#I’m sitting here like wow I wish I could scroll on tumble but I really can’t devote any processing power to reading through posts and shit

[doublesidedgemini]

tw: you know the drill

When you’re feeling :( about your bod and then you want a snack but you don’t eat the snack and then feel :) about your bod

[kazoo5480]

Summary: Emma Nolan and Killian Jones had been best friends since they were kids. What happens when they begin to grow up, their friendship falling apart, but Killian is still in love with Emma?

Her mom startled her out of her thoughts. “You alright? How was school? She said and saw Killian walking down the walkway and crossing the street. “Was that Killian?” she asked, and Emma nodded. “Emma you have to say something, answer any question I just asked,” she said to her daughter.

“We have some classes, we talked, he asked to walk me home, I let him. He apologized, he didn’t explain it all, but he apologized. I yelled at him, told him he hurt me, and that was it. He asked me for my cell outside, and I said not yet. I am not ready for that” she said.

“Did that cover it all? Oh and I had a good day, no homework, I like my classes, and two upperclassmen hit on me and Liam walked me to class so that they would leave me alone” she said and her mom smiled.

“Ok. Dinner will be in an hour” she said and Emma headed up to her room.  Mary Margaret texted Alice, “Killian walked Emma home. Fingers crossed,” she said.

“What! Oh my god, is it happening?” Alice texted back. “Wait BRB, he is coming inside”

“Hey honey, how was your day?” his mom asked.

“Good. Fine” he replied. Alice stepped in front of him, “anything happen?” she asked.

He shook his head, “nope. But I apologized to Emma” and his mom squealed.  He smirked at his mom, “let’s not get ahead of ourselves, she let me apologize, and I walked her home. I’ve just got to follow her lead is what Liam said” he told her.

Alice nodded, “Dinner in an hour,” she said, and Killian headed to his room and laid on his bed.

Alice shot a text to Mary Margaret, "let's be patient. Homecoming is coming, I will ask Nemo to nudge him" she said, and her friend responded with a smiley.

Killian laid on his bed thinking, how was he supposed to be her friend, and how would he be able to fight against those feelings he had, and be in her life as only a friend. Could he ask her to homecoming, should he? The dance wasn't far off, but he thought it might be the perfect opportunity for him.

He heard his mom call him down for dinner not realizing that much time had passed, and Liam thankfully took over the conversation, and Killian didn't even hear his brother ask him if he was signing up for football.

"Killian, you in there?" Liam teased as he searched his brother's face.

Killian nodded, "yeah, um I will sign up tomorrow. Oh Dad I need new cleats." Nemo nodded at Alice and smiled at her.

"Heard you walked Em home from school," his dad said, and Killian blushed slightly and nodded. Nemo eyed Alice, and she got up heading toward the basement.

"And, how'd it go?" His dad pushed. Liam watched on quietly.

Killian shrugged, "Is it always this complicated?" He asked, and Nemo guffawed, nodding.

"Fraid so my boy. But you apologized, that's good. Keep at it, she will crack eventually.”

"Maybe you should ask her to homecoming," Liam said.

Killian raised his eyes to his brother, "Are you asking Elsa?" He asked, smirking.

"Probably, she is a Junior, but yeah I think I will," he said.

Nemo rapped his knuckles on the table. "Well, that's settled Liam takes Elsa, you'll take Emma," he said and stood taking his plate to the sink.  Killian gulped, his anxiety clawing at his stomach.

"Don't overthink it, Killy, just ask her," Liam said quietly.

Killian nodded, "Maybe next weekend. Ariel's having a pizza party at her place" he trailed off and Liam nodded.

"Parents will be there I assume?" His dad said, and Killian nodded, not actually knowing for sure they wouldn't be.  Nemo nodded at his kids. "Dish duty, I'm going to help mom with laundry" and headed toward the basement.

Killian finished loading the dishwasher and turned to Liam. "I have a problem," he said.

"Oh? And what is that?" Liam asked, leaning against the counter as he dried a glass.

"I think I love her," he said, and Liam chuckled.

"Killy you have loved Emma since you were in diapers. It's not a secret, only to her because you never told her. You're an idiot" he said, smirking at him.

"I don't want to tell her, not now like this. I want to just be in her life. I've never really dated" he said.

Liam nodded, "what about Milah? That girl last summer. I caught you two sucking each other's faces off a few times" he teased.

Killian felt his cheeks burst into flames. "It wasn't serious, and it never went that far man," he said.

Liam nodded. "Well, go slow. Get her off the market for homecoming and work from there" he said.

Killian nodded, "Thanks," he said and Liam clapped his shoulder heading up to his room.

He laid on his bed and opened up Instagram, he looked at her page, private. Shit. He went to Ruby's, which he followed and there were tons of photos of Emma on it. He scrolled through looking at her, saving favorites to his folder.

He bit his lip and sent her a DM. "Since I don't have your cell, at least let me be your friend on Instagram" he typed out and sent it. He ran his hands through his hair as he waited for her response.

A little bubble popped up, "Ok" and he got the friend request.

Killian sat up quickly, hitting accept, and his eyes nearly exploded. He had over a whole year of Emma's life in pictures to go through, things he missed. Holidays, birthdays, summer, he almost choked when he saw a photo of Emma being kissed on the cheek by their friend Jeff, a few others of them holding hands. He didn't like that, but he had to find a way to ask. Was Emma seeing someone, or had she been? Fuck. He was not prepared for that.

"Don't stalk my photos Jones 😏" came the message.

He shot back an eye-rolling one, " 🙄 a year is a long time. I'm allowed to look, you friended me" he sent it.

"If I wake up to a years’ worth of likes, I am going to think you’re an actual stalker" she was teasing him he realized.

He kept scrolling, buried in the photos was a single photo of himself, and her. Her 10th birthday. "How times have changed" was the caption, and his stomach dropped.

She posted that last year on her birthday, and a series of photos followed it in the post.

The first one was of them, her tenth birthday followed up by a ton of birthdays after that one, and the last photo was a picture of Emma sitting with a cupcake in front of her, she was making a wish when the photo was taken. Was that a coincidence he thought, he started the series of photos, and the last one a solo shot of her making a wish? It had to be.  

Fuck, he said and liked the photos. He screenshotted it and sent it to her. "Just workin my way back to you babe" he sent it, their inside joke from long ago when Emma's mom and Dad taught them how to dance.  

She didn't respond.

He sighed, plugged his phone in, and fell asleep looking at every photo she had ever posted. Moments he missed out on, and fuck he was an idiot.

The next morning he beat Liam to the shower and ate quickly, going out to wait for Will on the sidewalk, and Liam offered him a ride when Graham showed up.

"Nah, we can walk," he said and Liam smiled, and nodded.

Emma came out of her house, in a dress so short his heart might have stopped. It was buttercup yellow, her favorite color. He watched her as she tossed a cardigan over her shoulder as she walked, her curls blowing in the breeze, and stopped at the end of her walkway, likely waiting for Ruby. She smiled at whatever she was looking at on her phone, and he walked across to her.

"Morning," he said, scratching behind his ear.

"Hey," she said quietly, and just watched him curiously. Her phone buzzed, and she laughed again.

"What's so funny?" He asked her, desperately wanting to see what made her laugh like that.

Emma bit her lip and looked at him, his blue eyes were stupidly blue, and she caved. She showed him her phone, a photo of Ruby laying in a heap of clothes "I have nothing to wear!"

Killian chuckled and she shook her head. "I have to get going, or I'll be late," she said and he nodded.

"Are you waiting on Will?" She asked and he looked around, no sight of him.

"Let's start walking, I will text him and he can catch up," he said and she nodded, pulling both straps of her backpack tighter.

Killian knew this was awkward enough but he wanted to ask her. "Swan, I know we are just starting again, not over, but fresh, and I wanted to ask you about homecoming. To go with me to homecoming, that is" he said nervously, his tongue running over his lower lip as he watched her reaction.

Emma's heart did something stupid in her chest, and she bit her lip nervously, her eyes widening in surprise. That was not what she was expecting him to say at all. "Wow, um, can I say maybe?" She asked him, giving him a small smile.  

Killian looked at her curiously, a half-smirk teasing the edge of his lips. "Why maybe, it's a yes or no question, Swan."

Emma shrugged, "I am saying maybe because we are just getting in some kind of even footing here, but I say maybe with no intention of saying yes if anyone else asks. Is that ok? While we figure this out, and if it doesn't stick, can we just go with the group?" She paused, gauging his response.

She was rewarded with a wide grin on his face as he chuckled. "That's a yes," he said, smiling at her. "I am confident that it's a yes," he said and she laughed easily, rolling her eyes.

"Counting your chickens Jones," she said, smiling at him and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She watched him tracking her movements, she may have chosen this dress solely because she knew he would like it, and her heart was still doing stupid things in her chest over his dumb blue eyes. But for some reason, this whole thing felt like a house of cards, one misstep and it would tumble down.

"I can hope, yeah," he said watching her, the way her nose scrunched up, and he wished so badly that they could speed ahead and just be on that even ground already. Baby steps he repeated like a mantra, but her pink lips looked soft, and he just wanted to suck on the bottom one she had been biting for the last few minutes. Say, something idiot , he chastised himself shaking himself out of the thought of her lips, and her soft hair and that short fucking dress that fell halfway down her thighs.

"I'm signing up for football, are you going to join anything?" He asked her as they walked along, and led her across the crosswalk on Main street.

"I think cross country, again. Maybe tennis" she said, tucking her hair behind her ear, and he nodded.

“Is Ruby doing Cross Cuuntry too?” he asked, trying to avoid a lull in their conversation.

“Maybe, she isn't sure. I think she wants to do Soccer” she said, and he laughed picturing Ruby playing a physical sport. Emma laughed at him, knowing exactly what he was laughing at in his head.  “Mulan plays, I think Ruby could actually be good at it. Get some of her aggression out, and she is really fast” Emma said defensively.

“Ruby is probably checking out the girls on the team,” he said with a smirk and Emma punched his shoulder lightly.

“Bite your tongue, she and Mulan are really happy, I am happy for them,” she said and he nodded.

“As am I, of course, I want Ruby to be happy Swan,” he said. “So what would make you happy?” he asked, almost afraid to hear her response.

Emma smiled, “I am happy. Why? Do you think I am unhappy Kill? Because while we are getting a fresh start and all that, I don't have anything to lie to you about. I am happy, I want my license, I want a job, but my mom probably won't let me since it would interfere too much with school or sports, but I am not unhappy.”

He nodded. “Well, at least you know you have a line of guys wishing you were theirs,” he said, nudging her shoulder with his, and internally he cringed at himself. Emma huffed out a laugh, and just said it simply “I am not looking” she said. Killian felt his stomach clench but kept the conversation moving.

"Those are in the same seasons you know. I'd be at football while you're doing cross country. Baseball while you're at tennis…" he said and she looked over at him confused, her green eyes sparkling at him.  

"Is there a point to that observation Jones?" She asked, side-eyeing him, making her feet continue moving forward.

She should not be lingering on his comment about guys wishing she was theirs, she had an inkling that he was speaking for himself, but as usual not bold enough to say it yet. She was ok with him not voicing it if she was right because she knew there would be no going back if he wanted to date her. She already knew it, and it scared her.

He nodded, "we would be busy at the same time, free at the same times," he said like it should have been obvious.

"Ok, I'm missing the point. Why does it matter if we have practice at the same time, or are free at the same times?" she asked him, glancing over and caught him scratching behind his ear.

Killian shrugged, "I could come to watch you, or you could come to watch me," he said and Emma gave him a surprised look.  

Emma laughed, "alright. So you're asking me if I'll come to watch your games?" She said dryly.

Killian nodded, "Yeah, yes. That is what I am saying, or asking," he said, feeling his blush creep up his neck. "If you want to, ya know. You don't have to" he added quickly, too quickly.

Emma stopped and turned to him. "Say it," she said, crossing her arms, and waiting for him.

Killian gulped. Be honest ringing in his ears. "I looked at your Instagram. I don't want to miss any more moments Swan. So yes, I want to watch your races, or matches and have you come to mine. Friends do that for each other" he said, just leaving out that he desperately wanted her to be his girlfriend and kiss him before games and every moment in between.

Emma smiled, "Okay. Yeah. Ok," she said and started walking.

"Does that mean I get your number?" He asked, looking hopeful.

Emma scoffed, “Maybe. I'm not actively hiding it from you, but giving you access to my private life has to happen organically on some level, I can't just give you an all-access pass to me. Baby steps" she said softly and looked at him. “Besides, when did you get so impatient?” she teased.

He shrugged. "I just thought we could text. I'll take it, whatever you want Em, however slow, I am in, all in. I know last year that I put that distance there, not having classes together didn't help, but I did it. I am sorry. But let me make up for it, or try to" he said quickly and squeezed her hand.

Emma nodded and pulled her hand away, they couldn't just pick up where they left off, could they? No. She had to make him work for it a little bit.

"Why homecoming?" She asked.

He shrugged. "I wouldn't want to take anyone else, even if we just go as friends," he said honestly.

Emma felt her heart and stomach doing ridiculously stupid things at his honesty and she just smiled. "Maybe," she said, and he grinned at that.

"Still taking it as a yes. I'll wear you down, just you wait Swan" he said and smirked, his blue eyes sparkling at her.

"Hey! Jesus you two walk fast" Will huffed running towards them. "I've been like a block behind the whole time," he said and eyed them. "Where's Lucas?" He asked.

"Clothing disaster. Granny was driving her" Emma said, and Will shook his head.

"You girls, god. Just put a dress on and you're dressed. Milah was the worst at that, Belle too. They took forever" he said looking at Killian who paled a little.

"Who is Milah? and Belle French you mean?" She asked Will.

Will nodded and Killian desperately wanted him to keep his fucking mouth shut.

“Yeah, Belle and I dated a bit last year, still talk a lot, but she is busy, so we are still friends. Milah was Killian’s girlfriend" Will said looking at his phone, and Killian saw Emma's jaw clench tightly out of the corner of his eye.

"She wasn’t my girlfriend. We just hung out for a little while" he said to Will, ignoring the hurt look on Emma's face. He saw the photos with Jeff, now was the opportunity to ask.

"How about you Em, are you seeing anyone? He asked.

Emma shrugged, not sure of what to say. She had no right or claim to Killian, she wished he had told her himself in time and privately, but it was what it was.

"Sure there were guys, a few this summer, but nothing serious," she said and was thrilled at the tick in Killian’s jaw. She shouldn't be thrilled by his possessive nature, but she was. Oh, she was going to make him work for it alright, if he was going to actually pursue her he was going to earn it. She thought this over to herself as they continued walking on the tree-lined street nearing the school.

As they entered the building Emma waved bye to them, heading toward her locker.

"What was that?" Will asked him.

Killian shrugged, "progress," he said simply.

"Show her your notebook," Will said, slapping his back and running the opposite way.

Killian groaned, he knew Will had looked at it, asshole. Killian dropped by his locker and took that notebook out, sticking it on the top shelf at the back of his locker.

He never wanted anyone else to see it. His collection of sketches and drawings, comics he drew, but mainly the ones featuring a female superhero who was very much Emma Nolan. Sketches of her sitting in her window reading, her smile, sketches of her in general. He would die of embarrassment if she ever saw it, it was bad enough Will had looked.

Emma dropped into her seat and Ruby eyed her. "That's what you chose after that whole thing" Emma laughed and Ruby tipped her black hat and nodded. Emma rolled her eyes and pulled out her English book, and the syllabus. They spent the hour discussing the upcoming creative writing project.

The day went by too quickly, and Emma dragged on her PE uniform heading toward the sign-up sheet and put her name down for the cross country team. Heading out with Anna, they picked the same spot and began stretching.

Killian came out still sliding his tee over his head as he talked with Kris, and Emma caught a glimpse of his chest, his sculpted abs, and she practically dragged her eyes to the floor trying to push the thought of a shirtless Killian Jones out of her brain, no she was not thinking about the trail of dark hair that ran below his waistband. She swallowed thickly trying to refocus on what Anna was saying as they got closer to them.

Killian’s eyes landed on Emma as she leaned forward stretching her legs, and her shorts rode up as she twisted and bent to stretch, he groaned internally watching her chest move, and her boobs jiggled as she laughed with Anna. She was fucking perfect, he needed to keep his dick in check because it certainly wasn’t getting the memo that random boners were not ok in high school. He adjusted the waistband of his gym shorts where he had tucked himself up to avoid this exact situation.

He sat beside her and began his own stretches and she smiled at him as she continued talking to Anna. Mr. French blew his whistle and Emma hopped up heading outside, the three of them behind her.

"Did you sign up?" Killian asked her, and she nodded. "Me too," he said and she smiled.

"That's cool. Liam will be thrilled" and Killian nodded. "I'll only make JV but it's ok," he said.

"I think it's great," she said honestly and he looked at her like she had something on her face. "What?"

Killian shook his head. "It will be nice to have you there, and knowing that you are there is all," he added with a smile.

Emma smiled. "Oh I’m sure the Killian Jones fan club will start making signs for you," she said with a hint of snark.

"As long as you have a sign, I don't care," he said, glancing at her, noticing the pale blush on her cheeks. She punched his shoulder, and he feigned hurt. "You wound me, Swan."

"Poor baby. Take off your shirt, I'm sure girls will literally chase you to aid you in your turmoil" she teased and he grinned.

"Nah, I'm good right here actually," he said. Emma gulped, not daring to look at him, so she did what she did best, and took off running ahead of him.  Killian was shocked for a moment but knew her reactions well. She didn't want him to know something, so he ran after her, catching up easily.

"I think it's fair to say that you'll make the team Swan," he said and Emma didn't look at him. "Ems come on, it was a joke.

She slowed down and glanced at him. Rather than confronting him about Milah, or whatever he was dropping hints at, she chose to ignore it all. They weren't dating, she wasn't his friend during Milah, she had no right to let it bug her. She had hooked up with Jefferson, and Graham, so she had no room to say a word. The Graham thing would piss Killian off, so she didn't even want to go there.

She wondered just how jealous Killian would be over Graham or Jeff. On the other hand, she didn't really want to play mind games with someone she hated to admit was still extremely important to her. Making him grovel for being a dick was one thing, but she wasn't throwing conquests in his face to get a reaction from him. She didn't need to, he offered them freely.

He was a teenage boy, a fifteen-year-old guy, it didn't take rocket science for her to put together that the familiar pull between them would only increase, and that she had caught him checking her out more often than not, but she wasn’t sure that she was ready. They were not there yet as friends to even talk about it.  She thought about him asking her to homecoming, wondering why on earth, on the second day of school he would ask her when it was a month away. Her heart had a sliver of hope that maybe he had deeper feelings for her, but he hadn’t said wanting anything more than her friendship.

She had to trust him again, trust that he was telling her the truth. If Killian wanted her friendship she would give it to him, but she wouldn’t even let her mind wander to the possibility if he wanted more than friendship.

“I can hear your brain working out a puzzle Swan,” Killian said as he jogged beside her.

“No, no just thinking about something. I am fine” she said, tossing him a smile and was grateful when the whistle blew.

They walked in toward the locker rooms and went their separate ways.  Emma touched up her makeup after her shower and headed out, not surprised at all to see Killian standing there, but was waylaid by an upperclassman.

“Hey, you’re Emma right?” The guy asked, his brown eyes practically undressing her, making her stomach turn sour.

“That’s me, do I know you?” she asked, keeping her face stoic, and he shook his head.

“Neil Gold. I noticed you yesterday, wanted to introduce myself. What do you say to a date on Saturday night?” he asked her.

“Sorry, I have plans. Thanks though, it was nice to meet you,” she said, and breezed past him toward her locker, forgetting Killian for the moment as she hurried to drop her stuff off.

Killian stayed against the locker, watching Neil stalk off, and he watched Emma handle him easily enough before she took off toward her locker, not even waiting for him.

He caught up with her, “what was that?” he asked her.

“Someone trying to get into my pants,” she said back in a serious tone.

Killian whistled, “nothing gets past you, does it,” he asked.

Emma glared, "I was a lifeguard the last two summers. He isn't the first guy trying to get into my pants, I am sure he has seen me in a bathing suit. But I can handle myself,” she said and slammed the locked shut, and looked at him. “Lunch?” she asked and he nodded walking beside her toward the cafeteria, Killian trying to hide the smirk on his face at her brute dismissal of someone most girls would easily chase after because of the money his family had.

School passed by quickly, and Killian realized that since he had first walked Emma home at the beginning of the week, apologizing and being a supportive, flirtatious friend, that every day he broke down one more of those pesky bricks in the wall Emma had built up around herself. Their camaraderie returning, even if his attraction to her increased tenfold.

He hated he was the root of that wall, but he was fucking trying, really trying. After Neil Gold asked her out, he made sure to be a constant presence around Emma, just as Liam had advised. Emma didn't even snap at him anymore about it, she just expected him there and continued with whatever conversation they had left when he left her last.  Their new version of normal was ok, and he got to walk her to school, and home and his mom had even invited them to dinner, and that was nice too. Henry was super into robots and Killian and he had bonded over that shared passion of engineering.

What did bother him was that Emma still had not answered his question about homecoming yet, and when he asked Liam if he should ask again, his brother gave him a big fat “ NO ” as a response. Told him to let her decide, and if she wanted to go in the group as friends, that he would do it, and bide his time.

This weekend was Ariel’s party, and she was excited to use the pool one last time before they drained it Sunday. That was the condition, they could hang there all weekend until Sunday morning when all the guys had to come to help drain it.  They all agreed because, duh. Free pool, girls in bikinis, and no parents? It was a no-brainer. Killian had been talking to Emma about it, she was staying the whole weekend over there as was Ruby and Mulan, but he hoped that it would maybe take an interesting turn.

By the time Friday at 3 rolled around, Killian’s knee was bouncing up and down in anticipation and he grabbed his bag, rushing out the door as soon as the bell rang. He was heading out the front doors to wait for Emma, and he ran right into his brother.

“Whoa little brother, where is the fire?” Liam teased.

“Nowhere, just going to wait for Emma and Ruby outside,” he said. “Are you coming home?” he asked and Liam nodded at him.

“Yeah, I am staying at Graham’s tomorrow though, so stay out of trouble this weekend,” he said and Killian nodded, heading past him.

Emma and Ruby came out with Ariel and Mulan a few minutes later, and Liam waved at all of them, ruffling Killian’s hair in front of them, as he and Graham headed toward Graham’s car.

If Killian wasn’t mistaken Graham had winked in Emma’s direction and she waved at him. What the fuck was that? He wanted to know what happened there, he needed to ask her if it was true. He couldn't say a word if it was, but he found it hard to believe Graham put a move on her, someone he had known forever, pot meet kettle , he grimaced.

“Going to war there?” Emma teased and poked his head. Killian shook his head, “you guys ready to go, or are you not going home?” he asked.

“No, I am heading home to get my stuff,” she said to him and turned to Ariel.

“I’ll be there around 7,” Emma said to Ariel, who nodded and waved as the other three walked away from them.

“Are you coming by her house this weekend?” Emma asked him.

“Absolutely. I wouldn’t dream of missing an opportunity to see you in a bathing suit” he said and she rolled her eyes.

“Em, come on, it was a joke, partially,” he said smirking. “ Yeah, of course, I am coming, you’re going so I am going,” he said and she looked at him curiously but didn’t say anything. “Say it,” he said, tugging her hand to stand still.

“What?” she asked looking distracted.

“Swan, come on. What’s up? Do you not want me to go?” he asked.

“No, no. Nothing like that. I just didn’t know who was going was all” she said.

“Is there someone else that you want to come to Ari’s?” he asked her and she shook her head.

“Nope,” she said quickly, and  Killian nodded, tugging her along again.

“Are you ever going to answer me about homecoming? Or should I still assume that you said yes, and pick out a white corsage to go with whatever you wear” he smirked at her, noticing the blush creep up her neck.

“I haven’t decided yet,” she said and smiled at him.

“I still take that as a yes. So other than pizza, what else should I bring over there tomorrow?” he asked.

Emma shrugged, clothes, a swimsuit? I don’t know. Ask Eric, he will know” she said.

“Will mentioned some beers, but I wasn’t sure how cool Ariel would be, or you if I am being honest about it,” he said.

“It’s not like I haven’t been drunk before Jones, we are almost 16” and she laughed.

“Ah, so, you have been drunk. When?” he asked.

Emma got nervous, maybe she should tell him about Graham. No, don't do that now , she told herself. “I don't know, parties, I saw you at a few but I never said Hi,'' she said, staring straight ahead.

“You went to parties, saw me, and didn't even say Hi? Why?” he asked her. His mind was trying to wrap around the idea of Emma drunk at parties he was at, and never even said a word, he never even noticed her.

Emma shrugged, “We weren't friends,” she said. “I saw Liam and Graham at a few, so I am surprised he never told you” she added, and that cuts deep inside of him. His own brother never told him.

“We were always friends Emma, I was just too dumb to realize it,” he said squeezing the hand he was still holding. Emma shook herself out of the daze, tugging her hand back which he released.

“I didn't know that, and If you ever saw Ruby at one, the likelihood that I was there was always 100%,” she said, smirking at him, and he looked like she had hit him upside the head. He had seen Ruby at tons of parties, he could have fixed this ages ago he thought.

“I never knew. Were you avoiding me?” he asked.

She shrugged and glanced over at him. “I mean not intentionally most of the time, but if I saw you, then yeah I would pretty much stay at the other end of the party. I didn't want to run into you” she said and before she knew what was happening Killian was spinning her toward him so that his chest collided with hers.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, sliding them beneath the straps of her backpack, and whispered “I’m sorry Em. God, I am so sorry.”

“It's fine. We are past it, stop apologizing Kill, it's getting annoying” she said and released him and he let her waist go reluctantly.

“Maybe I should sneak over to Ariel’s tonight,” he said with a smirk.

Emma smiled, “why? Want to see a bunch of girls skinny dipping?” she teased.

Killian’s jaw dropped, “Is that what you guys do when we aren’t around?” he asked her, his heart beating frantically.

“Sometimes, it isn't like we haven't all skinny dipped at some point,” she said. “Do you think I was under a rock, having no fun because you weren't in my life?” she asked him laughing.

He had to stop images of a naked Emma running in his brain. “No, no. I just am trying to wrap my head around the idea that all of you guys swim naked together” and she slapped his chest. “I mean I would happily sneak over to sneak over if you wanted me to” he nudged her shoulder.

“We’ll see,” she said, smirking.

“Let me get your cell at least for tomorrow. I know you will have yours on you, and they won’t” he said.

Emma paused at the end of her driveway, she caved. “Give me your phone,” she said, and he handed it over. “You have to unlock it, Jones,” she said, handing it back.

“It’s your birthday,” he said, the blush creeping up his cheeks into his ears.

Emma’s mouth dropped open, and she shook her head typing the six-digit code in. The background was a photo from her Instagram, she said nothing. Ignoring the hammering heart in her chest, she quickly added her cell to her contact card, which was a drawing of her. She clicked it, and it opened up and she giggled.

“Is that me? Like a superhero!” she exclaimed and Killian rolled his eyes, nodding.

“Shut up Swan,” he said and took his phone back from her. He leaned in and kissed her cheek, “I will talk to you later” he grumbled and she held his hand until his distance required their fingers to separate.

“See you later,” he said and she turned up the driveway heading into the house.

Mary Margaret was watching from her bedroom window. “He kissed her cheek, she gave him her cell number. OMG is this really happening? Should we be worried?” she texted Alice.

“BRB!!!!!!!!!!!!!” was her response so Mary Margaret headed downstairs, and greeted Emma.

“Hey honey, are you still sleeping at Ariel’s?” she asked and nodded. “Are we picking up Ruby too?” she asked and Emma shook her head.

“Nope. Ruby and Mulan went home with Ariel, I needed to pack a bag with my swim stuff. I forgot this morning, so I came to do that. Figured I would get my math homework out of the way, and go around 7, is that ok?” she asked and her mom nodded.

“How is Killian?'' she asked, following Emma up the steps towards her room.

“You're fishing,” Emma said, narrowing her eyes at her mom.

“Maybe…” She replied and her daughter smirked.

“Have you answered him about homecoming yet?” she asked and Emma shook her head.

“Not yet. I don't know. I am not punishing him or anything, I am just not sure yet if it's a group thing or a couples thing. I think by Sunday and hearing the girl's plans will let me know whether or not I say yes, or no” she explained as she laid out her books and collapsed on the bed.

Her mom nodded and shut the door behind her. Mary Margaret knew that Emma was going to say yes, it may have been why she had already begun sewing a dress for her to wear. Her phone buzzed.

“He said he is swimming at Ariel's tomorrow with Will and Eric, you think that's ok?” Alice asked.

“I trust them” she texted back and got a thumbs up from Alice.

Emma grabbed a few bikinis and her clothes, and her mom dropped her off, Ruby coming out to say Hi to her mom, and led Emma inside. Emma was surprised when she saw Eric, Killian, and Will seated around the dining room table.

“Swan, there you are” Killian hollered at her, and she waved, dropping her bag upstairs in the guest room.

“What are you guys playing? She asked as she sank into a chair. Will cracked a beer and set it in front of her, “thanks” she said smiling up at him, and he nodded sitting back down and Eric answered her question.

“Kings, Em,” he said, eyeing his cards. “You can be in the next round” and she nodded, sipping her beer, looking at Ruby’s hand beside her, and made sure to keep her face impassive. Ruby was going to win, there was no way anyone could beat that hand.

“You look nice” Killian blurted out across the table at her, and she rolled her eyes shooting him a smile.

“Aw. Do you know what we should play next? Seven minutes in heaven” Ariel said excitedly.

“I am gay, and so is Mulan, not fair. If I want to make out with my girlfriend I will just go upstairs, I don't want to make out with any of you, and I have already kissed Emma, so she doesn’t count, Ruby said laughing.

Killian’s eyes widened at that comment, and he wanted to hear that story but not here in front of everyone. Emma tossed her hair over her shoulder and laughed.

She looked great, her shorts short enough to show almost her entire leg, and her tank top left little to the imagination. She had no makeup on from what he could tell, and he swallowed thickly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat at the boner he was now sporting and ignoring into submission, his jeans definitely tightening in the crotch.

“I agree with Ruby,” Eric said and kissed Ariel. Emma wiggled in her seat, realizing that Will, Killian, and her were the only non-attached people.

The doorbell rang, and Emma volunteered to get it, checking through the peephole, and smiled opening it.

“Hey Belle, I didn't know you were coming,” Emma said smiling and Belle came in quickly and hugged her briefly.

“Yeah Will invited me last minute, and I figured why not, I already got my math homework done so here I am,” she said shyly.

“Me too, I finished it before I got here, and I didn’t know anyone else was coming, hence my attire. I thought it was a sleepover for just girls" she said, suddenly feeling eyes on her and she looked over to see Killian leaning against the doorway with two beers, handing each girl one.

They played a few more rounds of cards before Ariel demanded they move to the basement to watch a movie. Emma was on her third beer at that point, but she had felt Killian's eyes on her all night. She couldn't ignore it, it was like his eyes were burning into her skin when she wasn't looking at him, or talking to him.

"I think you look fantastic," he said in her ear as they trailed behind Will and Belle, walking towards the basement where everyone was descending.

Emma stopped and leaned against the kitchen counter, the beer buzzing her slightly and she stepped out the back door onto the patio, twilight overhead. Killian slipped out after her, leaving the door open, and she spun to look at him, grateful she hadn't taken her converse off.

Her pulse quickened, he was staring at her intensely as he stepped closer to her, waiting for her to tell him to move, he would never make a move without her consent. His shoes were touching hers, standing centimeters apart, and Emma’s blood was roaring in her ears as she took in the look on his face.

Her green eyes looked up at him expectantly, her blonde curls hanging over her shoulder, and he brushed them back gently. He heard Emma sigh, and her spearmint breath was close enough to ghost over his lips.

"Swan" he murmured, and nuzzled his nose against hers, waiting for her to push against his chest, and instead, she pulled the neck of his polo shirt closer. She rose onto her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissed him before she could have another thought.

Her soft lips were pillowed against his, and Killian cupped her jaw with his hands, his thumbs stroking her neck, driving her insane. He slid one hand further down to cup her ass, pulling her closer to him, and she gasped into his mouth, feeling the stiffness of him against her stomach.

Emma had a dozen emotions coursing through her, his lips moving urgently against hers, the taste of him flooding her senses, she could hardly breathe,  and she absolutely didn’t care.

God could she fucking kiss. His mind was blown, the fantasy not even coming close to the reality of Emma Nolan kissing him. Her lips were sliding over his, they were practically glued together at this point and he wanted nothing more than to stay here grounded at this moment forever.

She shivered in his arms, and he was nearly about to push her against the side of the house when they were interrupted.

"Guys, grab chips!" Ruby's voice rang out from the stairs, and Emma knew she was giving her a reprieve in case she needed one.

They broke apart, and Killian placed his forehead against hers, sliding his hands back to her hips, staring down into her eyes.

"Wow," he said softly, and Emma blushed, nodding silently.

"Chips Jones," she said, shaking herself out of the daze she was wrapped in, moving past him back into the house, grabbing two bags and he grabbed her elbow, swinging her around to face him.

"Em," he said softly, and she gave him a soft smile and shook her head, descending into the basement.

Killian ran his hands through his hair. Fuck. He just kissed Emma. What the fuck was happening.  He followed her, sitting beside her, and Ariel hit play once chips and beers were handed out, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre began to play.

Emma jumped a few times, Ruby screamed, and Killian held Emma's hand in the dark, where no one would see like they were ten years old all over again watching Ghostbusters.  

Emma spent the whole movie painfully aware of Killian’s proximity to her. She wanted to take a beat, process the kiss, and what this meant. It meant something, it had to of, he was holding her hand in the dark, not cuddling her or being showy. He was doing what he always did, giving her space, but letting her know he was right there.

Ariel led everyone upstairs, and since they were all walking they took the bag of cans to dump on their way somewhere in someone's garbage can.

They all said goodbyes and Killian hugged her, "I'll text you'' he whispered, and brushed her cheek lightly with his lips going unnoticed by everyone.

The girls helped Ariel tidy up and they all decided to throw on mud masks, Emma sent her mom a photo, and they sat on Ariel's floor talking about homecoming.

"So, Eric said Jones asked you, Emma," Ariel said and Emma laughed.

"He did," Emma said, shrugging.

"And?" Ruby asked, munching on a chip.

"Maybe. I said maybe, I wasn't sure if it was a group thing or a couples thing, I don't know" Emma said thankful for the green mask covering her cheeks.

"Your chest is blushing" Ruby cackled and Emma threw a pillow at her.

"Say yes!" They chorused at her and she shrugged.

Ruby winked at her and stood up. "I'm washing this off and going to bed," she said on her way to the bathroom.

Emma crashed in Ariel's sister's room, while Ruby and Mulan took the guest room. Emma laid there for a while before her phone buzzed and she rolled over grabbing it.

K: Hi

E: Hey

K: Are we going to talk about it?

Emma bit her lip.

E:  Not tonight

K: Does that mean I can kiss you again Swan?

E: Maybe

K: I am taking that as a yes, and also taking that as a yes to homecoming too 😛

E: I didn't say yes

K: I like kissing you

E: It's still not a yes Jones

K: I'm wearing you down, I can feel it. When I win your heart Em, and I will win it, I am going to expect a medal of honor, and more kissing 💋, he typed laughing to himself as he typed it.

E: 🙄

K: Is it still okay to come tomorrow, Swan?

E: Yeah. See you tomorrow

K: 😘

Emma made a snap decision, she pressed call on his contact.

His phone buzzed. Emma's name flashed across the screen and quickly swiped to accept.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked quietly.

"You are dumb" she retorted.

"Over you," he said with a grin on his face. "I'm tempted to sneak back into that house tonight," he said softly.

"You can't..." she protested weakly.

"That sounds like a challenge if I've ever heard one Em"

"It's not. Seriously Jones."

"Sorts sounds like it" he teased.

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" she said.

He took a breath and thought of Liam. "It meant something to me. Ok?" He said feeling vulnerable.

"I know," she said softly.

"Just don't shut me out. We will figure it out together. Ok?" He pleaded quietly. "We will be there around 11, so see you in eight hours"

"Counting down the minutes" she replied dryly, and he smiled.

"Night Em," he said softly.

"Night Kill," she said softly, and the call ended.

His phone buzzed, Ruby posted to Instagram. The girls had mud masks on and were making stupid faces. He liked the photo immediately.

"You all show your true faces at night" he commented.

"@KJones0125 You are no gentleman sir"

"@RubyRed7645 I speak nothing but the truth"

"@KJones0125 🖕"

"@RubyRed7645 Rude"

He smiled and rubbed his eyes. He needed to sleep. He wondered if she told them, he would guess not or Ruby would have been texting him. He finally shut his eyes and tried not to think of Emma rejecting him tomorrow.

@holdingoutforapiratehero  @hookedmom @xsajx @kymbersmith-90 @kmomof4 @katie-dub @ohmightydevviepuu @lassluna @pirateherokillian @teamhook​ @stahlop @elizabeethan @whimsicallyenchantedrose @resident-of-storybrooke @therooksshiningknight @jennjenn615 @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @killianswannn @stories-enchanted @eleveneitherway @girl-in-a-tiny-box @withheartfulloflove @kday426 @lyssapup27 @swanlovato @kaoslikesstuff @djlbg @kristi555 @laschatzi @xarandomdreamx @lkles08 @wyntereyez @bubblegum1425 @xhookswenchx @yasbio2015 @tiganasummertree @winterbaby89 @wefoundloveunderthelight @hollyethecurious @let-it-raines @jonesfandomfanatic @searchingwardrobes @dreamingdreamsalways @oncechicagolove @andiirivera @vvbooklady1256 @gingerchangeling @everything-person @klynn-stormz @qualitycoffeethings @vampcoffeegyrl23 @enchanted-swans  @ohmakemeahercules @donteattheappleshook @bluewildcatfanatic @the-darkdragonfly @demisexualemmaswan @lavenderbudd @grimmswan @spartanguard @flslp87 @ultraluckycatnd @sarahpaq08 @thisonesatellite @captainswan21 @zaharadessert @mariakov81 @snowbellewells @xouatxcs @kiwistreetswan @batana54 @nadine200179 @probalicious17 @courtorderedcake @julesep3026 @jackieorioncat @whatthehell102082 @xemmaloveskillianx @jarienn972 @sthonour @linda8084 @carpedzem @pirateprincesslena @daxx04 @winterbythesea @artistic-writer @scientificapricot @cocohook38 @wisfan3000 @chrisilybrooke @pcrcabcth @captainswan4life85 @molly958 @kingofmyheart14 @badwolfreturns @itsfridaysomewhere  @fallingforthecaptain @lovethelifeyoulive1106 @onceratheart18 @strangestarlighttree @omgmarvelous @justanother-unluckysoul @anothersworld @purplehawkcaptain @jennjenn615​ @sailtoafarawayland​ @superchocovian​ @hookedonkillianforlife87

[connordavidscamera]

Living, Learning, and Filming Ch. 3 | Connor Brashier

A/n: one again, revised/rewritten. I remember loving this chapter a lot when I first wrote it, so I hope you guys like it too.

Summary: Someone’s falling…

Warnings: kinda fluffy

Word count: 2.2k

***

Week 2

“You want to pick the music?” I ask, handing her my phone.

“Oh, sure.” She scrolls through my Spotify for a minute until she comes across a song she likes. 

“So, what were you and Shawn talking about?” I rest my arm on the center console, hand up, silently asking for hers, but she doesn’t place hers in mine. I leave my hand there anyway, just in case. 

“Um, nothing much.”

“No? Seemed like something important.”

“He just um… asked me on a date.” Y/n says when we reach a stop light and I slam on the brakes a little harder than intended.

“He did what?” I glance over at her, but she won’t look at me. “Y/n,” I say, trying to get her to say something, anything.

“He asked me out,” she says again, her voice small. 

“And?” I prompt. “What’d you say?” I can see that she’s hesitant to respond, and just by that alone, I’m not sure I want to know the answer. “No, nevermind,” I say, looking forward just as the light changes. “It’s your business.”

We’re silent the rest of the way back to campus. When I park, I turn the car off and she looks at me for the first time the whole ride. “What are you doing?”

“Walking you to your dorm. It’s late, you don’t need to be walking out here alone.”

“There’s no one out.”

“It’ll just make me feel better knowing you got to your dorm. Okay?” I say, staring at her through my hooded eyes. 

“Okay.” She takes her bag from the floor board and opens the door. I wait for her at the hood of the car and without asking, I take her hand. I don’t care if she said yes to Shawn or not. I want to hold her hand, and as long as she’s okay with it, I’m going to hold it because her skin is so soft against mine and I love the feeling. Thunder sounds and lightning cracks against the pitch black sky and she jumps just a little at the unexpected sound. 

“Guess it’s gonna rain,” I say and she nods, leading us to her building. 

“Yeah,” she answers and just as she says it, the first raindrop falls, followed by a heavy shower. She squeals and I can’t help but chuckle as she hurriedly leads me to the main door and she struggles to enter her code with just one hand, but she never lets go, and neither do I. She finally gets it in after three failed attempts, but we’re both soaked through by the time we get inside, you can hear only the squeaking of our shoes on the linoleum floor and the soft squishing of our feet in the damp shoes. I can’t help but laugh when she almost trips trying to get up the stairs, but I’m quick to catch her and keep us both from tumbling. 

“Come inside?” she asks when she gets her door unlocked. 

“I really should get back.”

“Stay,” she says, begs, really. “At least until the rain lets up. I’d feel better about it. Please?”

And when she gives me those eyes, the ones that hold nothing but sincerity, who am I to deny her anything she wants from me. “Okay,” I nod. “Just until the rain stops.”

Her room is warm compared to the hallway, and the drastic change in temperature causes a shiver to run up my spine. Almost immediately after putting her bag on the desk, she goes to her closet and grabs some clothes. Two hoodies that look like they absolutely swallow her up, and then she goes to her drawers where I watch her pull out a pair of leggings. “You can pick either one of these,” she says, laying the hoodies at the foot of the bed. “They’re my dad’s, so they should fit.”

“Thanks,” I mutter as she disappears into the bathroom. She comes back a second later with a towel. 

“Here, so you can dry yourself off.”

“Oh, thank you.” I take the towel from her hands and she smiles sheepishly at me. 

“Um, I’m gonna shower really quick. Will you be okay out here?”

I nod with a smug smile on my face, “I’ve been left alone before, y/n.”

She rolls her eyes. “Okay, smartass. I’ll be fast. Make yourself comfortable. There’s drinks in the fridge, and snacks in the pantry if you’re hungry.” she pulls out a shirt from her top drawer and once again disappears into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

After drying my hair - or attempting to, at least, I pull off my shirt which has been clinging to my body since we got inside. I pull her dad’s sweatshirt over my head and try to pat my jeans dry. They aren’t clinging to me quite as much as you would think they would, but they’re definitely leaving me a little chilly. 

The stack of books by her bed catches my eye when I fold the towel over her desk chair. The stack is as tall as her nightstand. I don’t know anyone who has ever brought this many books to school with them. That just means you have more to take back and unload when you leave and return to campus.

I hear the door handle click and I know she’s behind me. “Find anything interesting?”

“Did you bring all these?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “I bought most of them since I’ve been here. There’s this really cute bookshop downtown. Seriously, it has a great selection. I go whenever I can get away from my homework.”

“So it’s a leisure thing,” I muse.

“Of course. What else would it be?” I smile as I watch her reach for her brush and sit cross legged on her bed. “Why are you staring at me like that?” she asks, looking up at me from where I stand near her tower of books. 

“What else don’t I know about you?”

“Quite a bit, pretty boy. What do you want to know?”

"I want to know everything." I say, electing to ignore the fact that she just called me pretty boy, even though it makes me feel all types of giddy inside. Giddy, what a stupid word coming from me.

We talk for hours about… well literally everything. I don’t even realize that it’s nearing two in the morning until I check my phone to see that Brian texted me three hours ago asking where I was. “I should get going,”  I whisper into her hair, taking in the scent of her shampoo, memorizing her scent. It's intoxicating. 

She’s dozing off on my shoulder and I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be at this moment than right here. Seriously, a blinding flash of light could swallow the world whole at this very moment and I wouldn’t mind because I would die with her in my arms.

“No,” her arm wraps around my waist. “Warmth. Stay.”

“Y/n, it’s late," I try.

“All the more reason to stay. Please?” she groans, basically crawling on top of me. 

I sigh in content because I had no idea her body could feel so comforting on mine. “Okay. But I have to go first thing in the morning,” I say, but I barely believe it myself because as long as she’ll have me, I’ll stay. 

“Fine,” she agrees.

We’re quiet for a minute before she mumbles my name and oh wow it sounds like heaven. “Connor?”

“What’s going on, baby?”

“I said no.”

“Hmm?” I furrow my eyebrows, looking down at her.

“To Shawn. I said no.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Because if I’m going to get to know someone like that, I want it to be you.”

“Wait, what?” I wait a beat for her to respond, but she doesn’t. “Y/n?”

She stirs, pulling at the covers and when I look down, I know she’s asleep, her eyes moving behind her eyelids as she dreams those sweet dreams that I could only wish on her. Those sweet dreams I can only wish to be in.

---

I stumble into the apartment as quietly as I can the next morning because I know Brian is asleep; he doesn’t have class until noon, that lucky bastard. 

“And where have you been all night?”

I jump, dropping my phone on the ground. “Shit! Shawn what are you doing on the couch?”

“Spent the night. What happened? I thought you just went to take y/n back to her dorm.”

“Yeah,” I scratch the back of my neck, “I did. But it started raining pretty hard, so she told me to stay until the rain let up. It just got super late and I uh… stayed the night with her. No big deal.”

He nods. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” I say, grabbing my phone. 

“What’s going on between you two? I mean, I kinda picked up on something last night, but-”

“Well if you picked up on it, then why did you ask her out?” I know it comes out kind of hostile, but I can’t help it. 

“Whoa,” he puts his hands up in surrender. “Look, I didn’t mean to step on your toes. I think it’s great that you’ve found someone you like. I just wasn't sure if it was serious."

I didn't think it was either, but I'm seriously falling for this girl and it hasn't even been three weeks yet. “It’s not. Yet.”

---

Week 3

I’m falling. I’m falling and I’m falling hard and it’s going to hurt like hell when I land. Because neither of us have spoken about what she said the other night. In fact, we haven’t spoken about the other night at all. And I don’t think either of us intend to. 

“Y/n, come here.” I usher her over to the tree in front of me, with its multicolored leaves that in this early autumn season are starting to fall, just like me. 

“Hmm?” she shows up behind me, chin resting on my shoulder

“Can you stand here for a minute?”

“Okay. Any specific way?”

“Nope, just stand there and look pretty.”

She groans, but slips from behind me and leans against the tree. “But that’s hard.”

I’m already filming when she says it. “What’s hard, y/n/n?”

“Standing and looking pretty,” she sighs dramatically. 

I shake my head, starting to walk around the tree. “You’re doing a damn good job of it right now,” I say as I round the corner. 

She covers her face, letting out a soft laugh. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?” I ask with an amused smile. 

“Saying things like that,” she mumbles, pushing her hair out of her face. 

“Why? You gonna kiss me if I don’t?”

She hums and pushes herself off the tree. She waits until she’s out of frame, until her body is pressed impossibly close to mine, before she speaks. “If kissing you is the only way to get you to shut up, then yeah,” she whispers into my ear and I think I lose balance for a second. Her lips press gently onto my cheek and I know I’m a thousand shades of red when she pulls away.

I want to lean in, so badly I want to. Because she’s here and she’s so close and it would be so easy to just capture her lips right here, right now… But it’s not time. No matter how badly I want it, I can’t give into these feelings just yet, not until I know for sure that she feels the same.

Sure, she’s given me signs that she wants me too, but how do I know it’s not still just a game to her? I started it, but y/n’s the type of person to end it. 

And thinking this actually makes me believe that I don’t care. That even if this is a game, I want nothing more than to get my heart broken by her if that’s the case. It would be a privilege. 

“Con? You’re staring.”

“I know,” I say, my eyes focused on her lips.

“It’s making me nervous,” she says quietly.

“Y/n?”

“What?” She questions, her eyes trailing down to my lips too. I can’t help but wonder if she wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss her. 

I take in a breath, “We should go get something to eat,” I say and I hate myself for it. In my mind, I’m punching myself in the face right now. “I’m starving.”

She pulls away from me, looking down at the ground. “Oh. Yeah, okay. Sure.”

I don’t know if I’m imagining it because I want it to be true, but I swear I see  disappointment in her eyes as she gathers her things. 

“Hey, are you okay?” I take her by the elbow before she can walk ahead of me.

She shrugs me off and I think I can physically feel my heart breaking at the subtle movement. “Yep. I’m fine.”

“Y/n?”

“Come on, Brashier. You’re hungry, right?” She starts walking forward, but I hurriedly get in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.

“Wait, y/n. What happened?”

“Do you want to kiss me, Connor?”

“Well, I-”

“It’s a yes or no question. Do you or don’t you?”

***

I hope you enjoyed! Please like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

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[hollandroos]

Hello, i love you → Tom x reader | Harrison x reader

 Soulmate AU

Summary: You’re only supposed to have one soulmate, one person to give your heart to. So what happens when two boys stumble into your life?

‘What are you meant to do when you promise your heart to two people? You either give it to one or keep it for yourself. Sometimes, you tear your own heart in half in the process of deciding.’

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: None really for this part :-)

You were never good at the whole morning thing.

You’d drag yourself out of bed by seven, force yourself into the shower where the water would either be too hot and cause you to nearly jump out of your skin or bone-chilling cold and result in a possible tumble. The latter ultimately made you realise that you’d forgotten to pay your heating bill again and the threat of more stress then need be would loom over your head because it’ll all come down to whether or not you had enough coffee beans left for a cappuccino or if you’d be left with having to suffer through the bitter taste of an instant.

Breakfast is always a rush with toast crumbs squeezing their way in between the creases of whatever shirt you’d thrown on, jam making its way onto your chin and the scrunching of snack wrappers between an enclosed fist. If you were lucky, you’d have some kind of fruit left sitting on the bench that was yet to go off and maybe you’d actually be able to find your headphones in between incomplete sheets and last nights washing.

The bus usually smelt like piss and if you were extra unlucky, the remains of last night's alcohol wafting off of a hungover man's coat and you were left trying to focus on the taste of the spearmint bubblegum from the corner store. On those days, however, you happened just to be thankful for the fact that you’d nabbed a seat before the aisle filled up.

You’re lucky if the coffee shop next to where your internship is taking place isn’t overly crowded. You’re lucky if you have to wait less then five minutes in line to grab the selection of coffees you were instructed to pick up every morning by eight am sharp and you’re lucky if the waiter that always seemed to flirt with you is on- not because you enjoyed being flirted with by a stranger but because he knew your order off by heart by now and didn’t make you repeat all seven coffees each time you came in. It was both a relief and a struggle.

Today you rush straight to the front counter, a coat pulled tightly against your chest and smile at the familiar worker there. He was a younger boy, probably eighteen making him only three years younger then you but still, the flirty smile he gives you upon seeing you halt in front of him is enough to throw you off completely.

“Morning, Joe.” You force a smile, the corners of your lips surely weren’t thanking you as you hold the look long enough for him to remember every single one of the drinks you were about to order. Today you wanted to treat yourself. “Just the usual, one on me the rest on the company.”

“Got it.” He taps it into his screen and you pull your credit card out, along with a loyalty card. “Having a good morning?” Joe fumbles around, trying not to embarrass himself in front of the older, cute girl in front of him. Someone he still achieved exactly what he's trying to dodge.

“I am, thank you. Trying to take in the weather before I lock myself up for the rest of the day.”

The man in the apron with a slightly wonky name tag hands you a receipt, opening his mouth once more before you go to walk away. “It’s a shame they have someone as pretty as you locked up in the offices.”

It’s a remark that forces you to do everything in your power to hold back a grimace from appearing on your features. The kid is eighteen, he’s awkward and probably drowning in school work. You were there three years ago, so you shrug it off and offer an awkward smile.

“Thanks.”

The little bell above the door rings multiple times while you sit and wait for your order and every time it rings, cold air rushes into the room and a stranger lets out a small remark about the weather. The heat pump begins an endless cycle of pumping enough warm air into the cafe before the door is opened again. It’s a cycle you were used to– one you had gotten used to on only your fifth chilly winter morning of waiting for a tray and a half of coffee.

Aka the only thing that you were sure kept your bosses from tearing each others heads off. Huh, maybe that was why they were so demanding when it came to their caffeine. But this morning you can still taste toothpaste on your tongue and wonder if your coffee will be too impossibly bitter and you’ll be the one doing the tearing of heads.

Tom walks in at exactly seven forty-nine with his hands shoved into his coat pockets. He swears that at his point his lips may as well be blue and the tip of his nose was frozen like an iceberg. He’s almost dying to get his hands wrapped around a takeaway cup, to warm the frozen nubs and get on his own way to work– like the tens of other people in the cafe were hoping for.

He barely notices the girl in the coat that scrolls through Facebook as he makes his way to the counter and orders his drink. He barely even notices the girl as he turns around and pulls his phone out to look through his own social media. Tom would hate to admit that he was one of those people too sucked into their phones for their own good but here he was.

Still, It’s crazy that, how many strangers we walk past every single day without giving them a second glance. He only notices her for the first time when an order is called and she jumps up out of her seat, coat falling around her knees as she walks towards the counter– right next to Tom. Tom wasn't one to say that two people fit together, but he was sure straight away that they fit like cheese and crackers.

“That’s me!” She beams.

It was nearing eight am and freezing outdoors yet she sounded so lively, her voice as smooth as melted honey and she takes the trays with both hands, already eyeing a certain drink he assumes is her own and he coughs, stuffing his phone in his back pocket.

“Can I help you with anything? You really look like you’re struggling.” Tom says before he can stop himself. It was as if he was drawn to her. That type of thing wasn’t meant to happen every day, right?

With more drinks then you wished to carry in your arms, you glance at the stranger but for a moment you find yourself at a loss for words. Before, all you’d seem was a stranger hover near the counter with jeans and a torn Adidas shoes. That small inkling you’d had to look up had been swallowed back by you and now you found yourself lost in the sea that was his eyes. Cliche.

“No, I’m good! Thank you, though–” But you must’ve spoken too soon because in an instant you drop your coffee, the takeaway mugs tumble to the floor until they hit with a splat. The bitter liquid runs under your shoes and Toms, temporarily staining the coffee shop floor and your cheeks heat up in pure embarrassment as people stare. “Fuck.”

The spilt coffee was pushed to the back of Toms mind as his mouth falls open, eyes widening in shock. It was as if everything else around him suddenly didn’t matter but you. You with a now coffee stained skirt and embarrassed expression. But he saw beneath that. He saw every little line that was etched onto your features and lack of sleep, that was for sure. He saw days of what could either be too much school work or work and the stain on your shirt that wasn’t in fact from the coffee that was turning your white shirt a disgusting shade of brown.

“You’re– you’re my–” He struggles.

You cough, choking on air as he trips over his own words. In a moment you believed you’d be tripping over spilt coffee if you didn’t get your act together.

“You’re my soulmate.” You finish for him. Gentle brown eyes that resembled pools of warm honey stare adoringly. You already wanted to take in every piece of him already from the creases beneath his eyes and at the corners of his lips, to the hoodie that drowned his hands and that one overgrown curl that kept falling over his forehead despite his attempts to keep it tame.

Soulmate. That word was one you tried to ignore, pushing to the back of your mind and one you’d jump over like a hole in the footpath because when the day came to use it properly, it’d come and here it was. Staring you right in the face. Finally.

He feels his arm tingling. The feeling could be compared to a spider crawling up his arm or ants padding across his skin and that’s probably the only part of it all that makes him feel uneasy. Tom hates spiders. But that feeling, the gentle tingling in his arm only convinces him further that it’s you he’s meant to be with, the one he’s been looking for as cliche as it sounded.

“This is– this is insane. You’re so pretty.” Tom bites his tongue the second he lets the words slip, fearing he was about to scare his soulmate off before he’d even got the chance to know you. “I’m sorry I don’t know what I’m saying at all right now, you’re just so– you’re amazing. I’m shaking, wow.”

And he wasn’t lying. Toms' hands were shaking, trembling one might say. But so were yours. You could practically feel his nerves though maybe that was your own. The little mark around your ankle is tingling, making you stiffen because it’s actually uncomfortable. For such a special moment you hadn’t expected that– what could be compared to pins gently breaking the first layer of skin.

“I don’t get dressed up like an office assistant every day if that was what you were hoping for.” You laugh at his impromptu comment. “I also don’t wear my coffee to work– however, I am a bit of a clutz.”

“Things to note about my soulmate, doesn’t dress up like an office assistant every day and is a clutz, noted.” Tom smiles as the word rolls off of his tongue again. It sounded all too fake, like something he was dreaming up.

Soulmate. The one person you’re supposed to spend forever with. Someone you’re meant to love for eternity, give your all too and receive a lifetime of happiness in return. Tom couldn’t help but wonder if it’d feel like they say it does to so much as graze your skin, if hearing his name roll off of your tongue could send his chest into a frenzy of love and satisfaction and if you lay together, close enough, skin against skin, your hearts would beat as one.

You laugh lightly,  “Things to note about my soulmate, has pretty brown eyes and rambles when he’s nervous. I have to say, we’re off to a really good start as well as things go.”

“My name’s Tom.”

“Well, Tom, I’m Y/N.” He swears your name sounds like gold, pure fucking gold as it spills off of your tongue and in his mind he’s repeating it over like a chorus– and hearing his own name is better then anything, to put it simply. “I would love to stand and talk to you more but I’m about to be late for work and It’s bad enough that I no longer have their coffees…”

“Oh yeah– right. Can I give you my number?”

“I’d really like that.” You lace your fingers together, doing everything in your power to keep yourself grounded though you doubted Tom would do anything but laugh if you started jumping up and down. He seemed giggly.

“Great, awesome.” He fumbles with his coat, trying to search for anything he can use to write his number on. Maybe it would’ve been easier if he just put his number straight in your phone but his mind was messy, clouded and hazy with pictures of you. “Here, just text me whenever.” He hands you the paper and you tuck it between your fingers and then it fucking happens, the very first touch. “You will call me, right?”

It was so cliche. You met at a coffee shop, you spilt your coffee and he was there to help. Your hands touched– gently grazed and you felt shock waves throughout your entire body and surely he had to feel it too, for only after minutes you were his and he was yours.

“Of course I will, first chance I get.” You smile through lined lips. As every second passed you got closer and closer to being late to your internship but Tom seemed more important than working some desk job. Scratch that, he was. You wanted to remember every little piece of him like the colour of his eyes and the scuffed Adidas shoes on his feet. And god forbid if you lost that crinkly, torn apart paper you’d never forgive yourself.

You leave the coffee shop with a skip in your step despite messing up the coffee orders that morning and a picture of his brown locks engraved in your brain. Already you wanted to send him a text, to be impossibly close. With an overjoyed heart, you glance down at his number scribbled down on a scrap piece of paper with ‘Tom :)’ beneath it, a little heart too to match.

Tom immediately pulls out his phone and goes to his contacts. A part of him hoped to see an unfamiliar number on the screen early but instead, he sends a text to his best friend and in the process nearly walks into a pole but not even that could wipe the grin off of his face. Love at first sight was real, it was what would get him through his day and the next and the one after that. Love at first sight had proved itself.

To: Jacob

I met her. She’s perfect.

-

Harrison forces himself up many sets of stairs. He could’ve just used the elevator, but he wanted to push himself– probably not a good idea considering the day before he’d worked out legs and the ache was still very prominent. Also, his apartment seemed to be near the very top floor and it was more of a hyke then a simple climb up the stairs.

He wasn’t going to complain though. Nope, he doubted the fact that his smile had fallen once since reaching the apartment complex. He made sure to smile at every one of the other residents, even helping the little old lady on floor three make sure she pressed the right button on the elevator before hoping out himself. He gave five dollars to the man outside and allowed a lost seven-year-old to use his phone to call home.

Some would say Harrison had a heart of gold but the boy did have his fair share of bad events too like the one time he got blackout drunk and streaked around the neighbourhood much to the neighbour's disgust (luckily not his neighbours). There was the one time he got in a bar fight too and ended up with a black eye for the next few weeks.

At the same time as Harrison was clambering up the very last flight, the elevator just so happened to ping before the doors open and you climb out– more like struggle with a series of boxes in your arms, covering half of your view. In anyone else's opinion, it would seem like you were just asking for trouble by walking around with too many boxes then what you could handle but you felt confident enough. That was until your arms begun to feel like jelly and you had to side step to refrain from dropping the top box.

Something was bound to go wrong, it was only a matter of time and since this morning– since meeting the charming boy that had promised you his heart you felt like you were on cloud nine, like nothing could get you down.

It wasn’t anything too expensive inside, but the objects were close to your families hearts. It was old photos in photo frames and vases that your mother had handed down to you. There was cutlery that you planned to store away instead of use and little pieces of china that your mother had refused to let you lay your grubby finger son as a kid.

Your arms felt like jelly and your legs threatened to give out so you wanted to cry when you found out that you’d come to the wrong damn floor. You groan loudly, not seeing the stranger standing by the steps with narrowed eyes.

“Can I help you with anything? You really look like you’re struggling.”  

You grunt, holding the boxes with aching arms. This was probably the worst time to run into someone and your mind was anywhere else as you focused on not dropping any of the items in hand. It could’ve been anything in the box from precious china of your mothers to plastic cups and forks.

“No, I’m good! Thank you, though–” You shake your head right as the top box falls out of your arms, landing on the ground with a thud before a terrifying shattering sound echoes throughout the floor. “Fuck.” You groan– then it hits you, a second too late but all too soon. A truth that had hit harder then the shattered cutlery.

It hits you harder then it had this morning when you ran into the cute brunette from the coffee shop. It hits you like a fucking train because you already found your soulmate yet the words on your wrist matched what he’d just said to you and by the look on his face, the words you’d just said suited what was printed wherever on his body too. Your mind runs to Tom with the lopsided smile and cheeky glint in his eyes, from the feelings you felt when you first ran into him to the happiness that soon followed.

But now you were standing in front of another boy– a blonde with piercing blue eyes.

Harrison Osterfield gapes, feeling all kinds of happy as he realised that you were the one. He was ten when he felt the words appear, only sixteen when his closest friends found their soulmates and twenty when he realised that he was the only one without someone to love and call his own. So now he was twenty-three and his heart was swelling with joy because he couldn’t imagine a more beautiful girl to be his soulmate even if he tried. It was as if already, he was more then head over heels.

Whether it be the idea of finally finding his soulmate or that the stories he’d heard from his friends were true. Simply being near the person you were destined to spend forever with could make you ecstatic and he felt that he was finally about to understand.

So he only felt his heart drop when you realised that you looked absolutely terrified.

Fingers reach into your front pocket, toying with a scrap piece of paper just to check that it was still there, tucked away safely between empty gum wrappers and spare change– that this morning really happened and wasn’t some figmentation of your lonely imagination. That Tom existed and he had looked at you like you put the stars in the sky and spoke to you like you were the most beautiful flower in a field of hundreds, all blooming and vibrant but he’d picked you.

But Harrison looks at you like you were the one thing that makes the sun come out of hiding every morning. Like you were the first breath of fresh air in years and he was experiencing proper air in his lungs once more and the thought of letting him down, making his breathtaking smile turn into a calamitous frown made your chest ache and you realised that he too was your soulmate, because if he wasn’t you would’ve been able to let him down but you simply couldn’t because the thought of hurting the person you’re destined to give yourself to fully is meant to be the one thing that hurts more then anything else.

Then Tom is reappearing in your mind and you realise that you couldn’t hurt him either. That your heart longs for both but we can’t always have what we want.

Because how were you supposed to choose between the one that looks at you like you put the stars in the sky and the one that looks at you like you’re the reason the sun rises every morning?

Your soulmate was a brunette with brown eyes like the colour of the coffee you spilt all over the cafe floor that morning and a heart of gold, with a light that could extend to even the greatest lengths - but your soulmate was also a blonde with blue eyes that reminded you of the rain and you loved rain. You could stand in it until you were a sneezing, sniffling mess. He wore eyes that told more stories then you feared you’d ever be able to hear.

“You’re my soulmate.” You say out loud, mostly to yourself then to him. The room is spinning, photos that you’ve marched past at least six times today suddenly look like mere splashes of colour and the railing seems too far away to grasp.

“And you’re mine.” Harrison swallows and your shattered goods don’t seem all that big of a deal anymore. “Where have you been hiding away all this time, huh?”

You’d heard every horror story in the book about people's soulmates and things going wrong but not this. Never this. How exactly was it, that your heart was supposed to belong to not one, but two boys? What are you meant to do when you promise your heart to two people? You either give it to one or keep it for yourself. Sometimes, you tear your own heart in half in the process of deciding.

Maybe you just had a habit of dropping things in front of cute British boys.

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[forged-through-trials]

It was already considerably late by the time I was done with my Thieves Guild Initiation, so I double-timed it back, passing through the Arena District on the way. Spying movement in the dark, I peeked down an alley, and spotted someone wandering around. At first, I thought it was Amusei, still lost and trying to find Amantius Allectus’ house. So I approached to tell him the test was over, but as my torchlight shined on him, I realized it wasn’t Amusei at all, but someone new!

He introduced himself as “Ruined-Tail.” He seemed kind of nervous. Ruined-Tail: “You know, that you are the first person who has spoken to me since I arrived at Imperial City.” Trials: “Why’s that?” Ruined-Tail: “I suppose that most people are bothered by the aura of death that seems to follow me like a bad smell.” Trials: “...oh.” I frowned thoughtfully. “Probably not a good idea to lead with that line, if you’re trying to make friends.” Ruined-Tail: “A certain fetid scent that cannot be cleansed by a swim in a river. It stains my very scales.” Trials: “Have you tried Sload Soap? That stuff can get anything out!” Ruined-Tail: “...” He chortled softly. “You are quite unflappable, my friend. Here I speak so frankly of death, and you make quips about it.” Trials: I puffed my chest out. “I am not intimidated by death!” I said... before deflating almost immediately. “I’m lying, of course. I’m very intimidated by death. Dying hurts!” Ruined-Tail: “And yet, you seem so at ease around me. I think you are braver than you give yourself credit for.” He fell silent for a moment, and it seemed like he was struggling to find the confidence to ask the question that had plagued him all along. “I... I have a proposition for you, Stranger. If you would hear it.” Trials: “Sure! Listening costs nothing, and I’m actually good at that!” Ruined-Tail: “I wish to see the land of Cyrodiil, but I lack the courage to travel it by myself. I am a stranger to this land, and fret over mistakes I would make.” Trials: “I hear ya loud and clear, friend. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth since I washed ashore.” Ruined-Tail: “Then you understand my dilemma. Though it may, itself, be a faux-pas, I’d like to propose that we travel together. I offer you my skills as a Battlemage, and perhaps together, we will make fewer mistakes than we would apart.” Trials: That gave me pause, and I folded my arms behind my back, snout pursed in thought. “I’ve never really had a partner before. You know what, you’re on! I’d welcome your companionship.” And just like that, I’d made a new friend! Our first stop will be collecting his gear from the Battered Dragon Inn, a little dive out in Weye, passed the more popular Wawnet Inn.

On the way, I noticed this poster, explaining that there was apparently something wrong with the city’s aqueducts that I was so admiring just the other day. The usual caretaker has fallen ill, and as a result, the aqueducts have fallen into disrepair. Sounds like something I could look into the following morning. Could be a paying job, and I can’t imagine it’ll be all that dangerous.

It was almost morning by the time we arrived at the Battered Dragon. I noticed this inn before, but now that I have a chance to look at it in more detail, I can see why the Wawnet Inn is more popular. Though, the sign is really nice! Detailed, and it matches the name of the place nicely.

As it was still pretty dark, Ruined-Tail suggested that we retire here until it was morning proper. Trials: “What’s the matter? Scared of the dark?” Ruined-Tail: “The Dark is an old friend of mine, who unfortunately has other friends of whom I’m not overly fond.” Trials: “...uh, just tell him not to invite them.” Ruined-Tail: “Alas, they often come unannounced and the Dark is too polite to tell them to leave. “In the past, the Dark has comforted me, and kept me hidden from my enemies, and often from myself.” Trials: “...” I tilted my head at him, frowning thoughtfully. “Have you ever considered writing any of this stuff down? I think it would be a big hit with people who read Tumble-Scrolls.” Ruined-Tail: “Alas, I’d prefer to keep a low profile. I am not the only one that takes refuge in the Dark, and I need to be wary of who I might bump into whilst enjoying its embrace. He suggested I rent a room while he found us a place to sit, so I crossed the room, looking for the inn-keeper.

First up, in a corner of the room, I met this quartet. They call themselves “The Shadowseekers” and are a mercenary group. The one in the heavy armor is their leader, “Twilight.” In front of him is their mage, “Midnight.” To Twilight’s left is their rogue, “Shade”. And last, in the corner in the back, is “Gloom”, whom Twilight described as their “Specialist Arcanist.”

Twilight: He spoke without even looking at me. A cold and calculating look on his face. “I was wondering how long it would be before you approached me.” Trials: “...come again?” Twilight: “You have the appearance of a fellow merc, and I knew that you wouldn’t be able to resist exchanging a few pleasantries with me.” Trials: “...wow! You think I look like a merc? Because most people seem to think I look like a dork.” Twilight: “Never said you weren’t a dorky merc.” A grin spread across his face and he extended a hand for me to shake. I frowned, but shook his hand all the same. I can handle a little good natured ribbing, and aside from the quips, Twilight was friendly enough as we two exchanged words, and he introduced me to his crew. They’re apparently based out of Cheydinhal, but they like to do all of their business meetings here, as well as this place just being their favorite dive to enjoy drinks in.

Afterward, I finally found the hostess, Ra’shana. A pleasant woman all around, and her inn had such affordable rates at just five gold for the night. I rented the room, and sat down with Ruined-Tail, ready to while away the last of the night, just relaxing.