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soriel week 2024 day 1: together! 💜💙
#soriel#sorielweek#soriel week#soriel week 2024#undertale#undertale art#undertale pacifist family#toriel#sans#papyrus#frisk#flowey#neue femur#undertale fankid#undertale fanchild#soriel fankid#soriel fanchild#pixels#soriel family my BELOVEDS#I finally have an outfit design for older papyrus! now I don't have to keep drawing him in his completely unchanged battle body!! \o/#before anyone asks yes his other pocket does say 'dude'. and his trousers have a fire pattern past the knees#I also figured out how to make my older frisk's hairstyle look less goofy and I'm very happy about it. love that lanky beanpole
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Grass is green, water is wet, and Jonathan Byers does not like Steve Harrington.
These are known facts in the universe.
Computers were going to take over the world, a “mobile” phone was being invented, and Steve Harrington had lost most of his hearing.
These were unknown facts--rumors even, if you will. Eddie had never seen even a grain of truth to support any of them.
(Well, maybe the computer thing, but only because Grant and Dustin both had made a couple of convincing arguments.)
So he doesn’t think about it, when his freshman gang up on him.
Doesn’t even factor the “can’t hear well” thing in, when he was tasked (demanded, whined, bitched and moaned at) with helping them explain to Steve why going to the release party of the new D&D box set, located at a hobby store only a mere 2 hour drive away, was important.
Eddie’s not even sure how the little shits got him to agree to do it until he’s standing in the parking lot in front of the former King himself.
“The store’s leading up to the release with a handful of one-shots.” He’s explaining, unsure whether to pull out the bored act or play up his court jester persona, and thus mixing and matching on the fly.
He does not care if Harrington doesn’t know what a one-shot is.
“They’re releasing the set at midnight. You have to be there to get it though, you can’t have someone else pick it up for you because they only got a certain amount in.”
Harrington’s frowning (no surprise) but it’s not until Eddie is well into his spiel about how his van is already full with the elder members of Hellfire, and thus has no room for the freshmen, that he realizes Steve isn’t quite looking at him.
Is in fact, looking over his shoulder.
Eddie stops. Follows Harrington’s gaze.
Parked across from Steve’s Beemer, is Jonathan Byer’s barely working clunker car.
A handful of steps in front of it, and thus nearly right behind Eddie, is the man himself.
His hands are still moving, mouth shaping words silent as he goes, his gaze locked not on Eddie or the kids--but on Steve.
Who turns back around as Harrington’s eyes slide right back to him.
“And this is taking place next Friday?” He says, in that sort of annoyed but resigned way parents aim at their children. “After school?”
“I’d like to go during school, but the freshmen insist you wouldn’t let them ditch out.” Eddie tells him. “They had two separate arguments about it.”
Loud ones, that had interrupted the game and given Eddie a migraine.
Once again Steve’s eyes slide away from him, to Jonathan.
“They’re not skipping school.” He says suddenly, a glare forming and Jonathan makes an annoyed noise.
“They argued about skipping, they’re not going to.” He says aloud, and finally steps up so that he’s next to Eddie instead of behind him.
“Munson slow down, I can’t sign as fast as you’re talking.” He adds, in the hang-dog grumble he’s notorious for.
Eddie stares at him.
“Can he seriously not hear me?”
“No.” Steve and Jonathan answer together.
“I can kind of still hear,” Steve adds, gaze returning to Eddie’s face. “But its more loud music or noises. I can lip read, but you’re also talking too fast for that.”
Without pausing, he turns back to Jonathan and says; “Why can’t you take them?”
“It’s Friday.” Byers deadpans.
Eddie’s not an expert on sign language, but his hands somehow looked deadpan too.
He’s not sure how Jonathan did that.
“So?” Steve snarks back.
What follows is an argument that Eddie is not, at all involved in, mostly because he’s too busy handling the fact that Jonathan Byers has learned sign language, for Steve Harrington, apparently, and given the tone the argument is taking they still don’t even like each other.
Eventually the argument ends, Steve throwing his hands in the air and demanding that Jonathan owes him.
(Eventually Eddie will corner the ever so quiet Will Byers and ask why the hell his brother learned sign language for someone he clearly fucking hates.
“Oh they don’t hate each other.” Baby Byers would say, in that shy, quiet way of his. “I think they’re actually friends now?”
“You think?”
“Well--you’ve seen them.” Will shrugs. “I think being mean to each other is kinda their thing.”
‘What the hell.’ Eddie would think, right up until he stumbled across one of the kids sign language books.
Byers the Elder, he decides, isn’t the only person who should learn sign language to chew out Harrington properly.
The pay off is immediate.
Or at least, the pay off of watching Steve’s shocked face the first time Eddie signs something vulgar at him is, anyway.)
#you can read this as#stonathan#or as#steddie#or as all three idc LOL#steven harrington#eddie munson#jonathan byers#I am once again back on my shit of Jonathan and Steve having THEE most antagonistic friendship#just constantly slinging insults and being low key mean to each other#and then Jonathan just casually signing the same way the party does to help Steve out once his hearing really starts to go#very much#“Youre a fucking dick and I hate you but also youre family and included”#eddie is BAFFLED#but is equally quick to jump on that bandwagon#0o0 fanfics#if asked Jonathans excuse as to why he learned sign language is so he can make sure Steve is properly hearing him talk shit about him#very “he needs to know hes wrong” vibes#Nancy and robin sigh very dramatically about it#Steve can actually read jonathan's lips the easiest/clearest and refuses to tell anyone that#but Jonathan somehow knows anyway
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Book 2 au: and there was only one bed!! :00
Because of course I just had to do this trope
This is the first and last time they decide to sleep in an inn and they have an unspoken agreement to pretend this never happened
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i like to think katara is pretty clingy when sleeping cause she's from the south pole#and she's probably really used to cuddling in order to share body heat to get through the really cold nights#ofc she'd usually be cuddling up with her family and not the banished prince of the fire nation who's also pretending to be her husband#zuko on the other hand is not used to sharing a bed with anyone much less sharing his personal space and cuddling with anyone#but anyways zuko would rather die than admit he didn't mind it as much as he thought he would and that he slept comfortably well that night#to the anon that was just asking about this au this one's for you lolol#i told you i was just about to post something and here it is
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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Hello, you said in some tags in a poll that Speed Racer (2008) is your favorite film. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to hear more about why you love it. I love the Wachowskis’ work (they’re among my favorite directors), but I kinda ended up bouncing off Speed Racer (2008). So, hearing that it had a real impact on someone makes me very curious why. I’m not interested in criticizing your opinion or arguing with you, I’d just really like to know why you love it in the hopes I might be able to enjoy that movie more in the future.
oh god this is from seven months ago, I'm so sorry - but I do love almost everything about Speed Racer (2008) and I still think about it nearly every day.
I love that it's so bright and colorful and absurd. I love that it's an anime in live action form. and I love that at its heart, it is a story about love.
it's about the mistakes people make out of love, and the consequences of that. it's about the way children grow to understand why the adults around them make the choices they do, and maybe choose to do the same things. it's about taking risks for the people you love, and the pain of failing to change the world, because everything is capitalism and everything hurts.
(and it's also about being transgender btw. like, that's one of the main things about it - it is very much a movie about being transgender)
what if your father's choices hurt your older brother, and your older brother's choices hurt you, and now it's you and your younger brother staring down a future where you're going to end up hurting him by making the same choice?
and then...what if you can escape that? what if the broken parts put themselves back together, and the hope doesn't run out, and you're not alone with the things that haunt you? what then?
and now you're at the end and mistakes were still made, people were still hurt, but everyone's grown and changed and they're different now. and they've figured out that maybe, just maybe, you can change the world by doing something you love, by creating art and beauty and making people feel things.
maybe you really can defeat capitalism by driving a car really fast. and even if everyone thinks you can't...don't you have to try anyway? shouldn't you fight with the skills you have, the only way you know how?
what if it works?
and I'm not even gonna get into most of the Racer X stuff (because I want people to go watch this movie, and most folks probably won't be spoiled for it), but his whole deal is just...everything. I love him.
(if there's a guy from Speed Racer that I want to put in a jar and shake every so often, or maybe wrap in a blanket so he can have a nice nap, it's Racer X. he's a great character. prime blorbo material)
anyway I've been rotating this movie in my head ever since I saw it for the first time, and I think I've seen it...seven? times now? and I still cry at the final race, and I still get blown away by the intro sequence.
(the beginning of the movie is genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen - it does an amazing job of introducing you to the world and the story of the characters, and gets you emotionally invested in it right from the start. it's fantastic filmmaking)
also like. story stuff aside, from a technical standpoint, the movie is a masterpiece. it's the type of thing that people hated when it first came out, but when you look at it now and see how it was made, how it intentionally looks bizarre and cartoonish, plastic and surreal, you can see the exact vision the Wachowskis were going for, and it's brilliant.
the way they did the visual effects, the way they made the outdoor scenes feel so detailed, the way the driving and the tracks work - they put so much thought into that, and the behind-the-scenes vids show how cool their process was.
also uhhh cars go vroom, crash into each other, flip upside down, explode, maybe have bees and hammers in them sometimes?
(the above is me complimenting the unhinged vibe of the races themselves, which I love very much)
anyway I could make other full posts about the script of the film and how much I love it, or the cool side characters, or the fanfic potential of the amazing world of the film, or how I can prove that it's set in 1991...but I guess if anyone wants those rants, they'll just have to watch the film and then come talk to me. :)
(please. please come talk to me about Speed Racer.)
so, yeah! I kinda lost my mind there and made this post way longer than I intended, but I do feel strongly affected by this movie, and I hope this has helped explain why.
#asks#crescentwench#speed racer#speed racer (2008)#speed racer 2008#the wachowskis#my beloved#also it's important for anyone who hasn't seen the movie or cartoon to know#the main guy. his name is Speed Racer#first name Speed last name Racer#also the movie has vague found family vibes because Sparky and Trixie are here and are a part of this family#don't worry about it. they belong here#and so does chim-chim#he's their youngest child#and also a chimpanzee#sbs rambles#long post
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Scar and Cleo being Workout Buddies for No Reason Other Than I Wanted Them To 🏋️♀️🏋️♂️
This is an old weeklong challenge I did wayyy before limited life, but it seems relevant now :D
#zombie cleo#zombiecleo#zombie cleo fanart#zombiecleofanart#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar fanart#gtwscar fanart#my art#Featuring my favorite exercises#Now that I think about it I predicted the clockers a little bit with this#Should’ve added Bdubs but they’re in 80’s clothes and everything#I just really wanted Scar and Cleo to interact lol#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#Oh and this is where Scars design came from for the Family Photo I did#Behold the ogs#Does anyone read these or can I keep rambling#I talk a lot#Yes I am autistic and have adhd why do you ask
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#ides of march#adding this to my collection of images to show my family anytime they ask me about tumblr#it will do nothing to explain but it will be funny#pretty sure no one in my family actually know what tumblr is for#they just get the occasional ‘I saw this on tumblr and had to show you’#what is it?#one of the best analyses of hamlet I’ve ever seen#a squirrel video#memes that require a decade’s worth of meme history#the saddest thing you’ve ever seen#a picture from Norway#batblob Batman drawings#it’s anyone’s guess#none of them know and it’s hilarious
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Any reactions from friends or family? Do you notice yourself being treated differently or judged as you get bigger?
ooooh i love talking about this.. i haven’t gotten a single reaction from family or friends!! and i’m 20lbs past my previous heaviest, so… haha i’m honestly just very lucky, they’ve never commented much on my body or anything?? as a teen i think it was painfully obvious how uncomfortable i as with my boobs, so that may be part of why :))
the only comment i got was years ago when my gma just said “300 comes fast” and i could tell she regretted saying anything… ANYWAYS hope she’s right hehe :3
as for being treated differently… certain things are different?? it largely depends on how i present myself, lol. with a cute outfit/hair/makeup or whatever i get treated very well still, but like. a t-shirt and baggy jeans and a chubby round face w minimal makeup bc im on my period?? people sometimes don’t make eye contact lmfao
on the other hand, sometimes there are ppl who treat me VERY well when i’m looking especially chubby/fat and i always kinda wonder…
#ask#talk#i’ve had interesting experiences back to back#but generally if anything i’m finding it easier to navigate social spaces as a fat person#i just feel more confident the bigger i get maybe idk#and i’ve been told im v charismatic >:))#i get bitches because i talk about fossils and plants too much#OH and if anyone actually reads my tags#my gma was 300lbs+ at one point and has since lost it all and kept it off#my goal is to be the biggest in my family by far
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i am neither easy nor immune o(-(
open for better quality | no reposts
my shop is open!!
#a date with death#casper a date with death#grim a date with death#adwd#two and a half studios#fanart#myart#doodle#hello i downloaded and played this game on a whim recently and have gotten all the endings#my favorite convo was during day 5 or 6? in which he asks about fav color/family/etc#i think it was really sweet how attentive and curious he was#and yeah it's very cliche of me but i liked the 'that makes my job easier... but why don't you have anyone??' lines#and of course the window scene and the flowers. and the nickname. yeah.#we all know why it was those little things rather than the banter and flirting that got to me hahaha#i think the last time i played a dating sim was. m.ystic messenger?? that was Ages ago#so this was nice lol
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Discord is basically a spyware program with the NSA crawling through it so no shit Russia blocked it. If I were in conflict with the USA I'd block all the shit I possibly could
usa is shit, but don't you come to my DMs trying to defend russians gov
bc they are shit too, I'd say they are worse but honestly I don't think its productive to argue on which's government is crappier
#Like... Just don't even start it#Get lost#Leave me be#Im tired#Yes YES there are fucking spies everywhere and internet is a horrible place yes we all know#But regular people just want to be able to talk to their friends and family and coworkers and commissioners and etc#And what alternative they have?#Im sharing my friend's post about the ways people in russia can walk around ban and still use discord to be able to contact to other ppl#I dont think i need you to come and explain me russian governments perspective because i sincerely wish most of them to die and rot in hell#And before you ask yes im russian but at this point anyone should wish the same imo
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Help me stay afloat while looking for work!
Hi folks! It sucks to be asking this, but I really could use some help with paying some bills while I struggle to look for a job. I've been looking for work for months, but my options are quite limited in the new area I'm living in, but I have weekly medical bills to pay for therapy if I wanna stay sane through all of this. All I need is a bit of help with copayments, which aren't that high, but I hit the red, so I don't even have that.
I'm trying to get commissions set up to try and make a bit of extra cash on the side, but I've been really stressed out about this whole situation, making it really hard to focus on getting that done. If you could spare even a few bucks, I'd be so grateful. I'll even offer out some sketches and such if you want something while I'm still figuring out my proper commission stuff. Thank you so much to the folks who have already helped out, I'm forever grateful to y'all 💙💙
Venmo: EH1220
Ko-Fi: Link
Paypal: Link
#Eli Speaks#donation#medical#emergency commissions#i really hate asking this#but im at my wits end#family was only really able to help so much cause they have money issues of their own#so id really appreciate the help if anyone can#also just a heads up that im about to be busy for next hour and a half or so#so if you do message me#it may take a few for me to answer#thanks everyone 💙💙
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every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal
#next to normal#and yes this is based on a true story#generally I dont try to juck anyones jum so I of course didn't tell that person what I was thinking at that moment#and if someone found Dear Evan Hansen a useful text in terms of their own mental health journey who am I to discredit that#but this is the internet and I am back on the ntn train#in a way it is my saf autumn musical#and yes I am a survior of the 2017 Tony Awards why were you asking?#no but seriously#it is so interesting how many narrative devices Dear Evan Hansen took from Next to Normal#but turned them into a less complete piece#like Gabe in ntn is a representation of unadressed grief and trauma and the family has to accept that he will never be really gone#and connor is just...idk not fully thought out?#idk I'm rambling#but also#how the love story between Henry and Natalie means something#Natalie sees her parent's relationship and desperately doesn't want that for herself and Henry at the same time also stand for#a piece of normalcy that seems attainable#you don't sit there and think hu why is there this completely separate love story thrown in there?#it mirrors the problems#and dear evan hansen#do I even have to say it#I thnk the thing I resent it most for is that it has a love story#naja#I'm of listening to net to normal some more#sorry I someone who really likes deh stumbles accross this#I feel like espechially musicals can be something that can be so personal#and I don't actually want to contribute to more stuff like#ew why do you like this when theres xyz that is so much better or morally purer or whatever#I guess what I do want to say is: if I had a nickle for everytime they made a musical about mental health where theres a ghost on stage and#the sister of the dead kid falls in love with a funny guy while her family is falling apart
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Mars i fear i may be dying of the plague. I have coughed blood into my sink twice now and my throat feels like I gave really aggressive oral to a scrubdaddy spongue.
Do you have any priest au thoughts/scenarios/rambles to sooth a troublde lad such as mysrlf🙏🙏
hemo. as a guy who has also coughed up blood somewhat recently. it may be time to go to an urgent care and make sure it’s nothing serious. there’s a pretty nasty pneumonia going around rn and if that IS what it is the sooner you get those antibiotics the faster you’ll recover.
as for priest au stuffs: the election kinda killed my creative flow (we’re ballin but we’re stressed) BUT i’ve been trying to flesh out hajime’s backstory a bit for the the past few days so here’s some bullet point brainstorming on that :D
check under the cut for the goods, as per usual ^_^ tw for mentions of child abuse, and also a general warning for priest au-typical horny talk and homophobia
i’ve been thinking abt hajime’s childhood/past a lot, partially bc i don’t feel fully confident writing him until i have the details of his backstory fleshed out. i think his dad was more of the aggressive “no son of mine” type of homophobic, where his mom was more of the “hate the sin love the sinner” type of homophobic. it’s cliché maybe but like. traditional catholic family values yanno. his family does differ from traditional catholicism in one way though: hajime is an only child.
i don’t think hajime was ever The Manliest Man growing up. yeah he was strong from helping on the farm, but he never felt the need to flaunt his masculine attributes. he never wanted to impress girls, he never initiated an arm-wrestling contest, and once he hit teenagerhood he quit wrestling with his friends altogether. when his friends asked him why he never roughhouses with them anymore, he tensed up and mumbled something about it being “weird” and “immature.”
he showed a lot of delicacy towards nature as well, a trait he carries into adulthood! rescuing turtles from roads, gently rehoming bugs, taking care not to step on wildflowers, that sort of thing. he was teased for this growing up :( he’d be compared to a disney princess and the like or just be called a pussy for Caring About The World Around Him. while he still loves nature and knows there’s nothing wrong with that, he does get embarrassed if his gentleness is pointed out— he’s anticipating some sort of reprimand.
been trying to think about hajime’s gay awakening. i imagine once he hit puberty he started having vague… thoughts. they weren’t attached to anyone but he kept it secret anyways since Lust Is A Sin and Masturbation Is A Sin Too and he’s not interested in growing hair on his palms or going blind (he later finds out that those are myths, but for now he heeds the tales), nor is he interested in the scolding he would get from his parents if they found out. from there we have two main options as i see it.
option A: in a parallel of the magazine he finds in Jabberwock, teen!hajime comes across some sort of gay porn. it’s completely accidental— he finds a mag or some other paraphernalia in a log or something, opens it, Realizes what is is, looks around for witnesses, and quickly stuffs it into his jacket. he’s not even sure why, but he knows he’s curious. as soon as he gets home he hides it between his mattress and his bedframe, and that night, when he’s sure his parents are asleep, he grabs a flashlight and starts to look through it. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fascinated until he realizes: he’s breathing heavily, hot in the face, absentmindedly rubbing his thighs together, and, most incriminatingly of all, he’s the hardest he’s ever been in his life. mortified, he shoves the magazine back under his mattress and tries his best to forget about what he saw, tossing and turning as he tries to calm down and go to sleep.
option B: hajime is really close with one of his peers. they’re childhood friends, and they’ve gotten along great forever. at some point, though, hajime starts feeling weird around him. not BAD weird, but… he’s nervous, and his skin seems to buzz whenever they touch, and his heart flutters when he makes his friend laugh, and… he can’t make sense of it all. not until he wakes up one night from a particularly vivid dream, chest heaving, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his sheets soiled with the evidence of his subconscious sin. he realizes what’s going on, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he does his best to ignore it, but it haunts him.
we could also combine these options and say both of these things happen, but idk yet. i like the loneliness of the porn but i also like the guilt of having to talk to your close friend and pretend you aren’t feeling confusing and frightening things for them.
hajime lives at home until his early adulthood, when he is Caught. if we went with option A for his awakening, then he comes home one day to find The Porn sitting on the kitchen table, its pages now crinkled from years of viewing, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he’s not sure how they found it— maybe his mom was cleaning his room and lifted his mattress? but it doesn’t matter— they Know now, and he has no way to explain himself.
if we go with option B, hajime is caught with that “good friend” of his. he had snuck in via hajime’s bedroom window, at a time they both were sure hajime’s parents would be asleep. unfortunately, hajime’s dad comes up to his room (hajime never learns the original intent of this visit) and opens the door to find his son, hair and clothes a mess, with the neighbor boy straddling his thighs, hands clearly paused in the middle of lifting up his son’s shirt. it’s silent for a bit, and the tension in the air is so heavy hajime feels like he can barely breathe. still, he breaks out of the stupor first, muttering a quiet “you need to go” to his friend without breaking eye contact with his father. the friend gets the message and bolts, leaving via the same window he came from. hajime is now alone with his father, so guilty and scared that he feels nauseous.
regardless of which of these events occurs, the outcome is the same. hajime’s father responds first, yelling and berating. hajime is terrified— he’s seen his dad mad, but never like this. never shouting obscenities and vile words at him. when told to explain himself hajime stumbles over his words, eventually landing on some variant of “i don’t know.” eventually, his father decides words aren’t punishment enough, and hajime gets the shit beat out of him for the first time in his life. he tries to defend himself, but he’s never been much of a fighter, and he doesn’t want to hit his dad, self defense or not. when his father finally storms off, his mother comes near, her eyes brimming with tears. she holds her arms out to hajime, tells her baby to come here. hajime, aching and bruised and perhaps with a freshly broken nose, collapses into his mother’s arms, silently crying into her shoulder as she pets his hair. she holds him close, rocking them from side to side, before she speaks. “oh, hajime, darling,” she starts, voice thick with tears and love, “i’m sorry. we’ve failed you, haven’t we? that’s why you’re doing this to us.” hajime’s stomach curdles at those words, and he quickly excuses himself, washing the blood off his face in the bathroom sink before he locks himself in his room.
regardless of the guilt he carries— he knew he was sinning, after all— hajime knows he is no longer safe at home. his father had never beat him like that before, and he doesn’t know that he would be able to walk away if it happened again. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, but he could tell that she was disgusted by him, too, her words still echoing in his mind. so, hajime packs as many of his things as he can fit into his suitcase, and the next day he leaves town, never letting himself look back. he job hops for a bit before he manages to get his house in Jabberwock— he got really, really lucky with the price of the property.
hajime hasn’t talked to anyone from his hometown since he left, and while he still has his parents’ landline number memorized, he doesn’t dare call. his dad’s probably disowned him, anyhow. sometimes he wonders how the people he grew up with are doing, but he can’t bring himself to go back. it’s not home anymore.
#ask#hemo#priest au#come get your lore dump! this time it’s Sad Mode#do heed that tw though. i get a little intense in this one#sorry hajime i keep putting you through the wringer. in my defense it’s compelling as shit#poor guy…. bruised and bloodied and shaking like a battered shelter dog#i like how a backstory like this sets up hajime’s personality. he was taught to be disgusted by himself#and he knows for a fact that letting word get out about his sin leads only to pain#so of course he’s secretive and self-loathing and all that jazz. of course he’s easy to manipulate#it also makes the church an even greater place of refuge for him#bc for one. father komaeda is going to Save him. he won’t need to be disgusted#and secondly. a church is safe and sacred. father komaeda won’t let anyone hurt him. he’s not in danger there#i also wanna draw some level of parallel between hajime’s father and Father Komaeda. partially bc of the shared title#and partially as a reference to the catholic family power structure and how that applies to other dynamics as well :]#i think it’d be fun if komaeda raises a hand to put on hajime’s shoulder and hajime Flinches. that’s yum#anywho hope this was satisfactory. feel better soon hemo get urself a cough drop
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okok my brain not braining rn but.... smth smth stan starting to figures tbings out when SHERMIE calls asking ford to watch the kiddos like
stan: hello? if this is the irs you can talk to me in person!
shermie: ford blah blah blah kids blah summer blah blah
stan: (why tf is my brother calling this ford guy????? and familiar with him?????) uhhhhh...
OH HEY i hadn't even read this ask when I wrote my response to that other one so I guess we're just on the same brainwave with "Shermie is the one to ask Stan to take care of the kids"
Stan is so confused because like. Shermie is his brother. He knows Shermie is his older brother. Everytime someone mentions Stan's brother they're obviously talking abut Shermie. Right? So why is Shermie calling up Stanford (how does Shermie know Stanford exists? So why does his brother Shermie somehow know who Stanford is? Does he know Stanley stole this random dude's identity? Except, no, Shermie thinks Stanford is his brother, which is super weird. And Stan is so absolutely baffled about this whole thing that he finds himself agreeing to Shermie's request before he can think through "taking care of a couple of kids for an entire summer"
#i should make an ask tag#stan (singular) au#ykw im just gonna clarify this one in writing now#bc im confusing myself#the family thinks stanley is dead or disappeared entirely#bc nobody has heard from him in smth like 40 years#they think ford has gone a little kooky in his shack in the woods#because he hasn't talked to any of them in 30 years#and for a hot minute any time any of them opened a call with 'hey stanford' he would just yell something about 'them' being after them and#then hang up abruptly#(this is not helped by the fact that Stanford had 'them' (demons) after him)#(and stanley-pretending-to-be-stanford had 'them' (the cops+random gangs he antagonized as stanley) after him)#so there's a bit of a crossover in actually-stanford going a bit insane and ghosting everybody#and stanley-as-stanford trying to cut out everyone from That Stanford Guy's life and ignoring anyone who seems to know who he (stanford) is#so the family eventually gave up tryign to contact stanford for like 20ish years#then obv the parents died#so its just shermie after like 20 years like 'okay fuck this im sending my grandkids to drag my idiot brother out of his cave'#surprise. wrong brother!#i'm retroactively making this scenario the canon-to-the-au one#stan doesn't have the twins literally just show up on his doorstep at the start of the summer lmao
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