#if that way is truly more effective and will therefor stay very tempting

[kiragecko]

My eldest is autistic and was utterly unable to predict other people's motivations enough to do this. They were also horribly offended by injustice, and would 'admit' to any negative behaviour that they even considered doing. So, when their younger brother came along, I was able to contrast their behaviours pretty clearly!

Tiny learned to smile and tilt his head to try to charm people before 6 months old. He'd do 'cute' things before asking me for things, when 'asking' still involved pulling me somewhere, or handing me something, rather than speaking. He would try to come in all polite and sweet after Nq had gotten lectures for being rude, to try to get the exact same thing his brother had been denied.

Tiny was a delightful kid. He wasn't being bad. He was learning how to affect the world. It was my responsibility to show him which methods were appropriate.

Using his brother to make himself look good was inappropriate. Asking if I wanted tea, and offering to turn it on, WAS appropriate, if a bit obvious. Lying was inappropriate. Being extra cute was appropriate and VERY effective, but I still gently taught him new bargaining strategies, so he wouldn't need to rely on his cuteness forever. (Though, that kid is still PRETTY DARN CUTE!).

-

Meanwhile, no one at school has EVER accused Tiny of manipulation. But Nq's grade 1/2 teacher insisted they were lying to and manipulating her.

Because the people who can recognize actual manipulation from a child are usually the ones who understand it's a natural thing for kids to try out and can respond to it properly.

The ones talking about "how manipulative" kids are ... are usually projecting pretty badly.

-

(in summary, OP was doing a very good job at being 3 and I am proud of them!)

I absolutely think adults, especially parents, ascribe manipulative intent to children when they shouldn't and it's absolutely a problem but it's always kind of funny to me when people go online and proclaim that children are incapable of manipulation. When I was three I asked my mom to get my older sibling their favorite candy bar at the grocery story because I knew she'd get me mine too as a reward for being thoughtful and that was way more likely to succeed than if I just asked for a candy bar for me. And it worked. Children scheme at a developmentally appropriate level the trick is not assuming children scheme at an adult level.

[findmeinthefallair]

Brief Meta on Memories and Traumatic Grief

Memories change over time and don't stay exactly the same. Each one is fluid, tied to a web of ever-changing associations we draw between them and other thoughts, and we actually make small edits each time we revisit them, like small tweaks in a word doc file that we may hardly notice.

But we are undoubtedly rewriting them over time, changing the narrative even if not by much, forming new associations big and small with them by weaving other thoughts/feelings/beliefs/perspectives/memories with them, no matter how consciously or subconsciously we do so. It's like playing the telephone game with ourselves without being able to stop it.

The fascinating thing about this is it opens up room for trauma treatment approaches such as Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing (EMDR), narrative therapy, journaling, memory rescripting etc to be effective, since memories are therefore subjective. Memories are always malleable, though at the same time they have foundational roots.

Which brings me to the above. I believe it was tremendously important that others were physically present and right next to him in the moments right after Flapjack faded away. Trusted loved ones who felt the same kind of emotions as he was, to collectively grieve as a group (hell, there hasn't even been time for them to properly mourn without rushing the process. Not yet). This would've influenced the forming of Hunter's traumatic memories related in any way to Flapjack dying.

Instances like below - him being held tightly and soothed while being in an unmatched level of pain - must have shaped the newly forming memories in a major way:

Oddly enough, this scenario in which a death has just occurred has some similarities with its opposite: birth 🤔🤔🤔🤔 The minutes and hours after any childbirth are a very sensitive window for foundations of a sense of safety, emotional regulation and even physiological processes to be built. That's why newborn infants should have pretty much constant physical touch with caregivers via e.g. skin-to-skin contact for healthy bonding to take place. *tempted to philosophize more about birth vs death but I'm holding back from being unnecessarily lengthy*

Back to Hunter's major traumatic loss above. I'm referencing it because it's not long till we'll see him witness Belos be imprisoned, dying or however way in which he will be defeated. How could this impact on all the Belos-related memories and Flapjack-related memories he will keep recalling for the rest of his life?

I think he will require the exact same type of support once that milestone of his life - truly losing Belos - arrives. This but on a way bigger scale:

Why? Because there's no way this part of him has totally disappeared, even now:

There are formative memories do to with Belos which can't be whisked away with a Delete button. There are a number of factors influencing how he's going to absorb the seconds/minutes of that upcoming loss in Watching and Dreaming. The hours afterward will matter so much too. Will he witness that loss with his own eyes or e.g. might Camila pull him close into an embrace and tell him not to look? Will he have an active role in making the moment of Belos's defeat happen, or might he watch passively from a distance? Will Belos say anything to him while it happens, or not? If yes, what are the words Hunter will hear? What thoughts and feelings will he have about himself, and what memories will fill his mind while it happens? Who else is there with him during and right after it happens, and what do they tell him? All these will add up to form his experience of that loss (which is made more complicated because it is also a major gain/win for him). There is no way through this where he escapes further loss (which coexists in a messy way with gain), since trauma be like that.

Examples of other important moments in other media that portray what I'm trying to explain include this part of Avatar: The Last Airbender..

where Katara is by Zuko's side as he watches Azula, his sister, have a nervous breakdown. The physical touch from Katara matters. The memory of this event is forming in Zuko's mind and being shaped in real-time. and will continue to be shaped over time.

Another one I remembered is this moment of Silver shielding Jim in Treasure Planet (the supernova scene) when Jim's skills as a crew member (which he bet all of his self-worth on) were truly being tested:

This proved to be vital "cushioning" for what happens right afterwards: Jim, already stricken with a fragile sense of identity and no self-love, being blamed for the death of a crew member.

The last example is from How to Train Your Dragon 2. Hiccup not being on his own during his father's death and funeral:

A negative, dark example is Jinx losing Silco in Arcane:

Nobody to soothe and hold her (because she rejected Vi's help due to lack of trust), and she had been the one to end his life.

Whether a parental figure we lose has been kind or cruel to us, grief is unavoidable when they are gone. Hunter's is on a exaggerated level in fiction since Belos technically murdered him via the possession and he had to be brought back to life via external means (Flapjack's sacrifice).

I was especially compelled to write this meta after a fresh realization that being physically alone and hidden in the crucial minutes and hours after a few life-altering incidents in past decades, significantly prolonged my recovery time from such awful traumatic memories. But I'm very glad Hunter should be in excellent hands having to say that complicated goodbye (which realistically, will not be a one-time send-off) to his 'uncle', which he most definitely won't be responding to with a triumphant Hollywood kind of smile on his face.

SOMEBODY HAS TO TAKE CARE OF THIS BBY AND PUT A BLANKET OVER HIM

[usermaha]

Txt Comeback Thoughts (bc the Concept Trailer and the MMAs stage have me too hyped)

this is giving CINEMA. The classical music at the first part and the dance style is giving very classical, or graceful concept. 

The yellow sunset pastel shades are so pretty.

i am LIVING for the continuation of the TDC: Magic Concept Trailer. She was truly a work of art. And this time they have made the effect more crisp mwah chef’s kiss

Really really excited that the story from The Dream Chapter is being continued (technically The Chaos Chapter had it too but only a little bit with Frost MV) bc the music from that era was really... inspired i suppose and the thematic storyline between the songs was delightful too. 

The tone is eerie and unsettling. Not dark in a Chaos Chapter or even Minisode 2: Thursday’s Child,but in a way that’s more in line with TDC:Eternity (one of my favorite eras/albums so i win)

The narration is from Peter Pan where Peter is teaching Wendy and her brothers to fly. Txt is travelling back to the Magic Island. That’s a good thing, right? But something feels wrong here. We know that its the Cat with the Two-Colored Eyes that’s luring them into it, and he is not to be trusted. (Talking about the Cat always reminds me of Ree @thy-lovelylionheart, she had such excellent points on the Cat’s character and how it evolved). 

I find it very interesting that Yeonjun is the first one taken to the dark side, then the rest follow him. He was also the One With the Horns, so maybe The Cat had chosen him as his first target ever since then. Yeonjun is Wendy, and The Cat is Peter. 

But this Peter has sinister intentions. And even in the original story the lesson is that childhood can’t go on forever. Wendy and the gang have to return home.   

My theory is: The Dream Chapter took place from debut, when txt was young. Through time and through their recent concepts, that txt has grown up. Harrowed by their experiences of love and heartbreak, they are being tempted back to that adolescence again, in the name of closure (bc that Chapter ended with Eternity; with a catastrophic end). To find that comfort. But they shouldn’t go back.

The Cat is selling them the lie of an Eternal Youth. “Leave tomorrow behind.” “Forever will never end.” But that cannot be. 

Txt’s music has always referred to desperately trying to hold on to the bliss of youth forever, which later fell through as expected. Now they are trying to claw back to that perfect past but it will lead them to their doom.

In The Dream Chapter they are afraid they might become the monster; they can’t choose between the angel and the devil. Through the temptation of a way back to the past, the devil has finally succeeded in orchestrating txt’s fall from grace. 

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION is therefore fantastic

“Name” is also a very meaningful word in txt’s lore and lyricism, comes up countless times. Most notably “remember my name” from the end of Magic Island MV. 

My theory (or i might have read this somewhere i forgot) is this is referring to the name of the Star (the central star with gears in Magic Island that appears in Nap of a Star MV). The Star is also the spirit of a girl/lady and her name is some sort of sacred spell. The boys learnt it, it was a secret entrusted to them but they forgot it once they returned to reality. 

Now does saying the name summon them back to Magic Island? Is this Spirit a benevolent being? Will she save txt from the influence of the Cat?

But I have a feeling that, with the unraveling of the mysteries surrounding the Island and its spirits (the Cat’s true intentions, the origin of the star etc.) through this one last visit (spanning the entire Chapter; i think there will be at least another mini-album) the Island will disintegrate, and the boys and the audience will never see it again. 

There is a feeling of finality to this. It was also there in TDC: Eternity, but that was more of txt getting locked out of the Island as their stay for that time of their lives came to an end. 

Maybe the destruction will be The Cat’s revenge after his plan is thwarted.  

The whistle instrumental at the last part of the MMA performance is repeated again in the Trailer; but warped so that sounded more sinister. This is definitely somewhere in the mini-album, either the intro or the title. Either way, its really prettyyyy

The text in this video says: the voice of the devil i met at the window at midnight was sweet. The GOOSEBUMPS i got when i read that like!!!!!!

I hope i get to see txt showcasing their artistry and storytelling through this comeback, bc up until this point they have set my expectations really high

[archived-kin]

solomon deserves a husband so i'm giving him one (it's you)

note from kin: i don’t know HOW i’ve managed to get this out so soon after my last piece but i do know that it is a miracle (now watch me disappear for like a month lmao)

anyway there’s a severe lack of content for the boys in this fandom and therefore i am here to try to mitigate that!!

(as a heads up, this is sort of an au version of obey me’s story?? there’s no exchange program, and the general human world doesn’t know about the devildom or celestial realm, apart from sorcerers and similar special cases. solomon and simeon both still visit the devildom, though - solomon because he has a sort of job at the r.a.d., and simeon as an ambassador sort of thing for the celestial realm. the r.a.d.’s also less of a school and more of an organisation?? i haven’t really fleshed it out haha)

fandom: obey me!

character(s): male! reader, solomon, mammon (briefly), simeon (briefly)

pairing(s): solomon/reader

warning(s): blasphemy??? solomon disses god really briefly and that’s about it

genre: fluff!!!!!!!!!

As a general rule of thumb, Solomon doesn’t believe in destiny.

He’s lived long enough to know that, no matter what he does, the universe does not care about him, much less have some sort of plan for his future. The course that the world takes isn’t affected by some grand puppet master pulling the strings; one has to force the so-called path of fate in the direction they want it to take if they want something. Solomon knows this better than anyone.

It’s as much a downfall as it is a strength - as much as power as he’s amassed over the countless years, his constant need to challenge the universe’s power has lead him down a path far from humanity. There had been a time when he was like every other human on the Earth, when he was still young, full of hope and determination and promise, believing earnestly in some God high in the sky who would guide him through his life.

He shudders to think what sort of insufferable fool he’d been back then. An almighty God? Don’t make him laugh. The ruler of the Celestial Realm is incompetent at best, and a downright childish brat at worst. He doesn’t know how the angels put up with him - though he supposes his realm-smiting power is part of it. Why the universe chose to place such power on such a being’s shoulders will always be beyond him.

Long as it has been since he had been so naive, Solomon has learnt his lesson, to say the least. He’s seen people come and go, witnessed kings and queens reign and fall, watched on as friends and family live and die. It’s a truth that he’s been forced to learn across the years of his long, long life, a curse that he brought upon himself the moment he gave up the purity of his soul in pursuit of magical arts. 

He supposes he’s always had an insatiable thirst for the unknown - to play all his cards out front, to tempt fate’s hand, to jump into the void and hope to find ground beneath his feet when he lands. It’s that sort of reckless abandon and hunt for knowledge that has led him so far down this path, through so many years, across so many sleepless nights. The world continues to swirl around him, always changing, but Solomon refuses to be swept away. Because, even in the tumultuous movement of the universe, there has always been one constant that keeps him anchored - you.

The night he'd first met you isn’t as clear in his mind as he would have liked. He wants to be able to remember everything - the way the soft blue light of the will-o’-whisps had lit up your eyes in the dark of the night, the way that your hand had felt in his as you greeted him with a handshake, the way that you had said his name for the first time - in sharp detail, but Solomon knows better than to hope to recall something so long ago so perfectly.

He’d still been relatively new to a sorcerer’s life at the time - excited and determined and a little too full of himself. You… well, he doesn’t remember exactly, but he does remember thinking that you must be the most handsome being to exist. The you of today would probably shake your head and dismiss the past you as an obnoxious high hoper, but Solomon has loved you for so many years that he’s never been able to think of you as anything less than perfect.

There are times when he wondered how he managed to stumble upon such luck. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Solomon has has had truly insufferable periods over the years he’s known you, and he’s always considered it a miracle that you still chose to stay. Even through all the restless nights and the exhausting trips, even after all of the clashes and vexation, you have refused to give up on him.

He had asked you once, in the aftermath of an argument spurred by his inability to confide in you and your own frustration with his refusal to communicate. He remembers that night so vividly that it might well have happened just yesterday - the frustrated shouts, the shattering of glass, the warmth of your arms around his shoulders as he finally collapsed on himself. He doesn’t know what your face had looked like as he stuttered the question out in stuttering breaths, head buried in your shoulder in an effort to conceal his tears, but he imagines that it had been soft.

“I’m not going to leave you to yourself,” You had told him matter-of-factly, stroking his hair with such fondness  that it still sometimes brings a tear to his eye when he remembers it on particularly long nights. “And I’m not giving up on you, either - not now, not ever.”

Solomon had been unable to speak, too choked up by his feelings and the sudden, overwhelming love spreading through his entire body to reply. He’d only sunk deeper into your embrace, wishing that the moment could last forever.

I wonder if he still remembers that…?

“...lomon! Anyone home?!”

He jolts up from the table he’s sitting at so abruptly that he nearly knocks his head right into Mammon’s chin. The Avater of Greed, however, reacts quickly, and hops back before Solomon can break his jawbone.

“Jeez, you’re off on a different planet today,” He comments, setting his hands on his hips as Solomon shoots him the sort of look that tells him that he’s not particularly enthused about his presence at the moment. “What’s up with ya?”

Solomon isn’t quite sure how to answer. Sorry, I got distracted thinking about how perfect and lovely my husband is and how I’m the luckiest man in the entire world - nay, the universe - to have him. He nearly physically shudders at the thought of how much teasing he’d receive if he answered like that.

Instead, he chooses a much safer and still technically true option. “Just thinking about going home today.”

Mammon nods in understanding, pulling up a seat next to him and throwing himself down into it without much grace. “I feel ya. S’ been a long day.”

“You’ve barely done anything today,” Solomon quips flatly, not particularly impressed by the demon’s attempt at… empathy? Relatability? Either way, it isn’t working. “I doubt it’s been that hard.”

“Now, now, Solomon, let’s not be rude,” interjects a soft voice from behind them. Simeon is still dressed in his fancy envoy cloak - the one so long and heavy that it trails along behind him like a bridal train, decorated with a number of elaborate golden charms that jingle as he moves.

Solomon attempts to shoot him a slightly annoyed look, but it’s kind of hard to stay irritated by one of the literal embodiments of holiness and light, even if he wakes you up at very unholy hours of the morning to help him figure out how to answer an email. Solomon isn’t ungrateful for the new age of technology descending on humanity, but he’d like it a lot better if it hadn’t somehow reached the angels as well. The amount of times he’s had to tell Simeon that he needs to actually turn his D.D.D. on before he starts calling someone is… embarrassing, to say the least.

“You’re back in the Devildom, I see,” He observes as the angel pulls up a seat and sits beside him. “Did Michael send you down again?”

Simeon nods with a smile. “There were some arrangements that needed to be made with Lord Diavolo. Naturally, I volunteered.”

“Naturally,” Solomon echoes, raising a brow at his friend. “I don’t suppose your biases had anything to do with your decision?”

“Well, they may have had some effect,” Simeon answers with a shameless smile and shrug, beginning to undo the tassels of his heavy cloak and draping it on the back of chair he’s sitting on. He’s still wearing all of his regular clothes underneath it - including the other, much smaller cloak. Solomon wonders how he hasn’t somehow melted in the heat.

“When’re you gonna start heading home, anyway?” Mammon asks, beginning to pick at a loose thread on his jacket sleeve. “It’s gettin’ late.”

Solomon blinks and looks up at the clock. “...ah, you’re right. In that case, I'll get going now.”

Mammon shoots him an odd look as he pushes himself up from the table and reaches for his bag, managing to hoist it onto his shoulder with some effort. He’s never been particularly good at heavy lifting - you’re usually the one helping him carry everything around the house.

“Oi, oi, what’s the rush?” the demon asks as Solomon adjusts the weight of his bag and starts heading for the door. “You on a timer or something?”

“I promised [Name] I’d be home earlier tonight,” is Solomon’s slightly absent-minded reply as he fiddles about in his pocket to find his transportation charm, nearly losing his balance and dropping his bag in the process. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

Mammon watches him in clear confusion for a moment as he pats down his pockets, mumbling a quiet curse under his breath as he realises that he’s left his charm at home again. How many times this month does that make it now...? He supposes that he could always perform a teleportation spell, but knowing his luck with those, he’ll probably end up somewhere in Morocco again.

“Oi, Simeon,” Mammon hisses to the angel, who cocks his head slightly to the side and leans over so as to hear him more clearly. “Who’s this ‘[Name]’ Solomon’s talkin’ about?”

“You don’t know?” Simeon blinks at him in blatant perplexion - as if he can’t even fathom the idea that Mammon might not know who Solomon’s talking about. “He’s talking about his husband.”

There’s a long moment of silence. Then—

“Solomon has a HUSBAND!?” Mammon practically shrieks, completely flabbergasted. “I thought he was totally, like, the forever alone type!”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed?” is Simeon’s bewildered response. “Who do you think Solomon is always talking about buying groceries for?”

“I thought he was just buyin’ them for himself!” Mammon fires back, looking far more ruffled and shocked than he probably should be. He whips around to look at Solomon, who’s flicking through the little packet of blank charms he keeps on him at all times in an effort to find the right one to create a temporary transportation charm. He’s had to do it so many times this month that he’s already beginning to run out. “You’re married?!”

“Of course,” Solomon answers vaguely, briefly raising his left hand, allowing Mammon to spot the soft glint of a ring around his fourth finger. “You’re not?”

“Wh— ‘course I’m not!” Mammon exclaims, positively scandalised by the very concept. “Why would I get married, huh?! It’s a waste of time and a waste of money!”

“Think whatever you like,” Solomon dismisses him easily, which only seems to irritate Mammon further.

Finally having found the right blank charm, he plucks it out and begins carefully tracing patterns onto it with a single glowing finger. He’s dimly aware of Mammon furiously whispering to Simeon in the background, with the angel responding in kind, most likely sharing some exaggerated story from back when the three of you had worked together - when Solomon had accepted a job from the Celestial Realm. The details of the whole thing are a little fuzzy to him now, long as it has been, but he’s almost completely sure that Simeon somehow still remembers the whole thing flawlessly.

“How old even is he?!” He hears Mammon hiss.

“I’m not so sure myself,” Simeon replies, placing his chin in a thoughtful hand. “Let’s see… their two millennial anniversary’s coming up in about two years, and I remember Solomon saying that they got married when he was around two hundred or so… which means he’s about twenty-one hundred years old.”

“Holy shit,” Mammon mutters in disbelief, turning glance at the sorcerer as he starts folding down the corners of his charm into the right shape. “Humans aren’t supposed to live that long. How’s his husband still alive, then?”

“That isn’t really a question for me to answer,” Simeon shakes his head slightly. “I suppose you can always ask him yourself if Solomon ever brings him to work with him.”

“I doubt it,” Solomon speaks up for the first time since announcing his departure. “He’s usually busy during the day. Besides, transportation charms make him queasy, and I’m not making him walk all the way down here.”

“Aren’t you a wizard?” Mammon asks, scratching his head. “Just do one of ya fancy teleportation spells. Why d’you need a charm?”

Solomon sighs. He hates to admit it, but he can’t be bothered to make up some other reason to cover up for himself. “I’m afraid that teleportation spells aren’t actually particularly accurate. We could end up somewhere in the Pacific if I’m not careful.”

Mammon looks thunderstruck. “Then what about all those times you’ve teleported us?! Don’t tell me we coulda ended up in, like, the Archaic Pit or something?!”

“Well, it was always a possibility,” Solomon shrugs in reply, finishing the charm with a deft flick of his hand. “You’re a demon, I sure you could have handled yourself.”

“But…!” Mammon crosses his arms and turns away like a grumpy child. “Hmph…”

“Do say hello to [Name] for me, will you?” Simeon requests as Solomon turns to open the door, ignoring the sulking demon sitting beside him. “We haven’t been able to talk for a while.”

“You text him every day, don’t you?” Solomon asks, shooting him an unimpressed look. “I’d say that’s conversation enough.”

“Now, now, there’s no need to be stingy,” Simeon countered with a smile, tilting his head slightly to the side and leaning forward. “Besides, one misses the presence of an actual person after a while of nothing but electronic communication... especially texting is so difficult. Tell him he’s always welcome to come around for some tea - Luke would be happy to see him.”

Solomon shakes his head, but makes a sound of affirmation nevertheless. You had mentioned that you’ve missed seeing Simeon since he’d started the whole negotiator businesss, and he isn’t the sort of person to deny you the company of a friend. “I’ll let him know. Anyway, I should really be going now…”

“Have a safe journey!” Simeon calls after him as he swings the door open and sweeps out. Solomon waves a hand over his shoulder in response, then disappears down the corridor, most likely to a quiet spot in the courtyard to use his charm. He’s been banned from using them indoors ever since he accidentally shattered one of the fancy artifacts in the assembly hall and sent hundreds of shards flying everywhere. Apparently Barbatos is still finding tiny pieces of glass in the crevices of the floor.

“Why didn’t Solomon ever say anythin’?” Mammon asks Simeon after a moment of quietude. “Seems like the sorta thing you’d mention.”

“Solomon’s a private man,” Simeon says with a shrug. “Besides, he and [Name] have made plenty of enemies over the years, and you’d be shocked by how quickly names and locations can spread…”

“Does he mind us knowin’ about it, then?”

“Well, personally, I’ve known for a while,” Simeon answers, “And I’m sure the others will have worked it out by now - Solomon’s always finding ways to mention [Name] in passing. But no, I’m sure he doesn’t mind. He’d say something if he did.”

Mammon nods and goes silent for a little while. Then he asks, “What’s this [Name] like, then? Must be some guy if Solomon liked him enough to put a ring on him and keep him for that long.”

“Well, let’s see…” Simeon drums his fingers thoughtfully against the tabletop. “He has quite the penchant for raising deadly plants, he hasn’t gone more than a full month without exploding something or another for about five centuries, he takes clocks apart in his spare time, he likes his coffee with a touch of vanilla, he collects cursed books, he makes a lovely butterscotch-cinnamon pie, and he works as a curse breaker for hire.”

It takes a moment for Mammon to process all of the information that’s just been dumped on him. “...sounds like the kinda guy Satan would get along with.”

“I thought so as well,” Simeon agrees. “Their house even reminds me of Satan’s room, in a way… [Name] is quite the avid reader.”

“What, you’ve been?”

“Only once,” Simeon’s eyes flutter closed for a moment as he reminisces. “Quite a long time ago now. I wouldn’t know where to find it even if I wanted to go again, though - it’s always moving.”

“Do they move house a lot, then?”

Simeon shakes his head. “Oh, no, no. They’ve lived in the same house for centuries - it’s the house that moves itself.”

Mammon pauses. “...what?”

“The building,” Simeon clarifies. “They’ve got an enchantment on the whole thing that makes it change locations every couple of weeks or so.”

“But… why?”

Simeon shrugs. “[Name] doesn’t like staying in one place for too long.”

“Still, isn’t that a bit much…?” Mammon pulls a face. “They could always just travel, ya know…”

“As Solomon said, transportation talismans make [Name] feel queasy,” Simeon explains. “And he prefers not to use teleportation spells when it comes to him, just in case they end up somewhere dangerous.”

“And he doesn’t care about the rest of us ending up somewhere dangerous?” Mammon huffs and collapses forwards onto the table.

“Well, you can’t really compare the two,” Simeon says patiently as the demon continues to mutter indignantly under his breath. “He’s his husband, and we’re essentially just his friends from work.”

Mammon opens his mouth to make a rebuttal, then thinks about it for a moment and changes his mind. After a moment, he comments, a little less resentfully, “Well, you’d think he’d at least introduce us.”

“He’s been planning to for a while, actually,” Simeon tells him. “Give him some time and he’ll probably bring it up on his own.”

Mammon nods. “He’d better!”

“I’m home.”

You look up from the book you’re reading and hop down from your seat on the roof just in time to see Solomon emerge from the back garden, looking noticeably dishevelled, with leaves decorating his head like some sort of fancy accessory.

“Welcome back!” You greet him happily, setting the book aside and moving forward to start picking the leaves from his hair. Solomon smiles softly at you as you take his bag in one hand and start pulling him to the front door with the other. “You forgot your talisman again, by the way.”

“I noticed,” He laughs, gently removing your hand from his upper arm and wrapping his fingers around it instead. “Why else do you think I ended up in the hedges again?”

“It’s a wonder that you’ve had to make these temporary talismans so many times and you still haven’t gotten one right yet,” You tease in reply, nudging him in the shoulder. “How many points is that on the tally now, then?”

“Ten for the basement, seven for the roof, and eleven for the hedges now,” He answers with a small pout as you laugh. “Honestly, you’d think I would have learnt my lesson...”

“You never do, love.” 

The door creaks as you and your husband enter the house, only to immediately be greeted by a bundle of scales hitting you head-on. You manage to keep your footing and steady yourself on the doorway; Solomon isn’t so lucky, and ends up laying spread-eagled on the floor with about two hundred kilograms of excited adolescent dragon purring on his chest.

“Looks like Triton missed you,” You comment with a bright smile, setting Solomon’s bag down beside the umbrella rack and leaning over to give the dragon a scratch behind his left horn, just the way he likes it. He rumbles happily and jingles the little bell around his neck at you. “Isn’t he getting big?”

“I saw him this morning, [Name],” Solomon wheezes from his position on the floor, somehow managing to reach up and tickle Triton’s chin with one hand despite the dragon’s weight. “He can’t have grown that much in ten hours.”

“You never know!” You tell him, reaching up and wrapping your arms around Triton’s neck. He coos in a delighted fashion and raises his head, setting it heavily on your shoulder. Solomon uses the brief lightening of the weight on him to take in a deep breath as you allow your dragon to nuzzle furiously into your neck. “Dragons are unpredictable, you know.”

“Believe me, I do,” He sighs tiredly as Triton blows out a pleased puff of hot air and knocks the clock off the wall again. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, Triton, I’d quite like to get back up again.”

The dragon blinks and raises his head from your shoulder, glancing down at the sorcerer that he’s crushing under his weight. Then he huffs and turns away again.

“Oh, you��!” Solomon curses as the dragon seems to press even harder into him. Your laughter rings out across the hall, and while he’d normally take a moment to admire the sound, he’s a little preoccupied. “[Name], stop laughing and help me!”

“He’s like a rebellious teenager!” You splutter helplessly in reply, voice still trembling slightly out of mirth. Triton makes a happy noise as you reach up and rub his scaly cheeks, his ears fluttering slightly. “Awww, you’re really growing up, aren’t you, baby? Your poor dads are really going to have their work cut out for them, huh?”

“Hey,” Solomon calls reproachfully from beneath Triton’s enormous chest. “Your husband’s still being crushed down here.”

“Oh, right!” You click your tongue and give Triton a meaningful look. He grumbles but obeys nevertheless, hopping off of Solomon (though not without knocking all the air out of him by using his chest as a launchpad) and scampering off, most likely to go play with the salamanders that have set up shop in the storage room again.

“I’ll never understand how you manage him so well,” Solomon sighs as you bend down to pull him to his feet, rubbing at the sore spot on his chest. “He never listens to me.”

“Aw, he loves you, really,” You reassure him, taking his hand and pressing a comforting kiss to his knuckles. “He just likes roughhousing with you.”

Solomon shakes his head, wanting to complain further about the big lizard that the two of you had adopted six months ago after the last one grew up and flew the nest, but then he sees the smile on your face, and he feels the flicker of irritation in his chest die down almost immediately. It’s at times like this that he’s really reminded of how absolutely worth it all of the nonsense he has to put up with at work is - because, at the end of the day, you are here, with your warm eyes and your lovely smile, with your comforting hands and your warm embrace, and there is no road too long to walk if you are waiting for him at the end of it.

“I know,” He sighs, tugging off his shoes and stepping into his favourite pair of slippers - the ones with the little cat faces printed on them that you’ve charmed to always maintain a perfect temperature for his feet. He glances at your own feet and notes that you’re wearing your matching pair as well.

The two of you have long since set up a routine for this sort of occasion, and you both fall into it with unconscious ease. Solomon changes into something more comfortable while you put the kettle on in the kitchen, and the two of you inevitably spend so long snuggled up together on the largest armchair in the living room, unwilling to leave the warmth of each other’s presence, that the water cools down, and you end up having to put it back on again. Then you sit together at the table, you with a coffee with a dash of vanilla and him with his favourite chrysanthemum tea that you always brew just the way he likes it. Sometimes you’ll sit side by side, shoulders pressed up against each other as you show him the specifics of your latest curse-breaking commission, and sometimes you’ll sit across from each other, holding hands across the tabletop as he tells you about his day.

Today it is the former, but Solomon can’t help but zone a little out of the detailed deep-dive you’re giving him about the intricacies of the spell that’s cursed this teapot to shoot its contents at anyone who attempts to fill it. It isn’t that your explanation is boring - quite the contrary, in fact; Solomon could probably listen to you describing the most mundane or trivial of things on loop for the rest of his life and be perfectly content with it. No, it’s more to do with the fact that this is the first time he’s been home before dark in a long while, and he can’t help but revel in the fact that he can spend time with you like this again. Of course, there’s something wonderful in coming home to be able to collapse into bed beside you and bury his face in the crook of your neck, drifting to sleep as you burrow closer to him even in your sleep, but Solomon can’t run off of that forever - he needs to see you with your eyes open as well, after all. 

“You’re not listening to a word I say, are you?” You ask as you note the far-off look on your husband’s face. You’re not offended in the slightest by the way he starts at the directed question, evidently guilty, but you are a little puzzled. “Is there something wrong?”

Solomon’s mouth falls open slightly, then shuts again. There’s something about the way you’re looking at him so earnestly that makes his heart stutter like nothing else. Honestly, you’d think he’d be used to this after nearly two thousand years, but it seems that he’s still as weak for you as he was on the very first day of your marriage. “...I suppose I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“You always have a lot on your mind,” You counter softly, giving his hand a brief squeeze. “Come on, you can tell me.”

He laughs quietly, bringing your linked hands up to his face and gently holding yours to the side of his face; you, in turn, unfurl your fingers from around his and rub his cheek affectionately. After a moment, a fond smile pulling at his lips, Solomon replies, “I’ve… missed you a lot this week.”

You pause in mild surprise, but it quickly turns to endearment as Solomon presses his body even closer to yours. The hand that you’re using to hold your mug of coffee moves to settle on his shoulder as you pull him closer. “Really now? What a coincidence. I’ve missed you lots as well, love.”

He chuckles a little bashfully, his cheeks flushing. It seems that your ability to fluster him hasn’t declined even a bit over the years. He’s still well and truly besotted.

You can’t help but find it rather amusing that, despite already having spent a good hour and a half or so in the living room, bundled so close together in the blankets that you could feel his breath on your skin, the two of you are still nestling so close together now. You suppose it’s the effects of a week with much less contact than usual.

You lean forward and press a kiss to his jaw before pulling back again, reaching for your coffee and taking a sip. Solomon exhales softly, pulling his own drink towards him and draining the last of the tea in a single mouthful.

“You know,” He says, setting his empty cup down on the table. “One of my coworkers was asking about you earlier.”

“‘Coworkers’,” You snort at his choice of language, earning a reproachful poke in the side as punishment. “Come on, just admit that they’re your friends.”

“Fine,” He sighs. “One of my friends, then - Mammon, the one that Lucifer’s stringing up all the time.”

“The one with white hair?” You recall, thinking back to the group photo that Simeon had sent you a while back. “He’s the Avatar of Greed, right?”

“That’s the one,” Solomon nods. “Apparently he never noticed that I was married.”

“Well, you can’t really blame him,” You say, giving him a playful nudge. “Honestly, the way you keep your mouth shut, you’d think I was some shameful secret or something.”

Solomon looks scandalised by the very idea - it had only been a little joke, but his eyes flash with such affront that it’s almost as if someone has genuinely called you such a thing. “Of course not! I’d never—”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I was joking,” You cut him off before he can get more riled up. Solomon calms down quickly once you set a comforting hand on his knee, though he still looks a little indignant. “I know why you don’t like talking about us much, but really, it’s okay. They’re your friends, aren't they?”

He hesitates, then nods, releasing another deep sigh soon afterwards. “I suppose. There isn’t much I can really do about it at this point anyway… according to Simeon, most of them have somehow figured it out already.”

“They’re probably a lot smarter than you give them credit for, Sol,” You hum, reaching up and brushing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes for him. “They’re demons, after all. They’ve lived even longer than us.”

“Believe me, they really aren’t.” Solomon shakes his head, a frown pinching at his brow at the very memory of the amount of things that his coworkers have done recently - some of the most notable being Diavolo setting an entire flock of geese free in the courtyard for an ‘experiment’, Levi quite literally throwing himself out of a window just to win a bet against Mammon about who could get down the stairs faster, Asmo causing a stampede in the main hall by dropping and shattering a bottle full of a powerful aphrodisiac potion that became even more powerful once released into the air, and Lucifer accidentally breaking one of Solomon’s favourite cauldrons when he’d transformed into his demon form and inadvertently smacked halfway across the room it with one of his upper wings.

“I’d really love to meet them some day,” You sigh, swirling the contents of your mug around. “They sound like fun.”

“Trust me, the trouble isn’t worth it—” Solomon attempts to reason with you, but he gives up laughably quickly as you pout at him in protest. “Oh, fine. But don’t blame me if you get sick because of the charm again.”

“We don’t have to use the charm,” You shake your head. “Just do a teleportation spell!”

“You know that that’s risky,” Solomon sighs, chucking you under the chin and leaning forward to kiss the tip of your nose. You laugh as he draws back again, a pleased smile rising on his face at your reaction. “We could end up anywhere.”

“You’ve teleported them a bunch of times, though, haven’t you? And you haven’t ended up in Texas or the Sahara Desert any of those times!”

The resemblance to his earlier conversation with Mammon and Simeon is almost uncanny. “That’s different. I was still teleporting them within the Devildom, not across an entire realm barrier… and besides, I can afford the risk with them. You’re a different story.”

You pout again, shoulders dropping in defeat, though it doesn’t escape Solomon’s notice that his sentiment seems to have appeased you at least a little. “...guess we’ll just have to use a transportation talisman, huh…?”

“That’s your only option if you really want to visit, yes.”

You go quiet for a moment or two, nose wrinkling and face scrunching as you think it over. Solomon doesn’t mind the lack of conversation - he entertains himself by studying your features, wondering for perhaps the millionth time how he managed to find someone like you.

Finally, a determined look rising on your face, you nod and proclaim, “Then I’ll do it!”

Solomon cocks his head slightly to the side. He can’t say he’s surprised by your eagerness, but he had expected it to take you longer to make up your mind. He opens his mouth to say something, but tou answer his question before he’s even asked it, a skill that you’d managed to pick up within the first year or so of knowing him.

“I really wanna see what you actually get up to when you work,” You explain, looking a little sheepish. “You’ve had a job there for nearly two years and I’ve never even said a word to the people you work with.”

Solomon laughs. “It isn’t usually a requirement in the workplace. Wear appropriate uniform, bring any equipment you need, introduce your husband to your coworkers within the decade…”

“Still, I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least meet them,” You say. “Besides, I want to see Simeon as well. You said he’s working down in the Devildom for a bit as well, didn’t you?”

“Why are you so eager to see him, huh?” Solomon’s tone is light and teasing, so you know not to take him seriously as he puts on an hurt expression. “I’m offended. Your dear husband’s right here and you’re thinking about some angel.”

“Oh, stop it, you,” You shake your head in slightly exasperated amusement as he runs a finger down his cheek in lieu of a tear. “You know it’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” He pulls an exaggeratedly petulant face and pretends to turn away like an upset child. “Sometimes I feel like you love him more than me.”

“Simeon’s a lovely guy, but you’re still the only guy for me, you doof,” You tell him, tapping fondly at the cheek he’s turned to you with your free hand. Solomon obligingly turns back around to look at you, a grin pulling at his mouth. “Why would I marry you and then stay here for two thousand years if you weren't?”

“I guess I always assumed it was out of pity or something,” He jokes in response, leaning forward and briefly brushing his nose against yours. “And, just so you know, you’re the only guy for me as well.”

“I’d better be,” is your lighthearted reply as he pulls away. After a moment, looking at him expectantly, you begin tentatively, “So…?”

He sighs, but gives you a smile nevertheless. “I’ll ask Diavolo. He probably wouldn’t mind if I brought you without asking first, but Lucifer definitely would.”

“What’ll we do if they hate me?” You ask. “Do demons actually eat humans?”

“They wouldn’t dare,” He replies firmly. “Not if I have anything to say about it. Besides, they won’t hate you. I doubt anyone could.”

You laugh and drop your head to rest on his chest. “You’re too nice to me, love.”

Solomon turns to wrap both his arms around your shoulders, setting his chin on the crown of your head. You smile into his jumper, looping your own arms around his waist and pushing yourself closer to him.

“I’m not just being nice. Honestly, [Name], you’re kind of the most perfect man in the universe.”

[chibimyumi]

@thedarkestcrow and a few others have gotten questions about the end of Kuro. The presumption is the final conflict will be between O!C and Sebastian. Many theorize that it will revolve around O!C’s desire to live or not, possibly with his living/reanimated family and friends begging him to escape Sebastian. Of course, even if O!C decides he wants to leave, Sebastian will demand his payment. My question to you is do you think O!C might change his mind about the contract and his will to live?

Dear Anon,

First of all, my thanks for your sweet words ^^

Now, about your question. Very interesting! I myself don’t do prediction theories though; it involves too much guessing based on too little information and too many variables for me to find it comfortable. That’s why I only do analyses of things that have already happened. So I am not sure how much I can help you here ≽▽≼ so my blog might be less amazing to you now, I’m so sorry.

Though, I can use your proposal as a hypothesis and analyse it. This will not be a predictive post, simply a deduction through logic within a hypothesis.

Hypothesis: Undertaker uses Bizarre Phantomhive Dolls to bait O!Ciel into giving up on his contract. Q: “might O!Ciel change his mind about the contract and his will to live?”

Personally I think it is fairly unlikely a zombie-family can cause O!Ciel’s resolve to waver because it is simply too strong.

Character Study

Most human beings who experience (sudden) loss need quite some time to process this information before reaching the stage of “acceptance”. Our boy however, already easily withstood a supernatural being’s positive response about reviving the dead even before he could actually process anything. Most people would not believe a human if they made the same offer, but wished it were true. But if a clearly powerful supernatural appeared before you, that’s a different story; who knows what magic potential they possess?

じゃあ、死んだ人間を生き返らせることは？

Jaa, shinda ningen wo ikikaeraseru koto wa?

And, what about bringing dead humans back to life?

O!Ciel was the one who brought this topic up. Judging from the clear-cut language and lack of emotional markers, it is arguable he said so not because he hoped it were possible, but because he knows it is impossible, and therefore wanted to test the demon’s truthfulness.

Sebastian took the bait, and therewith O!Ciel knew he’d have to strategically use his first wish to seal off the demon’s potential of lying. (Ugh he’s so smart!) O!Ciel’s swiftness in rejecting the demon’s temptation is evidence that he had already fully accepted that what is dead, stays dead.

Discussing Hypothesis

So, knowing O!Ciel has this level of acceptance, how would it play out IF Undertaker does attempt to lure O!Ciel with his revived family?

Had Undertaker really wanted the best chance at making O!Ciel fall for the temptation, he would have to not have exposed the boy to his creations so often. He has seen the in-between stages of reviving the dead, and therefore knows exactly what they are: Just decaying meat manipulated by a lunatic. Being met with the sudden appearance of seemingly flawless living-dead family would no longer be something new to O!Ciel, so it won’t have the advantage of a “pleasant surprise” to him.

O!Ciel is a very clever boy who thinks very clearly as long as he’s allowed the space in his head. So the best way to bait him into making a poor decision would be to disorient or overwhelm him with shocking new information, like at the end of the Circus Arc.

However, shock value is something that declines with every exposure. Now that O!Ciel is already so used to seeing Bizarre Dolls, and every time these zombies just get more and more advanced, he’d know it’s only a matter of time before these Dolls could become basically fully sentient, like his brother did.

Yes, he was very shocked to see R!Ciel back, but if we pay attention he was not so much concerned about his body being resurrected, but what threat R!Ciel’s return would pose to his own position now exposed as ‘the impostor’. Should Undertaker also “revive” his dead parents to try tempt the boy into reuniting with his family, then O!Ciel would be desensitised already by that time. He’d have had too much time to be mentally prepared. Besides, especially after seeing R!Ciel who is the biggest threat nothing would overwhelm him more anymore. You cannot shock somebody twice using the same trick; especially not if the second one is a lesser threat. It would be akin to bad film sequels that over-analyse the success of the original and use the formula of “more = better” to appease audiences.

In this sense, I personally reason that considering how Undertaker has been working so far, he would probably not try to make O!Ciel do a 180 through manipulation; that tactic simply leaves too much space for failure. Also, manipulation does not really seem Undertaker’s M.O.; that’s Sebas’ thing. Undertaker prefers cornering somebody, forcing them to bend eventually – i.e. use ‘hard-power’ instead of ‘soft’, like he did with Sebas on the Campania and at Weston.

How should Undertaker have acted to make the hypothesis work?

If we do go along with the hypothesis that Undertaker does want to use soft-power to get O!Ciel, he had better done things like this:

During the Campania Undertaker had indeed not expected the boy there, fine! That would have been an accident, as well as a competent way of storytelling to inform O!Ciel and the audience that clearly somebody is doing something big, and that Undertaker is not 100% in control of everything.

IF! I were the Undertaker in that situation AND I plan to bait O!Ciel with his “revived” family, I would never have revealed myself to be a reaper, and instead denied any responsibility for the bizarre dolls. Rian Stoker was fully convinced he had worked the disastrous “miracle” anyway, and there is no better scapegoat than one who truly believes himself guilty. Plus, he was scheduled to die anyway. If the scapegoat could just die in an accident caused indirectly by his own doing, the cover-story would have been beyond perfect.

Before Undertaker revealed himself, O!Ciel trusted Undertaker as an ally, and even went to him for sensitive information on which he based his entire job for the Queen. O!Ciel is naturally untrusting, but Undertaker did win that trust, and that should have been too valuable a weapon not to keep. By revealing himself to be an antagonistic and powerful being who mortally wounded O!Ciel’s main security (Sebas), Undertaker proved himself to be untrustworthy.

Now that O!Ciel can no longer trust Undertaker in the slightest, what effect would it have if this untrustworthy lunatic were to try bait him? I find it unlikely that O!Ciel would be stupid enough to take the bait, and Undertaker stupid enough to believe O!Ciel might after all this.

In short, for this hypothesis to work on the naturally untrusting O!Ciel, Undertaker would have needed to:

keep O!Ciel’s trust,

have the advantage of a ‘pleasant surprise’ on his side,

any credibility that his walking-flesh are “really alive”.

I hope this had been interesting ( ´ o｀) Good day to you, Anon ^^

Follow up post: What would O!Ciel do if Undertaker tried to bait O!Ciel with Bizarre Phantomhives?

[hobbitsetal]

A Theology of Suffering

"All things work together for good for those who love God" is a beautiful and well quoted verse. And frequently, a misquoted verse. Too many people tie it into the prosperity gospel teachings of "your best life now!" and the deadly heresy of "if you just have faith, God will bless you!"

What about suffering? What about pain? What about loss? If something bad happens to you, do you not have enough faith? If you live with chronic illness or mental illness or trauma, does God not love you?

Is He not strong enough to guard us from the ills of life, or does He not exist? Without a theology of suffering, these questions have no good answer. But with a theology of suffering, we have the Biblical framework to understand that God is on His throne and to trust Him with the hardships of life.

What do I mean by "a theology of suffering"? I mean a Biblically root understanding of how pain, suffering, and hardship may fit into the Christian walk and into God's sovereign plans for our lives.

Let me begin by quoting Romans 8:28-29 in full and by offering my father's wisdom on what those verses truly speak to: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers."

My father puts it this way: "What is the highest good for any Christian? According to these verses, it is to be conformed to the image of Christ."

What does it mean to be conformed to the image of Christ? It means to become more and more like the most perfect Man who ever lived, to trust God completely, to be Love embodied.

What is love? 1 Corinthians 13 offers the most succinct picture of love: patient, gentle, long-suffering, kind, not envious or boastful. God is all of that in perfection.

But how can Love allow suffering? If He truly loves us, if He wants our best, how does pain enter into this? Many Christians go through long periods of suffering. Why? What are His purposes?

Let me lay out five reasons God may allow suffering, and then expand upon and support them with Scripture: 1. Correction of sin 2. A deeper understanding of Christ's love and the suffering He endured for our sake 3. Greater dependence on God 4. Deeper ministry to others who are suffering 5. Conforming us to the image of Christ

Correction of sin is perhaps the one I hear pointed to most frequently as an explanation for suffering, and it may indeed be God's purpose to use pain to turn us away from disobedience and back to Himself. Throughout the Old Testament, God allowed tribulation to hit Israel whenever His people turned away from Him. 1 Corinthians 11:30-32 speaks of this also: "That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world." In context, Paul is condemning the Corinthians for treating the Lord's Supper with disrespect, but the larger point still stands: the Lord may use suffering to correct us and He may use our weaknesses to cause us to see our inadequacy before Him apart from His own sovereign grace. Hebrews 12:3-13 also speaks of God's discipline as an expression of love, as a Father correcting His beloved children. He loves us too much to leave us in the filth and ugliness of our sin, so He corrects it, and suffering may be His tool of discipline. But suffering may also be His tool to give us the ability to understand His grace better. Hebrews 4:14-16 famously says, "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One Who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." What weaknesses? Well, in the garden of Gethsemane, Christ pleaded with the Father not to have to endure the cross. He expressed fear and anxiety freely, along with His submission to God's will. Further, the gospels mention Christ hungering, thirsting, growing weary, being rejected by those He loved. When we suffer, we have two things: a greater understanding of what Christ went through for our sakes, and the assurance that He understands our suffering. This is not a comparison game. We're not given these words in Hebrews so we'll say, "Oh, Christ suffered worse, so I can shut up and deal with this. After all, it's not as bad as His sufferings." What a depressing take! What a graceless, unloving, burdensome thought! Our God is not any of those things. Our God doesn't say, "I went through worse; you can deal with this." He says, "I understand you. I know firsthand how hard this is. And I will give you grace to endure." And because we know our God empathizes with us, we can depend on Him wholly and with confidence. 1 Peter 5:6-7 puts it with charming gentleness: "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." I personally like the version that translates it, "casting your cares on Him, because He cares for you." Matthew 6:25-34 speaks to God's caring provision, with Jesus's famous words on the sparrow: if even a tiny bird does not escape the Father's notice, how much greater an interest does He take in His children? Some of the greatest suffering offers us the greatest opportunities to see how God cares for us. When we struggle financially, sometimes He sends money from unexpected quarters. Sometimes when we need encouragement, the last person we'd expect to hear from reaches out to us, or a friend says the exact words we need to hear. Sometimes we catch glimpses of how He uses our suffering for good, like Corrie ten Boom realizing the fleas that afflicted her in a Nazi concentration camp also meant the guards stayed out of their barracks and she and her sister could read their contraband Bibles without fear of discovery. Sometimes we can see clearly the grace and kindness He pours out on us, the ways He sustains us past what we thought we could endure. And sometimes, having endured or in the midst of enduring, He uses our suffering to minister to those around us and uses us to say, "God cares for me, so I know He cares for you." 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 puts it powerfully, particularly coming from the Apostle Paul, who documented his suffering for God for our encouragement and instruction: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort." What else is there to say of this? We suffer so that we can encourage others. We suffer so we can attest to the comfort of God. And in so enduring, so encouraging, so attesting, we become more like Jesus Christ the Risen Lamb, Who suffered the very wrath of God. We suffer so that our faith in Christ becomes deeper and greater. As part of His comfort, the Lord tells us how to react to suffering--with joy--and why we should rejoice. James 1:2-4, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Romans 5:3-5, "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us." No suffering is wasted in the hands of God. No suffering is pointless. And in Christ, for those redeemed by His blood and His sacrifice, no suffering is endless. The Lord is sovereign and merciful and He does not allow things to happen without good reason. All things work together for His greatest glory and for our greatest good: to be like Christ and to spend eternity with the God of life and joy. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

[raineydaywrites]

thrall (def.) a state of servitude or submission

I’m doing @febuwhump this month! Day 1: Mind control

Lucretia hadn't expected the design of her relic to be so prophetically symbolic But some days now, it felt like her staff was the only thing still holding her up.

She couldn't rest though. She had to keep looking. Most of the relics weren't active constantly, but they tended to cycle in and out of usage. She didn't know what happened to them in the in-between periods, and she didn't particularly want to.

If the cycles continued as they normally did, then the next one to activate would be Lup's. The Phoenix Fire Gauntlet, as some people on the plane had named it, whispered in both awe and horror. Lucretia had always found the name poetic, but ironic, and very accurate to Lup herself.

The Gauntlet was bad, but it was predictable, and Lucretia appreciated that. The Gauntlet would appear, along wide its Phoenix, and they would find someone to burn to the ground. Often, the person in question would be despicable in some way, but the Phoenix could never seem to keep the anger and flame contained to them alone, and whole cities would burn with them on occasion, often filled with innocents.

The awfulness of each primary target made Lucretia wonder if some part of Lup was still there, within the Phoenix, but she kind of hoped not. Because if Lup was aware of herself, then it would absolutely kill her when she remembered her collateral damage.

It was horrible, that her best case scenario was the brain death of her loved ones, but at least that would mean that they weren't suffering.

Sometimes, she swore that Captain Davenport was still there, but those moments never lasted long before he fell back into fantasy and illusion and his own mind.

They hadn't expected this, when they'd made their devices. They had known that their relics would have a thrall effect, but they had thought that their familiarity with the Light of Creation and their exposure to their objects during the crafting process would immunize them to the effects of their device and each others'.

They had been wrong.

They had put their individual fraction of Light into their objects together, intending it to be a show of solidarity and support.

Instead, it had ensured that none of them were safe from the thrall.

Lucretia knew that she herself was being influenced by the thrall of her Staff, but she had largely been able to retain her sense of self through it. Her device focused on abjuration- protection- and she had already been willing to do just about anything to protect her loved ones and the innocents of this plane, no thrall required. Besides which, her love for her family kept her sane. She needed to protect them most of all, and that focus and goal kept her mind where it was supposed to be.

She had made a list of potential targets for the Phoenix when next she rose, and her Seekers would keep an eye for any sign of trouble, so that she could arrive and do her best to safeguard the innocent civilians surrounding the target.

If she put up enough barriers and shields, then many of them could get out safely, and Lup, if anything was left of her, would know that she hadn't killed everyone. And eventually, the Phoenix would burn herself out, and the fires would die too. Not long after that, Barry would arrive to revive Lup, but the Phoenix would still go dormant for a while afterwards.

It was disconcerting to see Barry now. They had all gotten used to the sight of their liches, but it was more alarming to see him when he was so clearly empty. The Phantom wasn't Barry in the same way that the Phoenix wasn't Lup. And it made him feel wrong to look at.

Still, she was grateful for him. He and his device were the only reason that they weren't dead. Their devices could absolutely wreck through their wielders, and Barry kept it from being permanent.

The other devices tended not to be as lethal as Lup's Gauntlet, but they could be.

Merle was the next most likely to be killed by his device, because his new role as Guardian of Nature left him sowing creation and destruction in equal measure, and sometimes it ripped him apart.

Taako was probably only still alive because of Barry's actions. Every time Lucretia saw or heard about him now, he was different, but one thing remained the same. He was no longer made of flesh and bone, but gemstones or precious minerals or expensive fabrics. Whatever material had caught his fancy recently. It must be Barry's Bell that kept Taako's soul in that ever-changing vessel.

Captain Davenport and Magnus were the only two that hadn't died from their relics, as far as Lucretia knew at least. That didn't mean they weren't still suffering.

Davenport's illusions had not damaged his body, but they did seem to have dragged his mind somewhere else. He didn't seem to be aware of anything around him. She supposed the upside to that was that his device was no longer hurting anyone else.

Lucretia had been brought back by Barry a time or two as well. Her Staff didn't often hurt her very much, but it did put a strain on her body and mind, and sometimes she simply collapsed from it. The first time, she had thought that was it. She had failed her friends and this plane.

But then Barry had arrived- the Phantom had arrived, but he looked so much like Barry in that moment, smiling warmly at her and extending his hand to help her stand. He'd asked if she'd like to continue living.

She hadn't been sure that the truthful answer was 'yes', but she'd given it anyway. She had no other choice.

It had been easier when she'd had Magnus to help her. They had founded the Bureau together, sought solutions to save their friends and protect this plane at the same time, and she'd had a lot more hope of success then.

He'd resisted the thrall of his device at first- the only one of them who had managed that feat. He'd told her that the Chalice had offered the chance to go back and change the past, but he'd been unwilling to do so, as it would cause him to lose his relationships with them- his new family- and it would mean he couldn't have saved all the planes that they'd helped along the way.

That initial rejection had saved him from being thralled, but the Chalice had still whispered to him that he could use it to save the rest of them from their devices. It had tempted him often, and Lucretia was very proud of how long he'd held out against it.

But then, he'd fallen in love with a woman who had joined their Bureau, and he married her, and then, she took him to visit her hometown, and they hadn't come back. And that had been the straw that broke Magnus' back. She hadn't seen him since, but she knew that the Chalice had been activated.

Apparently, the full force of the six remaining devices united against one man as they had been against Governor Kalen was terrifying to behold, but Lucretia had no active memory of it, and couldn't confirm, but she did know that the place where Kalen had died no longer existed, completely obliterated by the force of their combined assault.

Her Bureau didn't know the full story of the devices, but they knew that the people wielding them were not acting of their own free will. It had been important to Lucretia that they know that, because it would kill her if either her friends or her employees got hurt because they got into conflict with each other.

As she laid her head down to sleep, her Staff slipped from her fingers, but it didn't go far. It couldn't do so while still exerting influence over her, so neither of them would let it.

She felt her mind drifting away, and didn't realize where it was drifting until she opened her eyes to see Barry smiling at her.

"Hi, Lucy," he greeted, voice warm and inviting.

She nearly sobbed at the greeting. It had been so long since anyone called her that. Her employees were kind and they respected her, but they didn't really treat her as an equal. And she was so used to being the whole crew's baby sister, that the role reversal was even more isolating.

"Would you like to live again?" Barry asked, coming close to her and grabbing her hand.

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. He held on just as tightly to her.

"No exchange needed, of course. Family discount," Barry's voice chuckled into her ear. His body rumbled with his laughter, and it put her at ease.

"I miss you," Lucretia said. She generally tried not to think about that, because it would kill her to think about it too often. But she missed her family so much.

"I'm right here," Barry responded.

"Are you?" Lucretia wondered. It was hard, to see him like this. Because either he was really here and himself, which meant that all of them had retained some sense of self through this and were therefore suffering, or it meant that the Phantom was manipulating her by using the image of a member of her family, and that would mean that her family was truly gone entirely.

There were no good options, and Lucretia was tired of it.

She stayed like that for a long time, breathing in the presence of someone she could at least pretend was family, until Barry pulled back gently.

"It's almost morning. Time for you to get up," he said.

"Okay," she said, voice breaking only a little.

"You got this, Lucy. It's not the first time you've been alone remember?" Barry said, with a sudden intensity that she hadn't seen from the Phantom before. "We're countin' on you again. I trust you."

Lucretia woke with tears on her face, but her body felt lighter than it had in a long time.

She left her room quickly, and got back to work.

[writerbyaccident]

Snared: Part Seven (Yandere Tomura ShigarakixAFABReader: Lemon)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part FourPart Five Part Six

Trigger Warning: nsfw, dubcon

           Shigaraki pulled you through the hallways of your apartment hurriedly, his grip on your wrist painfully tight in his need to keep you from worming away. Such precaution was hardly necessary though, given the consequences you knew would follow if you tried to run away. But still, Shigaraki was anxious and paranoid at even the very best of times, so he wasn’t about to take any chances, especially where you were concerned. Thankfully, none of your neighbors were out in the halls at the moment, most of them surely having already settled in for the night, but that didn’t keep Shigaraki from worrying. Besides, he wasn’t about to ignore a perfectly good opportunity to touch you, even if it was only your wrist. It was still you, after all, still your warm, soft skin that he now brushed with his own. He could even feel the rhythm of your pulse, positively frantic at his touch. Grinning to himself at the sensation, at the knowledge that he had such a profound effect on you, Shigaraki wondered how much faster he might be able to make your heart beat.

           When the two of you finally reached your apartment door, Shigaraki wasted no time in unlocking it, having taken your keys from you earlier. Pushing you in impatiently, Shigaraki shut the door and locked it. But before turning to you, he also made sure to lock the deadbolt as well, though it was fairly difficult with how eagerly his hands were trembling. He could feel you watching him fearfully, no doubt scared of what he would do once the door was finally secure enough for him. Shigaraki could practically taste your fear in that moment, and it tasted just as wonderful as the rest of you did. It only added to his excitement, his avid yearning to explore each and every part of you. So far he had been annoyingly limited by the constant interruptions and need to bring you under his control, but now he would finally be able to take full ownership of you, to take what was right fully his.

           Turning to face you, Shigaraki’s sickly grin grew further when he noticed the way you were trembling. It was obvious that you were trying hard to stay calm, to not show the full extent of your fear, but your earnest effort only made your quiet shaking all the more arousing to your tormentor. In a way, Shigaraki was almost grateful that he had been forced to hold himself back until this moment. Ever since he had broke into your apartment the previous night, you had been going nonstop, trying relentlessly to stay strong and to keep composed. And now, now everything was truly catching up with you. You had been able to hold on until now by telling yourself that if you didn’t, Shigaraki would make sure that other people would pay the price for it. But now that the safety of other people was no longer an immediate factor, your fear was finally able to take center stage.

           “So you’ve made it through level one,” Shigaraki murmured, stepping closer to you. Chewing your lip anxiously, you inched backwards. You were trying to be subtle in your movements, attempting to keep from setting off the man before you, but if his low growl was any indication, even the slightest distance between you two was too much. Abruptly, Shigaraki lunged towards you, seizing you by the waist and pulling you against him. Breathing heavily, he proceeded to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

           “Well?” he rasped, forcing himself to speak despite the growing demands of his body. “Don’t you want to know what the next level is?” Deciding to give you a hint, Shigaraki began nuzzling your neck hungrily, nudging and caressing your skin. At first he merely brushed your neck with his face, enjoying how soft your skin was against his. Soon enough though, his lips brushed your skin, drinking you in. Shigaraki started slow, wanting to savor you, but as the taste of you flooded his veins, his craving grew beyond what little control he possessed. Needing more, he licked and sucked on your neck, drinking in as much of you as possible. He was drowning in you, glutting himself on the scent and taste of warm summer rain. Yet it still was not enough for Shigaraki. He couldn’t be satisfied with simply one part of you, he needed it all. And so, his hand inched towards the hem of your shirt, slipping underneath deftly.

           “Please.”

           At the sound of your whimper, the roaring in Shigaraki’s blood quieted slightly, allowing him to pause. Not entirely sure what you meant, Shigaraki checked to make sure that he had at least one finger on each hand positioned away from you. Confirming that he did, he wondered what exactly you were whining about then. For it hadn’t been a plea for more, that much Shigaraki could tell from a quick glance at your fearful eyes. Sorely tempted to just carry on, the answer came to him suddenly.

           You didn’t want this. You didn’t want him touching you, especially not in this way. It wasn’t exactly a shock to Shigaraki, but truthfully it hadn’t so much as crossed his mind. And why should it? You belonged to him, after all. He owned you. And that meant that your thoughts on the issue weren’t important. With the matter therefore settled, Shigaraki was about to continue his exploration of your body, when suddenly he remembered something. The night he first met you, before you even knew who he was, you had let him massage your injured ankle. And when he did, Shigaraki caused the sweetest little moan to slip out of your mouth. The noise had been intoxicating, worming its way into him and convincing Shigaraki to keep playing with you. He wanted to hear it again. He wanted to hear all of the sounds you could make, wanted you to fall apart beneath him, until all that you knew was him. It was the next step, he realized, in making you understand that you belonged to him. He would show you just how much you needed him.

           “Don’t worry, precious,” Shigaraki purred in your ear. “I’m going to take good care of you.” Tears forming at his words, you realized that nothing you could say or do would stop him. But still, that didn’t keep you from whimpering when his hand resumed its journey underneath your shirt.

           His fingers just barely touching your skin, they grazed your stomach gently, stroking it back and forth. Then, without warning, Shigaraki grabbed your shirt, making sure each finger was touching it. You could only watch as your shirt crumbled beneath his touch, leaving you all the more vulnerable to the man before you. Gazing down at you, Shigaraki felt his length harden. You were just so pretty, he thought to himself. So pure, so soft, so vulnerable. Before even a minute had passed, he made your bra disintegrate too. Shigaraki growled hungrily once it was gone, his thumb immediately brushing over your nipple, his touch soft at first and then bruising in its force. Leaning down, he sucked on your other breast, swirling his tongue over your nipple. Despite yourself, you found your eyes starting to flutter closed. You couldn’t help it, the way Shigaraki kept shifting between gentleness and harshness sent sparks over your flesh and chills through your bones. It was so consuming that you hardly even noticed when he hooked one of your legs around his waist, lifting you up and moving your other leg to the same position so that you were completely wrapped around him. Gripping your thighs tightly, Shigaraki carried you towards your bedroom, sucking on your neck all the while.

           Once the two of you reached your bed, he set you down on the mattress, pausing briefly to take in the sight of you splayed so prettily before him. Your head still swimming at the moment, you could only gaze up at his burning crimson eyes. Roughly, Shigaraki tugged off his shirt, throwing it to the other side of the room without a second thought. Next he pulled off both his pants and his boxers, his hardened dick immediately springing free. The sight of his length, so immense and already dripping precum, reminded you of the truth of what was going on, causing you to try to shift away. Shigaraki noticed though, and he was not pleased. Grasping your hips harshly, he pushed you deeper into the mattress, only loosening his grip when you stilled.

           Certain that you wouldn’t try to get away again, Shigaraki curled his hands around the top of your shorts, this time letting only four of his fingers touch your clothing. This time he wanted to drag your clothing off slowly, watching closely as your shorts slipped down your legs, When they were finally off of you, Shigaraki crawled on top of you, letting his hair cage your face so that all each of you could see was each other. This was exactly how it was meant to be, he thought distantly, with you only able to see him, him being your whole world. You didn’t need anyone else, and he would prove it to you.

           Lowering his lips to yours, Shigaraki kissed you with a fervor you had never before experienced. His mouth melded with yours, the sensation of your lips kneading against his positively burning. Shigaraki’s tongue caressed yours deftly, the taste of him flooding your mouth. More than ready to keep going, Shigaraki brought his hand towards your aching cunt. When he first reached it, he merely rubbed it over your panties, wanting to have you dripping wet before he really got started. Feeling him stroke your still-clothed pussy had you arching your back desperately, your body demanding more friction. A needy whine slipped past your lips, causing Shigaraki to grin hazily. He latched all of his fingers to your panties, ripping them off as soon as they were halfway gone, far too impatient to wait for them to disappear completely.

Growling in satisfaction once they were no longer in the way, Shigaraki plunged a finger between your folds, the sound of your mewl the sweetest he had ever heard. He curled his finger inside of you, and you felt your walls clench around him. Simultaneously, he rubbed his thumb over your clit, tightening your core and sending jolts of pleasure through your body. And when Shigaraki slipped another finger into your soaking cunt, a lustful moan sounded from your throat, more following when his ministrations continued mercilessly. As the heat in your core swelled, you nearly sobbed in both need and shame, resenting the way your body responded so positively to the villain’s touch. But when Shigaraki simultaneously curled his fingers and pinched your clit, you couldn’t help the climax that shattered through you. The pleasure ignited each and every nerve in your body, scorching them so completely that all you could do was to lie back and take it. Shigaraki felt your walls clench around his fingers, felt the way you trembled sweetly beneath him, relishing each moment of it. Refusing to stop, he kept his fingers moving as you climaxed until your pleasure intertwined with pain from your oversensitivity.

Right as your orgasm was beginning to fade, Shigaraki guided his cock into your drenched folds, shuddering at how tight you were for him. You gasped breathlessly when he entered you, cunt still tender and sore, the sensation making your head swim. You felt so full, stuffed completely and utterly by the man above you. And once he began moving, thrusting in and out of you, things only got more overwhelming. The rhythm and feeling of skin against skin was all that you knew, everything else driven from your mind. Shigaraki watched as your eyes glazed over completely, the only expression within them that of blissful lust and need.

“You’re doing so good for me,” he purred contentedly. “So tight, so perfect. You were made for me.” It was true, Shigaraki thought distantly to himself. You fit around him so perfectly, in ways both physical and otherwise. The intelligence and quiet strength you had showed him, your enticing beauty, they all proved that you were meant for him. With this thought in mind, Shigaraki kneaded his thumb over your clit while he continued fucking you. Heat still building, he felt his end growing near each time your walls clenched around his cock, so he slammed in and out of you with an even more fevered pace. Your core simultaneously pounding and tightening, you craved release more than anything else in that moment. When it finally came, searing through you so intensely that you could feel your very bones tremble, the walls of your cunt clamped down on Shigaraki’s cock, practically milking his own climax out of him. His seed spilling into you as sparks traveled through his flesh, Shigaraki gazed down at you with still-hungry eyes. He refused to stop until you knew that this was exactly where you belonged.

[ineffable-dads]

Questions

Ineffable Husbands, Ineffable Dads, Protective!Aziraphale, Protective!Crowley, slight homophobic thoughts on the teacher’s part

Summary: Isabelle gets in trouble for asking questions and the teacher calls her Dads in for a talk.  You can imagine how they feel about that.

A/N: Please COMMENT AND REBLOG IF YOU LIKE THIS! Also, let me know if any of you would like to be tagged in up coming one-shots. 

Word Count: 2.8K

          Mrs. Darling sat patiently at her desk not bothering to make conversation with the little girl sitting on the other side. It had been ten minutes since the last bell rang and both Mrs. Darling and Isabelle were waiting for Isabelle’s fathers to arrive.

          The girl kept her head down, twiddling her thumbs, swinging her legs and all the other little motions children do when they don’t want to think about something. 

          Mrs. Darling, again, paid no mind.  Isabelle was being punished after all.  Some good constructive silence was exactly what she needed.

         Isabelle had been asking questions again. Normally this was not such a bad thing. In fact, most teachers were encouraged to indulge in such flights of fancy.  However, Isabelle had a habit of asking all the wrong questions.

          Today for instance they were learning about butterflies.  Most of the children asked the usual questions: How long does it take? What do we do with them afterwards? Can we keep them? And so on.

          Isabelle, however, opened with the silliest question Mrs. Darling had heard from a child; Why are they born larva, why can’t they just start off as butterflies?

          The children had laughed, and Mrs. Darling had been tempted to do so as well, but the slight pout that came to the girl’s face restrained her.

          “That’s so stupid,” one of the boys said over the noise.

          “It’s not stupid!” Isabelle snapped.  “Why can’t they just be butterflies? It seems like an awful amount of trouble.”

          Mrs. Darling took a deep breath and gathered herself before putting on a well-practiced smile.

          “You see dear, they have to be larva.  Their born into eggs too small to suddenly be butterflies.”

          Isabelle’s brows furrowed for a moment, clearly unsatisfied with the answer. “So why don’t they have bigger eggs? Or start small and get really big?”

          Mrs. Darling let out a small sigh. “It’s just not the way it is.”

          “But why though?”

          “It’s the way nature made them.”

          “Well nature isn’t very good at planning then, is it?”

          The students let out another laugh, but this time it wasn’t directed at Isabelle. Some of them were looking at right at her.

          Mrs. Darling stiffened, her lip going into a firm line.

          “Isabelle, I do not appreciate you making a spectacle of yourself in my classroom.”  

          “I’m not making a spectacle,” she defended. “I’m just asking.”

          “Well stop asking.”

          “Why though?”  

          “Because there isn’t an answer.”

          “Well there has to be an answer,” she insisted. “Just because you don’t know it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.”

          The room went silent.  All of the children were now looking between Isabelle and Mrs. Darling as the tension grew, a tension Isabelle seemed completely unaware of.

          “What did you say to me?” asked Mrs. Darling sharply.

          “I said just because you don’t know the answer, doesn’t mean it’s not there.” There wasn’t a hint of apology in her tone, and that did it more than anything.

          With concentrated frustration, Mrs. Darling straightened her back to her full height.  

          “Isabelle, go to the principal’s office.”

          The words hit in the same way one might be hit with a feather, if it was strapped to a brick. It was a technique all teachers obtain after spending a few years reining in seven-year olds.  It reminded children at the end of the day they were just tiny humans whose safety and peace of mind were fully reliant on bigger humans.  Normally, it got the job done, but Isabelle was apparently one of those tiny humans who were convinced they were about the same size as the larger ones.

          “But why?”

          “Because you are going to stay there until we are finished with class.”  

          “But why?”

          “You are being punished, that’s why.”

          That got Isabelle’s attention, her annoyed pout morphing in confused frustration. “But I didn’t do anything!”

          “Office now!” snapped Mrs. Darling, deciding to forgo the feather and go right to the brick.

          Isabelle blinked, but it wasn’t out of surprise or fear, rather uncertainty. An odd thought then occurred to Mrs. Darling; Isabelle had never been yelled at by an adult before.  

          This was, of course, impossible, but as Isabelle looked around the room, it seemed the only logical explanation. She appeared looking to her fellow students for how she was supposed to react.

          All of the children were showing their own signs of discomfort; some looking at the desk, others stiff with shock, and all of them fully aware if they made a sound Mrs. Darling’s anger would be turned on them.

          Isabelle got at least part of the message.  She didn’t make eye contact again, but her gait held more confusion then then the intended shame.  She left the room without another word.

          After a small break, Mrs. Darling had managed to catch Mr. Crowley at home. She explained Isabelle had caused a disruption in class and she needed to speak with him and his husband immediately after school ended. And so ten minutes after the bell she and Isabelle sat in the classroom awaiting their arrival.

          They didn’t have to wait much longer than that, as the door opened.

          Mrs. Darling knew well in advanced Isabelle came from a rather unconventional household.  Not that there was anything wrong with having two fathers.  Not at all in Mrs. Darling’s books, or rather there wasn’t anything wrong with it on paper. In practice, however, Mrs. Darling felt children needed both a paternal and maternal figure in their lives in order to balance everything out.  Two men, even two women couldn’t hope to raise a child in a truly healthy, normal way. But she supposed that was where people like her stepped in.  Proper adults who could make up the difference. And looking at Isabelle’s fathers now, it was obvious there was quite a bit to make up for.

          The pair of them were a sight to behold.  An example of opposites if Mrs. Darling had ever saw them.  While one wore off white the other wore off black. Where Mr. Fell was round, Mr. Crowley was slim.  And while Mr. Fell’s look of concern was directed right at Isabelle, Mr. Crowley’s look of contempt was directed right at her.

          “Isabelle,” Mrs. Darling said, cutting through the silence.  “Would you wait outside please?”

          Isabelle nodded, continuing to not say a word as she headed toward the door.

          Mr. Fell stopped her before she could, crouching down to her level.  He pulled a handkerchief from his sleeve and took a moment to dot her cheeks with it.  

          Mrs. Darling hadn’t realized Isabelle had been crying.

          “It’s alright Belle,” he assured, quietly.  “We’ll get this whole thing sorted out and pop off right back home.”

          Isabelle only nodded, clearly not trusting her voice.

          Mrs. Darling suppressed a huff of frustration.  So, they were those kinds of parents; taking the word of the child over the word of a fellow adult.  It was an abhorrent epidemic as far as she was concerned. After all, children had more reason to lie than adults. She was just happy Isabelle decided to keep quiet as to not taint the truth before she could talk to her fathers.

          Isabelle then looked up and away toward her other father.

          It was hard to read his expression through the tinted sunglasses, but the small nod and even smaller tick upward of his lip seemed to be enough for Isabelle. She walked out of the room then, handkerchief in hand leaving just Mrs. Darling, Mr. Crowley, and Mr. Fell to themselves.

          “Please have a seat,” she greeted, gesturing them to the two chairs in front of her desk.

          They each did, Mr. Fell sitting fully up right with his hands placed dutifully in his lap.  Mr. Crowley meanwhile made himself comfortable, which was to say, leaning back as far as he could, crossed arms and legs spread wide.  

          This was going to be a long conversation.

          “Now I’m sure Mr. Crowley has informed you as to why I asked you here,” she said, deciding Mr. Fell was going to be the easier of the two to talk to.

          “Yes, he did,” Mr. Fell replied.  “But I don’t think either of us are clear on the details. What sort of disturbance did she cause? Nobody is hurt, are they? Isabelle did seem rather upset.”

          “Yes, well, I’m sure that’s just guilt manifesting itself,” Mrs. Darling waved off. “Isabelle made a point of mocking me in front of the class today.”  

          Mr. Crowley let out a snort, earning a reproachful glare from his partner.

          “What?” he asked.

          Mr. Fell let out a small sigh before turning his attention back to Mrs. Darling.

          “I will say that sounds rather unlike her,” he said. “What exactly did she say?”

          “She accused me of not knowing the answer to a question.”

          “Well did you?” It was Mr. Crowley who spoke, giving her a moment’s pause.

          “Did I what?”

          “Did you know the answer,” he said it slowly, and she got the vague impression she was being mocked again.

          “Well, no…”

          “So Izz didn’t accuse you of anything, she just stated a fact.”  

          Mrs. Darling was now certain the man was laughing at her.  At least now she knew were Isabelle got it from.

          “She was asking improper questions,” she replied, tightly.

          “What’s wrong with asking questions?”  

          Mr. Crowley leaned forward forcing Mrs. Darling to meet his gaze.  She immediately regretted it. There was something about his eyes.  Wave lengths of light particles entered her pupils sending off a chain reaction of neural impulses to her brain, accumulating into an image of slitted yellow eyes burning with all the fires of hell over the top of his glasses.  The laws of physics and human physiology had gone through a lot of trouble to present her with this information, but it was all for not. Somewhere in the process her mind decided what she was seeing was impossible and therefor, couldn’t exist. If someone were to ask her what color Mr. Crowley’s eyes were, she wouldn’t have been able to answer.  This also had the side effect of not giving her body the signals to run in the opposite direction.

          “She asked me why butterflies can’t just be born butterflies and had to go through a larva stage first,” she said, caring on with the confidence of naivety. “That’s not a question you ask if you’re looking for an answer.  It’s a question to ask to make the other person appear foolish.  Isabelle has a habit of asking these sorts of disingenuous questions, and frankly somebody has to talk to her about it.”

          Mr. Crowley lip tightened.  It was only then Mrs. Darling noticed just how tightly balled his knuckles were.

          “And by talk to her, you mean punish.”

          “If that becomes necessary, yes.”

          There was a flash behind his glasses which cut through the cloud keeping Mrs. Darling from seeing his eyes straight to the part of her brain which still remembered to climb the nearest tree when it saw something with large pointed teeth.

          Mr. Fell’s place a hand on Mr. Crowley’s arm, rubbing it gently.  The tension didn’t leave the other man’s shoulders, but it did make Mrs. Darlings urge to crawl out the window slightly less urgent.

          “So, let me see if I’m understanding this correctly,” said Mr. Fell, in a tone which acted as a thin layer of ice keeping one from seeing the frozen rushing river underneath.  “You brought us here with the intention of us speaking with Isabelle about asking questions in class because you’re too prideful to admit when you don’t know the answer.”

          “It’s not a matter of pride,” she defended. “It’s a matter of maintaining authority in the classroom.”

          “By making yourself appear infallible.”

          “I’m the teacher!” she snapped.  “Children need to see me as an authority they can trust.”

          “So don’t lie to them,” interjected Mr. Crowley. “If you don’t know the answer. You don’t know the answer.  You’re human.  You’re allowed to not know things.”

          “That’s not the point!”

          “Right, the point is to teach children to trust any adult with authority over them. I’m sure that won’t have any long-term consequences.”

          Mrs. Darling was about to say something along the lines of “listen to me you washed out punk rocker, the seventies called and would like to remind you, you lost”, but she never got the chance as Mr. Fell let out a distracting cough.

          “It seems to me we’re at an impasse,” he said. “You want us to punish Isabelle for embarrassing you.  While we, on the other hand, rather not, because from what you’ve described, it seems to me, Isabelle hasn’t truly done anything wrong.”

          Mrs. Darling opened her mouth to interject, but the man continued on.

          “We will, however, take the time to explain when asking questions is no longer beneficial and it might be best to simply look it up when she gets home. If she does ask questions you don’t know the answer to, my suggestion is to just say “I don’t know”.  Personally, I think the world would be a much more pleasant place if now and again people just said “I don’t know”.  What do you think my dear?”

          Mr. Crowley didn’t look to the other man, his gaze never leaving Mrs. Darling. It made her uncomfortable.  It was an odd feeling being stared down by something that wasn’t supposed to be there.

          “Seems fair to me,” he finally said.

          “Wonderful,” Mr. Fell said, cheerfully.  “And, Mrs. Darling, does that sounds reasonable to you?”

          She looked to him, hoping to find some reprieve from Mr. Crowley’s face only to be met by something else.  Her mind had an easier time deciding that his eyes were truly there, it was the number of them she was having trouble recollecting.

          “I…” Her mind was out of focus.  That feeling of running up a tree was gone, and the more complex feeling of need to appeal to a higher unseen and unknowable authority for some semblance of mercy was starting to take over.  

          “Y-Yes.  I think that is quite reasonable.”

          “Excellent,” Mr. Fell said with a smile.

          His face became clear again with just the normal two blue eyes twinkling back at her.  

          All she could do was nod. She was left with the feeling just having been about to step off a curve only to be pulled away at the last minute just before a delivery truck turned a blind corner.  It had taken a lot out of her.

          Mr. Fell didn’t seem to notice.  “Well, if that’s all settled, I think we better be off. Crowley?”

          “Right,” he said, getting up from his chair and taking the lead out the door.

          “It was lovely to meet you,” Mr. Fell said pleasantly before quickly following behind.

          Mrs. Darling stood in stunned silence only truly being able to half remember the conversation.  Regardless in the ensuing weeks the phrase “I don’t know” started to enter her regular vocabulary.  

          Others quickly noted her change in demeanor.  She didn’t seem as on edge as before and had developed sudden willingness to listen to others who did, in fact, know what they were talking about.  She became more open to new ideas, and it was generally agreed upon that whatever made her decide to adopt this phrase had changed her for the better.  

          Her students felt it most acutely.  The general fear about raising their hands started to dissipate and questions like “how do you spell weird” started to be replaced with “why is weird spelled that way”.  However, nobody bothered to ask what had brought on this change.  Some of the smarter kids suspected something, and occasionally turned their gaze to Isabelle after a fellow student asked a particularly odd question.

          Isabelle, for her part, kept mostly to herself.  She still asked questions.  She was seven after all and being at it for so long made it impossible for her to stop. However, she did make a point to more properly read the room, and occasionally write a small note on her paper whenever are rather hard question crossed her mind.  

          “Humans are quiet sensitive Belle,” Papa had explained to her.  “Knowing that they don’t know something makes them uncomfortable.  Always has.”

           They never told her to stop though.  Her Dad made a point of that, going so far as he make her promise.

           “Don’t you ever stop asking questions,” he had told her.  “You understand?  I don’t ever want you to feel like you need to stop asking questions ever, and don’t let anyone tell you, you should.  Not me. Not Aziraphale.  Not anyone.  Promise me. Isabelle I need you to promise me that you’ll never stop asking questions.”

           She did, and she would never break that promise even years and years after. After all, just because you don’t know the answer, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

[tiaragqueen]

can i request a shy and gentle yandere jimin that manipulates the reader into staying with him? he would never hurt her or others but threatens to hurt himself is she wants to leave. thank u and i love ur writing 🤩

Yaksok

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Park Jimin x Reader

✂ Word Count: 2,9k

✂ Trigger Warning: Self-harm, mentions of depression, suicide attempt, manipulation, possessiveness

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Donot re-upload my writing to another website or use it without mypermission.

[Edited]

***

To be honest, I didn’t expect this one-shot to get so dark. I had to prevent myself from imagining certain scenes too vividly in case I became too uncomfortable. They’re not too explicit. So, if anyone feels the same way as me, please don’t force yourself to read this. Feel free to click the back button. Thank you.

If you like mywriting, please support me on ko-fi!

“I don’t think I can do anything without you. I can’t live a day without you. I’m gonna try to handle you. I’m not dangerous. So, baby, don’t worry.” – Stuck [Monsta X]

Jimin’sfavorite expression of yours was when you were simply glowing. No, not in a literal sense. It was when you skippedaround, with a huge smile gracing your darling face, and the sunlight hittingall the right spot of your visage. Heespecially loved it when he was thereason for your joy. It gratified himto know that he had succeeded in making you happy, however small it might be. Because your smile was worth it, and Jimin would do anythingto see that sight forever.

However,he couldn’t find it in himself to be as happyas you did today.

“Baby,you look beautiful. Where are you going?” Jimin asked, sitting on the marooncouch with his legs spread wide.

Hewas indirectly inviting you to sit on his lap; something that he always didwhen you both didn’t have anything to do that day. He simply loved wrapping hisarms around your stomach, or sometimes, you would be the one who hugs him frombehind. Jimin was initially wary with your offer, thinking that you might nolonger like sitting on his lap, while turned out you just wanted to repay his favor.

Thatwas what he loved from you; your sense of gratitudeand indebtedness. Sure, Jiminshowered you, unconditional love, freely and never demanded you to reciprocate, but it felt nice when you acknowledgedhis efforts.

“Oh,really? Thanks!” You grinned shyly, the apples of your cheeks reddened alittle. “I’m actually going to go out with my friends.”

“Who?”

Youlooked up, trying to remember the names of your friends who would join.“Bambam, Lisa, Jennie, Kai, and Xiumin.”

Thebeam on Jimin’s face slowly disappeared like a setting sun. “Xiumin…?”

“Yeah,Xiumin.” You nodded absent-mindedly as you put on your shoes. “You stillremember him, right?”

Oh,yes. Of course, Jimin still remembered that guy.How could he not? Xiumin was, afterall, your ex. The man who had datedyou before you met Jimin. The man whogot to be your first in everything;first kiss, first hug, first touch. Though, you’d claimed that you never hadsex with him. Jimin felt an incredible relief washed over the rock that weighedhis chest, because how could he go on knowing that that filthy guy had taken your virginity?

Yeah,sure. Jimin hadn’t touched yousexually, either. The furthest thing he’d ever done was a make-out. But evenso, he was careful not to step the boundaries that you’d set before you twostarted dating. It wasn’t as if you refused to be intimate with him. It wasjust you wished to prevent unplanned pregnancy, and he readily complied,however heavy it felt to him.

Jiminfrowned as he tried to word his question properly. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but he also didn’twant you to leave him. Especially to meet up with that… that guy. He knew that you’d parted ways with Xiumin peacefully, asyou felt that the relationship was going nowhere, but Jimin still couldn’tshake off the jealousy that bubbled on his chest. What kind of man doesn’t feelthat way when his girlfriend is about to walk with her ex?

“Doyou really have to leave, baby?”

“Yeah,we’ve been planning that since last week.”

Last week. You’d been secretlyplanning to go out with other people – with your ex – since last week. Well, technically it wasn’t so much of a secret since Jimin hadn’t asked about ityet. But at the very least, you could give a heads up right?

Thiswas too sudden. Too much for him tocomprehend at once.

“Chim?Jimin?” A hand snapped in front of his glazed eyes. “Earth to Jimin.”

“Don’tgo,” he whispered.

Youstrained your ears in order to hear him more clearly. “Huh? Did you saysomething, Chim?” you inquired.

Helooked up, gaze resolute yet pleading.Begging you to just say yes. “I said,don’t go.”

“Whatare you talking about, Jimin? Of course, I’ll go. It’s been a long time since Imet my friends. Surely you can allow me to have some fun once in a while,right?”

“AmI not important to you anymore,[Name]?”

Youstraightened up. Jimin preferred to call you with affectionate nicknames, sofor him to suddenly call you with your name suggested that he was being serious with you. Of course, it didn’tmean you would immediately obey his plea. You were his girlfriend, not his maid. There was no reason for you to kowtowjust because he refused to let you go out.

“Jimin,you know that you’ll always be important to me, right?” you said earnestly. Youhad seen first-hand how hysterical Jimin could be when cornered, and you’d liketo avoid it at all cost. Patience wasn’t something that both of you really hadbefore, but if you wanted to keep this relationship, then one of you needed tolearn how to be patient. Therefore, you’d decided to take on the challenge andbe the voice of reason in case Jimin got too agitated. It wasn’t easy, given how prone he was to anuncontrollable display of emotions, but it was worth it.

Atleast, that was what you thought.

Afew years ago, if someone were to tell you that you would date a man-child, youwould surely scowl and tell them to piss off. Because you didn’t need a guy wholiked to throw a tantrum nor restrict you in any way. However, fate just hadthe strangest way of setting you upwith your partner. And now that you already met one, you ought to maintain it.Besides, where else would you find such a devotedboyfriend like him? Someone thatdidn’t mind his pride as a man and loved to throw himself on to you at pretty much any given opportunity.Someone that didn’t pretend to be cold or aloof to make you chase him like oneof those foolish love-struck girls.

“Then,just tell them that you’re sick and stay at home with me.” he whined as though it was that easy to decline an invitationthat used to be a ‘small-talk’ amongst you. Your friends already had theirlives and lovers, thus making the reunion a difficult thing to do. And now thatyou were finally available, and onthe verge of going out, Jimin decided to act like a toddler?

“Ican’t, Jimin.” You took a deep breath to quell the bubbling anger in yourchest. Oh, how tempting it was tojust scream and curse at his selfishness. “This is the only day where all of my friends have a day off. Besides, it’s notlike I’d take long anyway. I’ll definitely be home around seven pm.”

Jiminbowed his head like a guilty child. For a moment, you’d thought that he finallysurrendered. But you were proven wrong when he stared at you dead in the eye. This time, there was nosign of pleading that you saw earlier.

“Ifyou leave,” he paused for dramatic effect, lips set into a thin line. “ThenI’ll hurt myself.”

Perhapsyou should’ve used those precious few seconds to prepare yourself for hearinghis next statement.

“Whatthe fuck, Jimin?!” you shouted, unable to conceal your shock anymore. “Are you crazy?! Did you even know what you were saying?”

Jiminsaid nothing. He didn’t even bat an eye at your exclamations. Usually, he wouldstart defending himself. But now, he just kept silent.

Andthat was scary because this was thefirst time he’d ever been trulyserious with you.

“Chim,I–” you sighed, massaging your throbbing temples. How did a simple question goto a heated fight like this? “I thinkyou should rest or something. Get your mind off of that ridiculous thought. If you’re jealous because Xiumin is there, thenI assure you I have no romanticfeelings for him anymore. I’m not some woman who would go behind my man’s back.You know me, Jimin. I’m loyal. Iwouldn’t date you if I still loved Xiumin.”

Thebell suddenly rang, shattering the growing tension between you. You ran a handthrough your hair and sighed.

“I’mout now. Don’t get close to knives or any sharp things. I’ll bring home somepizza later.” you mumbled before heading to the front door to greet yourguests.

Jiminlistened to the boisterous voices of your friends’ and your cheerful one. Younever spoke to him that way. Heck,you never even greeted him sojoyfully like that. Your tone was alwayscalm, resembling a mother that tried to pacify her wailing child. And your face… It never glowed when meeting him.

Wereyou happy with him? Were you just humoring him all along? Did you feel burdened being in a relationship withhim? He knew that it was wrong to attempt to manipulate you, but was it so wrongfor wanting to spend more time with you?

Youloved him, right?

Frowning,he went into the kitchen. You had told him to not touch any sharp things, but you had disobeyed his demand. So, why should he obey yours?

Jiminpulled a knife from the cutlery drawer and inspected the sharp edges. It wasnewly sharpened and had never been used before since you tended to use the sameones for eating. The blade reflected his forlorn face as he brought it to hisarm. Slowly, he pressed the tip against his skin and winced a little at theharsh sting. He dragged it along the once smooth surface and crisscrossed eachline. Blood began to trickle from the self-inflicted gashes, creating tinypools on the white floor.

Onlyone name floated in the iron smelledair when he finally gathered the courage to slit his wrist, signifying what might be the end of his life.

“[Name]…”

Yourstomach was churning.

Itwas odd since you hadn’t eaten anything,and yet you felt like wanting to puke. You stopped on your tracks, holding yourtummy with a pained frown. Maybe the meat you ate last night had reached itsexpiration? No, of course not. You clearlyremembered the expiry date when you went shopping two days ago, and it stated aweek from now.

Unlessthe factory purposefully put stale meat inside one of its products…?

“[Name],”a deep voice called your name. You glanced towards the speaker, finding Xiuminalready stood beside you. “Are you okay? You look constipated.”

Yousmiled wearily, paying no heed to the subtle tease. “Yeah, well. I don’t feelso good.”

Hecocked an eyebrow and tilted his head a little. “Why? We still haven’t eatenanything, though.”

“Right,but suddenly I just feel like vomiting.”

“Maybeit’s a sign of pregnancy?”

Lisasnapped her head towards you, eyes dilated and mouth slightly agape. It was themost scandalous expression you’d ever seen from her. “Eh, what’s this? [Name]’spregnant?”

“My,my. You’re growing old now, eh?”Beside her, Bambam wiggled his brows teasingly.

Youslapped Xiumin’s shoulder and shot a vicious glare to the snickering duo, heavyblush coated your cheeks. “Shut up, both of you! And Xiumin, how could you eventhink about that?”

Xiuminstifled a giggle at your flushing face. “Well, how else am I supposed to guessthen?” he questioned. “It was the only logicalexplanation.”

“Well,that wasn’t the only explanation,okay?” you retorted, crossing your arms at his quick - and honestly blasphemous- conclusion. “I might behaving a minor stomach-ache rightnow.”

“Areyou saying that you haven’t had sexwith Jimin yet?”

Bambam‘oh’-ed at the bold inquiry, while Lisa giggled against her palm.

“Xiumin!” you hissed, glowering in thescariest visage you could muster.

“Okay,okay, I’m just joking.” The said man wiped a tear that escaped from his eye andraised his hands in mock surrender. “But, seriously. Have you ever-?”

“No,”you immediately cut him off. “I don’t want to get a pre-marital pregnancy.”

“Oh,okay. That’s understandable.”

Youpeered at him. “Well, what about you?”

“Nah,we’re taking it slow.” Xiumin sighed and looked up at the darkening sky. “Don’twant to rush anything.”

“Butyou’re gonna propose her, right?”

“Later,when the time’s right.” He looked at you through his peripheral vision. “You?”

“Idon’t know,” you shrugged. Marriage was something that crossed your mindoccasionally, yet never had the guts to bring it up to Jimin in fear ofrejection. You didn’t even know if he wanted to have a family since he seemed content with just the two of you. “Someday, I guess. I’m not so sure.”

Xiuminhummed. “Just don’t forget to give me the invitation.”

Yourolled your eyes and smiled. “Obviously.”

Whenyou broke up with him, you feared that you might break your friendship too.Xiumin had been your best friend since elementary school, and you couldn’t bearto see him turning his back on you after years of being together. But you’dunderestimated his maturity because the following day after your separation, hehad texted you first. It then occurred to you that while you no longer datedhim, it didn’t mean you couldn’t still befriend him. Sometimes, you wonderedwhat you did in your past life to deserve such a mature friend like him. Someone that was willing to move on from the pastand tie back any loose strings that you’d accidentally cut back then.

Theringtone of your phone blared amidst the light chatters. Jennie stoppedchatting with her boyfriend, Kai and glanced through her shoulder.

“Yourboyfriend’s calling you already,[Name]?” she asked.

“Oh,uh,” you quickly fished out your phone from the bag and frowned at the caller.“No, it’s not him. Wait a minute.Hello?”

“[Name]-noona, where areyou?”Jungkook’s breathy voice rang your ear.

“I’mout with my friends in the city. Why?”

“Oh, um, well. There’sa, uh… bad news.”

Thecolor instantly drained from your face as every sound became white noise.“What? What do you mean ‘bad news’?”

“You see, Noona.” Jungkook coughed acrossthe call, and you resisted the urge to snap at him. “I came to your apartment to play video games with Jimin-hyung, but hewasn’t in the living room. So I searched for the whole place and I found himlying on the kitchen floor.”

“And?”you inquired impatiently.

“He was bleeding, Noona.There’s a lot of gashes in his arms, and I also saw a knife beside him. Thepolice suspected that he was trying to kill himself from the laceration in hisleft wrist. Luckily, the paramedics saved him in time. He’s in the hospitalright now.”

Ifyou weren’t already shocked, then you were frozen.Hollow eyes gazed forward as you attempted to digest his explanation. Jimin…tried to kill himself? But, why? Whydid he do that? Did he secretly havea depression? No, that couldn’t be it. He always asked you to coddle himwhenever he was feeling down in the dumps. And besides, he was the type to wearhis emotions on the sleeves. So, why?

Therealization dawned on you as you rushed to the hospital, ignoring your friends’frantic calls. When Jimin said that he would hurt himself if you left him, youhadn’t expected him to truly carry itout. But, of course, you were stupid to think that he was being plain ridiculous. When did he ever lie to you, anyway? He always kept his promises, and that wasone of the many traits that you liked from him.

Andnow, when the situation had turned grave, you finally realized the terrifying depth of his love.

“Jimin!”

Youburst into the room, indifferent to the noise you’d caused. Jimin lied on thebed with gauze covering his arms. Tears stung your eyes as you slowlyapproached him, still couldn’t get over the fact that he really did attempt suicide an hour ago.

“J-Jimin…”

Thesaid man fluttered his eyes open and beamed at the sight of you. “Baby, you’re back!” he croaked.

Younodded vehemently. “I’m here. I’m herenow, Jim,” you whispered, trying to reassure yourself that you hadn’t lost yourboyfriend yet.

“I’mglad,” he smiled softly; a simple yet meaningful action that pierced yourheart. “I thought… you wouldn’t come.I miss you.”

Cradlinghis bandaged hand, you gently kissed his knuckle. “Of course, I came. You’re myboyfriend, after all.”

Jimin’ssmile widened a fraction, the hopeful gleam returned to his drowsy eyes. “Then,will you promise me that you won’tabandon me again from now on?”

“Iwasn’t abandoning you, Jim–”

“Will you?”

Youstared down at his imploring face. You knew what he was doing, and you knew whathe wanted you to do. Sure, you might not be the sharpest person in the world,but you were aware of the manipulation people often attempted to project on toyou.

Andyet, you willingly let yourself be manipulatedby him. All because you loved him too muchto see him die on his own hands.

Butwas it really love, when you only felt pityand guilt at his current condition?Was it really love, when you merely humoredhim like a lowly servant you came tobe?

Youdidn’t know, but you nodded anyway.

“I will.”

Wereyou the victim here? Or was it him?

Nevertheless,the joyous smile on his face was worththe emotional baggage that you’d carried these past few years.

“Thankyou, baby.”

Andat least, he appreciated yourefforts. However wrong his tacticwas.

[lecoccolediamelieslimfit-blog]

5 Tips For Weight Loss

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I'll grant you a good illustration, my soninlaw who is 28 was had placed on a few pounds. Mountain Dew includes higher sugar content compared to other cola's. He did not have an idea regarding how could calories he had been swallowing with drinking 4 or 3 2-4 ounce bottles every day. If my daughter told me he had been astonished. Be cautious, you might be consuming greater than you might imagine.

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There are supplements which induce your system never to metabolize each of the meals that you eat, therefore it is passed from your own system and never stored as fat. There is mixture of both. As you start your hunt for the right diet pill, be more careful as a number might have detrimental effects in the physique.

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4. Monitor/Increase Your Action - No matter if you are taking dietpills or perhaps not to help with your weight loss, it's important to keep a routine exercise regime. That is effective not just for the weight loss, but also for the general wellbeing. In most ways we in the developed country possess a far more sedentary life style than our own bodies desire. Clearly it's easier for individuals in the age when people needed to be somewhat active only to live, yet it isn't necessarily healthy for individuals never to be more busy. Start and sustain some type of exercise plan regardless of what your age. Notably for its middleaged and elderly people exercise play with a very, very significant function in the degree of health insurance and staying within normal weight ranges.

5. Develop a Policy for Maintenance - Even if you should be taking weight loss supplements to help with your fat loss it is vital to bear in mind, that after you stop the pills, if you don't maintain a balance between your activity level and also the meals which you take in the weight will probably return. When it might take sometime to become used to an alteration in activity and diet, the rewards are really worth the effort and time to attain and keep a wholesome weightreduction.

[markpump64-blog]

Office Of Specialist Licensure As Well As Qualification

Mediator - What Are Its own Benefits?

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The value of being a good negotiator involves the criteria of trust in the arbitrator. Lots of people have a tendency to count on others without even understanding that they are actually relied on. Therefore, you need to have sturdy interaction capabilities. You ought to have the ability to connect in an appropriate method, without sounding overbearing or even creating it look like you are actually demanding. If you possess a sturdy command of the language, you can easily help communicate the best message as well as be sure that the 2 parties recognize just how to approach the problem in an effective way.

The absolute most important advantage of being actually a moderator is actually that you get to serve as a third party. This is a conveniences that you ought to think about since it could assist you get rid of many communication issues that you might face later on. People often tend to correspond and develop the communication network just when the individual that the interaction was planned for is not present. For instance, if you appear a presentation, you may known as an individual that may pay attention to your discussion to ensure he or she may give comments and reviews.

The need for trust fund is actually additionally significant due to the fact that the negotiator is actually expected to work as the "gatekeeper" of the communication channel. The arbitrator is actually the one that needs to determine whether the communication has actually gone well or otherwise. If the interaction went well, the moderator will definitely decide whether the events require to observe each other once more or otherwise. If the interaction was certainly not working out, the conciliator will store them accountable as well as aid them resolve the concern.

You are going to likewise come to participate in the duty of the "non-attached person". Considering that the mediator is certainly not directly associated with the conflict, she or he is commonly seen as an individual who is actually just seeing. Therefore, the moderator is contacted us to work as a neutral party in addressing disputes.

The relevance of being actually a negotiator relates to the qualities of a really good moderator as well as the advantages that you may cope possessing one. Currently, you recognize what a negotiator is actually and also just how to become one.

What's the Part of the Mediator in the Case of Divorce?

A divorce is a complicated and also difficult issue that asks for appropriate and purposeful conversation, however it requires to become taken truly through a conciliator. Breakup often means many modifications occurring in the lives of the parents and also kids. It could additionally suggest a splitting up from the significant other that had actually been actually with all of them for a very long time. All these are very tough to approve and to take care of. Additionally, the children might reside in the middle of emotion dropped without their parents. This is actually why it is important to seek the aid of an excellent mediator who will resolve in order to come to a fair and also helpful service to the concern.

Back then of separation, many married couples attempt to keep their kids after the divorce by using home after breakup insurance that is usually discussed by the partners of the marriage or by utilizing healthcare suppliers to take care of the children. Both the home after a separation and the property after divorce insurance policy is helpful if taken care of appropriately. However the fault for this is actually that the youngsters may find yourself living in inadequate circumstances as well as in danger of being mistreated or disregarded. This is actually why it is essential to take the little ones as well as the other partners seriously and also to care for them. In such situations, it is actually far better to undergo the residence after a breakup as well as the property after separation insurance policy to get what you really want and also to steer clear of losing your loan in an unnecessary remedy. If the children are actually involved in the arrangements between the parties then it is recommended to undergo the arbitration procedure as well.

After house after the divorce, it is necessary to also steer clear of any type of compulsion in the home after breakup particularly the use of control systems like physical violence as well as psychological adjustment. The scenario of splitting up may additionally cause clinical depression in the little ones if the moms and dads do certainly not alleviate them just as. This is actually why it is crucial to come close to a negotiator in such cases. The conciliator will provide his guidance on exactly how to make the moms and dads agree to a solution on the basis of mutual appreciation and also dignity. This can easily assist each parties in settling the instance in a beneficial way so that they may move forward on the manner of reciprocal regard as well as modesty.

What's the Role of the Mediator in the Case of Divorce?

What is actually the function of mediator in the case of divorce? If your partner is informing you that the kid is actually coping with another moms and dad and this other parent is actually effectively paid, and also it is actually achievable to obtain the home after divorce? This could be a very psychological minute for you and also your ex-spouse. It is actually constantly well to consult a conciliator who is actually qualified and also a professional. If you do certainly not recognize just how to engage in getting an arbitrator or even if you desire to learn more regarding exactly how to perform this after that the adhering to will certainly provide you some great advise on how to manage this circumstance.

In a divorce there are 3 major aspects to take a look at, one is the little one is actually dealing with yet another moms and dad, the second element is actually the department of the residential or commercial property as well as the 3rd is the concept of energy circulation. If the child is coping with one more parent, the arbitrator will take a seat along with the parents to figure out a means to get the child back alongside its birth parents. The youngsters can stay in the same residence, or even they can easily leave and also live with their moms and dads. There is actually likewise the complication of residential or commercial property. Currently the arbitration may not allow the events to settle on specifically what property is certainly not theirs. They may agree upon a split of your house and various other properties.

The guideline of electrical power circulation is probably the best important trait to decide on when your companion is actually pointing out that they do not desire the youngster back. If they have the capacity to obtain custody of the little one, they are actually mosting likely to find yourself getting the exact same volume of money as well as costs as you did. If they carry out certainly not have that perk, after that you need to ensure that you acquire your decent share of the money. One thing that is actually mosting likely to come up with the department of energy is who acquires kid support payments. You and your ex-boyfriend will definitely have to arrange the amount of money you will certainly pay for to make sure that each of you are getting the very same amount. Once that has been actually set it is well to handle your ex-boyfriend so that they are actually not tempted to rip off on you. That is actually the duty of conciliator when it comes to separation.

What is actually the Task of Conciliator on Children in Breakup?

When we discuss arbitration on kids in divorce, we may never envision that a person has to learn the duty of moderator on youngsters in divorce. Throughout a breakup, little ones are actually a really essential part of every loved ones, as well as if little ones are eliminated from their moms and dads, it is going to be a primary reduction for the children as well as they will also be a fantastic reduction to the entire family members. The mediation between both sides is actually taken into consideration to become some of the very best achievable processes when it involves restoring the really good relationships in between the divorcing parties. There are many main reasons as to why you require to learn the job of arbitrator on children in divorce. These causes are generally all of connected to the health and wellness as well as well-being of the little ones, and also it is actually a necessary consideration in an instance when the youngsters are actually involved.

An additional factor is actually that when the 2 edges have reached out to a trade-off, and also when they continue to connect along with each other as well as achieve a mutual understanding, there will definitely be actually a terrific end result of the arbitration on youngsters in separation. Among the important things that are actually taken into consideration to become some of the necessary things to discover through negotiators on little ones in breakup is the part of teenage years. It is actually simply throughout adolescence that teens begin to end up being individual as well as begin to face different situations that may be actually unsafe to them. This is also the grow older where the kids discover how to handle the different disputes that are faced through them in an ordinary technique, as well as this is actually likewise the age where they start to develop a schoolchild in the course of separation. This are going to be actually an essential procedure if both the parents are actually economically tough good enough to assist the learning of their youngsters throughout breakup.

Yet another reason concerning why one requires to know the task of conciliator on children in separation is actually that throughout the procedure of arbitration, moms and dads must consistently keep in mind that they ought to be completely removed from their little ones. It is necessary that while the procedure of mediation is actually taking place, parents should certainly not create their little ones knowledgeable about the reasons for separation, or they might experience uneasy during the course of the arbitration. They should remember that throughout arbitration, they need to just be focusing on the process and the concerns included, and also they ought to avoid from the courtroom procedures as well as take care of the youngsters's' complications during the arbitration method.

What is actually the Job of Negotiator in Adult Strategy?

In any type of circumstance including breakup, which one will be actually the absolute most beneficial to the individual requiring the info? Which one will help the individual securing the guidance? https://scheidingscenter.nl/scheiding-online/ are going to go with the 1st question yet you might be right. And also an excellent question will definitely receive the person the response you are trying to find. You can not just inquire what's the task of conciliator in the adult program?

There is a really necessary cause that this holds true and also we will definitely examine it along with our part as a moderator so as to guarantee that all gatherings are going to know what each of us may do and what the various other person needs to accomplish to possess a well-balanced relationship. Think about it for a moment. Which one do you believe would certainly aid you much more? The answer is both of them collaborating in harmony. Think about it and also decide.

There is actually a very crucial variable to think about and that is that the procedure of resolving in any sort of scenario is actually a two-way process where you as a negotiator need to bring the 2 gatherings with each other in order that they understand the good understanding and each other's needs. If the two of you do not know what each other demands at that point no quantity of arbitration can help. We as conciliators understand what needs to be carried out and our team may assist all of them obtain that objective. What's the duty of the mediator in the parental plan? This is something that needs to have to be accurately know due to the fact that it will definitely direct you in the process of resolving and help you en route to results.

What's the Role of Mediator in Retirement Pension Account?

What's the duty of conciliator in a retired life pension plan? A moderator will be present at every action of your lifestyle in the course of your lifetime. He is actually the one that will be actually sitting at your edge to offer you the opinions and tips pertaining to exactly how to be satisfied as well as how to attain excellence in your service or social life. He is certainly not certainly there to determine you, yet he will be providing you assistance on exactly how to get ahead and also just how to handle all things that arise.

When you are ready to move up in your career or even the institution, your arbitrator will be actually sitting with you as well as are going to offer you a direct on the complications that could crop up or your move to a higher role within the institution or organisation. You are certainly not meant to ask your conciliator too many inquiries that might start the ball rolling. He will simply tell you to sit and think prior to you flirt up the ladder of your profession. He is going to see to it that you perform certainly not slip and also fall on your way to obtaining results. To steer clear of any sort of potential problems, it is always really good to team up with a trusted arbitrator that will certainly listen closely to you as well as help you through providing you impartial suggestions.

Thus what's the task of negotiator in a retirement pension plan? We have actually referred to the truth that he will definitely benefit your firm. But what else should you learn about your arbitrator?

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[wisdomrays]

DESIRE TO RETREAT: Part 1

This transient material world attracts us greatly with the kind of life it imposes upon us, the many opportunities it presents, and its overwhelming daily engagements. As a reaction to these attractions, one may feel inclined to become isolated from society; a desire to retreat may surface. What should a person do in this situation?

Answer: Human nature and certain feelings that are ingrained in it are closely related and are in compliance with the attractions of the world. This is an undeniable reality. Thus, there are truly so many different things which invite one to the world, to its tempting presence that is centered around fancies.

Many factors invite people to the world: one’s carnal soul, needs, passions, desires, Satan, the superficial sweetness of the world, bad friends, and the like, while those inviting to the Hereafter and eternal life are few. Patriotic feelings and efforts will increase this number. If you act otherwise and silence them, and help the many, you will be a companion of Satan.

The attractions of this world constantly appeal to human beings, to certain sensory faculties ingrained in their nature, to their inner and external feelings and keep inviting them. In addition, as this aspect of the world and the reward of the Hereafter are opposites, we can also say that those attractions which invite people to the world are also factors that divert us from the eternal beauties of the Hereafter.

Etymology of the word dunya (world)

In fact, when the etymologic structure of the word dunya is studied, it can be seen that there is a serious relation with the structure of the word and its attractions. According to scholars, this word is either derived from the root dunuw, which means “being near,” or danaeh, which means being low, mean, or vile. If we accept that the word comes from the root dunuw, then the word dunya means “the nearest one,” whereas the next life to follow after this near one is called the akhirah (Hereafter). The word ukhra, which means “the other,” is also used for the Hereafter, as opposed to this world. Accordingly, the world is the immediate realm, the one near to us, and the Hereafter is the next one beyond. Therefore, something people find in their immediate surroundings has a greater effect on them and takes them under influence; it bewitches and attracts them. Thus, people are close enough to the world to be enchanted and come under its spell. Therefore, we call this dunya, meaning the nearest realm. When we examine the word dunya as a derivation from danaeh, then akhirah means that which is higher and dunya means lowly, or vile. When both meanings are combined, dunya means “a lowly thing that is near to people.”

Three facets of the world

On the other hand, it would not be correct to solely consider and evaluate the world according to its material aspect that appeals to our physical nature and fancies. The world has three facets. Accordingly, the first facet is concerned with the Names of Almighty God and demonstrates their inscriptions and functions as mirrors. In this respect, we can view the world as an exhibition for the Divine art, a book of reflection composed by the laws of creation, a huge vehicle, a port that opens on the knowledge and love of God. As a consequence of all these, the world can be viewed as a bay that allows us to contemplate Creator deeply. As far as this facet is concerned, the world serves as a stage that reveals the infinite beauties of God and their manifestations, and is a means for love for Him to flourish. In this respect, the world is not contemptible, but rather is worthy of love.

The second facet is concerned with the Hereafter. As stated by Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, the world is an arable field for the Hereafter. It is the ground that is to be prepared for the Hereafter through good deeds; it is the tillage of Paradise through which we can attain eternal happiness.

The world is worthy of love from the perspective of both of these facets. It is with these facets that the world becomes a heavenly stairway by which believers ascend toward the Divine.

As for the third, it is concerned with the passing fancies of people. This facet of the world is material, and it is transient and deceptive. Loving this facet of the world diverts people from God and from the purpose for which they have been created, taking them to perdition. Thus, this third facet of the world is closely interrelated with human nature, their desires and fancies. If people do not use their free will against this facet of the world, if they do not satisfy the feelings in their nature within the limits allowed by their Creator, but rather give in to the heedless atmosphere of their desires, they then face the great danger of failing the test in this world.

In two of the three conditions it is more likely that we may go astray. One can find the truth, walk toward it and then embrace it. In other words, if a person does not use their free will correctly, does not meet the requirements of guidance, but act heedlessly, it is certain that they will go astray.

Secondly, idling one’s life away can also lead to misguidance. The third possibility is that one good use of the free will entrusted to us, exerting oneself in this direction and being rewarded with divine guidance. As can be seen, there is only one way for deliverance. However, if one does not use this opportunity well, there are two different ways by which they can fall into misguidance. Thus, a person’s finding the truth and maintaining the straight path require serious efforts. This difficult task can be compared to rising through the layers of the atmosphere and reaching outer space by freeing oneself from the gravitational pull of the earth. Without a doubt, this requires a certain amount of energy. On the other hand, one does not need to make any effort to stay on the ground; even the dead are able to do that. Instead of hurling bodies away as it revolves, the earth attracts them toward itself. And in the long run, as the laws of creation operate, the earth makes these bodies resemble itself by having them decompose and becoming earth. In a similar way, we need to be equipped with the necessary spirituality to help us overcome the pull of the world so that we can complete our spiritual journey in the realm of the heart and spirit. A person should acknowledge, from the very beginning, the interrelation between this third facet of the world and human desires and fancies, thus becoming aware that this is the dominant aspect Only then can an individual carry out what is required of human free will, only then can they see the beautiful facets of the world that declare God and the Hereafter, and only then can they exert a continuous effort. Otherwise, it is all too easy to be overcome by the pull of the world and to plummet to earth.

[regenerategums-naturally]

Regenerate Gums Naturally

Whenever you ask people about dental care, most people simply know the basics. But, once you are oblivious of what dental treatments truly entails, you'll be putting yourself up for a number of problems. To discover how you can care for your teeth exactly the perfect way, read this article. For more info about How To Regrow Gums Naturally?

There isn't much use in brushing your teeth if you are not doing it the correct way. You need to also ensure that you're brushing for two weeks. If you are unsure of whether you're brushing your teeth correctly, don't be scared to ask your dentist.

Regrowing Gums Receding

First thing you want to do is get in touch with your dentist. Once you get in contact together, rinse your mouth out with warm water. Then work with a cold compress on the location to decrease the swelling and decrease any pain.

Try to see your dentist once every half a year. Only by taking care frequently can you maintain huge problems at bay, based on your situation. Also, when you move regularly, the better you will feel at your dentist office. For those who have a dental emergency or desire some complicated procedure done, this is a very good thing.

Get apple cider vinegar. Gargle with it at the morning prior to brushing. It helps you remove stains on your teeth.  This helps whiten them naturally. Bacteria killing is another advantage of this at-home natural remedy. Just be sure to do it prior to brushing, however perhaps not in lieu of brushing.

How To Grow Back Receding Gums Naturally?

Consistently use toothpaste that comprises fluoride. There are not many toothpastes available that do not contain fluoride, but some of the newer organic toothpastes do not. Fluoride is essential for strong and healthy teeth.  Therefore, in the event that you'd like to make use of a natural toothpaste that does not contain fluoride, use it after you brush with a fluoride toothpaste.

Brush your teeth twice a day.   If doing so is not possible, make sure you at least brush after getting and again, after going to sleep. Regularly brushing your teeth is one of the easiest ways to stop tooth decay.

It is vital to make matters interesting when teaching young kids how to care for their teeth. Let them select their very own tooth tooth paste and tooth brush so that they will soon be worked up about deploying it. Children have a tendency to respond better once you truly offer them choices and allow them to produce their own dental hygiene decisions, within reason.

Regrow Receding Gums

Never assume that bypassing your dental appointment is fine. Everybody else should begin getting dental treatments whenever they are six months . Dental check-ups ought to be done every 6 weeks after. This is true for kids, teenagers, adults and seniors. Everyone else needs to see a dentist twice a year past their first birthday.

As soon as it's not just a good idea for kids to chew on the hard plastic of a toothbrush, it's okay if they chew on a little on the bristles. Yes, it is important to brush the teeth, however even light chewing can remove some buildup. Also, kiddies chew in it to get acquainted with them. They will like the brush more when they have been allowed to familiarize themselves .

However, you aren't going to knock out all of the bacteria lurking in your mouth with simple flossing and brushing. This is the reason it's necessary to follow up your brushing and flossing using using an anti-bacterial mouthwash.

A wonderful tip in regards to dental hygiene will be in order to avoid extreme temperature fluctuations.  This also means you shouldn't eat hot and cold foods together.

How To Grow Back Gums Naturally?

If you have gum disease, you should postpone any plans to experience cosmetic dental procedures.  For the most effective outcome, your teeth and gums must be healthy.  Otherwise, you will end up more prone to infections, or may need to replicate the task. Steer clear of any dentist who's prepared to take a chance in your own health by risking this.

To avoid serious and possible permanent injury to your teeth, never use them for almost any activity aside from chewing the food that you eat. You run the risk of chipping or cracking your teeth if you utilize your teeth to start a bundle, then pull something that is stuck or crack open nutshells.

When you would like to eat something between meals, avoid sugary snacks.  These will simply leave your teeth open to cavities and decay. Instead, have fruit or vegetables, and maybe whole grain carbohydrates. All these are better for your overall health in addition to your dental situation, however don't forget to brush afterwards!

Grow Back Gums Naturally

When brushing your teeth, make certain you're using a soft bristled toothbrush.  You may be tempted to pick a medium or hard bristled brush. However, these are harsher on your gums and could lead to bleeding. As an alternative, use a soft brush and be sure to brush your teeth for at least 2 minutes.

Watch your dentist for check ups and cleanings regularly. It is encouraged that you see a dentist every 6 months to have your teeth cleaned. This can help you prevent cavities and catch any that you have early on. This could save you from a bigger problem with your teeth later on.

Purchase the flossing gear that include a selection. This can help you to get into areas that floss and your toothbrush have trouble reaching. The further that you just do to keep your teeth at the very best shape possible that the fitter that they will soon be once you grow old.

While this article has proven to you, dental hygiene involves more than the fundamentals that you were taught as a child.  By putting the ideas above to goof usage, you should have no problem caring for one's teeth.

Receding Gums Grow Back

Regardless of what's the main reason for your gum recession, it's clear to get rid of the most important problem to attain any level of gum regrowth.  If a gum recession is more serious, you might like to consult a periodontist. It's not directly linked with age but broadly speaking it's a more common condition in adults over age 40. It's a frequent problem in adults over age 40, but it may also occur beginning with the age of a teenager, or just around the age of 10. It sometimes happens slowly, therefore it's important to have a great look in your gums and teeth daily. It normally starts to show up between the age of thirty five to forty.

Home treatments for Receding Gums Receding gum is a substantial tooth disorder.  As a consequence substitute solutions like natural all-natural home remedy will surely operate most useful together with your regular medical care. Nearly all the natural and all-natural home remedy have been actually fact user friendly and significantly useful. Getting a receding gums cure is much less hard as you could believe. You asked for an all-natural treatment for diminishing gums, and I hope this short article can be helpful!  Getting oil-based, this organic treatment for diminishing gums is tremendously powerful, because it stays in the mouth and down beneath the gums after brushing.

The way to deal with Receding Gums Step one in treatment would be to determine what factors are contributing to this recession, and they are sometimes lessened or, even if at all possible, expunged. 

Regrowing Gums Tissue

Medical care treatment could possibly be taken in mind a secure and right decisions to alleviate receding gums. It can prevent or reverse the process of gum recession in case begun at an early stage.  Another common treatment for gum recession would be using antibiotics. It's incredible how many people today are employing the incorrect treatment for gum recession. After that, you can use the perfect gingival recession treatment at home to fix the damage and also to improve your gum's health.

[yeoldontknow]

Meteorite

Author’s Note: HELLO!! WELCOME TO CHANVEMBER!! this is the second part of his Did You See? story. You do not need to read the others in the series to understand this, however you will have a nice time if you read the other members. Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (ox; female) Genre: fluff; romance; au Summary: While on a weekend getaway, Chanyeol wakes you up asking to show you something. Soon, you realize you have another reason to be awake. Rating: PG-13 Warnings: light swearing Word Count: 5,406

MYeol[1:49 AM]: baby MYeol[1:49 AM]: baby MYeol[1:49 AM]: hey MYeol[1:49 AM]: :( hey MYeol[1:50 AM]: wake up

It’s vibration of the phone against the nightstand, demanding and insistent, that wakes you up, pulling you slowly from sleep. Eyes tightly shut in a petulant act of defiance, you send a curious, needy hand across the mattress, seeking the comforting warmth of Chanyeol’s skin. Immediately, a deep set pout sets along your lips, brow furrowing at the lack. Beside you, the mattress is cold, unfamiliar, lacking the shape and indent of his body, and wholly unlike your bed at home. You resist the urge to whine, bewildered and confused, wondering how the loss of his arm around your waist did not wake you first. Wrapping yourself tightly in the blankets, you sigh into the pillow, knowing nothing holds you quite as strongly as he.

MYeol[1:50 AM]: countess! MYeol[1:50 AM]: love MYeol[1:50 AM]: sunshine :( MYeol[1:51 AM]: countess wake up

Again, the phone vibrates, a loud and penetrating noise that seems to echo throughout the quiet room. Rolling onto your back, you open your eyes and stare at the ceiling, gritting your teeth. Waiting for your eyes to adjust, it takes work to ignore the unfamiliarity of the room, and the way the darkness seems to press against your bones. The furniture assumes irregular, impossible shapes, objects that are not yours but surround you just the same, looming over you as though they demand your care and attention. Without Chanyeol’s calm and even breath against your hair and neck, you find every space he does not occupy uncomfortable and unnecessary.

It’s late, too late, for someone to be texting you. It is late and everyone knows you spent most of the day driving to the cabin, getting away from the chaos of life and the noise and the responsibilities that often make you feel far from Chanyeol. Everyone knows, and therefore no one should be talking to you, and, yet, your phone continues to ring.

With a high pitched noise of annoyance, you stomach the anger and reach for your phone, assuming it could likely be an emergency. As soon as you see the sender, you settle slightly but roll your eyes with a huff.

Y/N[1:51 AM]: literally what the fuck MYeol[1:51 AM]: MY ENTIRE HEART !!!! MYeol[1:52 AM]: there she is!

A smile pulls at your cheeks as you struggle to see the screen, squinting beneath the cast of brightness. Always, he has an endless list of affectionate terms for you, reflecting the intensity of his endearment to you by the extravagant expression of his language. Each one is different from the last, sometimes in different languages, and all declaring his limitless devotion to you. His words make you feel important, treasured, needed. Never in your life have you ever felt so incomprehensibly wanted.

Y/N[1:52 AM]: why arent you sleeping Y/N[1:53 AM]: why arent you letting ME sleep MYeol[1:53 AM]: come out to the terrace baby Y/N[1:54 AM]: what why? MYeol[1:55 AM]: because that’s where i am! Y/N[1:55 AM]: ...is it emergent that i be there Y/N[1:55 AM]: as opposed to being here Y/N[1:56 AM]: warm Y/N[1:56 AM]: cozy MYeol[1:56 AM]: youre always warm baby MYeol[1:56 AM]: and yes its important! Y/N[1:57 AM]: important like the time you woke me up at 5 in the morning to tell me you loved me?

This happened once - although, now you smile at the knowledge that’s not entirely true. It has happened many times, he does this often, but always you recall the first time, the most pure and sacred.

The sun had not yet fully broken over the horizon, smears of red and gold tainting the shadows of the clouds as Chanyeol whispered softly at your ear. Each word was punctuated with a light kiss until you woke up, bleary eyed and confused, regarding him patiently as worry started to bloom in the tips of your fingers.

When you asked what was wrong, he simply stroked his thumb along the length of your cheek, inching closer along the pillow until his forehead met yours. Against your lips and moving his hand down your neck and breasts to grip your hip, he simply said ‘I’m so in love with you,’ voice small and sounding a little lost. You leaned up to kiss him, sucking his bottom lip between yours and relishing the way his moan cascaded down your throat, content and consumed by love like a solar flare.

You think about this moment a lot - about the way he said it, the way he looked at you; the way it felt like the most important thing he had ever said in his life; the way his eyes lit up when you said it back and the way he looked deep into your soul, seeking other parts of you he had yet to touch, as though there were any at all.

The way you said it back and wanted to stay awake with him, saying it over and over and over.

MYeol[1:57 AM]: hey :( MYeol[1:57 AM]: that was the most important MYeol[1:57 AM]: like the MOST important Y/N[1:58 AM]: i know *happy smile face INSERT* Y/N[1:58 AM]: but if thats what this is about id rather you come back here and do it again MYeol[1:59 AM]: TEMPTING Y/N[1:59 AM]: do it Y/N[1:59 AM]: i want you to touch me MYeol[1:59 AM]: countess MYeol[2:00 AM]: i always want to touch you MYeol[2:00 AM]: but thats not what this is about Y/N[2:00 AM]: what is it then? MYeol[2:00 AM]: just come out here baby Y/N[2:01 AM]: ugh Y/N[2:01 AM]: youre killing me smalls MYeol[2:02 AM] - Message sent with Shooting Star: hurry <3

A gust of wind hits your chest as you push open the door to the terrace, enough to make you wrap yourself tighter in the flannel blanket, shivering. Your motions are awkward, body still stiff and aching from the long drive and skin still tingling from the leather of the rental mercedes. Leaning against the doorframe, you study Chanyeol as he sits among a pile of blankets and pillows. On his knees, he toys with a long, white telescope, the shade matching the puffy jacket bundled around him. Something about the coat makes him appear small, dwarfed either by the size and strength of the interior feathers or by the silver light of the moon. Like this, he appears ethereal, a reverent thing that pulls a hum of adoration from your chest.

Interrupted by the accidental noise of you, he immediately turns to face you, cocking his head to the side to take you in. For a few seconds, he regards you, suddenly at peace as he lets your gaze settle deep beneath his skin. Rising to a stand, he moves towards you quickly, long strides bringing him to you with his hands extended, eager for the feel of you against his palms. As soon as he reaches you, he snakes his hands beneath the blanket, pulling you to him, desperate to hold you and comfort himself with the taste of you. Wrapping one strong arm around your waist, he splays his hand across your back as he kisses you, slow and passionate, languidly matching the movement of your lips against his.

He takes his time kissing you, like always. Like he’s careful, like this contact matters - like he’s still awed by the very flavour of you. You respond in kind, melting into the strength of his chest, slightly overcome and helpless.

This kind of intensity, you think, is normal for the both of you. You think you’d starve if it was not this way.

He hesitates before pulling away, rising to his full height to rest his nose in the crown of your head, taking in a long inhale. With the blanket pinned between your bodies, you slip your hands beneath his jacket, fisting in the cotton of his thermal. Tension in your spine and shoulders eases as though soothed simply by his touch, eyes feeling heavy once more as you nuzzle into the crook of his neck. You could quite easily fall asleep like this, standing up and pressed against his heartbeat, silent and serene. Your breathing slows, as if in agreement, and you hear him chuckle above you, knowing.

Neither of you sleeps well when you are apart, the last moments of your sleep, neither restorative nor truly restful.

He steps back with a hum, smoothing out your pout with his thumb and smiling when you kiss the pad of his finger, a mindless action that makes a flush rise beneath his cheeks.

‘Did you make me come out here just to kiss?’ you yawn, voice thick with exhaustion.

Chanyeol shakes his head, eyes fixed on yours in delight. ‘Nope, although I’ll admit that’s a bonus.’

Taking your hand, he leads you to the blanket, and you find you are distracted by the sensation of his palm against yours. His fingers press tightly into the grooves between your knuckles, guarding you and keeping you by his side. As you approach the blankets, you see he’s made a small fort, a smattering of electric candles lining the edge of the terrace. A bag of marshmallows and one bar of chocolate sit on the blanket, makeshift s’mores, without a fire, ready to be made should you want them.

‘When did you set all this up?’ you ask, disbelieving as you regard the soft cushions before looking up at him with wide eyes.

‘While you were sleeping,’ he says softly, so as not to disturb the night. ‘Obviously,’ he adds, teasing.

Rolling your eyes you, grin. ‘Be nice,’ you whine softly, though your affection for him taints the effectiveness. ‘I’m still groggy. I didn’t even know you packed a telescope.’

At this he nods, stepping onto the blanket to settle on a cushion, pulling you down with him as he rubs circles into your knuckles. ‘I came up here a week ago and brought it. I wanted this to be a surprise.’

‘Well,’ you begin, getting comfortable and pushing your seat closer to his side. ‘I’m certainly surprised.’

Chanyeol opens the side of his jacket, welcoming you to his side and tucking you beneath his arm. For a long while, you both remain silent - you admiring his profile while he admires the sky. His eyes scan the vastness, seeking something in the dark, something beyond your understanding and comprehension, so instead you focus on the way heaven seems to play with his eyelids. The moonlight illuminates him, makes him glow and burn, the embers of something extraordinary tucked into the corners of his lips, a secret for you to discover and to taste.

Like this, you think you don’t really need speech or words or very much at all. All you need is his warmth and the night, the mysteries of them both fascination enough for a lifetime.

‘What are we observing tonight.’ You whisper the question into his shoulder, eyes catching the way he twirls his phone within his hand.

Turning to face you, he smiles somewhat sheepishly, boyish and bashful. ‘There’s a meteor shower tonight. We should be north enough to see it.’ Facing the sky once more, he suddenly appears distant and thoughtful. ‘Hopefully the sky stays clear.’

Smirking, you narrow your eyes. ‘Is that why you wanted to rent a cabin this weekend?’

‘Partly,’ he admits, glancing down into his lap. ‘Mostly because this lake is special.’ Facing you once more, he softens, biting his lip as you piece together what he’s trying to say. ‘I couldn’t get cabin eighteen though.’

Years ago, back when things with Evan were over but still raw, when Chanyeol spent his nights holding you without kissing you, the lake house was where you first realized you might want or need him beyond comfort or healing. That whole weekend, in cabin eighteen, you had viewed him as the sun, something you felt and anticipated before you really saw him, before he had even entered the room. He was loud and he was playful, a bright and wild thing that somehow put hope behind your heart and taught you how to breathe.

When he called you down to the dock at midnight on the last night of your stay, you put your feet in the still water and sat beside him, the centimeters between your bodies feeling like miles. He asked how you were feeling, and it took you several seconds to realize he was asking about Evan and not how you felt about him. You’d forgotten Evan that whole week, forgotten that there was anyone other than Chanyeol, and so you lied.

You said you were moving on, not that you’d finally learned to let him go. You said it still hurt, which was true, but it was not Evan that made you hurt. The joints within your fingers and arms had learned how to ache for Chanyeol, somehow over the course of seven days he had taught your body to yearn - to yearn deeply and to yearn desperately - and you did not think it was possible to crave this intensely. You said you were learning to breathe, which was true, but only because you were learning how to breathe around him, rather than breathe through a person.

You said you wanted him to stay with you, and that was the only whole truth you offered him, the only truth you fully meant.

‘I miss that dock,’ you mutter absentmindedly through your remembrance.

Leaning forward to press his forehead against yours, he closes his eyes and hums. ‘Me too.’

From the corner of your eye, light blooms.

It happens so quickly for a moment you think you may have imagined it, that simply looking at Chanyeol so closely has made your eyes begin to hurt, specks of light starting to form in your irises. But it happens again, and again, and when you turn to the sky you see quick bursts of light, erupting from the vast expanse of night, leaving streaks that fade as quickly as they appeared.

‘Chan, look!’

He pulls away from you, eyes wide and alight with excitement. Pulling the telescope closer, he leans forward to the lens and releases a laugh. Through the night, it echoes, the sound of his voice leaving scars among the clouds and making your hands clench in an effort to remain in your lap. You’re full of him, full of him and brimming over, unsure of where else in your heart to make space for him.

‘Look through here,’ he says, moving to the side to give you room.

Angling yourself to look through the lens, you see the moon. The moon and all its craters, the holes in its surface made by time and catastrophe, rendering it into something magnificent. You see the stars as the shoot across the sky, falling and burning and dying, rapturous as they do so.

As you watch impossible things learn to die, you remember the way impossible things come alive, the memory of gold and green behind the plane window stirring in your heart. He woke you to see something extraordinary, just as he has done tonight, choosing to share with you the most holy of experiences. And he was dazzling then, just as he is now, looking at you and the sky and back again as though it is you who holds all the secrets of the universe.

As though you are just as special.

‘This is the biggest exhibition,’ he says, interrupting your thoughts.

Pulling away from the telescope, you regard him quizzically before he continues.

‘The entirety of the universe is a museum.’ For a few moments, he watches the stars move across the sky, leaving and leaving, before looking at you, too excited for this hour of the night. ‘Do you ever think about that?’

Cocking your head to the side, you urge him onward. ‘Think about what?’

Reaching a delicate hand for the telescope, he leans forward, studious and bright. ‘Humanity has been looking up at the sky since the dawn of time, trying to rationalize that we’re small, we’re so small.’ He smiles at nothing and no one, pleased with the mere thought of existence, bearing witness to the extravagance of the world. ‘The sky is a history of touches and gazes, of eyes trying to touch greatness. The sky watches us too, becoming a history of life itself. Aren’t we so lucky we get to see it? And live it?’

Seemingly overcome, you lean forward, running your hand through the thickness of his hair. ‘You’re deep tonight,’ you offer, though it’s not entirely out of character. He’s usually like this with you because you allow him to be.

Chanyeol pulls back from the lens once more, nuzzling into your touch with a small noise of happiness. ‘I’m just excited to share this, I guess.’

‘Don’t hold back for me, please.’ Moving your hand forward to run your thumb along the shell of his ear, down along his cheeks, you take a deep inhale, smelling his cologne on the wind. ‘Never hold back,’ you tell him, somewhat breathless.

Back before he was yours, before he was yours to touch and to kiss and to hold, you had things to say and to teach, far too many things living behind your teeth. They were disorganized thoughts, words and words brought forward to your tongue simply because you loved him and did not know to live between the silence. In France, you gave him a church; in Italy, you gave him art, both times scared that you would give yourself away if the world around you was not filled. Now that he is yours, you bite your tongue, willingly holding back and gladdened that he speaks, exposing the inner-workings of his mind.

Even before he had kissed you, you knew he was brilliant, wise beyond his years and thoughtful, thinking through and between the world to learn and master it. You knew he was brilliant but you never knew how much he refused to give, holding himself hostage in the fear of saying too much.

At this, you laugh, knowing that you were very much the same, opposite halves of the same whole.

‘Everyone prays to God in different names, or in different words,’ he continues, speaking to the moon. ‘In Switzerland, seeing a meteor meant witnessing the power of God. In ancient Greece, they started praying to the stars, too. They were venerated objects, one even held a place at Apollo’s temple in Delphi.’

‘The myth of Cronos,’ you nod, remembering the story.

At this, he turns back to you, leaning into your touch and searching your face for more of your untold truths. ‘The story of how the Earth will outlive man.’

‘How do you pray?’

You aren’t sure why you ask the question, or why it even enters your mind, but you ask him, voice small and thin, hoping for more to learn.

Chanyeol takes his time answering you, pushing between the words and the meaning, falling down and through to your heart. He reaches up to hold your hand, pulling it down to rest in his lap, suddenly serious and suddenly pious.

‘By kissing you.’

He’s earnest as he says it, meaning every word, but something about it feels so impossible you cannot help but laugh. Immediately you blush, leaning forward to hold both his hands in reassurance that you do not mean to be cruel.

‘Fuck off,’ you giggle softly. ‘That’s both too smooth and not smooth at all.’

He nods, laughing at himself as he stares at your entwined hands. ‘I’m ashamed of me for saying it, don’t worry.’

‘Hey,’ you whisper, wiggling slightly to catch his attention.

When he looks at you, your heart breaks, or maybe it builds, restructuring itself to match a nebula that belongs to him alone. He is your cosmos, you think, whole universes living and dying in the cauldron of your heart, made cosmic and interstellar simply because he loves you.

‘Kiss me,’ you ask, though you do not phrase it as a question, knowing that you don’t need to.

Laughing, he releases both of your hands, lifting his own to cup your cheeks. A moment of hesitation follows, a moment in which you lean forward only slightly, exhaling into the air as your rest your hands on his thighs. A moment in which he smiles and smiles, having his fill of you until his blood burns hot and his tongue begs to kiss himself clean.

‘Kiss me,’ you ask again, voice coming as a soft breath though your desperation is palpable.

This time, he does not hesitate, pressing his lips to yours with a greed that makes your fingers dig into the flannel of his bottoms. He groans into your open mouth, sucking at your lips before gently pressing his tongue to yours, a greeting and a request for access to the cavern of your waiting heart. Slowly, as though careful with your own touch, your hands glide along his thighs, up to his sides, letting yourself kiss and be kissed while your palms make vows along the hem of his thermal.

He, you think, is your venerated object, a thing of holiness you wish to hold and cherish until the last of your ashes bleed across the earth. You pray by loving him, by kissing promises against his tongue and lips, signing them away with each beat of your heart. Beneath his clothes, his skin becomes the paper of a book you’ve already taken to memorizing, nails tracing the waistband of his pants and knowing exactly where to touch him first.

He pulls away from you then, letting his parted lips linger just beyond yours, breath coming in a hiss.

Opening your eyes slightly to see the way his eyelashes splay against his cheeks, you smile. ‘Sorry my hands are cold, baby.’

‘It’s ok,’ he breathes, struggling to even out the rhythm of his heart. ‘We can go back inside.’

Steadying himself, he drops his hands to hold yours, lifting them from his sides and putting them together, rubbing them to give them heat. He blinks several times, clearing the fog of lust inside his head. Glancing down between his legs, the lift of his pants is obvious, his semi-hard state giving him away. ‘I’m just glad we saw this.’

‘What about the s’mores?’ you pout, nodding towards the marshmallows.

‘We can take them inside,’ he smirks. ‘Eat them in bed.’

‘Want me to make cocoa?’

He nods, sighing. ‘Not what I had in mind, but yeah, let me help you.’

Chanyeol comes to a stand, smiling up at the sky once more before reaching down to take your hands and pull you upwards. Quickly, he presses a kiss to your nose before moving to clean the blanket.

‘Leave this set up.’ Gently, you place a hand on his shoulder, stopping his motions. ‘I want to do it again tomorrow night. Show me the stars.’

A devilish smirk pulls at his lips as he comes to a stand once more. ‘I can show you some stars right now.’ To prove his point, he waggles his eyebrows, and you cannot help but laugh.

Shaking your head, you move toward the door. ‘Come on, Ricco Suave.’

As you make your way into the kitchen, it strikes you how familiar you are with the space, as though you have lived there before, as though this space somehow belongs to you. Chanyeol fits into the house in a way that makes you long for a shared home, to see him move through your own place with a permanence that lasts beyond a night or a week. As you reach for two mugs, you watch instead, thinking on how he has part ownership of your home and how you think it was his, really, before you even moved in.

You want him to stay, you know, you always wanted him to stay. Now, as you fill a pan with some milk you think it may be time to ask.

Stirring the milk as it heats, you feel Chanyeol come behind you, arms wrapping around your waist to hold you against his chest.

‘Let me do it,’ he says into your neck before pressing a chaste kiss to the tendon. ‘I woke you. You’re tired. I don’t want you to get burned.’

Eyes fluttering closed, you hum, relishing the way his affection sends electricity down your skin and raising goosebumps along the flesh. ‘I’m awake now.’

‘Okay,’ he complies, squeezing you a little tighter, ‘but I want to make it for you.’

Turning in his arms, you fix him with a playful, teasing stare. ‘Well, say that. I’ll put some music on instead.’

Slipping out of his grip, you hear him release a small whine as you make your way into the living room. The record player was an additional surprise that came with the cabin, neither included in cabin eighteen nor mentioned in any of the details on the Air BnB ads. Chanyeol had clapped his hands with delight when he saw it, said it suited you and this trip and called it romantic. Carefully he ran his fingers over the plastic cover, stroking the object as though it were something sacred, but you merely said that it was the record collection that really mattered.

The needle matters, the turntable matters, but the most important thing, to you, is that music that gets chosen. Now, as you bend to see the shelf below the turntable, you know you needn’t have worried. It takes you no time at all to find a record that suits your mood, heart almost clenching at the sight of the album. It’s one of your favourites, one that often reminds you of Chanyeol, and you’re glad you get to hear it now, its notes rising into the atmosphere like smoke.

As the record begins to play, you hear Chanyeol release a noise of pleasure from the kitchen, your own body starting to sway. From where you stand in the living room, the open floor plan allows him to watch you, his hand languidly twirling the milk as his eyes traverse the landscape of your body. His gaze is heated, and you feel a flush begin to spread across your chest as though controlled by his gaze alone. So too do you watch him, the way the music settles over his shoulders, softening his features as it plays.

Months in and every time you look at him, your breath falters. It happened often, for years it has been happening, but you assumed it was because it hurt - looking at him hurt. It hurt to see him and know that you could not touch him, not the way you wanted to. It hurt to see his his hands, and know they were not yours to hold. It hurt to see the sun as it played with his skin, knowing that both things were ephemeral, easily lost as soon as you turned away from it.

Now, your breath stops because he is yours, and because you know how it feels to hold him. You know how it feels to kiss him and to hear him sigh in pleasure. You know how it feels to count his breath and know that it is even because he can feel you. Now, you know that devotion hurts just as much as loss, even if they are often mutually exclusive.

Part of you wonders if it will always be this way, if the nerves along your synapses will always ache wherever, and whenever he is not, pained without the gentle caress of his soul to ease them. You wonder, but, inherently you know the answer is a resounding, irrevocable yes.

Chanyeol turns off the stove as if overcome, the click of the knob making the blood in your veins turn to fire. In only a few strides he reaches you, hands moving up your hips as you dance.

‘Dance with me,’ you breathe, leaning up on your toes to capture his lips in a slow, languid kiss.

Dropping your blanket to the floor, your own hands walk up the length of his spine, letting yourself be held against the strength of his chest. It’s intuitive, the way he guides you and the way you follow him, as though it’s the only natural choice your body knows how to make. The beat of his heart becomes your metronome, his voice has he hums along with the song a wave of longing that crashes down and into your muscles, making you hold onto him a little tighter for fear of capsizing.

Moving with him, you nestle into his neck, once more taking in his scent. It’s your comfort and your aromatherapy, the musky notes in the cinnamon that gets carried on his skin. At night and in dreams, when you cannot smell him, you find you are anxious, wrought with a tension that feels like iron within your bones. When you awake without him, the world becomes blurry and this becomes your perception of the world - a blurry and faded things, a thing not worth seeing, as if you have never seen clearly at all.

It’s difficult, you think, to rationalize who you are now, with Chanyeol, alongside the person you were with Evan, the person you have always known yourself to be. You are not a needy person. You have never desired, for any extended period of time, a body beside yours in bed, finding that you are selfish with the sheets and prefer not to be touched, not even accidentally, in the night. With Chanyeol, it is as if you were never this person at all, lost and lonely when he is not there to hold you, anxious when he does not touch you, and bored of the world when he is not in it.

And is these things, these impossible things, rather than rational thought that move you to speak.

‘Do you want to move in with me?’

You say the words against his chest, into his clothes, asking his thermal rather than him. Even in the aftermath, you don’t know why you said them so soon, without having talked it over or mentioning it before. You did not use the word together, did not approach this as a topic to be discussed over time - you phrased it as a question, a question of need and want, and you almost feel a twinge of regret at your presumptuousness.

Chanyeol stops moving, tilting his head downward so that his chin touches your hair. ‘What?’

Now that you have said the words, you think there is no reason for you to backtrack. You meant them, meant every word of them, and so you stomach the nerves and step out of his hold to regard him with pride. ‘I’m tired of letting you go in the morning...or at the end of a week,’ you say, searching his face for any sign of upset. ‘I’m tired of letting you go.’

For several moments, Chanyeol keeps quiet. Hips lips move as though trying to speak, though no sound emerges. This silent feels as though it lasts the length of an hour, an hour tainted with pain and heartbreak, and you find yourself ready to wave your hands and forget the conversation, ready to be held against his chest once more, even if the hold would not last.

But he reaches you first, twines your hands together and runs his nose along your cheek as though he were asking God to welcome him home.

‘I hate leaving you,’ he whispers as his lips reach your ear. ‘I am so tired of leaving.’

‘So don’t,’ you murmur, angling your head to kiss him once more, glad that, now, you will never have to stop.

[elizabethrosemondtaylors]

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