#idk. it makes me sad to think about
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i know most of u follow me for reasons entirely unrelated to my fics and ao3 and stuff but Man i am really debating either not posting anymore or taking down my stuff. idk its just like. rahhhh
#melee rambles#it feels so desolateee. posting work that you love and not knowing 90% of peoples thoughts on it#outside of maybe like kudos#which i appreciate too and i am always happy to see#but like. idk. i want to Hear what people think#an added number to the pile doesn’t tell me much more than 👍#like im thinking back to before i commented on fics like. wow those authors didn’t know i talked abt the fic with my friends and how much#i loved it. they didn’t know if i went back and reread it. they didn’t know if it made me feel anything at all reallu#and thats so sad!!! i always Always make sure to leave at least something when i read fics nkw#because they put that out there for everybody to read and as much as people wail when ao3 is down. like. do their fave authors even know#that they’re their favorite? do they even know that people are relying on their fics for comfort or anything???#idk. it makes me sad to think about#and it makes me sad to experience#so maybe i shoulddd jus t stop making myself sad#vaguely debating doing the same for my art sideblog but idk abt that yet
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carrying each other :з
#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#villain pb&j duo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#fun fact mikey being the strongest/second strongest is prolly my fav hc#little man with big power......#vpbj mikey even more so cuz u prolly need that muscle mass to handle prosthetics no matter how lightweight#hes not exactly a jock but sometimes hes so jock-coded#nerd donnie who asked for no pickles and his little brother jock mikey who WILL fold you for adding pickles#aaaghh not to go on a second unrelated tangent but i love these unspoken lil things in their dynamic......#mikey being so protective and supportive their whole childhood cuz he was a lot more favorable in draxums eyes + got insane powers#and was forced to believe hes like a god or smthing thats probably important too. the strong infallible protector of the yokai#while donnie got the short end of the stick in terms of parental validation and self-esteem#and even when they grow out of that dynamic it still dictates some things in their current relationship#idk how to word it but thinking about it makes me so sad for them
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SOMETIMES Nightmare needs to indulge them in their mortal needs... to keep them functioning yk. But yk to be as lazy as possible just have them sleep together..
#I've been. thinking about wisps lately...#and errr yeh making new AU that I've wanted to make for like 2 years so yuh#sans au#utmv#undertale au#sanscest#if u want anyways#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio poly#murder time trio#like k said... if u want anyways.... doesn't haven to be ship...#UwU#comic#kind of anyways#I just started drawing killers bones for whatever reason and then just kept that idk what happened there#idk school makes me sad. I have school in like. 30 minutes😞😔
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never say never I guess
had a sudden "I want to draw them"
Lyrics from "The Last Goodbye" by Billy Boyd
also a warm up that led to this, wanted to try drawing them again and somehow got inspired a bit
#fanart#my art#sketch#comic#isat siffrin#isat fanart#isat#in stars and time#act 6 spoilers#I just straight up took picture from Act 6 what did you expect#this was supposed to be just a silly-sad sketch#because I'm feeling silly-sad about isat#think whatever you want#did they just decide to go their own way? did they die or something?#who knows#I love this song so much so I cried a bit while drawing#idk makes me emotional#I HIGHLY recommend listening to it#also reading hobbit and lotr too because books are great (movies are great on a technical level)#anyway I guess I can't leave isat that easily#although I kind of not in anymore and all#too overwhelmed#artists on tumblr#siffrin#I just noticed that I drew Siffrin with same face expression as in “You love them” thing pff well they do love their friends after all!#so it fits
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I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS
#THERES LIKE. BARELY ANY.#IF I GET LUCKY ILL SEE AN ACE HEADCANON#BUT VERY RARELY DO I SEE ARO HEADCANONS#SOBBING#stiff talk#my favorite thing is thinking about how many characters i see as aromantic but then i go to the fandom tag or to that characters tag and#everyone is shipping them and theres like 2 posts total about that character being ace and 1 post about them being aroace#man im just a bit sad about all this dont mind me#yea yea i know the whole “if you wanna see something make it yourself” thing but see heres the thing: im tired#i just wanna be able to go through a tag and see people share similar ideas and headcanons without me having to make all the work myself#and i bet theres plenty other people who feel the same#and even if there is a character thats like. somewhat aroace coded in some way people still find a way to go “but then they fall in love”#and like yea have fun or whatever but i just idk it just feels very lonely sometimes yknow#miss the times when i didnt think about this so much#cuz now that im older and know that IM aspec its like. oh. i wanna see more characters like me! but theres like basically none#SORRY FOR THE RANT LMFAO#ignore this im just feeling silly
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(small child starting to meltdown) “Hey, hey. *snapping* We’ll play later, okay?”
#idk why but this is making me emotional#something about how jack is surrounded by all this chaos and all these people#but he recognizes the rising wobbling voice and the getting-overwhelmed body language#how many almost-meltdowns do we think jack had to snap little lukey out of?#lukey always so intense and feeling things so hard#and jack always so perceptive and calming him right back down#also something very sad about jack on his draft day promising his little cousin that “we’ll play later”#because after this day jack’s life changes forever#he goes from high schooler to full-time professional hockey player#a brutal rookie year. a life lived on the road. injuries.#did he ever actually get to play one last game with his little cousin?#did jack know it would be an empty promise?#jack hughes#post#jhughes & kids tag
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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.🖤🔄🤍.
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#limochi#art#mochi#lime#ocs#original#PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ive been wanting to do this for so long....the m-34th purposely makes their uniforms white to be the anti-witch black color#and they both look DAMN FINE#limes def thinking abt how she looks like a bride#it took me a while to decide if i should also swap the gold#but the gold looks too good with the uniform...#i cant stop looking at this#ignore my sad excuse for crossed legs at this angle i gave up#hehe it reminds of an idea i have in beta about the m-34th letting witches off the hook post-ending#and changing their uniforms to black#idk if thats actually what happens but it would be wholesome for lime to come home in a black uniform#and mochi gets all emotional he looks so handsome#i just realized i messed up some of his uniform details#this is what i get for not looking at references for my own characters#also what i get for rushing a piece in 2 hours instead of taking my time#cat bow hat really fucks man#edit: i fixed the things that were bothering me hehe
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exotic father takes nap with jar daughter
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 8#resident evil village#ethan winters#should i tag rose. she is here. in jar form. i think ill refrain#i am workin on somethin with her but idk when or if ill finish that#i always struggle keepin loose drawings. loose. i usually end up gettin too into it and i end up really meh about it#so IM proud of myself for showin an amount of restraint#anyways thats the post i dont have much else to say. they make me so sad.
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i love himmm rouururuurrrru
#rdpsart#transformers#transformers one#d 16#should i tag him as megatron too....?#idk.. that makes me a lil sad hehe#anyway no joke hes all i could think about.#its been a week or maybe even two somebody PLEASE help me#maccadam
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To me, the most exciting thing about Space Baby is that its format allows starkids living outside of LA, or who haven't been in Starkid stuff recently, to actually participate in this big beautiful creative enterprise they love and helped to build. Plus it allows them to incorporate all the amazing and talented people that they've been working with for years!
I'm excited to see Meredith and Brian, and Denise Donovan, and Jae Hughes! I'm excited to see Sean & Sinéad Persaud! Nick Gage's theme song is a banger! The idea of Mary Kate Wiles and Tessa Netting in a Starkid project makes me want to scream and jump up and down and cry tears of joy!!
The musicals are great, that's what pulled me in initially, but they are limited in the sense that they typically have pretty small casts, and the cast has to live in LA. Almost everyone is playing multiple characters because the shows are so expensive to produce. They require so much time and effort, and some starkids might have to make difficult choices to take work that pays more.
But with the format of Space Baby, while I'm sure the creators have spent an obscene amount of time and effort to make this thing happen, it has a much lower barrier to entry for all those people we love in the starcanpulpwrecked orbit. They don't have to live in LA, they don't have to be able to commit weeks or months to rehearsal and running a show, some of them may even be able to do the filming on their own and send it in.
It's just a really rare and precious thing to have such a large and long-running group of creatives, that seem to have such genuine respect and affection for each other and for their craft. That can pull in new talented people, and find ways for original starkids to participate, *and* incorporate people they've been working with for years outside of Starkid.
Watching Starkid shows on youtube led me to TCB, becoming a fan of TCB introduced me to Shipwrecked and smosh and dropout. It's the reason my partner puts on Shitty Broadway songs when he knows I've had a bad day. That willingness to collaborate benefits all the individuals and companies involved, but it also benefits us as fans.
I think Space Baby itself is going to be weird and trippy and funny and maybe a little bittersweet sometimes? And that's exciting for me, but I hope it succeeds because finding ways to keep everyone in that big creative family and keep producing accessible, independent original works is a project worth pursuing
Anyways I love this beautiful space child
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#space baby#idk so much of the conversation has been about the digital ticket this week#and while I think there are points to be made on both sides it also really makes me sad that we arent talking about the show itself#so heres some love for space baby
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weird little guy
#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#joffrey baratheon#my art#idk I just wanted 2 draw baby joffrey being weird and offputting. likely place for him to be#when you're so mad at your dad you dissect his fursona#I <3 giving asoiaf characters cute little plushies of their house sigils idc if it's anachronistic#little baby joffrey makes me sad to think about he's my eraserhead baby...I could be a good mother...I could still save him :(#ok maybe not but I could definitely be a better father than robert I'd give him litte pats on the head and say 'I'm proud of you sport'#I could not save him but I could love him </3
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arrives 15 min late with a latte
......sup
#yosuke hanamura#persona 4#cool now that its done i can ramble in the tags#fellas im surprised hes here and done#did not think that was gonna happen#fuck i forgot smth#eh ill fix it before i make my print#anywho i might make more i might not who knows not i#yukiko is the next one i have half an idea on but also i have some shining nikki designs rattling around with my sole braincell#i also made a shadow alt for the back but idk if i like the mouth so yall arent gonna see him#also i need to find a gold foil guy that does odd sizes and like moq of 1#bc i wanna do this in gold foil#and its tarot card size bc im dumb as hell#but i want a print for my wall and i know sure as shit no one else will want one hence the moq of 1#my heart wants to make the whole major arcana for p4 but my past completed works says °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝑛𝑜 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・#so whatever gets done will get done#also im gonna reblog this a lot bc i put in too many hours to get a singular note by me so like if you dont wanna see it block me lmfao#if you have any hot takes for future cards please share with the class bc i only have ideas for yukiko and a full cast she does not make fr#so uh yeah yeehaw#idk what else to ramble about but like cannot believe yosuke fucking hanamura is the first chara to get a completed piece in 5 years#im not fucking kidding#the rest were all quick graphite or abandoned#hes not even my fave in p4- thats naoto protag chan kou and nanako#boys lucky to hit top 5#he just kinda crawled into my affection like some kind of sad pathetic creature idk how it happened either#maybe hes overprocessed now that im looking at it#nope i looked too long this is it this is how he is#ill do better by the women i promise
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I’m thinking about that post I reblogged yesterday about how trans women are often expected to take on traditionally “male” roles and behaviors in courtship with cis women. How we’re expected to do things like message first, open doors, and of course, top, and how often the alternatives to doing this is not having a relationship in the first place. The thing that really got to me today was the realization that it’s entirely possible to end up in a relationship with a cis woman who really does love you, but still expects you to be the one to propose. Maybe I’m just having a weird mood or something, but the idea of going through all this transitioning and everything and in the end still not being the one being proposed to makes me want to cry
#this is probably nothing#i might just be looking for excuses to make myself sad#but idk. the idea of proposing also makes me want to cry. I hate dysphoria this shit is stupif#and it doesn’t matter bc I’m not even in a relationship. it’s just the thought that makes me sad#and the fears that especially because I’m tall and broad shouldered and everything that I’m going to be forced into those roles#the fear that people will only want me because they fantasize about being dommed by a tall woman and all that#idk that’s one of my underlying fears that I think about a lot#ramblings
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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I was someone once... An adventurer.
(read more for me rambling about the emperor)
theres rarely any particular meaning or intent behind my art but i swear the emperor is literally my muse, so i thought id share my thoughts about what this piece means! i was listening to punish by ethel cain and couldnt get this idea out of my head… i feel like the line "i was an angel, but they made me leave" or the fallen from grace motif pretty well encapsulates the tragedy of balduran and the emperor and why he'll always be such a sympathetic character to me.
ultimately while there are valid reasons to believe the emperor's evil/irredeemable or whatever, its quite literally not his fault he became what he is. he never asked for his ceremorphosis (of course, he came to accept it, but that doesnt make it any less fucked up). its generally considered that mankind is capable of good and evil in equal measure, but if your humanity is literally stripped away from you, what is there to stop your descent? this isnt even to justify his actions but instead about how titles like "angel" and "demon", "good" and "bad" etc etc are so subjective and perception-based. like if it was the human(oid) balduran and not a mind flayer behind all his actions throughout the game, i doubt he'd be so universally hated. i mean, better a bad person than a literal monster, right?
there's also the "only god knows / only god would believe", or to me the idea that no matter how hard the emperor may try to exercise morality, he's so far departed from his former self that people will only ever see him as a villain, not a hero. its truly a damned if you do, damned if you dont situation. and most ironic is the fact that despite everything, he hasnt fully lost his humanity. he genuinely yearns for companionship and mourns what hes lost and who he used to be (to some degree). i think hes so well-written because he is just like you in the sense that hes simply playing the cards he was dealt, right or wrong. i could go on and on about this awesome character and song (especially its themes of perversion, punishment, and love) but that's the gist. thanks for reading ^^
#ok actually thats enough because thinking about balduran/ansur/emperor for too long makes me sad#idk i just vibe with any interpretation of forced otherness and alienation and emps is like a prime example#everyone is so mean 2 him 💔#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#the emperor bg3#bg3 emperor#bg3 fanart#the emperor#balduran#also i literally never want to draw armor ever again
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