#if they dont think im worth it then im not going to waste any more of my time and they dont need to waste any of theirs

[sydmarch]

it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy

[unsurebazookacore]

my mom very awkwardly coming into my room and handing me my freshly folded laundry telling me "you should be happy in life" 30 minutes after i finished a full mental breakdown in front of her because she said she's not paying for college unless I get into a top 30 university

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Had an ADHD assessment a few years ago and the fuckwit that assessed me said, as a direct quote, "You're too smart to have ADHD." Like that's not any type of paraphrasing, that stupid fucking statement is burned in my brain forever and has been since I heard it.

I talked to my psychiatrist about getting a referral to a different psychologist for assessment, and she agreed and sent it in.

Today I got a call that said they don't agree that I need reassessment, and I'm welcome to pursue it elsewhere, but they won't provide reassessment. Which is just.

I don't even know where to start with that one. I just needed to get it out. I'm so tired.

[thebigqueer]

maybe the reason im so upset about it isnt cuz she broke up wme but because all that waiting over the summer just feels so worthelss now. like i know we couldnt talk as much or be around each other as much but i was waitingall summer like when we get back all we'll do is be together!!!! all of the 'new relationship syndrome especially now that its long distance' stuff will be fixed when we get back!! but were over and theres no chanec of fixing it because were over and its just like what if we waited what if we just figured it out for another few weeksand see where it went form there

[sodaf]

I'm having such a fucking week I don't even know what to say

[why-rock-look-tasty-if-no-eat]

Because I don't care how or what I eat (moldy grapes/bread, paper, uncooked pasta, ants, undercooked foods, stale cereal, freezer burnt foods, pineapples, burnt foods, suspicious meat, raw potatoes, pinecone (only a bite dw), dandelions, expired foods, foods covered with sand/dirt, grass, marrow) I like to traumatize my friends and family with what I'm willing to eat. Now I get an excuse to traumatize tumblr :D

Frozen milk. Thats the weirdest thing I've had and I'm not willing to so that again. It doesn't really freeze like water so it's really similar to a slushie, but the slushie is frozen. If that makes sense.

[aciddrattboyy]

monster mash

scare!actor bachira appeared in a vision and i had to let it be known or after being stood up on a date, one scare actor meguru spots you and decides to try to fill the spot

bachira x f!reader 🕸 fluff 🕸 wc: 1.7k cw: nothing i dont think, nothing is too descriptive i think i literally use the word gore once, nvm i lied one mention of blood (its fake) a/n: this is me lil story for the poll i made but it prob wont be my only halloween fic cuz i love halloween

🕸

the cold fall breeze did nothing to help your already trembling body. as soon as you stepped out of your house you regretted wearing the tight black dress your date picked out for you. and when you got a message from said date saying he wasnt going anymore when you were already half way to the festival, you regretted it even more. 

you thought about turning back, going home and calling your friends. maybe try to see if there were any parties you all could go to. you wouldve felt bad asking your friends to buy tickets last minute. but you spent a good amount on your ticket and you weren’t about to waste it. 

here you were now, standing in line for a haunted house all by your lonesome. were you a huge fan of haunted houses? no not exactly. but were you about to get every pennys worth of what you paid for? yes of course. you kind of felt stupid about it, feeling a bit stubborn doing this all out of spite. but you weren’t exactly made of money and you had been excited to come here. so you’d persevere. 

meguru strolled out of the ‘crew only’ door, hands in the pockets oh his sweatpants while goosebumps trailed up his arms up until well his t-shirt sleeves ended. observing the ridiculously long line, he silently prayed for his coworkers and hoped their night went… decent.

rummaging through his pockets, meguru grabbed for his earbuds. but he stopped in his tracks when he saw you. arms crossed tightly over your chest as you fidgeted with the hem of your short dress. a smile twitched on the corner of his mouth as he smoothly changed his course, abandoning his walk towards the employee parking lot and making a bee line towards you. he seamlessly slid under the velvet rope, grinning as he stood behind you. 

“what’s a pretty girl like you doing out here by yourself?” 

your eye twitched, twisting around and fully prepared to tell the creep off. but your words faltered when you actually saw megurus face. his smile didnt seem to match what sounded like cat calling. so you relaxed a bit, hoping that continuing this conversation wouldnt end badly.

“being stood up on a date,” you watched as his eyes widened, his smile faltering for just a moment. 

“no shit really?” he barked out a laugh out of surprised. his eyes scanned over you, watching in amusement as you bounced on the balls of your shoes. “damn that sucks.” you scoffed, nodding your head with a less than enthused smile. 

“thanks,” 

“but-” meguru said quickly, taking a step forward when he saw you begin to turn away. “uh if you want i can help you through it, i know the place well,” he said, gesturing to the haunted house youve been waiting to get into for what felt like eons. your eyebrow cocked as you faced him fully, being amused by his attempt to salvage the conversation. 

“are you some kind of adrenaline junkie?” you asked lightly, wondering just how many times he’d gone through it. little did you know it was more than you couldve ever guessed. 

“yes- but im one of the actors here so it would be pretty inconvenient if i didnt know my way around- whats your name? im meguru,” meguru didnt usually tell people about his job. not finding it important enough to talk about most times. was the job fun? most of the time. but it was just an exciting side gig while he made his way through college. but seeing the way your eyes lit up at his words, he felt good about it. 

“you dont look… scary,” you teased, studying megurus features as you moved up the line with him in tow. if you were given a line up of people to guess who were scare actors you probably would’ve picked him last upon first glance. “and its y/n” you added on with a bubbly grin. 

“well yeah i dont have an ax through my chest right now,” he shrugged his shoulders, eyes never leaving yours with a goofy smile on his face. you laughed, a sweet smile settling on your face. you felt like your night was starting to look up just a bit. “but nice to meet you y/n,”

the two of you talked a lot about nothing going through the line. it was surprisingly easy to just chat with him and you hadnt even noticed you were moving with the line until you were basically at the entrance. you looked at meguru with wide eyes when an ear piercing scream could be heard of from inside. 

“dont worry pretty girl i’ll protect you,” he said with a wink, mirroring the smile on your face. as you guys moved towards the entrance, your heart was too busy beating in your ears for you to notice or hear meguru talking to one of his coworkers that were monitoring the line. you were only brought back to reality when meguru linked his arm with yours, rolling his neck. 

meguru usually didnt actually walk through the haunted houses he worked at. the thought of seeing a coworker in the makeup he’s seen been put on them before would probably ruin the mood. but now that he had you, clingly to his side oh so adorably, he was starting to think maybe it would be fun. 

as soon as you walked in you were immediately veiled in eery, cold darkness. adrenaline pumped through your veins as you tried to adjust your vision. you swerved your head, trying to look out for any possible jumpscares. meguru watched as you grew a bit frantic, not wanting to say too much and spoil the fun. there was a faint smile on his lips when he saw you notice the well lit door down the hall. 

while you were relieved, and started making your way to the door, meguru knew that it wasnt the exit. he knew someone was behind that door, patiently waiting for someone like you to open it to jump out and scream. he found your interest in the door amusing considering he was there just a couple hours ago. 

“you might not wanna open that door,” he leaned down to whisper in your ear. he felt bad for ruining the illusion, but you already looked like you were on the brink of collapse and the last thing he wanted was for you to faint. 

you shivered, his warm breath grazing your skin a stark contrast to the cold room you were in. holding on to his arm with both hands now, you let him lead the way, suddenly realizing you were not a fan of haunted houses. 

you got through the majority of the house with almost no incidents. having put your faith into meguru, you screwed your eyes shut. only getting scared by the ambience or someone else’s screams. 

meguru glanced down at you plenty of times as he walked you through. you just looked so cute leaning your head on his with your eyes closed. you had put all your trust in him to get you through and he was going to honor that. 

what meguru didnt know then, was that a bunch of the crew members had been plotting as the two of you walked through, staking out the exit for an impromptu jumpscare. they normally wouldnt do this, they have a job to do after all. but you guys were the last of your grouping so they would have to wait for you to leave before letting more people in anyway. it was sort of a gift to meguru, giving him a scare in a haunted house.

“we’re almost there,” meguru muttered close to your head, his smile growing as he made his way to the exit. your eyes had opened just a bit, relief washing through your body when you could clearly see outside of the haunted house. with a little pep in your step, you sped walked for the exit. 

but that was cut short when a body fell from the roof, almost landing on top of you but staying suspended in the air. you yelped, stumbling backwards into megurus chest. unfortunately for you, he was of no help. his eyes furrowed, his own heart rate starting to pick up. but just as he was about to make sense of it all, two actors jumped in front of you. the special effects were gorey and you thought you were going to vomit. with wide eyes you turned to meguru who was now laughing nervously. 

another body fell, this time hitting the ground with a thud right behind you. you both spun around towards the sound and you could feel a scream bubbling in your throat when you saw a dark liquid seep out from under it. 

under normal circumstances, meguru would laugh that stunt off, knowing exactly how it was done and having pulled it off himself. but having already been caught off guard, it did nothing to calm him down. 

quickly grabbing your wrist, he pulled you through the hallway, blood pumping through his veins as all of the sound effects and screams followed them out. your eyes were tightly shut, not daring to open until you knew you were out of there. 

the oh so slightly warmer autumn air hit you like a truck when you finally got out. your eyes were almost bugging out of your head as you looked at meguru who had the exact same expression. the both of you were breathing heavily, standing there in stunned silence.

“you said you knew-”

“i know i did-”

“so how-,” you took in megurus disheveled state, his genuine look of shock in his face made you giggle. with the adrenaline still flowing through you, you both became a laughing mess, rethinking that just happened in the past 3 minutes. and when you looked into his eyes once more, you werent able to stop yourself from pulling him into a kiss. meguru was quick to reciprocate, holding wrapping his arms around you as your soft lips pressed into his. 

the kiss only lasted mere seconds before you both stepped back in shock. you felt your face start to heat up as his smile only grew wider. 

“woah at least treat me to a caramel apple first,” you laughed softly and meguru could have sworn he felt his heart do a backflip into a split when he looked at you. you took your hand in his, squeezing it once before dragging him deeper into the festival. “i lied actually im more of a funnel cake typa guy,”

i hope you enjoyed !! reblogs/comments are very much appreciated <3

[omamorens]

Do you have any HCs with Ivy and Ink Blade?

OH BOY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. ivy is a very interesting character to me (fhjy spoilers: and im glad she survived). tho people might not really like her that much, i think shes neat and could have a lot of nuances if her character could be explored enough

ivy (pre and post shatter-star) is a regina george mean girl but with pop-punk rock aesthetics.

she’s a girls girl and much like her canon, she loves fashion.

loves fashion in a sense that she loves it for Herself and not because she wants to impress anyone.

she does not give a shit about what anyone thinks of her actually, and that generally comes off as “mean”.

ivy only sees her attitude as a filter for those too weak to be acquainted with her.

though she has a hard exterior, she does have a soft spot for those who could actually stick by her.

riding off on that “loves fashion” part, i think ivy is particularly good at finding good deals and the best bargains. she doesn’t go for the most expensive stuff because that’s just wasteful.

she’s the type of friend you want to go to the flea market with because this girl drives a hard bargain.

riding off of that, ivy always takes oisin out to shop because there’s not a lot of dragonborn-proof clothes for him so when they do find stuff, its too expensive to be worth it unless ivy is the one bargaining for him.

oisin is always grateful of her for it.

in her shatter-star state, ivy’s “mean” attitude got nastier and more cruel

ivy has a hard time asking for forgiveness (oisin will tell you that she almost never says the word “i’m sorry” genuinely), but she does it in her own way.

sometimes when she passes by mazey in the halls, ivy genuinely compliments the bard on her badidas.

“nice shoes. they’re the 90’ exclusive line, right? those were the best quality shoes they released. such a shame their next series went downhill from there.”

mazey, apprehensive of ivy at first but open to having this conversation with her, “no, yeah, you’re absolutely right. these are the only pairs i can both dance and fight in. its been a year but theyre still going strong.”

and the girls continue talking about finding the best deals and the most practical clothing they could have as adventurers. fabian is not very happy about this.

mazey of course is not required to forgive ivy for things she said and done, and ivy is not at all actively seeking for verbal forgiveness anyway

but they can be courteous to each other and bond over similar interests

lucy, being a frost genasi, absolutely knows how to knit. she knits her own clothes sometimes because not much clothing items in stores have her size.

when ivy found out about this during freshman year, ivy asked lucy to teach her and they absolutely bonded over knitting.

at some point both the girls have knitted some stuff for all the members of their party.

everyone still keeps their knitted gifts, even if they’re frayed or have grown too small for them to use.

surely i will have more to write on her character but for now these are what i have on the top of my head. ivy embra they dont get you like i do (ivy hcs with inkblade i will continue in another post because this one got too long)

[scrunckled-idiot]

news for next year and my new years resolutions! (THAT IM GOING TO BRUTE FORCE MYSELF TO MAKE HAPPEN! I NEED TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER YOU HAVE NO IDEA)

to start making more complex scene builds in sfm. things like making pockets bedroom, or more forest scene builds like i did in my "the game" comic since it was really fun to put in little details and make it look full and lived in/untouched.

now that i know i have a software that i KNOW i can use to make decent quality animations and have somewhere to post them, im planning to do more animatics and AM GOING TO teach myself to animate. things i WILL BE MAKING are demo reels for my film and characters, an "im gonna win" animatic segment for pocket, "pockets big date!" visual novel comic on my youtube, more shitposts using sfm, things like that.

IM GOING TO GET ONTO THE FANFIC. im going to do it i promise, its just harder to do when you lose motivation and move onto other projects. if it took valve 7 years to make the last instalment of the tf2 comics, then its ok for me to take a few years on the first chapter.

im thinking about setting up a kofi or SOMETHING to earn money on for here. im thinking about charging money for animated commissions only. eg: £5 for a short animation, £10 for a one minuet clip, and £15 for a 3 minuet+ clip. im thinking its a good start and fairly priced for the amount of effort i put into it. still thinking about it though. these can be things like silly little memes or eeeven some spicer content eheheh (gotta reveal to my foster mama that i have a tumblr first. also when you inevitably read this, hiiii i love you! sorry for keeping this a secret for so long i was really scared that you'd be mad :( )

im planning to do more comics like i did with "the game" since @rainderthesomeone is no longer continuing theirs and will be continuing the last one they were doing, which was actually an old plot i wrote down in 2020.

im thinking of dropping out of collage tbh cus its not doing anything for me. i've been told im defiantly worthy of working at level 2, but im stuck in level one learning EVERYTHING I ALREADY KNOW like how to use acrylic paints and water colour paints and fucking- BASIC SHIT YOU DO IN HIGHSCHOOL YEAR 7! and im only stuck in level one because i failed my maths n' English which I DONT NEED UNLESS IM DOING ARCITECHTURE OR INFASTRUCTURE or some shit like that! its not worth wasting my time over so I'm gonna try and like y'know... NOT GO.

if i cant do rusted iron helmets, i might start indulging in some pocket X soldier fics because god they make me sick and at this point pocket is literally just my self insert. making them go on stupid adventured together and mutually pining for each other except one doesn't know they're pining and the other is clawing at the walls thinking about the other.

im going to start working more on building up my animation studio, or at least prepare for it. and by that i mean looking for any high paying jobs and working on what's gonna be my first debut film. i gotta commit to this NOW or else i'll NEVER do it. i wanna be able to save animated films and set a new example.

[scootvideo]

Do you deal with 3p with you celeb SP? Could you give any advices if yes? Love your blog💖

THIRD PARTIES WHILE MANIFESTING

I DO!!! Third parties are a ANNOYING ASF, I’m a very sensitive person and when I see someone else close to the one I love I feel PHYSICAL PAIN (IM NOT EXAGGERATING)

There are three methods to deal with this:

1. Denying Method

- SP and X are dating

- Uh? What? No they are not. SP is literally obsessed with me. They are just very good friends ;)

(YOU GET WHERE THIS IS GOOOOING?? 🤭)

- SP and X are the perfect couple

- Yeah sure, and the sky is red.

- SP loves X

- Yeeeaaah sure.. and my dad is The Rock…

2. Fourth party Method

- SP and X are dating

- Wait isn’t X with this other guy? Yeah, I saw it on instagram and they look so cute together, X looks much happier now…

(You can ship them with someone or just think that X going out with someone else…)

- X is so much happier with their new partner… They are just so perfect for each other

3. Nonexistence Method

- SP and X are dating

- Who is X? Never heard of them

(Don’t have more examples for this method 😭. This is literally ignore their existence. If they don’t exist to you THEY DONT EXIST, that’s just what is like to be God)

Important Tips:

- Don’t compare yourself: THIS IS THE WORST MISTAKE YOU COULD MAKE. I’m guilty of doing this all the time but you just HAVE TO KNOW that:

They will never be you. They could dress like you, act like you, like the same things you do… But they will NEVER be you, because you are JUST you, and your SP ONLY likes you, ONLY loves you, AND X WILL NEVER BE YOU

- Work on your Self Concept: This comes linked with the first tip, you have to KNOW that even at your worse THEY ARE HEAD OVER HELLS OVER YOU.

You could look like cockroach (you don’t), you could smell like a fish (you don’t), you could be the most boring person in the world (you’re not), but that doesn’t matter, cause they are OBSESSED OVER YOU.

How many times you’ve seen your best friend crushing over the ugliest man ever? SO WHY, YOUUUUU (GODDESS LOOKING HUMAN), ARE INSECURE ABOUT “oh will they find me attractive🥺” ?

OF COURSE, OKAY??? STOP THIS NONSENSE

- Block them if necessary: I know that this tip can’t be applied by everyone, but if you can do it, DO IT. Sometimes, us humans, are self destructive, we like to torture ourselves looking at their profile and staring at them with jealousy and hatred. ITS NOT WORTH IT. Keep your energy positive and don’t waste it on someone who is not even a threat.

…

THATS ALL!!! Thank you sm for reading and being here with me, hope the tips help <3

Btw thank you for enjoying my blog annon!!

BYEBYEBYEEE

[triforce-of-mischief]

dammit im going on a mental rant about storks again but this time im not letting it go to waste

(tw for blunt discussion of dark topics in the context of babies)

tulip is EIGHTEEN YEARS AND THREE DAYS OLD when the movie ends. she has THE REST OF HER ENTIRE ADULT LIFE to deal with the consequences of A SINGLE BIRD producing A MILLION HUMAN BABIES IN ONE DAY. which she enthusiastically takes joint credit for, because she has no idea that things could go wrong.

but let's backtrack a bit, junior could've been wrong. i don't know how many letters were in that case, i don't know how many babies were on the floor, i don't know how many postcards were on the bulletin board. let's just assume that he was right, for the sake of everything.

"but fable," you say, "there's a lot of people in the world, like a few billion which is a lot of millions. maybe a million babies is a perfectly normal amount of babies to materialize in a single day."

"About 385,000 babies are born each day according to the UN. That adds up to more than 140 million a year."

junior enabled the creation of almost 1.5 years worth of babies with a single "i did not think that through." THAT IS A BIG DEAL.

ESPECIALLY when you remember that this is a backup of EIGHTEEN YEARS worth of babies. for the million expecting and unexpecting parents, that's a lifechanging event they might not be ready for. the storks could be handing babies to people who are too old, too depressed, too abusive, too apathetic, or in any other mental and/or physical state that makes them unfit to care for a baby. oh yeah, or they could just be dead. hope the orphanages are ready for THAT can of worms.

"but fable," you say again, "what if this is a handmaid's tale thing and it's okay because they're behind on eighteen years worth of babies?"

the gardners explicitly establish that humans are doing just fine procreating without the storks and the machine. until that moment, earth's population was still naturally balanced.

and then there's the whole thing about the babies speedrunning the first three months of their lives, which for human babies is also a pretty big deal. (i forgot to research when babies start to laugh; the answer is 4-6 months)

are stork babies just as susceptible to sickness and all the stuff that makes the first stages of existence so perilous? it's a good thing stork babies are free (apparently) because if so, that's just a delivery of grief and depression. yaaaay.

on a lighter note, i do love how diamond destiny was handled. she's proof that the babies are created with the traits that are best for their family, even if it's not exactly what they thought they wanted. she doesn't get any special treatment for being a girl. she's not any more pure or innocent than any other baby, her ninja skills aren't a #baby girlboss moment, and the only physical characteristic symbolizing her gender is her pink hair. she only wears a diaper for the entire movie (except the future-vision), because girl babies dont need any more clothes than boy babies. not even a frilly dress or a cute hairclip.

i'll stop for now, but there's more where that came from 💖

[quirkthieves]

i really don't want to dignify this with more than i have to, but okay. speedrun to address all those paragraphs because i really did not bother reading most of it i literally just woke up

-a dni isnt a callout. its just a boundary. in fact, the reason i said i didnt want close friends of ire to interact was for reasons like this, where this grown adult proceeds to flip the fuck out on people. i didnt make a callout. there wasnt anything callout worthy. just someone being a douchebag. in fact, i was fine interacting with mutuals of ire and ire themselves all the way up until shit hit the fan, in which case i think im very well justified in saying "yeah i dont think our circles should interlap very much". you know, after ire flipped out on Marx, because marx is a friend of mine and anyone who can do that to a mutual friend just because we're mutual friends and just because marx is friends with lys is ridiculous. i wont go into marx's stuff unless they want me to but are you for real rn

-i can post our full convos if you really want i kept the screenshots but here's the rundown: first: saying rxgelord writing age up smut was just "his business" was kinda weird. im gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didnt really mean it that way because you just wanted to argue semantics with me.

and thats the bigger thing than whether it was about rxgelord, myers, whatever. the reason i left the server and the reason i decided i didnt want anything to do with you was because you went out of your way to nitpick and argue about semantics with me, sometimes for over an hour. with rxgelord? okay, whatever. idc. that guy was deeply unserious anyway. myers? that one was just bad faith because everyone knows we were being facetious and silly with the whole "cheating with himself" thing-- the point was that he had done shit like making alt accounts to date himself when he had actual partners because he was someone who frequently and grossly misused peoples trust, we were just wording it in kind of a jokey way because i did not think you needed that written out for you, and the third one, which wasnt about drama at all and is the ACTUAL reason i left

the third one had to do with me expressing that something in the server had blown up very quickly and gone very fast and was a bit hard to keep up with. i asked maybe we have a log channel and be a bit better about plotting because both myself and others had to deal with unintended consequences on our characters we werent prepared for regardless of how much we participated.

ire then proceeded to spend an hour with me arguing about if it "even actually counted because it was in text format" and saying they "didnt understand discord rp" despite having run servers in the past. this went on for an hour. i was polite, because at no point was ire ever actually bringing up a point that was contrary to my own-- ire was just trying to nitpick what i was saying and went out of their way to call my feelings unimportant, amongst other things. after the rxgelord and myers things, i realized that ire was very dedicated to misunderstanding me at every junction, was intentionally trying to put down how i felt in any given situation regardless of severity, and very much wasting my time. im not stupid. i decided it wasnt worth trying to stick it out and tolerating something that was going to be triggering for me (im in an intensive trauma therapy program right now and being demeaned and nipped at is not going to help when i already spend so much of my week in an episode or the aftermath thereof, and i know i can have a temper problem!), so i left, because unlike ire i felt no need to be hostile to people in the server regardless of how i felt about them. and then ire decided to be a massive dickhole to a bunch of my friends, so now we're here.

kind of weird the focus is on me and how abrasive i am when so much of their shit was about lys, but whatever. shrrrrrrugs. and again, i have the screenshots of our spats in the server but it reallllly doesnt matter? because thats what this is? petty spats? why am i catching this splatter again

anyway, calling me a crazy tweaker and an edgelord for being mad at [looks at notes] the man who gave me a seizure and lied and gaslit me for two years is kinda wild. arent you a dabi roleplayer? you love this shit. put me on your blog, i can send you pics for your graphics and everything.

anyways, back to your regularly scheduled tweaking out. love you all.

[prttyjia]

how to get over bad grades ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

quick disclaimer: being down or dissapointed by bad grades is totally okay, we all grow and feel differently so im not invalidating anyones feelings by this post, its just for anyone who needs it!

taking time to realize : this is bad grades right? it may so unmotivating and disappointing to see how your had work ended up looking. but remember, good grades take being consistent. Try new studying methods, and use more time to understand the concept your lacking rather than memorising it. its just a grade, like every of the billion people on earth get.

remember, this is literally just a number. would you let a number, A NUMBER, define you as a person? no. no you wouldn't. and if you would you have to get yourself together and realize your worth more than what you're worth academically. you're a living human, you wake up every morning and walk out of bed. do you realize how proud you should be for that? because if you dont, i'll tell you how awesome that is. we live on a floating rock, seriously its not that deep. its okay, you did your best.

treat yourself : you worked hard and even had to deal with the misery and sadness by these grades, you deserve to treat yourself. drink some tea, do something you love or go buy yourself something fun. you deserve it because the fact you went through the struggle is the only thing necessary to validate the fact that you deserve to be treated.

remind you that you are the one receiving these negative grades, and you are the one being effected by it. no one should be disappointed in you other than you, because this is affecting YOU. no one should be allowed to punish or shame you for something that wont affect them in any way, but rather you. even if your parents are disappointed or scolding you over your grades, dont take it personal. do it for you and get better as time goes on.

find someone to talk to : whether its a good friend or a responsible adult, you should try talk to someone about how you feel. it makes you feel so much better once you're not the only one borrowing this heavy information around. just make sure you can trust them since not every person is loyal and trustable to talk with.

switch the default : instead of crying or being sad about your grades, laying in bed as you binge eat chips and watch a show isnt the solution. instead, use all that negative energy on getting better at what your struggling at.

im not saying that you shouldn't be allowed to feel down after your grades got assigned, everyone deserves to take a break for as long as they need. im talking about being stuck in an hourless slump, just wasting your time on thinking about things that happend instead of things that are soon to happen. prepare for that.

[ins4nebxtch]

fr ending it all tonight cuz nothing seems worth it anymore like okay if im gonna be very honest i dont even get the point of trying anymore like it really really isnt worth it, the year started out kinda rough but i thought eh itll be fine but then like it went on and on and then it kept going downhill and see atp i still had hope that i could turn things around right but then i really don't think i can fix this like ive been trying for an entire year man idt anything is going to be any different. and before ik i was sorta depressed and shit but atleast i had some sort of energy to keep going but honestly I'm so fucking drained like idt im going to keep going. this anxiety ocd whatever the fuck it is im not self diagnosing cuz thats yucky like these fucking voices are genuinely getting too much, like bro wym smth very bad will happen if i dont leave the door hanging or keep my shoes exactly in a certain way or sit there and recite the number of fucking likes comments and shares on every reel 3 times. not victimizing here or anything but this is like -2 points for me no since i have to go through all this also and niggas who ain't gone thru shit in their life like the worst thing they've "been through" is getting scolded by parents for bad marks or sum get to sit here, fuck me over, laugh about it, spread it around to their friends who haven't gone through shit either js so they can sit here and judge me?? and then judge the way i cope w it too cuz they know whats better for me more than i do?? and dont even give me that oh ydk what others have been through like nigga even if they have 1. they should understand how it is and not pull ts and 2. if theyre going thru smth and this is their coping mechanism or whatever, just because your lire is fucking shitty doesnt give you the right to fuck up mine and laugh ab it. you cant outrun shit in this fucking city everyone knows everyone and apparently they love to make it so well known they dont like me cuz I'm some #1 alcoholic slut who apparently doesnt have a single nice bone in her body. i admit i was shitty like a while back but legit everyone who's sitting here and saying ts about me has done the same and some of these people have done even worse shit yet they face no consequencs and get to judge me?? its absolute bullshit. I've done nothing but sit here and fucking pray for things to get better and actually try to become a better person but im not gonna waste my time anymore if everything remains like this. you have absolutely no idea how much I've prayed to god, literally begging to fix atleast one aspect of my life but to no fucking avail and it's got nun to do w me being a bitch or whatever or oh it's js karma cuz i see niggas who've fucked me over 10 times worse having the time of their fucking life so god has no excuses. it's not even for character development anymore like okay bro ive actually been trying 2 change what more do i need to develop?? all these niggas do is judge judge judge like oh she drinks ew like nigga maybe the reason i do is cuz you or your friends dumbass fucked me over so hard that i wanted to kill myself?? would you rather me write yall fucking names in my suicide note and kms so the whole gang goes to prison?? fucking hell im doing these idiots a favour and they have issue w that also like bro atp id buy a fuck b4 i gave one (in reality i care a lot or i wouldnt be yapping this much) anw im done trying cuz if i suggest trying again im genyinely gonna waste 3 lakhs that my parents spent and theyll probably kill me themselves so i dont think i have any other fucking option anymore cuz im not dealing w all of this again. i swear to god bro if i actually die ive got a few niggas who i want paying the price for whatever bs they pulled or istg im gonna haunt them and pull one conjuring scene. oh and another thing ik they say iF yOu DoNt LiKe YouR LifE tHeN dO sMtH tO FiX iT like nigga past full year what do you think ive been doing like if god has this big issue w me then im also pulling one scene w him im going up there to see what his problem is

[princetofbone]

I'm really struggling with my depression right now, so have some lovely tips on how to study while depressed.

don't push yourself overmuch. you're already struggling, so try to make it easy for yourself. When I'm doing well, i study in 50 min incriments. When im not doing well, thats hard as fuck and i hate myself because i can't do it, and then I end up wasting a shit ton of time. Make it easier for yourself by studying for 25 min instead and taking more frequent food, water, and body breaks. If 25 min is too hard, do one problem. doing just a little but now will make future you so much less stressed

have a to-do list that explains each little thing you have to do. I never remember to brush my teeth when im not doin too hot, and making sure that's on my to-do list twice a day means that its something that gets done.

have fun drinks. this goes on all my lists, but especially when you are struggling, any little thing to make your day brighter can help

write compliments to your friends on cards in between problems, then give them to people. It seems dumb, but for me at least, giving people compliments and making people happy makes me feel a lil better.

let yourself break routines and habits if you think it will make you feel better. I know that for some people, it's the only thing keeping them going, but for me, if i let myself do weird things, it can snap me out of the grey because having a beef pie for breakfast is a lil odd, but it makes me happy, and that was what got me through the day yesterday.

Long story short, studying with depression is hard as hell- why should you study when you dont want to have a future and you're tired, and sleep is such a better option. But know that one day it will get better- even if it's just for one day. But isn't that one day of joy worth seeing? Isn't that one day of joy, that one day that might stretch out into days, maybe even weeks of joy, isn't it worth getting to?

What I'm trying to say is that I'm so, so proud of you for being here and trying to study even when its hard, even when you feel like there's not a point, there is, and you are going to make it, you are going to do so well, and I want everyone who sees this to just appreciate their existence for a moment, because every person has value beyond what they can contribute to the world.

[trash-can-sam]

Can I just say I adore Qi’s relationship with Mint. I feel like its such a good way showing the other side of Qi before they get close enough to see it, and idk I dont think people talk about it enough.

I find it interesting partially because it reveals a lot about Qi’s tendency to be sentimental and hold onto the past (despite the fact he would never admit it.) I find this an interesting aspect of him I dont see brought up enough. He keeps memories of his family and espeically his grandfather very close, I feel like he’s one of the characters with the most photos of family in his room actually (idk correct me if im wrong on that im not sure) and holds on to even small ideas he had as a child (gunghamm mobile suit, katana thing, etc.) 

Now, this could be for several reasons. I feel like a lot of it is rooted in wanting to prove himself to people, wanting to make his dreams reality for himself, absolutely, but also wanting other people to see that he was right to believe in himself and his intellect. He mentions people thinking he was crazy for going to Sandrock, and he doesnt really hide that he wants to be known for his acomplishments. Qi cant stand being wrong and even if it seems impossible to make his childhood dreams a reality he’s going to try his damnedest, so part of the reason he holds onto his childhood dreams is out of spite.

I also feel like theres a component of not wanting to have wasted potential. He talks a bit about how he thinks his parents are wasting their lives and potential by being perfectly content with being simple fishermen who dont desire measurable improvement (money, fish caught, that type of thing). So I feel like he has definetly internalized that dissapointment in his parents by doing the opposite and desiring measurable improvement above all else, because otherwise how can he be sure what he’s doing is worth much?

A lot of this is in contrast to Mint, who doesnt hold onto his past that much. He barely talks about it at all, largely because well, there isnt a lot there. Mint doesnt care that much about proving himself to others, he doesnt care about proving himself to himself. He’s willing to largely take life how its given to him. DONT GET ME WRONG, hes not necessarily a slacker by any means, nor is he unmotivated, But I feel like by Qi’s means he definetly would be.

Mint does what he needs to, he does it well, and he takes a nap. Qi does what he isn’t required to do, does it well, and then does more shit he isnt required (and often he should not) do. In a lot of ways, Mint does what he does directly to help others where Qi does what he does for himself, and if others get helped so be it. You see this in the type of jobs they choose too, with Mint being an engineer who goes around the free cities and helps with town improvement and Qi being a solitary researcher who went to a town on the verge of collapse, not necessarily to help the people there, but to find an old world spaceship, for himself and for recognition for his work.

I also find it interested in how theyre united in their isolation from others. Neither Mint nor Qi really have that many friends. All Mint really has is Gale, whos more of an uncle than a friend really, and all Qi has is well... no one that he acknowleges as a friend ( I feel like hes on a lot friendlier terms with a lot of the town than he would mention BUT THATS FOR ANOTHER TIME ). They both clearly struggle with making friends, Mint because hes on the move, and Qi because its not a goal. For both of them, making meaningful connections with people aren’t really a priority. The priority is always their work, both of them wanting to be recognized more for their work than for themselves as people. 

IDK I just think its very interesting. I could probably write more TBH but this is kind of insane. I just like thinking about them rly theyre the bestest of pals.