#idk. I like better media now
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after two years i finally draw the favorite
#my art#still learning honestly. idk how to explain it but some medias youre so fixated on and obsessed with u instantly want to draw everyone#for me dunmeshi has always been the opposite. series and characters i enjoy sm i cannot bring myself to pick up a pencil#for some reason. it got a lot worse once the anime started airing idk. simply forcing myself to get some of my energy out. in a way#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#thistle#dunmeshi thistle#thistle dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#>_< series i was into since late 2021. yet u wouldnt know that unless u follow my side twitter account. sowwy ig#i do this with a lot of franchises honestly. cannot bring myself to draw even if i think abt the characters constantly. ie skip to loafer#u will nvr catch me calling this guy sissel sorry. save that name for Mr. Ghost Trick. another thing i. also. dnt talk abt. which i adore#i need to get better at talking abt and expressing myself for the things that i enjoy. ive been wanting to draw laios for a good#while too but im scared. for some reason. u-u should nvr let a white man do that to me honestly.#for now i'll thistle tho. maybe we will get kabru namari or mithrun next from me >_< i have to talk myself into it#i think the closest way i can explain why i cannot bring myself to draw for some series is that i dnt want to mess up somehow#like 'ilu so much [character] what if i cnt draw u the way u deserve even tho i love u sm what if its not enough.' <- leaves it to sm1 else#tbh [scratches head] i prefer the version with less coloring ^-^ but i realize the one thats more colored would get more eyes on it... hm
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Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.
There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:
“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”
And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).
I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)
To quote RTD:
“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”
This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)
—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?
How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?
And this just keeps happening.
And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.
The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.
#dot and bubble#fifteenth doctor#rtd critical#anti rtd#ricky september#lindy pepper bean#dw negativity#racism#antiblackness#words by seaweed#not to be anti rtd. im just very critical. Anti RTD is just a tag which people use or block#every showrunner has their flaws but RTD is the only one self-righteously virtu signling over NOTHING. which is why im more critical.#plus the on-set sxual hrassment and what happened with Chris Eccleston etc. it vindicates me. idk. not tryna be a hater#ALSO dot and bubble is leaps and bounds better than any racism commentary I expected from Russell T Davies. so theres that.#can you tell I'm shy abt making long posts that someone is likely gonna be not happy about-#I usually search tumblr for posts to rb and talk in tags. but I couldnt find any posts about this this morning! tho I think ppl have since#etc its fine to critically appreciate imperfect media etc I do it all the time (as a Black fan) (who also thinks Rosa has Flaws) etc#I did see someone on twitter pointing out the hypocrisy of all white writers but twitter does not have space to talk about things#also love that The Church on Ruby Road has Mark Tonderai who became the first black director w The Ghost Monument. I love his directing#but that's the Christmas special. it is not part of this season. and honestly fr it's not close to enough#love the inclusivity in front of the camera. lets get some of that in the writing team NOW. it's hurting for it.#bring back Charlene James. can you hear me? was the best episode of Season 12.#the ep felt like a commentary on the “RIP Doctor Who” ppl under every official Doctor Who post? hence social media?#it does work best that way!! it just felt a little off of that way in rtd talking#idk im rambling. I did enjoy it tho. I just wish. but well.
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guys. this will sound absolutely insane. but i was looking thru my old october 2022 sketchbook and i found poto/tkk sketches.
(dont say a single thing about my old terry silver art DONT)
two years later — EVER SO COINCIDENTALLY, ON THE SAME DAY/WEEK — IM STILL COMING BACK TO THIS.
FULL CIRCLE, BABEY. EVERYTHING IS FULL CIRCLE.
#phantom of the opera#cobra kai#terry silver#daniel larusso#poto au#doodles#old art#i’ll share some more of my old ck art from 2022. some of it i want burnt like the avt 1985 sign up paper but…. yknow#some of it has old nostalgia charm and im kinda heartwarmed by it. ❤️#i didnt even have social media btw LMFAO any poto/tkk crossover i did was purely my own big brain intuition#ahhh a part of me still goes back to these two medias as a way to cope with stuff and its just. heartwarming to see me come back to it#at a better time now. 2 years ago i wouldve loved the art im making now and#idk. JUST HAVING WEIRD FEELINGS ABOUT TIMING!!#go bird. go draw the exact same thing you drew 2 years ago on this way without realizing it. if it makes you happy. :-)
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Ngl seeing how many times reid’s got brush off bc his infodumps by his friends kinda hit the sore spot for me
#i used to talk a lot as a kid but always got told i was talking too much in like joking manner still#i just started to talk less because of that especially growing up with technology getting better and social media#kinda lower my confidence with someone new now#which also leads to me always overshares with someone new idk why#lol#fuck pms#spencer reid#mgg
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Someone please write fan fiction and make a better ending for season 4 :) like I’m begging yall, please redeem whatever the f*ck was that!!!!
It needs redemption IMMEDIATELY, like this cannot be the finale. I’m in DENIAL, I refuse to believe it ended like that, NO! :) someone needs to make it better clearly they failed
I would do it but my writing skills are horrible, unless someone wants to cowrite with me (if you have more better writing skills than me cause mine sucks) cause I have so much ideas for a good season 4 finale so if anyone wants to help me out please dm me (or comment)! Cause I really want to write a better season 4, this deserves justice 😞✊🤧
#the umbrella academy#tua#who’s idea was this????#like I can’t believe they filmed that and thought that was a great idea#if I was an actor there I would be PISSED#I would not be on board#I would rant on social media#I would be enraged#this literally makes me want to write fanfic myself to fix this shit show#maybe I would (no I wouldn’t my writing is horrible?#!*) oops ? that was an accident ^#but if I did know how to write I would be writing right now and make it better#unless someone wants to help me edit it or idk co writers#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#luther hargreeves#five hargreeves#diego hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#Lila#ben hargreeves#klave
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happy pride month you all for the month i plan to only post gay people uuuh yeah just like every other months
#i hope you like originality because i usually make this joke on twitter#well well well tumblr became my main now so..#i'll make the joke every years here now ig. unless i find a better social media#i also did a pride ttd illust that i'll post this month idk when!! if you even care#maybe i'll make pride doodles too who knows.. i'm not really in that mood rn but maybe
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Sorry for this, but people have been really fucking annoying on the comments of my posts lately that I'm really really considering privating the blog for some days or something bruh💀
#like cmon now the people on my instagram and my twitter have been behaving better that tumblr thats wild#like okay ppl aren't comenting anything like horrible but it's so stupid like-#logging into tumblr truly is something#i limited comments on the blog for only ppl that follow me for a while so if tomorrow i get anything stupid im just packing up#just for a couple of days dw#anyways sorry for venting or ranting idk what this is#but like!!! i always hear people say that tumblr is the most chill social media site and like thats not true for me bruh#well to be fair i did have some really really chill months for a while this year but i guess that's over now with october idk#anyways maybe i will post art later who knows#not art#delete later#maybe#also this is not about the people that say nice things on my posts don't worry guys this is not about them#sorry if someone thought that
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i always get nervous posting my art bc i feel like i draw him Different than how other ppl do but i guess that is a good thing kinda. peace and love. god bless🙏
#im in love with him btw. in case anyone didnt know#licorice cookie#cookie run#my art#i have more art but ^^ i stay silly#idk i feel weird posting my stuff online nowadays even though i literally need to if i wanna get a job making art😭#i used to post it all the time but being in a Fandom and feeling insecure abt the kinda different way i see media made me so sad and angry#im a lot better now but its... *sigh* yea guys it actually does help to interact with your friends irl and stay off of social media sorry#anyways omg i have so many ideas and stuff for my oc and licorie but i dont wanna be cringey!!!!!! i feel like nobody cares so i jus keep#it to myself but if anyone wants to see stuff i wouldnt mind it if u told me sumhow..
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things the US needs to address:
the collective psychosis that leads people to make posts like these
#in case it's unclear what i mean:#1.) blaming gen z men or any of the listed grifters is useless idpol#2.) half of your country did not 'vote against [your] collective best interests' lmao#if you truly believe that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the position your country occupies in the global economy#and the benefits conferred onto its citizens for supporting the imperial world order#3.) i feel like OP kept this point purposefully vague (ofc social media has on effect on the common good. what effect specifically?)#but i'll still respond by saying#social media has helped immensely in exposing how often traditional news outlets lie retract revise and outright fabricate information#the more aligned with bourgeois interests they are the worse it is#the past year of western media's reporting on the genocide in palestine has done nothing if not highlight the incongruence#between what people see n share on the ground and what narratives corporate interests deem fit to disseminate through traditional channels#the importance of following independent (which does not equal 'unbiased') journalists has never been greater#4.) 'lazy minds and lack of empathy' empathy is not some bulwark against fascism. it can actually serve to further it quite easily#idk what OP is trying to get at here. lazy point = lazy response#5.) i can't say anything here that isn't summed up better by that tweet that's like#'american *sees something american happening americanly in america*: what are we a bunch of ASIANS?!?!???'#cause there's just nooo way politicians and public figures in the US could spew reactionary nonsense and get a huge following#unless the evil russians had a hand in it#cause it's not like the US is racism central or anything#come on now#(for those unaware i'm citing this tweet bc orientalism of this kind has historically been directed at russians/slavs in addition to#people from MENA and asian countries broadly)#6.) see point number 3 above; trying to police AI is a fruitless endeavor; people need media literacy in order to#understand the interests of the parties involved in the coverage of any event and better discern the truth about what's happening;#identifying the bias inherent to any news channel and then examining how that bias impacts its reporting does far more to help dispel#misinformation than just labeling anything you don't like or you think influences people the 'wrong' way as misinformation#anyway i'm done. clown.#sansgwilie
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so I've been watching Bluey and I'm on episode 37/52 in series 1 so I feel like I've seen enough of it to have genuine thoughts (I skimmed the wikipedia page too)
the reason I started watching it was because of its reputation among millennials with kids who have been swearing up and down that it's basically free therapy for our age group. I'm definitely in the market to having my brain chemistry altered but after 37 episodes, I don't know that I'm there yet. there is still a lot of show left to go though, and some of the most-circulated clips I've seen on social media have been in episodes I haven't come across yet, so that is subject to change.
what I CAN say is that Bluey is objectively a very good tv show that 100% deserves its Peabody award. it's thoughtful, fun, and honestly funnier than it has any right to be. I've laughed out loud more than once. Joe Brumm made the show with the intention of it being entertaining for both kids and parents and he absolutely nailed that balance, I think. in that way, it's not a kid show; it's a family show. and I like that (and I'm pleasantly surprised by how well it works!).
I haven't been a kid for a long time so it's hard for me to put myself in the shoes of a child, especially in a world that is so drastically different from mine. I think this is the first kid show I've seen that prominently features things like smartphones. I know those shows exist--the new Blue's Clues is a good example of how things have been updated to suit modern audiences--but it's something that caught my eye as an Old Fart (in internet years). Not as a bad or good thing, just as a "wow I'm getting older and it's getting harder to relate to or even understand childhood" kind of way. Maybe that's why people want to be parents so badly. To reconnect with that. I can sympathize with that feeling.
the show focuses a lot on Bluey and her sister and friends navigating the world through imaginative play, which I love and has a solid backing in child developmental psychology. I actually just started learning a little bit about play therapy (I follow a play therapist on tiktok who kinda got me into it, I love her), so I feel like I've been getting a little bonus bit of enrichment out of the show for that. it's like when you're watching a movie that's partly in another language and you don't speak the language but you recognize it and can maybe pick out a couple words? it's like that.
I think Brumm really captured lightning in a bottle with this project. you can feel the love it's made with. the storylines are grounded with just the right touch of an almost magical or fantastical quality that really makes you feel childlike wonder even as a cynical and deeply depressed 30-something. There's conflict and mess, sure, but built on a foundation of safety and community, and I think that's probably what's resonating with (american) millennials. we inherited so much instability and pain from our previous generations that it's hard to believe a world or even a family unit like Bluey's could exist. parents who love each other? who are active in their children's lives? who apologize when they do something wrong? COULDN'T BE US!
all this to say I'm enjoying the show, it's heartwarming, it's charming, it's delightful, and I hope Joe Brumm lives forever. but it's also very much designed for children so like. I worry the millennial parents crying over this show on tiktok may be overselling it.
#my diary#watcher diaries#idk do I tag this for real in a detectable way#children's media#bluey#idk if there's a way to come out of saying 'I think kid media is neat' without sounding like a creep or a loser#but it is what it is idk it's interesting from a developmental psychology and sociological perspective I think#I don't know that this show is healing my inner child or anything like that#but it's been a fun way to take breaks between assignments cuz the episodes are only 7 minutes long#I DEFINITELY would have made my sister watch this if it had been around when she was little#this show is babysitting gold right here#you can also tell that the original seed of a concept was like 'peppa pig but make it australian'#I don't think I've seen enough peppa pig to say if bluey is better or not#but I can see the inspiration now that it's been pointed out to me#it kinda reminds me of the rugrats with the story beats and how it handles humor#I'm having fun!#also I see why people wanna fuck the dad dog now#I don't want to personally but I can see why people are being like that#he's funny and charming!#dude's got two kids he obviously has game
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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good
#i'm usually a sebastian kinda guy but i do think it's silly you have to say you like scifi to gain friendship points w him like cmon man#i will say though that. my bestie's baby daddy being named shane kinda does make it hard to like him 😭 unfortunate but not his fault#ik a lot of ppl are weird abt his recovery and his messy ass room bc they play stardew to make things look pretty or whatever#but i'm actually kind of glad he's a realistic depiction of addiction... the problem is his dependence on indulging in alcohol when he's#depressed not the fact that he drinks period... i think that a lot of ppl are unrealistic abt alcoholism (including me abt my dad's)#but concernedape did really good w him imo. anyways all this to say that i'm really glad shane never expects someone to be a certain way#i know most of the candidates are like. archetypes or whatever and i think that's fine they are very sweet and cute regardless but#i think maybe i didnt romance him before bc i related to him so badly that it hurt seeing myself reflected LMAO dead end life and being#suicidal about it like. i've never had a drug dependence but i'm not really in a position where i can ever make my own decisions anyways#but regardless. there is smth to someone who slowly warms up to you when they can't ignore your kindness any longer and have no reason to#act like an abused dog anymore which. does make me sad just to say but that is how he acts beforehand#idkkkkk idk i think people are always too caught up with his addiction and his messy room to actually see him without realizing that#getting better is a lot harder than it appears and that having a dirty room doesn't mean you aren't trying to be better. sigh#besides it's not like. the end of the world that he has a beer sometimes. have you tried going thru life completely sober? it sucks#ok im done LMAO but yeah i've found myself gravitating towards him this time around when i've romanced sebastian literally every playthru#til now. hmm!#ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING. i like how he's basically a twist on the classic useless husband trope in media where they love sports and drinking#but he's not a bad person and the only reason he's mean to you at first is because he hates himself and his own life and he makes an effort#the more you get close to him instead of the opposite. i like that a lot. ok now i'm done
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,,, little lemmings in line...
#adamandi#needed this. idk. shameless fluff. i. sjdhdjfhfhfhfhf viewing this doodle just makes me happy ok#something silly. i feel like lately i've been a lot more earnest on this blog and it's nice!!#the imagery that the lyrics evoke.... goes so hard actually. consider this maybe an outtake of the last 'where can i run' thingy#yes i get the whole lemmings off a cliff thing but also i think taking it at face value would be cute therefore this#since basically they refer to the rest of the students as lemmings.. he's human in this one i guess.#quincent thoughts. many many. but also i have been maybe avoiding engaging with quincy on a more intense level? until i am in a better#mental state to do so. because the whole academic perfection and self harm is a Thing i would like to engage with Properly without spirals#yay on me for being healthy about media! not normal and never normal. but healthy is good i guess#... hm. family is being iffy lately because you're supposed to have good acads And not stressed but i refuse to feel guilty anymore.#after this period i'll go bonkers over him and in the meantime unfortunately they won't feature as much in the content.. :<#anyways. fun fact about lemmings is that it's not necessarily a derogatory blindly leaping to deaths thing when it comes to the actual ones#like that's the phrasing and connotation right. but apparently it's more of they leap off cliff into water below or smth to migrate and onl#the rare few die (skill issue??um) and apparently the whole association was propagated by some documentary wildlife drama thing that kind o#.... hastened the chasing of the poor things off the cliff and filmed it. a bit messed up. and like i guess what a nice metaphor for the#academic context here? or a different one at least. where only a few die so they keep doing it but also for the Average lemming following#following the system is not inherently bad.. maybe i'm projecting.#anyways peep the tiny character shorthands now.. ambrose has the jacket/ bea has the hat and gloves with strings: portia has the bow on hea#quincy has the bowtie and glasses /(beatrix also has glasses. i forgot about those until i was drawing quincy's.)#'avvy why are they standing up' you ask? because four legs looked weird with ambrose's jacket. 'why did you give lemmings glasses?' ummmmm#i guess recognisability? don't look too much into it#outtakes of this include vincent standing in a circle of lemmings. it's badly drawn and frankly hilarious because they're all tiny and#below the knee.#'avvy these don't look like realistic lemmings' you are very right. i am sorry. i looked for a crowd of lemmings on google images and all i#found were political cartoons... i Can draw animals technically i swear#anyways! emotional support adamandi doodle out. going to start work now!#oh i forgot to tag the characters... hm... i guess i'll leave out the lemmings..#?#vincent aurelius lin#.
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For anyone annoyed by the Tumblr changes, if you're on desktop I would recommend using XKit Rewritten (and New XKit for any other odd changes you'd like to try out, including even older aspects of Tumblr). It's the older version of Rewritten but most of the extensions on it are still supported/do work). I can't guarantee they'll definitely make a fix for it/a direct fix for this particular UI change, but it's possible that they might since they usually make extensions that allow you to essentially revert changes made to the UI. Other various UI extensions (such as old ones from Tumblr's past UIs that the extensions basically just revert you to) may also help fix up your UI.
As you might expect these extensions need to be on to work/revert the appearance of the UI (so if you turn them off you'll revert to the current state of Tumblr), but while they are on you can curate your UI to look how you want it. This goes for both New XKit and XKit Rewritten. I use both and I couldn't live without them lol. You can get some big oldies of Tumblr's, like classic search on Rewritten or the Tweaks extension (full of various UI tweaks) on New XKit (including the old shade of blue Tumblr used a long time ago that I never stopped using!).
Unfortunately I don't know of any solution for mobile if it affects mobile at any point (or if it already has), but whenever you're on desktop, I would definitely recommend both these versions of XKit. I have so many extensions from them that I often don't even realize when there are UI changes (remember how Tumblr added themes for your dashboard? I didn't even notice for the longest time because I've had New XKit on the whole time) because Tumblr's default coding is overwritten by the extensions I have on.
#DCB Comments#literally like when was the last time I was bothered/affected by a big UI change#idk bc I always have XKit on lol fhjaghjfg like half the time I don't even notice there was a change#atm I can't tell if I just haven't been hit by the change yet or if all the extensions I'm using are preventing it#bc I use a LOT of old interface extensions so in a sense I'm using an older version/look to Tumblr#I also heard a techbro runs Tumblr now so don't be surprised that this site is going to#end up looking like a Twitter clone. techbros want all social media to look exactly identical#while still claiming to want to one up each other and act like they have the bigger/better company#like nah bruh y'all're the same and y'all're shit#as much as I still hope Tumblr doesn't fall into that I feel like it will unless someone else runs Tumblr soon :'(#like buddy I don't use Twitter much at all anymore for a reason. well a lot of reasons#anyway get New XKit for lots of OLDER older Tumblr stuff and Rewritten for newer stuff/updated New XKit stuff#New XKit still works fine it's just that they made a newer/more improved version of New#if you've never used XKit make sure to use NEW and REWRITTEN tho#the original XKit is probably no longer functional and I don't even know if it's still on the app stores#last I knew of it most of its extensions were so outdated that they broke a long time ago#but you can use both of the newer ones together actively and it works amazingly
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nothing more freeing than being attracted to midsize and fat men. sigh
#I’ve gone from little cis girl obsessed with fake muscle skinny guys#because that was all I really saw in media deemed ’attractive’#and I didn’t know any better about myself to realize I wasn’t actually super into that and I just went with it#to now being wholeheartedly happy with experiencing attraction to someone’s character and themselves as a person#and also realizing holy shit so many bodies are attractive it’s kinda insane#like legit idk what it is about ‘realistic average’ or midsize wtv guys but like yeah okay get it yknow#visible tummy through shirt I’m obsessed. bigger arms bigger thighs awooga amirght boys#this is entirely because I’ve been watching Smosh and Game Changer clips for like three hours straight#if you want a better idea of the body type I’m describing think Damian Haas / Shane Topp / Brennan Lee Mulligan
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(*・ω・*)b♪
#I'm a bit late but :)#Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol#I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime.#I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc#I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga.#But even then it's just...#Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage#It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless.#I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!!#For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate.#Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him.#And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally!#Do people irl never act irrationally?”#And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand.#But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read?#That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second–#so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol.#On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL.#The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭#I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies#(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.)#Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place#And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is–#blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but...#Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because–#a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay#Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao)#But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty.#random rambles
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you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.
but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.
at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...
but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.
#tales from diana#im sorry how much dramatic backstory that anecdote required#that one girl and her friend are still some of the most baffling pieces of that story to me#like i hate to say it but i was not shocked that all but like two of those guys really liked or respected me at all#none of them seemed to like any of the other girls in the friend group#they just barely seemed to tolerate their friends' girlfriends. bc they had to#and some of those guys didn't even seem to like or respect their girlfriends#both of those girls who bullied me were some of 'the girlfriends' and i have to be honest. i wouldnt wanna be 'the girlfriend' there#neither of them are still w their then-boyfriends and im pretty sure for both of them it ended awfully#idk what happened to the really particularly aggressive one who thought kaily said 'burn in hell'#but for some reason like 6 months later when she and her bf broke up she unfriended me on fb#i had never unfriended her in case she wanted to apologize at any point (i had hope... 20 year old nonsense again i was really naive)#but then yeah another 6 months later she and the other girlfriend (still in a relationship at that time) just blew up at me and some others#for like no reason. just bc we all stayed friends... w each other#like i promise u i never went out of my way to bother these girls in any way. directly or indirectly. they just had to say#'its been a year and i still hate you guys' like why. we were literally all adults. we didnt go to school together we never saw each other#we were all just frankly moving on but i guess they were not over it#the other girl whose relationship lasted longer had maybe the worse boyfriend? definitely the worse breakup#he abandoned her for another woman and kicked her out of their living space#she was literally begging on social media for help#and again that guy was a monster who did not seem to really love her. he's married to the other woman now#they have a kid together#idk where either of those girls are now bc basically all their friends abandoned them#feels like if they had chosen their allies better way back when we were 20-21 itd have been different#which is not to blame them. but like. i would not have let that happen to my friends#but the fact that anyone stood up for me when i was being bullied was 'starting drama'#and the fact that they all let their problems pile up until their lives are destroyed? well i guess thats just being civilized and mature#sorry if this is just sounding incredibly judgmental bc i dont think they deserve their situations at all#but i dont think their choices didnt play some role in their being eventually discarded by rotten fuckin men#they were pretty rotten to me too. poor things...
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