#idk where exactly is this idea going
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On my knees begging for someone to make a modern au about the adepti gang alive and well and happy.
#genshin impact#snippets#guizhong#zhongli genshin impact#idk where exactly is this idea going#but its about zhongli worried over teucer's daycare teacher (guess who lmao) being shady af#childe tries to placate him by telling that the tsaritsa trusts this particular daycare#and somewhere along the lines he asks the mt. aocang polycule for advice#cloud retainer having raised a workaholic civil servant and a homicidal hermit is NOT the person to ask for advice though#guizhong and ping are much better but idk how much#oh yeah ping and cr fight over something#god knows i write random shit for comedic value#doesn't have much value though tbh
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Doodles from a dw rp I was just in!!! Honestly the best one I've had so far lol
Out of character that vs in character chatđ
Omg crazyy...
đđđrandom
#GIVE ASTRO A BREAK CHALLENGE#he got pushed. kicked. airhorned. shot. called a kissboy. used as a hammer. had night terrors. got his biggest secret revealed (arms).#manipulated by a flower. and forced to dispose of a body#bro could NOT catch a breakđ#therapist finn was fun tho#stitch art#art#dandys world#doodles#astro dandys world#finn dandys world#sprout dandys world#dandy's world rp#dandy dandys world#dandys world dandy#tagging him is so odd..#dandy: âwhats wrong? dont wanna get yiur hands dirty?â#speout: âhe has hands???â#i was GIGGLING#i was astro btw. idk how things kept happebing to me....#shrimpo shot me in the leg with a GUN idk where he even got itđđ#the night terrors werent my idea either. we had a narrator which was actually REALLY FUN and awesome#bro is just doomed by the narrative i think#had to go shortly after the body disposal unfortunately but that rp was sm fun the other ppl there were so good#dandys speech when we were alone was SOO MUCH COOLER than what i put btw. i iust cant remember exactly what he saidđđđđ
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Saxaphone player Gallagher has not left my mind since the jazz night art dropped AND THEN Robin saying Halovianâs innately have good voices and Sunday used to hum lullabies to her as kids happened in the 2.2 special program, and Iâm sure you guys can see where my unfortunate Galladay heart is going with this.
Whoever decided to make this art, I love you. I hope your pillow is cool every night, youâre never stuck in traffic, and your water is refreshing with every sip.
Also the art of Sunday with the White Gentlemen drink in the S.P.A.R.K.L.E jazz night event has also spiraled into me delusionally thinking thatâs his go to drink. Which is hilarious since Robin has hinted before that he seems to have a massive sweet tooth in her letters.
(Sunday how do you even make holding a drink menacing, Sunday please get some therapy-)
So imagine this:
Pre 2.0 Galladay, where theyâre both wary and suspicious of each other but didnât do anything outright. Sunday slowly began to visit Gallagherâs bar whenever he had time to observe the Hound, initially on the down low just to get a sense of what he was working with and what to keep an eye on. He always gravitated to that one corner booth that every bar had with the most privacy, and just stalked there for a few hours before leaving. (Smol menacing birb in a tree vibes)
Gallagher obviously knew that Sunday was doing this (even though everyone else seemed to somehow completely miss him, Gallagher wouldnât be surprised if Sunday was doing some weird Harmony mind tricks), and after the first few âstakeouts,â he bit the bullet and actually approached the table to engage with Sunday, on the off chance this was some weird âtest of loyaltyâ by the Halovian to see if the Hound would swallow his pride to serve his so-called masters.
Nothing terrible happened, but he remained passive-aggressively polite when serving him, and Sunday remained passive-aggressively cool-headed in response. There was some snark of what dear âsweet-toothedâ Sunday would want at a bar, and an icy reply of âarenât you the master drink smith? Why donât you show me those skills you boasted about?â which led to Gallagher being petty and giving Sunday the White Gentlemen drink, both for the story behind it being such a metaphor for Sunday, and because it was on the more bitter side of alcoholic drinks.
Sunday wasnât too against the drink; it wasnât something he would have ordered if it had been his choice, but it wasnât a bad drink by any means. He couldnât help but continue to drink it even after Gallagher left his little hidey booth to go back to the main bar, but heâd never stoop so low as to complement the Hound. Of course, he never ordered anything else from then on, only White Gentleman. In fact, over time it seemed to slowly get better, the flavors grew on him, and he couldn't help but look forward to it during difficult nights in the Dreamscape.
If Gallagher tried to needle him into a different drink, Sunday just bit back a âoh? Admitting defeat? I thought this was your best drink for me?â with a little smirk while Gallagher had to use every bit of self-control to not punch him in the face.
As time went on, the bar slowly became a place Sunday frequented to not quite relax, but to get away from the hustle and bustle of Penacony and his duties as one of its main faces. The stresses slowly started piling up, especially with the Charmony fast approaching in a few months and all that came with it.
Gallagher didnât seem to loosen up regarding his attitude with Sunday, but he did get better at shoving down the visceral hatred he had for everything to do with The Family and Sunday as time went on. He didnât get soft with Sunday per se, but he definitely kept an eye out for him, and definitely knew when to cut off his drinks on days where it seemed that Sunday wasnât all that there for their usual veiled comments towards one another when he went to serve him his drink.
It started small, with Sunday staying later and later until sometimes he was the last one to leave the bar to return to reality. Gallagher wasnât quite sure what to make of it, still wasnât quite sure this wasnât some weird long-term test Sunday was devising, especially since he still seemed to be the same ruthless Family member, the same Head of the Oak Family, when Gallagher was working as a Bloodhound outside the bar. For some reason though, within the enclosed space of this strange sanctuary, it was almost peaceful between the two.
One night, there was something wrong when Sunday entered the bar during Gallagherâs shift. He saw a bit of a crowd near the small stage that was within eyesight of his little hidey booth, it seemed some of the musicians of the live band were arguing? He watched as Gallagher came over, seemed to try to speak with the group before honing in on one of the musicians who had been making the most noise and seemed to be about to get physical with the rest. Sunday watched as Gallagher picked up the musician by the scruff of their suit with one hand and carried them towards the doors and lightly tossed them out.
(It was the first time Sunday had actually seen Gallagher perform anything resembling the actual duty of a Bloodhound. It only hit him that heâd only ever seen the other when giving reports, orders, or at the bar. Why was this so shocking to him, heâd seen the manâs arms before, hard not to with his slovenly dress and messy clothing style, as if he couldnât bother to hide away his imperfections from the world, not like Sunday who refused to be seen by the world, to dare to show one thing off about himself despite his countless failings- heâs getting far too distracted by one meager showing of strength, focus Sunday)
There had always been a live music segment. Sunday was curious to see what would happen with the band missing a member, but was distracted by Gallagher placing his usual White Gentlemen in front of him before heading back to the musicians without a single word to him. Gallagher took a moment to speak with the rest of the band, who seemed to be coming out of their shock and took on worried looks. Sunday could only watch in muted shock as Gallagher went behind the bar and came back with a case, opening it to reveal a saxophone. He then went on stage with the rest of the group, positioned himself further to the side and in the back amongst the shadows within Sundayâs line of sight, and played with the band for the rest of the night.
Sunday couldnât look away.
He was frozen as he watched Gallagher seamlessly transition from song to song, taking only small breaks to continue serving the other patrons before heading back in. Sunday only remembered about his own drink when his gloves began to get wet from the ice melting into condensation on his glass.
Something felt off within Sunday, and for the first time since Robinâs debut, he couldn't help humming to the music of the band, music that wasnât of his own sisterâs making. He couldnât help but remember those little concerts the two would have, taking care of his little sister, his only world. He would do anything to keep the Harmony, to keep their family going. When was the last time they truly spent time together? Before he became the Head of the Oak Family? Before he couldn't recognize his own smile?
He was so lost in his thoughts, in memories he thought he buried, that he didnât realize that it was once again closing time, and he was once again the last one left. He only snapped out of it when Gallagher came by to grab his empty glass, only quirking a questioning brow at him before heading back to the bar.
Gallagher had been keeping a quiet eye on the Halovian that night from the back of the band, in the shadows he felt the most comfort in when in the Dreamscape of Penacony. He had watched Sundayâs eyes glaze over, and the only reason he hadnât felt offended by the seeming disinterest was the look in the other manâs eyes reminding him of his own when he looked in the mirror. The same look of shame, regret, loss, longing, of the wishes to regain everything he had lost. The same look he strove to hide under every bit of the facade he had crafted of this new self, but came back all too often with every reference of the Family found within his prison in the Dreamscape.
Maybe it was the shared nostalgia within his own heart, that little bit of his true self that he thought died when the Family tore out everything that made him who he was, that made him return behind the bar and begin making Sunday another White Gentlemen, giving Sunday a small nod to beckon him over. He wasnât expecting anything from it, and he masked his own surprise when Sunday actually left his little shelter to come and take a seat in front of him at the bar. Even while out of it, Gallagher made note of the quiet confidence the other still carried himself. Nothing seemed wrong to anyone else looking at him, only for the lost look in his eyes.
The first time in the many months that theyâve been skirting around each other, and finally they seemed to be face to face.
It was quiet as Gallagher made Sunday his usual drink, a drink he had been slowly changing over the months to be sweeter and sweeter that Sunday never quite seemed to notice, or if he did, he never said anything, only seeming to savor it more each subsequent night. Maybe not even Gallagher noticed his own changes to the drink, subtle as they were.
It was quiet as Sunday took the finished drink, and it was quiet as his eyes slid over the bartop to see the saxophone case laying open with the instrument inside. It was quiet as Gallagher followed his eyes, as he came out from behind the bartop to take the saxophone out and take a seat in a chair only one seat down from Sundayâs. It was quiet as Gallagher began to play to his audience of one.
It was quiet as Sunday quietly hummed along.
It was quiet as they both knew that it would not last.
OK yea so this was all because I heard âLa vie en roseâ at the end of the Jazz night event and went âDamn I wish thatâs Gallagher playing on his Saxâ and then we spiraled.
Uh. Idk what it is with me having a small ship moment which then spirals into a full blown writing session. My mind blanked out and as I came to I find out that I made a whole ass little one shot over here then completely forgot about it WHOOPS
So yea, hope my fellow Galladay enjoyers⊠enjoyed! I think Iâve slowly begun to crave⊠not domestic or fluff per se from these two, but after every AO3 fic being super dark between them (which I get! They are the toxic yaoi kings of Penacony as of writing this, no one is denying that!) I think I want to see them be explored in a more melancholic sense. Not quite the âforbiddenâ love angle, but in the âdamn we kinda have some parallels, and maybe in another life we could have gotten along but thereâs too much baggage and anger, both historically and currently to really even try anythingâ
I have this feeling this may not be the last time I write about these two⊠is Galladay going to be the ship that gets me to actually use my AO3 account?
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr gallagher#hsr sunday#galladay#idk what Iâm doing anymore#theyâve kinda taken over my mind#shoutout to that one ao3 fic where both of them go ââthis wasnât supposed to happenâ as theyâre making out#thatâs the exact vibes Iâm feeling when I think about these two pre-relationship#of course we donât run away from angst in this ship#everything follows exactly up until the 2.1 end credits scene#letâs see what happens in 2.2#I NEED ANSWERS#ALSO MISHA#I WANNA THROW GALLAGHER AND MISHAâS KINDA WHOLESOME RELATIONSHIP IN HERE TWO#idk wtf is going on there#but until 2.2 explains#Gallagher is mishaâs weird drunk uncle/dad figure#it adds more comedy to Galladay whether Sunday knows of/can see Misha or not either way#oof new writing idea#next time#I need to work on tagging#this is just another post all on its own#marrapost
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let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but theyâd leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that theyâd swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what theyâd do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!
#ann plays awakening#awakening trio#sometimes i forget owain is literal royalty and like#in the bad timeline hes probably like. the second most important person there?? unless luci has a sibling#obviously sheâd need her own retainers but unfortunately i am thimking awakening trio thoughts. i miss. i love them in any form#that they are handed to me#i love them as best friends. as forced circumstance allies to family. as lovers.#i know i said lovers in this post but im not sure theyâd ever label it as that#to me its very much âits not exactly romantic but its too intense to be platonicâ#what i am getting at is queer platonic awakening trio btw. in case that wasnt obvious#like no matter who they are or where they go they are eachothers people dude. like literally do not separate#anyways im gonna be thinking long and hard about who should be everyones parents in this timeline#i have what i call my âmainâ pairings and thats what i use for most of my headcanons (ex prince inigo)#but iâd like a completely separate one for owain retainer trio#i think im pretty set on fred!severa#i couuuldddd pick fred!inigo which i do think is SUPER compelling as well but something about freddy!severa⊠also shes so cute as a brunette#like sorry⊠shes just so beautiful#ive been having a lot of thoughts aboht tharj!inigo and i need to figure out if thats current bias talking or if im cooking with that one#i got no idea who owainâs second parent should be. robin maybe? idk#i mean his second parent isnt quite as impactful in regards to trio dynamics in this case just because heâs always the prince but. idk#i really like the idea of half plegian owain but i ALWAYS run half plegian owain cuz im always pairing lissa with robin or henry so its like#this isnt new đđđ but god. PLEGIAN OWAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hm. though. hear me out. manakete owain???????????????? ehhh????#sorry. idk. i love how changing the parents of the second gen can change their characterization. its like my favorite thing ever#i think its why im so attached to all of them. theres always new things to explore with them!!! its so much fun!!!!!!#graaarfggjjjhhhhhhn!!!!
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"From The Shadow" is the second novel from a notorious author Tan Philipson-Choi. Her first book "Beyond The Drift" did not achieve a huge commercial success, however it soon became popular within communities. This book, whilst not being widely accepted by the critics, already has a potential of becoming a motion picture.
@hypersoft-fest week 3: pramanormal romance/detective stories.
[close-ups and a snippet under the cut]
Bono and I were going through the data from one of the previous races, when Shov walked into the office.  âHowâs it going?â I asked. âUm⊠strange, to be honest,â he replied after a pause, âI have got terrible sunburns out of nowhere.â âWell, you are quite pale,â Bono chuckled before I could say anything. He was listening, but his eyes were still glued to the screen. âYes, but,â Shov took of his branded jacket and straightened his short-sleeved shirt, âthis doesnât looks very normal, does it?â he said showing a bunch of blotchy red spots all over his forearm. Some of them are started to heal and turned brownish, it looked very much like actual burns from the fire, not the sun. âYou should see a doctor about this,â I said looking up from Shovâs arm up to his face. Huh. Something else was different. âWhere are your glasses?â I asked. Shov and Bono always looked very strange without their glasses. And his eyes looked different too, unusually bright and blue, as if they were glowing from within. Or maybe I just didnât notice that before. âI donât know, actually,â Shov patted his pockets as if he could find the glasses there.  âI guess I forgot to put them on in the morning,â he looked around confused. âDid your eyesight get magically fixed overnight?â Bono smirked, looking up from the computer at Shov and me. âThatâs interesting. Maybe you have a brain tumor,â he added. âI think I saw something like that on TVâ. âThatâs very helpful,â Shov looked at Bono quite sternly, ânow I also have to worry about a tumorâ. âYou probably donât have a tumor,â I tried to reassure him, but it didnât sound like that at all. Shov and I looked at each other for a moment; somehow I couldnât stop staring at his face. âWe should get to work, actually,â he sighed, looking away first.
#the main mystery is where exactly i was going with this one but i guess we'll never know#hypersoftfest.creations#f1edit#hypersoft.fest#shovson#my graphics#NOT GONNA LIE TEAM I STRUGGLED LIKE A BEYOTCH WITH THIS ONE BOTH LIKE WITH THE EDIT AND WITH THOSE 300 WORDS LIIKEEEE IDK IS THIS ANYTHING#i've spent the whole week kinda brainstormingand well... i hope you hungry for nothing! bone apple teeth!#and this is not the idea i had initially!!! at all!! but fuck it we ball!!#my fics#tan.stuff
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sometimes i read a spn fic that is just. so close to getting it, but just doesn't quite make it there. i think t's especially common in post-s4/s5 fics where, for example, there is a discussion of the voicemail and acknowledgment of sam's emotions around it, but then it's easily swept away as something dean would never say when it was only believable in the first place because dean had basically said all of it before. they'll get so close to actual recognizing the concerning patterns in dean's behavior, then back away right at the last second. it's super interesting to see really and i find it very telling
#and to be clear. if it is a later seasons fic and they are characterized correctly this is exactly what would happen#at that point sam is no longer in the frame of mind where he can recognize the reframing of events for what it is#this is more about when it's very clear that the author genuinely believes in these ideas instead of just attempting to make it realistic#like there are some fics where you can just tell that the author knows what's really going on#and there are others where you can just tell that they very firmly believe that dean is not abusive. bonus points if sam explicitly#tells dean that he's not <3#anyways. idk i'd be very interested to see if this is something that other people have encountered as well#star notes
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help me i've gotten so deep into the steddie rabbit hole i haven't gotten this stuck on something since destiel
this really isn't good for my health
THESE ARE THE FICS THAT I SUBSCRIBED TO / LIKED READING (I'VE BASICALLY READ 1/5 WORTH OF STEDDIE FICS COMPARED TO DESTIEL FICS - I GOT INTO DESTIEL 4 YRS AGO, I ONLY STARTED READING STEDDIE FICS SOME TIME LAST MONTH WTF)
tbf, i have taken breaks from destiel to read other fandoms/fics so, ig the timing works out? if you think about it?
#steddie#destiel#fics#ao3#also if anyone comes across this post i can rec you some of my absolute favs#these stats for my fics don't even include the ones i finished but didn't enjoy all that much#or the ones i abandoned halfway through even though it was like 100k words#i really dont care if i've spent hours reading it#i literally just leave if i get slightly annoyed by the writing#i'm not kidding#it's a problem#but also not really?#i'm just complaining for the sake of it#also i never got into stranger things fics for some reason even though i watched all of the show#idk why#i think it's bc i watched the show w/ my dad? so i felt weird to read fics about it?#like i considered it a family show for some reason#and for some reason reading fics for that was off limits??#idk#i also i'm getting scared that i won't ever be interested in my other fandoms again bc of how much i am invested in steddie stuff#this was exactly like destiel though#i just gotta get it out of my system#i have no idea why i'm so scared of losing interest in my other fandoms#also if anyone is wondering where these stats are coming from i made a spreadsheet of all the works i like#it's basically a replica of my subscriptions list because when i started ao3 i acted like the subscribe button functioned like bookmarks an#now i cant go back#so instead of transferring everything i just took the time to make a spreadsheet and basically code the functions myself#which arguably took more time to do than if i transferred everything#i would share the list but i'm sort of embarrassed of the stuff that's on there#if anyone is curious i have 676 fics stored on it
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the turtle crew in concert/rave fits đđ¶
is it obvious i started with april and leo, then had to SQUISH everyone else onto the page đ
poor raph has to crouch to fit lmao
iâm really proud of this though?!?!! iâve only ever drawn duos at most, so five people is a huge jump for me!
peep the regression đ«Ł cus my brain was braining
#donât ask where this idea came from idk#i went ballistic with the colours omg#absolutely zero restraint lmao#and i wasnât going to risk ruining this by adding a background so watch them float#đ§#iâm not going to lie#this isnât exActly what i wanted it to look like but whatever#iâm still proud#rise of the tmnt#rise donnie#rise leo#wtf i forgot how to tag#rottmnt#rottmnt art#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#rottmnt april#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#traditional art
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been writing again. i miss writing for fun aha. pain why is this guy so repressed and fucked up.
this one's about lightning n plants n blah blah symbolism stuff and i stopped writing it over two years ago but now i'm back ig. mako is having a terrible time post-canon and it's great! (for me) i dumped out some stuff that i find unusable and am hoping the rest holds up to a reasonable extent
#lychee's word trash#rose beds and gasoline veins#it's genuinely been SUCH a long minute lolololol#yes i've got myself a crippling attachment to mako from lok idk what to tell you#i just threw out 1k from 6k but i'm writing rn and avoiding studying so it kinda skyrocketed to 7.3k!#if i think about him too hard my heart hurts for this fictional guy so like#y'know you gotta cope by watching that âjust too hotâ video on crack#i don't really know exactly Where this is going bc i forgot my initial plans#i should really start outlining otherwise i forget all my ideas instantaneously lol#guys i really wish that i wrote an outline for the time travel au bc i knew i had good ideas#i just can't remember what those good ideas were </3
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today my boss told me off for: using the chlorhexidine scrub to clean the surgical instruments and scrubbing the whole instrument instead of just the end that got bloody. my bad tbh i will never try to do a good job again
#he left and my coworker immediately said âi have NEVER not used that to scrub thoseâ lmao and she was the one who told me to do it like that#he's seen me scrub instruments in exactly the same way many times before but he was pissy today so i guess it became a problem#he did the same thing when i used that scrub to clean the sink table he was like âthat stuff is about 3x more expensive than bathroom soapâ#whole time you can get a gallon of chlorhex scrub on amazon for like#$13 idk where he is getting these ideas of prices from but it is not expensive#and we don't go through it fast we've literally barely gone through one gallon in the last five months lol. he just has to tell me i'm wrong#i did have a little daydream about stabbing him with a scalpel shaped letter opener today. who said that#me
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i wonder if there's the potential for a solution to the doxxing fucking over marginalized people specifically thing and/or the some people only being able/knowing where to engage with community online thing if we we were able to like. weaponize the relative lack of actual anonymity in the opposite direction.
like for one thing, instead of doxxing just resulting in problems from others in person, using that information to actively support the person instead, and for another for the other potentially more targeted use of the internet to find people to engage with in person (although that one you'd have to be even more careful about in case it worked in the opposite direction. I'm just thinking it would be nice to have something more structured/widespread than happening to find out your internet friends are in your local area, that could potentially be used to circumvent people not meeting in third spaces/other issues people have initially finding local community in person.)
It would be nice if instead of exclusively finding offline solutions/telling people how to be more careful we could also use what's often part of the problem to our advantage when it does happen. Like, having a way to address it that isn't only preventative.
#no idea whether it's actually practical im essentially just thinking outloud#if we could have another pokemon go thing where people have the opportunity to#encounter each other on a friendly basis in person because of their phones that would also be nice#idk how you'd do some of this in a way that's actually 'safe' though#mypost#the doxxing response thing would have to be either like. a general cultural shift which is probably very unlikely#or a targeted attempt to support people affected that extends to their local area#and the other would kind of just require people to be fine with telling people online roughly where they are it seems like#unless there's some additional vetting process or something you could use first#which would obviously have a bunch of risks + more for some people than others#but like. part of my personal situation re online safety#is that a. i've already been on here and posting shit since i was a younger teen#and it would be practically impossible to make my normal social media doxx-proof to begin with#and b. none of my political opinions or me being trans or anything are exactly a secret in person#so anything someone could try to harass me with in person would either be trying to just like. embarass me in general i guess (useless)#telling people something they already know (also useless)#lying (could cause mostly temporary problems with the wrong person at most)#swatting (okay yeah this one could cause problems if they're stupid enough#to fall for it but also i don't really think there's anything to be done about it)#or other threats to my physical safety (people can do that anyway considering how outwardly visible i am about my#opinions/being trans/etc + that would require them to be in my phsyical proximity as well)#so basically my threat model for internet security is way more lax on General Social Media than a lot of people would think it should be#and i've used the same url for events i've attended in person#but considering that people could definitely find me if they really wanted one way or the other + there's nothing really. secret? on here.#like. there's stuff i wouldn't randomly bring up in conversation but none of this is something i'm actively hiding really#and then if there's something i do want to use the internet for but want to keep Secret secret from my irl identity#that's just a whole different account that i'm creating#tldr you can't realistically intimidate me by threatening to reveal information that's already public knowledge#i guess maybe once i move i'll have to reconsider whether i want to try a new threat model since some of the infomation people would be abl#to get easily would be outdated but i also almost prefer it to stay mostly a moot point so people can't effectively use it as leverage
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hm. i am once again annoyed by the 'tell instead of show' trend within modern comics
#this post applies to many things but is specifically prompted by the tim & connor story in the pride anthology#the idea of 'tim & connor had talked about identity stuff in the past' is not a retcon im at all opposed to but GOD i would have preferred#*flashbacks* to those conversations? to show us how they actually approached it? how it worked within their friendship? WHEN they happened?#especially when it's just. this is the first time they're interacting in OVER A DECADE so figuring out exactly where they stand#with one another is like. complex enough. but just... idk man things being just these mentions in the past tense feels so#surface level and it's annoying because THE IDEA of them talking about this stuff before being fully ready to acknowledge it IS COOL.#but for it to be. 'oh yeah btw that happened' and giving us the tldr is just... disappointing#grandpa max is god? i go to church now
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.
#i have no idea how to respond to the whole qsmp situation right now#i mean. i dont watch it or interact with qsmp ITSELF#only the fans around it#I have made fanart for it but not really because i have any particular attachment to specific characters but just because#its a very good springboard for character design and inspiration#Im very involved with the fanbase though as the QSMPnews discord is one of my main discords#and I mainly use the fandom space as a way of practicing/getting into foreign languages#although i dont watch qsmp it still has impacted my life massively in the last year#this clusterfuck of project management is difficult to unravel and know what to do with#and its difficult to know exactly where to turn your attention#or who to blame#since theres so many levels of miscommunication that hasnt been helped by the sharing of it online#i think. even if QSMP doesn't survive#it would be ludicrous to state it as an inherently harmful server#since there has been an evident change in the minecraft gaming space because of it in multiculturalism.#heck IM direct proof of that as someone who does not reguarly engage with the server itself via streams#the fact that as a result of a 21 year old kid deciding to start a sever I can end up with a group of spanish speakers trying to explain#various concepts to me in my language while i respond in theirs is. insane#so do i think that the qsmp will survive?#um. look i dont see how it can.#I've never thought that it could#but i dont think that im going to demonise fans or avoid content relating to it#considering how integral the fanspaces around it are to me and my personal quest for language proficiency#however I will attempt to keep qsmp posts on my french/spanish blogs#well that was. long-winded#idk this is a very self-centred look into the qsmp and this whole situation#obviously I hope that the staff get paid but. I really have no idea where Quackity Studios might get that money from or how the#server should either end or continue
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for the first time ever I set a long term goal for myself to work towards (save enough money for a six month solo backpacking trip) and life really does feel a bit better thanks to it. knowing that there's something I'm looking forward to. that I'm giving this desk job two years. that it has a purpose. so far my life has been very "let's just see what happens idk I don't have plans" but this? this feels good. and for someone who was so depressed I barely got out of the house two years ago it feels like a huge step tbh
#personal#sofi.txt#''running away to another country won't mysteriously fix your mental health you know'' well WATCH ME#the only future i ever knew was decided for me by outside forces but then i said no I'm doing my own thing#and idk what's going to happen or what I'm gonna do or what job I'll have or how long#moving to dublin was one step and then i had time off so i went on a trip twice#all the while watching a few insane journeys of some solo travellers#and for years i was like damn i want to do something like that#but my dreams were also very vague like i couldn't believe it could ever happen#but then i had this idea for a trip that wasn't really done yet (!!!)#like haha what if i did that. jk. unless#i saw how long it would take how much money I'd need how long it'll take me to save that#if it's doable and where exactly i want to go. and it is. so i decided that's what I'm going to do#2026 here we go#I'm not saying where I'm going BUT it will cover 3 continents#(if anyone's worried i have travelled solo a lot these past two years just never that long)
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oh, but imagining the potential for warmth and also perhaps some humor in the scenario that misao decides she wants to try to cook something for someone she loves while they're over is currently making my heart happy. like i'm not going to lie â misao has honestly not cooked a day in her life since she just simply never had the need to, being a jorĆgumo and all, but she would want to at least try to show she cares for them by attempting to cook their favorite dish or something whenever they're over at her home. and this would still apply to her even if she ended up completely failing at it at first because one of misao's love languages is acts of service. thus, of course she would want to provide them with something as integral as food. but GAHHH, picturing it from misao's loved ones perspective is also equally as sweet to me, because them guiding her on what to do while reassuring her that it's okay? and them eventually just deciding to cook together because misao may or may not get overwhelmed by the fact that she has such little knowledge about what to do because she wants everything to be perfect is... idk. it can be either incredibly romantic, or make for a very wholesome platonic moment between her and another character, which i LOVE
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#i just had to post this once i thought of it because i feel as if all i've been posting on here is angst SO have this little wholesome-#character study / random drabble from me about how misao would try to do something that she has no idea how to do just to try to make-#any one of her loved ones happy. which honestly just mentioning that is making me go đ„ș because misao would absolutely be putting their-#needs above hers in this scenario and that is kind of what love is all about right? plusss her tendency to strive for perfection in-#pretty much everything she does being revealed like this to another muse / character is sort of intriguing to me to think about. cooking-#seem like a rather minute thing to some after all but wanting to cook for someone to me shows a lot of love on their part and it is-#intimate to sit down with someone and eat with them which as you all may know is exactly the kind of thing that misao is afraid of doing-#someone but the fact that she'd essentially getting out of her comfort zone here for them demonstrates that she is capable of growth-#and maybeee is getting less afraid of opening up to heart to people? idk but i think it just shows development on misao's part for her-#to willingly put herself in a spot like this where she is vulnerable around them bc she isn't good at cooking BUT she still wants to do it-#for them even if that requires help. so yeah. it's just kind of wholesome to think about the implications behind this happening and also-#just the event itself. like AHHHđ© the rare moments where misao just lets herself open up to people is most where she seems like she might-#not be entirely evil and more than just this man-eating yĆkai y'know? and i honestly kind of love that for her
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i wish i were dead so bad
#i honestly donât think i can do this anymore i want this to be over so much#thereâs no way iâm going to finish uni i should drop out and kill myself as soon as i can#but then what if i donât succeed with the suicide#and iâm behind on school and i have nothing going for me#and i already donât bc iâm an idiot who canât even write a 30 page thesis without breaking down almost every day#but i donât even have a good way to kms like iâve tried cutting my wrists but i canât do it deep enough and my only other idea is hanging#but again idk where to do it exactly#i tried to see how itâd feel once but i donât think itâs work anywhere in my house#đ#i wish i could just die in my sleep so so bad i canât do this anymore
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