#if i had self esteem
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fazcinatingblog · 1 year ago
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hi this is a rant please keep scrolling :)))))
list of things me, dumbass admin struggling through second CPA subject, explains to new guy at work who has a CPA:
telling him that bank charges are always debit because they're an expense
and that rent received should be credit because income
when we're the last two in the office and it's 5pm, telling him to finish up because i want to lock up and get out of here (stupid newbies thinking they should work overtime to "get ahead" lmao not a thing, kiddo, go home) (he's actually two months older than me but shhhh)
drafting tax returns
explaining the accounting when client buys an investment property (I would assume he knew this part but he saw me typing up the returns and he asked about it, so i woman-explained it)
teaching him to do adjusting journal entries for the rental income of a trust
going through reversal entries for accrued expenses (he did eventually correct me and discover the correct invoice to be picked up which was conveniently paid in the year we're doing)
things i want to explain to him:
when the water in the urn gets low, he can use the jug next to it to fill it up (pretty sure it's him using the urn water because he drinks tea, i'm onto him and at the end of the day, i keep finding the urn with dangerously low water level KETTLES AND URNS SHOULD NOT BE EMPTY OF WATER ESP IF THE URN IS TURNED ON)
that he can take lunch at any time
not to go crying to the bookkeeper for help because he doesn't want to bother me while i eat lunch at 1:15pm
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kindnessoverperfection · 2 years ago
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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0vergrowngraveyard · 2 months ago
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how i feel rn:
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anyway anyone else starting to notice a pattern forming with tails
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i know these two situations aren’t comparable in the slightest, but it’s mostly the general sense of tails saying that he can fix a situation that’s already done for (the eggnet is no longer accessible or the ship is going to crash) and him beating himself up when he “fails”
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also pointing out that both sonic and amy seem concerned about this behavior
there’s also the whole thing where he stays in the restoration building to help, knowing he could be caught in the explosion (AND HE IS)
“and i’m not going anywhere, not when i can help!”
this is a post forces comic…
again, maybe i’m insane and looking way too much into this but i gotta get this out or im gonna explode
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zu-is-here · 2 months ago
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During the post dark cream arc where Cross was pregnant with Aim, is it possible for Aim to mive and kick while in the soul…? And if so is it painful for Cross+
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continuing @clownyclowns' comic's topic <3
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valdeswan · 5 months ago
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Cale says he is a bad person, a selfish, stone cold bastard because he spent at least 10 years believing the words he heard on his team funeral and after it.
And he had nobody to say the opposite, nobody who knew him, who cared about him. To prove them wrong, to insist that they are the actual bastards without heart for saying that to a mourning person.
He was alone, terrified of getting close to people again, and thinking that the deaths of his family was all his fault. Of course he thinks he is a bad person.
For him, people that don't protect their family are trash, so he is the worst human being that ever put a foot on the planet.
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legobiwan · 7 months ago
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This is such a telling page for Ford. Not only does he detail his social missteps and admit to being lonely in Gravity Falls, despite the scientific wonder of the place, but he also uses what I call "Fordese 2," a scrambled version of the "Fordese 1" code we were first introduced to in Journal 3 to label himself a "six-fingered freak" and to state that "Stanley would have made her laugh." (Her, being the waitress Ford tries out his nerdy science joke on, which goes down like a lead balloon despite the fact that it is legitimately funny, given the right audience).
It's like Bill says. "Ego of a king. The insecurity of a circus freak. And totally isolated..." (Funny enough, Bill could probably turn those exact words on himself, as well.)
Ford so wanted Gravity Falls to be the place where he'd finally fit in, the puzzle to his misshapen puzzle piece.
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And as we see in the missing Journal pages from BoB, that was not to be the case. And worst of all? Ford blames it on his hands at first, but the reality is that he says that "Stanley could make her laugh," meaning Ford's "freakishness" (as he would put it) has less to do with his six fingers and much more to do with Ford's personality and the way he interacts with others.
This is actually worse. Fingers, you can fix, if you want to. By the time you're an adult, most people probably wouldn't care. But to Ford, his fingers seem to be more a manifestation of something internal, something he feels is fundamentally broken about him and that's just the absolute worst hell to be stuck in.
So yeah, it's hardly surprising Ford fell so hard for Bill's shenanigans (and you can define "fell so hard" however you want, although that karaoke page in BoB is especially damning). Here's an interdimensional being who not only can guide you to unlocking the secrets of the universe and propel you towards scientific fame and glory (and thus shoving every taunt, invective, side-eye, and eye roll ever hurled at you over the decades down your tormentors' throats) - but he's (on the surface) completely glib about being a freak himself.
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For Ford, this must have been like finding a shady, sparkling oasis after thirty years of trawling through the desert (especially after Stanley's "betrayal" - Stanley, who along with Fiddleford, being the only person Ford felt like he could be himself around and still be accepted as a human being).
Now, is Bill trying way too hard to show how much he doesn't care? Uhhh, yeah. Bill has almost the same hangups as Ford. Labeled a freak for a genetic mutation and ostracized by his peers. Has a rare gift in that he can see not only into the third dimension but can see even past that, into possible dimensions and futures, which is a wild skill to have. Compare this with Ford's gigantic science brain and academic overachievement. Same deal. And not only this! Bill, in an attempt to prove what he can do with his "freakishness," to prove his worth and place in the universe - he tries to show off something to the denizens of his dimension (we don't know yet what Bill did), only to end up slaughtering his entire dimension. Ford was a hair's breath away from doing the exact same thing with the portal. Because we know from Journal 3 that part of his motivation is to be famous and get accolades for his work, and that maybe "girls will finally talk to me." (Which, Fordsy, let's be real here - I don't think you're actually into these "girls" for real, but you want the acceptance that comes with fitting in with societal standards, and getting a state-sanctioned girlfriend is exactly the type of thing Ford would want to make himself feel "normal.")
Anyway, the point being that if Ford had succeeded with his initial portal attempt, he would have basically wiped out his own dimension. Just. Like. Bill. And it makes you wonder - yeah, yeah, Bill wanted to party, Bill needed out of the Nightmare Realm, Bill's a psychopath who enjoys destruction.
But honestly? I think part it all was that Bill wanted someone like him. His own puzzle piece. Another monster. A being whose collateral damage in the quest to justify their existence in this universe ends in wholesale slaughter.
And Ford had the capacity to easily fit that mould.
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isolophilian · 1 year ago
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i think we need to understand the gravity of how quickly Percy blames himself and his disabilities for the way his world is. how he's been made to believe over years and years that he's weird, that there's something wrong with him. Percy saying he should've been paying attention. Percy saying there's something wrong with his brain. Percy calling himself broken.. he's just a kid man
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brainworms-all-night-long · 11 days ago
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i haven't drawn anything in a while. whatever, self indulgent crossover doodl go!!
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welcometogrouchland · 20 days ago
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my Stephanie Brown hot take is that she should get mad bitches now that she's single in comics. Yes yes shipping BUT the one time she had sex she was punished by the narrative via teen pregnancy. I think she should be allowed to have as much sex as she wants with zero consequences. Could be a lot of sex, could be a little. Point is she should get to do it without getting narratively baby trapped this time. she should get them pregnant, actually.
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#this is a joke post but it also. isn't#like. i understand that what I'm asking for is a very slippery slope especially in the hands of the average comic writers (hates women sm)#but consider that i think it would be neat if female characters in the batmythos had sex lives again...#babs was out here having cybersex with ted kord in the 90s! helena had sex! black canary had sex and was kinda a gotham chara back then!#cass is generally more interested in justice than in sex and i abide by that#(tho user @casscain-mainly has great meta diving into the portrayal of cass' sexuality! good read and was on the brain while typing this)#steph however? canonical sex haver and got done dirty for it#like. personally i prefer to imagine that steph having sex with dean was 100% her choice#idk man she just felt like it! she wanted to bone#and maybe there's other factors at play there- Dean is by all accounts deeply unpleasant as a person so no doubt-#-stephs chronic low self-esteem played into her choice of man here#but again i like to imagine that it was all sane and consensual (tho not safe which again. lots to ponder there-#-like ik dixon was NAWT thinking abt this at the time but Steph's mom is a nurse. a semi-absent nurse but a nurse nonetheless)#(i find it hard to believe that Steph didn't have a basic sex education. meaning it was either a freak accident she got pregnant-#-or a wildly ooc decision on her part. OR some kind of outside pressure put on her by someone/something)#(we'll never know bc dixon hates me personally)#BUT ANYWAY yeah Steph has some kind of canonical sex drive and is just. soundly punished for it#and then she's with Tim (Paragon of Male Virtue in Dixons eyes) so no sex whatsoever no no no ☝️#and she's never had a seriously considered love interest outside of Tim to ever consider having sex with#ALL THIS TO SAY. let Steph have sex again but without the narrative punishment in 2025#if this is what it takes to get her back in bat books so be it#also she should get to hook up with some age appropriate fellow heroes. as like fun one offs#who's in her age range? blue beetle (jaime)? circuit breaker? assuming we're trying to make this canonical and (sigh) can't pull women#I'm blanking on men who aren't vaguely too old/young for steph or gay. or just awkward (i.e like. kon el. that'd just feel weird yknow?)#ANYWAY yeah. Steph Brown stud era
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starmocha · 3 months ago
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You know, it's funny how Sylus is very casual and nonchalant about people robbing him, but he gets highly offended if you think he's poor (spend only $1 million).
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fattributes · 2 months ago
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Sometimes, being optimistic can be unhelpful. You don't have to feel grateful or thankful that your suffering isn't worse. It can be truly devastating, and you have the right to mourn missed opportunities, isolation, and pain. It's okay to experience emotions that aren't necessarily happy.
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ed-recoverry · 4 months ago
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I love you everyone who has a lot of acne!
I love you everyone with acne scarring!
I love you teens with acne!
I love you adults with acne!
I love you everyone with nodulocystic acne!
I love you everyone with cystic acne!
I love you everyone with hormonal acne!
I love you everyone with papulopustular acne!
I love you everyone with nodular acne!
I love you everyone with acne mechanica!
I love you everyone with painful acne!
I love you everyone who gets acne flare ups!
I love you everyone who has been brushed off or neglected by doctors!
I love you everyone who experiences acne as a side effect of medication!
I love you everyone where medication didn’t help your acne!
I love you everyone who is insecure or upset about their acne!
I love you all.
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knifearo · 9 months ago
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everybody! quick! tell me what aro joy means to you <2
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rwby-confess · 5 months ago
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Confession #276
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randomfandomss · 2 months ago
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WHERE IS THE COMPULSORY BAKE OFF CONCLAVE FIC?????
With these queens in the tent?!?! It would totally fuckkkk!!!!
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meangreennunseen · 2 months ago
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The more I read about Primarchs, the more I get the feeling Big E purposely allowed Chaos to scatter Primarchs around the galaxy, or maybe even it wasn't Chaos Gods at first place. It was Big E himself.
If you think about it, Big E never was "Parental" type. It was described he had multiple families with mortal women over his immortal life, and I am pretty sure he never stuck around for long, because sticking around means getting attached, and getting attached means you gain a weakness. And Big E is all about avoiding having any weaknesses.
Raising 20 sons himself, would mean attachements as much as it would mean Emps being direct influence to his sons. And while on one side it would have been positive enviroment for all his sons, that also means Big E would have been forced to be "Parental". And that's probs only fear Big E has.
Scattering his sons in the galaxy not only made them grow up their own people, it also made their individual strengths shine even more. At least that's what I see Big E believing. In truth many of his sons did not luck out and thus ended not developing the right qualities, but instead absorbed sorrow, anger and malice of the soceties they landed in. Some were more lucky and found acceptance and love among their new kin.
So... Do I imply Big E might have yeeted his own gene sons to oblivion just to run another experiment? Yeah, I do, especially as conveniently, no child landed on xenos/uninhabided worlds and you think chaos would have ensured these kids did not grew up to be a threat to them.
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