#if my life is just going to continue being pain

[sometimesraven]

^ all of this

but also I think it's kind of reductive to say Doctor Who is anti-transhumanism. It's easy to forget in this era of media illiteracy but most of the stories in that show are metaphors. In basically every instance where there's something similar to The Lazarus Experiment going on they're almost invariably not *literally* saying "using tech to artificially extend your lifespan/make you healthier/etc is bad", they're saying "trampling all over everyone around you to make your own life better is bad". It's anti capitalism and anti selfishness, not anti transhumanist.

The show regularly delves into elements of transhumanism that are shown as Cool.

Psi, for example, from the Time Heist episode, has a cybernetic brain. The existence of it is not criticised -- nor is it unique, as he's referred to as an "augmented human", implying this isn't uncommon for his time. Nardole, Bill and Heather's lives are all saved or improved by some level of genetic and physical alteration. Nanogenes are used to not only save lives but regrow lost limbs and such. There are many instances in Doctor Who of transhumanism being treated as not only positive, but just A Given.

And just as a slight correction to @caxycreations' point (no hate, just offering another perspective):

"He's a victim of a tragedy, and that tragedy is, quite painfully obviously, the fact he lives so long. His lifespan, his regeneration, is a curse to him, not a blessing."

While this is true on a surface level and certainly true of David Tennant's era, I wouldn't say this is true to the Doctor as a whole, and my evidence for that is the final example of transhumanism in the show that I will offer: Ashildr.

The Doctor himself made Ashildr immortal after accidentally getting her killed. While she does resent him for it and her immortality does cause her a lot of pain that leads to her being kind of an antagonist for a while, the way her outlook changes over time very pointedly raises the question if the Doctor's depression is caused not only by his trauma but just his general outlook on the universe and lack of therapy.

This is addressed very directly in their dialogue.

And while yes, this could again be perceived as "transhumanism bad", the fact that Ashildr's story ends with her travelling happily with Clara confirms otherwise. Again, the issue with Ashildr's immortality isn't that she has it -- but that it was against her will, caused by the Doctor's own dangerous incapability to deal with his trauma and grief. The specific part of this storyline, again, is another metaphor to help people deal with death and grief, not an anti transhumanist statement or even an anti immortality one.

While obviously the show has to continue so they had to figure it out regardless, the watsonian choice to have the Doctor at the end of this specific regeneration completely hopeless, completely unable to continue, tired and depressed, but be reminded why he is still around and what makes life beautiful is not an accident. It's not an accident that Ten, the most "immortality is a curse" Doctor specifically, returned later to essentially get therapy.

While yes, the Doctor did have a stint of believing immortality to be the Worst, it's not really the point of them or even a common thing for them to believe if you go back to Classic!Who.

(side note: it's also worth mentioning that the majority of positive examples of transhumanism in nuwho come from Moffat, whereas most of the negative examples come from RTD. This isn't a criticism of either approach for once, just that it's worth noting that a) the level of transhumanism depends entirely on individual writers and b) the level of metaphor also changes, for better or worse)

[rootspiral]

part [1][2][3]

In which I continue looking through Agatha scenes in Wandavision, I want to get to AAA nowwwwww but I can't stop taking screenshots. I forgot how good this show is

We are on episode 6 and it's naughty couture time! (so much for less screenshotting)

Oh wow, these three together, very cute and not painful in any way! Also not foreshadowing or anything.

I'm not clear on this point, did Ralph have ANY free will or was Agatha just puppeteering him at all times? Because he totally sounds like Agatha doing a half-assed Quicksilver impression. You want to know about Wanda's trauma, don't you Fietro???

Bit much there, buddy. That's right. Too much ham. Off you go.

yep, that's Agatha's manipulative ass alright. and she almost got away with it too.

Episode 7, where Agatha can't wait to get her paws on those little boys and do horrible villainous things to them (like making them snacks and watch cartoons. And some light trauma)

That's why Billy's her favorite, he's such a mama's boy.

the exact faces the three of them will make when auntie Agatha tries to ghost-mom the twins

babies are delicious

why is she being such an ASSHOLE TO WANDA OH MY GOD. psychological torture for days and days and days

IMMEDIATELY tries to bond with Billy. she's also prodding for his powers but there's genuine kindness there too

Billy genuinely likes Agatha though, that's the thing. despite everything, even in the future he instinctively trusts her and seeks her out. in a way they kind of adopt each other

why does her voice get so tender goddamnit Hahn. you know Agatha is thinking about Nicky and having so many feels

this whole dynamic really hits differently now, doesn't it?

her body language with Monica is so threatening, she's containing herself but you can see she wants to KILL

At this point Monica and SWORD are approaching and there's no much time left, so Agatha takes another big risk and openly approaches Wanda - or actually, not *much* more openly. She goes from over-the-top neighbor to over-the-top witch, the same trick she always uses, except she never went again someone as scary powerful as Wanda. She is truly gambling here, and you can tell by how rigid her body language is. She's projecting strength more than feeling it, and I think she's using señor Scratchy both as a prop for her villain persona (hilarious. that's a cuddly bunny, you idiot!) and also as moral strength, she's holding him like a shield.

^^Agatha when she's purposely being a clown and fucking with people

^^the real Agatha, razor-focused, serious, and, more often than not, cruel.

Episode 8. We now know that Evanora hates Agatha because she was born with succubus powers - born different, born evil, queer analogies abound. Jac Schaeffer says that Agatha has never been loved by her mother or really by anyone before she met Rio, so let's just sit on that.

Here we have a very young Agatha, still a teenager, already up to mischief. Interesting that Evanora does not mention her killing anyone quite yet, Agatha's crimes are about seeking knowledge, something she'll keep doing all her life. She's already a self-fulfilled prophecy, she's being bad and going against her coven because her coven calls her bad and pushes her away. This is supposedly her family, her sisters, her community. She committed a bloodless crime, and they're about to execute her for it.

She denies, Evanora calls her out. Agatha is already refining her greatest skill: deception.

Can she control it? Did they ever try to teach her? And why is she talking about her powers now? She is not being executed for stealing at all, is she? And she knows it. (Also I LOVE that when Agatha is at her lowest she resorts to beg. Her survival instincts are stronger than anything, even her pride, she is self-centered to her very core. That's the only way she could ever survive.)

Evanora starts chanting "mors monstrum innaturale", death to the unnatural monster. And, I'm sorry, that's incredibly fucked up. It gets more fucked up the more I think about it.

"Watch this, Lisa. You can actually pinpoint the second when her heart rips in half."

The coven in an excess of prudence must have decided to kill Agatha in a joint effort, just in case her powers are too much for one witch or two. They thought they would destroy the so called evil with their moral superiority, they actually had no idea of what Agatha was capable of, and by her shocked expression, neither did she - she was never allowed to explore her abilities, not to such an extent anyway.

That's the same expression again, completely focused and merciless. I know I'm repeating myself but the real Agatha is anything but bombastic. Her emotions are subtle but formidable.

When I first watched this scene 3 years ago I came to the conclusion that Agatha was conning the Salemites in order to kill them. She was absolutely not. She is shell-shocked at what happened.

Hahn is very deliberately making understated choices here. No evil cackling, no gloating, just contempt and bitterness.

And I'm running out of space again but it was worth it, this scene was so interesting to analyze. Hopefully part 3 will be the last one for Wandavision

go to part 3

[wonwovy]

𐔌 JWW ⋮ BABYDOLL ⸝⸝

⋆.˚ warning ! this content contains nsfw, if you are a minor please do not interact. — dom!wonwoo x sub!reader ‹ wc : 1.4k

oh you are totally fucked right now.

sitting over your lovely (monster) boyfriend’s lap on the verge of crying as he abused your poor little hole that oozed of your milky coloured cum.

I mean yes you DID tell him to be more rougher in your not so innocent activities however never in a million years have you seen this side of him.

but it was so fucking hot, so you just sat there prettily on his lap begging him to give you more. “p-please w-won” you sniffled.

“awh is my babydoll that hungry for cock hm? baby can’t think anymore can’t she?” he continued to taunt you.

unfortunately he was right you couldn’t think of anything but his cock. you wanted it. no you needed it, fuck even if it was soft you just wanted it in your pussy deep.

so the only thing you did was just blabber a series of begging & his name.

his fingers were almost magic on your pretty swollen cunt, plunging deep inside then out of you. “f-fuu-“ you shortly cut off by a painful yet pleasurable smack to your glistening clit.

which made you obviously scream as hot tears rolled down your flushed cheeks.

“uh uh, sweetheart no cussing, want you to be my good girl now” his hand caressed your back to your rear, giving it a quick slap before proceeding to thrust his fingers deep in you.

“think you can cum f’me, sweets?” he whispered, scissoring his fingers in you, making your toes curl while your eyes rolled.

In contrast you were definitely too fucked out to answer wonwoo.

and with a strained moan from your side, wonwoo was definitely not satisfied with your answer. “answer me, you ungrateful little slut.” his hand rattled off to your hair, pulling it roughly causing you to squeal.

“I’m gonna ask again, angel.” he breathed into your ear. “can you cum for me, baby.” his voice coming up as sweet once he asked a second time but it was anything but sweet.

“y-yes won” you croaked out as a fresh batch of hot tears streamed down you pretty face.

“that’s my prettiest girl mmph? being so good for your wonnie.” he said, a jeering pout forming on his stupid handsome face.

“ass up, babydoll.” he propped his elbows on the couch, hands sliding to your hips, hooking each arm to your thighs, positioning his face to your pussy. “my cunt.” he whispered, hot breath hitting your clit while shivers shot through your spine.

on the other hand, you were fighting for your life trying to support yourself being in a doggystyle position but shortly giving up as your face squished into the couch, leaving only wonwoo as a way of bracing your ass up as he brutally ate you out.

“mmph w-wonnie!” you muffled into the couch when wonwoo suckled on your swollen clit.

“fucking pussy gonna be the death of me” he groaned before hastily going back on feasting on your cunt, working his tongue as he gave your folds long slow licks, spreading them till his nose hit your vulva.

he worked his way till his tongue came in contact with your fluttering hole. slowly thrusting in & out working like magic while you were wallowing in pleasure, the only words you could manage out was his name completely forgetting everything else.

“w-won” you whimpered out for him, hands sliding from your tits playing with them for a bit then gradually diving down to his deliciously brown locks, tugging on it slightly.

which made him absolutely go faster like clock work on your heavenly cunt.

whimpering out a few sobs was true melody to wonwoo’s ears, which made him go crazy.

“my pretty babydoll, are you gonna cum?” he chuckled, knowing your high was at the brink.

“mhm!” pathetically replying with a hum, just focusing on covering his pretty face with your spunk. pulling your thighs closer as much as he could wonwoo gave your folds one good long lick before spitting right into your hole “mine” he chanted, while you moaned at the liquid hot sensation that hit your cunt which ultimately made you squirt all over your lover’s face tainting not only his gorgeous face but glasses.

he moved close to your clearly pleased face, a smug ass smirk on his cum covered profile. “so desperate that just a glob of spit made you cum, angel?”.

wonwoo caressed your cheek before continuing “but oh babydoll you’ve made quite a mess didn’t you.” his finger wiped his cheek then smearing your bodily fluids on your swollen lips “I think my pretty girl needs to clean up her mess” he finished, confidently throwing his head, resting it on the sofa that has witnessed every single bit of your intimate moments between you both.

being the ever so lovely girlfriend you are, you climbed on his lap, straddling his thighs then wrapping your hands around his neck.

you face inches away from his, having a moment of admiring his features then leaving a few pecks on his lips.

after a few kisses your tongue slightly poked out licking his cum tainted cheeks softly, wonwoo groaned as the warmth of your tongue came in contact with his face.

upon hearing wonwoo groan, it made you whimper lightly before continuing to clean his dirty cheeks slash chin.

your taste buds savoured the salty but sweet taste of your own self, moaning at each time you gulped it down. Upon seeing your pornographic scene, wonwoo closed his eyes as he felt he cock aching, needing to be inside of your velvety walls.

“m-mm done, wonie” you looked at him with those gorgeous eyes that made him go insane. “that's my pretty girl” he praised, biting his lip “ i think you deserve that cock inside of you now, gonna fill you up till your cunt just spills out my seed” he said, laying you down on your back, not wasting any second in getting his clothes off, finally with his boxers being tossed somewhere in the living room wonwoo spread your legs in a swift motion.

aligning his big girth to the entrance of your arousal, wonwoo teased the head of his cock slightly pushing it in then out.

“wonwoo, just put it in.” you whined, growing impatient. “quite demanding are we?” he smiled from the side then thrusted his whole length into you quickly setting a brutal pace into you “o-oh my fucking god!” you arched your back, rolling your eyes till your pupils were almost nonexistent.

wonwoo grabbed your hands together, pinning them above your head as he pistoned his cock in & out of you roughly, making you live in an euphoric moment.

oh you were definitely rile him up to fuck you like this.

“pussy was made for me” he groaned, his balls sloppily hitting your ass, “my little fuckin’ cumdump” his groan turned into moaning out loud as he picked up his pace more as if it wasn’t fast enough for him but he didn’t not give single fuck about anything but prioritizing about making you ride your highs together.

“fill me up wonwoo!~, please please~” you cried and continued to blabber a series of pleas.

your boyfriend turned to your sobbing figure, which almost made him cum instantly by the sight of you crying out for him to make your tummy feel full of his dump.

wonwoo remained too focused on fucking your brains out that he didn’t mind you ravishing his back with your red manicured nails which complimented his back after bruising it up.

after some moments wonwoo’s pace began to turn sloppy as he felt closer by the second.

you began bucking your hips each time wonwoo snapped his hips deeper into you which felt like a whole new sensation for both of you, so much so that each time it happens your lewd sounds grew more desperate & intense.

wonwoo took one last final shallow thrust before gushing his seed into your perfectly tight walls covering each and every crevice of your cunt till his & yours creamy fluids spilled out, running down your thighs & dirtying the couch “this is hottest thing I’ve ever seen” he confessed as he admired his work of art that he created between your thighs.

you giggled, snuggling closer to him “never knew you had this side of you, won” you mumbled, voice hoarse from screaming his name all night long.

“oh you’ll be seeing it a lot more from now on” he chuckled lightly then nuzzled his head into your neck, enjoying the warmth of it.

“I’m certainly not complaining” you sighed, reminiscing about your dirty acts a few minutes ago, already growing horny again “wanna go again, wonnie?” you fluttered your eyelashes prettily. wonwoo smirked immediately at your question.

“is that even a question, babydoll?” he breathed heavily already feeling his cock grow semi hard.

⸝⸝ dividers by @/cafekitsune

⸝⸝ tysm to @dirtysvthoughts , @c-oupsie & @skyechild for helping me in this <3 !!

⸝⸝ psst.. here ! : haha so this is unedited so please bare with me 😓, also I apologize if this is bad, it’s been a long time since I wrote a fic LOL

[httpskuzuu]

Fault

i wrote this while watching apocalipsisminecraft :D

Anyway, I'm not very good at writing dialogues, so I hope it's okay

Yandere!Dazai x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

summary: you deal with the silent treatment after an argument.

tw: angst¿, toxic relationship, manipulation

The silence is simply punishing, it always was. Your body was intact, balled up on your bed, but your mind wasn't as lucky. The silent treatment was a problem, one that hurt more than you'd like to admit, but your still-wet cheeks gave you away.

It hurt you that Dazai ignored you. You had tried to distract yourself in a thousand ways these days: you went out with your friends (the few you had left), spent the days away from home, concentrated on your hobbies. Nothing seemed to work, it's as if Dazai had planted a seed in your psyche that keeps growing and growing, every day his silence was getting worse.

You can't win an argument because this is what happens, talking or complaining about Osamu's toxic behavior would only ensure you that wordless jail. You had every right to complain! Because of him you lost many friends, he distanced you from them in a way that made you only realize it when it was too late, after you had already cut the total bond with them and they didn't want to see you again.

You don't blame them either, if a friend had a toxic boyfriend and ignored you for him all day, not letting help them, you would be angry too. They have been very patient because they know the details of your life with Dazai well, but everyone has limits.

Now you are alone, even Dazai doesn't seem to love you.

You try to hold back your tears at that thought, but it is impossible, you can only cover your mouth with your hand to hide your sobs. That's one of the things you had tried to avoid, if Dazai really loved you he wouldn't do this to you.

He knows of your suffering and yet he continues to treat you as if you were a ghost, you can't help but doubt his feelings for you. You think that maybe you are just a sadistic desire of his, that he only wants to pretend to love you and then leave you abandoned like a toy. Yes, you are just that, his toy.

There's not much to complain about either, you're aware of your situation and yet here you are, by his side. It's not that you wouldn't have tried to leave him, you did once, but he came back to beg your forgiveness and you simply couldn't refuse. You become weak with just one look from him.

And that cycle was always repeating itself. Whenever there was a fight big enough to overshadow your love for Osamu, he was the one who apologized. You wished it was like that this time too, but it's not.

Know what, fuck it, who needs friends anyway? You need Dazai, it hurts not being together with him. It eats you up inside with anger and shame for letting yourself fall for his manipulation, but what else are you going to do? You're not going to keep crying in bed until you fall asleep.

You head towards the living room where you know for sure that Dazai is, watching TV. He doesn't even turn to look at you even though you are sure he heard your footsteps.

“Osamu.” Saying his name is a mixture of pain and love that infiltrates your brain. Sometimes you wish you had never met him, but you think better of it when you remember that he is the only one who loves you. Who else could love you with your attitude?

He still does not respond and a look of sadness invades you, you try to remove it, but it comes back each time. Finally you give up, Dazai already knows how weak and useless you are and knows well your character, so you allow yourself to cry.

You don't hesitate to lie on his body and hug him while you try to form a sentence, any sentence, but only incoherent sobs come out.

You don't see Osamu's reaction, you just wish he was as affected as you are. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the crown of your head lovingly. You missed him so much, you don't even know how you managed to survive these days without his love and touch. “What is it, Belladonna?”

You press your face against his chest as shame clutches tightly at your throat. He mocks you even your current state and that is like a stab in the heart, you feel the pain in every detail.

“You hate me, you hate me.” Stifled meaningless sobs come out of your mouth, but still Osamu manages to hear them.

“And why would you say such a stupid thing?”

“You were ignoring me! If you really loved me you wouldn't do that.”

“So now I'm the bad guy.” His tone of voice changes to a more distant one and his hug loses strength. In response you can only hug him tighter, afraid that, if you loosen his arms a little, he will leave you alone again. “You didn't try to talk to me either.”

You raise your gaze, an indignant one, which is accompanied by furrowed eyebrows. You want to look annoyed, but you just look pathetic.

“That's because you always do the same thing! We fight and you stop talking to me!” Pain trickles through your words, but Dazai doesn't seem to care enough to comfort you. “What am I going to humiliate myself for when I know you're going to ignore me?”

"Oh, poor little Belladonna, always the victim of the story." His condescending voice makes you feel like an idiot, you come to think that you really are. "Didn't you ever think I just needed space? Come on, you're so clingy and I was just trying to protect you from getting hurt.”

Seeing your puzzled expression, he can only laugh.

“Well of course you haven't thought about it. That cute little head of yours is good for nothing but victimization.”

“I- I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt this way...” Your voice trembles and his words linger in your mind. Maybe it's all your fault after all, you've never tried to put yourself in the opposite shoes and that makes you feel like the biggest useless.

The award for the worst partner in the world should be given to you, you think.

Dazai has no reaction at first, looking at you with those cold eyes, but they soften after a few seconds. He can't resist you after all.

Osamu's warm arms squeeze you again, you almost cry with joy thanks to how nice it feels to be held like that.

"It's okay, my sweet." Osamu ends up whispering near your ear, which sends a pleasurable shiver throughout your body. “Let me show you how much I love you now.”

and if I make a second part nsfw? 👀

[gl1tchr]

Do you think Paul Dano’s riddler is going to die in this universe? And or any of the other rogues (joker Penguin etc.) ?

That is a TOUGH question. I've tried to think about how Reeves used death in Batman, and how death is used in The Penguin to figure out who's *heading* towards it, and it's hard! Death in the Reevesverse is very indiscriminate. It takes the good, the bad, those trying to get better, those actively choosing to be worse. Is Edward's path leading him towards death, or is the more apt narrative punishment for his crimes being forced to continue living in his own mind? I think I lean towards the latter. I've always held firm that Arkhamverse Riddler is HEAVY inspo for Dano Riddler in terms of his narrative decline he will experience over the course of the movies. Beginning as a (still unethical and frankly delusional about his motives) well-intentioned vigilante genuinely doing what he thought would fix things (Early Riddler YO when he's still trying to go thru conventional routes to uncover corruption), to a more overtly violent and vindictive antagonist (End of R:YO and Batman 2022), and finally, into a severely deluded, broken man with very little self awareness because every moment he spends in introspection is painful. He must reckon with his actions and it is brutal, and THAT is his punishment. The quieting of his mind through death is a mercy for Riddler, AND MAYBE with the themes Reeves is going for, giving the Riddler PEACE could be a possible choice depending on what is set up in the second movie! Though, I'm leaning towards his narrative punishment being to live with who he is; Edward Nashton, The Riddler.

WARNING: I mention suicide by explosives ahead

AN ADENDUM; This is just something cool my brother thought of when we talked about Ed's future in the narrative and he agreed that killing him off isn't the move, HOWEVER, we explored some ways in which that could be done in and I really enjoyed his. I've talked about how I think Joker is rearing up to really HARDCORE manipulate Edward. I can't tell you how they'd pull this off, but let me paint you a picture.

Movie II, as we now know, will seem to largely focus on more of the mob and gang violence aspect of Gotham and how Batman will be applying his new philosophy of Hope-Above-Vengeance philosophy. So we don't *see* Ed or Joker for 99% of it. Batman's doing his thing when he gets a call from Gordon, Riddler has been acting strangely and has implied he has information that could give Bruce some insight (See: when he went to Arkham for Joker's perspective on Edward - he seems to know when to use these Rogues for his own purposes just as much as they use too) into whoever it is he's trying to find. A familiar scene, Edward across from Bruce in the interrogation room. He looks *horrible*, but he's elated. Bruce is biting back anger - the last time he saw Edward he was *pissed*, and that hasn't settled, but he's trying to be better. He's trying to have hope. Maybe they exchange some words, but that's not really why Edward called him here. Edward tells him that nothing can save this city. If his cleansing didn't save it, if hope isn't saving it, nothing will. So go down with me, Batman. He's got an explosive, rigged to blow, and while he smiles, he kills himself and attempts to take Batman with him. But he fails. What he does do, though, is cause a massive break-out, which Joker takes full advantage of - because he set it up. He wormed his way onto Eddie's fragile mind and convinced him death would be a release AND his vengeance against Batman. But Joker knew this wouldn't kill Batman, be that through some intuitive hunch or maybe he's familiar with how resilient he is. Either way, he will have convinced Edward to take his life if it meant taking down who he both despises and craves so desperately, but it would be a lie. It would just be to get him out. And he would tell Bruce as much - "I did that guy a favor - he was a *mess*, he'd shake my hand if he could but - I think I saw those on the ground when I left". Edward, always someone's punching bag, months very end. So, in that way, even though death is still mercy for Edward, it's still cruel. NOW I DONT THINK THIS WORKS NARRATIVELY ON A LOT OF LEVELS, it was just a REALLY chilling thought to imagine Edward's manic joy as he accepted he was going to die, but would finally hurt someone as much as hes been hurt. I liked it a lot and thought I'd share just for funsies :]

[chowdersinterlude]

Dunce

Denki Kaminari x Fem!Reader

contains: Fluff, slight angst??, denki and reader have a little argument buttttt you could never be mad at him<3

summary: Denki (being the show off he is) is always surrounded by girls, but never thinks to what you might feel seeing YOUR boyfriend being touched and flirted with by other girls

Cons of having a dumb but hot boyfriend (the internet's standards) is that every girl is gonna want him.

Since patrol day is kinda silent you decide it would be a perfect time to spend time with your loud-loving boyfriend<3

After you text him (of course) he’s IMMEDIATELY there, but where? Oh there.. amber yellow hair standing out in a crowd

But oh?, he’s surrounded by fangirls

You decide to walk up to him and pull him away, but as you try to he just swats your hand away

“Please wait princess, I have fans here.”

What the fuck? Is this mf stupid?

“Denki Kaminari, and I’m your girlfriend”

He sighs and lays his gaze on you, but obviously is quickly shifts to the girl in front of him who’s touching his chest

“Woah there, calm down ladies”

He laughs and giggles

All of this makes you furious, but ultimately if he actually loved you, he would’ve been moved out of the crowd soooo? You decide to go and hang out with someone else.

Y/N💓 : Kiriii can you meet me at our spottt??

Kiri : Sure!! I’ll be there in a sec💪

What a cheesy idiot. Anyways

As you walk to the secluded parking spot next to a specific park you’re met with crimson red eyes and a warm smile

“So I guess I’m always the last one huh?” You tease and softly nudge his arm

“So what’s up?” He looks up at the sky, puffy clouds forming unknown shapes

“It’s just my boyfriend being a dick” you scoff and smirk

“Why? What did denki do now?” He puts an arm over your shoulder and pulls you close

“He just doesn’t understand what it’s like to be jealous”

“To see people touching YOUR partner”

Kirishima tilts his head

“What do you mean?”

“Him with his pride just lets girls flirt and touch all over him”

Anger starts to build up in your lower stomach

“It’s really fucking annoying seeing it”

The anger slowing fades away when kirishima pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist

“Have you talked about it with him?” He says as he pulls away

“Well I tried?”

“He just brushed me off and continued to talk with the girls”

“Maybe we can confront him together”

Kirishima bumps his fists

“Sure you little idiot” you laugh at him softly

“Lets go” he pulls your hand

“Lead the way”

You interlock fingers with him and walk next to his side, doubt leaving your body when you turn to see Kirishima's determined face.

What an idiot..

“Y/N there you are!” The blonde exclaims and runs towards you

“I was looking for you to apologize..”

He scratches the back of his neck

“Denki. We need to talk” you let go of kirishima’s hand and stand in front of him

“W-what? Talk about what? Are you gonna break up with me?” His loud and clumsy personality leaves his body when he hears your words

“No denki. I wanna talk about some boundaries”

His gaze softens a bit from your reassurance.

“Denk, I’m your girlfriend not those girls who keep touching you”

“It pains me to see girls touching on what I call mine”

“My love, My boyfriend”

“You need to learn to tell people you have a life partner and stop being a dunce”

He nods almost frantically and hugs you tightly

“I’m sorry y/n”

You and kirishima both know this boy is gonna need a lot more than just talking.

[i-torment-my-favs]

I didn't exactly want this fic associated with my main (it's anon for a reason), so I decided to mention this on my side blog. I recently wrote a vent fic regarding the clones' lack of medical autonomy (medical trauma sucks ya'll) called "Just a Medical Procedure", and while Chapter 1 doesn't touch on this as much, I talk a lot more about this exact subject in Chapter 2 (yet to finish, but you've inspired me to continue it).

I mainly used it as a vent fic and since it felt like something that could actually happen, but I'm now starting to really think about just how little medical autonomy the clones have and the types of long term psychological effects it could have.

(TW: Gonna talk a bit about medical trauma)

The fic isn't exactly a metaphor for things like SA (as it was directly based on a real life traumatic medical experience I had as a child), but one thing that is common for those who have said procedure as young children is that they will later show certain signs of CSA, even if they haven't actually been a victim of it. While it is not the same thing, to the mind of a small child, the effect will often be similar.

It is confusing and scary and often painful/uncomfortable, and you feel like you have not control over your own body. Many who have trauma from the experience have even mentioned being held down by adults. It can feel violating and invasive. And that can be the case for many who have gone through traumatic medical procedures. Though it may not always be sexual in nature, it can involve things like the insides of someone's body, areas that feel unnatural for someone to touch. It's a bit complicated, but there are a lot of feelings there that result in feeling inherently violated, especially if the procedure was supposed to alter something.

I've talked about it with others who went through the same procedure as kids a came out traumatized by it, and one thing I've thought about as I reflect on this is that the brain has a very weird response to certain kinds of trauma, including this particular kind involving invasive medical procedures. I don't actually see as many fics diving into the medical/experimentation side of things in regards to Kamino trauma. I think it could be kind of interesting to explore the effects medical trauma have on people.

In a lot of fiction where they do non-consentual body modifications, there is a lot of angst and whatnot that is okay. But I never really thought about it in a more realistic sense, or it didn't feel very real, at least. Just more angst. However, the more I think about it, the more I realize the parallels between that and certain types of medical trauma. I mean, I went through a medical procedure that I technically consented to, but wasn't really old enough to fully consent to or understand what was happening.

I think it could be interesting to see it from that angle, especially since that seems pretty realistic for the clones' situation. A lot of the feels I went through/am going through in relation to this make me relate to the clones in a weird way. I think it could be fun to read more fics related to clone medical trauma and its effects in an almost more realistic way, since the feelings that can come from that are often weird and unexpected. I mean, a lot of the people who went through what I have have expressed having weird symptoms/side effects as a result.

I'd honestly love to see more of that kind of stuff.

One thing I always find both funny and sad to see in SW TCW fics is the clones not realizing just how fucked up their childhoods and current treatment is. Like, they'll be reminiscing on childhood memories and it'll be the most fucked up stuff you've ever heard in your life, and they'll all be laughing about it without a care in the world as their Jedi looks at them in horror.

I literally read a fic earlier where the first chapter is Rex telling Anakin he's a natural blonde and apologizing for it, saying that he understands if Anakin wants him to be decommissioned, and Anakin immediately loses his shit at the implications. He spends a good portion of the chapter trying to explain to Rex why the Kaminoan eugenics stuff is bad, while Rex is just kind of standing there like "???"

It's all incredibly sad, but also weirdly funny to see the clones be so chill about it while the Jedi are incredibly disturbed and concerned.

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Me when my life is trauma and mental illness all the way down but I am determined to make something good of it in the end

[definitelynotshouting]

Can I ask, since you mentioned agreeing 'even if under duress' - how did the Watchers convince Player Grian to join them in hunger au?

So take this with the specific grain of salt that ive never watched Evo directly (but have friends who have ((thank you wren)), so i know tidbits via osmosis from them), but my thought has always been that the riddles the Watchers gave the Evo Players were all tests used to measure cleverness and intelligence-- the whole point of them attempting to copy the mind of a Player into a Watcher larva in the first place was to try and avoid the insanely high infant mortality rate their typical juveniles go through, bc they dont understand their own limits enough to even know they have them yet. So they needed a Player they knew they could instruct and who would listen to them, and, well. Grian, for all he was rebellious and outright defiant of the Watchers, still solved their puzzles and only had to be punished once before he stopped trying to mess with them

What ive always pictured is after the dragon fight the two main elders of the Watcher colony finally revealed themselves to Grian properly-- i have this crystal clear image of the two of them hovering above and next to the central end island, looming over Grian, and like, these guys are big. HUGE. A good 5x bigger than the ender dragon itself, at LEAST. It would be hard not to feel insanely intimidated by that, honestly, especially when there are two of them side by side, blocking your entire view of the End from that direction.

Anyway picture that with the context of these two giant floating winged worms youve never seen before, who have demonstrated their powerful ability to manipulate code in a way you cant.... telling you that they have chosen you to become one of them. Thats an immense amount of pressure, both from flattery and fear, especially considering theyve punished you before for defying them. I like to think even then, Grian balked a bit, and while i dont have exact dialogue beats here, i know the Watchers continued putting that pressure on him (likely while leveraging his friendships too-- like ive always said, if Grian hadnt been chosen, BigB wouldve been, and i can absolutely see the Watchers offering to take him in Grian's stead) until he finally caved and accepted their "offer" of joining them.

Unfortunately, he didnt find out exactly what that entailed until it was far too late.

[makotonaegiunderstander]

do you ever go do autism crazy for something you can feel it in ur chest. like it’s hard to breathe almost it’s making you gasp for breath and jump around physically. got an adrenaline rush thinking abt Kirigiri.

[libraryspectre]

Gerard wrote the first MCR song, Skylines and Turnstiles, about 9/11 and it's the only song of that kind I know of that wasn't patriotic. Instead it's about acknowledging that the nation had just been through a mass traumatization, and being honest about what everyone was feeling. The lyrics are clumsy in places because they weren't the songwriter we know they'd become, but he's saying plainly what a lot of people were wrapping up in patriotism and sentimentality.

^ the very first lyric written for MCR. The awkward silence he's referring to is the fact that no one was being open about how traumatized they were. You could be sad, angry, mourning, but this was the early 2000s and people didn't talk about mental health. He's trying to open the conversation on trauma and tell people they aren't alone.

Can you imagine one of those sanitized patriotic 9/11 songs including lyrics like this, that just baldly describe the horror of the event? Describing how you can't get the traumatic images out of your head? Asking the heavens for intervention and expressing worry about the direction things are going?

Like I said, a lot of the lyrics in this song are clumsy, but I still think "this broken city sky, like butane on my skin" is one of my favorites they've ever written.

In future MCR songs he would continue this trend of looking the horrors right in the face, saying openly and plainly how bad things are. (He similarly refuses to mince words in I'm Not Okay, Cancer, and Mama, just off the top of my head). There seems to be an attitude that you have to acknowledge the reality of the pain and suffering you're in before you can begin to move through it - the entirety of The Black Parade is working through the fear of dying before ending on the conclusion, in Famous Last Words, that living is worth it after all. And I think that started here, in this fumbling but raw attempt to connect with people after 9/11.

Gerard Way quite literally felt like he was given a mission from God to save lives through art (read that interview where he talks about Joan of Arc), and you have to admire the audacity of that. You have to admire the audacity of saying "we're a band who wants to save your life" and meaning it!!! They wanted to save lives!!!!! It's both not that serious and deadly serious at the same time - the band doesn't take themselves too seriously as people or performers, they're not afraid to get campy and silly or make fun of themselves. But they were DEADLY serious about the mission statement. It wavered a bit after The Black Parade was so maligned, because it became part of this whole conversation around teen suicide and they began to wonder if they hadn't handled the messaging responsibly. That's a horrible situation to find yourself in, and I don't blame them for backing off of "this band will save your life" after that. However, there were tons of fans who back then would say "MCR saved my life" and still do today.

So, like everything with MCR, the 9/11 origin story is kind of silly on the surface, but if you look a little further and accept the sincerity behind it, it kind of is that deep after all.

"Gerard Way started My Chemical Romance in response to the 9/11 attacks" sounds kind of funny when you say it like that and it can feel absurd. Like I'm not trying to take it too seriously. But I still feel like when people say this they should also have to include the fact that like. He was there. They should include that clip of Brian Schechter saying "he saw the bodies fall." I know "person who took 9/11 way too personally" has become a joke and in many cases that's justified, but I think perhaps. This is a little different.

[cetoddle]

i love my new therapist so much cause she’s the first person i’ve ever met who takes me seriously when i talk about suicide even though i don’t have a concrete plan and haven’t actually made any attempts yet

[samuraisharkie]

not going to be online all that often anywhere (or if I am it will be sporadic) for a bit due for mental health/physical health reasons but dw im getting some help and I have people supporting me, just need to focus on recovering for a bit. doesn’t mean I’ll be unreachable or that I’ll never be online while I’m recovering just that I’m officially declaring that this is something I need to do for myself in order to actually make progress getting better

[babyfairy]

i need more friends

[ofseptarsis]

'These violent delights...'

The quote seems oddly adequate for a moment like this, even if violence is rarely as poetic as The Bard would have one believe.

There is no clear-cut reason behind what goes on, there is no overarching lesson: there is just repetition.

She is right.

The realization makes Tófi's eyes widen in surprise they can't hide, not when they are already way too busy trying to control the rest of their facial movements, when they still refuse to let pain show even if a side of their face has been severely damaged by fire and energy -epidermis burnt down to a crisp, pieces of it hanging futilely hanging by the side while a pitiful mix of damaged faux vessels, fibers and magic (barely) cover their actual gray, scaly skin.

It hurts, but they won't let it show.

(They might be a pseudo-immortal but they are not immune to pain, for that is a thing that never changes, unlike them.

Pain is always a raw, uncomfortable, invasive feeling, no matter how much one tries to get accustomed to it, no matter how much one exposes themselves to it, no matter how old one grows up to be.)

The only thing they can do about it is grit their teeth and try and power through it, focus on more important things than the way their nerves scream, the way the heat of blood dripping on their shoulder becomes indistinguishable from the heat of the blade.

She is right.

To say that it had been a one-sided thing is to lie; They were guilty of the very same thing they condemned her for.

Those weren't exactly news, no, but it's just now that the implications of it hits them: they can almost hear Seth's voice admonishing them for their stupid sentimentality, for their lies, half-truths and shameful realities.

'I regret nothing' they claim, only to be faced with-

'What about leaving me?'

Something in both of them shifts: her voice and the feeling in their chest, the harshness of her gaze and the intensity of their almost manic smile.

Do they regret it?

Things could have been different, had they not decided to act when they did, that is a fact-

-but they also know too much to allow themselves to dream of a perfect ending to the conflict; Batwing's and Comitessa's deaths had always been inevitable, would have happened sooner or later: the only choice anyone had had been between having those two be killed by them or by Seth.

But here's the thing: Seth wouldn't have stopped with just them (for satisfaction was not a part of his nature) he would have continued, created an absolute carnage and burned the Estate to the ground before moving on to civilians, to those that had shared the departed's ideals, to those whose nature was too weak, too pathetic to deserve to live in stolen land.

No. They did not regret it.

It had only been logical, it had been for the best, regardless of what Menodora and the Magic High Commission thought.

They did not know Seth as well as Tófi did.

'What about sacrificing your reputation for my sake?' she continues with voice hardened.

She goes on about glory on the battlefield, about victory, but Tófi's mind drifts somewhere else: to a private studio, to colossal rooms full of books on absolutely everything, to spacious patios and beautifully illuminated halls, to innocent smiles and laughter, to childish mischievousness and hope.

All of it had been gone in the blink of an eye, sacrificed for the cause.

Centuries of being a scholar, an advisor, of a comfortable life, gone.

They'd never be able go back to that life of simplicity, just like now, amongst the flames, they would never be able to go back to the same unconventional friendship they'd built over the last year.

That they did regret.

They'd never admit it, though, for admitting it would make it all real.

It had all been for the cause: everything they'd lost had been discarded for the greater good, in the name of blood-stained justice, so it had not been worthless.

It couldn't have been all for nothing.

And this- this was all for her: to make her stronger, to make her cling to life, to make her fight back.

The losses they'd have to incur would be worth it.

They had to.

The dagger at their throat fades into thin air, leaving behind only a brief flash of blue light, and then Moon's darkened hand, surprisingly, rests against their chest.

She doesn't seem aware of just how much they'd bet on her, how much hope they'd placed on her and how furiously they've refused to let go, even when she was at her lowest and not much has come of it all, when she's fallen victim to the same things that her ancestors had and has turned her back on those who needed her the most.

And they weren't just thinking of the Monsters, no.

There was a kid, somewhere, that desperately needed her mother's love and guidance.

Ah, mortals were so terribly short-sighted...

'Aren't you at least a little concerned what a grief-stricken woman like myself could do to you now?'

Tófi can't help but chuckle as they shake their head 'no'.

"What are you going to do, claw my eye out?" they ask, in strangely good spirits -that inside joke is somewhat soothing (or maybe it's her hand placement, who knows)

"It would grow back" they continue, moving their hand to meet hers and give her a brief pat "it will all grow back"

The damaged bone, the skin, the nerves, the fondness.

"You could try and kill me right here and now, but that would make for terrible PR" an amusing thought, that "the fire damage is bad but could easily be explained as an accident, badly maiming someone, on the other hand..."

Gossip could be fatal for them both.

"Har du det bedre nu, min måne?"

@menodoramoon

genfødte sandheder || Tófi & Moon

[cherrysnax]

was just talking to a good friend of mine abt this but growing up my parents had to constantly tell me “not everybody wants to be ur friend” and it took years for that to stick.

as an adult I think that lesson is now “not everyone is genuinely looking to grow and understand”