#if the office was three degrees warmer

[3liza]

I fumbled a couple days of my usual high daily magnesium doses and got an oubliette style migraine about 20 hours ago so here's the new to-do list

call one of the doctors I'm supposed to be following up with (dermatology? allergist? I forget) or reschedule call for tomorrow depending on status by end of business day

answer text message about book

walk + feed dog

re-check current web project cleanup list, send

clean out and re organize house basket

move bird of paradise plant

buy shipping labels

did I pay the storage unit bill??

[izzabela]

Hi there! Could write different scenarios of the Lin Kuei brothers who are watching a TV show with their significant other for the first time and a sensual scene comes on and they don't know how to respond between embarrassed and slightly turned on but trying to conceal it (yet failing to lol), and the reader notices it and finds it amusing and teasing them about it? ��

Is This Media? - Lin Kuei Trio x GN!reader (scenario fic & modern au)

in which Tomas, Kuai Liang, and Bi Han react to the shows you watch (Bridgerton S2-3 & Queen Charlotte spoilers!)

a/n: as a child, my parents often covered my eyes during kiss scenes or any romance, so I have some ideas on how they'd react

ship[s]: tomas, kuai liang, bi han x gn!reader (scenario fic)

warning(s): suggestive end(s)

Bi Han

Rotting is only for food, plants, and dead animals.

So the fact that Bi Han managed to waste a day on the couch, with you, wrapped in fluffy blankets, with chips on both side of you, and watching Bridgerton, was an incredible feat in it of itself.

Although it was your day off, Bi Han decided to end his own day early, handing off his responsibilities to his brothers back at the office. He had full faith in them, and he missed you (on the DL though). He felt as if he didn't spend enough time with you, so home he went.

He was hoping to hit the gym with you, walk around the park, even go out to those café's you enjoyed. However, when he found you wrapped up like a little babushka with the blanket over your head and chips in your mouth, he knew you had planned something out for the both of you.

So now, he lays next to you as you watch the latest season of Bridgerton, season three with Penelope and Colin. Truth be told, you were watching because Anthony and Kate were making huge cameos, but the season turned out to be decent in your eyes. Bi Han, on the other hand, complained about every little thing.

"The costumes aren't historically accurate," he grumbled at one scene, biting his chip angrily.

"Symbolism seems to be a petty scapegoat in these kinds of shows" he groaned at another scene, one with Penelope writing some stuff down. "I mean, her name is 'Pen' and she holds a quill- how obvious does it get?!"

Seriously, he reminded you of your dad when watching these types of shows.

Now it came to the turning point of the romance, and both characters managed to be alone together. The screen was filled with tension, and the fact both characters are so close, a millimeter from touching, killed you.

"Kiss! Come on, Colin, don't flake now!" you squealed, gripping onto Bi Han's hand as your wishes came true.

While you were giggling your feet like a school girl who just got asked out, Bi Han was quiet and still. His eyes remained glued on the screen, watching as both characters explored one another (to the length they were allowed to go for the rating).

He could feel his pants and underwear suddenly becoming tight, his body growing just a degree warmer, and a warm flush grow on his cheeks and ears. He coughs, trying to distract himself, then reaches for your water bottle on the coffee table in front of you.

You gasp at the betrayal, watching him down the water fast. Like a parched athlete, he's finally done and wipes his mouth after one last gulp. You may have laughed at first, but when you see him shift his pants from under the blanket, the full picture is drawn.

Your eyes catch how his eyes don't meet yours, the pink on his ears and cheeks, even the way he's breathing. He's covering his face and turning away, hoping you leave him alone.

"L-let us continue!" he huffs as he sits back down, his legs bent in a way so the blanket doesn't land on his crotch area.

You turn to him with a sly brow and a smirk, scooting closer to him as you tease your boyfriend.

"Are you... nervous dear?" You poke his cheek as he tries to play it off. "Pen and Colin's scene got you acting all crazy?"

"Don't fill your head with delusion," Bi Han says gruffly, turning away like a toddler who got caught stealing cookies. You just laugh as you keep making fun of him, teasing him for his reactions to Hollywood magic.

You coo and place your hand under his cheek, turning it gently to pepper his face in kisses as an apology for "being mean". As you placed kisses on his forehead, nose, and eyelids, he catches your lips in his as he shoves his tongue in the tavern of your mouth. His hand cups your cheek, and you dig your hands into his hair.

When you finally pull away, you boop his nose and giggle, "Still embarrassed?" Bi Han just scoffs, topping you on the couchas he cages you with his arms.

Bi Han throws the blanket away from his body, lifting his shirt over his head to reveal his firm body.

"We'll see who's embarrassed after this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuai Liang

You cuddled in close to Kuai Liang as you two watched an episode of Bridgerton season two. In order for you to prepare for season three, you decided to rewatch the other two seasons (plus Queen Charolette) to remind yourself where you were in the series.

Kuai Liang had just finished taking a shower, since he came home from work at the office with his brothers. He wasn't supposed to be seated here, his services were needed to make dinner, but here he was.

You giggled as you fed yourself popcorn from the huge bowl that sat in between your left leg and Kuai's right leg. While you were enjoying the show, Kuai Liang sat there an scrutinized every detail of the show.

You first watched the show by yourself, as Kuai Liang was busy doing his own thing. However, during this rewatch marathon of yours, he began to watch the show. It started with him standing from the kitchen, arms crossed as he examined everything in the show.

He knew he and his brothers acted similarly, but even twins are not a hundred percent the same (they aren't twins, just making a comparison). Unlike Bi Han, who was vocal on the cheesiness of the show, Kuai Liang remained silent and reserved. He wasn't completely emotionless, as he laughed during some parts that he found amusing.

What he didn't laugh at, though, was the raunchy scene between Kate and Anthony.

You watch the scene with wide and intense eyes, the characters leaving the ballroom only to meet under the gazebo of the Bridgerton backyard. The scene is filled with forbidden love, secrets, and the undying need to touch one another.

"I don't understand, they were dancing so well together, why are they mad?" He asks, genuinely perplexed at the change-up of the actors' feelings.

Ah, you forgot he didn't understand subtle acting. And the fact he asks many questions during these kinds of shows.

You squeal, gripping onto Kuai Liang's bicep as you explain the scene to him.

"Anthony is supposed to be hitting it off with Kate's little sister, but he doesn't like her like that. They danced together like that because Kate was trying to leave for India, to get away from him and his love..."

The scene suddenly changes, and both actors are all over each other as they dive into one another's mouths. The erotic sounds of their moans and groans fills the surround system of the T.V., and Kuai Liang finds himself uncomfortable at the sudden display of... hefty affection.

You scream, practically bursting his eardrum, but he finds it enjoyable because you're so excited.

Did he find the show predictable and boring? Yes.

Did he love you in your entirety? Even more yes.

And that trumps every other emotion he could ever feel towards this show.

As the characters kiss, Kuai just sits in contemplation at the media in front of him. Since when did media get to this point? He thinks, adjusting himself in his seat.

As much as he tries to remain calm and collected, his neck is slightly pink and warm to the touch. His palms also begin to sweat buckets, and you can see him rub his hands up and down his legs as he tries to wipe the signs of nervousness away.

You're gripping onto his bicep as you watch Kate and Anthony go at it like starving wolves, however his arm is a bit wet. You look up at your boyfriend and see his nervous face.

Cheeky ideas fill your mind as you watch Kuai Liang's furrowed brow, the sweat that crawling down his face, and his straight and pursed lips. You giggle as you look between the growing sensuality of the scene and Kuai Liang, finally piecing the puzzle together.

He was flushed, and all due to Hollywood screenwriting. Adorable.

You go snd sit on his lap, using your arm to wipe the sweat on his forehead (and using this opportunity). You chuckle at his preteen reaction to your show, squishing his cheeks as you tease him. He rolls his eyes as a joke, placing his hands on your hips to keep you steady.

"Hot and bothered over scripted sets?" you giggle some more. "The mighty Kuai Liang, downed by a simple love scene!"

Kuai Liang pulls you closer with one arm, and his other crawls to the back of your head as your nose and his almost touch. In his lap, you can feel the growing muscle in his crotch area, and suddenly you're reminded of your position in all of this.

You gulp nervously, and Kuai Liang plants a loving kiss on your forehead.

"We'll see who's high and mighty after this scene."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomas

Tomas doesn't remember watching a movie in his youth.

Before his family passed, movies were considered a luxury due to their economic status. Although adopted into a new family, movies were not really in the picture, either, since he was raised into supporting Bi Han alongside Kuai Liang.

It was through you he saw the beauty in movies, the cheesiness of Hollywood, and the talent of amazing screenwriters.

Through you, he saw horrific tales of slasher films, dramas of soap operas, even Hallmark. With more time, he discovered streaming shows thanks to your endless subscriptions.

He also realized how romance was your go-to genre, and how you were obsessed with Bridgerton at the very moment.

Was he just as attached as you? Yes.

He found the spin off much more endearing, since the chemistry between both actors felt so real. The script was amazing, not to mention he cried a bit.

Right now, you two were watching the spin off, Queen Charlotte, as it was the latest release before season 3.

You two stayed in your bedroom, as there was a TV inside. Cuddled close, you two had an assortment of snacks on top of a towel in between both of you.

You watched with a slack jaw and a palm full of cookies as the scene where the king and queen are in front of a fire, only in pajamas, and flirting heavily.

"Oh my goodness," you gasp as you turn to Tomas, who's a bit confused.

"What, my dear?" he asks, quirked brow and a perplexed face.

"It's the 'I'm good with buttons' scene!" you exclaim and shove a cookie in your mouth.

Tomas turns back to the screen and watches how the king slowly walks up to the queen, says the line, and slowly kisses her.

Cutely, Tomas raises his arms up to hide behind them, only peeking through his fingers to check. As he checks, the scene grows more and more haughty, and so does he.

Tomas is pink from neck to forehead, his hands covered his face completely, and he's got a raging boner in his pants. It wasn't the actress, no (though she is beautiful), it was the scene itself.

I mean, when did media do this?

As Tomas coughs to try and cool himself down, shifting in his seat, your head is turned to his attention. It's so obvious what he's trying to hide, and he isn't doing a good job either.

You scoot closer to him, nudging him with your elbow as you tease him.

"How many times have we watched movies like this, and you still get so flustered!" you tease him and he just groans as he tries to play it cool.

"Darling please," he whines as he turns away. "It's just so... explicit!"

You laugh as you kiss his hand that covers his face, "Come on, honey, it isn't that bad."

You pry his fingers off until his cute pink face in view. You giggle as you kiss his nose, then his cheek, settling into his lap as you do so.

You can feel his rock hard member locked away behind is pants, and both of you are trapped in an air of lust and wanting.

Tomas voices his wanting, using his newfound skills from the show.

"I'm just as good with button, if you want to test my skills."

=====================

EASY MONEY

guys my inbox is getting full i love this

okay see yall in the next fic!

[steddieas-shegoes]

i wanna be your slave

for @subeddieweek day six with the prompt public sex

rated e | 1,596 words | please check ao3 for tags

Day one:  ao3 | tumblr Day two: ao3 | tumblr Day three: ao3 | tumblr Day four: ao3 | tumblr  Day five: ao3 | tumblr

⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕

Eddie should have taken the opportunity to run back inside and use the phone that he knew was sitting in the office backstage to call someone before the rain started coming down harder. He should have risked getting stuck inside the heated building instead of getting stuck inside his van that wouldn’t start in the middle of winter.

Rain storms shouldn’t even happen in December. Shouldn’t it all be snow or something?

He groaned and banged his head against the wheel.

The rain continued to pour down, louder and faster, to the point where Eddie could barely even hear himself think.

At least Steve would probably come check here when he realized he wasn’t at the trailer.

He just had to make it through the next 30 minutes or so. The rain might even stop by then.

Eddie hummed to himself, any song he could think of, even one of Corroded Coffin’s newest attempts at an original song. He played with his hair, braiding and unbraiding the same strands over and over to keep his hands busy.

He checked his watch more frequently than was helpful.

Eventually, headlights flashed in his side mirror and he heard the low rumble of another car.

He checked to see that it was Steve before unlocking the door and jumping out.

Steve barely had his car in park before he jumped out of, leaving the car running as he rushed over to pull Eddie against him.

“Shit, baby, I was so worried. What happened?”

For some reason, Eddie felt tears pooling in his eyes.

It was just an issue with the van, and probably a pretty easy repair for Wayne to do tomorrow. It’s not like he got stranded alone for hours getting soaked in the rain. It’s not like Steve forgot about him.

“Oh, baby boy.” Steve’s hands cupped his cheeks and Eddie couldn’t really tell if he had actually started crying or if the rain was falling down his face. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

“It won’t start,” Eddie shivered. It may have been a bit warmer than usual for December this week, but it was still barely 40 degrees, and with the ice cold rain falling on them, Eddie knew he’d get sick if he stayed out in it for much longer.

“C’mon, I have the heat on in my car. Let’s get you warm.”

Steve gently guided him into the backseat, surprising him by joining him instead of getting in the driver’s seat to take them home.

“Jacket and shirt off, c’mon,” Steve nudged his jacket off his shoulders and Eddie sniffed as he followed his instructions. “If you take everything off, you’ll get warmer faster.”

“You just want me naked in the backseat of your car, Harrington,” Eddie grumbled, but knew he was right. He managed to get his soaking wet jeans off and left everything in a pile on the floorboards. “Now what?”

Steve reached under his own body and pulled out a towel, unfolding it and gesturing for Eddie to move for a minute so he could lay it out across the seat.

“Were you a Boy Scout or something?” Eddie felt the warmth slowly seeping into his pores, though his hair was still dripping onto his bare shoulders and chest.

“Nah. Just learned to be prepared for anything.” Steve’s hand rested on his knee. “I’m gonna shut off the headlights while we sit here. Just hang tight.”

Eddie was naked in the backseat of Steve’s car in the parking lot of Hawkins High while lightning flashed directly across from them and rain beat the roof of the car.

If he wasn’t living this moment, he never would’ve believed it was possible.

Steve’s hands were warm when they circled Eddie’s wrists, pulling him into Steve’s lap. He’d removed his own clothes sometime in the last minute when Eddie was lost in thought.

“Just gonna stay here for a few minutes while you warm up, okay?”

Eddie nodded.

And then it actually hit him that they were both naked.

No one would be checking on them as long as this storm was happening.

No one would even see their cars in the parking lot with how heavy the rain was right now.

They could do anything they wanted.

As if he could read his mind, Steve huffed a laugh against Eddie’s shoulder. “You’re always so eager to get fucked, aren’t you sweet boy? Even if someone could see.”

“No one will see,” Eddie protested.

“Maybe I want people to see.”

Eddie felt himself getting hard at the thought of them being caught, of Steve Harrington having to explain to Officer Powell why they were both naked in the backseat of his car. Of how many people had probably been fucked in the back of this car, but how none of those people had gotten Steve like this.

“Maybe I wanna fuck you so good that you scream my name so loud the people in the neighborhood a mile away hear and call the cops. Maybe I hope someone stops by to check on the cars and sees me so deep inside you they couldn’t possibly separate us.”

Eddie whimpered.

Yeah, he needed Steve to fuck him. Now.

“You’re still wet from when I got my tongue in you earlier, baby,” Steve said as he ran his thumb across his hole, still slick with spit. “But I came prepared tonight.”

Steve held up a small bottle of lube. Was that travel size? Did they seriously make a travel size bottle of lube? And Steve bought it?

Eddie loved him so much.

“Relax for me, baby. Gonna open you up more so you can sit on my cock. Gonna be nice and warm after, okay?” Steve’s lips brushed against his neck, his collarbone, his nipple. His fingers, now coated with lube, rubbed at his entrance.

One finger pushed in, quickly followed by a second one. Steve was good at reading him, knew exactly what he could take and what he needed.

Eddie liked to feel full, even if it had just a hint of too much, just a tiny little twinge of pain.

“Gonna ride my fingers?” Steve cupped the back of his head with his free hand, scratching at his scalp.

Eddie hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it, didn’t notice the way he rose and fell naturally as Steve worked him open. He wasn’t even trying to get more from him, he never had to push really. Steve was eager to give him more before Eddie had to beg.

At least since they started referring to each other as boyfriends, anyway.

A third finger entered him, and Eddie groaned at the stretch.

“Feels good,” Eddie threw his head back, only getting a little frustrated at the way the top of his head brushed against the roof of the car. It wasn’t ideal to be doing this in such a small space, but it was hot.

“Gonna spread you out on my bed next time so I can watch. Love seeing you open up on my fingers,” Steve bit down on his shoulder, both of them moaning as Steve’s fingers worked faster.

“Need you, need you. Please.”

Okay, so maybe he still had to beg a little.

But the moment he asked, Steve’s fingers were being replaced by his leaking cock, pushing in slow enough for Eddie to tell him to stop if he needed a minute.

“Fuck,” Eddie’s head fell onto Steve’s shoulder, putting him at a somewhat awkward angle, but Steve’s cock brushed perfectly against his prostate. “Oh, fuck. Can I come?”

“Now? Already?” Eddie could hear the knowing smirk in Steve’s voice and he wasn’t a fan.

“Yes, now. Already. Please.”

“Come when you want. But I’m not stopping until I’ve filled you up,” Steve said as he moved his hips faster.

True to his word, when Eddie came not even a minute later, shaking apart in Steve’s lap, tears dripping onto his still slightly rain-damp skin, Steve kept thrusting in and out. He didn’t even slow down, just kept the pace that Eddie knew he needed to get off.

The constant pressure against his prostate after he came was almost too much, and definitely would be too much soon. He felt the haze of overstimulation washing over him, let his brain go a bit cloudy as Steve used him to get off.

They didn’t do this very often; Steve was very much against possibly actually hurting Eddie and fucking him after his orgasm usually led to him wincing in pain. But sometimes, when the timing was just right, Eddie would start to float into subspace just when things got a bit less comfortable.

“Color, baby.”

“Green. Feel good.”

“Yeah, you look like you feel good, sweet boy.”

The compliments always made him float faster, make him drift just that bit further away, where he could just be held by Steve and know that he was being taken care of.

The rain seemed to be quieter, but Eddie couldn’t be bothered to move his face from the safety of Steve’s neck right now.

Steve’s hands tightened against his back, pushing him down onto his cock.

Warmth filled him as Steve moaned against his ear.

“So good for me, baby,” Steve whispered, his hips slowing to a stop. “Wish I could stay inside you forever.”

“Stay.”

Steve laughed. “I can’t stay inside you, sweet boy. Gotta clean you up and get you home.”

“Later.”

Steve gave him a minute or two, maybe longer, it was hard to tell with his brain checked out.

Day seven: ao3 | tumblr

[hellfirenacht]

Reader ==> Enjoy Your New Car!

Summery: Through no powers of your own, you end up in Hawkins 1985, in a tv show that you once saw on Netflix. Slow burn, Eddie Munson x Reader will be canon, choose your own adventure to a degree, monkey’s paw author.

Isekai Chronicles Master List

START HERE <<<--- FIRST CHAPTER HERE

Chapter Summery: You get a new (old) car! That should help you get around Hawkins... right?

Tags: Eddie and Reader, sfw

Work Count: 2.8 k

Reader ==> Enjoy Your New Car!

The junk car that you managed to scrape together a couple hundred dollars for worked well enough for the first two weeks. It had no heating, no radio, the seats were uncomfortable, and there was a lingering scent that you couldn’t get rid of no matter how much you tried to clean it, but it drove you to the Hideout and the high school, and to the trailer you now called home. 

That was until about a half hour ago when the key snapped in the slot to turn the engine on. Could you ever catch a break? Just fucking once while you were here? 

You nearly jumped out of your seat and through the roof of your rust bucket when you heard a tap at the window. You looked to see Eddie, frowning at you and you manually cranked down the window. 

“Evenin’ officer. How can I help you?” you asked, trying not to sound as defeated as you felt in that moment.  

“This is a no parking zone.” He said, leaning over and resting his arms on the open window. It was late November, and the cold was consistent now, but you hardly noticed with how you’d been just staring out the windshield for the past thirty or so minutes. “Neighbors have been sending in complaints.”

You looked behind you at the neighboring trailers. There were at least 2 that had broken down cars within the block, one that’s been sitting on cinder blocks since before you arrived and one that the neighbor had been working on for a few weeks on and off. Other cars were scattered and parked near their own trailers, haphazardly. 

“I’ll be sure to move it.” you said, more dry than intended. 

“So why are you sitting out here in your car, staring out into space?” Eddie asked and looked out the way your car was facing, as if trying to see if there was anything interesting in that general direction. There wasn’t. 

“Car’s broke.”

“How broke?”

You held up the piece of plastic where your key had been attached to. 

“So the car’s fine, but the key broke.” Eddie clarified.

“Is there a difference?” You asked. 

“There is. If the car was busted then you’d be fucked out of this rust bucket-”

“Eddie, you can’t say things like that.-” you rubbed your face, now feeling the cold in the contrast to the warmth in your cheeks. 

“What I’m saying is I can help.” He continued. “Do you have any tools?”

“Uhhh....”

“Follow me.” 

You got out of the car, not bothering to roll the window back up, and followed Eddie back to his trailer across the park. It wasn’t a long walk, you had already come to visit your friend more than a few times since you moved in. You felt a little bad, you found yourself spending time at Eddie’s place more than your own. 

“So, what brought you to my end of the park?” you asked as the two of you walked. The ground was covered in a thin layer of frost that wouldn’t fully commit to snow or ice.

“Boredom.” he said honestly. “I fried my brain trying to learn this new riff I’ve been working on and I needed a break.” 

“New song for the set?” You asked. “It’s about time, I get that one Judas Priest song is a staple, but you’ve beaten it into the ground at this point.” 

“Prowler isn’t going anywhere as long as it’s the one song everyone can play consistently.” Eddie protested. “And it’s a new original song I’m working on.” 

“That’s actually really cool.” you followed him into his slightly warmer trailer and watched as he opened a tiny closet and pulled out a tool box. “How many original songs do you have?” 

“Three and a half.” Eddie said. “We uh.. We started with a song that Ronnie and I wrote together. We don’t play that one anymore, but we’ve got one other song, and this one that I’m working on now.”

“Why don’t you play the first song?” You asked as you followed him back out. 

Eddie’s face went stoic for a moment, staring at the dirty green toolbox. “It just didn’t work out.” he finally said, and you had a feeling he wasn’t interested in talking about the song. “The second song is called Litch and if Jeff can commit to learning the vocals then we’d actually be able to play it at the Hideout at some point. They always hesitate on playing our original songs.”

“I’d like to hear your original stuff at some point.” you said, following him back out into the cold. 

“If I can get the guys to commit, then you’ll hear it at some point.” Eddie said, leading the way back to your car. 

There were times where the two of you couldn’t shut up for five seconds, and then there were times where the silence between the two of you was deafening. Sometimes you felt like you were getting somewhere with your friendship with Eddie, and sometimes... sometimes you wondered if he thought about you at all when you weren’t around. 

He came over to see you. Of course he thinks about you. You told yourself, watching the subtle way his hair moved as the two of you walked together. 

Eddie hopping into the driver seat of your car and you moved into the passenger side seat next to him, with the toolbox between the two of you. He immediately pulled out some pliers and started messing with the key slot, trying to get the broken bit of metal out. 

You focused on his face, watching the way his eyes narrowed in concentration and the way his tongue subtly poked out from between his lips. That was something you noticed he did a lot. His brows were furrowed and from your angle it almost gave him a unibrow until he moved his fringe to the side. It was a little longer than it had been in the past two months and you wondered how often he cut it. 

“Shit.” he muttered and leaned back against the seat, his hands resting on the wheel. “Yeah, it’s really jammed in there.” 

“So I’m fucked out of this rust bucket?” you asked, frowning. 

“I... there’s another option.” Eddie said, staring at the wheel. “It’s not a smart option. It’d be stupid, actually and not really safe. And I’d have to do something not completely within the letter of the law.” 

You paused and stared at him. “Don’t you sell special K to high schoolers?” 

“That was once and I overcharged them.” Eddie said. “I save that for a different clientele.” 

For now. You thought. 

“So, what’s the illegal method you have to help me with my car?” you asked. 

Eddie took a deep breath and seemed to refuse to look at you. “We can hotwire it.”

“Hotwire... I’m sorry, what?” you looked at him surprised. “You know how to hotwire a car?” Had that been part of the show? You really wished that you had watched season four more than once over a year ago. It didn’t help that the longer you stayed here, the less you seemed to remember. You had your private box and notebook tucked away in your closet under a blanket, but you only pulled that out when you absolutely had to. Paranoia stopped you from reading everything too closely, and the idea of being caught with the things in that box... you shuddered to think about what would happen and how you’d explain yourself. 

Eddie didn’t say anything for a moment before he pulled a screwdriver from the toolbox. “It’s up to you. I can hotwire the car and teach you how to start it up like that, or you can call a tow and pay to have the key fixed.”

You thought about the options for a while, you were already eating ramen for most of your meals to pay for the car. The car clearly wasn’t worth more than the couple hundred you had paid for it, and you really were convinced that you’d overpaid for it. 

Fuck it. 

Eddie wasn’t gentle with the way he ripped open the dashboard and he started pointing out the different wires. You did stop him for a moment to grab a sheet of paper to write it down. Eddie insisted that after you’ve done it once, you wouldn’t need the cheat sheet, but you weren’t going to take any chances. 

“So.. how’d you learn to do this?” you asked as he rubbed two wires together, flicking them almost. You didn’t think he’d answer, but then the car suddenly rumbled to life and he actually smiled, looking proud of himself. 

“My dad.” Eddie explained. “We didn’t exactly have a traditional relationship growing up. Some kids got birthday parties and trips to the zoo, I got lessons on hotwiring cars and trips to the bar to learn cheap tricks for money. That only lasted until I was about ten when I stopped being small and cute.” 

“Shit.” you said, looking at him, trying to decide on how you’re supposed to respond to that lore that was just dropped on you. Eddie didn’t open up often, and this had to be a sign of trust, right? “...Want me to fight your dad?”

Eddie snorted at your question. “I bet my uncle would take you up on that.” he shook his head. “No reason to, I haven’t seen him in years. He’s probably in jail right now, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s been locked up.”

“Want me to break in and beat him up anyway?” you offered. “I’m sure I could figure it out.” 

“Your stealth rolls are shit.” he said. 

“You sound like Gareth. What I can or can’t do in D&D is completely different from what I could do in real life.” you said. 

“And how exactly do you plan on sneaking in to beat up my dad?” he asked, amusement in his eyes. 

“I’ll walk in, bat my eyelashes, and ask to visit him. Then when he’s in front of me I start swinging.” you punched your own hand for good measure. 

“I’m pretty sure you have to be a relative to visit someone in jail.” Eddie said. “And I’m not exactly itching to see him again, even if you decide to start a fight.”

“Okay, so my car is now on.” you said, on a roll now. “Hear me out, Eddie. You and I go to the courthouse right now and get married- I said hear me out, I’m not done-. I take your last name, use that to get into the prison to visit your dad, and then I can beat him up. I leave, we get divorced, we split with all of our own shit since we don’t have kids or shared property. Easy.”

Eddie rubbed his cheek as he laughed. “Bad idea, you’d be stuck with my last name. Munson doesn’t really get you anywhere in this town.”

“‘Lipton’ isn’t exactly doing me any favors either.” you pointed out. “Go big or go home, Eddie.”

“You are home.” he motioned to the trailer.

You weren’t, and you didn’t think you’d ever be again. 

“So, is that a no on marriage?” you asked, leaning close to him with your hand over your heart. You gave him your best pout. “I’m heartbroken.” 

“You were only going to marry me to get to my dad.” He gives you a playful shove away from him. 

“Yeah, but you’d be a bonus.” you said, blurting out the words without thinking. Ah, fuck, you weren’t supposed to be flirting. Flirting was a bad idea, a very very bad idea. You had made the decision a while ago that it was a bad idea. 

If he turned you down, it could be awkward and that could fuck up your chance to save him. If he dated you and it went badly that would make your chances worse. 

Focus on the mission, and not the way Eddie sounds when he laughs or how impossibly pretty his eyes are get your shit together and stop that-

“Nice to know you think I’m such a prize.” Eddie said casually, maybe a little too casually for how he usually talked. 

“When we divorce you can use that to fuel your music. I look forward to hearing the break-up album.” You tried to smooth your genuine flirting over by committing to the bit. 

“If I ever sell out, I’ll write our divorce album.” Eddie replied. “Until then, I’ll stick with singing about Hell and demons and references to my campaigns.” 

You don’t know why the idea of him writing songs about his campaigns made your stomach explode with butterflies, but it did. Maybe it was because you were now part of the campaigns and knowing that made you feel special. Like you were actually a part of something, part of him. 

Stop that. 

“Oh shit, I was actually doing something.” you realized and shook your head. “Right, I wasn’t just sitting here for fun. I had to go get groceries.” 

“That would explain why you were sitting in here when I found you.” Eddie agreed. “Do you... Want company?”

He wanted to go grocery shopping with you? That surprised you a lot. It almost felt domestic-

“Yeah, sure.” you agreed, pushing any other thoughts out of your head. “I need you to come anyway.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, you showed me how to start the car but you didn’t tell me how to turn it off.” 

Eddie laughed and hopped out of the car so that you could scoot back into the driver's seat. He hopped in next to you and it felt like things were swapped now. You had spent weeks in his passenger seat and now he was sitting in yours. 

If this was going to be a regular occurrence, you were tempted to slap a BABY ON BOARD sticker on the back of your car. 

As you pulled out of the trailer park, Eddie rummaged around his jacket and pulled out a cassette. 

“Radio’s broke.” you warned as he stuck the tape in and pushed play. To your surprise, music started playing through the speakers. 

“Tape player isn’t.” he said, looking proud of himself. “You can keep this one.”

“Keep...?” you asked. He’d loaned to tapes before, but that was always with the promise you’d return them. 

“Yeah, I already have all these songs.” Eddie fidgeted with one of his rings casually. “I thought you might need something to fill the silence. You know, since you’re always coming over to listen to music with me.”

You really did, the quiet of being home alone had been grating on you and you had been spending as much time as you could with Eddie at his place. 

“Is this your way of giving me a hint that I’ve overstayed my welcome?” you asked wryly, feeling a knot in your stomach at the thought. 

“No! No, not that.” Eddie said quickly. “No, uh... I just thought you’d like these songs. You told me you liked a few of them.”

“So... you made me a mixtape?” you asked, trying to remain calm despite the fact that your brain was screaming. 

“I had some time to kill, and you were complaining about not having anything to listen to so...” he shrugged. 

Maybe you’d ask him to marry you for real. You didn’t even had a tape player, or anything other than your car to listen to it but you didn’t care.

Next up, get a tape player for Emergency Vecna Use. And batteries. All the batteries. You added to the endless list of to-do’s to prepare you for Hawkins High’s Spring Break. 

“Thank you.” you said, feeling genuinely touched that he went out of his way to do that for you. “Really. I’ll listen to it until it disintegrates.” 

“I’ll make you a new one when that happens.” Eddie promised. 

Conversations drifted back into easy territory after that. Hellfire, dungeons and dragons, comics, work. It felt so easy talking to him in these moments when it was just the two of you. It had been so long since that first disastrous hang out session, but somehow he’d still let you keep hanging out. 

You wished that things could be different.

For now, you just decided to do what you did best when hanging out alone with him. You pretended that your ID was legitimate, that you were some vague relative of his drug supplier, and that you two could be normal friends, doing normal things. 

For now, that would have to be enough. 

Reader ==> Learn How to Hotwire a Car was submitted by my Green Heart Anon <3

So what would you like to see Reader do next?

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Dividers by @strangergraphics

[justkidneying]

Fever

I see a lot of misconceptions about fever floating around the web, so I'm gonna try and set some things straight. We're gonna talk about what fever is, how it is caused, and types of fever. Then I'll give some writing tips. Just a note, with a lot of things, there are exceptions and special cases. I'm going to go over the most common stuff cause this isn't an immunology course.

What is a fever? The normal body temp (the average of a bunch of people) is 98.2°F. Individuals can differ from this within a degree. A fever is usually a temperature greater than 100°F. There's some leeway to this, and it takes a lot of experience to get a feel for what should be a normal temperature. But if someone comes into the office with a 100°F temp, I'm going to say that they have a fever.

So with fever (ignoring the symptoms of whatever caused it), you're generally going to have malaise, chills, paleness, and rigors (muscle contractions). There may also be behavioral symptoms such as seeking warmer environments, altered mental status, and assuming a fetal position to help warm the body. The peripheral vessels will constrict in order to keep blood in the central body. Once the fever has passed, there will be chills and sweating.

What causes fever? Fever is caused by pyrogens. These can be endogenous (from you) or exogenous (from something else). The main endogenous ones are interlueukin-1, interferon gamma, and tumor necrosis factor α. These are made by immune cells and a few other cell types. Exogenous pyrogens are made by other microorganisms. An example of this is lipopolysaccharide, which is made by gram-negative bacteria. Exogenous pyrogens induce the production of endogenous pyrogens, which induce the production of Prostaglandin E2. PGE2 acts on the hypothalamus to set the body's thermostat higher. This induces the effects seen in order to raise the body's temperature. Fever helps to stimulate the immune system and inhibits microorganism growth (too hot for them). So it's a good thing, unless it gets too high and your organs shut down and your brain melts like butter (i'm kidding...but really, it's bad). I'd say over 110°F and you're probably going to die.

What are the patterns of fever? There are three fever patterns, and they are associated with different pathologies. They are sustained, intermittent, and remittent fever. Sustained fevers are exactly what they sound like. They don't fluctuate more than a degree in a day and never touch normal baseline temp. These are typically seen with pneumonia, typhoid, bacterial meningitis, and UTI.

Intermittent fever is a fever that is only present for a few times throughout the day, with the temp going up above normal and back down to normal. This is seen with malaria, septicemia (a serious bacterial infection -> think septic shock), pyogenic infections (bacteria that cause pus formation), and TB.

Remittent fever fluctuates more than two degrees throughout the day, but does not ever touch normal baseline temps. These are seen with infectious diseases.

These patterns are okayish, but sometimes people don't always have a disease that matches the fever type. I think typhoid, TB, and tick-borne diseases (they cause a relapsing fever) are the best diseases to use fever patterns for.

Writing Tips

Okay, so first off I think fever is great for writing. So to find out what's going to happen, you need to pick out what the nature of the illness is. The most common one I see is infection from a wound of some kind. So this is going to be bacterial. I would say that you are most likely to have an infection with staph, strep, or pseudomonas. These are naturally found on the body, but are not meant to be inside you. A cut in your skin lets them in. This is bad. So your immune system will notice them and release pyrogens, and then you get PGE2, and then you get fever.

I would probably say you'd get the standard symptoms above, plus pain, swelling, and redness at the site of the infection. It's going to be an intermittent fever probably (could end up as remittent). So you would want to treat the infection itself. If there are no antibiotics or antipyretics (anti fever drugs), then you would have to clean and disinfect the wound, and basically hope that the immune system can do its thing. You can wipe the person down or use a cool compress on them, but this doesn't really reduce fever that much and is more of just a temporary relief.

Anyways, I hope this was helpful and as always, sources are in the comments. You can let me know if you have a specific situation you would want some info on in the comments/askbox/DM.

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 24, 9/27/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

A Wedding in the Hermitcitizen Hub!

By Corrundumcat

Wedding bells chime out over the emerald rolling hills of Hermitcraft Season 9 as the Newspaper team and many other individuals come together to celebrate Nes, Alistair, and Roo getting married. There was a flurry of emotions in that chapel, some were understandable like Thorne preparing to crash the wedding photos and break every bone in his body, just for the bit. The sound of chatter was a cheerful murmur which could be heard for kilometers (sorry, Americans) around. The sounds of this wedding drifted through the Autumn evening. The evening’s events kicked off with The Overseer leading the guests into the cathedral and making sure everyone was seated and comfortable. The officiant of the wedding, Mr. Xisumavoid himself, looked slightly nervous. This reporter can only assume that it has been a hot minute since he officiated a citizen wedding. There was a slight wind and chill in the air. It was a brisk 19 degrees celsius outside with a slightly warmer 20 degrees celsius inside the cathedral. Once all of the guests were seated, the announcer Joe Hills themselves stepped up to the Microphone and gave a short Haiku welcoming everyone to the venue. As the Hermitcraft orchestra played the song “Exhale” from Sky Children Of The Light, The entire body of The Overseer minus Roo of course because y’know Roo’s the one getting married. Roo’s dress with a suit jacket was a deep midnight blue. If you looked closely you could see the stars from above glinting ever so slightly. Inside the jacket were the star maps of Hermitcraft as well as a paw print of one of the rats from the office. 

As is my understanding the colour theme was blues. So rather monochromatic. As the gaggle of a wedding party glided down the isle coloured light filtering down upon them. Nes and Alistair. Nes wore a stunning white to blue gown which in the coloured light glittered. The dress was like fairy floss with how floofy and puffy it was. Alistair’s suit complimented Nes' dress nicely. The wedding party all wore prismarine blue suits/dresses and carried blue bouquets. Azure walked down the aisle infornt of Nes and Alistair Variety throwing deep blue flowers. As the party walked up to the altar and peeled off to sit in the front row Roo, Nes and Alistair hugged each other. 

Next came the vows. They were all heart felt, some more comedic than others. 

And then they were married. In this moment of happiness it felt peaceful. 

When the wedding party went outside to take photos the wind picked up slightly to add to the atmosphere. The photos turned out great mostly and then there was one which ended up wonderful. 

… That was the one that Thorne photobombed. Thorne committed to the bit so much that if it wasn’t as hilarious and that he didn’t immediately respawn that this author would have been writing another obituary. 

The newlyweds gave each guest a small flower to keep in their bases. 

From the whole office, the server, the watchers, listeners and those in between we wish you three an amazing marriage. 

Now onto other news under the cut!

This Week At The Overseer HQ: Decked Out Schemes

By Lydia

After the wedding, the staff of The Overseer returned to their newfound temporary pastime of eagerly watching and making bets on their favorite Hermits’ runs of Decked Out. The betting pool began shortly before the debut of Decked Out, with the staff planning on keeping the scores in shifts so that they would all have time to partake in running the ostentatious obstacle course themselves. While the cats have decided to abstain from participating in the betting pool, the rats leapt at the chance to make their predictions known. The staff has wasted no time at all in their pursuit of both game victories and the bragging rights of predicting the Hermits’ results after each long session.

The Overseer staff’s runs of Decked Out have ranged from dying two minutes into the run to completing several games in a variety of methods, almost all of them involving them trying and failing to break the redstone, hiding in corners, and using sticky tack to attempt to climb the walls and ceilings. Citizens have noted their surprise that the staff has not yet been banned from the game, but the Decked Out Crew has stated that they find the staff “incompetently entertaining,” and “A hilarious display of a freakshow running through a dungeon.” Some staff members took this as a compliment and hatched an idea: charging citizens to watch them run recklessly through the course without a care to be seen. This idea was enthusiastically received with several tomatoes to their faces and boos from their fellow players. Undeterred, the staff continued to play the game with a considerably smaller audience watching them be hurled into the walls by Ravagers and psionically split in half by Wardens.

While the staff has been solely focused on Decked Out for the past few weeks, the rats of The Overseer testing their craftsmanship, creating a collection of Overseer merchandise and attempting to sell it for an exorbitant amount of diamonds to any passing Citizens. A few staff members who have caught wind of this have decided to fully invest in this scheme, adding their own embellishments and claiming that all of their merchandise has magical properties, though this is far from the case, as anyone who can detect magic would be able to tell unwitting citizens. Following suit to those who responded to the attempt to offer paid showings to audiences to watch the staff run Decked Out, those who had realized that the merchandise is not magical in nature took to throwing eggs at the building and staff members who had attempted to dupe them.

Dividing time between the ceaseless entertainment of Decked Out and the book keeping of The Overseer’s paper sales and merchandise has since resulted in an ever-revolving schedule based almost entirely on a Chore Wheel, with all of the recurring weekly article categories, cleaning days, and snack lists written in crayon on construction paper. It would be remiss to overlook the involvement of the rats in this endeavor, as they have been utmostly stringent in keeping the office space in its most polished condition. The staff noted how impressive it is that so many tiny paws could turn a cluttered miniature maze of offices (many without any walls) into a pristine, air-freshened, and perfectly uncluttered structure. The rats are paid handsomely with both diamonds and pizza, though they appear to only care for the guarantee of incoming pizza on a weekly basis.

Although the required volunteering stint at The Office of Unofficial Hermitcraft Documentation has ended for The Overseer staff, a few members of the newspaper had realized that they had taken a liking to working a second day job and had decided to stay, though they were encouraged by those in the office to be aware of their work-life balance and not to spend too much time hunched over their keyboards and creating communication devices. Some of the staff members who chose to take the extra endeavor noted staying because they enjoyed seeing the reactions of new citizens when asked a series of unrelated questions in particular, including but not limited to inquiries about the level of acid one could shoot from their fingertips, the potential reshaping of their wings should the Watchers desire it, whether they believe the Sculk infection will ever be cured, whether they have played that new video game everyone’s been raving about, and what their favorite biome delicacies are. Other staff members who have stayed have noted enjoying the benefits of the near daily doughnut breakfasts and have been stealing all of the extra doughnuts and special drinks to bring back to The Overseer Headquarters.

As the staff reaches the end of its update for this brief view into its members' lives, The Overseer would like to thank all of our readers for continuing to support our newspaper each week. We hope that you have a wonderful time reading our recurring issues and with Decked Out!

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will remain sunny throughout the entire day with low wind speeds. Clouds in the shape of spiderwebs will be scattered throughout the sky.

Thursday: Temperatures will become cooler throughout the rest of the week, reaching a high of 20 degrees and a low of 8 degrees today. Skies will remain fairly clear with a slight chance of more spiderweb clouds.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 22 degrees and a low of 10 degrees. Skies will have scattered showers throughout the afternoon, with a very high chance of raining amethyst shards throughout the day. Make sure to keep your head covered.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 19 degrees and a low of 7 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny throughout the day with high winds.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 11 degrees. Skies will be mostly rainy today with low winds.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 9 degrees. Skies will remain mostly rainy with a very high frequency of psionic screeches throughout all areas coming from other dimensions. This is a good time to get some earplugs!

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear throughout the day, but whirlpools will be very frequent in all oceans.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of -5 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day without any unusual effects.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: Lost Cats These small gremlins may have escaped a laboratory. They are two Maine Coons that have been shrunken down to the size of two peas. They bite frequently and were found fighting off two rats, becoming the victors. They are in a tupperware terrarium the size of an average drawing tablet with air holes and chopped up cat food.

Item 2: A book of Hermitcraft landmarks This book seems to have been compiled to record materials and the building time spans for all of the large bases of Hermitcraft from Seasons 2 through 7. This book has a teal and green cover with a crude illustration of the Hermitcraft logo on the front.

Item 3: A knitted sweater This sweater says “Eat Your Cake” and has a depiction of a knife cutting a piece of strawberry shortcake with blood coming from it. There are two eyeballs depicted on the top of the piece. The rest of the sweater is a beige color with pastel stitching scattered throughout the base.

Item 4: A collection of old boots These pairs of boots come in all kinds, including working boots, hiking boots, leather boots, stiletto boots, snow boots, dress boots, rain boots, and horse riding boots. They come in an array of colors, including red, orange, blue, brown, black, green, and yellow.

Item 5: A jukebox disc that plays a series of different laughs This disc includes the laughs of hyenas, drunken partygoers, elated musicians, Decked Out Wardens, and of victorious players in MCC. Far from the mere stock laughter played in sitcoms, these laugh tracks sound as if they were recorded and edited in the style of The OKeh Laughing Record, which was recorded in Germany by Beka Records in 1920. Listeners report the disc giving them an eerie but not unpleasant feeling upon listening to it.

Item 6: A class schedule of nonsensical courses This class schedule contains a series of courses that do not appear to be based in any traceable science, arithmetic, literature, or language, nor do they appear to be rooted in any previously established form of Hermitcraft records. No name was found on the class schedule, although it appears to have been printed rather recently. No academic institution was found associated with the schedule, either. The courses include the following:

11:15 The Phainey System of the Brain 12:30 Digestive Studies of Owl Rats 1:15 Lunch 2:30 Rudimentary Math of Insectoid Brains 3:15 Advanced Literature of Imelda’s Pocket Dimension 4:30 Introduction to Helium Language 5:15 Dinner 6:30 Advanced Theatrical Memory Recollection

Item 7: A collection of Overseer Merchandise A collection of sweatshirts, watches, snow globes, sunglasses, socks, and tote bags with The Overseer logo was found in a large shopping bag just outside of Scarland.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week!

[apuckishwit]

Interlude: The Besties Conspire

A preview of chapter 28 of Rolled a 1 on the Check, Rolled a 20 on the Save on AO3

All told, living with Steve turns out to be one of the best decisions she and Vickie have ever made.

There are a few hiccups and minor squabbles of course. Going from living alone (or with just his significant other) to having three roommates is an adjustment for Steve. Despite knowing it’s a good idea that will benefit them tremendously in the long run, it is kind of a weird dynamic to be letting Steve pay the entirety of the rent and just pitch in for groceries and utilities. Logically, she knows he can well afford it and he’s doing it out of love and a desire to help pull her, Vickie, and Chrissy up into the place of financial stability his grandparents’ trust fund let him achieve…but it’s still kind of weird.

They work through it, and within a few weeks, it’s smooth sailing. Chrissy throws herself into interviewing for a teaching position in and around her hometown, with her student teaching coming to an end in another month. Robin and Vickie start talking about Vickie maybe quitting her job over the summer so she can apply for some of the internships her marketing professor talks about. It’s never been an option for them before, but it could really help Vickie land a good job when she graduates next year. Then she can support them while Robin finishes her linguistics degree. Steve starts classes and he and Chrissy often spend the evenings bent over his notes and books, going over things while he finds his stride in school again.

After about his second week of classes, it’s Chrissy who sits down with him and asks very nicely if he’s ever been tested for any learning disabilities. “You kind of remind me of some of my kids with ADD, but honestly, the way you describe things, you might just have a general processing delay. Your brain works just fine, it just takes a little longer to digest everything.”

“A few of my teachers wanted to have me tested over the years, but my parents never allowed it. I got by. I was thinking of going to student services and seeing what I’d have to do to get some kind of accommodations, but I got distracted getting registered and moving apartments and everything.”

“If you stop by the student services office and get the forms, I can help you fill them out and make an appointment for the testing. In the meantime, I really think it’d help you if you recorded your lectures instead of trying to take notes. That way, you can highlight the really important stuff as you go, and then come back for anything you missed later.”

Steve looks so stunned at the idea Robin has to laugh a little, even as her heart aches for the thought of her best friend struggling more than he had to, with parents who never cared enough about him to help.

Well fuck it, Steve’s got a whole new family now. One that absolutely will never leave him struggling by himself.

And it’s because he’s got a whole new family that will never leave him struggling, of which Robin is one of the chief parts if she does say so herself, that she and Vickie are determined to help him solve The Eddie Problem. All joking about emotional support lesbians and community bi laws aside, Steve’s her best friend. Her best friend who has made her and her girlfriend’s lives an order of magnitude less stressful, who she loves like a brother, and who she wants to see as deliriously happy with his partner as she is with hers (sue her—she’s happy and in love and she wants to spread that shit around like peanut butter on a slice of bread). And Steve seems pretty fixated on Eddie Munson, but utterly unconvinced that he has a shot.

Which is why she and Vickie are currently perched on the couch on either side of Steve, a huge plate of pulled pork loaded nachos (with the warmer weather, Steve’s cooking class has been doing barbecue lately, and it’s the best thing ever) balanced on Steve’s lap and his laptop set up on the coffee table in front of them. They’ve been watching recordings of this Eddie guy’s streams on and off for about a week now, a few hours at a time, and the number of times she and Vickie have exchanged loaded looks over Steve’s head is ludicrous.

A tilt of Vickie’s eyebrow as Eddie calls Steve some sappy pet name for the umpteenth time: Are you hearing this?

Robin presses her lips together and widens her eyes: He’s not being even remotely subtle.

Robin jerks her chin and shrugs a shoulder when Steve laughs a little too loudly at some joke Eddie’s just made: I can’t believe the dingus ever questioned if he was bi.

Vickie waggles her eyebrows: Right?

Robin sucks her cheeks in like a fish and rolls her eyes heavenward: They’ve got it so bad for each other, it’s making me physically ill.

Vickie smacks her lips and flutters her eyelashes: These nachos are incredible.

“Oh my God, they are!” Robin says out loud, prompting Steve to shoot her a confused look. Robin just ruffles his hair and stuffs another tortilla chip loaded down with pulled pork, barbecue sauce, melted cheese, red onions, and sour cream into her mouth. After a moment, Steve gets distracted by something on the stream, pausing it and rewinding it a few seconds only to listen to the same description of some guard tower in some town before letting out a triumphant hah!. He doesn’t elaborate though, and so Robin pays it no mind. She’s got bigger things to think about.

Like the fact that Eddie Munson has been heavily flirting with her best friend for literal months. Like, it’s not even “I want to get in your pants” flirting, they’re well into “I want to marry you and have your babies, shall we adopt or get a surrogate?” territory. But Steve…her dear, sweet dingus who is somehow simultaneously one of the most mature and emotionally intelligent people she knows and a completely oblivious idiot…will never believe her and Vickie if they tell him that.

She’s going to have to get creative.

She glances down into the chat window displayed at the bottom of Munson’s stream. She and Vickie both clocked the little tally game some of Munson’s regular viewers have going every time he and Steve do or say something that reveals how goddamn down bad they are for each other. And she’s also noticed that one of them in particular seems to be someone who knows Munson in real life, if the side comments he makes to the commenter on mic are anything to go by.

She looks over at her girlfriend and wrinkles her nose, slanting a look down at the chat window where Gare-Bear-Stare has just made another tally mark after Munson took actually kind of an absurdly long time describing Steve’s character’s muscles flexing as he helped heave one of the boys’ characters out of a river crossing: We should talk to this guy.

Vickie gives her a discreet thumbs-up: Absolutely.

Then she presses her hand to her bosom and swoons back against the couch: Seriously, this sauce is to die for.

“It is! I’d eat this on a floor tile!” Robin replies.

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Steve asks.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

More Moose-centric OJV headcanons bc I love that cat.

-so Stan, post college grad and working up the courage to actually put his degree to use (mans self doubt is beatin his ass), is volunteering at the local animal shelter, when someone brings a cardboard box to the front desk.

- they’re like “hey someone left this outside my building, I can’t really have a pet rn” and Stan looks in the box to see the TINIEST little brown cat looking up at him with big sad eyes and he just starts SOBBING.

- immediately decides that this kitten is coming home with him, tells the shelter owner he’s leaving early and BOOKS IT home, got the cat wrapped up in his jacket in the passenger seat, seat warmer on, and Stan’s talking to him still crying a little. The thing is, this boy’s been going through a really tough time and he’s been reading children’s books to comfort himself, so he has “Thidwick The Big Hearted Moose” by dr Seuss on the brain, so he’s like HOLY SHIT IM CALLING YOU MOOSE! And Moose is just vibin he’s a real good cat

- they get home and Stan realizes he didn’t tell Kyle (adhd boy moment) bc he was too excited so he’s FULLY expecting Ky to be mad at him for bringing a pet home spontaneously, but Kyle is JUST AS HAPPY AS HE IS!!! And later that night, when Kyle thinks Stan’s out of earshot, he’s whispering to Moose, thanking him for making Stan smile again askfhdjwl

- bringing Moose to the vet clinic where Wendy works to get his shots and a checkup gives Stan a push to actually apply there, and everyone there LOVES that cat, like Wendy’s facetiming Bebe (they’re married at this point btw) to show her and Stan has a job working with animals now, like Moose really pulled him out of a SadSack slump shout-out to Moose!

-Moose’s favorite spot in the WORLD is Kyle’s chest, like Ky cannot lay down anywhere without him curling up in the divot of his sternum, ESPECIALLY if he senses that something’s wrong. Like when Kyle’s sick or having a bad pain day, Moose is there purring like a lawn mower directly over his heart.

-that cat is spoiled as HELL like I’m talkin everyone who meets him falls immediately in love bc he’s so sweet and so little even years later, he’s also intuitive as fuck and a natural emotional support animal. Kenny builds him a sickass cat tree, if he wants some of whatever the boys are eating all he has to do is rub his little head on their hand and (as long as it won’t make him sick) he gets a bite lmao. He wants picked up? He gets picked up. And everyone knows Kyle Broflovski cannot say no to Big Sad Blue Eyes and Moose is no exception to that ajsgdkwjdk. When Craig and Tweek meet Moose, he LOVES Craig bc he’s quiet and calm and that connection helps crog get over his friendship barrier with Stan. Tweek is nervous around animals but eventually falls in love with Moose too.

- he’s a pretty chill cat, doesn’t yowl in the middle of the night or cause problems, doesn’t bite or scratch even playfully. Occasionally he’ll get suspicious when Stan comes home from work smelling like other animals, but he’s used to it. His zoomies are HILARIOUS but he’s a total crybaby when he gets stuck on top of a door or something and needs help getting down. Once he got himself on top of the kitchen cabinets while Stan wasn’t home, Kyle couldn’t reach him and his stubborn ass didn’t want to go across the hall to get Craig so he climbed onto the counter, fell and aggravated his bad knee, and Moose would NOT leave his side for days after. Moose still got himself stuck in the same place the next week.

-he loves to go on walks! He has a little red harness and WEARS LITTLE CAT SIZED SWEATERS IN THE WINTER!!! The three of them 100% do holiday cards In matching outfits oh my god.

- Moose likes to sit in the windowsill in the home office and *ekekeke* at birds it’s the funniest shit ever.

-he’s very good on car rides except when Kyle’s driving because that man gets horrible road rage and Moose is all oh ok dads mad that means something is Wrong everyone panic and he’s yelling and bouncing around the car and it’s funny but it’s really not bc ~danger~ and yeah if Kyle’s driving Moose is in the carrier lmao.

- is a MODEL patient at the vet (partly bc his dad is the vet in question and he trusts Stan with his whole tiny heart)

-oh my god ok so Stan’s AA chapter has a lot of people who bring their pets to meetings and whenever he brings Moose in everyone is SHOWERING him with attention it’s so cute all the old timers are all “that’s a good cat right there he takes a pet no problem” and he’s wandering the meeting hall saying hi to everyone social king!

- Moose has never met a person he hates. Except Randy. Moose hates Randy.

[beardedmrbean]

Newspaper Helsingin Sanomat covered a propaganda exhibition seen near the Finnish Embassy in Moscow.

The street exhibition dubbed "The Stages of Finnish Russophobia" by the Russian Military Historical Society, appeared opposite the Finnish Embassy in Moscow on Thursday, consisting of six billboard-style panels with text and images. However, a separate, larger exhibition with 16 panels also appeared roughly a kilometre away on Gogolevsky Boulevard.

The society's exhibition aims to show how Finland, having joined Nato and "turned its back on Russia", has actually been "anti-Russian" throughout history.

HS wrote that in Russia, it is still often difficult to understand, at least for ordinary citizens why Finland, which was widely considered neutral by the Russians, suddenly joined Nato and broke off decades of relations with Moscow.

The historical society said it located the exhibit opposite the Finnish Embassy because it is the sole remaining Finnish mission in Russia.

The street display attempts to illustrate Finland's history of Russophobia.

For example, pointing to the time in history when Finland was under Russian rule, the exhibit characterises the Nordic country as ungrateful.

Another panel highlights Finland's aspirations of a Greater Finland in the 1920s and 1930s, showing a map of Finnish nationalists' ambitions to annex land across wide swaths of Russian territory.

Other aspects of the propaganda exhibit detailed Finland's military actions in World War II against the Soviet Union and Finnish tourists drinking cheaply "at the expense of the Soviet Union" in the 1970s and 1980s. The exhibit ends with a panel showing Nato's new borders with Russia, along with military bases and tales of Finns fighting in Ukraine.

While most people walking past the exhibit did not want to speak to the Finnish newspaper reporter, one person said that the exhibit was a simple lashing out at Finland and Sweden because they joined Nato.

However, another passerby said: "Finland is part of Russia. Finns cannot live apart from Russia".

A circle of stars on a field of blue

Ahead of the upcoming EU Parliamentary elections, rural-focused newspaper Maaseudun Tulevaisuus, asked why the European Union flag is rarely seen.

When the flag is visible in Finland, it is often at press conferences or ports of entry, while it is seen more often in other EU countries.

Janne Juujärvi, an interior ministry senior specialist, pointed out that the use of the flag differs.

"Finland has a very strong culture of flagging with the Finnish flag, and the European flag is used, for example, alongside the Finnish one at border crossing points on the EU's external borders and at international airports and ports," explained Juujärvi.

"As a rule, the Finnish flag is only flown on official flag days. Then again, there are countries in Europe where, for example, flags are flown all the time outside office buildings," Juujärvi said.

MT explained there is also a logistical factor behind the issue — there's a lack of flagpoles.

If people in the Nordic country were to fly the EU flag as often as they hoist Finnish ones, they would need a second flag pole — which is not common in Finland.

Midsummer forecasts

Tabloid Iltalehti reported that Midsummer in Finland could be warm this year, according to the monthly forecast of the European Centre for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts.

As Midsummer is still three weeks away, the forecast is still unclear, but it looks like it'll be warmer than average across Finland over the long holiday weekend.

According to the Finnish Meteorological Institute (FMI) long-term forecast, the average high temperature for Midsummer will be around 20 degrees Celsius in the south and 14-16 degrees in the north. In the south, nighttime temperatures are forecast to be around 10 degrees and 4-6 degrees in the north.

After a few weeks of little precipitation, rainfall is expected to be above average in the weeks leading up to Midsummer, according to the paper.

[weather-usa]

A Visual Look at Milton’s Historic Impact Across Florida

Hurricane Milton struck Florida’s Gulf Coast on Wednesday night as a formidable Category 3 storm. It triggered tornadoes, unleashed heavy rainfall across much of the state, left millions without power, and claimed at least 16 lives, including five in St. Lucie County.

As the storm moves into the Atlantic, around 10 million residents are still facing dangerous coastal conditions through Friday. Milton set a record for being the fastest Atlantic hurricane to intensify from a tropical depression to Category 5 status in just over 48 hours, according to NASA.

Climate and Average Weather Year Round in 35801 - Huntsville AL:

Milton’s sustained wind speeds reached a peak of 180 miles per hour on Monday before decreasing to around 120 mph as the storm made landfall near Siesta Key at 8:30 p.m. Wednesday—just under two weeks after Hurricane Helene hit the state as a Category 4 storm.

This marks the third hurricane to impact Florida this year, a rarity that has occurred only five times since 1871. No recorded hurricane season has seen more than three hurricanes strike Florida.

The extremely warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico acted like rocket fuel for the hurricane, a phenomenon that has become hundreds of times more likely due to climate change, according to a recent analysis by the nonprofit research group Climate Central. Satellite data indicates that sea surface temperatures in the Gulf are currently 1 to 3 degrees Celsius warmer than the long-term average from 1985 to 2012.

While Milton’s heavy rainfall is leading to significant flooding and causing rivers to reach historic highs in some areas, FEMA Director Deanne Criswell stated that Florida avoided the worst-case scenario. Ongoing relief efforts include the rescue of at least 135 individuals from an assisted living facility.

As of Thursday, nearly a dozen river gauges across the state are at major flood stage. The Hillsborough River has already risen to 15.46 feet, surpassing the previous record of 15.33 feet set in 1960.

Weather Forecast For 85205 Mesa AZ:

https://www.behance.net/gallery/202817339/Weather-Forecast-For-85205-Mesa-AZ

All of these gauges are anticipated to remain at moderate or higher flood stages throughout the weekend, with some not cresting until at least Sunday.

Many areas in Florida are also dealing with the aftermath of tornadoes “supercharged” by Milton’s heavy rainfall, according to National Hurricane Center Director Michael Brennan. On Wednesday, at least nine tornadoes struck St. Lucie County, including three in under 25 minutes.

“We’ve never seen anything like that before,” Port St. Lucie Mayor Shannon Martin told CNN’s Jim Acosta on Thursday. “In almost 20 years that I’ve lived here, I know I’ve never experienced anything like this.”

Statewide, over 30 tornadoes have been reported since Wednesday, with more than 125 warnings issued by the National Weather Service offices in Tampa Bay, Melbourne, and Miami. This marks the highest number of tornado warnings ever recorded in a single day in Florida’s history, surpassing the previous record of 69 set during Hurricane Irma in 2017.

As Floridians assess the damage, over 3 million people were without power as of Thursday morning. The most significant power outages were reported along Florida’s west coast, particularly in Hardee and Highlands counties.

As of Friday, over 2,200 gas stations—approximately 29%—in Florida were out of fuel, according to the gas price-tracking platform GasBuddy. In areas that were more heavily impacted, the numbers were even higher: nearly three-quarters of gas stations in the Tampa and St. Petersburg region had no fuel by mid-morning Friday, while 54% of stations in Sarasota were also dry.

Milton formed toward the end of a busy Atlantic hurricane season, becoming the fifth hurricane to make landfall in the United States this year. It follows Category 1 storms Beryl and Debby, Category 2 Francine, and Category 4 Helene. This year has seen more hurricanes make landfall in the U.S. than in the combined total from 2021 to 2023.

See more:

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-83274

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-83276

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-83277

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-83278

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-83281

[jcmarchi]

Collaborative effort supports an MIT resilient to the impacts of extreme heat

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/collaborative-effort-supports-an-mit-resilient-to-the-impacts-of-extreme-heat/

Collaborative effort supports an MIT resilient to the impacts of extreme heat

Warmer weather can be a welcome change for many across the MIT community. But as climate impacts intensify, warm days are often becoming hot days with increased severity and frequency. Already this summer, heat waves in June and July brought daily highs of over 90 degrees Fahrenheit. According to the Resilient Cambridge report published in 2021, from the 1970s to 2000, data from the Boston Logan International Airport weather station reported an average of 10 days of 90-plus temperatures each year. Now, simulations are predicting that, in the current time frame of 2015-44, the number of days above 90 F could be triple the 1970-2000 average. 

While the increasing heat is all but certain, how institutions like MIT will be affected and how they respond continues to evolve. “We know what the science is showing, but how will this heat impact the ability of MIT to fulfill its mission and support its community?” asks Brian Goldberg, assistant director of the MIT Office of Sustainability. “What will be the real feel of these temperatures on campus?” These questions and more are guiding staff, researchers, faculty, and students working collaboratively to understand these impacts to MIT and inform decisions and action plans in response.

This work is part of developing MIT’s forthcoming Climate Resiliency and Adaptation Roadmap, which is called for in MIT’s climate action plan, and is co-led by Goldberg; Laura Tenny, senior campus planner; and William Colehower, senior advisor to the vice president for campus services and stewardship. This effort is also supported by researchers in the departments of Urban Studies and Planning, Architecture, and Electrical Engineering and Computer Science (EECS), in the Urban Risk Lab and the Senseable City Lab, as well as by staff in MIT Emergency Management and Housing and Residential Services. The roadmap — which builds upon years of resiliency planning and research at MIT — will include an assessment of current and future conditions on campus as well as strategies and proposed interventions to support MIT’s community and campus in the face of increasing climate impacts.

A key piece of the resiliency puzzle

When the City of Cambridge released their Climate Change Vulnerability Assessment in 2015, the report identified flooding and heat as primary resiliency risks to the city. In response, Institute staff worked together with the city to create a full picture of potential flood risks to both Cambridge and the campus, with the latter becoming the MIT Climate Resiliency Dashboard. The dashboard, published in the MIT Sustainability DataPool, has played an important role in campus planning and resiliency efforts since its debut in 2021, but heat has been a missing piece of the tool. This is largely because for heat, unlike flooding, few data exist relative to building-level impacts. The original assessment from Cambridge showed a model of temperature averages that could be expected in portions of the city, but understanding the measured heat impacts down to the building level is essential because impacts of heat can vary so greatly. “Heat also doesn’t conform to topography like flooding, making it harder to map it with localized specificity,” notes Tenny. “Microclimates, humidity levels, shade or sun aspect, and other factors contribute to heat risk.”

Collection efforts have been underway for the past three years to fill in this gap in baseline data. Members of the Climate and Resiliency Adaptation Roadmap team and partners have helped build and place heat sensors to record and analyze data. The current heat sensors, which are shoebox-shaped devices on tripods, can be found at multiple outdoor locations on campus during the summer, capturing and recording temperatures multiple times each hour. “Urban environmental phenomena are hyperlocal. While National Weather Service readouts at locations like Logan Airport are extremely valuable, this gives us a more high-resolution understanding of the urban microclimate on our campus,” notes Sanjana Paul, past technical associate with Senseable City and current graduate student in the Department of Urban Studies and Planning who helps oversee data collection and analysis.

After collection, temperature data are analyzed and mapped. The data will soon be published in the updated Climate Resiliency Dashboard and will help inform actions through the Climate Resiliency and Adaptation Roadmap, but in the meantime, the information has already provided some important insights. “There were some parts of campus that were much hotter than I expected,” explains Paul. “Some of the temperature readings across campus were regularly going over 100 degrees during heat waves. It’s a bit surprising to see three digits on a temperature reading in Cambridge.” Some strategies are also already being put into action, including planting more trees to support the urban campus forest and launching cooling locations around campus to open during days of extreme heat.

As data gathering enters its fourth summer, partners continue to expand. Senseable City first began capturing data in 2021 using sensors placed on MIT Recycling trucks, and the Urban Risk Lab has offered community-centered temperature data collection with the help of its director and associate professor of architecture, Miho Mazereeuw. More recently, students in course 6.900 (Engineering for Impact) worked to design heat sensors to aid in the data collection and grow the fleet of sensors on campus. Co-instructed by EECS senior lecturer Joe Steinmeyer and EECS professor Joel Voldman, students in the course were tasked with developing technology to solve challenges close at hand. “One of the goals of the class is to tackle real-world problems so students emerge with confidence as an engineer,” explains Voldman. “Having them work on a challenge that is outside their comfort zone and impacts them really helps to engage and inspire them.” 

Centering on people

While the temperature data offer one piece of the resiliency planning puzzle, knowing how these temperatures will affect community members is another. “When we look at impacts to our campus from heat, people are the focus,” explains Goldberg. “While stress on campus infrastructure is one factor we are evaluating, our primary focus is the vulnerability of people to extreme heat.” Impacts to community members can range from disrupted nights of sleep to heat-related illnesses.

As the team looked at the data and spoke with individuals across campus, it became clear that some community members might be more vulnerable than others to the impact of extreme heat days, including ground, janitorial, and maintenance crews who work outside; kitchen staff who work close to hot equipment; and student athletes exerting themselves on hot days. “We know that people on our campus are already experiencing these extreme heat days differently,” explains Susy Jones, senior sustainability project manager in the Office of Sustainability who focuses on environmental and climate justice. “We need to design strategies and augment existing interventions with equity in mind, ensuring everyone on campus can fulfill their role at MIT.”

To support those strategy decisions, the resiliency team is seeking additional input from the MIT community. One hoped-for outcome of the roadmap and dashboard is for community members to review them and offer their own insight and experiences of heat conditions on campus. “These plans need to work at the campus level and the individual,” says Goldberg. “The data tells an important story, but individuals help us complete the picture.”

A model for others

As the dashboard update nears completion and the broader resiliency and adaptation roadmap of strategies launches, their purpose is twofold: help MIT develop and inform plans and procedures for mitigating and addressing heat on campus, and serve as a model for other universities and communities grappling with the same challenges. “This approach is the center of how we operate at MIT,” explains Director of Sustainability Julie Newman. “We seek to identify solutions for our own campus in a manner that others can learn from and potentially adapt for their own resiliency and climate planning purposes. We’re also looking to align with efforts at the city and state level.” By publishing the roadmap broadly, universities and municipalities can apply lessons and processes to their own spaces.

When the updated Climate Resiliency Dashboard and Climate Resiliency and Adaptation Roadmap go live, it will mark the beginning of the next phase of work, rather than an end. “The dashboard is designed to present these impacts in a way everyone can understand so people across campus can respond and help us understand what is needed for them to continue to fulfill their role at MIT,” says Goldberg. Uncertainty plays a big role in resiliency planning, and the dashboard will reflect that. “This work is not something you ever say is done,” says Goldberg. “As information and data evolves, so does our work.” 

[tastydregs]

Rapidly forming El Niño to boost global warming, lead to widespread extreme events

Data: NOAA; Chart: Alice Feng/Axios

A double whammy of natural climate cycles and human-caused climate change will likely make next year Earth's warmest on record, climate experts tell Axios.

The big picture: Forecasters now expect that a moderate El Niño, the climate pattern characterized by warmer-than-usual sea surface temperatures, will develop this summer, bringing sweeping shifts to weather patterns worldwide.

El Niño teams up with human-caused climate change and pushes global average surface temperatures higher.

Even a relatively weak event could lead to new records for the warmest year in 2023 and 2024.

What's happening: Three straight years of La Niña, which features cooler-than-usual sea surface temperatures in the tropical Pacific, have given way to a rapid transition to an El Niño state.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) declared an El Niño watch last week, putting 62% odds of an event setting up during the May to July period.

The odds jump to about 85% later in the year, according to Michelle L'Heureux, a meteorologist who leads the El Niño-Southern Oscillation team at NOAA's Climate Prediction Center.

Threat level: The last global record occurred in 2016, which was also an El Niño year.

The planet has continued to warm since: The past eight years were the warmest such period on record. And in just the last few weeks, ocean temperatures reached unprecedented levels.

The ocean and atmosphere climate pattern also shifts weather across the globe, shutting down much-needed rains for tens of millions, while bringing deluges to other areas.

El Niño can lead to drier-than-average conditions in parts of eastern Australia, wet conditions in East Africa — plus a host of shifts across North America during the fall and winter.

Between the lines: Typically, computer models are less accurate in forecasting El Niño events during the spring, which is known as the "spring prediction barrier."

But L’Heureux told Axios via email that the "key precursors to El Niño development" are already evident in observations, which makes forecasters more confident.

"Specifically, we currently are seeing a large amount of subsurface oceanic heat building in the tropical Pacific," which will eventually bubble up to the surface, she explained.

In addition, east-to-west trade winds along parts of the equatorial tropical Pacific have slackened somewhat, which is a key ingredient for setting an El Niño into motion and maintaining it, L'Heureaux added.

By the numbers: Model projections have been leaning toward a moderate-to-strong El Niño by the fall and winter, notes Zeke Hausfather, climate research lead at web payments company Stripe.

He said these events can boost global temperatures by about 0.2°C (0.36°F), on top of the larger long-term, human-caused warming trend.

"While it's too early to know for sure, it is likely that 2024 will be the warmest year on record. Exactly how warm will depend on how long El Niño conditions persist," Hausfather said.

Hausfather echoed Adam Scaife, head of long range prediction for the U.K. Met Office. Both say the developing El Niño may cause global average surface temperatures to temporarily come very close to, or even briefly reach, the Paris Agreement's temperature guard rail of 1.5°C (2.7°F) above pre-industrial levels.

Yes, but: This would be a symbolic milestone, since the Paris Agreement targets refer to long-term averages, not one or two years.

"Perhaps the important thing is not whether it actually reaches 1.5 degrees next year," Scaife told Axios via email, "But that this will be the first time in history we are within reach of this level for [the] annual global [average] temperature."

The intrigue: One potentially positive aspect of an El Niño is that they tend to reduce, but not eliminate, Atlantic Ocean hurricane activity by increasing upper atmospheric winds, which can tear nascent storms apart.

What we're watching: If a spate of weather extremes and a new record warm year reverberate politically. The so-called super El Niño of 2015-2016 coincided with the negotiating and adoption of the Paris Agreement.

The upcoming U.N. climate summit in Dubai starting in November will test whether nations can commit to more aggressive near-term emissions reduction targets.

[andreafmn]

Running In Circles - Chapter 1

Word Count: 3,196

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, George Foyet, Multiple Unsubs and Victims

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others' story line.

Chapter: 1/?

Chapter Description: (Y/N) remebers her first day in the job and recounts all the cases and events that led to the downfall of George Foyet. 

A/N: I decided to say fuck the anxiety of posting and put up my Aaron fanfiction. It’s been gathering dust in my documents folder and I love writing too much to keep it to myself. I’m not sure how many chapters this will have but there’s already 8 chapters all finished up. Soon I’ll be posting ff of all the fanfictions I enjoy also! If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

Next->

Chapter 1

“Good morning, BAU!” I said as I walked through the doors of the elevator and entered the bullpen. I could still remember how it felt the first time I got here.

I walked out of the elevator and made my way to the first office on the left. I was to meet

SSA Aaron Hotchner for an interview to join the BAU. My hands were shaking, and my body was getting warmer by the second. But I remembered my father’s encouraging words. “You’re gonna do great, mia bella.”

Not only was I extremely young, but I also had a lot to live up to. Being the daughter of SSA David Stephen Rossi was no easy task. He was an amazing agent, mentor, and father. He always pushed me to be the best at everything I did. When I started high school, I decided to get a head start on my college studies and applied to dual enrollment. When I graduated I did so with a Bachelor’s in Computer Science. Then, I worked my way to a Master’s in Psychology and Social Work, and a Doctorate in Criminal Justice. At the same time, my father trained me as a profiler. All my life I knew I wanted to be in the FBI, just like him. I was always impressed at all he did and wanted to be just like my hero. The day I told him I had been recruited by the FBI and was set to work in the BAU he said it had been the greatest day of his life.

Now my shaking hand raised to softly knock on the door before me.

“Come in,” someone said from inside. The door softly creaked as I opened and was met by a tall man with dark hair and a shorter blonde woman. “Agent Rossi, welcome.”

“Thank you, it’s an honor to be here.” I smiled and shook Aaron Hotchner’s and Erin Strauss’ hands.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Agent Rossi,” Erin smiled. “Have to say, you have a very impressive curriculum and your disinvolvement in our past interviews and tests have been outstanding.”

I smiled and turned the bracelet on my wrist for comfort.

“I must concur with Chief Strauss,” said Hotch. “I believe you will be a great addition to the BAU team.”

After sharing a few pleasantries and being handed my badge and gun, I was following Hotch to the briefing room to meet the rest of the team. Formally, at least. I had heard everything about them when I spoke with my father. He left no detail out.

“Morning, everyone,” Hotchner started. “I called you all in early today so you could meet the newest addition to the team. This is Agent (y/n) Rossi.”

To the sound of my name most of the mouths in the room dropped.

“Rossi, as in David Rossi?” The slender, messy haired agent said. I could only assume that was Spencer Reid. As my father had described him, a curly mess dressed in vests.

I nodded.

“Rossi, you didn’t tell us you had such a beautiful daughter.” That would be Derek Morgan. The hottie Casanova with a silver tongue.

“I hadn’t?” My father questioned and smirked, knowing full well the answer.

“Well, he’s talked a lot about all of you,” I smiled.

“All good things I hope,” Emily smiled.

“Great things,” I returned the smile. “I could probably make out who is who by the things he’s told me.”

“Go ahead,” Aaron challenged.

“Alright,” I cleared my throat and started going around the table. “Curly hair, vests, analyzing everything I’ve done and said since I walked in… you’re Spencer Reid.”

He smiled brightly.

“Tall, dark, handsome, and a silver tongue. Plus, you checked me out as soon as the doors of the elevator opened… Derek Morgan.”

He smirked.

“Calm, cool, and collected. Quiet but present, inspecting my presence here… you’re Emily Prentiss.”

“She’s good,” Emily muttered to Morgan beside her. I continued.

“And last but not least, bright colors, fun accessories,” I said looking at Garcia. “Even though you’re smiling, you’re not sure about me yet because you don’t like change and are probably going to dig up everything you can on me as soon as you can… Penelope Garcia.”

She stiffened and Derek chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I get it. I do not like change that much either. And here,” I reached my hand into my bag to pull out a rather thick folder. “I’ll save you the work. Background check, complete internet history, social medias, and all the whatnots you would need to build a very extensive profile.”

“Oh, thank you,” she reached out her hand and grabbed the folder, smiling at the floor.

“And well, I already know Agent Hotchner and my father, so they don’t need much of an introduction.”

“No, but you do,” my father said joining my side. “Tell them a bit about yourself.”

“Well, I have a bachelor, two masters, and a doctorate degree: I’m 23, I’m Rossi’s daughter…” In the middle of my thought process dad cut in.

“She’s beautiful, she’s intelligent, and she’s the one I call when I’m stuck on a case.” I smiled.

“She also passed every test with flying colors,” Aaron added. “And her profiling skills are exceptional.”

“Thank you,” I blushed. “I think it runs in my blood.”

“Well, welcome to the team,” Aaron continued. “Let’s get to work.”

That was almost three years ago. A couple of days after, I met JJ who had visited with her newborn son Henry.

In very little time I had grown attached to this family. I was most of the time partnered with Spence and we developed an amazing bond. It did help that I loved playing chess and we could have highly erudite talks. Also, I very much enjoyed his over sharing of facts. But really, I was close to them all. On my spare time I was found watching movies with Derek and Penny, perusing book shops with Reid, having girl nights with JJ, Penny, and Emily, or sipping on top grade scotch while finishing paperwork with Hotch.

Spending time with Hotch was my favorite pastime of all.

I realized I had developed feelings for him the day he was captured by Foyet and left at the hospital. Receiving the call from Emily that she had found blood at his apartment literally knocked the air out of my lungs. Reid could tell that my reaction would not have been the same where it had been any of the other members. For some time, he had deduced my attraction to our unit chief. Once we had captured Patrick Meyers and Reid had been sent off to a hospital, we sped off to St. Sebastian Hospital. I could feel my heartbeat going faster and faster as I felt time slipping by. More than once I had asked Morgan to go faster and with sorry eyes, he told me he was going as fast as he could.

Seeing Hotch on a hospital bed, greatly hurt, broke me. I knew everyone on the team, just like Reid, had figured it out. I was the first one in when the doctor announced he was waking up. His eyes fluttered open as JJ, the last one to enter, made it in.

“Where am I?” He groggily asked.

“In the hospital,” dad answered.

My eyes could not leave his face, even as all I wanted was to imagine him in a different state. Derek told him how he made it to the hospital and Emily asked Hotch what had happened. Closing his eyes, Hotch explained step by step how everything had gone down. Upon more investigation, we quickly figured what Foyet had taken and, a page from his planner that held his ex-wife’s and son’s current address and a picture of them, respectively.

Once we had that information, the team knew exactly what to do. Emily and I volunteered to stay behind and update the team if anything changed. As soon as he went to sleep, we let out a locked breath. But the relief was short lived as his pulse started to get exceedingly fast.

“What happened?” The doctor asked.

“I don’t know,” I croakily muttered out. Emily put a hand on my back as I softly touched his arm.

“Agent Hotchner. Can you hear me?” The doctor called out. “Agent Hotchner?”

He finally opened his eyes and responded. “I’m okay.”  

The doctor asked us out of the room as she checked on him and Emily helped stabilize my walk as we made it out. I saw the doctor and a nurse check him as I picked the skin of the thumb of my right hand. Emily noticed and grabbed it, knowing well of my nervous ticks. The other being closing my fist hard enough to dig my nails in it.

“He’ll be okay,” she smiled. “You know he’s a fighter.”

I softly smiled at her, not knowing if she said it for me or for her to believe it too.

Once we knew Haley and Jack were safe the three of us let out a relieved sigh. Hotch squeezed the hand I had been holding as he slept, needing the reassurance of a trusted presence next to him. He asked Emily about the scene at his apartment, but she could not give him definite answers. In a moment of silence, she excused herself to go buy coffee and I took this chance to ask him what had been going through my head.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” I asked worry evident in my eyes.

Sighing, he responded. “I don’t know. After he stabbed me the first time, it all goes blank.”

He looked straight into my eyes and I could tell he knew more than he let on, but now was not the time to push him. He had been drained: physically, emotionally, and mentally. In that moment, Haley walked in and I let go of his hand to leave them to talk. From outside of the room, I could hear the heartbreaking moment and knowing he was in pain shattered my heart. That day had absolutely devastated us as a team, but it only made us more determined to find Foyet and end him.

But life and work went on. The whole month he was off, I spent most of my free time helping in his recovery and his healing, using the little training I had in wound treatment. The other part of my time I spent with Reid, who was also in recovery. A far less pressing injury, but an injury, nonetheless. And he was my best friend, so I could not completely abandon him.  

We were all worried about him coming back to the team with Foyet still out there, but dad reassured us he would only be more motivated. Yet the first case back, he was different. He was usually professional and understanding, now it seemed that no matter how well we worked, we would make a mistake. And when we finally tracked down the unsub and he made his way inside the house, no vest, and no gun, I knew there was something different in him. I tried to follow him inside, but dad stopped me.

“We have to trust him,” he told me. Even with those words we were all unsure of the outcome. My head was working 1,000 miles a minute coming up with different ways this could all end up in, and when I heard the gunshots, my mind only went to the darkest end. Quickly we stormed in the house and saw Hotch putting handcuffs on Darrin, and a very dead Jarvis on a recliner.  

My father spent most of his time with me reassuring me that Hotch was still the same man he had been a month before. And I spent most of my time with Hotch reassuring him that he was not alone.

At the end of most cases Emily, dad, and I sat with Hotch in his office to drink a cup of scotch and unwind after a stressful day. I stayed nights overtime often and was there on the night that Strauss had landed a surprise visit to his office. The next day he became hyper focused on Derek’s work, which later he revealed to me the reason why. The bureau was questioning his leadership and he meant to step down as unit chief at the end of that week. This ended with Derek becoming active unit chief whilst Hotch was being investigated.

The days that followed were quite strange. We were used to taking orders from Hotch and now taking orders from Morgan was completely different. But business went on as usual. We worked on cases just as hard and solved them just as efficiently. With one case always hanging on us like a dark cloud. George Foyet. With every case we finished we knew he was still out there, which meant that Hotch was still hurting and hunting.  

But the dreaded day had caught up to us. With the last case we had been on in Hampton we knew Foyet had found Hotch. He was taunting Hotch, dangling his life in front of him. Once he had sent us that calling card, we pressed harder on our investigation, pulling at whatever string we could find.

Thankfully, JJ pulled our medication string harder when she found out about the ability to substitute prescriptions with over-the-counter meds. We worked tirelessly and strongly to shorten the investigation part of this case. We needed to catch him, fast.

“Wait a minute, guys. Foyet likes things that have meaning to him,” I said looking at the map presented in front of us. I could see that Reid knew where I was going.

“The eye of providence, the addresses in blood he wrote on the bus that led back to him,” Spence added, and I nodded.

“Maybe he’s doing the same with his name,” I said as Reid wrote down George Foyet on the board.

“Like an anagram or something,” Emily chimed. Quickly, Reid got to work on the theory crossing out and circling letters. Adding ‘The Reaper’ onto the board and utilizing it, once Hotch had pointed out Foyet gave himself that name. He kept up this process until the name Peter Rhea came to existence.

Garcia tracked down the name and quickly found an address in Arlington. We had found him, but it was just too easy.

We were waiting outside of the apartment building for too long, waiting for something, anything. Once Morgan had given his orders, the plan was set in motion. Still, something in the back of my mind kept telling me it was too easy. We stormed the empty apartment and searched for anything that would help us find his actual location. His computer was quickly deleting files, but Garcia was better. Haley’s protection unit was in trouble.

As soon as it clicked, we were on our way to the stash house. Inside the house Marshal Sam Kassmeyer was hurt, losing blood quickly. With the little he was able to tell us we knew that Haley and Jack were in danger. Sam had not told Foyet anything, but George was smart, unfortunately. He had disguised himself as a Marshal and lied to Haley to get her where he needed her. Only him had communication with her. Everyone was on edge wanting nothing more than to find this man.

In the office we heard Hotch’s conversation with Foyet. He was working hard to buy some time for us to find him but knowing George he already had a plan set in motion. He had eyes on the pair, he was with them. I could only imagine what Hotch was going through.

“Alright, Foyet has to be in control,” Derek said, breaking me out of my thoughts. “He had Haley come to him.”

“Yeah, but where would he take her?” Spencer asked. We all started thinking and speculating. There was something in the call that told Hotch where to go. That was the key.

“Reid, what did he say, exactly?” I emphasized on the last word.

“Haley’s hair looks good dark. She’s lost some weight. It must be because of all the stress you caused her. Where’s the little man? Oh, there he is now. Do you think he likes Captain America because of you? That’s your wife on the other line. Hold, please. Hi. Open the gate and I’ll drive in.” Spencer recited in a monotone voice.

“Open the gate?” My father questioned.

“It would be someplace with the biggest emotional impact for Hotch,” I said looking down to organize my thoughts.

“And Haley has access to the gate,” Derek added, and it clicked.

“Their house,” I said. “Where they lived together.”

“Of course,” Emily said. “Foyet planned this all the way to the end. It’s everything to him.”

“He wants to take over Hotch’s house, to be in control, to prove his dominance,” I finished. We knew where he was going, and I was sure Hotch knew too and was already on his way.

On the way, Hotch got a call from Foyet’s phone. It was Hayley. I heard the emotion grabbing him by the throat. We could hear the whole conversation and my heart broke when he asked Hayley the magic words.

“Tell Jack that I need him working on the case,” Hotch breathed out. One drunken night he had told me about how he had found Jack inside a storage bench in his office after he had knocked on it. The smiling kid had told his father that he was working the case with Hotch. Hotch knew what was going to happen and so did I. This was the best chance Jack had at survival.

When Hotch told Jack to hug his mom and he said I love you, I let out a loud sob and Emily grabbed my hand tightly for support. But I was not the one that need the care. Hotch did. Haley’s words would forever be engraved in my head, and in the heads of our friends.

Three gunshots rang through the line right before it cut. Then I could not hold back the tears. I knew. I just knew.

Hotch was the first one on the scene and all I thought of was that he did not have a vest or any backup, so god knows what could have happened. For the second time in a matter of months all I could ask for was that Morgan drove faster.

At the house, Morgan was the first one in and the scene that unfolded in front of us was heartbreaking. Hotch was hitting Foyet over and over, and Derek had to hold him back. He was dead. I surveyed the scene and instinctively went to Hotch’s office, Hotch following close behind. Jack had to be there. I let Hotch walk past me and watched as relief overtook him when he lifted the lid.

“I work the case, daddy,” Jack said. Unbeknownst to everything that had happened. “Just like you said.”

“You did a great job buddy,” Hotch lifted his son out of the bench.

“What happened to you, daddy?”

“I’m okay. I want you to go outside with Ms. Jareau. Ok?” The child walked to JJ and she took him out in her arms.

And Hotch let go. He silently cried and I helped him make his way to where Haley laid. I stood by the door and turned away a police officer. Morgan stood up and squeezed my shoulder as he left the room behind the officer. I stayed outside of the doorframe, listening to the sobs of a strong man.

Next->

[turtlesandfrogs]

From Sept. 2022:

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A record-setting heat wave made life miserable in much of the West on Tuesday, with California stretching into its second week of excessive heat that taxed the state's power supply and threatened power shortages that could prompt blackouts while people were desperately trying to stay cool.

The California Independent System Operator, the entity that oversees the state's electrical grid, said there could be "rotating power outages" Tuesday evening when demand for power could reach an all-time high.

Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom urged residents to conserve, warning in a video message that "the risk for outages is real and it's immediate."

"This heat wave is on track to be both the hottest and the longest on record for the state and many parts of the West for the month of September," Newsom said. "Everyone has to do their part to help step up for just a few more days."

California's state capital of Sacramento tied a record Tuesday with its 41st day of temperatures reaching at least 100 degrees Fahrenheit (38 degrees Celsius). And there was a chance the city would break its all-time high temperature of 114 degrees Fahrenheit (46 degrees Celsius) set in 1925, according to the National Weather Service.

Sacramento native Debbie Chang was out walking in Capitol Park on Tuesday morning, pulling a wagon of Pop-Tarts and water to hand out to homeless people. She lives in an old house that relies on wall-mounted units that she says don't work so well. The temperature reached 91 degrees (33 C) in her house Monday night.

"The past few years in California, it's really rough," she said. "I really love this state. And growing up I never imagined I'd exactly want to live outside of California, unless maybe internationally. But this is very difficult."

In neighboring Nevada, Reno set a record of 102 degrees (39 C) on Monday while in Utah's Salt Lake City temperatures were about 20 degrees higher than normal, hitting 105 degrees (40.5 C) on Tuesday, the hottest September day recorded going back to 1874.

Scientists say climate change has made the West warmer and drier over the last three decades and will continue to make weather more extreme and wildfires more frequent and destructive. In the last five years, California has experienced the largest and most destructive fires in state history.

A wildfire that started Friday in the Northern California community of Weed killed two people and one that erupted Monday and spread rapidly in the Hemet area of Southern California also killed two people. Authorities said they were found in the same area and apparently died while trying to flee the flames.

Though the heat wave was likely to peak in most places on Tuesday, extremely high temperatures are expected to continue for several more days.

"It is a genuinely dangerous event from a human health perspective," said Daniel Swain, a climate scientist with the University of California, Los Angeles Institute for Environment and Sustainability

Sacramento County officials were using the air-conditioned lobbies of some of their public buildings as cooling centers for people with nowhere else to go and offering free transportation for people who could not get there. Officials even handed out motel vouchers to some homeless people through a program they normally reserve for the winter, according to county spokeswoman Janna Haynes.

"While a lot of people can stay home, a lot of people do not have a home to stay in," Haynes said.

In state office buildings, thermostats were being set at 85 degrees (29 C) at 5 p.m. to conserve electricity.

Sacramento native Ariana Clark said she couldn't remember it ever being this hot for this long before. She said she turned her air conditioner off in the afternoons to conserve energy and kept her 9-month old son, Benito, cool by filling up a bucket for him to play in outside.

"As long as he's keeping cool that's all that matters," Clark said.

Juliana Hinch, who moved to Sacramento from San Diego 2 1/2 years ago said she has never seen heat like this before. She said some wetlands by her house have mostly dried up, so she leaves water in her front yard "for other random animals," including cats, squirrels and coyotes.

Hinch said she once lived in Washington state but moved away because it was too cold. Now, she said "that sounds like a good problem to have."

California and the West broil in record-setting heat wave https://www.npr.org/2022/09/06/1121403326/california-and-the-west-broil-in-record-setting-heat-wave

Copyright 2022 The Associated Press. To see more, visit The Associated Press.

[cherrybracelets]

I’ll Take You On

bucky barnes x f. reader

18+ / drinking mentions, heavy smut (unprotected s*x, oral s*x (m receiving) )

inspired by: ill take you on by brockhampton 

For your whole childhood, as long as you could remember, you wanted to be a veterinarian. You had loved animals, and couldn’t imagine a better way to spend your days than caring for them. But, as you grew up and the harsh realities of adulthood and capitalism dawned upon you, your dream was becoming less likely. 

Vet school was way over you and your mom’s budget. It was just the two of you, and she wasn’t exactly bringing in buckets of cash at her teaching job. So, you had to get a bit more realistic. 

After graduation college with a business degree, you set forth into the world hoping for a lifetime of amazing opportunities. But, a job didn’t come as easy as you’d hoped, and you were getting desperate. So desperate, in fact, that you called your estranged father begging for a job. 

Your father left your mom when you were nine. You didn’t care much, as he wasn’t around a lot anyways. He was some big shot lawyer in Miami, and he was always traveling for work. It was honestly easier on you and your mom once he left. He didn’t make much an effort to connect with you after that, only calling every few months and sending wads of cash on Holidays, hoping to make up for his absence. 

So, as you pushed aside your pride to call and ask for his help, it was really the least he could do. And lucky for you, his firm’s office manager had just quit. It didn’t sound like an incredibly difficult job and the pay was beyond what you wanted. Your father was most likely overcompensating with the salary. But he could afford it. 

He also promised you a place to live, rent free. He owned multiple properties around the city, most of which he never used. It was kind of the perfect situation. A little suspiciously perfect. 

But there were no other options. You needed a job and he desperately needed to feel like he wasn’t the worst father in the world. It was a win-win for both of you. 

And obviously, Miami wasn’t the worst place you could be. You didn’t know anyone besides your father, but you didn’t care. The idea of relaxing on a beach alone soothed you way more than a group of screaming drunk girls. 

After a week of settling into your apartment and the city, it was finally time to start your new job. You had met up with your father multiple times already, getting prepared for the job and visiting a few of his favorite spots around the city. He was actually really kind, but it was slightly uncomfortable talking to him.

You walked into his office on your first day, shaking in nerves as you prepared to meet your new coworkers. Would they treat you kindly, or did they catch up on the obvious nepotism that was lingering through this entire situation? 

But your fears were quickly buried over as his staff welcomed you with open arms, talking highly of you and about how “proud” your father was to have you working here. You rolled your eyes at his obvious attempt to show a warmer side to his staff, but you let it slide. You had a job and place to live because of him, so it was the least you could do. 

You spent the morning learning the phone and computer system, battling intrusive questions from everyone in the office and trying to learn how to work the damn coffee machine. But all in all, it wasn’t a bad job. 

You never really knew what kind of law your father practiced, and maybe that was something you should’ve asked before, so you were a little less shocked. His clients were mega rich and famous. And your father was just mega rich. It kind of pissed you off, seeing how well he lived and how you and your mom never saw a penny of it. Part of you wanted to scream at him, break all the expensive glasses in his office and storm out. But what was the point? Caring about him was more energy than it was worth. 

Your father met with his clients throughout the day, and part of your job was welcoming them to the office, getting them something to drink, and telling your father when they arrive. And today, at 2:12 PM, twelve minutes late for his appointment, he walked in. 

“James Barnes. I’m here to see Henry,” he commanded, not bothering to look up from his cell phone and pay you an ounce of attention. 

“Of course. Can I get you anything to drink?” You asked kindly, trying to keep your voice from quivering. He stood towering over you, his large frame blocking the light above, casting a shadow over your desk. He was one of the most beautiful and intimidating people you’d ever seen. You felt like you were going to choke if he looked directly at you. 

But he didn’t. He walked cooly over to the sofa in the waiting area and sat down, mumbling “Scotch…”. 

You stood up and walked away quickly, desperately trying to catch your breath. You slipped quietly into your father's office, smiling as you closed the door behind you. 

“James Barnes is here. And he mentioned something about scotch, which I’m not sure if I’m authorized to give…” 

Your father chuckled and stood up, walking over to a small bar cart in his office and pouring two drinks. 

“Everyone calls him Bucky. He’s a good friend. Come on, i’ll introduce you.” 

You followed behind your father in a daze, not ready to face him, not ready for his eyes to meet yours. Your skin felt hot and the room was spinning as your head, his loud voice greeting your father in excitement. 

“Bucky! It’s been too long!” Your father yelled, handing him a drink and smiling sheepishly. 

“Yeah, I had to be in New York a bit longer than I thought,” he trailed off, taking a sip of his drink. You were hiding behind your father, hoping he would forget about you and you could sneak away without a word. But of course you wouldn’t get away that easily. 

“Bucky, I have to introduce you to my daughter. Today is her first day working here! (Y/N), come introduce yourself,” he instructed, turning towards you and ushering you in closer to Bucky. 

“(Y/N)...” he whispered, the sound of your name in his mouth making your whole body light up. You had never heard it sound so beautiful before. He reached his hand out towards you, and you grabbed it lightly. His hands were soft and cold, shocking your skin as he touched you. As you shook hands, he leaned towards you, the smell of mint and tobacco pouring from his skin. 

“Why don’t we head to your office, Henry,” he frowned, dropping your hand and turning towards your father. You brought your hand back to your side, confused and dizzy as you found your seat. 

“Can… can I get you anything, Henry?” You stuttered, realizing awkwardly that this was the first time you’d addressed him, and you didn’t say dad. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you, and you cleared your throat awkwardly. 

“Sorry, thought that would be more professional. Totally awkward, right?” You laughed, trying to ease the tension. You didn’t think your father would care if you called him Henry, but maybe he wanted you to play into the sweet daughter character at work. 

“No, sweetheart, this is actually a private meeting. I don’t want any interruptions, unless someone’s dead. Okay?” He said in a serious tone, pushing aside any awkwardness. He hadn’t said this with any other clients he’s seen today, so it gave you an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach. 

You turned towards Bucky, looking for some sign of a joke with him. But his face was carved of stone, his eyes locked on your father as if he expected Henry’s devout secrecy for any conversation they had. 

The two walked quietly into his office and shut the door, leaving the image of him to only exist in your mind. You were curious who exactly this beautiful  mystery was, so you did what you always did. Googled him. 

You searched for a while, under both of the names he went by. But nothing. You couldn’t find him anywhere. Nothing on Facebook, Linkedin was empty, Twitter and Instagram were farfetched. It was like he didn’t exist. You even unblocked your father on facebook to stalk his friends and see if he existed there, but nothing. He was a ghost. 

You got frustrated after a while, sitting back angrily in your chair, realizing you had three voicemails. Yikes, you were not very good at this job. 

You finished all your work quickly, hoping it would distract you from him.

 They spent the next two hours locked away in your fathers office, leaving you to wilt away in boredom. It only took about 30 minutes to catch up on calls and emails, and then all you could do was scroll aimlessly on your phone hoping someone would bother you. 

But everyone seemed very quiet here. Beyond the initial excitement of meeting you in the morning, everyone stayed at their desks all day, focused intently on their own work. It was one of the quietest offices you’d ever been in. Maybe they were just trying to show off on your first day, or trying not to bother you… but it was odd. 

At 4:15, your father loudly exited his office, Bucky following behind. He was smiling, something you hadn’t seen before. It was almost god-like, his perfect smile, radiating warmth and happiness. You wanted to be close to him again, missing the sweet smell of his lips…

“(Y/N), I have a request…” your father interrupted your daydreaming, making you jump as you stood up to help him. 

“What’s up?” You asked casually, refusing to take your eyes off Bucky. 

“Bucky and I are grabbing dinner tonight, and we’d love for you to join us,” he said quickly, Bucky finally turning towards you and meeting your glance. 

“You… want me to come?” You asked quietly, Bucky still staring at you. He smirked slightly as you spoke, but refused to break your gaze. 

“Well, Bucky would really love to get to know my daughter. You know how… proud I am of you. The light of my life!” He said, smiling intensely at you. You finally looked away from Bucky and towards your father as he spoke. 

It was disgusting, the way your father was obviously using a fake relationship with you to get in good with his clients and employees. But you would’ve done anything to see Bucky again. So you agreed reluctantly, wondering why a man like Bucky would care about his lawyer's daughter… 

“We’re going to a nice place so… dress up,” your father instructed, eyeing your clothes. You had noticed you were the least dressed up at the office. 

“Um… I don’t really have a nice dress…” you whispered quietly, wondering how “nice” you needed to dress…

Your father pulled out his wallet, handing you a thick black AmEx card. 

“I’ll have my driver take you downtown to some shops. Get whatever you want,” he instructed, pushing the card in your hand. 

You didn’t refuse, why would you? Free shopping spree and dinner with some hot mystery man sounded like your perfect day. 

You spent the next few hours in and out of shops, spending more money than your father most likely anticipated. But you needed a new wardrobe anyways, most of your old clothes were too warm to wear here. 

You picked out a gorgeous light blue silk dress and some strappy white heels to match. You were maybe a little ‘under’ dressed for dinner with your father, but all you could focus on was Bucky. You felt high whenever he crossed your mind, your body unable to focus on anything except the feel of his cool skin touching yours.

By the time you were done shopping, it was almost time to meet them at dinner. The driver promised to bring the rest of your bags home and drop you right off at the restaurant. It was all the way across town, and you’d most likely still be late even if you left now. So you hopped in the car quickly, your new outfit looking perfect. 

The drive to the restaurant took just as long as the driver said it would- maybe even longer. You were getting impatient as the time went by, wondering if he was thinking about you the way you were thinking of him. 

It was unlikely. You still weren’t sure who exactly he was, but you knew he didn’t spend his time with ordinary girls. 

But why did he want you to come to dinner? It was odd of him to take such an interest in you. None of your fathers other clients seemed to look twice in your direction. But then again, Bucky was the only one that required privacy. 

As you got lost in your thoughts, your mind tumbling through expectations and excitement, your driver pulled swiftly up to the front entrance of Paterro’s. 

Upon walking through the doors, you were taken aback by the overwhelming fanciness of this restaurant. Your father definitely undersold how nice it was. You felt slightly underdressed, but no one seemed to look twice at you. You were used to not turning heads, being able to walk through a crowd without notice. 

That changed when you got to your table. Your father wasn’t there, most likely in the bathroom or at the bar. It was just him, looking just as beautiful as you pictured he would. 

He wore a navy blue suit that hugged his skin tightly and left very little of his body up for imagination. As you walked towards him, his head lifted from the table and his eyes lingered towards your body. He gave you a soft smile, but he was obviously distracted by how much of you he was seeing. 

“Your… Henry ran to grab a few cigars for later…” he mumbled, standing up awkwardly and pulling out a chair for you. 

“Thank you…” you whispered, sitting shakily down in the chair as he pushed you in towards the table. 

You were in between Bucky and your father’s seat, but much closer to Bucky. Your father came back less than 30 seconds later, which was ideal, since you couldn’t think of a single word to say to Bucky. 

Your father greeted you kindly, a wide smile that read as ‘You better be good tonight.’ It clearly wasn’t normal for him to have guests attend his business dinners. He seemed just as put off as you did, but the two of you kept your thoughts to yourselves and made small talk. 

“This is one of my favorite restaurants, (Y/N),” your father smiled, handing you a menu to you. 

“I’m excited to be here. Thank you for having me,” you responded kindly. 

Bucky and your father started talking about business, leaving you to your own thoughts as you scoured the menu. The prices were insane, but obviously you weren’t footing the bill. You had half a mind to order the most expensive thing on the menu, for the hell of it, but you settled on a nice glass of red wine and pasta. 

You weren’t included in much of the conversation, wondering why exactly you were invited in the first place. It seemed that the two of them barely even knew you were there. You sipped at your wine angrily, wondering how you could get Bucky’s attention. 

It was then when you decided to make one of the riskiest decisions of your entire life. But, high risk, high reward, right? 

Bucky cracked a joke with your father, and you laughed loudly and girlishly, forcing him to draw his eyes towards you. You then gently placed your hand on his knee, dragging your fingertips on his thigh lightly as you smiled at him. For a second, you forgot your father was even there, lost in the delight of finally having your hands on Bucky. 

But you quickly drew your hand back, afraid of how far you’d go if you didn’t stop. Luckily your father didn’t seem to notice, or care. But Bucky did. 

In fact, he was glaring at you. His fists were clenched on the table, his breath shaky and his stared. His face started to relax and he looked away, a slight smirk on his face as he grabbed his drink and gulped it. 

“I have to run and make a quick phone call,” Bucky said abruptly, not waiting for a response before leaving the table. 

You turned awkwardly to your father, not sure what to say to him at this moment. Thankful for you, he clearly felt the same, and buried himself in his phone. That was the nice thing about your father, he never forced you to talk. 

Bucky was back quicker than you’d expected, looking relieved as he sat down. 

“Sorry about that,” he smiled, clearing his throat. “Where were we?” 

The three of you started chatting again, a feat that only lasted about five minutes, before another interruption. Your father’s phone started ringing loudly, much to your embarrassment. 

“One sec,” he whispered, jumping out of his chair and answering in a rush. 

Your heart dropped as you realized you were alone with him for the first time. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him after you nearly groped him under the table. You felt a lump in your throat as you stared intently at your fathers empty chair. 

“Do you wanna talk about what the hell you’re doing?” Bucky growled at you, making you finally turn your head and face him head on. 

“I don’t know what you mean…” you whispered innocently. 

“Oh, shut the hell up. I’m not gonna fall for your sweet girl act. Your father might, but I see right through it…” He snickered, taking a large sip from his third drink of the evening. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you, James.” You could see him cringe at the sound of that name. You couldn’t help but to get under his skin. Something about him so angry made it hotter. 

“Listen, if you wanna fuck me, just say it. I’m not here for all these little games.” 

“You truly think every girl in the entire universe wants to have sex with you? Seems like somebody has a little ego problem,” you retorted, rolling your eyes and looking away. 

“Oh, baby,” he laughed, touching your cheek lightly with his thumb. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t get under this table and suck my cock if you could?” 

The thought of your mouth around him made you quiver, which was very evident to Bucky. He laughed coyly, before tightly gripping your chin. He brushed his thumb lightly over your lips, your body aching at his touch. 

He dropped his hand quickly as your father approached the table, looking distraught. 

“I’m so sorry guys... My client just called, major emergency. I’m gonna have to run… Bucky, can you make sure (Y/N) get’s home safe? I’m gonna have to take my car…” 

Bucky chuckled quietly and nodded at your father, enjoying the obvious win. 

“I’ll take good care of her, man.”

Your father thanked Bucky, throwing his credit card to you for dinner and running off in a hurry. You felt sick to your stomach, all the red wine dancing around in your body. You felt Bucky’s hand on your thigh, rubbing circles on your skin. 

“You ready to go?” He winked, tilting his head for an answer. You could only nod, unable to think of any words to say. 

Bucky tossed three one-hundred dollar bills down on the table, taking them from a large wad of cash hidden in his jacket. You felt dizzy at the sight of all the money, wondering where it could possibly be coming from. 

The valet pulled Bucky’s car around, which was obviously something beautiful and fancy and nauseatingly expensive. He opened the passenger door for you, helping you up into the seat. He leaned towards you after you were sitting, pulling your face to his. He kissed you intensely, not giving you a second to think, or breathe. You melted into him, allowing his body to do whatever he wanted. 

But he quickly broke away, closing the door and getting in the driver seat. He didn’t speak to you the rest of the ride, just casually glancing in your direction every few minutes. You wondered if you should tell him where you lived, or if he already knew. But you quickly realized you weren’t going home.

You pulled up to a large white house on the beach. The gates opened promptly as you arrived. They closed quickly behind you, making you finally realize the intensity of the situation. You were here now, locked inside, with a complete stranger. A very, very hot stranger. 

Bucky opened the door for you, clearly picking up your awe at the size of the house. 

“I’m just renting it. I don’t usually stay in one place too long…” he explained, a hint of sadness in his voice. 

“What exactly do you do?” You asked, instantly regretting it as you noticed the distaste in his voice. 

“You don’t need to know that, yet,” he snapped, emphasizing the word ‘yet’. What the hell did that mean? 

He ushered you through the front door, offering you a glass of wine as you entered. You accepted happily, staring at his wide wine collection that was much nicer than the box sitting in your fridge. 

You sat down on his couch, sinking into the soft cushions, realizing just then how tipsy you were. As he walked back towards you with your drinks, you felt a wave of excitement and spontaneity wash over you. Fuck wine, man. The worst and horniest decisions you ever made were because of wine. 

Bucky set your drinks done and you didn’t waste any time. You jumped up towards him, pushing your lips onto his and dragging your hands down his body. He didn’t fight you, unbuckling his pants quickly. He began kissing your neck, pulling down the straps of your dress. You hadn’t worn a bra, giving his lips easy access to your breasts. He sucked your nipples lightly, grazing his teeth. 

You pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a perfectly sculpted body that at this point, you had expected. You brought your hand down to his dick, already hard and poking out through his boxers. You pushed him off of you as you got down to your knees, removing his boxers and taking his length into your mouth. 

You flicked your tongue across his tip, making him shake under you. He grabbed the back of your head and pushed himself deeper into you, hitting the back of your throat. He moved in and out of your mouth, his hand holding your hair out of the way. 

Finally he pulled out of your mouth, beckoning you to stand up. You did as you were told, getting off your knees and following him to the catch. He sat down and dragged you onto his lap, feeling his cock under you. He kissed you for a while, but you never got bored. You could’ve kissed him forever. 

But you felt him twitching beneath you, begging to be inside. You positioned him to your opening and slid down gently, adjusting to his size. He moaned slightly, throwing his head back as he went in. 

“Don’t move for a second…” he commanded, sitting up and taking your face. He was inside of you, not moving, just holding you. 

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” he whispered, the scotch spilling from his breath. He didn’t give you time to respond before he grabbed your hips and began to rock you on him.

You let him move you for a few minutes before you started moving yourself. You felt the overwhelming rush of pleasure take over as you got close to cumming, speeding up your motions. 

“Shit…” you squealed, riding out your high as he kissed your neck. 

“Keep going… I wanna cum inside you…” He whispered into your ear, his lips tickling your jaw. 

You kept grinding your hips, moving faster as he got closer. He gripped onto your hips, digging his nails into your skin as you felt him twitch. You felt him fill you up with warmth, claiming you as his in that moment. The ultimate trophy of male dominance. 

You felt sick to your stomach after you got off, feeling him drip down your thighs as you rolled to the other side of the couch. The fun of the wine had worn off into an annoying headache, and you were dreadfully thirsty.

For some reason, you wondered if you had dreamed the whole thing, before you looked over and saw a naked Bucky, staring blissfully at you. 

“Can I get you anything?” He asked, kindly. 

“Water.” 

He smiled graciously, standing up and putting his boxers on. He walked down a hallway, presumably to the kitchen, and your fight or flight kicked in. You quickly grabbed your shoes and bag, bolting out the front door, unable to face him. 

You were greeted by the fresh air, happy to be back in the realm of normalcy. And then you remembered. The gate. 

“Fuck…” you exclaimed, dropping your shoes on the pavement. 

“I’ll take you home.” You heard, seeing an uncomfortable Bucky standing in the doorway. 

You got back in his car, staying uncomfortably silent as he started the engine and opened the gate. 

“Do you regret it?” He asked. His voice snapped through the quiet like a whip. It made you jump. 

“No. I don’t.” You answered. It was the truth. 

“Good. We’ll talk soon, then.” 

He dropped you off without another word, and you realized you never actually gave him your address. 

Who the hell was James Barnes? 

[fatehbaz]

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Hundreds of bats have been rescued by Austin Bat Refuge this week after a record-setting winter freeze earlier this month left some of the critters trapped in ice, injured, cold-stunned or dead.

Lee Mackenzie and Dianne Odegard, [...] who run Austin Bat Refuge, have picked up as many as roughly 600 bats, dead and alive, every day since Monday [22 February 2021] from multiple Central Texas bridges. "It's just horrific," Mackenzie said. Mackenzie and Odegard are working to rehydrate surviving bats and feed them before releasing them back to their roosts under the bridges. [...] Even before a half-foot of snow blanketed the Austin area, callers to the refuge were reporting bats stuck in ice at their homes. The refuge, which never lost power during the freeze, received calls every day about found bats. [...] Once snow and ice began to melt, bats were brought to the refuge in boxes and bags and Odegard and Mackenzie started to check bridges for the animals.

The pair said a lot of the bats are traumatized and stressed. "You can just see the look in their eyes and see they're shocked by this like many of us were," Mackenzie said. [...]

Although many bats in Texas migrate south to Mexico and Central America during the winter months, as many as 100,000 bats can linger year-round in the Austin area. Roosts under the Ann W. Richards Congress Avenue Bridge have helped keep bats warm when temperatures start to drop. The spaces are 16 inches deep and 1 inch wide and can retain heat for the bats.

In the past three to five years, the Mexican free-tailed bats in the world’s largest urban bat colony next to the American-Statesman building also have been extending their stay in town because Austin’s average temperatures have gotten warmer or because the animals are sick, said Sarah Whitson, a former wildlife officer for Austin Animal Protection.

Cold weather works as a trigger to leave for bats, who like temperatures in the 70s, 80s and 90s, Whitson told the Statesman in 2019. [...] February temperatures in Austin this year [2021] hit a high of 85 degrees — less than 10 days before the record freeze, according to the National Weather Service — and Wednesday’s [24 February 2021] high was 86. [...]

Bat fatalities are also being reported across the state. Texas Parks and Wildlife Department officials have received reports of bats being found dead under bridges. The department is tracking bat deaths and the deaths of other animals due to the freeze online.

A bat colony under a bridge at Waugh Drive in Buffalo Bayou Park in Houston was hit by the freeze, and about 2,000 Mexican free-tailed bats who live under the Houston bridge were killed by the freezing temperatures, the Houston Chronicle reported.

Mackenzie and Odegard have only picked up a handful of bats each day from around Ann W. Richards Congress Avenue Bridge. It's possible that some of the 1.5 million Mexican free-tailed bats who live under bridge may have fallen into the lake. Mackenzie said that during daily checks, he has yelled out to kayakers on the water if they saw bats swimming or on pilings. Other bats living under a bridge on Dittmar Road may have been washed away when ice started to melt, Mackenzie said. [...]

Mackenzie and Odegard said they've released 400 or 500 bats over the last few days to roosts under Interstate 35 at Wells Branch Parkway and Howard Lane.

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Headline and text published by: Kelsey Bradshaw. “’It’s just horrific’: Hundreds of bats found dead, injured near roosts after Texas freeze.” Austin American-Statesman. 26 February 2021. Images and captions published by: Jay Janner “Austin refuge keeps Mexican free-tailed bats warm after Texas freeze.” Austin American-Statesman. 26 February 2021.