#if my body starts playing nice

[crxxxpz]

🫣

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)

[idontmindifuforgetme]

It’s never overstated to me when people are like “work out bc it makes you feel better” bc it literally does. I think what I used to get hung up on is making the perfect schedule / wanting to know what I was doing right away. But it’s also okay to flounder at first and experiment w things and figure out what works for you and your body. The important thing is you’re starting out bc your body really will thank you for it later down the line. You cannot keep pushing it off it will add up

[lovelyrotter]

can we all remember to just say 'oh no thank you, i dont like that kind of food' but apply that logic and rules to shipping and letting other people ship again

[daemon-in-my-head]

ALSO since it's winter and my innate need to be a nerd about music and browse music stores for new beautiful guitars I can never afford (3k custom order aahahahahahahah kill me cuz thats still cheap) is back I've been thinking.

Nr 1:

Gort strikes me as an organ girlie. But at the same time it would suit Durge much much more. Raphael lost his organ rights by being such a lenient little man at times. Like you play that instrument with your whole ass body. Big pipe organs are literally part of a house foundation. It's a massive and breathtaking instrument that's just absolutely insane and the tunes it produces are godly. It's also so inventive like, bro the instrument is a fucking house. Oppressive as hell. Thats Gort. That's just the mecha megalomaniac. But then its also positively divine and often related to faith. And its a lot of harmonies and shit mixed together like the Bhaalspawn r and it's rly just a blood sweat and tears kinda thing and it's just giving Durge vibes yk?

Nr 2:

This is probably exclusive to me but uh, modern Band AU whatever would have Gort play an e guitar and be capable of absolutely insane riffs and also probably frontman if we're honest while Durge plays classical guitar. And I have my reasons for believing that cuz not only r guitars awesome and very versatile instruments that can produce both melodies and chords by themselves the e guitar / classic mix also has this rly weird just durgetash dynamic. There are harmonies but there's also chaos and both are capable of being gentle and soft in their own ways but they're also played fundamentally different and usually take a different role but both are still very capable of breathtaking solos and I'm just being a fucking nerd on main rn and will shut up before I pull out my music theory power point.

[tracle0]

Snippet from The Crows Death!!!

[elfsyellowflowerzart]

very busy babysitting a duo of kittens (only two months old) the last few days but i shall be drawing when i return home (this includes requests)

and also if anyone wants to see the babies send an ask and i can post them in response hehe i have taken SO many photos

[succubi-tch]

Joining an all-girls group on discord has reminded me of why I hate women

[detective4blog]

I wrote more of those sweet yet sad bastards <33 emphasis on the sad part <33

Uh tw for slight self hatred!

Sebastian stared at the ceiling fan spin around, getting lost in thought. A dangerous thing to do when your mind is as messy as his, but he couldn't help it. He was bored and there was nothing better to do than dive into the deep end.

What was John doing right now?

Sebastian blinked at the question. The hypnotic sync his eyes had with the fan broke, making it's rotation look wrong. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes from it, feeling a bit dizzy now.

Maybe drinking tea or eating lunch. Maybe he went out for lunch too, enjoyed the nice weather. Probably wearing a nice jumper too.

He sighed, dropping his hand onto his face. The one time he would've welcomed harsher thoughts of people in the past, it had to go to John Hamish Watson.

Hopefully his bed isn't cold. Maybe he met a nice girl or fella. Maybe he's just got better heating. Either way, I hope he's warm.

He groaned now, rolling onto his side to stare out the window. It wasn't a nice view of the street at all, but it was still enjoyable. He could see birds flying from above rooftops, he could see smoke rising from chimneys.

Funny. Wishing someone is warm when I've pointed a gun at him.

Sebastian blinked then closed his eyes, huffing quietly. "It was one time. He doesn't even know." He muttered to himself, rubbing his temple. "He won't know."

Everything was quiet for a moment. He thought about taking a nap, despite the midday sun glowing in his room.

I could contact him. His email is on that stupid website. We could try again.

The blonde sat up, glancing at his phone on the nightstand. It'd be so easy to do, but he stopped himself. Getting involved with someone who was unfortunately very tied up into work was a horrid idea.

It could be for just one night. Feel good, mimic the good ol' days, sleep comfortably. I always slept better in his arms...

"God damnit," he muttered, getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom. A shower sounded nice. Maybe that stupid massage setting could steer his thoughts away from...whatever this was.

I wonder if he ever thinks of me when he-

Sebastian turned the water on blasting cold to nip that thought in the bud, biting his tongue to hold back a shriek. Too lazy to change the temperature, he dealt with the cold. Wasn't the worst shower conditions after all.

I miss him.

He started rubbing shampoo in his hair. Fruit scented; how fitting. Sebastian snorted at the irony of it. Maybe he should get a haircut soon, his hair was getting long...or grow it out again.

I miss how nice he made life seem.

He ducked his head under the water, closing his eyes. He'd gotten used to the cold water running over his body, making sure all the soap was rinsed from his hair and face before opening his eyes again.

I want to be ordinary.

"What am I, the living embodiment of that fuckin' song?" He muttered out loud, laughing at himself. "Forget that, I'm too far gone for a 'perfect soul'."

He shut the water off, snatching his towel from the rack. Army green; Jim must've thought he was being real cute with that. Regardless, he still used it to start drying off. At least it wasn't a rough towel, it didn't make his chest scars flare up.

I wanted to be with him.

Sebastian wrapped the towel around his waist, kicking his old clothes into the growing pile. He knew he had some clean comfortable clothes somewhere in his closet.

We were going to get a place together. We'd wake up and eat breakfast together.

He snatched a discarded robe. He was just getting increasingly more upset about thinking of the "what ifs" from the past and just wanted some damn sleep.

I want to be ordinary with him. No one else. Just him. He makes it look so lovely.

Sebastian laid down in bed, setting an alarm for the evening so he could eat dinner. The thought of contacting John came back to mind, this time the impulsiveness winning.

"Hey, It's Moran. Found out you've got a blog, wanted to get in touch. Hope life's been treating you well. -Bastian."

He reread the email too many times before hitting send and flinging his phone away. There was enough damage done to the blasted thing, getting thrown onto either the floor or nightstand couldn't hurt.

He makes the mundane look like art. Reading the newspaper, eating breakfast, setting alarms. He's a masterpiece. And I'm...not.

What a lovely train of thought to start drifting asleep to. Not the worst, of course, but not any better. Sebastian wrapped the blankets tightly around himself, burying half his face into the plush pillow.

I'm the paper used to test colored. Dried paint peeling off, colors that didn't work out staying around. The smell of expired paint soaking through. Used over and over, yet never discarded. I still have use. I still have blank spaces that can test a color.

Poetic self hatred. That was new. A bit nicer than the aggressive repeated words that would only stop after a bottle or two. Still hurt like a knife to think, of course.

Sebastian shut his eyes tightly. Trying to think of anything; some show he had seen recently, his favorite song, the stars. But no, it always circled back to John.

He'd listen to me talk about the stars. Listen for hours, to the point we'd both be exhausted the next day. Poor bastard must've really liked me to lose sleep over listening about the story of Orion or the difference between the Big and Little Dipper.

That got a chuckle from Sebastian, shaking his head a little. He missed being the bright eyed idiot that would talk about the stars with whoever listened. He was still an idiot, but didn't have the bright eyes and talked about the stars with whoever was closest emotionally.

I want to tell him about Canes Venatici and explain the different types of moons to him. Super moons, blood moons, blue moons...

Sappy. At least he was still a sap. He was starting to drift asleep, hearing the notification sound from his discarded phone but too tired to check it out.

I want to know if his eyes still shine when he smiles. I want to know if he still hates the smell of cinnamon but loves the taste. I want to know if he still remembers what I told him about the galaxy. I want to know if he ever thinks of me when he smells cigarette smoke.

Another notification sounded as he finally fell asleep, comfortable in the blanket tomb he made for himself. He didn't dream of anything special. The stars, mostly. How they danced with each other, even when both were dead and still shining brightly. How it was just like the memories of him and John in the past. The younger versions of themselves were dead but still danced together.

...

"Sebastian! It's been a while! Life's been alright. Got a lot to tell you about, heh. We could meet up for lunch tomorrow. I live near a cafe. -J"

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Some gratuitous pics of my favourite Tav/Durge, Drakira. She's a half-elven druid, having a little bit of an issue, losing herself in apex predator forms. It is difficult for her to stop herself from ripping things apart with her fangs and claws once she starts. She's trying to be better, though.

[famewolf]

the best part of getting to party with ppl my age was how well people knew their boundaries. the balance of being able to get absolutely zooted until the late hours while also all of us waking up before 8am to make breakfast and clean was genuinely comical

i woke up just before 8am thinking i'd be one of the first to rise but i was the 3rd to last

[diari0deglierrori]

Thinking about that post that said would you ever date someone who has the same name as you and might have to change my answer as I had ✨Thoughts✨ about someone I met tonight

[nomaishuttle]

y roommate broguht a friend over like almost entirely unannounced (sent a text 1 minute b4 they came in the door) and like normally id be like Its fine dw but i was cooking down here and i havent cleaned yet and in the middle of eating so i cant just be like . i cant just leave bc itd seem like im like ewww my roommate. but also rheyre VERY VERY loudly talking abt sex which again is fine but alsl i literally dont know the friend and im not like in the convo at all but theyre just like. talking abt it in th living room and they cn like see me they know im here so i dont wanna be like Omg can you shut up but also like. i feel creepy for listening in but also i was down here and they just came in discussing it so idk

[doublesidedgemini]

tw: you know the drill

When you’re feeling :( about your bod and then you want a snack but you don’t eat the snack and then feel :) about your bod

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

I'm 16

I am addicted to raw sex now

I'm 18

You really think I would have used a condom with you? lol