#if only it wasnt about a FUCKING IMPORTANT MATTER
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pertinax--loculos · 1 year ago
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Every time I see that incorrect fucking post about the Voice to Parliament floating around it makes me FUCKING LIVID. Like I wanna wade in cuz it's PLAIN FUCKING WRONG but the sentiment is correct so I stop myself.
So yeah, VOTE YES but for fuck's sake PLEASE understand what you're fucking voting for. There is no reason Indigenous Australians shouldn't be allowed in Parliament which is why THEY ARE CURRENTLY ALLOWED IN PARLIAMENT. There's also no reason not to have a Constitutionally entrenched Indigenous led advisory body WHICH IS WHAT THE FUCKING REFERENDUM IS ABOUT, jesus christ.
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crypt1dcorv1dae · 3 months ago
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I've literally never understood parents who don't let their like... TODDLER age kids play with kids of the "opposite" gender. Like wtf do you think your 3 year old is gonna get up to????? News flash heteros people aren't literally born sexual beings and you don't need to protect your sweet baby girl from the boy from her preschool class.
Which also makes boy/girl friendships later on actually LESS TABOO meaning, if your kid grew up being friends with OTHER GENDERS, they will be less likely to see others solely as potential romantic/sexual objects and can actually have positive normal friendships with people of any sex or gender. Who fucking knew that if you don't treat something as FORBIDDEN then it stops being so appealing, especially if you have a rebellious streak
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hecksupremechips · 6 months ago
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Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that
#persona#shinjiro aragaki#hes the only one i really respect here#its like so annoying though that i even care like whats wrong with me why does this bother me so much#just cuz i see myself in this character and also feel like shit and idk when he doesnt even get to live doesnt get to recover#and this is treated as a good game with a profound theme and this is treated as good writing#its hard not to be hurt when its like. im barely hanging on man#and youre telling me he can be saved by someone noticing him and caring about him and he can get through it and be loved and try to heal#but this is treated as some sorta disservice to the narrative and that you cant have the theme work this way#its like. but this is the only way i can even feel anything about this theme this actually makes me wanna try#seeing the character going through mental issues like mine die just like. it makes things suck idk#and its like why do i even care like this shouldnt matter but idk its like#if he can make it then why cant i#and im just really attached to this and i really really want to make my fic of him exist cuz. nothing is going good for me rn#but if i can make this one thing thats important to me where someone gets to recover then maybe ill feel less helpless#its what im trying to tell myself so i can stop feeling like im. idk cringe or something cuz im emotionally attached to a fictional#character and the wellbeing of this character feels like motivation for me#i just wish i wasnt so damn desperate about it 😩#anyway can someone please slap me with a fish so i can stop being insecure about my writing and just fucking do it
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hauntingblue · 8 months ago
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NAMI HAS TAKEN ACTION!!! LETSGOOOOO
#when is uta gonna physically fight luffy..... it's just a matter of time#shanks planning on coming back?? its been 84 years.... that probably was only said to makino bc he is trying to sway her.... girl run...#'that's our local sea beast' so he just hangs out??? well fuck me#luffy was just fucking around about the making a new era and look what happened.... apollo blessed him....#the sun god omg.... nika..... ahdahsaj i ws fucking around with that too HAJSHAJA#oh no shit he does actually come back.... i thought this was the same time... omg... THAT'S EVEN SKETCHIER!!!#thinking luffy wss just here alone depressed in foosha and ace was there alone depressed on the forest too...... 🥺🥺🥺#ohhhh little luffy....... like i know she is not dead but something happened..... what....#oh it might seem like she died... elegia destroyed bc of shanks??? what is that and tot music (sounds like catalan meaning all music to me)#beckman has haki too? like zoro........#SHE HAS BEEF WITH SHANKS?? SEE HOW HE IS SKETCHY!! WHATS WITH THAT FACE???#i need to make my evil shanks cosnpiracy board but that whill be implied on my other bigger conspiracy board i am sure#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1030#zeus got free... its namis turn...#usopp and nami being strong and brave for tama..... exactly.....#and so they meet again..... oh new break with momo.......#otama tamed big mom too omg ajdhajshaja prometheus saying she enters mom mode with kids under 10 AHDHAJSHAJ#no way big mom is turning on kaido for this.... SHE KNOWS RYUO TOO??? SHE IS NOT TOUCHING HIM OMG#goodbye page one... jesus.... now his sister..... damn#damn. wasnt expecting all that. now nami can take zeus either way hehe#episode 1031#when are we gonna get ad breaks for the rest of the crew.... we get it zoro and luffy are important.... okay....#sanji carrying zoro.... here we go....#PEROSPERO????? DIEEEE!!!! WHERE IS CARROT???#komachiyo..... TAMAA!!!!! usopp tells nami to take her and run.... NAH!!!! FUCK HER SHIT UP!!!!!!#nami finally fighting omg i have been waiting for this moment#episode 1032
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jvzebel-x · 1 year ago
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🦋
#im seeing a new psychiatrist next week.#&when i prep for specifically these types of appts its really important for me to like. sit. w myself. &bleed lmao.#metaphorically. of course. lmao.#but its a process thats important to me bc like. i dont. want to go into an appt like this unsure about my goals#&ESP unsure about what about me i. dont want. to give up. defective or not. something can only be a mistake if it isnt useful.#whether its a cause or effect or nature or nurture doesnt matter in the end. theory isnt relevant when talking about actual impact#except for comparison which is ultimately the goal w these periods: me now vs me post-intake lmao. what makes me. idk. me?#what cant i live without? what cant i live with? what am i willing to have diagnosed&dissected&medicated?#the new doc is bc this Bad mania stint has been. bad. lmao. &it isnt making it easy to see myself thru a lense#that isnt super fucked up&broken. idk if im thinking too highly of myself or being too self depricating.#idk if anything is worth keeping if the goal is supposed to be. settling? i dont think im made to settle lmao.#my physical health would probably be a lot easier to manage if i wasnt. oh. batshit insane. lmao. so i cant fault the hypothetical.#but also i dont think i was. made. to settle. lmao. the anxiety i get when my skin feels too tight is too big a part of me.#idk who i would be without the constant. hunger. lmao.#i feel absolutely everything in extremes. obsession is like. my default setting. its also what i operate best at.#both my fear&my hope is having that. disappear. having the intensity simmer down permanently.#i am. ravenous. lmao. i can never describe this constant. feeling. w/o referencing v specifically hunger. lmao.#i know it probably isn't like. healthy. lmao. but this feeling of. intensity. that makes up like the backbone of my whole personality.#when its gone i feel. nothing lmao.#maybe its bc ive overloaded myself so much that not feeling EVERYTHING feels like not feeling. anything. lmao.#maybe its bc i. dont want. to go back on lithium.#i dont like. who it makes me. or the fact that it comes out at times like these where its easier to knock me out than deal w me#so they inadvertantly make it impossible for me to do the evisceration i need to get myself back together. lmao.#also i just. dont like not feeling. lmao.#this glorification of coldness&apathy&individualism to the point of toxicity is so. boring. to me. lmao.#i dont want to not feel. i would rather feel everything than nothing. i would keep my obsessive personality&my obnoxious intensity#if it was a choice between that or floating in a constant state of half disassociation where it isnt even worth my time#to go out&find trouble&be my favourite type of selfdestructive. lmao.#im rambling&also being horrifically overdramatic lmao. if i survived one round of the stuff i can sure as fuck survive more.#... i just would prefer not to. lmao.
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snekdood · 5 months ago
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ppl need to stop equating being messy with being unhealthy
#messiness =/= unhealthiness ok#its messy to have pieces of paper all over the place#its unhealthy to have moldy trash all over the place#THERE. IS. A. DIFFERENCE. *slams fist on table* DAMMIT!#one produces bacteria or fungi and attracts bugs#ones just fucking. paper.#i'm extremely passionate about this.#as a likely autistic kid being told these sorts of things were the same it made me rebellious bc no matter how much ppl tried to#tell me it was the same my brain still knew they were somehow different.#if you're like 'clean that up' and I ask why. you need to give me a good reason why otherwise my brain registers it as something#that will just waste my energy I could be using more productively#and also I knew that paper isnt dangerous and isnt gonna kill me with fungus or bacteria or whatever#but the hammering in became sort of effective at a point bc I started to think they were the same which only made me burnt out#and give up (and for other reasons but thats a story for another day) and instead of seeing clearly like I did before anyone tried to#convince me I wasnt seeing clearly- I just thought of it all as the same. but it's not! some things hold more priority over others. but no#one taught me this. they just told me to clean and then never showed me how or why I should. so I became rebellious bc unfortunately#'because I said so' isnt a very convincing argument for someone w autism lol.#so now i'm having to teach myself how to clean basically from the bottom up and I've had to realize that some things are more important#than others. and im so upset and angry that I was convinced it was all the same when I already knew before it wasnt#just bc i'd be yelled at otherwise#but no- bacteria producing. bug attracting. fungus making things take priority over everything else and i'm not about to let#anyone convince me my space is equally as gross if all I have is paper and empty water bottles everywhere. fuck off.#i do not care about aesthetics. and caring about mess means caring about aesthetics.#any yknow what else is messy? plants in nature. disorganized. inconsistent. growing all over the place. and I think that's beautiful#so personally I dont see the point in getting upset over mess.#I understand getting upset over things that are unhealthy- but not messiness. life is messy and always will be.
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sn0tcl0wn · 11 months ago
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decided to replay trigger happy havoc because it's been so long and when i checked my save files i remembered that the reason i didnt wanna play it anymore was cause it was one of the games my exes "accidentally" deleted from my vita so i lost all my save files. twice. i've had the game since it dropped and yet the only save file from before today was from 2015 (right around when i started dating my second fiance) which was like five years after i got it so i can see why it depressed me every time i looked at it.
why do dorky ass loser men go out of their way to crush any ounce of joy you have as if you're not actively fucking and caring for him? like were they threatened by my kins? why didn't i punch either of them for deleting so much of my shit? like now i understand why i stopped gaming for so long. going through all my old games and systems today and Reflecting™️ was truly illuminating. if the next one either does shit like that or outright doesnt let me play my games in peace im gonna fucken swing.
like i deadass cried for like five minutes when i realized what had actually happened to my games and why i really stopped playing and how no one ever took it seriously back when they did that (despite everyone getting on me for doing it to them since it didn't matter right?) only for it to escalate into full on abuse less than a year into dating either of them. it's fucking horrific tbh.
anyway i'm actually gaming again and i feel so free.
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catboysalmon · 1 year ago
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Birthday...approacheth. strange feelings accompanying
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strangersynth · 1 year ago
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bc you have things to say doesn't always mean you needa say them let alone it also doesn't always mean it's your place to say them kwim
#some ppl rlly think they have a little too many rights to decide what's okay for someone to do at what age#like shaming people for what they do with themselves n their bodies in movies in socials in works in their Lives bc age this age that#go touch some grass come back when ur ready to accept u dont have a say on anybody else. not a minor and much less an 18+ person#like that one cancelling attempt over noah liking a video about his own body. or that one scene in wyfstw that had people going like;#':o oh my gawd how can he do this. how is cinema not 24/7 tame and extremely family-friendly always?? he is like 10!' and it's a 20yo#or like millie getting engaged because they're in love and ppl being like but but but she is 19!!!! well. she is also Not You and Not Yours#she and her fiance made a choice to marry. bitch you made a choice to talk and i wasnt complaining when u did it was i#/ like people's choices with who they fall in love with. like people's relationships that very much do Not include you#/ also very important; like shaming sex workers for whatever the fuck ur reason is im about to grab you by the ear and rip it off#NONE of that above and More is there for u to be without anyone even asking u all like Okay here's my veredict- girl No#ur freedom of speech hand it over.jpeg#this other day i saw this thing abt this married couple that met cause he was a 21yo#and she was 18 and she liked him and he knew and was like wanna go out or sum and now years after theyre literally married making a family#and ppl were like sorry but that mortified me i cant be the only one thats so disturbed and girl#i know you aint shaming a happy couple rn because of age difference#people turn their heads and gape like it's illegal when they hear age difference and i think yall getting a little too comfy with judging#people for who they love. for judging what u personally dont understand. if u aint been thru it u literally just dont get it#just using someone else's ongoing relationship to victimise urself get out pls and thanku#like i Know the risk that comes thru age differences no matter how big how small but risks come from many more places than one#grooming is a Very real thing and that doesnt mean you get to stamp it on everything. how about dont throw around serious terms#guilt-tripping an older person and victimising and infantilising a young person both in a relationship they want to be in#when said people aint even /you/ dont make you hero.#then again ppl tend to twist 'younger people need to feel safe' in so many ways but thats another story#like im not gonna get into guilttripping people that want to portray real feelings wants and acts onto fictional characters that make You s#mortified you start throwing Real srs allegations that you should Not be allowed to have in your vocabulary if thats how you gon use them#u Know what im talking about#sense the level of seriousness. try and be conscious of what people go through regarding said dangers#stop pointing fingers at people that have made it so far just because they could have Not made it
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soulemissary · 2 years ago
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my sheer inability to keep track of time lately has been bothering me though bc i only keep track of time when i'm somewhat in my own head which means that whenever the days start passing by fast i can't talk to [REDACTED]
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luneemeritus · 3 months ago
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Angel Dust love/appreciation post
With all the horrendous negativity sorrounding Angel Dust these days, I decided to make a post dedicated to love and appreciate him. It's 2024 and we still need to defend victims. It's like we moved backwards, specially considering that most individuals that hate Angel for... some reason? Call themselfs progressists. Lmao. What a sick joke. But let's foccus on what's good: Angel.
• Angel was willing to have sex with Alastor only to help Charlie. He doesnt like Alastor, he thinks Al is creepy and untrustworthy, and if he filmed himself having sex with Al, he would piss off Valentino (doing work "without his permission" to help someone Val heavily dislikes, after all, Charlie is helping him). So Angel was putting himself in danger and willing to fuck the stinky deer bastard just to help Charlie. HE LOVES HER SO MUCH, I CANT.
• Angel is so protective. He is so brave, he tried everything he could to keep Charlie away from Val, even yelling at her because her safety is more important for him. He grabbed Niffty like a baby to protect her from the loansharkers that were chasing Mimzy, he took the knife out of Niffty's hand, he stood up against Val to defend Niffty, and, unlike Charlie, she wasnt very close to him. But he just cares so much about his friends. It's so beautiful.
• The whole scene when Angel tells Val to fuck off. Just this. It's so fucking satisfying to see Angel being so strong and brave. Of course he will need help eventually, no one can be strong forever, but still. I'm so proud of him.
• Angel rejects Cherri's offer (drug) without shaming her or considering her less of a friend. He still loves her, supports her and is always there for her no matter what ❤️
• He didnt only stayed in the Hotel even after knowing Adam would target them first, he was also so invested in fighting back and protecting the Hotel. What a good boy 🥹
• When Vaggie throw him along with Pentious, he didnt ran away nor left Pentious to die alone (considering how both him and Vaggie were not trusting him), he fought back, protected Pentious and supported him after they were safe. And keep in mind that Pentious was both working for the Vees AND slutshamed Angel. But Angel didnt hold grudge (honestly he's better than me, my petty ass would be 100% pettier)
• The simple fact that Angel opened up to Husk was an act of strenght. This was so hard for him. The facade "helped" him to stay "untouched" and "safe" from humiliation, but it only made him self destruct. Letting go of that facade and ADMITING that he needs help is so, so hard. But he did it. Angel I love you
• The way he was so heartbroken by Pentious's death 🥺💔 "you did good, buddy" HEEELLPPP
• His protectiveness is beyond his friends, he saved the little egg boy in the cuntiest way possible, he's so fucking kind and brave, HE SLAYED.... (literally)
• As some people love to point Angel's past in the mafia (I mean, their ASSUMPTIONS on what Angel's mafia past was lol) to prove that "he is such a terrible person", I'd love to point out how he's terrified and disgusted by cruelty (Alastor's, Val's, Adam's) and only uses to violence when he needs to defend himself. From the men that wanted to drug and assault him in EP4, defending their territorry from Pentious in the pilot, defending the Hotel from literally every danger, from the mob that wanted to kill him in that very old pre-pilot comic. In conclusion, he is not a cruel person.
• And still speaking of that topic: he can handle himself. And that's fantastic. Every single time he used a gun, he ate 💅
• CHARLIE GRABBED HIS HAND IN THE FINALE 😭😭😭 it's so beautiful I love theeeemmm
• And of course, he stopped acting inapropriately towards Husk because he understood what he was doing is wrong. His haters are unable to see how much Angel improves himself, but it's not easy to let go of a problematic behaviour when called out. Angel I love you so much
• The way he was chasing Fat Nuggets when the Hotel was destroyed 🥺🥺🥺 such a wonderful pet dad ❤️
• There are different interpretations for Angel's reaction when Husk tells him "I guess you have changed", but I just love how he doesnt take pride or talks about himself, because that was not his priority. He wanted to foccus on living, helping and supporting his friends, spending his time wisely with people he cared about. I love you Angel
• Angel is unapologetically feminine, sensual, free and queer. This is awesome. He would be the best freak at Pride Parades. Be like Angel, be unapologetically yourself, live freely.
Now just look at cute pictures of this patootie
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He's so pretty. I love him. Thanks for reading. Live laugh love Angel Dust
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weebsinstash · 4 months ago
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You can totally correct me if I'm wrong but I'm kinda sitting here thinking like
Did anyone actually ever... have a conversation with Bakugou about how he treated Midoriya. Did anyone ever actually like learn more details about how Izuku was abused and called Bakugou out. Did anyone ever actually comfort Izuku for being bullied even one time
Was it ever addressed in any sort of way that Bakugou's competitive and aggressive behavior was a direct result of how his mom is. Did anyone ever side-eye his mom for being physically and verbally abusive. Was it ever discussed that her behavior was inappropriate and is actually abuse and that she's greatly responsible for the antisocial behaviors her son has.
Were any of Todoroki's classmates ever depicted as like, mildly upset at finding out their classmate is abused. Were any of them horrified to learn his birth was literally eugenics. Did anyone ever display any sympathy for him besides Izuku. Did any of his classmates hold anger or resentment for Endeavor or did they think it was ok he kept being a Hero. Was there ever any consequences for Endeavor. Did he ever even like, go to jail, or, lose his job, or was the only consequence that Dabi, the other abused eugenics child who was so traumatized by it all he started basically burning himself to death, lost his life
Did Tomura literally just die without getting to say good bye to any of his friends, who were also victims and most of whom also died. Did he ever get to learn it was AFO who made him kill his family and that it wasnt his fault. Did he ever get any closure for literally anything at all.
Did anyone from the Hero Association ever actually like, get in trouble for the whole "we've been adopting kids to turn into weapons of the state including making people like Lady Nagant assassinate people" thing. Is Hero Society fundamentally being changed at all after all these huge enormous reveals.
I'm just kind of sitting here wondering why, in a conversation about heroes and ethics and being morally righteous, Horikoshi also sort of quietly normalized or, at least didn't deeply discuss some things that were actually pretty important and directly related to conversations the story was already trying to have. I think though it might also be in part to certain Japanese cultural practices where they believe certain personal and family matters should be kept private, but it's just sort of like. Golly gee there's sure a lot of normalizing and accepting of abuse in this supposedly heroic power fantasy manga! I kind of find it hard to believe there's not a single single person in class 1A who doesn't like Bakugou and that everyone is just best friends! Maybe I'm just a hateful bitch but I'd be glaring at Endeavor every single time he entered my line of sight and I'd be outspoken on how he should quit his fucking job and go to prison! Maybe it's just weird I think more students would be dropping out to get jobs that are heroic but isnt actual costume wearing vigilanteism after finding out that the people who are their bosses are corrupt pieces of shit who basically control society from the shadows! Maybe it's just me!
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vividraft · 27 days ago
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it's always been you
⇢ ˗ˏˋ fem!reader x alhaitham
⇢ ˗ˏˋ summary: even though it seemed like the universe did not want you and alhaitham together, he came to save you in the last second
⇢ ˗ˏˋ important notes: this is a repost from my old account (@/rainstops)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ a/n: ooc alhaitham... i think
old post masterlist tba !
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you and alhaitham always got along really great. some people would say that youre the only one who he ever really got a long with. always kind and respectful to you.
kaveh was the first one to notice alhaithams blatant favoritism towards you. whenever he tried to bring it up, alhaitham quickly shut him down. but this time he wasnt going to let that happen.
"so? when are you going to ask [name] out?", he immediately asked when alhaitham walked through the door of their shared apartment. 
"ask her out? why would i do that?", alhaitham was quick to answer. 
"come on dude, everyone knows that you like her. 
"like her? sure i like her as a friend", alhaitham hung up his coat.
a moment of silence followed.
"oh so you wouldnt mind if i asked her out?", kaveh asked. alhaithams head shot into his direction. no words needed. the expression on alhaithams face was far more than enough for kaveh. 
"Ha, see you do like her!"
"whatever im going to sleep"
kaveh was right though. alhaitham did hold feelings in his heart that he didnt understand very well.
you on the other hand also just arrived at home. you took off your shoes and were immediately confronted with a "[name] we have to talk", of course from no one less than your mother. you tried to avoid her as much as you could, but with how controlling she is, that was more than just hard.
you both sat down at the kitchen table, and your mother immediately started talking. and you wished you wouldnt have come home that night.
"so you know that the fact that our family keeps on living, and keeping up our status is important, right?", your mother started. she had been giving you the same talk lately over and over again. she kept reminding you about how you had to get a boyfriend soon and get married soon. for archons sake, you were 19!
your family had a fairly high status in sumeru, and your mother lived for continuing the family. she had an early marriage and an early pregnancy, just to ensure that the family reproduces.
"mom get to the point", you sighed. you couldnt hear the same talk over and over again. she would just tell you how its important that you have children and its for the family and-
"i've arranged a marriage for you"
what?
she what?
"you did WHAT?", you slammed your hands on the table and stood up from your chair. 
"[name] you know its just so-"
"i dont CARE what its about!"
"now how about you sit back down and listen to me. ive found you a lovely guy whos just a year older-"
"no, how about you listen to ME for this first time in your life? all the time you were trying to control my life and manipulate me and you kept telling me over and over again how its 'for the family'!, well in all honesty fuck this family!", all your pent up anger from your nineteen years of living was now let out at the person who caused it all.
"young lady that is no way to talk to your mother, and especially no way to talk about your family!", your mother stood up from her chair as well. 
"youre not fucking listening to me! i am not getting married!", you screamed while putting your shoes back on.
you stormed out the door, although you were very aware that she was going to get whatever she wants one way or another.
it doesnt matter. she never even mattered. you needed to go somewhere, somewhere else than that place you lived in. and you knew exactly where.
kaveh opened the door for you. 
"alhaitham theres someone here for you!" he shouted through the whole apartment. its not like you were never here for you. whenever your mother got too much, you slept at alhaithams place. kaveh also told you a million times already that youre the only one who alhaitham allows to sleep in his room.
"same fights as always?", kaveh asked. you shook your head. 
"worse"
"worse? what did she do?", alhaitham was suddenly standing right in the hallway. it took you everything you had to stop you from ugly crying right then and there.
you were still mad. you were always gonna be mad, but the fact that you almost sprinted all the way to the shared apartment, took away a little of the rage.
"its kind of really hard to say", you really didnt want to say it. it for some reason felt even more wrong to tell alhaitham, but you didnt know why. 
"i dont think theres really anything that we dont expect from your mother by now", alhaitham said looking at kaveh, and then back at you. your eyes started watering. not at the thought of having to say it out loud, but at the thought of having to spend most of your life with someone you didnt even know.
"she arranged a marriage for me", you said. your words were followed by a long silence.
alhaitham looked irrated at you. or maybe he was angry. who knows. kaveh on the other hand was shocked. his eyes wide, and lips slightly apart. never of them knew what to say.
"youre kidding", alhaitham said, more wishing than actually asking. his voice was barely above a whisper. 
you could only shake your head.
a shaky, long sigh escaped your lips, and even though you didnt want it, the tears started falling. your body tensed up, and you could feel alhaithams arms wrap right around you. all you could do was lay your head onto his chest, and kaveh went to grab some water for you.
the rest, you dont remember.
you woke up, in alhaithams bed. the apartment sounded empty. what time was it? you honestly couldnt care less about going to school today. you didnt want to go anywhere today. but you also couldnt stay here another night, that was decided. one way or another you had to confront your mother, and who knows, maybe you could also convince her to stray from her plan.
but you knew, you could not convince her.
you discussed and fought with her for quite a long time.
"youre getting married to that man, and if i have to drag you to that wedding. besides everything is already paid for"
"wait- already paid for? when is the wedding anyways?",
"next month"
without another word, you stood up from the kitchen table and went to your room. you threw yourself onto your bed.
your body felt so heavy, and especially your heart. your eyes felt as if they were going to close any second, but you didnt feel like you could sleep. you were angry, but you were also disappointed and sad. disappointed in your mother, that she saw you as nothing else other than an a way to extend the family. 
and disappointed in yourself, for not being able to convince her.
well at least you still had alhaitham. he was the best friend you could ever ask for, although you ever wondered if you felt more towards him than just friendship.
your question was answered pretty quickly. you had no idea what had caused it. if it was the upcoming marriage, or just because he was always there for you. but recently you wanted to be closer to him than before. you wanted to always stay by his side, but maybe you just wanted to avoid being home.
but alhaitham... was it just an illusion or was he getting more and more distant by the minute? he used to always make time for you. if you were struggling with something, he stopped what he was doing just to help you. he wanted to talk to you over all of the people he knew. he talked to you daily, but now the days you two talked were moving apart further and further.
what was happening?
"alhaitham can we talk?", you carefully asked, not wanting to disturb him. this was one of the first time you felt like you were walking on eggshells around him. 
"not right now [name], im busy", he replied, not even bothering to take his eyes off the paper he was working on.
"but its kind of important...", you tried again. 
suddenly he slapped his paper down onto the table. 
"what is it?", he finally looked at you for once.
you sat down right across from him. 
"well... how do i start this"
"just say it, i have important things to do"
...
were you not important to him anymore?
"alhaitham, i feel like we are drifting apart", those were the best words you could find to describe what you were feeling.
"so what? its not like we're a couple or anything"
"so i dont matter to you at all"
a moment of silence. 
thats not true, is what alhaitham wanted to say.
"alhaitham dont ignore me"
"im not ignoring you"
"then answer me"
"fuck [name] just- JUST FUCKING FINALLY LEAVE ME ALONE"
huh
wait what? 
did he just say that?
"did i just say that...?", he mumbled to himself, kind off hoping you would hear it, but you were already out of the room, heading home. 
your mind was blank. where did you go wrong? what did you do that couldve possibly made him act this way?
alhaitham got home, closed the door, and sunk into the couch. his hands were traveling through his hair, and he was rubbing his face as if he was trying to rub away the words he said.
"woah what happened to you", kaveh asked as he walked past him, just wanting to get a glass of water.
"nothing", alhaitham mumbled, his hands still in his face. 
"doesnt look like nothing to me", kaveh replied. honestly he shouldve just dropped it right then and there.
"kaveh what do you think gives you the right to nag me like theres no tomorrow?"
kaveh just stared. 
"seriously man what is up with you recently? is it because of... you know, [name] getting married?", it almost felt hard to say. 
his heart dropped to his stomach and a shudder went down his spine, hearing kavehs words.
the reminder that you were getting married takes him right back to the day when you told him whats happening. he couldnt help his heart feeling like it was getting ripped apart, like its nothing more than just a piece of paper. 
from that day on he couldnt concentrate on anything. everything felt like a reminder of you, everything reminded him of the daggers that were send through his heart of the mere sight of you.
so he did the only thinkable thing, which was to distance himself. maybe his heart and mind would go back to the way things used to be. but everyday where he would be spending less time with you, felt like someone was taking half his soul away. he was even less focused on things, and was living in a trance, like a depressed man. 
but in no way was he trying to hurt you. no that was even worse than anything he could think off.
everything felt like it circled around you. it almost felt like...
"it feels a little like youre living for [name], doesnt it?", kaveh suggested. 
yeah exactly that.
kaveh sat down next to him. 
"alhaitham, do you remember the exact date [name]'s wedding is?"
alhaitham looked at kaveh. 
"its tomorrow, alhaitham"
wait
wait, no, when did time pass so fast? you cant get married. no way.
you were standing there, in your white dress. it wasnt really yours. it was your mothers old dress, meaning you did not choose your own dress. but maybe it was better like that, since you didnt want to get married anyway. the reception wasnt very pretty, it almost looked like a church. but maybe only you felt this way. you didnt want to be here. you didnt want to be anywhere. well there was one place that couldve been nice. you wanted to be wherever alhaitham is right now, but he didnt seem to want you arround.
you were staring at the bouquet you were holding. everything felt so surreal. you looked up at the guy you were marrying. he looked absolutely happy to be where he was. it almost made you uncomfortable to look at the wide grin on his face.
you looked at your mother, who seemed to be crying. everyone seemed so happy, except for you.
you were not picking up any words, until the question was asked.
"do you take [name], as your wife, your partner, for all eternity?", the sentence almost made you throw up. 
"yes", the guy so quickly replied. he smiled at you. and you felt the urge to slap him. and maybe your mother while you were at it.
"now, do you take [guys name], to be your husband, your partner, for all eternity?"
"I.. uh", you wanted to say no so bad, but it seems you didnt have to.
you looked up from the floor you were staring at to avoid any gazes, when suddenly the doors to the reception slammed open. 
"stop... the fucking wedding", alhaitham stood there, out of breath, his hair messier than ever, and he looked like he had been... crying?
he walked up to you and took your hand. 
"you dont want to marry this guy right? forget this, forget everything, and just come with me"
he looked at you like he had never seen anything he loved more. and in that moment, you indeed forgot everything. like nothing was important, nothing other than the happiness of you and the one who was holding your hand.
you dropped your bouquet right there and ran. your mother shouted something, and the guy was standing there all confused.
as soon as the both of you had left the reception, you started stumbling. 
"alhaitham im wearing heels!", without hesitation, alhaitham picked you up like you weighed nothing.
a few more steps and you both hid in an allyway. 
to some people this might looked weird, but they dont know what was happening. to you you couldnt be happier than this.
but yet, tears were streaming down your face. and you arms wrapped themselves around alhaitham, quicker than he could react. your head was already pressed into his chest. and he hugged you back.
"im so sorry, im sorry for shouting at you and im sorry for not helping you earlier. i love you, [name]", his voice was wavering, but it had an odd certainty in it. without someone having to tell you, you knew from this day on everything was going to be okay.
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ge-nde-rr-env-y · 6 months ago
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i played owen carvour in a production of spies in sydney, and tcb i have a confession i added a line. in the man behind the curtain reveal, owen says "if it hadn't been for my spot on aim and interest in foreign policy, i might have been an actor." i had about a month between application and audition and i was sitting on the first paragraph for so long and i got a bit bored. so i added "and you know, being blackmailed by the english" to that list. it added this manic, pained spark to the moment. fuel for the fire.
i dont know what joey thinks about owens history, but i gave him a timeline. born 1926 (nov 14th. scorpio bitch.), his fine family home destroyed in the Blitz, he enlists for some income (and maybe to escape home) at 17 in 1943, too young, but he's slick and clever enough to pass as an adult. 1945, right before the end of the war, he sees something he shouldnt have. the higher ups in a below the table deal that could ruin a lot of rich and powerful peoples lives if it reaches the wrong hands. owen carvours hands were the wrong hands. but he's a remarkable soldier, he's quick, he's a master tactician, and he's Good At Lying. hes useful. so instead of taking him out. someone says "hey kid. howd you like to be a secret agent. -also if you say no you'll die-" no choice. he'll continue to live at the behest of a governments will.
he doesnt Like being a spy, but its not the worst thing in the world. he likes the more decadent aspects, certainly, and deception not only comes naturally, but brings a sort of thrill.
he doesn't like being a spy until he meets curt mega. this part of his history is a bit blurry, but i imagine them meeting sometime near 1952 (because of the song Video Killed The Radio Star), surely on the job somewhere. curt makes spying fun. and curt is the first real thing owen has had reliably since 1943. he doesnt change, hes delightfully predictable, and despite him appearing somewhat less intelligent than owen, he has this knack for seeing straight through to owens heart. curt is daring, where owen might be intially more cautious. curt has the guts to get the two of them *into* situations, where owen has the tactician skill to get them *out*.
i think owen got comfortable. tragically, the two of them were so in sync, so reliant on each other, that he didnt see the fall coming at all.
it wasnt the fall that hurt. it was watching curt walk away. he'd always thought that if this were to happen, theyd go down together.
CHIMERA found him in the rubble, a boy who'd always been controlled, who'd never really got a chance to live a life of his own, and saw a man who was easy both to manipulate, and to empower.
they weren't aggressive about their agenda because they knew what would happen. the founder/ceo (a man i have decided is named Thomas) simply let owen recover in their facilities and let him free when he was able to leave, with an explanation of their plan, and an offer of further help should he require it.
owen broke within a month. a string of killings across europe simply attributed to an individual named The Deadliest Man Alive. CHIMERA drags owen back by the scruff of his neck.
"what the hell do you think you're doing."
"what? who are they going to arrest? owen carvours fucking dead."
its very important to me that owen wasnt brainwashed by CHIMERA. every choice has to come from him because the catharsis of him fully believing in the ideology he carries out with his chest for the first time is just delicious.
he doesnt. hate curt. i dont think. he loves curt, and he hates the institution of Espionage that forced them into this. but ultimately, that institution is so driven into curt that owen cant get what he really wants, which is to break curt out of that and have him all to himself. coldest goodbye reprise is a moment of sorrowful acceptance for both of them. owen understands that curt is always going to be a spy, no matter what, and giving up on the fantasy he had.
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crescentpaws · 27 days ago
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unprompted anti keefe post because i remembered this quote just now and got unnecessarily mad about it again. almost every reason i have to hate keefe can be seen in this quote from legacy btw:
“Isn’t this the epic showdown you’ve been planning where you order Tammy Boy to kill me? Thanks for the warning about that, by the way,” he told Tam. “As you can see, it worked super well.”
“keefe can keep a secret if it’s actually important” no the fuck he can not. this quote just proves how little he actually cares for other people. tam risked SO MUCH to pass along that warning to sophie, and keefe just casually mentions it in front of gisela. i can’t tell if he’s just really stupid or if he genuinely doesn’t care about the very REAL and very LIKELY possibility that gisela would literally kill tam for that. keefe casually decides to possibly condemn someone to death just to have a moment where he can tell his mom “i already knew what you were planning all along btw! lol! haha!��� god he’s a fucking idiot.
then he has the nerve to say “as you can see, it worked super well” as if keefe didn’t SPECIFICALLY CHOOSE to ignore the message????? acting as if it’s tam’s fault that they’re in this position???
i get he uses humor as a coping mechanism, but all his comebacks to his mom just seem so stupid considering he is fully aware of what she is able to do. even if he knows she won’t hurt him, she is fully willing to hurt his friends. which he never seems to care about (unless it’s sophie, because for some reason sophie is the only person that matters to him. but clearly not even she really matters or else he would stop betraying her trust over and over and over again.)
reminder that the only reason they’re here is because sophie knew if she didn’t take keefe to london he would go by himself btw. which is just so. UGH. it’s not her job to be his fucking babysitter. how is that a healthy relationship
and then keefe has the nerve to be mad after tam escapes with gisela. like, you know, the literal exact same fucking thing he did with alvar in lodestar. except in keefe’s situation, he wasn’t a prisoner. he wasn’t wearing special bonds made of light that restricted his power. tam actually had a reason to go back with gisela. which keefe never did with alvar. but it’s ok! he’s allowed to be mad because it’s his mom! he’s allowed to be mad at everyone if they focus on the bigger picture instead of what will stop making him feel sad right this second! it’s ok for him to be mad because his mom is evil! but it’s not ok for fitz to be mad about them letting alvar go! because that’s different for some reason! trust me guys!!!!!!!!!!!
and don’t even get me STARTED on the final battle scene in loamnore. keefe is just so. oh my god. he’s so fucking aggravating. literally the whole group’s plan relied on the fact that keefe WASNT going to be there. he literally PROMISED he wouldn’t show up and try to take things over (like he always does). i seriously have no idea how sophie ever trusts him again after that. that would be my final straw. all he’s done is prove that no matter how much he swears he’s telling the truth, he’s just a manipulative liar 👍 it shouldn’t be sophie’s job to be constantly monitoring keefe to make sure he doesn’t do stupid shit like this. she shouldn’t have to be using her energy 24/7 worrying about what stupid thing he’s going to do next. that is not a healthy relationship.
and what do you know, keefe arriving at the scene was exactly what the neverseen wanted! gisela got to do what she was planning from the beginning!! and keefe acts like it wasn’t ENTIRELY PREVENTABLE.
god he’s just so stupid i don’t understand how any of these characters are able to remain friends with him. but whatever. keep glorifying his shitty behavior i guess.
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lovememoreplease · 11 months ago
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oh my dear pretty boy... ☆SPOILERS AND TW!! grim real name, spoiler for "sealed with a kiss" ending, dirty talking, Dacryphilia, creampie, hair pulling, male reader, dom reader, sub grim (if i worgot anything please tell me!)
a/n not proofread
☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆
casper did ended up coming to you. running away from his job to be with you. with love of his life. he would never guess in the life of his he would fall in love with a some mere mortal. after all, hes the grim reaper he shall be feared! but... it ended up in love. in something he never felt before. he was confused at first. oh so confused. he didn't knew what to do. but he did ended up confession to you. and even left his job because he couldnt get himself to collect a soul of his precious mortal. his newfound lover.
"kiss me then, sunshine" he said as he closed his eyes. he was laying on your bed with you on top of him. his hands looking so tempting to just grab and hold... but maybe later. his lips slightly parted waiting for the kiss. his first kiss. you smirk and lean down connecting yours and his lips together in a soft and loving kiss. you didn't wanted his first to be harsh after all. you don't want your pretty boy to have bad first impression on such an important thing after all.
"so, how was it?" you asked after a kiss pulling slightly away. "it... it was great" he replied as he cannot speak such a things like lie. why would he even lie in situation like this?
"i'm glad" you replied and peck his cheek. "but i'm not done, caspy" you chuckle and caress his soft cheek. casper skin care routing really paid off, huh? "well, i have in mind... to help you forget about your awful job, you want me to help you pretty boy?" you asked with teasing tone as he blushed and cleared his throat. "what do you mean by that, sunshine?" he asked blushing. "you will see, cutie" you chuckle. kissing his lips once more. "dont worry, nothing bad" you wink and laugh softly playing with his hair. "dont worry pretty boy... you will loooove it" you smile as he look no so sure but agree anyway. hes curious what might be on your mind even if he can guess alredy.
after a small kissing and talking you pulled away. but he wasnt surprised with it quickly pulling you back into another passionate kiss. his hands wrapped around you neck as his hand is on the back of your head pulling you closer and closer. his breath rapid and hitching as small whimpers leaves his lips as they connect and disconnect from yours non stop. he wanted more. he needed more. he wanted you and you only. his one and only sunshine.
and that's how both of you ended up ex grim reaper face pressed into a pillow as he bite on it to silence his loud moans and whimpers. it's so embarrassing... laying in mortal bed getting fucked dumb from behind by a mortal... but it was his mortal after all.
his hand gripping on the sheets. "s-sunshine" he moan out as you hit his prostate. small tears of pleasure slipping past his eyelids down his cheeks and onto a long time ago drenched pillow. "oh god.. r-righht here!" he arch his back as a pearly white drop of pre cum falls down his dick onto sheets underneath him. your hand massaging and kneading on his ass before sliding up his back and into his hair wrapping them around you'r hand and yanking them to yourslef making him look back. "hey, look at me, pretty boy. i want to see you" you say as his glossy eyes look at you. small sob escaping his lips but soon gets forgotten as slutty moan takes it place and his eyes close.
your thrusts getting sloppier and sloppier as you're close to your finish. you dont even remember what time he will get filled this night. not like it matter. you can fill him up once more.
your hips thrusing your cock in and out hitting casper sweet sweet spot all the times. your balls slapping against his ass making wet clapping sound but its mixed with grim sweet moans anyway. "sunshine.. ah! oh my~ d-dont stop i beg!" he moaned in erotic way gripping the sheets even harder. his brain a mush and heavy blush covering his face from all the crying. "i love you... i- i lohve youh sho sho muchhh" he stutter out as his words are getting slured with every new word he speak until you can no longer tell what hes saying. small 'i love you's sleeping past his lips with various moans, whimpers and squeaks. air getting kicked from his lungs with every hard pound into his now streched out hole. his walls clamping on your lenght as you can feel how they are squeezing even harder.
you didnt even had time to blink as another squirt of cum escaped casper cock head onto the small puddle of cum on the sheets. your moves gently slowing down before you pulled out of him and finished on his back. you leaned down massaging his bruised hips and kissing his cheek. "you did great, casper. such a good and pretty boy for me" you smilled and started the after care.
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