#And before you ask yes im russian but at this point anyone should wish the same imo

[maria-ruta]

Discord is basically a spyware program with the NSA crawling through it so no shit Russia blocked it. If I were in conflict with the USA I'd block all the shit I possibly could

usa is shit, but don't you come to my DMs trying to defend russians gov

bc they are shit too, I'd say they are worse but honestly I don't think its productive to argue on which's government is crappier

[akvtsuki-ari]

Sweetheart (Ch.1)

Warnings: Mentions of BDSM and bunch of other kinks but nothing sexual in this chapter lol. Sub!Spencer and Femdom!Reader 

Length: 5.3k 

Authors Note: this is hands down the most self-indulgent shit ive ever wrote but do i care? the answer is no dsjk  but this that series i had planned where the reader introduces spencer to proper BDSM and all that. hoping to make this fic kinda informative also lol. also im uploading this fic on ao3 as well. also no tags for this fic bc its really specific and ill probably be writing for it for a while! sorry about that

Plot Summary: Spencer Reid just wanted to be.., well, you know. He doesn’t expect to find much when he signs up for a BDSM dating website but somehow he manages you and he couldn’t be more delighted

Spencer Reid was certainly a lot of things. He was a lover of the arts, someone who had a particular affinity for 15th-century literature, a magician at best, a theater nerd at worst, and a teacher when life called for it. He loves the world even when it's really dark and he loves sleeping in even more. He loves his friends and they love him too - even when they pretend that his random facts annoy them. Spencer Reid was a friend, an FBI agent, a genius with an IQ of 187, and a son to a mother he loves wholly. He was a lot of things and for the most part - he knew a lot about what he really loved to do. He supposed that it's been like that his whole life.

It's not everyday that he discovers something new about himself. About everything else? Always. He loves to learn, but about himself? There's never all that much on the frontier.

It's hard to say, because of that, when Spencer discovered he was a sub. It's difficult to pinpoint a specific time and place, or even how the pieces got put together. He just remembers how it felt when it hit him, like a freight train going 100 miles an hour into a concrete wall. Or a plane crashing onto an island. Or like a fly hitting the glass panes of a delivery truck. He remembers the feeling when he was deftly reminded of this fact. Spencer Reid was a sub - through and through and he wasn't really sure what to make of it.

Surprisingly to most of his direct peers, Spencer wasn't a virgin. He'd had sex with 2 people who he'd been kinda friends with at some point, but it always got a little weird after that. The second time though, the girl ended up choking him a little bit when she got off and Spencer thought he had died. Not in a bad way, more in a "I'm so turned on by this I feel like I've genuinely gone to heaven," sort of way. He didn't think it was possible for a sexual encounter to make him feel like that but it did. It didn't stop after that either, which was the most agitating part. 

Spencer doesn't consider himself a sexual person. Sex is about intimacy and companionship, and hopefully love when he finds that someday. Sex isn't necessarily about pleasure but that wasn't an easy lesson to learn.

Spencer just wanted to understand - so like any great genius he participated in thought experiments. It's normally a female superhero/supervillain that crosses his mind (he has an affinity for Poison Ivy), and he just kinda imagines what it would be like if they did what she did. The choking turned him on, but it wasn't enough. Through that, he figures out that he had more than a choking kink and that he was more than a little interested in a partner having complete access to him. He thought about it for weeks and the getting off was working for him but he couldn't get the fantasy out of his head. He wanted more - he wanted someone to fulfill his wishes.

It was too much for him to ignore. Those months of being able to hold off through masturbating are over and he's just sorta itching. Aching to act on those impulses with another person who can give him what he needs, and he doesn't want it to be transactional. Maybe it's too ideal to want a partner out of such an endeavor but was it so wrong? To want real affection and romance from someone who could also overpower him wasn't a crime and he'd be damned if he pretended to want any less. Spencer was just searching, even if it was rather desperately. 

So, when Spencer finds himself on a BDSM dating site and he feels like his life is in shambles, he can only blame himself. It's not something he'd normally do but he's getting a little more than relentless about it but he also just wants to see what's out there. He's so out of it was it happens, it felt like he was being possessed as he made a fake email and wrote out his account information. Definitely blaming it on possession, he thinks. 

It's too late to go back, as he scrolls through tons of profiles of rather intense looking people. He's not surprised, this is where people go to express themselves. They're entitled to that, it just sucks since he's just not ready for such levels of intensity. He wonders if he's in too deep yet, but he figures he'd hit that mark a long time ago and keeps scrolling through profiles. There wasn't much to go off of, many people not choosing to use photos for the sake of anonymity, which was good for Spencer. He clicks onto his own profile, reading his own bio carefully.

USERNAME: DOC187 

SUB/ SWITCH / DOM 

M / F / O

FETISHES: N/A

BIO: Interest in a dominant female companion. Completely inexperienced.

Spencer feels ridiculous, but he doubts anyone would even message him. He doesn't have much on his profile and he keeps things short for that purpose. He wanted to stay as low to the ground as possible - more curious to explore what was going in the world than to find anything legitimate. He scrolls through hundreds of profiles, mostly of people who were BDSM vets looking for new connections or fun. Some people catch his eye but they don't match his interests so he doesn't bother.

Except, one profile. The bio was beyond interesting to Spencer.

USERNAME: MISS—LILAC

SUB / SWITCH / DOM 

M / F / O 

FETISHES: Sadomasochist, Degradation, Humiliation, Pegging, Overstimulation, Edging, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Mutual Masturbation, Dacryphilia, Shibari/Gags/Bondage, Wax Play, Impact Play, Breath Play, General Sensation Play, Discipline, Collaring, Begging. Willing to try most things. 

BIO: Interested in submissive males of any experience level. Helps if you're interesting and like to read and watch indie films. Looking for genuine connection and plenty of good banter. Curly hair is nice too. lol.

Before Spencer can think about it for too long his mouse clicks over that stupid little message button next to your profile. Spencer shakes his head at his own existence as he types you a message. Says you're online right now, but Spencer's sure he won't get a response for a while.

DOC187: Seems I fit who you're interested in. I even have the curly hair.

Spencer chews on his nails anxiously before he sighs at himself. He has no clue what's gotten into him belle before he can think he sees your 3-dotted bubble pop up. He feels his body wracked with nerves.

MISS—LILAC: I'm guessing you like to read and watch indie films too?

Spencer smiles. You seem interesting and the fact that the two of you were just talking normal was making Spencer happy.

DOC187: Indeed. I'm a sucker for 15-century literature and anything in Russian and foreign language. You?

MISS—LILAC: 15th century huh? I'll assume Chaucer. And Russian? You're interesting, doc. I'm more modern and English, hope you're not deterred.

Spencer smiles, surprised that you recognize an author as niche as Chaucer. He shakes his head at your commentary. He almost forgets that both of you are on a BDSM dating site and the irony doesn't escape him.

DOC187: Deterred? Never. I think you're rather interesting too, Miss Lilac.

MISS—LILAC: Ever the gentleman doc. I'm hoping you won't run away if I ask you more personal questions.

Spencer swallows. He types back quickly.

DOC187: What kinds of questions?

MISS—LILAC: If it's okay, you're real name and what you do. My names Y/N, and I'm a florist. I live in DC and I love romance novels.

Spencer smiles. He appreciates you laying down the path for him, knowing the stakes.

DOC187: My names Spencer and I work for the FBI. I also live in DC, and I love magic.

MISS—LILAC: Magic? I'd love for you to show me sometime.

Spencer swallows. Part of him feels like it's a stupid idea to ask you out so early but if you asked, he'd likely say yes. He decides to wait it out.

DOC187: I'd be more than happy to show you.

MISS—LILAC: I suppose you could send me a video but that's not the same as seeing the magic in real life, now is it?

Spencer is smiling like an idiot at this point. He shakes his head a little, jittery.

DOC187: Infinitely better live, I would say.

MISS—LILAC: Seems like I've found an excuse to ask you on a date then. Saturday's work for me but I'm sure it depends on you, FBI man. Before that, I'm gonna drop my number and I'll be expecting your call. (XXX-XXX-XXXX)

Spencer giggles. It's a little out of range for things he's used to doing, giggling aloud for someone else is certainly new. Spencer picks up his phone and dials away, anxious to call you but excited nonetheless. He heard you pick up the phone and his heart catches in his throat.

"Hello?," Your voice is smooth, and a little bit lower than he was expecting. It sounds pretty.

"Hello, Y/N," Spencer says back. He heard you laugh on the other side and can't help the way his heart flutters.

"Lovely to talk to you doc,"

"Still Doc? Not Spencer?" Spencer questions. You smile on the other side of the line.

"Doc seems to fit you. But, for the sake of formality, hello Spencer,"

"I like Doc too, but it feels like I should have a nickname for you as well. Only seems fair," Spencer says laughing quietly.

"If it's your prerogative you can call me Miss Lilac, or just Miss but..." you trail off for a minute. Spencer squints.

"Miss is a title, you know? Doesn't seem fair for you to call me that when I haven't earned it from you yet. I'm sure we'll get there but for now you can just call me Y/N," you say softly. Spencer blushes bright red, his voice betraying him as he speaks.

"O-Oh, well um - where does the name Lilac come from? Normally people go with their names when it comes to stuff like that," Spencer says shyly. He heard you laugh on the other side of the phone and blushes again, grateful you can't see him.

"I love the language of flowers and flowers themselves. It's a way to speak that not many people know - but I like the meaning and look of lilacs. White lilacs represent purity, so that was a bit of irony, but light purple lilacs mean first love," you say carefully.

"First love?," Spencer asks. You bite your lip for a moment.

"I joke that BDSM is my first love since it's such a big part of my life. Not as big as some but not small for certain. It gave me much needed confidence so I joke that it was my first," You say lightly. You hear Spencer giggle on the other side and you smile.

"What about your username? Any significance to DOC187 that I should know of?," you readjust your seat on your couch as you talk. Spencer grows a bit embarrassed.

"I normally introduce myself as Doctor Spencer Reid for work, not a medical doctor but I have three PhD's," Spencer admits. You raise your brows but hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Very, very impressive doc. What about the 187? It could be a plain ol' number but my guess would be otherwise,"

"That's my IQ, actually. I don't think intelligence can be boiled down and quantified like that but I couldn't think of anything else," Spencer explains.

"So you're a certified genius with 3 PhD's? To say I'm impressed is an understatement. Anything else impressive you'd like to tell me before I totally pick your brains," you say a little shocked.

"You wanna pick my brains?," Spencer asks. You wanna laugh at the irony of such a silly question from such an intelligent man but you refrain.

"Who wouldn't?," you say incredulously. Spencer smiles shyly.

"The only other thing is that I can read 20,000 words per minute," Spencer says trying to deflect. Your jaw dropped before but it manages to unhinge a little further.

"There's a lot to get to know about you Doctor Reid,"

"I'm sure it's the same for you," Spencer replies.

"Guess we'll have to find out won't we?," you say smiling.

Damn, Spencer got lucky. Hopefully he'd get to find out soon

_____

"Reid, are you listening?," Derek's voice snaps Spencer out of his entranced state. His smiling expression snaps up to look at Derek who looks a little exasperated.

"Sorry, what was that?," Spencer asks back. Derek puts down the case file they were working on. They had just finished a case and needed to complete some paperwork before submitting it for review and to be used in court. The job was given to him and Morgan and Spencer was evidently distracted.

"Alright, kid - what is up with you? All case you've been checking your phone non-stop and spacing out, all smiles and giggles. C'mon now kid, seriously. You got a little lady at home waiting for you or is there something else I don't know about?," Derek interrogates. Spencer doesn't really know what to make of it, though it's not really in his interest to hide you, it hasn't really come up with anyone on the team yet so it was proving difficult to decide what to do. The smile on his face manages to appear again as he starts to think about you, the tips of his ears red.

"Reid," Morgan says again, with a small look of irritation.

"Her names Y/N," Spencer blurts out faster than he can't think. Derek gives him a huge grin, holding his hand out to dap Spencer up. Spencer just looks at it confused for a second before getting the memo.

"'My man," Derek says chuckling. Before Spencer can continue Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia walk in. Hotch is the only one missing, and Spencer's a little grateful.

"What are we celebrating in here you guys?," Prentiss asks first. Spencer goes to say something to move away from his sudden confession but Derek is quick to cut him off.

"Our boy genius over here got him a little lady," Derek announces. The whole team erupts in questions and Spencer wants to bury himself.

"Congratulations, Spencer!! How long have you two been dating?," Prentiss asks.

"You guys are so dramatic. It's only been two months but no first date because well..." Spencer trails off. JJ just nods her head.

"Duty calls, I'm guessing" JJ finishes. Spencer nods deflated hearing Emily draw a breath between her teeth.

"That's tough, Spence,"

Just as Spencer goes to give a response back he gets a text from you that makes his day a little better. It's a selfie of you at work, a picture your employee must've taken of you in a room full of new flower deliveries. You're giving Spencer a toothy grin as you hold a bunch of gardenias in your hand.

Y/N 🌸: *image attachment* 

Gardenias// You're lovely + Secret Love <33

Spencer cannot control the way his whole face bunches up in a smile, as if there's no one else in the room with him. Everyone just looks at him surprised, Garcia giving him a side-eye.

"How can you guys trust this stranger? We don't even know who she is! I haven't even run any background checks on her," Garcia complains. Prentiss nudges her side.

"I don't know if it matters - look at how hard he's smiling over there," Prentiss says. Garcia reluctantly looks and can't help but sigh.

"Okay well he seems really happy but still! We don't even know her," she pouts.

"I'm sure we'll meet her soon," JJ snickers at Spencer's lovestruck expression. Derek leans over Spencer's shoulder and raises his brows.

"Is that her, kid?," Derek asks. Spencer nods, simply staring at the picture you sent. Derek whistles when he sees you - you're genuinely stunning and he's surprised to say the least.

"Hot mama, pretty boy - how'd you manage that?," Derek asks, dumbfounded. Emily rolls her eyes.

"C'mon Derek, I'm sure - oh wow," Emily leans over Spencer's shoulder to see you and is met with the same reaction. JJ and Garcia are quick to follow thereafter, both looking equally as surprised.

"She's..." JJ trails off. The rest of the team just nods as Spencer grins ear to ear.

Spencer 🐻: Beautiful, as always.

Spencer ignores the rest of the team as they look at each other in disbelief.

Y/N🌸: Me or the flowers, Doc?

Spencer🐻: Both, but mostly you.

"Wow, Spencer you're really -" Prentiss starts

"You're whipped, kid. I mean seriously whipped," Derek finishes, nodding in agreement. JJ can't help but smile, giving Spencer a small pat on the back.

"She seems lovely, Spencer. How'd you two meet?," JJ says. Garcia stands around looking rather suspicious. A blush creeps onto Spencer's neck as he's reminded of how you two met.

"Online," Spencer says shortly. No one decides to question it, and Spencer thanks every god he can think of.

"Have you two FaceTimed yet? How can we know she's not, I don't know - catfishing you? Or scamming you in some other cyber criminal way?," Garcia sounds distressed. Spencer gives a small smile.

"We fall asleep over FaceTime every night," Spencer admits. Penelope's expression falls, and Prentiss gives a smile.

"That is disgustingly cute," JJ says laughing.

"Okay, well - I'm still running a background check on her," Garcia says stubbornly "But, I'm happy for you,"

"Thanks Garcia," Spencer mumbles out as he texts you again.

Y/N🌸: I wanna see you, love

Spencer blushes red as he reads your message. The word love makes his whole face hot.

Spencer🐻: I can't take a selfie for my life

Y/N🌸: You're with your team aren't you? Get them to take a picture of you.

Spencer wants to fold away, not ever really being the picture type, but how could he ever deny you.

Spencer🐻: How could I ever say no to you?

"Hey guys, can one of you take a picture of me for Y/N?" Spencer asks embarrassingly red. The whole team sends him a look of surprise.

"I'll take it Spence, try not to look as uncomfortable as you do right now," JJ says. The whole team refrains from laughing as Spencer gives an awkward smile. He thanks JJ who hands him back his phone before texting you again.

Spencer🐻: *image attachment* You owe me one

Y/N🌸: you're stunning as always. hadn't seen you in so long I almost forgot what you looked like.

Spencer🐻: stunnings an interesting choice of words.

Y/N🌸: I said what I said, doc. 

Spencer can't help but do a little giggle, that causes the whole team to give him a look. Morgan just shakes his head, shrugging. Emily, JJ, and Garcia just look at each other before the room draws into a subtle but comfortable silence as Spencer just smiles, totally unaware of how whipped he happened to look. He didn’t seem to mind either way. 

___

"How was work?," Spencer asks over the phone, kicking his shoes off as he looks into his fridge for something to eat. He hears you sigh on the other side of the line.

"Busy today - wedding season is coming up so tons of calls for centerpiece designs and costs. It's going well though, business couldn't be better," you say, clearly tired yet content. Spencer gives a small smile and feels relieved that things are going okay for you.

"That's really good. I'm glad you're feeling alright," Spencer replies. You ease into the couch as you talk to Spencer, relaxing by the second. 

"What about you, FBI man? You have an okay day?," Your voice is full of a gentle concern that Spencer appreciates.

"Yeah, just paperwork and JJ said that we shouldn't have any upcoming cases this week to be worried about so I have the weekend off," Spencer says without thought.

"Have any special plans for the weekend?," you say cheekily. Spencer, still not having caught on, shakes his head for a second.

"No, why?,"

"Hm... well - would you like to go on a date with me then Doctor Reid?," You ask, giggling. Spencer's eyes widen in realization as he facepalms for a moment.

"Wow, I didn't even think... yes - yes I would love to go on a date with you Y/N," Spencer says laughing at his own misfortune. You shake your head instinctively, but the growing smile and even further growing adoration makes it hard to sit still.

"Hey, Spencer," you say, butterflies filling your stomach.

"Yeah?"

"I really like you,"

____

Saturday comes quicker than Spencer can really understand. You told him not to worry about what the days plans would be but he can't help it. Anxiously awaiting you in front of the cafe that the two of you were supposed to meet at, in a part of town Spencer hasn't really seen before. You said that you'd lead the way and the irony isn't lost on him.

"Spencer?," Your voice is small, as you call out to what you think is Spencer Reid. Of course, you'd seen him before but to see him in person like this was still so unfamiliar. His head shoots up, eyes searching for you. He's delighted to have found you, certainly that was true as he walks towards you. Your arms envelop him in a friendly hug and he can't help but find himself sinking into. You smelled sweet, like fruit and flowers (which makes sense, the more he thinks about it)

"Lovely to finally meet you, Y/N,"

"Same goes for you, doc. Would you like to be informed of our plans for the day, or do you prefer the element of surprise?,"  You ask smiling. Spencer laughs at your question.

"Details would be appreciated, but I get the feeling you're not gonna give me those."

"You're right! It's a trick question, since it's a surprise. But, promise it'll be good,"

"I'll take your word for it then," Spencer says with a small smile. You hold your hand out for Spencer which he accepts, locking his hands with yours. The affection makes him feel full of warmth, as you lead him away for the day you had planned for the both of you.

___

Spencer underestimated how well you knew him. He really, really did. It's hard to explain since Spencers been on a date before but this was so profoundly different. He's a little touched, but beyond that he's just.. surprised? Every date he'd been on before this, he'd have to play the gentleman but it never seemed like the other person was interested in just him. It was always casual small-talk over dinner, or a mid-day coffee date or something else that just felt mundane but this was beyond Spencer's imagination.

The first place you took him was a bookstore - which was in Spencers mind already a winner for best date he'd ever been on. You walked inside with him and told him he had to pick up a book for you and you had to pick up a book for him and to say his heart absolutely fluttered would be an understatement. He picked up up a copy of "The Screwtape Tales," by C.S. Lewis for you, and you gave him a copy of Shel Silverstein's "Where The Sidewalk Ends." For you, you got a glimpse to see what Spencer's sense of humor was and you gave Spencer a piece of your childhood. Both equal but opposite forms of intimacy. The only thing was Spencer had to wait to read his book because it's relatively shorter than yours and he reads 20,000 words per minute.

The next place you took Spencer was an indoor butterfly garden. Does he have to explain why that's a good date? He heard you talk about all the scientific names for the different flowers and why they attract butterflies and he wasn't sure he could crush any harder on you if he tried. A particular moment sticks out to him on which a butterfly landed on your shoulders and just stayed there like it didn't want to leave. Spencer's eyes were fixated on it the whole time - and he had never wanted to be a butterfly in his life before but he figures there's a first time for everything.

The last place, where the both of you were at now was just a small coffee shop, locally owned and supported by the community here. You told Spencer that when you started up your shop, you'd come in here to work on big orders before you'd expanded enough to have employees. Spencer admires your work ethic, much more than he could ever anticipate as he sits down at a small booth, totally covering the both of you as you return to the table with a little plate of banana bread and two iced coffees. Spencer pouts as he looks up at you, watching you flash him a grin.

"I could've helped you carry this over," Spencer complains gently. You roll your eyes.

"Maybe next time doc," you say softly. You hold back your commentary often on the date, and Spencer pretends not to notice for your sake but he'd be lying if he said he didn't wanna know. You always had something sly to say but you'd kept it from him so many times now he figures it's better if he didn't ask.

Spencer looks at you as you push a plate of banana bread towards him. He looks at you with curious eyes before reading your clearly excited face and laughs. He picks up a piece and examines it, before taking a bite. If it tasted as good as it smelled then he would be more than obliged.

The involuntary moan that escapes Spencer's throat makes you choke with laughter. Shit, you weren't kidding when you said this was the best banana bread in the city. Spencer just looks up at you like he's about to cry with joy as you double over in giggles.

"I know," You say softly, taking a bite yourself eyes filling with joy "I ordered some more for us to take home - you're welcome," you say with confidence. Spencer smiles because that is genuinely thoughtful, but it was more endearing to see you pretend it wasn't. He just shakes his head, a blush arising to his face as he looks at you. You're staring at him with intent. He quirks his brow at you in question.

"I had a good time today, Spencer" You say warmly. You only called him Spencer when you were saying something affectionate and a bit serious. He gives you a toothy smile.

"I haven't been on very many dates, but this was easily the best one I'd ever been on," Spencer says honestly. You grin ear to ear, hands carefully holding Spencer across the table, running your thumb over his knuckles for a few seconds. You couldn't say for sure whether it was too soon to ask him to be your boyfriend, but you'd be damned if you said it didn't cross your mind.

Spencer was mind-numbingly unaware of what good boyfriend material he was, but beyond that - what good submissive boyfriend material he was. It was driving you nuts, but you knew this was all new for him and you didn't wanna freak him out. Even when guys say they're interested in being submissive, they're still often times uncomfortable with you being fully dominant. Dominant in public and in bed, if you will. You wanted to pay for dates, and buy him flowers, and make him feel special too - at least on the occasion. That role came naturally to you, that let me make you feel owned type affection that only a dominant person can give. It scared men off - out of relationships, and you totally got why - but you liked Spencer too much as a person to risk iit.

Spencer holds your hands together, gathering your attention. You looked at him spaced out and he gives you a look of concern.

"You okay?," Spencer asks. You nod, chewing your lip in debate of whether or not you should express your concerns. Spencer just tugs on your hand and looks at you intently.

You sigh, looking at Spencer softly.

"I'm okay I just really like you," you say a little exasperated. Spencer laughs but is filled with relief.

"I'm glad to hear that. What else is on your mind?,"

"I really like you - like in an, I want you to officially by my boyfriend way and I hope it's not too soon but I'm just, worried I guess," you say nervously. Spencer can't help the way his heart beats in his chest when he hears you say boyfriend. God did he want to be your boyfriend.

"What're you worried about?,"

"I'm worried about freaking you out. I can be a lot since I'm... you know?," You say nervously. Spencer looks at you  to continue.

"I'm more than just dominant in bed, and for a lot of guys it's not their thing and that's their right but I like you so much. I really don't want that to happen if I ask you out now and you realize that it's not for you," you say in clear upset.

Spencer looks at you in disbelief. You were worried that he was gonna freak out over that? That you were too dominant for him? It feels like such a silly concern but the expression on your face tells him you're speaking from experience.

"I mean, it's all kinda new to me but, well - I do like how you treat me? It's a nice change, I can't imagine myself getting tired of it, or of you. I really like you too," Spencer tried his best to reassure you without totally embarrassing you. You smiles at Spencer but your face is still full of doubt.

"If that ever changes, I'll tell you but I'd really like to call you my girlfriend," Spencer finishes. You can't help the warmth that spreads in your stomach at the offer. You just nod, looking up at him. You stand and walk to Spencer's side of the booth, sliding in next to him, leaning your head into his shoulder for a few while seconds. You sit back up, and Spencer turns to you.

"Hey, doc," you say softly. Spencer hums in acknowledgement.

"Can I kiss you?," you ask softly. Spencer chews his lip and nods, looking down at your lip. You're wearing lipgloss and it makes them look pretty - you are so pretty to Spencer.

Kisses are their own language, Spencer figures. The way someone kisses you can tell you a lot about who they are - so, when you put your hands on the side of Spencer's face, pulling him closer to you with such care and adoration - Spencer can feel what you were referencing earlier. The word Miss rings out in his mind, the way you pay attention to him with your hands. He feels your lips press against his, slowly gliding your fingers in his hair, thumb brushing agains the side of his cheek. Your other hand rested on his inner thigh and he has to think about anything other than that not to get hard. Spencer didn't get how much he'd been thinking about touching you until you'd do with no hesitation and he lets out a small whine. You pull back and Spencer has to catch his breath.

His lashes blink up at you and you're absolutely beaming.

"You're cute baby,"

Baby? Spencer wants to cover his face when you say it. You kiss him again and he can't help but feel flush.

You were Spencer's girlfriend and then some and he couldn't be more happy.

[strangerthingsharrington]

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-22-

The three of us sat in silence for the most part. Too afraid to talk because of the realization hitting us that the monster was closing in on the group at Starcourt.

The pain in my body began to catch up with me. Every inch of me was in pain, but especially my neck and arm. I looked down at my arm and the saw the deep purple bruise. I stared at it, wishing for it to go away. Wishing for me to wake up from this insane nightmare.

But if this nightmare hadn’t happened...then I would still look at Steve as the douchy king Steve version I had built up in my head for so long. And I was so happy and relieved to know that wasn’t the real him. At least not anymore.

“It’s gonna heal,” Dustin said.

I looked over at my brother, seeing him looking down at my bruise as well, “What? This?” I asked, moving my arm slightly.

He nodded and looked at me, “I know,” I told him, “doesn’t make it suck any less.”

He sighed, “I’m...Lou I’m really sorry for getting you involved in this.”

I shrugged lightly as I brought my knees up to my chest, “I would have been more upset to be left out...again. I’d rather be involved and know and help keep everyone safe, then just be sitting at home not knowing how much danger everyone was in.”

He kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds before looking away, to the tree line near Starcourt.

“I never told you anything to keep you safe,” Dustin began, “if something happened to me-I mean that obviously wouldn’t be good, but at least mom would still have someone,” he told me as his eyes began to tear, “dad just-he left her and us. And it sucks. It really does,” he said with a sniffle.

“By keeping you out of the loop, I was-ya know...trying to make sure that mom didn’t lose absolutely everyone in her life. I wanted to keep you safe and make sure that if something happened,” he stopped and looked to me with tears ready to overflow, “then at least you’d be okay and still here with mom so she wouldn’t be alone.”

My cheeks were damp with my own tears and I shook my head, “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that, Dust. I appreciate you looking out for me, and I’m here now...and I will do anything to keep you safe. Anything.”

“I know, I just wish this shit wasn’t life or death,” he shrugged.

I grinned at him and wiped my cheeks, “We’re in this together, Dustin. All of us,” I added, looking over to Erica who had been watching us silently, “we’re gonna be good,” I promised.

Erica nodded once to me and looked away, not before a tear slipped down her face.

“Bald eagle has landed!” the panting voice of Murray Bauman came through Cerebro, “repay. Bald eagle has landed.”

I breathed out a laugh and looked to my brother who was grinning as well, “Holy shit, it’s gonna work,” Erica said, with a surprised edge to her voice.

“Come on,” Hop growled through the radio, “how much longer?”

“I dont know, I’ve never done this before!” Murray responded harshly.

The three of us again sat in silence waiting for Murray or Hop to give us the good news that they had gotten the keys. The sooner they got the keys, the sooner this would be over, then we could make sure everyone was okay.

I was hoping that Steve and a Robin had made it to the mall alright and nothing had happened to them while driving.

My heart rate started picking up just thinking about something bad happening to them or to anyone. It was like Dustin said. It really was life and death here unfortunately.

“Get ready lovebirds, you’re almost up to bat!” Bauman announced.

I felt the adrenaline begin picking back up in me. I stood up and walked the few steps to the edge of the hill and looked towards Starcourt. The lights were still flashing like crazy.

I started pacing back and forth waiting for something, anything to come over the radio.

“Lou, come back and sit, your legs are probably killing!” Dustin told me.

I shook my head, “I’m fine,” I insisted since I truly couldn’t feel the pain in my body anymore.

“Lou sit back down!” Erica called.

I shook my head, “I can’t, I’ll sit when we know Mrs. Byers and Hop got the keys.”

“Murray?” Hop questioned aggressively, “Your goddamn code is wrong.”

“What? Are you sure?” Murray responded.

“Yeah im sure,” Hop responded back.

“Well-I suppose it could be wrong...”

“How could it be wrong?” Hop shouted.

“The code is a number! A famous number. Planck’s constant. I -I thought I knew it,” Murray explained, tripping over his words.

“Shit,” I whispered to myself continuing to pace back and forth, “shit, shit, shit, shit.”

“Lou, you do know Planck’s constant?” Dustin called to me.

I looked back to the mall then back to him quickly, “No, I -I used to but not anymore.”

I looked back to the mall, as if I was expecting to see Steve and Robin arriving in one piece. I couldn’t focus on anything without knowing they were okay. I should’ve gone with him.

I knew in my heart that Dustin and Erica would be okay. I knew it and still believed it.

“What are you doing?” Erica asked loudly.

I looked back at the two of them and heard the static of the radio channels as Dustin moved through them.

“What are you doing, Dust?” I asked, taking a step towards them.

He looked up at me, “Trying to get the number for Hop!”

His hand stopped moving the radio knob as he settled on a different channel, he brought the microphone up to his lips, “Suzie do you copy?”

Suzie.

I walked over to them and dropped to my knees next to Dustin.

“Will she know it?” I asked him.

He looked to my with a grin and nodded, “She is one of the smartest people I know...if anyone knows it off by heart it’s her.”

“Suzie, you do copy?” he repeated.

“This is Suzie! I copy!” a sweet voice came through the radio, a pleasant change from Hopper and his angry tone all the time.

“Suzie!” Dustin said happily.

“Dusty-bun?” she questioned.

“Dusty-bun?” Erica repeated, disgusted.

“Where have you been?” Suzie asked my brother.

Dustin closed his eyes, “I’m so so sorry. I’ve-I’ve been really busy...uh, trying to save the world from Russians and monsters.”

Suzie giggled on the other end, “Of course you have!”

“Get the goddamn number!” Erica scolded loudly.

“Who was that?” Suzie asked, sounding worried about hearing another girl on my brothers end of the radio.

Dustin looked over to Erica angrily, “It was-huh I don’t know actually. I think it was just interference,” he said almost questioningly looking over to me.

I nodded and motioned with my hand to keep going.

“So why don’t we huh...change frequency to fourteen point one five eight?” he suggested.

“Copy that, changing frequency. Standby!” Suzie responded eagerly.

Dustin changed the radio to the frequency he told Suzie and sat back waiting for to talk to him again.

He looked at me quickly, “Everyone else is on this one...then they’ll be able to get Plancks constant right from her,” he explained.

I nodded, “Nice,” I said approvingly.

I looked over to Erica and she looked irritated beyond belief. She looked at me and raised her eye brow, motioning between Dustin and the radio. I shook my head, and brought a finger to my lips to make sure she knew to keep quiet.

I loved her sass, but we needed this number to save everyone. And the only way to get it was through Suzie.

“Dusty-bun, you copy?” her voice cut through the static.

“I copy Suzie-poo,” he smiled.

At that I’ll admit I almost lost it and started laughing. But I composed myself and calmed down.

“It sounds so much better now, thanks,” he told her, he cleared his throat, “Okay so listen, do you know Planck’s constant?” he asked cutting right to the chase.

“Do you know the earth orbits the sun?” she asked back as Dustin chuckled with a head nod.

“Okay so I know it starts with two sixes and then a...what is it?”

“Okay let me just be clear on this,” she began, “I haven’t heard from you in a week and now you want a mathematical equation that you should know so you can...save the world?”

I grimaced. I couldn’t help but agree with her. If Steve...or anyone hadn’t talked to me for a week then called me randomly for a reason like this...I’d be a little upset too.

“Suzie-poo, I promise I will make it up to you as soon as possible,” he pleaded.

“You can make it up to me now?” she suggested.

My brow furrowed as I looked to my brother who looked alarmed.

“What?” he questioned.

“I want to hear it,” she said.

“Not right now,” he said immediately looking to me.

“Yes now Dusty-bun!”

“Suzie-poo, this is urgent-“

“Yes, yes,” she cut him off, “you’re saving the world I got that the first time. But Ged is also saving Earthsea and he’s about to confront the shadow, so this is Suzie signing off.”

My eyes widened and I smacked my brother roughly on the shoulder motioning to the microphone, “Wait wait wait!” he called into the microphone, giving me a dirty look, “Okay! Okay!”

He took his finger off the button and looked ahead, “Shit,” he murmured.

I rolled by eyes at his attitude. What in the actual world could she be asking him to do that would make him hesitate getting the number that would unlock the key that would finally close this gate?

“Turn around, look at what you see,” my eyes widened and I looked to him unable to form any words.

He looked to me quickly before looking away awkwardly, “In her face, the mirror of your dream.”

Erica and I made eye contact behind Dustin’s back and the shear...dismay on her face was unmistakeable. She really did look utterly disgusted with what was happening.

Dustin was singing the theme for The Neverending Story. Over a radio. To his girlfriend in a different state.

I was more confused than anything.

“Make believe I'm everywhere, given in the light. Written on the pages is, the answer to our never ending story, ah. Reach the stars, fly a fantasy. Dream a dream. And what you see will be. Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds. And there upon a rainbow is the answer to our never ending story, ah. Story, ah.”

Dustin had a smile on his face at the conclusion of their surprising musical number. I had my eyes trained on him the whole time absolutely perplexed at what was happening.

“Plancks constant is six point six two six zero seven zero zero four,” Suzie said over the radio, much to my relief.

I smiled and looked to Dustin who was grinning while looking ahead, “You just saved the world,” he explained.

“Gosh I missed you Dusty-bun,” she sighed happily to him.

“I missed you more, Suzie-poo,” Dustin cooed to her.

“I miss you more multiplied by all the stars in our galaxy.”

“No I miss you more-“

“Enough,” Erica demanded shutting down their radio connection and cutting off Dustin mid sentence.

“So rude, Erica!” Dustin snapped.

She scoffed, “Well sorry that I don’t want to hear the two of you dorks talking all stupid to each other!”

“I’m sorry you’ve never been in love before!”

“I’m ten you dork, I don’t care about that shit! I care about not puking while you’re making googly eyes at a radio!”

“Both of you, enough!” I said as I stood up, “Can we just appreciate that they got the keys and this shit could be over any time now?”

I walked back to the spot where I could see the mall. The lights weren’t flickering anymore.

“Guys!” I called, smiling, “The mall-the lights are back to normal!”

They were at my sides immediately and I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Maybe El managed to kill the monster before they closed the gate? Either way knowing they were, hopefully, safe was a relief.

“How much longer?” Erica wondered.

I shrugged, “Who’s to say? Hopefully soon.”

“I knew El could do it,” Dustin said quietly.

I turned to him and smirked, “Now back to the Neverending Story singalong.”

He rolled his eyes, “Look it’s our little-little thing we do! We both love the movie and-and it’s just...our thing!”

I was already laughing as he explained himself, “Come on, Lou,” he stressed, “we got the number didn’t we? Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Oh it’ll count for something once you see the party again,” I laughed.

“Um. Guys?” Erica questioned.

I looked back at her as my laughter subsided, “Yeah?”

She didn’t turn her head to look at me, just stuck her arm out and pointed her finger.

I looked back out over the trees back to Starcourt. The lights...they were flickering even worse if that was possible.

My stomach dropped and my chest tightened. The monster was still there. Still going after them. And I wasn’t there to help.

——

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner

Tag list : @queenofthehairharrington

[nomdeguerreblogs]

hello!! i don't know if you still into tommy x grace ....but if so, what do you think that season 3 would had be? in terms of their relationship with each other, and others, particularly grace with polly and ada. i miss them, and im terrible afraid of tommy and lizzie having more years together, and more kids.

Hello anon! I answered an ask a little while ago about how the Time Gap Tommy and Grace looked and hopefully that goes some way to answering this. The other part of your question - about how Grace interacted with other family members is tricky. I don’t think S3 tried very hard at all to answer it, but I do think it’s interesting. Because I want to know who Grace was (at least partly to know why THIS woman, why does Tommy who we know quite a lot about, love HER); and I want to know what she thinks of Tommy who, despite what SK thinks about his charismatic bad boy is not readily loveable; and I want to know what the family - especially Arthur, Ada and Polly - think of the pairing. The family members might have counterpointed Tommy’s grief too and given the audience a slightly more sympathetic way in (yes I know he bats away Arthur and Polly but…) Before I wander off who knows where…

Let’s start with Arthur, who you didn’t ask about, but I like, so. He remembers Grace in the Garrison covering for him taking cash and talking about manky cigarettes, and that he was attracted to her then too. He remembers watching Tommy watching her and being amused and pleased that his brother was doing something palpably normal and comprehensible; ie. lusting after a good-looking bird. He’s not capable at the time of appreciating the emotion though (“give her a good seeing to” I mean, Arthur please Tommy’s nearly proposing). The other thing Arthur brings in perspective is the idea of betrayal; after being scammed by his father he understands being manipulated by someone you love, and still loving them, and wanting things to be changed, better, kind. (FWIW, there are several parallels that begin way back in 1.05 between Grace and Arthur Sr, usually antithetical.) Arthur’s relationship with Linda seems to have taken Tommy’s with Grace as a bit of a template too. I would suggest that, just as much as Polly might, Arthur gets Tommy’s perspective in the relationship with Grace, just in a different way. It’s kind of a masculine perspective; he gets the lust and that she softens him, and finally in S3 he understands that’s good. He’s best man for a reason. Anyway, Arthur I think likes Grace in an uncomplicated way, and cheers them on. His “Sorry, sister” is possibly my favourite line of the entire series from anyone to anyone (it’s a close run thing with Tommy finally saying ‘I love you’) because it is the only one that indicates she is family, not just to Tommy, but the rest of them as well.

Now, Polly. *rolls up sleeves*

Oh my giddy fucking aunt where do I go with this? In series one, Polly and Grace have a frank exchange that is by turns tense, warm, charming and deadly and ultimately, woman to woman, honest. Polly intuits (way better than Tommy who has been thinking with his penis for episodes) some of Grace’s background (rich girl; Ulster Volunteer), and her opinions about her surroundings*. Grace gets to ask what Tommy was like before France and they connect briefly, because Polly sees how Grace really feels and understands it. They both love him, and recognise his extraordinariness, there is momentary compassion. After Polly has given the ultimatum - I run the business of the heart in this family and I will never accept you and if you’re not gone tomorrow I’ll shoot you (or something very similar, I’m rusty) - Grace also gets to deliver the final barb, and she’s right too when she tells Polly of her fear of losing him. Anyway, we learn quite a bit about Grace, and a bit about Tommy during this exchange (how many people have lost their minds to the line “He used to laugh. A lot.”? At least 98% of the fandom at last count). It is the ideal template for a parallel conversation in a different tone several years later - Gray and Shelby, hatpins at the ready, interpreting our dear protagonist and love and fear and loathing. Instead there was a suggestion that Polly has really let fly at Grace (“Tommy’s orders, no upsets tonight”), Grace’s handy expository monologue about the Russian business, her cheap shot about the power of her vagina to suck information out of him (“We were late coming down because we were having sex and then he told me everything”), and Polly trying to one-up her by telling her the final piece of the puzzle before the smug “remember I used to do this for a living.” Like the conversation in the first series, it’s about power (and don’t get me wrong I love that there are two female characters in this kind of dynamic) but that’s its limit, and that disappoints me because the characters have things in common (like, being desired by and shooting Campbell for example; wanting what is good for the family; actually knowing what it is to love Tommy and what a complicated business indeed that is; knowing how it is to work in a ‘man’s world’) that are richer and more interesting than their differences, yet it’s the differences that were emphasised.

AND ANOTHER THING. I’m not done with Polly yet. She is the emotion to Arthur’s lustful understanding. She ‘gets’ love: “Polly is never wrong about matters of the heart.” It is one of the first series’ most delightful twists that Polly, after chasing Grace out of town, gives Tommy the news that it was ‘for real,’ Grace did indeed love him. Perhaps this is cold comfort. Perhaps it is Polly’s way of telling him that his intuition wasn’t broken. And yet it is also Polly who tells Grace he might forgive her, giving hope she never imagined to have. Despite her threat in 1919, Polly is absolutely up to her neck in responsibility for allowing them to happen at all - I’m surprised Tommy hasn’t called a horse Polly’s Gift tbh - and I hoped S3 would acknowledge if not celebrate that fact. But it’s like SK only remembered the hatred and hardness. Beyond that, there’s this lowkey implication that Polly’s dislike for Grace colours her response to her death. Of all the characters, excepting Ada, Polly is the one who should have mined Tommy’s grief for the audience. But apparently Tatiana looks a little like Edna Purviance (Chaplin’s leading lady, you know?) to John and when you grieve you make bad choices. I mean. That’s it? Yep. That’s it. I know Tommy basically turned inwards and hardened his carapace to avoid descending completely into madness, but it is Polly’s job as a character to connect with emotion and empathise with grief, but she didn’t at all and it’s a bit baffling. Tommy is left wondering at the end of the series whether the family is worth all his effort, and Polly’s distance, brought on by her own romantic sub-plot and coolness towards Tommy’s chosen other half, is definitely part of that. But it feels cheap and thin when it could have been rich and gravy. (Just to clarify, while Tommy was definitely in no mood for a heart-to-heart she could still have been the audience’s anchor to the emotion in other ways, other conversations, actions. Polly doesn’t even mention Grace Shelby at the opening of the Institute bearing her name.)

OK, Ada. In my head, before the series began, I imagined Ada and Grace as warily respectful of each other and actually able to connect quite well. The biggest fly in their ointment is Grace’s responsibility for Freddie’s arrest in 1.04. But because it has never been mentioned since I’m not sure how it all fell; I’m also not convinced Ada wound up in a good place with Freddie before ‘pestilence’ took him so maybe that would colour her opinion too. They probably don’t see each other that much because Ada’s still largely committed to her cause in S3. Of all the characters, they are probably closest in terms of how they see Tommy - with hope and kindness (remember the way they both point out to him that he is loved on Derby Day?) - and, of all the characters, they are the two with reason to think this way. I wish I had heard a conversation between them because, like Polly’s, it could have been insightful.

Oh god and Lizzie and Tommy. I really dislike it. I really do. But it does seem to be endgame. I just consume vast quantities of whiskey before every episode now to deal with the pain. xx

*I have to point out that I’m not sure Grace exactly thinks the people of Small Heath are ‘scum,’ and also that Tommy sees himself as above them as well. Also while they are both loners, Grace is a loner in exile.

[totalfanfreak]

One of Three - Chapter 16

One of Three

Chapter 16 – If you’re Lost You Can Look and You’ll find Me

[Why did this take me so long? I swear, the further into the movie plot I get the more I struggle but…I wanted to get something out before all the winter festivities came. But thanks again to my betas – bleedingrose0688 and canadianjelly! Thank you for what you do with this project and basically hearing me ramble. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and for reading! Rainey Day Smiles I want to message you but the thing won’t let me but thank you!]

“Besides all the swelling, there’s nothing serious for you to worry about. You won’t be feeling too great alongside the minor bumps and bruises you received to your body, when the anesthetic wears off, your face is going to give you a moderate amount of pain. I can write out a prescription –“

“No, thank you.”

The three of them had been stuck at the hospital for hours, waiting, all Sera wanted to do was go somewhere and rest. Somewhere safe, and that in itself was going to be a task now, and narcotics tossed in wasn’t going to help.

She poked the brace on her nose, her whole face felt like it had been scraped through glass, but her nose got the worst of it. “If I’m clear I’d rather just go back to the lobby so I can make sure my guys are okay.”

The way the old doctor’s lip straightened in a hard line had her raising her chin.

“Yes, well, if I’m to recommend anything at all, young lady, it’d be for you to get away from whichever one did that to you.”

Her mouth gaped. “Doctor, you’re out –“

“I see it all the time, almost 24/7 here, and you may have thrown in a few good punches but they –“

“You’re wrong; whatever scenario you have thought up of us you’re wrong. It’s my fault they got hurt –“she gestured to her face – “but this, this had nothing to do with them.”

They stared hard at one another, the old man finally relenting with a sigh. “Just be careful, I really do see enough domestic violence in here that I don’t need you to add on to it.”

She pursed her lips. “Note taken, may I leave now?”

The doctor gave a curt nod, and she slipped out of the room before he could comment any further. She couldn’t say it was a five-star hospital, but it did have a lot of business. And as Murphy had said while they were driving away, they wouldn’t ask questions.

Just make bad assumptions, and stick their nose where it doesn’t belong.

She had wanted to stay and wait for Connor to be looked over, being taken back first with the most injury. But Murphy had pressed her to go on, that he’d make sure they both were taken care of. She was glad for it at this moment, wanting away from all the sick and hurt – nothing but misery in these halls.

Sera found both her boys in the main lobby; Connor laid back in a chair, exhausted, his wrists now bound in gauze. The leg that faced her quivered, she was surprised he hadn’t popped both his knees out of their sockets jumping from a damn roof. Murphy told her how he watched Connor jump while she had sobbed her apology, helping Murphy throw in the bag full of guns and wallets then Connor into her car. He had remained unconscious for the majority of the ride, barely coherent going in, but somehow here he was hurt – probably more so than he let on but alert and awake. Arms crossed with a small smile while he watched his brother sitting with a young boy on top of a gurney playing cards, while the boy gave pats to Shep between turns. She took note that both boys had bandages across their foreheads.

Her hand went for Connor’s shoulder, taking the seat beside him. “How are you doing, Conn?”

The smile stretched. “Doin’ fine, got da papers ta prove it.”

She nodded, her eyes drifting to the bloody robe. “Didn’t they think to give either of you some scrubs or something?”

He shrugged, not bothered by the stains. But she was – his blood, Murphy’s blood, the Russians’ blood. There was too much red mingling there. “I’m going to the nurses’ station.”

Connor tugged her back, and she was able to feel Murphy’s eyes on her.

“Don’t be doin’ that, aingeal.”

Her mouth had dried up, leaving it sticky and parched. “Do what?”

“Runnin’. We sure the hell ain’t.”

It was seeing them – like nothing was wrong. Yes, she would’ve been devastated if they were in a hospital bed, but this…the nonchalance of it as if it were no big deal that they had almost been killed. It made it that much more troubling.

“I’m not running. I just thought you two would want some clean clothes.”

“Rather have a smoke ta be honest.”

She snorted at Murphy. “We need to find somewhere safe for you guys to go.”

“Us.”

She fell back into the seat, hands going to her hair. “I want it to be that way, and we’ll keep it that way if that’s the way you want it. But this, the shit that just happened I can’t live in the daydream that the two of you will magically be okay through this. You nearly took a bullet to the head, Murphy,” she turned to Connor, “And you, you had to go and jump off a fucking roof.”

Connor sunk in his seat, his nose turned up: the scolded child. “Was protectin’ my brother.”

“I know. And you shouldn’t have had to. That’s the damn point I’m trying to make here.”

Murphy patted the boy’s shoulder before jumping off the gurney. “Too late fer that, told ye, yur stuck with us. Not leavin’ no matter what happens or shit ye say.”

She laid her head on the back of the chair. “I’m not saying anyone should leave. But you two need somewhere to recuperate for a while. And I need to figure what to do. We need somewhere safe to go.”

She was trying to be calm, to put her head on straight to know what to do and say. But she was floating, floundering if she were honest, because she had no idea what the hell to do. The only thing that was clear thudded in her ears like a heartbeat. They almost died. They could’ve died. They would’ve died. They’re going to die. All she could see was Connor on the asphalt, the gun pointed at Murphy while he scrambled with the toilet lid.

Holding back the tears, the pressure of them hurting her nose as she sniffled; sighing heavily, she felt an arm sling around her. Opening her eyes she turned to the owner.

“So what do we do, Murph?”

He gave a heartening smile, mole and cheek dimpling. She could feel the bandages that covered his fingers smoothing on her shoulder. It gave her the image of Murphy heaving the porcelain up, the rough cement inside digging into flesh each hit cutting him deeper. She gave the top of his hand a squeeze, head going to its place on his chest as he opened his mouth. Only to have Connor cut him off.

“Fuck ‘im, he don’t know what ta do.”

Eyes were narrowed with his brother’s brush off. “Fuck me? Fuck you and yer movie bullshit! Didn’t have no stunt double fer ye, did we? Better be rememberin’ who carried yer dumbass to da car. Ye ain’t like the girl; ye weigh as much as a walrus.”

“Oh, fuck ye, Murph!”

“Fuck ye, too!”

She shook her head, standing. “You both should be ashamed, cursing like that in front of a young child like that. I’ll be back.”

Connor reached for her. “Told ye, lass –“

“I’m not running, Connor. Not anymore. Even if you’re both okay with it, I…it’ll ease my mind if we get you into something else. I don’t like seeing –“she gestured at the scarlet stains. “That on you two.”

The boys nodded, solemn, making her reprimand herself for bringing them down. “How about you two come up with something, I may need to get Shep looked at. Stupid fuck kicked him.”

The boys grinned at her language. “Who should be ashamed, love?”

She snorted at them, walking away to the nurses’ station. Every light on the phone they had behind the desk flashing, each one jotting down something on a clipboard. Catching one she asked to be pointed in the direction where to get some scrubs, giving her name and how many so she wouldn’t bother them. She grabbed one of the shirt covers for herself, her top splattered from her nose as well as wiping Connor’s blood from her hands on it. She decided to toss her shirt in the trash when she changed out of it. She didn’t have a need to feel the sticky relic against her skin.

It was thin material, and she wished the boys had something to go over it. They were probably going to have to wear the robes out. She zipped up her own jacket, surprised when she turned the corner and saw Doc there. The elder man was hunched down patting Shep’s side. She smiled at him and the boy on that remained on the gurney before passing out the clothes.

Murphy grinned to her, gesturing to Doc. “’pparently da old man was holdin’ out on us.”

Connor chuckled. “Aye, came in and told him about da poor dog’s situation and says he used to be a vet back in Ireland.”

Her brows rose. “Really, Doc?”

He nodded, the movement more pronounced with the twitching in his face. “S’true sweetheart, came from a long line of farmers and the like; s-seemed ta fit that I take care of da animals t-t-there with them.”

“Then why did you decide to become a bartender here?”

Doc shrugged, Murphy lending a hand to help him stand. “T’was easier. Ye move to another country, they want ye ta s-s-spend extra money on their schoolin’. Didn’t have da money fer all of dat s-sh-s…Fuck! Decided ta just…t-ta…Ass! Easier ta play da part and open a bar. Used m-me savings and opened McGinty’s.”

She crossed her arms, nodding, her expression staid. That wasn’t fair, especially seeing how easy it was to see Doc fixing animals on a farm. Shep jumped on her side, scoping her to make sure she was alright. She smiled and scratched behind his ear. She heard Doc laugh.

“He’s fine, might be a tad sore, but nothin’ broken or need of care. May want ta give ‘im some c-c-c…baby as-as-Ass! Aspirin! Will help the pain just as well.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you so much, Doc. Who knows what Shep and me would have to do if you hadn’t shown up.”

Which begged the question…she turned to the boys. Murphy shrugged. “Ye wanted us ta come up with somethin’. We’ve been trying ta make one beforehand so we called Doc when you were gettin’ patched up.”

Her eyes went to Connor who was propped on the wall. “What are you thinking Doc can do?”

Murphy thrust the shopping bag up. “If it’s okay with him, hide this shit fer one. We’ll come after it when we’re done.”

Doc took the bag without question, making her eyes dart between the three. “When we’re done with what?”

“T-that’s what I was tellin’ these two, a man came to da bar today, gave me his card and wants ta speak ta all of ye.”

Connor held out the card letting her look it over. “So you want us to go to the police?”

“Was self-defense wasn’t it, aingeal?”

It wasn’t an actual question but she shrugged in answer. “From my experience the police aren’t much help in any of these matters. But if you guys think it’ll help…”

Doc took her shoulder, a fatherly gesture. “Dis man appeared ta know what he was doin’. Told dem here, he knew it was ye three defendin’ yerselves. He’s with da FBI might be worth takin’ a peek into, won’t hurtcha none besides.”

She patted his hand. “No, I suppose it wouldn’t. Thank you, Doc, for everything.”

“It’s no problem, lass. Can’t be losin’ me best customers now, c-c-c…Fuck! Ass! Can I?”

She smiled. “I’m sure you have better ones than them.”

“Hey!”

“Da fuck?”

She laughed at their expressions. Turning back to see Doc’s which had turned gentle.

“May be true, but at least it had a far better view since they started bringin’ ye in.”

She shook her head. “Oh, you Irishmen always turning on that charm. But get a few drinks in and all of you would confuse Roc with me.”

Connor balked. “One time, love, one time, and I was hammered beyond a fuckin’ nail.”

She grinned, turning to Doc and hugging him. “Be careful, those were the ones that came to the bar. But there could be more.” There’s always more. “I think I speak for all of us that we couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”

“Don’t be worryin’ after me, lass. Might look decrepit, but I can pull a trigger as fast as anyone.”

“Good.”

“Ye t-t-three just better be headin’ ta da…ta da…Fuck…Ass! Ye three be on yer way.”

They had clamored out to the car, Connor fussing and Murphy laughing that the former got sent out in a wheelchair. Her car was another thing to add to the list, though sturdy, the station wagon wasn’t exactly inconspicuous for around here. She needed a smaller car, especially if any of the Russians had pinpointed it. But that was something for later.

Connor wanted to sit in the front with his brother, but she wasn’t having it. If she could when they got through at the station she wanted them both to get cleaned up and rest for a few days. She felt awful for both of them…But Connor right now, she was able to see his wounds the gash in his hairline, the bandages on his wrists, she wanted to help deal with him. Murphy…poor Murphy, his wounds would be internal, sure he had scrapes and his hands, but she knew he was processing that he had to take a man’s life today. Yes, it was in self-defense, he was protecting himself as well as his brother, but she knew it would haunt him somehow.

“Ye gonna sing me a song, aingeal?”

The only way Connor would lay in the back was if she was back here too. With his head in her lap she stroked his face. “I don’t think either of you would care for damaged ears.”

“Come on, love, fill the silence fer us.”

She could hear muffling and knew Murphy was speaking around his thumb. He was nervous, maybe scared, and it hurt. Situating Connor, she took off the seat belt to maneuver herself so she could fit an arm around the headrest letting her fingers run through Murphy’s scalp while simultaneously keeping a hand on Connor’s.

“סלאַמער אויף מיין טייַער אָנעס; שלאָפן אין שלום די גאנצע נאַכט דורך. טאַקעד אַוועק זיכער אין דיין בעדז. בשעת מלאכים וואַך אָוווערכעד, נאָענט ענג די אויגן פון בלוי. אַי עס ליו לי לו.” [Slumber on my precious ones; sleep in peace the whole night through. Tucked away safe in your beds. While angels watch overhead, close tight those eyes of blue. Ai li lu li lu.]

She smiled at the serene expression on Connor’s face, Murphy’s shoulders slumping in the seat like he had been soothed.

“See, knew it’d be a lovely thing ta hear.”

She moved her hand, cupping Murphy’s scratchy cheek in her palm, hearing Connor hum in agreement. “I think those doctors gave you both too many painkillers.”

“Ye know we wouldn’t lie to you. No point in dat. Sound better than our Ma, doesn’t she, Murph?”

“Aye.”

She bent down to kiss Connor’s forehead, the three remaining silent after that, giving him time to fall asleep. She knew they were almost there, but she needed that time with Murphy, to let him know that his trauma hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Murph, you want to talk to me?”

“About what, love?”

His voice was too chipper, close to being forced. She tried to scoot closer, to hold him tighter. “I’m so sorry what you both had to go through. Seeing Connor the way he was, the way he is, I was terrified for him. I thought I lost him. But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared for you too. What you had to do…I know about that hurt. I just don’t want you to pull away, don’t feel it alone, okay?”

She could see his hands trembling on the steering wheel. “I’d never in a million years admit it ta anyone else. But I was fuckin’ scared.”

“It’s okay to be.”

“It wasn’t even about dyin’. I was afraid of not being there ta help Conn, to help you.”

“Oh, Murph.”

“Then ta see Conn’s stupid ass flyin’ down, I knew he was a fuckin’ goner. But he was breathin’ and so was that other fucker. I’d do it again, Seraphine, over and over if I had ta. The only regret is that ye had to fight that bastard by yerself. God forgive me fer it, but I’d be fine with killin’ all of ‘em.”

She wanted to tell him she had Shep, to tell him not to say things like that, to not want that. But he was in autopilot, survival mode, and she wouldn’t be able to tear those thoughts from him for a while. She could only be there to comfort him. So she clung to him from behind, feeling a hand come over her arm to squeeze back. They remained that way until they pulled up to the station’s steps.

“Yer gonna hafta help me ye dumbass!”

“Fuck ye, should leave yer ass here!”

There was no way Connor could walk up those stairs on his own, but his bedside manner was grating on his brother, especially with him throwing orders around. She rubbed Murphy’s back, trying to calm the tension out of the muscles.

“Afraid they’ll want to interview him too, Murph. Or I might be with you on that.”

“I can’t help that I can’t walk!”

“Well, I could go on about refraining from jumping from buildings. But, yeah, I know, Connor, we’ll help you. But you’re going to have to be less grouchy with your brother.”

“Grouchy? Ye talkin’ like I’m two.”

She shrugged. “Well –“

His reply was a glare. They were able to make it, Sera sweating rivers from trying to take the brunt of the weight. Even with Connor’s help he was so heavy, muscles, tendons, and bone taking him down.

“I swear to God, we’re finding you a bed after this Connor MacManus.”

There were two – “Lord’s name –“in reply.

“Don’t be swearin’ to da Lord for Connor’s stupid ass.”

“Aye, wouldn’t take much ta get me inta bed withcha again besides.”

She wanted to elbow that snarky grin from his face but entering the building she could hear men arguing back and forth.

“They’re scared like two little bunny rabbits. Anyone in a uniform or flashing blue lights is going to spook them. So the only thing to do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston. Thanks for coming out.”

Her blood heated. “Oh, fuck your racist bullshit, asshole!”

The boys sniggered, Murphy piping in. “You’d have better luck with a beer.”

Connor grinned grasping their shoulders tighter. “Aye, they would.”

Many of the officers came to shake hands with the guys, letting her ease herself into the backdrop. She didn’t want to be here, what were they going to do anyways? Protect them? They had their chance with that, and failed. Maybe she was a scared rabbit now. The police were nothing more than an obstacle when it came to safety. And with the man she assumed was the head honcho approaching them after scrutinizing her from across the room, she felt tenser than ever.

“If we’re done with the tea party folks, I’d like to get them into interrogation.”

The men relented patting the boys on the back one last time before they were escorted to a private room.

“Can I get you three anything before we start? Coffee? Water? There’s a few boxes of doughnuts left from this morning if you’d like.”

The boys ambled at the chairs; three that were backed to the wall, Murphy pulled the one in the middle out for her. She was reluctant to take it, wanting to remain standing but she couldn’t say no to the humble gesture. They gave them own inspection of the man while they pulled out their own.

“Aye, coffee and doughnuts sound mighty good.”

“A cigarette too, if there’s one ta offer.”

She took note of the mindful way they were speaking. They remained kind, jovial, but were just as wary as her. The man came back in when they had taken their seats beside her, holding out a box and drink tray. There was no sugar, and she didn’t feel like asking, but the hot liquid was welcome since she had something to do with her hands. The same was solved when the man held out a silver case containing cigarettes; she shook her head when it came to her. They thanked him while lighting up, tossing the box between them, again she declined but was giving a powdered cake regardless.

“Gotta eat, love.”

Her stomach knotted at the thought, but picked at it for them.

“Now that we’re all situated, how about we introduce ourselves? If you haven’t guessed, I’m Paul Smecker. I left my card with your friend at the bar.”

Connor nodded. “Aye, ‘m Connor, this is me brother Murphy, and this is our girl Seraphine.”

She watched Smecker jot their names on his notepad, pausing to look back up at them. “Last names.”

“MacManus.”

“All three of you?”

He was staring at her, and she kept her gaze steady. “Shafir.”

He gave a small chuckle. “Doesn’t sound very Irish, sweetheart.”

She held back a glare. “It’s possible there’s some floating in my DNA somewhere. I’m mainly Polish, you know, lightbulbs, and how many people.”

“Just with your little outburst –“

“I’m not fond of stereotypical biases, Mr. Smecker. And, for the record, I’ve studied the Irish culture enough to say that making fun of a time, like the potato famine, when a million people died is kind of trashy, wouldn’t you say? But I don’t think you want me to turn this into a history lesson.”

The calculation that Smecker’s eyes held diminished, staying professional but more genial. “I enjoy history very much, but I’m more interested in the kind that’s relatively recent. If it’s alright, I’d like to begin. This conversation will be recorded; all I want is for you to answer to the best of your knowledge.”

Murphy held his hand out to pause him. “Excuse me, sir. Just give us a second before that.”

He peered at his brother first. “Quid enim ad eum de guns et pecunia?” [What do we tell him about the guns and money?]

She couldn’t tell what he said, but she knew it was a question. Connor, unfazed, shrugs him off. “Et nos iustus got reliquit. bum musta et surrexit ante vigilum advolvit ibi.” [We just got up and left. Bum musta rolled them before the police got there.]

Murphy gaze went to her then, switching to his native tongue. “Cad mar gheall ort, aingeal? Cé mhéad atá ag iarraidh a fhios aige?” [What about you, angel? How much are you wanting him to know?]

Her head lowered, flicking her eyes between them. “Ag brath. Cad a cheapann tú? Ar cheart dom a bheith i muinín air?” [Depends. What do you think? Should I trust him?]

Connor chimed in then. “Is fearr a thabhairt dó na freagraí a bhfuil sé ag iarraidh a dhéanamh dó, ansin téann muid as ann leis.” [Best to give him the answers he's wanting, then we go from there with it.]

They all nodded, Murphy turning back to Smecker. “Okay. We’re ready.”

“None of you are under oath here. But I’m going to assume you knew these guys.”

Connor nodded, putting another chunk of doughnut in his mouth. “Yeah, they introduced themselves the other night.”

“They had some…interesting bandages on, any of you know something about that?”

The boys turned to one another before giving their rendition of that night, nixing out the part about the picture and the exchange from it. Her brain went elsewhere, hearing and visualizing what happened to them, her throat burning with despair at hearing the fear hiding in Connor’s voice. So scared at how close he had been at losing his brother. The same fear pivoting to Murphy when his brother crash landed, it went to the point where she could relive it until Smecker tried to draw her attention back.

“What about you?”

She gave a pointed look. “What about me?”

“There were three men, from hearing this they took on two. That leaves one, and from the nail marks and bite wounds I can take a guess that the loner came at you. Correct?”

“Yes, and yes I was there. But I panicked when those fuckers started getting riled up. I have epilepsy, which is why I have my dog with me at all times, but the panic triggered enough anxiety that I had a small seizure causing me to collapse. I wasn’t too involved with that part of the mess.”

Wow, what a liar you are.

“But the after - ?”

She exhaled. “I was woken early by my dog needing to go out. I was walking him when I was ambushed. I wasn’t even able to croak half a scream before he threw me into an alley. But with the time and the place it wouldn’t have mattered if I hollered myself hoarse. No one was out there, and even if so, no one would’ve helped.”

Smecker’s mouth gaped in disbelief. “Why do you believe that? People seeing someone in distress have more compassion than you may realize.”

“I’m not saying they don’t care at all, sir. But in that neighborhood it’s better to mind your own business or yours and your family’s safety could be compromised. I don’t blame anyone for that, I’m just stating fact.”

Smecker waved for her to continue, but she shrugged. “Haven’t you guessed the rest? I fought back, there was a point where I could’ve gotten away but he attacked Shep for defending me –“

“Shep is?”

She pointed to the sheltie that lied under the table. “From someone else’s perspective it wasn’t a smart move, but he wasn’t going to kill my dog. I pounced on his back to get him to stop when he flipped me to the ground. I kicked him between the legs to give me some time, but he yanked me back causing,” she motioned to her face, “this to happen. I-I don’t know what he was about to do the way he had me in place, but my dog had come back, and, again, he protected me. This time I was able to get my switchblade out and defend myself when he came at me.”

Smecker leaned forward. “You stabbed him twice.”

“Yes.”

“From the coroner’s report the wound to his neck was fatal enough, so why stab him again?”

Her teeth clenched, the questions causing the acid in her stomach to bubble. “Because he was still standing, are you saying it was wrong to defend myself?”

He shook his head. “Not at all, Ms. Shafir, I know that the three of you had to use force to stay alive. But I was trained to see things not everyone can, and from that wound I could see a lot of anger put in there.”

“He attacked me, he attacked my dog, and I knew he had people attacking my boyfriends, am I not justified in that emotion?”

He nodded a small smile tugging. “You are. I just believe it’s more personal than you want me to believe.”

She smirked back. “I’m sure you hate to hear this but you’re wrong.”

He laughed then. “That could be a possibility, but I hardly ever am, Ms. Shafir.”

She nodded slowly. It wasn’t conceit, it was truthful. She could tell there were more questions he wanted to ask, an expectant gleam in his eyes, he might’ve gotten around to asking them if one of the policemen hadn’t charged in.

“Sorry to disturb you, sir, but we got a problem.”

Smecker flicked his cigarette, sighing in exasperation. “What is it?”

The officer pointed behind him. “The press is everywhere out there. They’re going nuts for these guys. What do we do?”

Smecker’s eyes went to her before sliding over to both of the boys. “None of you are being charged. You want to talk to them?”

Her answer was immediate. “No.”

Connor soon joined her. “Absolutely not.”

“No pictures either.”

Bless you, Murphy. They didn’t need that on them either.

“We could walk you three out with bags over your head.”

She made eye contact with Connor before he shook his head. “Our mother can see through bags.”

Murphy licked his lips and nodded, the apprehension in his face told her the realization of their mother had just come to him. “Aye, she can…There any way we can stay here?”

Sera coughed on an escaped laugh as the officer’s eyes brightened, excitement taking over his features. “Sure, there’s an empty holding cell here. You can…can they stay?”

He asked that like a child asking a parent to let their friend spend the night and she shook her head in amusement. The boys seemed to think it was funny as well, huddling closer to her to hold in their snickers.

“We’ll have to check with your mom, but it’s all right with me if your friends sleep over.”

That got them then, the two busting out in a cackle. The officer flushed in embarrassment, leaving the room while Smecker stood.

“If there’s anything else you’d like to add, I’ll be here for a while; plenty of paperwork to keep me for the week while we wrap this up.”

His gaze wasn’t pointed at any of them, but she knew it was directed at her. When no one answered he grabbed his coat. “Well, time to feed the dogs.”

Murphy had went to make a phone call to Roc asking him to bring them all some clothes, while she and Connor were guided to the cell. She didn’t know what the codes were, but the cell couldn’t have been up to them. Two flimsy cots with barely a tissue cloth mattress stood side by side, a constant draft and wetness as moisture gathered on the wall, there was even a crack going up it splintering wider as it went.

She grimaced. “We could find somehow to get out of here. Wait for everyone to disperse, a back entrance…something.”

Connor cleared his throat. “We weren’t expectin’ ye ta stay, aingeal.”

She turned to him, perplexed. “What do you mean? I already said I’m not running, Connor. I know I’ve been flighty, but it’s just that I want you two safe.”

He put his hand over hers, smiling. “We know that, we want ye safe too. Which is why we’re gettin’ you out and havin’ ye stay with Rocco for da night.”

“What? No. I’m not leaving you two here in this dingy cage –“

Connor started to talk over her. “You’ll be safe with him, and we’ll have time to come up with a solution –“

“We need to focus on it together, not just –“

“This way you’ll have a breather, and not be –“

“One at a time works better!”

They both turned to Murphy, Sera’s eyes narrowing in on him. “You’ve decided this along with him, right? You both stay here, and leave me on my own?”

Murphy chewed the inside of his cheek. “Ye won’t be on yer own, Roc will keep a lookout for ye. I mean…ye know it’s not because we don’t want ye here.” He scouted the room. “I mean we don’t want ye in this kind of place, but we’re doing this fer you. Seeing how they were out there, the press outside…if ye stayed –“

“What’re you talking about, Murph?”

“Besides Smecker, everyone else out there believes we’re the only ones involved with this. Or the most think you were there but weren’t the main one to stick up ta anything. Three men down while two standin’ they’re not puttin’ much thought to ye right now, and we want ta keep it that way.”

Her mouth gaped. She hadn’t thought that much into it, but the way the men at the precinct behaved, they had believed it was the boys to take the Russians down. That all these steps they were thinking of her. “I’m sorry, I should’ve known you had your reasons. But I still would feel bad leaving you both here… in this.”

Murphy stepped beside her, squeezing her shoulder. “Eh, our first place was way worse than this. Plus we’ll have the guys waiting on us while we’re here, be like room service. Don’t worry about us, love, it’s just til mornin’ and we’ll meet up have us some breakfast and make a plan.”

She coughed a laugh, going in to hug him. “You know it’s kind of sad this is the first time we’ve really been apart since I moved in with you two.”

Connor snorted. “And why’s that supposed ta be sad? Were ye raring ta get away from us?”

“You know that’s not it, I just never pictured myself as the clingy girlfriend.”

“Ain’t clingy, we’d tell ye if ye were. We like ta keep ye close with us.”

Connor kissed her forehead. “While we’re waiting fer Rocco, how bout we get a card game goin’? Get us a few cigarettes stocked for da night.”

They had won several hands and a few packs of cigarettes before Rocco arrived. Cheers erupting from the boys when they were given a much warmer bundle of clothing, grins unfolding when Roc revealed their rosaries from around his neck.

His eyes wandered to her, and he nearly jumped back. “Damn, honey, what the hell happened to you?”

Murphy scoffed. “What ye think happened?”

He shimmied up to her, hands in his pockets. “I kept yours in my car, I promised the guys not to look at any of your delicates so I just shoved a bunch of shit in a bag.”

She laughed. “That’s fine, Roc.”

She turned to the boys, already tossing off the thin tops for their faded t-shirts. “I guess we’ll see you in the morning.”

It came out as more of a question and they smiled at her. “Aye, ye will.”

“Yeah, Roc will take care of ye, and if he doesn’t we’ll kick his ass.”

Rocco took one of the loose cigarettes they had one from the table. “Yeah, yeah, if I had all the hot air you two have I’d be able to make it to China and back.”

Connor’s face grew stern. “Just keep her safe fer da night Roc, and don’t be tryin’ anything.”

“Aye, twist yer balls off if we hear ye did.”

Rocco flung his hands up. “I ain’t gonna try anything! Jesus!”

“Lord’s name.”

The three turned to her and she couldn’t hide the smirk that came. The boys laughed with her. And with one final kiss to each of them and another threat on Rocco’s balls she followed him out of the precinct. She wasn’t going to say anything but the neighborhood was as rough as Connor and Murphy’s only now it was Italian instead of Irish. She was afraid this may put her in a disadvantage since she didn’t know the language. Unlike the loft, this was an actual apartment complex, many people shimmying by them to get to or from their homes.

“Gotta say, it’s not the greatest place…or the cleanest it’s probably a step up than how those botchagaloops of yours lived before meeting you though. Just don’t be thinkin’ me or Donna keep it like –“

“It’s fine, Roc, I really appreciate you letting me stay the night.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’d do anything to help you guys out.”

Giving him a one-armed hug, she uttered her thanks while being ushered into the apartment. She didn’t know what he was worried about. It wasn’t dirty, only lived in. Several empty bottles on the dining table, couch cushions sunk in, a few dishes in the sink, and a –

“Is that a cat?”

On cue the cat meowed, causing her to glance at Shep, his ears folding back.

“Yeah, it’s kind of Donna’s, your dog won’t like…kill it, will he?”

“No, my sister had a cat, Shep’s more traumatized of them than anything else so he’ll avoid it.”

Rocco chuckled. “You don’t sound too fond of them either.”

She smiled in reply. “I guess not, I’ve always been parcel of dogs. I’m a loyalist at heart.”

He set her bag by the couch, motioning for her to follow through the dining room to the kitchen.

“We don’t have much, but you’re welcome to it.”

“Thanks, Roc, not too hungry right now though. Might need to go and pick something up for Shep, unless you packed his food in there.”

He looked over his shoulder from the cupboards, sheepish with tinged cheeks. “Uh, no, didn’t think of that. But listen, I didn’t tell the guys this cause I know they’d freak, I got something to take care of for my boss. Shouldn’t take an hour or two, I can get something for you both then.”

“That’s kind of you, but I could probably pop out and get us –“

“No!”

She jumped at the raised volume, the cat scurrying away under the table.

He ran his hand through his hair. “Sorry, I got an earful of what would happen if I let you out anywhere.”

“Oh, did you?”

“Uh, yeah?”

She felt a little bad, the way he sounded it was like he expected her to beat him with a rolled up newspaper.

She gave a half smile. “Any other rules I should know about?”

He smiled back. “Nah, most were aimed at me anyways…so will you be alright here? Donna shouldn’t be back tonight, hell she’s been out for a few days so who knows what she’s up in. But you can have the bed, take a shower or something, and lie down - put some ice on that honker of yours til I get back. I-I can leave ya a gun or something if it’d make you feel safer.”

He had said it all in an offhand way, and though he wanted to keep it in there Sera caught the concern he had about his girlfriend. “You don’t have to do that Rocco. I’m more worried about inconveniencing you than anything else –“

“You’re not, hell like I said it’s just been me and the cat. Maybe he can crawl up your ass while you’re here instead of following me around.”

“Yeah, well, I said my sister had a cat. Not me. I like all animals, but I’m not too in like with the feline kind. Does it have a name?”

Rocco snorted. “Thought all girls liked cats…but no, Donna’s usually too fucked up to call it anything and I just call it cat.”

“No, we don’t all automatically like cats, they scratch, hiss, and stare at you like they’ll murder you…like now look at IT!”

She huddled back behind Roc, the cat’s green eyes narrowed into slits, ears turned back in aggression. Shep’s front paws kept tapping as he got nervous.

Rocco laughed. “I’ll throw him out if you want but he ain’t gonna do shit to you. Probably hungry, I got him some stuff, so I’ll feed him before I take off. You want anything particular to eat?”

“Not really. Though Shep prefers beef to any other dog food. But if you’re willing you can pick a few more ingredients I can fix us breakfast in the morning, and whatever you want for supper as a thank you.”

“You don’t gotta be doin’ all that.”

“But I want to Roc.”

“I won’t argue with you then. Can tell by how fat those two fucks are gettin’ that’d I’d be stupid to pass it up. If you’re settled in I’ll take off. Like I said it’ll just be a few hours.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be here.”

He went in like he was going to hug her, then thought better of it and pulled back. Making her laugh and pull him back in.

“You’re a good friend Rocco.”

He blushed twisting his keys before heading to the door, waving on his way out. Alone she went and sat on the couch, Shep folded himself against it, remaining wary of the cat as he laid his head on her thigh. She wasn’t sure she liked this. She had gotten used to people again, the boys always making noise, talking, hitting, laughing. Now there was silence. Trying not to be intrusive Sera looked around the apartment. It was snug, cozy, in its own way, there was a tv in the bedroom, but she had decided she would take the couch. Besides not wanting to burden him, she didn’t really want to sleep where Rocco was getting laid in. He was right when there wasn’t anything in the cabinets a few odd cans of beets and green beans but nothing substantial. She never understood this, if men loved to eat so much how come they never had groceries stocked? It was bizarre to her.

She almost shrieked when the cat bumped her leg, rubbing its face on her ankle. Rocco had been in a hurry and forgot about the hungry creature, so she went about fiddling in the bottom shelfs until she found the bag Rocco was talking about and scooped it some food. Its basic desire sated she walked out of the kitchen with an eye on the cat. Sure, it was an irrational thing, but try being a kid giving a cat a bath. She stayed away from them after that. Finding a record playing to flipped through the options before settling on an old Frank Sinatra, hearing the scratching as the needle started to circle she continued to wander when Blue Eyes started the vocals.

‘It's very clear   Our love is here to stay   Not for a year     But ever and a day.’

Patting her hand on her hip to the rhythm she watched the sun begin to disappear, clouds beginning to move in. It was going to rain, hard if the dark grey was any indication. She was nervous, a bumbling pile of nerves that needed to be worked out. Thinking of her mother and the way she passed the time, she found a bucket and threw in some soap and scalding water and set to work around the house. She wondered if the poor woman felt this way all the time, her mom had always been constantly moving, never satisfied doing nothing. Work was her meditation, and the house and her family were her yoga. Sera was surprised the woman hadn’t had a stroke. Adding a finishing touch she threw a crocheted afghan over the couch, the cat making her stumble backwards as it jumped on it. It kneaded the arm of the seat, starring at her with hooded eyes almost begging to be touched.

Len’s cat did the same, and though, with her sister’s forgetfulness, Sera would be the one to feed it, the thing would always lash at her – grabbing her hand in its paw with nails sunk in to bring it to its mouth, giving a small lick before chomping. Her sister had named it Hippo, it was gray with blue eyes and a very pink nose, it had been sweet as a kitten but as it grew bigger and wider it became more vicious to the hand that fed it. It was like each pound it gathered more meanness entered him. This cat was half Hippo’s size, she knew if needed Shep would be no help, the dog remembering enough about the claws to stay out of it. But against better judgement she stuck her hand out for it to sniff, rubbing its cheek along her hand when it got her scent. It stretched out, yawning, nails embedded in the fabric while it walked along having her hand touched its back and along its tail before coming back to repeat.

“You’re not so bad, are you?”

It blinked, continuing to purr. Thinking to quit while she was ahead she pulled away, sighing, it was reaching the hour mark. Perhaps she’d take Roc on his offer – when cleaning the bathroom she wanted to moan at the sight of the bathtub. After getting used to taking showers, nothing sounded better than a good soak.

“Are you going to stay with the cat, Shep?”

The answer was a hard no when he scampered off the floor, paws sliding back off the hardwood to go after her. Turning the water on to let it heat, Sera gathered some towels, and found some bubble bath in the cabinet. Putting in the stopper, she swooshed her hand in the water to get the bubbles going, the smell of something akin to lavender and jasmine hitting her she stripped down, Shep taking ownership of the discarded clothing as he made his bed from them.

Pinning her hair up, she got in, soaking up to her shoulders in the hot water. Sera moaned low, the heat working its way into her bones, the stiffness fading. She laid her head back on the rim, watching the water rippling each time she moved. The tenseness was still there, she felt awful that the boys were staying in a cell tonight; she felt terrible what they had to do to even end up there in the first place. She slid further in the water, the smell of flowers taking her elsewhere. There were too many things to dwell on, and she needed to push forward. They would have to be better armed, better prepared for when this happened again. Bringing her hands up to her face she was surprised by how wrinkled her fingers had become, sudsing her hands she washed herself being wary of her nose before rinsing and climbing out of the tub. It did make her feel better, sloughing off the day, her muscles less achy and bundled, her bones more lax.

She was becoming concerned about Rocco, the storm had blew in now, the pitter patter hard against the windows making it hard to see anything outside. Who was she to call for him? He left no number, Sera was sure he had a pager but she had no idea the number for that either. Plus he was a grown man, the timeframe given wasn’t set in stone, she didn’t have any reason to worry for him. Going through the fridge she found a lone egg and a piece of bologna that was getting rubbery around the edges. She fried it, making sure to clean the skillet, before splitting the egg with Shep. She divvied out the meat between him and the cat who looked pleased to be included in the meal. She decided on some hot water to drink down with her food to keep the warmth inside her, before settling down on the couch. Throwing the afghan over her legs, Shep bounded up to curl between her legs, nestling between the cushions she gasped when the cat jumped to lay on the back. Tentatively she reached out to stroke its cheek. Shep whined, his jealousy coming out she smiled and let her other hand scratch his neck.

“What do you think, Shep? Should we give him a name?”

Shep exhaled deeply, muzzle on her knee not giving a care either way.

“I don’t know much about you, but you’re kind enough – how about Gus? It seems to fit enough, like an old man that only looks grumpy but has a good heart.”

The cat only purred in answer, eyes closed and ready to sleep.

Her hands fell away, going back under the covers to be warm in a familiar cocoon.

“Fine, Gus it is then.”

Remember now, weak can mean many things – it can be someone who lacks physical strength, a low standard, not convincing, um…

A coward.

Yes! A coward.

But I wasn’t a coward was I?

“I wasn’t weak, was I, Sera?”

Her heart pounded, not just by the voice but by the question, and she struggled to keep her eyes closed. The voice continued to go on, as if not wanting an answer.

“Even when we were little it was like I had to try harder than you both to prove it. Like when you and Sapphire wanted to camp out in the tree fort Popop built for us. I didn’t want to, was terrified of what would happen to us in the dark, but I went with you. I kept telling myself that you’d both protect me, you and him always protected me. Looking back, it was rather silly to be afraid, but it’s in our nature to fear the unknown. But we made it, didn’t we? Only…” The voice was trying to stifle a giggle. “Only it ended with me losing step on the ladder and fumbling down on top of you. I broke my arm and you broke your ankle. Oh, you were so upset with me, Sera…”

The voice stopped, as if pondering. Sera wanted to open her eyes, but this…illusion, hallucination, whatever it was; she didn’t want it to stop.

“I couldn’t be like either of you, and when mom…after her, I didn’t want to be like them, do you see? You said it once yourself, we couldn’t turn into them. They liked the blood they had on their hands, but I didn’t want to dirty them at all. I couldn’t understand what made them so evil, they were like us once – they were children, they had a family, went to school, rode bikes, and had romances. What changed them? And did it change us? I think it changed you, Sera. Especially when I…we don’t have to go into that. But did it make me weak? To not want to kill them? To rather run, and stay away than face them? He’s made me see now that it won’t stop, not until he’s gone and been judged and put away from here. He’s telling your new, uh, friends about that. But He’s letting me talk to you. You used to call me crazy when I said He talked to me…not crazy, you and Sapphire both wouldn’t say anything but I knew you never believed me about it. When you said I was weak, that I was giving up…after everything that I told you. Don’t be afraid; don’t be afraid to let yourself feel something, to be happy just because we’re not there with you. Because we are, in a way, I think it’s because we were made that way, while being molded inside of mom, but I can feel you. Lately your joy, that giddy feeling of falling in love, I’m so happy about that, Sera, happy for you. It’s made me smile for days. But I feel your fear and your sadness too. That pulsing rage that hasn’t died since the bridge, yes, I saw it. I saw you there. I don’t mean to sound petty, but – weren’t you weak then? Didn’t you give up? Oh, heavens I do sound wretched…I just – it hurt so much when you said that, and I wanted to prove you wrong, the both of you wrong so that’s why I did it. Why I didn’t say anything. I wanted to be the one to save you for once. But He was right, yet I did do it. And what I did, knowing what would happen, I’m here to say it wasn’t a weakness, it was agape if it were anything, Seraphine.”

“You were never weak, Len.”

Her voice was strangled, and she noticed the talking had ceased, opening her eyes slightly, she saw her sister’s silhouette. “Hi.”

She saw that small smile only Selene could give. “Hi.”

She felt hot tears streaking her cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

Selene shook her head. “Why? Weren’t you listening? It was my decision – I would do it over and over if I had to. I-I just wish you and Sapphire were still together.”

“Me too. I suppose he believes he’s protecting me. The same as I did to you. I pushed you away when you needed me. When you confided those dreams to me, hurt you thinking it would erase the possibility of it happening and, at the same time, make you stronger. But it doesn’t, does it? I know it shattered me when he left. I’m sorry if I made you feel like that, I’ve never stopped being sorry for it. Sorry for not seeing the sudden change in you, especially up to the moment on those steps, that look in your eyes…why couldn’t I see something was wrong? I wanted so bad for it to be over that I stopped seeing the signs of danger. I wish I would’ve done more…I regret so much, and I can’t do anything about it. I’m just sorry, I’m sorry Selene, it should’ve been me –“

She felt the cold ghost of her hand brush through her hair, knuckles pressed to her cheek. “I told you, it wasn’t for you. You’re meant for more here, Sapphire is meant for more here…me, I was meant for greater things elsewhere. And I like it there, I miss you, both of you, but you’re still with me as I am with you. Just know that I am happy, Sera, we all are, and let yourself be happy knowing that. It’s time you let the magic come back. You said you wanted to find it again; it doesn’t have to be snake oil anymore. God sent you in the arms of good men to prove that to you. Just let your mind have it, it’s not just stories, but a reality, a way of life that can bring us joy and safety. You’ll be safe again one day, and you’ll see.”

“I-I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t be the last one, Len. It’s selfish, but I can’t be alone. I’d rather rot in the ground than be stuck here by myself.”

Selene’s bottom lip pursed, smile intact. “But you wouldn’t be alone you –“

“I already have to this without you, but I can’t…not with Sapph gone too.”

Selene let out a knowing giggle, the sound making Sera’s spine tingle in the familiarity. “Oh, Sera, you know, I always thought it was our brother that was bad at making quick assumptions –“ Sera’s head tilted to look at her sister stooping down. Those gold flecks in such similar evergreen eyes glinting at her. She wanted to reach out, touch her, hug her, not let her get away, but she was too frozen, in shock and fear that the apparition would disappear. “I did say you’d be the last of us remaining, but I never did say when. You only assumed it meant now, during this, but who’s to say it’s not 30, 40, or 100 years down the road? You need to quit being so dismal in your thinking. The Lord knows what and how much we can handle. Let him guide you in that. Put the fear of loss aside, Sera, let it make you strong again.”

She felt Selene’s lips on her temple, warmth rushing to her entirety. “You were always the strong one, please know that, Len.”

“As long as you know that there is good and good people out there, know that you are one of them.”

Sera nodded, opening her eyes to a dark room.

“Len?”

Shep sat back to let her up, it was real, that had been real. She felt her sister here.

And you thought I was crazy.

She had, all those premonitions of Len’s were merely her imagination, but now…She went over to turn the lamp on, finding no trace of the interaction that had occurred.

“Oh, Shep.”

It hurt - the loss again, but it was also a good ache. It was hope.

Searching the bedroom she saw Rocco had not returned and though she was concerned she was also fueled. Peeking out the large windows she saw the storm had moved on. Another sign.

“Let’s go for a walk, Shep.”

Up for it, he barked, frantically speeding in circles for her to hurry and attach the leash. She still had the pocketknife Murphy had given her, under forensics the blood probably remained, but she had washed it with bleach after washing Roc’s dishes the steel now as shiny as the day it was purchased. Putting it in her pocket she wrapped her coat around her, flipping the hood in case it was drizzling. It was an aimless walk, letting Shep lead her until she felt she was at their destination. She kept her focus, around her, the slickness of the ground, a few cars honking at one another at the intersection, a group laughing outside one of the restaurants. After crossing the street several, zig-zagging across the city, she felt her legs tiring; Shep had begun to pant heavier as well.

“We need to rest, boy.”

He tugged her forward, her eye catching on a steeple, stained glass windows greeting her. It had to be past midnight, but it appeared the place was open.

Gripping her jacket tighter, she relented. “May as well.”

It was open, a few wary souls like her wandering here to pray. She let her legs buckle as she took a seat in one of the empty pews. The smell of wood and incense wafted up to her, relaxing her, and she let herself doze in peace. Her mind going over her own revelation, her sister – she admitted to herself that she felt so light, a heavy burden diminished. It wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t God’s fault. And though it would be easy to keep the blame on those that waved their guns, she held back, seeing them as Len had – as people. Bad people, but still human. Finally, she felt cleansed, she felt real again. Maybe the magic was coming back to her.

“I know you.”

She startled, jerking up to see a man staring at her. Well, not just a man, but a priest, and she had seen them before.

“Yes, you came to speak at my boyfriends’ church.”

The man smiled. “That’s right, Macklepenny, I think I can say that I’ve never seen many people bring in their dog with them to the services.”

“Uh, he’s a service dog, no pun intended there, sir. But I take him with me everywhere, if you need to see my card –“

The priest held up his hands. “Oh, no, no, I wasn’t trying to make any accusation. I’ve never seen it though, but I love dogs, he’s a beauty too.”

Shep stood prouder, as if he understood, making Sera smile and stroke him. “He is, and loyal.”

Macklepenny nodded briskly. “I hope I may be forward in saying I haven’t seen many men stand at the services either, from what you said you are taken with one of them then?”

She blushed, the technicality in her grammar must have made it singular, but she wasn’t going to correct it. “Yessir, I hope you don’t take offense of it, they’re both very devout to their faith and to the church. I was a bit stunned by it as well at first but no one there seems to mind.”

“No! I’m sorry, I keep putting this in a bad light…I was honestly quite surprised by it but when it was explained to me I understood. No just the three – or the four of you isn’t something that I see often. It’s a breath of fresh air to me.”

She laughed. “I’m glad then.”

“So how about you?”

“Um, how about me what?”

“You said the gentlemen were devout, but you never mentioned yourself.”

She petted Shep to calm her. “I’m getting better at it, I had a bit of an epiphany tonight which I guess was the guidance to bring me here. But I – I hope you don’t…well…I’m Jewish, but I attend with the guys because they’re Catholic. I’m becoming engulfed in both religions it seems.”

He seemed off put but quickly regained composure. “There’s nothing wrong with that, we’re all God’s children.”

Emboldened she pressed. “What does confession do?”

His brows rose. “Pardon?”

“Confession, I’ve been lightened in my mind, but I would like to absolve myself out loud.”

“Confession is to allow the Lord as well as the person to forgive their sins, simultaneously releasing themselves from the binds of it. As a daughter of Judaism you know you do not have to confess your sins of a daily basis –“

She tried to make light of it, and failed. “I know, sir, but Yom Kippur is a ways a way…I’ve sinned much worse than coveting or eating grapes from the market without paying.”

Macklepenny took the adjoining pew, facing her. “And what sins are you wishing to confess then, my child?”

Sera sat a little straighter. “Before we begin, Father, these things are…um, confidential, right?”

The poor man became more fidgety. “Of course, the Seal of Confession stays within the confines of this church as it is with you and I.”

She nodded, taking a breath. “Good, I just needed to be sure.”

With that she began to relay her story to him, every feeling, every action, and consequence that followed her to this point. Soon his eyes went to the floor nodding when the occasion called for it, his brow furrowed while he hummed in acknowledgement and when she was done his gaze slowly lifted back to hers.

“You have been through quite an ordeal.”

“Many of my loved ones have…I’m concerned that it will continue to be that way for them.”

“We must let God guide the way in these times, it may not be easy, or have the result we search for but it is His will. He knows what is best for us.”

“But how do we know which is His will?”

Macklepenny smiled. “You must give yourself time to obtain the answer; you’ll know when it comes.”

Sera huffed. “No offense, Father, but I’ve been out of touch with this for a while. And what I’ve told you, what choice am I supposed to make when another gun is shoved in my face or someone is attacking my loved ones?”

He cleared his throat in discomfort. “No matter how much time passes, once you’ve accepted the Lord, He stays within you for eternity. He’s guided you, Lucifer may have you thinking otherwise, but you’ve made your decisions based on the need of others not yourself those actions say who’s been aiding you in your answers. The things you’ve had to do, no one can imagine, each person is different in their trauma. But it isn’t bloodlust, you may have exacted revenge in an attempt to gain justice of your sister…but it was your grief that did that. It was an action of love in the end, and you telling me the guilt you feel for so much of it now speaks volumes. A sensible person would tell you to go to the police, but from what you told me…I can’t tell you what to do. All I can say is to stay on this path, allow the sheet of guilt and grief fall and embrace the possibilities you can have. Let that be what drives you.”

“Thank you, Father.”

She stood, Shep leaping up to go.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you all that you’re looking for.”

“No, Father, you’ve helped me more than ever…I know God isn’t a magic 8 ball. He can’t give a straightforward answer, but thank you, just for listening. That’s helped me more than anything to have an impartial to hear me.”

“It’s no problem. And please, child, just remember – the Lord doesn’t decide what he does to help his children, but to save them.”

Her face remained blank, but she nodded. Bundling herself back in for the brisk cold the night would have. Rocco had to be back by now, but she didn’t really want to head back there. It wasn’t home, it was flat – in addition, it was empty, and after the tumbling of events tonight she didn’t want to be alone. So instead she decided she would go back to the police station, the press had to be gone, and she could just sleep out in the lobby. But she needed to be close.

“I am the clingy girlfriend, aren’t I, Shep?”

Cold air billowed out of his snout, his head to the ground finding any scent of new friends. After several blocks her posture began to bristle, goosebumps rising to the surface. She was being followed she was sure. Again? This soon? She tried to act casual, adjusting her speed up slightly and inclining it after each block. She put her hand in her pocket, gliding her fingers to the button on her knife. IF the opportunity came she’d scramble, but she wouldn’t hesitate to defend herself. She saw the figure of a man, his outline covered by a huge hooded coat, the black fading with the night. She couldn’t kid herself she needed a taxi, the station was over ten miles and there was no way she’d be able to jog that far. But the block she was on was quiet besides a few stragglers being ushered out of a bar nearby. Stopping at the four-way she glanced in all directions to plot where to go, feeling a hand on her shoulder she lashed out getting the person’s hand who leapt back with a yelp. She turned to continue her attack when she was overpowered, the assailant going for her wrist, pinning her at the sidewalk post.

“You’ve lost your touch. Gotten soft, I like it.”

Her mouth gaped open, her body shaking and heart stammering at the voice.

“Sapph?”

[buzzmemes]

Best Memes of February 2020: Get ready for fun

Best Memes of February 2020

We have compiled for you the best memes made in February 2020 It's 2020 and there's no deficiency of memes clearing the web. It doesn't take well before the most up to date memes are moving image sweethearts to make their own amusing adaptations and flooding internet based life nourishes wherever with them.

I feel this

Where the Newest Memes Come From

You can depend on a significant number of the most up to date memes to originate from huge occasions or patterns in amusement, sports, style, governmental issues, news and other general subjects of intrigue. For example, you ought to have the option to detect a ton of the accompanying memes from well known TV appears, Hollywood tattle, unscripted television, broadcast sports games and even mechanical advancements. An ancient format

Wtf how could I even forget Ben Swolo was a thing

How Are the Newest Memes Being Used in February 2020?

The most up to date memes are being utilized similarly as they generally have — via web-based networking media as tweets, pictures, GIFs, and short recordings. Whether you're reblogging an image on Tumblr or utilizing an image as an amusing response picture to a hypothetical circumstance portrayed in a Twitter tweet, there's basically no incorrect method to utilize an image in fubruary 2020 as long as you will probably be clever (and not offensive). To speed you up, we've compiled the best and funniest memes we've seen in 2020. These memes are the most liked memes from reddit, instagram, facebook and twitter. languages in a nutshell : Memes

Chinese Writing: We're talking about THIS Chinese Speaking: Squidward playing the clarinet Poor yoda : Memes

Kill myself I must,annoying luke is Advertising done right : Memes

it’s antibacterial itachi Americans when they wake up: angry noises : Memes

You underestimate the power of people with really bad sleep schedules. Big brain : Memes

The bridge contains metal. I don't want me or my kids any part of it! Water is H2O and much healthier! Ayy sexy lady : Memes

and then, just like a storm, it passed It's honest work : Memes

In Assassin's Creed II I restarted a whole sequence in Venice because I didn't press shift to hug Leonardo. He looked so dissapointed and sad. :( How companies think we see prices : Memes

$15 + $5 shipping? No thanks! $20 and free shipping? Hell yes! We are always watching : Memes

And we are mostly lurkers. Truly the superior studio : Memes

Kronk would like to have a word. I’m proud of that dude : Memes

I wish i could work for him. Maybe he wouldn't be a dick head boss when i fuck up. A pro gamer move : Memes

Whether we wanted it or not.... Like postman, like son : Memes

Who know maybe his mom is a fucking Amazon warrior princess Porn is a curse : Memes

An old friend of mine is a porn star. She started getting ‘milf’ roles in her mid-20s. Then again, maybe that’s a british thing? That really hurts : Memes

I don't care what universe your from,thats gotta hurt. I mean, she’s just kind of roasting herself by saying attractive people aren’t attracted to her, right? Like what does that say about her? Victory screech : Memes

My parents were so confused by that lmao. They whipped their heads around to look at me and were like, ", why did she do that???" It really do be that way : Memes

Damn Rowan Atkinson is hot Not just hot, he's burning All Ya had to do was follow the damn train mr bean "im gonna save you 20 minutes of ranting" : Memes

Me: The grades in American high school include 9th, 11th, 12th, et cetera Always gotta leave one out in case people ask for more examples Then you go, "well there are certainly too many more for a comprehensive list, but one major example is 10th grade" and then introduce some kind of non sequitur: "but in reality, undergraduate college grades are what we should be talking about" in the hopes they won't press you any further about high school grades. Most of the jobs I land have this problem : Memes

Anyone else rather have 2? It seems to come with a Doge! Less maintenance on #2. Guaranteed. More sedimental value on #2 Hmmm lots of rock value Just keeps getting better : Memes

Sounds like you got yourself a sugar mamma Sally Mae? Me too brother Good job 👍 : Memes

YES, I was playing Pokemon whilst browsing reddit, and a shiny Sobble came out the egg as soon as I went onto your post, ironic lol congrats on your shiny :) Thank you:) Did you capture it? Yep Show me a better hero : Memes

man, imagine the pressure for her to not do shitty in school now At least she gets to go there Going to college, but not being able to finish can sometimes make someone worse off than if they'd never gone to college at all. Paying for education is the deadliest trap card.............. Only in certain countries... nostalgic : Memes

I do that too. I just have 300 or so songs I hunted down from 2014 to now, and just cycle them. Hey, I've seen you on brawlstars Exposed Why tf did I get downvoted???? At this point, Reddit is just Russian roulette. It's actually called karma roulette I think. There’s a sub for that called karmaroulette And what is happening there? People get their posts upvoted or downvoted Any post because it seems there are only memes. If I post a picture of the floor for example could I get upvoted? Gym Leader : Memes

Nah man. That’s the human version of a Minecraft grass block. is your name a starcraft reference? Yes Because that's what hero's do. That's the untoxic clean supportive community of reddit “I wasn’t even trying to win dude, here’s your gym badge tho” that's not a gym leader that's zygarde in human form "Zygarde used Bad Guy! Super effective!" That’s gotta hurt : Memes

That's what happens when you fish for compliments in shark infested waters Exactly. Dude had it coming for that obvious shit. When a chick be complaining about her looks in my presence and I can tell she wants me to be like,"no you look great" 😒 That's when you respond with "oh, sucks to suck I guess" Definitely wont get you laid, but she'll stop telling you how ugly she finds herself If a girl asks you If she looks fat say ‘you’re not fat. You’re just easy to see’. I mean, say it from the other side of the room, preferably with an obstacle to duck behind for when she starts throwing things at you. i require haha and coom : Memes

Wait so people actually use this as a social media platform? No means no : Memes

"Here wear this jacket. Go hug that soldier" "Lets burn some books!" “I’m massively into swastikas” "You mean you're hindu" "No, just into swastikas" Reading between the lines : Memes

It’s funny cause when I saw diplo, he did in fact throw down hard but he wouldn’t shut up through out the set and I just wanted to headbang without a dry cracky voice booming “How we feelin tonight?” Over and over Read the full article