#so heres some love for space baby
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To me, the most exciting thing about Space Baby is that its format allows starkids living outside of LA, or who haven't been in Starkid stuff recently, to actually participate in this big beautiful creative enterprise they love and helped to build. Plus it allows them to incorporate all the amazing and talented people that they've been working with for years!
I'm excited to see Meredith and Brian, and Denise Donovan, and Jae Hughes! I'm excited to see Sean & Sinéad Persaud! Nick Gage's theme song is a banger! The idea of Mary Kate Wiles and Tessa Netting in a Starkid project makes me want to scream and jump up and down and cry tears of joy!!
The musicals are great, that's what pulled me in initially, but they are limited in the sense that they typically have pretty small casts, and the cast has to live in LA. Almost everyone is playing multiple characters because the shows are so expensive to produce. They require so much time and effort, and some starkids might have to make difficult choices to take work that pays more.
But with the format of Space Baby, while I'm sure the creators have spent an obscene amount of time and effort to make this thing happen, it has a much lower barrier to entry for all those people we love in the starcanpulpwrecked orbit. They don't have to live in LA, they don't have to be able to commit weeks or months to rehearsal and running a show, some of them may even be able to do the filming on their own and send it in.
It's just a really rare and precious thing to have such a large and long-running group of creatives, that seem to have such genuine respect and affection for each other and for their craft. That can pull in new talented people, and find ways for original starkids to participate, *and* incorporate people they've been working with for years outside of Starkid.
Watching Starkid shows on youtube led me to TCB, becoming a fan of TCB introduced me to Shipwrecked and smosh and dropout. It's the reason my partner puts on Shitty Broadway songs when he knows I've had a bad day. That willingness to collaborate benefits all the individuals and companies involved, but it also benefits us as fans.
I think Space Baby itself is going to be weird and trippy and funny and maybe a little bittersweet sometimes? And that's exciting for me, but I hope it succeeds because finding ways to keep everyone in that big creative family and keep producing accessible, independent original works is a project worth pursuing
Anyways I love this beautiful space child
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#space baby#idk so much of the conversation has been about the digital ticket this week#and while I think there are points to be made on both sides it also really makes me sad that we arent talking about the show itself#so heres some love for space baby
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For ghostlights: baby Ellie + tired Danny + Duke the baby whisperer?
He has no idea how his parents did it.
Babies are exhausting. Toddlers more so. Any infants in the strange stage in-between? Doubly so.
Ellie is wonderful and sweet and cute and such a terror that Danny genuinely has no idea how his parents managed to raise not one, but two kids. For all their eccentricities and absent-mindedness, he and Jazz turned out pretty well. Ignoring the whole halfa thing because that’s more his fault than theirs even if Jazz says they shouldn’t have created the dangerous environment in the first place.
That environment is exactly why Danny refuses to let Ellie go to his house in Amity Park. His parents say they’ve disabled all the weapons and ecto-sensors since he’s had to reveal himself as Phantom, but he knows that things slip their minds and if they can’t guarantee that the house is safe, then Ellie isn’t going in there. Simple as that.
This means that they live somewhere else now. Danny had thought about it, during the hours Ellie was asleep and he was awake, exhausted and worn down to his bones, and took Jazz’s advice to accept Vlad’s offer of buying a house for him. Except he argued Vlad down to an apartment in a city of his choosing where he wouldn’t stand out too much and he would be safe, or as safe as he can be, from anyone trying to hunt down ghosts.
So here they are. Standing in the empty living room of their new apartment in Gotham.
Gotham may not be very safe as a city, but it’s good for two ghosts trying to pass as normal.
Danny sighs yet again, and looks at the space he’ll need to fill. At least Vlad is footing the bill. It’s the least he can do for creating Ellie. Frostbite was the one who was able to stabilize her, though it was almost too late and resulted in her reforming as a baby, just one and a half years old. Jazz is the one who’s choosing most of the furniture, thankfully, so it’s something that Danny doesn’t need to worry about it.
It’s a new start to their lives and it feels so empty. So overwhelming. How did his parents do it? How do any parents do it?
Ellie smacks a small palm against his cheek and babbles lightly.
“I know, Ellie,” Danny says, giving her a tired smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll have this place looking good in no time.”
He adjusts her in his arms, then heads towards the bedroom. It’s the only room that has any furniture, and all that’s there is a bed, a crib, and a bookcase. There are a few boxes on the floor, labeled ‘bedroom’ and ‘clothing’ and ‘books’. Most of it came from his bedroom in Amity Park, but he’s pretty sure he caught Jazz sneaking a few things in before they closed the boxes and loaded them up into the car.
“Can you be good for five minutes?” he asks Ellie.
She babbles again and smacks his shoulder.
“I’m taking that as an agreement. Just let me open these boxes and start unpacking before you start causing trouble, okay?”
Ellie makes another sound, but it seems agreeable so Danny carefully lays her down in the crib and gets to peeling off the tape on the boxes. The opens the one labeled ‘bedroom’ first, finding blankets and sheets folded and stacked in vacuum sealed bags. One of them is his old childhood blanket, the one he carried around everywhere that was faded with age, barely blue, with white bunnies decorating it.
He was so small when he had this. It makes him oddly emotional to unpack it and pass it on to Ellie, draping it over her so her pudgy little hands can grab at it.
This is no time to cry, though! He forces himself to focus and makes his own bed, shaking out the sheets and fluffing up the pillows. He’ll worry about washing everything later; Vlad made sure to get an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer, which means he was actually sensible while apartment hunting for Danny.
He doesn’t mean to flop onto the bed once it’s made, but he ends up there anyways. He’s barely gotten a full six hours of uninterrupted sleep since Frostbite deemed Ellie healthy enough to leave his care. The drive up to Gotham was long and wore him down to his bones.
He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he does, drifting off as he wonders, distantly, when Jazz will be back from getting them dinner.
Ellie wakes him up at dawn with a loud cry. Danny jolts awake, heart pounding in his chest as he panics because Ellie isn’t here, she’s supposed to be in his arms, where is she? And then he sees the crib, where Ellie is staring at him through the bars, and he nearly collapses with relief.
“Morning, El,” he says, voice rough from sleep, as he picks her up. She just stares up at him, then leans forward and rests her head against his shoulder.
It’s quiet moments like these that make his heart melt. Ellie’s had a hard life already; he wants to give her a better one, this time around.
A quick check of the time on his nearly dead phone shows that it’s barely past six in the morning, and Jazz texted him a few times. All about furniture, saying that she didn’t want to wake them and that food is in the fridge.
It’s only the mention of food that makes him realize how ravenous he’s feeling. Danny makes a beeline for the kitchen, ignoring everything else, and pulls out the boxes of take-out Jazz left stacked in the fridge. He devours it like he’s been starving for weeks, then gives Ellie her Ecto-Jello, the only food she’s allowed to eat until Frostbite gives the okay for solid, human food.
Once he’s got her burped and cleaned up, Danny looks out of the kitchen and realizes that Jazz was very productive while he was asleep. The living room isn’t empty anymore; a dark green couch is against the wall, a low, rectangular coffee table made of dark wood in front of it. Two armchairs are on both sides of the couch, and a television has been installed, fixed into the wall.
Jazz is asleep on the couch. Her legs hang off an armrest and she’s drooling slightly.
Her phone is charging on the floor, so Danny takes it and snaps a picture of her for later teasing, then sends it to himself and writes a note to her that he’s going out with Ellie to explore the neighborhood.
He’s finally feeling more settled, energized from sleep and food.
In the warm dawn light spilling in through the windows, Danny looks down at Ellie and thinks that they’ll be just fine after all.
. . .
Four months ago, Danny had hope. He was optimistic.
Gotham was a fresh start, a new lease of life for Ellie. It is Danny’s attempt to be a single parent, sacrificing college for Ellie, and he’s planning to go out and beat the gangs black and blue if they start anymore shootouts in the next year.
He had just gotten Ellie to sleep. She was actually peacefully taking a nap.
And then a drive by shooter raced down the street, gunshots echoing down the road, and Ellie work up crying. She still hasn’t stopped, despite how Danny rocked her, soothing her as best he could.
They had been outside when Ellie fell asleep, her head on his shoulder. He had been catching up with Sam and Tucker when the car drove by, people ducking and crying out to avoid the bullets. Danny instinctively covered Ellie and made them both intangible, saving them from any stray bullets, but they ruined her nap and he needs to make them pay for that.
“Shh,” he soothes, “You’re okay. We’re both fine. It’s okay, El, it’s okay.”
Her little hands clutch at his back, twisting the fabric of his shirt, and she lets out a heartbreaking wail. He pats her back, hurrying down the street to get back to his apartment building, ignoring the looks people were giving them as they passed by.
“I know it was scary, but you’re alright. You’re always safe with me, El.”
Ellie’s cries down down a little, but they don’t stop. She whimpers, burying her face against his shoulder as he finally reaches their apartment building.
The door’s locked, which wouldn’t be a problem except Danny can’t get his keys from his pocket. He knows he has them! But his pocket refuses to relinquish them and he has to stop every few seconds to pat Ellie’s back, trying in vain to calm her down.
“We’ll be inside in a second,” he tells her, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, “as soon as I can get these freaking keys!”
“Hey, you alright?”
Danny startles, whirling around so fast it makes Ellie go quiet, clinging to him so she doesn’t get flung into the air. There’s a guy standing before him in a gray hoodie, looking at him with clear concern. It speaks to Danny’s level of constant exhaustion that he hadn’t clocked someone sneaking up behind him.
The guy offers an awkward smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you or anything. Um, do you need me to open to door? I live here too.”
Danny wonders for a moment if this someone dangerous, someone hoping to hurt Ellie, but she starts to cry again and he steps to the side. “Please. I can’t get my keys.”
“I’m Duke, by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”
“Danny,” he replies, watching as Duke pulls out a large key ring, jangling with the amount of keychains on it, and easily opens the door. “I’ve been here a few months, but I’m usually inside. Or walking around in the mornings with this little monster.”
“That would explain it,” Duke says as he holds the door open, letting Danny in first. “I’m usually in classes at GCU, but I decided to take a mental health day after my lab, so here I am.”
Danny walks in and waits for Duke to follow, making sure the door closes properly behind them. “Thanks. How is GCU? What do you study? I was thinking of going there myself once she gets a little older and can go to school.”
“Oh, I’m majoring in English and Human Services.” He goes to say more, but Ellie wails again and Danny winces.
“I’m so sorry. That drive by woke her up and it’s really rattled her.”
“Hey, no need to apologize. I get it, Gotham is rough to kids.”
Danny tries rocking her back and forth, but it doesn’t help. He resigns himself to another hour of her crying before she exhausts herself, and makes for the stairs, going up to the fourth floor. Duke holds open the door again, then follows after them. It makes Danny wonder if Duke is planning to do something to them, then decides he can beat Duke in a fight, so it’s fine.
Duke doesn’t try to hurt them or steal Ellie away. He opens the door to their floor and stops before they do. “I’m in here,” he says, “If you ever need me to open more doors.”
“Thanks. Um, actually, I might need help opening mine?”
Duke just smiles and makes his way back to them, following them farther into the hall until Danny stops in front of his apartment.
“If I could just get my keys,” he starts.
“Here, let me hold her for a second so you can get them,” Duke offers. Danny wants to insist that it’s fine, but Ellie cries directly into his ear and Danny, at the end of his rope, passes her over.
Like magic, Ellie settles as soon as she’s in Duke’s arms. She sniffles and hides her face away, clutching to Duke’s hoodie, but she stops crying. They both go still, surprised, and stare down at her.
“Seriously?” Danny says as he finally pulls out his keys, “Are you trying to say that I’m the problem?”
Ellie babbles lightly, and Duke turns his head to futilely hide his grin.
He grumbles as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. Ellie is acting as if she’s never been upset before a day in her life, making herself at home in Duke’s arms.
“I can’t believe this. Betrayed by my own blood.”
Duke laughs as he follows Danny into his apartment, lightly patting Ellie’s back. “It’s always the smallest, cutest ones that do this.”
“Yeah? Do you work with a lot of kids or something? Used to being betrayed by the little ones?”
“I don’t work with kids per se,” Duke says, “But my foster family is a hot mess and the youngest of them likes to keep us all on our toes.”
“Family,” Danny says in a tired, fond tone.
“Family,” Duke agrees.
With his door open and Ellie calm, Danny’s ready to just lay face down on the floor for the rest of the day and not deal with anything else. He moves to take Ellie back, holding his arms out, and Duke tries to pass her over.
The key word being tries.
Ellie tightens her grip and kicks at Danny. She refuses to be taken away from Duke, making him awkwardly try to pry her off his hoodie. Danny really hopes Duke doesn’t notice how she goes slightly intangible to make his hands fall through her arms and legs. It shouldn’t be noticeable, but it’s hard to focus on anything but a kid that clings to you, so Danny holds out for Duke’s goodwill and silence.
“As nice as it is to meet you, you need to go back to your… parent?” Danny nods when Duke looks at him in askance. “You need to go back to your parent. Okay? Come on, kid, he’s waiting for you.”
Ellie shakes her head, makes a frustrated noise, and then turns and reaches out a grabby hand towards Danny.
She still refuses to be taken from Duke when Danny tries to pick her up again, so he settles with just letting her hold two of his fingers.
“I’m so sorry about this,” he says to Duke, face burning. This is why he hasn’t been going out and being social since he moved in; Ellie is a handful even on the best days, and Danny doesn’t want someone to judge him as unfit to parent her and have her taken away.
Duke shakes his head, stepping closer. “It’s all good, man. I don’t mind. It’s not like I had any plans today. I’m already skipping my classes, might as well spend it with you two than sleep all day.”
“Are you sure? I’d be happy to invite you in, but I know Ellie can be a lot and not everyone wants to spend their day off with a baby.”
“I’m sure. Besides, I’d just be down the hall anyways. It’s no skin off my back, man.”
“Well,” Danny says, stepping to the side to give Duke full access to his open doorway, “Come on in, then.”
Ellie keeps them connected, one hand in Duke’s hoodie and the other holding Danny’s fingers, and though her cheeks are still red from how hard she had been crying, she’s calm now with her eyes shining with mischief.
As the door closes behind them, Danny realizes that this is the first time someone he’s not related to has been inside his apartment. Not even Vlad has come in, always choosing to invite Danny and Ellie out for lunch instead.
It should make him nervous, but Duke is calm and easy going and kind.
He’s making silly faces at Ellie to make her laugh, completely at ease with her in his arms, as if he’s done this a thousand times before.
Gotham is a second chance at life for Ellie. It’s a sacrifice for Danny, to be alone and without friends or family around. He’d been ready to give up everything for Ellie, to focus solely on raising her, but with Duke filling his apartment with laughter, he thinks that he can make a life here too.
All he needs to do is take that first step, reach his hand out, ask Duke to stick around.
He can do this.
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp fic#prompt fill#my writing#i really love writing about characters struggling to be parents v suddenly and thru unconventional means#so here's danny a year out of high school living on his own for the first time w baby ellie#and duke who needed some space and independence while he's in college. bruce pays for the apartment while duke works part time for grocerie#and ellie who had been fully developed but unstable is now a halfa baby who remembers stuff but is also. yknow. a baby.#she absolutely latched onto duke to force danny to have a life outside of her. but also she can sense that hes kind and calm#which danny needs bc he is Stressed (tm)#this leads to duke bringing over food for them and looking after ellie while danny goes shopping or naps#both of them ignoring how duke has to leave suddenly for Hero Related Reasons and how danny and ellie have Powers#it's a v delicate balance they keep for the sake of keeping ellie safe#yeah they're gonna co-parent and realize they're basically dating after MONTHS of pining#the bats have bets on who gives bruce a grandkid first and literally no one bet on duke but here he is lol :)#thanks for the prompt!!
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me: oh i totally get it if some folks dont jive with same coin theory, plus it's strange to conceptualise at first--
me when i see people call it lame:
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#is it any more lame than bill just becoming a bird after a decade of waiting#they dont understand the poetry of bill creating his own end in the form of someone he despises yet gets everything he wanted!!!#sounds like 'i didnt know about the axolotl poem and was oblivious to the bill reincarnation for the past 8 years' talk!#y'all need to appreciate a good ol bootstrap paradox!!! love me some time shenanigans!#also the funniest thing i've seen when folks were denying same coin theory was#'oh that's a paradox so that clearly can't happen!!!!'#as if both time travel eps arent entirely bootstrap paradoxes that literally points the paradox out#and the fact that soos and stan met is one too!!!#...which then makes any canon divergent aus where dipper and mabel dont make it to that ep have the timeline fall apart lol#but everyone forgets about that so whatever!!!#....yes i have beef with the inconsistencies of time travel in the eps but whatever#..........if the kids replace themselves when time travelling then what about the baby versions in 2002--#could you imagine time travellers pig with a billion time duplicates of the kids tho lmao#my point is a paradox brought this family together canonically#defying time and space and lifetimes and trauma theyre all silly goobers together!!!#anyway here's me grumbling cos it was a plot thread left out for years that we were meant to discuss/think about#too bad we didnt expect the 'bill is too busy in theraprison to get reincarnated rn' twist
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Okay good news- my mom will not be in Mexico for my 17th birthday she’s realized that she has to be back because my driver’s test is that day. So. Yay?
#I’d like to think that she also just wouldn’t want to miss my birthday but idk lmfao#Bro I’m taking my driver’s test at like 8am on my birthday if I fail that’s gonna like ruin my whole day 😭#I am TERRIFIED for that#My brother failed his first test though so at least if I fail he didn’t do better than me#Also his turn signals stopped working during his second test so he had to do hand signals and he still passed lmao#That car was born in the same year as me (2008) and is held together with a concerning amount of duct tape#Muffler fell of on the highway once#He pulled over an waited till it was clear to run out there and grab it (it wasn’t a busy highway)#Duct taped it back on#Bashed it in with a rock so it stuck#And kept on going#That car has no power steering 70% of the time it’s alllllll manual baby#Full arm and core workout to take a fuckin corner lmfao#The turn signals are 50/50 too sometimes they work sometimes they don’t#I love that car bro#She’s beautiful#Also for a good while my brother kept a buncha wood a few axes (hatchets technically) and a thing of gasoline in the back#And like come on that’s an explosion waiting to happen#Bros out here tryna race that thing too like girl WHAT ACCELERATION#That thing only accelerates if you’re going down a hill with a sharp turn at the bottom or trying to slowly reverse into a parking space#Anyways that’s off topic#I do love that car tho#It’s been in the family for as long as I have#And man are there some stories with that thing
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I love my cat’s little purring chirp, he wants to make those high pitched short chirps but he wants to purr so it becomes a soft little rumbling loud purr with random burst of shrill chirping. Occasionally you'll see his little chunky self take a deep breath and get bigger like a puffer fish. It's because he is using every ounce of power in his fuzzy cat body to scream for as long as he can
Then if you come close he head buts you and bites your cheek then head buts again. All the while purring and chirping into between head butting and biting. He tries to bite softly but he gets excited. Bumping his head first tends to confuse him enough that he doesn't bite but purrs happy to have your forehead booping his
#fey’s rambles#i cherish my fur babies so much what a gift they are#His bites are well-meaning and he tries to be gentle so I can't get mad#I don't have to worry about him doing it to other since most people don't know how to introduce themselves to him#he is the kind you need to let see you#Crouch down hold out both hands flat for him to stiff and slowly maybe go up to him#first it helps to let him exist in the space with you#he hates it when people try to help themselves to picking him up or petting him#some people don't get it when I say ask permission#like people really be out here thinking they can touch any living thing just cause it's cute#like no my cat doesn't wanna be touched he doesn't wanna be#show him respect for his space and he will love you for it
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Kal-El might not be the smartest fish but at least he's pretty!
#hes so bad at finding food. i open the food container and he swims down to stare at it#i drop the food in. he continues staring outside the tank#king! go up! and then i have to lead him up with my finger#he went from a 10gal to a 20gal a month ish ago bc i finally gave up on my 20gal plans#would love to get him some shrimp friends perhaps#once the algae has a chance to build back up in there#also augh all of my decor is so short. like its fine for a 10gal#but he has soooo much vertical space thats just empty#rip to my 15gal plants from my now broken tank. u wouldve loved it in here.#bel speaks#hes my superman fish :)#ugh a 20gal is soooo much room i could put a little fish school in there with him but. idk#i miss my otos.... i miss my cory cats....#i REALLY want chili rasboras sooooo bad but. even tho kal's chill i wouldnt trust him with them#theyre just TOO small#its fine theyre getting shelved for whenever i get around to setting up the 10gal as a nano fish tank#baby: kal#this is my put a betta in a big tank propaganda post. look at him. hes so happy#i dont put bettas in anything smaller than 10gal with a lot of decor#god i miss leo's tank. it was so heavily planted. and had otos!#me: bettas are smart!!!! kal: [elevator music in brain]
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my most coherant ‘season one’ thought is that rtd needs to hire better editors and remember what pacing is
#this series got absolutely hacked to pieces and it shows#if your fandom has to theorise around why key set up scenes are missing and leapfrog through time skips it’s a problem rusty#there is so much great shit here#honestly some peak doccy who!!!!#but yikes how many times have I been taken out of a scene just wincing#//negative#doctor who#spoilers#I’m still not over the jukebox ‘push the button’ thing in space babies#loved that ep altogether it was fun!#also a sign of things to come
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yea sure ok everything sucks but I just made myself a little lunch for tomorrow in my little bento box sooo… checkmate
#it doesn’t fit in my Pokémon lunchbox tho so that’s kind of my 13th reason#I’m joshing you#my sodie wouldn’t have also fit so I would’ve been exceeding lunchbox capabilities anyway#I included lil chocolates and some cookies because I am a good boy who deserves treats#brain worms have been so bad today I am rlly proud of myself for packing my lunch#Now let’s hope I remember it tombow#tomorrow#even if I don’t I have an hour lunch so I have time to come back and get it :)#brain still go bleh but I think I’m gonna put a deposit down on my next tattoo#I need something to look forward to and it’s a lil ‘congrats on ur new job’ @ myself#any my aunt sent me money for new work clothes but my mom ordered me new work shirts that’ll be here tomorrow sooo……#thanks for covering the deposit u ableist bitch <3#anyway I am ranbling it’s the brain worms#BUT I had an idea for a space au fic for two of my favorite existing ocs <3#my little gay babies I love them#if u read this far I am giving a big hug#camsmusings
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hnnnnnnnnnnnmmnn its overshare on the internet o clock
#my shitty ex has sent me a text asking to meet up and talk#and in a predictable move the text itself doesnt actually apologize or acknowledge that she did anything fucked up#it instead says 'we both did some pretty messed up stuff' which. uh. yeah. cool. thanks.#thats like prefacing an apology with 'first of all i still blame you but i guess i couuuldve had something to do with it'#and like. sheesh. my first instinct is to politely say absolutely not jesus christ how do you have the gall to ask me that#i could go my entire life without interacting with you ever again and i would be nothing but better off for it#but. i have not sent that yet. and it has been a while. because i really miss the friend group she....not stole exactly but#because i do not want to be in the same space as her i just. dont get to be around them much any more.#and fuck. i miss my dog so so much. i love lucas too but sarah was the first dog i raised from a baby#and she was just one of those animals that are just. like you love them all but some are different in a way where they're a part of you.#and sarah was mine and she took her from me and ive just barely gotten over it#i dont know if being able to see her again would make it worse or better.#but instinct is telling me to tell her that no theres no chance of us being friends. i need to protect myself and value my own wellbeing.#and that its not that i hate her because i dont but i do intensely dislike the ugly person i realized shes become#and i refuse to continue to let myself be hurt by that without speaking up.#but i still!!! havent!!! said no!!!!!#if i could manage it. and get through a talk with her. and be very clear that im here to attempty just...neutrality and a lack of hostility#and that friendship is not on the table. prep myself on my boundaries and rules for what i will not put up with#and accept that if she does something shitty in response to me keeping myself safe then i have to be prepared to call it off immediately#then. i would see my friends again a lot more often than just one on one every couple months because every group thing involves her#fuck. i dont know. i really really dont want to talk to her ever again but god fucking dammit.#im prepared to move on and rebuild my life and invest in other relationships. i am. ive done it before and slowly built from the ground up.#i can do it again. but it fucking sucks when its most of my irl friends all at once.#idk. idk. i miss my dog so much it hurts but it would be much worse to see her now after how my ex treats her when im not there to stop it#its just something i cant let myself think about or ill just spiral and i cant do that. theres nothing i can do about it. i cant stop it.#fuck.
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due to Circumstances, I now have a persimmon seedling and a quince tree, and I am pretty enthused about this
#those are the two fruits I most want to grow#I chose persimmon but the variety I bought in the fall apparently didn't make it#so they offered a baby of another variety + the quince to make up the price difference and YES#now#do I realistically have room for two trees in my front yard period?#let alone a fucking persimmon?#hard maybe!!#but lawns as we know are overrated#and sunny barren DRY as FUCK lawns like this one are definitely a waste of space#so. oops it's a mini orchard now#(the objectively correct answer here is to get rid of the giant invasive maple in the front lawn#which I will do if and when the persimmon gets uh persimmon-sized#but that'll be quite a while)#(I have a back yard also. it is Very Shaded. I love trees!!)#(I am also very glad my neighbors who own 2/3 of the giant pines shading the back#realized it'd be a truly stupid expense to take them down for no reason#look if one of them miraculously falls SIDEWAYS onto my house I will be sad for sure but my dudes that ain't the prevailing wind direction#also they seem perfectly healthy (though I would like to somehow find an arborist whose job isn't primarily Cut Down)#and while I will also be very sad if one even more miraculously drops itself or a huge branch on a person in the yard...#rational risk/benefit analysis folks let's get us some)
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so judging by how astonished people are by it every time we explain it to anybody, it seems like my wife and I might really be onto something here
during the pandemic, we invented something we call "astronaut time."
when it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks. one of us is outside the space station and one of us is inside the space station. our radios do not work and we have no way of communicating with each other. we might see each other through the lil porthole windows, but we ignore each other because we both have different things to do.
"astronaut time" is how we get total privacy when we live in the same apartment. I will pretend you don't exist. You will pretend I don't exist. we have a nonverbal, zero-contact signal for when astronaut time is over (usually "I'll draw a smiley-face on the whiteboard in the kitchen when I'm done"). No talking, stay out of each other's line of sight, we are actively avoiding each other, unless you are currently experiencing a medical emergency goodbye.
it has been. a godsend. imagine living with your partner and being able to close every single tab in your brain related to social interaction. no fear of being interrupted by a "hey, quick question--" or "sorry to bother you, but do you know where the scissors are?" or "did you want something to eat, too?" Once or twice a month, we look at each other lovingly, hold hands, and say "baby I think I need some astronaut time tonight," and the other person goes "okay cool. bye! have a nice night!" and nobody's feelings are hurt and we both go and have a lovely evening completely by ourselves.
like idk it's a small thing but it's made our lives so much nicer, so if you and your partner/roommate are both people who sometimes need total privacy in order to recharge, maybe try it
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tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it
#Tanrentially related to rhis is i used to just get so stressed out as a kid bc i was like . one day there will be no more ppl born in 2005#and there will never be New people who were born in 2005 or any other year the number only ever goes down once the years done. this was a#big fear for younger me For some reason. it was this and the like. ok. so#two things. 1. i used to just space out and truly forget i was human and be fully one with a universe and then id despair when i remembered#that i was avtually just a little girl and a real person and i existed. bc id zoom out and it all seemed so inconsequential and it was#lovely. i say 'used to' this still happens just not the same way#and rhe other thing is Id get incredibly freaked out bc id like. id be doing something like. nothing. passing time or reading or whatever#but then id have a moment of clarity and id be like. If i forget this moment tomorrow did it ever actually happen. and id think of how many#moments r just gone from my life bc i dont remember them like. that was a big fear for me as a kid was id just be sitting somewhere and id#be like. this moment is real right now because im living it but if i forget about it than it never actually happened because im not like.#being observed. its just me and if i dont remember it than it never really happened. and this happened so often that it felt like a chain of#myself thinking that exact same thought and just like. looking back and seeing all those moments Kind of thing. but anyways basically i dont#think either of those early fears and terrors have anything to do with my current day psyche so we dont need to talk abt it 👍 except that#we like. have. bc i talked abt it... but whateverrr not my business !#its kinda funny tho i remember like. trying to talk to my dad abt my like Deeply held fear that i wasnt real unless i was being observed#and his response was basically like. That sounds crazy. dont say stuff like that it makes you sound crazy . DJFNJFNGG#and then later was shocked when i didnt go to him for mental health help and its like ... well ... + just yelling at me whenever i cried in#front of him to either 'tell him why i was upset or hed guve me something to cry about'#and its like. well tbh father i dont actually want to explain that im being groomed online rn in the car with the entire family here#including The baby and the 6 year old . but ok . thats cool. and obviously id cry more from being yelled at#sry this got whiny its fine. i was annoying for crying in front of everyone NFNFJFN even tho i wasnt trying to. obviously. i hate crying in#front of ppl
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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Man we hit a good dosage for angus's meds and hes like. Acting like his old self right now. Def with the energy down like 90% but hes exploring my room and playing with toys and his back legs are holding his weight and it's so nice to see again
#unfortunately it wont last forever#but im kinda ignoring the vet rn#she set his dose to 2.5 mls but due to a mix up with the pharmacy im only giving him 1.5 rn#but it seems to be really working#and id rather hold him here so i can go up again when he starts declining again#palliative care man. his meds & vet visits r so expensive rn but. worth it to see his old self coming back a bit#even though i know it's temporary#the slowburning grief of take care of a pet with a terminal diagnosis can be interspersed with bright moments#so im just dwelling in that for now#also rip i gave up half my floorspace in my room for ango bc of the fucking ANTS that invaded his space downstairs. infuriating#tho tbh i like him up here and he does better up here so i might just keep this lmao#anyways. boy cute i love him <3#baby: angus#the heavy stuff is mostly in the tags but ik some people r sensitive to this topic?#idk what the tags ppl use for it are tho so if u see this and want me to tag stuff about angus's health just lmk what to use#i dont anticipate posting about it very often but u never know
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I'm being so brave right now about a podcast I used to like swallowing the Russian propaganda kool aid.
#how disappointing#it was a podcast about the rise in antisemitism so I was hoping it would address how bad it's getting in leftist spaces#but instead I listened to the first ten minutes and the host kept only giving examples of right wing antisemitism#everyone already knows right wing antisemitism is bad. it's baby level knowledge ffs#and then they said 'British police are probably the most antisemitic people in the world right up there with UKRAINIAN NAZIS'#I couldn't take them seriously after that#Ukraine actually has one of the lowest percentages of neo nazis in Eastern Europe#Here are some stats: only 5% of Ukranians stated that they would not like to have Jews as their fellow citizens#which isn't great#but when you compare it to these percentages when the following countries were asked the same question:#14% in Russia and Hungary#16% in Greece#poland 19%#Romania 22%#32% in Armenia#hmm doesn't pass the sniff test#almost like the host has a bias#Russia would love you to think Ukraine is Nazi heaven#I used to like this podcast#as of today I will no longer listen to them#i operate on the woeful philosophy that facts matter#antisemitism#Also while I'll never be right wing I no longer call myself a leftist#way too much fucking hate coming from 'progressives' now#you are not immune to propaganda
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i have a fever. let's imagine pokemon world dash discourse together. (sorry i do not have darkmode.)
🤳🏻 pokestopit reblogged team-sprocket
👻 gengaydar Follow
For the last fucking time owning a gengar is NOT graverobbing. what is actually wrong with you people
#gengar #why am i even still on this site #i don't have a gengar but like. what's even going on over there #is marowak graverobbing now too??
💅 deerlinguist reblogged givemeyourstrongestpotion
👩❤️👩 lightscreend Follow
farfetch'd is like the most edible pokemon just because he comes with his own aromatics. pop that bad boy in the oven with some oran berries.... don't mind if i do
⚧ feministforcepalm Follow
@dyketraining tags pass peer review
🚣🏼♂️ magicarpaltunnel reblogged haxorsus
🐦⬛ corvikite Follow
I love to hate things and people. And when I turn out to be RIGHT and that person is a DICK? All parasocial relationships are bad and evil unless I am right about hating someone and then parasocial relationships are good actually
🪐waterbubbil Follow
We all thought about the same person let's just be honest here....
🎀 contest-winrar Follow
For me it's always going to be people who keep Pokémon without any thought as to their enrichment and needs. You do not need a fucking Arcanine, you live in a studio apartment and don't walk more than a block a day. You think you want a Gardevoir but are you okay with having an unknowable creature reading your thoughts every waking moment of the day? Even while you do... the nasty?
It drives me crazy because people see a Champion and think they have the time, energy, money, and space necessary to raise a Dragon type. Unless you have generational wealth, let me spell it out for you: you do not have the funds for a Dragon type. And yes! Charizard is on that list, guys! You can't even afford to feed yourself!
📯 jessiejustlickme Follow
local tumblr user declares the poors only get rat pokemon. maybe a bug pokémon if we are very good. we must grovel in the streets amen
🎀 contest-winrar Follow
Laugh all you want but I'm serious. I have heard of someone who is living with a MR. MIME like it's her HUSBAND!!!! That's fucking GROSS. These are creatures that TRUST us and NEED us.
Did you know that most Ponyta prefer to be in a herd? Are you going to have the space for that? Did you know that if you don't properly care for certain fire species their flame goes out? Sure, they're cute when they're small: but unless you're a rancher or a Gym Leader... I'm sorry. You're gross to me if you think otherwise. I hate people like that.
And for the record, rat and bug Pokémon are very valuable from an ecological standpoint. They hold an extremely important niche. People like you would rather they be hunted to extinction because they're pests, not pretty. It's disgusting.
🐦⬛ corvikite Follow
anybody in this thread smoke weed
#NOT THE RATS FOR THE POOR PEOPLE... GIRLLLLLL #the thing is they're not like... wrong.... #like i agree with the sentiment #my friend tried to get a slyveon just by like. playing catch a few times #.... like you do need to try.... #also fyi i have a large species so i'm biased #grovyle my baby . my man. u are costing me like so much in pokepuffs per month
👁🗨 badsol
why are we all talking about what pokemon to eat tonight lmafo
#.... obviously jigglypuff. homegirl is 90% cotton candy
🪅 feebassguitar reblogged metrognome
🫖 sinisteacher Follow
Like okay I got into science because I love to learn but the more I find out about how we've classified Pokémon types the more insane I feel. What do you mean there's no singular true indicator? What do you mean that there are several conditions which completely alter their base type?
Literally today my lab partner and I got into a very serious discussion about Luxray. That thing is a fuckking dark type!!!!! I'm sorry!!! I don't care what Bulbapedia says!!!! anyway i threw a pokeball at him and it swallowed him whole and now i'm going to jail for unlawful imprisonment of a TA
🍙 thesandwichking Follow
there's something, like, very dystopian about the idea that if u put an ugly hat on ur favorite little creature it changes like. the DNA. like. do other pokemon look at what you've done and cower? that's their friend... similar but changed... forever having known a life that is entirely alien to them...
🐳 wailordsupreme Follow
.... Are we going to ignore that OP swallowed a human into a ball???
#yes we are. #my friend loves those hats but I think they're so ugly #and stupid #if i wanted a specific type imma get that type..... #typesetting #show james
🧗♀️ backpacksandcavesnacks reblogged eevee-lotion
👑 lemmegrabmyballs Follow
ROUND 5 of 6 (see blog for more)
PLEASE REBLOG FOR VISIBILITY:
✍️ dreepydrabbles reblogged ash-hole
☠️ marrowhackoff Follow
just saw someone say writing omegaverse fanfic of your pokemon is bestiality. ma'am this is the monster fucking site. you should be grateful that it's only omegaverse.
#the things i've seen would melt your eyebrows clean off your face #..... typhlosion they could never make me hate you baby #i know that's not what's in your heart
🪽 honey-tree-skies reblogged gymcrawler
🐛 youngstirjoey Follow
Okay say what you will. But shorts really are comfy and easy to wear
���🏽 intimidatecutsyourattack Follow
Sorry bud. But. Investing at 3 notes
🐛 youngstirjoey Follow
don't do this to me. i h avue a wife . and chi ld
#anyway. sorry. it's 1:30 in the morning and the Vibes possessed me.#pokemon#dash simulator#i don't have mobile i hope it still looks good lol#this took me like 3 hours#slightly edited to account for a glitch in spacing
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