#dan heng my beloved

[alaveii]

dan heng headcanons bcuz hoyo finally let my boy back into the spotlight

dh checks over his teammates all the time. even if he knows logically that nothing is wrong, his eyes will rove over their heads, their forearms, their midsections, and hands. anywhere he can see is evaluated at least twice in 20 mins.

he regularly seeks out exits. a habit left over from being chased by blade, or maybe due to his isolation in the shackling prison, he always assesses any space he’s in for every escape route.

connected to the previous point, this habit of his has shifted to accommodate march, welt, himeko, and the trailblazer as he became more comfortable with them. the most ideal exit went from “what he could escape through fastest” to “what we could get out through quickest without straining welt’s joints, or tripping up march, etc.” thin walls are also now a viable escape route for him as well now, due to the trailblazer’s raw strength and (semi) lack of inhibitions

when he first joined the express, he complemented himeko’s coffee. its not that he genuinely liked it, and he’s fairly certain it nearly returned him to an egg, but she offered and he couldn’t bring himself to deny or insult anything from the woman who gave him a home. when he drinks it now, the strain on his digestive tract is temporarily balanced out by the warm feeling of home and nostalgia, reminding him of when he first boarded the astral express.

in his IL form, his eyes, antlers, and tail fur glow faintly in the dark

he gets chronic migraines. whether caused from nightmares or shitty sleep, they creep up on him slowly before striking hard. the pain goes from ignorable to almost unbearable within minutes, and it’s during these migraines that he least appreciates his natural form. not out of body dysmorphia (like was for most of his time pre luofu arc), but because of the heightened senses and glowing features. they add to the pain, but switching forms usually only makes the migraine worse

dh is, in many ways, more like baiheng than dan feng. while he shares df’s icy exterior, features, and battle prowess, he also is notably more likely to tease and poke at his teammates. he has an odd streak for luck, running into danger just as easily as he gets away from it. he shares baiheng’s low, almost unnoticeable wanderlust and love of travel. he has a hotheadedness in battle reminiscent of the foxian pilot, fast and aggressive but never, ever, putting their family in danger. most prominently, dh and baiheng share an intense curiosity towards their fields of interest, and unwavering love and loyalty to those they hold dear.

dan heng, before march showed up, was very quiet. he rarely ever spoke unless spoken to, and if he did, it was short and quiet. welt and himeko rejoiced in seeing him open up when march boarded, growing into a snarky, protective, brotherly figure.

in his IL form, he has retractable claws. he usually keeps them hidden away, both for convenience (as he’s still learning to work with them) and due to insecurity.

he also has scales, though they’re sparse and scattered underneath his clothing. the biggest patch is at his shoulder, under his large sleeve. he has far fewer scales than df did, who kept most of his hidden under his fully-covered outfit.

dh found himself latching onto himeko the most often when he first boarded, and later the trailblazer as they grew closer. their natural heat was soothing to him, so he subconsciously started drifting to them when he needed comfort.

dh, after getting comfortable with his true form, found himself often lounging near, next to, or even sprawled over the rest of the express crew. he found another love language in physical contact, which his family happily indulged

the staff of herta space station are under the impression that dh is “the mom friend” or “the responsible one” of the trailblaze trio. he is not. he once lost his hotel room keys 3 times in one day. welt later sewed a clasped loop on the inside of his coat for him to attach his keys. him getting involved in a dubiously legal fighting ring (*cough* belobog *cough*) is not a first time occurrence, and will likely not be the last.

dh sometimes dreams of the good times with the hcq. he appreciates these, they make the quintet seem less like legends and more like people.

dh’s favorite dreams are of domestic moments with his express family.

[particular-one]

my heart won’t start anymore.

pairing. dan heng x gn!reader cw. hurt/no comfort, implied relationship between reader and dan heng, falling out of love (or is it), heavy angst that is carlyle's brand™ author's note. i say i love dan heng then subject him to my heaviest angst ideas. teehee, whoops. is anyone still surprised that i wrote yet another fic to a taylor swift song? listen to you're losing me for maximum enjoyment. ❤️‍🩹

dan heng would have to be the luckiest man alive to have known someone like you and simultaneously, the most foolish man alive to let you slip through his fingers.

dan heng did not know where to begin when it came to describing you. to merely think he was lucky enough to call someone like you his was an understatement; you were perfect for him in every way possible, that it baffles him just how he's with you.

the way your eyes sparkled at the mention of stars, your favorite subject, before dan heng listened for the millionth time to your lighthearted ramble of where the stars came from. the way your laugh echoed melodiously in his head when he made a small but harmless mistake, how he would frown a little in shame but your toothy grin would make him forget his initial embarrassment. the way your head rested on his chest, humming to a childhood lullaby that would always have the same effect on his heart — to grow bigger in affection and adoration for you.

and you made him a better person, better than he ever thought he could be. dan heng had always carried the burden of his past reincarnation's sins on his back, but your presence always made the weight seem lighter. a glimpse of you was a glimpse of a life that he could live without guilt. and he wanted to make sure that he was worthy of it. worthy of you.

in short, dan heng found the perfect lifelong partner in you, end of story.

which ... just made your words pierce deeper than a knife to his heart.

"i think we should stop."

dan heng was too deep in his thoughts that he had not realized that he crumpled the paper flower bouquet in his hand. he was supposed to hand this to you the moment he stepped inside your room; march had teased him on the amount of dedication he put in perfecting his craft — according to the archives he has read, they called it the art of origami — but dan heng found himself smiling the entire process. secretly, he thought of it like his practice of building a life with you; handling the paper with subtle gentleness and care, folding it neatly to avoid any creases, before constructing a foundation for the camellia flower, your favorite flower.

what a joke this all seems to be now.

what was going on? where did he do wrong? why were you doing this? dan heng tried to remember if he had forgotten anything important. was it the time that he brushed you aside because he was engrossed in the mission? was it because dan heng constantly locked himself in the archives all by himself, that you grew tired of that?

".... stop what?"

you looked up at him, your stormy eyes brimming with tears that you were still trying to hold back. even when you were crying and breaking his heart, dan heng could not help but think how captivating you still looked. "you know what i mean."

why? "why?"

from his perspective, he could already see how much you were struggling to say it. you were shaking your head as your body was trying to hold in the biggest sob. it took everything in dan heng not to run to you and hold you in his arms, but what are the chances that you'd end up pushing him away? your words were evidence enough that you did not need his grasp right now.

"i just... i just don't see a future with you in it."

well, that hurt. that hurt more than the days that his other self wasted away in the shackling prison, mind swimming in terror and confusion as to why he was restrained the moment he was born. that hurt more than the time he sustained his deepest injury, because you were the one who ended up patching it up for him, all the while chastising him for being too reckless again. he won't have that anymore.

"why?" it was a repeat of his former question, but dan heng could hear his voice breaking as he repeated himself. moments ago, he was just dreaming about spending the rest of his life with you. to be able to wake up with you next to him and be the first to see the satisfied smile on your face. to stay by your side until the day you inevitably passed on before him.

and now, you were asking him to let that all go?

despite his initial reflections, dan heng took a step towards you, to which he was greeted with you stepping backwards, a sight that sank his heart even deeper. "but i love you." dan heng started, his heart soaring when he saw that his words still elicited a reaction from you. at this point, he was just grasping at non-existent straws that would bring you back to your senses. back to him. "we can figure a way—"

"dan heng." he stopped at his name, before slowly looking up to meet your gaze. your eyes were clouded with pain, sorrow, but most importantly, it was devoid of the warmth that dan heng sought solace in.

"i... i don't know if i can do this anymore."

you were no longer facing him, your back shaking in muffled sobs as dan heng stood there, as he watched you push him away for the first and last time. the feeling of the crumpled paper flower on his palm left nothing but a sour taste in his mouth. to think that he was so excited to see you.

"you're giving up then? on us?"

his voice came out hollow, his once forlorn expression twisting in incredulity and subtle frustration. to think that he was so excited to make things finally official between the both of you. he was finally ready to settle down and become the better man— no, the best man for you. could you not see how hard he worked to deserve you?

how cruel were you, really?

you didn't turn around to face him, but your silence told him everything he needed to know. it took everything in him to stifle the urge to let out a bitter laugh. how could he be so foolish? who would love someone as stoic, risk-taking and tactless as him, anyways?

"i didn't take you for a quitter, y/n. but i guess we're learning something new about each other right now." he spat out, which earned a turn from you. dan heng could see the hurt in your eyes. it annoyed him that even when you're hurting him, it still pained him to see you in distress. it took everything in him to reel back and stop himself. "so this is it; this is how all... this ends." he refused to let this flurry of emotions overwhelm him, as dan heng took one step closer towards you, and to his surprise, you stood, feet firmly planted on the ground. well, what does that matter now.

he was now towering over you, his eyes never leaving your figure and now was looking down at you. a part of him begged him to not say anything else, to leave with his dignity and his head up high. even if they weren't ... partners anymore, he could still try salvaging a friendship. and yet, his emotions took full control of himself at that moment. "i can't believe i even thought you were the one for me, but i guess i would probably outlive you, anyways. "

he could have sworn he heard your breath hitch as your eyes betrayed everything you were feeling at the time. a mix of grief, sadness and surprise at his words, no doubt. however, it was a fleeting sight that only slipped into another unreadable expression. "leave. please... just leave."

typically, dan heng would be able to tolerate the silence between the both of you, but that was because he could lose himself in your gaze. not now, though. his hand crumpled the paper flower even further before he threw it at the ground. dan heng took one last look at you, a small hope resurfacing that you would take everything back, that you were simply saying it in jest — but there was nothing.

he allowed his anger to overtake him and close the door behind him with a loud slam, huffing in mixed grief and anger and leaving your room for the last time. even when you were no longer looking, dan heng still refused to let that flurry of emotions overwhelm him. he shouldn't cry over someone who gave up on him as easily as that.

if he had lingered for a moment longer, he would have probably heard you breaking down in the loudest sobs on the other side of the door.

━━━━━━━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━━━━━━━

it had been three months since you left the astral express. three months since dan heng closed the door to the possibility that he would spend the rest of his long, long life with you.

three months since he hurled all those hurtful words towards you, which he has regretted since then. but his stupid ego would not let him utter a single apology to you the following morning.

it didn't take long for you to pack your bags and leave, which dan heng actually found relieving. the more he didn't see you and mourn over what could have been, the better.

still, it had been three months. dan heng would be a liar if he said that you did not cross his mind once. well, maybe more than once. maybe a million times since you left. he hated how you still had a hold on him, hated how your voice would be the last thing he's reminded of before he drifts to sleep, but most of all, he hated how he missed you since that fateful night.

how could he have missed the signs?

the tug on his sleeve brought him back to reality, as march looked over at him with a concerned glance. dan heng just shook his head and looked down at the very thing he was holding.

a bouquet of camellias. real ones, this time.

"dan heng, if you're feeling overwhelmed, we can just—" he was already walking ahead of march without listening to what else she had to say. truthfully, nothing she would probably say would deter him. the cold weather of jarilo vi was enough to drone out his ever active mind. so this was the planet that you called home after you left the express.

it did not take long for him to reach his destination, especially with how fast he had been walking. dan heng could barely even see the identifiable pink hair belonging to march behind him anymore. he'd probably have to offer her an apology for leaving her behind later.

it was a desolate deserted place, save for the monsters that roamed nearby and the dilapidated house that dan heng could only surmise as your house. though, he knew already what he was looking for.

"hey, y/n. i know you probably don't want to see me again, but ... here are your favorite flowers, just how you liked them."

to find himself face to face to a makeshift tombstone wasn't a sight that dan heng could have ever prepared himself for, but the fact that it was your tombstone that he was leaving flowers for made his last words towards you sink a knife deeper in his heart.

how could he not have noticed your erratic heartbeat?

when you told him that you couldn’t see a future with him in it, he didn’t think that you meant you did not have a future.

all those months, dan heng refused to let the flurry of emotions overwhelm him, but maybe for this time, he could just blame the emotional downpour on the bleak cold weather.

"if you had told me you were dying, i would have stayed."

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

[pinklover07]

I tried playing with lighting but i suck at this

[wormdevourer]

just found this in my camera roll - a meme I made back in March that I forgot about 💀

this shit genuinely makes me laugh so hard every time I see it 😭😭 sorry if I’ve posted this before, it’s been a while since I’ve seen it again

[friendly-neighbourhood-archon]

I will not apologize for the person I become now that I can play Dan Heng

[stellartales]

I love hoyoverse for giving us more messages from Dan Heng. I'm getting texts from him daily and I loveeeeee it 🥺🥺🥺 especially this one (spoilers under cut)

The opening line before the conversation developed had me thinking: 'Dan Heng, are you subtly trying to ask us out on a date?'

Dan Heng, are you trying to fish out what Stelle (us) likes so that he could buy us/her back a treat?

"I guessed it'd be steamed puffergoat milk."

"I knew it."

To think he actually had given this some thoughts and analyse what we/she might like.

OMG DAN HENG why are you making me fall for you over and over again? I'm down bad for you already and you just had to say these things (pls continue tho I can't get enough of you 🥺)

And that last part:

"There's also a type of yogurt that looked very interesting. A pity it was sold out for now."

"It’s name is Puffergoat Belly Bliss."

"Let's come back and check again later."

Smooth, Dan Heng, reaaaaal smooth there. Potential date perhaps? 🥺😂😏

[zzombie-gutzz]

started playing honkai: star rail today!!! i'm addicted already

[simping-ramblings]

I think kinda accidentally spent well over 3 hours to make a pretty imbibitor lunae / yinyue jun lock screen and now I am tempted to make a home screen to match and possibly widgets so everything is pretty

[nocturnaluc]

He is so baby oh my god ♡⁠(⁠Ӧ⁠ｖ⁠Ӧ⁠｡⁠)

[antimatterz]

me falling for wind / anemo maple boys, yes.

[alaveii]

give me chaotic dan heng. give me dan heng who would do the most absolutely wild shit if he thinks its justified. give me dan heng who would deck someone on sight for picking on march. give me dan heng who would narrowly avoid an assault charge after hearing a researcher insult the trailblazer’s intelligence. give me dan heng who would offer to cause trouble so bailu can run off and play and have the childhood he never had

pls give me chaotic dan heng

[particular-one]

you are in love.

pairing: dan heng x reader author’s note: i have so many dan heng angst drafts, it’s funny that i ended up finishing the one that's more fluffy and comforting(?). awkward and touch starved danheng my beloved. 🤍 listen to taylor swift’s you are in love for the ✨experience✨

you can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home.

dan heng wasn’t a man of many words. march has chastised him multiple times about this, but he preferred to keep things as brief and curt as possible. it wasn’t like he had nothing particular to say — he likely did, if he were being honest — but dan heng found it futile to voice out his insights if it contributed to nothing.

that was, however, not the case when it came to you.

“how do you sleep in here? there’s so many things on the floor …” you quipped, hands grazing on the books neatly lined up on the shelves. on a normal occasion, dan heng would have been able to say something pragmatic like “i find it impractical to decorate.” or “i prefer it like this.”, but something about you always had his tongue tied, so the best he could do was gape at you like a fish. since when did dan heng started to act this way around you? he didn’t understand why he stumbled with his responses or why his palms were always sweaty when you flashed him your signature smile juxtaposed to the sight of you having just killed a fragmentum monster. himeko had pulled him aside one time to ask him what was up, but dan heng simply brushed it off as a natural reaction to a friend, a good friend.

himeko didn’t believe him, naturally. but even if she didn’t, dan heng was grateful that she didn’t press on.

“dan heng?” oh, right — “i manage.” was all he replied. after all that musing and pondering, it was the best he could come up without getting tongue tied again. you simply gave him a soft smile before leaning against the bookshelf. “all things considered though, it’s a pretty nice space. i wish i could have gotten a room in the astral express at least.”

“then stay.” you looked at dan heng all of a sudden, and that was when he realized that he had in fact said that out loud. “w-with us, i meant.” it seemed so uncharacteristic of him to blurt something out without thinking — but your soft laugh only further complicated the turns and backflips at the pit of his stomach.

“you’re too sweet. i would,” you took a pause, and for a moment, dan heng’s hopes soared. “if i could.” aaaand he could hear his heart fall flat on the floor. dan heng simply nodded, lowering his head in an attempt to mask his own disappointment.

the sudden hand on his shoulder felt electric, and dan heng’s eyes met yours, as captivating as ever. you still had that soft smile, with a gleam in your eyes that dan heng always lost himself in. you radiated with a warmth that dan heng could not find in anyone else, but he was so, so hopelessly lost in trying to convey any of this to you. “now, now, don’t tell me you’re going to miss me?” there was your signature grin now, the one you used to tease him with.

“yes.”

you blinked, as if it was a surprise. even dan heng blinked, equally surprised himself. and yet, you were quick to brush the answer off with another laugh — and dan heng couldn’t help himself anymore.

it was probably a good time to burst out in a lengthy speech of the extent of his feelings, but dan heng was not a man of many words. so his hand simply reached out to meet your free hand, before interlocking your fingers together before you even thought of letting go. for a moment, dan heng thought you actually would, but moments passed where the two of you just stared at each other in silence. if there was something that dan heng was exceptional at, it was probably holding a gaze longer than usual, much better than when he is expressing himself. though he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up.

“dan heng ...” thankfully, you were the first to break the silence, but you had a strange look in your face that he couldn't make out. you seemed to glance up and down but never meeting his gaze, which unnerved him even further. before he could stop himself, his hand cradled the side of your cheek, as gentle as ever. say it, say it please.

all you did was smile, before mouthing the three words that broke and mended dan heng's heart simultaneously.

i'll miss you.

you can see it with the lights out, you are in love — true love.

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

[aystoria]

I just started honkai star rail and I am addicted oh no

[cozy-game-bitch]

Been playing this game since 9 I love it

Do want to know where those promised pulls are though 🙃

[friendly-neighbourhood-archon]

He is beauty, he is grace

He will stab you in the face

[silas-png]

I love this fucking game so muchhhh

The Astral Express (Family) 🥺🥺

By themselves!

Extra trash sibs duo bc why not lol