinks it’s his. Seems like a signature since it was also done near a finger in Vanessa’s case. At least for his vessels.

And jfkhdkjhg the amused “What do they see in you?” comment XD Boys please. I guess it would be surprising to them because she’s much more snarky and hardened than y/n haha. But glad that as they really start paying attention to her they are reminded that there is more nuance where they only bothered to see black and white. They know the guilt when they sense it, but it might not always be due to evil or negligence. Sometimes it’s powerlessness. They really are learning, and it’s thanks to their time with y/n that they are forced to dig a little deeper into what they already thought they knew. It’s learning they do on their own right now, but yet another proof of how their heart has influenced them greatly! They get to see Vanessa does care! She always did! If not for the vow, they might actually just have killed her and not learned the truth, and also not gotten the information to save the hunter.

But of course, Vanessa is learning a bit herself! I’m sure that the boys willing to be present during an exorcism, knowing how dangerous it can be for them to trust her with it, just to be there for y/n is really something for her to think about. Not then though, she really needed that nap.

(sidenote: “They will get you back, even if they must rip the demonic cryptid out of you themselves” the foreshadowing though! I read the chapter again to write this comment and I was pointing at everything with a gasp once I realized XD)

Oh gosh then we get the possession POV oof! This demon really likes to multitask. Hunting while torturing y/n with the hunters’ deaths! And aahhh what a way to hurt them. Since their mind is basically his to rummage through it wouldn’t surprise if he chose the word “gift” specifically to drive the knife into the wound. Referring to it like the boys did to the cryptid hearts they consumed thanks to y/n. Maybe a way for Glitchtrap to tell them that any gifts will be now for him alone and that they don’t belong to Eclipse anymore.

And oh! Does this mean it was Vanessa who assigned him his name? Oooo that really goes with the parallels of each of the cryptid hunters and their experience with the prolonged stay of a demon near them! Interesting!

Also interesting that Vanessa investigated on her own! FEI really are idiots for having trapped him and not gotten rid of him. Maybe they really thought they got Bonnie and were insisting the deaths were someone else’s fault, or maybe they just wanted to keep him as a way to experiment on what they could force the demons to do. Either way, they really messed up. 

And aaah the boys console Vanessa! I think it helps that she let them know that the reason she got into this whole deal was precisely because she was trying to prevent more children’s deaths, even against her employer’s wishes. She did quite the opposite of what they believed at first. Everything in her power to do the right thing. And so they truly have the full picture now. They know why y/n loves Vanessa so much.

But oh, things start to pick up then! 

Immediately, the line “your wild hair is untucked” hits so good because it’s a clear reference to how they are missing the pin AAAAA (actually, I love the emphasis you put in the descriptions of their being loose and moving so much. The hair clip logically is such an inconsequential detail in this whole equation, but it means so much actually. It calls attention to the small hope they are clinging to, and also to the wrongness of it all. The very cause that the hunter is missing it in the first place)

Ooooo the “why did you come back”, Glitchtrap knows all of y/n’s insecurities, but also can estimate some of Eclipse’s through their memories. And the worse part is that it works, because even if they don’t show it, it’s a recent still painful moment.

And oh then we get that good juicy demon lore!! I loved reading through all the encounters they’ve had with him through the years! Glitchtrap causes trauma even to other demons kfjdhdkhs And omg the security puppet bit! Ahhhhh!!! That’s seriously one of the moments in the entire fnaf franchise that stayed with me for its impact and I was so excited when I saw you referred to it! If it hasn’t been asked, I’d love to know about how you chose all their true names! Does Glitchtrap have one too? (don’t worry if it has been asked though! I’ll be going through your blog to catch up anyways haha)

And oooh Vanessa coming up with the plan!!! Ruthless but effective. And aaaahh this part gave me so many feelings though! Because this must have meant so much for her! Finally, finally, she gets to save at least one child from Glitchtrap’s claws. After watching every kid die, likely right in front of her, wanting to do everything to save them. She got the chance to save one, and she succeeded. She might feel responsible for all the others, but it was thanks to her this one lived. It would have been so unlikely that Sun or Moon could have snatched the kid without Glitchtrap hurting them or killing them. Just… aaaaah I love that she got this. The relief that it didn’t end the same way as always!

(sidenote: fkdjhgkjgh that’s 2 kids now that will probably be traumatized by y/n’s face without it actually being y/n doing the bad thing oof)

More possession POV! I want to make a note how I love the way you emphasize that it’s him moving y/n’s body. Very much giving the feeling of a puppetmaster! Even if it’s him “wearing” the body I could very clearly imagine his hands physically moving y/n’s head to look back. And oof, the way he was tearing them apart from the inside, making very sure that he would make as much damage as possible if he himself had to die. And once again, y/n would have been willing to sacrifice themselves if it hadn’t been because it would have meant Eclipse’s end also. They better never admit that or they will earn a well deserved shaking by the shoulders, I swear dksgkjñh 

Oh, Glitchtrap just really likes to mock wherever he can. The way he mocked the almost kiss, not only angering the boys but worsening y/n’s guilt at not having noticed the demon and Vanessa just out of their reach. Oh and then! Using y/n to try and get Sun and Moon away! It’s terrifying how a demon can have more control over a human body than the human in question. 

AND THEN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The double possession! The kiss!! AAAAAA The way they push Glitchtrap out together! How it was inevitable that he would lose that fight because even if their body rejected both, their mind would reject Glitchtrap specifically! The way that he can’t try to tear them apart like he did moments earlier because Sun and Moon are making sure to cut his contact with them! And aaah it’s so intense and sad how the process is so painful that for a moment y/n thinks they really will die. How in their mind they think of Vanessa and the kid being safe as what is important, but then they realize how they would not die without regrets if they did not apologize to them. The fact that Eclipse is the main reason not to give up, when their self-sacrificial nature made y/n so alright with dying if it meant they could take down the monster AAAAAA

And aaaaa the boys instantly let go as soon as Glitchtrap is out. Not a millisecond more than necessary is spent in the hunter’s body to make sure not to hurt them more. And ok, this is just gonna be some ramblings about the battle because gosh I just loved it so much. I love the fact that the boys declared Glitchtrap would never hurt another innocent. Not just children. Ahh I’m so proud of them! 

And oof ooooooouch the part where they get their chest ripped open. More parallels! Just like they did to Shoh what came naturally to them, so did they receive what another heart eating demon would do. And aaa Vanessa keeps helping! She’s so prepared!! She knew it took her a moment to find the incantation, so she got the book ready to be easy to find!

Aaaugh our boys received so much damage there, but they kept getting up for their heart aaaaa And oh you could feel the fury when Glitchtrap got so close to the hunter’s heart with his claws. He really went for it thinking he had won and the boys said don’t you dare!

(sidenote: hehe they Eclipsed the sun X3)

And whoooo boy they really did start ripping him apart, piece by piece like promised!

And what a finale to the battle! I love, LOVE, how Glitchtrap’s brought his own undoing upon himself. It was his sick fondness for the plushie that caused so many deaths, (and its image of the golden bunny suit that allowed him access to children) that meant there would be a vessel for him to be trapped in. And also his cruelty for wanting Vanessa to live and suffer through the effects, physical and mental, of the constant possession. Thanks to her being alive, they were able to find him and predict him. And through one of the beings he considered “nothing”, he was erased from existence. I find it interesting that he was willing to let Eclipse walk away after he thought enough damage had been dealt with. Not out of any kindness, I’m sure (probably to make them live with failure like the others) but he seemed to feel some kinship in a twisted way, with how he tried to convince them to also hunt innocent hearts and leave the sacred rules. Meanwhile humans are just toys. Too bad for him a toy is the last thing he was before he was exorcized. 

Aaaaa what an amazing battle Naff! Brutal and tense and so so good!

And then the aftermath! The boys tasting their blood to be sure they would be okay! They must have tasted all the pain and fear from the past day. The past hours. And then y/n admitting, now genuinely, how scared they are. Of losing them. And then make not one, but two vows! One to really drive it home how they will not betray their trust again. And aaaaah they finally coming to terms with their love for cryptids! Accepting a part of themselves by accepting them! AAAAAAA

And man, the boys really are amazing. Healing so quickly after such a battle! Once things have calmed down I can definitely see y/n fascinated (and thankful) for this ability to heal so thoroughly after a single meal. 

(sidenote: Y/n seriously about to become a mechanic for their boys haha, that knee needs some fixing XD)

(other sidenote: oh they picked the plushie up! Maybe to destroy it? hmmm)

The reunion with Vanessa was so sweet! And it was so funny that Sun was so offended that she didn’t immediately assumed they won XD And aaa she gets a hug! And a good cry too! She really needed that. And oh yeah, she will likely never eat a piece of candy again. Might as well be demonic goo in her eyes.

But ha! The “only you”. Called out! Wheeze!

And oh when y/n is thinking about telling her all they’ve been through my first thought was “Oh Vanessa gets to hear Cryptid Sightings from the start! Lucky her!” XD

And my last thought for this chapter was that if y/n is worried about making a good impression with the demon in laws they really shouldn’t be haha! I’m sure banishing The Enemy they’ve been hunting for millenia will absolutely get them in the good graces of the others effortlessly kfgdjhgj

Oh and! Now that Glitchtrap is gone, while the night terrors won’t disappear, I’m very glad there is some closure for them now. The demon is no longer out there. And when they wake up, they can breathe easy knowing that now, it really is only a nightmare. He has no power anymore.

Okay, for the epilogue!

Yay! Vanessa gets to go to a hospital! Too bad demonic possession is not really in their treatment list dkjhfkjdgh But I’m glad she’s not as bad off as we feared! And oh I’m curious about something she said! Human food tastes like ash to demons, but she said Glitchtrap was obsessed with sugar. Does that mean then that demons can taste things if they are possessing a human? hmmm interesting! (but morbid kjdgh)

(sidenote: “you can’t lingered on what would have happened if you had succumbed to the vampire bite”, well the hunter can’t but WE sure can XP)

Ahhh that’s a long stay at the hospital, but it’s nice how they establish some calm and get to figuring things out. And the fact that Vanessa’s tears are clear when they leave! Finally she is physically free from him!! Aaaaaaa

And it’s so sweet how the boy’s care extends to Vanessa now. How they keep patting her head and there’s a certain camaraderie forming. The way they tried to deal with her nightmares too how they did with y/n! It’s sweet, but a bit sad that they couldn’t help. But Vanessa did say Glitchtrap watched her sleep to make sure she wouldn’t escape. Waking to a demon isn’t what she needed. She needs time. To heal from the freshest wounds at least. Her saying that he’s still here says it all. His effects will always linger and her knowing what happened with Henry… well, it’s no wonder she still fears Eclipse could betray them. Thankfully, they’re all together though. They’ll figure it out. 

And aaaaa that final dance was everything! I cackled at the “missing what’s right in front of you” part, because I feel like they were not even including the cryptid part of the equation just the being obvious about their feelings and y/n logic-ing themselves away from noticing fjdhñkjgh

AAAA the getting out of their vessel in front of them though! When before they were so unsure about it! The fact that it’s y/n pulling them out, feeling safe, and wanting to see them! And omg them sharing their name! Something that feels so important to them, because only their loved ones know it, and it feels like they truly are giving them their being. A part of themselves that’s so personal. In a way, they are giving them what is closest to being their heart. What is theirs and only theirs. And the way they yearn for them to repeat it aaaaa! They finally get their heart knowing them as they crave. And there’s so much more for them to get to know too!

AND AAAAA THE KISS!!! Naff you describe kisses so well! So sweet, and intimate, and full of so many emotions, and it’s the hunter’s pov but you can just tell how much it affects the boys too, like it’s something they tried to imagine but didn’t know how much better it would be than that until now. Just the absolute trust in them, and sharing all those feelings and AAAAAAAA-

(sidenote: “They sink into your touch as if you felled them in one swoop” oh this line encapsulates so many thoughts I’ve had about love in general. The one person that could hurt Eclipse the most in the world right now is y/n. But they know they won’t. They know the person they can lower all defenses around and trust with their life is their little hunter, who would access their most vulnerable parts not to hurt but to cherish. To show them kindness and care and so they are happy to give themselves to their heart. To let them know how much they are able to affect them)

And that’s it! 

Naff, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for this fic! Filled with wonder and tension and so many cool creatures! The relationships all so easy to get invested in! All the themes about love, and the internal struggles, and growing together, and fighting to right the wrongs that were done towards those you love, and what means to be brave and trying to do the right thing! What an amazing adventure! Not to mention how much I love your writing because honestly, it’s just so good! You know how much I love it hehe <3 This is the first fic I’ve followed from early on all the way to end too! And what a fantastic one at that! Thank you for all the time and care you have put into this story! I cannot wait to read whatever you have planned for the future!

So to end this, once again! Thank you so much for this fic, Naff! You really are amazing! <3

Ah, Chaotik! I have been rereading this over and over the past few days and I love how detailed your thoughts are and I adore how you connect the crumbs I laid out! I'm almost so happy that you enjoyed it! You are amazing. I have enjoyed your every comment/thought and appreciate you so much ♥

To answer one question: Does that mean then that demons can taste things if they are possessing a human? hmmm interesting! (but morbid kjdgh)

Yes! Demons can taste regular food while possessing a human vessel, and some even get crazy about it, like Glitchtrap obsessing over sugar. When not possessing vessels, human food is gross/tasteless to them!

Thank you, Chaotik! I treasure each and every word you leave on my fics! ♥

[lonelypond]

Learning The Ropes

NicoMaki, Love Live, 2.2K, 1/1

As promised, the Tumblr native version.

Summary: Nico and Maki are sharing a house now, as Nico heals and gets to know Ruby and Dia. But soon, Nico will have to confront the gang that nearly killed her.

Learning The Ropes

Sleeping Maki felt the intensity. She was now used to Dia waking her up by standing in the doorway of her bedroom and staring.

“Good morning, Dia.”

“Good morning, Mama.” Dia could now come to the bed for a brief hug, according to the Dia rules. “Ruby’s cooking.”

Maki was out of the bed and racing for the kitchen. Ruby had no business being by the stove. Cereal was a fine breakfast. But as Maki was about to roar into the kitchen, she saw her patient, tiny, but not as tiny as Ruby, wrapped in Maki’s worn flannel robe and standing next to the stove, one hand on Ruby’s shoulder.

“Nico?”

“Oh, morning, Doctor Maki. I was just showing Ruby here how easy it is to make an apple pie.” Nico raised an eyebrow, “she says you don’t like sweets.”

“No. The girls aren’t allowed candy.” Maki answered automatically. “Where did you get the apples?”

“Your cousin managed to find some Rome beauties, they’re best for baking, and dropped off a half bushel. Nico’s making a pie for dinner tonight. Ruby cut the butter and rolled out the pie dough.”

As far as Maki knew, there was nothing in her pantry you could make pie dough out of. She had the ingredients for tonight’s pot roast and the makings of lunch ham sandwiches, but that was all.

“I sent Rin off with a grocery list.”

“We’re fine.”

“Nico wants to put up some preserves so the girls can have fruit with their winter breakfasts.”

Maki rolled her eyes, “I can buy that.”

“Nico’s recipe is the best.”

“Nico’s going to show me how to do it, Mama, so I can cook for you and Dia.” Ruby sounded more determined than shy.

Nico must be feeling better. But Maki was not going to turn her adopted daughters into child kitchen labor.

“That isn’t necessary, Ruby. I can cook what we need. Or buy it at the general store. Or one of the restaurants in town. Is anything on the stove?” Maki asked, her patience thinning.

“No.”

“Dia, take Ruby to wash up." Maki pushed Dia gently toward her sister, "Nico, I want to look at the wound.”

“Nico is healing fast, Doc.”

Maki pointed to the closest chair, “Sit down, Nico, and I will judge how you’re doing.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nico saluted with a spoon, eyes bright, smile brighter. Maki refused to be charmed.

Maki would certainly not be mentioning this, but the apple and cinnamon smells seasoning the kitchen air, hit delicious high notes that made Maki think apple pie would be an excellent, always breakfast.

###

Maki was nervous. Too many people would be in the house tonight. Ruby was fidgety. When Maki got restless, it seemed to impact Ruby. Maki cut another pound of potatoes into quarters, then laid them in the bottom of the roaster. Carefully settling the browned, seasoned meat on top of that, Maki put the roast in the oven. The girls would have some rewarmed chili when they were ready for their supper. It would be an early night for them. Maki didn’t want them to overhear the conversations so she was letting them tire themselves out by playing outside. Nico was napping.

Maki heard the door.

“Mama?” Dia’s voice, but with no worried notes to concern Maki.

“Be right there.” Maki closed the oven door and washed her hands.

“Ruby’s tired of playing.”

“Okay. Come inside. I'm done here."

“Can we sing?” Dia asked, green eyes wide and hopeful.

Sunday afternoon with their songbook was a family tradition. This was just a regular day for the girls, no matter what having a dinner with law enforcement to discuss the bandit who had ended up in Maki’s spare room was doing to the doctor’s nerves.

“Sure.” Maki sat, poised, at the upright, flexing her fingers, playing a few scales to warm up, while Dia decided which songbook to pick.

“Nico’s a cowboy?” Dia asked.

Any word was better than bandit. “Cowgirl. Maybe cowpoke.”

“Cowpoke.” Ruby giggled.

"This one." Dia handed Maki Jack Thorp’s Songs Of The Cowboys, open to the first song, “Ti Ri Youdy.”

That was a fun one, the girls singing the chorus after each verse.

“Let’s practice the chorus. Remember, it’s Singin' Ti Ri Youdy I ea ea ea, singing Ti Ri Youdy I ea.”

All three voices: “Singin' Ti Ri Youdy I ea ea ea, singing Ti Ri Youdy I ea.”

Then Maki started the verse, “Well boys you see I’m back, on my old red roan And I find there’s no place, like this old ranch home…”

After getting through most of the song, Maki skipped a couple of verses, finishing up with “Well I’ll bid you adios for I got to mosey long And I hope you all enjoyed an old Cowpuncher song.”

A new voice joined the family chorus, lively and bright, “Singin' Ti Ri Youdy I ea ea ea, singing Ti Ri Youdy I ea.”

Maki paused, turning to where Nico was leaning in the doorframe, watching the scene.

“You’re a CowPUNCHER.” Ruby declared, pointing at Nico.

“Nope. Nico never started a fight with anything four legged. Nico had a chuck wagon. Cowpunchers would line up for her famous Range Riders Stew.”

Dia was sitting next to Maki, “Can we have that?”

“Well, we have the apples. Just need beef and the regular stew stuff.” Nico counted ingredients off on her fingers.

“Mama?”

“Give me a list; I’ll pick it up in the morning.”

Nico came over to the piano, leaning over Maki, brushing her shoulder as she flipped through the songbook, “What else is in here? Nico knows a bunch of songs. We should make camp some night and sing them around the campfire. Nico wants to see the Falls before she leaves. We’ll have campfire chili and johnny cakes and roasted potatoes. ”

“Put it on the list.” Maki said.

“And pudding.” Dia added.

“Nico can do pudding.”

Ruby’s eyes were so big Maki feared she’d never be satisfied with Maki’s simple cooking now.

Nico bumped into Maki’s back as she turned another page, humming, smelling like peppermint somehow, a refreshing and cool calm. Maki focused on that, not overheating from everyone crowding around the piano. No one mentioned that Nico said she was leaving.

###

Sheriff Umi Sonoda pushed back from the table. “Kotori will chide me for eating so much. I didn’t know you could cook so well, Maki. Nozomi gave me the impression the girls only got hot meals when you brought them home from a restaurant.”

Maki huffed. Nico grinned. Maki cringed, waiting for some comment about how the girls were so eager for “Nico’s number one cooking” or something like that.

“Dia and Ruby love their Mama’s cooking.” Nico took another bite of roast, “And it’s healing Nico up darn fast.”

“Good to hear. You’ll need your strength.”

“Shall we move this to the parlor?” Maki asked. “I have some brandy a patient sent me.”

Nico helped Maki put the dishes in the sink, but with the housekeeper coming tomorrow, they were just left there. Maki pulled four cut crystal snifters from the hutch.

With everyone settled in chairs, Maki poured. “How is Kotori?”

“Doing well. She has a wedding dress to make for a client in San Francisco. And her mother is coming for a visit next month.”

“I am sorry she couldn’t join us.”

Umi shook her head at Maki, “It is best to just keep the discussion among those of us most involved.”

Rin nodded. “Hanayo doesn’t need to know details.”

Nico sipped at the brandy, then put the glass down.

“Nico knows too many.”

“So, Nico, how did you go from chuckwagon to robbing wagons.” Umi needed reassurance that Nico could be trusted.

Nico’s eyes darkened. “Someone heard I inherited my father’s rifle and found out about Nico being the best shot in camp.”

“Your father’s rifle?”

“His Sharp’s rifle and his sniper’s eye. Tsubasa found out and made Nico her lookout.” Nico fist was clenched, her knuckles white, remembering the threats to her family “Tsubasa makes it so no one says no.” Nico glanced at Maki, “Nico never killed anyone. Tell them, Rin.”

“No, Nico never killed anyone. Nico’s not a killer.”

“What did your father do?”

“Soldier, then miner. He died in a mine collapse.”

Awkward silence.

“So tell us about this meeting you attended.” Umi got everyone back on topic.

“Nico was the lookout. Big plans to head back to Colorado for a meetup at the end of the month, then back into the mountains to derail a train. Tsubasa had information that one of the big banks was sending gold west.”

Umi unrolled a map. “Where’s the meetup?”

Nico pointed.

Rin examined the map. “Where are they hitting the train?”

Nico moved her finger.

“It’s our best chance to catch the whole gang.”

“We need to get…” Umi stopped, awkward.

Rin sounded worried. “If she leaves before they all head out for the heist, they’ll know. And call it off."

“They plan to ride fast. There’s not much on this trail.” Nico shuffled her finger. “But there is a bridge we could block to set up an ambush.”

Rin sighed, “I don’t know if we can get any other marshals there in time.”

“Maybe someone could follow them from…”

Umi shook her head, “We can’t afford any leaks of information. Her life is at stake.”

Who was “her?” Maki wondered as she sat still, gathering as much information as she could.

“There’s the three of us.”

“You don’t have to come, Nico.” Umi said seriously, “It’s not your job.”

“She saved my life. Rin did too. I owe them.” A quick look to Maki, “And Nico wants to prove Nico’s one of the good guys.”

Why did that involve Nico putting her life in danger again, making herself the target of more bullets, Maki’s thoughts grumbled. Wasted effort saving someone who was just going to leave for more trouble.

“Oh, I brought your Dad’s rifle along.” Rin ran out of the room, Maki heard the door, then Rin was back, handing Nico a wrapped rifle. “You can get in some practice.”

“Thanks, pal.” Nico did a quick visual, handling the gun easily. “You took good care of it.”

Maki had a sudden flash of Nico lining up a shot, kneeling behind a rock, bullets chipping off small stones, getting closer and closer.

“You can’t have that in the house.” Maki snapped.

“All right. Lock it in your gun safe.”

“No.” Maki prickled, suddenly tired of everyone, now that they were all staring at her.

“Nico will keep it in the stable then, somewhere no one can find it.”

“The girls get everywhere. They’re at that age.”

“Nico knows what age they’re at. Nico has siblings…”

“And are they going to be glad when they hear you’re dead in a railway robbery shootout?” Maki spun and stomped out of the room, knowing her next sentence, whatever it was, would be shouted.

Nico winced, sitting and holding the gun across her lap.

“Perhaps it is time to say good night.” Umi said.

“Yeah, I’ll stop by and fill Nico in on the details when we figure 'em out.” Rin yawned, eager to get back to the ranch.

“When do we have to leave?” Nico asked quietly, staring after Maki with a thoughtful expression.

“With those dates and distances….a week.” Umi decided, “Will you be ready to ride?”

“Yeah, Maki really is a good doctor. And Nico heals fast.”

“All right. Stay low. Rin will be in touch.” Umi picked up her hat.

“We got this.” Rin chirped as she bounced after Umi.

“We got this…” Nico echoed, adding a pained note.

###

“Lotta stars tonight.” Nico said, as she walked to where Maki was leaning against a fence, staring up, infinite gems sparkling on sable stretching to the heavens.

“That’s why I love it here.” Maki blew out a puff of air, stretching out her arms. “Space and space.”

Nico carefully propped the Sharps within Maki’s reach, “Do whatever you want with it. I just need it a week from now.” Nico stepped up on the rails, seating herself on the top of the fence. “Nico would never endanger your daughters.”

“I know.”

“It’s why Nico has to leave.”

Maki turned to stare at Nico, not hiding her surprise.

“Everyone has seen the poster. Here. Nico’s hometown. All across the Plains. Nico Yazawa, bandit. Now if Nico…” Nico stared up, humming a tune Maki almost recognized, “comes back the hero who caught the A-Rise gang, Nico has a new story.”

“You can get a new start without getting shot at. People reinvent themselves every day out here.” Maki kicked her toe into the dirt, “It was a lousy picture anyway.”

“Thanks for that." Nico laughed. "Maybe you can take a photograph so Nico can have a better one for fans.”

“Maybe.”

Silence and wind and bats and night in all its fluttery brushes of life. Across the sky, a meteor streaked.

“Make a wish?”

“Nope.”

“You’re a stubborn one. Should Nico make a wish?”

“Stop being silly. Make a plan. And make it a damn good one.” Maki grabbed the rifle, stomping back to the house.

Nico laughed, startling an owl flying overhead. She would miss learning new things about the pretty, prickly doctor more than she wanted to admit.

A/N: A/N: Another Yeehawgust prompt as our Wild West tale continues

[mirajanefairytailmage]

Rambling About a Show (12/16/2022)

⚠️SPOILER?!⚠️

I started this drama Wednesday (12/14/2022) night, because I saw an edit of it on YouTube and my brain went 'hey, this is on my list. Let's watch it tonight.' Even though I was feeling restless and couldn't focus. I did get through two full episodes before passing out for the night. Then I watched the rest and finished yesterday evening (12/15/2022). I didn't have the energy to post about it last night. So, that's why I'm posting about it tonight.

This drama had me like this from beginning to end. Because it is an emotional roller-coaster, in my opinion.

I think I cried more than anything else. This show was magical. *badum tss* I'll see myself out. 🤣 In all honesty, I loved every bit of it.

This was another series where I refused to believe the main lead was a criminal. Maybe it's the way the magician is such a lovable character. But also, even with the two incidents that look incriminating, I still couldn't wrap my mind around Ri Eul / Ryu Min-hyuk being the criminal. I've also have a habit of watching a lot of crime shows, so that could be another reason I was like 'Yeah, no it wasn't him'.

I felt so much for Yoon Ah-yi and her younger sister. Their parents did them dirty and if they were real people I would have slapped them over their behavior. The parents, not the kids, just want to clarify that. Poor Yoon Ah-yi had to become an adult too soon. Caring for herself and her younger sister. Which is honestly too relatable for me, but that's a different story that I honestly don't feel like getting into.

Then there's Na Il-deung. He was facing pressure of being someone he doesn't want to be from both parents. Seeing how miserable he is was heartbreaking for me. Also, the scene where he gets an award for "helping" a student in need broke my heart. He and Ah-yi looked so broken. The adults thought they were helping, but that honestly did more damage, in my opinion. His parents are rude as fuck in my opinion.

Baek Ha-na is annoying and rude. I enjoyed the scene where Ah-yi finally told her off. Saying she knows how her kind works. Pretending to care about someone while also looking down on them at the same time. I feel if Baek Ha-na hadn't have confronted Ri-eul the way she did, Bella wouldn't have gotten injured. 😭 Bella not being afraid of death but not wanting to be alone made me cry. 😭 I cried alongside Ri-eul when he leaned over her asking if she could hear him. Why?! Why, did it have to be that way. Not only that but the disappearing act at towards the end made me emotional. Because Ah-yi looks at Ri-eul and says 'do you believe in magic?' Then throws a sheet or blanket over him while saying 'annara sumanara'. 😭 The two most used phrases said by Ri-eul. This drama also had a few more amazing quotes. 🥰

[joyreadstories]

Chapter 1 The Man Who Violated Me

Harrison Lloyd asked, his voice cold and accusatory, "Samantha, who told you to slander Hannah?"

Hayden Lloyd sneered with disgust. "You lowly thing! You couldn't even control yourself and slept with someone else, yet you still blame Hannah?"

Hudson Lloyd's tone was mocking and cruel. "You like being with men, huh? Then go ahead. Do it until you die."

Henry Lloyd chuckled darkly, adding, "I'm giving her to you guys. Do whatever you want."

Hunter Lloyd grinned maliciously, his voice dripping with sadistic pleasure. "Let me cut her Achilles tendon to spice things up for you."

...

On the plane, Samantha Morton's breath hitched, and she suddenly opened her eyes.

Everything that happened four years ago was like a brand burned into her memory.

Her brother, her parents, and that fake girl, Hannah Lloyd, who took her place!

Back then, just after her grandma passed away, people from the Lloyd family came to her, saying she was the daughter they had mistakenly swapped at birth, and they had come to take her back. She thought that coming back home would bring her great happiness.

But she hadn’t expected that her five brothers only saw Hannah as their sister. Along with their parents, they always blamed Samantha for not accepting Hannah.

She endured it once and once again, trying her hardest to please them, but she never imagined that Hannah would frame her, causing her to be ruined by a stranger.When she learned the truth and returned to confront the Lloyds and Hannah, they...

Remembering what they had done to her, Samantha's eyes grew cold as she closed them again.

Half an hour later, at Fleetwood Airport.

Samantha, dressed in casual clothes, wearing a baseball cap, and with black sunglasses covering most of her face, pushed her suitcase as she walked out from the arrivals gate.

Even though her face was obscured, the aura she exuded made people turn their heads to look at her.

In the scorching heat of July and August, the constant buzzing of cicadas made people restless. Samantha, enduring the blazing sun, finally reached her place.

Just as she passed through the greenery, a strong smell of blood hit her nose. She became instantly alert, quickly stepping back, and in the next second, someone lunged at her.

"Help me."

It was a man covered in blood, looking gravely injured.

When Samantha saw the bloodstains dirtying her white pants, her expression darkened, and she frowned slightly, her voice icy, "Get lost!

"I... I'll give you money." The man's voice was hoarse and weak as he struggled to speak again.

"I don't need it."

Samantha refused once more and stepped around him to leave. But just as she passed by him, out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a sandalwood bracelet on his wrist.

Her footsteps halted, her eyes narrowing slightly.

That's the only keepsake grandma left me. How could it be on this man's wrist? Could it be...

Suddenly realizing something, Samantha's pupils contracted sharply, and she looked at the man again!

Is it him? The man who violated me that night?

Samantha steadied herself, half-squatting as she spoke in a cool voice, "Money doesn't interest me, but I am interested in your bracelet. Will you give it to me?"

Upon hearing this, the man's hand, the one wearing the bracelet, suddenly tightened. He remained silent.

"If not, that's fine."

She figured she could just take it once he was dead anyway.

Unbothered, Samantha gave the man a slight kick and was about to leave.

The man winced in pain, gritting his teeth before saying, "Take it."

Satisfied, Samantha curled her lips into a small smile. "Deal."

With that, she bent down to help him up, propping him against a nearby tree, and then began to clean his wounds.

After about ten minutes, once the wounds were cleaned, Samantha finally got a clear look at the man's face. Though he looked extremely pale and weak, his commanding presence was unmistakable, a natural aura of authority.

As she stared at his face, doubt stirred in her mind. Didn't Hannah say the man from that night was a beggar she picked up off the street?

While she was still puzzled, she suddenly heard the sound of hurried footsteps approaching. Her eyes flickered, and she quickly took the bracelet from the unconscious man, raising it slightly toward him as she said, "Fair trade."

Without another word, she grabbed her suitcase and walked off swiftly. She had just left when a group of a dozen men in black suits arrived at the spot. Seeing the unconscious man on the ground, they exclaimed, "Mr. Maxwell!"

Chapter 2 Do You Think You Deserve That?

After arriving at her place, the more Samantha dwelled on it, the more something felt amiss. She quickly typed out a message. "Asher, look into the guest list from four years ago at the Laurier Hotel."

Moments later, a simple "OK" sticker appeared in reply. Gripping her phone, Samantha's mind wandered, replaying everything in her head.

Just then, the familiar ringtone of a WhatsApp video call interrupted her thoughts. Spotting the cute cartoon avatar on the screen, the icy tension in Samantha's demeanor dissolved. Smiling, she answered, "My sweetheart!"

Three familiar faces immediately filled the screen, each one practically tripping over the other to speak first.

"Mommy, is that your new home? I love it!"

"Mommy, we have a surprise for you!"

Hearing her children's sweet, excited voices, Samantha's expression softened as she gently reassured them, "This will be your new home too. I can't wait to see your surprise."

Years ago, after being rescued, Samantha had fallen into a four-month coma. When she finally woke, the doctors had told her she was pregnant with triplets. They warned that her body was in poor condition and terminating the pregnancy could mean she'd never have children again.

She chose to keep them. Her eldest and second were boys, Oliver Morton and Logan Morton, both eerily resembling the man she had encountered earlier, while her youngest was a girl, Lily Morton.

The thought of running into their biological father right after returning stirred a mix of emotions in her. After chatting with the kids for a while longer, she ended the call, forgetting about the surprise they had mentioned.

As soon as she hung up, her phone buzzed again with a WhatsApp notification. She opened it and found an auction invitation, followed by a message. "Sammy, you have to come tomorrow! There's something you'll want!"

Samantha didn't reply. Instead, she scrolled through the guest list attached to the invitation, lazily glancing over the names. But when she saw the Lloyd family listed, a soft, bitter laugh escaped her lips.

The next day, Samantha arrived at the auction's entrance, draped in a sleek black strapless gown. Her natural beauty, coupled with the cold elegance she exuded, made heads turn as people tried to guess who she was.

Uncomfortable under the scrutiny, Samantha quickly pulled up the invitation on her phone and handed it to the usher for verification, eager to slip inside without further attention.

"Samantha?"

Just then, a surprised voice sounded from behind her, and the next second, someone grabbed Samantha's arm. It was Hannah's face that came into view.

Hannah's expression was filled with excitement, her grip tightening on Samantha's arm as she turned back and shouted, "Harrison, Henry, Hunter! It's really Samantha!"

Samantha looked up and saw the three men standing across from her. They were Harrison, the eldest of the Lloyd family, Henry, the fourth, and Hunter, the fifth.

"Samantha! It's so good that you're okay. Where have you been all these years? We've all missed you."

Samantha scoffed coldly, impatiently shaking off Hannah's hand as she mocked, "What's wrong? Are you disappointed to see me alive?"

Hannah's expression instantly turned awkward, and she shook her head frantically, her voice choking with emotion. "Samantha, no! Are you still mad at me? I'll… I'll pack up and leave right away.

"Hannah! What nonsense are you saying?" The moment she started crying, the three brothers couldn't stand by any longer. Hunter immediately stepped in front of her, glaring fiercely at Samantha. "You've just come back, and already you're bullying Hannah?"

Henry looked at Samantha as though she were an enemy. "You should have stayed dead. Why come back at all? What a curse! And how dare you bully Hannah? Didn't you get enough of a beating before?"

Harrison's gaze darkened as he pulled the sobbing Hannah into his arms, his sharp eyes locking onto Samantha. "Apologize, Samantha."

"Ha!" Samantha sneered, watching them protect Hannah like she was a precious jewel. "Apologize? Do you think you deserve that?"

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Wildest dreams Bonus: Jacob’s POV

Summary: Becoming part of the wolfpack, Jacob was forced to say goodbye to his past life which includes his best friend. 

Wildest dreams Masterlist

----------------------------------------------------

Jacob couldn’t remember a time where she wasn’t in his life. The first memory he can think back to is trying to pronounce her name. It’s as if he knew she’d be important to his future, that the name would cross his tongue so often he’d mumble it in his sleep for years to come.

When he looked at her now, he couldn’t help the way his heart dropped whenever she looked away. Y/N is in his head, always, tattooed across his heart like an incurable affliction he’d never want to part with. They once meant so much to one another, yet she’s become a stranger over a span of few weeks.

Becoming a shifter was always supposed to be his destiny, not her. He reminds himself of this quite often. It’s a thought he repeats day in and day out, protecting the tribe - her, that’s his destiny. 

Perhaps one day she’ll learn the truth and understand why he’s stepped back from their morning walks to school and the laughs they’d share whenever she told him of her bizarre dream from the past night. 

But right now, it feels like drowning. He’s restless dreaming, barely sleeping for his best friend has lost the smile he’d get butterflies from. Embry, Quill and Jacob have left their little circle and in the end, the circle had turned into a dot. He felt guilty over it, hoping she’d find a new crowd and yet, selfishly, Jacob wished she wouldn’t. 

A part of him wanted her to get angry, to confront him as Bella did. He wanted her to be enraged enough to push the boundaries and find out the truth herself. He hoped she’d fight for him, for their friendship. 

She didn’t.

Instead, Y/N walked with her head down, never making eye contact with him or anyone else from the pack. She’d hurry her pace, her heart thundering in his ears as she passed them. Jacob knew her suffering is taking her by a storm and he wasn’t allowed to do anything about it. 

“Just let me talk to her.” 

Jacob has been insistent with Sam, but the alpha was always clear on his stance regarding the matter.

“Unless she’s an imprint or a wolf, we can’t risk it. I won’t repeat myself anymore.”

Huffing, Jacob shook his head as he slammed the door behind him. She may not be one of them, but she is a part of his heart he refused to part with. Becoming strangers after their close friendship is far too painful for Jacob. 

Hearing Sam’s words ringing in his ears, Jacob’s eyes widen. He’s not made eye contact with Y/N since he had to take several weeks off school and pretend he has mononucleosis. He’s never actually checked if he or anyone else did either. 

Determined, he grabbed Embry and Quill, forcing them to agree they’d make eye contact with her the next day.

And they did. 

Unfortunately for Jacob, neither of them imprinted. In a way, he was pleased. She was always closer to Jacob, naturally he wanted to be the one. 

Licking his lips, he felt his heart pounding so fast he feared he might lose control and shift. Following after her, he wondered if his hands are shaking due to anxiety of speaking to her or the fear of shifting before her. While it would ensure she’s aware of the truth, Sam would likely kill him. 

Huffing, Jacob takes her by the elbow and lightly pulls her back. Her eyes, big and beautiful fix on his and he holds his breath in anticipation.

“What do you want?” Her voice is sharp, unforgiving and colder than he’s ever heard. 

He wanted to ask her not to let him go, feeling her slip away already as he stares at her. So many memories flood him of their past, of the nights they fell asleep on the same bed and the mornings they woke up in each other’s embrace. 

Jacob wished he could remind her how it used to be, to beg her to stay and yet he couldn’t. The disdain and betrayal in her eyes were clear as he released her from his grip.

There was no defining moment, no particular connection made other than the pain of being so close to her inflicted. She’s right there and yet he can’t possibly explain how much she means to him because despite his best effort, Jacob didn’t imprint on Y/N.

He hoped he was wrong, continuing to stare at her with a lump growing at the back of his throat, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t imprint by the sheer force of will. If he could, she’d be his - now and forever. 

Everything he ever wanted was to be hers, to find home in her embrace and now, as she shook her head and her eyes filled with tears, Jacob knew it was over. Once she turned her back on him, he watched her wordlessly as she walked away from him, sealing their fate. 

Eventually, he’ll become a stranger she struggles to remember while she’ll remain in his bloodstream for as long as he lives. 

[violenthunted]

in his mind thousands of scenarios rattle against each other in a violent capharnaum that makes him crave the quiet that dilaudid provided while poisoning his bloodstream. in one of them juno takes her hand away and the rejection tastes exactly as his father’s love did. in another, she grabs his wrist and wrangles with it in order to get him away from her, and in her eyes he sees whatever phantom used to take over his mother when her meds weren’t taken on time. in this life, though, juno’s acceptance is a quiet, small victory. it does not remind him of anything ; the ouroboros of his memory is broken, and for once it is just a snake, undulating around their touching hands. it cannot hurt itself. it does not wish to bite a tail that looks awfully like its next mistake.

“how can i not ask?” his smile is bitter, and it stains his face in the same way as pain did, only it is not distorded by an old camera & a screen. no static to make him appear like a faraway object. “you saw everything.” there are a thousand scenarios playing through his mind and in each one he explains it differently. in some, he tells her that he was whimpering long before the needle touched his skin. so for a few moments of desperate bliss, he was thankful for the drugs, thankful for the silence and the calm and that, when it came to leave, he knew he had to take some home with him. in others, he simply stares at her until she quietly wriggles out of her seat, apologizing and telling him that she’ll give him the time he needs. in that life, he knows, things do not end well for him. drugs swell his veins while his mouth remains stubbornly closed, and when hotch’s severe gaze falls upon him, it is not tainted with sadness, only disappointment. as for gideon, he is not there at all, he has already moved on : his shiny boy-shaped toy is no longer working the way it was meant to, and so it is deemed useless. what is a soldier if it cannot fight in the war, etc etc.

in some scenarios, though, it is through sobs that he explains it all : how he dug a grave for a man who had not lived at all, how he buried a needle in his forearm to quiet a mind that never genuinely spoke of what it longed for, and so all he faced at the end of that night was his own failure at being alive. and how, while everyone else thought he had clung to life, it was the other way around : life had held him. life had not let go. and spencer wanted to honour it, he really wanted to, but on days like this, with trembling fingers and restless knees, he understood that life was something one was meant to bite into ; not something to cherish through the pages of a book. he was not up for the task. even given a second chance, he was going to fail.

which leads us back here, where he looks at juno – the embodiment of the life he wishes he could live & yet cannot imagine for himself. her reassuring smile is a small, sad bird that will not take flight. spencer understands: even for profilers, it is sometimes hard to lie through your teeth. “it’s fine.” he says, and the subject is immediately dropped, abandoned & discarded. spencer’s hand slowly abandons juno’s, perhaps the only proof of the chasm being dug between them.

“penelope would listen.” he replies immediately, as matter-of-fact as he usually is, only there is no spark behind his words. whatever amusement and levity juno is chasing after, spencer cannot find it in himself. and he cannot be bothered to look for it either. instead, he moves on his seat, settles a bit lower so that his knee won’t pound against the small table while it keeps bouncing, only actual clue that his admissions weren’t a pipe dream. after a moment of awkward silence, which juno is confronted with because spencer refuses to develop his reply, he finally adds, not quite a concession, “what did you do last weekend?” he questions, uncomfortable & stilted, while he purposefully avoids her eyes. but the words are offered all the same, and while they’re not followed with a curious smile, they are still pregnant with interest.  

      𝐢𝐭   𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬   𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲   𝐟𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐫,   𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲   𝐛𝐢𝐭   of   strength   to   refrain   from   flinching   away   from   the   touch.   his   touch.   reid   reaching   across   and   touching   her,   even   if   it’s   the   tips   of   her   fingers,   is   something   else   entirely.   nothing   to   hide   from,   to   cower   away   from   because   he   so   rarely   initiates   it.   this   means   more   to   him   than   to   her.   so   do   not   mess   this   up,   a   mental   mantra   as   she   bites   the   inside   of   her   cheek.   shock   subsides   and   is   seized   by   despair.   he   wanted   to   die.   spencer   reid,   doctor   and   boy   genius   and   all   things   great,   but   still   a   kid   underneath   all   that   acquired   knowledge   and   ready   -   to   -   go   stats   on   his   tongue.   that   spencer   reid,   wanted   to   die?   they   had   failed   him.   what   were   they   if   they   could   not   protect   their   own?   what   were   their   odds   if   reid   had   given   up?

      his   words   aren’t   all   that   foreign   to   her   and   neither   is   the   sinking   feeling   taking   over.   the   one   burying   itself   into   the   pit   of   your   stomach,   eating   away   at   you   and   you   have   to   squeeze   your   colleague’s   hand   to   remind   yourself   you’re   still   there.   but   it   would   be   selfish   to   say   ‘   i   know   what   that’s   like   ’   and   he’d   worked   so   hard   to   finally   speak   to   her   about   his   talks   with   death.   about   what   he’d   been   really   feeling   when   he   seemed   so   small   and   fragile   behind   the   computer   screen.   again,   not   much   time   for   her   to   dwell   on   how   she’d   almost   punted   her   knuckles   through   the   screen,   because   reid   is   finally   speaking.   i   thought   about   never   seeing   you   again.

      you?   no,   us.   the   bau,   of   course.   what   is   wrong   with   you?   yes,   the   one   place   spencer   felt   at   home   without   needing   to   have   any   kind   of   roots   there.   without   so   much   as   a   snide   remark   or   a   skeptical   gaze   ──   no,   you   wouldn’t   find   these   at   quantico.   she   swallows   down   all   of   these   confessions,   slowly.   slowly   accepting.   “   we   were   really   scared,   spencer.   we   were   so   .   .   .   lost   without   you,   ”   a   sad   admission   because   she   remembers   turning   to   ask   him   for   his   thoughts,   only   to   find   morgan   there,   chin   in   hand   (   ‘   i   almost   said   the   same   thing   ’   he   had   told   her   ).   juno   pats   his   hand   because   it’s   still   there,   he   hasn’t   gone   anywhere.   despite   the   scene   playing   in   front   of   her,   even   as   she   stares   into   him,   wilting   away   in   a   small,   wooden   chair.   i’m   never   gonna   let   that   happen   again,   juno   does   not   say   aloud   because   she’s   already   made   a   fool   of   herself.   spencer,   comically   aware   of   all   things   in   the   world   and   their   chances,   knew   it   would   be   an   empty,   naive   promise.   he   was   still   hurting,   continued   hurting   and   there   wasn’t   much   they   could   do   without   jeopardizing   his   spot   here.

      seconds   from   falling   back   into   her   chair,   letting   the   fabric   consume   her   sweater,   and   then   her   skin,   her   hair,   that   awful   beating   inside   her   chest   ──   reid   is   telling   her   another   thing   much   softer   than   before.   not,   not   telling,   but   asking   this   time   and   juno   almost   (   almost   )   falls   into   herself   to   prove   him   wrong.   holding   his   fingertips   if   not   more   tightly.   “   don’t.   ”   forcing   a   reassuring   smile   so   it   stings   her   cheeks.   “   of   course,   of   course   i   still   trust   you.   always.   ”   a   frain   twitch   in   her   lip   because   one   day,   much   to   her   demise,   the   truth   would   come   to   light   and   he   would   never   trust   her   again.   something   so   ugly,   distorted,   and   cruel,   how   could   he?   like   everyone   else,   turning   away.   spencer,   gideon,   morgan,   penelope   .   .   .   all   of   them,   turning   away   in   disgust   because   she’d   let   them   down.   “   besides,   ”   an   attempt   to   lighten   the   mood,   despite   his   awful   admissions.   “   it’s   not   like   i   have   anyone   else,   hm?   if   i   don’t   have   you,   who   else   can   i   talk   with   about   french   films?   or,   the   latest   neolithic   discovery?   …   gideon?   he   rarely   listens   to   me   when   he   asks   me   about   my   weekend   plans.   ”   

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Daddy Issues | Draco Malfoy

Wow I’m sorry I didn’t mean to disappear like that Lovelies! Sometimes I forget depression and writers block are a thing until they punch me in the face and force me to go MIA for a hundred years! I guess I’m back? I hope? Fingers crossed? Anyway, I’m sorry this isn’t a TVD fic but I figured Y’all would appreciate something over nothing. I missed you all more than I can say! I hope you enjoy, I love you all!

Description: Draco and y/n are best friends until Draco’s father threatens y/n. She avoids Draco until he confronts her.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader

Warnings: Like none, it’s kinda sad but not really, the only flaw is bad writing

Word count: 3.4k

Tags: Angst, FLUFF

(not my gif, I just love it lol)

Your heart stings from across the courtyard, the gap between you and the blonde boy tangible. For a second you don't know whether or not your heart is even in your chest anymore or if it’s in his hands. In that case your heart is sitting on a bench, sandwiched between Blaise Zabini and Vincent Crabbe. Maybe he isn’t holding your heart, though, maybe he is your heart, in which case you’re avoiding your heart’s piercing gaze. 

Your hands twitch at your sides, itching to grab his or to twist through his silky hair or do anything other than lay idle when he is only mere steps away from you. Your hands ache to touch him and usually you would be doing just that: clinging to his robes or twisting the rings around on his fingers or simply tangling your own fingers with his slender ones. Your hands feel painfully empty without him to hold on to. 

That makes sense though, he’s your best friend after all. You’re rarely ever spotted less than five feet away from each other. Everyone at Hogwarts can see how utterly entwined you are, every part of him wrapped around your finger and every part of you sitting precisely in the palm of his hand. You orbit each other, drawn in by a gravity that the rest of the student body can’t deny.

Right now, though, that gravity is being tested and everyone feels a little bit like they’re floating away. 

Draco sits exactly seventeen feet and four inches away from you. You can feel his eyes on the back of your head, like lasers, searing into your black and gold jumper and refusing to look away. It burns but you embrace it, taking any contact, even imagined, that you can get from him. Even if it hurts. You would gladly burn for the blonde Slytherin if it made him happy. This doesn’t make him happy, though, being ignored by the girl that commands his entire life. You know that, but you also know that it’s for the best. 

You run your hands through your hair, tugging on the strands relentlessly and closing your eyes. You see his father, the tall, grim man, and replay the conversation you had in your head. 

“He has a bright future ahead of him, y/n.” 

Lucious had backed you into a corner, both metaphorically and literally, the stone of the castle biting harshly into your skin, “I know that, sir.”

He stood tall, menacingly, like he was bigger than the castle itself, “he doesn’t have time for nonsense, y/n.”

Your hands trembled, the cold of the dungeon nipping at them fiercely, “he’s very bright, Mr. Malfoy, I don’t think I’m slowing him down.”

The neutral, if not cold, expression on his face switched then to one of red hot anger, “did I ask what you think? It’s time the two of you separate. He is to be married next year and not to some silly Hufflepuff girl.”

“We’re just friends, sir,” your eyes had long since found the floor.

“Don’t be daft, my son is infatuated with you. If I catch you near him from this day on I will not hesitate to destroy you, do you understand me? Do not speak to him again.”

That was two weeks ago and you haven’t dared to go near him since, spending every waking moment of your spare time in the Hufflepuff common room. You aren’t brave, you didn’t march up to your best friend and tell him that his father threatened to destroy you. You would be lying if you said you even thought about it. The reality of it is that you’re a coward and have iced Draco out in fear of having his father hurt either of you.  

His father’s words still ring in your head. Don’t be daft, my son is infatuated with you. Your heart flutters hard in your chest, your rib cage the only barrier keeping it from finding him across the courtyard. Draco is infatuated with you. Apparently. He hasn’t said so, only his father. Still, you can’t help but hope that it’s true.

But then that makes your chest burn and palms sting again. You aren’t allowed to hope that Draco wants you. You aren’t even allowed to hope that he wants to be your friend. You’re not allowed anywhere near him, let alone allowed to kiss him. Would he even kiss you? Probably not. You tug even harder on your hair, as if pulling each strand out will somehow take the pain away. Don’t be daft.

“Y/n,” gentle hands wrap around your tight fists, “you’re hurting yourself.”

You forgot Luna was there, sitting next to you on the bench, the bench that is seventeen feet and four inches away from Draco. You let the airy Ravenclaw unravel your fingers and hold one of your hands, rubbing circles on the back of your palm. It doesn’t feel the same, her grip is too soft, her fingers too short. Draco’s fingers are longer. 

You shake your head, trying to clear the fog of him from your senses, “sorry, I know I’m not the best company right now.”

Luna only smiles at you and rolls her eyes gently, “I know it’s hard for you right now.”

Of course you told her. You weren’t able to tell Draco so you turned to Luna, your other best friend. You nod your head at the blonde girl, too tired to speak. 

“I think you should tell him though, he looks bloody miserable without you,” your eyes widen as if on their own accord.

You feel dizzy at the thought and not the good kind like when Draco spins you around. No, this is the bad kind of ‘I’m definitely going to throw up’ dizzy. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears rapidly. Thump, thump, thump. It almost sounds like footsteps, angry ones, pounding towards you. That can’t be right.

“I can’t tell him, Luna, you know that.”

A hand lands on your shoulder, warmth spreading through your jumper. You open your mouth, ready to thank Luna for relentlessly comforting you, but close it quickly when a thought hits you. You glance down to your lap, just to double check. There, on your lap rests your hand carefully wrapped up in both of Luna’s. Crap. 

“What can’t you tell me?” It takes everything in you to not let his familiar voice curl around you and pull you further into his touch.

You shift out of his hold, not turning to look at him yet, afraid to see the expression on his face. Would it be anger? Sadness? Disgust? The last one makes your heart drop, the thought of the blonde boy being repulsed by you causing you to curl into yourself slightly. You would take anything from him but that.

You stand curtly, turning to face Draco, all too aware of the lack of space between you and him. Six inches at the most, every breath he takes makes his chest brush yours. You still don’t look up at him, not anywhere ready to meet the eyes of the boy you’ve been avoiding. 

You lock your eyes on his silver and green tie, mumbling to it instead of him, “What makes you think I was talking about you, Draco?”

You finally glance up at him and wish you hadn’t. His eyes, usually a bright blue, are dull and rimmed with red. The bruises under his eyes stand out against his cheeks. He’s always had dark circles but this is extreme. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days, like he hasn’t eaten in days. It’s almost garish, but then again nothing could ever make the Slytherin Prince look anything less than perfect. He looks destroyed, almost as if his father had gotten to him too. You have to stop yourself from reaching out, choosing instead to look away again.

“Are you serious right now? Tell me this is all a joke y/n!” The courtyard goes silent when Draco raises his voice.

You squeeze your fists, the tone of his voice a punch in the gut. He never shouts at you. Draco is never anything but soft around you. Right now, however, he’s seething. No one around you dares to make a sound.

You close your eyes, trying desperately to stop a traitorous flood of tears, “Draco, please don’t do this right now.”

Draco takes a step back, as if your words had shoved him, “if not now then when? You’ve given me no choice! You run every time you see me, you don’t answer my notes. Do you even read them anymore? Can you just explain why you bloody hate me?”

His voice cracks when he says hate, like its acid in his mouth. In any way it’s acid to your ears. You could never hate Draco, it’s very much the opposite actually. You’re painfully in love with him.

“I don’t,” you have to pause to clear your throat, trying to rid the lump, “I could never hate you.”

His hand grasps you chin gently, his rings cold against your skin as he pulls your face up to meet his eyes, “then tell me what’s going on. Please.”

You squeeze your eyes close, sinking into the warmth of his palm for a moment. You can’t remember a time you’ve gone this long without the blonde boy touching you. You can’t stop the tears from trailing down your cheeks and into his palm. You can feel the hitch in his breath as if it had come from your own lungs. You wrap your own hands around his, squeezing his fingers gently before pulling them away from you.

“I can’t, Dra. We can’t do this anymore. I’m,” your voice trembles, your eyes still closed, his hand still locked in yours, “I’m not good for you. We can’t be friends.”

You release his hand, taking a few steps back from the love of your life. This time, though, he doesn’t let you get as far, taking two steps towards you for every step you take away from him. It doesn’t take him long before he’s in front of you again, closer and even more determined. His eyes burn into yours, his hands restless. You know he wants to touch you. At least, you hope he does. You want to.

“Don’t say that,” there’s a strength behind his words, one you have yet to hear until now, “don’t you dare say that! Tell me what’s going on y/n, you need to tell me! I can fix it. I can make it better whatever it is just please tell me. Please, love.”

Love. That’s new. Your heart cracks even more when he says it and maybe that’s because you know you won’t get to hear it again. You wish you could grab the word from his lips and hold on to it. You want to put it in your pocket so at least you can have a part of him, the very best part of him, for when he walked away. But you can’t, so there’s no use in trying. 

“You can’t fix it this time, Draco,” you take another step back and your back hits the rough surface of a tree.

He fills the space between the two of you once more and this time you’re stuck. Your palms continue to sting, reminding you relentlessly how much you need to touch him. You scrunch the hem of your jumper, trying desperately to quell the pain. Your wrists feel like they’re on fire, something you’ve come to realise that means you’re about to have a panic attack. He can't see that happen, you refuse to fall apart in front of him. 

Of course he notices, though. That’s your Draco, he notices everything about you. That’s his job. 

He grabs your face again, stopping you from frantically looking everywhere but him, “of course I can. When have I not fixed your problems? Remember when those Ravenclaws’ were messing with you? I took care of that, didn’t I? And Parkinson? Zabini? I took care of them too. Remember when Snape wouldn’t let you hand in your assignment because you had the flu? And the time you passed out in the stairwell? I fixed those too because I can. Because I wanted to and I do what I want. Now, all I’ve wanted for days is you so if someone said something to you I need you to tell me so I can sort them out and get my best friend back. Now.”

He stares into your eyes the entire time, daring you to turn away. You feel like you can’t breathe, your hands once again wrapped around his but this time clinging for dear life. You’ve been terrified for two weeks and the exhaustion hits you in one, whopping punch to your stomach, the second punch of the day. Without warning your legs give out, all of your weight falling into the blonde who seems to expect it. His arms wrap around you, holding you against his chest for the first time in what feels like ages.

You don’t realise that you’re sobbing until you try to speak, “Dra, I’m so scared. I’m tired,” you grip his robes in your fists, your head falling against his chest, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, I feel like I’m falling apart.”

He pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you and holding you against him. You can feel the sigh of relief he releases and his heartbeat slowing as if it’s your own. Maybe that’s because yours does the same. For the first time in weeks you’re engulfed in Draco and you cling to him, circling your arms around his waist and pulling yourself impossibly close. He wastes no time either, wrapping his cloak around you and burying his face in your neck. 

Your body shakes furiously in his arms, everything you’ve been bottling up comes pouring out in a torrent of sobs and hiccups. Draco presses closer to you, towering over you and shielding you from the rest of the world. You let his peppermint scent engulf you completely,

“For Salazar’s sake y/n I need you to tell me what’s wrong. I need to fix it, love. Please tell me,” his voice is low and choked.

He’s right, you know he’s right. You squeeze your eyes tighter and grip his back, savouring the muscles under his dress shirt for a few more seconds before you know you’ll have to let go.

“Your father told me we couldn’t see each other anymore. He told me,” you pull out of his arms, leaning back against the tree, “he said, well, it doesn’t matter what he said. We just can’t be together.” Draco’s eyes widen and your cheeks heat up, your words ringing through your ears, “I mean we can’t be friends.”

Draco steps closer to you, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes. He mumbles something under his breath that you can’t hear but you’re almost positive that it’s a curse. When he opens his eyes, your heart stops. His blue eyes burn into yours, glassy and angry but with something else too, something hot and fierce. Your heart restarts when he places his arms against the tree, caging you between it and him. You can’t resist placing your hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat pick up as well.

“What did my father say, y/n.” He isn’t asking you, he’s telling you.

You lower your eyes, not bothering to fight him anymore, “he told me he would destroy me if I kept being friends with you. He said you were getting married and that you could never marry a Hufflepuff and that he would destroy me if he had to.”

He staggers back with each word, like each one shoves him more than the last. He squeezes his fists before straightening his fingers, shoving them once more through his hair. His shoulders are tense, his back straight. His eyes are screwed shut again. 

“Bloody hell,” he pulls at his hair, biting his lip, “he’s lost his damn mind.”

You wrap your arms around yourself, tugging at your jumper, suddenly hot all over. Now is not the time to be getting riled up over Draco but you can’t help it, he looks exquisite. Messy hair and an un-tucked shirt, the veins in his hand prominent and his rings glittering in the afternoon sun. He’s absolutely and undeniably perfect.

“It’s ok, Dra, you’ll be ok,” you try your best to comfort him but he snaps his eyes open, looking at you like you’ve gone mad as well.

“My dad threatened to kill you! No I am not okay!”

This time you walk to him, pulling him into your chest again and wrapping your arms around his neck. He sweeps his arms around your waist, pulling you so close that you have to stand on your tiptoes to keep your arms around him. His hands grasp your hips tight and you immediately know what he wants. You oblige, wanting it just as much if not more, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his stomach. You tuck your face into his neck this time, breathing in the slightest hint of apples, green ones. 

You don’t speak, practically feeling the words bubbling in his chest, “My dad told you he was going to kill you, love. He threatened you and he didn’t even tell me. I am definitely not okay. I need to do something. I need to talk to him. And he told you I was getting married? He’s lucky he isn’t here. I don’t care if he’s my father, nobody talks to my girl like that.”

He’s rambling, something he does when he’s at his end. His words wrap around you, tangling with every part of you and sinking into your skin. They lull you into a daze of sorts, almost nodding off on your best friends shoulder. You don’t realise how tired you are until you’re in his arms, safe. And then it hits you, and you’re wide awake again.

“Your girl?”

You cut him off mid sentence, squeezing your legs tighter around him to bring his attention back to you.

“What did you say, love?” Draco hikes you further up his body, readjusting his grip on you.

Your cheeks flame, your neck hot. His eyes bore into yours, searching for something that you’re not quite sure you’re ready to give. His lips are so close to yours, his breath hitting your lips with every exhale. The courtyard around you fades away and Hogwarts itself holds its breath.

“Did you call me your girl, Draco?”

He doesn’t blush like you thought he would, “yes, I did. That’s what you are. Mine. And Merlin help my father for trying to take you away from me.”

You stare at him for a few seconds, letting his words sink into your flesh. They curl around your bones, laying down a warmth that you’ve been craving for longer than you can remember. He’s right. Of course he’s right, he’s Draco. You are his and you always have been. His arm around your back tightens, jostling you enough to make you cling harder to him. Your fingers find their way to the nape of his neck, tangling in his hair. He leans his head back, giving in to your touch willingly. 

He holds your gaze as your fingers weave through his silky hair, capturing you with his eyes and refusing to let go, “I’m yours, Draco. Please don’t let me go.”

He leans his forehead against yours, “never, love.”

Hogwarts releases the breath it had been holding, the noise of the courtyard once more fluttering around you. You go to get down from Draco but he stops you, tightening his arms. You only shake your head and smile, letting the sunshine warm your face.

Your heart aches slightly still though, “what are we going to do about your father, Dra?

He starts walking, the sudden movement causing you to tug his hair a little harder.

His voice is strained when he finally answers, leaning down to rub his cheek against your head, “just let me handle that, ok?” 

You give in, for now, laying your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes for the final time, “where are we going, Dra?”

“We, my love, are going to take a very much needed nap.” 

[taechaos]

Web of Lies

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying.

warnings: angst, panic attack, dry humping, the TINIEST bit of fluff

word count: 4.3k

Obstacles are inevitable in relationships; there’s always something that must go wrong. They can come in the form of arguments, disagreements, actions, or people like Taehyung. One physical obstacle that always knows when Jungkook is with you.

A few days after the fight between the two close friends, Taehyung’s nose somewhat healed and Jungkook doesn’t shy away from you as frequently. What’s the point when the people he tried to hide you from found out about his relationship with you anyway? The only reason he doesn’t approach you every time he sees you is because: 1. He doesn’t enjoy being clingy; that would mean he likes being around you all the time which he refuses to admit. 2. You would probably get tired of him and stop loving him. 3. He kissed your friend who always sits next to you outside.

Now that he’s taking most of his opportunities to talk to you, and maybe kiss you, Taehyung is growing restless. Every time Jungkook is with you, so is Taehyung. Some. Fucking. How.

To name one of the busts: when Jungkook was kissing you in the university’s hallway two days ago, Taehyung popped in out of nowhere and shouted, “Get a room, you sluts!” It made for a good laugh between the students, especially when Jungkook ran after him out of the building. 

Another time is when Jungkook was watching you work in the yard and Taehyung joined you two to ask about that “one hot friend of yours”. You ended up telling him about Soyeon and Minnie while Jungkook glared at Taehyung that conveyed a clear message: Don’t. So, he didn’t. It didn’t have anything to do with getting elbowed when you weren’t looking.

It was because that would ruin the fun, and he has a sense of purpose while roaming the entire campus to make his fourth bust of the week. He’s searched the hot and empty spots, but he just can’t find the passionate couple anywhere. If he can’t keep disrupting their displays of affection, how will Jungkook get annoyed enough to spill the truth to you? You deserve that much, and if you still accept him, then Taehyung’s out of the picture.

Why can’t Jungkook see that?

For starters, one of the reasons is Jungkook is distracted and growing very irritated by the heavy stare he feels digging into his skin. Who the fuck is watching him? He thought it would be nice to keep you company in the main campus library by controlling your hand under the table over his clothed erection while you skim through your textbook for a light revision, but a pair of eyes behind a bookshelf won’t stop glaring into his soul through thick frames that he can’t see. 

He blows out a breath and screws his eyes shut. His jaw clenches and you immediately catch on, worriedly asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s fucking watching me and I can’t get off,” he grits. Your cheeks heat and grow crimson when you glance down at your occupied hand, palmed by his bigger one in a tight grip. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, “we can go to my dorm, if you’d like? Whatever you want.” In an act of comfort, you stupidly start caressing his length until he stands up. 

“Gotta confront the fucker.” 

Right when he raises his foot to take a step in the direction that his senses lead him to, Taehyung joins in on the mission. “Who are we confronting?” he asks casually with an arm over Soyeon’s shoulder, who is trying to suppress a grimace at the intervention. Jungkook glances at him and then your friend before sucking his teeth and rolling his eyes.

You grin brightly at the greeting and explain, “Someone's watching him. He’s going to find the stalker.”

“Might’ve been me, oops,” Taehyung raises his brows guiltily before slumping on a wooden chair adjacent to you, looking around the spacious area that makes him feel too loud. When he notices Soyeon still standing, he tells her, “come, sit,” and pats the seat next to him. She does so timidly. “Isn’t it so wonderful—”

“Why are you here?” Jungkook interrupts, but Taehyung continues, “—that we’re forming a friend group of our own? We’re all so familiar with each other.”

“Oh, Soyeon hasn’t met Jungkook yet.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you with a scrunch of his nose. “Sure about that?” Jungkook strides behind his chair and starts massaging his shoulders; a very harsh massage that has him holding back a wince. “Oh, Kook, that’s a bit rough. Tell me, is he like this in bed too?”

You gape at him in surprise, bashful because your lover doesn’t kiss and tell, and he doesn’t look too happy about it either.

“Tae…” Jungkook snarls.

“Well, is he, Soyeon?”

The library’s silence graces your table as everyone falls quiet, if you don’t count Taehyung’s groans at Jungkook’s bruising hold that is. Soyeon’s jaw drops and her eyes widen at the sudden switch in your gaze, searching for answers from her. “That’s not funny, Taehyung,” she breaks the silence with her blunt statement.

“Don’t mind him, baby, he has brain damage,” Jungkook spits and brings a hand up to Taehyung’s hair to yank it back. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he whispers in his ear.

Your features begin to soften from its hard expression until Taehyung smiles wickedly at you. “Oh yeah, it wasn’t sex, was it? It was a tongue battle-” His voice cuts off the moment Jungkook starts choking him with his elbow, and his gags fall on deaf ears. Soyeon tries to push him off, but you’re just blank because Jungkook isn’t denying it; it was as if he was expecting it, trying to stop him all along. 

The sudden interest in your friend, the constant interruptions, the hits…

“Soyeon?” you call quietly with welling up tears. “Did you kiss him?”

Your best friend doesn’t lie, and apparently neither does Taehyung. Does Jungkook lie? You’re conflicted between living in bliss, ignoring the dying man in front of you because your boyfriend might have kissed Soyeon, and facing reality by asking the hard questions.

Her hands are still tugging on his shirt to save Taehyung, but her persistence weakens when she looks at you: guilty and… exposed? “I didn’t know it was him,” she confesses. It is indirect, and doesn’t reveal much except that she kissed the one man she wasn’t supposed to. 

“When?”

“The party,” Taehyung wheezes as he struggles against Jungkook’s arm, his nails drawing blood on his skin. His face is red from the lack of oxygen but he isn’t worried about dying.

“Oh, he put you up to this, didn’t he?” Jungkook speaks through clenched teeth to Soyeon. “They’re setting me up, and who the fuck is watching me?!” 

You stand up slowly and close your textbook with a soft thud, packing your materials so graciously. Your hands are shaking, but the tears blurring your vision don’t matter to you. Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. You sling your bag over your shoulder and trudge to the exit, counting your steps to calm down. You ignore Jungkook asking you where you’re going, Taehyung gasping for breath, and Soyeon telling him to leave you alone. It’s all muffled and you’re too sad to care.

It’s a case of he said she said, but your heart is siding with your friends with how painfully it pounds against your chest. Your trust in Jungkook couldn’t have been that fragile, could it? Why did it break with one sentence? 

Heavy footfalls follow you beyond the exit, but you’re too distracted by trying to move your legs steadily to notice. It isn’t important enough to distract you from someone calling your name though, or the light weight of a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hm?” you say without looking up, frozen in your steps.

“A-Are you okay?” A smooth voice asks.

“I’m a bit sad,” your voice cracks and wavers from holding back a meltdown, “hurt.” You want to recognize the blurred image of the man standing next to you, so you blink and a tear sheds from each eye. “I told you to never talk to me again, Jimin.” You feel overwhelmed, and yet the memory of the blackmail has little impact on your mess of emotions, but it doesn't help you feel better either.

“Sorry,” he breathes, “I still don’t understand why, but you can do the talking for me. Wh-what happened?”

“Why do you ask? So you can use that against me too?” you scoff through the lump in your throat. Confusion washes his soft features, so you add, “maybe another handjob for it?” You shrug off his hand and continue your walk of shame. 

“I-I’ve never used anything against you, what are you talking about?” He’s chasing after you and it’s a bit of help in swaying your thoughts in a different direction, and your emotions towards anger and disbelief instead.

“Does a video ring a bell? The one you threatened to leak if I didn’t touch your…” You groan to yourself and quicken your pace towards your dorm. Maybe you could mope comfortably in there without the annoying presence of an arch enemy, who is feeding you more lies than you’re capable of consuming in one day. 

“What? I never— Listen, I deleted that video the second I received it. Whoever told you that was lying, please!”

It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying. His love was a lie too, apparently. Maybe the Jungkook you know is just one big fat lie who can’t seem to tell you the truth in any moment you’ve been with him. How many times do you need to hear from others and yourself that Jungkook is lying?

“I know,” you whimper and run off.

Once Taehyung catches his breath after coughing for a minute straight with a fresh bruise blossoming on his neck, he interrupts the hushed argument between Jungkook and Soyeon by asking, “Where’d she go?”

“I don’t know, but you’re going straight to hell once I fucking kill you for good,” Jungkook fumes with flushed cheeks. 

“If you die by murder, you go straight to Heaven. How do you not know this?” His voice is low from the assault and his throat aches, but he still attempts to lighten the mood. 

“I swear to fucking God, Taehyung—” Jungkook stops his threat when he sees Soyeon sneakily walking away. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Air,” Soyeon vaguely answers.

“Bullshit.” Jungkook tries to go after her, wanting to be the first to find your dorm so she doesn't say more about that night, but Taehyung holds onto his wrist to stop him. 

“She needs time—”

“Fuck off.”

When Jungkook begins to walk off after yanking off his hand, Taehyung immediately searches around the room and takes out a pen from a cup on the reception desk before jumping Jungkook from behind just as he was about to leave. They struggle against each other and start rolling around, but Taehyung is driven by adrenaline as he grounds himself on top of him. He holds him down with his legs and uncaps the pen to start writing on his forehead.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Everyone in the library peeks at the commotion due to Jungkook’s loud yell, but neither of them pay mind as he tries to move away from the pen.

“See if she takes you seriously with dick written on your forehead,” Taehyung chuckles before sprinting off with him hot on his tail. Jungkook is stronger, but Taehyung is much faster as he loses him pretty quickly by hiding in an occupied lecture hall. The professor looks at him questioningly but he thinks fast and breathlessly asks the students, “Is Jeon Jungkook here? The headmaster is looking for him.” Some people search for him, but when no one makes a peep, he escapes the room and Jungkook’s wrath.

Now to go to your dorm before Jungkook scrubs off the ink…

“I didn’t know his name,” Soyeon murmurs while fidgeting with her fingers. When she came in the room, you were muffling your sobs with your pillow and all she saw was your jerking shoulders. She tried to comfort you, to hug you, but you weren’t exactly being friendly, and the setting is pretty much the same except she’s sitting on your bed while you still cry. “I asked people what he looked like, but it was just a description of every guy in the room. He wasn’t around for them to point at, and so I thought maybe he didn’t come. Then this guy kisses me on this couch, feels guilty about it, and tells me his name. I-I didn’t know it was Jungkook. He left for you anyway…”

Her attempt at consolation is fruitless because it only makes you cry harder. She rubs your back soothingly before standing up. “I’ll check up on you later. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” You nod against your stained pillow. 

The moment she opens the door, Taehyung’s fist misses her head by an inch. “Oops,” he says before gently pushing her aside by her shoulder and entering. His eyes fall on your fetal position first thing and he pouts at you. “Aw, baby—”

“She doesn’t want to talk right now.”

“I’m good company,” he dismisses her with a flick of his wrist, “you can go.”

She rolls her eyes before shutting the door, and it’s only you and him now. Your hiccups fill the room as he sadly watches you, a quiet sigh leaving his mouth. “I tried to tell you. Well, I tried to get him to tell you.”

“Y-You said,” you snivel against the sheet, “th-that he was whipped for me.”

I said that to get you to open up. Even in his head it sounds cruel, so he rethinks his response with a grimace. “Jungkook told me he liked you.” Maybe shifting the blame wasn’t exactly much better, especially since he told him that after the claim, but you have enough on your plate.

“H-He told me he loved me,” you hiccup, releasing your death grip on the poor pillow. It’s a mask rather than a silencer now. Taehyung widens his eyes to himself and purses his lips. He takes Soyeon’s former seat and turns you on your back. His heart sinks a little when he sees your face: red nose, heavy lids, bloodshot eyes and quivering lips with messy hair. You look really pretty to him right now. “He lies so much. H-He even made me give Jimin a handjob.”

“Made you?” he repeats with his thumb drawing circular patterns on your collarbone. 

You nod. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about it. It was horrible.”

His brows furrow at your tone. “That’s so fucked up... Man, you need to avoid him.”

“Jimin?”

“Jungkook. That’s too twisted, even for him. You’re an angel…” his palm reaches for your cheek and his thumb continues its soothing motions. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thank you,” you mouth and fresh tears brim as you try to swallow. It feels like you’re sick all over again, except there’s no misunderstanding to clear this time. He wipes a stray teardrop and smiles down at you; it’s a relaxing gesture. You close your eyes and hold onto his wrist, snuggling into his warm hand.

“I sound really cheesy, don’t I?” he chuckles. “Can’t lie, wish I had someone call me an angel after I caught my ex cheating on me.”

An involuntary giggle erupts from your mouth at his joke. “You’re an angel, Taehyung. An angel in disguise.” You peek at him before fluttering your eyes shut again. A pursed smile graces his lips, and he’s convinced he isn’t interested in you romantically, that it was just an invisible force drawing him closer to you, that he wasn’t the one aiming for your lips until a pound on the door resounds in the room.

You flinch away from his hand and he pulls back instantly; both of your heads shoot to the source of the noise. 

“Open up!” Jungkook yells and continues fisting the door. “Open the fucking door!” Taehyung holds a finger against his lips, signalling you to stay silent until he leaves. “I want to talk. Open the door… please.” Neither of you say anything.

“Fine,” he agrees, “don’t talk. I’ll talk, but at least give me a sign that you’re here.” Before Taehyung can stop you, you rush to the door and knock once. You hear him slide down the door, presumably leaning his back against it and sitting on the floor. “Okay. I’m sor— They were lying—” you slam your fist against the door in denial. “Okay! But they weren’t telling the whole truth back there. I was um… on drugs. I was really fucking high, okay?”

“Yet your high-self still managed to yell at me! Clearly you weren’t high out of your mind,” you snap menacingly. He flinches at your sudden shut-down; he’s never heard you yell at him before, nor has he ever been the victim of your anger. It makes his heart drop.

“That was like, three hours after I got high! I was practically sober, plus, you weren’t talking to me that day!”

“I had lost my voice! I didn’t want you to get sick—"

“I DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW THAT!” 

He gulps at your silence and inhales a deep breath to calm down. He hears you sniffle on the other side. “I-I didn’t know that. You wouldn’t kiss me, wouldn’t talk to me, and I didn’t know why. I thought you stopped loving me and… that really upset me.” He sighs to himself because he’s never opened up so honestly and it’s difficult, but he doesn’t exactly have a choice. It just feels so embarrassing.

Taehyung opens the window of your dorm and climbs out. You don’t see or hear it happen, too invested in your argument to even remember his existence. “Do you remember what I told you the night we did it for the first time?”

His face scrunches as he tries to replay the events beside the sex. The corner of his lip tugs upwards when he recalls you calling him a slut, but he’s still clueless as to why you’re bringing it up. You don’t leave him in the dark for long. “I told you I wouldn’t forgive you a second time.” He gnaws on his lip as his palms feel clammy with nervous sweat. 

“W-We weren’t dating then,” he tries to justify. “I didn’t need forgiveness then. You’re so unfair!” He stands up and knocks with his fist again. “Let’s talk it out face to face, I’ll explain everything. You’re putting me at a disadvantage! Don’t you want clarity? Don’t you want this to work out?!” He starts chanting your name when you don’t answer. “I will break down this fucking door if you don’t open it,” he doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as he usually does when threatening; he sounds more like he’s a second away from breaking down himself. “No, no… please. I-I’ll kiss another girl if you break up with me! You don’t want that, right? So just open the door.” 

His tough façade crumbles the longer you ignore him, and he can’t believe the heavy weight he feels all over his body wants to leave in the form of tears. It stings in his eyes but he doesn’t dare let them fall. “You’re so fucking cruel!” He twists the door handle violently; desperately. A dry sob escapes him as he kicks the door one last time. “Oh God, oh God…” he tries to breathe but it doesn’t enter his lungs. It’s like being choked with a noose as he gasps and a tear runs down his cheek. His wheezes become so loud that you start hearing them and grow concerned.

You consider the possibility that it’s one of his tactics, trying to manipulate you, but you open the door anyway. It’s a slight crack and you barely get a look at him before he pushes it open completely and forces his way in. He sits on your bed and his shoulders hunch, breaths still shallow. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t like her, never did, I only— I was mad, and I couldn’t go through with it, and I’ve never shown you affection b-because I’ve only ever received it from you—” you hush his rambling with a hug, but he continues with his head against your stomach anyway, “I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m a fucking mess and I understand why you wouldn’t want to be with me, but please don’t leave me. I’ll do my homework, I’ll stop being mean, I won’t even talk if you don’t want me to, but please don’t stop talking to me.”

“Jungkook…” you trail in shock. “I’m here. Take a deep breath.” When he tries, it’s so shaky that it makes you tear up for the umpteenth time. You’re a mess with him. “In and out, love, in and out.” You would do it with him like an instructor, but it’s not possible when he’s squeezing your waist so tightly. It takes a few minutes for him to relax his grip and he looks up at you pitifully. “It’s okay,” you assure and pet his hair, “you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most,” he exhales. “I mean… I realized that night, that I only want to be with…”

“I get it,” you whisper to comfort him, knowing he has struggles with expressing himself, but he doesn’t stop. He wants to get it off his chest, and he quietly tells you, “I kissed another girl when I wanted to make you jealous, and then another to forget. I don’t want to do that, I mean I only want to kiss… you.”

You initiate it first by leaning down to peck his lips, and you don’t pull away too far. You peck him again, and then start kissing him. He’s never been this slow with you before, but the panic attack must have drained him. It’s the way that he doesn’t immediately turn it heated with the intent of taking it to the third base that warms your heart. He’s hesitant and taking his time, mindful of your reactions because you’re in control for once. You’re aware of how vulnerable he is being with you, and he conveys that with the gentle press of his lips. 

He whimpers into the kiss, and it’s so quiet and mournful that you lean back but he chases after you. He doesn’t want to stop like you’d assumed, so you place your knees on either side of him and hover over his thighs. Even his hands are hesitant as he lightly sits you down on his lap by pulling your waist. You smile against him and with his submission, you swipe your tongue across his lip. He opens for you. You roll your tongue around his, and he eventually begins to suck on yours. There’s a pit in your stomach that confuses you; is it arousal? Flattery? You feel so special because you know he hasn’t been like this with anyone else; so powerless and passive.

It’s passionate. You inch your body a little closer to him and he grunts when you brush against his crotch before settling down. This isn’t about sexual needs, and you don’t treat it as such but your body has a mind of its own with its constant shuffling that turns him on. He doesn’t want to feel that way, but his hips have a subtle way of thrusting beneath you. His hums rumble and you kiss him harder, losing all your senses except for the warmth of his skin. You don’t notice him controlling the movement of your hips because he’s taking it slow, and you don’t need to know why he’s quietly moaning into you.

At least no one’s watching him now. 

You pull back in surprise when he groans loudly, and you know he’s back to himself as his actions grow rough. You’re practically jumping when he grinds on you with his spit all over your mouth because of his explorative tongue. From past experience, you’ve figured out that Jungkook is more honest when he’s in the heat of the moment, so you inquire against his lips, “Why did you lie to me about Jimin?”

“That fucking freak,” he growls, “I needed a reason to get you to hate him. He didn’t stop you when it happened, did he?” 

Still manipulative. “Will you do the same with Taehyung?”

“No, I,” his thrusts slow down, “I’m gonna, err…” He looks at you for help.

“You’re gonna be a good boy and talk things out with him, right?”

“Right,” he breathes, “talk.” He slams his lips against yours again, and it’s not long before he sighs at his climax with your cooperation. There’s a small patch growing on his pants through his underwear, and he cusses when he notices it. He pecks you one last time before hugging you and laying on the bed, cuddling you like a blanket. “Do you forgive me?” 

You rest your head on his chest and feel his pulse to contemplate. He brings a hand up to your hair and starts running his fingers through it, unbothered by your lack of answer. “I’ll make it up to you,” he says. “Do you…” he clears his throat, “do you maybe want to have dinner with me?”

“Like a date?” you tease with a grin.

“Yes.”

“There’s my answer,” you lift your head to wink up at him. “But if you test me again, I’ll break your heart just as you did mine. Don’t worry though,” you whisper, “I’ll never leave you.”

[lady-byleth]

Sooooo, Shepard had a clone right? Knowing how much Cerberus likes to go above and beyond, there's a high chance that there's more than one. And the one we meet was comatose until needed, which she never was...so what if there's a whole bunch of clones in various stages of growth that just got frozen after Shepard went rogue

And after the war Miranda decides to see if she can find the rest and uncovers a whole storage of clones. Most of them are dead, either due to complications during development or because of cryo getting interrupted during the war

But one is still alive and asleep, so Miranda tells Shepard, who has only recently been released from the hospital, and takes her there so she can decide what to do with the clone herself.

Of course Garrus is there too cuz he's not letting Shepard out of sight until he's 100% sure she's not gonna get herself blown up again

Tali, Liara, Joker and EDI obviously can't be dissuade from joining either - EDI makes a compelling argument about having to test her new body that is actually complete bullshit, she's just curious - and James and Cortez just tag along because everyone else is going and it's about clones and the have Experience.

Javik comes too, cuz he's bored and Liara made vague comments about there maybe being Cerberus agents to fight, and Kaidan has a Bad Feeling about all these knuckleheads being in one room together so he comes along to keep the peace. That's a lie actually, he's just happy to be here.

Samara somehow shows up too, though no one actually contacted her cuz no one knew how. She just heard "Shepard" and "Cerberus" and decided "that could be trouble" and here she is

Grunt would have loved to go but Wrex tells him if he can't go then Grunt can't either cuz that would be unfair.

Jack has the kids to take care of and Jacob has his kid to take care of, so they're not able to come but promise help should there be some Cerberus agents that need blowing up.

Zaeed just sends a photo of himself at the pool titled "I'm fucking retired".

So Miranda ends up having to fly a huge group of people to that lab she found, which she grumbles about but she's not fooling anyone anymore.

As it turns out the facility is completely abandoned and powered down, except for the emergency power in the lab that's supposed to keep the clones alive. They check the whole place before they descend into the basement, looking for the one pod still active that Miranda found

They move past a bunch of pods with clones ranging from young girls to women the same age as Shepard and it's both fascinating and horrifying at the same time.

Shepard for her part seems to take it pretty well though she does stick close to Garrus who slings an arm around her shoulders to steady her. Tali links arms with her and Shepard gives her a small smile.

The active pod is in the far back and, at first glance, looks empty. Liara immediately grabs the data pad sitting beside it and flips through the many charts and notes on it, frowning in thought.

She mumbles something about "no growth hormones administered", gasps a small "oh" and holds the pad out a little so Miranda can read along with her as EDI starts typing on the console attached to the pod itself

"Oh!" she says after a moment, as if to echo Liara. Joker steps up next to her, trying to make sense of what she's looking at.

"What? How evil is it gonna be?"

EDI doesn't answer but turns to Shepard, a strange sparkle in her eyes that wasn't there when she first got a body. She looks both delighted and amazed. "Shall I open it?"

Shepard looks at the pod, worries her lower lip for a moment. Garrus squeezes her gently, Tali hugs her arm closer. The rest of their group closes rank around her, steadying her with their presence.

They're all here for her, no matter what. So she nods.

"Do it."

There's a low hissing sound and a blast of cold air, fog rolls out of the pod as the lid slides open slowly. For some reason Miranda and Liara look almost giddy, though Liara has to keep pushing Javik's hand down because he keeps trying to aim his gun.

James is standing on his tip toes to see into the pod before its even fully open and almost falls over when a very unexpected sound suddenly echoes through the room.

It's a crying voice. A baby's crying voice.

Samara immediately bolts forward, the instincts of a mother taking over, and she bends down into the pod and emerges with what's indeed a baby.

"Holy shit!" James looks flabbergasted.

"Holy shit..." Cortez doesn't look any better.

"Holy shit, indeed!" Somehow Kasumi is here too.

Samara rocks the little girl in her arms, scrutinizes her closely and smiles.

"Yes, I feel a strong resemblance to you," she says, gracefully moving to a completely stunned Shepard.

If you've never seen a galactic hero speechless, suddenly confront them with a baby clone of themself and that should do the trick.

The baby of course doesn't know that, she's just screaming, probably cold and scared and disoriented. She's squirming in Samara's arms, oblivious to Liara, Miranda, Tali, Kaidan and - surprisingly - EDI who are crowding around Samara to catch a glimpse, cooing already

Samara doesn't even try calming the little girl down, she has other ideas. Before Shepard can refuse Samara deposits the baby into her arms, adjusts her grip and then steps back, an almost mischievous tilt to her serene smile.

The baby calms immediately, big eyes the same color as Shepard's blinking up at a face that will he hers one day.

Shepard is motionless, looking like someone just slapped her with a frying pan...until the baby suddenly starts squealing in delight.

The unease melts from Shepard's face, a slightly confused but warm smile replacing it, and she gently shifts the baby closer to her chest, speaking to her quietly.

Little feet kick with delight, small hands reach out to grab at her face, and careful, scarred fingers brush plump baby cheeks and Samara watches with obvious satisfaction as her friends crowd around Shepard to continue cooing at the little girl now laughing happily

Shepard doesn't see it, focused on the baby as she is, but James just bursts into tears at the adorable picture while Cortez tries to console him without looking away. .

Joker is sniffing a little bit too but instead of staying in the background he loudly says "brittle bones coming through" and pushes to the front of the group. The baby immediately steals his cap. He is delighted. EDI is delighted that he is delighted.

Javik pretends very hard not to be mesmerized by the first human baby he's ever seen. He's failing miserably, much to Kaidan's amusement.

Garrus sticks to the sidelines, arms crossed over his chest, a thoughtful expression on his face. He remembers London, the half joking half serious conversation about adopting kids after the war is finished.

He'd shelved the thought in favor of focusing on recuperating, fixing what the war had destroyed, and building up Shepard who had to wrestle with severe injuries, PTSD and survivor's guilt without the distraction of a galactic war to keep her from realizing how much she was suffering.

But...it had been months, life was slowly returning to some semblance of normalcy - as much as was possible after the heavy losses - and Shepard was getting better. Therapy was going well. She would never be fully free of what she'd been through, but she was determined to get better and Hackett had arranged for the best help in the galaxy.

She was getting better. And restless. She had started spending more time with the orphans, playing with them, teaching them.

She'd always loved children. And Garrus had been very serious about starting a family with her, not so much about the cross species babies that biologically wouldn't happen.

But here was a baby that Shepard already had a connection with, a baby that she obviously already adored. He hadn't seen her smile like that in a long time. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Yes. This could be good.

He feels Samara sidle up beside him, smiling knowingly. "You should suggest it," she says.

Garrus nods, shoots her a smile. "Yeah, I think I will."

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 26 part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes! 

I’m Coming Up So You Better Get This Party Started

The Lans arrive just in time to see Cousin Jin Zixun hassling Su She, and they wonder how he has the fucking nerve to come to a party that they are also invited to. 

Su she was invited by his new best friend Jin Guangyao, who deploys a full-on charm attack, wrapping Su She permanently around his little finger. 

Smoother than the Lanling weather that’s how he holds himself together Watch out, he’ll charm you 

Jin Guangyao grew up with women who earned their living by being charming, pleasant, and hiding their true thoughts from their clients, and he appears to have mastered this useful skill set. With Su She, he exudes confidence and authority, allowing the lesser man to bask in his attention.

With Zewu Jun he deploys helplessness and embarrassment, effectively controlling a man with much greater power than his own.

Lan Xichen confronts him about Su She's presence, and Jin Guangyao pretends he didn't know that Su She was ex-Lan. This seems super unlikely, given that JGY is good at collecting information that he can use to fuck with people, and also that he sheltered Lan Xichen from the Wens directly after Su She betrayed him.

Lan Xichen seems like he doesn't believe what JGY is telling him but then he decides to drop it, passive-aggressively saying that since JGY is uninformed, he's not guilty. Lan Xichen is actually assuming a lot here about his right to tell Jin Guangyao who to invite and who to shun, but JGY doesn't push back. Lying is so much simpler.

(more behind the cut!)

Su She wins for most unintentionally sarcastic-seeming toasting expression.

Jiang Cheng, Party Animal

Jiang Cheng arrives at the party, bringing his Jiang retinue and his bad temper. He super obviously casts around to try to find Wei Wuxian, who already told him he probably wasn't coming to the party.

Jiang Cheng is that guy who only comes to a party because the girl he likes said she was thinking about going, and then he spends the whole party saying "hey have you seen Mei Lin? She said she was going to be here but I don't see her."

Jin Guangyao formally congratulates Jiang Cheng on the Jiang clan's success in the hunt, and Jin Guangshan toasts him. As always, Jiang Cheng reacts to praise from authority figures like it's rain in the desert, smiling from ear to ear. He says that the Jiang Clan will donate the prey from the hunt to the other gentry clans. ...what?

Are we seriously saying that when these dudes go night hunting it's not just to remove dangerous bad stuff, it's for profit? 

Like, do they eat monsters? Wear their fur? Make leather from their skin? Carve jewelry from their claws? Is Jiang Cheng wearing a purple monster's skin right now? (There will be an art prompt at the end of this post)

Meanwhile, check out the way Nie Huaisang is looking at Jiang Cheng, wow.

Forecast: Hazing

Having gotten the single pleasant part of the banquet over with, it's time for the Jins to pick on the Lans. Cousin Jin Zixun goads Lan Xichen into taking a drink with him, knowing that this is (mostly) against Lan rules. Jin Guangyao tries to stop him by saying, hilariously, that it's bad to drink and fly on a sword, but CJZX waves this away and keeps pushing, saying that if Lan Xichen won't drink, it's an insult to him.

A random cultivator who is definitely on the Jin payroll backs him up, saying that teetotaling is for losers, and Captain Blowhard boisterously agrees. Loudly agreeing with powerful people is the Yao clan's signature martial arts skill.

Jin Guangyao looks embarrassed and helpless, which is, as mentioned before, his own signature skill. But he's just playing his own part in this piece of theater; everything happening at this party (so far) is happening for the benefit of the Jin Clan. Cousin Jin Zixun is an ass, but he's not actually a loose cannon, and Jin Guangshan is clearly enjoying the Lans' discomfort.

Why? This entire party, the hunt, everything he's done since the end of the Sunshot campaign, has been designed to increase and consolidate his power. His main goal is to get the Yin Tiger seal, but reducing the status of the Lans is also a good move for him. The Lans have been the strongest opponents to the use of resentful energy, and worked the hardest to conceal and contain the Yin iron in the past. If he wants to use resentful energy as part of his own cultivation, he needs them to chill. 

So this is a bit of a test; will they comply with the will of the larger group in order to avoid conflict, or will they refuse, which will allow him to label them as iconoclastic weirdos?. 

Lan Xichen takes a long look at his brother, who is expressing all sorts of emotions while keeping his face very very still. 

At a guess, he is thinking that this entire party is bullshit, that his brother's willingness to play along with these assholes is bullshit, that being viciously beaten for having a single drink in his life was bullshit, that Wei Wuxian not being here right now is bullshit.

Lan Xichen picks the "go along, get along" path, having his drink and using his magic skill of anti-intoxication to neutralize it, as he'd done previously when drinking with Wei Wuxian. 

Cousin Jin Zixun picks on Lan Wangji next, and since he cannot magically or even non-magically tolerate alcohol, there is a real risk to his reputation if he drinks. But Lan Wangji breaks rules when he feels like it, not when people tell him to. He pointedly ignores the offered drink while Lan Xichen looks worried. 

The rest of the party guests have a wide variety of reactions, none of them helpful, to these shenanigans. Jin Guanshan's son and heir watches with calm interest as the power dynamics play out.

All of this is actually not great strategy for the Jins. The Lans don't play little social games to gain power, because all that time they spend not drinking, not gossiping, and not doing other stuff? Is spent cultivating and practicing sword and musical battle forms. The Lan Bros are overwhelmingly powerful as individuals, and embarrassing them won't change that.

It's moot, ultimately, because Wei Wuxian chooses this moment to arrive.

Darkness Visible

Wei Wuxian actually made a big impressive stair-climbing entrance to Jinlintai a few minutes ago, with camera work echoing Lan Wangji's stair climb at the Wen Indoctrination Bureau from several episodes back. 

But nobody was around to see that, other than us, and when he appears at the party it's in stealth mode; he steps into the frame from out of nowhere, and drinks Lan Wangji's unwanted drink.

Lan Wangji responds by looking at him like this for the next several minutes.

Wei Wuxian doesn't have time for their usual sport of Extreme Gazing, though; he came for a reason, which is to find and rescue Wen Ning. He gets right to it, asking Cousin Jin Zixun where he's keeping him.

Jiang Cheng, who is the king of worrying about the wrong fucking thing, jumps up to try to stop Wei Wuxian from talking. Like, seriously, he's ok with the Jins trying to take his clan's special extreme weapon, but he's not ok with his head disciple being rude in order to fulfill a whopper of a life debt--Jiang Cheng's life debt, in particular--or being rude in order to preserve the clan's independence.

Jin Guangshan decides this is a good moment to bring up the Yin tiger amulet. Wei Wuxian pushes back, hard, pointing out exactly what Jin Guangshan is doing. He says he's setting himself up to be a new Wen Ruohan. 

Lan Wangji pays close attention to Wei Wuxian's reasoning here, and so does Nie Mingjue, unless he’s just trying to mask his confusion. 

Jiang Cheng is too busy being horrified to listen, apparently. Or he just doesn’t agree, preferring to be reduced to a secondary authority, rather than defy a primary authority.

Wei Wuxian is, of course, all about independence; he was literally born to be a rogue cultivator, despite being dubbed “patriarch” himself, not long after this. 

Let’s Go Crazy Let’s Get Nuts

Wei Wuxian gets tired of the scene and decides to lose his temper. He makes a show of being enraged, and he genuinely is angry, but I don't think he's out of control, this time.  

He acts like he's out of control in order to scare everyone, but he makes his points very clearly, reminding everyone that he has power they don't have, that he's good at killing, that he's not patient, and that his teeth are nicer than everybody else’s. 

Everybody in the room freaks out to one degree or another--except Jin Guangshan, who is apparently too pissed off to be scared.

It's hilarious that Jin Guangshan thought he was going to get Wei Wuxian to hand the Yin Tiger amulet over by creating a complex system of social pressure against him. Wei Wuxian's favorite way of responding to social pressure is to escalate it into violence, regardless of the consequences; he's been doing that at least since Gusu Summer School and probably a lot longer. Jin Guangshan should know this, given how many beatings his son has taken from Wei Wuxian over the years.

Wei Wuxian does a fantastically sexy scary, theatrical countdown, and Cousin Jin Zixun caves in and gives him the information he wants. It's worth noticing that even under threat of death, CJZX doesn't comply until he visually checks in with his clan leader. He’s genuinely a bad person, yes, but he’s a loyal soldier, which is what most of these clans value most. 

As soon as he gets what he wants, Wei Wuxian is perfectly, smugly, in control of himself again. Everyone in the room is still stunned and afraid, so Jin Guangshan has achieved that much, at least; nobody likes Wei Wuxian having the Yin tiger seal now, including Jiang Cheng. 

As he leaves, Wei Wuxian has one of those conversations with Lan Wangji in which everything is said in glances in the course of a couple of seconds. 

WWX: I love you, I have to leave you; I've got some shit to take care of and I won't be coming back to all of this. 

LWJ: I love you; I'm probably going to have to fight you; your funeral is going to be so upsetting

Wei Wuxian turns away from everyone, and you can see the weight settling on his shoulders, as he contemplates the choices he just made and the choices that are still ahead of him. 

Jin Guangshan, for the first and only time, loses his temper in front of everybody, literally flipping a table because he's so mad about what just happened. 

Art prompt: Jiang Cheng wearing an outfit made of a Chinese mythical creature. Bonus points if it’s a qilin. Bonus bonus points if Zhang Qiling (from DMBJ/Lost Tomb franchise) is standing next to him looking grumpy while Jiang Cheng wears an outfit made from a qilin. 

Soundtrack: Get This Party Started by Pink, Charm Attack by Leona Naess, Let’s Go Crazy by Prince. 

[fireladybuckley]

It Isn’t in my Blood

Fandom: 9-1-1 Prompt:  Inspired by @kitkatpancakestack‘s “what if Buck finds the pamphlet“ post Pairing: Implied future Buddie - Evan Buckley (Buck) x Eddie Diaz Word Count: 2,330 Summary:    SPOILERS - A 5x01 missing scene - Buck finds the pamphlet on anxiety and panic attacks given to him by the cardiologist at the hospital and encourages Eddie to tell him what happened. Eddie breaks down and admits that maybe not everything is okay.

Beta’d by @firemedicdiaz​ Thank you babe <3

Read it on Ao3

             “I’ll just be a minute, you staying here?”  Eddie asked, hopping out of the truck and looking over at Buck.

              “Sure, sounds good,” Buck said, yawning.  Eddie nodded and closed the door, hurrying up the sidewalk as Buck settled back in his seat.  It had been such a long, chaotic shift and Buck was exhausted; Eddie just had to drop off a form at Christopher’s school and then they were going for breakfast.  Buck figured he had time for a short nap and shut his eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come.

              After a while it became apparent that Eddie was going to be longer than he’d said, and Buck was getting restless.  He grew bored quite easily of late, so he began poking around Eddie’s truck - changing the radio station, fiddling with the air freshener.  Absently, Buck hit the button on the dashboard that opened the glove box in front of him and looked down into it, wondering if there were any travel brochures left in there from a previous road trip that he could look at.   Instead, he pulled out a very different kind of pamphlet that looked like it had been shoved in carelessly and as he read the front, his eyebrows contracted with a small frown.

              Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks - Recognize the Signs and Symptoms

              Underneath the pamphlet were a couple of folded sheets of paper.  Upon quick inspection, Buck saw that they were discharge papers from the hospital dated a few days earlier with Eddie’s name in the patient field.

              Buck’s heart squeezed painfully as he stared at the slightly crumpled papers and then back at the pamphlet, realizing what it must all mean.  Buck had been startled earlier in the shift when that doctor had called out to Eddie, but Eddie had been very resistant to talking about his trip to the hospital.  Buck had dropped it for the time being as they had been chaotically busy the entire shift, but he had always intended to grill Eddie about it later.  Now, he suddenly understood what must have happened.  He knew from experience how scary panic attacks could be, how they could feel like a heart attack, especially if a person had never had one before.  

              He remembered how uncomfortable Eddie had looked when Buck had tried to confront him.  Buck knew how much Eddie relied on everyone thinking he was this stoic, unmoving rock, because it allowed him to hide his feelings and keep everything bottled up.  Buck was well aware that he himself and Bobby were the only two people that Eddie ever opened up to, and it made Buck’s heart hurt as he considered how shaken up Eddie must have been by the whole incident to be so resistant to telling him about it.

              Buck sighed, wishing he had known, thinking about how he could try to help Eddie as he skimmed the pamphlet.  He wanted to help, hating the idea that Eddie could be going through this alone.  He distinctly remembered how Eddie had tried to drag Buck out of his horrible depression and anxiety after the fire truck had crushed his leg and he wanted to be there for Eddie in turn.  Buck knew that Eddie had Ana, but if Buck was right about their relationship, he suspected that Eddie would be uncomfortable talking to her about his emotions.  He’d always had the feeling that while Eddie clearly liked Ana and they got along well, their relationship wasn’t particularly deep and Buck knew that Eddie had to really trust someone before he would open up.

              Lost in his thoughts, Buck was still looking at the pamphlet in one hand, the discharge papers held loosely in the other, when Eddie returned.

              “Alright, that’s all done, let’s go t-- Buck, what the hell?”

              Buck jumped as the driver’s door opened and Eddie swung himself inside, only to freeze when he saw what Buck was holding and reading through.  Buck started to stammer as Eddie snatched the papers and pamphlet out of his hands and threw them back into the glove box, snapping it shut and staring straight ahead, his chest rising and falling quickly, his jaw set.

              “Eddie, I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to snoop, I just found that in the glove box and I couldn’t help looking at it…”

              “It’s fine.  It’s nothing.”  Eddie’s voice was clipped, and Buck could tell he felt vulnerable and was not pleased about it.  

              “I mean, it’s not nothing,” Buck replied cautiously in a coaxing tone.  He hadn’t been planning on talking to Eddie about this before breakfast, but then there was no time like the present.    “Is this why you were in the hospital the other day?”

              Eddie shot him an annoyed look, because it was obvious that Buck had seen the discharge papers so the question was redundant, but then he sighed and nodded.

              “Yeah.  I’m fine though.”

              “Eddie… you’ve been through so much.  There’s no shame in having a panic attack--” Buck began, but Eddie started the truck and cut through his words sharply.

              “I don’t panic.”

              Buck frowned as Eddie pulled away from the curb and began to drive without saying another word.  Deciding to give him some space for a few so he could collect his thoughts, Buck stayed silent as they moved through the streets.   To his surprise, Eddie pulled up in front of Buck’s apartment building and parked, still looking straight ahead.

              “I… thought we were going for breakfast?”  Buck asked slowly, not sure what to expect.  Eddie seemed to steel himself, then glanced towards the building and shut off the truck.

              “I know you’re not going to let this go, and I don’t want to do it in public.  Let’s go up to your loft.”  

              Eddie’s voice was gruff, but Buck was grimly pleased that he wasn’t resisting.  Buck knew that Eddie knew Buck would not let this slide, would not let it rest until he was sure that Eddie was okay.  Taking his lead, Buck agreed and hopped out of the truck, following Eddie up to his building and then leading the way into his apartment.

              “Let’s get this over with,” Eddie said in a resigned voice as he moved into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, Buck pulling himself up and sitting on the counter across from him.  “What do you want to know?”

              “What happened?” Buck asked simply.  “I know you went to the hospital, you were seen by a cardiologist, and now you have a pamphlet on panic attacks.  What actually happened?”

              Eddie gnawed the inside of his lip, still refusing to look at Buck as he mulled over what to say.  He was staring at the lower part of the counter in front of him, Buck’s shoe dangling in his line of sight, though he wasn’t seeing much.  All he could see in his mind was that damn suit store, the feeling of the tightness in his chest making him feel claustrophobic and deeply uncomfortable.

              “I don’t know.  We were trying on suits, and then I just… collapsed.  I thought I was having a heart attack,” Eddie summarized it as succinctly as he could, but he knew it wasn’t going to be enough for Buck.

              “Okay, but what triggered that?” Buck asked, his voice gently prodding.  “Did something upset you, or…?”

              Eddie shifted uncomfortably, and Buck’s lips curled in a small, sad smile.  

              “Eddie, it’s just me.  You can talk to me.  You know you can trust me.  Please tell me what happened.”

              For a brief moment, Eddie lifted his eyes and met Buck’s gaze.  Buck’s expression was earnest, concerned, and Eddie knew he was right.  If there was anyone in this world he could trust, it was Buck.  Still, he hated talking about his emotions, especially ones he felt like he couldn’t control.  And yet, he felt like if he didn’t share it with someone he may explode because he was starting to seriously wonder what was going on in his brain.

              “I… you know I’m not good at this,” Eddie muttered, and Buck nodded.

              “I know, but… you were there for me when everything with my parents was going on.  You told me it was okay to feel what I was feeling, and to share it.  I want that for you, too,”  Buck told him gently, and Eddie sighed.  He felt like a hypocrite; he had told Buck those things, and he had meant it.  But for some reason when it came to himself, he had different rules.

              “The last time Chris and I wore suits was at Shannon’s funeral,” Eddie said, averting his gaze once more as he began to speak.  “I guess that was already putting me on edge.  I couldn’t stop thinking about her death and everything that had happened right before she died.  I just wanted to get out of there.”

              Eddie paused but Buck didn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt.  Buck had a feeling that if Eddie stopped talking he wouldn’t start again so he waited patiently, keeping his mouth shut.

              “I think Chris was feeling it, too, but I was too distracted to notice.  And then… then the sales guy called Ana Chris’s mom.”

              Buck tilted his head to the side, looking over at Eddie, slightly confused.  Eddie and Ana had been together for nearly six months, it was only natural that at some point she would be mistaken for Chris’s mom.  But Eddie seemed shaken and Buck wasn’t sure he was going to continue.

              “What happened then?” Buck asked quietly, trying to gently prompt Eddie to speak again without spooking him.  Eddie had gotten a somewhat haunted look in his eyes and Buck could tell he was getting upset.  He was tempted to tell Eddie to stop, not wanting him to be distraught, but he sensed Eddie really needed to get it out there, so Buck would do everything he could to coax it out.

              “I- I genuinely don’t know,” Eddie said, shaking his head.  “Hearing that, it just… it intensified my thoughts about Shannon, and thinking of Ana as Chris’s mom is just - just so far beyond where we are in our relationship, and I- I…”

              Eddie was starting to get visibly upset and Buck slipped off the counter, moving over to stand beside him in case he needed support.

              “It made me realize that m-maybe I don’t want-- maybe things aren’t going so great, or something.  I don’t know.”

              “And then?” Buck prompted gently, feeling his heart break as Eddie glanced at him, clearly upset.

              “And then… I don’t know.  I don’t panic,” Eddie said stubbornly, though as he thought back to what had happened, he let out a long, unhappy sigh.  “But… I guess I panicked.  I don’t know.  I felt overwhelmed, and my chest got tight and I couldn’t breathe… I got really dizzy and fell over, I thought I was having a heart attack.”

              “Panic attacks can be really scary,” Buck told him, trying to reassure him.  “They can definitely feel like heart attacks.”

              “I don’t panic,” Eddie repeated, scowling at the floor.  “I never panic.  Not in the military, not when Shannon died, not when you nearly died several times…”

              “Eddie, you’ve been through a lot,” Buck reasoned, trying to brush off the last part of the sentence, as though it wasn’t a big deal to him that his near-death experiences were one of the things Eddie considered most upsetting.  “Do you think the shooting could be part of this?  Or is it just your relationship?”

              Eddie shifted uncomfortably again, not responding, and as Buck watched him, he saw tears start to pool in Eddie’s eyes, despite Eddie continually refusing to make eye contact.  

              “Are you okay?” Buck asked quietly, reaching out and touching him, gripping Eddie’s forearm lightly in a gesture of support.   This one little touch seemed to have caused him to come undone, however, and Buck saw his expression contort, his lips pressed together tightly as he tried and failed to stop himself crying.

              “No,” Eddie finally blurted out, seemingly completely against his will.  “No, I’m not okay.”

              Buck’s heart broke and he immediately reached out to embrace Eddie, giving him a chance to pull away if he wanted.  When he didn’t, Buck wrapped his arms around him and held him as Eddie choked into his shoulder, trying desperately to stop himself from outright sobbing.  It was rare that Buck had seen Eddie cry - he hadn’t seen it since Shannon’s death - and Buck wished he could take Eddie’s pain away, wished he could make the world right for him again.  

              After a few moments Eddie squirmed in his arms and Buck got the message that he was uncomfortable so he pulled away, but he didn’t go far.  Eddie seemed determined to not meet his gaze, furiously wiping at his eyes, and Buck gently rubbed his back, sensing that he really wanted comfort but was trying to stop himself from allowing it.  They stood like that for a while, until Eddie’s attempts at stopping his tears dissolved and he took a shaky breath, letting them slip down his cheeks as he pulled himself together.

              “It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.  You’re going to get through this,” Buck told him, his hand stilling in the middle of Eddie’s back.  “And I’m gonna help you get through it, if that’s what you want.”

              Eddie swallowed, sniffing, as he listened to Buck speak.  He’d always gone through things alone.  He’d always thought that was the best way to do it.  But in that moment, standing there, knowing he had Buck’s full love and support behind him, Eddie started to wonder if maybe having Buck at his side would be a much better option than going it alone.   Eddie nodded slowly, glancing at Buck for a moment before looking away, nodding again.

              “Yeah,” Eddie took a shaky breath and looked over at Buck, feeling the tiniest flicker of hope in his heart.  “That’s what I want.”

-----------

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[supremeinlilac]

Into the light (I'll hold you)

Pairing: Coven!Cordelia Goode x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Slow dancing in the greenhouse.

Word Count: 2557

Warnings: Self doubt, angst.

A/n: Canon divergent, H*nk doesn't exist and Delia's acid attack never happened, although she has still had the Sight previously. Was saving this fic but fuck it, I'm posting it now😌

Halloween.

The night of eerie suspense and the lingering sense of being watched. You enjoyed the days festivities when you were younger, skipping excitedly door to door under a white sheet with your friends.

This Halloween would be your second at Miss Robichaux’s, the first you’d all gone out to a party and got a little too drunk, returning to an irritated Ms Goode. It had been the first time you’d kissed her, and she’d rejected you because of the state you’d been in.

Still, it was the night that had started the path of your relationship with the headmistress.

You loved Halloween.

This year, Fiona Goode, reigning Supreme, returned to the academy. You were instantly weary of her, due to the fact Delia never liked to bring her mother up in conversation of her past. When you’d overheard her telling your girlfriend that she was wasted potential in the school, a prickle of icy anger called the hair at the nape of your neck to stand rigid.

You and the rest of the witches had decided to stay in, watch films and play games. It wasn’t often that everyone could get together to celebrate an evening where witches were celebrated, so they wanted to make the most of the friendly atmosphere that surrounded them. It never lasted long in the coven.

Fiona went out to a bar, her witches hat crooked atop her head and you found yourself glaring at her as she left. The woman alit a flame inside you, one that easily spread and engulfed your powers, fire licking hotly at the tips of your fingers and threatened to overpower you.

Cordelia had stayed behind with you, much to her mother protest, to have a quiet night while the rest of the hubbub would be concentrated in the living room. You were both wrong to think that there’d be no disturbances.

The shattering of glass fractured the silence in your shared room with Cordelia. She’d been braiding your hair, an intimacy that the pair of you rarely found time to do together. She hummed the song you were sung as a child, a habit that she’d picked up in your time at the coven, the action now second nature. It no longer only served to soothe you, but now it brought her comfort too.

Her fingers stilled in your hair, head snapping to the door. You heard a couple of loud thuds and shouts, and then her hand was clutching yours protectively.

“Hey Cordelia?” You heard Queenie shout up the stairs, “you best look outside.”

She was off the bed like it had burned her, drawing the curtains back to show the slow advance of the people outside. You heard her shaky inhale, before she fisted her hands in her trousers and turned to you.

“It’s just the locals. Playing tricks on us, you know how Madison likes to irritate them the rest of the year. Lord knows we’re not the best neighbours,” her face looked serious but the waver in her voice betrayed her. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than you.

It had been a blur after that, shouting and running, and Cordelia slipped out of your grasp. You’d been fighting, had a kitchen knife pressed into your hand by, Zoe, maybe? No. It had been one of the other girls.

They wouldn’t die, those zombies, if that’s even what they were. You’d slashed at a part of them that they shouldn’t have been able to get back up from. Yet it did, limbs flailing and reaching spindly towards you.

Knocked to the ground, you think you must have passed out. But not before you’d seen Cordelia trying to defend the house, eyes furious and scared and dark.

You remembered the purr of the chainsaw, the splatter of blood. The silence that hung after.

The next day you found Cordelia sat at her usual bench in the greenhouse, frows furrowed in concentration as she mixed ingredients with the gentle crack of test tubes and vials. You could see the anguish behind hooded eyes, it was clear that she’d been restless last night, down here long past when everyone else slept.

You had seen her from your window as you’d been drawing the curtains the night before, standing over the pile of haphazardly thrown bodies of the zombies. You weren’t sure how long she’d spent there, not wanting to disturb her until now.

She’d also been absent at both breakfast and dinner, with the excuse of paperwork, but you could see through the thinly veiled lie. You brought her a sandwich and a yogurt, setting them down on a bench before pulling a chair up beside her to watch her work.

Cordelia could mix potions and restore plants without thinking, her craft a lovingly perfected dance in which he moved around the greenhouse with practised ease, plucking vials off the shelves and balancing glassware in steady hands.

Her hands shook. Slightly, almost unnoticeable was the small tremor but it indicated her unease. There was blood still crusted under her fingernails.

You softly coaxed her to put the glass down with fingers around her wrists, guiding her to look at you before lazily lacing your fingers together. She whispered a greeting with a small smile, almost as if she hadn’t registered your presence until you’d touched her.

“I feel like I failed everyone. My girls.” Her voice cracked languidly, eyes falling to where your hands joined on her lap, her nails scraping at your skin nervously. “How can I be headmistress when I cannot protect you all?”

“It’s not your job to do it all alone.” You reminded her gently, thumb brushing over whitened knuckles, following the dip and contour of her skin. “Cordelia.”

A single droplet of shimmering water does not sink a ship. A single cloud cannot shield the sun. A single parent could spend years doubting their worth, unaware that it takes a village to raise a child.

No single person can bear the weight of the world’s troubles without crumbling.

Not even Cordelia, whom you thought could harness the sun if she willed it, could do everything herself. It simply was an unrealistic expectation that her mother had used to weigh her down with.

“Look at me, baby. You are not alone, okay?”

When her head lifted slowly, the light caught the water in her eyelashes, diamond tears shimmering and rolling down the curve of reddened cheeks. You were quick to coo at her, hand coming to cradle her face so you could lean to kiss them away, salt on your tongue.

She shook her head, refusing to look at you and you felt hopeless, like a bystander on the site of an accident. As much as you tried to couldn’t get close enough to her to help, to comfort her as she needed. Running in a dream, tripping over a mere breath and wading through syrup as you tried to escape.

“I’m a failure.”

You found yourself shaking your head, the phantom of a protest falling from your lips, how could Cordelia think that.

“Everything that Fiona says is true.” She continued, head falling into her arms on the desk. Your hand rested on her back, a gentle reminder of the comfort you could give her if only she asked for it. If only she would accept it when you would give it to her anyway.

“I don’t belong here.” Whispered from under her hair which hid her.

Cordelia didn’t realise her own worth, and you wondered if anyone ever truly does.

Does the night sky know its beauty? Or does it envy the blue of the day? Does it wait for the sun to kiss its head and grant it eternity. The night sky is rich with light, if it would only look deep enough within itself to find it. Burning stars and planets reflecting the sun, a kaleidoscope of colour on an ebony canvas.

Cordelia would often look at pictures of her absent mother when she believed to be alone. She was secretly envious of Fiona’s effortless graceful command and hold that she had over the whole coven. She believed her own magical abilities to be inferior to that of the Supreme’s, but it was an unfair comparison, for a Supreme would always persist.

She thought that it meant hers weren’t strong enough, scared for eventualities like the previous night, that she would fail at the role of protector. But she hadn’t failed, she’d fought just like you and Zoe, and it was just the luck of the draw that Zoe’s fear would trigger her Power Negation.

But Cordelia held such raw natural, burning potential that you’d habitually find yourself staring as she practised spells. Eyes following the deft flow of her fingers as she’d manipulate movement. She’d had the second sight within her, so at least on a subconscious level she must know her power.

“You belong here. And look around you, look at this place. Yourgreenhouse.”

“You made it into what it’s become. It’s you.” You spoke, letting yourself spin to appreciate all the work she’d put into this place, into herself.

Cordelia lifted her head, hair falling from her eyes and crowning her face as she followed your gaze to the hanging planters, the glass vials. To the floor that she’d swept only days ago, leaves starting to litter the stone again.

She watched you run fingertips over the exposed brick on the wall, your attention solely on her work around you. She could see the adoration in the iris’ of your eyes, alight with your honesty. You gaze returning, always, to her as you walked to her.

Tentatively, you reached out for her. Was she yet ready to accept your help, your love as you wanted to give it to her?

Still unsure, Cordelia shied away from your comforting touch, head returning to her hands.

“You don’t have to live behind Fiona’s words anymore.” You whispered into her temple, as if straight into her mind.

Sometimes it is easier to live in the shadows than to confront those who cast them.

She’d spent her whole life cowering in Fiona’s shadow, growth and development stunted from the lack of light. Self-belief fractured into a gaping crack.

She’d been trapped, dark and alone with a mother figure who didn’t love her in a way she understood how to be loved. They both loved each other then, and ove each other now, but sometimes mere love isn’t enough. It isn’t consistent enough to be safe. You can love someone and still hurt them.

You had spent time working on her confidence, creeping back into the light and into herself again. Breaking down the thoughts that had grown to immobile threatening walls that only served to block the light more.

All it had taken was one night of Fiona being back for all that progress to retreat back to where they’d been hidden. Cordelia had urged you then to back away, to leave her and grow by yourself, that she was only holding you back.

But you gritted your teeth and grinned in the face of the devil. You weren’t scared of the dark. And you’d be damned if you were leaving it without your girlfriend. Even if you had to start right back at the beginning, you’d help her to heal.

“You could be the next Supreme.” You urged, pulling her head from where it rested on the table, forcing her to look in your eyes and see your honesty.

“Don’t say things that aren’t true.” She begged, vision hazed by tears.

“But it is true, Delia. You’re so powerful.” You pressed, eyes conveying your severity like your voice couldn’t. Willing her to believe.

You reached to brush the tears that clung to her eyelashes before they fell and stained her face. A lingering kiss to her lips, the feeling of her lower lip wobbling between your own. In that moment, you could feel her fragility.

You didn’t want to push further, knowing that she may never truly believe in her full potential like you did. Instead, you pushed yourself to feet and bounced in front of her. She looked up in confusion, eyes still full with tears that caught the light, and you wanted nothing more than to kiss them away again. They didn’t deserve to dampen her skin.

“Dance with me?” You asked, standing and offering a hand the way you’d so often seen in movies.

A shy smile formed on the headmistress’ lips, cheeks pink and the tips of her ears flushed as she allowed herself to be pulled from her seat. Into the shine of the moonlight, which shone beams of liquid silver through the glass onto the hard stone and the soft of Cordelia.

Your arms secured themselves around her waist while hers stroked the back of your neck. Moments like this made you wonder if perhaps the cliché’s people told you about love had been true. Maybe this could be forever. It always felt like forever when you were in her arms.

You swayed to phantom music, slow and deliberate, soft touches and kisses on bare shoulders. You felt like even a whisper would shatter the perfect peace you’d enveloped you both in, sending ripples of doubt over the sheer water and to Cordelia again.

The moon felt like perfect company in that moment, like a third person, watching and waiting. A witness to the silent change.

Cordelia pressed her forehead to yours, her fingers splayed through the hair at the back of your head, holding you close. You could see the depth of her eyes, searching for the lie in yours that wasn’t there to find. You truly believed that she was the next Supreme, she had to be.

“Say something.” She breathed, hand on your waist dancing under the hem of your top, cold fingers on warm skin.

“Like what?” You asked, pulling back momentarily so you could smile at her. The hand that was behind your head tucked hair behind your ear and brought your hand from her shoulder so she could press lips to your knuckles. The ridge of bone under the soft of her skin and then she was hugging you again.

“Anything, I just want to hear your voice.”

So you told her about yourself. Stories she’d never heard and memories you’d thought you’d forgotten. Whispers of your past shared with your future.

She nuzzled her chin into the crook of your neck and listened, breathing deep the smell of your perfume that clung, lingering to the collar of your clothes.

A laugh.

Rippling up your throat at reminiscing a memory, vibration muffled against her ear at your jaw, and Cordelia swore that she could feelyour emotions. Truly feel you, and she realised that you couldn’t lie to her. Couldn’t will yourself to say something untrue just to still the aching beat of her heart within her chest.

You couldn’t make yourself want to mend her. You didn’t want that. You wanted to help her heal. Heal from her past that held less joy and laughter than yours did.

You wanted to help her create memories of her own, just like this.

Slow dancing in the greenhouse.

Dancing in the dark under the glow of the patient moon.

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