#if theres enough interest in this do i need to make one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skeletood · 1 year ago

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Do people still make those in-character discord rp servers?

Cause like. I want that

#homestuck #roleplay #but ones that arent like. full of children #preferably #if theres enough interest in this do i need to make one #if u got balls u will send me feedback #thank you

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deoidesign · 2 months ago

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Ray of sunshine

(pre-launch page for their comic)

#I can not wait to make this comic #I have to stop thinking about it or else I cant focus #every time I start thinking about it I get all jittery. I wanna make it so fucking bad its unreal #hope to GOD I can do it full time omfg #I'll need like 500 people on my patreon paying to read ahead. ish. minimum. which is scary ahgkjsahgkjagh #but! I'll be able to put that on patreon! I cant do that right now. so thats cool!!!#just a lot of people AJGLKJGLKJASLKGGA #like it has to do well or I'm gonna have to get a different job #cause. I am NOT working for webtoon again #I cant do it they are killing me #and I'm not getting paid enough for it #I pitched this comic btw and they said they liked it but they wanted me to simplify the plot.#cause it was 'too complicated'#its literally just like. a murder mystery + a romance + a fetch quest #like its extremely not that complicated lmfao #they thought that people wouldnt be able to follow cause theres too much going on.#and I am not interested in simplifying my stories to this extent. I respect my readers and I trust they can follow plots #just. omfg I'm doing it again!!!#I cant start talking about webtoon without going off again!!!#they PISH ME OFF ! HAHAHAHAH #okay. anyways. I have to get back to work now this took me longer than I expected #like 4 hours #I'm enjoying this new illustration style I've been doing though. its fun.#its like 1 layer and then a ton of effects HAHAHAH #we were legion #zagan and luciel #zagan #luciel #how did I make zagan so hot... I'm a genius...#if he isnt hot then no one would put up with his behavior at the start of the ccomic HAHAHAHA

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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago

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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh #AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game #(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random #townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can #browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around #and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho #Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly #i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol #I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T #Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things #But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense #That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length #text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres #visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol #Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered #boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world #and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY #more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL #Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool #idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh #the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope #''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months #learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have #a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that #and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY

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whoblewboobear · 2 months ago

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Still thinking about this bc being a shitty teacher isn't the same as being evil and yet- *gets shot*

#Porter discourse bc good god if theres ever a character that I could write at length about their character assassination its him #Porter becoming comically evil for a bit I can handle but then the grooming being tacked on is like horrific in a way thats like.. okay #but why did that have to happen??#and I don't think brennan meant anything malicious by it y'know? it was more like 'hey! Emily would LOVE this & she'll still play fig!'#And yes the seeds were planted in sophomore year with the nightmare kings crown and Ragh #But we also saw how he was when working with other students and how much he cared for Ragh zelda and Fig like he was proud of his students #HE BECAME PROUD OF GORGUG #So to find out he was basically just grooming Kip is like- and then the seriousness of the grooming isnt addressed #its not handled with the level of seriousness like when the table realizes Bobby Dawn groomed Sandra Lynn #It's played as a bit and it feels like are we eating our cake and then having it too by making him a bumbling idiot in the finale when #he was shown as clever enough to fly under the radar except to fig who in the meta emily kept playing up the porter is evil bit bc no one #else believed it and it was funny to play up fig being extra sus of him #but then its also like okay we dont care about the grooming now also because it was kipperlily who they were beefing with- its just?#I wish the grooming never because part of it and I feel like thats the thing that bothers me about junior year and Porter specifically #AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #Porter cliffbreaker #not main d20 tagging this bc i know I'll look fucking insane but I do think porter as the big bad couldve been cleaner and it made me lose #a little faith in the storytelling of FH and made me not want a senior year #it kinda turned me off from d20 like i just have been less interested and the last 3 episodes are a massive reason why #and now theres too much shit left hanging so its like.. we kinda need a senior year but its like.. ehh.

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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i am playing professor layton and the curious village on my ds. very fun!!!

I don't know if i'm very far in because most of the time spent in that game was me being confused and bad at puzzles. it's fun though.

!!! im glad to hear youre enjoying it!! its one of my fav titles and honestly such an underrated series, id love it if more ppl gave it a try!

the puzzles can be difficult but very rewarding!! i used to dread them as a kid but now i find them nice and challenging. the math ones are still hard, but if u speak to Flick at the cafe he'll give you chess puzzles which i think were my favorite ^_^

#its nice because its story driven but gives u enough room to do the puzzles on your own to make progress.. and the rewards like #the gizmos painting pieces and furniture for the minigames are also a nice bonus because it gives u a little extra incentive to solve as #many puzzles as possible!! ngl i didnt know how the hotel room minigame worked but i had fun completing the painting and robot dog #plus the variety and the fact that u dont know which puzzles youre gonna get makes it interesting. and theres no harm if u cant finish or #end up missing some because you can find them in the riddle shack or just do a different one instead and its fine. very cool #i have dyscalculia so the math ones have always been hard for me and id need my brothers help so we'd work on it together #or i'd just search up the answer as a last resort............#actually im gonna save u the trouble. if u get the camera case puzzle the answer is 95. ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW BUT ITS 95 #it took me like 2 hours with my brother just to figure that out and i dont want anyone to get a headache from that one ITS FRUSTRATING #ive only played curious village and pandoras box bc its the only ones i had as a kid. replaying pandoras box rn actually!!!#i have cracked versions of unwound future and azran legacy which come after CV and PB BUT my version of unwound future is broken #it freezes on the opening cutscene every time i try to play it which SUCKS bc i really wanna play the games in order. maybe ill emulate it #professor layton #ask #answered #yapping #doodles

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faggling · 3 months ago

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I love taking care of people omggg 😍😍😍

#i love when i can go into nurse mode and get people what they need and run through the checklist of what helps #especially if i know the person because then i already have a handle on preferences or what they typically need #i have like. half a degree for a few things and i have a specific interest in physiology and psychology #i also used to really enjoy crisis management and peer support stuff but theres a lot of elements of that i cant do anymore #because the toll that shit takes is more than i can pay #specifically crisis related events #theres a lot I have to work through yet before i can manage those situations #anyway. my dream situation would be to work with someone to help them figure out what they need #like. assess the situation. find resources if needed. check on their ability to address basic daily tasks. make crisis plans.#start some basic dbt conversations and try to figure out what help they need and how to get it #i know some people dont want to go to a traditional psychiatrist or psychologist for whole host of extremely valid reasons #so being able to help them with self help or finding other alternatives. or just like. being a person they can regularly talk and vent to #because sometimes people don't have anyone. and just one person in their life can make a major impact #and like. its not exactly like therapy in that way. like i have the knowledge base to incorporate aspects of it in if wanted/needed #i think some people just need to be heard and that can help them move forward #and my goal isnt to like. transform you or whatever. there are people out there who need help but its hard to start #or it's difficult for them to access what they know they need #and i just want to meet people where theyre at and help them take enough small steps to being able to live how they want #like. harm reduction type shit. if you just need clean needles thats a step forward. and maybe its the only step they feel they need #to be happy. and now they can have a little bit of a safety.#like. a little more agency over how they want to live their life while improving quality of life #a step is a step man #anything that moves you toward the life you want counts #you deserve a win #the edible hit part way through so sorry if theres incomplete and tangential thoughts #also how can i do this shit for profesh??#i know similar jobs exist but theres a huge foundation of shit i just dont agree with built into them

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telesodalite · 16 days ago

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I've got like 5+ other creative projects i want/need to do, but holiday cookies gotta be made, lol. Started with almond cloud cookies <3

Ft. A lump of soon to be choc chip cookies

#frankly. id love to have my shit together enough to do those baking challenges through Dec #but uh... yeah. i dont have enough people to bake for yet to justify it to myself anyways lol #i need a baking/cooking tag in case anyone doesnt want to see these. uhhhhh #[teles cooks]#that'll do perhaps. for now at least #idk. technically this is a interests/hobby blog thing. and baking counts as both. so??#was thinking about the folks that come around for rbs or art. and instead get the odd ramble and baking stuff. like. welp :/#ya get what ya get ig. tis an everything blog. theres gonna be a bit of everything :]#also also. this is super totally unrelated but its been bothering me all day-#whyyyyyy do some of these younger queer kids wanna put everyone in a box againnnn #witnessed a debate about the validity of he/him lesbians again. and i wanted to claw my eyes out #like. augh. 1. read your history. 2. why does it matter so much?#maybe its part of the journey now or smth. idfk. back when i was in my early teens i just worried about going to hell and stuff #now its like. you gotta become a little gender cop to justify yourself to yourself now or smth #its wack. and as a technical he/him lesbian. whenever the fancy takes me. who gives a shit?? dont be an ass. too many of those these days #it makes me feel old somehow. like christ. chill out. theres so many other far more important problems than lesboys. stfu #its tiktok tho. aint it :/ usually is. augh #...anywho. uh? yay for the holidays? one last hurrah before we all have to buckle down for who knows what? yippee?#ok oven beeped. chit chat time over

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imabiscuitinthousandworlds · 1 month ago

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the endless curse of being utterly uninterested in romance in fandom spaces

#one (1) ship im interested in and its being overshadowed by another entirely nonsensical ship too #but in general. UGH #i get obsessed with two characters bc i love their interactions and relationship and maybe they way theyve come to care about each other #and then all the posts (and fics) i see are like 'oh they should kiss lol' NO!! THEY SHOULD NOT!!!#have you never had a meaningful non-romantic relationship????#look at them!! theyre best friends!! theyre siblings!! whatever is going on with them is beyond normal relationships!!#just making them kiss immediately turns the entire concept so so so boring #like sometimes theres romance thats well-done but usually it discards everything else about the characters in question #like. theyre pining yay. what else. what about their unspoken but undying devotion to each other #what about their being trapped by the narrative together #what about the way theyre basically one entity and cant even tell where one ends and the other begins #what about their eternal loyalty that theyll never admit to anyone #what about the way they trust each other with every secret but dont even need to say anything out loud #what about the way this is the only person they feel safe and understood with #what about the unwilling bond forged through long travels #what about the beauty of friendship #noooo theyre just stupid pining idiots. kissy kiss kiss and its all done #friendship!! is!! amazing!!!! and more than enough!!!!!!#and with that other ship i see commonly why are you ignoring literally EVERY piece of symbolism in the og work UGH #like. no hate to avid shippers and enjoyers of romance #but i do not see the appeal #kissing is way overrated imo and then having all of my fav character dynamics being reduced to essentially Nothing #seeing super cool character dynamics being completely torn from the context and butchered into some pining #im so so so tired of it #a biscuit's rambles

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skitskatdacat63 · 10 months ago

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Traje de luces are seriously peak design, they will literally never get old for me. Every once in a while I'll go on a hunt for more matador pics, and I feel like my art isn't even brushing the surface. Just the amount of poses, colors, situations I could draw is so endless WAUGH

Sometimes they're truly the only thing I want to draw :,) I want to live in a parallel universe where all our f1 boys are bullfighters instead

#my AUs are actually just me wanting to draw different clothes WHO KNEW #i mean yeah i write lore but 🥱#though its funny bcs i do really love racesuits but god i really have no interest in drawing them #on the other hand: 18th century fashion. traje de luces. hussars. IM EATING THEM !!!!!!!!!!#im looking at pics of this one famous matador and like. hes not that attractive objectively but god he looks so hot as a matador #and hes an older guy but im looking at these pics like MAN MY ART WILL NEVER BE THIS GOOD #like I feel like nothing i draw will ever be enough nothing will ever fufill the urge in me ig #and i make up my own poses a lot but then i look at actual matador pics and god theyre just so fucking good its insane #and i keep seeing new traje de luces like new colors and designs and man truly the best costume ever designed #just the fact that they can wear a beautiful peachy pink color and it still looks so good even soaked in blood #yeah idk i think i feel this way w all my AUs #no matter how muvh i draw i still never feel satisifed or fufilled #I NEED TO EAT THEM.#maybe ill reblog w some pics i downloaded lol they make me insane #lol just saying this cause theres other things i reslly should be working on #but im constantly like matador go brrrrrrrrr #especially since my last one got a lot of notes 🤭🤭#catie.rambling.txt

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orcelito · 3 months ago

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God, this is fucking crazy

So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.

Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?

I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.

I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.

It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.

So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha

#speculation nation #im literally shaking with nerves rn but i want this so so so badly #i remember. how to play. my arms are just so much stiffer than they used to be. and my nails. man im gonna have to trim my fucking nails #at least my left hand. kinda sucks bc i like the polish i have on rn but u cant have any long nail at all for violin.#i need to play two scales of my choosing. ascending and descending in three octaves.#recommended for violin is A C or E-flat major. of course i know A and C but i'd have to look up E-flat. never did much with flats in school #then again i have that One Two Three and a Half rhythm Down. thats how id often warm myself up.#start with the base G string and just do a scale up and down (one octave). go up to the next note. do it again.#again and again until i started running out of room on the E string. & if i was Real motivated maybe id start shifting to continue.#so all id need to do is find the E flat and id be good. it all follows the same pattern.#the harder challenge will be the solo or etude. 2-3 minutes in length. only *one day* to prepare.#i have NO IDEA what id even play. i'll look in my old sheet music to see if theres anything that might work #simple enough for me to relearn on such short notice. and interesting enough to be played solo #(since i was always in orchestras it's not always the best for solo playing. tho i was also first violin section a lot #which is Basically the same as playing solo lmaooo)#if i cant find anything i do have a few sheet music books i could look in. id hate to play smth too simple #but better simple and Right than trying to do something above my current skill level.#which IRKS ME bc once upon a time i was the 4th best violinist in my high school. out of nearly 2k students.#but thats what happens when u go years without consistent practice :p ur arm gets Stiff.#im. still nervous but also thinking about the music is making me EXCITED.#it's going to be a wild time prepping for this thing but itll be over in like 5 mins and i dont even have to worry about Passing #so long as i *do it* i should get into something. i just need to push myself. do it. get out there. *play your violin*#i already cried in a public bathroom for 10 mins today and im feeling emotional Again.#not quite crying emotional tho thankfully. just. i feel like i need to climb onto a rooftop and SCREAM!!!! but like in a good way.#so so so nervous but itll be so so so worth it. i could be in an orchestra again. finally. finally finally finally.#and i STILL NEED TO FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT.....!!!! hfkahfks today has been. a DAY.#just. keeps going through my head. i could be in an orchestra again. i could be in an orchestra again. at least one more time.

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infizero · 1 year ago

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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight #completely allosexual man #light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life #before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly #good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care #anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character #hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others #just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to #be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense #also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his #entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this #but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change #himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends #their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them #i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything #long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now #jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad #derailed my own damn post. idk swagever #will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to #such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like #that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows #he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house #and i thought that was such a cool analogy #ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings #serena.txt #death note posting #infizero.analysis

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phagodyke · 1 year ago

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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent #.diaries

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imflyingfish · 7 months ago

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I gotta be less hard on myself. Annoyingly i know that my best work comes from when i am hard on myself. But i keep stopping myself from doing things i want to due to perfectionism. Annoying.

#atm i feel like im just chasing interest after interest after interest #ive been working on my mimecraft base a lot but i have. complex feelings about the base atm #im happy with it and its paradise.#its too paradise that it makes me unsettled #which is nonsense its my place and my build #but i feel a lot of pressure to make it perfect #even though I and vee are the only ones who go there and i dont really care about the likes on my posts anymore #it still makes me feel. odd.#i love the work though i love the style and i love using it as a means to imagine a better world #atm im really enjoying just spending time on the server hanging out with vee #but i get into my own head a lot about the base #its not even just the base im talking about everything but the base is the example #i built a bit of a weird interior today i just went crazy with the terracotta and the plants and a pool of water #and i keep thinking on if it was the 'right' thing to do #and if i will be able to complete it properly to a high enough standard #it also doesnt help that ive improved over the course of the last 2 years in building #so now my house looks off and weird and theres trees that need to be taken down and paths that are over textured #but i find the process of doing it and the feeling of completion really deep and important #i dont know. i feel like im constantly in a battle of pushing myself to be better but limiting myself at the same time by having fun or sthn #i feel like i should be making youtube videos or at least prepping to #but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me #i dont know.#the annoying thing is pushing myself creatively has resulted in massive benefits for me lately creatively #partly i think why im feeling odd with the base atm is because ive suddenly gone for being barely able to play an hour a night to having all #the time in the world so its created a sudden influx in development #idk. this is rambly #fish talks #i want to download a minec@ft map and remove the suburban housing to replace with higher density properties becsuse ive been watching too #much socialist urban planning videos again and c1t1es skyl1nes just isnt cutting the cheese rn #thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging

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zugzwang4 · 1 year ago

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i have so many ocs in my brain with their own stories but I have nothing to do with them

#i speak #i need to make an rp server or something....... or join one....... i just wanna do something with them.......#valentine and co have the most worldbuilding and lore and stuff like i know exactly what i want to do with them i just dont have the #surrounding world built out enough where i feel confident making a server for the world where other people can make characters in it i need #to workshop it or something.............#then theres cassandra where i have 3 characters and general backstory and a little bit of world but that stories more apocalyptic and i don #see that setting working for a server with a bunch of people cause im mostly interested in the dynamic between the 3 characters #ive made for it #abigail and eve could fit in a lot of different worlds but thats moreso a contained story with just the two (subtle 3) of them #i also reeeeeeeeaaaaaaallly dont want to run a server on my own i would have to do so much work

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end-orfino · 1 year ago

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i feel like it's such a cruel joke from God that everything that makes me better also makes me feel worse.

#the attitude of 'no one else will do it if not you' along with 'you need to put in more than the bare min. because--#--this bare minimum does not make an effect on people tf is this'#was things i started thinking to motivate myself to draw more than headshots all the time & actually start putting the ideas i had onto--#paper and at least trying to tell my stories in anything more than a meaningless ramble #(i still ramble sometimes but i at least try to think of how to do it now)#and it worked #and im doing actual things now #but now this same logic is hurtful because it pushes me to make more&more&more #just to get my ideas out there #bcs just saying the idea out loud isnt enough. people will not be interested in just listening to that #i need to like make a drawing or something #and theres so many ideas and i cant make something for all of them but IM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THAT.#im the only one. and i should be the only one because getting someone else to do so is 1. not possible 2. shameful.#like oooohhh can you make this idea i had real because i cant. jesus christ id rather fall into the ground.#please dont internalize this btw. this isnt a good attitude to have. not at all!!#but now im stuck in this hell because its the only way i get to keep going #the only way im capable of doing anything and being productive is by forcing myself to do so. by pulling myself up by strings #and beating myself up into what i want to do #i will not do it if i wont force myself to.#...does this classify as executive dysfunction?#i never thought it did but #now that i phrased it that way #god i wish i had the balls to ask my parents for therapy #BY THE WAY TO CLARIFY #'DOING THINGS'? IN THIS CONTEXT?#MEANS LIKE. MAKING SHITPOSTS.#SOMETIMES MAKING COMICS OR WRITING A ONE SHOT BUT I STILL STRUGGLE WITH THAT TO THIS DAY.#IT WAS MOSTLY LITERALLY DRAWING A DOODLE COMIC INSTEAD OF WRITING SOMETHING IN A DIALOGUE FORM #BECAUSE DIALOGUES DIDNT CHANNEL WHAT I WANTED TO SHOW RIGHT AND SHITPOST COMICS MADE IT MORE INTERESTING TOO.#oh yeah and theres a thing to be said about how so much for this if not all is just so that other people would look at it.

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faebriel · 2 years ago

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my most controversial star wars opinion is that i think lux bonteri is not a horrible concept per se but perhaps underutilised

#by underutilised i mean not pointed in the right direction. 2 episodes and 1 4-ep arc is enough for him i think #yes ik hes annoying but it is so fucking funny to me for ahsoka to have that one random friend who definitely went to a prep school #or something and also was literally a separatist until he decided hes going to go rogue now and make the worst choices ever #like either kill the will they wont they early OR cut it entirely and they can be so funny. we are in HOT SPACE what are you DOING HERE #you are going to DIE and the guys like yes thats the plan ^-^ you see ive fallen into business with a very powerful man ahsoka you might #have heard of him. goes by the name of /hondo/. and ahsoka does the biggest fucking sigh ever #cut the kiss cut the bullshit keep the funny. and ahsoka needs more friends her age anyway #anyway i think im just soft on him bc his entry into the show meant a fucking respite from Other Ships I Really Didn't Like In TCW FFNet #(femslash was there but not as big of a presence yet unfortunately)#i dont blame ppl who hate him bc a friend in need is his problematic arc but truly hand me a spanner i can fix him #lesbian and her momentary comp het bestie......she crashed on his couch at least once post order 66 #oh and UNFRIDGE STEELA she should have been head of onderon or something. so bullshit #as he is in canon he feels like wasted space for ahsokas character. theres no point in giving her any love interest while shes in the order #and barriss riyo and the s7 gals are all better choices anyway #and you cant pull the 'well some separatists are just normal' card after s3 bc he also wants to kill dooku like. at least be funny!#or try to set up whatever the hell ahsoka does between s7 and rebels! idk man

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