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haruchuiyo · 2 months ago

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the kings love

the king broke your heart. he is now on his knees, at your mercy.

content: NSFW + a welt yang royal au + fem!reader + reader is a queen + implied arranged marriage + groveling + angst + betrayal + talks about trauma (very short) + scenes with food + kissing + dry humping + breeding kink + talks of an heir + very slight creampie (implied) + non sexual nudity + also sexual nudity + implied obsessive behaviour + perverse thoughts + blade and his duchess makes their cameos + fluff at the end + happy ending!

word count: 14k (i got lost my bad)

—

“Her Majesty The Queen.”

Welt’s head perks up from his paperwork on his table as he hears the announcement of your arrival.

As he sees you, he feels his heart flutter at just the sight of you. His eyes wander down to the beautiful gown that hugs your body perfectly, fitting you like the true queen you are. Then his eyes trail up to your pretty face. You’re beautiful as usual. There’s a slight smile on your face as you approach him.

“Are you ready, my dear?” You ask gently. Welt swears this gentle voice of yours was real and not an act, then he sees how your hands are formed into fists on the table. Welt felt his heart sink and he nodded.

“Of course, my love.” Welt replies. The servant, as if on cue seeing the lovely act of his king and queen, decides to leave you two alone.

Hearing the door close and it’s only the two of you, you back away from Welt and drop your smile.

“I’m sorry.” You hear Welt say and you can’t help the slight dry chuckle escaping your mouth. Ignoring his words, you place a brooch on his table.

“Wear this brooch, it symbolises our unity through our marriage and for the kingdom.” Hearing the words slip past your mouth, Welt feels his heart sink even deeper and he regrets what he did to you a lot.

“Of course.” He softly says as he takes the brooch. As if he suddenly lost all knowledge on how to pin the brooch on him. Just a moment later, he feels your hands on top of his chest. Soft and gentle to the touch, you help him pin the brooch on the front of his suit.

Welt can’t help but let his hands wander and softly place them on your waist. He hears your breath hitch and you softly shake your head.

“I don’t need this from you right now, your majesty.” You try to remove his hands from your waist but it’s to no avail. You lightly bite down on your lower lip in frustration. Why does he have to be so strong?

“Will you look at me?” You keep looking at the front of his chest. “Please?” His voice was almost wavering and you slightly shook your head.

“I don’t want to.” At your words, you feel how Welt presses your body into his chest even closer. “Why not?”

“Don’t force me to do this. You have no right, especially after what you did.” You harshly tell him, holding back tears.

No matter what you say, you can’t deny the fact you enjoy his touch on you. His hand on your waist feels good and the heat from his close proximity raises a certain warmth in you, you almost don’t wanna leave his hold on you.

“I’m sorry, I truly am.” Welt sounds genuinely apologetic but the betrayal from what he did hurts deeper.

“Let me go.” And he does. And you miss his touch but you can’t go back.

—

As you get back to your suite from your royal duties, you see an envelope on your dresser. It reminds you of the times you thought Welt sent letters. The front of the envelope has your name on it and when you turn the envelope you see the familiar stamp on it. And you immediately place the envelope away in your drawers.

You have no idea what Welt would do if he saw you put his letter to you aside. Thank the aeons we’re not sharing a bedroom, you think to yourself as you sit on the chair in front of your dresser.

As if subconsciously, your hand reaches out to the drawer with the envelope in it. Something in you wants to read it, but the other something tells you it’s the same thing again. A letter written by someone else pretending to be the king, your husband.

And you let your hold on the drawer go as soon as your maids enter the room to tend to you.

—

Welt can’t stop looking at you. You look beautiful. Your smile lights up the entire kingdom and its people. The way you greet them so gently and as if they all are familiar to you. And the way you give each and one of them a smile. Welt can’t help the thought that escapes from him wishing your smile was all his. He wants you and he’s too late. Or maybe he isn’t.

And when he sees you look at him, your eyes are shining and face covered in happiness, his heart flutters. He can’t help what he did just now.

He gently takes your hand in his and kisses your knuckles. You look at him surprised when there’s rows of awe’s going off behind you. And little did Welt know, his little gesture made your own heart flutter.

And hours after that, you hastily walk away from him while taking your gloves off. You hear Welt call for you from behind you but you don’t quit your steps away from him. At this moment, you really truly wanted the guards at your floor, which you share with said man running after from behind you.

“Wait!” He manages to catch up. “Please.” And he grabs your hand and pulls you to a stop. As he does that, you catch a whiff of his scent and you almost want to take another one. As you look up at Welt, you see how he’s doing the same thing but he’s not hiding it.

He subtly gets closer to you, his hand wrapped around your wrist. You feel his thumb gently stroke your skin and you subtly grit your teeth and try to pull away from his hold, but it’s to no avail.

“Stop grabbing me like that!” You try to shake off his hold once more but it doesn’t work at all. “It’s not my fault I have to do this to force you to be with me.” At his words, a dry chuckle leaves your mouth and Welt immediately regrets his words.

“Aren’t you a little too late with that?” The way your eyes turned cold as you looked at him, Welt felt his blood run cold. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t do what you did and your apologies would have been nonexistent, your majesty.” You spit out and Welt feels his heart sink, though your eyes are glaring at him, he can still see the tears you’re holding back.

“I’m truly sorry. I regret what I did. You don’t deserve that.”

“Of course I didn’t. I didn’t deserve to be roped into an arranged marriage with you either, who was known to be a king who refused to marry.” And Welt flinched at your words, though you’re right, your words hurt. Welt can’t help but look down and he sees how he’s still holding you by the wrist. He lets you go and somehow, he feels slightly happy you didn’t leave him when he dropped his hold on you.

“You should’ve been known for playing with the heart of someone who loves you.” And he looks at you. And there’s tears streaming down your face and you chuckle as you wipe them away. His heart sinks even more at your tears though he can’t forget the words you just uttered. Though what you said next was an arrow to his heart.

“I feel sick for still loving you. Even though you hurt me so much, I can’t help but still love you. No matter what you did, that doesn’t remove from the fact you are a good man but you are not one to me. Not at that time and not now either.”

—

A little more than a year ago

You are nervous. Very nervous. But you shouldn’t be. But you are. You are to be married to the King of Astral who has a reputation of not marrying at all. What if he refuses you when he sees you. You subconsciously scratch your fingernails when the doors open and a handsome man emerges.

A handsome man adorned in finest silks, with a graceful walk and such aura to him. You would’ve thought it was someone else if not for the crown on his head and the pin on his right chest.

Welt Yang. King of Astral.

Your eyes widened, he’s truly handsome and you swear you felt your heart skip a beat by just his appearance. But when he talks, your eyes almost pop out. Not only is his face and entire body handsome, his voice is as well.

How you managed to curtsy to him and introduce yourself is a wonder to you. Though when you looked down at the floor, you could feel a pair of brown eyes on you. And when you looked up, your eyes were locked at each other and you saw a tint of a red hue on his cheeks and you felt your heart swoon.

The King of Astral is adorable as well.

Days and weeks after that, you have been in the company of Welt multiple times. Your father called it ‘get to know each other’, though you objected at the time your heart still fluttered.

“So, your majesty-“

“Welt.” Said man cuts you off and you look at him confused. “Call me Welt.”

And so you did.

Then came the day of your days as engaged and you swore this man had your heart in his calloused palms. He made you smile, laugh at his dry jokes and you enjoyed being with him so much, you anticipated meeting him every single day. Little did you know of what is soon upon you.

Weeks of being engaged, each and every day, you received a handwritten letter from Welt. Telling you of his days, how much he misses being in your presence and discussing every single topic with you. And since you’re helping with planning the wedding, he adds in a few suggestions here and there which make you smile. And every time you receive his letters, you write him equally as many back.

Then came the wretched day.

You had decided to give him your letter in person. As you stood outside the doors of his office, the guard outside the door bows to you and was about to open it and announce your arrival, when you grabbed his shoulder and shook your head.

“Mind if I go in there by myself? I don’t wanna disturb the king with his duties.” You kindly request, the guard looked flustered at what he is supposed to do but since you’re the soon to be queen of the kingdom he’s serving, he saw no point in refusing your simple request. You thank him profusely before quietly opening the huge door. You were eternally grateful at that moment when the door didn’t make a loud sound.

“I’ve sent the letter you requested, your majesty.” You hear a familiar feminine voice. It’s his Secretary, Himeko. About to speak up, you hear Welt’s next words.

“Did you write how I would, Himeko?” Welt asked and Himeko said yes.

What are they talking about and why do you feel nervous?

“Splendid. The princess is quite smart, if she picks up on the fact that I didn’t write the letters, it’d be quite troublesome as we are gonna get wed tomorrow.” Hearing what you did, you felt rage surge up inside you. Not just rage, but betrayal and despair.

Have you written to Himeko this whole time, thinking it was the king? The lovely words you read and received were all written by the king's secretary.

Welt was about to speak up when he saw you appear from behind Himeko. Your brows are furrowed and your steps are in haste as you reach him. And he sees a letter in your hand before it’s harshly placed down on his table right in front of him.

“What is the meaning of-“ and a sound emerged in the office of the King of Astral.

Welt looked sideways, his eyes widened as he held his cheek and Himeko looked terrified. You had just struck the king. And when he looks at you, there’s tears falling down your face and something stings in Welts heart.

When you hear him call you by your name, your heart aches.

“I really thought you were a good man, your majesty. I truly believed you liked me and enjoyed our time together. If you really didn’t want to do this and had to resort to having your Secretary write your love letters to me, you should’ve just refused to marry me.” And you left the room and the room has never been quieter.

And after that day, the letters stopped coming. But the man who was the object of your anger and the cause of your heartache, never stopped coming to you.

Every day he apologized. There wasn’t a time where you didn’t hear an apology from him. Even during your wedding party, even though he didn’t say it during your first dance as a wedded couple, you saw it in his eyes. You felt it in his touches at public events and in the gifts he gave you. Personally.

And everytime you refused.

—

Welt sits back in his seat in his office, looking up at the ceiling. He feels numb but most of all, regret. His heart ached the first day he saw your tears and he was the reason for that. And today you cried once more and he was once more the cause of your tears. Seeing you in that state two times, each time his fingers itches to wipe your tears away and beg on his knees for you and apologise, over and over.

Every day Welt berates himself for hurting you like that. And ever since that day, he’s read the letters you wrote when you two were engaged. And every time it doesn’t fail to bring tears to him when he sees how much of your love for him you poured into those letters. All while thinking they’d go to him and every letter you’d get back, you thought it was from him.

Oh how he wishes to undone his actions and never hurt you like that.

He picks out a key from his front pocket and unlocks the drawer. Stacks of letters, in worn out shape, with your handwriting. Addressing every one of them to him.

And he reads them all over again for the umpteenth time.

—

“He reads your letters every night, my queen.”

You hear Himeko say from behind you on one of your walks, which you wanted to take alone but she decided to join. You scoff at her words

“It’s as if I’m dead, well I’m not and he can go burn these aeon awful letters.” You retort back and you hear Himeko sigh from behind you.

“He said it was a royal order.” Himeko speaks up and you quit your steps to turn around to look at her.

“Yet you didn’t have the ounce of decency to let me know. You knew how much this would hurt me.” Himeko winces slightly as she nods her head. “I confided in you, I’ve talked about him to you. I thought we were friends yet you were along in this betrayal as well. Silly isn’t it.” You dryly laugh before continuing to walk.

“I’m dearly sorry.”

“I’m sure you are.”

And you know she is. You can’t fault her for following a royal order. Royal orders are most important and secretive, they’re to be carried out no matter what. Though it hurts you to speak to your friend like that, deep down you’ve already forgiven her.

When you arrive at your bedchamber, there's a letter on your dresser and you see how there’s no stamp or anything whatsoever to tell who it’s from. There’s only your name on it.

Unfolding the letter, you see the familiar handwriting and put it away.

—

Welt sits at the tiny table. Candles are lit and there’s warm food on the table. But you’re not here.

And it’s been hours.

And every day he does this. Send you a letter, asking you to dine with him and each time you don’t come. Welt can’t fault you for that.

He smiles to himself sadly as he sees the empty seat in front of him, wishing you were sat there.

—

“My queen, the kings been waiting for you for half a dozen hours now.” At your lady maids words, you hastily turn your head. He’s waited six hours for you to come join him for dinner?

Your heart winces. Maybe he doesn’t deserve sitting alone for six hours while the food gets all cold. You grab your night robe and stand up from your chaise.

You arrive at the room he set up for dinner, gently opening the door. You see Welt sat alone. All while he’s holding onto what you assume is letters. And he’s reading it over and over. You see him softly brushing his fingertips over the words before leaning the letter closer to his face and he inhales the scent. And that’s when you see your own stamp on top of the letter. You remember how you sprayed these letters with your personal and favorite scent.

“Are you not going to eat?” And Welt’s head perks up so fast, you’d think it would fly off his neck. You can’t help the thought of thinking he’s cute. But desperate. Maybe it’s good he’s desperate.

“You’re here.” He breathes out as he stands up, approaching you.

“My lady maid told me you’ve been waiting for six hours. The food has already gone cold, your majesty. I think you should eat.” You tell him as he stands in front of you.

“Not without you, no.” He softly says and your eyes softly widened before shaking your head.

“So you’re gonna starve yourself unless I’m dining with you?” You lightly tease and you see how Welt’s eyes shone in delight at your simple teasing remark.

“Maybe.” He mumbles. You walk past him to the table. About to pull the chair out, Welt beats you to it. He slides in the chair for you as you sit down. You gently thank him before looking at the food on the table. And your eyes properly widened in surprise.

These all are your favorite foods. Even the drink on the table is your most favorite and you look up at Welt. And all he does is show you a gentle smile and your heart winces.

“I got you your favorite dessert as well, but maybe you’d like to eat that after the meal?” He asks and you look at him for a few seconds before slightly nodding your head. And he flashes you a happy grin.

“The food is cold, I can ask the servant to heat it up-“

“It’s alright, it’s pretty late and they all most likely wanna go to sleep now.” You say as you pick up the cutlery and cut into the food.

To say the dinner was good was an understatement, though you hesitated being alone with Welt after how much he hurt you, you can’t deny the fact that you enjoy his presence. He keeps asking your thoughts on diplomatic issues and news, your thoughts on how to better things for the people and of course, questions about you. Though your heart fluttered at his attentiveness on you, you were still hesitant. But you answered nonetheless.

Then he brought out the dessert and you see how there’s only one plate of it. And it’s for you. You look at Welt confused but he just smiles at you.

“I made this for you.” You get confused at his words before realizing what he meant.

“You mean, you made this cake from scratch?” You ask and he nods his head. As he does that, you see how the red tint on his cheeks and the candlelight seems to be showcasing that so well, he looks so handsome while blushing.

“I didn’t know you enjoyed baking.” You mumble as you pick up the dessert spoon and cut into the cake.

“I’ve been learning how to bake for a while now, this is the only one that turned out well and didn’t burn.” He tells you and you giggle, missing the way Welt’s eyes softened and the way they glanced down at your mouth.

Welt felt nervous seeing you get a piece of the cake and put the piece in your mouth. What if it doesn’t taste good? What if it isn’t how you like it? If it isn’t, he’d make more and more till it’s exactly how you like it.

“It’s good.” You simply say as you take another bite, refusing to meet his eyes. Feeling shy for complimenting him. You hear Welt sigh in relief then he sees you push the plate of cake towards him.

“Try it. A chef should always taste his own food. But in this case, the baker should taste his desserts.” You chime up softly and Welt grins at you.

As he takes a bite, instead of focusing on the taste itself, he realizes it’s the same spoon you ate with. Is this what an indirect kiss is? He thanked whoever he learned his phrase from in his head before looking at you.

“It’s good.” He nods his head and you lightly smile at him.

And the dinner was over like that. All that was left was the silence in the room and just you two looking at each other. You were about to stand up and excuse yourself when Welt got up from his seat and kneeled in front of you. It went by so fast, you couldn’t process everything at once.

“What are you doing?” You ask as he kneels and looks up at you. He grabs your hands that were on your lap and takes them in his larger one. He holds onto your fingers gently.

“I want you to know I’m sorry.” He mumbles. Your heart beats faster when you see him place your knuckles on his forehead.

“Did you make this dinner to have me forgive you just like that?” And he shakes his head.

“This dinner was to be with you. This dinner was so I could dine with my wife and have her eat the food and dessert she likes.” He tells you with such a clear voice as he kisses each one of your fingertips and you feel flutters in your body before you pull away your hands and stand up.

Welt looks up at you from where he's kneeling. You look down at him when you feel him gently stroke your wrist with his fingers before he places his hands on your waist and makes your abdomen face his way, before he leans in and nuzzles his face there.

“Stop.” You whisper out as you hold onto his head but you don’t even push him away, you’re just holding onto his hair. You can hear him inhale your scent by your abdomen before nuzzling even further.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“I think about you day and night. I read all your letters before going to sleep. You’re in my dreams every night, my love.” He continues on as you plead for him to stop but he doesn’t.

“I will be on my knees, apologizing for hurting you the way I did. If it takes me ten years or more, it doesn’t matter how long. I will do anything it takes to make you smile, have you laugh at my dreadful jokes just so I can hear your lovely laughter again. Just so I can have you looking at me and have you see how much I cherish you and love you. Because I do.” At some point when he was uttering these words, you felt your nightgown get wet from where Welt was burying his face on your abdomen.

“I love you.” He looks up and his face is stricken with tears. And you shake your head before pushing him away. “I love you.” He says as he tugs on the ends of your nightgown.

“No you don’t, this is all to make yourself feel better and have me forgive you like you didn’t do anything hurtful to me.” Welt shakes his head, before he could speak you walk away, not being able to handle being alone with him anymore.

You left him alone in the room, on his knees as tears fell down his face. Leaving him with all regret and pain in the world.

—

“Your Majesty, you have been summoned to the council.” Your lady maid announces. You look up from the book you were reading.

“Has something happened?” You ask as you put away the book. Your lady maid looks down on the floor but you don’t miss the way she’s blushing.

“Are you alright?” You ask as you check her forehead and she nods her head. You look at her confused, she’s never acted this way so you can’t question any further since it’s the council summoning you.

“Is the king there?” You ask as you two walk towards the council room. “Yes, my queen.” She answers and you nod your head. Nervous to meet him after what happened days ago. Ever since the dinner night, you haven’t been in close proximity with Welt or alone with him at all. But he never stopped sending you letters.

“Her Majesty, The Queen.”

You enter the room and see all the ministers of the council sitting around the oval table, with the king seated as well. They all stand up as you enter the room, bowing in respect to you. The king however approaches you and you gently accept his offer of taking your hand in his. You sit down on your seat beside him.

“Is something the matter to have the both of us in the council room?” You ask and all the ministers look amongst themselves before looking down. As your lady maid did, they all are blushing but not as much as your lady maid did.

“Is everyone sick?” You innocently ask, not knowing what’s gonna come upon you soon enough.

“My love.” You hear Welt say from beside you. As if on reflex, you turn your head as he calls for you and your eyes widens when you see a red tint on his cheeks. Why’s everyone blushing?

“My queen, there’s been…words going around about a certain topic.” One of the ministers starts off before he coughs before he can continue.

“What word?” You ask and everyone stays quiet before one of the ministers, Dangheng, speaks up.

“There’s been talks of an heir, your majesty.” Dangheng says and you are still confused. “And what is that supposed to entail?” You ask once more.

“Talks of you two still not having an heir, despite being married for more than a year.” Your eyes widen.

“The people want a princess or a prince to welcome to the Kingdom of Astral.” Dangheng finishes and your eyes are still wide open as you clench onto your hands. You did not expect to be summoned for this.

“I think us having an heir is out of question for the moment, as we still want to enjoy our life as two a little more.” Welt speaks up, sensing your surprise and discomfort. Though it wasn’t discomfort, it was nervousness you felt.

Having an heir means you need to get intimate with Welt. You didn’t consummate your marriage on your wedding night. Though nobody knows of that, you understand why the people are talking about an heir to the kingdom.

Then you remember Welt’s words of you two wanting to enjoy your life as just you two. You look away from the ministers to look at Welt. When you see his pair of brown eyes land upon you, your heart flutters so you hastily look away. That moment didn’t go unnoticed by the ministers on the table.

“So me and the ministers at this table have been talking about sending your majesties together to the country and have you two talk it over there.”

—

And here we are.

You climb down from the carriage with the help of the footman. Thanking him gently as you look at the huge mansion in front of you. It’s stunning, especially in the sunlight. There’s a fountain in the middle to the entry and flower bushes adorning the entire front entry of the mansion.

“It’s quite lovely isn’t it?” You hear Welt from beside you and you nod your head. The mansion is very lovely.

As you settle in with the servants packing your suitcases. You decide to take a walk around the mansion. You managed to sneak away from your bodyguard, though you felt bad, you needed some alone time after riding in the carriage the whole day with Welt.

The more you walk, the more you find yourself further away from the mansion. Though it can be seen with its sky high towers, you know you’re far away from it by an hour.

Then you stumble upon a lake with another mansion. The lake was behind it and it was lovely as well. There’s lotus flowers and you get down on your knees, admiring the flower when you hear steps from behind you.

A lady dressed in fine clothing, with a tall man with dark hair beside her. When these two see you kneeled by the lake, they walk towards you.

About to ask who you are, their eyes land on the pin on the right side of your chest and see how familiar you are. It was your royal queen pin. And both of them bow in unison.

“Your Majesty.” They say as you feel embarrassed to have stumbled upon them like this. You didn’t quite expect to meet the Duke of Stellaron and the duchess like this.

“Please, no need for pleasantries. I’m sorry to have stumbled upon your humble abode like this.” You feel truly embarrassed. The Duchess of Stellaron speaks up.

“No need, you are welcome here anytime. We’re the one sorry for not welcoming your majesty’s presence here properly.”

So the married couple of Stellaron takes you on a tour of their mansion. Yingxing, a quiet man of few words, seems to be speaking more with his wife than he does with anyone else. Though he looks stoic, one doesn’t miss the love in his eyes as he looks at his wife. And your heart aches. Your mind automatically goes to the king you left at the mansion.

“Your majesty, if I may ask, what took you this far from the royal mansion?” The duchess asks and you sheepishly chuckle. “Needed some alone time, so I may or may not have run away for just a few hours.” And the duchess giggles.

“I quite understand that husbands can be a little unbearable. This one never leaves my side if he isn’t working.” The Lady of Stellaron says as she pats her husband's chest while grinning ear to ear. The duke who seemed to have gained some red color to his cheeks, stayed quiet.

Then you hear some running from behind you, the duke stands in a defensive mode, grabbing his sword but relaxes when he recognizes the royal soldier insignia on the soldier running towards them.

“Your Majesty!” The soldier pants as he bows before looking up.

“Easy there, breathe now.” You gently tell the soldier and he nods his head. “Your Majesty, the king is looking for you.” The soldier says and you feel quite bad. You did just run away without telling anybody.

“Is he worried?” You ask and the soldier nods his head. “I think the king almost thought he lost you.” And you turned quiet. You see how the duchess smiles at her husband before looking at you.

“I think I need to cut short my walk with you two. I had a lovely time. Thank you.” You tell them sincerely.

“We are most honored to have the queen with us, we’d be most delighted if you came here on an official invite.” You nod your head.

“And keep out a lookout for an envelope for you two as well. I'd love to have you two at the mansion sometime.”

—

As the soldier guides you back, you see the king at the top of the stairs looking out. When he sees you emerge from the flower bushes, he doesn’t hesitate for a second to start running. To you.

Welt crashed into you with a oomph as he wrapped his arms around your body.

“Ouch, you’re quite strong, my king.” You mumble with your arms dangling by your side, not returning his hug. Welt immediately pulls away and looks at you. He cups your face and rests his forehead against yours.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispers. You shake your head. “I was just walking around, met the duke and duchess of Stellaron. Quite lovely people.” You ramble on and Welt looks at you quietly.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?” He asks softly and your heart beats faster. You shake your head once more. “I’m fine, thank you.” You mumble, as if subconsciously, you gently hold onto his clothes.

“If you want to walk around, take me with you.” Welt says and you nod your head. He smiles at you before leaving a chaste kiss on your forehead.

You didn’t know what to make of what just happened, it happened so naturally you didn’t question it at that moment.

—

Still at the mansion in the country, you still receive the letters from Welt. You have not gained the courage to open any of them, though you want to, some voice in the back of your head is telling you it’s the same thing from a year ago all over again. So you push the thought of reading his letters aside.

You and Welt haven’t pushed the agenda of having an heir. And you think Welt doesn’t seem to be planning to bring it up anytime soon considering how he seems to be devoting all his time to you and you only.

Everyday he tells the cook to only make food you like, bring desserts of your taste to the table and make drinks and teas only you enjoy. Though at some point, you felt frustrated and felt bad. Does he not wanna have something he likes to eat or drink?

Not only that, as soon as he sees you step out of the mansion or hears about that from his servants, he’s at your beck and call. Seems like the day you ran away for a few hours had left quite an impact on him.

Though you can’t push him away everytime he does that, because you do, to your disappointment, enjoy his presence. He seems to not mind you not replying to what he says and lets you stay quiet as he keeps talking.

You two passed by a certain flower bush, you walked past it when Welt stayed behind. He gets on his hunches as he plucks it from the bush. You turned around as to why it turned so quiet and saw how he’s approaching you with the flower in hand.

Your entire body swells in butterflies and you hastily turn around. And you hear Welt’s steps hasten as well and he stands in front of you. And he gives you the lily flower.

It’s your favorite.

Welt sees you hesitating to take it from his hand so he lightly grins at you.

“I can pick up the entire ground of lilies for you if that’s the reason the flower isn’t in your hands yet?” At his words, Welt sees you giggling and he swears the sky never looked bluer, birds started singing and he saw only you in his vision.

Then you take the lily flower and thank him softly. Oh how much Welt wishes he could engulf you in his arms and kiss you to the world's end. But he stayed put and watched you subtly smile while admiring the lily flower.

—

You decided to go out the back of the mansion, and see how there’s a fountain there as well. As you sit down by it, you look into the deep water while fiddling with the royal queen pin on your right side of your chest. When you do, you feel how it’s a bit loose, about to fix it you hear Welt call for you. You turn to look at him the same time as your hand accidentally hits the pin, making it fall into the fountain water.

Your eyes widen and you immediately stand up. You unbutton your clothes and take them off. “Why did you startle me like that?” You glare at him a little. Welt chuckles lightly. “I fetch for someone to get the pin.”

“No need, I do it myself.” You huff out as you slide your dress down your body.

Welt sees all this happen in front of him and stands star struck when you’re left in your white chemise. Then he sees you jump into the water and he immediately runs up to you.

He sees you in the water, looking around then grabs something. When you get up from the water, you try to get yourself up on the fountain so Welt helps you by putting his hands below your armpits and lifts you up. You yelp in surprise a little, but he steadies you on the fountain then doesn’t let go. You sit down on it.

“Why did you do that? Are you hurt?” Welt fusses over you, as he looks at you everywhere with his eyes.

You lift the pin in your index finger and thumb and show it to him. “I am fine, let me go.” You sigh out. Welt does release his grip but not before his hands lightly graze down your sides and you look up at his brown eyes. They’re focused on your body, he doesn’t look up once to look at you. You look down at yourself and see how your white chemise is see through when it’s wet.

Now you’re feeling conscious and flustered, he blatantly stares at your body without any ounce of shame. Almost like he was admiring the view. At that point, a thought wandered into your head. Would he still admire your body if your chemise was off your body?

As Welt stepped away, you almost missed the close proximity and heat from his larger body. He was standing beside your thighs, but had you spread your thighs a little, would that mean he’d be standing between them? Would he pull himself closer to you? Your entire body heats up at these thoughts and your eyes widens.

“Thank you for lifting me up.” You softly mumble as you get down from the fountain and pick your clothes up. You hold them to your chest and walk past him. As you pass by, Welt couldn’t help but let his fingers graze the side of your thighs and your wet chemise. His hand flexes.

When you walk away from him, he wonders if you knew that when you were doing that, it gives him a view of your backside. Your wet dress is sticking to your skin and Welt looks at your inner thighs that got revealed by your dress sliding up. He turns around and groans at himself.

He adjusts his pants but can’t stop thinking about the way your breasts looked below the dress, your nipples perked up and since he stood over you, he could see into them. If he pulled the dress down, would your breasts spill out? Welt groans at the thought. And when he saw your inner thighs? If the dress had slide up a little bit more, he had seen everything above the thighs.

Welt has a long day ahead of him.

—

A little few days later, you get summoned to Welt’s office in the country mansion. This has never happened before, you can’t help but worry.

“I have to go back to the palace, the ministers needs me for a diplomatic task that requires me to be there in person.” Welt explains and you sigh in relief.

“Do you wanna come with me? We can always come back here as soon as the task is solved.” Welt gently tells you as he steps closer to you.

“I can—“ realizing what you’re about to say, you stop yourself but see how Welt is staying quiet, letting you finish your sentence.

“I can wait here for you.” You softly mumble and Welt’s heart swoons and swells in love for you. How he managed to not take your lips in for a kiss is a wonder.

And when Welt was gone, you didn’t know how much of a bore it’d be. If you weren’t busy with your hobby, eating or sleeping, you’d be with Welt. While you’re not much of a chatter yourself, Welt would take up the task and do all the talking.

It was the second day without Welt, and you invited the Duke and Duchess of Stellaron to the country mansion. To say you had a great time was an understatement. You grew to adore the stoic duke, who seemed to know his way with jokes and making his wife giggle and laugh. And the duchess with her teasing remarks and her making her stoic husband blush furiously.

Yingxing excused himself to use the chamberpot, leaving you alone with the duchess. As soon as the duke was out of the room, the duchess didn’t hesitate to turn to you and take your hands in hers.

“So how are you faring, my queen?” At her simple but genuine question, you can’t help but feel a little emotional but you decide to not burden her with your thoughts.

“I’m faring quite well. More than I thought I would actually.” You lightly chuckle as the duchess smiles at you.

“And without your dear husband, the king, as well?” At the mention of Welt, your heart fluttered but you lightly winced.

“Yes.” You simply say. And the duchess gets worried at your behavior but decides to not push it.

About to speak up, the duchess husband gets back to the room and joins you two once more.

The day went by and you bid bye to the couple of Stellaron before retiring for the day. As you were brushing your hair, a knock was heard on the door and you got up on your feet.

A maid was outside with a plate in her hand, on the plate were two envelopes.

“A letter from his majesty the king and the Duchess of Stellaron, my queen.” The maid bows her head and you take the envelopes before thanking her. Closing the door, you look at the envelopes in your hands. You open the letter from the duchess first. Her words in it make you smile. She simply wrote —

‘Your majesty,

Should you need a friend, I’m always just a few hours away.’

You’re most grateful for her companionship and friendship, writing a reminder in your head to thank her in person the next morning. As you put her envelope aside, you see the one from Welt.

Back at the palace for diplomatic reasons, Welt still found time to write you this letter. Your vision gets blurry because of tears forming. Thinking it’s not the end of the world, you open the envelope and start reading its content.

—

The maid gently presses a cold spoon to your eyes, her face full of worry for you.

“My queen, should you need to stay abed the whole day, do tell me.” The maid fusses over you and you chuckle slightly as you shake your head.

“I doubt my eyes are very puffy, dear. You need not worry about me.” And you’re right. It’s not very puffy at all and by the time the duke and the Duchess of Stellaron arrive at the country mansion, the puffiness is gonna disappear.

And so it did, you’re just grateful you carry a pocket mirror in your purse. Exiting the mansion, you see the duke and duchess exit the carriage.

“Welcome, Duke and Duchess of Stellaron. I’m most grateful for you two coming here.” The duchess and duke bows, giving similar sentiments back and you giggle.

“I feel bad for having you two speak with such formality with me considering we had such a lovely time yesterday. I think we’d been the closest of friends.” You grin at them, both of their eyes widen before they soften.

“I think you’re right, my queen.” The duke, Yingxing, says as his wife agrees wholeheartedly.

They joined you for tea before luncheon, and before you realized it, they'd been there the whole day. You called yourself not much of a chatter but this day, you’ve proven yourself differently. A servant entered the room with an envelope and when you saw the familiar stamp, you did your best to hold back your tears. Thanking the servant, you tuck the envelope in your sleeves and glance back at the couple in front of you. They didn’t miss how your expression changed when seeing the letter. Even they recognize the king's stamp.

“Is that from the king?” Yingxing asks and you nod your head. “Aren’t you going to open it?” The duchess asks and you lightly chuckle before shaking your head. “I open it later on, I wouldn’t wanna cut our evening shorter.”

The duchess senses discomfort from you and pats her husband's thigh, signaling him to leave the topic of the king alone, figuring out he’s a sensitive topic.

The evening went on and it was time for the couple to retire back home. So they did and you were left alone once more. You feel the envelope tucked inside your sleeve and you hastily run back inside the mansion. Arriving inside your room, you open the letter and read its content.

He’s coming back tomorrow.

—

Welt has heard word of you being in company with the Duke and Duchess of Stellaron. Before going back to the country mansion, he decides to pay them a visit. They’re on the way after all.

The duke and duchess didn’t expect to see their king on their steps at all. They hurriedly put together a table for him, apologizing for not being able to welcome him properly.

“It’s alright.” Welt chuckles. “I’ve come here to thank you two for keeping my wife company the days I’ve been away. I’ve heard she never looked happier and that’s all I wish for her.” Welt gently tells them. The duke and duchess look at each other, realizing this is quite an out of place behavior. All this time they’d think something was going on wonderfully with you two. But seeing your discomfort at seeing the king's letter yesterday and Welt thanking them, personally, for keeping you company. They never expected this.

The duchess glances at her husband, Yingxings eyes slightly widens in surprise and he grabs onto her hand signaling her a ‘don’t do this’ but the duchess just gulps on air before turning to look at the king. Welt saw the whole ordeal happening in front of him and got confused until the duchess spoke up.

“Your majesty, I hope I’m not crossing a line here. But is everything alright between you and the queen?” The duchess’s question makes Welt flash her a sad smile. Then he lightly shakes his head.

“I have done something to her and I regret it immensely. I can see she is still hurt by what I did.”

“Have you talked to her?” The duchess asks once more. Welt nods his head. “I’ve done everything I can to ease her pain and I apologize every single day.”

“I think my wife means a different kind of talk, your majesty. There must’ve been a reason as to why you’ve hurt your wife, no?” Yingxing says and it’s like Welt got a realization. His eyes widened. This whole time he’s been doing everything to gain your favour and forgiveness without telling you the reason behind why he’s hurt you the way he did. Not to justify his actions but to give you some possible understanding.

Welt hastily stands up, the chair screeches and both the duke and the duchess stand as well before she speaks up.

“I hope you mend your relationship with the queen, your majesty. She’s a lovely person and even if I have known her for a short while, it saddens me to know such a kind person is experiencing a heartache.”

And Welt couldn’t agree more.

—

Your entire body was full of nervousness and anticipation. Though you still remember the pain Welt caused you, your love for him is still there. He’s been gone for almost a week and he’s coming back anytime soon. It’s afternoon and your husband is still not here.

Unbeknownst to you, your husband is scaling up the stairs at such speed, the servants haven’t had the time to greet their king. Welt stands outside your bedroom door, having heard you’ve been cooped up there since morning.

As he stands outside still, your maid opens the door and eyes widened in surprise. About to bow and greet her king, Welt places an index finger on his lips signaling her to stay quiet. She does.

Then he hears your lovely voice he has missed all the days he’s been away from you.

“Did you forget something?” You ask the maid, not forgetting to address her by her name. Your maid yelps slightly when Welt shakes his head.

“Uh- oh! No!” The maid stuttered before she hastily left, not forgetting to bow to her king before she did.

Welt enters your room, as he sees you by your dresser, still in your nightgown and your hair released. He’s never seen you like this. He burns the memory of you like this on his brain. About to speak up, you catch him in the mirror reflection and stand up in a haste.

Then Welt sees how your brows furrowed before your face morphed into anger. He sees you grab a stack of envelopes, before reaching him in a haste and throw them at his face.

“How dare you!” You raise your voice. Welt looks at the envelopes you threw at him and sees it’s the letters he’s written to you.

“What is this—“ he looks at the floor. His eyes widened. “You brought the letters I wrote to you.” He mutters as he looks at the floor. He picks up a letter and opens the letter. Each entry in his letters is always ‘my darling wife’.

“Of course I did, and I regret opening them all.” Hearing how your voice wavered, Welt looks at you. Tears are formed in your eyes. Welt takes a step to you but you take a step back, shaking your head. “No, don’t come closer to me.”

“I need to be close to you.” He pleads softly and you shake your head. “No, especially not after what you wrote to me.”

“Did I write something bad to you?”

“You professing your love for me in the letters is bad enough.”

“Is that so?” Welt takes a step closer.

“Stop!” You take a step back the more he steps closer to you. But to no avail, you feel your dresser at the back of your thighs and you push at Welt’s chest. But since he’s so strong, it’s to no avail. He traps you between him and the dresser, caging you in by placing each hand on each side of you on the dresser.

“Is me loving you really that bad, wife?” You nod your head. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“You’re too late.” You retort and Welt sighs.

“You’re undermining yourself too much.” Welt says and pulls his body closer into you. Your body meets his fully, if he gets closer enough, your breasts will get squeezed up against his chest. Then you feel his hands on your waist before he lifts you up to make you sit on the dresser. Then he stands between your thighs and you try to push him away. He grabs your hands in each hand of his. He sees how much you’ve fiddled with your hands to the point you’ve been scratching at your nails.

“You need to stop doing this.” He softly mumbles as he takes your fingers closer to his face before he kisses your fingertips, all while looking you in the eyes. Your breath hitches and your tears fell down even more.

“It’s never too late to fall in love with you.” He softly tells you, looking into your eyes.

“Stop doing this to me, please. It hurts.” You whine and Welt shakes his head. He lets go of your hands and cups your face. He wipes your tears away but they just keep coming.

“Please, stop crying baby.” He pleads and you shake your head. “It’s all your fault. For hurting me like this, for playing with my feelings and faking those letters. I thought you loved and cherished me.”

“I do, I still love you! You’re all I think about every single second of all days.”

“You’re lying.” You shake your head again. “I don’t believe you.”

“Would you believe me I did this to you out of fear?” And your eyes widen. You look at Welt and see how his eyes are glistening in tears.

“Would you believe me if I said I faked those letters because of my fear of marriage?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” Your voice shakes. “Did you hurt me because you’re afraid of being married? I don’t understand, Welt.” Said man wishes he could focus on the way you said his name, the way he got to hear your pretty voice utter his name and not by his title.

“Since I’ve grown up, I’ve witnessed my parent’s marriage. To say it was bad is an understatement. Because of these two, marriages have left a bad taste for me.”

“Then why did you marry me?” You grip onto the front of his clothes, trying to shake him. “Why me, Welt? You would have spared me all this misery and your apologies had you not married me!” You cry out.

“Because I loved you the moment I met you!” Welt raises his words as his grip on your face pulls you closer to his face and you flinch in surprise. “I’ve loved you since the day your eyes widened at the sight of me, since the day I heard your lovely voice which continues to play out in my head all day long. Ever since I saw your eyes land upon me, I’ve loved you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I hurt you, baby. Because of my fear and distrust in marriages, I’ve pushed you away and hurt you in the most unimaginable way. Because I loved you so much, I couldn’t break off our marriage. That would mean your smiles would belong to someone else one day and that lucky man would hear your voice every day.”

“And you would not.” You add in and Welt nods.

“The letters Himeko wrote, I’m sorry. I would’ve prevented all this had I told you everything.”

“And you should’ve told me after sending out the first letter Himeko wrote.” You push at his shoulder. “Did you not feel bad for what you did? Not once?”

“Of course I did.”

“Why did you continue?”

“It would mean our marriage would’ve been spent apart unless for our duties. It would mean I wouldn’t hurt you the way my father hurt my mother.”

“But you did hurt me, Welt.” He flinches and nods his head. “I did.”

“How long are you gonna make it up to me?” You ask and Welt looks at you.

“As long as I live.” He sincerely says, looking into your eyes and your grip on the front of his clothes tightens before swatting at his chest . He lets go of his hold on your face, his hands falling down by your side. He was about to turn away when he felt you stop him by wrapping your thighs around his waist.

“You do not walk away from me, Welt.”

Welt looks at you surprised, he feels his body and face flush in warmth at the way you’re squeezing him with your thighs. He wished he wore lighter clothes so he could feel you even deeper.

“I don’t understand-“ You grab his face and lean in to kiss him. Welt’s eyes widen when he feels your lips upon his. Then you pull away. He stares at you for a few seconds before he takes your lips in a kiss. He wraps his hands around your neck and pulls you in to deepen the kiss. The kiss was slow and deep, as if the love Welt professed in his letters to you wasn’t enough, he poured out even more in the kiss. You could cry from this alone and you did. Welt tastes some salt in the kiss, he pulls away panting when he sees how you’re crying.

“Why are you crying? I’m so sorry baby, I’m so-“ his words are cut off by your lips on his.

“I cant-“ he gets cut off when you kiss down on his lower lip. He groans when you nip on his lips then he pulls away once more. You whine at the loss of his mouth on yours. “Baby, please tell me why you’re crying.”

“It’s you!” You cry out before kissing him once more. Welt is surprised but he was also confused, what did he do this time? He just wants to make it up to you and have you quit crying. The sight of your tears is constant daggers at his heart. He can’t stand the sight of them.

He pulls your face away from his and you whimper out once more. “Stop doing that.” You plead, about to go in for one more kiss. Why is he being insufferable? Why can’t he just let you kiss him?

“I don’t understand what I did, my love. If I don’t know why you’re crying and I’m the reason for it, I won’t be able to survive until I know you’re satisfied with my apologies.” He rambles on and you just stare at him. He grows even more confused but flustered, especially at how you’re glancing down at his lips. And mostly because of the way your hands are trailing down from his face to his collarbone and stopping at his chest. You slide your fingers in the opening of his buttoned shirt, feeling his bare skin on your fingertip. He feels you squeeze him even tighter with your thighs, he almost yelped forward.

“Who told you I was satisfied with your first apologies in the first place?” And Welt turns quiet. You see the screws unfold in his head before you lightly giggle at his reaction, then your giggles turn into laughter when you see he gets even more confused.

“So you pretended to have forgiven me just to kiss me?” He finally catches on to your teasing and your eyes widens. “I didn’t know my darling wife had this side to her.” He lightly gasps and you swat at his chest.

“Maybe if you didn’t make Himeko write these letters and you wrote them in the first place, we would have consummated our marriage on our wedding night.” And then it was your time to shut up. Both yours and Welts eyes widened in surprise at your words. Feeling embarrassed and utterly humiliated by what you said, you push Welt away. He moves to the side and when you get off your dresser and take a few steps away from him, he grabs your wrist and turns you around.

You couldn’t protest before you feel yourself get lifted in the air then suddenly you feel something soft on your entire back. Welt just threw you on your bed. Then he gets on your bed and you try to get away but it’s to no avail.

He pins you on the bed, spreading your thighs as he seats himself between them. He takes off his outer garment, throws it aside before he hovers above you.

“Welt- what are you doing?” You stutter out, flustered at the way he manhandled you so easily. You knew your husband was a strong man, he carried a sword for aeon’s sake. Those things are heavy. Of course he can handle you physically like you weigh nothing.

“I’m not letting you go until you tell me why I made you cry.”

“I have answered your question-oh!” You feel him nip on your neck. He licks the spot on your neck before he lightly sucks on it. Soft moans leave your lips as you grip onto his hair.

“No, my darling wife, you did not.” He mumbles against your skin. Now he’s lowering down to your collarbone. Because of your nightgown being of such soft material, it was easy to tug it down. If Welt tugged it even further with his finger, your breasts would spill out of their confinements in your nightgown. He does the same thing he did to your neck on your collarbone.

“Ah! Welt, not there, it’s gonna be difficult to cover up with my dresses.” You manage to say and Welt shakes his head. “If it’s impossible to cover up, that’s good enough for me.” He trails his hands from your collarbone down your sides to grip onto your thighs. As you move below his body to get out of his body hovering over you, you brush your heat against his clothed crotch and Welt moans. You stop in your actions.

“I told you I wouldn’t stop until you answer my question.” Welt mutters out before he lightly rolls his hips against yours and a breathy moan escapes your lips. This feels so good, you run your hands over his back. You crumple his clothes in your hands before you could feel his bare skin on his back.

“Then I won’t answer your question.” Welt’s eyes darken at your words. His hold on your thighs moves up and he squeezes your breasts through your nightgown. You gasp at the touch. He feels how your nipples are perked through your gown and he pinches them through the material. You let out a hitched moan. He does all this while also rolling his hips against you.

“I’ve dreamt about you like this. Below me, at my mercy as you let out sweet sounds by how I make you feel.” Welts words have you deeply sighing. “That day at the fountain? It plays out in my mind every day. Every day I wonder what would have happened had I tugged your chemise off and let your breasts spill out.” You moan at his words and at his hips softly rolling against you. You shake your head, whispering soft ‘stop’ but he doesn’t stop.

“Had I stood between your thighs, would you have let me take you right then and there?” Your eyes widens but you shake your head, Welt chuckles deeply. “Baby, if you react like this, are you sure you wouldn’t let me?” You bite down on your lower lip then give up, your head nods and you see how Welt smiles.

“You would have been with my child already if we consummated our marriage at the fountain.” Welt leans down to whisper by your ear and your eyes widens. Shoots of pleasure run through your body and you feel your heart beat even faster at the thought of what he said. “My child.” He mumbles as he lightly bites down your earlobe. You whine as you shake your head.

“I wouldn’t let you do that.” You huff out but whines escape your lips when you feel how Welt stops rolling his hips against you. He stares at you and you were about to cry because of him doing that when he chuckles.

“Look at you, do you not see how your fingers are fumbling with my pants, my love?” At his words, you look down and see how he’s right. Did you just subconsciously reach down to do this? You grow flustered.

He resumes his hips rolling against yours and you feel a knot form in your lower abdomen. You dug your heels into his back as you grip onto his hair this time.

“Welt, I will-oh!” Your knot in your abdomen grows tighter when you feel one of his hands on your bare cunt and he rolls his fingertips on your clit. As he continues for a few more moments, the knot releases, your thighs shudder and you feel a wave of relief come over you.

“Do you not wear underwear, wife?” And you feel even hotter and flustered than you did before. Welt pulls his hand out from below your gown and you see his fingers covered in your slick. You see how he’s looking at it, then your eyes widen when he takes them in his mouth. “No don’t-“ and his eyes fluttered at the taste of you. Not being able to handle how he reacted to the taste of your essence, you turn your head to the side.

“I cried because your love for me is overwhelming in every way possible.” You ignore his question right now to answer his other one. With your head tilted to the side, your hands fall from his back to hold onto the bed sheets.

“Is it a good thing, my love?”

Seeing you nod your head, Welt felt a surge of happiness wash over him and he slumps his entire body over your own. You let out a oumph because this man is heavy. You push at his side trying to make him get off and release his entire body weight off yours.

“I love you.” He mutters against your neck before he buries his face there. Welt felt happy once more when you, for the first time, wrapped your hands around his body to hug him.

—

The same day, Welt had fallen asleep in your arms. He was lightly snoring with his head on your chest. You were still in your chemise and you felt how sticky your thighs felt when you rub them against each other.

With the heavy man on your body, you tried to not wake him up as you slid your arms away from below him and gently put his head on the pillow. He moves in his sleep but grabs onto your chemise. Even though he's asleep, he’s somehow got a hold on you. You gently unfold his fingers on your chemise and get up from the bed.

You approach the bowl of water, take the towel and clean yourself up. While you do, you remember what had occurred after he came home.

You never knew he hurt you because he grew up with a bad image of a marriage. When it’s understandable why he grew to detest it, it doesn’t justify him hurting you the way he did. But you’re telling yourself his words and actions are sincere. This man has cried in front of you multiple times, he’s put your own comfort before his without hesitation and complains. He’s told you his deepest part of himself.

Your heart and love has always been with Welt, even through the time he’s done everything to have you forgive him. And you have.

As your thoughts wander further, you remember what happened after he told you everything. Your body flushes in warmth and your heart beats faster. The way he made you feel by his body and his hands touching you in your most intimate parts. You hastily clean yourself up and are about to adjust your chemise when you feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. You lightly yelp in surprise and Welt giggles at your reaction as he nuzzles his face in your neck.

“It’s gotten late, I didn’t realize we fell asleep.” Welt mumbles against your neck and you hum in reply as you put the towel back in the bowl of water.

You turn around to face him and Welt looks at you. As you look into his eyes, you see how they’re getting wet and you get worried.

“Why are you sad, Welt?” He shakes his head, smiling as you cup his face. He nuzzles his face into your palms. “You’re finally looking at me, I’m just happy is all.” At his words you chuckle.

“Didn’t know you were such a crybaby.” You tease lightly and Welt playfully rolls his eyes. As he did that, a tear fell down and you giggled at the sight. “I think you’ve cried more than me actually.” He sighs and you pout.

“Did you clean yourself up? I thought I ended up in a different bedroom when I didn’t see you in bed.” You nod your head, growing flustered as to why you cleaned yourself up.

“Do you wanna take a bath?” He asks and you nod your head. “Yeah, I’ve been cooped up in the bedroom all day.”

Welt calls for a maid to run a bath for you. As she prepares the bath, she doesn’t miss the two love marks on your neck and collarbone. She hastily looked away blushing and you saw it all. You subconsciously put your hands on your neck as Welt was still in the room. If he sees you flustered, you think he’d tease you all night long. And maybe say these sweet words he told you hours before. Your heart fluttered at the thought.

“The bath is done, your majesty.” The maid says as she bows her head. You thank her softly and the maid sees how your husband is still in the room and how you haven’t undressed yet to get into the bath.

“Fetch a servant for the king, to run a bath for himself as well.” As soon as you utter these words, you feel a warm presence behind you. Welt strokes his fingers up and down your wrist before intertwining your hand.

“There’s no need for that, you may leave.” Welt speaks up from behind you and your body burns up and you grow even more flustered.

“Yes, your majesty.”

The maid bows and leaves you two alone. You didn’t speak a word as Welt undressed himself before helping you. You feared if you did, there’d be no stopping your stuttering. Your heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of its place when you see Welt in his naked glory, which you refused to let your eyes wander further down, get inside the bath and reach his hand out for you to take. And you did. He helps you step inside the bath.

He leans against the bathtub and sees how your body further disappears in the water as you lean on the other side of the bathtub. Welt complains to the aeons in his head, why’s the water of cream-ish colour? Had it been clear water, he would be able to see your beautiful body. Welt internally slaps himself for his perverse thoughts.

“You could’ve had a bath run for yourself.” You mumble. He sees you draw circles on the water and he smiles. “And not take the chance to have a bath with my lovely wife?” He grins at you. He takes your hand and tugs you forward. But you don’t budge.

“Come on.” Welt pouts and you shake your head. “No.” You simply say and Welt pouts even more.

“Why not?” And you shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know.” You say as you submerge your lower half of your face in the water. Welt looks at you confused but then he sees how you refuse to meet his eyes. And it clicks in his head.

“Are you nervous, my love?” Your eyes widened in surprise and you shook your head. “No I’m not.” You retort and Welt chuckles.

“You are.”

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are nervous.”

“I said I’m not!” You stand up in haste from the bath. Which resulted in water almost splashed at Welt. He wipes the water that landed on his face with his hand before he looks at you. You’re standing with your fists by your thighs and there’s water droplets running down your body.

You look like you’ve been carved by the aeons themselves. You are divine.

You realized what you did when you felt Welt’s hand graze yours. When he softly strokes your wrist before softly intertwining your fingers, he lightly tugs you forward.

“Come to me.” His voice was deep but so gentle, all you did was quietly obey despite your eyes widening a little.

He made you sit in between his thighs and when his brown eyes locked with yours, you felt your body flush but all he did was show you a gentle smile. He gently cups your face, leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“If you place your hand on my heart, you’d feel how fast it’s beating when I’m in close proximity to you.” He confesses softly by your ear then pulls away. So you place your hand on his chest and he’s right.

It’s pounding so fast and hard against his skin, if it was possible, you think you could hear his heartbeats without a tool for it or being far from him.

You feel his hands trail down the sides of your body and then he lightly turns your body around. As if it’s a common thing, you lean your body against his chest. His arms are warm and snug as they’re wrapped around your waist.

“My heart has been like this ever since I met you. If I hear your familiar steps, or mentions of you, it truly feels like all my heart and soul wants to do is to be with you.” His words do nothing but bring happy tears to your eyes as your own heart swells up in love for him. You feel him stroke your abdomen, rubbing circles on your skin and you feel so content and in love.

“I regret every day for hurting you. And I regret not being a good man to you.”

“But you are, even if I have said something different from that months ago.” You hastily throw in as you look up at him and you hear Welt chuckle.

“My love, a good man doesn’t hurt the one he loves. Which I did.” He strokes your cheek softly and you shake your head.

“But you made it up to me, have you not? In every words you’ve written to me in your own letters and in every single thing you’ve done for me.” You tell him as you flip your body around. You kneel in front of him as you cup his face.

“You may have hurt me deeply but you gained my forgiveness. You have earned me back, Welt.” You told him, looking into his eyes and Welt’s brown eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe your words.

“Have I, truly?” He sounded so unsure and you flash him a soft smile. Before speaking up once more, you take your seat on his lap by placing each thigh of yours beside each side of his body. Welt looks down at how your body is connected so intimately and he holds onto your waist.

“A man who hasn’t earned me, wouldn’t make my heart race out of its place in my ribcage and have it be held in your hands to be kept safe.“ Welt’s eyes flicker all over your face and he sees such a genuine smile on your face and his grip on your waist tightens.

“If you haven’t earned me, I wouldn’t have loved you even during the times you did everything to gain my forgiveness.” You see how his eyes wells up in tears and you can’t help the giggle that escapes your mouth.

“I knew you could be this endearing ever since I saw you enter the lounge room when we first met each other.” You stroke his cheek with your thumb and Welt chuckles lightly.

“What I didn’t know is that I would have fallen for the same man who blushes at the mere presence of me and whose heart escapes his chest every time when I’m in proximity or mentioned.” You confess to him and tears fall down Welt’s eyes.

“I’m sorry for all I did.” He shakes his head, his voice quavering and you lightly shake yours. “I know you are.” You softly tell him.

“I love you endlessly.” His grip on your waist is hardening and your own eyes wells up in tears at the raw emotion and the pure love you feel emitting from Welt. “I love you, Welt.” His tear stricken eyes and face stills before he pulls your body in closer and rubs his face in your bare chest, his hands grazing up and down your bare back, squeezing you here and then.

“Every moment of my day is spent thinking of you, not a day goes by where I don’t wanna see your beautiful face or hear your voice. Not a day in this world is there a moment I don’t love you.” He leans away and holds your neck gently, gazing into your eyes and you lightly bite down on your lips at the intense stare of his eyes and how much love you can see in them. All of it feels overwhelmingly good.

“I may be a king of this kingdom and to the people, but I am yours.” He articulated so firmly, you didn’t know what else to do but just softly nod your head as you softly suck in your bottom lip and Welt’s eyes flickers down to your lips. He subconsciously leans in and you do as well but your mouths just brushes against each other. It’s as if this could be the first time you feel each other's lips upon each other.

“Can I kiss you?” His whisper was quiet but you heard it. A soft chuckle leaves your lips before you nod your head. “Yes.” You mumble out before he presses his lips on yours.

It felt like you could finally breathe, so you breathe into the kiss before kissing Welt back. If he didn’t verbally confess his love, this would be it. Your lips a tangled mess, all you could do is kiss and kiss, flutter your hands down his chest and feel his bare skin.

Greedy and needing more and more, Welt gently squeezes your neck as you softly moan into the kiss before he tilts your head to deepen the kiss deeper than ever. Your hands reach up tug on his hair and pull his head back, to meet his lips in a needier kiss.

Welt’s hand flutters down your body and your body flutters in ecstasy at his touch, even his touches are overwhelmed with love. You’re soft and warm everywhere as his own body is firm and hardened against yours.

With a firmer tug to his hair, Welt groans into the kiss and you take the chance to nibble and suck on his tongue and drew a guttural sound from him as you continued down to nibble on his lower lip. Your lips wander down to his jaw, pressing kisses and emitting sounds from Welt you’d imagine about. Your lips wander further down to his neck, at a certain spot, it had Welt squirming from below you and you decided to give that one place more attention. Attention by sucking before lightly biting down, extracting a breathy moan from his mouth.

About to continue, you felt Welt wrap his hands around your neck before he leaned your head away. You let out a soft whine before you got shut up by a rough kiss, you moan into his mouth before a gasp draws out from you when you feel Welt’s hand on your backside.

“Marking me like that, my love, I could have come from that alone when I’d rather do that inside of you.” This was his first mention of coming inside you and you felt your heat squeeze down on nothing.

“Coming inside just to fill me up or to make me with child?” And his hips bucks into your cunt from below and you moan at the friction you felt.

“Careful, I did also say I wanna enjoy our time as two for a while.” He says against your mouth and a soft whimper is heard from you before you nod your head. So it’s just to fill you up, you think to yourself, your entire body feels like it’s on something else than just ecstasy. It feels like an addiction.

And to Welt, you are an addiction. The way your body responds to him, the way only he can make such sweet sounds emit from your soft lips and the way he’s the only one to have you. You might not have said it yourself, but while Welt is yours, you are wholeheartedly his.

It is an obsession.

—

The Duke and Duchess of Stellaron were met with their king and queen at their doorstep, without guards and footmen. They were holding hands and the king had a reddish color to his cheeks. And the queen’s smile was so big, you’d wonder if her cheeks hurt. The happiness was immense if you looked at the two.

Apparently you and Welt decided to do a little runaway from the country mansion, have a little time for you two without your staff. The duke and the duchess couldn’t hold back their laughter when you told them of how you managed to be alone without your staff.

To be with these two, you’re glad you found a friendship in them.

You were walking side by side with the duchess, arms linked together as her husband and yours walked in front of you, chatting away about something.

“You look happy, my queen.” The duchess softly says and you look at her with a smile.

“I am happy.” You assure her and she smiles back at you.

“I’ve always felt your smile wasn’t wholeheartedly real just a week ago. I suspect the king is the reason behind your smile right now.” You giggle at the duchess's words before nodding your head.

“We had a long year and to have mended our relationship, it has lightened my shoulders. And I also have you to thank for it.” The duchess stills in surprise, you know she’s gonna ask what she could have possibly done to make it better. So you speak before she could.

“My husband told me of how you suggested that he shall talk to me, not just apologize. While my husband may be a wise king, as a man I doubt he’d think of that solution.” You chuckle at your own words and the duchess tries to hold back her laugh. But in the end, she stops you two from walking and takes your hand in a soft grasp.

“I’m truly happy to see my dear friend and my queen, to be so happy. And I’m glad a simple solution of mine has made your relationship with the king better.” You softly thank her once more and as you’re about to continue your walk with the duchess, your husband approaches you.

“My love, our guards have found us.” Welt says as he points behind him and you giggle. He looks almost defeated to have his escapade with you ended so quickly. And his talk with the duke, whose company he’s grown to enjoy. And have possibly found a friendship in.

“I think it’s time for us to go home, Welt.” You tell him as Welt takes your hand in his and he sighs, agreeing much with your words.

—

The staff at the royal mansion in the Kingdom of Astral have never seen their king and queen this happy. While Welt always takes your hand as he helps you down the carriage, you two immediately went to your own routines when entering the mansion, but this time, you two are engaged in a handhold.

The floor your bedchamber and Welt is at, has become different as well. It was well known that the king and queen never shared a bedchamber but to see you two enter one bedchamber together and share it, the staff couldn’t help but feel only happiness for you two.

“Do you think the servants find it uncommon for us to share a bedchamber now?” You ask Welt from your chaise as you comb your hair. He’s taking off his robe, revealing his toned and firm upper body. Disappointingly, he kept his pants on.

“I can imagine it’s an unusual sight for them.” He replies as you nod in agreement. Welt comes up behind you. He takes the comb in your hand and brushes your hair for you.

“This is our first night together in this bedchamber.” You hear Welt say and your heart flutters. A year ago, you started having separate bedchambers and now a year later, you’re sharing one.

“I can go to the other one if you want to.” You tease Welt but he doesn't seem to catch on, so he stops brushing your hair and stills in shock. You see his reaction from the mirror of your dresser. You turn around and you laugh, Welt’s eyes widened as he catches on. He falls down on his knees, burying his face on your lap.

“Oh aeons, you frightened me.” He breathes out in relief as you giggle. You run your fingers through his brown hair. “I don’t think I can’t go a day without sleeping in the same bed as you.” You hear Welt huff out and you giggle once more.

“Then you shall never hurt me, nor I you.” You say as Welt looks up. He holds your waist and kneels in between your thighs. As tall he is, he is still taller as he kneels in front of you. He nods his head firmly.

“I vow to never hurt you, I promise you that.” You smile at him as you nod your head. “I know you do.” You assure him.

“And if you hurt me, I possibly deserved it.” You lightly swat his chest at his words as he grins at you. Then he stands up as he grabs your hand. He pulls you to the bed. You get in the covers as Welt does it as well. Not a second passed by when your head touched the pillow, Welt’s arms are wrapped around you and your body is plush against his chest.

You place your forehead on his bare shoulder, breathing in his scent by the V of his neck. He smells so good. You didn’t miss the touch of Welt pressing a loving kiss on the top of your head.

“I love you.” He utters softly as he cranes his head down to brush his lips against your mouth. You smile softly, rubbing your lips against his. “I know you do.” You mutter back. And Welt knows you love him back.

—

pervert welt gets me going whouhfffffff

Also if you read till the end, thank you so much! i hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing this >< leave a like and reblog if you did, would be so much appreciated mwah

#honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail scenarios #honkai star rail welt #welt yang #welt yang imagines #welt yang scenarios #hsr welt #hsr imagines #hsr scenarios #hsr smut #honkai star rail smut #welt yang smut #welt yang x reader #welt smut #welt x reader #hsr x reader #welt hsr #welt honkai star rail

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baeshijima · 2 months ago

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— the weight of a sinner

to bear a sin is a result of consequence, but to bear a sin with no relation to you is an inescapable burden — a means to have a scapegoat and someone to hold accountable. unfortunately, you're one of the very few who seem to think as such.

CONTAINS : gn!reader, 3k wc, angst(y-ish), bittersweet, some lightheartedness in there... somewhere, shackling prison/pre-banishment dan heng, mentions of high-cloud quintet, relationship w/ dan feng left ambiguous (but implied dan feng x reader)

A/N : dan heng and reader face inner turmoil just as i do when facing any minor or major inconvenience. (the dan f/heng animated short was looped while i was writing this...)

Your time within the lifeless prison is limited. Lest you want to be caught red-handed by the stationed prison guards or, worse yet, Jing Yuan for trespassing, you ought to hurry. (You have an inkling he is well-aware of your routinely visits, but you choose to ignore the thought. It makes pretending to be none the wiser a little easier when you’re with him.)

Well, that much is easier said than done.

Shooing away unnecessary thoughts, you continue your way down towards the depths of The Shackling Prison. Blending into the surrounding darkness, you wait as patrolling guards pass by, watching their receding figures with calm eyes. As always, the security towards the bottom of this dreary place is tighter. It’s understandable, really, when taking into consideration who they have held captive.

Eventually, you come to a stop. You take in the familiarity of the surroundings, of the damp smell, of the hollow drips echoing within the walls, of the eerie isolation which encroaches on you.

Several guards hover in front of the cell. A quiet sigh escapes you, though it doesn’t come as a surprise. With the fluidity it takes for you to knock out the guards in one swift movement, one would think the act to be like that of muscle memory. It’s not all that far off when considering just how many times you have done this, on top of your past merits as a Cloud Knight. Now left without any potential risks, you step out from the dreary shadows and make your way through the bars and into the chamber.

Laboured breaths; beads of sweat; a harsh crease between his brows; clothing torn and sullied. No matter how many times you see him in such a state, your heart lurches for him all the same.

With quick, light steps you draw closer. Features you are all too familiar with become clearer in spite of the dingy lighting, but your attention is more focused on the dark, murky wisp festering his soul.

“Those blasted Elders,” you mutter to yourself as you take in the young man’s haggard appearance. “Just what poison have they deceived him with this time…”

His body hangs limp against the metal restraints, ragged breaths wracking his worn body as his expression contorts into one of pain. Dark spots flicker ominously when your eyes skim his body. The burden wrought as a result of the Preceptors’ influence must weigh heavily on his mind if his soul is this contaminated to such an extent. (You dread to think of the lies they’ve been spewing to him about Dan Feng for him to be in this state of conflict.)

Your gaze stops at one particular point, its shadow more concentrated compared to the rest. “They made his soul murkier than it was just a few days ago!” And he’s sustained more bruises than before…

Immediately, your hands hover over his chest. A dim glow distorts the matted appearance of his skin, its shallow light allowing for you to get a closer look at the injuries he has sustained since your last visit. Eyes narrowed at a particularly concerning spot, you’re loath to believe the Elders have even a smidge of humanity left within them — assuming they even had any to begin with, that is.

Amidst your hushed curses towards the Vidyadhara Preceptors, a low groan resounds from in front. The once slack figure writhes against the chains, hissing at the uncomfortable friction the metal must no doubt be causing to his raw skin. You are about to move your attention to his wrists to help alleviate the pain until a flash of colour appears in your peripherals. You blink once, twice. Tilting your head up, you find yourself gazing into an unmistakably striking pair of teal eyes akin to that of the viridescent horns atop his head, the crimson which rests under his eyes and woven into a portion of his hair standing out despite the gloomy environment.

The faint clanging of metal brings you out of your daze. Oh. Right. He regained consciousness.

…Oops.

“You… What did you do?” His voice is hoarse — raspy. There is a slight edge in the gaze he regards you with, a precautionary means of defence. You can’t say you’re all that surprised. Rather, it makes you glad he remains on guard even though he has seen you a fair share of times.

Pausing the usage of your abilities, you cast your full attention onto him as you engage in this rare conversation. “I’m simply here to tend to your injuries and alleviate some of the burden weighing you down.”

(You’re not lying, per se, but you opt to omit the part wherein this selfishness within you merely wishes to save what you failed to before; an unnecessary burden you carry on behalf of someone long gone.)

“Thank you, but why go out of your way to help a sinner? You receive no benefit from this.”

A bitter smile stretches your lips at his words. A striking familiarity seeps within his tone, yet you’re no fool to mistake the man in front of you for someone who no longer walks the path of the living. You’re not like the rest of them who are stuck in the past.

“No one deserves to be shackled by past burdens. I hope that, one day, you can break free from the shadows of the past and live the way you desire. This is your life. No one has the right to dictate what you can and cannot do…” Your fists clench, eyes narrowing into a glare towards the ground. The next words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. “Not even those Elders have the right to do so.”

Silence follows your words. You take that as your cue to resume tending to him; he lets you.

Thinking back, he seems far more relaxed compared to when he was awake during your first couple of visits. He would shrink in on himself when you tried to cross a certain distance, his tail flicking anxiously in response as he regarded you with trembling yet hostile eyes. It’s a stark difference to how he is now. For one, his tail isn’t even out, having retreated when he came to realise you weren’t a threat nor were you going to harm him. He isn’t tense in your presence either, merely watching you do what you came here for with calm, slow blinks.

“Alright, all done here!” Leaning back with a huff, you bring a tentative hand to wipe away at the beads of sweat accumulating atop your forehead. There seemed to be more work than your previous cleanses, but you find the extra effort to be worth it when not even a speck of that murky contamination is left within him. Pride swells within you at your handy work. Haven’t lost my touch just yet!

Now with no reason to stay, you make a move to stand when a quiet murmur halts your movements.

“...You’re not calling me by that name.” When you give him an inquisitive look, he elaborates, “Dan Feng. You don’t call me by that name.”

That name roots you in place. Your mouth runs dry when his name is uttered in that voice, breathed out by that unnervingly similar face, senses growing dull as an all too familiar ache weighs down on your heart.

Your gaze drops momentarily before meeting with his own one — one riddled with confusion and a hunger for answers. “Because you’re not him. You are not Dan Feng, you are you.”

In spite of what all those Preceptors keep trying to hammer on about, how the Vidyadhara High Elder Dan Feng still lives and must face the consequences of his sins, how they have not diminished in power and influence, you find yourself to be one of the few who abstain from such beliefs. How could you not when you were someone privy to his private life, to his wants and hopes, his fears and worries, his dreams for a better future when all was said and done amidst your roles in history.

As such, you can hold your beliefs with confidence.

Dan Feng is gone. Dan Feng is dead. Dan Feng, despite the haunting similarities which stand before you, is not the one you’ve been looking out for within this seclusion. The incarnation in front of you is not the same man you have spent countless years by the side of, nor is he the one privy to the deepest, most intimate parts of yourself only few know of, just as you were with him.

“And…” You pause for a brief second before standing. His eyes follow your movements in caution, though you can tell your words resonate within him (the previous uncertainty which clung onto him is nowhere to be seen, for one). “I hope this is the last time we meet. For both our sakes.”

You lingering around him like some shadow will do the both of you no good, and you would be no different than all the others who hover around him for his status and power. It’s a decision you have long since come to terms with, one you knew would take place the moment you left your house to come here today.

It’s for the better, you tell yourself as you walk away. With this, perhaps you can finally allow yourself to let go of him and the past—

“Wait…!” There’s a shuffle behind you, the faint clinking of metal, a soft curse and grunt following soon after. Upon turning your head to gaze over your shoulder, you find yourself staring into glowing teal. “Every time I— ugh!” A pained gasp escapes him when he struggles too much against the restraints. Before you can reach out and alleviate his pain he merely shakes his head, signifying he has no need for your power. Not a second later, he continues. “Unlike the other blurred or vivid dreams I have of the previous life, every time I see or think of you my mind is calm. I know little-to-nothing of you, and yet, instinctively, I feel safe in your presence. Who are you?”

His words cause your eyes to widen and your stomach to drop. You weren’t expecting him to have some awareness of Dan Feng’s life and your identity, nor for his eyes to shine so brightly despite there being no light. Your teeth clench; your lips wobble. Someone must have tampered with his rebirth, or else he wouldn’t be able to recall even a single thing. You’ve heard some of the ways in which Dan Feng has been described by the Elders — how he is a criminal, a sinner, a monster, one who brought shame to the Vidyadhara name as the High Elder, and how he as his incarnation is no different.

He won’t be able to live this life as his own without being shadowed by the past. He won’t be able to escape the sins and burdens not meant to be carried by his shoulders. He will forever have the name and consequences wrought by his predecessor follow him instead of his valour and achievements, and the mere thought of it weighs heavy on your heart.

A wince involuntarily makes its way onto your features at the recollection; you don’t dare think about the cruelties they could have sneered into the young man’s ears when he was at his weakest and most susceptible to the brainwashing.

When you gather the courage to face him once more, you remember he asked you a question: “Who are you?” Looking into his eyes, there’s a hidden desperation in his gaze which causes your lips to naturally form the beginning phonemes of your name. But you stop, instead deciding it would be best to omit anything that could potentially implicate you with his previous incarnation. After all, for him to forge a path of his own, the past must remain as just that.

And so, with a light smile, you answer, “I’m just someone who doesn’t wish to see an innocent person bear the sins of their predecessor.”

He doesn’t have the chance to respond. You’re long gone from the confines of his chamber, as though you were never there to begin with, and he is left to stare into the abyssal darkness which has accompanied him throughout the entirety of his life.

The only tell-tale sign of your presence being real is the warmth which spreads through his chest, warding off the dulled pain administered by the Preceptors.

In spite of your earlier words, the shackled Vidyadhara cannot help but to hope your paths cross once more. Whether that be within the tethers of a sinner, or perhaps in the distant future when he’s strong enough to leave his past burdens behind and start anew, he hopes he can talk to you as himself; as Dan Heng.

Maybe then you won’t have that pained look in your eyes when you gaze at him.

There’s a slight trickle of rain when you step foot outside into the Exalting Sanctum. It’s a stark contrast to the suffocating air of a cell, though the resulting chill which follows seems to be a worse trade-off.

You ought to have a word with whoever’s in charge of controlling the weather. Or at least get Jing Yuan to have a word with them. They certainly could have timed this better. What’s done is done, however, as chains of the past already begin to entrap you within its cold tethers.

“Forgive me,” you murmur, gaze upturned and blank as your body steadily becomes drenched in artificial rain. “Even your reincarnation will only know you as an emotionless sinner by word of those Elders.”

You must look terrible like this, soaked to the bone with nothing to cover you. You can picture him reprimanding your carelessness with that worried tone of his, laughing off his nags before he ultimately covers you with an umbrella and brings you back to his abode where a pot of hot tea and spare dry clothing awaits you.

But he’s not here to do all those things once more; nor is there anyone in the vicinity, for that matter. It is simply you, your grief, and your lonesome.

“You’re gone. Baiheng’s gone. Yingxing isn’t here. Neither is Jingliu. There’s only so much more Jing Yuan can try to carry by himself before he cracks. Or maybe he already has but remained stubborn as ever, hiding his burdens like always. And I… I’m just a coward who cannot do anything other than wish for the happier days to come back. I just want us to be happy again...” Warmth trickles down your cheeks, a stinging sensation blooming from within your senses. Abruptly, your voice quietens, barely a whisper. “Is that too much to ask?”

Had it not been for that prophecy of depravity and betrayal… would things be different now? Would everyone still be here drinking under the moonlight, telling stories of one-another (both the embarrassing and the emotional), sharing tears and laughter, sparring and honing one’s skills until muscles cried for rest and reprieve?

If you weren’t a coward back then — if you had just said or even just did something — would this all have been a mere nightmare they would tease you in good nature for?

You laugh, humourless. “Hah. What am I doing? It’s not like you can hear me if I talk to the rain. You would’ve given me an answer years ago if that were the case.”

A bitter taste lingers then, ceasing the rest of your words and instead causing you to choke up.

Inhale, exhale. Through the nose, out the mouth.

Having calmed down, your eyes stray towards the outside of the ship, taking in the bleeding hues of purple and blue distorted by the rain. Motionless, you remain in a trance for a few moments.

“...Remember that plan we talked about before?” you begin once more, voice steady unlike a few moments prior. “The one of all of us travelling planet to planet and exploring life beyond missions and the Luofu? Well, I think it’s about time one of us keeps to our word. I guess I should prepare to say goodbye to Jing Yuan soon.” A half-hearted chuckle escapes you at that. Your eyes close and drop with a sigh, a wry smile stretching the line of your lips. “Do you think he’ll resent me for leaving him as well?”

Silence is your only response, and you come to realise the rain has stopped. When you lift your gaze, the moon shines bright through the lingering mist. It’s almost reminiscent of happier days, when you were young and free, only having to worry about preventing a scuffle between Yingxing and Jing Yuan from breaking out, sometimes sharing a drink with Jingliu as Baiheng chattered away about her day. But most often were nights such as this spent together with Dan Feng, wiling away the nights stargazing and reminiscing missions and basking in one another’s quiet company.

It’s about time I move on, too.

With a swift turn you begin the trek home. For the first time in a long while, you have a goal — a hope and a dream to your name. Your mind recollects the young man’s gaze, how his eyes burned brighter than the sun itself in that one instance. Despite your prior words, a part of you hopes you meet once more when he truly discovers himself; for who he really is as opposed to the ghost which clings to his being.

For someone who can still create such an expression despite those conditions, his future is limitless.

(That night, after having packed your essentials in preparation of heading out the following day and penned a letter for Jing Yuan to read in your disappearance, you had a dream. Through your fragmented recollection, you recalled a woman with a comforting smile; a man wise beyond his years; a familiar, yet unfamiliar, young man who wields a calm aura; a cute girl with boundless energy; a stoic-looking girl with unexpected charm; a rabbit-like creature dressed akin to a conductor; and you… you were happy. Happy in a way you never thought you would be again.

It was a lovely dream.)

if you enjoyed this, then reblogs with/or comments are greatly appreciated !! <33

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x you #dan heng x you #haha imagine in the animated short timeline when dan hengs drowning and u have ur own memory bubble after pom-pom and its just u saying:#“let's go home dan heng” bc now the express is both ur homes and ahahahhhaaha.... ha.... a..... (<- the sound of pain.)#very tempted to write a continuation but in dan heng's pov with how the fic ended...#the way i could easily turn this into a series... high-cloud quintet days leading up to present... blade & jingliu encounters b4 express #honkai star rail imagines #hsr imagines #honkai star rail scenarios #hsr scenarios

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sakkiichi · 1 year ago

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NOT IF IT’S YOU.

“I’ll take care of you.”

“It’s rotten work.”

“Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Luka, Seele x gn! reader.

genre/cw: angst to fluff, feelings of not being good enough, mentions of blood & injury, but soft comforting vibes.

✧ JING YUAN

Muffled cries and a darkened room are all the company you wish for tonight.

You messed up.

You utterly and completely fucked up.

Not only were you not able to catch the stellaron hunter, but you also got severely injured.

In your defense, the guy was skilled with that wicked sword of his.

And yet, that doesn’t make you feel any better.

Pressing your hand down your bloody side, you reach home.

And for the first time since you started dating him, you really hope the general is already asleep tonight.

The creaking of the wooden door makes you cringe when you enter the main hall, memorized steps guiding you to the bathroom.

Hopefully you’ll be able to patch yourself up without making too much noise.

A low purr greets you when you reach your destination’s door.

“Shhh, Mimi, please…” you utter, weakly, patting her fur with the hand that’s not soaked in blood. “Be a good girl and keep quiet for me?” The lion purrs again, as if unsatisfied, sensing something’s clearly amiss.

Wincing, you close the bathroom’s door behind yourself, pent up tears blurring your vision as you rummage the cabinets for disinfectant and some bandages.

“And just about what do you think you’re doing?” A familiar baritone sternly asks.

You stop in your tracks, a roll of bandage in your bloodstained hand.

“Jing Yuan…” you meekly manage. “Sorry I woke you up.” You lower the dressings in your grasp, defeated.

“You’re bleeding yourself out and me having woken up is your first concern?” He asks, disbelieving, leaning off the doorframe, walking towards you.

“I’m not bleeding myself out, general.” You respond through gritted teeth, your tone harsher than intended. “It’s just a flesh wound.”

And yet, the pained hiss you let out begs to differ.

“Let me see.” Your lover prompts, placing a calloused hand on your shoulder.

“No!” You pull away from his touch, something you had never done before. “I already told you, it’s just a scratch, it’s not worth worrying over, I’m not worth worrying over...”

“Don’t say that again.”

Jing Yuan’s tone leaves no room for argument, steely as the spear he wields. His usually soft amber eyes are akin to raging embers now, glueing you in place, a gelid chill running down your spine.

“But it’s tr-“

“Don’t. Don’t let me hear it.” The arbiter general cuts off, his voice a contrast to the tenderness with which he takes the stained gauze from you.

And under the warmth of his touch, you let yourself be shielded by the rainfalls of lightning with which he’d struck down any who dared hurt you.

Careful hands remove your sticky shirt, a deep gash criss-crossing your abdomen in ominous shades of crimson. With as much softness as he can muster, your lover applies antiseptic, stinging pinpricks in his wake.

“You shouldn’t be doing this.” You mumble, voice milliseconds away from breaking. “It’s trouble, I’m trouble, I failed the mission and now you have to patch me up and take care of m-“

Slightly parched lips land on yours, ardently, as if wanting to cauterize the raw soreness from your open wound. Jing Yuan’s hands settle on your waist, like stitches putting shards of you back together, your brokenness, a myriad of pieces glued back into a colorful mosaic.

And in his healing hold, you let yourself fall, because you know no matter how small the pieces, by his side, you’ll find a way to solve the puzzle.

“You are never trouble to me.” Is your general’s affirmation when he pulls away, leaving a lingering kiss on your brow as he begins wrapping your gaping wound.

Perhaps this once, you’ll believe it, you think, as the ache dulls and exhaustion starts to take over.

✧ BLADE

The moment you see his weapon fly out of his grasp, all caution is thrown to the wind.

You weren’t used to the sight of him anything but defeating with ease any who dared to cross him.

Yet now, he bleeds.

Staggering to the side, Blade tries to reach for his discarded sword.

To no avail, for he drops to his knees, sickly crimson pooling at his feet.

Whatever cursed fragmentum creature he’s parrying against will land its last strike.

You can’t imagine a world without Blade. Without Ren.

Not like this, not ever.

The next sound in the desolate battlefield is the clang of metal against metal and your strained grunts.

“[Y/n]…” your lover musters, barely any strength left in his usually steely tone. “Go…”

“Like hell I’m leaving you here!” You yell back, your muscles sore from blocking the enemy’s fatal blow. “I’m not abandoning you, Ren!” A lone tear slides from the corner of your eyes, because of the effort or the thought of a world where you don’t get to wake up by Blade’s side, you are not sure.

“[Y/n]… I’m done for.” He coughs.

“Shut up, shut up, shut the hell up!” You scream, now locked in combat with the creature launching their piercing weapons at you.

You manage to dodge a few of its pounces, ducking and parrying as best you can.

But eventually, their chainsaw-like armament grazes your collarbone, your sky shattering cry hurting Blade more than the deadly wounds he bears.

You can’t let this end here.

Mustering strength from aeons know where, you impale your own weapon into the monster’s middle.

Flecks of fiery dust fly around you, before the construct goes up in flames, the image burning in your teary gaze.

“Ren!” You call, running to kneel by his broken form.

“Why?” The stellaron hunter wonders, ebony hair plastered to his face, deep night skies shadowing the underside of his ruby eyes. His bleeding hand reaches to cup the side of your face. “Why did you save me? I’m rotten.”

If it wasn’t because the guy is quite literally holding himself together in tatters, you’d be slapping some sense into him.

Instead, tears stained in yours and his shades of red careen down your cheeks.

“You are not! You never are! And you never will be to me!” You fling your arms around him, holding his weakened body as close to your heartbeat as possible.

Blade never believed in angels, but tonight, you might as well have been one. His savior in a battlefield where he otherwise would have breathed for the last time.

✧ DAN HENG

Night stars and daylight seem to mingle together lately.

Aboard the astral express, you find yourself buried in work. Records from expeditions, blueprints from parts of the train you need to memorize should they need repairing, leads and clues on the whereabouts of the stellaron hunters… the lines of text begin to blur before your tired eyes, eliciting a sigh from your lips.

It might be good to go grab a coffee, you muse.

But looking at the time, you should work for a while longer without distractions, you really could use a breakthrough in the stellaron investigation… Everyone’s working so hard, and the last thing you want is to be dead weight.

As you stretch your arms and attempt to re-focus on your task, three knocks resound through your room’s quiet.

Resignation makes itself apparent on your tone when you ask:

“What is it?”

“It’s just me.” A familiar voice, smooth as a breeze combing through greenery states.

“Dan Heng!” A relaxed smile tugs at your lips, as you get up from your desk to let him in. No matter how many galaxies you transversed, Dan Heng’s presence was always the brightest constellation to you.

Now, it’s not like you can admit your feelings to him, but you’ll enjoy this fond closeness you have now while you can.

“You’re still up?” You prompt, more of a statement than an actual question. “What brings you here?”

“I could ask you the same question.” He deadpans, arms crossed over his chest.

“Work.” You sheepishly say, with a mirthless smile.

“Have you eaten?” The dark haired man questions, the lilt of his tone indicating he is very much aware of how you have indeed not dined.

“Uh… I drank fruit juice and coffee? A while ago?”

Now it’s his turn to sigh in exasperation.

“How many times will it take of me repeating it to you for you to take care?”

“Sorry.” You lower your head. You know your friend is right and you’ve been neglecting yourself, but can you be blamed? The amount of work you took on is hefty, to say the least.

“Since you aren’t doing it yourself, let me take care of you.” His aquamarine eyes pierce through you, but they hold a warm gentleness to them. Every time you get lost in his gaze, you feel like you’re swimming in luminescent lakes under a thousand starry nights.

However, the reverie is short lived.

When you feel his hand around your wrist, pulling you out of your airless room, a shadow of guilt lodges at the back of your mind.

“Dan Heng, I can’t let you do that.” You stop in your tracks, averting your gaze, not allowing yourself the pleasure to dip in the profound waters of his eyes.

“Why not?” The boy’s hold on you slackens a little.

“You have enough work yourself, I can’t burden you anymore…” You mumble the last part, but it doesn’t escape him.

“You’re not a burden.” The wielder of cloud piercer assures you, incisively.

His hold on you tightens a little, his hand descending to find yours.

“But surely you’d prefer spending your time doing something more fun or, I don’t know, useful, at least…”

“No, I wouldn’t.” He responds. His hand squeezes yours in silent reassurance.

You could get used to his touch.

You’d like it very much, actually.

Instead, self-doubt robs you of your voice again tonight.

“Why?” Is the question echoing in between the corridor’s walls.

“Because I like- no, because I love you.” Is Dan Heng’s confession, cheeks matching the maroon of the maple leaves you’ve sometimes studied together.

Loud heartbeats and frenzied euphoria mingle in your chest, your hand squeezing his this time.

“What? Really? No, don’t get me wrong, it’s good- I mean, thank you- I mean, are you sure? Because I’m flattered but- Well, I love you t-“

Your speech is cut short by familiar hands steadying your shoulders. Dan Heng heaves a shaky breath, then:

“I’m going to show you how sure I am.”

A second later, his lips carefully, tentatively, envelop yours. It’s hesitating, and your noses bump a few times, but, to you, it couldn’t be any more perfect.

Your hands find themselves clinging to the front of his shirt, his still poised on your shoulders.

And as you leave fields of stars behind and enter new woods of shining asteroids, you finally let yourself submerge in the pools of jade contained in the mysterious man’s gaze.

Taking a break was certainly worth it, is the thought crossing your mind, as you lean in for another less innocent kiss.

✧ LUKA

“Ouch!”

“Stay still, Luka.”

“But it stings!”

“Oh and the blows you took out there didn’t?”

“But I won, right?”

“You always say that, yet at what cost?”

That is the currently ongoing conversation (or scolding, depending on how you look at it); the same one that repeats every week, after every victory he achieves in the fighting ring.

Because no matter how many times he emerges as victor, Luka always comes back to you beaten up and bruised. Bloody sometimes too, and you can only be grateful for no fractured bones.

You were no healer, but you still remember the first time you saw him fight.

—

It was his first ever combat, against a much bigger opponent.

Luka was smiling when his arm was lifted announcing his victory, and yet, you will never be able to shake off the sight of his concealed flinches every time his chest rose and fell.

His bruised ribs didn’t escape you.

In the same way that you didn’t miss the redhead lingering for a while after the crowd had dissipated.

Those coughs of his naturally wouldn’t let him go too far.

“Hey, are you alright?” You approached him.

“Sure, I’m fine!” The fighter tried to smile, only for it to turn into a fit of coughing that didn’t sound good at all, especially not with how he keeps holding his sides every time his ribcage so much as slightly stirs.

“No, you’re not fine.” You scoffed, arms crossed over your chest. “You have a black eye, your ribs look bruised and you’re limping. How is that being fine, again?”

“I’ll get through it.” He smiled. His blue eyes glinted in the dim light of the venue, akin to patches of clear sky in the soot-filled air of the underworld.

“How exactly? Passing out from pain? Come on, sit down, I’ll patch you up.” You offered, hurrying around the rundown gym, in search for something resembling a first aid kit.

“You don’t need to-“

“No buts.” You stated, leveling him with a gaze, pointing at him with a newly acquired roll of bandages.

—

“You know, you don’t have to waste your time on m-“ he tries to retort now, summer ocean eyes averted, his usual smile replaced by a frown you’re not fond of.

“Luka.” You stop him before he can continue his self deprecation.

“But you could be doing so much bette-“

“I won’t hear it.” You cut off, applying more pressure than needed while disinfecting a cut on his cheekbone. “We’ve already talked about this. You keep getting roughened up on the battlefield, I’ll be here to patch you up. No buts.”

A smile crosses the redhead’s face, the swirling typhoons in his gaze calming down to ripples over a lake. But still, some clouds linger over the surface, no sunlight quite filtering through in harp like beams underwater.

“Don’t you get tired, though?” Luka ventures, hesitation and bashfulness lacing his tone.

“Never when it comes to you.” You assure him, without having to think twice. “And no buts.”

“No buts, huh?” The corner of his lips curves upward, the cheeky smirk you always adored back. “But what if I asked you to kiss it better, would you?” The fiery haired warrior teases.

“Oh, you…” And yet, you can’t hide the wide smile helplessly illuminating your features.

Softly, your lips brush over each of the clean bandages you applied.

And Luka could swear your lips are better than any painkiller.

“There, all healed.” You whisper when you pull away, enchanted by the lights dancing in the sapphire expanse of his stare.

“Not yet.” He breathes, pulling you to him by the hand, your weight falling against his bare chest.

“Luka…” Is all you can muster before he’s kissing you full on the lips, his hands on the small of your back, the softness of his skin and the iron-hardness of metal making your every hair stand on end. You cup his face tenderly, brushing sweaty auburn strands away, as you drown in the colliding waves of his intense tide.

“Now I’m all healed.” Are Luka’s words when he pulls away, dopey smile adorning his bruised face.

You’re definitely never getting tired of this.

✧ SEELE

By moonlight, she waits.

From her vantage point on the rooftop of Goethe Grand Hotel, Seele counts down the seconds for your return.

She’s noticed.

Your leaves in the dead of every night, when you think everyone’s sleeping soundly.

Your returns before dawn, covered in dust and bruises.

The puffiness and redness of your eyes, the shadows under them.

In the starless silence, the butterfly stills her wings, listening to the steps crossing Boulder Town’s plaza.

With a swift motion, the wildfire fighter steps down from her perch, leaning against the hotel’s front wall.

“Good night to you too.” Seele calls.

Your eyes widen in shock. Why is she here now? She wasn’t supposed to see you in such a state.

“Seele! You startled me…” You try for a reassuring smile, as if to say ‘hey, everything’s fine’, but alas, when it came to you, nothing escaped Babochka.

“Cut the act, will you?” She scoffs, a hand resting on her hip. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?”

“Nothing’s going on.” You meekly answer, tone cold and distant.

Your girlfriend’s violet gaze dilates, concern overtaking her frown.

This detached iciness… This isn’t like you at all.

But Seele’s forte were never hugs and promises for better days to come, no. A fighter honed in battles for a mere glass of water, she always knew how to hit you with honesty, a scythe shredding the rainclouds dampening your light.

“So, are you going to keep looking miserable and isolating yourself?” She scoffs. “Be for real, you are barely talking, you leave at ungodly hours every night and you look like you’ve been crying for ages every morning. So are you going to tell me what’s wrong already?”

You heave a breath, the simple action exhausting.

“I just… I don’t feel like I deserve anyone… I’m not a good enough fighter, I’m not smart enough, I don’t really… I’m not proud of my personality and just…” you inhale, the night breeze unbearably frigid, even though the weather’s not even cold. “These nights, I’ve been going into the mines, to try and help, I guess, or to avoid thinking…” your shoulders slump.

Seele sighs, the bite in her tone completely faded, concern and care lingering as the indigo pigments of a butterfly caught in your palm.

“You can talk to me, you know?” She says, softer this time, her hand finding your blistered one from these last days.

“I know, I just… I don’t want to be a bother…”

“You never are, silly.” Your lover flicks your forehead, wrapping strong arms around your trembling form. “You never are.”

Quiet sniffles escape you at her warm embrace.

You had missed this.

You had missed her.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?” Seele utters, barely above a whisper, like a monarch’s flutter.

You nod, wiping the tears that started falling, glinting in your lashes like doomed satellites.

“I love you, never forget that.” Is your partner’s promise, with the moon as witness.

For the first time in weeks, you would fly in the sweetness of dreams tonight. By her side.

2K notes · View notes

kaiijo · 4 months ago

Text

A GATHERING OF CLOUDS — BLADE

content: fem! reader, angst, bittersweet/open ending, generally follows the clouds leave no trace mission but i’ve taken some liberties, spoilers for post-xianzhou arc, reader is one of the ten stonehearts and goes by ‘tourmaline’ notes: this story mission broke my heart

You sigh as you read through the massive file your department head dumped on you. From what you’ve skimmed through, it seems that there’s a problem you’ll have to arbitrate on the planet of Venovia regarding the building of their Quantum Collider. The problem is simple, really, just a matter of the neighboring planet refusing to grant clearance for the collider — did this report really have to go on for over seventy pages?

You’re about to flip to the next page when there’s a knock at your door. “Come in,” you call, eyes darting across the text in front of you.

“Well, you look like you’ve got your work cut out for you,” Topaz says as she walks in, sitting down in the chair in front of you.

You snort, looking up at her. “No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Yan Shilou gave me this yesterday and said a resolution had to be proposed by the end of the week.”

“Three days away, then. Better get on it!”

“I would be working on it now if someone wasn’t distracting me in my office,” you say but your voice lacks any irritation.

Topaz laughs a little, “What? You don’t want me to say bye before I head to Jarilo-VI?”

“Aeons, that’s right! I forgot!” You open up the bottom drawer of your desk and root around, finally feeling your fingers brush against what you’re looking for. You pull it out and hand her the box, wrapped in a cream-colored paper and secured with an orange ribbon.

She opens the gift, finding a pair of dark gloves identical to the ones she usually wears, but you explain, “There’s lined inside. Belobog’s eternal freeze is nothing to joke about.”

“Wow!” She slides them onto her hands and says, “Thank you! They’re so soft inside!”

“It was my pleasure!” You smile at her and you two chat for a little before she gets up to leave. There’s a knock at your door before she can and you beckon the person to enter.

Your assistant shuffles in, apologetically glancing between your mountain of paper and Topaz. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can come back—”

“Don’t worry, I was just about to leave,” Topaz says and she wiggles her fingers at you as a goodbye, disappearing around the corner.

“Mail’s come in.” He hands you a small stack of letters, keeping one in his hand. You motion at it in question and he says, “This one’s odd. There’s no return address or any indication where it came from.”

He leans over to give it to you and you slice it open with a dagger-shaped letter opener. Your assistant eyes it and says, “I always forget to tell you how cool that thing is. It’s so well-made!”

Your finger runs over the grooves of the handle. Even though the metal is cool, you swear you can still feel the warmth of the forge and of the hands who crafted it. You turn it over in your hand and finally manage to reply, “Thank you.”

You know it sounds flat and strained so you instead busy yourself with the letter. There’s no visible ink when you slide it out of the envelope but as you unfold it, the words materialize into a message written in swift, decisive strokes.

It has been a very long while, hasn’t it? I hear you’re going by Tourmaline now. It suits you, as does your high-ranking position in the Talent Motivation Department of the IPC — you always were a mediator. I know you have run off to the farthest corner of the universe to leave behind what has transpired. But in accordance with our old vow, I invite you once again roam our lands of past, drink in celebration and recount our great adventures.

You think your heart has stopped and your eyes examine the words over and over again. You forgot that your assistant is still in the room. He clears his throat hesitantly and asks, “Are you alright, ma’am?”

You suck in a deep breath and plaster a mask of smile on your face as you answer, “Yes, I am fine. You’re dismissed. And thank you for bringing in the mail.”

He casts you another worried look but says no more, nodding and exiting, closing the door behind him with a quiet click. You don’t realize how much you’re trembling until you pick up the note to read it one last time, the thin sheet shaking too.

You scoff as your eyes fall on the final sentence and you scoff. As if vows meant anything to them.

Your stomach churns and there’s a sting behind your eyes that you haven’t felt in years, yet you’re reaching for your phone and reserving a starskiff to the Xianzhou Luofu before you know it.

“I believe that’s checkmate,” you said, grinning triumphantly as Jing Yuan froze, eyes darting across the board, trying to find a way out.

“There’s always a way out,” he huffed, hand hovering over one piece, then another, then another.

You replied, “That’s not how chess works.”

He glowered at you and Jingliu sighed, standing behind Jing Yuan to gaze at the board. “You should have moved your knight here,” she said, pointing at a square. “Then you would have beaten her in three more moves and avoided the capture of the queen.”

Jing Yuan didn’t answer, still surveying the board. Dan Feng rolled his eyes at your friend’s fruitless determination. You laid back, delighting in the light mist of water that sprays from the surrounding waterfalls. You loved Scalegorge Waterscape — it was rare to find somewhere with so much nature in the Alliance. “Wait,” Jing Yuan said and you sighed dramatically. He continued, “What if—”

A low gravelly voice sounded behind you. “Give it up, Jing Yuan, she has bested you again.”

You tilted your head to the source of the voice and smiled again, big and wide, heat sparking through your body when he offered you that signature smirk. Baiheng dashed ahead of him, waving the large bag of food they had picked up. He sat down beside you, long lithe fingers reaching over to brush a stray piece of hair from your face.

“Miss?” You jolt awake with a tight feeling in your chest. Your starskiff driver is turned around in his seat and staring at you. “We’ve arrived.”

“Oh!” You scramble to give him his credits and you climb out, stepping onto the Xianzhou Luofu for the first time in seven centuries.

Central Starskiff Haven is as busy as you remember, bustling with passengers embarking and disembarking from various spacecrafts. Merchants hawk their wares loudly, tourists slowing down to peruse as residents quickly rush past.

You weave in between the crowds, the familiar smells of berrypheasant skewers and songlotus cake making your mouth water. Despite your anxiety, your heart swells as the sights and sounds and smells around you. You begin to make your way towards the next starskiff terminal when you hear footsteps approaching rapidly from behind. You tense, steeling yourself when you feel a hand on your shoulder. A voice breathes out your name in disbelief and your own eyes widen at the familiar sound. You turn around. “Yukong.”

She stares at you, repeating your name once more. A tentative smile appears and she says, “It’s been a while.”

“It has. How have you been?”

“Well, all things considered.” She hesitates and says, “A lot has happened since you left.”

Your stomach churns with guilt and you force out an answer: “You know I had to get away. After everything that happened—”

“Yes, I know.” She cuts you off and you can hear the betrayal leaking into her otherwise stoic tone. She squares her shoulder and asks, “What are you doing back?”

“I…” You debate telling her the whole truth but, perhaps against your better judgment, you don’t. Instead, you say, “I need to meet with Jing Yuan.” It’s not a lie, technically, but Yukong knows you better and from the way her lips purse, you can tell she doesn’t believe you entirely.

“The general is not at the Seat of Divine Foresight at the moment. He’s dealing with matters concerning a prisoner right now.”

“I see.”

Another silence. When Yukong breaks it, you expect her to inquire further but she says, “You don’t have your bow on you.”

It makes you smile slightly. “I do, just not so conspicuously now.” You gesture to an intricate band around your wrist.

“I’m surprised. You never would have parted with it before.”

“Things change.” Your eyes flicker over her and you ask, “Do you remember when I gifted you your first bow?”

It makes her smile a little too. “Yes. It was far too big for me. Baiheng laughed and laughed that day. I still have it.”

“Really?”

“It’s at home, hanging on my wall.”

“I figured you would have disposed of it, given everything…”

She sighs, “I thought about it but I couldn’t part with it. No matter what has transpired over these many years we’ve been estranged, you are still my bow master.” You don’t get a chance to reply before Yukong says, “I have to return to the Palace of Astram.”

“I understand.” You tilt your head up and look at the clear blue sky. Perfect flying weather. You look back at her. “Perhaps we can catch up some other time.”

A pause, then she nods. “I would like that.” Turning on her heel, she moves to leave, but over her shoulder, Yukong says, “Until next time, master.” Then, she melts into the bustling crowd and disappears among them.

With a heavy exhale, you decide to go to Scalegorge Waterscape. You board a starskiff and head for Scalegorge Waterscape. It’s not a long journey at all but it feels interminable. Your heart pounds against your ribcage when you land, the sand soft under your boots as you disembark.

You can see the looming columns in the distance and you push down your nerves as you walk towards them, passing by the statue of your old friend. As you approach, a young boy with a blond ponytail walks past with a group of Cloud Knights flanking a man. The boy eyes you suspiciously and he’s about to question you when the man in custody says, “I presume you’re a part of the reunion.”

You don’t answer, brushing past both swiftly and silently. You see Jing Yuan first, his eyes meeting yours resolutely. He calls your name, voice low. The three others turn to face you and your heart stops.

Jingliu, wearing the same blindfold covering her eyes that she had when she escaped the Xianzhou. Dan Feng, or rather, his reincarnation, gazing at you with a spark of recognition in his eyes as he reaches into the fog of his mind for memories of you.

And him. Yingxing, though, you don’t think he’s going by that name anymore. No, he’s taken on a different moniker, one befitting of the life he now leads. Blade, a Stellaron Hunter, a weapon for the Slave of Destiny.

You force your feet to move, dragging you forward until you stand between Dan Feng — or whatever name he goes by now — and Blade. Jingliu starts to move now, her steps precise, and she stops in the center of your circle. “And so,” she begins, “everyone is present. I never thought the High-Cloud Hexad would be able to gather again in the same place after hundreds of years.”

You watch her intently as she continues, recalling the promise you all made so many centuries ago. No matter what happened, you would all gather together and share a drink. You remember that day with too much clarity, how Baiheng grinned when she suggested it, bright and beaming like the sun. You remember clinking your cups together to toast the vow. Those days feel so distant, so unattainable now.

“How sad that Scalegorge Waterscape remains empty while the world continues to turn. Some of us have been reborn,” — her eyes slide over to Dan Feng’s reincarnation — “while others have been denied death.” Her head pivots towards Blade, addressing him still when she says, “Some have become criminals.”

Then, she faces you. “And others have never stopped running and lost their souls along the way.”

Your hands clench into fists and you bite your tongue to stop from retorting but you know all too well how the IPC is viewed by much of the galaxy. Maybe you hoped that you would be regarded as one of the good ones. Maybe it’s just been denial on your part.

Regardless, Jingliu is as she has always been, her words as sharp and accurate as ever. Your fingers brush over the band around your wrist that contains your bow.

“There are also those,” she says, peering upwards, “who can no longer fulfill their promises. And in the end, our friendship is no more. Soon, I will be shackled and tried. This will be the last you see of me. This is why I sent out the invitations before departing, hoping that everyone would be gathered here for my final farewell.”

Then, she utters the words you have heard time and time again in your sleep, in dreams and nightmares that never seem to end.

“Of six people, three must pay a price.”

She’s still speaking but her voice fades into the back of your mind as the sound of your blood roaring fills your ears. You feel cursed, sometimes, as a long-life species, doomed to live and remember and suffer.

You almost think Baiheng’s fate was the kindest of them all, unburdened of guilt and heartache and memories.

And just as soon as you all gather, Jingliu soon begins to dismiss you. She and Jing Yuan discuss where she will be detained and as they turn to leave, Blade interrupts. Coldly, he says, “Before you leave, you still owe me my due.”

It’s all too clear what he wants. Your stomach drops at his request and finally, you really look at the man who used to be the man you loved. One of his hands is gloved, the other wrapped in bandages. There’s a bandage around his thigh. Another twined at his bicep.

Your heart cracks. How much pain and suffering has he endured? How long has he begged for death and an end, felt the slide of a sword or the bullet of a gun, just to regrow again and return to the same agonizing cycle?

When Jingliu refuses to draw her sword against him without provocation, Blade draws his, an ancient, broken sword you’ve seen countless times when it was brand-new. One that has been shattered and pieced back together over and over again, just as its wielder has been as well.

You hear Jingliu’s dreamy voice float above the clanging of metal. “Their faces still linger before my eyes, like a bygone dream.” As they begin to duel, your head spins and memories you’ve buried deep down in the recesses of your heart and mind break through their confines and seep into your bones.

Baiheng’s loud laugh, ringing up to the stars as you walked the streets of Aurum Alley. Jingliu poured you a cup of tea as you caught up at her home. Jing Yuan fell asleep against your shoulder as you all sat together on a sunny day. Dan Feng’s exasperated voice called for you to slow down.

Jingliu continues: “I thought those joyful days would flow indefinitely before us — like a Xianzhou lifetime.” Blade lunges for her, the tip of his sword skimming close to her face, intentional in its avoidance. Instead, it slices her blindfold and it flutters into the wind.

You entered Yingxing’s workshop in the Artisanship Commission. Swords, daggers, and other weaponry lay around the shop, some cooling in water, fresh from the forge; others hanging on the wall. You found him hunched over his workbench, scowling and grumbling.

You crept with quiet steps to him, tapping his shoulder. Yingxing whirled around furiously, expression softening slightly when he saw you. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“You promised you’d meet up with me an hour ago and when you didn’t show, I figured you’d be here.” You tried to peer at his workbench, but he moved in front of you, broad shoulders blocking your view.

“What’re you working on?”

“Nothing.”

“You were just huffing and puffing, Yingxing. That doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“It’s nothing worth your time,” he replied, standing up to usher you to the door, but he didn’t anticipate your quick reflexes, and you skirted around him.

On the workbench sat a small ring. It was gold, dented and misshapen, so different from Yingxing’s regular work. “Don’t—” he started as you reached for it, turning it over in your fingers.

“Who’s this for?” you asked, stomach turning at the thought of it being for another.

“Nobody.”

You plastered a smirk on your face to hide your simmering jealousy. “Is it for that pretty shopgirl who always gives you an extra berrypheasant skewer for free?”

“No,” he grumbled.

“What about the girl—”

“It’s for you,” he said. “For your birthday next week.”

“Oh!” Your heart swelled and you bit back the grin that threatened to break out. “I’m sorry I ruined the surprise. It’s beautiful, Yingxing.”

“No, it’s not. Discard it. I will make you something better.”

You reeled back from him, cupping the (jewelry) protectively in your hands. “I love it! It’s already perfect!”

“It’s sloppy.”

You frown at him defiantly and slide it on your finger with ease. “It’s perfect.”

“In what way?”

“Because it came from you,” you said. “Because it’s thoughtful and kind and I love it, and I love you.” The minute the words left your mouth, your stomach dropped. It was out in the open now — the feelings you had been dancing around for months. Your unspoken pining finally made tangible with words.

He went still. “You love me?”

You laughed weakly, desperately fighting the anxiety clawing up your throat. “Isn’t it obvious?” When he didn’t reply, you began to say, “Forget I said anything”

“No,” he said. and then with one stride, he closed the gap between the two of you, lips crashing against yours.

Jingliu leaps into the air, sword aimed precisely and lethally. “Yet, dreams…” she says, “...will eventually fade — like clouds from the sky.”

You remembered when you had found out what Dan Feng and Yingxing had done, tampering with the Ambrosial Arbor and committing one of the most grievous of sins. You remembered how it felt like your heart had been ripped out when you heard of their fates, of Dan Feng’s forced reincarnation, Yingxing’s wicked immortality wrought by mara and his banishment. How you had sobbed and screamed and tore apart your shared home with Yingxing before your legs had given out and you sunk to the floor in despair and betrayal and hopelessness.

You left the Xianzhou Alliance soon after, packed up in the middle of a cold, gray night and disappeared. You couldn’t stay, not in the home that reminded you of him or on the fleet that reminded you of them, of everything. You were adrift for a long time before Diamond found you.

You watch as Jingliu drives her sword into Blade’s chest, the force sending him sprawling. She yanked it out of him, no blood spurting from the wound or flecking her blade. He lay there for minutes before jerking, eyes flying open and gasping for air. He sits up then stands quickly, and he says nothing further to her.

As Dan Feng’s reincarnation goes to speak with Jingliu, then Blade, and Jing Yuan (Dan Heng, you hear Jing Yuan call him), you cautiously approach Blade. He’s looking out into the distance of Scalegorge Waterscape but he turns when you stand beside him.

There’s no greeting, not that you expect one. He asks, “What do you go by now?”

“Tourmaline,” you answer.

He just continues to stare at you. Then, Blade’s eyes flick down, settling on your neck. He points at the ring that you wear on a chain around your neck. “This,” he says. “What’s this?”

Your heart aches. He doesn’t remember. Of course, he doesn’t; the mara fragments his mind. You’re sure it’s familiar to him, which is why he’s asking, but like Dan Heng, he does not have all his memories from your former life. “You— Yingxing made it for me.”

“It’s ugly.”

You can’t help but scowl at him and there’s a sense of deja vu as you snap, “No, it’s not.” It’s perfect because it came from you. Because you crafted weapons and armor and things that were meant to be sharp and lethal; you were unused to making something meant for softness and love and you did so anyway for me.

Blade doesn’t react. The breeze passing through rustles his long, dark hair. He’s as handsome as ever and you hate it. You hate this. You hate Jingliu for orchestrating this. You hate yourself for coming. And you hate him, this stranger who wears your beloved Yingxing’s face but will never be the man he once was.

You don’t even realize that there are tears rolling down your cheeks until you feel hands, strong and calloused from years of work the owner of the appendage can only remember in fragments, cup your cheek. His thumbs wipe at your tears but when your eyes meet him, he freezes, eyes widening ever so slightly as if he can’t believe he’s doing it himself, a subconscious instinct driving him. A memory of what was.

You expect him to withdraw swiftly but his hands are slow, fingers skimming your skin gently as if trying to savor the feeling and engrave it on their tips. They reach your chin, falling away. Blade’s arms hang at his sides and he’s still.

Then, he turns away and begins his journey out of Scalegorge Waterscape. He casts one last long look at you over his shoulder, expression unreadable. Something swims in his crimson eyes that you can’t discern. You want to say it’s longing, maybe even something affectionate, but the man you loved is long gone. You can’t read this stranger.

You blink and he’s vanished before your very eyes. It leaves you, Jing Yuan, and Dan Heng alone. Dan Heng says quietly to you, “You were the bow master of the Luofu.”

You offer him a sad smile. “I was.”

“Where are you going from here?” Jing Yuan asks.

“Back to Pier Point,” you respond softly. “I have matters to attend to for the IPC.”

“I see,” Jing Yuan says. “I would invite you to stay but I know it’s a selfish request.”

“Another time, General,” you say. “When I return again, we’ll meet up once more.” You address Dan Heng: “And you?”

“I’ll return to the Astral Express.”

“Ah,” you say wistfully, “a Trailblazer. It suits you.”

He gives you a nod and a small smile, and you say, “Goodbye, Jing Yuan. Goodbye, Dan Heng.”

You make your way back to the starskiff, still dutifully parked where you left it. As you climb inside, one last lingering memory drifts into your mind.

“When I die,” Yingxing said as he held you close, curled around you protectively, “promise you won’t forget me?”

“Why are you talking about this, my love? Planning on dying anytime soon?”

“It is something to consider. I am not a long-life species. So promise me when I am gone, you won’t forget me.”

You gaze up at him, “As if I could ever forget about you.”

You massage your temples. This Quantum Collider nonsense is more of a headache than you anticipated. “Mail’s in!” Your assistant waves a stack of envelopes at you, placing them on your desk before taking his leave.

You sift through the pile — bills, forms you had to sign, scam letters about an overdue warranty…

You pick out one envelope in particular. It’s red among a sea of white and you slice it open with your letter opener. The note you pull out only has a few words on it: a time and a place. There is no sign-off or official signature. All that is at the bottom was the Xianzhou character for the word ‘blade.’

#honkai: star rail x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #blade x reader #yingxing x reader #honkai star rail scenarios #honkai star rail imagines #hsr scenarios #hsr imagines

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archived-daydreams · 2 years ago

Text

— First love, late spring.

Summary: what does it feel like, to fall in love with them?

Characters: Jing Yuan, Dan Heng, Gepard, Kafka, Bronya, Serval, Asta x gender neutral reader.

Word count: 1.2 k.

Tags: fluff.

Author’s note: my debut writing for Honkai Star Rail ! I know Jing Yuan hasn’t been released yet, so his part is just personal interpretation; all in all, these are just some sort of little headcanons I wanted to try imagining and writing down, I hope you enjoy <3

Reblog to support your favorite authors ! It helps more than likes.

JING YUAN

Falling in love with the Cloud Knight general feels like returning to a home you still hadn’t realized how much you’d longed for.

His calm presence draws you in, a melodious and crackling hearth beckoning you forward in shades of gold and skies at sundown. To stand beside him could be compared to entering a secret forest, where the moon rises as she kisses the dipping sun on the cheek as they meet at dusk. Birds chirp happily, as if revealing the songs your heart likes to play when you are with Jing Yuan, the heat in your cheeks, a manifestation of the firework embers lighting up the starry twilight. The general puts his arm around your shoulders, bringing your form closer to his, fluffy argent hair tickling the side of your neck.

You lean into him, the sunset looks a little brighter when your lover’s lips graze your temple.

And when his big calloused hand intertwines its fingers with yours, you know with him, anywhere is paradise.

DAN HENG

Scarlet maple forests feel more magical underneath the stars.

In the same way, pieces of every story and memory that constitute the wielder of Cloud-Piercer take form before your eyes as you make your way starwards.

Not one for many words or idle conversation, Dan Heng shows you the emotions he conceals to the public in small actions, starlit fragments only the one who dares to rummage between the layers of crimson leaves will uncover. Shielding you from unexpected enemies, helping you up and down the platform of the express, throwing a blanket over your shoulders when you inevitably pass out on the couch after running around with March… And when, still halfway into your realm of dreams, you call his name, a keen eye may spot on the express gurad’s cheeks some of the carmine usually adrift in the breeze in the autumn months.

Then again, if could be just your sleepy imagination…

Perhaps. is the lingering “what if” echoing on your mind.

GEPARD

The steady rock amidst a tumultuous ocean, relentless waves colliding against its silvery surface, time and time again.

Yet the rock does not yield.

Much in the same way the captain of the Silvermane Guards is your white-hot anchor in the blizzard.

No matter how hurt you are, Gepard stays.

No matter how drained and wasted your last breakup left you, his strong arms embrace you, the biting gales futile against his hold.

And maybe, taking notice of your own (and his) feelings might take you a while.

But Gepard Landau’s heart only knows loyalty.

So he waits.

For you to realize, for the sun to finally shine, and mark the path from you to him.

Because argent tends to reflect the skies, and only when the morning star deigns to shine, can the cobblestones tying you together gleam.

You take a step, and you know Gepard Landau is your only destination.

KAFKA

Exhilarating and with “danger” spelled in boldened capitals, that is how romance with the Stellaron’s Hunter feels.

The rational part of you warned you this was a bad idea, yet, as they say, sometimes, the heart wants what it wants.

Freedom prevailed that night, and your lips met the Interastral Peace Corporation’s most wanted’s.

It could have been the drinks you had, against your better judgment, the sweet intoxication of the alcohol in your system and of the temptation of her, a ticking bomb combination.

But caution is thrown to the wind the moment Kafka wraps her priced coat around your shoulders, her lips sensually whispering in your ear, promises of a million idyllic tomorrows together already tangling in the messy yarn ball of your mind.

But who are you to refuse? Or how could anyone, for that matter? When her painted lips envelop yours under the infinity of the firmament?

BRONYA

Dignified, smart, and the picture perfect image of what a heir should be like.

However, what is hidden beyond that icy facade of flawless poise?

Your sweet lover, a girl who enjoys the sound of tranquil nights and hurried steps by morning, someone who lets herself daydream to the faint music coming from Golden Theater.

A beautiful and enchanting contradiction, a storm of opposites you can’t help but get lost in, from the pretty curls of her lucent hair, to her determined gunmetal gaze.

Who would have thought, you think with a tender smile, as your hands run through her steel moonlit tresses, that you’d get to win the heart of the Heir to the Supreme Guardian of Belebog?

Leaving a soft kiss to the crown of her head, you lay down beside her in bed. With a last look out the window at the slate sky, you close your eyes.

The lyrics to a ballad swirl in your mind, probably coming from Golden Theater.

In the dim light, you find your girlfriend’s hand.

That night, Bronya Rand would be the actress in your oneiric plane, her heart, yours alone.

SERVAL

Electrifying and magnetizing, akin to a violet horizon right before a storm. The thunder in the distance makes your every hair stand on end, yet you can’t help longing for something more.

Afternoons helping Serval out at Neverwinter Workshop always end with you sitting before her, wide smile aglow on your features as she picks up her electric guitar. You always loved the way her sapphire eyes sparkled when she talked about this or that new song she was composing, but actually getting to see her perform for you alone… that’s enough to get you giddy.

Her painted nails strum the cords with ease, each of them bending at the workshop owner’s will, as lightning seems to take command of your heart, its thundering pace and the melody she plays seamlessly dancing to the beat of a fervent tango.

As the sky throws its indigo shawl over the lovers, the blonde gazes at you, a pretty (and unusual) rosy tone on her cheeks, a silent inquire for your thoughts about her new piece.

After all, you’re always the first one to hear every new song she comes up with.

ASTA

The girl who used to dream of naming stars after herself finally found a star that will always orbit around the fiery sun she is.

Her crystalline eyes look up from the papers she was sorting out until moments ago, her lips curving up in a crescent not unlike the one she used to observe, when she spots you.

Two cups of coffee in hand, you sit beside her, your head leaning on her shoulder. Your hand catches hers over the table, prompting her to stop the frantic scribbling of her pen.

And the instant her opalescent gaze meets yours, she is breathless, a nebula the color of her hair spreading through her cheeks. Her pen falls out of her grasp, the words she never seems at a loss for, failing her.

As they do every time when it comes to you.

But who could blame her? When she’d trade every galaxy and celestial body in this universe and the next for a millisecond next to you?

The lead researcher of Herta Space Station closes her notepad.

For now, work can wait.

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angelismmm · 2 years ago

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omg can i req x-rated: the queen, blade with 7 and 10(?) its fine if u can only do one of those 👍👍 take as much time as u need to write huhu 🫶🫶

— i deleted my progress on this like 5 times, thne i went to sleep HELP

☆ warnings. nsfw, sex, all that stuff, fluff and smut at the same time, breeding kink (always n forever), bdsm, hickeys, choking

You look so adorable with my hands around your neck. You know we're more than just friends with benefits, you know that. — headcannons on blade being into bdsm ig idk

definitely likes to choke you during sex. the bruise it leaves when he lets go turns him on, like super on. it's not like he wants you to get hurt, but when he sees the bruises or marks he put on you and you can't help but just take it all in makes him feel so good.

probably you both got on the stellaron hunter business together, meeting either as kids and been with each other since or, well, meeting in early adulthood. I doubt that he went to college or what, but he probably just met you at work too. then you both worked it up from there

had an insanely hard amount of time trying to get to know you as a person honestly, and while on a mission, you both just got so tired of competing with each other in silence, why not work together?

basically you guys had hate sex for no reason, that's it, and no one else but you two know about it. the way he breeds your hole should only be to his knowing. and that's how he's done it. but slowly he's started to be more publicly affectionate, and almost barking at anyone that flirted with you.

he just.. wants people to know you are not up for dating of any kind. but it's not like you guys were the one dating.. right?

jealous asf when he sees someone else makes you laugh, and fucks his frutration out on you when you both are in private.

but he knows you don't like it either when he's acting up with someone else, only you should make him feel like that, and letting him work so easily in and out of your hole is a good way to say you're mine!

he loves choking, like seeing you in pain isn't really what he prefers, but when he's the reason to cause that pain, and hearing your little whimpers when they're touched or what? damn!! do you wanna see mini carbon copies of him or what???

likes to see when someone notices the bruises around your neck from last night, because you were just so adorable with his hands around your pretty neck!

you both actually liked each other, but treated each other like just another one night stand, like no ❌❌ dont say that ❌❌ like you bth are in denial till he gotta say somthimg ☹️‼️

during sex, probably after filling up your hole w his warm cum n stuff, he'll finally say; "we are more than just friends with benefits, you know that."

and indeed you do, you both start going officially out together, starting at a little coffee shop. somewhere far and away from everything else.

as he worked so sloppily and messily in and out of your hole, he couldn't help but utter the words "we're more than just friends with benefits, you know that." your eager nods were enough for him to finally finish, feeling all his warming cum shoot up inside you. slowly you felt his cock go soft inside you, looking back to his gaze, "gotta make sure it sticks, babe."

im mentally ill 😘😘😘‼️

⟢ ⁺ ﹒ ₊ TAGLiST ◌ !!

@edit-me-prettyplease @reveihehe @hyuga-nhi @red-kh @arseniiiarso @h4wkz @rinn31 @ablondehoe @chaik1 @pianopuppygirl @lupicalbestwolf @usagiagastopia @venniin @himeru-soulmate @whirlingfish @yanqingisim @expressodepressogetoffmyproperty @wasurerarerukara @yanfeimainsstuff @sayonara3939 @stygianoir

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particular-one · 1 year ago

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my heart won’t start anymore.

pairing. dan heng x gn!reader cw. hurt/no comfort, implied relationship between reader and dan heng, falling out of love (or is it), heavy angst that is carlyle's brand™ author's note. i say i love dan heng then subject him to my heaviest angst ideas. teehee, whoops. is anyone still surprised that i wrote yet another fic to a taylor swift song? listen to you're losing me for maximum enjoyment. ❤️‍🩹

dan heng would have to be the luckiest man alive to have known someone like you and simultaneously, the most foolish man alive to let you slip through his fingers.

dan heng did not know where to begin when it came to describing you. to merely think he was lucky enough to call someone like you his was an understatement; you were perfect for him in every way possible, that it baffles him just how he's with you.

the way your eyes sparkled at the mention of stars, your favorite subject, before dan heng listened for the millionth time to your lighthearted ramble of where the stars came from. the way your laugh echoed melodiously in his head when he made a small but harmless mistake, how he would frown a little in shame but your toothy grin would make him forget his initial embarrassment. the way your head rested on his chest, humming to a childhood lullaby that would always have the same effect on his heart — to grow bigger in affection and adoration for you.

and you made him a better person, better than he ever thought he could be. dan heng had always carried the burden of his past reincarnation's sins on his back, but your presence always made the weight seem lighter. a glimpse of you was a glimpse of a life that he could live without guilt. and he wanted to make sure that he was worthy of it. worthy of you.

in short, dan heng found the perfect lifelong partner in you, end of story.

which ... just made your words pierce deeper than a knife to his heart.

"i think we should stop."

dan heng was too deep in his thoughts that he had not realized that he crumpled the paper flower bouquet in his hand. he was supposed to hand this to you the moment he stepped inside your room; march had teased him on the amount of dedication he put in perfecting his craft — according to the archives he has read, they called it the art of origami — but dan heng found himself smiling the entire process. secretly, he thought of it like his practice of building a life with you; handling the paper with subtle gentleness and care, folding it neatly to avoid any creases, before constructing a foundation for the camellia flower, your favorite flower.

what a joke this all seems to be now.

what was going on? where did he do wrong? why were you doing this? dan heng tried to remember if he had forgotten anything important. was it the time that he brushed you aside because he was engrossed in the mission? was it because dan heng constantly locked himself in the archives all by himself, that you grew tired of that?

".... stop what?"

you looked up at him, your stormy eyes brimming with tears that you were still trying to hold back. even when you were crying and breaking his heart, dan heng could not help but think how captivating you still looked. "you know what i mean."

why? "why?"

from his perspective, he could already see how much you were struggling to say it. you were shaking your head as your body was trying to hold in the biggest sob. it took everything in dan heng not to run to you and hold you in his arms, but what are the chances that you'd end up pushing him away? your words were evidence enough that you did not need his grasp right now.

"i just... i just don't see a future with you in it."

well, that hurt. that hurt more than the days that his other self wasted away in the shackling prison, mind swimming in terror and confusion as to why he was restrained the moment he was born. that hurt more than the time he sustained his deepest injury, because you were the one who ended up patching it up for him, all the while chastising him for being too reckless again. he won't have that anymore.

"why?" it was a repeat of his former question, but dan heng could hear his voice breaking as he repeated himself. moments ago, he was just dreaming about spending the rest of his life with you. to be able to wake up with you next to him and be the first to see the satisfied smile on your face. to stay by your side until the day you inevitably passed on before him.

and now, you were asking him to let that all go?

despite his initial reflections, dan heng took a step towards you, to which he was greeted with you stepping backwards, a sight that sank his heart even deeper. "but i love you." dan heng started, his heart soaring when he saw that his words still elicited a reaction from you. at this point, he was just grasping at non-existent straws that would bring you back to your senses. back to him. "we can figure a way—"

"dan heng." he stopped at his name, before slowly looking up to meet your gaze. your eyes were clouded with pain, sorrow, but most importantly, it was devoid of the warmth that dan heng sought solace in.

"i... i don't know if i can do this anymore."

you were no longer facing him, your back shaking in muffled sobs as dan heng stood there, as he watched you push him away for the first and last time. the feeling of the crumpled paper flower on his palm left nothing but a sour taste in his mouth. to think that he was so excited to see you.

"you're giving up then? on us?"

his voice came out hollow, his once forlorn expression twisting in incredulity and subtle frustration. to think that he was so excited to make things finally official between the both of you. he was finally ready to settle down and become the better man— no, the best man for you. could you not see how hard he worked to deserve you?

how cruel were you, really?

you didn't turn around to face him, but your silence told him everything he needed to know. it took everything in him to stifle the urge to let out a bitter laugh. how could he be so foolish? who would love someone as stoic, risk-taking and tactless as him, anyways?

"i didn't take you for a quitter, y/n. but i guess we're learning something new about each other right now." he spat out, which earned a turn from you. dan heng could see the hurt in your eyes. it annoyed him that even when you're hurting him, it still pained him to see you in distress. it took everything in him to reel back and stop himself. "so this is it; this is how all... this ends." he refused to let this flurry of emotions overwhelm him, as dan heng took one step closer towards you, and to his surprise, you stood, feet firmly planted on the ground. well, what does that matter now.

he was now towering over you, his eyes never leaving your figure and now was looking down at you. a part of him begged him to not say anything else, to leave with his dignity and his head up high. even if they weren't ... partners anymore, he could still try salvaging a friendship. and yet, his emotions took full control of himself at that moment. "i can't believe i even thought you were the one for me, but i guess i would probably outlive you, anyways. "

he could have sworn he heard your breath hitch as your eyes betrayed everything you were feeling at the time. a mix of grief, sadness and surprise at his words, no doubt. however, it was a fleeting sight that only slipped into another unreadable expression. "leave. please... just leave."

typically, dan heng would be able to tolerate the silence between the both of you, but that was because he could lose himself in your gaze. not now, though. his hand crumpled the paper flower even further before he threw it at the ground. dan heng took one last look at you, a small hope resurfacing that you would take everything back, that you were simply saying it in jest — but there was nothing.

he allowed his anger to overtake him and close the door behind him with a loud slam, huffing in mixed grief and anger and leaving your room for the last time. even when you were no longer looking, dan heng still refused to let that flurry of emotions overwhelm him. he shouldn't cry over someone who gave up on him as easily as that.

if he had lingered for a moment longer, he would have probably heard you breaking down in the loudest sobs on the other side of the door.

━━━━━━━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━━━━━━━

it had been three months since you left the astral express. three months since dan heng closed the door to the possibility that he would spend the rest of his long, long life with you.

three months since he hurled all those hurtful words towards you, which he has regretted since then. but his stupid ego would not let him utter a single apology to you the following morning.

it didn't take long for you to pack your bags and leave, which dan heng actually found relieving. the more he didn't see you and mourn over what could have been, the better.

still, it had been three months. dan heng would be a liar if he said that you did not cross his mind once. well, maybe more than once. maybe a million times since you left. he hated how you still had a hold on him, hated how your voice would be the last thing he's reminded of before he drifts to sleep, but most of all, he hated how he missed you since that fateful night.

how could he have missed the signs?

the tug on his sleeve brought him back to reality, as march looked over at him with a concerned glance. dan heng just shook his head and looked down at the very thing he was holding.

a bouquet of camellias. real ones, this time.

"dan heng, if you're feeling overwhelmed, we can just—" he was already walking ahead of march without listening to what else she had to say. truthfully, nothing she would probably say would deter him. the cold weather of jarilo vi was enough to drone out his ever active mind. so this was the planet that you called home after you left the express.

it did not take long for him to reach his destination, especially with how fast he had been walking. dan heng could barely even see the identifiable pink hair belonging to march behind him anymore. he'd probably have to offer her an apology for leaving her behind later.

it was a desolate deserted place, save for the monsters that roamed nearby and the dilapidated house that dan heng could only surmise as your house. though, he knew already what he was looking for.

"hey, y/n. i know you probably don't want to see me again, but ... here are your favorite flowers, just how you liked them."

to find himself face to face to a makeshift tombstone wasn't a sight that dan heng could have ever prepared himself for, but the fact that it was your tombstone that he was leaving flowers for made his last words towards you sink a knife deeper in his heart.

how could he not have noticed your erratic heartbeat?

when you told him that you couldn’t see a future with him in it, he didn’t think that you meant you did not have a future.

all those months, dan heng refused to let the flurry of emotions overwhelm him, but maybe for this time, he could just blame the emotional downpour on the bleak cold weather.

"if you had told me you were dying, i would have stayed."

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

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trappolia · 6 months ago

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OLD COWBOY’S REPRIEVE — pre-canon!boothill x gn!reader, 543

the light from your shared room casts boothill’s figure in shadows and angles as it streams through the curtains and spills across the covers — in the silence of the bed, you hear the distant bleating of sheep and mooing of cattle somewhere far in the fields. the sound reminds you of a childhood trip to the countryside that you had long forgotten, lost and muddled somewhere in the back burner of your mind, but with this moment and these sounds it comes rushing back to you.

“oh, for fuck’s sake,” beside you, your lover’s foul mouth indicates that he is less than pleased to have forgotten to draw the curtains close last night, again. boothill grunts beside you, stirring in bed and burrowing his head underneath the pillow in effort to hide from the sun.

“mhm,” your own bleary eyes blink in the light that filters in through the gaps between the curtains. deciding that yes, it is indeed much too early for it to be so bright, you turn over and away from the window, burying your face in the broad expanse of boothill’s back.

boothill grumbles tiredly, and you — sweet you, darling you, the love of his life and the fire of his loins — just hum. the tension coiled around his wide shoulders eases when he feels your lips press against an old scar on his back, your softer, uncalloused fingers curling along his pec, where the unshaven scruff of chest hair continues to grow.

“c’mere, ya,” boothill rolls over with a shift of the mattress beneath your bodies as you press against him.

your sweet affection towards him in the morning light never ceases to make him weak, and his heart aches from the tenderness of your touch as you press against him, running your hands over his chest while he grunts softly and pushes himself against your hand. he wants to shift closer, push himself against you till he can make a home in the soft warmth of your skin, and the two of you can forever be one entity so he would never have to part from you.

eh, an old cowboy can have his dreams.

you raise your head so boothill can slip his arm underneath, letting his bicep act as a pillow for your soft head. when you do not open your eyes, he nudges you lightly.

“y’ gon’ wake up, toots?” he rasps, voice still groggy from sleep.

“five more minutes,” you groan, which roughly means it’ll be an hour or two before boothill can properly get you out of bed.

boothill sighs as he lets his arms pull you to him completely, your head laying on his bicep now while you remains with your eyes closed. his own head falls back heavily against the pillows, hair cast over the simple linen in a mess of black and white.

he buries his face in the crook of your neck and inhales deeply — it is your perfume now that is an irresistible bouquet, the scent of sunshine and something sweet, and boothill relaxes into the embrace he holds you in, closing his eyes as he too lets sleep overcome him.

his chores out in the ranch can wait a lil’ longer.

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r0-boat · 1 year ago

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Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae brainrot

Nsfw

( this takes place before he boarded the astral Express)

( also quick side note I have yet to play the new chapter adgds rf h please us be horny in peace)

Imbibitor Lunae... A high title worthy of respect, but normally Dan Heng would brush off the formalities, but you, his precious mate, when this title rolls off your tongue, he can't help but be drawn to those lips. He tries not to be a slave to his instincts, but Dan Heng can only hold it back for so long, and you certainly don't help when you tease him. It will be your fault when he ultimately feels all your holes with his fingers in your mouth and his dicks stuffed in your holes.

When Dan Heng goes into heat, he becomes highly territorial, hoarding anything he deems valuable in a room, along with soft blankets and pillows and you as well. Once he gently lays you in the sheets of his nest, he will keep you there till he comes to his senses and his heat is over. Once, General Jing Yuan asked a guard to fetch you for something. When that guard opened the door to see Imbibitor Lunae on top of you with his tail wrapped around your leg, you saw your mate's pupils—waning as he bared his teeth and snarled at the poor guard holding you to his chest as if he forbade anyone from seeing you. If that guard didn't close that door, you were afraid that he might have lunged at him. After that, you had to calm your now aggravated mate down because he was under the impression that you were in danger and someone would take you from him.

Oddly clingy but not in the way that you might think Dan Heng isn't one for overly physical attention; however, he'd rather just to be with you, basking in your presence. Occasionally holding your hand or brushing his fingers against you if you are in the room, he's not too far behind though he swears it's not that he'd move literal Mountains for you. It's because you're dumb and stupid(affectionate) and will hurt yourself if not without supervision. If he doesn't know where you are for more than an hour, he will start to worry. Please don't give him a heart attack, and tell him where you're going before you go somewhere.

However during his heat he wants all of your attention he doesn't want you to even think about other men while he's on top of you if he thinks you're distracted yourself is long serpentine tongue in your mouth and kiss you too you're drunk.

"Keep looking at me. Don't take your eyes off me."

There's only one way for cold dragon young to lose his temper. If he sees a drop of Bloodshed from your skin he will use his enemy like a new chew toy.

Addicted to your touch, he may not give physical affection himself, but oh boy does he love yours sometimes; he wants to ask for more but can't bring himself to bless you. Pull your hand away from brushing into his hair with your fingers. Gently caressing his face, Dan Heng will melt in your touch. You'll be rewarded with a low rumble coming from his throat. Watch those hands slip lower past his pants, and he will fall apart in your hands, begging and whimpering as he paws at your clothing. He doesn't want to see him desperate for you, but he can't bring himself to tell you to stop letting out a frustrated growl when you pull away before you can palm his growing bulge. That's when he practically pounces on you. You won't get away with teasing him so easily

#smut #honkai x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #imbibitor lunae #dan heng x reader #hsr dan heng #dan heng #honkai star rail smut #honkai star rail scenarios #star rail

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sanemistar · 2 months ago

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⋅˚₊‧ ୨ৎ you introduce sunday to your family for the first time

𝜗𝜚 sunday x fem!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, fluff 𝜗𝜚 synopsis: reader is invited to a family dinner so she decides to bring her boyfriend sunday along to introduce him, along with her best friend, who’s mistaken to be her boyfriend instead. 𝜗𝜚 note: requested. tbh i kinda took quite the time writing this and i changed some things for the sake of the plot, i hope you don’t mind tho and enjoy it regardless ! 𝜗𝜚 back: hsr m.list

you were invited to a family gathering dinner the other day, so you decided to bring sunday along with you to formally introduce him to your family as your boyfriend. you two have been dating for a while now so you thought it was about time he meets your family. you’ve already told them that you’d be introducing your boyfriend to them, so they were very excited to see who was the man who stole their daughter’s heart.

you bring your guy best friend along as well, your family has known him already and they all love him so there are no issues tagging him along to the dinner. he’s also very supportive of your relationship with sunday.

“so you’re finally dating my precious daughter now?” your dad eagerly asks your best friend, mistakenly thinking that he’s your boyfriend and not sunday. in fact, they haven’t even noticed that he’s there.

“dad he’s not my boyfriend!” you quickly jump in and resolve the misunderstanding before your best friend even gets the chance to respond. your dad and older brothers look at each other in confusion, they were so sure you two would be in a relationship at some point.

“let me introduce you to my boyfriend.” you begin introducing sunday to them, and their initial reaction the moment you reveal him as your boyfriend is disbelief. their first impression of him is that he’s out of your league. their reaction leaves you worried if they’d force you to break up with him.

your worry grows even more when they all walk away and take sunday with them on the side. unfortunately, you can’t figure out what they are talking about because they’re far from where you are.

“so tell me when and why did you start seeing my daughter?” your dad and brothers begin interrogating sunday as he answers their every question very calmly, and you notice the looks on their faces slowly change to more relaxed ones.

“if you allow me to date your daughter, i’ll take good care of her. i promise i won’t disappoint you, sir.” sunday politely asks for your dad’s permission.

“her happiness is what matters to me the most, so if she’s happy with you then i don’t mind it.” he announces his approval of the relationship. you’re his only daughter, he loves you and cares about you, so he always wants the best for you. although he may be a little overprotective of you, he would never be against you or stand in your way of happiness.

“just so you know, you’re done for if you ever make her cry.” your brothers threaten sunday before all of them walk back to where you and your mom are. you sit there in anticipation, waiting for your dad’s response. once you hear your dad’s approval you happily jump onto him and give him a big hug, while sunday smiles softly.

things may have had a bit of a rocky start, but at the end everything works out well for the two of you.

𝜗𝜚 taglist: ꒰ @sylusdoll @spkyssn @ayrastv @hanaeriin ꒱

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dearemilia · 2 years ago

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Dating Headcanons | Honkai Star Rail

Tags | No spoilers, any pronouns reader, fluff, Dan Heng and march being siblings.

Characters | Dan Heng, Bronya, Gepard

Note | Look, I know that Honkai Star Rail just came out but I couldn't resist!! I just had to write these three! :>

Dan Heng

March wonders if Dan Heng threatened you to be his partner or maybe you are just blind. She honestly doesn’t know what you see in him.

Dan Heng may seem distant at first but give him some time then he’ll start pampering you with his love.

His love language is quality time. If you are a member of the Astral Express then he’s happy that he gets to spend time with you.

He’s not much of a talker so he’ll be glad to just hear you talk about what’s been going on, your favorite novels, your missions, etc.

See Dan Heng can be a bit protective, even if you are a fighter yourself, he’ll still be going with you whenever you have a mission.

He’d ask Himeko (He tried asking March once but she ended up teasing him instead of answering him) what kind of gifts he should get you.

Before going to bed together, you two would watch the stars together while you talk about what’s been going and Dan Heng will be there listening to you talk as he stares at you <3

Bronya

You always have to make sure she isn’t overworking herself, if she is, you’ll drag her out to get some fresh air.

She loves spoiling you and always finds a chance to buy something that reminds her of you.

Being the Heir and next Supreme guardian, Bronya wants to keep her relationship with you private to not attract too much attention.

Plus, she has many enemies. She does not want to see you get hurt because of her.

She values her mother’s opinion very much, so she’ll ask you if you’d like to meet her mother. If you still aren’t ready, she’ll understand, no worries (though, she still wants you two to meet)

Whenever she does have free time, you two go out for dinner or a calm walk out.

She’ll gift you a weapon of some sort, just to be safe you know? You never know what might happen.

She also loves listening to you talk! It’s so refreshing for you, hearing your voice always soothes her whenever she’s stressed.

Gepard

He’s a sweetheart, literally is so in love with you.

Would not hesitate to use his name to tell someone off if they ever harassed you.

When you guys go on picnics, he insists on cooking the food. Though, it’s more fun when you are helping him, it makes him feel relaxed.

Like Bronya, he likes to keep things private considering how he is a captain and has many enemies.

Whenever he’s in public and you are there, he would send you a glance or a soft smile.

His sister always teases him about you, going on and on about when he’s gonna stop being a chicken and propose to you.

Speaking of his sister, Serval loves you! She always considers you as part of her family and is looking forward to the day you and Gepard take another step in your relationship.

If he’s ever injured, either he goes to you or tries to avoid you. He does not want to worry you too much.

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haruchuiyo · 1 year ago

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Everlasting love

being a princess means select people for you to fall in love with, but what if you love the man who’s sworn to protect you?

content: royal au + princess x bodyguard + fluff + kind of poetic (i hope so lmfao) + more fluff + established friendship + requited love + even more fluff + slight angst + fem!reader + kisses + slightly suggestive + jing yuan’s so incredibly desperately in love with you

word count: a little over 6k (this fic had no reason to be so long but it’s a fast read I promise!!)

this fic is very self indulgent so I wrote whatever I felt like so lots of stuff isn’t gonna make sense lol

—

It feels silly to do what you’re doing, hiking up a grassy hill while holding onto your dress so you don’t trip, all the while your white haired bodyguard is trailing silently behind you a few steps away. The grass was cut evenly and was muddy from the rain earlier this morning.

You weren’t actually allowed to go out but time to time, rules gets disobeyed by you and you do what you want to do. Although your bodyguard hesitated in stopping you when he saw you put on your walking boots. But who was he to say no? You were the princess of the kingdom after all and he is just a mere bodyguard assigned to guard your well-being. At all times.

The first time you saw him was through your window in your bedroom at night. You heard the horses neighing, the carriages stopping in their strides and distinct deep voices speaking. As curious as you were, you look down from your window and see the king’s guards in their uniform. A particular figure caught your attention with his interesting long white hair. Feeling as though he was being watched, he looks up and your eyes meet. Your eyes slightly widen in surprise when he sends you a smile your way. And you hastily hide yourself away from view.

The first time you met him, he had a gentle neutral expression on his pretty face. He was tall, had long strides when he walked, and he gently held your hand while kissing your knuckles when greeting you. When he spoke up and called you ‘your highness’, and introduced himself as Jing Yuan and your new bodyguard, you felt puzzled with the way your heart pounded against your chest. This was the first time you properly met the behemoth of a man in front of you. And all you wanted to do was leave. Bodyguards are tiresome and they’re on your beck and call every moment of the day without fail. It’s tiresome. Definitely why you felt puzzled because of your increased heartbeat.

Standing atop the hill, the wind was cold but you felt warm below your garments. You look behind you, sure to say jing yuan was behind you.

“It feels nice doesn’t it?” He was looking at you away from the scenery in front. He smiles gently and slightly nods. “It sure does, my lady.” He replies and you smile at him back.

“It is very nice actually, this is my favorite spot did you know?” You ask again while looking at the scenery, taking in the view with a smile on your face.

“It’s my first time hearing of it actually but I keep that in mind, princess.” You giggle at the name he called you.

“And it’s my first time hearing you call me something else aside from ‘my lady’” you retort, lightly mimicking jing yuan at how he says ‘my lady’.

You see his eyes slightly widen in surprise before he took steps in front of you with lowering his head.

“I apologize, my lady, i didn’t know I was out of line.” He hastily speaks up and you chuckle at that.

“It’s because you aren’t out of line, jing yuan.” You gently say before speaking up. “It’s quite nice to be called something else than my lady although it’s the title of my current status.” You lightly giggle at your own words as you kneel down to pluck a flower from the grass.

You see how it’s a pink bluebell, which surprises you because there aren't a lot of them on this hill. You were gonna speak up about it when you realized you were looking down at the flower too long, and also the fact that Jing yuan was quiet. You look up at him and see how he’s looking at you.

The look in his eyes was gentle, thoughtful and of something else that you can’t quite put a name on. And then he flashes you his usual gentle smile. “I keep that in mind as well.” He speaks up, before adding with a glint in his eyes. “Princess.” And you giggle at that which makes him smile even more. His smile has you momentarily glance at the pink bluebell before looking back at him. Your hearts pounding faster against your ribcage.

—

“Let’s go horseback riding today as activities, shall we?” You speak up at the dinner table, directing your words towards jing yuan. Your father is looking at you with a questionable face as if he couldn’t believe your words. Jing yuan was surprised himself but was better at hiding it.

“Surely you can take the carriage?” He asks and you shake your head while cutting into your food. “Take the carriage where? Horseback riding it is.” You say with a tone that your decision is final. You look up from your food at Jing yuan, who’s standing at a corner close to you. And when your eyes meets, you send him a big smile his way and he reacted with a slight smile as well along with a small bow to his head.

And here you are standing in front of a horse like it’s the first time you’re seeing the creature.

“Is everything alright, my lady?” You hear jing yuan’s familiar voice from behind you.

“I don’t know how to ride a horse.” You simply say and jing yuan turns quiet. You look behind you and see how he’s getting down from his own horse.

“A moment, please.” He says before walking away with his horse. Coming back a few moments later alone.

“It’s been decided I ride with you.” He simply says.

“On the same horse?” You ask.

“On the same horse.” He repeats finally.

And he helps you up on the saddle, your dress puffs up in front of you which you grin at because it simply looks so silly. And then you lightly squeal when you feel jing yuan hopping up on the saddle behind you. You feel his arms go around your body and your heart pounds faster. Your body feels hotter when you feel his firm chest pressed up against your back.

“Hold onto this tightly, princess.” He says by your ear and you turn loss of words and simply nod your head. His voice was soothingly deep and it almost sent your brain into shambles. You hold the reins and you feel warmer inside when you see how Jing yuan’s holding the reins as well along with you.

“It’s a bit cramped.” You blurt out and jing yuan chuckles. “Nothing to do about that now, is there?” At his words you chuckle before you squeal again when the horse starts walking.

“This surprised me.” You say after calming down. “Feels quite nice actually. You’re a good rider.” You add in.

“Been riding since I could walk.” He simply says and you giggle. “You merely jest, I’m sure I couldn’t even talk when I took my first steps.” And at that, jing yuan laughs and you decide you like the sound of it.

“Alright princess, wanna go a little faster?” He asks and you widen your eyes in excitement. “Who am I to say no? Of course I want to.” You chimed and jing yuan nudges the horse with his heels and the horse’s speed increases.

That makes you laugh in delight, at the speed and how good it makes you feel and excited. You look up at the sky, feeling the breeze on your face and breathe in the fresh air with your eyes closed, not realizing you leaned your head back against Jing Yuan’s shoulder.

“This feels so nice.” You say happily, opening your eyes and getting a closer view of Jing Yuan’s face. He quickly tilts his head to meet yours and your faces was inches apart.

“Eyes on the road, princess.” He announces, looking at you and you giggle. “You’re the one who’s controlling the reins of the horse.” And at that, he grins at you. “Touché.” He simply says, still grinning while looking away at you.

Only now did you properly process how close your faces were and how it made you feel. Nervous, curious, especially at things you shouldn’t feel curious about your own bodyguard. And also over the moon, because it also felt nice to have him this close in this proximity.

Little did you know the man himself felt the same. How he wishes to actually properly hold you. Infuriating how he could only put his arms around your frame to hold the reins, but not your body to his. His heart beats faster when you laugh at his jests, when you show him your pretty smiles, smiles he sleeps and wakes thinking of. How your eyes seem to glisten in happiness when he steps into your view. No matter what side of the bed he wakes up on, whatever emotions he’s feeling, as soon as he sees you his entire day is made for the better.

He feels satisfied and content at how your head is still on his shoulder and he signals the horse to slow down and the horse starts to walk calmly.

“I didn’t like you at the beginning.” He hears you speak up. He raises his brow but his hearts is racing and his minds jumping to conclusions.

“What do you mean by that, my lady?”

“I simply did not like you because you were a bodyguard. Mine especially. Didn’t like anyone being just steps away from me all the time, every moment of the day. It felt suffocating.” You admit to him, tilting your head to the side of his neck, Jing yuan swears he could feel your lips brushing his neck and it’s taking every restraint in him to not react and move.

“I see why you didn’t like me.”

“I do like you now.” At your simple bold words, his bloods rushed and his heart rates piqued. He unknowingly made the horse stop in its tracks hastily, which had you almost falling back on the ground before jing yuan caught you with his arm.

For the second time of the day, your faces are inches apart and your eyes are widened in surprise.

“I mean I do like you.” You repeat. And jing yuan eyes widens at your second confession. Or was it really a confession.

“Princess, I’m not sure I understand the meaning behind your words.” He sounds breathless. He watches how your lips open and closes, unsure of what to say.

“I didn’t mean it like that way.” You blurt out. “And of what way do you speak of?” He asks again.

“I’m not sure I can speak of what I actually mean, I’m so confused myself.” You tell him and he hears how your voice wavers. And I’m sure his eyes are as hectic as yours, looking all over each others face.

“I apologize, my lady.”

“Why do you always go back and forth between calling me ‘my lady’ and ‘princess’?”

You ask him. And now it’s his turn to be loss of words. “And stop apologizing when you haven’t done anything wrong.” You remark gently but sternly.

“I apologize. A force of habit, princess.”

“And there you go again.” You say and he smiles lightly.

“What can I say?”

“A force habit that as well?”

“You might be right.”

And you haven’t spoken of what transpired that day. Yet.

—

“I’m not interested in being wed to the prince, father.”

Your father, the king, sighs as he rubs his temples at your defying attitude. You merely send him an angry look his way and when your eyes meet jing yuan’s, you simply wanted to cry your heart out at the frustration you felt. Of being wed, to not have your own choice of who you want to marry and the feeling of your freedom slipping away, slowly by slowly.

“You are to simply get to know him, not to be wed.” Your father stated and you let out a dry chuckle.

“And at the end of the day, you’re gonna have me wed to a man I do not want nor love.” You retort back before walking away, ignoring your father calling for you. You continue to walk, knowing jing yuan is on your path behind you.

“My lady.” You hear him call for you when you arrive at the doors of your suite. You stand still and turn to look at him. “Yes?” You answer, pretending to look fine but failing miserably. You see how jing yuan’s eyes look dismayed at your apparent displeasure.

“Do you wanna go to your spot?” He asks and you feel a little of your displeasure slowly lift off your mind.

“I’d love to.”

The moment you arrived your favorite hill with jing yuan, your heart felt light and content. Emotions surges over you when you see pink bluebells once more. Why they grow on this hill, you have no idea but you’re not complaining.

“That flower is beautiful.” You hear jing yuan say and you look up at him with a smile. You pluck the pink bluebell and raise it in the air, placing the flower beside jing yuan’s head. You close one eye as if to observe him from a binocular.

“What are you doing?” Jing yuan chuckles at your antics.

“Just observing how beautiful the flower are, of course.” You say with a big smile and jing yuan feels his heart skip. He thought of the day he asked for the meaning of the flower from the royal gardener. And what you just did now, he feels his blood rush and lovely feelings come over him.

—

The day the prince from the neighbouring kingdom arrived, you detested him right away. He wasn’t kind to the servants, simply looking you up and down before showing you a pretend happy smile. You felt revulsion when he grabbed your hand to greet you with a kiss to your knuckles.

While he was doing that, you looked at jing yuan who was standing beside you and you simply did a face to show your annoyance. He merely replied with a smile before glancing at the prince and back at you, you took that as a signal to look away from jingyuan to the prince.

The days after that, every walk after breakfast and luncheon, you had to take it with the prince. You dreaded those walks every day and would rather have them with the wall of your bedroom, than with the prince who only seemed to be interested in himself.

On a sunny day, fortunately, the prince didn’t come along as he complained of an apparent headache. You were able to take a walk alone with Jing yuan.

While walking in front of you, you suddenly slowed down, making jing yuan bump into you from behind. You giggle when you hear him slightly gasp.

“Are you alright, princess?” He asks worriedly as if a slight bump to your body will damage you. You giggle again. “Couldn’t be more alright.” You answer and you see how his shoulder seems to relax.

“Take a walk beside me, will you? I quite missed our time alone.” You confess honestly and jing yuan’s face shows evident surprise at the sound of your words before he nods. “Always at your request, my princess.”

After walking for a quite a moment, you glance at the man beside you, whos silently holding onto his sword at his hip in his holster, face looking straight ahead of him, his hair fluttering along with the wind. You kept looking even if he turned to look at you. As he does that, you smile at him.

Jing yuan felt his body warm up at your smile and the way you were looking at him. He wished he could take this walk with you closer without a single distance, while holding your hands and not as your bodyguard but something more. But that is something he could only dream and think of.

“The other day, I was being honest.” He hears you speak up, still smiling but looking straight in front of you as you walked. “About liking you.” You softly add in. Jing Yuan holds his sword holster a tad too hard.

“I’m your bodyguard princess, I’m afraid we can’t be anything more.” He detests himself for saying that, but it’s only the truth. Even if the truth hurts. He sees you smiling sadly at the ground before looking up at him, widening your smile. But he knew it wasn’t genuine by how your eyes seemed to glisten in tears.

“Even so, I’m not saying I don’t feel the same way.” And now it was your turn to get surprised. And he sees how your eyes wavers in shock and dejection at the same time. Because as he mentioned before, you two can’t be anything more than a princess and her bodyguard.

“It’s frustrating.” You admit ruefully as you try not to let your tears fall. You smile sadly at him while holding back your tears. You see how Jing yuan steps closer to you, hesitating to make a move only to not do it. You were gonna speak up before you hear footsteps behind you, and there is the prince you don’t wanna marry.

You give the man you love one last smile before putting on a false happy front for the prince.

—

Ever since that day, everything felt normal but wasn’t the same.

Jing Yuan feels his heart ache each and every time he sees the prince from the neighbouring kingdom gets close to you, gets to stand next to you. His legs wants to walk and stand beside you, hands itches to touch you and his heart wants to be with you every moment of the day.

Today was a small ball your father hosted for only nearest relatives.

Your beauty is infinite and you’re indescribably pretty in your ball gown. And jing yuan couldn’t take his eyes off you at any moment. At some moment of when you were dancing with the prince, your eyes met and he sees you do a shy smile and he swear he felt his cheeks and body heat up.

You swear you saw jing yuan fidget in the spot he was standing at when you smiled at him. And your heart flutters at the thought of the effect you have on the man who’s sworn to protect your life.

The dance was over and you feel a presence behind you. Turning around as you let go off the prince, you see Jing Yuan.

“May I have the pleasure of your next dance, princess?” His voice was of a gentle tone, mellifluous to your ears. He gives you a soft smile as you nod your head. “You may.” You accept his offer with a mix of a shy and delighted tone. You don’t miss how the prince eyes the both of you. So you turn to look at him.

“I had a lovely dance, your highness.” You state smoothly and the prince does a slight bow. “As did I, princess.” He simply says before walking away, not before eyeing jing yuan down as if he was a threat to your presence.

The orchestra starts a new melody and you feel Jing Yuan’s hand on your waist and his other holding your hand. You place your unoccupied hand at his shoulder.

Your fingers touches the nape of his neck and you feel your body get pulled closer into his. You smile as you waltz the floor with him. Jing Yuan closes his eyes when he feels you softly massage his nape and you resisted in your entire body to not place your cheek on his sternum.

A moment into the waltz, you feel his hand at your waist slightly hold you tighter and you look up at him. Your eyes meet and his eyes were mesmerising. And you give out a subtle gasp when you feel his hand slip lower down your waist. You see the decisions from on jing yuan’s face and you wanted to stop him before he did what he did.

“Thank you for the dance, my lady. Have a lovely evening.” He shortly says before leaving you alone on the dance floor. Him leaving has you thinking you should look at your father and you did.

His face showed he knew it all.

—

That same night, jing yuan got to his suite and took his suit off. He loosens his bow tie and rolls up his sleeves. He looks around his room in frustration while gripping his hair. Frustrated at the fact he ruined your moment too early, he shouldn’t have touched you so intimately without your consent about it. He saw how your eyes looked frantic before he was about to excuse himself. And the way your expression fell when he did excuse himself. But something about the touch felt so right and for him. You felt right to him and with him.

Feeling like he needs to take a walk to settle down, he grabs his suit jacket and opens the door, almost walking into you.

When he sees you there hiding under a large mantle, your face hidden by the hood. Your eyes met him and jing yuan doesn’t waste a second to pull you into his room before anyone sees you.

“My lady, you shouldn’t be here.” He mentally hit himself for that statement. He just pulled you inside. “I know.” You simply say, pulling down your hood.

This close proximity with you has his mind and body in shambles. You’re alone with him in his bedroom. Alone. Whatever could happen and if it does, he won’t stop it. He won’t excuse himself again and leave you dejected and disappointed.

“You should leave.” He says and you take a step forward.

“Would it be different between us if I were not a princess?” You ask softly, standing in front of him.

“No, not any closer. I beg you, have mercy on me.” He says while ignoring your question, almost begging and your heart aches.

“I apologize, I shouldn’t have crossed your boundaries.” His own heart aches at the tone of dejection in your voice.

You understand his reluctance to be close to you. Maybe you shouldn’t have decided to come here. You’re putting jing yuan in trouble if anyone saw you at his door. You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if something were to happen to him. You look behind him and see his window, there is a cup of water with pink bluebells resting in it. Your heart aches for him. You turn around and were facing the front door in jing yuan’s room and was about to pull the hood over your face, before your entire body gets turned around.

His hands holds your face, he looks at you momentarily before his lips presses down against your own. Your eyes welled up in tears. This felt right. Your arms wrap around his torso, gripping the back of his clothes and you feel his other hand trail down your spine before drawing your body closer to his.

Your breasts flattens against his chest and you wrap your arms around his torso tighter. Your lips move leisurely against each other. He pulls away slightly.

“I’d still follow you around even if you were not a princess. Because I wanted to, not because I’m your bodyguard on duty.” He confesses as he brushes his lips against your jaw, moving up to softly peck the tip of your nose. You hum in content at his kisses while your heart increases its beat at his words. At his answer to your question from before.

He leans in closer again, kissing you. An unhurried kiss, with wants and longings for you, as if the time of the world is in your palms.

Jing Yuan’s lips were soft and smooth against yours. Lips working leisurely against your lips before he angles his head to deepen the kiss. You feel him guide your hands around his neck before he holds your own, for more deeper kisses.

A sweet little noise leaves your mouth when you feel him swipe his tongue over your lips to stroke yours, as if your mouth is molded for him and his kisses. He softly strokes the pulse point below your jaw, the pace of the kiss is slow yet agonizing. You want more of this man.

You feel his hands lift off from your neck, trailing down your spine before gently grasping the back of your thighs through your mantle. As if reflexively, your legs circle around his waist when he lifts you off the ground, pinning you against his front door.

You’re breathless when he pulls away, so is he but he isn’t stopping anytime soon. He presses soft chaste kisses down your jaw, to your pulse point and throat while you go catch your breath.

It is when you feel him lick your shoulder blade that everything comes back to you. He continues to nibble having you softly moaning, before he bites down gently, leaving a slight mark.

“Jing yuan.” The way you call out his name so desperately and so beautifully, he knows you have his entire body and soul bewitched and in the grasp of your palm.

“I love you, I can’t imagine a day not seeing your beautiful smile and ever making you feel sad. I hate myself for it everytime I see you so dejected. When you're in pain, it hurts my heart.” He presses kisses on your throat desperately. You softly whine out his name.

“I love you dearly, my heart. Infinitely.”

—

You’ve been fidgeting the entire day, ever since you saw that there’s another soldier to guard you instead of jing yuan. You pace back and forth in your room before you decide to do something and find him.

Your first thought was to go to the royal court room, your father is usually in there. And when you get there, your fathers guard announces your arrival.

“Father, what happened to—“ you cut yourself off when you see your father looking down at jing yuan. Who was kneeling on one knee in front of your father. Your hearts racing in fear at the sight of man you love in such a vulnerable position in front of your father, the king.

“What is the meaning of this?” You hear your voice waver.

“Do you swear on what you said, son?” Son? Why is your father calling jing yuan that way? Your mind in tatters and you don’t know what to make off the scene in front of you.

“Yes sir, I do.” Jing Yuan answers as he bows his head. And the moment you see the king pull out his sword from his holster, your hearts a mess and you immediately run in front of jing yuan.

“What is the meaning of this?” You repeat your question, your tone belligerent and glaring at your father this time. You grip onto jing yuan from behind you with your left hand, while your other fist clenched by your right side.

“It is alright, my heart.” You hear jing yuan say from behind you, you look away and turn away from your father. “It is alright.” He repeats gently, his eyes are looking all over you with soft glint to them. You shake your head as you kneel in front of jing yuan, holding his face.

“I cant let him hurt you, you didn’t do anything wrong.” There’s tears forming in your eyes and you see jing yuan smile at you, before chuckling a little. He reaches his hands out and gently holds your face as well.

“He won’t hurt me, in fact you just interrupted something, my heart.” He slightly grins at you while stroking your cheeks with each of his thumb. There’s confusion evident on your face and when you look up at your father.

“You have indeed interrupted something, my sweet daughter.” Your father says, his tone has a lighthearted tone to it. You furrow your brows and your father laughs.

“If you don’t mind, please do step away.” He says and you hesitantly step away but not before you give a kiss on jing yuan’s lips. His eyes widens in surprise and when you look at your father again, he seems surprised too at your boldness.

“Don’t hurt him.” Your words are final. And your father seemed to understand it. “I’ve got no intention to do so.” He says before looking at jing yuan again.

“Jing Yuan, soldier of the king's guard. Do you swear to protect the kingdom in case of emergency and war?” Your fathers voice was booming. Your heart races faster when you hear Jing Yuan say he swear and your father taps his sword on his right shoulder. Jing Yuan swears once more at your fathers words and the next thing he says, you clutch the front of your dress and you see Jing Yuan smile as he looks down at the ground.

“And lastly, do you swear to love my daughter, princess of the kingdom, through life and death, every moment of your life?”

“I swear.” You don’t know what you feel aside from relief at the fact jing yuan is not hurt and the way your heart seemed to surge with love for him.

The moment the sword finishes tapping his shoulder, you hastily run up to jing yuan and he hastily holds you into his embrace, his arms tightly wrapped around your body and yours around his neck. He burrows his face in the crook of your neck as you grip onto his hair, as if he’s gonna disappear any moment.

“I love you.” You hear him say. “I can't see spending a single day without you beside me. You’ve seized my entire heart and soul in your bare hands and I wish to never get it back.” Tears fall from your eyes as you nod your head.

You pull away as you nod again, your face full with tears. “Only if you never give back mine.” You say as jing yuan bursts into a slight laughter. “At your request, my heart. I will never.” He voices and you giggle.

He sees your tear stricken but happy face, your lips shaped into your beautiful smile he thinks of every second of the day and you are beautiful. He feels his eyes water, his heart pounds against his chest at the thought of you protecting him when you thought he was in danger. The roles were reversed that moment and he can’t stop loving you. And when you press your lips against his, he feels fulfilled. Fulfilled having you in his arms, where you should be, and being the man you love.

You pull away slightly and he gently kisses your tears away from your face, your eyes closes in content and there’s a smile on your lips. He can’t believe he’s finally your and you’re his.

You place your cheek on jing yuan’s chest and make eye contact with your father. Who’s looking sadly at you two. You pull away from jing yuan and take your father in your arms.

“Thank you, father. You have no idea how happy I am for you to do this.” Your fathers arms wraps around your body. “That’s why I did it, because it makes you happy and that’s all I wanted for my daughter.” His words have you tearing up again.

“I’m having my king's guards after you if you ever hurt her.” Your father says nonchalantly and you swat his chest while he laughs. “I swear on my life I will never.” Jing yuan says with a grin to his face.

—

You flatten out the blanket on the grass on the hill when jing yuan lightly taps your nose, making you lightly giggle resulting in jing yuan flashing you a gentle smile.

“I have something for you.” He simply says and you sit up excitedly. “And it is?” You ask giddily, jing yuan smiles at your excitement in receiving gifts, grand or simple, you love it.

When he reveals your gift, his heart is racing a lot anticipating your reaction. He sees how your eyes widened in surprise, how you look back and forth between him and the gift.

It’s a flower crown made with only pink bluebells and it’s beautiful.

“I tried my best, although it isn’t the best sight to the eye I still hope you like it.” Jing yuan confesses shyly and you giggle. “I love it so much.” You say as you lean in to press a quick grateful kiss on his lips and he hums in content.

“May I, my princess?” He asks and you nod your head. He places the flower crown on your head and views you with gentle eyes.

“You are beautiful, my heart. Never seen anyone more beautiful than you.” He utters with a content sigh and you giggle. “You flatter me too much, my love.” You softly swat his chest and he chuckles.

He reaches his arms out and immediately envelopes you in a hug making you laugh at how quick he was to grab and hold you. He falls back on the blanket with you on top of him, his arms around your waist and your hands on his chest.

You lean down to peck his lips and Jing yuan meets your kiss halfway. When you begin to pull away he makes a discontented noise, and you smile when he lets out a content sound when your lips are on top of his again. You feel his hands trail up your spine to softly hold you by the neck as he softly deepens the kiss. You clutch his clothing on his chest.

After a few more kisses, you pull away to catch your breath and when you look down at Jing yuan below you, he is breathtaking as the sun rays caresses his skin, enhancing his golden eyes and the pink bluebells on the hill is swarming his head like a halo.

You feel his fingers brush the back of your thighs through your dress, tugging on the clothing, urging you to lay on top of him properly. Caging his body in between your thighs and when you do, a love struck smile crosses his face and he looks happy. He gently strokes your thigh and you smile at him.

You have no idea how in the world you started to fall in love with the man beneath you. Along the way from your first meeting, he caught your heart and you’re glad it was him.

“How did you end up in the royal court room with my father?” You ask curiously as jing yuan continues to stroke your thighs.

“He called for me into the royal court room and simply wanted to speak to me about you.” Jing yuan says and you roll your eyes teasingly. “Simply speak to you about me? Whatever for?” You ask again and you see how jing yuan is now hovering over you, caging you in with his thighs, his thighs brushing against your own.

“He found out after the ball and wanted clarification.” Jing yuan answers and you nod in understanding. Then you chuckle and you see how there’s confusion on Jing Yuan's face.

“I’d be lying if I said we were discreet that day.” You tell him and a smile is on his face, amusement dancing in his eyes. “We were the most discreet people showing our love for each other.” He delivers it lightheartedly in a sarcastic manner while brushing his nose against yours, making you giggle.

In actuality, jing yuan had a crush on you the moment he saw you from the window watching him from your bedroom. His heart pulled and developed into love for you. But he repressed them as best as he could because of the status of your current situation. Cupping a hand against your cheek, he leans down to meet you in a soft kiss, and he feels you smile into the kiss and he gently squeezes the back of your thigh with his other hand.

And then his hands were atop your hips. He pulls himself in closer against your body and deepens the kiss while squeezing your hips gently. There’s so much ardor and deep affection laced into the kiss, a heat spread across your face and body. Jing Yuan tastes just like the herbal tea he drank and honey cookies.

Suddenly feel a gentle breeze but it’s almost knocking your flower crown off your head and you hastily pull away, laughing as you hold onto your crown while jing yuan holds you by the hips, laughing along with you.

He sits up, bringing you with him and he lifts you up onto his lap by grasping your thighs. You are still holding onto your crown. “You will always have my body and soul, my heart.” He whispers languidly by your ear before pecking your mouth. You cozy yourself closer into jing yuan’s embrace, burying your face into his chest as a love struck smile flashes across your face at his lovely words.

“And you’ll always have mine, my love.”

—

in case you wonder, pink bluebell flowers is the meaning of conveying your feelings of everlasting love :)

if you’ve come this far, a like and a reblog would soo much appreciated hehe <3

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