#if canon isn’t fucked up enough i know fanfic has got me

[littleblackraincloudofcourse]

Healthy relationship are for the real world. I want my characters to be fucked up little freaks for each other.

[fanby-fckry]

You know what, I’m just gonna say it. I think that Alastor being aroace is part of the reason he’s so shippable to me.

Before you come at me, check the flag in my pfp; I’m aroace-spec.

Maybe it’s me projecting, maybe it’s because I love exploring relationships through an aroace lens, but goddamn. I ship him more than any other character and every time I do, his aroaceness is a major component in the ship.

Examples below the cut because it’s gonna get long:

📻🍎 || RadioApple:

There are so many versions of this dynamic and I am here for all of them.

We have the pre-canon kinky QPR that I show in UH3. I could talk about that all day, but to summarize:

Aroace x genuinely respectful allo is a dynamic that heals my soul.

Lucifer is less tied down by human constructs like amatonormativity, having never been human himself.

The Devil values consent.

Kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky ca- *I am removed from the stage with a comically large hook*

Then we have the Evil and fucked up QPR dynamic:

And of course, trying to get along for Charlie’s sake and eventually bonding over their shared love of dad jokes and musical theatre, both being violinists (yup, Alastor plays violin too, check the wiki) with niche hobbies/interests (ducks, furby organ) and accidentally winding up in a loving, healthy QPR.

📻🕸️ || RadioDust:

There’s something about an aroace and a sex worker who very rarely falls in love.

Angel would know that Alastor isn’t with him for sex, would know that he values Angel beyond his body.

With greyro Alastor, Angel and Alastor would both be inexperienced with romance, but in wildly different ways. Angel has never had a healthy romantic relationship and therefor tries not to fall in love. Greyro Alastor has probably experienced romantic attraction like less than three times in his 100+ years of existence.

And if Alastor never gains romantic attraction for Angel, that’s a whole other level to the dynamic.

It’s got some great angst potential with Angel wondering if he’s not good enough to love romantically or Alastor feeling guilty or confused as to Why It Hasn’t Happened Yet when he cares for Angel so deeply, and eventually it gets resolved with the two of them accepting that their attractions don’t have to match up for them to love/appreciate/care for each other and they smash the amatonormative relationship hierarchy as queer platonic partners.

Or, Angel’s just totally cool with it from the start because he’s spent decades in the kink scene and has potentially been exposed to more relationship anarchy than Alastor.

Kink and queerness have a great deal of historical and cultural overlap, and that includes aroace queerness. Because Angel’s had way more canon exposure to both, it’s possible he knows more about Alastor’s orientation than Alastor does, and I love the idea of Angel introducing him to terms or just being super chill about not labeling things.

📻♥️ || RadioHusk:

Drawing like 90% from pilot dynamic and headcanon on this. They’re just two old men. They get drunk and cuddle. Alastor is one of the few people who knows Husk can purr and takes advantage of this fact. Alastor considers Husk a friend in a fucked up, possessive way. Husk considers Alastor a pain in the ass, but does care about him on some level.

It’s Fucked Up and Evil QPR: Remix Edition.

And the versions where the author puts them through fanfic couple’s therapy and actually gets them into a healthy point in their relationship? One where Alastor no longer owns Husk’s Soul? *chef’s kiss*

📻🌹 || RadioRose:

For me, personally, this is an exclusively nonsexual, non-romantic ship. They’re besties; they’re QPPs. They’re married for the tax benefits and so that they cannot be forced to testify against each other in court.

Rosie knew Alastor was aroace before he did and rather than sit down and explain it to him, she decided to make ace puns.

📻🖤 || RadioSiren: [edit, context here] RadioFemme

Ok, so this is entirely based on non-canon-compliant Lilith. Or, I guess, non-series-compliant Lilith. More of the old WOG stuff from the pilot era, with a healthy dose of headcanon for flavor.

I love the idea of Lilith and Lucifer having an open marriage; I love the UH3 style polycule dynamic.

Lilith being the original seductress and Alastor being aesthetically but not sexually or romantically attracted to her is very near and dear to my heart.

I’m an aroace with a voice kink who is aesthetically attracted to Lilith and I think Alastor is an aroace with a voice kink who would be aesthetically attracted to Lilith, ok?

📻📺 || RadioStatic:

I’m gonna be real with you, 90% of my interest in RadioStatic is in the one-sided version where Vox is a pathetic little incel simp and Alastor is either oblivious, mildly annoyed, or finds the whole thing hilarious.

Whenever there’s any reciprocation on Alastor’s part, I always imagine it being in a very aroace, very Alastor-esque way. He needs to be get something out of it completely unrelated to sex/romance. And he needs to be manipulative and sadistic in the process.

Whether that something is kink-related, a business transaction, or simply the quality entertainment provided by Vox being a cringefail TV-headed little bitch, I love to see it.

[elendsessor]

i normally don’t talk about fanfics vs canon but ngl fanfics are so good at filling in gaps or giving new context or heck even improving on elements. i mean yeah duh but there’s occasionally one fic that i come across that just makes me actually think about where canon fumbles.

while i love seeing the og gang again, they don’t really add much outside of beat and neku. and while i also really love how beat gets a lot more time to shine and his relationship with neku (as a longtime beatneku enjoyer i appreciated the food), the fact that nothing is brought into question about neku’s clear character shift puzzles me.

of course we don’t know everything about what life was like before neku got killed again or what being in an erased shinjuku does to a guy but what we do know is that 1. coco was the only person who could interact with him and 2. neku seems to have come out a bit scarred, to say the least. yes, at the end of twewy, neku is a lot more open and understanding. yes, people do change overtime. however, his character shift was actually pretty drastic. at least he kept some of his snark and angsty 2000s teen aura in a new day. in neo, though, he mellowed out a lot. he’s more soft spoken and talks like a war vet. i’d argue he even shows a bit of trauma as, when scanning every single person in shibuya during neo’s climax, he does seem incredibly pained. yeah i get scanning literally everyone would be painful but it definitely has some added depth considering where he’d been for three goddamn years plus just the sequence in general seeming to be really draining.

there isn’t much we know about shinjuku, but in the connections thing, there is this one npc who is heavily implied to be what remains of some girl, be it just her soul or simply thoughts. it’s an incredibly minor detail but my best guess is that all that does exist of shinjuku are the thoughts of the erased trapped in some sort of purgatory. a purgatory neku was in. and i imagine that’s part of what made him so fucked up mentally.

yet aside from members of the og gang going “oh hey neku’s back we missed you” and some extra stuff with beat, everything else is sorta just glossed over. neku’s kinda just some mentor for the wicked twisters which is cool but doesn’t highlight nearly enough of who he is as a character and how his experiences affected him.

that’s why i really liked running across a post canon fic that explores that aftermath and acknowledges the change??? the fic in question is called flowers for the dead (please hear me out) by nagiru on ao3 (content warning it does have some implied/referenced suicide) and god i recommend it to hell and back please give it a read. would love to see more discussion or interpretations of neku’s character shift :D

[lesser-mook]

Miles isn’t bad, just overrated

”wild to me”, as in how could you not like him?

  Mind you they’re leaving out continuity, origin differences, the fact some aren't mantles but actual RANKS (GL), Fate/Nabu is more an Entity than a mantle. (debatable, yes)

Barry to Jay is Jim Hammond Human Torch to Johnny Storm’s Torch- existed in different times

 Hammond was an Allies soldier

Johnny is a modern Superhero whose power is cosmic in isolation

Leaving out context to make a moot point. 

I was there day one Miles’ story began, and i loyally bought his stuff. 

He ain’t all that, the main selling point is the cultural modernization that he represents, he’s an urban, black Spider-man and that’s mainly why people latch onto him.

Not that he’s in anyway compelling or interesting in a unique sense, cause he is an individual person, but the urban aesthetic mainly is what people fell in love with. And that’s 100% fine-

But it’s when you start deflecting that fact and start acting like people have an issue when they don’t like him and you just can’t for the life of you understand “why why why, don’t you like him” vs other knockoffs:

Mind you, i’m probably one of the lesser yet avid Supergirl criticizers on the net, and i’m not even talking about the show, that’s too easy, comics 100%. That requires research.

So there’s no double standard, Kara Zor El is a blue eyed blond haired girl next door archetype cosplaying as Superman, her entire appeal is to get women into the lore but she ended up being taken in by straight men as a fanbase, majorly. 

Why? 

Because she’s got a dynamic character arc? (She’s had some decent runs, nothing phenomenal)

An arc that at one point changed the landscape of DC? 

Her tragic downward spiral of self-destruction and wrapped up in a beautiful act of redemption & sacrifice?

NOPE that would be someone else, who i often WISH was Supergirl in the first fucking place.

But despite Clark Kent-PRIME being a better character (in concept, not the best characterization compared to Supertoken, but his arc was solid), somehow hasn’t gotten a single chance in the animated media.

Young JUSTICE didn’t choose him. They chose Kara to end off S4, because we haven’t had enough of her the past 15 years, she’s so deep like that.

And yes: The most you can say is she more trauma due to her actually knowing Krypton, having friends, her family or seeing it explode- 

But the premise of her entire origin is why she doesn’t work. Jor-El just happened to have a brother who just HAPPENED to be a scientist who just HAPPENED to have the same exact idea (not trivializing Kal’s survival at all) to save his daughter & not himself or at least get his wife and daughter away safely. 

No just copy & paste. So Superman miraculously has a cousin, the COUSIN trope. 

Kara Bore-El is a Fanfic OC made canon.

Her being an angry/edge-lord sometimes doesn’t mean she’s interesting- solely because they don’t DO anything with that anger or trauma and or they don’t commit to it. (Red Lantern Kara)

You know who’s trauma DC used to make an interesting story (excuse me) SAGA, an interesting SAGA? Superboy-PRIME. 

I DIGRESS.

As you can tell, i cannot stand her despite her innate general appeal. Why? Writing, purpose, originality, DC forcing her desperately, purpose and lack thereof. 

The takes of Kara that land, FOR ME, are the ones that say or do something different from the version mainline canon, and allow her to be her own thing off of Clarks coattails in some way, minor or major. 

*DC Nuclear Winter Kara Zor El, i like her.

And the fact that she’s a cutesie R63, usually. Is the only reason why she remained relevant for this long, same with Powergirl, up until people literally forgetting she existed because her contribution to the picture was big tits and a little bit of ego.

Injusitce 2 brought her back, attitude and all.....aaaand then she went back into obscurity, nobody gave a shit after 2 weeks. WHO saw that coming? 

Same with Miles, token.

Miles not bad, not a bad kid, not the worst take on Spider-man. Just overrated.

Some people need to just admit what they like about him is the aesthetic surrounding him, and stop pretending we just don’t get what it is that’s wrong with other people regarding him.

Cause i guarantee you majority of people stanning this kid has NEVER read that issue where he fought that nobody villain: Kangaroo- which is technically where his first fight as a masked hero began.

Doesn’t mean you have to read every single issue to speak on the matter (Because i need to catch up on some of his stories myself), but the point is with all this support for this character, how invested are you really in this boy beyond what’s fed to you by Hollywood.

It means: Do you actually give a shit? Are you invested, or are you just talking?

It means don’t act stupid for the sake of feigning confusion when you know exactly what’s up. 

Like he should be or has to be liked and anything less is a problem or something.

Most people big him up because he’s a POC Spider-Man, period. 

If they (Marvel/Bendis) had any balls they would’ve made Miles more like Kaine, give him some anger issues & do something with it, make him a Spider-Man Foil. 

Or SOME kind of major flaw that made him having powers a serious problem- and how he uses his powers, is different enough from Peter in sheer application to where he’s not your average Spider-Man by just how he moves.

Because Prowler Miles is what I’ve been needing, that’s an interesting story right there. 

No Quirk, but running shit anyway.

Like Deku & Allmight having roughly the same power, initially, but Deku uses his strengths so differently by S2-S3, he literally moves & fights nothing like All Might anymore. He’s his own aesthetic.

Even Full Cowling isn’t something Allmight’s really known for or any of the Veestige, it’s a visual distinction between Deku and the rest.

And that’s one of few things i can actually praise of the franchise without a complaint.

That should’ve been Miles.

And no, some sparky fingers ain’t unique cause Jessica was doing that shit decades before Miles was a concept, but nobody talks about that tho.

The Invisible Woman shit? Sure i’ll give him that i guess. It’s pretty cool. But again, SUSAN been on it too!

Moreso this alternate Miles’ arc is moreso learning the values of a hero in his own way, at his own pace, while maintaining enough moral differences from Parker to be a different situation. 

Say he’s 18 when he gets his power, slightly older than when Peter got his,14-15. 

Have the first 9-12 months be him using his powers for himself, a “fuck the world” attitude, until he does something deathly serious in a fit of rage or self defense, that he can’t undo and regrets for the rest of his career. 

Anything like that would’ve been more compelling.

You can’t tell me that doesn’t sound like a more interesting story, i didn’t say “better”, i said “interesting.”

Not just Peter Parker but recolored.

Again, I was there since the beginning, 2012, day one i was buying Morales comics “Because he looked liked me”, and guess what, I was NOT impressed.

The staying power wasn’t there, the justification of his looking like me (and yes he looked just like me) WAS NOT enough to warrant long term investment because while he did look like me, Miles was NOT me. Period.

I liked that both his parents were alive, ofc they weren’t an entirely black family unit, of course. 

But i liked his pops, Jefferson being a cop. His mom was good peoples, and what happened to her was...something.

But the kid overall was boring, he didn’t speak to me, he just mirrored my melanin, big deal.

Lo and behold, just looking like a person isn’t enough to justify staying power, who knew? Just being black doesn’t mean i relate to you, who knew?

That was the day i realized, true “Representation” is NOT skin deep. It’s about character, who you are as a person. Period.

Between Kaine and Morales, it’s not even a Contest. 

One has enough distinctions moral & mental to be a completely separate franchise and SHOULD'VE been in movies by now, R Rated ofc.

And the other is just a glorified What If DLC.

But ofc guess who gets a honorable mention, twice in the MCU. The Black Spider-Man ofc: 

Because he’s compelling, interesting, a long standing character in the Spider-man lore? 

No that’s KAINE, hell i’m still looking for Madam Web’s respect, on god..

I’m STILL waiting for MAYDAY (rightful heir to the mask) to get her big break! The fact that Miles was able to skip the line in front of her, is insane to me.

Miles is likely going get to the MCU first before BEN, Web, Mayday and KAINE combined, because he’s the black Spidey.

Again, you can like him if you want, but don’t pretend for a second why people don’t like him is some mystery.

Miles looks exactly like me, i repeat and i cannot stand him as a concept- i gravitate to Venom, Kaine, Miguel, Spider-Man NOIR, Mayday, etc.

And Miguel is technically the POC Spider-man BEFORE Morales, half Mexican, but Miles is black+latino in current day, so let’s just forget all about O’Hara until some corny Spiderverse movie makes him relevant again in the post credit scene, now everyone’s going to love Miguel because he’s going to be in the next movie.

Mapping out the main reason i can’t stand normies sometimes, bandwagon mentality.

And it sucks cause we got him in Ultimate Spiderman XD, Edge of Time, Shattered Dimensions, so the man had some momentum getting off the pages. So what was the hold up with getting this cat in a movie? Or a Mini series like TNAS Spider-man most people forgot?

Miguel is a legit cool dude, careerman, sly, very different aesthetic, different time, different Spider-man. He is NOT Parker, trust me. 

Miguel O’Hara should’ve been gotten his own show or movie. And on that note, that obscure underwritten Spider-man Unlimited, was a Spider-man 2099 cartoon that didn’t know or it 100% knew it was trying to be 2099

But our boy Miles gets to skip the goddamn line in front of established more interesting characters that have done their time since before the Century turned, get mentions in the MCU and 2 animated movies, if that’s not AA energy i don’t know what is. 

NOW THAT’S wild to me.

[kolbietheaggrievedwriter]

misc excerpts 7/?

Category: Katekyo Hitman Reborn/Naruto

Title: praying to whatever is in heaven, please send me a felon

Summary: Kaito had no intention of interfering with the main characters, even if he seems to have landed in this world a year or two after the canon storyline ended. So of course he hops into bed with an Arcobaleno (unknowingly!) and gains his interest, which leads him into many an uncomfortable talk with the other Arcobaleno, into Vongola’s crosshairs, and into a cross-country courtship with Skull fucking de Mort.

Notes: Title is from "Female Robbery" by The Neighbourhood.

This is an extremely self-indulgent SI/OC/Skull fanfic (that takes place after the canon storyline, so Skull and the rest of the Arcobaleno are in their adult forms.) Like y'all, I gave my SI/OC Hiraishin!! Just because I could!!!! I am absolutely never continuing this, at least not as is, because Kaito is way too OP, but I might eventually cannibalize parts of it for a fic that won't make me cringe myself out of existence. Anyway, AO3 is down, so here's something to entertain yourself for a little bit.

-o-

It starts with a dark and dingy bar, full of criminals and low lifes and the dirty underbelly of society. It’s the kind of place where brawls are nonexistent, and no one cares what your name is. It’s perfect for Kaito, coming off a botched job, one where the client lied about his motivations for the hit, and Kaito ended up fighting off a small army trying to escape after he offed the guy.

He’s pissed and disgruntled, and he nurses a single glass of whiskey in a dingy corner for a while as he works out a way to make future clients wary of double-crossing him. Just killing the fuckers apparently isn’t enough of a message, so maybe he has to be more brutal. Torture? Or some public display?

He hasn't quite decided yet when someone new enters the bar, instantly catching his attention. The guy's got brown hair and vibrant green eyes, and he looks really good in that weathered leather jacket and tight jeans. God, but he's got piercings. And those boots. Why does he have a chain hanging off pf his pants? That's so goddamn stupid and weirdly hot, and he might be the prettiest man Kaito's ever seen.

It takes all of ten seconds for Kaito to decide he's going to go for it. It wouldn't be the first time he's hit on a stranger in a bar, and it certainly won't be the last. Because he's not a complete moron, he does wait and watch for another ten minutes, looking for signs the guy is waiting on someone or for said someone to show up.

But no one shows. At the ten minute mark, Kaito goes right on over there, making sure to make some noise, even though he doubts the guy is a civilian. This bar serves a certain clientele, after all, and besides, he's met enough dangerous individuals in his line of work to recognize one, even if he can't quite tell how dangerous. As the literally only being in this dimension to possess chakra, he can hardly use that as a measure of strength, even though it would be so convenient.

Few things in this world are, for a displaced faux ninja.

He slips onto the seat next to the guy, ready with a flirtatious smile when he turns to look. "Hi, I'm Kaito, and you're really pretty. Want to get to know me?"

It's a stupid, cheesy line, but Kaito's normal prospects usually find it just this side of endearing. It's all about the delivery.

Pretty Guy startles, just a little, then he smiles back, stupidly charming and visibly flattered. "Hearing that from someone as pretty as you-" he laughs, and it's so cute, what the fuck- "I'm Yulian, and I'd love to."

This, right here, is definitely, undoubtedly, wholeheartedly, and unquestionably the moment Kaito really fucked up.

But it's not where it really started.

-o-

It starts with a dreamlike video game or perhaps a video game-like dream. Nevertheless, there is a character creation screen and a character carefully created after hours and hours (maybe an hour and a half) of deliberating and contemplating and self-indulging.

The character is a ninja in a world full of them. Short, black hair that curls over his ears. Ruby red eyes with visible rings in them. Fair skin, high cheekbones, dimples. Tall, lean, muscular, nimble.

Yuuhi Kaito, age 22, stands before him, mouth pulled into an easy smile, a hint of mischief in his eyes, a deceptive ease to his stance. He’s perfect.

After that, skill slots are quickly filled up. Gear is equipped. An elemental affinity is chosen. He hovers between two Special Skills for a while, but eventually, he goes with his heart. Also, the coolest choice with the most potential for badassery.

The generated backstory is skimmed over. Kaito is the older brother to Yuhi Kurenai, and in canon, he died during the Third War. In this world, he survives, becomes a tokubetsu jounin, joins ANBU, gets handpicked to join the Yondaime’s guard, and like the others, he is taught the Hiraishin Jutsu. Unlike them, however, he figures out how to use it on his own. As one can imagine, this changes things.

Eager to get into this strange, new world and discover those changes, he doesn’t hesitate to save and then select Game Start. 

He probably should have hesitated.

-o-

He's so fucking stupid. 

He almost can't believe he'd do something so idiotic, but he did, so clearly, there's some string of DNA inside of him dedicated to dumbassery and other stupid stunts, some gene that forces him to make the worst decision possible in any given situation, even when he's not aware it's possible.

How the fuck was he supposed to know Pretty Bar Guy was a canon character?? How on earth was he supposed to know that Yulian was actually Skull de fucking Mort??? How was he to know this random dude he picked up at a bar was a fucking disguised Arcobaleno???

And!!! Worse!!!! How was he to know that this dude would fall in love with him after a random fling??

[blondiest]

16, 22, 29 for the fanfic asks !! i hope you have a safe flight to your timezone <3

hello!! 🥰 tysm, i'm actually only flying back to Amsterdam tonight but i cannot WAIT to fly back to the USA tomorrow 😭 i miss my cats too much rn

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

GSGSHGH RETROACTIVELY REALIZED I. DIDN'T ANSWER THIS. the answer is that it varies tbh— sometimes i know right at the start, other times i have to figure something out right before posting lol

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

TOTALLY depends. i sometimes have no idea when i start, but i usually have a pretty decent concept of it by the time i start posting. some fics enter my mind fully formed though. often the ending comes to me very suddenly / all at once lol.

(going to put my thank-you-so-much-🥰 for the ask and the link here bc my last answer gets wordy lol. so. THANK U!! ❣️ fic writer asks)

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

bestie. thank you so much for this excuse to share a chunk of the time loop au. bless your soul. here we go,,, i am putting a good amount of this under a read more bc it's quite long and bc it gets very very slightly suggestive at the very end. uhh. cw for discussions of death / murder i suppose although considering canon i don't think it's anything too graphic hdgdhdhhghhh

“Kill me,” Near whispers, clinging to Mello’s coat, his face only a few breaths away from the blonde’s and the barrel of Mello’s gun a finger-twitch away from putting a bullet in his gut. “Kill me. Maybe it’ll just reset the timeline, but maybe it’ll free you. Kill me. Just promise you’ll stop Yagami if I don’t come back.”

Mello recoils enough to pull the barrel of his gun from where it was pressed into Near’s stomach and turns away to unload the clip, throwing the firearm on the ground when he’s finished. Near remains latched-on, so the front of Mello’s coat is all twisted.

“Are you going to strangle me?” Near asks breathlessly. “I’d prefer something painless, but—”

“I’m not going to fucking kill you,” Mello says, horrified. Considering how many times he’s pointed a gun at Near, he’s got no right to be so aghast at the idea, even if he thinks it’s a stupid one. Besides, it isn’t like he hasn’t killed before, or even like he’s a stranger to killing someone with nothing but his hands.

What’s more is that Mello has died twice now. By all logic, he should be desensitized to death. Actually, he is desensitized to death, generally speaking, but—

But it’s Near.

It’s Near, and whether Mello wants to admit it or not, he’s the only person in the world aside from Matt that Mello cares about. If Mello actually killed him, it’s hard to imagine wanting to go on at all after avenging L.

Despite the fact that Mello has threatened to kill him more times than he can count, and despite the fact that he’s repeatedly professed to hate Near, Mello feels somehow that if he were to kill Near— even if it didn’t take, even if Near came back and was whole and totally himself after— Mello himself would be forever fractured by having done it. By having seen it. He hates the idea of Near’s death by anyone’s hands, actually, and he’s disturbed to find that he’s more violently disgusted by it than the death of L himself.

Mello resolutely refuses to examine that at all.

“It’s fine,” Near is saying, yanking on Mello’s coat and crowding him as the blonde stumbles backwards. “It’s fine, you can be L instead. You can replace me, I know you can replace me, so just kill me—”

“Shut up,” Mello snaps, voice a shade too desperate. He’s becoming increasingly distraught by Near’s morbid pleading; this needs to fucking stop.

But Near doesn’t stop. He talks over Mello with his big, dark eyes shining, determined and a touch manic. “Just kill me, Mello, it’s the only thing we haven’t tried—”

“Shut up, Near, shut the fuck up—”

The white-haired boy continues and Mello loses it, acting on impulse. It’s the first time in years he’s done something with absolutely no foresight to it, evidence of how fucking distressed he is from all of this bullshit. Mello takes a sharp breath in and, grabbing Near’s face with one hand and using his other arm to seize him by the waist, kisses Near hard on the mouth.

He’s not sure how Near is going to respond, and frankly doesn’t much care as long as the younger boy stops talking about his own death for a few fucking seconds. Near shocks him, though; he throws his arms around Mello’s neck and pushes up on his toes, smushing their mouths together harder and letting out a broken, keening sound against Mello’s lips.

Pure impulse can be blamed for the initiation of the kiss, but Mello doesn’t stop, even once he really realizes what he’s doing. He briefly attempts to conjure up an excuse or justification for that, but quickly fails and opts to instead stop thinking altogether. He wraps both arms around Near’s middle and pulls the younger boy almost completely off the ground, nipping harshly at Near’s bottom lip. Near opens his mouth for Mello, clumsy and obviously clueless but somehow all the more tempting as a result, and Mello slips his tongue inside.

The younger boy clings to Mello like a lifeline, kissing him like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted to do. It occurs to Mello that Near’s team is probably watching this happen on the security cameras. They’ll all have forgotten in seven hours’ time anyway, so it isn’t as if it actually matters, but Mello would prefer to avoid being interrupted.

“Please tell me you have some kind of bedroom,” Mello pulls back just far enough to say.

Near stares at him with blown-out pupils and swollen lips, leaning practically all of his weight on Mello since his feet are just barely on the ground, and nods.

Mello bends to set him back down. Near takes his hand and leads him away from the main room and away from prying eyes.

[nancylou444]

November 23, 2013

Anon, you sound young and confused. The young part, I can’t help you with, but I can try to clear up some of your confusion.

Dean is a straight guy

YES HE IS. Dean has said it numerous times. The PTB have said it numerous times. JENSEN has said it numerous times. You cannot change canon. DEAN IS STRAIGHT IN CANON. DEAN IS STRAIGHT IN CANON.

Maybe if it is said enough times, people will finally get the message that DEAN IS STRAIGHT IN CANON.

…disprove Destiel...

Castiel beat Dean twice and Cas threatened to throw him back into Hell.  WHY would he want to have a sexual relationship with someone who abuses him?

Castiel called Sam, the ‘boy with the demon blood’, and an ‘abomination’. WHY would Dean want to have a sexual relationship with someone who says nasty things about his brother?

Castiel was full of himself and got Sam out of the Cage, without a soul and then lied to Dean about not knowing HOW Sam got out of the Cage. THEN continued to lie and spy on Dean and co. that entire year. THEN bought down Sam’s protective Hell Wall, knowing THAT would be the perfect way to get Dean to stand down. Nothing there speaks of ‘love’ to me.

Dean and Castiel end up in Purgatory and instead of telling Dean that he was leaving to ‘protect’ Dean (his later ‘excuse’), Cas just disappeared, leaving Dean to fend for himself. If you ‘love’ someone, you don’t do this shit.

When Naomi told Dean and Cas the truth in regards to the demon’s trial and that Sam would die, Cas tried to convince Dean that she was lying. Dean then told Cas that he needed to get to Sam ‘NOW’. Dean picked Sam over Castiel.

When Ezekiel!Sam told Dean that if Cas stayed in the bunker than Ezekiel (and Sam) would have to leave, Dean told CAS to leave. Dean picked Sam over Castiel AGAIN.

...but you ship Wincest.

Don’t know why WE need to go over this ten times every fucking day?

BROTHERLY Wincest is CANON.

BROTHERLY Wincest is CANON.

BROTHERLY Wincest is CANON.

BROTHERLY Wincest is CANON.

BROTHERLY WINCEST IS CANON.

Nine seasons. 179 episodes of Sam loving Dean and Dean loving Sam.

CANON CANON CANON.

DEAN threatening anybody that hurts Sam with death. Dean selling his soul to get Sam bought back to life. Dean telling Sam:

"Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it — none of it — is true. Listen, man, I know we’ve had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I’ve said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy…come on. I killed Benny to save you. I’m willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I’m begging you."

CANON CANON CANON

SAM threatening anybody that hurts Dean. Sam wanting to trade his soul, just to get Dean out of Hell. Sam with tears in his eyes, begs Dean:

"I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. ‘Cause… just ‘cause."

CANON CANON CANON

They shared a Heaven because they are soulmates.

CANON CANON CANON

Most Wincest shippers, like myself, KNOW that Sam and Dean will never kiss and make love on a show that airs on the CW. THAT is why we have fanfic and art for the FANON ship of SEXUAL wincest. WE know the difference between CANON and FANON.

We can separate the BROTHERLY CANON wincest from the SEXUAL FANON wincest.  

Unlike SOME destiel shippers that want to see a sexual relationship between Dean, WHO IS STRAIGHT IN CANON, and Castiel, WHO IS IN THE BODY OF A STRAIGHT MAN AND WHO HAS KISSED AND SLEPT WITH ONLY WOMEN on the show.

SPN is not going to have a romance as the main story. Especially a ‘romance’ between two CANON STRAIGHT men.

…it breaks my heart to see posts like yours.

Why?

Because you feel entitled? Because you are a spoiled child that isn’t getting the toy (canon destiel) that you want, no matter how much you yell and stomp your foot?

Can you please stop?

You’re kidding right? WHY should I stop? Because my OPINION bothers YOU?

THEN GET OFF MY BLOG. Simple as that. You don’t like what I have to say, then go away. Unfollow me. Ignore me. Blacklist me.

Nobody is pointing a gun to your fool head and demanding that you look at Nancy’s Wincest World, OR ELSE.

Grow up.

If I had screenshot this, it would have been hard to read. 

There are very few of my 2013 posts archived, so this was a treasure that I needed to have here. 

Here is the archived post. 

[symbiotic-slime]

that's a lot, but still: for the fanfic ask game: ❤, 💥, ⏰️ , 👓 , 🦋 , 🦈, 💭, 🧪, 🔥, 💘,💡, 🔎, 🎨 .

SORRY, THAT'S A LOT!!! 😭

hi I’m so so sorry it took me a bit to get around to this 😭 also never apologize for sending too many, I am professional yapper and will take every opportunity to talk about my fics :D

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

oooo this is tough! I have to go with this line from the fic I’m working on right now, which kinda goes too hard for a fanfiction that involves a man falling in love with mold

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Eddie Brock being the King in Black. I know there’s a lot of people who think it’s cool and like it, but to me it just feels out of place for him. like he should just be A Guy™️, not like the commander of all symbiotes and able to move through time or whatever the hell is going on right now in the current run.

⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?

they’re definitely at random! it’s just whenever I get bursts of inspiration, I’m trying to be more regular (especially with VenomFest— I’m trying to keep up with it being weekly) but yeah, there’s no schedule 😅

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

this is gonna make me sound like an iPad baby but I love having videos I’ve already seen on in the background while I write! if Coffeezilla isn’t explaining a scam on my tv while I write on my phone/laptop than I am operating at like 50% efficiency 💀 It’s so bad 😭

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

I absolutely love writing the Venom Symbiote!! they’re such a goober it makes them so enjoyable to write! also it’s so fun to write about human things from the perspective of a guy who’s confused by them all the time.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Don’t know if he’s actually tough to write but part of the reason I haven’t written any symbiOT3 fics is because I’m scared of fucking up Flash 😭 I get like that with new characters, I get so petrified of writing them even though I find when i actually do write them it’s not as bad as I think. like it took me a while to build up to writing comics!Eddie, even though he’s not that hard to write (imo) and very fun to write!

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

LGBT delusions /j

my genuine answer is honestly not far off from that though— Venom and Eddie just exist in my brain all the time and writing about them helps me from just rotating them in my brain all day.

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

a bit? it depends on what I’m writing because most of it isn’t stuff that requires research, but if I ever get around to my Malevolent/Venom crossover I’m going to have to figure out how investigations actually work.

🔥 Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

I have written them and I find them lowkey difficult to write 😭 I love writing them— all the ones I have published right now are x reader fics but the TMA au does get weirdly horny. listen okay im not crazy the corruption draws on sexual horror so it’s narratively compelling for Eddie to be horny for mold— [I am dragged out of the room by armed security guards]

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff?

fluff!! I find it hard to write angst— I just want all of them to be happy and gay and live happily ever after

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

Currently I have two WIPs! I’ve got my Magnus archives AU, which has three WIP chapters, and I started writing a Eddie/Venom/Reader smut fic >:3

🔎 Does anyone beta read or edit your fics?

some of my irl friends beta read and edit my fics!! @fist-of-vengeance and @cyborg-empress are what keeps me from publishing fics with typos and just overall issues, I cannot thank them enough!!

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

OUGH there’s too many,,, I’ll try to narrow it down to just three of my favourites:

good old fashioned symbrock smut from Symby’s perspective:

symbiOT3 fic where Flash and Eddie are neighbours! it’s so adorable, I cannot wait for the next chapter:

and a fic where Venom is the monster under kid!Eddie’s bed! kinda heavy (it deals with Eddie being abused), but it’s so heartwarming to see kid!Eddie and Venom becoming friends and Venom protecting Eddie:

[thestobingirlie]

THANK YOU. Robin and Nancy’s incompatibility aside, Robin and Steve’s soulmatism is one of the unshakable dynamics in the show and Robin Buckley would just never. I read fanfics for most ships, and the story you linked is the first r//nance story I’ve seen that doesn’t have a Steve with zero issues just giggling while his best friend in the universe gets with the person who canonically hurt him the most/he’s still in love with. R//nance usually goes hand in hand with having to ignore how significant Nancy and Steve are to each other, which reminds me of the…

The Vickie erasure. The fanon of bi Nancy while fandom totally ignores Vickie is not surprising considering there’s so much automatic hatred of canon. Robin calls Vickie the girl of her dreams! I also hoped for more Vickie in season 4, but Vickie as the embodiment of Robin’s peace at home is perfect. Rosie! That Vickie is too much of a side-character to ship with Robin is ridiculous when I’ve accidentally seen so many fics including Gareth. For real, who the fuck is Gareth.

Nancy still needing to learn how to process her emotions is why I think any Stancy endgame would be a denouement situation. The execution of the matchmaker trope was unnecessary. Three whole characters weighing in on that relationship? One of which was a stranger? Why.

maybe it’s just because i love stobin so much, but it is literally one of the best and strongest dynamics in the show, and i just can’t fathom needing characters to be in a romantic relationship so badly, that people just cast aside how important robin and steve are to each other.

and yeah, i avoid all r//nance fics, like even if they’re just a background ship. because i know that that background ship will be a throwaway line, and still manage to destroy stobin. like, you can’t just have causal r//nance in the background because by it’s very nature, it would tear the characters apart.

in canon, steve still has feelings for nancy. now you can decide if that’s just because he’s clinging to this ideal of life that he isn’t ready to let go of, or because he actually is in love with her, but to disregard their relationship entirely is dumb. like, in their first s4 scene together, nancy spots steve’s car and just instantly calms. like, whether they’re romantic or platonic, steve and nancy are really important to each other.

i honestly just cannot see nancy being queer at all, but i know that’s just my personal opinion. but the fact that people will totally erase vickie, and then get annoyed at the duffers for having minimal gay characters, or for not making r//nance canon. like, there is a bi women right there! stop ignoring her! and yeah, i think the excuse that vickie is just a side character is such bullshit, because she is spoken about a lot, we see her in multiple scenes. she’s more important than gareth, but somehow he pops up everywhere? and a lot of people who hate vickie will then ship buckingham (which i have nothing against!) but it’s like, how are you gonna pretend chrissy has more personality then vickie?

yeah, i hate matchmaking, but the duffers seem incapable of writing a romance without using it. honestly, the reason why i hated murray so much is because of that. like, some random middle aged man got two teens drunk and told them to fuck in his house, and i’m supposed to think that’s the height of romance?! ew. and yeah, i can see robin talking to steve about nancy, because they obviously talk about their loves lives to each other. and dustin is incapable of not inserting himself into steve’s life, but eddie? what does he know about the situation? it’s just so weird.

also, i actually find stancy interesting, at least, i’ve always enjoyed watching their scenes more than nancy and jonathan, but i just don’t think that nancy will be able to get enough development in time for her to end the show in a healthy relationship. though, i do kinda want stancy to be endgame just because i know how much steve antis will hate it. and i think that’s funny.

but honestly, when it comes to endgames i just don’t care. what ships the duffers decide to end on mean nothing to me. i will read whatever fanfics i want when the show ends, and who’s gonna stop me. “oh it’s not canon.” don’t care, didn’t ask.

[jarmes]

Harry Anderson’s Father (Homestuck: Beyond Canon Fanfic)

I gaze out upon the festering shithole of a world that lies behind the black hole. At first glance, it is identical to the victory world I left. But, with my heightened senses, I am acutely able to sense the inherent bullshittery that permeates through this planet like a cancer. The planet isn’t real, not completely. It exists as a shitty doodle on the back of reality, something that should not exist but still persists. This world is a hypothetical. It is the universe that would have existed, if I didn’t push John Egbert to restore canon to a functioning state.

Years ago, I briefly existed in this universe. The moment I realized what it was, I did the only sensible thing and killed myself so I didn’t have to spend another second in what was for all intents and purposes a terrible piece of fanfiction. That was a mistake. If I had stayed, I could have stopped the Muse from creating lackluster muppet baby players and sending them to kill me.

This world needs to be destroyed. Not just blown up, but fully erased. Its existence is a stain that makes everything I have built terrible by association. This abomination of a world is so bad it got my comic canceled. 

I pull the lever and release the Tumor. I’m not surprised when it doesn’t fall from my battleship, down to the non-canon version of Earth C and obliterate it. That would be boring.

I march out onto the deck of my battleship. A teenager is standing on the edge, ripping apart the wires in the bombing mechanism’s control panel. He has white hair, with that trademark Lalonde curl and Jake’s bad teeth. John and Roxy’s kid. I don’t know his name, nor do I care to know.

> Be Harry Anderson Egbert

You watch as that Dirk Strider, that terrifying and handsome son of a bitch, marches towards you. He draws his badass katana and you raise your pathetic garden sheers. Your hands tremble as you sense the incredible goddamn menace emanating off the literal God you have decided to fuck with.

HARRY: you’re that guy my mom told me about. the one with the stupid shades.

DIRK: It is a shame that the kids these days do not understand how kickass ironic anime shades are.

HARRY: how do they stay on your face? double-sided tape?

DIRK: There are more important things to discuss than the intricacies of my clothing. Such as, your attempt at disarming my weapon.

HARRY: i’m not going to let you blow up my world and kill everyone.

DIRK: That isn’t really your choice.

Dirk Strider moves so fast you can’t process it. One second, he’s twenty feet away, the next, he has his katana held against your throat. You feel a drop of cold sweat drip down your neck and split apart as it touches the edge of Dirk’s blade.

DIRK: I’m going to explain something very simple to you. You are not a real human being.

DIRK: You are a shadow of a person from a world that should not exist. You canonically do not exist.

DIRK: People who exist get to foil the big bad’s plans. People who exist occasionally get to impact the plot.

DIRK: Unfortunately, you are a drama kid OC from someone’s Tumblr page who is just sentient enough to feel fear.

The sucker punch from John knocks Dirk flat on his ass.

What.

No.

I don’t get taken by surprise anymore. I’m omniscient and fairly close to omnipotent. It should be impossible for someone to get the jump on me, and yet, I have just been walloped by John Egbert. He appeared in front of me and punched me in the face, so hard that I feel my molars coming loose.

He got here using his Retcon powers. I can see the white outline hanging around his silhouette.

HARRY: dad?

JOHN: harry anderson! i’m so proud of you.

JOHN: military sabotage is basically the highest form of prank.

JOHN: i mean your mom would probably be mad about this, but i’m incredibly proud.

HARRY: dad, i’m trying to stop him from killing everyone i’ve ever met. can we please delay the father-son pep talk until after this is over?

JOHN: oh yeah i can do that.

John turns to face me. He’s wearing his God Tier outfit, which hasn’t grown in the two and a half decades he’s been wearing it and is two sizes too small. He looks like an idiot.

JOHN: hi dirk. can you please stop trying to kill my son.

JOHN: and also stop trying to destroy the world while you're at it.

DIRK: You know he isn’t real.

DIRK: His existence, like the existence of every other person on that planet, is paradoxical.

DIRK: You’re from this world, but you are at least a version of a character who existed in canon.

DIRK: Your son doesn’t have that going for him.

JOHN: i know.

The child looks up at his father with confusion. John doesn’t take his gaze off me.

JOHN: so what?

DIRK: What do you mean, so what?

DIRK: This entire universe is a non-canon abomination.

JOHN: i know but i don’t really care, you know?

DIRK: Of course you don’t care. You’re the version of John who abandoned the world and let it decay into a twisted shadow of canon.

DIRK: If you cared, you would have died fighting Lord English.

DIRK: Instead, you created this aberration.

DIRK: This is the universe of dog dicks, clowns sucking on titties, and Vriska 2: Electric Boogaloo.

JOHN: yeah, but it’s also the universe where my son exists.

JOHN: i don’t really get this canon stuff.

JOHN: i mean, everyone tells me that this world isn’t real.

JOHN: and for a long time, i believed that.

JOHN: i stopped spending time with Roxy or Harry Anderson or anyone else because i knew they weren’t real.

JOHN: but i think i was just depressed.

JOHN: i’m better now. i’m not hiding from the world anymore.

JOHN: harry anderson is my son and i love him.

John reaches over and grabs his son, pulling him into a hug. Harry Anderson tries to shove him away, but eventually relents and allows his father to hug him.

I decide I’ve had enough of this sappy horseshit and stab John Egbert in the throat. The blade goes in easily. Too easily. I jump back as John transforms into wind.

He reforms above Dirk and slams his hammer down, smashing a hole in the deck. The dice in the hammer's bubble bounce around. When they land, a dozen horses appear, summoned by magic, and trample Dirk Strider.

HARRY: dad? are you...cool?

I dash forward, slicing John across the chest. As my blade tears through his flesh, a sudden burst of wind knocks Dirk away. John flies forward and smashes his hammer down on Dirk’s skull.

I focus on the bouncing dice. I see in my mind what they must be and it becomes so. Eight dice land with the one facing up. The Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer explodes in John’s hand, taking his arm with it. As John clutches his stump, his son attempts to stab me in the back. I easily sidestep him and knock his sheers away with my sword.

Harry’s fist surrounds with black tendrils as he punches me in the stomach. It hurts, more than I expected, but I’ve long since ascended beyond the point where pain affects me. I grab him by the throat and lift him up, crushing his throat with my bare hands. A stab through the skull would have killed him instantly, but it wouldn’t have been cruel enough. After all, I’m the villain. It behooves me to be menacing.

Harry Anderson Egbert scratches at the back of my hand with his fingernails, trying to tear away my iron grasp. He struggles to breathe. An ironic end, for the son of the Heir of Breath. His eyes roll back in his head as he falls unconscious.

A tornado erupts from John Egbert. The spinning blue wind tears the battleship to pieces. Canons and chunks of metal fall down towards Earth C as Drik loses his grip on Harry. John flies forward and slams his hammer into Dirk’s chest.

I get it now. My domination of the narration normally allows me control over the actions of others. Not complete, but enough to guide things towards the necessary outcome. Except, John Egbert hasn’t been bound by canon in years, not since he touched the Ultimate Weapon. I can’t control him.

He slams the hammer into me and my sword slips from my grasp and begins falling towards the planet. John isn’t a fighter. He doesn’t realize how strong he is. His wind is strong enough to tear apart planets and right now 100% of it is concentrated in crushing me into a fine red paste.

Of course, this is exactly what I planned for. John is so distracted on hurting me that he doesn’t pay attention to his son falling down from heaven, abandoned like Icarus after venturing close to the sun. He doesn’t pay attention to my katana as it stabs through the sky. The tornado holding me in place shoots it down like a rocket. I can’t control John, but I can control my sword. I guide it like a missile to its destination in Harry Anderson Egbert’s chest.

JOHN: harry anderson!

John takes his attention off me for the briefest of moments, giving me the time to stab my fingers into his chest. He screams as I grab hold of his heart. Magenta bolts of lightning flow from my hand into John Egbert’s body. The lightning saws through the metaphysical connection points, severing John’s soul from his body. As I tear him apart from the inside, a light breaks through his chest, so bright it would blind me if I wasn’t wearing my kickass anime shades. The light is shaped like a house. The Ultimate Weapon, the source of John’s bullshit retcon powers, hidden away within his body.

John transforms into wind. The wind dives after Harry Anderson as he falls from space. John reforms around his son and cradles him as he slowly descends down to the ground. They land in the middle of a field.

JOHN: it’s okay! it’s going to be okay!

John blubbers like a baby as he cradles the bloody soon-to-be corpse of his brat. The kid tries to say something, but he only gets out gurgles due to the sword in his lung. I decide to be nice and remove it. I appear behind John and, with a single movement, faster than the eye can see, draw the sword from Harry’s body and swing it, cleaving off John Egbert’s head.

Harry crashes down in the grass as John’s body falls over. I hold out my sword and skewer John’s head as it lands, the tip of my blade coming out of his eye. In another plane of existence, a grandfather clock’s pendulum swings between two judgments, Heroic and Just. I put my hand on the scale, forcing John’s death to be heroic.

As I wipe John’s blood from my sword using my cape, I feel the scissors stab me in the back. Damnit. I was distracted by controlling the clock and forgot about Harry. He’s injured, but has his teeth gritted in anger. He clutches a large pair of shears, made out of thin black tendrils. A weapon made out of pure Doom that pokes out of the heart symbol on my shirt, having gone through the black lump of coal that is my actual heart.

Harry Anderson is the Bard of Doom. He’s a destroyer, just like me, and Doom is his weapon. This terrible planet, the insurmountable odds, the hole in his chest, the death of his father, all of these things make him stronger. He concentrates the power of the Candy timeline into his tendrils.

The Doom spreads through my body. My flesh rots away, bit by bit. It feels just like it did when the Stardust consumed me. Before it’s too late, I cut my own head off.

Harry Anderson struggles to breath as he crawls towards his father’s corpse.

HARRY: this is stupid.

HARRY: you don’t talk for me for years and then the first time you actually try and give a shit about me you die.

HARRY: you’re a god. gods don’t die. get up.

HARRY: please.

DIRK: That isn’t going to happen.

I look down upon the injured child, my arms crossed. If it wasn’t such a cliche, I would call him pathetic. I can’t die, not really. I have long since transcended beyond a physical being. I exist as a disembodied consciousness existing outside of any universe, who interacts with others by puppeteering a physical form. It is trivial for me to conjure another body out of nothingness.

I raise my hand into the air. A large ball of energy appears above my palm, growing larger until it blocks out any light from the sun. The death ball I have summoned is made out of pure, concentrated destruction. It will tear apart the souls of this putrid rock and restore the purity it has taken from my canon. And it won’t take twenty goddamn episodes to do so.

I toss the death ball. Harry holds out his hands, firing all of the energy he can muster in a doomed attempt to hold back the ball. He thinks he’s the brave shonen protagonist fighting for his home, but he isn’t. He’s a crappy OC who should have never existed. This isn’t death. It’s a mercy.

Blue wind wraps around the ball of energy. It disappears, pulled out of reality by John’s retcon powers.

Fuck.

I turn around to see John’s corpse hovering five feet off the ground. His head is still gone, but in its place sits a skull made of wind wearing John’s glasses. The light from the Ultimate Weapon is brighter than it has ever been.

John punches himself in the chest. A thousand different copies of his arm appear around Dirk, pummeling his new body to a bloody pulp.

I swing my sword but an arm grabs it and retcons it out of existence.

I hold out my hands and fire my electricity. It begins ripping the Ultimate Weapon out of John’s chest but the lightning stops when another fist hits Dirk in the stomach. John holds his hand out and his wind flies into the portal on his chest.

None of this is happening. I refuse to let it happen and thus it does not. I’m the narrator. That’s why the fucking text is orange.

The wind spreads through the source code of canon, wiping the text color clean.

DIRK: What did you do?

DIRK: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?

The light from the Ultimate Weapon shines on Dirk. He screams as he is dragged in. He appears in an empty white box, where he will remain for a very long time. He pounds on the walls of his cage.

DIRK: LET ME OUT!

DIRK: LET ME OUT!

The thing that defeated Dirk Strider walks over to Harry Anderson Egbert. He waves his hand and his son’s wounds disappear, erased from ever having happened.

JOHN: my father died when I was young.

JOHN: it was really hard on me. i guess it’s gonna be pretty hard on you.

JOHN: and now i’m realizing how much must have sucked that he didn’t get to watch his son grow up.

John fades away into wind and disappears.

HARRY: dad?

No answer comes.

[princecosmosanon]

Heya! First, I just wanna say I'm a huge fan of hotm and can't wait to read more! Your style and characterization are fantastic, and the story has such great flow. It's easy to read and enjoy. c: I was curious about what other works you've posted? Obviously, you're anonymous so I can't really stalk your ao3 account and binge your other works, but I love abo, especially in the ATLA fandom and was wondering about what else you've written and if you'd be willing to share some of it.

Hello! Thank you for reading Hearts on the Mend and sending me a nice message! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it so far! Hopefully I’ll manage a chapter again soon, but I’ve had a bit of a dry spell with writing, so I couldn’t put a date to it.

That being said, if you’d like to read any of my other fanfics, I actually have them linked in my pinned post on this tumblr account. There’s only three of them, including Mend, but they’re all omegaverse, so perhaps you’ll like them!

The first is How to Seduce Your Husband, another zukka fic but this one has Zuko as an Omega and Sokka as the Alpha. They meet at a fancy party meant to be used as a faux mate hunt and end up together before they even know one another. When I first started writing it, I was inspired by Behind the War Worn Mask by zeerogue, which is another arranged marriage Zukka fic, as well as When in Fódlan by PumpkinSpiceHimbo, a Fire Emblem Three Houses omegaverse Claurenz short story.

Just the idea of meeting someone you’re fated to be with, and having to cover your face at first and hide your true self… it just inspired me! But as it stands, How to isn’t finished either lmao whoops

The third fic I’ve written (and still isn’t finished) is different from Mend or How to. I must preface this by saying this one is not for everyone. It’s called Heaven Sent/Hellbent and it’s not a Zukka fic. Instead, it’s a Piandao/Zuko omegaverse story.

In HS/H Piandao is forced to marry Zuko basically right after Zuko gets burned by Ozai, and Piandao is like “fuck that” and basically makes it his life’s goal to keep Zuko as his ward. After Aang appears and takes down Ozai, Piandao officially annuls their sham of a marriage and Zuko becomes the next Fire Lord. This fic jumps between the past, when Zuko is living with Piandao as his ward, and the present, when Zuko is several years into being the Fire Lord and is now being pressured to produce an heir to the throne.

As you can see, it’s got some crazy things going on, but I did fuck around with the age gap in that one. Piandao actually doesn’t have an official age in the Avatar universe, we just know that canonically he’s the youngest of the white lotus members, so I changed things around a bit. But there’s no underage sex in the fic and the characters don’t get romantically involved until Zuko is in his mid 20s so… take that as you will. Again, it’s not a fic for everyone and I won’t be upset if you’re like “ew, no.”

Anyway, these are the three current writing projects I’ve got going so far. I do hope you enjoy them, whether it’s just the one or all of them! I like writing but it’s difficult trying to stay afloat in this capitalist hellscape and manage my free time otherwise. But knowing there’s still people out there who like my stories enough to send me little notes and questions always makes me smile :)

As always, thanks for reading!

~Prince Cosmos Anon

[77ngiez-archive]

hey there, user who is accusing me of being a proshipper! i know you’re stalking my blog, so i know you’ll see this ^_^

under the cut so my beloved mutuals dont have to scroll past

okay, you took the monaca and kotoko animatic out of context. obviously theyre toxic in canon, it’s fucking danganronpa. the au is one where they’re older, and the events of drae are veeeery different. also, i only tagged it as ship because it implies kotoko has feelings for monaca… which, you know, is something that is in canon? lol

clearly you didn’t read anything besides the tags on my chatfic. at the end of the first chapter notes, i put a disclaimer about the sanniuri. basically, when i first got into sdra2, i started shipping sanniuri due to a writer i admired. i was only at about chapter two of the game when i began shipping it, so i didn’t realize it was toxic. i also began shipping irl sanniuri. since we know nothing about irl mikado, he’s basically my oc at this point. by the time i realized sanniuri was toxic, i already had a bunch of irl sanniuri hcs. and since, surprise, the way i view it isn’t toxic because irlkado is basically my oc at this point, i still ship it.

supporting ao3 doesn’t make me proship. ao3 is literally the best fanfic site, because it has a legal team, awesome tagging system, site layout, etc. i don’t think that them not taking down fics with problematic elements means i should stop using it. is there a single fanfiction website out there that manages to expunge every ounce of problematic works? no. ao3 is the best site i’ve found, because at least everything is properly tagged.

leosaya isn’t problematic. THEY WERE IN A KILLING GAME, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. CLEARLY PEOPLE’S RELATIONSHIP IS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT DEPENDING ON WHETHER OR NOT THEY’RE IN A FIGHT TO THE DEATH. HONESTLY.

the reason i only posted about you misgendering me and didn’t try to defend myself was because i have been harassed by a proshipper for a while. and every time i posted about them or PROSHIPPERS IN GENERAL, i was screenshotted and placed on their blog, and faced with more harassment. so i’ve been trying to keep quiet about anything pertaining to that!

NAEJUNKO ISN’T TOXIC. THEY’RE ENEMIES ONLY IN THE KILLING GAME. AND IT’S CLEAR THAT THEY STILL CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER ANYWAY (JUNKO SAYS IN SDR2 THAT SHE LOVES HIM, MAKOTO NEVER WANTED HER TO DIE). FUCK. OFF.

junkan is listed as selective on my edit blog because i don’t really have an opinion on it. we don’t know if it was actually abusive or not in canon, because we knew next to nothing about it in canon, besides mikan’s devotion to junko. i don’t care enough about it to blacklist, i don’t like it enough for it not to be selective.

i. am. a. minor. i have had my being a minor on my carrd this entire time. one of my friends and i have met up irl, and we have pictures of it, proving that i’m a minor.

you’re an asshole. just block me and move on instead of stalking my blog and trying to turn my friends against me.

oh yeah, also, the weed fic is literalyl just a fic where teruya otori tries and fails to obtain weed (among other things, such as kinjomae and yuki angst).

[squirrelno2]

this is the year in review thing but I reject the gif so. Here we are with whatever this is

I posted 107 times in 2022

19 posts created (18%)

88 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blackandblue13

@blueskiesandstarrynights

@kote-wan

@keldabekush

@imaginariumgeographica

I tagged 104 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#star wars - 39 posts

#clone wars - 18 posts

#julie and the phantoms - 17 posts

#gifset - 10 posts

#somebodys very good fanart - 9 posts

#andor - 8 posts

#fanfic - 6 posts

#julie molina - 5 posts

#fanfic related - 4 posts

#art - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#no but actually he looks so downtrodden and small and the looks they're wearing in the first one like they're wary of us the audience. ouch

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Me at myself in the mirror at 3:50 in the afternoon one day: the thing about the sequel trilogy of star wars is that Finn was in the perfect position to be a foil to Kylo Ren and a hopeful spin on the character of Anakin Skywalker and the fact that nobody even noticed these parallels is a testament to the power of racism and the fact that bigotry actually makes you a worse writer

No but. Anakin’s out here with his introduction in the prequels as a slave, and it’s poorly done but implied that the pain and fear of that part of his life impacts how he interacts with… basically everything ever, and ultimately makes him susceptible to palpatine’s grooming; your mileage may vary on the ratio of canon to fanon in this interpretation but I think we can all agree being a slave from birth is gonna fuck a kid up and there’s a reason why George lucas chose this particular backstory for him.

So you’ve got Kylo Ren, eschewing a family that cares for him (please don’t talk to me about whatever the fuck was going on in those last jedi flashbacks first of all that’s bad writing babe and second, we’re talking solely about the expectations and possibilities established in force awakens because there’s not enough narrative or character consistency in the sequel trilogy to take. Anything as a whole there) in order to chase after this version of his grandfather that isn’t even the version he died as. Like! Whether you think Anakin/Vader achieved redemption or simply did one good thing at the end of his life, we all know that act of sacrifice on Luke’s behalf is. The definition of Star Wars. Vader choosing to do good in his last moments was what the original trilogy built towards and what the prequel trilogy always knew, and it’s this fucked up spectre over everything Kylo Ren says or does in Force Awakens because he’s out here pleading with the ghost of a man who is not real, he’s chasing Vader instead of Anakin Skywalker and ignoring the choices his own grandpa made in the name of… honouring him somehow???

And then there’s Finn. Finn who’s been raised since who knows when but definitely childhood given he has no name to remember to be a weapon for the First Order. Somehow I doubt they pay their stormtroopers, somehow I expect their education is more indoctrination than anything, somehow I doubt Finn was ever instilled with a sense that he as a person mattered – Finn’s a slave when we meet him. Unequivocally. And this man who’s known nothing else his entire life turns around and says “actually I think I will do good things or at least stop doing bad ones” and runs the fuck away, freeing himself. (and also Poe. Something something the act of saving others in turn saves you, this is my eternal soapbox but that’s not my point right now)

Finn is afraid, and very nearly runs away from the fight like “I’m safe so it doesn’t matter what happens to others” – when satisfied that Rey is safe (and under the impression that Poe is dead) he feels no strong compulsion to protect an ambiguous “rest of the galaxy” which honestly is exactly the vibes Anakin Skywalker has for pretty much all his life. Anakin would be a hero because the people he cared about wanted him to be. He fought for Padme and Obi-Wan and frigging Palpatine (and Ahsoka, I say, skipping outside the movies for a hot second because I love her) first and foremost, and the Jedi and the Republic because those were the causes his loved ones cared about. Finn has the opportunity to get away, to protect himself for the first time in his life, and he doesn’t have to worry about the few people he cares about so he very nearly goes for it.

Then the thing is, Finn, unlike Anakin, doesn’t let that fear rule him? He turns around and goes back for Rey, follows Poe, stays with the Resistance. He gets to be terrified but he also says that terror isn’t his only motivating factor, and that his self-interest matters less to him than the galaxy – a choice Anakin struggled to make until literally the end of his life.

In conclusion, if the sequel trilogy had stuck to its guns and been about the tragedy of history as a cycle and the way we cling to idealised pasts and torture ourselves over might-have-beens (and also how that inaction and obsession with history allows the rise of fascism bc we spend so much time patting ourselves on the back for defeating ��the bad guy’ we ignore what gave the bad guy power) – if it had been a well written story Finn should have been a hopeful twist to the story of Darth Vader, a man who faced the same struggles as Anakin but made better, kinder choices, which would bring it nicely full circle considering George Lucas was like. Very into star wars as being about Vader

But nope we had to have whatever that poorly written racist tug-of-war was instead. I don’t know about you but I need better fandoms

6 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#4

WAIT I stim by singing to myself and the boys canonically improvise with each other - they improvise to stim

That's it that's the post I'm just furthering my everybody-in-jatp-is-neurodivergent agenda

7 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

#3

The way two different people I followed years and years ago for completely different things have posted in the last three days about missing julie and the phantoms... Fucking hell Netflix do you see what you've done. This show was for everyone and you've ruined it. Can you imagine if these people had posted about jatp before now. I might have actually verbally interacted with people I've quietly awkwardly admired for years.

8 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#2

Midway through Andor and I don't have very solid thoughts, at least not ones that haven't been said already by ppl much better at saying them, but something about seeing the ppl on Aldhani have this religious experience while all this shit goes on behind them. The way the whole chaos of the interspliced scenes quiets for a moment as the sky lights up - and then it's right back to the heist because they don't care because they can't afford to care and it's not their belief anyway

The empire sees the Eye as this thing to gawk at and Cassian and co are looking at the Eye as part asset part obstacle, just something to navigate through, and it would be easy to stay with their perspectives, but instead we get these moments of wonder and community, the culture that these people are trying to protect independently of all this galactic scale stuff - and then of course we also know that the empire is doing their level best to take that away too

I'm not phrasing any of this well but man that aspect of it really got to me and I'm not even sure why, fully

8 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I wrote a Big Bang fic!!! the amazing @willexmagic was my partner and made some lovely moodboards which I will be reblogging in a hot second, and I had a lot of fun (and maybe some tears) working on this monstrosity of a Superman AU

If you’ve ever wanted Flynn and Carrie to be Clark Kent and Lois Lane (or even if you haven’t and just want superhero content?) then here is the fic! Featuring my usual favourite things of friend angst, sad Flynn hours, and ensemble cast shenanigans, as well as me wandering wildly through some of my favourite coomic book tropes.

15 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jingyi-ma-boi]

I’m going to join in on the fun, If you’ll allow me, cause it makes so much sense that SY is SJ reincarnated. Not only because of everything you’ve said, but also because of the enormous time span between one life and the other. Before re-entering the reincarnation wheel, SJ’s soul would have had to spend centuries atoning for his sins, receiving his due punishment in the different levels of Diyu (yes, he was already tortured in life, but that doesn’t count in Yan Wang’s book). Bingge’s search for his own kind Shizun alone makes for fantastic fanfic fodder.

Now, who’s the real God of timelines? Well, it makes perfect sense that as a disciple of Meng Mo, Bingge tampered with Airplane’s dream realm to ensure that he wrote PIDW. He’s an Immortal Demon, cross-realm Emperor. Of course he’s the God of timelines. There’s no other way. The question is how he gets to the point of becoming the System, right?

Scenario 1: He shows Airplane only crucial snippets of his life journey, allowing him to build on the idea with creative freedom.

This leaves room for ample divergence from Bingge’s actual past, meaning that PIDW is loosely based on his life (kinda like dramatized biopics and biographies) while being accurate enough that SY!SQQ acquires the leverage he has on SVSSS. The ‘creative freedom’ bit is relevant, cause it supports the fact that initially, Airplane had a totally different idea for the plot that gets sidetracked in favour of fan service.

Now this means that Bingge’s existence is totally independent from PIDW. Maybe Airplane’s original outline resembles more Bingge’s actual past. Maybe parts of the fan service are an exaggerated version of the snippets Aireplane got in his dreams. Either way, this Bingge that manipulates Airplane’s dreams is not a book character but a divine being capable of both, traveling among universes and creating his own as he wishes. Whatever it is that Airplane writes in the end, doesn’t affect him but the version of him that SY believes he knows. As long as it makes his kind Shizun bent on getting in his good graces, anything goes.

Airplane is a simple tool that Bingge rewards with the honor of allowing him to self-insert himself in the story and transmigrating in return for his service. In this scenario, Bingge could’ve chosen anyone to be Airplane (explaining why his ID is the only relevant information about his identity that we get in SVSSS), and his transmigration isn’t even necessary. But Bingge thinks that SY will appreciate having someone from his og timeline with him.

In this scenario, the Bingge vs Bingmei extra can either be Bingge traveling into the future unknowingly, a premonitory dream of his that he fixates on, or him accidentally jumping into the SVSSS universe before knowing it was his creation. Whatever it is, Bingge’s the one kickstarting the time-paradox.

Scenario 2. He shows Airplane small snippets of his life knowing that whatever he writes will directly affect Bingge’s existence.

Instead of granting him actual creative freedom, Bingge wants Airplane to think he possesses such freedom. He has the perfect plan: have the writer make some subtle but vital changes to PIDW and reap the benefits by going back to his own kind Shizun.

Airplane cannot know the entirety of Bingge’s life story cause he could either leave it as it is, or change things he shouldn’t. Enter time-traveling chaotic shenanigans where Bingge’s fuck-ups when trying to improve his own life cause the dreaded, unescapable canon events. This part would be so fun to write/read. Bingge trying to force Airplane to give him a kind Shizun, failing in the process, and discovering that he caused his own biggest tragedies trying to escape fate can be hilarious or angsty AF, hurt/no-comfort. Choose your fighter!

In the end, when he realizes he cannot change his past, Bingge has his big revelation and the gears of plan ‘become a System and make Shizun fall in love with me’ start running.

I could stop here and call it a day cause this is already long enough. BUT. HEAR ME OUT! How would it work if the actual God of timelines was Airplane? The same way he could be anyone as long as he knows how to write because we lack background information on him, Airplane can be a God because we lack background information on him.

Scenario 3. Bingge has an existential crisis and refuses to believe his life depends on the whims of a writer.

This is my personal favourite. Bingge stumbles upon SY and Airplane’s universe by accident, while looking for his kind Shizun. As a fictional character, he shouldn’t have been able to traverse universes outside of fiction. He breaks the 4th wall going down on a metaphysical rabbit hole à la Unamuno’s Mist, fighting his creator in a battle of wills.

During their tug-of-war, Bingge learns about SJ’s reincarnation into this universe’s SY. That gets him running. If this God who created them and the universe he calls PIDW, was able to influence the universe he lives in by overseeing SJ’s reincarnation, there should be a way for Bingge to exert that same power. He learns that SY’s passage through this other universe is a test to his atonement in Diyu and refuses to accept that the only way for him to enjoy life with his Shizun is hoping to reincarnate in the same time and place as him. This is not his place, no matter how much he wants to fight this hamster God for his Shizun. And neither is it SY’s. He’s glad his Shizun hasn’t gone through his past life’s torments, but he deserves power, recognition, immortality. He can only get that back in their own universe.

Next thing Airplane knows, he has fallen into Bingge’s trap —he’s forcibly thrown into PIDW, the pocket universe he’s been toying with, carrying out every experiment he couldn’t do in the actual universe he was assigned to reign over. Him being born as SQH and going through a whole life of tiresome trials is Bingge’s vengeance. SY’s transmigrating when LBH is already 15 instead of at an earlier point is just so he can make sure SQH doesn’t know where to look. That damn hamster would’ve noticed if SY transmigrated before that point. By the time he starts behaving OOC after a convenient Qi deviation, it can easily pass as SY’s soul being reincarnated where it belongs as a reward and an ultimate test to the strength of his atonement. Bingge’s no God, but he’s managed to best one.

When SQH finally realizes what’s going on, it’s too late for him to act. His System had been working just like it did when it helped him operate on Earth. He couldn’t have known it was the freaking demon he created. He doesn’t know until SY discovers him and he starts going on about his own System. Now he can only get close to SQQ in hopes that Bingge will spare him on account of being his Shizun’s bro, and bid his time to come up with his own plan. This also explains his grumpiness because bro you’ve turned this into a fucking danmei. He’s not complaining to SY, but to Bingge, cause he knows he’s in there listening. In the end, SQH stops caring because being Mobei Jun’s wife is more fun, and the prospects of what punishments might be waiting for him if he got out aren’t attractive.

Sometimes I wonder if Shen Yuan is Shen Jiu himself, just from a different timeline. Shen Yuan is what Shen Jiu could have been if he had the right upbringing — A Sharp, cutthroat nerd with a silver tongue.

People oftentimes forget that Shen Yuan is actually pretty smart when he is not freaking out or fanboy-ing. Maybe not going through the same sickening circumstances of the PIDW world never lead him to develop the wicked shrewdness of Shen Jiu but there are still some uncanny similarities.

Since, some people theorise that Shen Yuan used to be chronically ill in the modern universe, it forces me to think if Shen Jiu ever incurred severe soul damage from Bingge's torture that lead him to be reborn with a weak constitution in the modern universe. The only purpose of Shen Yuan's life could have been to atone for his sins and break the cycle of abuse in the PIDW universe. And everything was planned and settled by the superior being that is the "System" as it cut through and merged different realities and timelines.

It's a different kind of multiverse of madness.

[arodabi]

I kno all this ship talk is getting annoying but i just wanted to make a post explaining why the way alloros treat aro characters bugs me specifically. And then I’ll shut up, maybe

I want to make it clear that i do not care if a couple assholes online write fanfic where aro character kisses ppl or is in romantic relationships. Y’all are right, some fanfics here and headcanons there don’t matter. I’ve been in fandoms where small groups of fans got mad that a character was a lesbian and started blogs just to post about how actually she was 100% straight. That’s still bad and I’m not here excusing those ppls homophobia, but it was also like a small drop in the bucket compared to how much fan content existed portraying her as a lesbian and canon enforcing it as well. At the end of the day it didn’t change her identity.

And i haven’t seen this as much but i have seen some ppl declare Todd bojackhorseman (one of the most prominent asexual characters) to actually be allosexual bc they hate ace ppl or something. I also honestly don’t give a shit about that. Not only do most people know that Todd is canonically ace, he has multiple plot lines in the show about being ace. Saying he’s not is just factually untrue.

But when a character doesn’t have those plotlines, when they never say asexual or aromantic, when all the in canon confirmation we have is “it’s just not my thing” or “I’d rather have a dog than children” or “I’m not x identity I’m nothing” or even just an external tweet from the creative team confirming it, it’s a lot easier to erase their identity. Fuck, I’ve seen a character say “i am incapable of feeling romantic attraction, i never have and i never will” and ppl still not only deny that they’re aro, it’s not even questioned that they’re alloromantic. Every time i post offhandedly about peridot from Steven universe being canonically aroace, i still have aspec ppl every time comment about how they never knew she was canonically aro bc the entire fandom continues to deny and erase her canon identity.

Ppl say “uhhh one fanfic isn’t gonna change a characters canon identity sweaty :)” “one persons headcanons don’t negate canon :))))” but when Everyone does that it does erase their identity! When nobody acknowledges it then a bunch of aspec ppl don’t even know they’re being represented! Fandoms will take scraps of tweets or one line references to enforce and prove their ship or head canon is actually canon, but when writers say “this character has never been in love” or “this character cares deeply about others but would never dream of dating or marrying anyone” then it’s “uwu but that doesn’t prove anything! U don’t have to be a heartless aro to not be a fan of dating uwu”

When the only confirmation we have is a line or two and everyone wants to steamroll over that bc their ship is more important to the point where PEOPLE LITERALLY DONT EVEN KNOW THAT CHARACTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE AROMANTIC then i have a problem! That is erasure! You are taking away our representation! You literally are doing that! And not to get into speculation but if a bunch of creators see that people fucking hate when a character is canonically aspec, they might not want to give us rep if the whole fandom turns and says “fuck you for doing that, you’re ruining my experience” i’ve seen at least one creator say “I’m not gonna confirm this characters identity because it will piss people off” when that character was previously known to be aromantic. So thanks for that i guess. I’m glad at least that there was backlash to ppl erasing yelenas identity, enough backlash to get aromantic to #2 trending which i have never seen before. At least now people are aware of her identity, at least aspec people know that she shares our identity, and when it inevitably gets erased in the MCU, at least we’ll know to be pissed about it. But for many others, ppl just don’t know, because everyone chooses knowingly or unknowingly to cut that characters identity away from them, bc idk they think someone being aspec is boring or smthn

My final conclusion i suppose is just, if a aspec representation falls in the forest and nobody ever acknowledges it, does it benefit the people it’s representing

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.