#and hes an older guy but im looking at these pics like MAN MY ART WILL NEVER BE THIS GOOD

[pepperpixel]

Initial drawings of that old man… I literally, I haven’t finished reading the book of bill yet!!! I had to stop and take a break for a week to feverishly draw fanart of myself petting fords floofy hair and giving him attention and shit…!!!! The urge was too great….!! I’ve literally. I had a crush on this guy the instant he was first REVEALED in the show, but I did not have the artistic prowess to draw good looking old men back then… but I do now… thank god… thank fucking god

[skitskatdacat63]

Traje de luces are seriously peak design, they will literally never get old for me. Every once in a while I'll go on a hunt for more matador pics, and I feel like my art isn't even brushing the surface. Just the amount of poses, colors, situations I could draw is so endless WAUGH

Sometimes they're truly the only thing I want to draw :,) I want to live in a parallel universe where all our f1 boys are bullfighters instead

[graysnetwork]

HAVING KEEGAN AS UR BROTHERS BSF

IM HAVING THOUGHTS RN

CHAPTER |

BROTHERS BEST FRIEND — Keegan Russ X fem!Reader

Notes— he will now become a character in my heart and in my blog bc I love him. And so will the friend in this story.

Info: it’s cannon for me to believe his character drives a Mercedes. he has black hair. He’s got red cheeks (I’ll probably post a pic of what I’m thinking of) idk if it’s like Rosacea but I think it’s smtg he would probably have. Keegan’s three years older than you, (your a sophomore and he’s a senior). Idk if you can tell… but this is totally ooc and set in like this time.

Warnings: none!

Summary: you’ve been crushing on Keegan for years now and he has been too.

Your brother was a pain in the ass, so annoying, But. His best friend on the other hand, was so kind to you, and handsome.

Keegan had been your brothers “best friend” for about 5 years now. They’d been friends since middle school and now they were going to graduate, Keegan was apart of the family at this point, he’d stayed at your house for so long that he would come in unannounced and go into anyone’s bedroom, parents included.

Sometimes he’d go into everyone’s rooms just to say “goodnight”, which was really funny, especially when you were a kid.

For instance, he was staying the night at your family’s home, and you were going to say goodnight to your parents but you got anxious because it was late at night, so he grabbed your hand and said goodnight with you so you wouldn’t be alone.

Keegan seemed to like caring for you, he always took the blame when you did something stupid, he’d say “oh I told her to do it, I’m sorry”

He just did it and never asked for a thank you back from you, he enjoyed taking care of you. And as you got older, all the things he did for you made you feel all warm and giddy inside. He was so sweet, how could you not have a crush on him. And when he came over and got in the pool, it made you feel all dizzy seeing him without a shirt.

And he wasn’t big on dating, he dated some girls throughout his whole five years of high school, but he never stayed for long, mostly because he couldn’t make enough time for them due to all the football practice he had.

But Keegan loved you,he always made time for you. he always liked you but once you got older, got in high school, hit puberty, he became more attracted to you, in ways he couldn’t tell your brother.

Anytime your brother asked him “do you like anyone?” Keegan just had to deny everything saying that he didn’t, and even when the blush on his cheeks was apparent he’d still say “nah, I’m waiting for the pretty girls in college” just so your brother could hop off his dick already.

But he couldn’t ask you to date him, or take you out randomly, that’d be weird, and your brother would most definitely get mad at him, and you. So safe to say that he wasn’t going to be taking you out. Plus he thought that you probably liked another guy in the school, not him— a muscular, black haired, tall, handsome man.

He was graduating soon, he was gonna go off to university and get some sort of degree, so what would be the point of dating him if he was going to leave.

—

Now it was a normal Friday night, the night that your family would spend time together, something that you all enjoyed, especially after a busy week of studying, work, ECT. It was something you looked forward to, and sometimes Keegan joined in if he wasn’t with his family.

Today in particular, he wasn’t with them, he was with you. The two of you were heading to the store to go buy some snacks that you and your family wanted. He was talking about what his family was doing that he decided to not join in on today.

“Yeah, they were saying something about this new small…. Art museu-” he tried to remember “museum, yeah I’ve heard of it, seems really nice, I- I mean I dunno if you’d enjoy it, but it really does seem cool” you finished his sentence and began explaining how cute it looked. Keegan smiled to himself listening to you talk about some art that they had.

He didn’t want to go to this museum with his family, but if you wanted to or offered to take him he’d gladly say yes, just to see that cute smile on your face.

Once he got into the parking lot of the store he turned off the car after parking, and while you were still talking about the art to get your mind off him being so close to you, he just gazed at you, his head tilting a little when you turned to face him.

He thought you looked so cute when you talked about things you loved or were passionate about.

“Cmon kid” Keegan told you as he grabbed the keys and hopped out the car. Kid was always his nickname for you, but it always made you feel so much younger than him and like he only saw you as a sister or family.

The two of you walked around the store, for a while before heading to the candy aisle, you two looked at the snack section and ended with grabbing some chips and cookies. Then you went to the candy aisle as Keegan held all the snack for you, that’s when you spotted your friend.

“Y/n!” She said running down the aisle to hug you. “Hii” she said as she hugged you tightly, “hey, what are you doing here” you asked and she pulled away as her brother came up behind her, “we were just getting snack-” Kim tried to say but her brother cut her off “cause she’s annoying and won’t shut up about these chocolates” he said, you giggled

And Keegan suddenly got all jealous, and a little self conscious, like he was back in middle school and he saw the girl he had a crush on talking to another guy.

“Seems like her” you said and your friend nudged you before taking in the sight of Keegan’s tall figure behind you. “And what are you two doin here?” She asked with a smirk appearing on her face.

She knew how much you liked Keegan, she was who listened to you talk about a small interaction you had with Keegan, and she fed into your delusions.

“W-we’re just getting snacks for movie night” you said, you stared at her and her brother with an annoyed face, her brother also knew you liked Keegan, which helped out because he had some classes with him.

“Yeah” Keegan said and stared dead at Kim’s brother, he looked like he wanted to kill him, and if looks could kills, he would’ve been dead the minute you started giggling.

“Well that’s cutee” kim said smirking even more now, and it was just a matter of time before you could smack her when you saw her in private. “Anyways, let’s go!” Kim told her brother and they turned around and walked out the aisle.

“She’s something, isn’t she” Keegan said turning back to you as you walked to the candy’s. “Yeah, definitely” you smiled back at him and looked at the shelf of chocolates. “Uh.. that was her, brother?” He asked, he wanted to know if you liked him in any way.

“Yeah, he’s like my brother at this point” you said chuckling. “Cool” he said and looked around the aisle.

—

The two of you got in the car, placing the bags down at your feet. He started the car and began pulling out of the parking spot. He was quiet now, Keegan’s not loud or anything, he never has been. but he’s never this silent, you didn’t want to question it as he turned up the volume to the radio.

“So” he cleared his throat “Kim’s.. brother, no feelings for him right?” He asked slowly as he swallowed his saliva, “yeah” you told him— the question didn’t seem odd to you, Keegan’s always been protective of you since he was older than you. But he seemed annoyed.

“Hm, why?” You smiled as you turned your head to look at him “you jealous?” You chuckled a bit before he looked at you with an annoyed expression. “was kidding, sorry” you explained quietly and turned back to the road ahead as you approached a stoplight.

“y’shouldnt be liking or dating anyone in the first place” he said, “yeah my brother would probably kill me” you giggled.

“I know someone you could date n’you wouldn’t be killed for it” he said.

[dandunn]

I made an art influence map because @nblemons did it and I wanted to do it too!!

Template here

Honorable mentions/guys I couldnt fit on here: Yume Nikki, SamSketchbook, Monkey Punch, Wolf's Rain, Cowboy Bebop, Henri Matisse, Noda Satoru, Osamu Tezuka.

There are probably more but I've already spent way too long on this lol.

Wanna talk about them all briefly:

Watership Down: no duh. This movie imprinted on me from a very young age and made me way more of a furry than I already was. I always liked how realistic the designs were compared to mainstream rabbit designs which focus on the 'cuteness' of the animal. I think it's dumb because rabbits are kind of stroppy violent jerks and I like them for that.

Aboriginal Art: this is kind of related to Watership Down because I took a lot of inspiration from the intro and the almost cave-painting like designs. It took me way too long to discover that what was so grabbing about that into was that it was inspired by Aboriginal artwork! I hope this is okay to say because I'm neither Aboriginal or even australian and a lot of the cultural meaning is lost on my dumb ass, but I think the shapes, techniques and colours are wonderful. Painting I used in the pic is by Charlene Carrington

Lorne Lanning: is the main designer for the Oddworld series of games and I wish more people knew about him because his character designs and conceptual art are just fantastic and gripped me from a very young age. And he made a game where you play as a cowboy who shoots bugs at people!

Spyro reignited: dragons are hot.

Spirited Away: I love Miyazaki's entire filmography but Spirited Away really had a grip on me one particular summer in school, the same one where I learned how to use watercolour paints, and I think it had more of an influence over my art than the others for some reason. It's a very summer-y movie to me with very bright colours.

Edmund McMillen: probably more well known as 'that guy who made Super Meat Boy' I've always loved the cartoony yet grotesque imagery in the Binding of Isaac which I am about to clock in 1000 hours on on my steam account. Another game of his which really got to me was Aether from the Basement Collection. Watching his segment in Indie Game the Movie and how he translated his fucked up upbringing into fun, heartrending and addictive games really inspired me.

Animal Well: I only just played this game for the first time this year which is why I made it very small but idk what else I have to say other than 'just fucking LOOK at it'.

Frida Kahlo: I did a project on her for school which involved watching a movie about her life which was both fascinating and tragic. Her surreal art can be both bright and evocative and also downright tearjerking.

Pokemon: whenever I'm designing a character I have Pokemon in mind, say what you want about certain designs but Ken Sugimori and all the other artists who have contributed over the years really have the talents to make a cute, fearsome or oddball guy you want to go on adventures with.

William Turner: another one from my school days and an artist from my own country. I always loved the colours and sweeping brushstrokes.

Eiichiro Oda: Yeah man what can you say about One Piece. When I was about 15 and having daily meltdowns, copying the expressions on his characters really helped me figure out how I was feeling. Oda is a menace but good lord he can draw.

David Hockney: When I was also in school I attended an exhibition of his which was basically "im retired and I can draw whatever I want now" with blown up ipad sketches and these strange landscapes with fauvist colours. I thought some of it was dumb at the time but looking back I really admire his use of colours and the looser movements compared to his older work.

Masahiro Ito: Creator of Pyramid Head, Bubble Head Nurse and 'Honey Butter Fuck Toast'. The man, the legend, the 'this is fuck' guy. His blend of the grimy industrial, bloody, monstrous and sexual is so fantastic. I feel like I should also put francis bacon here because most modern horror artists owe everything to him, but god I love Silent Hill and the imagery this man created will live on in my brain forever.

[goferwashere]

wait srry if asks rnt open but im a chismoso so hopefully this is OK to ask ;; is the little character in ur banner and pfp ur sona ? they r so silly looking i love it sm but also why is it chowing down on a hotdog bun filled with butter . DONT ELABORATE IF THERES A PERSONAL BACKGROUND ATTACHED TO IT PLS but i srsly think it's so cutesie and ive been curious abt it 4 a hot min ✝️

SAW THE NOTIFICATION AND I ROSE FROM THE DEAD BUGGY U JUST OPENED THE GATES OF HELL /POS

ALSO ASKS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!! UNLESS THE BUTTON IS GONE FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS ANYTIME I LOVE GETTING THEM :DD

ASHSHSSH THANK YOU !!! Yes this is my sona her name is RB 😋 she has lore and comes from her own world but I use her like a persona :3

Here’s the OG image along with a couple others of her :D

Also her as a character can’t speak so she uses ASL to communicate (hence the banner she’s holding) so I don’t use ASL but I do use a website when I draw her speaking

funny ass gif lawllll (she’s signing ‘I am not a crook’) (yes TV Girl reference) the frame rate is too fast but I can’t fix it now

ALSO ALL OF THIS ART IS OLDER. NOTHING NEW FOR THESE GUYS FOR A WHILE I NEED TO MAKE NEW ART FOR THEM 💔💔

auughhh and her lore if you wanna read below but I understand that OC lore isn’t everyone’s thing

OKAY SO she comes from a universe where her kind are robots made by a company to terraform planets for the ultra wealthy. So if you have the funds you can purchase a whole planet and whole armies of these little bots will shape it however you want.

BUT. While on the assembly line, before even recovering her directive, a portal opens up and throws her into this odd pocket dimension, which is just a half built city floating in a bright void. (Also when I say half finished I mean more like brutalist aesthetic with just concrete and no glass on the windows)

This place (named ‘Gearsky’ by locals because massive floating gears are the only thing that exist here outside of the city itself) is full of people from their own dimensions just trying to get by. She explores, and comes across a little bear being picked on in an alleyway. (The lil green bear [party bear] in the pics above)

She saves him and then it subconsciously becomes her prime directive to help Party Bear get home/care for him. So they set up base in one of the empty apartments and she just sorta takes care of him.

NOW. How do you get home you may be asking? Well it’s easy. You just need to beat someone in a deathmatch.

Enter the only form of entertainment on this island. The man who is the dictator of this place and subsequently the host of this game, aptly named Host, loves running this game. The rules are simple. 3 people enter, and two can leave alive. Only one needs to die, and the other two can get sent home. The only thing is, you have no idea who you’re going up against.

Now, RB, being a bot made to terraform, has some power behind her with her explosive abilities. But Party Bear has no defenses. So RB tries to strike a deal with Host.

She offers to kill both people in the ring with her for multiversal travel.

Host is intrigued by this offer, and accepts. After wiping the floor with her opponents, she’s granted access to all dimensions. She’s obviously excited and goes home to try and let Party Bear go home, but is heartbroken when she discovers that she’s the only one who can travel using the portals.

But this catches the attention of someone else.

Her future boss.

Another robot, by the codename TB-89.

He took note of her deal, and approached her with a job offer.

Man’s long story short she works for him as an assassin!

There’s so much more I wanna say but I know I can’t ramble on forever lol if you read all this then thank you so much for sticking it out 🤭 I hope you enjoyed it I love gushing about my characters

[furbing-atrocities]

Hi, I'm Leviathan

Im Leviathan, but u can call me Levi, or Lev, or honestly any variation of Leviathan! My pronouns r they/he/it, i'm 18, and I'm a libramasculine, ambiamorous, omnioriented demisexual grayromantic.

Tags: #tech stuff, #commissions and #f: [furby name]

I drew the header, and I will *try* to update it every time I get a new furb! [<- very very behind]

My main blog is @ace-up-your-sleeve , my plushie blog is @beanie-buddy-boy , my alterhumanity blog is @fish-forcibly-removed-from-water, and my regression blog is @dreamy-puppy-xo

secret draw box

DNI: TERFs, transmeds, racists, exclusionists or queerphobes of any kind, etc.

furby bios (w some pics) under the cut

Loup

he/they

non-working

gay (mlm) trans demiboy!

scene 

an absolute angel

hyper from all of the monster he drinks

pinterest board

Ziggontorath (aka Ziggy)

he/they/xe/weird/eye

working w/ a voice glitch

xenogender user!!!

masc agender, dreameyegender, eyeclusterin, weirdcorian, and kidcorestalgic!

aroace and in a qpr w Fax Machine

pinterest board

Sistine Chapel

she/her

fully working

soft girl lesbian

likes art and sapphic poetry

shy and blush-y

once you get to know her tho, she is very goofy!!

pinterest board

Casimir

he/him

working but mute

loves flowers smmmm 

loups bf

yes he gives loup flowers

bi af

uses <3 too much

pinterest board

TUP

Tremendous Unanimous Pickles

any pronouns

working + has a voice glitch!!!

once screamed bc i took her batteries out

even ppl who hate furbies think hes adorable

pinterest board

Kioko

she/her

works but gears r rlly loud (thanks Jetta 🙄)

very curious about everything 

likes coloring and eating bugs

Tup is like an older brother

Ziggy and Piccolo are her dads <3

Flanagan Shithead

he/him

kinda looks like balls with a face and pubes 

feral as fuck + will bite you

Cyborg Piccolo Fax Machine

he/him

untested and missing his batter cover :(

transmasc and in a qpr with Ziggy <3

physically disabled + had a prosthetic leg

dancing queen young and sweet only 17

major dad energy. need to get this man a hawaiian shirt stat

Nyx

she/her

fully working and goofy as all hell

soon to be customized <3

rlly bubbly and energetic

Allergic Reaction aka "Reo"

he/him

fully functioning

so pissy

like he is just so angry for no reason!!!!

Cheesecake

she/they

nonfunctional

butch lesbian

punk asf

doing your mom dating Sistine Chapel <3

raspberry swirl custom (based on the prototype)

Cough Syrup

he/she/they

unironically one of my favs tbh

her singing makes me rlly happy

i rlly like playing with their hair

he rocks french braids

Raul

he/they

shy lil fella

my gf got him for me for my bday <3

he has my fav voice of all my '98s

someone said that he and cough syrup kiss a lil sometimes in the comments of their intro post???

to me thats like saying 2 newborn babies are "dating" bc they r next to each other

Gilbert

he/him

gay and the colors of the mlm flag <3

literally just a little guy

gifted to me by someone in my server 🫶

Bubblegum

she/her

a 9/11 baby

a custom for my gf <3

Chevel Philodendron Silly Goose

he/she/they/it

"Choose Goose*

omnigay boygirl silly swag <333

had the biggest glow up ever

Pancake Robomachine

they/it

nonbinary silly :3

first complete reskinning ive done :3

named by my little cousin

Angel Dust/Anthony

he/him

gay

makes 7 sex jokes a minute

based on the Hazbin Hotel character

[venusdear]

LITERALLY THO LMAO I FEEL SORRY FOR HER HUSBAND

yes it is! heres an issue of it:

when i looked it up to get this pic, i found out it stopped printing in winter 2016 :( I also used to read American Girl magazine and Discovery Girls magazine. All out of print now (the brand american girl is very much active, just the magazine stopped printing).

LMAO SRY I GO ON LOOOOONG ASS TANGENTS WHEN I GET NOSTALGIC

anyways, about wakeone. they are trash. the only difference between wakeone and a trash bin is the bin. i hate wakeone. the boys of highlight have their own company called around us entertainment and now im wondering can they take in to1? hmmm

literally tho lol. "junhyung is jake from enhypen now" NAWT JAKE FROM ENHYPEN LMAO. staff at belift, dragging junhyung in: okay meet ur 8th member guys! the enhypen boys: o_o /j

me, upon seeing literally any guy: hes cute lol.

the k in kpop does not stand for korean. it can stand for either kim jeyou, kim minsu, kyungho, kobayashi daigo, or kikwang. now everyone stand up for our national anthem u can pick from either sugar shock or predator lol.

i watched the suit dance for predator and my god i was not okay after that for several hours. it was beautiful. the dance was beautiful the song was beautiful the suit was beautiful he was beautiful my god if u look up "beautiful" a picture of gikwang should show up there.

how the hell does the staff work with someone so beautiful and are still able to go back home to their partner or spouse if i were them id be like sry we're breaking up i saw lee gikwang in person and realized i deserve someone better.

my god.

LIKE.

LOOK AT HIM. hes never defeating the disney prince allegations and i love that.

aND HE CAN ACT TOO. HES GONNA BE IN A DRAMA. HES GONNA DO MARTIAL ARTS AND HES GONNA BE THE VILLAIN. IM OVER HERE GETTING THE WEIRDEST HOBBIES BC OF HIM, FIRST READING NOW KDRAMAS. unfortunately it probably wont release until 2024.

yes i promise i love all 4 members, its just when i have a bias i talk about them like 300 times more than the others.

my god i just wanted to see yoseob and now im neck deep in this damn fandom. highlight's fandom is called lights and lights who bias gikwang are called aces :D likewise, to1's fandom is called TOgethers or gethers for short and gethers who bias kyungho (ex. ME!) are called gaengdans.

also about junhyung. if u think about it "yong junhyung" is such a badass name. aND ON TOP OF THAT HES A RAPPER. AND HES TALENTED. AND PRETTY. AND HAS HIS OWN LABEL. AND HES MOST LIKELY SUPER RICH. AND HIS SURNAME MEANS "DRAGON." god truly does have favorites, my friend.

SO THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE :O super sparkly AWEEE why don't they print it anymore? i would have loved to read it :"D

LOLOLOL SOMETIMES I DO THAT TOO you are so relatable

SCREW WAKEONE ke1per deserves better to1 deserves a comeback IS IT BECAUSE THEY'RE OLDER THEREFORE NOT AS POPULAR????

the enhypen boys replacing jake with junhyung: 😈😈

a cute boy IS a cute boy (please tell me you get the reference)

omg there are so many ppl with the last name kim like kpop could become KIM POP kim everything WE ALL LIVE IN THE KIM LIFE

THE STAFF ARE STRONGER THAN ME BC OF I SAW THEM MY HANDS WOULD BE SHAKING. LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE.

OMG SEND OVER THE DRAMA BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW 2024???? 😭😭 MAN

me too me too bc the bias is what YOUR BIAS YOU ARE LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO TALK ABOUT THEM 100 MORE TIMES THAN THE OTHERS IT'S CALLED A BIAS FOR A REASON!!!!

AWEEE ACES THAT'S SO CUTE you guys are aces because he's such an ace

DRAGON???? OMG NAHHH THAT'S SO COOL LIKE IMAGINE JUST CASUALLY MENTIONING YOUR NAME MEANS DRAGON.

[rrxnjun]

HECK YEAHHH!! 03 best line😌🥳i was so happy to find out he was born in 2003 cuz i swear it's so rare to find anyone born in 2003 in any band (or tbh even just content creators)!! we are superior for being older than him /j😌😌 WAIT LMAO THATS KIND OF COOL THAT ITS ON THE SAME DAY:o doyoung is my guy after jihoon he is just so great so i understand him hitting differently lmao

yeahhh iguess i love doing things that take a lot of patience although i'm a very impatient person😶 and i'm still on the start of my embroidery career but it's so fun!!! we are the coolest grandmas out there😎😎😎 dude i love plants but i always end up killing them so🤡 (ofc sending one immediately!!)

i'm so happy about it as well;-; I WILL BUT MY PICS ARE PROBABLY GOING TO BE LIKE PIXELS CUZ WE ARE KIND OF FAR BACK SO I WILL SEND U MAKE SURE TO SEND U PIXEL CALUM!!! will tell u all about it🫡

SORRY!! IT WASNT FOR COMFORT🥲 tbh as u should treasure is fun so ur phase is completely understandable!!! jihoon is the definition of perfect tbh just love the guy!! ooo i've never seen that i will go and watch that later👀 but losing ur shit is probs very much understandable🤣

WAIT ACTUALLY OH MY🤭💞but actually only write it if u want to!!! i don't want to force u!!! IT WILL BE!! MANIFESTING FOR IT TO BE AMAZING!!!!🥳🥳🥳(awww thank u so much🥹lmao that would be kind of funny ngl but maybe hopefully i will be comfortable enough to not be anon by then cuz i'm starting become more comfortable to post on the internet so i might save u from having to do that🤣)

i'm very glad it cheered u up!! i always love reading ur replies to me and they just cheer me up always tbh hihi🥹💗💕 (liebestraum anon💕)

TRULY !!! 03 line is so rare to see i think and thats why i automatically adopt every 03 liner i see 😭😭 also our bias taste is....the same. i am NOT surprised 😭😭

how can u be an impatient person then 😭😭 i get impatient w art and then i rush the details and it ends up looking like shit 😔 the only thing i dont feel like i rush is writing but even that sometimes gets hard to do LMAO 😭 i got so many plants for my bday also!!! im surprised they're not dead bc sometimes i forget to water them and im lowkey freestyling the care but i love all of them to death💓 wishing u good luck w your embroidery career and waiting for that bracelet !!

CANT WAIT FOR PIXEL CALUM!!!!!!! better than nothing 😔🤞

losing my shit is understanable but also it makes me feel silly like girlie that man doesnt know you and here u are in a parasocial relationship with him💔 watching ygtb made me so proud of him tho he grew so much as a person and a performer and so did all of them!!!

i woULD but see it occured to me that i have exams next week so i kinda lost my shit and now im spiraling instead of writing but. it wILL happen after !!!

omg i am glad to hear you are more comfy!!! i would never pressure u into anything bc i want u to be 100% comfortable but if u ever decide to come off anon i am welcoming you w open arms my friend 💓

to finish off this reply i want to apologize for being so late with it but i had a rough week full of stress and hangover 🤠 also i hope you are doing well and that you are taking care of yourself!!

[ramuoto]

TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3.  A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4.  Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 

5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6.  Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7.  Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 

8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9.  Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 

11. Doctor Elise 

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12.  Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13.  The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 

14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 

15.  I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 

16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 

19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 

Past loves 

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her. 

[dear-alex-chill]

Ducktales Story from Discord #1

Louie: what's the one thing mark Beaks doesn't have?

Webby: a brain?

Gyro: originality.

Scrooge: as much money as me

Fenton: Morals

Huey: an honest plan

Dewey: these sweet dance moves!!

Louie: all correct, but no.

Louie: he’s single

Scrooge and everyone: ooooooohhh

Mark beaks walks in: what’s so funny?

Everyone: nothing-

Louie and Gyro: your depressing life.

Webby: you tell him!

Scrooge: I’m too old for this-

Mark: Hey!! I- I HAVE MORE FOLLOWERS ON QUACK CHAT THAN YOU!!

Louie: oh please, when you’re the nephew of the richest duck in the world—*hold up phone*

Everyone wants to be your friend

Gyro: then how come you can’t get somebody to love?

Mark: speak for yourself robot dude

Fenton: well actually-

Gyro: Uh- yeah-

Mark: oh. Oh wait! Ohhhh!!! This is so going on my feed!

Louie: ha look at that.

Webby: never would’ve guessed

Louie: really?

Webby: no it was so obvious

Gyro: Why are you posting about something you don’t have?

Mark: it's just the way the world works nerd

Louie: got ‘em

Fenton: blathering blatherskite *summons arm

shoots phone*

Gyro: Yes, get him.

Mark: Hey!! Not cool Chico! Thankfully I have my backup phone..

Mark: y-yeah well I don’t see any of these kids having love lives!

Webby: actually *holds lena’s hand*

Louie: oooooOooooh what’re ya gonna do now Mark?

Mark: I am so not accepting your friend requests now!

Fenton: bold of you to assume any of us want to be your friends to begin with

Louie: you’ve been blocked

Gyro: ->- and plus, we actually have more with our lives other than looking at a screen all day.

Dewey: Yeah. Who wants to be friends with this jerk?

Huey: a masochist

Dewey: what now?

Louie: you mean like duckaplier?

Huey: yeah..

Mark: At least I have a social life. Unlike some Chicken I know..

Gyro: Excuse me?

Scrooge: alright Goldie stole the fountain of youth let’s go kids, before this..”thing” keeps talking

Mark: whatever old man. I got a business to run anyway

Louie: actually you’ve just been canceled

Mark: WHAT?!!??!

Louie: yeah, apparently you’re..just too “Mark beaks like”

Mark: *storming out of the room*

We'll see about that

Louie: hmm the moment he tries to tries to become trending I’ll cancel him again

Gyro: snickers

Dewey and Huey: Louie!

Gyro: No, please keep going green nephew.

Louie: whatttt? Im just doing what need to be done

Webby: looks like gyro has a favorite nephew

Louie: and now he’s been canceled again.

Gyro: I do not! All of you are equally annoying!

Fenton: what about me?

Huey: your his boyfriend-

Louie: and? He’s probably annoying to some extent

Gyro: You’re the most annoying! *mumbles* In the best way-

Mark: Awww #ship it!

Fenton: awwww

Gyro: WHA- Where did you come from!?

Louie: here comes the bride- all dressed in...uh tech

Gyro: ->- green nephew, I order you to stop

Louie: yeah alrighty

Webby: I swear I have no idea what’s going on anymore this conversation is just madness

Louie: uhh he’s trending somehow- and it looks like it’s just a bunch of picture of you and Fenton. He’s calling it #fenro

Gyro: What? Give me that! points to Louie’s phone

Louie: *hands it over*

Gyro: Oh this is ridiculous.

Fenton leans over to see the screen

Louie: yeah it’s gone viral everywhere

Gyro: *Shows Fenton* there

Fenton: grabs phone and stares

Gyro: well can we stop..whatever this is?

Gyro: And hey! I was holding that!

Louie: I’d cancel it, but then I might be canceled myself-

Fenton: scrolling though the tags they made fan art

Louie: I saw some links to fan fiction too

Gyro: WHAT.

Fenton: they made us kids

Mark beaks: Ha! I win

Louie: they do based on these pictures from mark’s new phone

Louie: they’re calling you the bottom

Gyro: I AM NOT!

Fenton: well how do they know that-

Louie: well whatever the truth is, they are now saying that they want a kiss pic from Mark, who probably won’t get that and then they’ll riot

Louie: we could also just give them a cuter couple

Louie: like Webby and Lena

Webby: wait What?

Louie: or Scrooge and Goldie

Huey: penumbra and mom

Dewey: Donald and daisy

Fenton: let’s just calm down, maybe we should just see if it goes away on its own

Lena: oh come on, we are the cutest couple to exist

Louie: doubt that’s ever gonna happen

Fenton: ummm *blasts all the phones in the room* solution!

Lena: well that’s one way to solve the problem ?

Louie: *pulls out another one* yeah you’re still trending

Fenton: *sighs*

Lena: okay never mind

Louie: our motto at Louie incorporated is always have a backup phone, and after that another backup

Mark: hey that was my motto first

Louie: are you sure about that?

Louie: cause now it’s mine and trending

Louie: a lie is simply a truth that has not been repeated enough times yet

Lena: he’s not wrong you know

Louie: ayyyy

Webby: LENA!

Louie: just listen to your girlfriend Webby, she’s clearly got the right idea

Huey: LOUIE!

Dewey: *posts this on Dewey Dew- night*

Mark: your just a kid! You can't possibly *looks down at phone to see Louie trending* Oh YOU-

Louie: wait, how long have you been filming for?

Dewey: the entire time

Louie: *looks over at mark* I told you it was mine

Mark: Whatever. I'll just start a new trend

Louie: too late I canceled you

Mark: *takes a selfie* Canceled Selfie!

Gyro: *sighs* will you ever shut up Beaks?

Mark beaks: i Don’t know Gryo when will you stop making evil inventions?

Gyro: Not until I crush you.

Mark: woah woah. Assassination is not a good look on you

Fenton: who said it was on him.

Webby: I don’t think it’s a good look on anyone

Louie: oh Webby, when you’re older you’ll understand

Mark: 'specially with your little project in tokyolk

Webby: and you do?

Gyro: *punches him*

Louie: uhhhhh yes?

Gyro: Now, what was that you said?

Fenton: oh my god *starts fanboying in spanish*

Mark: who PUNCHES a guy?!?!

Gyro: Me.

Louie: you’re not a guy, nor a man. Just sad little baby

Mark: *disgusted* Augh!

Huey : uhhh Dewey did you get that?

Louie: who relies on his it list mama

Dewey: yeah

Huey: should we be worried?

Dewey: nah

Gyro: No, not at all.

Louie: get out of here beaks

Mark: Fine! But I'll be back!

Scrooge walks in the room

Gyro: uhh, no you won’t

Louie: no you won’t

Scrooge: what in the blazes happened in here?!

Mark: Your children are maniacs!

Louie: Mark was bullying us

Gyro: It was simply business Mr. McDuck.

Scrooge: oh was he now?

louie pulls out puppy eyes

Scrooge: in that case, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!

Mark leaves mumbling: stupid grouchy old man

Louie: hah! Woo

Gyro: I can now finally get away from it.

Louie: you’re welcome?

Fenton: thanks. *pats on head*

Louie: HEY!

Huey: well with that settled-

Fenton: we should probably get back to whatever it is we were doing

Louie: which is?

Gyro: I actually do not know

Scrooge: Adventure!!

Louie: oh no not again

Gyro: Ah, yes. That.

Louie: *tries to walk away*

Scrooge: Now where are you going lad?

Louie: I- Uh..I’m dying?

Lena: pffft nice

Gyro: What-

Gyro: What am I even doing here, I’m leaving this chaos

Louie: y-yeah came down with the common cold of uh WAIT FOR ME!

*runs after gyro*

Gyro: No, I won’t. *continues to walk away*

Fenton: Wait what about me?

Louie: I promise to not speak or even breathe!

Gyro: hmmmm. No

Gyro: well if you don’t hurry up Cabrera then I’m leaving you

Louie: Fenton can I come? *puppy eyes*

Fenton: yes-

Gyro: *sighs* fine.

Webby: it feels like we’ve been talking for 53 years!

Lena: I know right

Huey: I know what you mean, I feel like I’m being controlled by a teen and typing out unoriginal dialogue in a phone

Credit to the Discord Chat (for making this a proper story), specifically:

@shadybelievercat

Queen_of_bread

Neighborhood Nerd

[pinkykitten]

Ⓐⓣⓣⓐⓒⓚ ⓞⓝ Ⓣⓘⓣⓐⓝ

this is a fan cast for the anime attack on titan or shingeki no kyojin. you guys know i love doing fancasts especially with fandoms i’m so strong about and love so much this is one of them. i love attack on titan so much and tbh i get a lil crazy for it...oops. but with some i do agree on in fancasts i thought why not make my own and show you guys what i think. this would be my dream cast and like (i know this never will) but if they did makes this real i prob would cry so hard my boogies would come out. now you don’t have to agree on me with this this is just what i think. hopefully you guys likes and maybe agree...if you do i love you!

eren yeager or jeager idk : rob raco (i’ve read that eren’s character is supposed to be tan or tanner skin so i thought rob would be perfect. i know him from riverdale and he’s just perfect with the skin color and eye color and he has that capability of long hair for future eren JUST SAYIN. eren is one of my fav characters in aot/snk) 

aredn cho : mikasa ackerman (such a beauty and strong character. i loved arden in teen wolf and think she is so cute and beautiful. funny thing i say mikasa kinda hispanic because mi casa su casa you know so i say it wrong but i’m gonna try to say it right.) 

hart denton : armin artlert (arm out hahah im srry i hate myself) (i know this is another dude from riverdale its so funny bc i swear i dont even watch or really care about the show. i guess i think whelp i need young actors so either go to riverdale or 13 reasons why. but he is so beautiful and adorable and that jawline.) 

gregg sulkin : jean kirschtein / kirstein (okokok i had a hugeeeee crush on this actor when i was young and i think he’s pretty bomb on runaways the marvel show and he’s really cute and that chin is like jean and to me this is perfect!) 

charlie rowe : connie springer (i mean c’mon guys they look basically like twins although i do like dylan for connie i feel charlie looks more like connie) 

historia reiss / krista / christa lenz : kiernan shipka 

isabella gomez : sasha blouse (i love sasha so much she is very mood and i just love my precious bean and who better than to get someone that is super funny i mean c’mon)

anthony ramos : marco bodt (i’m john laurens in the place to be two pints of sam adams but im workin on threeeeee. i love anthony especially his singing hes so frickin cute just like my bby rip marco. freckles 4 dayz)

oona chaplin : ymir 

saoirse ronana : annie leonhart

alexander ludwig : reiner braun (reiner is my favorite character in aot/snk. his past and life makes me feel sad and just in a way kinda feel bad for him even tho i don’t want to. i love him and yes read many fanfics of him and many other characters of aot/snk.)

chuku modu : bertholdt hoover (first off chuku’s voice is like butter and it makes me feel some type of way and second the man is 6′4 ladies just like mr. hoover. its just glorious!!!)

dane dehaan : levi ackerman (you knew, you knew, you knew why you actin all surprised. i mean this man will forever be real levi.) 

sonam kapoor : hange / hanji zoe (both beauties!)

chris evans : erwin smith (again you knew! i feel like chris + anything to do with military soldier stuff = captain america OR ERWIN SMITH LIKE BRUH PLS DO NOT FIGHT ME ON THIS IT IS FATE AND TRUTH NOT OPINION FAM)

johnny simmons : moblit berner 

karen gillian : petra ral 

hunter parrish : oluo bozado

marco ilso : eld jin / jinn / gin (marco is a snack yallllll)

martin sensmeier : gunther schultz 

alexander skarsgard : mike zacharias (yes lord!)

carey mulligan : nanaba 

evan peters : marlowe freudenberg (dang what a last name srry) 

camren bicondova : hitch dreyse 

patrick stewart with a mustache : dot pixis (wait i forgot his first name was dot)

jeff bridges : dhalis zachary

will smith : keith shadis (idk why i really like this one but keith’s story is sad like he wanted to be a hero and remebered and just praised for one thing in his life but don’t worry keith *cries* I SEE U!)

rashida jones : carla yeager / jeager 

ALEXANDER HAMILTON i mean lin-manuel miranda : grisha yeaher / jeager (yes i did it...i made grisha alexander hamilton...its funny when i was watching the episodes with my sister i said grisha looks a lot like alexander hamilton so i felt it needed to be done and they look basically alike so i can rest knowing i did my deed)

charlie hunnam : zeke yeager / jeager (i know pply are pretty iffy about this one but i for one love it i think they look identical and i dont care what anyone says. we are all entitled to our opinion and shouldnt get mad at each other. also i love charlie and have such a crush on him its not even funny)

jeffrey dean morgan : kenny ackerman (woo hot diggity dang jeffrey is a fineee species, he is super *cough* daddy and makes me wonder do i want a way older dude????)

jenny slate : pieck (i love jenny she is so funny i cannot but the pic of pieck is fan art so it is not mine but i really liked how it looks a lot like the anime so well job to the creator) 

ben hardy : porco galliard (i fell in love w ben when i watched bohemian rhapsody if you havent watched that like what are you doing w your life! also porco’s pic is fan art as well since i wanted color to match with the rest of the pics and not manga no color) 

akira akbar : gabi braun (gabi is i think manga but colored idk if it is fanart but its not mine)

jacob tremblay : falco grice (the pic of falco is not mine! i do not own!)

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Museum of Mayhem Art Analysis

ahhh it’s finally here and it’s AWESOME. Lots of credit to @ifalnasminiatures for bringing this to my attention! Also credit to Hayder Hype for providing (nat zero six on gearbox forums) sources (Ashley Landry on twitter) in the description of his video because oh man it’s a lot

you can view most of these art pieces on the borderlands instagram as well

lots to talk about especially regarding the calypso twins so let us dive right in

tl;dr: tyreen has a weird red marking on her face in some old designs. i think troy used to be blind and missing his metal plates. more proof for my elpis/chemical sludge/lost legion theory that the twins are using said chemical sludge to give their followers psuedo-siren powers bc a dahl pumping station (hyperion pumping stations on pandora) but dahl had a presence on the moon

one of my favorites, it reminds me a lot of the Mask of Mayhem, but for villains.

Punk Girl is shown again twice, probably further proving she’s tied in with the CoV somehow

we also got some crazy looking villains such as

baby face. which is all kinds of extremely fucked up

this dude who looks like he could be a miniboss with the glasgow smile and the cool goggles

this guy who i legitimately thought was dr zed for a hot second there

could it be

the evilest brother?? pfft nahhh

this girl who seems like she could be a unique character with a baseball cap. wondering if maybe she’s related to Punk Girl in any way. What’s the verdict on the other band members? 🤔

uhh let’s give it a solid maybe and move on

this piece! very interesting to me

so, the very first thing i noticed is zane’s eye patch being on the other eye lol

amara’s tattoos are also gone, however that might’ve been for reasons similar to the japanese cover art of the game. 

most interestingly is a point @ifalnasminiatures made and it’s that the calypso twins are actually palette swapped! you can see Troy is the one with the white hair and Ty is the one with the darker hair. which I think mayyy play into a few things we see later about the twins

we also see a tiny ship in the background. i can’t tell if that’s sanctuary-iii or the blue/yellow ship, it all blends together a lot due to the quality of the pic. but it is next to the calypso twins, which makes me want to believe it’s the blue/yellow ship we see with red markings all over it. you know this one from the mural of mayhem wallpapers

you can see the reddish markings on the back right next to the engines

then we have ummm

this cover art

😬

thanks for not using this one gearbox cuz 

oh my god

she just reminds me of suicide squad, that’s not a good image you wanna dredge up from the deep recesses of your fans’ brains

she might be a unique character given the clothes/hair? cuz you don’t normally see psychos with stilettos on. or yknow, shoes in general. the hair also seems way to clean and neat to be a psycho/cultist

i just feel uncomfortable looking at this, so moving on

a different logo. also not my favorite cover art, but at least im not physically uncomfortable looking at this. that poor girl’s pelvis... anyway

lots of silhouettes

interestingly, i feel like the roses might have been a thing they just put in for the new cover art. haven’t seen hide nor hair of them across any of the pictures i’ve seen.

we got a lot of figures. out of them i most definitely recognized amara, salvador, maya, another salvador?, zer0, moze (maybe?), and axton. i thiiink one of them is maya as well, but im not 100% on that. 

i can guess why they didn’t pick this one: it’s hard to tell who’s who. a lot of these poses make the silhouettes kinda hard to see and the merging together at the bottom makes things even worse. i do think it’s interesting there are some bl2 characters on here as well, but hayder hype mentioned they very well could be placeholders, and given that i can’t make out fl4k or zane, im inclined to believe him.

this art which was used during the promo for this event

rip elpis i guess LMAO

a better look at the psycho himself from the promo released by the borderlands twitter.

there’s a new red planet which hasn’t been shown off before, looks like a gassy planet kinda like jupiter, but interestingly it has this green crack in the side?

very reminiscent of pandora’s eridium scar. i am wondering if this is because this planet had a vault opened, or if it is tied to the Eridians at all. be interesting if it was their homeworld.

also i have no idea what the symbolism is in the homeworld destroying another planet but maybe we shouldn’t think about it too hard e_e

the other planet that’s being destroyed... idk fellas

it doesn’t match up to me but like, this is only one shot

i don’t know 🤔 if you really squint, maybe you can see that hint of purple at the bottom there?

here

tbh, i thought this was elpis the first time i saw it due to the cracks, but i figured elpis doesn’t have like continents across its surface, just craters. and wayyy more cracks.

so it’s probably not pandora and it’s probably not elpis.

huh...

i do think the actual shot is suspended above promethea, you can see the familiar asteroid belt surrounding it

there’s also a planet in the background,

which i imagine isn’t pandora bc no eridian scar

could be elpis or eden-6, or the 5th planet we don’t know about. i kinda get the feeling the 5th planet may be that gaseous red planet tho. which is probably going to be super weird to traverse now that i think about it. they said oz kits weren’t coming back, right? i wonder how that would work. hmmmm

there’s also this redder planet here which i actually DO think is Pandora. if you squint real hard u can see the purple from the eridian scar. plus the color matches up pretty well with the pictures provided above.

there’s also these two bodies over in the corner where the light is coming from. i can’t tell what they’re supposed to be

there are also these little dudes in the top right

i assume they’re maliwan? they remind me a lot of the maliwan drop ship things that fly overhead when you enter promethea

YESSS okay this is the start of some PRETTY WILD twin stuff

troy: missing his tattoos, blind in one eye, has a weird mark above his eyebrow. also, no metal bits!

Tyreen!!! with a red stripe across her left cheek going up to her eye??? no tattoos on her left arm as far as we can see, but that might be for marketing reasons (she’s also covering up part of her bicep). she’s also missing her coat and chains and wearing a different glove.

we also have a bunch of bl2 VHs taking up space. again i think hayder hype is right in that they’re simply placeholders. not much else to say, but 

this trend of Tyreen having red markings on her face and Troy being blind in an eye (or both) actually continues through a fair amount of these posters!!!

more cover art. one of my least favorites again... i just think it looks like the psycho is puking out the VHs. also, seems to be an older version of the psycho mask.

fl4k seems to be less rendered than the rest of the cast? like they have less detail, especially on their coat

also you can see an older looking space shuttle up at the top, which reminds me a lot of the one we use in TFTBL to get to helios. except less caravanny and more rockety

the splatter also reminds me of siren powers, with the purple and the glitter. it’s cool that it’s showing a different shot than what’s behind it. maybe a hint to siren powers because it’s sort of like a portal.

more puke! 

this time troy is blind in both eyes it seems,

tyreen seems to still have a mark on the left side of her face, im wondering if this ties into her scars at all? it doesn’t seem as prominent as the previous red mark.

Zane seems to have an actual eye patch instead of his more high-tech eye patch, which reminds me a lot of the leaked character concepts from like january i wanna say

amara seems to be dual wielding lol i wonder if originally that was going to be one of her 3 skills but then they were like “wait salvador. wait. nisha. FUC-”

also fl4k is being obscured by this weird saturn-like planet. let them be free!

moze is missing, the saturn like planet shows up 2 times total, and that blue/yellow ship is seen again behind troy

as for the purple stuff? you already know my theory that the twins are going to be using the chemical sludge on elpis to empower their followers. it could also just be straight eridium/slag. you know, like the testing from the WEP with bloodwing and even krieg. we’ll have to see. it would be interesting if they tied krieg into the story through there.

i do lowkey think it’s chemical sludge though, because some of it is actually glowing blue in places, you can see it clearly below amara’s feet. maybe some tie in to siren powers cuz they glow the same blueish color. who knoooows not i

big shot of this psycho here, looks like he’s crumbling. 

i really like the 4 VHs standing at the base with the elongated shadows. very dark vibes from this tho, probably not suitable for the series as a whole. i can see why maybe they decided not to do it. 

i wonder if we’ll see this giant psycho statue somewhere on pandora. it would certainly be a sight to behold. 

also i kinda wish we had cloaks like the concept art shows. cloaks are cool

more sketchy art. this one is also kinda strange, i definitely get why they decided not to go thru with it.

possibly tie-in with the ‘mother’ imagery we get on the propaganda signs across pandora.

lmfao the foot

very bl2 like, im glad they didn’t stick with this. i like that they decided to change things up

troy seems to be blind and also missing his metal implants on his face. his jacket also looks a lot different, it looks more like tyreen’s with the spikes and stuff across it. we also can’t see his metal arm at all, tho we do see his sword! which looks a lot different, im glad they decided to revamp it to be more visually interesting lol

tyreen is more interesting to me. it looks like her right arm has like a silver coating over it? unless that is a metal arm as well. she also is wearing a different kind of glove. her tattoos are missing as well, but again, it’s probably because of the cover art. her scars also definitely seem to have reached her left cheek at some point.

zane also looks a lot different, tho amara, moze, and fl4k look about the same.

another shot of the ship, this one is definitely the blue/yellow one. there’s gotta be some significance with that, right? either we’re getting skins for sanc-iii, we’re going to be painting it a new color, or it’s a different ship.

what the HECK

maybe the twins stole sanc-ii and we’re using sanc-iii. idek. this ship is driving me up a wall lol

gun head.

not a lot to say here. i actually like this one lol it’s very mellow and straight to the point. it’s nice that the logo is right in the middle, not at the top like most of them.

game. buy it. okay? cool.

similar to the other background we did, a bit different. again, like @ifalnasminiatures pointed out, the twins are actually palette swapped here. 

Zane also has the old eyepatch on his right eye instead of his left eye, and his jacket is black instead of blue. fuckin’ edgelord.

one of my favorite ones out of all of them. it’s beautiful, i really wish they had kept it. Fl4k is missing but i assume they were meant to go next to Amara? i also think it’s interesting Moze is in the front, as I took Amara to be the leader this time around. Zane is also an older design, with the eyepatch back on his left eye again (starting to think this is an aesthetic thing lol) and a black jacket instead of blue.

We see the twins on the top. Tyreen has that mark on her face again, and Troy is the same as the last few covers.

We also see Maya, Zer0, and for some reason Brick? Which is weird to me considering we have a few other characters who initially feel much for important to the story (cough Lilith cough), but I’m not complaining. 

the purple splatters again make me think this is a tie in to eridium/slag/elpis’s chemical sludge. i also like the logo being worked into the design instead of just thrown on top, i think that’s a nice detail

i couldn’t find a great shot of this poster which is a shame because it’s one of my favorites

a lot of baddies to go around on here. i love the dude up top, he reminds me of the Anchormen from the captain scarlett dlc in bl2!

these dudes

we can see Punk Girl on the left again

and this guy who appears to be in some medieval armor

i have no idea what’s going on there but i am EXCITED

i’ve been thinking and tbh i think the multiple planets thing was just an excuse for gearbox to go absolutely ham on the character designs/settings. 

i mean why should they have to hold back all their medieval armor designs for another dlc like tiny tina’s? all their pirate/sea-fairing designs for a pirate dlc? fuck it! go WILD. i think they did, anywho

there’s also this post which... tbh i can’t make out much at all. again, seems like an older psycho mask design. it looks like there are characters in the splatter on the bottom left, but it’s very hard to tell who’s who, especially at this angle and image quality lol

if we get a better shot later on i may return to this piece and try to figure things out!

we also have this piece which is giving me huge ‘Happy Together’ vibes. very trippy

moze looks like she’s using an untextured atlas gun? dunno what’s going on with that tbh lol

i really like this one too. it’s cool. i get why maybe they wanted to go a little crazier tho, feels too simplistic for the MAYHEM vibe they’re going for.

oof! can we get an F in chat for whatever planet/moon this is

lots of pink floyd vibes going on here as well

we see a different looking blue/yellow ship flying away from the explosion. it seems to missing a lot of the parts that make sanc-iii so recognizable including the engines/wings

i like the destruction vibe they’re going for here, really sells the “universe destroying power” the twins are supposedly going to get. 

anyway, in addition to the cover art pieces, we also got a few concept art pieces as well!

this bit which looks like a gun

you see the aiming mechanism up there? you see how it’s aimed at that planet/moon? yeah i 100% timed this so you’d see the above concept art with this immediately after :P (im kidding i didn’t but hey now you don’t have to scroll)

fuck yeah babey

we also have seen something similar to this in the gameplay trailer!

i didn’t actually think it was a giant fucking GUN tho. can we get an F in chat for Promethea and/or whatever else this thing gets aimed at

yooo

i thought this was opportunity at first cuz of the bridge but it’s more likely promethea

when u go meet zer0 you can see some water surrounding the city so i would guess this is somewhere else on promethea

im mostly interested in the giant fuckin triangle in the middle of that courtyard looking area

oh also the giant trench of destruction on the right there. that’s probably important, too.

more concept art!

i think the bottom of the 4 VHs is actually what was leaked in january.

some art of the twins on the left there, tyreen is so much shorter than troy omfg

and this does indeed looks to be a younger version of angel so credit to @prettypinkdork for mentioning that on my angel post. it is nice to see those tech-y wings in action, definitely does prove it’s her.

we can also see this art of what i think is Punk Girl, which is interesting to me because she looks to be doing something with her right hand. possible siren powers? maybe! 

we also get a much cooler, bigger version of that maliwan ship people were talking about, with what look to be maliwan... eye bots? surrounding it. this is soooo fuckin awesome to me because it reminds me of a sailboat. and airships are fucking COOL

but something interesting is that i don’t think this ship was actually always maliwan

we got an A in the back here... for Atlas? i mean... you know it’s coming... the colors would match up. Yeahhhhhhh...

more interesting is that it actually looks like maliwan covered it up with their flags/tarps. i would not be surprised if this was claimed by maliwan possibly during the takeover.

a cyclone, with a whole fuckin lot of detail. just... holy shit.

not much else to say here though. i like the stuffed animal on the side, though

a better shot of jakobs manor which holy shit looks badass as fuck

big turret/observation thing on the right there? im not sure

pretty sure this is eden-6. also more tropical trees? possibly a water planet? but maybe just ocean on eden-6. also there seems to be like webbing on whatever is on the road, so maybe some spider-like wildlife?

most important to me is this

yeah i would bet that’s eridium/slag/the chemical sludge from elpis

im pretty convinced this is something on elpis mostly because the DAHL logo on the side. which again, they were on pandora yes but they were mining for iridium not eridium. if this was pandoran pumping stations, that would be hyperion.

i do think this is elpis. and i do think the twins are using the chemical sludge that mutated the lost legion into those fake siren things to give their followers superpowers.”holy holy holy” indeed.

this, plus the rakk wings on the psycho in the mask of mayhem are just convincing me more and more

that’s all for now folks. i gotta run

[loki-n-thedoctor]

6 and 30 ??

This is gonna be a little weird to post on my main but I guess my art blog is now under the blands control for a bit soo uh whatever~

6. Tell us about a setting/world you’ve created!

I did have a world-building post somewhere tho, it’s probably horribly outdated and I’m kinda scared to look into it now but I will take the pics from it because they are still relevant.  

So the thing is that each planet in the universe is a part of this cube system, its metaphorical obviously just to visualize the possible paths between the planets that in reality are scattered across the galaxy. Each “cube” consists of 27 planets divided into 3 levels, they share similar energy aka have similar beings living on them and similar ecosystems. The planets can connect through breaches with their neighbors(so B5 could connect with B2 but not with B1 or B3), first with the ones on their own level and later with the other two (it’s usually the middle 5th planet that connects first in this case but that’s not really relevant cuz that doesn’t happen during any of my plots). 

The breaches usually appear naturally just by themselves and are later turned into public paths and can even have highways going through them. They mostly open when planets are old enough yet it can happen at any point. They can also be enforced by technology, but it’sss kindaa dangerous. Obviously. So there’s the Watchman(that’s the red dipshit Howard here) who is this demi-god like being that is supposed to waTCH Over and make sure that everything goes nice and smoothly and that all planets are cool with each other. Each cube has it’s own Watchman, they are basically immortal but can be temporarily destroyed, during this time the other Watchman appears. Howard lives in his own pocket Delta Dimension. 

In canon Beta5 is connected with Beta4, and later Beta4 connects with Beta7. The fact that Beta8, the home planet of the Greyhounds(u know the spiky ears, shiny eyes) is not connected with any other planet is like the main conflict lol. Also, everyone is aware of this system, so there’s no oohh mann it’s alieenss,, Actually, everyone on the Beta level can be called a human, that counts for the Greyhounds too but they just have a name for themselves anyway. 

Beta5 is this main planet plot-wise, it’s very earth-like, but it’s just a one big continent mass and there’s no division on countries, etc. They kinda treat Beta4 like a different continent rather than a different planet and they have been connected for like over 200 years. Most of my OCs are from Beta5 tho. People from Beta4 are not that much different, they mostly really like color green I guess?? (see: Audrey and Gabe, then there’s Gordon who just went. I’m blue now and yall can’t stop me). Beta4 is also slightly more advanced and industrialized than its neighbor. 

Meanwhile, Beta8 is on friggin fire. Huge parts of the landmass were destroyed by the constant meteor showers and sunk into the ocean that it’s also partially lavA because of the volcanic activity and earthquakes and there are also acid rains and oh man this is not looking good huh, and the rest is barely habitable. The sky is almost permanently covered with dust that stops the sunlight. The good thing is that their species was already adjusted to long nights so they are somehow managing the situation, but there’s also that oh noo no stars :’’’’’C  Nevertheless, they are super advanced so maybe they will somehow get out of this situation. Literally. [cue Tim Roswell]

Oh yeah, right they are also at civil war “because” of Roswell. 

Greyhounds do not have electric powers, but they are mostly immune to electricity and can conduct it in a way. Roswell uses a special gauntlet with which he can shock people or create electric barriers, while Nekor is an ex-medic and his gloves are way way weaker than Tims(yet still dangerous to B5 humans), but for example, Oscar does not use any sort of shock gloves but has special “electric knives” with which he can redirect the electricity. I thought that I could clear that out because I’m not sure if it was obvious or not?? ?

I don’t have any other map right now, but I thought that I might throw it in here because I really never talked about that before. The colors represent territories under different influences: yellow - Eos(that’s Roswells Lab, he’s in charge of everything to put it short), purple - The North Lab( Simmone’s lab, I did not post her yet tho but she was in @lavend-ler ‘s fic shameless promo [x], she was hesitant about joining forces with Roswell but they are cool now, her lab is responsible for the force field around the planet that is supposed to stop the meteorites), blue -  Dyne Labs (run by a pair of twins named Ria and Kim, they are Roswells and Rylands old friends, they do lots of different research also humanitarian work), green - Valiant(responsible for agriculture, run by an older guy named Everest that totally doesn’t like Roswell).

a fun fact: my other ocs(the animal ones) also use this cube system, but are mostly from the Alpha Level 

30. Tell us about an OC whose personality is totally different than when you started out with them!

I’m gonna go with an easy answer here and just say Vincent. He was this classic /stoic, impatient, dont talk to me im angy, smoking detective/ type and now he’s just /i would die for you/ with the most used phrase being /are you alright?/ and * adopts all of the children* trope 

I do still use his original design as a different character tho :’ D

@dystant37

[hey-hey-chan]

Click Pause - Seungmin

Inspired by this gfx set by @realstraykids !! Em is so talented and I immediately got this idea when I looked at her art, so please check it out and give it lots of love (not like you haven’t seen it already pssh)

Ok now with no further ado, here it is idk why im so dramatic wtf

*click* *click* 

*click* *click*

The pink cherry blossoms that were fading were always the most beautiful to me. Yeah, the bright pink they get in the beginning is pretty, almost a hopeful feeling, but the fading of the color reminds me how sometimes even the most gorgeous things can try to cling onto life for a bit longer. 

*click* I looked down to my camera and checked the pictures I had taken. I sighed and shook my head, my bangs sticking to my forehead in this warm spring air. 

“No feeling my ass, these pictures are beautiful.” I muttered to myself. I had just come out of my principal’s office. After winning an award, doing photoshoots, and bringing so much recognition to my school, you think the man would be thankful. Wrong. He’s always trying to bring down my reputation and make me fail high school, I don’t know what’s his deal honestly. 

I leaned against a tree and winced in frustration after remembering the conversation I had with him earlier. 

“What?! That’t not fair! You can’t do that!” I yelled at the older man in front of me, he leaned back in his chair, a smirk emblazed on his lips despite trying to hide it with a glare. 

“Young man, you do not speak to me like that. You have to do this to graduate and to get this big scholarship, and if you don’t, then oh well, your whole career is down the drain.” He mocked me by mimicking a toilet flushing which made my whole face turn red in disgust at his behavior. 

“Mr. Kim, it’s just, I-I don’t get it. I’ve been apart of numerous photoshoots, won awards for my work, I’ve gotten interviews with really good colleges, why would you try to hold me back from this?” I questioned. 

Despite being an award winning photographer, I was still a senior in high school trying to make my way on by. The senioritis was really kicking me in the shins right now, but nothing could ever stop me from taking pictures. It was the only thing keeping me sane from this hell hole, yet my principal always had to try and hold me back from achieving my dreams. 

The old guy always gave me weird looks in the hallways and glared at me every time I gave a speech. I don’t know what I did to upset him so much. 

“Oh Seungmin, if you think you’re the best photographer out there, you’re so wrong. I’m sorry to say that but it’s true-”

“That’s a lie, I am good! I just won the 2018 SK Rising Photograph Award, I don’t want to brag or anything, but it’s an award some people only dream of, and I got it at 17. How is that not being good?” I felt my heart beating a million times per second as I felt rage and fear stir inside of me. I felt like I was walking on a flower road to my dreams, and now a huge roadblock was in my way. 

“Yeah, the rising photographer award, which means you’re not there yet. And I’ve been talking with numerous colleges, lots have been asking for you, but also I’ve heard some critique about your photos.” I sat up in my chair, my ears sticking up in curiosity. 

“Critique about what? I mean, I know I have flaws, but they’re fixable. I’m only 17.” I mentioned again. The man laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

“They mentioned how that yes, your photos are good, but they don’t really have any feeling behind them. You don’t take pictures of things that mean something to you, just what you have to take pictures of, you see the difference? They want something raw and emotional or loving, anything like that! And you, being the star of the school, I won’t allow you to fail. So, that’s your next assignment.” He shoved the document in front of me that literally just explained what he told me. “Good luck my boy.” 

I shook my head, trying to erase the memory, although I needed to do this project to finish high school. I guess I could drop out and just go get a real job, but I want to graduate. I mean, I’ve dedicated 4 years to this hell hole, I’m leaving with a certificate and my legacy. 

I raised my camera to get some good shots of the sun hitting the flowers perfectly. 

“You like cherry blossoms too?” My concentration fell to the ground as the girl practically screamed in my ear. I closed my eyes, trying to not lash out at her as I almost had the most perfect shot. “I love them too! They’re so pretty! I love the color pink, it makes me so happy! And pink and white? That’s golden! Also I love cherries because red is my favorite color, but cherry blossoms are pinky, isn’t that weird? I’ve always-” 

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I asked abruptly, hoping she would get the point and scurry away. Unfortunately, the girl smiled and held out a hand. 

“Oh my bad, I always forget to introduce myself. I’m y/n, and you’re the photographer boy.” I scoffed at her words. Photographer boy, is that what I’m known by? 

I shrugged and tried not to roll my eyes, “Kim Seungmin.” I replied quickly, not dragging this conversation out longer. 

“Ah yes, you’re very popular. I know you. You go to my school you know? We’re in the same grade.” I tried to raise my camera to snap some more pics, but I knew my concentration was already lost. 

“Oh really?” I blandly noted. I saw her nod in the corner of my eye and then did something that made me want to punch her face through the roof. The girl deadass jumped right in front of my camera and kept spitting out nonsense.

“Yeah yeah! Everybody knows you! Although, you don’t seem like the type to just like go to a park and take some pictures. Everyone knows you’re the type of like, high motion picture kinda guy? Wait that didn’t make sense, but do you know what I mean? You’re like always on the move, not the type of nature picture-taker, ya know-”

“Ok I really don’t mean to be rude, but I am trying to complete a project, so can you please leave me alone?” I expected the girl to stop talking, but instead she just laughed and patted me on the arm, messing up my denim jacket. 

“Ahhh, sure of course! Why didn’t you say that earlier!? Oh wells, I guess I’ll be on my way now, see you later!” With those words, she ran into the far distance. 

I shook my head and took off my jacket to get more freedom in my arms. 

That girl was kinda weird, hopefully I never see her again. But then again, what the hell was she going on about? What do people think of me?

I brushed away the thought and returned to snapping pics of the flowers who I knew couldn’t talk.

*click*

---

"So what am I going to do about this?” I was on the phone with my best friend, complaining about the project my principal assigned.

“I don’t know dude, just get the picture done? The man has no idea what he’s talking about, your pictures are pretty cool dude. All high quality and shit.” I groaned and rolled over on my bed which made all my clothes tumble over in the process. 

Everyone thinks photographers have these aesthetically pleasing rooms; my room had a trash bag filled to the top and a spiderman mat on the ground.

“I guess I have to, but I don’t know how to make my pictures different?” Felix laughed harshly in my ear which made me pull my phone away from my face. 

“Just take a normal picture and submit it, 10/10 guranteed the man doesn’t know the different between a picture with ‘passion’ and a picture that’s just good.” 

-----

“This picture has no passion.” The old man threw my picture aside and shrugged his shoulders. 

“C’mon Mr. Kim, I love those flowers, they’re my favorite. I felt so happy taking them.” I lied. I mean, they are my favorite I guess, and I guess I felt happy, but I feel happy taking all my pictures. Because I’m a photographer.

The man winced and pursed his lips together, “hm I don’t doubt that boy. But you’re missing one thing.” I paused, waiting for him to continue. 

“Missing wha-”

“Love.” He interrupted me abruptly to say one daunting word. Love. 

“And I love taking pictures.” The guy had the audacity to sit up on his desk and hum like he didn’t know what I was talking about. “I’m serious.” Mr. Kim got off his desk and sighed. 

“Seungmin, I think at one point you loved to. You had an interest in it as a kid, you pursued it as a real life goal not just a hobby, but now? You see it as just work.” I stood in silence at his words and took a step back, the words hitting me like a blow to my face.

“Just work? There’s no way. I love what I do.” I argued, though even I felt like my words had no bite to them. Mr. Kim stared at me for a few moments, letting my anger seep quickly into my veins. Finally, the man just shrugged and turned to the door. 

“Seungmin, we both know that you’re lying, but maybe you just don’t know that yet. So here’s what I’m telling you, go out, not just to take pictures, but go out and have fun. And then take pictures when you’re actually having fun, not just taking pictures to make it look like you’re having fun. Then maybe, like, meet a girl or someone or something, or whoever you like, whatever. Just meet someone spunky and full of life, that’s my advice to you.” He rambled on and started to shove me out of his office.

“Wait, I-”

“I have work to do! Now go, meet someone who might drive you a lil crazy but does some good to you.” 

I was shoved into the hallways and the door clicked in front of my face. 

“Meet a girl? Why-” 

“SEUNGMIN!” I heard a familiar high pitched shriek come from the end of the hallway. Then, a girl with light pinks came running at me from far away. Oh hell no- “Seungmin, that’s so funny. I feel like I’ve never seen you around here, but now, after we talked yesterday, I see you everywhere!” 

“I mean, not everywhere. Just this once.” I hope. She barked out laughed while hitting my arm like we were friends.

“Yeah true, so, how’s that project coming along?” The words brought anger to my lips and I spat it at the innocent girl.

“You know what? It’s going great, so excuse me, I have to leave again.” I stomped away like a child, holding my head high and left the girl in the dust. I didn’t know what her expression was, but I assumed it was confused. 

I just hoped I never saw this girl again.

“Ugh I can’t sleep,” I spoke to myself. It was a 11:49 on a Friday night, yet I felt jittery and upset. I shook off the sweat on my head and pulled on some real clothes. “Nothing like a good slice of cake can’t heal.” I muttered to myself. 

I guess I might as well get some good pics of the night sky while I’m at it. 

I pulled on a black hoodie paired with dark jeans and left the house. Thank god my parents were on a business trip.

It took me about 10 minutes to walk to my favorite cafe, which was nice since it made me feel calm and sweet in the nice crispy air. I slowly took out my camera to snap a pic, then I remembered Mr. Kim’s words. 

“You just see it as work.” 

I shook my head, no I didn’t. I let my camera hang by my side and walked into the brightly lit cafe. 

“Hi what can I get for you- oh my gosh, hey Seungmin!” 

No no no, how is this girl everywhere Jesus Christ? 

I looked up and saw the familiar cheerful girl with light pink hair. She was even as excited looking at night. 

“Hey y/n,” I greeted respectfully, trying not to be a jackass this late at night. The cafe was dead, I mean I’m not surprised since it’s so late.

“So, really, what can I get for you tonight?” I sighed, peering down at the glass. 

“I guess I’ll get a coffee and a slice of tiramisu.” 

“Ooh! Tiramisu! My favorite! And coffee? At this hour?” I scoffed at his accusatory tone. 

“Yeah I guess I’m already awake, might as well take some pictures of this beautiful night sky Korea is blessed with.” For the first time ever, she paused to think about her words. Then, she shrugged her shoulders and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. 

“I guess, but you should really be getting some rest. Or like not thinking about work all the time.” 

She really didn’t just- I sighed internally and looked away from her face so she wouldn’t see the glare I had. 

“It’s not just work. I like to take pictures,” I said with attitude in my voice. The girl gave a small laugh, not like the ones she had earlier.

“So it is true.” I chuckled at her words.

“What’s true?”

“That you’re so obsessed with doing well that you’re started to take your work too seriously? I mean c’mon Seungmin, you’re 17. Go out a live a little.” 

“Live a little? I live A LOT. I live more than any high schooler actually; I travel abroad, I work with people I’ve only seen in magazines, isn’t that living?” I mocked her words, giving her a piece of my own brain. But, all the girl did was chuckle

“Fine, if you live a lot, then once I get off on my shift, we’re going somewhere fun. No work involved.” I stared at her face for a bit, wondering if she was crazy or something. 

“Go out? With you? No way.” She just laughed at my words. 

“Not as a date silly, all you’re doing is just proving a point. Plus, this tiramisu and coffee was on me so you owe me one.” I scoffed at her words and took the drink out from my mouth.

“That’s crazy, I never asked you to do that-” She shook her head and smiled.

“Nope, you didn’t ask me nor did I tell you I would be doing so. That was fun. You should try it.” I felt heat rise to my cheeks as she just sauntered away and set down her apron. “You coming or not? Either way I’m going alone.” 

“You like your ramen?” I slurped up the noodles and glared at the girl beside me. I said nothing and continued to take another bite. “Oh c’mon Seungmin, I didn’t force you to come out here, you did so yourself.” 

“You made me feel guilty.” I mentioned. She shrugged at my accusation. 

“Oops?” She took a bite of her ramen and groaned happily. “I love ramen, more than cherry blossoms probably. But I think I prefer morning to night, what about you?” I shrugged. 

“I guess I’ve never thought about that...” I trailed off, but not setting down my chopsticks to think.

“Wow you really are how everyone said you were.” At those words, I set down my chopsticks and stared at her, trying to ignore the way her lips were now bright red and her hair was ruffled in her hoodie. 

“Whatever. I’m having fun.” I said, picking my chop sticks up again and taking a big slurp. I heard her giggle next to me. 

“Fine. I’m having fun too.” I heard her take an even bigger gulp next to me, making me cringe. 

“I’m having more fun.” I picked up my bowl to slurp it up, hoping none would spill on me. 

“I’m having the most fun!” She picked up her bowl and chugged the thing, setting it down so only a little was left. She licked her lips and smiled at me. “And that’s how it’s done.” She chuckled. Impulsively, my eyes flickered to her lips. She cocked a brow cheekily. “What are you looking at, pretty boy?” My cheeks turn a bright red, but I grew confused when she stood up. 

“Where’re you going?” I asked out of impulse. Once her expression turned cheeky, I felt my cheeks blush. 

“Just to the river silly, follow me when you’re done.” I watched as me carefully tried to keep her sweater on and body on land while dipping her toes in the water. The street lights lit our surroundings just barely and the rest of the world just seemed so big in comparison to us. 

I set down my chopsticks and picked up my camera. I slowly stood from the table, careful not to make any noise and aimed my camera at her. The camera made a loud clicking noise, so I took a few just in case I would never get this moment again. 

“Hey! What are you doing?” She had a demanding tone in her voice and was slowly stopping over to me. 

I held my hands up in surrender, yet she pouted since I was laughing. “Hey now, I can’t help but take pictures of pretty things.” I heard her lightly gasp which made me laugh, until I felt cold water hit my leg.

“Maybe instead of taking pictures of everything, you just need to enjoy these memories instead.” 

She ran back into the river, her light laugh filling the loud silence of the night sky. I saw her twirl underneath the stars, right where the lighting was perfect. I raised to take a picture of the romantic and brightly lit picture.

I shook my head and set the camera down on my chest. 

No, sometimes we all just have to 

Click Pause.

[moomooblackshep]

My dysphoria

Well... I'm 26 and so very fucking trans. Ftm. Pre everything. Fuck. It finally makes sense. For the longest time I've always identified as a crossdresser when much younger and then gay as a teen. As gay I've been out to most of my friends, took a while to come out to the family. I hate the word lesbian because it's a label that just doesn't fit and now this. I've only told my closest friends about the trans thing right now. Hopefully I can tell my mom about it later on when I finish my schooling again. Be warned this is long to whoever reads this.

The community has been very visible lately, YouTubers are also getting in on that band wagon. Media over all is so vocal about it now. Also, my mother used to watch a lot of trans surgeries for a solid year and would make me watch it with her. Those were disturbing but dear God like a train wreck I couldn't look away. It wasn't the surgeries that made me realize but they did open up my mind about researching and just looking into what trans is. Looking back there are many red flags. My dysphoria was generally supressed. I remember when I was young, around 10, I considered myself a crossdresser. I was new to the internet then since we just immigrated to Canada and I couldn't stop reading psychology books, journals, articles, anything I can get my hands on to put a label on what I am. I didnt make sense so I settled for something that seemed the closest thing I could find, crossdresser. I internalized that and moved on. We also didn't have much money at the time so I started wearing my brothers clothes and it felt right. Prior to moving into a new country my clothes consisted of dress like uniforms for school and shorts and t-shirt for home/play clothes. My classmates here then started asking me why I dress in boy clothes and I always said I was a crossdresser. They'll have a look on their face but I wasn't making a big deal out of it so they didn't either. I was also the kid that's good at art and I used to give them away a lot when done which people always wanted for some reason. I was also pretty calm and just took a lot of things at face value so people knew they could tell me whatever and I won't freak out, it apparently helped because I was told a hella amount of secrets. Graduation came and yearbooks were signed. Some even said I was the coolest crossdresser they knew and that hopefully everything worked out for me. Then highschool hit and suddenly the whole gay thing cropped up. I realized I didn't like boys early on. It was weird. Everyone tells me that I should and that I have to but I knew I didn't like boys like that at all. When I was younger still, by the pics probably as young as three maybe five, I had a playmate that everyone and their grandmother keep saying that he's my boyfriend. As far as I remember I've always denied it. I had mostly boy playmates but the few girls around I always took special care to make them feel included or give them attention. I didn't understand them. I didn't know why they liked only certain games like the dancing, skip rope, the make up or why they prefer dresses or various things I can't even remember now. I always chalked it up to my two older brothers will beat anyone up that doesn't include me in their games or are mean to me. It was a small enclosed neighborhood. My brothers were in the older crowd and knew everyone being 7 and 9 years older than I was. It still didn't make it any less confusing to me tho. I questioned a lot of things but no one would give me answers or they'll just ignore me. It didn't help that my mother always said disparaging things towards gays. Things about religion and how shameful it is. I don't want to get into it but I ended up internalizing it. We're also Catholic so the Catholic values of how we are in God's image, we should treat everyone as how we would treat ourselves and how God loves us clashed horribly with what she was saying sometimes. I was confused for a while but I tried to rationalize it myself and came up with "he's (the gay man my mom criticized and the only gay person I knew growing up) happy, he seemed comfortable with himself, he's not hurting anyone, he seems like a good person. So I said to myself that if he's all that then it's okay. It's his life and it's his choices. But even when it's okay for him to be gay I knew I wasn't allowed to be gay because of the homopobia my family was showing. I was probably around 7-8 at the point when this all went down. This is also why I stay away from church now. The hypocrisy is something that gets to me but I have my faith and I just try to live as "good" as I can while still being human. I'm probably missing a lot of the stuff because I don't remember much of my childhood. Anyways, that's the internal homophobia and why I couldn't be comfortable with it until later on in my life. By the time highschool rolled around I've immersed myself into the internet and have accepted my love for the female form. Also porn and Anime was a great motivation for an asian teen. Went to an all girls school for highschool, met my best friend in grade nine and proceeded to date her the following year. We lasted all of highschool but I knew I wasn't the best gf at the time or ever. We broke up because she was moving on to better things and I was lost and not going anywhere, I wasn't gonna hold her back to not experience stuff, so we split amicably. We're kind of friends still and adulting sucks. On that note, my dysphoria. In all honesty I never took it as that because my mental and emotional coping mechanisms are suppression and distraction. Anyways, as a kid I always envied the boys. They're always portrayed as being stronger, bigger, the hero, they seemed to have more freedom. As a kid I wanted that. Everyone treated me like such a delicate girl when I didn't feel like a girl at all much less delicate. I was a crybaby sure but that was because my brothers teased me relentlessly and the only time they'll stop at all is if I cry. I wasn't allowed a lot of freedom for expressing myself either because it was met with indifference or anger from my family so I had to figure a lot of things out by myself. Mom isn't the most affectionate or vocal person about feelings either so it's just been me for a long while. Looking back it was a steady progression and the feeling of helplessness that I can't change my sex. It permeated my entire being so I supressed and distracted myself and accepted that I can't do anything about it. Until I was 10 I tollerated the dress ups mom used to put me in, the expectations of being a girl was just another duty I had to uphold as the "youngest daughter" even the long hair was a point of annoyance for me. It was grown past my butt and I hated every second of it. I used to bug mom to get shorter hair, to have a cut like the guys and she gave in once when I caught her on a good day and she cut it to my shoulders. I was happy. It was a step in the right direction. Now if only I can get pants and a dick I'd be happier. Fast forward to puberty and lord was that a thrilling ride. Labelled myself as crossdresser in elementary and now Im gay leaning to Butch lesbian in highschool. Fuck I hated that but again it was another thing I had to tollerated because I couldn't change my sex. I knew transexuals existed mostly I thought that only applied to effeminated men. Aka gay men crossdressing. It didn't connect in my brain that women can be transexuals too. I thought they were just butch/ stud women. I was sheltered and very big on the internal homopobia okay. Now, highschool brought more insecurities. My chest grew like what it does during puberty. I wasn't happy about that. I was a chubby kid but fuck that was such a bad time. I hated them. I strapped them down as much as I can with tape or ace bandages, we had med kits everywhere, when that didn't work I'd wear something to try and flatten them or super baggy clothes. Also I had smaller bras than what I needed so it made them smaller. Had to hunch to hide them. I couldn't figure out why girls bought lingerie for them or why the hell they show it off. I forget a lot that people don't feel what I feel and that I'm not normal. Even with me wanting my chest to be gone but mostly be more male type I also wanted bigger shoulders, a few more inches in height (I'm 5'6), a deeper voice, my jaw and cheeks to be chiseled like the males I see in media. Yeah that was a trip into a rabbit hole. When I was younger I wanted to be like the guys in anime with the body builder like body, the voice, the heroism, the super powers because it's anime and surprisingly how they get the loyal girl. I learned all the chivalry because I always see myself as the guy in the relationship. Flowers, compliments, do nice things even if I don't say my feelings, open a door, pull out a chair, make a girl laugh. Then being a bit older still made me want all those things but now I have certain preference for girls, I wanted to be tall dark and handsome. It's more about being debonair with chivalry thrown in together and having adventures with my partner. It just became more age appropriate as time went on. It was all so confusing but I took the idea and ran with it. I couldn't change my sex? Fine. I'll suppress the need to cry and the depression until I can be free to be myself. Also known as me living by myself. I was terrified of what my family will say and how they'll react. They tried hard to make me girly during highschool and I just repeatedly said no. I never said I was a boy but I saw the need for them to turn me into this girl that I've never felt I was. I hated it. Then I fixated on the aspects I can change. My hair, the way I dressed. How I presented myself. I didn't change my pronouns or name because while I didn't like it it was negligible in the whole. There wasn't much to change to begin with since I already dressed as a male most of the time. Crossdresser in elementary remember. Wasn't much of a shock to the family really, just more annoyance cuz I took my brothers clothes. I sound like I hate everything but aside from a few things that I just glaze my eyes over now I'm pretty laid back and chill. It's just the way I present myself that really gets to me. Ive never given a fuck on why or how others percieved me aside from my family. 15/16 was a rough time. Suicidal thoughts started and escalated. I started self medicating in that I took up smoking cigarettes and weed to dissociate from everything. For a while it worked. Suicide was very close to happening, had it all planned out but when I came home mom was weirdly home. Once we were in Canada my brothers disappeared mostly because of college/uni and work. Mom was the same, she had three jobs at one point to cover all our expenses and Dad hasn't been in the picture for a long while. But yeah, mom was home in a rare off day. We somehow watched a documentary or a show that had suicide in it and she started talking about it. Could've knocked me over when she said that she wouldn't know what to do if she ever found us, mostly me, like that. How she would be devastated and everything. Things like that. It fucking threw me for a damn loop. But I was fucked up and that night I just kept writing and writing and writing until the sun was up and I had to go to school. When I came home no one was there again and I just broke down. My emotional instability, my hopelessness that I can't have the body/sex I want and need, my loneliness, thinking that my family doesn't love me just finally broke me. So I cracked. I cried and I screamed and I just fucking let go. At one point the neighbours even knocked on the door to see wtf was happening. Wiped my face, plastered a smile and said I was practicing for drama class and sorry that I bothered them. I had drama anyways with a play that year so when the neighbours brought it up with mom it was a solid excuse. After that the supressing habit became so strong that for example when I glance at my chest it just disappears from my mind that I even looked at them. There are days where I'm 100% okay with them ( or any part of my body that I can't deal with)for several minutes and I'll look at them and inspect them then later on I'm back to trying to find something to strap them down because the anxiety and panic is back that I don't have the right body. Once the break down was over I couldn't function for days. The dysphoria and depression just consumed me so I figured I needed to do what I needed to do. I cut myself off from that part of me emotionally and mentally. I hid it and I ran. I distracted myself with bad relationships,bad friends, the drug habit kicked up and I even became entangled in the crowd I never wanted to be in. I was a mess and as long as there was something else to worry about I didn't have to deal with myself. It worked for a long ass while but I was never happy. I've never felt joy after that breakdown. I had some contentment but that was it. The lows were manageable because once it starts I pick up a new thing to distract myself. Adult me discovered binders, bought a bunch of them with my first credit card. I was 18/19 and in college. I couldn't wait for it. Finally! I get to have a flat chest. They came and I couldn't be happier. I wore them every day from the time after I shower to just before I slept. Sometimes my mom would wake me to go to the store and I'll throw it on before my clothes. For a solid two years I wore it like my second skin. I went out to my first drink with my second brother with it on. Went to a gay club and picked up someone with it on. Worked in it even though that was a bad time. I was confident as hell. I was finally a step closer to myself. I was mistaken for a guy more often than not and that was fantastic. Then the inevitable happened. I lost them when my mom raided my room with no warning to clean it because it wasn't up to her standards and took all my laundry. I was frantic in looking for them. I was desperate. I kept asking mom where they are. I only ever got one of them back but I went into such a depressive state that shame and guilt and self doubt/hate came crashing back down on me and I couldn't wear it anymore. I went on a drinking bender at that point and I moved out at 20. 21 and I became an alcoholic for the next year. The truth that I'm stuck in this body slapped me so hard I slipped. I dropped out of college, drank from morning till night, was even drunk when I was at work. I just slipped. It was so easy but in the end I had to pick myself up. My family didn't notice much. Just that I was never home and mom and I had a blow out because she expects me home when no one is even home. When there's no food in the house because I didn't know how to cook at the time. She also kept pushing if I was gay and i admitted it. I was never gonna be ready so I just sucked it up and said it even though it felt wrong. Let me be clear as a transman man I'm not gay but right now I'm still seen as a cis woman. Im pre everything so I will, for now, say I'm gay. However, I'm a man trapped in the body of a woman and there is not much I can do until I start transitioning. After that horrible dip in my emotional instability I stopped binding. I just picked up shitty girlfriends after shitty girlfriends. Girls who were selfish and immature and made it all about them without giving back to me. I got stressed over that instead of my body and managing them is more doable than my body. Don't get me wrong I could've dropped them any time since I knew what I was getting into. My need to run from my dysphoria intensified my so called "need" to have them around. Did I love them? No. They were a means to an end and a way to distract myself. Have I ever loved any of them? I did love my first girlfriend but I never gave her what she deserved. When she broke up with me I was sad but I knew that she needed to grow into the person she wanted to be. I wanted her to find happiness even though it wasn't with me. So I let her go. Not completely tho. We're ish friends and I'd rather have that than nothing at all. At 24 I went back to school to finally graduate college. I picked up another shitty girlfriend for 7 months and 2 months after I ended my last relationship. My best friends just laughed and shook their heads at me because they can't believe I'm doing it again after I'm trying to get my shit together. But that was the last relationship I went into. The trans community started being more visible then. Acceptance for LGBT+ was at an all time high. Mom and I were okay. Things were looking up. Me being single was terrifying because I slowly started to unpack all my issues. I had supportive friends who won't leave me, my family is okay with me, I lived alone for a while but came back to mom's because her house is closer to the school and they've been trying to get me to move back in for the last four years. At 25 I just started unpacking and unpacking and unpacking and dear God the amount of issues I had to resolve with myself was a fucking lot. But the biggest is my dysphoria so I researched and read and watched a ton of vids to finally come to the conclusion that I'm trans. I'm trans not because I hate my body but because I believe I'm in the wrong one. It's terrifying to know that because there's no immediate remedy. I'm trapped and the process to switch is long, expensive and not permanent in a way I won't ever have the biological markers without outside influence. Having biological kids will be an issue too but I've always thought that I would never give birth to one, I've always assumed that I would adopt or somehow one of my friends will make me the guardian for theirs if they ever pass away. I've never felt compelled to have one of my own. A family yes but I would love any child in my family whether it's biological or someone else's. At 26, just had my birthday last month, I'm contemplating transitioning in the next year or so. I still have issues to work through but I think when I talk to a psychiatrist or counselor I would be okay. It's a lot to consider and I need to be sure it's the right way for me. In all honesty I'm pretty sure I'll transition. I've waited long enough I can wait a little longer to make an informed decision.

To whoever is reading this just know that it was hard and difficult journey for me but if you can accept the situation even just a little, enough to get you through until you can deal with it financially, emotionally and mentally it gets easier. Self hate is a very heavy burden to carry I wish it could be easier but youre a stronger person for it in the end. It helps to focus on other things to build your life. Finish school, have a good job, maybe a relationship because if you focus too much on the dysphoria once it's taken care of you will still have life in general to deal with and it's good to have the ideal life you want ready for you because you built it and you changing your body is the last piece to make it perfect.

[jordcnbrown]

Cougar Vibes

Growing up I feel like age was always a factor in my life. As old, if not older than me would most likely be something I’d look for in a partner. Thinking that they’d probably teach me a thing or two if they were older than me. I’d totally look passed anyone younger than me, no chance. No way. I’m currently 28. I’m not going to lie though, it’s so often that someone thinks I’m 24-25. Im always flattered.

It was springtime, before covid I had recently started “working out” I put an emphasis on working out bc it was more so just running and walks down some of our OC trails. That’s when I came across a young man, named Alex. He was making alien art on the walls underneath a bridge in a very secluded area in one of the trails. I personally draw, paint, and doodle myself so I had to stop and say something. It was looking good, you can tell he was just getting started. I couldn’t tell how old he was atm, but I knew he was definitely younger than me.

Hiding behind a cloth mask covered in paint dust, we started talking a bit. Once he slid his mask down a bit I saw the whole face. Cute young face. My first impression was, he’s gotta be like 19? After a couple minutes of chit chat I left! Didn’t think much of it, you know. So a couple of days go by. I go back to the trail, literally around the same time as prior. Walking up closer to the bridge I was able to hear music playing, sounded like Daimen Marely - Welcome to Jamrock. I chuckled to myself at first thinking no way it’s the guy again, and no way is he playing this song. He’s too young to know about this jam.

He was there again, but he wasn’t alone this time. There was another gentleman, definitely in his 20’s. I made noise as I got closer and they both turned at the same time. Alex was kinda spooked at first, but smiled right away recognizing me from the other day. We immediately started chatting, introduced his buddy as Joseph. I complimented him on his art, it looked badass. I was genuinely impressed. It looked so simple yet dope. I took pics, and then he asked to follow me on IG. I let him.

Once this young man saw my IG and how it was kinda provocative- the way he spoke to me changed. Started referring to me as Misses, Miss, Madam. I thought it was funny and dorky. After looking at his profile I saw he was actually 20, not even legal legal. From what I could tell, he was definitely single and very into his graffiti work. I kinda liked that, a guy who doesn’t post much of himself don’t ask me why but for a lot of girls that’s a plus. Makes us think you’re all about ur business, or at least that’s what I think hehe.

One night around 2:30am I got a message from him on my IG. I remember being asleep, but heard it come in. DING. No1 really hits me up so I woke up. I thought what the hell, and tried going back to sleep. I had trouble though, I kept thinking just open it and reply tomorrow. So I did, I open my DM’s and as I open it- it’s a 10 second clip of a big dick being stroked and nuts all last second. i kid you not, i WOKE up. Damn mijo, you carry that all day??? Sheeesh.

I wasn’t sure what to say so I left it on read, and went back to bed with thoughts of why he would send me that, thinking it was prolly accidental. The next day I posted how i would go hiking soon, in hopes he’d be there so I can ask why he sent me that. I decided to wear something different, I tossed my baggy shirt and traded it for a matching pink workout set that 1. eats my pussy up in the front. 2. shows you when my ass is wet from sweat, and 3. makes my tits perky af. I proceeded to go do my workout.

Getting closer to the bridge I didn’t hear or see anyone when I passed besides the alien on wall. I wasn’t bummed but idk, I guess I was just expecting him to be there. I hit the end of trail and decided to jog back. I’m running back, getting closer to the bridge and I see a body- someone taking things out of a backpack. I get closer, making noise and he turns around. It’s the homie! Alex. Gotem.

He hears me, and looks over. Right away he smiled big, I stopped myself, taking off my airpod. “Hey” I said all out of breath. He tells me he’s gonna go over the alien and is going to paint something new. He started spraying the wall, and I asked him what he was planning to draw this time he replied he wasn’t sure yet. In my mind I still had the thought of his big cock. I made sure no one was coming, and I started scooping my tits out. Exposing my big sweaty soft tits. I felt a breeze and instantly made my nipples hard.

I told him “Draw this..”. He turned around half way barely getting a glimpse and he quickly did a double take. “Huh..oh my god..” he said as he turned his whole body towards me. “I’ve came to the thought of you like 10 times already…” he tells me, I started walking towards him. He looks at my face, and back down at my tits. Kinda in shock. In the moment I was so turned on being in public exposed. I told him to touch me, and he started groping my tits. Squeezing them tight, kissing them. He didn’t care I was wet from running. While sucking on me I reached over to grab his dick over his basketball shorts. I felt a thick hard cock, I start rubbing it over his shorts.

He looks me right in my face, I could hear him nervous. Breathing hard, he maintains eye contact while I apply pressure on his dick and press myself against him making him squeeze my tits harder. It’s like he wanted to say something but all that came out would be little groans and moans. He started sucking my nipples, I slide my hand in his shorts gripping his dick and started stoking it. He was so still, taking it all in. In that moment all I could think about was how i wanted to feel this dick inside me.

In the midst of jacking him off, and him sucking on my neck. I had my back against the wall, and he was buried in my chest. His homie from the other day popped up out of nowhere!! Literally caught us, my tits all exposed and wet from Alex drooling all over them. I gave him a look, and suggested he be quiet. “Oh shit!!” Alex sees him on the corner of his eye. “Yooo you scared me dawg! Fuck!” as he’s tryna hide my nipples. “Please don’t mind me..” Joe says.

“Keep watch incase people come..” I said. I look back at Alex and asked him to fuck me right here right now. He started taking his dick out, stroking it and looking around all nervous. I slid one leg out of my biker shorts, dragging along my wetness amongst my inner thighs. He stands against the wall, and I started backing up on to him, I could feel his hard cock against my pussy and ass crack. I grab ahold of each cheek and spread my ass open so he can find my slit and slide in.

Ughh, he’s so fucking thick and long. Damn son. I moan loud it makes Joe chuckle, his eyes locked on my pussy area. I bent over a bit, and told Alex to fuck me quick. He grabs ahold of my hips and grips on to me. Pounding me like a fucking animal. Clapping echoes a bit loud. Holy shit. Fuck yeah, mmmm feel so good. He grabs my elbows and pulls them back making easier to hold on to me.

He was hitting it at an angle that started making me squirt a bit. My light pink outfit was covered in wet marks. Pounding me consistently, I started rubbing my clit. Ugh I fucking love it. I love cock. I love it so much, I love being a slut. I love being enjoyed. I wanted to cum so bad, I tell Joe to come and suck on my tits. Without hesitation, he’s bending forward sucking on my tits. Carefully gently sucking my nipples and my tits, they jiggle in his hands from the thrusting. I wish I could see us from afar. One man behind me, holding my arms back fucking me making my ass jiggle hard. And the other in front buried in my chest.

My head hanging back, my eyes rolling back. I’m moaning loud. Joe starts rubbing my clit while Alex shoved himself deep as possible. Yes yes, omg yes. All these things happening at once, I was going into a different place mentally. Into ecstasy, giving my chills all over. Making my nipples hard af. Alex kissing my neck on the left side and Joe tongue fucking my ear on the other. I came, ugh fuuuuck me! My legs instantly started shaking, becoming weaker after feeling every pulse on my clit slow down. Whimpering.

Once I slide off I looked back at Alex and down at his dick. So glossy from my clear cum. He then asked if i was on birth control, which I replied to by saying no bc I don’t get fucked often so what’s the point. He said “well i came in you once right now, I just got hard again and kept going.” My jaw dropped, what the fuck you mean??? How?? Uhhh…ok. I was kinda impressed how he felt hard the whole time, never would’ve known. Maybe after when he’d drip out and on to my panties but I appreciated him letting me know right away. I drove home after, and on the way there i felt myself drip the rest of the drive.

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