#if anyone has any ideas on how to describe this past what i already have in the ID it would be greatly appreciated

[secondhand-lions]

my hand hurts

this was fun because it was completely circular until the 4th row

[mellowyellow236]

The TWST boys write letters to Yuu/The Prefect!

All of them except for Ortho+Checka are meant to be interpreted as romantic, but many can be interpreted as platonic as well. The reader is gender-neutral, but more feminine adjectives will be used when referring to them. Characters will probably be a bit OOC.

Minor spoilers for their respective books in each section, but I try to keep it as spoiler-free as I can, except for who overbloted. If anyone has any questions or comments, please leave an ask or comment :) All are under the cut.

NRC:

Heartslabyul:  

Riddle Rosehearts - 

My dearest rose, 

You are the loveliest person I have ever known. It is a miracle that you chose to get to know me, and even more so after I hurt you and your friends so deeply. I have made many mistakes, but you, my rose, look past them. I understand that you may choose to go home one day, but even so... 

Please just give me a moment of your time, a fraction of your thoughts, and I’ll be satisfied. Any inch of you that I can get, I want, even if you still believe me a tyrant. If it pleased you- No, if it only made you look my way, I would gladly break any rule of the queen’s or my mother’s. Understand that, my rose, and I am sure you’ll know what remains unsaid in this letter. 

Yours Truly, 

Riddle Rosehearts 

Trey Clover - 

Prefect, 

Hello. I wanted to thank you, first and foremost, for helping out Heartslabyul so much. You’ve been a very good influence on Ace and Duece, and it’s nice to see Cater open up to someone. Not to mention, Riddle’s been improving every day. I can’t even describe how much you’ve helped me... I just hope you know that I’ll always be grateful for what you’ve done. You’re welcome at Heartsabyul at any time. I have some donuts waiting for you if you want. 

From, 

Trey. 

Cater Diamond - 

Prefect, 

Heyyy! Whatcha doing right now? I’m sooooo happy that you came to NRC even if, like, all of the housewarden’s tried to ratio you. I do not subscribe to that, BTW. #NotCool, #Yikes-A-Tron. But,  like... On a more serious note, I am happy that I got to know you. It’s nice to have someone I can just be myself around. No drama, no expectations, just... Yeah. I know that you’re gonna leave at some point, and it’s almost a relief. You’re honest about it, which is something that many can’t say. 

Ugh, that was probs TMI! I’m not trying to trauma dump here, oops. There’s this cute cafe that opened up downtown, totally Magicam-worthy. You wanna meet up there sometime? 

- Cay-cay ♦️  

Ace Trapolla - 

Prefect!! 

I need your help! So, Trein’s got this super hard test coming up on Friday- Like, Riddle-got-a-99-last-year level of hard. Yeah, that’s without the extra credit, but STILL! That’s failure to the tyrant! So, you’ve got to come over to Heartslabyul right now and help me study. Pleaseeeee!!!! I’ll owe you one! 

Oh, and don’t bring Grim. Deuce’s also got plans, there’s no need to ask him. You know, in case that matters to you. 

See ya, 

Ace 

Deuce Spade - 

Dear Prefect, 

Hello, how are you doing? Can you believe that it’s already been so long since we became friends? When we broke that chandelier, I was ready to never talk to you again... But now look at us! I’m on my way to becoming an honor student, and you’re working on finding your way home! I’m happy that you’re going to be able to go soon, I know how bad it feels not to be able to see your family (and probably friends in your case) after so long away, but also sad that you’ll be leaving us. 

I’ve got it! Let’s get your ghost camera, and we’ll take lots of photos of us all over campus! Two of each, so that way no matter what, both of us will always remember what we went through together. That sounds like a good idea, right? 

From, 

Duece 

Savanaclaw: 

Leona Kingscholar - 

Herbivore, 

Hey. You’re an idiot, you know that? You’re stupid and impulsive and don’t know when to quit or give up. That’s why you keep looking for me in the botanical gardens, right? You just don’t know when to stop. I’m sure that you’ll realize I’m not worth your effort soon enough. But until then, you have to come to see me more often. You’re my pillow, I don’t get good enough sleep if you’re not there. 

I’m in the usual place. Get over here as soon as possible. 

- Leona 

Ruggie Bucchi - 

Hiya, Prefect... 

I’ve been thinking, and you should let me come over to Ramshackle and fix the place up for you. No upfront cost, of course, but... I want the right to use the kitchen as I please, whenever I please. 

Why, you’re asking? Shishishi... Not telling. You’ve just got to trust me on this, I’ll make it worth your while. Then again, maybe I’ll just blow the kitchen up and you’ll have to live at Savanclaw again! That’d be fun, huh? 

If you don’t want me to, ya better give up your kitchen for a little while! I’ll get that microwave up and running again in no time.

- Ruggie 

Jack Howl - 

Dear Prefect, 

Hello, have you been feeling alright? I’ve noticed that Crowley isn’t the best provider of food. While on my morning runs, I’ve noticed Grim loudly talking about how he doesn’t have enough tuna. He does it pretty often. So, I’ve thought of a solution; You could try eating breakfast with me. I always get big portions, so you could have some. If you want, I could even try lifting you and carrying you places. I need to get better strength training anyway, and then you’ll have a buddy to get stronger with. It’s always better to have a friend with you. 

From, 

Jack 

Octavinelle: 

Azul Ashengrotto - 

My Pearl, 

Allow me to start this letter by saying that you are truly the crown jewel of my riches and that none can replace your beauty. You are the loveliest, most perfect little pearl, and I adore you with my whole heart. And yet, I cannot seem to convince myself that you feel the same. You say you do, and even if it is a crime to believe your lips hold lies, I cannot believe that to be true. If it was, why? Not just why you would tell me- A scheming man who has hurt you and your friends- that I hold the keys to your heart, but why you would choose what I hold underneath. I’m no good for you in terms of personality or how I look, and yet... You still hold me dear. And for that alone, I want to take you to the Coral Sea where my home lies, but not for a deal this time. Just... Because I want you and my mother in the same place. The two most important people to me meeting... That’s the best thing I can think of, to be honest. 

With Love, 

Azul Ashengrotto 

Jade Leech - 

Dearest Prefect, 

It has come to my attention that you haven’t had a chance to enjoy a proper mushroom dish since arriving in Twisted Wonderland. Now, that will not do for much longer. This letter should contain a box with three containers worth of mushroom dishes. You are to eat them and write back to me with what you thought of each of them. In return, I shall continue to provide you with free food. 

Do be warned, however, that they should all be eaten as fast as possible once you get them in case my brother chooses to throw them out. Also, so that way Grim cannot eat them. I would not recommend it for a cat.

Kind Regards, 

Jade Leech 

Floyd Leech - 

Shrimpy!!!!!! 

You and me. In the courtyard. Now. 

I’m going to squeeze you. 

🐬°˖𓍢✨໋ 🐋✧°.🐟⋆ 

🦐🥢🥢🥢🥢🧨 

I’ll see you later if you want me to or not. 

- Floyd <3333333 

Scarabia: 

Kalim Al-Asim - 

Hello!!!!

I love you!!! I love you, I love you, I love you! You’re the most wonderful person in this school, and you’ve done so much for both me and Jamil! It would be silly for me not to love you. I love how your hair looked in the wind when we went on that carpet ride, I love how you looked in the school’s uniform and how you looked when you tried on my dorms, and I love how you look no matter how you dress because you’re a beautiful person inside and out! I love you, and nothing can change that! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ 

Hugs and kisses, 

Kalim Al-Asim 

P.S. Let’s go on another magic carpet ride soon, okay? I want to show you how pretty the moon looks when it’s full and you’re flying!

Jamil Viper - 

Dear Prefect,

Thank you for saving me when I overblotted. I am aware that what I did was wrong, and I apologize. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. Either way, I feel as though I must do something more for you to show you that. Please come to Scarabia tonight. I will make you a special dinner if you do. Please, don’t tell Kalim. I want... something special, for the two of us this time. 

See you later, 

Jamil Viper

Pomefiore: 

Vil Schoenheit - 

My Dearest Potato, 

I regret to inform you that you have bewitched me. So much so that I willingly took on a role as a villain in this next movie. The villain falls in love with the hero’s love interest, and then, in a “shocking” turn of events, she chooses the villain to stand by. Of course, they’re both defeated, the hero gets with his childhood friend in some lesson of how love will always be waiting for you, whatever. But I still chose it, even if Neige plays the hero. 

I finally have a love interest, and they remind me of you. You could have stood by his side, you know. You should have. I poisoned him; That action speaks for itself. And yet, you decided to stay with me. Just like how that villain in this story gets the girl the hero originally wanted. 

I’ve won your heart as well, haven’t I? 

Sincerely, 

Vil Schoenheit 

Rook Hunt - 

Trickster, 

Bonjour, mon amour! I could not resist sending you another letter. You see my darling, I long for you like I long for the sunset on a hot day, for an oasis in a desert, for a hint of rain during the dry season, for the sun during the days when it pours. I'd imagine you'd taste like the rain as well, Trickster, and if given the chance, I'd taste again and again, in an attempt to satiate more than just my curiosity. 

Oh, Trickster, have you any idea how you’ve bewitched me? Why, just the sight of you is enough to send me spiraling, wishing for the smallest fraction of a chance that my affections are shared. How cruel is fate, to deny me the right to live and die within your arms? La petite mort would be heaven if it was with you, but death would truly come for me if it wasn’t. 

Je t'aime de tout mon coeur, 

Le Chasseur D'Armour 

Epel Felmeir - 

Prefect, 

I need some help. I found out that milk can make ya grow stronger, and also help you get taller. However, Vil has banned me from drinking it because I drank a carton in two days. Something about it raising my cholesterol or making me break out, I don’t care. So, I need to keep it at Ramshackle. That’s okay with you, right? Well, I sure hope it is, cause it’s getting in there if ya want it to or not! I’ll see ya soon, just make sure it’s in the fridge. I’ll get ya some of my family’s apple juice in return, it’ll be good. I reckon ya liked it last time. 

Epel 

Ignihyde: 

Idia Shroud - 

Prefect, 

Get to my room, and fast. There’s an event taking place, and I need a player two. This one requires another person to be in the same room, so I can’t ask any of my mutuals, and you’re the only one I trust with this. I can’t ask Ortho either, don’t ask why. 

Also I recently got pink lights in my room like those normies. That’s why everything looks kind of pink, it’s not my hair. Just in case you were wondering if I was embarrassed or whatever, you’re wrong. Just get over here ASAP, no time to waste. 

- Gloomurai 

Ortho Shroud - 

Hello, how are you? ( ˵ •̀ ᴗ •́˵) I am very happy to get a chance to talk with you. I have recently learned how to type out these little faces called ‘kaomoji’ that my big brother loves. Here are some of my favorites: 

♡✧( •⌄• ) 

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

•ω• 

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ - This one is a cat! 

I would like to share more with you. Please come to Ignihyde so I can teach you how to get them on your phone as well. I can provide free updates while you’re here if needed. (✿˶◕‿◕˶人◕ᴗ◕✿) 

Sent To: PerfectPrefect@email.com 

Date: XX/XX/XXXX 

Return Email: orthoshroud2@email.com 

Diasomnia: 

Malleus Dracona - 

My Dearest Child Of Man, 

If Longing was painful, how much farther would I have to fall to crash and burn at your feet? The only answer I can give is that I already would have. I would build monuments in your name and would offer you the world and more if only you would say you loved me back. 

Could this be considered love? Could these feelings I hold deep within my heart, only to divulge in the darkest hours of the night with none but the stars and you to bear witness to my passion, be a form of love? Or is this simply my yearning, a longing for your heart, and wanting to have someone to call my own? 

The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were the one I wanted next. How I wish I could scream your name from the rooftop, and raise my voice in song only to sing your praises. You have the face of an angel, and I am sure that you must have the mind of one as well, for even if the voices in your head remind you of nothing more than pain and suffering, they have still been able to mold you into the perfection you are today. But maybe you have devils as well, trying to smite you as you sleep, but just as I do all of your angels, I will pick them up and kiss their heads if they are a part of someone I care for so much. You are perfection, Child of Man, and this dragon wishes only to live with the crumbs of affection as my treasures. 

Yours Until The End Of Eternity, 

Prince Malleus Dracona Of Briar Valley Hornton 

Lilia Vanrouge - (Okay so for Lilia I could have SWORN that he calls the prefect ‘Beastie,’ but I can find that nowhere. Literally at all, no one seems to have used it for him, but I know that I’ve seen at least one person do it. I now think that it’s a headcanon thing but I’m not sure, if anyone knows who did this or if it’s canon, please tell me. I’ve been searching for far too long and I am in too deep.)

Beastie, 

Hello, my darling~! I have an easy-peasy little request for you, m’kay? You just need to travel over to Diasomnia, and then... I’ll make you a meal! Malleus has been out trying to find this one gargoyle on campus all day since I brought up wanting to learn a new recipe, and Sebek and Silver both ran off earlier to go help him. I don’t know how to tell them that the gargoyle they’re looking for definitely isn’t at Night Raven College. Raising kids is quite hard, especially when things like this come up... 

But you’ll be there for me, won’t you, Beastie? Pretty please? I’ll see you tonight if you want to, a little date if you feel up to it. Mwah! 

xoxo, 

Lilia 

Silver “Vanrouge” - 

Dear Prefect, 

I had the most wonderful dream. I think I did, at least. I can’t remember it, but I remember how familiar these eyes were, and I knew it was you as soon as I awoke. And I know it's true, that dreams are seldom what they seem... But if I know how you are, then I know what you'll do; You'll look at me the same way you did once upon inside my dreams. And tell me all about the animals that you found with me when I awoke. What I wouldn’t give to hear you tell me about every birdie that comes to me; I’d be willing to fall asleep in the forest every day if only to hear you cooing to the birds when I come to. I wonder if each little bird has someone to sing sweet things to, a little love melody like what I long to play for you one day. Well, either way, I’m growing sleepy now. The effects of my curse will soon be on me once more. I’ll see you either later today or tomorrow, depending on how long I’m asleep. If you need me or simply wish to keep me company, I’m currently resting in the woods. 

Best Wishes, 

Silver 

Sebek Zigvolt - 

HUMAN! 

I have something to show you; A new notebook to be filled, gifted to me by Master Lilia. He said that it is a ‘scrapbook’, which humans fill up with pictures and drawings of themselves and their friends. To fulfill the purpose of this illustrious gift, you must come to Diasomnia at once! You shall be the first of the first years to be added, along with Silver. Prepare enough of those photographs you have to fill half of the book. The other shall be dedicated to Wakasama! 

Sincerely, 

Sebek Zigvolt  

RSA+NBC: 

Che’nya - 

Prefect... 

When are you going to visit RSA, huh? It would be purrr-fect to get a chance to see you again. You’re quite the pretty purr-son, dontcha think? Or maybe I’ll just drop by at the next unbirthday party... Riddle and Trey would like that, but I wonder what you’d think. Hum-hum-hummm... 

Kitty Kisses, 

Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker <3 

Neige Leblanche - (The Reader is called NRC’s ‘princess’ in this one, but not called a woman or anything)

My Dearest, 

Hello! How are you fairing? Have you been doing okay since the VDC? I know that you looked pretty shaken up back then, so I wanted to make sure that you’ve been okay. After all, you’re NRC’s princess! As far as I can tell, anyway. I’m happy that there’s someone around Vil like you, he always looked like he needed a good cheering up. And you’re like a fairytale! Such pretty hair and eyes and skin; Oh, I’d ride away with you on a white horse if I could! 

Ah, that’s odd to say to someone I don’t know very well, isn’t it? I’m sorry, that’s my fault. You still want to be friends, right? If you do, please come visit me at some point. Or, just send me a letter back. I’ll make sure that you get priority over any fan letter. 

Love, 

Neige Leblanche 

Rollo Flamme -

Mon Amour, 

There are times I wish I could tear you down and take you apart only to sew you back together. Rip you to shreds only to tenderly put each piece back where it should be. Drink from you until there's nothing left and then fill you up with all of the love I could offer, make you mine and mine alone. Those greedy thoughts shouldn't even make their way onto this paper, shouldn’t even be in my head, and yet here I am, penning them in a letter never to be sent. 

I truly wish you never see these letters, for I'd hate to be the reason your face turns to disgust, even if for a moment. Of course, I don't regret writing them. You will never read them, after all, but I believe I should get my thoughts out like this rather than bottle them up, lest I do something stupid and let you see them. I pray that you will never have to see me in a state like how I write to you, over my bedside table in the dead of night, eyes barely open and breath still recovering from dreams of a sweeter pleasure than I should sully your name with. 

I mention those dreams I have of you a lot, it seems, although I mean it in the most innocent way possible. Ever since I met you, you've infested my dreams and wormed your way into my heart like a parasite I can't rid myself of. My dreams are all of the sweet moments I have longed for and never gotten. I only have eyes for you, after all, and a saint may never lie with a sinner, lest they become one as well. 

Bonus: 

Checka Kingscholar - 

To Perfect, 

Hello! I am Checka Kingscholar. I am fiv years old. I like my unca. I like my dad and I love my mom. I love you! Goodbye! •ᴗ•

[loveyhoneydovey]

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon riley

notes & warnings: the used pictures are only for aesthetic purposes, reader is not physically described in this. AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS DNI this is an 18+ only blog. a significant age gap between simon & reader is implied but the actual number is never mentioned. if i missed anything please lmk:)

this is a completely unedited little something i wrote at 4am

reader who never fell out of love mechanic ex-boyfriend simon

you still recommend your ex-boyfriend’s garage to your friends (especially any vulnerable women) because despite your failed relationship, you’ve never met someone as trustworthy and reliable as simon 

you and mechanic simon who met when you’d found a used car you wanted to purchase and wanted to have it independently inspected 

reader who found this older, ruggedly handsome, stoic and yet professional mechanic who seemed to know his shit. despite the terrifying skull design resting next to his shop’s name, you trusted him immediately

not only did he inspect the car for you, but he also helped bring down its price and performed any necessary repairs at a huge discount (he never told you about this, you eventually figured it out on your own)

despite the obvious crush, he was very reluctant to pursue anything with you. not only were you his client and trusted him not to make things weird, but you were also so much younger and he felt like an old dog who was beyond learning any new tricks

you should’ve taken his warning from the beginning as he had predicted the downfall of your relationship before it’d even began

reader whose car has been acting weird for the past couple of months so you begrudgingly take it to simon’s shop

you’d actually tried taking it to some new garage in town, but had a feeling you were being lied to and overcharged when the sleazy mechanic barely spent an hour on it and said it was back like new

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who doesn’t even need 5 minutes to tell you it’s on its last leg. despite his stoic demeanor, he’s actually concerned by how you’ve been driving such a vehicle in such an unsafe state

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who starts asking till he finds a car within your budget. one he inspects himself to make sure his baby not anymore doesn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere because of faulty brakes

the fucker was ready to buy it himself, but knew you’d never accept his money (especially not after the harsh parting words you’d left each other with during your last fight)

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who’ll never love anyone more than you, but still isn’t willing to repair the broken bond between you two

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who still uses o’keeffe’s working hands cream every day cause you used to always rub it on his hands, swearing his calloused skin would soon feel like a baby’s butt (and of course you were right). he tries to mimic the way you’d gently work it into his damaged skin as the only thing he had left from you now were memories

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who never really tries to move on from you despite his apprentice’s attempts to set him up with multiple people (what’s the point of you for something he’s already found) 

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who went through the army and came out even more damaged after a stint in prison. he believes nothing good will come out of such a sweet thing so full of life being chained to a grumpy old man like him

mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who despite thinking all of that can’t accept the thought of you being with someone other than him

WHEW the is the first time i've written in YEARS (and i probably won't write anything for another good 5 years fjkdsw). hope you enjoyed this as much as i did!! this au idea has been rotting my brain for the past few days and i just had to let it out. feel free to dm me, leave a comment or send an ask about this au. dividers made by @anitalenia ✨

[talleyuh]

just finished the bear season 3 and there is such a collective cognitive dissonance from everywhere from the writing of the show all the way to the social media marketing.

i know i’m biased because i particularly like syd and carmy together, but this season was strange but in different ways than the last season was strange.

not only does carmy take a backseat as a protagonist about halfway through, he and syd have hardly any scenes together, but i think the show almost suffers for it. this season was certainly funnier than the last, but the neil and ted fak got old and old fast. it certainly doesn’t help that even though carmy has a new arc every season, but he doesn’t take the lessons he should’ve learned into how he should act going forward. it’s stunting his growth and now that we have three seasons to compare to one another, it’s only more apparent.

we’ve already talked about how funny characters are stronger than comic relief characters and that’s essentially what the faks are. i really liked neil’s more vulnerable moments where he got to be taken seriously but it’s hard to take him seriously when all of his screen time is him doing stupid shit. also the hauntings thing? it really was not that funny.

also the show is making such an active attempt to rewrite its own history and i don’t understand why. so many little details that connect moments from the past and present to make up who the characters are and yet it’s kind of being thrown out the window.

claire being described as carmy’s peace threw me for a loop because he felt out of place in his own relationship. i think we all know the clip of carmy’s late s2 panic attack where thinking of claire and him together makes it worse but now we are given so many more scenes of when he was happy? what narrative are they trying to spin here? was carmy genuinely in love with claire or mostly disinterested, because it can’t be both.

even claire doesn’t seem interested in being with carmy at this point, and who can blame her?

her presence was just kind of weird to me, because she didn’t really interact with the rest of the cast until the 9th episode. i think her brief hospital scenes were to flesh her out more, but it’s really just creating vulnerabilities and revealing the seams. and because she’s never really been developed as much as everyone else in the series, we’re left with more questions. who was that in her bed? why was she never fired for insane medical malpractice? what is any of this for?

also a lot of the lighting this season has changed. i saw one user (can’t remember who but their post was super interesting) mention how much warmer and inviting the scenes with syd are as opposed to the coolness and almost detachment the scenes with claire were. except we see carmy in cool lighting a lot more this season.

i also wanted to add where carmy gets overwhelmed in the finale, thoughts of claire coming in with a violin sting like a horror movie doesn’t add to the narrative that they keep telling us. that’s another thing i noticed. they tell us how great claire was even though their time together hindered him being involved with his passions and his coworkers, but they retcon things and add scenes of them happy and have carmy tell us how amazing she is but they barely cared to show us.

a huge theme in this show is family and responsibility. and the scene where neil fak said claire could be the one to take care of carmy and vice versa really rubbed me the wrong way. first of all, i think it kind of supports the idea of codependency which isn’t great but i could be reaching. second, carmy isn’t really equipped to take care of anyone and i think the way he interacts with his coworkers when he’s frustrated is proof of that.

don’t get me wrong, i thought this season was amazing television, christopher storer is a brilliant writer and director, joanna calo really should helm more episodes bc ice chips was actually a perfect episode, and ayo getting the opportunity to direct tina’s episode was so amazing and i really hope i see her name in more directorial projects in the near future. but i think we’re getting a little lost in the plot here and losing sight of what the heart of the show is. the literal restaurant. and logically some of the decisions made don’t exactly hold up and i would hate to see this show fumble.

it can’t be a coincidence that so much of the show’s marketing is tied to carmy and syd and i think efforts to trick the audience are actually making the show suffer. or the increasingly less subtle decisions in the editing in the few scenes of them together? are you really gonna gaslight a whole audience for the sake of a misdirect?

[particular-one]

my heart won’t start anymore.

pairing. dan heng x gn!reader cw. hurt/no comfort, implied relationship between reader and dan heng, falling out of love (or is it), heavy angst that is carlyle's brand™ author's note. i say i love dan heng then subject him to my heaviest angst ideas. teehee, whoops. is anyone still surprised that i wrote yet another fic to a taylor swift song? listen to you're losing me for maximum enjoyment. ❤️‍🩹

dan heng would have to be the luckiest man alive to have known someone like you and simultaneously, the most foolish man alive to let you slip through his fingers.

dan heng did not know where to begin when it came to describing you. to merely think he was lucky enough to call someone like you his was an understatement; you were perfect for him in every way possible, that it baffles him just how he's with you.

the way your eyes sparkled at the mention of stars, your favorite subject, before dan heng listened for the millionth time to your lighthearted ramble of where the stars came from. the way your laugh echoed melodiously in his head when he made a small but harmless mistake, how he would frown a little in shame but your toothy grin would make him forget his initial embarrassment. the way your head rested on his chest, humming to a childhood lullaby that would always have the same effect on his heart — to grow bigger in affection and adoration for you.

and you made him a better person, better than he ever thought he could be. dan heng had always carried the burden of his past reincarnation's sins on his back, but your presence always made the weight seem lighter. a glimpse of you was a glimpse of a life that he could live without guilt. and he wanted to make sure that he was worthy of it. worthy of you.

in short, dan heng found the perfect lifelong partner in you, end of story.

which ... just made your words pierce deeper than a knife to his heart.

"i think we should stop."

dan heng was too deep in his thoughts that he had not realized that he crumpled the paper flower bouquet in his hand. he was supposed to hand this to you the moment he stepped inside your room; march had teased him on the amount of dedication he put in perfecting his craft — according to the archives he has read, they called it the art of origami — but dan heng found himself smiling the entire process. secretly, he thought of it like his practice of building a life with you; handling the paper with subtle gentleness and care, folding it neatly to avoid any creases, before constructing a foundation for the camellia flower, your favorite flower.

what a joke this all seems to be now.

what was going on? where did he do wrong? why were you doing this? dan heng tried to remember if he had forgotten anything important. was it the time that he brushed you aside because he was engrossed in the mission? was it because dan heng constantly locked himself in the archives all by himself, that you grew tired of that?

".... stop what?"

you looked up at him, your stormy eyes brimming with tears that you were still trying to hold back. even when you were crying and breaking his heart, dan heng could not help but think how captivating you still looked. "you know what i mean."

why? "why?"

from his perspective, he could already see how much you were struggling to say it. you were shaking your head as your body was trying to hold in the biggest sob. it took everything in dan heng not to run to you and hold you in his arms, but what are the chances that you'd end up pushing him away? your words were evidence enough that you did not need his grasp right now.

"i just... i just don't see a future with you in it."

well, that hurt. that hurt more than the days that his other self wasted away in the shackling prison, mind swimming in terror and confusion as to why he was restrained the moment he was born. that hurt more than the time he sustained his deepest injury, because you were the one who ended up patching it up for him, all the while chastising him for being too reckless again. he won't have that anymore.

"why?" it was a repeat of his former question, but dan heng could hear his voice breaking as he repeated himself. moments ago, he was just dreaming about spending the rest of his life with you. to be able to wake up with you next to him and be the first to see the satisfied smile on your face. to stay by your side until the day you inevitably passed on before him.

and now, you were asking him to let that all go?

despite his initial reflections, dan heng took a step towards you, to which he was greeted with you stepping backwards, a sight that sank his heart even deeper. "but i love you." dan heng started, his heart soaring when he saw that his words still elicited a reaction from you. at this point, he was just grasping at non-existent straws that would bring you back to your senses. back to him. "we can figure a way—"

"dan heng." he stopped at his name, before slowly looking up to meet your gaze. your eyes were clouded with pain, sorrow, but most importantly, it was devoid of the warmth that dan heng sought solace in.

"i... i don't know if i can do this anymore."

you were no longer facing him, your back shaking in muffled sobs as dan heng stood there, as he watched you push him away for the first and last time. the feeling of the crumpled paper flower on his palm left nothing but a sour taste in his mouth. to think that he was so excited to see you.

"you're giving up then? on us?"

his voice came out hollow, his once forlorn expression twisting in incredulity and subtle frustration. to think that he was so excited to make things finally official between the both of you. he was finally ready to settle down and become the better man— no, the best man for you. could you not see how hard he worked to deserve you?

how cruel were you, really?

you didn't turn around to face him, but your silence told him everything he needed to know. it took everything in him to stifle the urge to let out a bitter laugh. how could he be so foolish? who would love someone as stoic, risk-taking and tactless as him, anyways?

"i didn't take you for a quitter, y/n. but i guess we're learning something new about each other right now." he spat out, which earned a turn from you. dan heng could see the hurt in your eyes. it annoyed him that even when you're hurting him, it still pained him to see you in distress. it took everything in him to reel back and stop himself. "so this is it; this is how all... this ends." he refused to let this flurry of emotions overwhelm him, as dan heng took one step closer towards you, and to his surprise, you stood, feet firmly planted on the ground. well, what does that matter now.

he was now towering over you, his eyes never leaving your figure and now was looking down at you. a part of him begged him to not say anything else, to leave with his dignity and his head up high. even if they weren't ... partners anymore, he could still try salvaging a friendship. and yet, his emotions took full control of himself at that moment. "i can't believe i even thought you were the one for me, but i guess i would probably outlive you, anyways. "

he could have sworn he heard your breath hitch as your eyes betrayed everything you were feeling at the time. a mix of grief, sadness and surprise at his words, no doubt. however, it was a fleeting sight that only slipped into another unreadable expression. "leave. please... just leave."

typically, dan heng would be able to tolerate the silence between the both of you, but that was because he could lose himself in your gaze. not now, though. his hand crumpled the paper flower even further before he threw it at the ground. dan heng took one last look at you, a small hope resurfacing that you would take everything back, that you were simply saying it in jest — but there was nothing.

he allowed his anger to overtake him and close the door behind him with a loud slam, huffing in mixed grief and anger and leaving your room for the last time. even when you were no longer looking, dan heng still refused to let that flurry of emotions overwhelm him. he shouldn't cry over someone who gave up on him as easily as that.

if he had lingered for a moment longer, he would have probably heard you breaking down in the loudest sobs on the other side of the door.

━━━━━━━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━━━━━━━

it had been three months since you left the astral express. three months since dan heng closed the door to the possibility that he would spend the rest of his long, long life with you.

three months since he hurled all those hurtful words towards you, which he has regretted since then. but his stupid ego would not let him utter a single apology to you the following morning.

it didn't take long for you to pack your bags and leave, which dan heng actually found relieving. the more he didn't see you and mourn over what could have been, the better.

still, it had been three months. dan heng would be a liar if he said that you did not cross his mind once. well, maybe more than once. maybe a million times since you left. he hated how you still had a hold on him, hated how your voice would be the last thing he's reminded of before he drifts to sleep, but most of all, he hated how he missed you since that fateful night.

how could he have missed the signs?

the tug on his sleeve brought him back to reality, as march looked over at him with a concerned glance. dan heng just shook his head and looked down at the very thing he was holding.

a bouquet of camellias. real ones, this time.

"dan heng, if you're feeling overwhelmed, we can just—" he was already walking ahead of march without listening to what else she had to say. truthfully, nothing she would probably say would deter him. the cold weather of jarilo vi was enough to drone out his ever active mind. so this was the planet that you called home after you left the express.

it did not take long for him to reach his destination, especially with how fast he had been walking. dan heng could barely even see the identifiable pink hair belonging to march behind him anymore. he'd probably have to offer her an apology for leaving her behind later.

it was a desolate deserted place, save for the monsters that roamed nearby and the dilapidated house that dan heng could only surmise as your house. though, he knew already what he was looking for.

"hey, y/n. i know you probably don't want to see me again, but ... here are your favorite flowers, just how you liked them."

to find himself face to face to a makeshift tombstone wasn't a sight that dan heng could have ever prepared himself for, but the fact that it was your tombstone that he was leaving flowers for made his last words towards you sink a knife deeper in his heart.

how could he not have noticed your erratic heartbeat?

when you told him that you couldn’t see a future with him in it, he didn’t think that you meant you did not have a future.

all those months, dan heng refused to let the flurry of emotions overwhelm him, but maybe for this time, he could just blame the emotional downpour on the bleak cold weather.

"if you had told me you were dying, i would have stayed."

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

[the-starry-seas]

I was thinking about how exactly the Royal Squad came to join the family, because adopting five clone cadets isn't exactly an impulse decision, and like

Fox interrupting Breha's schedule and approaching her as his queen, not his wife, and asking her for several million credits. And she knows that something is up because he's calling her Your Majesty and using corporate-speak and swearing to find some way to repay her. And neither of them are idiots, she knows there's nothing he can do to bring back that kind of cash no matter what job he gets.

So Breha, obviously, has questions. Maybe a thought or two in the back of her mind that Fox might not know what a spam email is. Fox is generally very calm and even-tempered so she wants to know what's going on and why he needs so much money.

Fox says that Kamino is going to sell off everything they can to recoup losses from the latest batches of clones that they're no longer being paid for. He says most of them will be sold to slavers. He says the ones that can't be sold will be killed. He says none of them are more than five years old. He says there's ten thousand of them and he knows it will be expensive, but he could never live with himself if he didn't find a way to save at least some of them.

Breha is weeping long before he's finished. She's seen his scars, she's heard him wailing with terror from nightmares, she's felt him flinch when she touches him without warning. She loves him, but she would do anything to change his past. She will do anything to spare his little brothers from the life that can never stop haunting him. She thinks of darling Leia, two years old and safely at home with Bail doting on her every move, and is sick at the thought of any baby being treated in the way Fox just described.

She gives Fox carte blanche to bring home every last child. He falls to his knees and kisses her hands, thanking her in jumbled words and eyes shining with tears. She has no regrets for the financial havoc she's just caused herself and will never let him repay her.

Fox brings home ten thousand and five children. He snarls at anyone who comes near the youngest, holding the runt of the litter his every waking moment, his hands always gentle but his eyes glaring a lethal warning. The legion of social workers deployed to help find homes for the children, well, they unanimously decide that that's someone else's problem.

(There's a bright spot in all this hustle and drama. As it turns out, selling children into the Core worlds... it's just so incredibly unbelievably illegal. Breha gets back every credit that Fox spent, and a reward for alerting the police to what the Kaminoans are doing. Clones have human rights on Alderaan, after all.)

Eventually, after several months of several thousand people working twelve-hour days, all ten thousand clone cadets have been placed with loving families all across the planet. There's still welfare checks and such to be done, but for now, everyone is safe, happy, and in no more danger from the Kaminoans.

This leaves five.

Fox finally goes home to the palace, after being one of those people working twelve-hour shifts, and says, "I adopted some. I didn't mean to."

Breha says, "I heard you cold-cocked someone for suggesting an adopted family for them on their third day here."

Fox has to say he did, yes, and he didn't mean to do that either, and he already apologised several times.

Breha smiles and says that Bail's been excited to meet them for weeks now, and won't Fox come to dinner?

Fox does come to dinner, and brings his tubies, far too nervous at the idea of leaving them with anyone else, even Leia's nannies. It doesn't surprise him when Breha is the first to bring it up.

"Bail and I talked about it, and we understand if you want to be their only legal parent. We know there's complexities around their adoption. Whatever support you want from us, you'll have it."

Fox doesn't expect his eyes to blur with tears, or for them to feel like tears of joy.

"Leia's my daughter," he whispers, "and these are your sons."

"Helio is a family name on my side, you know," Bail mentions. He smiles at the tubie in Fox's lap, who giggles and waves back with his little hand clenched around a green bean. Then Bail's gaze meets Fox's, and the fatherly love already in his eyes... it takes Fox's breath away.

"My parents once said that they planned to name me Vidal if I was a boy," Breha adds, and takes a sip from her glass. "Though I suppose some of them might have names already?"

Fox shakes his head. There were so many other things to be busy with that he's just been calling them by the last two digits of their CT numbers.

"I wasn't sure what to call them," he admits, "but I was sure you would love them."

They beam at that, and Fox manages to smile back, despite how exhausted he is from the past few months. There's still so much waiting in the future, but for tonight, he can take the time to breathe.

He falls asleep quickly that night, with his head in Breha's lap and her hand in his hair, Kit already fast asleep and curled into his side, listening to Bail read a bedtime story to all six of their tubies.

[gulava]

Kairi is Xehanort's 14th Darkness

Now before I go into this, I must deeply express I will not put up with any Kairi negativity in the tags. This is not meant to demonize her or put anyone else on a pedestal in her place. Literally everyone in this series has been manipulated by Xehanort to some extent and Kairi is not exempt from that. We need to get past all these preconceived notions of who Kairi is supposed to be and see her for the complex character that she truly is. And this is a part of that.

Now let's get started.

Xehanort's intentions from day one were to reenact the Keyblade War. In Dark Road, it's revealed that he's interested in the Darkness that survived by disguising itself as an ally of light. It's possible that he thinks Vanitas is this since he hid himself inside of Ventus but that's all...in the eyes of the beholder. It could be anyone. But Xehanort would take this information either way and use it in his reenactment.

But you may ask: Why would he have a fourteenth? Didn't he intend to use thirteen? That was very clear throughout the series. Well, you'll need to watch Dark Road if you still think this. He left out a little something in the other games when describing his plan.

He wanted ANOTHER vessel to experience the world afterwards. Yes, he's incredibly extra as always. We are used to this by now, I hope..

But why is that vessel Kairi?

(dude's literally telling her what role she's to play even if it probably wouldn't make any sense to someone her age lmao)

As far back as the first game, something never truly added up. Kairi isn't given the role to hold back the darkness with the other princesses. She's paralleled to Wendy who is very explicitly stated to NOT be one of the princesses. Her "power" is never utilized a single time after KH1 either...nor is it brought up until briefly in KH3.

And you know...remember that little thing about how the X tells Xehanort where you are at all times? X marks the spot, they say!

And Xehanort REALLY loved making the X wearers into his vessels, didn't he? Kairi had been wearing it as early as BBS.

Kairi was the one who finished this drawing.

Red flags...red flags, everywhere!

By the way, wasn't Kairi's meeting with Aqua a little...TOO perfect?

Why...it's almost like...it was staged!

Kairi already had the flowers she supposedly picked for her. But why would Xehanort want Kairi to meet Aqua and have her be fond of Kairi?

Two reasons as far as I can see.

1.) Aqua is well attuned to the fine art of spells.

Sound familiar?

2.) Receiving a Keyblade

When Kairi runs to Aqua, she touches her Keyblade. This has been compared to the passing of power like Terra with Riku. Personally, I have no idea if it's as simple as this without the whole ceremony but I don't think this would be shown without reason.

And with this, her role truly started. Kairi was to become the new darkness disguised as a guardian of light. She would befriend and become close with a Keyblade wielder and they would strive to keep her safe so she would survive for the world after.

But *record scratch* how is she a darkness already by the time of BBS and how is she able to hide? Before that, let's discuss the princess she took the place of in KH1. You know, the elephant in the room.

Ariel.

Part Two

[thesummerstorms]

I can acknowledge that the text SAYS that Annabeth Chase worked out her problems with her dad, that her stepmom seemed "nice", and that her "resentment" is described as seemingly unimportant in Blood of Olympus. I can acknowledge the text SAYS that Annabeth's family problems are resolved.

However. That does not mean that I actually buy it. If RR wanted me to accept that outcome, he should have done the actual work of proving it.

Yes we have the scene with the plane and Mrs. Chase telling Percy that Annabeth has a home.

But those two scenes in TTC don't actually work as a source of a resolution to that plot thread because they don't address the root of the problem- Annabeth being hurt by Frederick's neglect and her step-mother 's blame/callousness.

Even if they ARE trying to do better now (which to honest, feels like a cop out to me, almost as if RR just decided he no longer wanted to write that thread and cut it off quickly) the problem lies in what already happened in the past and how badly Annabeth was hurt by it.

She could have died so, so easily, and even if you want to argue perfect intent for the Chase adults (which I don't) she was emotionally fucked up by what happened for years. This has already happened.

But there's not even a hint of an apology or actual reflection on what caused those events and how things need to be moving forward. It's just assumed that TTC automatically fixes everything.

And yes, I actively have a post going around about how an author has to pick and choose their narratives and what they want to focus on for what characters.

But I would argue that RR already chose to make that plot line an important part of the plot- given how it drives Annabeth's motivations and actionals on an emotional level for pretty much all of TTC- it's just that he handled it badly.

If it was going to be addressed, especially if it was going to be "fixed", then we needed more to convince us that Annabeth had reason to trust her parents again. And again, for me one plane scene that doesn't go into what Annabeth has already experienced doesn't work for me personally.

Especially when you look at things like how Annabeth was still living in boarding schools full time, her description of the night she ran away in HOH, her persistent fear of abandonment.

And before anyone brings it up, I do actually have some sympathy for Frederick Chase. I personally am deeply adverse to the idea of having children of my own, so putting myself in his shoes of having been given a whole infant I never wanted and didn't know was a possibility, freaks me out a little too!

BUT. That doesn't change the fact that he had a responsibility as an adult-

to either choose to raise Annabeth fully as his child and accept the responsibility that entailed

OR

to find someone who could take care of her the way she deserved if he was not emotionally or mentally able to fulfill those needs.

I'm not saying any of it would be easy, but he did in fact have a basic obligation to make sure Annabeth was receiving care from SOMEONE. That's basic decency as an adult with some form of power over a child even if he DIDN'T want to be her father.

But his refusal to actually commit to either path just did MORE damage in the long run.

And he's free to try and make amends, I guess. People can change.

But I just don't feel there's enough to show that he really has long term, much less to give ANNABETH reason to believe he has.

[gayboysteve]

It makes such perfect sense to view Marmalade as a manifestation of her wild youth whereas "Baron" is the simple dreamer she wishes she could've been. His being naive and his misusage of words are SO important. He's the person that could've been. And then the "Baron" we see after leaving the prison is the grounded mature version of both mixed together- calculating but also kind, a man but also a woman. Marmalade created Baron to protect her from her trauma and to control her more wild impulses; while in kinda Baron created Marmalade to protect his inner softness that wasn't able to be beaten out of them by a cruel life. "I just want to be with my one and only. She's my girl to protect."

And Baron is talking about themselves. She is her own protector. He has his own plan for justice. Not just for himself, not even just for their mother, but for other abused kids who were failed by a corrupt system and other old people who were failed by an entirely different corrupt system. (Both are represented by the same CEO.) To do so he must let that part out of herself again- that rage-filled impulsive girl stunted by her abuse. It's not a coincidence she appears just after Baron gets news about his mother's medication rising. She is his protector as much as he is hers.

It's important that Baron describes Marmalade as his dream girl to Otis. It's just not the kind of dream that Otis interprets. She basically "arrives" ( maladaptive coping mechanisms reemerging) to plan out the heist. It isn't just that Baron is the person Marmalade wishes she could've been in another life (naive and kind and part of a community), it's that while Marmalade is also a representation of their wild youthfulness she is also now the person that the present "Baron" (recently presented with the rising cost of his mother's medication and medical bills) wishes he could embody again despite having grown out of it because of his loving mother's influence.

I think it's very important that the almost sex scene after they get the masks but right before Mama Eda "dies" is shot almost like a horror sequence with discordant music and quick flashes of Marmalade on top of Baron in their respective masks. This happened just after the heist of the thrift shop where they stole the masks, Marmalade pistol-whipping the cashier before fleeing. An old woman staring up at Baron in fear on her knees.

Whether this is the reality of how this played out (with obviously just Marmalade there) is unimportant. Baron and Marmalade are the same person and when she looks into that mask and sees herself she's horrified at what she's capable of, the kind of harm she can inflict even when her intentions are at the end of the day pure of heart. That her letting back in her past negative impulses makes her a worse person than she is as the adult "Baron" who has repressed his trauma but matured because of their loving relationship with their mother.

Mama Eda's "death" comes quickly after and Marmalade's culpability is called into question narratively. She increasingly answers that she doesn't know what happened and that she was in the other room. She wasn't present. Nor was Baron. This, I think stems from Marmalade's manifestation of her guilt over Mama Eda being in a home where they can't actually care for her directly- and as a manifestation of any potential fears he might have at the idea of attempting to do so. As well, it's just a very real fear of her mother's inevitable death, especially as the heist has already commenced and now the final act is in motion.

If her plan fails then he won't be there for Mama Eda. There won't be anyone there to deliver the pills she (and others need) and thus if the plan fails then any deterioration in her mama's health is her fault. Her culpability for the plan. For not being there. For being in another room when/if/should the time quickly come.

Which is why I think the confrontation between "Baron" and Marmalade is so important. It isn't Baron being unable to trust Marmalade it's Marmalade being unable to trust herself. Trust in her plan and so the two sides of herself stand against each other in a kind of opposition. Self-blame and doubt, rage all in response to the fear she feels at the final leg of the plan.

It's important that this is the last time that we see Marmalade as she appears in the physical manifestation of "Baron's" story. The music goes dreamlike and ethereal as they speak. "You are the man of my fucking dreams. I love you like I've never loved anyone and I've never been loved."

Marmalade is speaking to herself. The version of the man that she's become and the person she is now; it's representative of Marmalade reconciling his past trauma while preparing for the final play in her plan- enacting revenge against those that caused her trauma. Marmalade as the wild youth she was before meeting Mama Eda was someone who never felt like she was loved, and that part of herself is now looking at the grown version of her that loves her back and accepts herself for all her faults. Her parting words are, "Dream big or don't dream at all".

And then we're thrust into the action from the start of the story with "Baron" getting arrested. And so she has now fully become one with herself. Both facets of her life are on the same page, reconciliation of the self. Acknowledgment of that trauma and the plan to enact in order to move on from it.

And then the final piece in her puzzle- Otis. She obviously had been keeping tabs on him. The comment about keeping his hair long because of a show he watched about Rastafarians tells us that he already knew about Otis' mother being from Jamaica. Baron had to sell Otis on Marmalade, he had to make Otis fall in love with her and trust what Baron was telling him was true about their love for each other. Baron needed to truly love Marmalade in order for the story to sell and the plan to work. And by embodying that she finally learned to fully love and accept herself.

"I just want to be with my one and only. She's my girl to protect."

[yanxidarlings]

YANDERE LATIN AMERICA

ik ik they aren't canon characters (yet) but i just have some ideas for some fan perceptions of them. i got a lot of inspiration from live journal for their portrayals. honestly this was a lot of fun to write and i might start exploring other non canons characters that have piqued my interest as well.

tw. this toxic as shit, blood, violence, some suggestive themes, my horrid attempts at incorporating spanish into the dialogue if it counts

MEXICO (José Hernández Valdez Martinez)

• José as a yandere is suffocating, to say the least. He never gives his darling a break from his presence. But all he wants to do is be with his amado, is that too much to ask? According to José, it is not. If they try to get even a moment of peace from him he acts as though they've committed a heinous wrongdoing against him. He goes out binge drinking, neglects his responsibilities, isolates himself from others. It gets to the point his brothers will step in, and deliver his darling to him on a silver platter. If they haven't already turned them self in. Does he feel a bit pathetic? Yes. Would he do it again for the same result? In a heartbeat. • He won't allow his darling to have a life of their own. From their national affairs to everyday life, José will ensure he's apart of it all. He wants to be their closest ally and dearest confidant, so anyone who gets in the way of that better start goddamn running. He'll happily sabotage every relationship his darling has to ensure their exclusivity to him. • There's no way to get privacy with José around, he thinks things like boundries are stupid concepts the USA invented. "Don't fall for Alfato's mudo traps" he jokes, but he means every word he says. • Why does his darling need to lock the door when they take showers or take phone calls with their boss in a different room, José takes sourly to any minute attempt at creating a personal space bubble.

the sounds of water rapidly pouring filled josé's ears, usually we take our shower together at 4, his face contorted into confusion. oh well — dinner can wait, he set down the bowl of rice he had been rinsing. "mijo" josé called out, picking at the locked door "why do you always lock it" he groaned, now he had to go get the spare key.

"josé can i just take one shower" they peered out from behind the shower curtain, eyebrows furrowed "you don't have to cover yourself we've showered together before" he began stripping "just one" pushing past them, he let out a yelp as the ice cold water hit him.

"think about how much we're saving the environment by showering together, mijo!" adjusting the tap, he let out a sigh of relief as the water began to warm up. "you've been spending too much time with manuel" they scoffed under their breath, reaching for the conditioner bottle.

josé's eye darkened "and you have been such a weón, as manuel would say, lately" he snatched the conditioner out their grasp, opening up the cap and squirting out product onto his hands. working the conditioner into their hair, they yelped as his nails scratched against their scalp "don't ever think about anyone but me when we're in the shower" he growled under his breath, ignoring their complaints.

VENEZUELA (Carlos Gómez Delgado)

• There are few yandere's as openly manipulative as Carlos. Most yandere's categorised as manipulative do their work from behind the scenes, but Carlos has no problem telling his darling what he thinks to their face. If he's jealous, he makes it known, albeit by trashing the person and his darlings involvement with them until his darling feels too self conscious to interact with anyone he doesn't approve of. At first he describes himself as having paternal or brotherly instincts to protect them, and whilst that is true, a part of them just wants to be able to control their every move. • Out of all of Latin America, he is among the most openly affectionate yandere's; he's always got a hand on their shoulder, he always refers to them as corazón and has no shame in pecking them on the lips in front of others no matter their gender. He doesn't really care if his darling is fond of his affections, nothing they can do will ever get him to stop, so they better get used to it. • Rejecting his "advice" or affection is perhaps the stupidest thing his darling could possibly do. It's no secret he is not to be messed with. He has no qualms about roughing his darling up if it means setting their behaviour straight. • Don't like it when he tackles you to the ground? he used to hug you but apparently that didn't satisfy your highness. Carlos's moods are a ticking time bomb, once his anger wears off he returns to normal as if he didn't just batter the person he claims is his corazón.

they sniffled, hand held up against where he had laid his hand on them. Carlos hated the sight of tears in their eyes but how else would they learn to be appreciative? he studied their expression as they attempted to calm themself, avoiding his piercing gaze.

"are you sorry?" he finally spoke, his amber eyes meeting theirs "what" they breathed out, bewildered. "sorry or not, corazón?" he leaned in closer, furrowing his brows as they flinched away "ahh, it was just a slap, nothing to cry over" they remained still as he brought his hand up to their face, fingers brushing over the reddened skin.

they remained quiet, only the sound of heavy breaths could be heard from them "do you need another one?" he joked, breaking the silence. but carlos wasn't just joking. he'd happily do it again if they didn't speak soon.

his face was unreadable as they hastily shook their head "words, amorcito" he had shifted closer to them, prompting them to finally speak "i.. im sorry" they stuttered out, avoiding his gaze. "good" he placed his lips to their temple, before dragging them to lay down.

ECUADOR (Esteban Fernandez Romero)

• Esteban is subtle, the true extent of his insanity is known to no one but himself. He's a delusional yandere, who see's his relationship with his darling as more than what it is. What might be a cordial friendship to them is a blossoming relationship to Esteban. He craves having someone to himself, he craves the kind of relationship Spain and Romano had back during the empire, he used to think he wanted to have someone to look out for him no matter what he did, but as he becomes more and more entrenched in his obsession, he's found himself wanting to be the macho man for once. • He might despise tedious tasks such as chores, but if it means catching the attention of his darling, he'll grin and bare it. He helps them with whatever task they might need help with, with no qualms, yet they still don't give him the time of day! He hates the fact that he craves their validation and attention as much as he does, but he'd rather be stuck in a room with america for a week than admit it. • Esteban can handle them using him for their own gain but god, please god, don't ignore him. It drives him crazy, which is something you never want to see in a former Spanish colony. He lashes out, drastically changing his behaviour. Esteban isn't afraid to maim or threaten others when he gets like this, even his darling. • There are few situations that would make him do this in public, perhaps in front of his brothers, but behind the privacy of closed doors, so his darling could never convince others about his true nature.

a loud bang was heard from the kitchen, prompting them to come rushing in to see what happened. "este-" "oh now you care" he spat out, blood gashing from his arm, pots and pans that were once cooking on the hot stove on the floor "only when i do something wrong you look away from your paperwork" he glared at them, grabbing another knife and throwing it at the ground, grinning when they flinched.

"maybe i should start doing everything wrong" stumbling past the hot pans and the cutlery littered across the kitchen floor, he made his way closer to them "speak goddammit!" he barked out as they remained silent, staring at him with wide eyes "i- esteban you're bleeding" they slowly pointed towards his arm, which had been completely disgarded in his fit of rage.

he blinked, bringing his afflicted lower arm up to his eyes, before glancing back at them. "do.. do you want me to patch that up.." they quietly asked, stuck making burning eye contact as he came up close to them.

slowly, he snaked his arms around their waist, leaning his head on their shoulder "clean that mess up as well" he spoke into their ear, bringing his injured arm up to their face and dragging it across their visage. as they went to go fetch the first aid, they wiped the blood from their cheeks.

PERU (Miguel Alejandro Prado)

• It's impossible to see through Miguel and realise his true intentions until it's too late, but under it all he's the most obsessive of the bunch. Unlike others, his darling won't have even the faintest idea of the dark thoughts he harbours towards them. He's Miguel, when he flirts it's nothing but niceties, when he insists on accompanying them wherever they may be going, it's just him being social. It's hard for his darling to tell him to go away when he's such good company, but if they did they would come to find out the true extent he's willing to go for them. • Miguel is honestly just content being in his darling's life, he doesn't feel the need to have a specific label on the relationship, as long as he has a place in their heart, his obsession will go unnoticed. He's apply to be their prince in shining armour and work behind the shadows for them. They don't have to thank him, they just have to love him. • Which is why he simply couldn't handle it if they ever tried to distance themselves. He won't leave them alone, he won't let them get that far. He'll drag them back kicking and screaming if he has to. "oh i just hadn't seen you in a while querido" He chuckles, scratching his neck. He simply invites himself back into their life. • Afterwards, he'll find himself craving to know every detail about them. They can't even go get a glass of water without telling him. He's breathing down their neck at every turn, regardless if they want him there or not.

the door creaked open, miguel tried to avoid making a sound but god was not on his side tonight. testing their reaction, he sighed in relief as they remained asleep. slowly closing the door behind him, it made another unholy crackle, causing his cariño to shift in their sleep. mierda, he cursed internally, gripping on to his pillow.

turning over to face the wall, miguel grimanced "move" he whispered under his breath, trying to coax his darling's sleeping body to face him. what was the point of sleeping next to them if he couldn't admire their beautiful face?

grumbling quietly, miguel slowly approached the bed, placing his pillow next to their head, and gradually sinking down on to the bed. don't wake up don't wake up don't, their eyes opened at the sudden mocement "miguel" they whined, shifting to face him again "i thought we could have a sleep over" he smiled toothily, making himself comfortable.

"we had one last night" they deadpanned, half asleep, definitely displeased to have been awoken "and the night before" miguel only grinned at their words "and now tonight as well!"

BRAZIL (Luciano da Silva)

• Few would expect Luciano to be as clingy as he is. He himself could he the ideal target for a yandere. But what they forget is that he was raised by Portugal and Spain. Not to mention it's always the unassuming ones. As a pretty major world power, he's rather co-dependent on his darling, in matters of country and personal. That's what started it all; his darling always does so much for him, it would be absolutely horrible if he ever didn't have them! It starts off as wanting to make sure his darling liked him enough to stay by him, and turned into an obsession with making sure he is the only one his darling cares about. • He takes up all their time to acheive this, can't go off with other countries when they're stuck helping him with his paperwork, can they? and by helping they're actually doing all the work, but Luciano made sure to prepare snacks and he'll take them out for drinks once they're done! At first he's content having them during working hours until he can't see them when they return home back to their own lives. He should be their entire life. He'll convince them into fulfilling just about every one of his responsibilities, using the excuse "isn't it so great to have so much influence over a country as big as mine" • Sure they do all the important stuff but he promises to repay them in other ways. It's best to just take the bait, Luciano doesn't respond well to rejection. His temperament become abominably clear when his darling rejects his company. He doesn't lash out physically, not yet, but he says some truly vile things, makes some threats, it's disturbing. And the worst part is no one believes his darling if they try to tell others about his true nature. • He's a submissive yandere if his darling doesn't attempt to pull away. He doesn't mind complying with demands or being bossed around, as long as they want him. He can handle anything but rejection.

"querido! what do you think" luciano marched into the study, not caring the slightest that he was disrupting the others work "looks good" they tapped their pen against the paper, in deep thought as they examined the words "you didn't even look!" he skipped up to the desk and snatched the pen out of their grip

with their attention now, luciano did a spin "tada!" he smiled widely "i've seen you wear your soccer uniform hundreds of times" they quickly stood up, trying to chase him down for the pen, but he only kept moving away "football — how many times do i have to explain! and look closer" he held the pen up high in air as they tried to retake it "you forgot to shower?" covering their mouth and nose with a hand, they stepped back.

he shook his head, a laugh escaping his lips "no, it's a new jersey, the colours are brighter" he pointed out the minute details, ignoring the look of unamusement on his darling's face. "just giv-" they quickly reached for the pen whilst his hands were down, only for him to use the opportunity to drag them closer, up against his chest "you left me a mountain of paperwork to do i'm busy!"

his smile fell; they were being difficult again. "you can't take a moment to admire me?" within seconds, he flashes them a cheeky grin. before they could explode into anger, he leaned in and pecked them on the lips, before running out "you can get your frustration out later after the match, good luck with the paperwork!"

BOLIVIA (Julio Paz)

• Julio is overwhelmingly possessive of his darling. He doesn't like to sound dramatic, but they're the only person that really matters to him. The only person he gives a damn about. So the least they can do is stop fucking talking to that ingrato spain or even looking at the likes of the USA. He's as bad as Manuel when it comes to isolating his darling from the outside world. They have him, why do they need other allies or friends, if they're that desperate he'll let them invite one of his brothers over but don't you dare think about associating with the likes of europe or asia. It pisses him off to no end when they go frolicking off with other nations, why isn't he enough?! • He isn't particularly open about his jealous and possessive tendencies, at least not at first, all he can really do is pout and give his darling the silent treatment — but he'll never tell them what he's upset about "no, don't worry about me nobody else does" he isn't afraid to use whatever card he has to subtly pull to guilt his darling into compliance. • Overtime, Julio will get more and more comfortable with expressing his discontent towards his darling, oh you went for tea with england? shame his boss decided to go with chile for that trade deal and not his darling's country. huh, apparently spain visited you the other day? and you let him into your house? what a clutz he is forgetting to turn the burner off when he was using his darling's stove to cook tucumenas. • His darling will find themselves not bothering to leave his side anymore, what good does it do them? or running for the hills, either way, there's no shaking him. Once he's become obsessed there's no getting free.

"aye!" julio barked. what a wonderful day it had been, enjoying a sleep in and then going motorcycling in the streets of la paz, only to come home to his darling packing their bags. "what do you think you're doing" storming in, he began throwing their things out the suitcase, ignoring their yells to stop.

"julio, im moving out" in a stern voice, they stood their ground, gripping his hands so he couldn't continue making a mess of their belonging "oh? you think you're too good for me now that gringo wants to be friends with you, huh"

he ripped his arm out of their grip, shoving them onto the bed "i can't live with you twenty four seven, i have a country to help run!" he wasn't listening to their arguments, he was tipping the rest of the contents of the suitcase on to the floor "julio!" they stood up only to get slammed into the bed, unable to move under his weight.

"maybe that ingrato had the right idea, maybe the only way to keep you in line is to lock you up" he stared deeply into their eyes as he spoke, he finally understood what spain had always said, if you wanted something you had to take it.

ARGENTINA (Martin Hernandez)

• Of all of Latin America, and perhaps the world, Martin is the most unpredictable yandere out there. His darling is constantly left on the edge; one moment he will seem to like them, only for the next to be filled with audacious humour that attacks their character. To his darling, he is a self absorbed man who they prefer to keep at arms length. To Martin, his darling is the menace that lives rent free in his head. He tells himself he thinks they're a boludo, a forro, a chamuyero, a careta, a sorete, every offensive pelotudo under the sun, he'd describe his darling with. • Yet he seems to reserve shitting on his darling as his sole right. Anyone else who tries something similar instantly gets the third degree because who the hell do they think they are. Lovino once went on about Martin's darling being some sort of bastard and got swiftly kicked where the sun doesn't shine. Martin passed it off as drunken rage, but it wasn't an isolated incident. He'd pick fights with the other latin american nations who his darling was having troubles with, of course it always has nothing to do with his darling he was just mad Luciano snubbed him from winning the world cup, that's all, "stop thinking everything's about you". • Martin is highly insecure on how his darling perceives him. When his delusion that they mean jack shit to him starts to fade, he's left with the reality that they see him as a royal jerkwad. Surely they still appreciate how attractive and intelligent and talented he is, right?! • He'll start to look for opportunities to show off — he'll overdress whenever he knows he might run into them, subtly get one of his brothers to drag them to his football games, so they can see how ripped and athletic he is, and.. y'know, he might just trip them over so he can show off his medical skills.

with an oomph, they fell to the ground, descending the stair at a rapid pace, one that would surely not uphold the ligaments in their ankle's, at the very least. "aye, pelotudo!" martin yelled from the top of the stairwell, tattering down the steps hastily, as if he hadn't been the one to put his foot in front of theirs, causing the aforementioned fall.

"are you trying to seduce the ground now" he ragged on, squatting down to their level, gripping on to their arm and dragging them to an upright position. a groan of pain left their lips, which sounded a bit too pleasing to martin. letting out a chuckle "what sort of boludo are you, falling down stairs, are you seven?" he examined their bruised limbs.

with a click of his tongue, he slid his arms under their legs and behind their back, hoisting them up with him. "i can walk-" "sure you can, you overgrown baby" he leg their legs fall to the ground, making contact with a loud crack he winced as they let out a cry of pain. maybe that was a bit harsh he mused to himself as he picked them up once more.

"see? useless bebito" he had this smug look on his face as he peered down at them. they diverted their gaze. "it's okay, i'll take you back to my place and put some ointment on, then tomorrow i'll take you in for an x-ray, bueno?"

CHILE (José Manuel González Rodríguez)

• Manuel can best be characterised as an isolating yandere. Once in his grasps, his darling can say goodbye to their social life. It's not that he's overwhelming and takes up all their time, his darling has plenty of free time with him, it's just that there's always a reason they can't leave. Whether it be dangerous wind currants preventing his darling from returning to their country, him or his darling suddenly falling ill, his boss wants to discuss a new treaty between he and his darling, and on and on. • He would never be caught openly admitting to his tendencies towards his darling. If they were to ever confront him about the isolation he tries to impose, he'd go straight to gaslighting: "maybe it's you who's isolating me, have you thought about that". He himself is in denial, and genuinely thinks it's his darling's own fault he's so enamoured. If they didn't want to be stuck with him they would just leave. He's not exactly America, he can't stop them. • That's what he tells himself, until they take his advice and distance them self from him. Something in him snaps. His only friend thinks they can just pick up and leave? Well shit, maybe he is the obsessed one. • Manuel is quick to break into their house. He'll say he's just paying them a visit, that's what friends do. But his intentions are clear, and his darling comes out of the night shaken up to say the least.

"uhh, manuel?" they chuckled nervously "it's eight at night — shouldn't you be in chile?" they scrunched their nose, something they always did when they were nervous. manuel would know, he'd observed everything about them.

he took a step closer but they took a step back. was it the blank look on his face? manuel tried smiling, but his cariño only seemed more uncomfortable. "am i not allowed to pay you a visit, weón" he tched, backing them up against the wall. he followed their eyes but they avoided his gaze "aye" he grabbed their chin "mucho mejor" he muttered under his breath, their eyes now meeting his.

his face leaned in closer until his lips dance above theirs, hand still sturdy on their chin "manuel" they managed to squeak out from the pressure of his fingers against their jaw "just — let go please" he surpressed a growl, letting his hand fall from their visage.

that same hand took ahold of their arm, dragging them along with him "manuel!" he ignored them "whatever i did im sorry!" he pushed into the bedroom, locking the door behind him.

[lottesreads]

Why Me? - Part 6

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Mitchell! Female Reader (Callsign Mantis)

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, bruises, (someone gets punched), details of panic attacks, swearing, one "daddy" joke, pining, big Rooster warning here, mommy issues, mentions of death, insecurities

Word Count: 5860

Summary: Going over flight maneuvers for the day doesn't go as everyone planned. Somethings from your past get revealed, and you grow a little closer to Bob.

A/N: PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS, this one is a little heavier and angstier, so I apologize for that. Things will get better though! Also, sorry for taking so long, I started a new job and had to take two tests so yay for me.

Masterlist

After what you are now calling the most awkward lunch ever, the day goes by… fine. The squad spends the remaining hours listening to feedback from your father, which surprisingly doesn’t ruffle anyone’s feathers too much. You pin it on the fact that it’s a Friday and everyone just wants to get out as soon as they can. You, of course, want to get out of there as well to spend time with Bob, and finally meet Sylvia. From all the pictures you’ve seen and how Bob describes her, she seems like the perfect dog.

But you’re also thinking about what Phoenix propositioned Bob with as well. It had sent you spiraling. All you can think about as Mav drones on about Payback and Fanboy’s practically perfect barrel roll, is how Bob is being set up with this woman. A woman, might you add, that he has never met or heard of before this day. You can’t help but stare straight in front of you, right at the back of Bob’s head. You’re able to see the tiniest bit of his profile, the wire frames peaking out atop his cheek. You’d like to believe you aren’t jealous. But history proves this wrong time and time again. This woman is just another thing you can add to the ever-growing list.

Bob turns his head ever so slightly, catching a glimpse of you staring out of his peripheral vision. You immediately look down at your papers, attempting to act as if you’re in deep thought about what Payback and Fanboy could have done better. Your eyes stay still on the paper as your brain moves a million miles a minute. God, Bob. Why did he have to be such an amazing person? You would have been able to move on if you had gotten to know him and realized he had a crappy personality, but unfortunately that is not the case. Now you’re stuck feeling jealous over some random woman who has no idea the implications of her attending Phoenix’s party next weekend. You chance a glance back up to Bob’s face and find that he’s already turned back to look at you.

“Mantis”, he whispers as he motions his head to the front of the room, right where your dad is staring you down.

“Sir”, you say, straightening up in your own seat. He raises his brow in a warning, as you shift your attention to the screen, seeing now that your own flights are up for critique.

“Thank you. Now that I have your attention, I have to say I am seeing noticeable room for improvement.” He turns back from the screen, pointing to where you took too sharp of a turn, or where you needed to slow down. You write down everything he says, even as the tips of your ears begin to burn in embarrassment. He is your captain, you know this. Everyone else knows this, but they also know what it feels like to get scolded by a dad. And you can’t help but see the similarities at this moment. He finally finishes after what feels like an eternity as he looks back at you, “Any questions?”

“No sir”, you respond bluntly. He was being nitpicky, for once in his life, and you weren’t sure what caused it at this moment. But you’re still a little confused at what you thought was a perfect run.

“Alright Rooster, you’re up.” You glance over to Rooster’s hard stare as he brings his gaze to the front of the room. You cannot wait to see your dad rip him a new one. It’s what he deserves, and honestly you could fly circles around this guy. “I have to say, I am thoroughly impressed with your work today.” Wait, what? Rooster’s face softens into a slight grin as your brow furrows in his direction. Folding your arms across your chest you sink back into your chair, watching as your dad gives Rooster a glowing review. An undeserved one in your opinion. And then Mav decides to tell you one of the worst ideas he’s ever had.

“Single-seaters, I’m gonna put you in groups and you’re going to go over the notes I gave you to hopefully help you execute these maneuvers better. Two-seaters, you’re going to do the same, but with your pilots and your WSO’s.” At this point, you’re just hoping you’re with Coyote or Fritz, hell, even Hangman. Mav looks down at his podium, going over the list before announcing them, “Fritz and Coyote, you’re a pair. And then we’ll have Rooster, Hangman, and Mantis as a group.”

“Jesus Christ”, you mumble under your breath. Was he trying to kill you? As the rest of the pairs move around to find places to talk, you very lazily turn your head in Rooster’s direction as he does the same to you. Hangman is standing in the aisle, looking back and forth at the both of you, very confused as to the standoff happening before him. You really don’t want to get up and walk over to Rooster. It may seem stupid, and childish, but you are not going to let him think you’re just going to waltz back over to him. Hangman breathes out a laugh, shaking his head at the two of you, ultimately taking the seat next to you. It makes you smile inside watching Rooster roll his eyes as he pulls up a spare chair.

“If any of you need me, I will be in a meeting with Cyclone and Warlock, so please direct any concerns to Hondo”, Mav announces as he points to Hondo giving a small wave in the back of the room.

“Well”, Hangman starts, “Since daddy-dearest gave Rooster a perfect score, I guess that just leaves you and me, Mantis.”

“No surprise there”, you mutter as you start looking through your notes. Rooster scoffs from the other side of Hangman, prompting you to look up at him. “What?”

“Nothing, just didn’t realize you’d be so bitter about someone on your team doing well. But then again I shouldn’t be surprised.” Adding a smile onto the end of his sentence he goes back to sorting through his notes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just think that when you have to rely on each other, you should be happy when someone does well. Especially when it’s our lives at stake here.”

“Well, I think giving someone confidence in their lack-luster abilities is dangerous, to everyone.” You say, folding your arms.

“And I completely agree”, Rooster nods, “that’s why Mav was honest with you. If he inflated that false confidence anymore than it already is, your head might have exploded.” Hangman raises his brows at the exchange before him. Why your dad thought it was a good idea to pair the three of you together, he’ll never know.

“Do you guys wanna get back to-”

“Oh, I have false confidence?”

“Or not”, Hangman finishes his sentence after being interrupted. Interrupted, not heard. It doesn’t really matter at this point while he tries to fade into his seat, waiting for this argument to be over and done with.

“He’s literally just blowing smoke up your ass, so you’ll ‘believe in yourself’”, you add in air-quotes,  “or whatever bullshit he made up. Or maybe he just wants to get on your good side to make up for lost time.” You’re vaguely aware of your own voice raising as everyone else’s conversations start dwindling and they turn to your group.

“Are you still on that? I thought we were past it already.” He responds, visibly agitated by your persistence.

“No, Rooster, you two got past that. I haven’t heard a goddamn word from you on the matter, or an apology. So no, I’m not past that.”

“Oh do you really wanna start this here?” Rooster asks, daring you.

“Oh I really do.” You respond just as sure. “So whenever you’re ready to apologize you know where to find me.”

“Everything alright over here?” Hondo has since made his way over to your group as he stands to your right. You obviously hadn’t noticed being too caught up in whatever this is.

“You think you deserve an apology?” Rooster’s voice raises, caught off guard.

“Yes! Why wouldn’t I? You just left, and even though I was twelve I still tried to get in contact with you for six years after the fact.”

“And you think I should be sorry for that? For the fact that I didn’t answer the phone when you tried to rub it in my face that he just let you go to the Academy?”

“You think after you he just let me go?!”

“Of course I do! That’s the only reason you’re sitting in this room with the rest of us!” Rooster stands right as you do, now physically looking down on you between the barrier that Hangman creates. He’s pushing on Rooster’s chest, while a hand comes to rest on your shoulder.

“Is that what you’re angry about? You’re jealous of me?” You ask incredulously, still not lowering your volume.

“Why the FUCK would I be jealous of you?”

“Rooster” Phoenix warns him. He continues anyway.

 “Jealous of the fact that your Navy connections bought you into the TopGun program in the first place, into the Academy? Huh?!” You almost flinch as he gets closer to your face, but you hold steady, chest heaving in anger still, but not backing down. “Or is it the fact that you think I’m jealous of your family, cause that sure as hell isn’t-”

“That is ENOUGH.” Hondo announces. “You are supposed to be professionals, how many of these meetings are going to end in fights?!” Your stony gaze falls from Rooster to the hand on your shoulder. You recognize the long fingers as Bob’s, he squeezes your shoulder lightly as if asking if you’re ok. You’re not, but the fact that he’s here and has your back has you taking a deep breath in, deeper than any you’ve been able to take since Rooster opened his big mouth.

“Ya know”, Hangman starts, “back in the olden Navy days they would have handed you boxing gloves and let you fight it out from there.” His attempt to relieve the tension falls flat as the rest of the team gauges if the two of you are actually done fighting.

“Yeah well”, Rooster responds, “From what I remember Mantis does a better job taking a punch than throwing one. Just ask her mom.” And just like that your breaths grow shallow again as your stomach drops. An audible breath leaves your mouth as everyone’s eyes fall from Rooster to you, and as much as you try to remain stoic, your bottom lip begins to wobble as your mouth falls open slightly. There’s an immediate sense of remorse in Rooster’s eyes as he realizes what he just said. But much like everything else he’s done, it’s too late. The damage has already been done.

“ROOSTER”, Phoenix scolds him. You don’t even stay to hear the rest of it, turning on your heel you leave the room, not being able to stand the looks of pity from your teammates. Once in the hallway you make your way to the women’s locker room. Each footstep seems louder than the next. The closer you get, the heavier the tears start to form on your lash line, only falling once you slam the door open and swing the curtain closed in a shower stall. Sliding down the wall of the cubicle, you hug your knees to your chest, attempting to silence the cries that are only coming naturally with the tears. It’s getting harder to breathe, even as you attempt to take large breaths. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Phoenix yells as she pushes Rooster. No one dares to stop her as she continues to berate him. Bob is absolutely stunned at the information Rooster just dropped, but is shaken out of his thoughts as he looks at the door you just fled through. By the way you rushed out of here, he thinks you’d like to be alone, but on the off chance you need someone, he slips out of the room to go find you. He passes the men’s locker room and heads to the women’s hoping that’s where you escaped. Knocking on the door, he slowly opens it.

“Hello? Is anybody in here?” He doesn’t receive an answer, but he can hear someone crying who he can only assume is you. “Mantis, are you ok?” Still no answer. “Mantis, I’m coming in” With his eyes glued to the floor he follows the sounds of your sniffling and sobs until he reaches you. “Hey, I’m opening the curtain, ok?” He slowly slides back the curtain to find you in the corner of the stall, face tucked between your knees as you attempt to take in ragged breaths. He’s immediately on his knees in front of you and his heart breaks at the sight. He thinks you know he’s there, but he can’t be sure. It’s obvious you’re in the middle of a panic attack and he doesn’t want to scare you, so he gently rests a hand on your knee.

“Mantis, can you hear me?” You raise your head at his voice, revealing a very red and splotchy face as tears continue to fall out of your eyes. Your breathing is still very ragged as you grip his hand on your knee as if he would float away if you let go. He would never dream of doing such a thing, but he grips your hand right back.

“It’s ok, I just need you to breathe for me, alright?” You nod your head at his words as he demonstrates taking deep breaths in, holding, then letting them out. You’re attempting to follow them as your head continues to swim, taking note of this he moves your hand from your knee to over his heart, pressing it against his chest. “I’m right here”, he tells you as you continue to follow his breathing. The soothing nature of his heartbeat helps to bring you back down to earth. And little by little you start to feel the rest of your body come to its senses. It starts with your fingertips, feeling the pressure of Bob’s rough hand pressing it against his steadily beating chest, as the feeling crawls up your arms and legs. The tears begin to subside and all that’s left is the dried tracks they left as they swam down your cheeks.

Bob remains in front of you the entire time, even as you realize just how close the two of you are, he doesn’t falter. You’re now acutely aware that your hand is still sandwiched between his hand and chest, your fingers instinctively wiggle against his as you finger the material of his flight suit.

“Are you gonna be alright if I leave you here for a sec?” You nod, not daring to make eye contact. “Ok, I’ll be right back.” He places your hand back against your knee as you stare at the spot he once occupied, your head beginning to ache. There are still so many emotions going on, but your body is starting to feel the after effects.

Bob’s quite literally back in under a minute as he assumes his previous position, only now holding a bottle of water. He opens it for you as you graciously accept it, taking a couple small sips to start out with. You manage a small “Thank you” as you hand the bottle back to Bob. Embarrassment begins to overtake your system as you curl back in on yourself.

“Are you feeling any better?” You nod your head slightly, still avoiding his gaze.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Any time”, and though other people would pass it off as a way of Bob trying to say you’re welcome, you know he genuinely would help you any time you needed him. You’re still not sure what to say, so you don’t say anything. Bob moves to sit next to you against the wall, not breaking the silence.

“You don’t have to stay here with me”, you manage to croak out.

“I know.” He says so sure. “I just need to make sure you’re gonna be ok.” You let a deep sigh out through your mouth as you lean your head back against the tile wall. At this moment you’re just feeling drained. That’s what panic attacks usually do. You were just so mad at him, and then he shared one of your deepest, darkest secrets in front of all of your coworkers. You had maybe thought you’d be able to patch up your relationship with him if he owned up to his mistakes, but now? You don’t think you’ll ever be able to get past this. If your dad wants to spend so much time with Rooster, let him. You don’t want to see his face ever again, which you know is a big ask, knowing that you have to work together. Maybe you should just put in a transfer, it’s not like you see your dad a lot outside of work anyway. You’d miss most of these people more than they’d miss you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Bob gingerly grabbing your wrist and facing your palm upwards, and reaching into his pocket he retrieves something, laying it down in your hand. He lets it go and you miss his touch as he rests his hands on his knees. Looking down at your palm, you realize that he’s left a single penny behind.

“What’s this?”

“A penny”

“I can see that”, you smile slightly, “what’s it doing in my hand?”

“This may shock you, but when I was younger, I wasn’t much of a talker. Sometimes it was like pullin’ teeth to get me to talk-”

“I know the feeling”

“Yes, well, my Grandpa noticed how it didn’t come easy to me. So sometimes when he noticed I had a lot going on he would hand me a penny, and without having to ask, I would just start talkin’”

“A literal penny for your thoughts” you realize outloud. You grasp the penny, staring as you hold it between your fingers.

“It doesn’t mean you have to say anything”, Bob rushes out, “Just- if you want, you’re free to share your thoughts with me. No judgment” This is quite possibly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever shared with you, and staring at the penny you know you’re safe with Bob. Safe to share your feelings, safe from… anything really.

“I really want to tell Rooster to go fuck himself.” Bob gives you a small chuckle.

“Well, I think Phoenix may be doing that as we speak.” Good, you think to yourself. You shift the coin between your fingers and thumb before deciding to speak again.

“I was so sad, for so many years. And now I’m just starting to feel angry. Every time I see his face, I just can’t stop myself from laying into him.” It’s quiet for a moment as Bob waits to let you continue. “I don’t think I’m asking for too much, or that I went too far. And he just- God, he just laid it all out there for everyone.” Bob notices your fist beginning to clench and he slowly reaches over to grasp your hand in his.

“I’m sorry. And if it means anything, I don’t think you’re asking for too much.” You hadn’t even realized you started crying again until Bob’s thumb was swiping a stray tear away. Your breath catches in your throat and his hand moves away quickly, as if touching your face had hurt him. He clears his throat. “Were you going to wait for your dad, or did you want me to take you home?”

“Home? I thought I was supposed to meet Sylvia today?”

“Oh, yeah”, Bob chokes back, surprise coating his features, “We can go to… my place then?”

“If that’s alright with you?”

“Of course it is”, Bob says almost too quickly. “I mean”, he coughs, “Sylvia, she would love to meet ya”. And then he gives you a smile. You know the one, it’s closed mouth but it causes his cheeks to scrunch up beneath his eyes, taking over half his face. It’s almost enough to make you forget about this whole day.

He stands, offering you his hands to help you off the ground. He doesn’t leave you immediately at first, he just stands in front of you as if assessing the situation. Weighing his options. Glancing down at his watch, he looks at the door, “I think everyone should have gone home for the day. But if you want, you can wait in here while I grab my stuff?” You nod, taken aback at his thoughtfulness once again.

He leaves for a short bit while you grab your own bag from your locker. He knocks on the door once again, signaling his return as you make your way through the halls. The setting sun illuminates the parking lot and glares at you through the glass doors. Bob opens the door allowing you to go first as you spot his truck and make your way to it. The ache in your head is starting to come back and you can’t wait to take your hair out of the tight bun it’s in now.

“Mantis!”, you turn around as someone calls your name and immediate regret fills your system. You roll your eyes at the sight of Rooster walking toward you as you turn to keep walking, Bob right behind you.

“Mantis!”, he yells again as if you didn’t hear him the first time. “Come on Bug!” You stop in your tracks, rage once again emanating from your pores. Turning on your heel, you drop your bag onto the asphalt. This catches Rooster by surprise as he stops right before you.

“Do NOT call me that”, you grit through a clenched jaw as you point your finger at him. You can’t help the way your arm shakes in anger.

“Sorry”, he lets out dejectedly, placing his hands on his hips. Even if your brow wasn’t furrowed from squinting in the sun you have a feeling you’d still be staring at him with the same expression.

“Oh, so you do know that word”, you scoff. Rooster bites his tongue as he looks down at his feet. “And I’m not in the mood to talk, so save it for someone else who doesn’t want to hear it.” In the distance you’re aware of Bob throwing his bag in the back of his truck as he grabs yours and does the same. 

“I just want to-”

“I told you, I’m not in the mood”, you move to turn to Bob’s truck as Rooster reaches out and grabs your wrist.

“Mantis, c’mon-” The grip on your wrist sends your senses into overdrive as anger takes over. As he tugs on your wrist, you turn and collide your free fist into his face. It’s funny really, you weren’t aiming for anything in particular but you land it right on his cheekbone. It was enough force and surprise to knock him backwards

“Jesus Christ!” he shouts, grasping his face in his hand. Tears begin to well up in your eyes for the second time today as you shake out your hand. “What the hell is your problem?” He yells at you.

“Carole would be so disappointed in you”, you rasp out, cradling your hand. You stare Rooster down as he looks up at you in shock, until he can’t stand to anymore and tears his eyes away. Bob’s standing right behind you as you turn and bump into his chest.

“Are you ok?” he asks, lightly resting his hands on your shoulders.

“No”, you whisper, “Let’s just get out of here.” You don’t dare to spare a look back at Rooster, but Bob does as he leads you to his truck. The man is standing at his full height now with his shoulders slumped. The skin just under his eye is already starting to swell as he watches you walk away this time.

The ride back to Bob’s is quiet as you stare out the window. The radio’s humming quietly in the background and he doesn’t dare disrupt the silence, so he takes a glance at your hand. The skin around your knuckles is slightly irritated from the force you punched Rooster with, but other than that it doesn’t look too bad. He knew you were tough, but he never thought he’d see you punch someone in the face. If it had to be someone, he was glad it was Rooster though. That guy had it coming, especially after what he said today. You’re still staring out the window with a look of indifference, and you still had the penny he gave to you earlier, but you hadn’t said anything about what Rooster had revealed. So, he wasn’t going to push it until you were ready or wanted to talk about it.

You’re pulled out of your trance once the truck stops in Bob’s driveway. He grabs both of your bags before you’re able to grab yours, but he stops as he’s about to open the door.

“Just a warning, it’s probably a mess in here, so I apologize.”

“I have a feeling that your definition of a mess is my definition of clean.” He gives you a slight smile as he opens the door.

“Only one way to find out.” Opening the door you find, just as you suspected, an immaculate house. There may be a couple dog toys lying around, but that’s about it. You’re startled a little bit as Bob whistles, “Syl! Come ‘ere girl!” You smile at the accent coming through, and then the thump of something on the second floor running down the stairs. Sylvia comes barreling down the hallway as fast as her claws against the hardwood allow her. Bob is immediately on his knees in front of her, scratching behind her ears and speaking in what you can only describe as baby-talk, “Oh Syl, I’m so sorry. Daddy was gone for such a long time today wasn’t he?” You’re attempting to hold back a laugh, eyebrows shooting up at his use of the word “daddy”.

Sylvia’s tail stops wagging as she notices you standing behind her dad. Bob looks back at you and then at the dog, “Now Sylvia, this is Mantis. Mantis is a very good friend of mine, and I know she has a funny name, but you’re just gonna have to get over that, ok?” You can’t help but chuckle at how talkative he is with her, and even as you stare at her enormous brown eyes you immediately crave her approval. You start to kneel down next to Bob, but before you’re able to get on your knees Sylvia is cowering away and running back upstairs. You huff out in frustration as you stare at her retreating form.

“Hey, it’s alright”, Bob explains, “Like I said, she’s kinda skittish, and it takes a little bit for her to warm up to new people.” You nod in understanding as Bob leads you to his living room. It’s fairly simple, and again very clean. Bob tells you to take a seat as he grabs you a glass of water from the kitchen directly behind the living area.

“So daddy, huh?” The glass just about slips out of Bob’s hand upon hearing your use of the word. He swallows, taking a moment to collect himself.

“Uhm”, he coughs, “Yeah, I don’t know. It just sort of happened.”

“It’s cute”, you smile to yourself. Bob returns with a glass of water and an ice-pack wrapped in a kitchen towel. He awkwardly offers it to you as you accept it.

“For your hand”

“Oh yeah, thanks.” You lift it in appreciation before placing it on your knuckles. Wincing at first at the sensitivity. Bob sits a little farther down on the couch and watches you fiddle with something in your pocket. You tentatively reach for the penny, turning it over before handing it over to Bob. He laughs through his nose, nodding as a smile plays on his face.

“Come on, it’s your turn now.” Bob begins to chew on his bottom lip, avoiding your eyes. “If you want to ask me about it, it’s ok”, you let out more solemnly. He glances over at you, huffing out a sigh.

“How’s your hand?” He decides on, making you laugh.

“Not what I meant, but it’s ok. A little stiff.” You get the sense that he wants to know, but is getting shy with you again. And even though he doesn’t ask, you get an overwhelming urge to tell him. Taking in a shaky breath, you start in the only place you know where to, “Do you know how I got my call-sign?” He shakes his head.

“Although, I do recall you telling Hangman you’d bite his fucking head off” The two of you laugh. Sylvia, just as sneaky as her dad, pops her head up out of nowhere, resting it on Bob’s thigh. His hand instinctively goes to pet her head as you try not to acknowledge her existence, hoping she’ll make her way over to you.

“That’s what I like to tell people. But, no. When I was a kid, I was deathly afraid of insects, still am if I’m being honest. But, there was one incident”, you smile at the memory, “Where I was at the park, and I turned to look behind me and there was a praying mantis, just sitting on my shoulder. I, of course, freaked out and was trying to get it off me, but it wasn’t until Carole- Bradley’s mom, calmed me down where she was able to carefully pick it up and take it off me.” You’re laughing a little at this point, and Bob can’t help but smile at your own.

“She got me to stop crying and explained that it was just a little bug”, you swallow, staring down at your iced hand, “like me.” Bob’s face softens as he remembers Rooster’s words. “That became her nickname for me, and when she died and Bradley left, nobody called me it again until-” You cut yourself off, choked up just talking about Carole, and remembering how Bradley used to be. Before he was Rooster.

“Anyway, I hadn’t had a run-in with a praying mantis until flight school. I was out on a hike with the rest of my class, and what do I see on my shoulder when I turn around? A damn praying mantis. I screamed again, just like the first time, and everyone thought it was hilarious. So, the name Mantis stuck. It just felt like…” you struggle to find the word.

“Fate”, Bob finishes the sentence for you. You look up and find his eyes trained on you. Giving him a slight smile, you nod your head.

“Yeah, exactly.” Your eyes remain on his, and your heart beats a little faster. “So I’m not exactly bug, but that’s ok, because I don’t think anyone but Carole can call me that. Even if Bradley used to-” You look away, only to find Sylvia standing between you and Bob. Having must inched her way closer while you spoke, “I don’t want him to anymore.”

“I think that makes a lot of sense, and I also think Mantis suits you.” You smile and dare to reach your hand out to Sylvia, who simply sniffs the approaching limb. She nudges her nose closer, sniffing your palm as you very gently scratch her ear, much like Bob did earlier. She leans into it, daring to walk closer to you. Taking in a deep breath, you let it out before you lose the courage.

“It wasn’t a regular thing”, Bob’s loving gaze at Sylvia falls as he looks up at you, “Just when she got really angry, or I reminded her too much of my dad I guess.” Your hand stops petting Sylvia as you stare at the glass of water on the coffee table, the condensation dripping down onto the coaster Bob thoughtfully placed underneath it. “Carole and my dad found bruises a couple different times, but I was too embarrassed to tell them how they got there. But she knew. I guess Bradley must have known, too, or he wouldn’t have brought it up today. I think they tried to do something about it, but they wouldn’t grant full custody to my dad because of his work, and… I don’t really know what happened after that.” Sylvia’s head now rests on your thigh, much like it did earlier with Bob. You grant her a small smile, moving your hand once again to give her some attention.

You don’t have to look up to know that Bob’s staring at you. Your nose starts to tingle, alerting you to the fact that tears were starting to form in your eyes. “It got better when she remarried, her focus wasn’t on me as much anymore. She was busy with her husband and his kids.” You scrunch your nose, attempting to rid yourself of the feeling, but it’s no use. The tears start to fall and you hastily wipe them away with your free hand. “Jesus, sorry”, you say as you give him a watery laugh.

“Don’t be sorry”, your tears continue to fall, “None of this is your fault.” Bob’s words hit you deep as you stare at the ceiling, willing these tears to stop, but they just won’t. “Can- Can I hug you?” You look over at Bob and give him a fast nod of your head.

“Yes please”, you whisper. He moves along the couch to get closer to you, and then wraps you up in both his arms as you do the same. Even through both of your flight suits, Bob is warm as you melt into him. Your eyes close as you breathe him in. He smells like sweat and jet fuel from being in a plane all day, and you’re sure you smell the same. It’s comforting nonetheless.

Bob just wants to pick you up and take you far away from here. Away from everyone that dares to make you hurt. He feels you sag against him and he pulls you just the tiniest bit closer as he breathes in the scent of your shampoo. He’s realizing now it’s been a while since he’s hugged someone like this, and maybe it’s the case for you, too. His hand goes to soothe along your back and your eyes flutter shut at the motion. He remembers you saying your mom wasn’t too happy when she found out about the Naval Academy, and he doesn’t want to think about what happened after the fact.

“I’m sorry you have to go through all that”, he whispers just above your ear.

“It’s alright, things are starting to look up”, you sniffle, pulling him just a little bit tighter.

Taglist:

@lemmons1998

@itsmytimetoodream

@theamuz

[lastsubstance]

How the TS gang feels about Kuras

(The Alchemist.) When everyone disperses and you have to choose who to follow.

Asking about Kuras.

You follow Ais.

MC: I didn’t know that you and Kuras were friends.

Ais: In a way. I help him in the clinic sometimes. Doctor doesn’t let most people closer than arm’s length.

MC: And you do?

Ais: Heart’s on my sleeve.

               Get the sense Kuras was like that in the past. Must’ve been burned.

He trails off after the last few words. Then shrugs.

Ais: He opens up in his own ways, if he’s relaxed enough.

MC: I don’t know how to even imagine that.

Ais: You’d be surprised. Even the doctor has an endearing side.

I can’t decide what’s more intriguing: the fact that Kuras has an “endearing side,” or the idea that Ais has managed to coax it out of him.

Ais: Tell me if you uncover any of his other secrets. I’d kill to know more.

You follow Leander.

MC: Do you and Kuras work together?

Leander: Occasionally. Did the mysterious, competent doctor catch your eye?

—OPTION SELECT—(Select "He seems like a good person")—

MC: He seems like a good person, though it’s hard to believe anyone’s a good person these days.

Leander: That’s Kuras. He works hard to serve the people of Lowtown.

               He’s a miracle worker, even if his beside manner could use some work.

MC: Do you think he might be able to cure my curse?

Leander starts to speak, but pauses to consider me for a moment first.

Leander: …Kuras is good, but he’s only a doctor.

               Besides, unless you’re actively dying he’ll make you wait in line all day like everyone else.

—OPTION SELECT—(Select “He came across as cold”)—

MC: I get the impression he’s a bit cold.

Leander: A doctor with his level of expertise and perfect service? Impossible.

               He never warns you if something’s gonna sting, and he’s stingy with the pain medicine too.

               But at least he treats everyone the same. That’s something I suppose.

You follow Mhin.

MC: You and Kuras seem to get along, though.

The tense lines of Mhin’s features soften.

Mhin: He’s an exception. Few people are willing to help others; fewer when there’s any risk involved. And of them, Kuras is unique.

I have a feeling that Mhin doesn’t smile often. But the curve of their lips, however slight, is unmistakable.

They catch themselves, their expression closing off with a near-audible snap.

Mhin: He’s not the worst. A decent doctor, even if he asks too many questions.

               But nothing is really free here.

MC: Unique is one way to describe his work.

Unconsciously, I grip my stitched arm, where the Soulless severed it. Mhin glances at me almost knowingly.

Mhin: The only one of its kind; not replicable by anyone else. It’s a fitting word.

I wonder what injuries Kuras has healed for Mhin, and whether they know how he does it.

But if they did, I doubt they’d tell me.

You follow Vere.

MC: I wanted to ask you about K—

I regret speaking as soon as I start. Vere’s mentioned Kuras before, though not by name.

His reaction last time was nasty, but I can’t back down now. Not with Vere eyeing me suspiciously.

Vere: About…?

MC: The doctor, Kuras.

I tense, ready for a blowback, but Vere only flicks his hand dismissively.

Vere: Bit of a bore if you ask me, but he’s popular enough.

               You know, on account on his massive…heart.

He winks, as though the stress he placed on “heart” wasn’t already suggestive.

Vere: There’s always a line wrapped around the block for his services. People can’t seem to get enough of his special medicine,

MC: Probably because he doesn’t charge anything.

Vere’s tail gives an impatient twitch.

Vere: Or they’re eager for a little mouth-to-mouth with their pelvic examination, if you get what I mean.

When I grimace, Vere gains wolfishly at me. There’s clearly no point in asking him anything else about Kuras.

[infiniteeight8]

More of time traveler Tony please

I have been doing these long enough that there are actually two time traveling Tony stories that this might be requesting a follow up to. at the beginning again is from Stephen’s POV and they both time traveled. However, I’m guessing you want a follow up to the other one, unhinged time travelling tony, because that one is a bit more obvious about Tony being the time traveler. It’s also more recent. So here we go.

A quick note: I’ve decided, purely because I only just finished writing an alternate-method-to-defeat-Thaos fic, that in this universe, Thanos is somehow already taken care of by the time Tony finds Stephen. I have no idea how or why, I just didn’t want him looming in the future.

-

Stark is nothing like how the press portrays him.

Some of that is just because sensationalism sells better than the truth, of course. But he’s also nothing like the occasional more serious interview Stephen has run across. Even after his experience in Afghanistan, there had been a certain careless joie de vivre to Stark.

It’s not entirely gone in the man Stephen comes to know over the weeks following Stark’s warning, but it’s definitely muted. Stephen is constantly getting the impression that Stark has somehow seen too much. It sounds like something out of a cheap horror novel, but Stephen can’t think of any other way to describe it.

Stark also can’t seem to stay away from Stephen. Stephen is pretty sure that he tries to moderate the urge to stick to Stephen like glue at first, but by the time two weeks have gone by, he’s showing up in Stephen’s apartment almost every night. It’s behavior that should raise a wealth of red flags, but Stephen has to admit that he’s enjoying it.

Stark thinks Stephen is brilliant. It’s not just in what he says, it’s in how Stark talks to him, the questions he asks, the look in his eyes. He can’t seem to get enough of listening to Stephen talk about his work, despite the fact that Stark’s focus has always been engineering, not medicine or anatomy or even biomechanics.

Stark also knows things about Stephen that he really shouldn’t.

Things Stephen has never told him. A few things that Stephen has never told anyone. Maybe Stark’s apparent obsession has driven him to dig into Stephen’s past via the undoubtedly extensive methods available to a tech genius billionaire, but the more time they spend together, the more Stephen doubts it. Some things you just can’t learn from documents or interviews, no matter how good you are at reading between the lines.

By the time Stark has become ‘Tony’, Stephen’s skepticism has been slowly worn down until he can’t resist the question:

“What happened to him? The me that you knew, before.”

Tony goes still for a single, telling moment. Then he smiles, turning toward Stephen on the sofa. “I wondered if maybe you wouldn’t guess, given how your life has gone this time around. But I should have known better.” Stephen just waits. Tony sighs softly. “He died. Saving everyone and everything a few times over.”

Stephen toys with his wine glass for a moment. “You loved him.”

“Yes,” Tony says. “But we never got our chance. To be honest, I’m not sure we would have even if he’d lived. Everything else was always more important to him. I couldn’t argue the point, but I did wish things could be different.”

“So you made them different.”

“The only way I could,” Tony agrees. He gives Stephen a look. “Is it too much?”

“That you came back for me?” Stephen asks. Tony nods. “No,” Stephen admits. “I like it.”

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Raggfong

This week's beast was the Raggfong, much to the dismay of everyone who is sick of birds. Again, sorry, there are a bunch... and the random distribution put a clump of them in December/January, so it's going to get worse before it gets better. If it helps, imagine it's some kind of ritual to empower the birds currently eating the Gävle goat. Or maybe a "Twelve Days of Christmas" sort of thing -- we've already had the partridge.

Also again please forgive me if I fail to string sentences together properly -- still sick. Covid, actually, turns out. The brain fog is difficult; almost forgot I was supposed to do this today.

Anyway, here is the link to the entry that our artists are working from:

(Why did I redact the Greek and Latin names for the coot? I'm not making any effort to hide its identity... baffling choice on the part of Past Me.)

And if you have no idea what this is about, you should take a look at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting for an explanation and previous entries.

As usual, art will appear in roughly chronological order under the cut.

@elodieunderglass (link to post here) responded days before anyone else with this image, which successfully conveys a lot of emotion in my opinion. Those are some very communicative facial expressions on the birds. I particularly like the coot, and how it's positioned to shield the chick from the sun. The real gem here, however, is the text of the post linked above, which I would describe as a prose poem about the bird depicted. I'm genuinely a bit blown away by it -- go click the link and read it for yourself.

@embervoices (link to post here) has got some kind of effect going on here that I don't know enough about art to describe, but I like the way it looks. Her post mentions the phoenix connection, which I think comes through pretty clearly in the design and pose. The linked post explains some design decisions, including which real-world birds were the inspiration for this one.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) helpfully specifies that this Raggfong is resting on a bed of sea kale. The design of this bird is very good, I think, conveying a certain gravity one does not always associate with seabirds. I also like the effect created by the background; it kind of looks like it's the cover for something, you know? The linked post explains the various birds from which the artist borrowed features and why, and also discusses the evocative nature of the entry this is based on -- I'm glad people are enjoying that aspect.

@rautavaara (link to post here) has made the executive decision that this bird is actually a frog, and the drawing is frankly too pretty for me to have any kind of problem with that. Look at that border. And the wonderful color palette. Also there's a flying frog, which is very cool.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) notes an emerging theme in these entries that birds (except coots) are jerks. I honestly can't remember how consistent that theme is across all the birds... I know there are some the author likes, but there are also definitely going to be additional Birds That Are Jerks in future. I like the crown-like crest on the Raggfong, and I'm impressed by the dedication involved in doing all those little body feathers with a fountain pen. Also, if you look closely, you'll see that one of those chicks the adult Raggfong is carrying has been shown staring off in the same direction as its parent, while the other has its head turned and its eyes closed, meaning we can expect it to join the coots off to the right... and there's already a young Raggfong there, too. The linked post contains a detailed explanation of design decisions, which you should go check out. (Also, thanks again for providing alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has employed her usual medieval stylization to depict a Raggfong inspired by an albatross (on the grounds that they are a seabird with "judgy" eyes... you know, I can see it). I am absolutely delighted by the scrungliness of the chick being shown here, which does indeed have the "muppet made from dryer lint" quality of a real albatross chick. They have also included a series of pictures that show the whole life cycle, which I've decided (after substantial back-and-forth) to not copy over here as there's a certain color-of-the-sky quality there, but which I strongly encourage you to click on the link and look at for yourself. I particularly like that the coot in the "life cycle" picture appears to have a couple Ilyechams in her flock in addition to the new Raggfong.

@moustawott (link to post here) describes their Raggfong as a gannet mixed with an eagle, and it looks pretty majestic, honestly. The background really enhances that effect, and I think it makes a much more entertaining contrast with the two little chicks being carried below. There's a certain severity to the design that I think is fitting.

@pomrania (link to post here) has ditched the whole "coot" thing for a more direct interpretation of the Raggfong's "common counterpart", which they deem the "Ritchfong". I kind of like the idea of two related species of bird that the human observer has interpreted to have class divisions. The crest on the Raggfong is also a very appropriate touch, I think. The linked post contains additional detail on design decisions, and links to some process images, so go check that out.

@treesurface (link to post here) has decided that the Raggfong should actually be a sort of insect that people mistake for a bird, which I think is quite clever. They explain their reasoning for that a bit more in the linked post, along with some other notes on design and execution that I think are worth reading. I really like the concept that the "unmoving wings" are elytra, and the kind of glittering quality that they suggest here. (I also appreciate that they provide their own alt text.)

@karthara (link to post here) has drawn a Raggfong in several scenarios to express the behavior described in the entry. I really like the overall design here, with the feathery tufts on its head. Also charming is that one flying up near the sun -- it looks so happy to be on fire. The linked post explains the design decisions and the real-world birds from which karthara has taken inspiration. They also mention they included the coot chicks after looking them up and seeing how colorful they are, so I did a quick google and found this great headline:

(Tl:dr coot parents show preference for more colorful chicks, so the later the chick hatches, the more colorful it is, allowing it to compete with its larger, older siblings for food and attention.)

And finally, the Aberdeen Bestiary depiction:

The one diving into the basin just looks so goofy to me, sorry. Anyway, as I'm sure everyone has guessed, this is the eagle.

Yeah. I know. The whole "fiery rebirth" thing sounds like it should be the phoenix, but this bestiary has an entry for "Phoenix" and it's not this one.

Regular listeners to the Maniculum Podcast may recall this particular eagle behavior coming up before, in the quiz-show episode we did for the second part of "Sidrak & Bokkus". I still don't really know where this idea comes from, but there you go. Eagles.

I feel like there's some kind of comment that could be made over the lack of compassion shown by the medieval eagle here and, you know...

... but I can't quite formulate it, so you'll have to write your own.

Anyway, see y'all next week for our next beaſt.

[bright-and-burning]

I am really intrigued by how your writing process sounds. Do you like write summaries in an outline and then replace each scene summary with the actual scene?

DJFLADJLAD paging @foggieststars and @userkritaaay for this one (they are both equally horrified by how i write). basically... it is not that simple. im afraid.

i actually have been doing some funky stuff w storing my current wip specifically so i can explain my writing process better (i feel like having examples is helpful bc uh. my process is genuinely a little incomprehensible.)

i rambled a lot here w lots of spoiler free examples (equally, if anyone is looking for any little snippets from this wip, there's some below lol). and im not actually sure this explanation makes any sense. tldr the answer is ehhh kind of? but with more steps in between?

everything starts in my notes app, cuz it's easily cross-accessible on my phone and my laptop. sometimes it's like, a sentence or two of what i call Real Prose (final product type stuff), sometimes it's like, a rambling paragraph describing a concept like i would if i was texting a friend (sometimes this is literal in that i copy paste text convos in if i think i'll do something w it). i'll call this stage 0.

current wip (sci fi fantasy au aka the light between lines, which started in the notes app as just the words "xmen meets shadow and bone. or something" (and stayed that way for ages)) technically began as voice messages to @mecachrome while heating up leftovers. back in. i wanna say may.

anyways. it starts small, and the next stage (stage 1, i guess?) is this weird mix of rambling and Real Prose. an example:

this one is especially funky bc its part Very Vague timeline (i cut off earlier bits that spoil things but it stretches back several years more), part sketchy rambling, part Real Prose.

so now i have this like, rambling outline. kind of. it's like if i was on the phone w a friend explaining the idea, and every so often i'd be like WAIT THIS IS SUCH A GOOD LINE. and then there's a real line. [i use brackets as signals of things switching back and forth between modes. easy to search up, not really used in regular prose, etc]

for this wip, i then copied everything into my word processor of choice, so i wouldn't lose the evidence of the rambling outline. lol. although i did it slightly late, so there's already some transition to the next stage.

then i go through in order, and fill it in. here's a bit from my notes app, it's very "telling a story to a friend" (this is stage 1 still):

here's that same bit at the bottom of my word doc (aka stage 2 except normally i replace it/write over it in place in the doc. i've been saving it all instead of replacing it for this exact reason). i've elaborated now. they're in a locker room, now. lando's kitting up. need to hit on this emotional beat, need to have this reference to oscar in the scene prior being sleepy, need to have this lore explained, and then there's action. but there's still a Lot to fill in, obviously. oscar has to kit up. are they talking the whole time? what's lando doing in the gaps of silence if they aren't. and then the entire training mission. lol. [some bits of my notes are already at this stage or beyond so i dont have to do anything i just scroll past, and some bits are literally like "lando is mad. oscar is mad. they shout" and i have to do the heavy lifting here]

this ^ then becomes 1069 words. 305 of which come from the words between "lando's" to "babies," and 764 of which come from "they go out on a training mission and it doesn't go tits up." here's the beginning of that (this is more like stage 4, if im honest.):

NORMALLY. there are brackets all over the place still, at this stage. this scene just came easier than normal lmao. but this is what it would normally look like in uhhh stage 3:

it's very... in conversation with myself. does nerve make more sense for lando to use than audacity? does dirtier than he started sound better than dirty again? idk i'll figure that out later. the moment i feel stuck i move on. immediately. otherwise i would go MAD like, 60 words into a wip trying to come up a perfect word. that is a sticky problem for AFTER i've done the majority of the work, so that way i don't just give up completely early in the process.

i didn't know how to phrase jenson's attempt at making oscar not mad so i just put down the gist and kept it pushing. i know i want lando to have some kind of snarky thought about it being hard on oscar but i couldn't figure out how to phrase it right. so i got down the core elements and kept moving. etc etc etc.

the transition from stage 2 to stage 3 is where i really use brackets and lowercase to differentiate. for some reason, my brain gets less... fussy. when i write in all lowercase. cuz it knows it's not going out like that, so it can be less perfect. so sometimes there's a stage 2.5 that's like a full scene but it's all lowercase to ease the pressure. and then i'll go back thru and capitalize.

the doc rn has. 7.7k of words. 4.1k of those words are at like, stage 3 and beyond. there might be a couple transition bits in there that are entirely in brackets and therefore are really like. stage 2.5. if that. there's a couple scenes with no brackets whatsoever aka stage 4. there's 1k straight of action where the only brackets are around my vocab choices for the vehicle they drive. the remaining 3.6k is somewhere between stage 1 and stage 2 (mostly stage 2 tho. probably averaging at stage 1.9)

i don't go from stage 1 to stage 2 to stage 3 for the whole document in order. to be clear. im not on draft 3 rn! it's not, oh everything is stage 2, and then slowly everything becomes stage 3, and then slowly everything becomes stage 4. i dont write in order!! and also the stages aren't rigid lmfao it's all slow evolution

to go from stage 2 to 3 isn't like, i sit and look at a scene summary and work on that same scene until it is mostly prose w a couple clarifying brackets. it's like, i come across a scene summary/stage 2 chunk. i start writing. i get a little stuck, i leave the line of scene summary for the bit im stuck on and move to the next line. sometimes i cant get it into prose at all but i can elaborate more on the scene summary, so it's a little more detailed than it was before. sometimes i get a lot stuck, and i can't visualize anything at all. ok. it's all gonna be scene summary, or script-y dialogue that sounds wooden but gets the meaning out, whatever works. that's fine lemme leave it alone.

and then i scroll down until i find a bit i DO have the visuals for, i DO know what's going on for. maybe it's a single bracket in an otherwise perfectly prose section that i've finally figured out the wording for. maybe it's a scene summary that's suddenly playing out in technicolor in my head. maybe it's a completely stage 4 section that i've decided actually these two lines should be one. and then i repeat! eventually i hit the bottom of the doc and head back up to the top to repeat again, and again, and again. until all of it's in stage 4 with maybe a couple brackets, which means it's set to go to the google docs for beloved darling betas to read over and tell me what's what <3

this probably did not . make a ton of sense. i wish i had the equivalent of those like painting process videos bc i think it WOULD make sense if i could be like SEE. but kfjdsajfjfdlsa

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week's writer's spotlight feature is: @pearynice! With twenty-eight Stranger Things works, they've written twenty-seven fics tagged with Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson!

Nominated by @hotluncheddie, they recommend the following works by peachesandpears:

Talk to Me

Personally

Starched Collars

In your eyes

they are so lovely and so talented!! so many short and sweet pieces - that so often seem to touch and soft squishy part hidden away within me, put a little bandaid on it <3 - @hotluncheddie

Below the cut, @pearynice answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve always loved the “opposites attract” trope. While Steddie is the first ship I’ve ever seriously written for, in the past this dynamic has always been my go to (ie: destiel lol) but Steddie specifically because I think Stranger Things is a great show with compelling characters, and that Eddie and Steve deserve a happy ending. And for me that happy ending will always have them with each other.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love AUs. Love seeing the little blorbos in as many situations as possible. I love being able to see how writers take what we know about these characters and make it into a whole new story. (But especially a soulmate AU. I loveeee a soulmate AU.)

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I think anyone who follows me can probably guess hurt/ comfort and fluff. I LOVE making these boys suffer and then smooch about it. 

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

AH okay I will scream about this fic until I’m blue in the face (I actually submitted an ask to this blog about it because I think it’s criminally under-viewed!) it’s As the World Falls Down by daeneryske on Ao3. I read this MONTHS ago and I still think about it all the time. It’s long but god I wish it would never end. I want to tattoo it on the inside of my eyelids.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Yes!! I can’t say much because it’s for my Reverse Big Bang but they both contain tropes I’ve never worked with before and I’m so so excited to be writing both of them!!! I’m already having so much fun! And a goal of mine for 2024 is to broaden my writing horizons a little and explore tropes and topics that I haven’t yet, so I don’t really have any specifically in mind but that is my general plan!

What is your writing process like?

Very chaotic. I almost never write an outline. It’s pure vibes baby. And when I DO write an outline I almost never follow it (whoopsie) I feel like as I write the plot comes to me, and outlines tend to pigeon hole me so I can’t get myself out of writing slumps.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Maybe my overuse of italics?  I also don’t really know how to describe it but sometimes when I’m writing heavy action scenes/ emotional scenes I’ll start and stop sentences before they’re complete sentences. Like: “Steve says nothing. Sits down next to his father and looks over his shoulder.” I don’t know if that’s a writing quirk or not lol but that tends to be how I structure my sentences.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely after I’ve finished. Once I’m on a deadline I psych myself out.

Which fic are you most proud of?

That’s such a hard one, because I think I’m proud of a lot of my fics but for very different reasons. I think if I had to choose, I’d pick Blood of the Covenant. It’s one of my more recent fics, and I had toyed around with a Wayne POV fic for such a long time before writing because I wanted to get it right. It was hard to find his voice but I think in the end I executed it well.  

How did you get the idea for Talk to Me?

Well besties I dunno how personal we want to get here, but the inspo for this fic (and tbh a lot of my hurt/ comfort fics) is just based on my own experiences. Growing up my mom did not have the capacity to tend to the thoughts and emotions of her kids, ergo me pushing that shit into a Steddie fic. Obviously what I wrote as Steve’s experience and mine are not directly parallel, but that is how I got the idea.

When writing Starched Collars, what was something you didn’t expect?

That was my first heavy hurt/comfort fic that I wrote, and I remember being really blown away that people could relate so heavily to Steve’s experiences. I remember I had some comments saying that they felt really comforted seeing their own experiences reflected within Steve, and I just never expected my writing to be able provide that for someone. 

What inspired Personally?

Well, again, we’re getting a little personal (babum tss)- but how I wrote Steve’s mom reacting to him mentioning the sunglasses is definitely how my own mom tends to react when I express any kind of negative emotion around her. In this case it was a lost parking stub instead of sunglasses.

What was your favorite part to write from Talk to Me?

The COMFORT- that’s always my favorite part. Making it better! (Although it is also a little fun leaving the angsty cliffhanger- but I will ALWAYS make my fics have a happy ending.) But also I’m a little in love with the idea I had that Eddie likes to rub on Steve’s stomach until he falls asleep. I thought that wrapped up the story very nicely.

How do/did you feel writing Personally?

It was honestly very therapeutic. I don’t think I’ve ever word-vomited out a fic more rapidly than I did for that one. I wrote that in my notes app in one afternoon, read through it once or twice, and posted. It was a relief to get all of that out in writing, and then even better to see that other people found comfort in what I had written. 

What was the most difficult part of writing Starched Collars?

When I was first drafting the fic I was going to have Starched Collars and In Your Eyes (the kinda sorta sequel) be one in the same. I spent a long time trying to balance the two narratives, before I realized it was just too much to fit into one fic. Having both detracted from the other’s story too much, and eventually I had it just focusing on Steve. I think this was the best move but I spent so long trying to strike that balance before I scrapped it.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I don’t know if I can name any one scene or line as explicitly my favorite, but the final scene of Because it’s Steve it’s absolutely a favorite. That whole fic is very special to me because it reflects a lot of my own thoughts/feelings/experiences on being demi, and that final scene is just exactly how I experience my demisexuality. (I’m not sure how long this can be, but I’ll insert the passage here): 

And they’re still in this disgusting bathroom. There’s still a toilet behind Eddie’s knees, but when Steve’s mouth meets his, it doesn’t matter. Because one of Steve’s arms wraps around his middle, his fingers dip into the spaces between his ribs, their chests touch, and it all feels so good. Because it’s Steve. And it’s still Steve who kisses him, still Steve who licks into his mouth, still Steve who nearly sends them both stumbling into the disgusting toilet. And because it’s Steve it’s so funny that Eddie can’t stop laughing, and there’s a blush high on Steve’s cheeks as he tells Eddie to stop it. But then Steve kisses him again. Asks if he wants to go and find Robin and Nancy. If he wants to dance. With him. 

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

YES. So Because it’s Steve is now a series: Demi/Virgin!Eddie, with all of Eddie’s firsts with Steve. This is very smutty but it’s also like, the sappiest, most disgustingly fluffy smut I’ve ever written. I would say it’s “schmoopy” but I was outed as an Old Lady on Discord because apparently no one uses that word anymore. ALSO- and maybe this is still too far away BUT I am working on TWO Reverse Big Bang pieces and… you guys… my artists are so talented and kind and their brains are so big and so far I’ve gotten along with each of them so well and I am already so excited to post these and we’ve only just begun. I cannot wait until we can make our visions into an entire fic!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add? 

YES- whoever nominated me for this (I don’t know if that’s something they’ll tell me??) THANK YOU- this is so sweet. I feel so honored that someone thought of me as deserving of this. There are so, so many authors you could've chosen and you chose ME! That’s just- insane. Thank you.  And to anyone who has said they found my hurt/ comfort fics relatable in any way, I rain all of the platonic hugs/ forehead kisses/ handshakes/ high fives/ nods of the head upon you. ❤️✨

Thank you to our author, @pearynice, and our nominator, @hotluncheddie! See more of @pearynice's work featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer's Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!