#idk who wrote this but that was funny
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thank you, genius annotation contributor
#elton john#lyrics#genius#this made me giggle#i cant lie#idk who wrote this but that was funny#props to them#🐈⬛ — lillie's thoughts
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Still thinking about this post bc these two morons have taken over my mind.
And I'm just like. Even after the revelation that Alastor thinks Vox is attractive, and even AS Vox is trying to get this idiot oblivious deer to realize he likes him, Alastor doesn't really change how he treats Vox. Like, at all.
The only change is that now part of his mockery is calling him stupid for not realizing that he's the most eligible demon in hell, lmao (he didn’t realize Vox didn't already know, how stupid of him).
He still likes picking fights and actually fighting him for real. (It's Fun and Entertaining - and for him, nothing has changed that would make him stop)
And I'm kind of thinking that THIS, and not everything else, is what makes Vox realize that Alastor ISN'T mocking him about this. He's serious. Because surely if this was an entire plot to make fun of him, Alastor would at least ATTEMPT to woo him properly before he pulls out the rug from under him, right? He wouldn't just continue on with his day as if he didn't just upend Vox's entire afterlife.
Like, maybe after the first conversation, and after Vox powers back on, he's hopeful, but he knows both what he looks like and what ALASTOR'S like, so he kind of just assumes that Alastor has figured out his less than 100% rival feelings towards him and decided to add it to his mockery.
But then he shows up the next day, determined to beat Alastor at his own game (he will PRETEND to be wooed and then throw it back on him when Alastor tries to mock him, it'll surely work! Totally). And Alastor is like, "Why are YOU back here?!" And doesn't even act any different towards Vox than he did the day before the Revelation.
And Vox is like. Oh, fuck. He was serious.
Suddenly, Vox realizes that, rather than the Normal Hell he THOUGHT he lived in (one where Alastor makes fun of his crush on him) he lives in Weird Hell, where now he has to somehow convince Alastor that he just, is attracted to him and NOT that everyone, somehow, is just. In love with him? Or something??? (What the Fuck?)
There are times when he's tired of fighting with Alastor about this, that a part of him wishes he DID live in Normal Hell, because at least he'd know what to do. (It's not like Val doesn't ALSO mock his crush on Alastor, he at least knows how to respond to THAT).
Even when he convinces Alastor to date him (to make everyone (who doesn't exist, by the way) jealous), Alastor still barely treats him any different. He still pokes and teases at Vox, even as he is (seemingly unintentionally) complimenting him.
One time, Alastor is like, "We haven't fought in ages, we should do that the next time we plan an outing!"
Vox, about to lose it because he had just NOW thought he understood what was going on: What the fuck??! I thought we were dating, why do you still want to kill me?!
Alastor: Dear, we've never been trying to kill each other! If we were, one of us would be dead, ha ha! This is entertainment, pure and simple!
(Translation: Alastor is bored and requires enrichment in his enclosure).
And now Vox has to now grapple with the fact that Alastor apparently saw fighting with him as fun, and not, y'know, rivals legitimately trying to kill one another. What.
--
Also, Valentino notices very quickly the sudden change in Vox's demeanor - usually when they fight, Vox doesn't take long before coming to him for forgiveness. Or, the few times he doesn't, Val doesn't have any difficulties changing Vox's mind (and getting Vox to buy him whatever he wants).
So, when Val decides that if Vox is going to stay pissy about his little comment, he'll "apologize" - ("Come on, amorcito, you know you're the only one for me! Those whores mean nothing compared to you!") But Vox, just, doesn't forgive him and go back to his arms. And Valentino is at a loss.
He LOSES it when he finds out Vox has been hanging at that shitty hotel and chasing that radio bastard (again!). He doubles his efforts of letting Vox know there is absolutely No Way Alastor cares for him at all, let alone as much as Valentino does!
And then Vox and Alastor are dating, and Val tries to shoot one (or both) of them. (He also tries to get Vox to leave Alastor for him when he finds them fighting and destroying empty buildings in a part of the pentagram, but it doesn't work because once they're done fighting Alastor is like "Well, that was fun!" And invites Vox to dinner after, lol. The fighting was the date activity for the day for the silly little radio man, and Vox is too confused to question it.)
(Also, ironically, Val being pissed at Alastor dating Vox just validates Alastor's beliefs - because it never occurs to him to Val is mad because keeping Vox hanging off of him made it easier for Val to get whatever he wants).
--
But, slowly, Vox is starting to realize that, despite Alastor INSISTING that he's not into him and is only dating him for the (nonexistent) clout - he does weirdly care in his own way, and somehow, he's a more romantic partner to him than Valentino ever was, even without seeming to even try to be or realizing it.
One time, Alastor notices that Vox not been to the hotel once in the past few days (since this whole thing has started, he's basically been showing up consistently), so he goes to break into Vee tower to see what's up.
"What's up" is Vox overworking himself and not sleeping for days and only consuming energy drinks as he hasn't left his little computer dungeon even once.
So. Alastor just. Kidnaps him. Refuses to listen as Vox is like, yelling that this project needs done, like, yesterday!
Alastor: Dear, are there not two others in your team who could do this?
Vox: Val is fucking useless at this shit, and Velvette doesn't care if it's late!
Alastor: Well, what's the point of them? You should let me eat them for this. Regardless, it's been at least 3 days of this for you, so if they wish for it to be on time, they can do it themselves.
And then Alastor just brings them back to his room and forces Vox to eat a real meal, before picking him up and dumping him on his bed.
(Vox, suddenly wide awake: What the fuck. What the FUCK. Since when were we having sex?!?!)
(They're not. Alastor changes his clothes to pajamas and threatens to eat one of his employees for every minute he's not sleeping for the next 8 hours.)
(Vox wonders what's wrong with him that he considers this to be romantic).
Either way, Vox passes out for at least 10 hours before waking up to 30+ missed calls, 50+ missed texts, and 100+ missed emails, all wondering where he disappeared to and why the project he was working on wasn't finished. Once again, Alastor offers to eat them. Vox refuses to find it charming. (He's lying, he does).
Especially since after this incident, Alastor will break into Vee tower now more often if he thinks Vox hasn't eaten or slept properly.
And then, one day, Vox just realizes that, despite Alastor saying to the contrary, they're definitely, like, dating for real. But Vox can't tell Alastor that, because any time he even implies this, he calls Vox an idiot because he's only dating him for publicity. (Never acknowledging that, like, anything he does for Vox that isn't in the public eye is very clearly not for that, lol)
#radiostatic#vox#alastor#hazbin hotel#fic#mine#hazbin alastor#hazbin vox#hi sorry this is a Valentino hate blog only#long post#im sorry i see the vox and val relationship as not great and that val does a lot of the same love bombing to vox as he does to angel#esp in this au#idk what to call this au#i like the term weird hell bc its funny to me#Alastor's love language is picking fights and offering to eat anyone who bothers them#i also accidentally wrote like way more than i intended lol#they have Consumed my Thoughts#Everybody Loves Vox AU
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I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.
But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.
As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?
oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be
Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot
Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)
Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.
Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up
Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.
Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.
Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.
#necrotic answerings#canon vs fanon#batfanon#batfamily#I was *going* to include “Janet and Jack Drake are bad parents”#then realized I don't really like that fanon anymore.#but I used to go *hard* for it even knowing it wasn't canon. it was all projection but still#nowadays I think the tragedy of Tim losing his parents the way he did is *far* worse if they loved him and were good to him.#I'm so serious about the Kon thing i've had *nasty* arguments where ppl got so rude to me telling me to “Google it”#like listen I get it. kon's canon backstory is currently difficult to understand#the timeline of the superboy mantle is a little confusing and most people have not read young justice (2019)#so for fanon it's far easier to simplify it as “clark just kinda sucks to kon” and i enjoy that#but the canon is also fun. it's fun when you consider how fucked up it is most people don't remember kon#and the timeline he remembers doesn't exist anymore.#also technically since they never killed off new-52!superboy on page there could be two superboys/kon-els running around rn. who knows.#i like to believe there is bc it's funny.#i have wanted to write a new-52!konkon/tim/kon sandwich#with the “is it selfcest or not” question#bc new-52!kon wasn't a clone of clark and lex.#so like. he's arguably a different character just sharing the name kon-el for some reason#also on the nightwing: renegade thing i know *damn* well most fanon-only fans haven't read it (no shade in that)#bc the fanon crowd despises devin grayson and she wrote it.#one day i'll write a meta about fandom treatment of devin grayson trust me.#this question was SO fun#i feel like i should have more answers?#if you'd asked me like six months ago this list would be three times as long#but the more i exist in this fandom somehow the saltier i get idk what's happening#so now i'm more and more attached to canon#but i will never begrudge someone for liking fanon#like i said my issue with it is the confusion of what is canon
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I think the funniest possible direction for post-Season 1 Dale is "Clocks something sus, develops a hero complex towards his abuser, and makes time for her while still ignoring his son."
City Lights AU is a cursed reality where the reason Dev didn't know Vicky abused his dad is because Dale refuses to accept that his ex-BFF is a terrible person. I can make them worse... I will make them worse.
#Fairly OddParents#A New Wish#FOP Vicky#Dale Dimmadome owner of Dimmadome Global#Dev Dimmadome owner of anguish#Toxic lemon duo#City Lights AU#Mark Chang#Red babysitter#FOP fanart#Club Redheads Who Didn't Get Mindwiped#Rotten candy apple ship tag#Lemonade and Papercuts#(Sort of)#The three kids in Panel 1 are Rufus / Jenny / Georgia. Arguably triplets; technically clutchmates. idk snake's name#In Cloudlands AU they live on Yugopotamia (Georgia's crown princess) but in City Lights they're undercover as humans :)#Secret joke: Vicky's always in Yugopotamian form at home because extra arms. She's having a hard time at the party#I didn't draw it but canonically she drops that glass due to trying to put it in a third hand#I drew this because I wrote an L&P scene this week where Dale ran into Cupid and Psyche who didn't wipe his mind#It wasn't my intention b/c I was just making “haha wouldn't that be funny if Psyche runs an adult shop?” jokes but-#Dale DID walk out of there with memory intact and that does technically earn him an invite to Club Red so. whoops.#Anyway this is Dale's first meeting since getting his mind wiped but. Gary changed the sign so he still felt welcome#Georgia Rufus Jenny Aingeal-Ashton#apparently art#FOP:ANW
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THANKS @kimdokjafan you are so kind and generous. ok im cashing in the first of three blank checks to talk about faith trust and pixie dust (most recent chatfic) because the last two directors commentaries were too serious so let's do a silly one.
some p5r spoilers, and this is mostly about sumire, and it's long again. do i need to keep disclaiming that these are long? you should know me by now.
i had this written for a while before i started formatting it because i wasn't really sure if i should post it? i feel like silly chatfic is something people go to for predominantly lighthearted nonsense so i was like, maybe there's too much plot and dramatic misunderstanding and i should just keep this one for myself. but then i was like well nothing matters and maybe someone will have fun with it. it's kind of terrible how much fully or mostly completed fic there is my docs that just doesn't see the light of day lol. write for yourself etc but i like sharing! too bad it comes with the mortifying ordeal etc. anyway that was a tangent
potato counter is a neopets game. there's no deep lore i just like neopets. i guess in this universe ryuji doesn't play neopets? or maybe he's just never played potato counter specifically. i also have a different fic where ryuji DOES play neopets. it's about neopets and ryuji and goro talking on neopets.
i think this might literally be the first time ive written sumi in a fic because i haven't actually written that much fic for royal, like, now that im looking, literally almost none? and none that had a group dynamic. so it was kind of fun to find her voice for the first time in a silly groupchat like this. i was worried people would find her exclamation marks annoying but i personally thought it was endearing so i added it in there.
every time i do a gag where a character corrects their own typo i have to code more stupid little bubbles to make it happen but i think it's worth it. all the effort that goes into making tgis look as much like a real chat as possible
this obviously doesnt take place in the canon p5/r universe, but im imagining sort of a postcanon sumi personality where she's more comfortable being herself and isn't borrowing kasumi's brand of confidence, but she's visibly a really anxious person without that kasumi veneer. i also think in this universe sumire is a fairly recent addition to the friend group, and while everyone likes her a lot and she really likes them, i kind of wanted to emphasise that feeling of being in a friend group where everyone's established and you're sort of a plus-one? you don't really fit yet. part of that is her being new, part of it is her anxiety, part of it is just the kind of person sumi is where she's so polite and self-conscious she ends up taking herself out of things with her own good intentions. stuff like her interrupting the flow of an existing conversation by greeting everyone instead of jumping straight in because she doesn't feel comfortable inserting herself, which means everyone else stops to greet her even though that doesn't normally happen in a friend group, or making a point of thanking everyone for being invited to events while the others take it as a given.
idk i love that she feels a bit out of place with the phantom thieves in p5r. and part of that is a natural consequence of being a new addition in royal who can't be naturally integrated with an existing dynamic but i honestly feel like the writing team realised that and acknowledged it, and really leaned into it, and that made it work incredibly well for me. like, it's part of her character that she's sort of an outsider. it's not like p4g's incredibly clumsy integration of marie and subsequent attempt to shove her down everyone's throat as the canon love interest in p4ga (knife). sumi has that outsider vibe on purpose and it makes me really like her dynamic with the thieves as an individual
goro also feels slightly out of place in these chats, but his conversational style blends more naturally with the other thieves at this point and he even uses their codenames sometimes. i keep saying my chatfic series isn't a real Series because the lore keeps changing, but if we accept that they're all kind of following a General Continuity, assume this takes place some time after the last fic in which ren added goro to the groupchat and they made an effort to integrate him into their friend group. he's kind of there now and has settled into being the weird boyfriend. that's his role.
every time goro says something like "ren and i" assume it's the text equivalent of him talking to the group with his arm around ren's waist.
ok i got really fond of this silly running joke where sumi brings up the weather when she's feeling uncomfortable. she's so polite. i like this thread because setting it up meant i got to tie it off like this:
this just made me happy lol i liked writing this. i tried to use it to demonstrate that despite goro's abrasiveness he obviously knows sumire pretty well, he's attuned to her quirks and knows how to tell when she's having a bad time with her anxiety, so he uses her little weather habit to ground her.
i honestly dont think goro and sumire could be considered close in p5r and as much as i like the "royal trio" in canon they're not really... like... friends? with each other? they're both attached to ren, so it' more a V shape than anything else. but that said, i really LIKE goro and sumi's canon dynamic. he takes a really grouchy but politely attentive supervisory role to her during their few forays into the palace as a trio where he doesn't really know her well but clearly identifies her as a harmless little tryhard who needs some guidance and steps into that role grudgingly, and she immediately looks up to him despite being very wrong footed by his ruthlessness, which i find incredibly charming. i think given time they could be good friends, they just didn't get much chance to know each other very well in canon. so i tried to kinda do that here.
once goro stops being evil and joins the group they all kind of tiredly accept that his role is to occasionally push a cup off a bench while smirking and refuse to clean it up. emotionally, i mean.
wait i need to backtrack chronologically to talk about akeshu.
in this scene they're in the same room lol talking and snickering while typing. im trying to get at that vibe of the annoying couple who is flirting with each other, via you. you know? like ostensibly they're talking to you (sumire) but everything they say to you is part of their stupid game. sumi is incidental to goro and ren teasing each other about flirting with someone else, goro is reporting everything ren says because his boyfriend is so eye-rollingly foolish in a cute way. they're very tickled by how amusing and charming they are. gross. disgusting. sumire im so sorry for putting you through this
anyway here are too many of my favourite jokes from the fic
#futaba gets a lot of my favourite punchlines because i love her. i think she's an incredible vessel for comedic timing#once again you can see how much i overthink everything#given the amount of thought that goes into character shit for what LOOKS like a stupid 3 second chatfic#but is really. a stupid 3 second chatfic with twenty years of overthinking behind it#it takes time and effort. to be this stupid#anyway i love sumi. i think she's so cute. i like her dynamic with the thieves so much#ive said it before but i think chatfic is one of those mediums that looks so deceptively simple because#you know it's just silly dialogue and memes. it's very accessible. anyone can write a funny chatfic#but i think it's such a character-forward 'genre' that it's really really difficult to do well in the sense that it feels like the characte#s you know and not just mouthpieces for memes with familiar names attached. so im kinda obsessed with the genre#it relies so heavily on every character having a distinctive voice without trying too hard to be unique#ideally you should be able to read one of these with no names attached ands till get a general sense of who's talking#without having to rely on liek (sorry) homestuck style quirks which make it visibly obvious#that' skinda hard because irl people's typing styles aren't THAT distinct you know. theres only so many variations#you can make to a person's use of grammar punctuation capitalisation etc before it becomes a gimmick instead of an idiosyncrasy#but hopefully if the character voice is strong enough their identtiy should come through more subtly anyway. idk .idk if im there but i lov#to work towards it#wow i wrote anothr essay in the tags about my love for Modern Epistolary Fiction (chatfic)#after already writing a whole essay in the post#i mgonna shut up guys thanks for having me#rookfic#asks#p5#rookthots
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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No one:
Me: can we talk about gaius and uther for a minute. like I do think their dynamic is meant to echo the dynamic of merlin and uther in the original Arthurian texts. like. guys who have made each other sooo much worse. one of them being complicit in the horrors tm but they are too codependent to break up so they just wallow in their guilt while the other spirals into tyranny. (did I just use ‘codependent’ and ‘break up’ in ref to uther and gaius. yes)
I don't know much about og uther and merlin but that's a fascinating thought. do you think it was intentional? probably not. but I love when you can perceive some flavour of the original arthurian texts in bbc merlin's characters/dynamics
#nell may i say. it's so funny to me when you interact with my dumb bbc merlin posts like#what are you doing in my inbox? you're an academic#but I do know your origin story.#its funny you're making me think about young merlin again because I was thinking about him only yesterday#I mean bbc baby merlin but still#i literally wrote a tiny bit about it too. literally just two paragraphs which i dont think are going anywhere. maybe i'll post it idk#baby merlin. fatherless and weird and off-putting#and lonely#the devil's child. maybe#so many feelings about him!!#i was going to make a post once. about nods to arthurian texts in bbc merlin#or even things that aren't nods but could be interpreted as such#like. the false guinevere plot#or arthur fighting magical creatures. idk. because that's what he was doing at first before he started fighting saxons#idk maybe this only makes sense to me. i didn't write it in the end. it doesn't matter#anyway yeah uther and gaius. what's going on between them. fascinating#it's like i always say who cares about merlin s6#merlin prequel! if anything#asks
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love thinking of sad traumatized edgy characters in normal situations but not in a ‘how do you think X event affected the way they handle everyday life’ kinda way but in a ‘what do you think 358/2 days rikus hair care routine is like’ kinda way
#Kingdom hearts#Riku#kh riku#Idk#Either he’s a ‘mens-13-in-ones’ kinda guy or a ‘uses physical self care as a way to distract from horrific mental self care’ kinda guy#My biggest character flaw is my failure to look at sad fictional characters and concepts if there’s a funny thing I could think about/j#Guy who wrote a whole essay analyzing riku in my tags I get it and I agree completely I love riku analysis I love his complexities#I love his depiction in 358/2 it’s my favorite version of him but also I’m a funny little guy and I’m just crackin jokes around here#Unstoppable force (enjoying legitmate character discussion and analysis) vs immovable object (I just thought of a joke)
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Agent Seeley Booth accidentally being a really good representation of how America fails its ‘most devoted’ citizens (the patriotic Christian conservative white man) and how the act of patriotism, especially through enlisting in military or law enforcement is fundamentally damaging because of the copaganda fox tv show aspects of his character is one of the funniest things about bones
#this is poorly phrased#but basically a lot of his personal issues and flaws are a direct result of the attributes being championed through American propaganda#which has the opposite of it’s intended effect#like he’s legitimately such a good example of someone who has been successfully brainwashed by the very propaganda he promotes#and his obsession with being the perfect American and resultant traits are harmful to him and the people around him#which is sometimes called out (usually not)#idk it’s just funny that they kind of did the opposite of what they meant to#I’m cursed with legitimately enjoying and empathizing with Seeley Booth because I can’t see him without the context of who wrote him + when#agent seeley booth#bones#bones tv
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Me: *holds one takis chip*
The Doctor: *takes it from my hand* *eats it*
The Doctor: *regenerates*
(Not Hazbin content surprisingly, but I’ve also been on Doctor Who brain rot rewatching the series)
#doctor who#doctor who funny#doctor funny moment#silly Doctor#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#thirteenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#idk why#I wrote this#I just pictured me giving the doctor#a takis chip#and struggling#no#the Doctor#just snatching food#out of my hands
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I know I’ve made other posts talking about or alluding to this but like. obviously there are like the old hollywood movies in the sort of dyke subtext canon (all about eve, rebecca, johnny guitar, etc) but like. there are so many movies that like 10 people have seen but I have such a clear gay vision or interpretation for it. most of them aren’t even GOOD. and yet!!
like the great lie is the one that haunts me the most (or the women but I think that one is kind of different for me perhaps bc I’ve already talked about it here a lot or perhaps bc I think of it as being more well known and watched than I think it actually is? actually it’s probably that I think it is an overall good and well executed and entertaining movie which isn’t really true of most of these tbh). but I also think a lot about like when ladies meet, or old acquaintance, or sadie mckee, or the shining hour, or the model and the marriage broker, or a woman’s secret, or the bigamist, or craig’s wife, or born to be bad, or separate tables, or even dark victory to a degree. others too certainly those are just the ones that come to mind. for half of these it’s not even like oh these women are gay together it’s just like hey I think she’s a lesbian. and I’m right. but my genius will never be fully appreciated in my day unfortunately.
#a woman’s secret has kind of been haunting me since I watched it like a week or so ago in that it’s literally got so many interesting#pieces and facets and I find so much of it very interesting but they just like really don’t dig in or come together so it’s enough that#I think about it and not remotely satisfying which I’m beginning to think is just how I feel about nicholas ray’s stuff. I don’t really#have a large sample but like born to be bad is not a movie that I think is good but it has like infected me somehow. which i did and still#do largely attribute to joantaine. but like idk. and also I wanted to like Johnny guitar and obviously there’s a lot of interesting stuff#in there to dissect it just… feels unsatisfying/like it doesn’t come together. idk what it is.#also like it is fully sampling bias that across the three I listed as noted subtext and then all the others I listed#there’s uh. 4 joan crawford movies 4 bette davis movies 3 joan fontaine movies#but it’s still really funny to me lmao… I will say how did I not list ANY babs movies… that can’t be right… I mean like night nurse#and ladies they talk about def have some gay moments and like. walk on the wild side exists lmao#but I wouldn’t really consider any of those to be consistent with the thing I’m trying to describe here lol#anyways. I think that’s enough rambling for now.#old hollywood#my post#also I would happily expand on my vision for any of these lmao. it’s just that I think it generally requires a certain familiarity with the#movie itself and. a lot of these I wouldn’t necessarily recommend? not that they’re all bad just like. not incredible idk#which kind of hinders this a bit. and now like I could give background provide clips etc but then that’s requiring a level of effort#that I’m not gonna spontaneously exert while sitting in bed Thinking. which is what this post is lmao. (‘that’s enough rambling for now’#I said several tags ago… a fact which I could easily change but shan’t.)#(edit of prior tags to say that I wrote the tags before mentioning the women in this post bc idk for a moment I lived in a world in which#everyone knew the women was about dykes. so anyways it’s now 5 joan movies 4 joantaine movies#which is neat. the sampling bias is also fun bc like yes 5 joan movies is a lot to mention but I’ve seen like 30 joan movies so.#of course there are other movies of hers where I would be calling her gay but like im less invested. joantaine is a lot funnier to me bc#I’ve only actually seen 7 joantaine movies. and like ok including the bigamist is admittedly wild given that my queer interpretation of it#is like. her and ida lupino who do not so much as meet in the film. but the extent to which I wish they did fuels me)
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i don't really mean to ruin your day, but like (not proofread),
made sleepy by unforgiving winters and a population of people who were only young, once, the carnival reminds modern!ellie’s small wyoming town of what it’s like to be youthful, and alive.
tellingly so, people in her town consider this the happiest event of the year. but if it’s just between ellie and god, the significance of multicolored fair rides or the sun beaming hard enough to scorch the morning dew off of joel’s front lawn faces no match against the hatchling of your smile, once made dormant under the hazy coat of november through april, and defrosted by the month of july.
it’s the 4th. and amongst a spectacular of beams and fireworks slashing through a sky made thick with clouds, ellie swears that tonight she will kiss the girl of her daydreams.
she has also sworn this, for the past three summers.
for the past three summers, she has ridden the same rides with you in almost identical order – familiar of every trough, and yet screaming with you through every loop. you take the same edibles, and you get the same order of fried concoctions, from the same stand and share the same $7 lemonade, from the same cup and the same swirly straw.
it’s the same saccharine fling, bubble-wrapped in infatuation, and spared the harm of teeth sinking into its flesh in fear of eviscerating the bond that lies underneath.
but she swears, she will kiss you. this time, she will. she swears, she will.
with tongues coated with carbs and a mind made dizzy with sugar, you make the decision to ride the ferris wheel. she buries herself in the brash cackle of your laugh as she nearly rocks the cart off of its hinges. as you settle, belly and chest full of brightness, ellie watches you. your back is slumped against the metal, your head is thrown, and a hand is splayed over your stomach. the neons of the park flicker and change as you the two of you pass through them. ellie watches as they paint your body, electric; this way, she can see the symptoms of summer, highlighted, right on your cheekbones. beaming brightly, adding a shimmer to your smile, like a sparkle on a wink. ellie always has a tendency of falling in love with girls who are nothing like her. in the summer, ellie just burns. but not you. you have always glowed.
the fireworks break through the sky, booming through the city like miniature cannons. the only unpredictable thing of all this, is the show. pop, a red firework. pop, a green one. pop, pop, sizzle. this one, a cluster of both.
boom.
the familiar crust of a hill climbs up ellie’s throat and it’s an act of strength to swallow it all down. “wow,” she hears you remark, completely airless, a loopy grin stretching across your lips. “that’s so pretty.”
ellie nods, damning the fireworks and instead only looking at you. “yeah..” ellie swallows, again, hearing the croak that lines her own voice. “well, you’re pretty, too.”
there’s a silence that hangs, like your eyes, onto hers. and then it’s broken -- shattered not by combustion, but by a giggle turned spitting cackle, tumbling uncontrollably from your lips.
ellie’s furrows her eyebrows, “are you.. are you okay?” and starts laughing with you, only half-nervous, but like–
sizzle, sizzle,
“no.. no.. well– like yeah. like, no, yeah i’m just..” you lick your lips, close your eyes,
grin, and shake your head,
“i’m just really glad that you’re my friend.”
boom.
the firework burns and dies in the iris of ellie’s eye, and brings with it ellie’s reminder to blink. or to do anything, really.
ellie has a tendency of falling in love with girls who are completely different from her. who want different things, and go at different paces,
who are her best friends.
she smiles. tight.
“yeah..” ellie concludes. “yeah, me too.”
she holds your hand on top of her lap, and halfheartedly thumbs over your knuckles. she lets you slot your fingers into hers, the same as you always do. and she squeezes, like normal. lets you rest your head on her shoulder, and rests her forehead atop of yours, like usual.
pop. pop. pop.
this year, she chalks her excuse up to.. loitering in opportunity. wading in questions she knows the answer to.
sizzle. sizzle. sizzle.
maybe, she’ll try again next summer.
pop,
or maybe, it’s better that she doesn’t.
sizzle.
#this is so funny to me sorry#accidentally wrote biblically accurate r/niceguy ellie williams sorry#prose is alright though so i mean whatever#maybe they're both in love with each other#idk figure it out#mia what are you talking about#ellie williams x reader#tlou#the last of us#ellie williams#imagine getting friendzoned not in a r/niceguy “im so nice to you i deserve to be with you” way#but in a “ellie williams always falls in love with girls who want different things and go at different paces” way#[BOOM]#(the friendzone isnt a real thing guys)#(respect peoples wishes)#(or be open about your feelings)#(dont go to the same fair with them 3 years in a row like a down bad incel redditor)#the Turnaround is Insane though#this is the one time where my underwhelming endings actually serve a solid purpose#let's see how this goes. LMAO
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#god reading stuff i wrote in middle school is so funny i took myself so seriously while saying the most insane things#'culture is important to me because i've invented my own. i'm the first of my kind. my patron gods are super important to me.'#<- idk what my middle school teachers made of this but i was 100% serious#and i'm the guy who started calling my parents names in a made-up language and then stuck to it#and also prayed to said imaginary gods every single day for all of middle school and some of high school too. in a language i made up#this is still an unhinged thing to write in an essay about your identiy for a school assignment but i guess it's honest at least#unlike the whole 'i don't like pop music' girl you were listening to reik as you wrote that 😒🙄#perce rambles
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i think it fucks immensely that bk moon went out of his way to 1) establish rakiel wished to live a long life and eventually pass away of old age, 2) have him very briefly envy an immortal being only to be told very clearly to be careful what he wishes for by that very same person because living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be, 3) make the main antagonist be another immortal being who is so desperate to die he's willing to destroy the universe just to finally rest and 4) have said antagonist psychologically torture rakiel with the threat of making him live for a thousand years as everyone he loves and knows eventually grows old and dies and becomes nothing but forgotten memories.
only to then end the novel by making rakiel also immortal
like. god. it's so fucking good i love it. i'm not being sarcastic i genuinely think it fucks and it's one of the best ways bk moon could've wrapped up the plot.
it's a happy ending by all means but it has consequences and through the entire novel we've been shown and told over and over again just how heavy the consequences are and/or will be on rakiel.
he got his happy ending but it was at a price and by the last time we see him he's only just starting to pay for it.
it's great i love it
#i talk a lot <3#cpsm#cpsm spoilers#rakiel magentano#i also think it's funny that this puts bk moon in the very awkward position when it comes to his 'romance' with adeline#because either rakiel allows her to remain human and sees her grow old and eventually die just like acheros threatened him with#(and like he will do with absolutely everyone he loves anyway <3)#or he keeps her alive and frozen in time just like acheros wanted to do with him forcing her to be cut off from the world#in most ways that matter and see the people she loves grow old and die. again. just like acheros threatened to do with him :)#like. either way. the situations sucks for them <33#i do think it's cheap if he can make her immortal without it being a big deal. because. why wouldn't it be.#it would be absolutely broken if absolutes can just. make people immortal for funsies whenever they want. that would be bad writing.#but again i also think it's cheap that he made alicia an angel for no other reason than bc someone needed to remind us lloyd is married#to a woman actually. like. she doesn't even do anything why did you ruin the absolute tragedy that is being an immortal being surrounded#by very mortal humans just to make awful 'my wife is annoying' jokes. i hate you.#sigh. it's lose/lose when it comes to women with this man and his choices.#either they're fridged to make his male characters sad or they become the butt of misogynistic jokes. i cannot fucking win.#ANYWAY. do i think any of this was on purpose? maybe idk i certainly hope so and want to believe it is because otherwise it would be#too much of a coincidence but like. this is also the man who wrote a character very explicitly and clearly wishing to live a quiet life#with his family in his middle-of-nowhere estate where nothing ever happens with no contact at all with royalty and court#so he can laze about and do absolutely nothing. and then married him to a queen who cannot stand lazy people and squeezes the last bit#of talent of everyone around her. and he saw nothing wrong with this. so like. i genuinely cannot tell with this man sometimes 🙃🙃
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i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do
#whole fkin campaign. idk still not sure how it was but man was in his peacock era for sure#n it's like i need to find a wife i need to make it in 2 (or whatever) months etc etc#but its like a bg task n he didn't speak bout it w others. like he just said that he needs to marry#also idk if i mentioned this but i wrote lauretta/carlo first meet long ago n she was w her fiance#i just listened to “pretty music” again sorry. i like that uh governor or tf this character is#changes his behaviour from one woman to another so real. n that fkin “but im a lucky guy who gets to dance w u”#and “since u know what i need i'll even take your lead” <- fr like im sure lauretta screwed him for several times#just to see if he's really serious good old manipulations w men nothing new nothing superstitious#upd. he probably made a mind budget for this (i mean finding a wife)#n bout lauretta screwing carlo its like in this ukranian song Ти ж мене пiдманула ти ж мене пiдвела#but since he's a strategist he's patient (like i wanted to accent this quality sm i wrote#that carlo started thinkin bout taking moretti's place back in 1932)#anyway. “Challenge accepted” situation and idk fr for some reason when it's carlo eddie lauretta it's always bout playing#so lauretta started playing n he entered this play too. i don't even think he was exactly mad (maybe only for the 1st time)#at this point i have a clear image of how they met n their first dates (cringe word) n how he proposed#ie how it started how it ended. ending was fast i believe (deadline is approaching 🤯)#what was in between i don't exactly know but i wondered just now if he also screwed lauretta (i think yes)#bc i don't knooowwww frrr all this is so bout playing to me#but bout ending its like. boss fight (<- sex) game credits (<- marriage) ((speedrun))#also i was thinkin if he even ever met lauretta's parents (i always thought that no but idk)#can imagine lauretta calling carlo a good friend. i also hm ok#i started to write a comic like a month ago just bout falcone polycule n it starts w#carlo who says that he finally needs to get married n lauretta's mother askin (in a pushing way) why#her n her fiance still aren't married like girl tf. she jinxed it i guess#upd. carlo/lauretta is funny in my head bc right before marriage he did fell in love lauretta didn't but guy's profitable we'll take him👍#she did only after marriage i think bc it was the time when u can finally relief bc it's over#u don't need to think bout no yes no no yes yes will it work or won't etc#woman was able to fucking chill at last. she got the money sorry i mean the man#he's not runnin away let's finally look who the fuck is even this man. why he won't shut up bout astronomy can i get a divorce <- jk#but yeah “я тобi брехала” is so lauretta right after marriage to me (“i dont even know the color of ur hair”)
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It always makes me sad whenever stories with hopeful messages or lighthearted moments are sometimes dismissed as unintelligent or weaker than tragedies. Isn't joy and hope what makes a dark journey worthwhile? Not every story needs an unhappy ending to serve as a lesson.
I will forever be a fan of stories that say hey, maybe the world is a rough place, and it will always be this way, but you can make a difference with the people who matter to you. Even if no one else will know, even if no one else will remember, the ones you loved, and who loved you in return, will remember. People who are holding onto you, even at the end of everything else. People who remind you that new beginnings are born from the ashes.
My favorite stories will always end with love, hope, and the sun rising on the horizon after hell and high waters. The world can be so cruel, but we can choose not to be as individuals. Joy is as human as anger and sorrow. Joy is what we reach for when we are at our lowest, whether we realize it or not. We want what was lost back. I love stories where the characters reach the light at the end of the tunnel, emerge on the other side, and are allowed to heal. Even if they’ve done bad things, even if they aren’t perfect, isn’t that true of all of us?
#Parker says things#writing stuff#I’ve been going through some big changes this year and honestly every year up til this point#I’m tired. but I’m healing. I like writing about similar#I’m damaged. I’m flawed. I’m a little broken. but I can still be good#I can still seek light after everything that’s happened#this time last year I was writing out of desperation. putting something out there in case I didn’t make it#but I made it. I’m still here. even if I flubbed along the way#i spent a lot of time hating the person I was this time last year? now I just want to hug him#he’s gonna be okay. kinda funny the stuff I wrote to stay alive led me to someone who changed my life for the better#and I changed for the better too? special thanks to my clown frogs and my Kanonno squad#I don’t talk about stuff and idk if you guys are seeing this but just know you mean a lot to me#it’s late and I’m rambling but reading and writing about light in the darkness led me to my own light#so I’m going to keep at it#thank you especially to Nyx. don’t know where I’d be without you but I love you so much#tricksterlatte writes#this is sentimental but I don’t care#expanded version of a post from bird app
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