#if i make a fool of myself who cares!!!

[canongf]

LIV!! Im so proud of you and super excited for you about your acting classes! I really hope you have a blast with them, I know you’re gonna be absolutely amazing!! 🫶🫶🫶

JOCELYN!!! this is so sweet, thank you so much!!! i just keep getting more and more excited!!! i think it's gonna be a lot of fun, the coach seems really cool and i'm so ready to give it a go!!! i can't wait to update you after!!!

[chilapis]

Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.

[lazzarella]

Not sure if tumblr is the least embarrassing social media to essentially be talking to one’s self or the most 🤔

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

lauretta & carlo before marriage. to me

[floorpancakes]

when you excitedly bring up holic to somebody on the internet and they reply 'oh yeah, i vaguely remember that thing from when i was 12 ive certainly seen it i guess' and you just have to pretend you werent excited and be like 'haha yeah! nvm... '

[imustbesogay]

I honestly just want to disappear...

[adore-gregor]

study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true

[betasuppe]

Hi, I often see your posts where you express the urge to delete your works off the internet. I really like your style, it is very clean and recognizable (although it's not the point of this ask). I'd like to share a situation that happened to me several days ago. I have some fandom works on the web, which are around ten years old, some older and some newer (they are, admittedly, very low quality, I abstain from reading them because of cringe). There is a counter on the site, it shows daily views. I used to check it maniacally back than, so much it is still in my top viewed sites. So when I was feeling bad - when I AM feeling bad, I usually check this counter. And you know what? Even after 10 years. Even in a fandom that is wayyyyy less active than before. I get 1-2 views a day. Sometimes someone comes and binges half of my works, even, leaving thumbs ups in their wake. That is to say. There are always cake lovers in the internet (there are also cake haters, but we don't have a negative like button do we?) So even the works you consider cringe may find their audience, in several years EASILY (but probably even less). Yes, some of the things are history, but it is always a pleasure to receive a like or a comment, even on older works. Maybe if you think your art gets less recognition than it deserves, you may switch social media platforms and have them up on a more specialized site or archive (although I currently don't know any better platform for that than tumblr). To sum it all up, give your art a little time and it will certainly find its lover. You may derive some pleasurable emotions from that as well. You are cool, keep it up 👍

Hey thanks so much♡ I truly appreciate your kindness & suggestion here as well.

I don't think I can find a decent way to rationalize my thought process [beyond: depressed with having impossibly high standards at all times ha ha] but it's like.

When I get realization how god awful or disappointing a drawing is, it's as tho I haven't registered anything beyond that it needs to be destroyed. It's like a sickness & shame & disgust I can't explain, but can only be relieved by destroying whatever I've just created.

I wish I could make sense of it. I wish I could think further in the long term besides "god, this drawing sucks, I need to obliterate it so it's like it never existed in the first place" but.

When you are unwillingly consumed by your own insurmountable flaws, it's impossible to argue with & destruction is the only path at hand.

& sure, someone somewhere down the line might see one of my drawings later & love it, but the desperate need to be invisible & just vanish in shame of myself is. A lot.

[possiblytracker]

got dragged to a pub quiz with some of my housemates buddies and was fully convinced i was not really gonna have a good time and itd probably be too loud and i wouldnt be much help etc etc etc bc my mood is still not great but i forgot im a competitive motherfucker when it comes down to it and the sheer rush of euphoria that comes from knowing a few more obscure answers that had the rest of the room hemming and hawing is gonna carry me through the next week probably

[sibelin]

maybe i am a gatekeeper at heart <3

[ishikawayukis]

thought about making a promo post because i’m very close to a milestone but also i’m ridiculously shy about it LMAO

[fwob]

rough week

[lithuilgreenleaf]

FUCK am i bad at talking to people

[elithegnome]

.

[angeltism]

i get the everyone leaving you for mental health issues thing if it helps you aren’t alone

this is very sweet, anon. i really appreciate it, i hope you're doing well and being kind to yourself as much as possible <3 /p

[isildheir]

Honestly, my abuser saying Louis was just as bad as Lestat or basically implying they hate how people write Lestat off as more abusive than he is or that Louis was just as abusive was a red flag I should've put a lot more stock into.