#which arguably took more time to do than if i transferred everything

[dsntwrk]

help me i've gotten so deep into the steddie rabbit hole i haven't gotten this stuck on something since destiel

this really isn't good for my health

THESE ARE THE FICS THAT I SUBSCRIBED TO / LIKED READING (I'VE BASICALLY READ 1/5 WORTH OF STEDDIE FICS COMPARED TO DESTIEL FICS - I GOT INTO DESTIEL 4 YRS AGO, I ONLY STARTED READING STEDDIE FICS SOME TIME LAST MONTH WTF)

tbf, i have taken breaks from destiel to read other fandoms/fics so, ig the timing works out? if you think about it?

[leveloneandup]

Christen Press is a changed person as she nears return from injury: ‘I enjoy my life more’

Christen Press hasn’t gone two years without a soccer game since she learned to walk. So when she was laid up by a torn anterior cruciate ligament that took four surgeries and nearly 25 months to repair, she decided to make use of the free time she never thought she’d have.

As a result, the player who returned to training with Angel City this month is not the same one who was carried off the field eight games into the team’s first season.

“I definitely feel like this is the best version of me that I’ve ever known. And I hope it continues to evolve,” Press said Saturday in an interview that was heavy on smiles and optimism.

“I don’t know if I would say I’m a better person. I am a more grounded person. I’m more peaceful. I’m more at ease with myself. I’m more self-aware. I enjoy my life more, absolutely.”

It would be hard for her to be a better player than she was two years ago. A two-time World Cup champion and Hermann Trophy winner whose 64 international goals rank ninth in U.S. women’s national team history, Press was arguably in the best form of her life when she sustained the first major injury of her career.

At first she expected to be back in time for last summer’s World Cup. Then she thought maybe she could play in this summer’s Olympic Games. But the injury proved to be stubborn, and doctors had to go back in three more times for additional repairs.

She’s now 35, and it’s uncertain how her reconstructed knee — and the rest of her body — will hold up when she returns to the field. That question probably will be answered during one of Angel City’s three Summer Cup games, which will be played during NWSL’s seven-week Olympic break.

Given what she has gone through already, Press is confident she can handle whatever comes next.

“Every single day when I go out to the field I asked my knee, ‘Are you ready?’ It’s out of my control in a lot of ways,” she said. “It’s not, ‘Oh, you’re back and everything’s easy.’ My career will never look like it did.

“I want to make it back. I want to see if I can be good.”

Angel City could certainly use the help. The team went into the Olympic break having won only one of its last nine games, falling to 11th place in the 14-team NWSL with 10 games to play.

Press is likely to be ready for significant playing time when the season resumes in late August, but she might not be the only addition to the roster. With the transfer window opening soon, Angel City is nearing deals on two significant summer signings, said one person close to the team who is not authorized to speak publicly on personnel matters.

Despite the injury, Press was never really inactive. Physical therapy after each operation ate up much of her time, and she said she still does four to six hours of daily exercises just to keep the swelling down.

“Honestly, it’s a full-time job for her,” said Sarah Smith, Angel City’s director of medical and performance.

Still, she used the opportunity to work on other things as well. Press said she started therapy — the mental kind, not the physical kind — last September.

“I was like, ‘Well I have all this additional time that I can’t be on the pitch. What can I do with it?’ ” she said. “And I had a lot to work through, like my childhood, but also a changing life.

“Being healthy and strong has been my whole career, right? But it hurt to go up and down the stairs. It was a very big shift in identity.”

She has also devoted more time to the eclectic business empire she and her partner and former teammate Tobin Heath are managing, one that includes RE—INC, a gender-neutral community-driven fashion brand, and the RE—CAP Show, the couple’s entertaining award-winning podcast on women’s soccer.

That has given the whip-smart Stanford graduate a jump-start on the next phase of her life, though she’s not sure when that phase will begin in earnest. Her Angel City contract expires at the end of the season, but Press said that if her knee holds up, she’s not putting any limits on how much longer she might play.

“There’s part of soccer that has been really hard that I don’t miss. And then there’s simultaneously a deep longing and a sadness for not being in the game,” she said. “My body’s craving competition. It’s like a dichotomy.”

If the last two years have produced nothing on the soccer field and have been mostly painful off it, mentally and physically, they’ve been invaluable in many other ways. She’s grown. She’s become stronger, smarter, healthier and wiser. And she promises that’s going to be good for everyone — but especially for her.

“There’s pain and there’s also an opportunity,” Press said. “I have this ideology that things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. So I always ask myself, ‘What’s the gift of this?’

“It’s a happy story. It’s life, you know. It’s happy and it’s sad. [Am I] a better person?’ No, I’m different.”

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ "the next time i see you, it'll be in hell" / "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me"

♡ pairing: connor kent (superboy/RotS) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / i was listening to 'esa hembra es mala' by gloria trevi so if you do speak spanish, that's a song rec while you read this fic. if you don't, listen to 'hermit the frog' by marina instead!

"connor please, you're giving ME a headache and it's only seven in the morning," his friend, jake, spoke as his hands covered his face, "wait, shut up, who is that?" connor asked, seeing you with a few friends.

jake sighed, "that's ( your name )," he spoke softly, "she's friends with everyone here. some like her, some can't stand her. it all depends on how she feels with you." you were schools resident 'popular' girl and had a bit of a following among your class.

"i'm gonna go talk to her," connor said. his friends eyes widened, "connor no!" jake screamed, grabbing his friend and pulling him back, "she's a complete bitch, don't do it!" jake exclaimed as he could tell that everything he was saying was going over connor's head.

you fixed the newspaper that had superboy's face plastered on the cover, "i just think that superboy could beat robin if i'm being honest. PLUS he's attractive because you can actually see his face," the day old conversation between you and your friends about who was the better sidekick struck up again and anyone who knew you knew how much you adored superboy.

"hey ladies," you turned to look at the boy, confused on who he was as you had never seen him around school. you gave him a small smile, "uh, hi?" you asked, "do i know you?"

the boy who approached you was wearing sunglasses which threw you off considering your school didn't allow anyone to wear them inside the building. you looked to his other friend, recognizing him as someone you had in your Calc class.

"just wanted to introduce myself, i'm connor," he said, giving you a sly smirk. you shook his hand, half awkwardly, "please i'm ( your name )," you replied as you saw the way connor gave jake a wink, "is there something you wanted or?" you asked again, not knowing why he was still here.

"no, just wanted to say hi to my future girlfriend," you let out a laugh, catching everyone off guard, "please, as if," you replied as you grabbed your friends and walked away, kind of taken back by the new boy.

"he was kinda cute," one of your friends said as you rolled your eyes, "uh, not really? kinda weird if you ask me," you replied, looking down at the newspaper, "well, i'm going to class, see ya," you said, walked towards your AP Lit class.

you sat down in the front, immediately talking to the friends you had in the class. it wasn't even five minutes later when connor entered the class, immediately smirking when he saw you. you growled, instantly annoyed at his expression.

"ah, so you've met the resident new boy?" you nodded as your friend giggled, "he's really nice. made more than a friends already," she said as you shrugged, "okay and? he had a lot of nerve coming up to me and telling me i'd be his future girlfriend," you replied.

she let out a belting laugh, "yeah, he told meghan from fifth period the same thing," you saw connor walking up to your desk and before he could make himself comfortable next to you, you instantly put your leg on the chair, "don't even think about it," you said, not even looking at him, "the desk in the back is available though," you smirked as you watched your teacher roll her eyes at your attitude.

connor bent down to your level, "don't gotta be so hostile, sweetheart, i know you like me," he whispered before getting up and leaving.

your friend, looked at you, laughing at disbelief at both of your attitudes. you rolled your eyes, trying to pay attention to the discussion as you could feel connor's eyes on you almost the entire time.

+

throughout the weeks and going into months, your relationship with connor didn't change. he arguably became the biggest pain your ass from the beginning of the day until the final bell rang. he managed to befriend a few of your friends which meant that you were around him at times.

you sipped your coffee as you were reading the newest article on superboy, "ah, ah, ah, what do we have here?" connor asked, taking the magazine from your hand, "superboy fan, huh?" he scanned the cover, a smug smirk coming onto his face as you snatched the magazine back.

"yeah, someone who's actually useful in life," you replied as he walked with you to your locker. he had never saw the inside of it and taken back by the amount of photos you had....of him, "aww, don't be that way, sweetheart! maybe one day superboy will actually give you a chance," he joked.

your annoyance instantly shot up as you slammed your locker and walking away, "see ya later sweetie!" he screamed. you stopped in the middle of the hall and flicked him off, "the next time i'll see you, it'll be in hell!" you yelled, storming off to class.

you walked into class, sitting down as your friend, henry, walked up to you, "hey babe," he said, a warm feeling crossing your face at the term of endearment, "hey henry, what're you up to?" you asked, seeing him looking at you, a bit nervously now.

"i was wondering if you were free-," before henry could say anything else, connor walked up behind him and tapping him on the shoulder. he had heard the conversation between the two of you and knew exactly where it was heading, "uh, she's not interested, better luck next time," connor stated, surprising henry with his sudden angry attitude.

henry knowing he didn't want to risk the chance of getting his ass kicked walked away from the conversation as you stared at connor with rage in your eyes, "what do you want?" you seethed as you saw connor's smirk playing on his face, "you weren't actually entertaining him, were you?" he asked in disbelief, "i literally hate you with every ounce of my being," you blurted, finally sick of connor's attitude.

his mouth hung open as you got up from the desk, "do me a favor and PLEASE leave me alone, that's all i ask," you stated as you walked out of class and deciding to ditch for the rest of the day.

"told you she was gonna blow up," jake informed as he sat down in his seat, connor still standing in place, taking in everything you had said. he knew he was being a bit of an ass but he didn't know you were that angry with him.

connor knew he had to make this up. he genuinely did like you and he didn't want to ruin his chances with you because of his shitty attitude. throughout the class period, he picked his brain for ideas until sirens went off in his head.

SUPERBOY.

he knew you were practically in love with his alter ego and he knew he could use superboy as a way to persuade you into giving him another chance. that is if he played his cards right.

+

you reluctantly showed up the next day, trying to avoid connor as best as you could. you were talking with a few friends, gossiping about the fight that superboy and robin had against a few low level villains in metropolis last night.

"hey, look at connor," jake whispered, seeing his friend practically beat up. you were taken back by his appearance as he had a few bruises on his arms and legs, "are you okay?" jake asked connor.

connor shook his head slowly, his body still recovering from the night before, "what were yall talking about?" he asked, trying to redirect the conversation. everyone looked to you, "someone was gushing about superboy, so please, if you'd continue," meghan said playfully.

"oh shut up, like you don't have robin posters all over your room," you retorted as you watched connor struggling to stay upright, "all i'm saying is that superboy remains the best sidekick there is. did you see the way he walked out of that fight scratchless and look at robin, he nearly died," you continued.

meghan instantly retorted as you noticed how eerily silent connor had became. you turned over to him, about to say something sarcastic towards him until he flopped on top of you, passing out completely. you looked down at him, "connor?" you whispered, "hey connor, wake up," you whispered, shaking him a bit.

"take him to the nurse!" jake yelled at you as you grabbed connor by the arm and pulling him against you, "fuck off, he's heavy as hell," you breathed, trying to steady his weight against you before walking slowly towards the nurse.

you made the walk to the nurse but by the time you made it, connor had woken up, "don't take me to the nurse, please," he whispered, "what are you talking about?" you exclaimed, "you clearly aren't okay and you don't look okay either," you added on.

he steered the two of you to the family bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit, "clean me up here, i really don't want to be questioned right now," he said, nothing cocky or playful in his voice. you sat him on the toilet, bending down to clean his face first, "hey, is everything okay....you know at home?" you asked.

he laughed, shaking his head, "these injuries aren't from my guardians if that's what you're wondering. i kinda got into a fight last night," you stared at him confused, "did you lose or something? these injuries look horrible," you replied.

"course i did, just took a nasty beating before i won," he said as he flinched at the rubbing alcohol hitting his arm. you muttered a sorry as you put a band-aid on a few of his cuts, "listen, i wanted to say sorry for acting like a prick," connor muttered a few minutes later.

you were taken back by his apology, "i knew i was being an ass but please don't take this as me joking but you're actually the best thing that's happened to me since i transferred," you remained silent, not knowing to respond as you put the last band-aid on his knee.

"and if i could have a second chance, that would be super dope, ya know?" he tried to say without sounding nervous, "you better not be joking, kent," you threatened, putting your finger on his chest and shoving him a bit.

connor flinched back in pain as you muttered a sorry, "i'm not joking, i'd really like to take you out for coffee sometime," he asked as he grabbed your hand and gave it a kiss. you agreed as you responded with a kiss on his cheek, "also, i had this lying around my room and figured you'd like it more than i would," he dug into his backpack and gave you a magazine.

your eyes widen seeing what it was. it was the magazine that superboy first appeared in and you had analyzed a few signatures of his to know that it was his signature on the front, "did superboy sign this?" you practically tried to contain your excitement as you ran your finger over the sharpie.

connor nodded, "i met him one time after he saved a few people in metropolis last year and got him to sign the magazine. i figured since you like hm a lot more than i do, you'd take care of it better than i would," overwhelmed with excitement, you grabbed connor by the neck and kissed him.

connor was taken back by the sudden kiss but awkwardly responded with another kiss as you held the magazine close to your chest, "i can't thank you enough for this connor," you whispered, your lips still on his a bit. he chuckled, "just meet me at the coffee shop near the school and that'll suffice," he replied, giving you another kiss before slowly getting up.

"now lets get to our second period before we get marked truant again," he grabbed your hand and held it as softly as possible, "you know how much shit our friends are gonna give us, right?" you said, laughing a bit. connor nodded, "nothing we can't handle," he replied as he squeezed your hand in reassurance.

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Ahkmenrah

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(This movie was my childhood. Brings back so many good memories ...and crushes.)

- You’d worked at quite a few museums in your day but none of them were quite like the Museum of Natural History; a fact you’d be made aware of very suddenly and without warning.

- You were somewhat new to the building, hired to do work on the exhibits since you were skilled in restoration and design. You weren’t a night worker, at least you weren’t supposed to be, but you’d accidentally dropped something as you were leaving your office and were forced to stay late to clean it up.

- After a few moments of sweeping, you’d heard a commotion upstairs and as you went to leave the museum; and investigate, you’d walked straight into the beautiful chaos of a night at the museum.

- Let’s just say that Larry had a lot to explain, all of which you took surprisingly well; though you didn’t have much of a choice now did you?

- Ahkmenrah spotted you from across the museum and watched as you made your way around the new magical world, staring at every person and thing in awe. He spied on you throughout the night and found that when he’d finally thought it appropriate to approach you, the sun was already beginning to rise.

- So the next day, he asks Larry about you, pretending as though he’s asking for no reason at all. Larry knowingly offers to introduce the two of you and the mummy drops the act, eagerly accepting.

“I’d like that very much, yes.”

- Larry approaches you with the sparkling pharaoh and is soon called away by someone else, leaving the two of you alone to speak. Ahkmenrah motions over to a bench nearby, commenting that it “must be a lot to get used to” as you both take a seat. You laugh in agreement and before you know it, the two of you are engaged in a conversation.

- Ahkmenrah’s sweet, he’s charming, he’s handsome, and he’s quite enamored with you; though you don’t know that just yet.

- Soon enough, it’s time for the sun to rise and he takes notice, begrudgingly standing and admitting that he “must say goodbye”. You respond with a somewhat disappointed goodbye yourself, watching as he begins to walk away before he turns and says “I should like to see you tomorrow ...to continue our conversation” to which you happily agree.

- The two of you become close fairly quickly. Anytime he spots you in a room, he makes a beeline towards you; both because he really likes you and because he’s somewhat awkward himself.

- He always likes being there for you, considering you’re new and not used to all that history coming to life stuff. He takes pride in being your guide and sort of likes the feeling of you depending on him a bit.

- Your “friendship” takes an obvious romantic turn, particularly; and outwardly, on his side; I say “friendship” because it was probably somewhat obvious from that he liked you more than that even from the beginning.

- He compliments you, oftentimes earnestly and quietly calling you beautiful, uses any excuse to touch you and your clothes, etc. He awes you with talks of Egypt and sweeps you off your feet quite easily. It’s really only a matter of time before the two of you get together.

- That “time” comes one day as you’re both sitting all alone. The room is dark and warmly lit and you’re sitting so close that his knees are touching yours. His hands hold yours as he speaks quietly to you and your face is leaned in close so that you can hear him.

- And then it just happens, your faces close in and you kiss, his grasp tightening around your hands.

- You’re interrupted by one of the others, most likely Larry who quickly apologizes and mentions something about the sun coming up before leaving the two of you be. Ahkmenrah turns back to you, saying something along the lines of “so we must once again say goodbye” with a small smile.

“It would appear so.” You respond, though you’re hesitant to move from your place. But alas, the sun has to rise and you have to go home.

“Tomorrow then,” He smiles at you, giving your hand one last squeeze. “...My queen.”

- You leave that morning, eager for the daylight to go and for you to be reunited with your newfound lover once more.

- Ahkmenrahs from ancient Egypt so I’m sure he isn’t particularly accustomed to “normal” Pda. That being said, he is somewhat dorky and practically has an entire hall to himself so he either just gives you innocent pda or the two of you go to his exhibit; and not have to worry about anyone seeing you.

- He’s been locked up in a sarcophagus for about fifty years; or more, so he’s arguably a bit touch starved. He’s always trying to touch you in some way and absolutely loves it whenever you touch him.

- He likes holding both your hands in his, occasionally bringing one of them to his lips. He just likes touching your hands in general if we’re being honest.

- Gentle caresses. He’s in love, leave him alone.

- Forehead and cheek kisses. He likes prolonging the amount of time his lips spend on your skin; a normal prolonged amount of time of course.

- Long, soft kisses.

- Loving makeout sessions. His hands roam your back and pull you in as close as they can whenever you have one.

- He likes laying between your legs and/or resting his head in your lap.

- Cuddling with your arms wrapped around each other and your head resting against his shoulder. He likes laying and talking with you, playing with the fingers that lay on his chest.

- Having his robes draped over and around you.

- He likes having you with him at all times, both because he’s protective of you and because he can’t bear to be away from you for more than a few hours.

- You’ll usually hang back and cling to his arm whenever you’re standing together. He likes feeling your presence at his side and the light grip you have on him.

- A bit clingy. He only gets to see you at night and has been alone for quite some time, of course he’s gonna want to be around you as much as possible.

- He always gets somewhat flustered when you give him gifts; particularly sweet things like flowers. You would have sworn you’d given him your underwear with the way he smiles and blushes in response.

- Ahkmenrah was the favorite son so he was a bit spoiled as a child. That being said, he’s surprisingly humble and sweet for a pharaoh that was given the best of everything.

- He’s probably teared up a little because of you at some point, whether it be your actions or just the fact that you’re there with him. He can get a bit emotional at times.

- Dancing together. We all saw how beautifully that man can move.

- Sneaking him out every once in a while. He really likes your apartment; even if you’re sort of embarrassed because he’s a literal pharaoh and lived in a temple when he was alive.

- Movie dates. They’re the easiest thing to do with him and he’s missed out on pretty much all of them so he’s got a lot of catching up to do.

- Listening to music together.

- Considering his time at Cambridge and just the way he is, he may or may not wax poetic about or at you on occasion. He gets a little embarrassed when he realizes that he’s doing it but it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard/seen.

- Compliments and lots of them; usually paired with a term of endearment.

- He uses a lot of pet names on you, usually somewhat old fashioned ones. My dear, my sun, my queen, etc.

- He’s the cutest when posing for photos. He tries to look all regal in the beginning but it quickly dissolves into the adorable dorkiness that you know so well.

- The boy is lovestruck. He could sit and watch you do nothing with this look of unwavering love on his face for hours. Need to do some work? Thats totally fine. He’ll just sit there and love you.

- Please let him braid your hair. There’s just something that’s so relaxing and sweet about it to him.

- He has a hard time saying no to you. You’re his queen after all, you should have everything you could ever dream of; and he’s just too sweet to deny nearly anyone.

- Polite and respectful, Ahkmenrah is a gentleman with incredibly good manners. You’ll never be disappointed in his behavior.

- Helping Larry and him take care of the museum and tablet.

- Teaching him about all he’s missed.

- Always having a translator. He certainly comes in handy when you’re traveling around the museum and run into some “hostile” exhibits.

- Getting quietly and excitedly told a bunch of stories. He’s always so adorably eager to tell you about his life; whether it be about Ancient Egypt or more present times.

- He wants to introduce you to his parents so badly; though he’s somewhat embarrassed by them. Maybe you’ll transfer to the London museum for a bit?

- Getting bragged about. He always makes you sound cooler than you really are, though in your case, that’s just how he sees you.

- Stopping him from making morbid comments; oftentimes at the wrong time, or just giving him a look. He’s got a sort of different view on what’s exactly an acceptable thing to say.

“Too dark?”

- Sharing looks and making comments to each other.

- He’s always so gentle and caring with you; especially when you’re hurt or upset. He prides himself on being by your side and taking care of you.

- He’s a fairly patient person; especially with you. I mean, he’s had to wait a lot more than a few years to be let out of his sarcophagus so one can assume that he’d be good at that sort of thing.

- He’s not a terribly jealous person. Arguably, if you choose to be in a difficult relationship with a mummy, then you obviously want that relationship, right? He’s loyal and he expects you to be as well; that’s how it was in his times.

- That being said: if someone shows interest in you then he’ll get a bit jealous; though he’ll save his real jealousy for when he gets to see how you respond to them and how they respond to him making it known that you’re together.

- The museum can certainly get a bit dangerous at times; and he can only be there for you when you’re there, so of course he’ll be protective of and worry about you. He looks out for you and tells you to be careful every time you’re saying goodbye.

- The two of you hardly ever fight or argue, you’re just compatible with each other; and you rarely have the time to do so anyway. Plus, your pharaoh doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and lives to please you, so why would he try to fight with you?

- If he’s somehow done something; which is highly unlikely, he’ll apologize the minute that he realizes he’s upset you or thinks that he has. He’ll give you space if you want or need it and welcomes you back with open arms when you’re ready.

- If you’ve upset him then he’ll do his best to give you the silent treatment and act professional with you; not quite cold but not loving like he usually is. He’ll do so until you apologize and he cracks, shyly accepting your apology and reverting back to his sweet self.

- Lots of I love yous. You’re his queen, what do you expect?

- Your relationship is certainly going to be a bit challenging, but the happiness and love you feel with each other is worth it.

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 5

A/N: this went in a completely different direction than the original comic did but I think its better this way. More angstier.

Chapter 4

The glow of blue fire emanates from the Witches’ house. As the three brothers watched, the child tucked safely into Lucifer’s arm, the mood was solemn.

“So, it’s over? What happens now?” Beel asked.

“We go home,” The Avatar of Pride replies, “And we help Mammon do his best to move past this...” He turns to look at his brothers, the glow from the fire casting a dark shadow over his face. “We’re finished here. Let’s go.”

A portal was opened as the eldest walked through followed by the others. On the other side, he found Levi and Belphegor trying to move Satan’s old crib from the attic down to Arella’s old room.

“Come on, Levi, put your back into it!” Belphie said as they moved down the stairs carefully. “I’m practically carrying this thing on my own here.”

“I'm trying! A shut in like me isn’t meant to be moving something so heavy.” Levi groaned as he hefted the crib up further.

Lucifer only cleared his throat as the seventh and third-born brothers looked his way. “Where’s Mammon?”

“I used my powers to put him back to sleep so he could rest up before the kid got here.” The Avatar of Sloth replied. “He doesn’t need to be over-tired and dealing with an infant at the same time. It’s a recipe for disaster, if you ask me. ”

At the commotion, Arella came out of the kitchen where she was washing out all of the old baby bottles they would need. “Oh, you’re back. I can take him now. Beel, would you help them with the crib please? It’ll be going in my old room for the time being, and Satan, would you finish drying the bottles for me, please?”

Both brothers nodded with Beel stepping forth to take the crib from his brothers and Satan headed to the kitchen. Levi and Belphie let out exhausted sighs as they headed off to their rooms and the only two left now in the entrance hall were Lucifer and Arella. She held her arms out for the little one and Lucifer was all too happy to oblige her.

With a small cry of discontentment, the baby settled into her arms quickly as she shushed him. She rocked him gently until he was back to sleep. Seeing her step so readily into the role of motherhood left the demon impressed.

“He’s already had a diaper change around two hours ago and he ate around an hour ago so he should be fine for a little bit.”

”Alright, he is frightfully thin though which worries me, but he’s in good hands now.”

“Why are you doing this, Arella? You know you don’t have to and yet here you are, embracing a child that’s not even yours.”

“Do I need a reason?” She smiles as she looked up at him. “I don’t think I do. I suppose if I have to have a reason it would be that I just want to help Mammon. He can’t do this alone. Don’t you think that’s enough?”

The Avatar of Pride only nodded. “You humans never cease to amaze me with your generosity. Has he thought of a name yet?”

“He threw a couple names out there but ultimately he couldn’t decide so he asked me to choose the name from the ones he suggested.”

“And?”

“I chose the name Cyrus, from the Latin meaning sun. Right now, it’s a very dark time in our lives, but I hope one day he’ll be bright like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Very thoughtful of you,” The demon hums. “But are you sure you’ll be alright tonight? You’ve been up nearly all night. You have to be exhausted by now.”

“I’ll be alright. This isn’t the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter. When I graduated from Cambridge a couple years back, I earned myself a degree in biochemical engineering. I can’t tell you the number of sleepless nights I had cramming in last minute reviews. This won’t be anything compared to those. I’m obviously not planning to go to RAD tomorrow, so I can just sleep when Cyrus sleeps.”

“You can take online courses then. We’re going to try to pass him off as your child for that to work you’ll need to be absent from RAD for an extended period of time. If word gets out that my brother was assaulted, the mockery he’ll face will be absolutely ridiculous. It’ll be easy since demons don’t know much about human anatomy. We can always say it was a surprise pregnancy and you never showed.”

Arella only nodded at that. “Thank you,” she turned and headed to her old room for the night to settle the baby.

----------------------------------------------

Mammon slept for a full eight hours before waking up with a start. While he felt rested, there was also an odd sense of worry flowing through him. He looked around frantically and then realized what was missing. Arella wasn’t with him. He got out of bed and made his way around the house looking for his mate. She would be in the last place he looked- in her room. He shrunk back at the sight of his child resting against her chest, as a soft purring noise filled the room. The sight reminded him just how much he wanted them to have a child of their own together.

The demon stood there, mesmerized by the sight in front of him until his human noticed him. She motioned for him to join her on the bed, a bright smile enveloped her features as he did just that.

“He’s beautiful, love.” She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you want to try to hold him?”

He shook his head as he rested his cheek against her. “I don’t know if I can right now...” The Avatar of Greed only frowned. He wanted to hold Cyrus but he still felt like none of this was real. “It feels like a bad dream... Like I’ll wake up any second now.”

“That’s alright. If it helps, you could pretend that he was always our son to begin with. It might help you in the long run.”

“Do ya think... maybe I can trick myself like that?” He reached out and stroked the child’s cheek. “’Rella, I don’t get it... How can somethin’ so beautiful be born from somethin’ so horrible?”

“Sometimes the best things come from tragedy, Love. I’m so proud of you for being strong enough to take him in, do you know that?”

Mammon would only nod in response as a tiny hand came to wrap around his finger. For a moment all the air was stolen out of his chest as he recoiled from the contact slightly. The feeling of a crushing weight on his chest that he had only felt in his worst nightmares had returned. Suddenly, he wondered if he made the right decision as the realization set in that he was a father now. What if he was never able to love his son? What kind of damage would that do to his child? Could he do this?

“Mammon?”

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry,” he takes a few deep breaths and he’s able to calm himself. “I'll take him now. Hafta get past this at some point. I hafta be the parent he needs.”

“You will be. I have faith in you.” Arella kissed his cheek before carefully transferring Cyrus to his father. “I know you’ll be a fantastic father once you’re able to see him separately from what his mother and aunts did to you.”

He only nodded as Arella cards her fingers through his hair. He thought this would be a monumental challenge at first, and it still was but as long as she was here, he thought maybe things would go smoother.

—————————————————————

The crying was the worst part for Mammon and Cyrus was unfortunately a fussy baby. Over the past few weeks since he’d been brought home, there were multiple times where the white-haired demon had to leave the room whenever his child cried or pass him off to his adoptive mother, feeling too physically sick to listen to or even look at the child.

The end of the spring term was nearly upon them and since exams would be coming up. Mammon took every chance he could to stay late at RAD for some extra studying with Satan and Asmodeus, knowing he had to get his grades back up. But the guilt was eating away at him. Arella was at home all day, typically alone, with his child. Any good father- any good mate- would be rushing home to give his partner a break to take time for herself and Mammon knows this but even when he doesn’t stay late at school he finds himself dragging his feet to get home.

He stared and stared at the work book in front of him. It was curses and hexes, one of his most hated subjects and arguably his worst grade. Eventually, he just shut the work book, taking of his glasses and just rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. This caught the attention of his younger brothers.

”You alright, Mams?” Asmo asked as he set his pen down.

”Am I a bad father?” The white-haired demon countered with his own question.

”No, of course not.” Satan frowned. “Given everything that happened, I’d say you’re doing great.”

”It doesn’t feel like it,” he frowned. “This is my kid and yet it feels like Arella’s doin’ all the work. Takin’ care of him all the time, stayin’ home with him all the time… It should be me doin’ all the work not her! I’m the one who said I’d keep him and yet I can’t bring myself to do anything for him. A-And its not like I don’t know how to take care of a baby. I’ve done it before.”

The Avatar of Greed ran a hand through his hair in frustration before packing up his things.

”Where are you going?” Satan yelled after his brother before being shushed by the librarian.

”Home! To apologize to my mate and force myself to take care of my child.”

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Next

Masterlist 2

[lit-in-thy-heart]

If you want to! Mergwaine and tackle hug (romantic or platonic). Idk Gwaine is just the type and it’d be so cute. Maybe after they’ve been reunited??? Or not whatever works 💗

@rainbowvamp thank you for the prompt!! 💕 i took a couple of liberties in that it's a tackle and a hug, i hope that's alright, and i'm sorry about the tone, they just seem to be getting angstier and angstier...

(set a few days after camlann)

as usual, under the cut, and thank you again!!

Whilst the rest of the court marvelled at Gwaine’s miraculously hasty recovery, Gwaine was embracing his newly-discovered invincibility by patrolling the Darkling Woods alone.

He had been clinging to life by a thread, but even in his deadened state he had recognised the hands that had slowly coaxed his body back to consciousness. Instinctively, Gwaine’s own hand jumped to his chest, where he had felt Merlin’s fingers brush against his skin. He wasn’t sure if he’d called out his name, if they’d even spoken, or quite what Merlin had done to him, but Gwaine had been able to sit up after a day and Merlin had been gone.

Healing spells had never been Merlin’s strong suit and Gwaine knew that they were capable of draining every last trace of a skittish pulse if the healer was already weakened. And Merlin would be weakened after watching Arthur die, that Gwaine knew all too well. And Gwaine couldn’t lose Merlin, not after everything that had happened. Particularly not as a result of Merlin reversing Morgana’s damage.

Gwaine pushed through the branches, tucking his hair behind his ear and pausing for a moment by a large oak tree. His fingers fumbled for the knots on the trunk as his legs threatened to crumble beneath him, seeking out the letters carved into the wood. It had been a ridiculous idea, and childish at that, but that hadn’t stopped him from leaving the scar of his initials interlinked with that of Merlin’s in the soft sunset so many years before. Severing himself from the tree as the strength returned to him in gradual waves, Gwaine moved further into the woods, plunging into the translucent darkness left by the shadows of the sun as the leaves above him obscured its path. He and Merlin had grown apart over the last year, and Gwaine had been trying his best to not let it show just how desperately his feet were treading water beneath the surface in the effort to keep their relationship afloat. Merlin had not left his side for a week after Gwaine had returned from Morgana’s clutches with Percival, but he had been paying more and more attention to Arthur and his well being, which Gwaine had attempted to apply logic to. It had made sense that Merlin was focused on Arthur, particularly with the multiple threats lurking in the shadows, and Gwaine himself had sworn loyalty to Arthur. Though that didn’t mean that his service, as it had always been, wasn’t primarily dedicated to Merlin. Everything he did – or had done – for Arthur had been because Merlin had asked him to, or because Gwaine had been able to see the expression lingering in the eyes that he knew so well, the fear that had darkened the delicate irises for the past year.

For a year, Gwaine had mourned the moments where Merlin would unflinchingly tell him about his father, or his magic, or the numerous dangers he’d encountered – though that last one had usually been reserved for when Gwaine had needed a scare to rid himself of hiccups. He had watched Merlin close off more and more of himself and Gwaine hadn’t even realised that Merlin had been dying until he had collapsed on Gwaine’s bed hours after the attempted assassination of Arthur and begrudgingly told him the whole tale. Even then he’d elected to omit the fact that Gwen was wanting Arthur dead, but Gwaine also knew that Merlin had the opinion of himself that his word was worth nothing, despite Gwaine having told him multiple times that he would believe Merlin over Arthur any day of the week. And if Merlin had spent the last of his spirit on Gwaine before they even had the chance to recover the land decimated by drought, Gwaine would never forgive himself.

Through the hesitant birdsong, the snapping of a twig resounded like a crossbow bolt to the skull. Gwaine pressed himself to a tree trunk and, one hand hovering over his sword, ignited sparks that scattered themselves across his fingertips. Through the branches, he caught sight of a hooded figure and a glint of metal and, putting aside all cautions of taking it easy, launched himself at the intruder. Having knocked them to the ground, Gwaine roughly turned them over onto their back between his legs, hand drawn back behind his head as the sparks evolved into ribbons of fire, his eyes burning with the same heat that Merlin’s had flared with so many times.

The same heat that was flickering right in front of him.

In wonder, Merlin reached up with his fingertips to graze the stubble on Gwaine’s chin, the drawn and anxious expression buried amidst it, the bruises stretched out beneath his eyes. When he spoke, he sounded like he was older than time itself. ‘I didn’t think it would work,’ he whispered, the fire in his eyes fading.

Instead of the vibrant blue that Gwaine was used to, the gaze that held his was commanded by the uncertain watery depths of the sky snatched between storm clouds. It was like all the colour had been drained from him and Merlin had been left with the dregs of his former self, and Gwaine’s hands, dropping the flames like he had dropped his guard around the warlock so long ago, jumped to Merlin’s cheeks to check that he was not some trick of his mind.

‘What happened to you?’

‘I gave you all,’ Merlin breathed back, eyes still roaming his form. ‘Because I couldn’t save Arthur, so I had to save you. Morgana was the darkness to my light, and you are my light. I couldn’t let her corrupt you. So I poured everything I had into reversing her damage. I poured everything I had into you.’

‘And nearly killed yourself in the process,’ said Gwaine sharply, fingers darting to the faint heartbeat beneath Merlin’s shirt. He slid from him, trying to conceal his trembling lower lip, and shook out his hair as he held out his arms. ‘Come here, you self-sacrificing fuck.’

Merlin fell into him like an acorn burying itself in the ground, rooting itself to the very earth it would one day become in the hopes of being able to slowly flourish. Savouring the cool touch, Gwaine wrapped his arms around the warlock in the attempt to transfer some of his body heat. Merlin was still breathing, which was always a good sign, and the heart thumping against him was stronger than it had been mere moments before. They hadn’t held each other like this since the morning that Merlin had been released from the cells after being cleared of poisoning Arthur. When Merlin touched him, it was like a butterfly was darting across Gwaine’s skin and seeking out the nectar hidden in his pores, and Gwaine closed his eyes.

‘Do you still have your magic?’

Merlin’s reply was thickened by the threat of tears. ‘I think so. It doesn’t feel as strong as it did, but I know a way to get it back if it is gone. You didn’t tell me that you’d been practising.’

Gwaine’s fingers were making their way along Merlin’s ribs. ‘There wasn’t really a chance to drop it into conversation,’ he softly said. ‘You were preoccupied with—You were preoccupied with other things.’

‘I’m sorry. For isolating myself. I just—I couldn’t afford to get distracted. I couldn’t allow everything that had been built to crumble so soon after.’ Merlin dropped his head into Gwaine’s shoulder. ‘It has anyway, though, and I’ve hurt you in the process. And I should have stayed by your side, when I healed you. But there were other voices and I was selfish and couldn’t handle the prospect of yet another failure, this time with an audience, and—’

‘Merlin, it’s alright. You’ve had so much pressure put on you for so long and, yes, you’ve hurt me, but you’re a selfless bastard who was doing it to protect me. I’d say that I expect you to make it up to me, but you’ve just saved my life, so I think that counteracts some of the distance that was between us. Not that I’ll say no to flowers, if that inclination possesses you,’ Gwaine added as an afterthought.

Pulling away, Merlin abandoned his fingers to Gwaine’s soft hair, gaze darting anywhere but Gwaine’s warm eyes. Then, he met them. ‘You know I love you, don’t you?’

Had Merlin asked that several months ago, Gwaine would have screamed that he show him, but Merlin had been willing to sacrifice himself for Gwaine. And Merlin being prepared to drain himself of his magic, the one thing that he had defined himself by – which was arguably not the best idea, but there would be time to show Merlin how much more he was worth – was more than enough proof that he loved Gwaine. ‘I know now. And I love you too.’

‘I won’t leave you again, I promise you.’

A lifetime of living as a pariah was screaming at Gwaine to not trust Merlin, to push him away to protect himself, but his heart was weeping and Merlin’s stare was so fierce for one who seemed so fragile. ‘I know you won’t.’ Gwaine pressed a kiss to Merlin’s forehead, lips lingering as he closed his eyes. ‘I know you won’t.’

[c00lkidvibes]

Hey new bestie would you do Bucky Barnes for the Soulmate AU A-Z thingy!

Soulmate AU Alphabet: Bucky Barnes

thank you for sending this in! <3 i kinda dipped and switched different storylines, like one has them meeting calmly and one has the Winter Soldier saving her. also i think you’re supposed to pick one and do a oneshot but i did tiny one shots for a lot of them so just keep your imagination running- im not too good at this lol.

a...ging stops at 18 until you find your soulmate so the two of you can grow old together.

Since Bucky was born in like 1917, he’d be really confused as to why he stopped at 18 for such a long time. Most of his friends found their soulmates quickly, all but Steve. But then he met Peggy and they started growing together. But, when the war really started, finding a soulmate was Bucky’s least important priority. Once he became the Winter Soldier, lonely nights in the cold Russian compound forced his mind back into his soulmate.

“Was I ever good enough for a soulmate?”

“They’re probably dead by now, why can’t I just age if they’re dead?”

When you were a little girl, the stigma around finding a soulmate, your one and only, was arguably the “most important thing a woman does in her life”. It made you sick. Once you stopped growing at 18, you were sure you were just going to stay that way forever.

b...ody art (doodles that a person draws on themselves appear on their soulmate’s skin).

You were always drawing on yourself, whether it be absentmindedly doodling in class or distracting yourself from your anxiety.

When Bucky, or perhaps, the Hydra workers see these useless scribbles on his arms and hands, they cover them up. But, when he’s finally alone, or as alone as he can be being in a highly monitored room, he stares at them. After all this time, he thought you didn’t exist. Now he has hope to find you, to find someone.

c...olors (aka the standard soulmate au where the world is black and white until you meet your soulmate and see colors).

For how long Bucky would have to wait to see color, he’d LOVE to finally see something other than two colors. He loves the color of your eyes, because that’s the first color he saw when he met you, his soulmate.

d...amage done to a person also translates into their soulmate’s body (cuts, bruises and all).

Once you turn 18, you start noticing how careless your “soulmate” is. Cuts, bruises, horrible headaches, jolts of electric shock that have you doubled over in pain. You don’t know what your soulmate does, but holy shit do you think he needs a new lifestyle.

e...sp (soulmates can sense one another’s presence and feel each other’s exact emotions even when miles away).

Almost every night, you feel sad when you start to feel your soulmates energy channeling in. Paired up with how hurt he must be feeling, it isn’t long until you start feeling really bad for him.

f...irst words/thoughts your soulmate says/thinks when seeing you are written on your skin.

You’d see him first, in New York. He was getting coffee near a food truck you worked at. Bucky would feel a slight burn on his forearm, and he’d look down and see the words “Wow, he’s really hot.” in small print. Being taken back, he frantically looks around trying to find someone. You witnessing all of this, decide to not to hide. His eyes meet yours, and you feel the slight burn on your arm. “Is that her? Oh my God, she’s gorgeous.” You smile and look back up to see the mystery man walking back toward you.

g...uardian (it is said that the person who saves you from a near-death experience is your soulmate—drowning, car crash, etc.)

He was a ghost. You didn’t know what happened, but now everything was in ruin. All you could hear was ringing and a faint roaring sound of fire. The explosion happened in an instant. He picked you up, and carried you out. Then he sets you down. He would later be asked what was so special about this girl.

“Why, soldat?”

“It felt like I knew her.”

“Wipe him again.”

h...eartbeats (the soulmates share the same heartbeat—when one feels panicked, shocked, etc, the other can feel it too).

Almost constant panic. Why was he so panicked, all the time? When you, or he, felt like this, you decided to start getting into a calm state to try and transfer it to him. You stopped what you were doing, took many deep breaths until you and him felt better. Bucky appreciates this to his grave. It’s what helps him sleep.

i...dentifier (a word or symbol which is imputed to your soulmate is somewhere on your body).

One night, you find a little black star on your left arm. You didn’t pay much mine to it, you didn’t really know what it meant.

The same night, Bucky finds a small zodiac sign print on his wrist. He didn’t spend too much time thinking about it, there were millions of people with this zodiac, and that was no way to narrow it down.

j...uxtaposition (your soulmate is the exact opposite of you, yet you find yourselves complementing one another).

Once you finally meet your soulmate, you couldn’t believe how polar opposite you were. He hated going outdoors, the fear of being recognized was too much to bear for him. He hated how you preferred movies over books. But, when you took him for a walk in Central Park during fall time, he understood. When he read you The Hobbit on rainy nights, you understood.

k...eys and locks are randomly dispersed to soulmates on chains when they are born. when in proximity, the lock and key will act as magnets and bring the two soulmates closer together until the key is placed in the lock and a gratifying click is heard, unlocking the chain.

Almost everyone you knew no longer had the chain. You hated it. It was annoying, always in the way.

Bucky hated his chain too. Multiple agents had tried to cut it busing progressively more intense methods. Each agent walking away with progressively worse injuries.

It wasn’t until years after he found his chain being pulled by an invisible force into a small shoppe in Time Square.

l...ast words your soulmate says are written on your skin, so you do not know it is them until they are gone.

Fortunately, you were able to find your soulmate. On Buckys last day, he grabs your hand and tells you how much he loves you. These words are forever engraved on your arm.

m...arks or stains of the color black are somewhere on your body (palm of your hand, knuckles, knee) until you and your soulmate finally make physical contact. once the mark is touched, it fades to be consistent with the person’s skin color.

Your mark is always covered. So is Bucky’s. It wasn’t like Bucky would ever find his soulmate in the Winter Soldier program. Or at least he thought.

[recurring-polynya]

What comparisons can be made between renruki and Ichiruki? I often wondered about this.

This is such a hot button issue that as soon as I received this (perfectly polite) ask, my body tensed up and my brain went Am I being trolled?

It’s honestly a shame that there is so much bad blood behind this, because it is, in fact, a very interesting thing to talk about, and I am going to attempt to do so in good faith, because I love thinking about this kind of thing. Even though I am very openly a Renruki shipper, I love all three of these characters very much, and I think that Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship is very important! I am doing my best to be neutral, although I have not read very much Ichiruki fanfic/meta, so please give me a benefit of a doubt. Obviously, I can’t stop anyone from reblogging this and putting their own comments on it, but I have no interest in getting in debates over it, so don’t be surprised if I don’t engage.

This is both long, and I am sure some people don’t care, so I’m gonna put the rest under a cut. I have tried to hard to write this in a way that will not make anyone mad, but if you think it will make you mad, please give yourself the gift of not clicking on it.

So, what is the same between Ichigo and Renji? Lots, actually. Physically, they are both tall, strong, and have ridiculously colored spiky hair. They are outwardly grumpy, but secretly have soft, gooey centers. Neither one of them is dumb, but they are both dumbasses. They are protectors: they would rather take any amount of pain or damage onto themselves than see a loved one hurt. Their friends are everything to them, and that goes triple for Rukia.

How are they different, then? There are three major bullets:

- Ichigo is alive. Renji is dead. Perhaps this is a little flip, but Renji belongs to same world that Rukia does, and Ichigo does not. This is not a value judgment, it is just a fact: If Rukia ends up with Renji, she stays where she is. If she ends up with Ichigo, either Rukia or Ichigo have to make a huge change. I will get back to this.

- Youth vs. Experience. Ichigo is a 15-year old boy, as we are told about 1000 times. There is some mystery over how old Rukia and Renji are, but they have graduated from secondary education and are currently employed. I think it’s safe to assume that they are roughly close in age to each other, but I think Rukia may perceive Renji as seeming older than herself-- he graduated from school, and she didn’t; he’s on his third squad transfer, whereas she’s hasn’t budged from her initial, entry-level job, and he’s now middle management. However, the arc of the story we don’t get to see, is that over the timeskips, Rukia not only catches up to, but surpasses him. Also, not for nothing, but I think that in the same way Rukia is immediately drawn to Ichigo because of his resemblance to Kaien, I think she is also drawn to him for his resemblance to Young Renji-- a grumpy, prickly young man, leaking self-doubt from every pore, whom she is more able to be generous towards through the lens of age and experience. (And I think this comparison could support either ship)

- Ichigo is the protagonist. Rules don’t apply to him. Fate breaks on his sword. He represents the triumph of love or hard work or dreams or what have you over the cruel millstone of the world. Renji, on the other hand, is firmly bound to the rules of the world in which he inhabits. In fact, that is arguably the entire purpose of his character. Renji’s fights are often used to set the stakes of the conflict-- ah, Renji got mangled, this guy must be tough. In the Soul Society Arc, he is an antagonist because he is doing what he is supposed to. In the TYBW, Kubo literally throws the two of them in a pit to fight some asauchi just to make the point that Renji is a shinigami and Ichigo is something else.

Let’s jump over to Rukia for a moment. Rukia is a great character, one of my favorite characters in any media. Rukia contains multitudes. She is tough and strong, but often melancholy. She can be beautiful and elegant, but she also lies and breaks rules and tried to put Kon in a dead cat once. Emotionally, she likes to present a cool front, but she has a big, loving heart, and she feels deeply. As a character, all of this makes her very easy to project onto, which is why I think so many people OTP her with someone, no matter who.Some people choose to try to make her into one of these things or another, and some people try to keep her as the full bundle of contradictions that she is.

There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There are many, many scenes that can be interpreted romantically, but no one goes on a date, no one kisses. Ichigo gazes longingly into the eyes of all his friends, it’s just a thing he does. Orihime does explicitly proclaim at one point that she loves Rukia, although I suspect that in the original Japanese, it’s the word for “friendship love” and not the very-rarely-used “romantic love.” I have seen a scene-for-scene comparison of IchiHime “romantic moments” only it’s Chad and Uryuu (which I choose to believe supports IshiChad, rather than negates IchiHime, but we may all choose for ourselves!) My point is that shipping in Bleach is a DIY craft, which, when we’re all having a good time, is what makes it so fun.

So, bringing all of this together, given that Ichigo and Renji are fairly similar characters, why are the ships so different, and what makes one appeal to some people and be abhorrent to someone else?

I think about romance stories a lot. I actually took a class on romance novels in college and I just really like to think about the mechanics of stories. In the truest sense of the word, “romance” is about extremes-- about sailing the high seas and wearing ostentatious shirts and shouting off a cliff in a rainstorm. When we talk about romance as a genre, the characters tend to behave in a way that we would not prefer our actual romantic partners do, but the over-the-top nature of it makes us swoon and our hearts drop -- except when it doesn’t. What is heart-breakingly romantic to some people can be a huge turn-off to others. The biggest fight my husband and I have ever had was over a kdrama. The male lead was hiding his identity from the female lead in order to help her, and I found it all to be deeply, deeply romantic, and my husband turned to me and said “He is being dishonest with her and I think it’s morally wrong” and I almost died.

So, let’s break down some of the themes of the two ships, which I think gets at the meat of what you were asking. Now, like I said, shipping is very participatory, and anyone may have their own ideas of how these relationships would be, and I am a big fan of “a great writer can get away with anything”, but in broad strokes, I think that these are the themes of the two ships:

IchiRuki:

Love conquers all/ Love is enough to overcome differences of class, age, lifestyle, geography, etc.

Instant connections/Love at first sight

Love is a force of the universe that cannot be denied or defeated

Young love

Grand gestures

Your partner changes you (in a positive way)/You effect change in your partner

Your partner is the center of your world

Your partner is the one person who can get through to you/You are the one person who can get through to your partner

Banter

Dumbassery

RenRuki:

Love takes work

Best friends to lovers

Second chances/Broken things can be repaired

Love is a choice

You improve with age

Shared experiences build love

Pining

Working together with your partner to create a mutually satisfying life together

Your partner enriches your world, but your independence is maintained

Banter

Dumbassery

There is also some degree of character interpretation at work, too-- there seems to be a huge degree of disagreement between fans as to whether:

a) Ichigo enjoys his normal, human life, and even though he do anything to protect what he loves, he would prefer to live a human existence with his human friends and family. He credits Rukia will helping him realize his strength and powers.

b) Ichigo is unsatisfied with his human life and that meeting Rukia opened the doorway to a life of excitement and adventure, on top of being given the strength to protect his loved ones.

As far as Ichigo pairings go, I think that most IchiHime people fall in category (a) and most IchiRuki (and GrimmIchi) shippers fall in (b). In both cases, peoples’ ships align with their view of what makes Ichigo happy. Most IchiRuki content I have seen  seems to feature Ichigo moving to Soul Society, rather than Rukia moving to Karakura. Rukia pretty explicitly indicates at the end of the Soul Society Arc that she wants to stay in Soul Society, plus she’s got a pretty established life there. Contrast that to the story of Isshin and Masaki-- Isshin seems pretty flippant and disaffected about his life in Soul Society; it doesn’t seem like it was a particularly hard choice for him to give up being a shinigami. Also, it’s pretty clear that what Isshin did was illegal, and I’m not sure there would be an easy way for Rukia to just say “WELP, I’m off to live as a human, smell you jerks later.”

To try to wrap things up, I think the actual dynamics of an IchiRuki or RenRuki relationship would be very similar, actually. They would banter a lot and dive headfirst into danger and support each other no matter what. Byakuya would treat either guy with the vaguest, most grudging amount of respect. The primary perpetual, unresolved argument between Rukia and Ichigo would be “The Living World is dumb/Soul Society is dumb”, whereas with Rukia and Renji, it would be “Squad 6 is dumb/Squad 13 is dumb wait no I didn’t mean that Captain Ukitake is an angel.”

Personally, I headcanon Renji as being more able than Ichigo to step back and be the support person in the relationship (see that bullet about Ichigo being the protag), so I think that RenRuki could manage to run a functional household, whereas Ichigo and Rukia would just go on adventures until they got arrested for tax evasion.

*For the record, I am very pro-IchiRenRuki, except that they would be even worse at running a household. It’s just Renji trying to explain how a chore wheel works while Rukia and Ichigo walk out the door on him.

[krustywhore]

a language in itself // moreid

inspired by this doodle by @owlpip / @owlpipscribbles and i just had the cutest idea when i saw it so naturally i wrote this little one-shot<3 fig i hope you like it

Spencer, who was arguably not-so easily frazzled, was currently debating whether or not to lose his shit in front of all of his new coworkers. It was his first day at the BAU, for Christ’s sake, and he was seconds away from making a complete fool of himself in the middle of the bullpen.

With nearly a dozen books in his arms, the arm of his glasses held firmly between his teeth, and a to-go cup of black coffee balanced precariously on top of the stack, he was an accident waiting to happen. He passed interns and desk agents coming and going as he headed to where he was told to meet his new boss, but it was only a matter of time before his adamancy in taking only one trip from his car came back to bite him.

If he had known there was a thick bundle of computer cables wired under the carpeted bullpen floor, he would’ve made it to his new desk without a single problem, but his scuffed Chuck Taylor’s immediately caught the bump of wires and before he knew it books were tumbling to the ground and his full cup of coffee had emptied itself all over…a very attractive man.

Fuck.

His glasses were in his lap, thankfully unbroken, but he hastily put them on only for the blurry man above him to get somehow more handsome.

As if the situation couldn’t get any more humiliating, his face went bright red and he fumbled trying to collect everything off the floor.

“Hey, hey, slow down kid,” the man spoke, making Spencer freeze on his knees, looking back up. “You okay?”

He was certain his heart was seconds away from beating out of his chest.

“Me? I…I’m the one that just spilled hot coffee all over your shirt,” he laughed nervously, wanting to melt into the floor and disappear forever. “I’m so sorry-“

The man laughed and somehow even his teeth were perfect when he smiled.

“Don’t worry about it, pretty boy. One of the benefits of this job is carrying spare clothes around in case we end up skipping town,” the man smirked, picking up some of the scattered books and stacking them up on a nearby desk. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

Spencer shook his head, still blushing as he felt multiple sets of eyes on him from around the room. He just hoped none of them belonged to his new boss.

“Good, well, I’ll take these for you if you’ll show me where your desk is,” he offered, a dark coffee stain still clear as day in the middle of his navy blue shirt.

Spencer followed uncomfortably behind him before pointing to an empty desk in the corner of the bullpen opposite another desk with a fair spread of files and picture frames adorning it.

“No kidding,” the man chuckled, dropping the stack of books on the desk. “I guess we’re desk neighbors, pretty boy.”

Spencer choked, coughing until he regained his composure as his handsome apparent-coworker pounded on his back to help him.

“Thank you,” he choked out, his throat still groggy. “I…I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”

The man’s casual smile dropped and he took on a serious look.

“What do you mean?”

Spencer fiddled with the buttons on his cuffs, thoroughly embarrassed enough for one lifetime.

“I mean that I just spilled coffee all over you and humiliated myself on my first day and…and I clearly don’t belong here if I can’t even make it an hour before causing a disaster, but you’re just so…so nice and historically, guys like you are never nice to guys like me, but you are! And…and I can’t possibly fit in here, I don’t know what Gideon was thinking-”

“Hold up, Jason Gideon? Holy shit, you’re the one he’s been telling us about!” He looked like he was completely gobsmacked, looking Spencer up and down multiple times to the point where the younger man was getting concerned.

“I guess so…?” He explained shyly. “Why, did he not tell you I was twenty-two?”

The other man rubbed the back of his neck and glanced down at his shoes.

“No, no it’s not that it’s...,” he paused, smiling as if he was nervous. “It’s just that I was going to ask you out before I knew we were would be working together.”

Spencer did a double-take and just…stared.

“You…w-what?”

His older counterpart smiled.

“I know it’s technically against the rules but…I would love to take you to get a replacement coffee sometime,” he smirked, leaning up against Spencer’s desk. “What do ya’ say, pretty boy?”

Reid definitely wasn’t any more prepared for the nickname than he was before, but somehow when it followed an invitation for a date, it felt more genuine.

Not that he had ever been asked out before, and especially not by anyone as attractive as the man in front of him.

“I-I don’t even know your name,” he mumbled, desperate for any excuse.

“Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan, at your service,” he grinned, reaching forward to grip the short length of necktie that poked out from underneath Spencer’s sweater vest. “And you are?”

His heart was beating so fast and his head was spinning so dizzyingly that he almost didn’t register the response until it hit him hard.

Derek Morgan.

Fuck, even his name was sexy.

He flushed bright red at the even closer contact and how closely their faces were. Surely Derek wouldn’t do anything in the middle of the office but…but something told him the other man didn’t much care.

“D-Dr. Spencer Reid,” he stumbled, barely getting the words out of his mouth in what was more of a breathy whisper. He nearly blocked out everyone else in the room as his eyes just latched onto Derek’s and refused to look away. “And…I would love to get coffee with you, but I’m paying. Since, you know, I probably just gave you at least a second-degree burn from the last one.”

The beautiful man—Derek, his brain supplied—laughed heartily, his deep brown eyes crinkling at the corners as he reluctantly let go of Spencer’s tie.

“You drive a hard bargain, Doc,” he teased, circling around to his desk only to pull out a small duffel bag from which he produced a light gray henley shirt. “How’s lunch today sound?”

Spencer smiled as the older man began walking backwards slowly, not looking away until he got his answer.

“You know where I’ll be,” he answered, pleasantly surprising himself with his own ability to be coy.

Derek shot him one last smirk before disappearing down the hallway and Spencer was left absolutely dumbfounded by the conversation he’d just had.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled under his breath, sliding off his satchel and depositing it on his desk chair before following the signs to where Agent Gideon’s office was located, as he had been instructed to stop by upon arrival.

His hands were shaking and his heart was still pounding and he was sure that Gideon was going to comment on how red he knew his face would still be, but he was practically floating on cloud nine as he sat down with his pseudo-mentor.

“Spencer, did something happen? You look…stressed,” the older profiler spoke as he stepped into the room. He shrugged in an attempt to be casual, not really wanting to discuss his romantic life with Gideon of all people. Especially when it involved someone they both worked with.

“No, nothing, I guess I’m just excited,” he lied through his teeth, hoping the man who studied behavior for a living and knew him like his own son couldn’t tell he was definitely blowing smoke.

“Right, well, if you’re ready now I can have JJ call the team in for the briefing and you can meet everyone,” Gideon explained and Spencer followed him out of the room and down the hall. He pulled out a chair around the large round table for the younger man to sit down and he moved to stand by a large screen to talk to a blonde woman who didn’t look too much older than he was. She smiled at him as she began pressing buttons on a remote and he gave a quick wave before the room filled with, what he assumed was the rest of the team. As he stood he immediately locked eyes with Derek again, who smirked and set down his files in front of the seat right beside Spencer’s.

“Alright, well as I told you all, this is Dr. Spencer Reid and he’ll be joining our team from now on. Spencer, this is Agent Hotchner, our unit chief, Elle Greenaway, Derek Morgan, our technical analyst Penelope Garcia, and our communications liaison Jennifer Jareau,” Gideon listed, despite the fact that they all could’ve introduced themselves, but he was met with a tight hug from Penelope before he could protest and awkwardly adjusted his clothing afterwards.

He smiled nonetheless and explained that he didn’t do handshakes to the rest of the team before they all filled up the seats around the table with Derek sitting so close that he couldn’t help but notice him in the corner of his eye.

“So, no handshakes?” The other man whispered in his ear as JJ passed around the folders of new case files to the team.

Spencer huffed a laugh under his breath.

“Well, I have a bit of an issue with germs. Did you know shaking hands can transfer over three thousand bacteria between parties? Scientifically speaking, it would be safer to kiss,” he rambled before freezing as he realized the implications of what he had just said.

“Oh, really? Strictly scientifically?” Derek teased, knocking their knees together under the table.

He knew Derek was looking at him but he felt a smirk creep onto his lips as he refused to give in and kept his eyes on the slides JJ was presenting.

“Strictly,” he smirked coyly.

As they all collected their things and took off on the jet, Spencer couldn’t help glancing up from his work every few minutes to sneak glances at Derek from across the plane. He was pleasantly surprised to find that Derek was almost always staring back. Seemingly none of the other team members noticed anything going on between them, or if they did, they graciously didn’t mention it.

It wasn’t long until they landed and made their way to the local police station, all expressing concern that the station’s coffee machine was broken until Derek spoke up before anyone could move on.

“Reid and I will go pick up some coffee and lunch for everyone, I think we passed a cafe just down the street. You go ahead and start here, we’ll be back in no time,” he offered, nudging Spencer with his elbow until the younger man followed him out the door and into one of the parked SUV’s. “So, does now work for you to take a quick coffee date?”

Spencer laughed, relaxing already as Derek pulled out of the parking lot.

“Now sounds perfect.”

[accendimi]

Are You Lonesome Tonight {Desrina}

TW: Binge Drinking, Drugs, Fade Out Sexy Times. Time: August 13-14th Weekend after the Swynlake Dream TL;DR: Sarina and DeSoto jet away for the weekend to get their heads out of the classic Swynlake bullshit. Being the little shits they are, they play a game that gets very real but let’s Sarina realize she has a family she never considered before.

Introducing Sarina Sykes.

We started this before the event and then realized the timing was perfect so the beginning doesn’t ref the event but just refer to the other Para.

Part One: I Need Your Love Tonight

@desotosykes

SARINA

It wasn’t a quick flight by any means but when you had the money and the motive things moved very quickly. It helped when you had a partner willing to partake in the mile high club to make things even a little more fun.

Because wouldn’t you believe Sarina had never been to Vegas. 

Lights, Sex, Fun in the Sun. It sounded like a fun time for the girl that didn’t have any gigs lined up for the week and with DeSoto by her side it sounded like a great time. 

At the moment they were bar hopping Sarina’s little black dress hiking up as they walked through the city her arms wrapped around DeSoto’s a blunt hanging from her lips.

“You know what would probably get us a few free drinks. A proposal.” 

DESOTO

As much fun as being in Swynlake with one of his favorite partners-in-crime was, DeSoto craved time away from the not so often sleepy town. He’d had his fill of wacky Swynlake bullshit so when Sarina had mentioned the idea of a getaway, he was more than on board. Her idea of Vegas only solidified that notion.

More than a few drinks in and the eldest Sykes brother was feeling all sorts of good. He had his own arm wrapped around Sarina as he plucked the joint from between her lips and took a long drag of his own. “Probably get us more than a few,” he snickered as he stumbled just so slightly. Money clearly wasn’t a problem for them, DeSoto was more than willing to spend his money on Sarina and this little getaway. But fucking with people that had no clue who they were? That would never get old.

“Figure I can give yous this t’make it look real.” He gestured to his free hand where he wore the ring he stole from his father way too many years ago. Taking another long drag from the joint, he handed it back to Sarina with a smirk. “Guess dinner’s about t’be interesting, ain’t? Ham it up maybe even get dessert free too.”

SARINA

Sarina took the blunt with no argument bringing it to her lips. She missed nights like this. Towns like Swynlake were impossible to mess with (at least in this regard) too small and everyone thought they knew everything. DeSoto and Sarina getting hitched. No one would bat an eye. But here where they just looked like a smoking hot couple. It was perfect.

They looked like a power couple honestly.

"Now now Des you're truly going to steal my heart if I get a ring that you wear every day." With the blunt between her fingers Sarina set her hand over her heart with a wink before handing it back to him.

"Then we truly need to go somewhere expensive. Make it a show they won't soon forget. What do you think about Joël Robuchon?"

DESOTO

When he’d been much younger and, arguably, a little more dumber than he currently could be considered, DeSoto Sykes was a ladies man. He still was a ladies man but he didn’t sleep around as much as he did when he was younger. All that to say that he definitely knew how to steal hearts and break them. It wasn’t his fault that he was such a charmer or that girls were typically entirely too romantic for their own good.

Still, he returned the wink after taking a drag of the blunt with a smirk. “You mean I didn’t already have your heart to begin with? Guess yous really are just keepin’ me around for my looks.” He teased her, fully knowing that neither of them were in this for emotions. At least nothing as substantial as romance and love. 

Even if they currently looked like they were a couple and acted like one.

“Joel Robuchon? Fancy. Yous gotta play the part of clueless while I talk to ‘em. Think yous can handle it?”

SARINA

“Well they aren’t bad looks, now are they? I could be keeping you around for the money which would you prefer?” Sarina’s heels clicked with them moving and she knew both of them were getting looks in the best way. Well in a way both of them liked.

“Don’t worry I’ll put on my best blonde impression and they’ll know nothing. They won’t even know we’re a few drinks in and looking to have some fun. I’ll look the ever loving girlfriend.”

DESOTO

If he was honest? DeSoto didn’t really give a shit either way. The man grew up with probably the world’s shittiest dad. Someone who made sure his kids knew, especially as they got older, that he only kept them around because they were good at their jobs within the family business. A trait that definitely transferred over to DeSoto. He was just… less vocal about it. 

But this wasn’t a therapy session. It was a trip to Vegas with, arguably, one of his best friends. And he had a good buzz on just like she did and they were being their usual shit head selves with each other. 

“Both’a us know it ain’t the money, babe,” he smirked with a slight pinch to her arm. “But it ain’t matter. S’long as I get t’spend time with you.” He tried his best to keep a straight face; a feat that was just a bit harder than usual with the drinks and drugs currently in his system. “C’mon. Ain’t that far away.”

SARINA

Sarina placed her free hand over her heart looking up at DeSoto as if she was completely swooning over the very thought. And it was sweet and Sarina recognized she had made great connections since being here and that would mean everything to her.

But beyond the impending proposal they didn’t need to be sappier.

Walking into the restaurant Sarina bounded up to the hostess glancing at the reservations with a quick glance.

“Hi I’m so sorry we’re a little earlier than expected but we have a reservation in about an hour under the name ‘Thompson’.” Sarina grinned brightly at the hostess, memorizing the information to call and cancel this little Thompson reservation and send them on a little goose chase to make sure her and Des had all the time they needed.

“Oh hello Ms. Thompson, let me see what I can do and if I can get you two in.” The hostess slipped away and Sarina smiled at Des. 

“Let me go cancel the reservation for those two and you let me know where we’re sitting.” Sarina popped up on her toes to kiss DeSoto on the cheek as the hostess came back.

“Sorry business call I’ll be right back. I’ll be one second love. Business deals just can’t get done without me.” Sarina tacked on with a pretend sigh.

DESOTO

It took all of DeSoto’s willpower not to smirk as Sarina sweet talked the hostess with the most endearing smile. Really, the hostess made it all too easy to take advantage of the system. Instead of smirking, however, he just grinned as he wrapped an arm around Sarina’s waist and pressed a quick kiss to her temple. “I’ll be here waiting, darling.” 

That smile stayed on his lips as Sarina flitted away, phone pressed to her ear. Really, he could have very easily gotten them a seat without such a fuss but, well, where was the fun in that?

Turning back to the hostess, he pulled his hand from his pocket and showed her the ring that typically sat on his right hand. “We’re high school sweethearts, yous know. Been together a long time.” He watched with an inward smirk as he saw the hostess’ features soften even more than they had been. “We were waiting to have a stable income and all to get married but then… her ma got sick so it kinda put us back. This is the first vacation we’ve had in a few years and I figured now would be the best time t’ask. Yous think yous could help me do somethin’ real special for her? Make it a night she won’t forget?”

SARINA

The hostess did melt as she looked at the ring and then out at the girl who had left. What a sweet pair and gorgeous too. She couldn’t imagine they didn’t come from money considering how they were dressed but the mention of a sick mother and just, oh she could see it happening.

The pair against the world, finally getting a stable income. Only for her mother to fall sick. They take care of her and maybe she passes, maybe the mother tells them to go on and enjoy their life. 

And that ring was most definitely a family ring.

“Of course. We should be able to celebrate with a bottle and a dessert. I’ll look into it for you as soon as we sit you down.” 

All the while Sarina was outside waiting the time out. But then she saw the familiar glint of a ring, one that she thought DeSoto might like. Now it wasn’t as fancy as his family ring but it would be a nice touch if needed.

Turning her ankle slightly Sarina pretended to stumbled into the guy laughing and giggling, drunk off her ass. “I’m sorry,” She giggled. “Or am I you’re cute.” With one hand going up to his cheek the other took the hand that was steadying her and slipped off his ring. As he reassured it was okay she brought her hand to her chest slipping the ring into her bra.

“You should find me later. If you do I’m sure we’ll have a good time.” Kissing his cheek, Sarina stumbled into an hidden corner to wait him and the waitress out and when the coast was clear she strolled back in palming the ring into her clutch as she wrapped an arm around DeSoto smiling brilliantly at the woman as they were led in. 

“You’re in luck we have the best table reserved for you. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your visit with us.” Seating them the hostess all but ran off and Sarina raised an eyebrow. 

“What’s our sob story?”

DESOTO

It was easy for DeSoto and Sarina to follow the woman as she led them to a rather impressive table. Secluded and candle lit. Entirely too romantic for the two of them but perfect for a couple about to get engaged. He thanked the lady as she walked away and then gave Sarina a shit eating grin. 

“High school sweethearts,” he explained with a roll of his eyes. “But your mom got sick so it set us back a bit. I’m proposing tonight since it’s our first vacation in years.” It wasn’t the most inventive lie but it worked on the sap of a hostess and would work on the rest of the idiots working the restaurant. 

When the waitress came over, Des didn’t have to even ask for a bottle of wine. “The finest wine on the menu, on the house.” A subtle wink was offered to DeSoto as the waitress poured two glasses and then set the bottle down in a small bucket of ice. “I’ll give you time to look through the menu. If you need anything just wave one of us over and we’ll be glad to help you.” 

Des nodded with a smile as he took Sarina’s hand gently. “Thank yous. We’ll call if we need anything.” Turning back to Sarina once the waitress was gone, Des smirked. “Pick what yous want. M’sure the whole meal’s gonna be comped. Shit. Could probably get a swank hotel room if we’s play our cards right.” 

SARINA

Sarina brushed her hair back giving both Des a show and she knew some other boys were looking too. It was cute as they tried not to having been on dates with their own significant others. 

“That’s easy enough to remember then again we won’t need it after the night.” It would be even funnier if it dropped and they tried to run them out. Both Des and Sarina could get out without a second thought. 

“Then let’s do their fancy four course whatever it is. Let them treat us. Honestly how do businesses stay in business and be this gullible.”

DESOTO

If DeSoto were a more possessive man, he’d be pissed at all the looks Sarina was getting. But he wasn’t possessive and he was getting the same sort of looks from those boys’ girlfriends. It was fun seeing the looks of longing. As if somehow in some different universe, DeSoto would be a good boyfriend and Sarina would make a good girlfriend. It made him want to laugh, though all he did was smirk as Sarina gave her own little show to those around them.

“Dunno. Works in our favor, though, ain’t?” He smirked before laughing. It was probably because they were soft. Emotional. They lived for these kinds of things. Engagements and anniversaries. Anything to celebrate. But who needed a special day to celebrate? Hell, he’d gotten tickets for them to Vegas just for the hell of it. Sarina hadn’t been and Des hadn’t had anything super important to do, so why not?

Calling the waitress back over, he grinned when he told her they’d like to have the four course meal, complete with the best dessert. And of course, he’d be more than willing to pay for their meal.

SARINA

The meal was fabulous, it wasn’t outside of Sarina’s budget, she liked to steal high value so she could live high value. But it was nice to share a fun time of mocking the employees with someone. At least she could always trust Des with that.

And he wasn’t wrong throughout the whole meal they played into the emotional card. Every once in awhile Sarina would look up at Des with those eyes full of wonder and amazement. She would reach out and just tuck a strand of hair back up and away from those beautiful eyes.

“You spoil me love.” Sarina knowing she was within ear shot as their dessert was delivered. “Better late than never and it was well worth the wait.”

DESOTO

The waitress had given DeSoto a small warning when they were about to bring out the dessert and Des easily excused himself so that he could slip his ring off of his finger and give it to the waitress to hide in their dessert. 

Oh was the restaurant about to get the best show of their lives. 

“You deserve the world, dearest.” He smiled back as their dessert was set in front of them. As expected his ring was nestled on top of the rather decadent looking cheesecake. All he had to do was wait for Sarina to notice for the real fun to begin. 

Before she was able to really put on the show, Des rose from his seat so that he could kneel down next to her chair. 

“This…. Shouldn’t be any surprise… You’ve been the love of my life since we were fifteen. And I’ve known you were the woman I was gonna spend the rest of my life with since I was sixteen.” He paused as he wiped a fake tear from his eye before taking his hand in hers. “I know things ain’t…. Ideal but why wait anymore? Marry me?”

SARINA

Sarina spotted the ring easily but took a moment to really spice it up her eyes widening as she looked between the dessert and DeSoto, back again until he got up and got on one knee. With on hand in his Sarina lifted her other hand to cover her lips and then when a fake tear rolled she lifted that hand as if to fan the tear away.

Nodding her head, Sarina fell into his arms taking his face in her hands to kiss him.

“Yes yes yes.” She repeated when she pulled away resting her forehead on hers. “I’d marry you this second if I could. I love you.” 

DESOTO

Sarina was good. If he was on the outside looking in he’d definitely think this was a real proposal. The way she teared up and fell into his arms? Perfect. It made it all too easy, really. 

One arm wrapped around her while the other cupped her cheek gently as he kissed her back, the smile not leaving his lips as their foreheads pressed together. He kissed her again before taking her hand in his and slipping his ring onto her finger. 

An idea formed then and he couldn’t help the slight smirk that formed on his lips. Why not see just how far they could take this? They were in Vegas after all (and entirely too fucked up to be making decisions). 

“Let’s get married then. Right now,” he huffed out before pressing another kiss to her lips. “I’m sure there’s a chapel close by. We can do a big wedding later.”

SARINA

The ring slipped onto her finger and Sarina admired it, and that was actually true. She could only imagine the stories behind this ring and what exactly Des had done while wearing it. 

“Wait- Wait-” Sarina gasped out for a breath, pretending to be overwhelmed for the crowd and it was a crowd, their hostess, the waitress, even who she suspected was the manager. “I- well I got you something too.” Reaching out without leaving his arms Sarina grabbed her clutch pulling it toward her looking like she was stumbling but careful to hide any of the cigarettes and worse that she had in there.

Pulling out the ring that she had stolen earlier she held it up to him. “My mom gave it to me when she passed. It was the one she got my dad for their engagement. I’ve been carrying it with me since. So yes, let’s get married. I don’t think I could wait any longer.” The sad thing about that was Sarina actually did have her parents wedding rings. At this point they were locked up safe but she wasn’t about to leave that with her brothers. 

The awes could be heard throughout the restaurant, and Sarina spied the waitress talking to the manager and him nodding. The show was good enough wasn’t it. What great publicity, and a story to tell everyone.

“Go, we’ll box up the dessert. Get married. You two have been waiting long enough.” The waitress whispered coming up to them and Sarina looked up at DeSoto with a smile.

“Let’s go get married.” And while she had tears in her eyes and she was pretending to be breathless she knew he saw the amusement in her eyes.

DESOTO

The show was going so well. Everyone in the restaurant truly believed what he and Sarina were saying. They were the only ones in on the joke and it was so hard to keep from losing his shit laughing. Neither were sincere at all. But, at their core, they were con artists. The best, it seemed. 

Still, Des wrapped his arms around Sarina and held her close as she looked up at him. “Alright, love. M’sure we’s can find someone t’marry us. Can make this part of our honeymoon.” Smiling softly at her, he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips while everyone around them cooed at their little display. 

At the behest of the waitress and her boss, Des stood and reached for Sarina’s hand. He was not gonna pass up the chance to get out without having to pay a bill. Even if he could afford it, they were doing #themost just for the hell of it. 

As soon as they were out the door, he shifted to wrap an arm around Sarina’s shoulders and laughed. “Yous sure yous weren’t an actress before? They was eatin’ outta our hands,” he chuckled. “Where’d yous even get that ring from?”

SARINA

Sarina moved to wipe the tears from her eyes with a grin. “Maybe I was but then I actually had to listen to direction and that sounds like a bad time.” Hopefully all Sarina’s past lives were this exciting, and hopefully all her future ones would too.

After all. Die Young. Have Fun.

“When I stepped out to make that call it was fate, this guy had a ring that I thought you might like. I might have invited him to play later but I doubt he’ll be able to find me. Though with your possessive streak it might just make the night hotter when we do have our honeymoon.” Sarina teased. Spotting a club with a line out the door.

“Think we could get in? And keep the party going?”

DESOTO

It was easy to follow Sarina’s line of sight when the line was as long as it was. He hadn’t seen a line for a club that long since he’d been in New York. Of course, he’d never had to wait in a line that long before. All he had to do was give his name and he was in with whoever he wanted. He knew it’d be no different now, too; though he wouldn’t give his name, just flash that pretty family ring on his lovely partner’s finger.

“Course we can get in,” he huffed. “Look at us. And with yous layin’ that charm on? We’s in without a problem.” 

Moving past the line, all while eyeing the people lined up and waiting, Des tucked Sarina closer and put on the same dopey grin he’d had at the restaurant. “Might as well figure out who’s you want t’share before we reach the door.” 

He smirked as he pressed his lips to her cheeks as a cover to why he was so close to her. It only added to the image they were playing with. The naked eye would see only an intoxicated and in love couple. Not two devious masterminds plotting their next bit of fun. 

“Hey, man… my fiancée’s been dyin’ t’get into this club all night. Said it was the best place t’celebrate n’shit. Yous think you can help us out?” He gave his best hopelessly in love look to Sarina before turning back to the bouncer at the front. “We’ll make it worth your while, aint?”

SARINA

It wasn’t hard to fall into the roll again, the doting and absolutely in love fiancée. Even as her eyes trailed over all the people in line. If any of them could handle her and DeSoto together. Smiling up at Des, Sarina slowly turned her eyes to the Bouncer who looked less than impressed.

“Lots of people want to get in, you two will have to go back to the end of the line like everyone else.”

“Baby do you hear that? Like everyone else. We’re not just everyone else? And he even promised to make it worth your while. Something no one here would have the means to do.” Sarina whined a little bit, like a spoiled little rich girl who expected to get her way.

“What’s the offer then?” The Bouncer asked glancing around quickly before returning to an unamused expression.

DESOTO

It was… beyond irritating that this guy wasn’t buying any of the bribes. It made him wish he’d taken her to New York; even if that was an insanely stupid idea. At least then he wouldn’t have to work so damn hard to get into clubs that probably were subpar at best. 

But he didn’t let that show. Instead he gave a sheepish grin as he pulled Sarina closer. “Well, for starters money clearly isn’t an issue here. Unless… yous lookin’ for somethin’ else. More… fun.” He smirked as he pulled his other hand from his pocket. 

The little baggie he revealed contained a good variety of pills. Mostly uppers that were only going to enhance their night. Party favors, really. They were celebrating after all.

“Or if that’s not your bag. Well, m’sure my fiancée could have some fun with yous. She’s amazing in the sack.”

SARINA

Well slow down there Dez. Sarina turned her attention to him with a raised eyebrow. Now would she have some fun with him. Potentially. Did she like being pimped out. Not at all.

“Only if I think you’re worth my time you’re better off taking the party favours.” Sarina instead stated as the man did look over the bag, Sarina had no idea what Des had in there but it was all good stuff she was sure and it looked like the man was actually considering it.

“Fine, you guys can go in. This stuff better be the good ones, Or I’ll drag your ass out myself.” 

With him stepping aside to let them in, Sarina poked at Des’ chest. “No pimping me out again. Even if he’s hot. You can have him for yourself if you really want to.”

DESOTO

Was it his brightest idea? Not at all. He’d had worse but he was only focused on the goal. Getting into the club. Which they did. So technically he was going to count it as a win. Which was the reason why even though Sarina poked him not so gently and offered that warning, he still smirked. “Hey, got us in, aint? And yous ain’t hafta to do nothin’ except look a little mean.” 

He slung an arm around her as they moved further into the club. They definitely picked a good one. The music was hot, bodies packed the dance floor, and everyone looked like they were ready for a good time. Drink girls were walking around scantily clad and Des took no time in grabbing two drinks. “Consider it my first apology of the night for attempting t’pimp yous out,” he grinned as he handed one of the shots to Sarina. Clinking their glasses together, he took his shot easily and deposited the empty glass onto another drink girl’s tray. 

Scouting the place out it wasn’t hard to find where the life of the party was. It was a large group, a mix of guys and girls that were already pretty inebriated and loud. Perfect for what Des and Sarina had in mind. “Think we found our new suckers. Ain’t gonna hafta spend a dime tonight. Ready t’lay on the charm?”

SARINA

Sarina rolled her eyes when she took the drink. Irritating bugger, but she did like the thought of multiple apologies throughout the night. She would give him a pass for now and only now.

Glancing over the group Sarina grinned throwing her hair over her shoulder and nodding. “Got any extra party favours in there for us?” Sarina questioned with a grin before they joined the group.

And DeSoto hadn’t been wrong in his assumption, people kept calling for shots whenever they saw the ring and heard the sob story. Forgetting it and being reminded again and calling for more shots. That paired with whatever DeSoto had provided, Sarina was on a nice cloud.

“You guys should get married right now! Why wait!” One of the girls screeched out. “There’s so many places to get married. We can all come and be your witnesses. OMG we could find you some sexy lingerie as a wedding gift. It could be your something new!”

While the screeching was unpleasant the story had been repeated so many times the you know why not? Go with the flow. Really seal the deal.

“We could get married right now. They are right.” Sarina slurred just a bit throwing her arms around his shoulders as she kissed his neck. “Have a wicked honeymoon with the gifted lingerie.”

DESOTO

The party was beyond pumping. Their little group was the life of the party. People gathered around them like they were honey and Des loved it. The girls crowded around Sarina, all squealing and giggling and screeching, while the boys congregated with DeSoto offering congratulations and lewd comments about his partner. The drinks didn’t stop flowing and every once in a while a party favor would appear from DeSoto’s pocket. 

Best to keep the party going. 

He was feeling good, the mix of alcohol and drugs flowing through his system freely, and had an arm draped around Sarina’s waist. They’d just finished another (free) round of drinks and he’d made the decision to endure the screaming and screeching girls for it. Even laughed as they suggested getting married right then. 

“Mmm, think we’s already havin’ a wicked time,” he grinned as he raised a hand to lift her chin up to kiss her. “But yous wanna get married? Let’s do it. Always wanted t’get married by Elvis.”

SARINA

They were having an wicked time but suddenly it just seemed like a good idea to get married. Why not? It was all for fun and they had been swinging that story around all night, it sounded better and better the more they talked about it.

“How else would I get married? I’m not a walk down the aisle in white type of bride.” Sarina stated easily, it was true. Sarina had never thought of it for herself. She hadn’t ever like the idea of getting married, being locked down into a family that would shackle her to the ground.

But now it felt like a good idea, a fun idea. Why not was the overall response.

“Why not?” 

With all that as confirmation the girls tugged on Sarina. “We’re getting her a dress. Boys go get him a suit We’ll text you where to meet and the next time you see each other you’re going to be getting married.” Another screech. And god Sarina was sure her ears would burst.

DESOTO

Everything was happening in even more of a blur. While the beginning of the evening was still pretty clear, Des was losing coherency bit by bit. Not that it mattered. This was supposed to be a fun trip, a trip where he got to have fun and fuck with other people with one of his favorite people. And that’s what they were doing. 

And also getting married but whatever. 

Before he even had a chance to question it his newfound friends were dragging him away from Sarina and out of the club. “Man we gotta get you something awesome for your wedding! It’s Vegas bro! Gotta go big!” One of the men clapped him on the back before jumping up excitedly as they walked down the street. Des couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head. “S’a Vegas wedding. Gotta be ridiculous, aint? Gotta find somethin’ cheesy as fuck. My girl’ll appreciate it. Trust me.” 

They made their way into a suit shop that looked promising. It was filled with designer suits that, if he wasn’t high as hell, he’d buy. But that wasn’t what he was looking for. No. If Desoto was getting married in Vegas he was gonna get married in the worst fashion he could think of. Which alternatively meant it was the best fashion. Everyone knew Vegas had its own culture, it’s own ideas of what true fashion was. 

And why not emulate the best of them?

He saw it in the back and knew immediately that whatever the cost he was gonna buy it. It looked exactly like something the King would wear and tonight? DeSoto was the King. 

“Alright boys. Target acquired. Gotta get yous some ridiculous accessories and then we’d good t’go.” He grinned as he draped the suit bag over his shoulder and headed towards the wedding chapel. 

SARINA

The girls were on two trips one to get a dress and two to get what went underneath. And Sarina had no problem modeling or stripping in front of them. And while they did stay with the traditional white, it had a high slit and a deep back. Sometimes it felt lucky that it even stayed up.

But that’s what Sarina wanted and paired some sexy lingerie the girl was set.

Sarina truly couldn’t remember how they got from there to the chapel but she was standing in front of it, her other outfit forgotten somewhere but it didn’t matter considering the things she did consider important were the jewelery she kept from her family. 

But now music was playing (she didn’t know what) And her and Des were being summoned down the aisle while all these random people watched.

DESOTO

As usual, Sarina looked absolutely gorgeous. It took all of his power to keep his hands off of her because with everything running through his system all he wanted to do was strip that dress off of her. But there were more important things they had to do. Like meet Elvis. 

The man had just finished crooning Teddy Bear when they reached the end of the aisle where Sarina’s new girlfriends and DeSoto’s new guy friends were waiting for them. Standing in his spot, Des grinned as he took Sarina’s hands in his. 

“Alright, alright. We’re gathered here today in this house of love to wed these hunk’a hunk’a burnin’ loves,” Elvis started, swiveling his hips in a near perfect imitation of The King. “If there’s any suspicious minds out there thinkin’ these two need to go to the hearbreak hotel say your peace. It’s now or never.” 

With no one saying anything, Elvis returned his attention back to Sarina and DeSoto. “So tell me my little hound dogs. Do you take this groovy lil mama to be your lawfully wedded wife?” Des smirked as he nodded. “Course I do.” 

SARINA

Sarina hadn’t actually noticed it before, her music taste wasn’t exactly Elvis after all. But now seeing DeSoto and Elvis side by side she was having a hard enough time keeping the laughter at bay.

Especially for something that was supposed to be as serious as wedding. But she had way too much in her system to worry about that. 

“And you do you take this hound dog to and promise to love him tender love him sweet?” Elvis turned his attention to her and Sarina had to quiet her giggles to respond.

“Of course I do.” That’s why they were here after all.

“Now with those good luck charms on your fingers already, it proves you just need one night to get stuck on each other forever. I pronounce you Husband and Wife! You may kiss your bride!”

DESOTO

DeSoto didn’t waste any time as Elvis said he could kiss his bride. He wrapped an arm around Sarina’s waist and pulled her close, even went as far as dipping her as he kissed her deeply. He’d never had a thought of getting married. Hell, Roscoe constantly teased him about the fact he hadn’t settled down. But at the moment this felt right. Very right. 

At least that’s what his heavily intoxicated brain was telling him. 

The group that came with them whooped and cheered before running over to congratulate them. Des laughed, keeping his arms wrapped around Sarina. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks guys,” Des chuckled, pressing a kiss to Sarina’s temple. “But, uh, me and my wife have a little less conversation planned, if yous know what I mean.” Wiggling his eyebrows he pulled himself and Sarina away from the group. 

“Go have fun and celebrate for us,” he smirked, tossing them a baggie of assorted pills and some cash. The least he could do for all the help they’d been. “Me and my lady are gonna go have a private celebration.” 

SARINA

Sarina laughed as Des dipped and kissed her. Phones went off and in theory that was a good thing because there was no way they would remember this in the morning. But Sarina didn’t care about details like that. 

No she was much more excited about the private celebration they were about to have. And where. And with DeSoto’s gift she was sure the group was more concerned about their own private celebration as well.

Splitting up from that group, it wasn’t hard to walk into a fancy hotel and get a honeymoon Suite. Even plastered as they were, they were smart (debatable considering they just got married) and could handle themselves (Again debatable).

But Sarina was having fun so she didn’t care, Tugging DeSoto into the elevator, Sarina didn’t waste anymore time dragging Des into her and kissing him, setting his hand by the silt on her dress.

DESOTO

DeSoto easily anticipated Sarina’s attack in the elevator. They’d been behaving all night. Keeping their hands mostly to themselves in lieu of their little game. It made it all the more interesting, he felt. Built up the tension for when they finally decided to call it quits. 

Tension that Sarina couldn’t handle by the time they got to the elevator. But neither could DeSoto. He responded eagerly, fingers curling in the hair at the nape of her neck as his other hand slipped up her leg using the slit there as access to push the dress farther up. 

“We’s gonna get kicked out puttin’ on a show like this,” he huffed against her lips as the elevator dinged with each floor. It didn’t stop him, however, from resting both hands on her hips and squeezing. 

SARINA

“We’re newly married, do they really think we can keep our hands to ourselves.” Sarina joked just as breathless against her lips. Her accent back to it’s normal Italian, having lost focus hours ago to keep it at the English one.

“I bet you anyone watching is just enjoying the free show. We could make it a good one for them if we would like.” Further and higher the dings went. Especially because Sarina didn’t want to stop.

DESOTO

“Only if yous want to, my hunk’a hunk’a burnin’ love,” he huffed, shifting his grip so that he could lift her easily. Wrapping her legs around his waist he moved to kiss her again while he shifted to push her against the back wall of the elevator.

The dings went ignored as he took his time working Sarina up. It was his favorite thing to do considering most of the time she gave as good as she got. 

“Ahem…” a voice interrupted him and made him groan just slightly from where he’d been nipping at Sarina’s neck. Turning just slightly to the intruder, Des raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, we’s celebratin’.” A fake apology for an annoying person who definitely muttered something under their breath. Des didn’t care though. Not when they were close to their room and the real fun could begin. 

SARINA

Sarina pouted when DeSoto stopped, tightening her grip around his waist to bring his attention back to her. “You know we just got married you should be congratulating us.” Sarina added waving and wiggling her fingers in the direction of the other eventually just giving them the middle finger when they muttered under their breath.

But honestly it was a surprise Sarina hadn’t accidentally given any sort of slip, then again Des at her waist his chest against hers, she was pretty secure.

Either way Sarina drew him back in until the other got off and they continued to rise to their floor.

DESOTO

By the time they got to their floor, DeSoto was more than ready to be off of the elevator. There was so much pent up energy coursing through him that he could barely contain himself on the elevator. Whoever was watching from the lobby got quite the show as he and Sarina groped and grabbed at each other, both barely keeping the rating below X-rated. 

The show continued in the hallway as he stopped every few feet to push her against the wall as if showing her what was coming once they got into the room. He couldn’t stop touching her, didn’t want to. 

Finally pushing the door to the suite open, Des fumbled in closing it behind them as he pulled Sarina closer once more and kissed her deeply. “I think it’s time we got outta this. Someone promised sexy lingerie and I wanna tear it off yous.” 

SARINA

“Feel free to tear any of it off. I don’t hold any sentimental attachment to it.” As long as her family ring and now Des’ ring on her stayed safe, Sarina didn’t care. “Though you’ll have to buy me clothes in the morning. Not really sure where the dress I came here with ended up.” Trying to think back on the night they just had was nearly impossible. 

Dropping her legs from his waist Sarina pulled away so she could start sliding it down.

“Unless you want a show of course.” 

DESOTO

Des grinned as Sarina pulled away from him even though he missed the heat of her body. This was his favorite thing about mixing all his vices. Everything was heightened and he could never get close enough to whoever he shared the night with. It didn’t matter if he didn’t remember it in the morning. All he cared about was the moment they were in, satisfying every craving he and his partner had. Now, it was whatever craving he and his wife had. 

“We’s can probably get somethin’ from the gift shop n’then do a proper shopping trip for clothes. Think I’d be dumb as fuck t’say no t’a show from yous,” he smirked as he took off his ridiculous scarf/sash and undid his shirt to let it hang open. “Show me what yous got.” 

Moving to grab a chair, he sat in it and placed a hand in his lap all but waiting for Sarina to start whatever show she was going to put on for him.

SARINA

Sarina laughed and giggled and overall just let her guard down, not only was she with one of her best friends, and could now call her Husband. (Weird yes) But she was having fun, coming down off this one wasn’t going to be as fun though.

Until then Sarina promised a show.

Travelling her hand up her thigh slowly Sarina gave him the briefest glance at the red she wore underneath and the thin strings that connected it.

Turning her back to him Sarina brought her hair to the front slowly letting the dress fall and kicking it aside. Finally she turned to face him all the little straps connecting the top and bottom and yet none of it showed from behind.

Brushing her hair back Sarina grinned sitting on his lap. “It wouldn’t be fun if you couldn’t touch as I pulled the rest off.” 

DESOTO

There was something… different about this time with Sarina. His feelings about her were still the same (even if they had recently gotten married) but there was something between the two that had changed. Or at least that was how DeSoto felt at the moment. Who knew if it was just the drugs and alcohol or if there was some truth to the way he was currently feeling. 

All that mattered was Sarina in his lap with the sexiest lingerie he’d probably ever seen. 

His hands traveled to her hips while he took in how little she wore and how well she wore it. “How’d yous know I liked red?” He teased, pulling lightly at one of the strings before letting it go so the he could trail that hand up her side. 

SARINA

“Who doesn’t like red?” Sarina teased reaching back to unhook her bra almost completely bare to him and yet he was still dressed in the ridiculous get up. Pulling away once more Sarina stepped out of the rest and walking to the bed. 

“You can join me but you should match me first in what you’re wearing and only then will you be welcomed in this bed.”

DESOTO

“Insane people probably,” he responded easily, though was quickly side tracked as she slipped the bra off. After that all train of thought left him and all he could do was work off of instinct. As she got up he followed her, making sure to get rid of his Elvis outfit in the process. No way was he going to jeopardize this night by insisting his outfit was perfectly suitable for joining her. 

~~~~

Sunlight peaked in front the slightly open curtain and DeSoto couldn’t help the low groan that fell from his lips. His head was throbbing and the direct sunlight, no matter how slight it was, was not helping anything. Rolling over, another low groan left him. His body was sore but in a familiar way, a not unpleasant way. Just unexpected. 

The details from the previous night were fuzzy as hell and as he reached to close the curtains more completely he frowned. His ring was gone. Turning back to look in his clothes, his frown deepened when he saw an overly flamboyant Elvis impersonator suit instead of the black one he’d been wearing when they touched down. 

“What the fuck?” He swore lowly as he wandered around the rather large room, only taking notice of Sarina curled up in the bed he’d all but fallen from. “Hey… ‘Rina, wake up.”  

SARINA

Sarina didn’t want to wake up everything hurt, her head most of all and her throat beyond dry. Even at Des’ voice she yawned and buried her head back into the pillow. At least it wasn’t another Swynlake dream.

Slowly she peeked at him with one eye open and one closed as she yawned.

They were in a room and it was just them, nothing to really write home about yet. “What’s up? Did you wanna get food or something.” the more she moved the more she felt the weight of her rings differently. Weird.

DESOTO

This wasn’t anything different for one of their romps. So he wasn’t exactly panicking. He just… wanted to know where his ring was and… and why he was wearing a completely different ring. On the wrong hand. What in the actual fuck had happened last night? 

“Nah… yous ain’t seen my ring, aint? I ain’t gamble it away or trade it for this thing?” He asked as he took off the new ring and showed it to her. “Yous ain’t think I did somethin’ stupid with it after we left the restaurant?”

Was it dumb that he was upset about losing his father’s ring? Yeah. Probably. Especially since his dad was a complete piece of shit that would kill him on the spot if given the chance. But it still held sentimental value to DeSoto. Was still the one thing he wanted to keep from his bullshit family. (Other than his brother of course but that went without saying)

“D’yous even remember anything after we went t’the club?”

SARINA

The concern in Des’ voice actually had Sarina sitting up grabbing the blanket to cover herself a little bit. “No I don’t really remember anything about the club.” Sarina lifted her left hand to rub the sleep from her eyes pausing at the weight. Instead she held it out infront of her blinking at Des’ ring on her ring finger.

“Well I guess this solves that question.” Sarina held her hand up so he could see the ring was at least in the room with them and not lost to some random betting table. Glancing around Sarina looked at both his suit and her white dress and the red lingerie, which the later wasn’t surprising but a white dress.

“Do you know where your phone is?” His ring was on his ring finger, she had his on her ring finger and there was white suit and a white dress.

Sarina wasn’t sure this could go anywhere other than what she was thinking. Where was her phone?

DESOTO

His ring was on Sarina’s ring finger and Des was officially perplexed. Vaguely he remembered a fake proposal at the restaurant. Had they swapped rings so they could fake being married too? He could see how it would benefit them. This room, for one, was a fucking suite. They could have hosted a party and had people stay over if they’d wanted to. But from the looks and sounds of it they were completely alone. 

“Nah. I woke up and shut the fuckin’ curtain cuz the sun was blinding me.” Over dramatic? Absolutely. But Des was hungover and confused. He was allowed to be a bit of a drama king. 

Rummaging through the pockets of the disgustingly bedazzled suit, he found his phone and moved back to the bed. “I got a shit ton of texts from numbers that ain’t saved…” he trailed off as he opened the texts.

Each text thread was nothing but pictures. Pictures of him and Sarina at the club with a shit ton of strangers. They were clearly having a great time celebrating their fake proposal and judging by the amount of strangers in each picture they’d made plenty of friends. “Who the fuck are these people?” He huffed as he continued going through the texts. 

Nearing the end it became all too clear why Sarina was wearing his ring on her ring finger. “Apparently we made good on that fake proposal…”

SARINA

“Yes yes.” Sarina nodded along with his dramatics pulling the sheet from the bed so she could wander around her mess of clothes. (After double checking her family ring was still on her.) It would actually be smart to get Des’ off her incase she needed to use magic. If it wasn’t enchanted to withstand the heat from her blasts it wouldn’t survive.

Eventually she found her phone in a manilla envelope just as DeSoto spoke. And yup there it was… a marriage license with their names on it.

“Looks legal too.” She flipped the paper to show DeSoto. “Uh- this is weird I mean I can burn it and we pretend this never happened?” Sarina offered grabbing her phone and flopping back onto the bed. Just the movement hurt her head and she was ready to go to sleep even when she started to thumb through all the photos that had been sent to her. “Or does this make me Sarina Sykes. It’s got a ring to it.” Sarina joked coping with humor. 

DESOTO

DeSoto settled back into the bed easily, feeling the fatigue in his bones wanting to take back over. Still he took the marriage license from Sarina and looked it over with furrowed brows. He’d never contemplated marriage, never really thought he would get married. It didn’t matter to him, really. It’s not like he wanted to settle down and have what Roscoe had. He was perfectly happy being single. 

“Hate t’say it but even if yous do burn it there’s probably another copy’a this,” he shrugged as he handed it back to her. 

Laying back he let his eyes slip closed as he sighed lowly. “And s’probably more work getting it undone than it is t’get married here. S’just easier t’stay married cuz I dunno if I can be fucked t’even get back outta bed today.” A truer statement had never been spoken by DeSoto. It’d been a good while since he had partied quite that hard. Sleep sounded beautiful. 

“But we’s can do whatever yous want,” he shrugged again. “Does got a ring to it, though.” 

SARINA

Marriage, that wasn’t something Sarina had ever considered, never even considered staying in place long enough to meet someone and want to get married let alone have the time to do so.

She wasn’t a romantic, she had lost faith in humanity a lot time ago and didn’t trust enough people to give her heart to. Des was one of them but just in a way that was very different than for people that wanted to get married. 

“Honestly, I don’t really care, it’s not like it’s gonna change our lives. Neither one of us is in love with the other and I don’t see us ever being in love with each other like that.” A piece of paper didn’t change that. Maybe she was still a little bit of a romantic. Wanting what her parents had.

Lifting her left hand up she looked at his ring on her hand. “After that dream- I mean, I ran away from my family Des. Never told you guys that. After that dream, I keep thinking about dying alone. Doesn’t really feel like I’ve been a Go, in a very long time. Not sure they even think about me anymore.” Sarina really was just alone at this point.

DESOTO

He could have fallen asleep once Sarina said she didn’t care either way. They were on the same page, at least. They cared about each other but they weren’t ever looking to get married. At least now the both of them had a scapegoat of sorts when people asked. They were married to each other, now all they had to do was avoid questions about starting families and shit. Something they could easily do. 

But then Sarina brought up the dream and he knew that despite being tired, neither one of them were going to go back to sleep. There were things to unpack, things they had tried to run from by going to Vegas. 

So instead, he shifted to sit up and lean against the headboard and wrap an arm around Sarina so he could pull her closer. 

“I—- I get it,” he started quietly. “Me and Ros… we did the same thing sorta. But we got our own definition of what being a Sykes is. A little bit of our upbringing is in it but mainly it’s just us deciding what we wanna be. If your family don’t think of yous? Fuck ‘em. Yous got a family here. With me and Ros. Or whoever yous want. They can’t accept yous or somethin’ then yous too good for ‘em.”

SARINA

Moving with the touch Sarina curled into DeSoto. Maybe it wouldnt be bad being married to your best friend. There was barely any tax benefits though considering most of their work was illegal.

It was just Sarina wished she could agree with him. Fuck them. But it wasnt that easy, she was the bad guy in this situation.

"It wasnt that, my parents were killed at a magick rights protest, for the longest time my brothers and I always went with them fought with them. When they were killed I stopped fighting, the boys didnt. But I had to step in as a primary caregiver to them. They were utterly useless. I was the one that abandoned them." The dream just brought the guilt back stronger. 

"Used to have a secret identity and be a vigilante if you would believe it."

DESOTO

Okay. Okay. DeSoto had no idea how to deal with dead parents. He wanted and actively planned how to kill his own father. He wasn’t a good guy. Had never been a good guy. Part of him couldn’t believe that Sarina had once been one of the good guys. But—- she hadn’t ever really opened up to him like this either, so there had to be truth to it. 

“What made yous leave ‘em?” He asked it carefully, making sure to keep his hold on her light so that if she wanted to distance herself she could. Some family things were tough to talk about. There was a lot that he didn’t talk about or even acknowledge so he definitely understood that. 

But he wanted to know more about this part of Sarina’s life. Especially if it was something that was bothering her this much. He could be a safe place for her if that was what she needed. 

SARINA

"I was going to break, even when I was in University I was falling down a rabbit hole that I could barely see the light of. We were there fighting for magick rights and it was thrown in our faces, or we would try using our powers to help someone and we would be looked at like monsters." Sarina had planned to go into early education. She had wanted to help.

"The boys never saw it like that, they would keep helping but they lacked common sense. Would rush in without even thinking about it. Our parents held us together. Without them… I couldnt do it. I stopped caring about helping, I stopped caring about the things I couldnt control. I could kill myself over it or I could try to live. The boys wanted me to fill the void my parents left and I couldn't do it." The more she spoke about it the guiltier she felt.

"This ring is a family heirloom." Sarina held up her right hand for Des to see the simple silver band. "Enchanted to handle the heat from my energy blasts." 

DESOTO

There were times that DeSoto actually forgot that Sarina was a Magick. He’d seen her use her magic but it still slipped his mind. Maybe because it wasn’t in your face like some but whatever it was he often treated it like out of sight out of mind. It didn’t matter to him that she was a Magick. Did it mean he cared about every other Magick out there? Absolutely not. He still thought there needed to be better policing of them out there but those thoughts didn’t pertain to her. 

“That ain’t your fault, y’know,” he said instead. And it was true. Not wanting to be and do what her brothers wanted wasn’t wrong in any way. A hard concept to grapple with but true all the same. “I mean… I ain’t the son my pops wanted. And— yeah it sucks but, end of the day? I’m my own person.” Even if it wasn’t true and Des was always destined to be a follower. 

Taking her hand, he looked over the ring before locking their fingers together. This was, perhaps, the most tender he’d ever been with someone. “Don’t feel bad yous couldn’t be something someone else wanted yous t’be. ‘Sides, yous wouldn’t be married t’me if yous had been.”

SARINA

Sarina let out a small laugh at that, leave it to Des to boil it down to something so simple. But he wasnt wrong. If she had stayed she wouldnt have met Des or the people she cared about at the Court.

Never would have met Drakken and dealt with his antics. She might not even be here still if she had stayed. 

"Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to check in on them. But right now you think it's okay to weasel myself into your family. Be a Sykes." She wouldnt go around calling herself one, they might be married but they werent about to boast about it unless the situation needed it. 

But it was truly more for herself than it was for other people. 

“Do I get to keep the ring then?”

DESOTO

Sarina’s question was a silly one. Even though they hadn’t been married before she was still a part of his family. He cared for her just as much as he cared for Roscoe. Their bond was unbreakable. But he knew this was a rare moment for the two of them. A small bit of vulnerability shared in the quiet of the morning. 

It was a new and terrifying type of relationship for DeSoto but he knew that Sarina would never betray him. 

“Course yous a Sykes. Was one before we got married,” he huffed even as he pulled her closer. “Be a great addition to the family.” 

Shifting so that they could both lay down again, Des shrugged at the next question. “Long as you’s don’t melt it? Sure.”

SARINA

Sarina smiled against his chest, maybe it wasn’t the most conventional marriage and maybe they would get divorced one day. But the very thought of this giving her a place to call home no matter what. It was kind of nice.

For someone who had her guard up all the time, it was nice to be vulnerable for once.

“No melting, don’t worry I have a way to make sure it’s fine.” And it seemed like a trip back to Italy was in order, it was about time she at least kept her parents wedding bands with her again. Maybe she could stop running in pieces.

But for now, sleep was good, curled up against her husband, they would deal with anything else after they woke up again.

[dlamp-dictator]

Let Me Tell You About Tsubaki Yayoi

Tsubaki Yayoi was not the firstborn child of her generation, but merely the first to survive.

The Yayoi family is a family of nobles. One of the twelve great ruling families of the NOL known as the Duodecim, is a family known for their preservation of bloodline and strong views in purity of lineage, as this purity and bloodline has led to the family having many strong and elite users of Ars Magus, magic through scientific means. As such, Yayoi children aren’t so much born as they are bred, with only the skilled and talented users of Ars Magus being allowed to bear children for the family. This practice has made the Yayoi family with a small but highly elite family of soldiers and warriors extremely skilled in both martial and magical capabilities. 

However, this gift turned into a curse. 

As the pool of suitable mates shrank, the family only grew smaller and smaller. In desperation, they went to inbreeding. And like many noble families of this practice, health deficiencies and low birthrates were abound. Many of Tsubaki’s siblings had perished long before she was born due to their fragile bodies. However, Tsubaki was different. Strong, healthy, and a capable user of Ars Magus. A miracle child, and she was beloved, cherished, and spoiled as if she was the first born. But despite this treatment Tsubaki didn’t grow up bratty or arrogant. She was kind, learned young woman with high moral and sense of justice. And of those morals was only one real rule she was told to keep with her. 

To obey the Imperator, the leader of the world government, without question.

But before her days as military officer began, before she even entered the military academy, she was still a sheltered child. A sheltered child with only her family, her teachers, and her fellow nobles to keep her company. At least, until she met someone new. 

A boy, Jin Kisaragi. Not only a fellow heir of his family, but one of the few people that tolerated Tsubaki, despite his cold and conceited personality. It was in this chanced meeting, and one Jin had tried to shrug off, but the young and tenacious Tsubaki had forced the young man to open up to her, and the two became close, as close as siblings would. Granted, this bond was more due to Tsubaki’s stubbornness and childish clinging to a brother figure than her charisma, but within her then-tiny world of only family and officials, Jin was the closest thing she had to a friend at the time, even something close to crush as well, if a childish one.

And throughout her childhood Tsubaki was raised as any noblewoman would be. She was studious in both martial and literary arts, she was taught etiquette and manners befitting a lady of her stature, she was turned into an influential and beloved member of upper society, a noblewoman of the highest caliber.

And like all young girls, Tsubaki had a fun and rowdy school days. She attended school, she made friends, she lived carefree, with only her duties as a student council member being her main stressors. And there she made met Noel Vermillion and Makoto Nanaya. One a shy girl who could barely speak a sentence without stuttering, the other a bombastic and excitable firebrand whose bestial looks contrasted her carefree nature. Though it took a lot to get Noel out of her shy shell and to get Makoto to look beyond Tsubaki’s title and lineage, the three were soon inseparable friends. And these two were another set of people that opened Tsubaki’s small world.

But the good times never really last. 

After graduating the military academy, Tsubaki was placed in the Wings of Justice, a branch of the government that is not officially on paper. A secret task force, specially tailored to punishes criminals both within and outside the government without question as a secret police. As a woman raised to follow the will of Imperator without question, this was a well enough position for Tsubaki. It’d be a chance to distribute justice to those that the public couldn’t see or learn about lest a panic happen. It’d let her crush traitors and enemies of the state both within and out of the NOL. It could be a noble way to uphold her justice.

 However, the Wings of Justice are often seen as garbage disposal units due to their nature of cleaning up problems and rebels, and treated coldly by most of the military. 

And in this group, she was tasked to kill her best friends. 

Jin Kisaragi, now a seasoned war hero and practically her brother, had deserted the military for personal glory. Noel, one of the first friends she made outside of her family ties, had assisted a world-class terrorist. Due to these acts, they both had to be purged for the greater good and to keep the NOL’s reputation as a force for good intact.

This was devastating. Not only had her brother deserted, but her best friend had aided a criminal of the highest order. There had to be some explanation, right? This had to be some sort of misunderstanding, right?

Right?

Right?

... 

.... 

...

Alas, a mission is a mission. But who knows? Maybe Tsubaki can get Jin to explain himself in a way that makes sense. Maybe the intelligence on Noel was wrong or mishandled. Jin is a Major, a war hero. There’s no way he’d desert the army, much less to pursue personal glory at the drop of a hat. Jin was many things, but a glory hound and violent person was neither of them. And Noel? The poor girl shook like a leaf when having to talk to friends, let alone a terrorist, let alone save him. And besides, she was the secretary of Jin. If anything, she was probably trying to save Jin in the crossfire. This... this had to be a massive misunderstanding. She could go to Kagutsuchi, get things cleared up, report to the nearest military branch, and get this all squared away. 

But... just in case...

Izayoi, an ancient garb and weapon of Tsubaki’s family. A weapon that can steal the light of both opponent and user alike, and grant its wielder control over light. It was the one thing she had that could put her on equal footing with the war hero Jin and the mystically talented Noel. Even if it costs her sight and life. But that wouldn’t happen. It was just... insurance. Just in case. Worse case scenario only. An argument might spark, sure, especially with Jin, but the chances of her actually crossing swords was just impossible. 

It wasn’t going to happen right?

Right?

Right?

...

...

...

Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Never meant to be. 

Her brother was a traitor, just a selfish man after his own goals by his own means. Her best friend shouldn’t have even existed in the first place and took Tsubaki’s place by her brother’s side. And in the end, her belief meant nothing. Her justice meant nothing. Her life meant nothing. What could she do? What could she believe in? What was right? What was justice?

“Tsubaki Yayoi... Fall not into darkness. For I shall be your light.”

So... Why Talk About This

I’ve had Tsubaki on my mind a lot recently. I was watching some Continuum Shift storylines and Tsubaki’s always hits me. I like Tsubaki a lot, both as a character in the game and as a character in the story. Her being in the Blazblue world does a lot to ground a lot of the overly complicated lore in the world. It shows that the Duodecim is an actual noble family with rules, a public face, and has people that within that need to not act like self-centered asshole and do whatever they want, Jin. It shows that the NOL is an actual military government with standards that needs its soldiers acting in a proper manner, and will eliminate them if they cause too much of a fuss. It shows that all these special weapons deal quite the toll on people’s psyche and wellbeing for the power they give. Much like how Makoto’s existence shows how hard it is for normal people in the Blazblue universe to have a decent life, much like how Kagura’s existence shows that there is political turmoil within the Duodecim, Tsubaki’s existence shows the more noble side of the NOL and the duties they have to uphold for the sake of keeping the fractured peace as a world government.

And then Chronophantasma happened and ruined everything.

Okay, I’m being somewhat facetious here, but Chronophantasma did start the trend of ignoring everyone that wasn’t directly related to Ragna’s story. I’ll save my discussion on that for another day, but in just terms of Tsubaki...

The Izayoi was revealed to be an anti-Observer weapon, hard-countering Rachel, Amane, Noel, and arguably beings like Tagamahara. This is not discussed or utilized further beyond mentioning it.

Izayoi has the ability of Immortal Breaker, which can kill extremely powerful beings like Rachel, Terumi, Amane, and essentially anyone save for Izanami, Jin, and Hakumen. This is only discussed and utilized once to my memory.

With Jin as injured as he is in Central Friction, the Power of Order -basically the strongest plot armor in Blazblue canon- is slowly transferred over Tsubaki as she’s the next best fit for... y’know, Peacekeeper of the Planet’s Will to Maintain Order. She essentially becomes an SMT Order-Aligned protagonist and this is barely mentioned to my memory.

I could go on, but this is a celebration of Tsubaki’s character, not a critique/whining about post-Continuum Shift’s story progression. Anyway, I like Tsubaki. Quite a bit. If we ever get another mainline Blazblue title I really hope to see her in it. 

But for now, I’ve got a few more drafts to finish up, so I’ll see you all later.

[missclassy01]

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[drjackandmissjo]

Roses are Red, Tattoos are Forever

Chapter 1 --- Next Chapter

Feysand Masterlist

Pigtails and Liliums

They have two shops, one next to the other. They're friends. She disappeared and now she's back. He tries his hardest. The only thing that gets a reaction from her isn't the one he planned

Florist and Tattoo Artist Au, Modern Day

“Excuse me, sir?” a little girl with missing front teeth and pigtails asked him as he was cutting the leaves off a long Lilium.

He gave her his brightest smile and, after having put the tools down on the counter, leaned over towards her. “Yes, sweetie. What can I do for you?”

The little girl began to look nervous and turned her little head towards her mother, who motioned for her to go on with her question. The girl couldn’t have been older than seven and, after taking a big breath in, she said:"Do you have to put the drawings on every morning by yourself or does your mom help you?”.

Rhys was shocked for a couple of seconds, but promptly replied:"My mommy helps me every morning before I leave for work. But, if you want and if your mom agrees, there is a little shop next door that can give you a drawing for your skin that can last for a week or two! And your mom doesn't have to help, there are some that you can put on your own."

The little girl’s smile grew so wide and bright it might’ve outshone the Sun itself. The mother mouthed a little ‘thank you’ laughing a little at his response.

He nodded his reply and went back to his work. He gave the flowers to her after he was done as the little girl kept on asking:"Can I get one of those for one week? Pretty please."

Rhys did not hear the mother’s affirmative nor negative response as she said it while getting out of his shop, but he imagined it must’ve been affirmative, based on the girl’s reaction.

He went back to work, smiling to himself.

***

An hour later, it was time to close the shop and call it a day.

What a wonderful day it had been!

He had an appointment with the others for dinner at Amren’s house, and he knew perfectly how much she hated when he showed up late, so he turned the sign at the door and went on to finish his chores. He had exactly 20 minutes to complete his paperwork and head out, so he moved as quickly as he could. Or at least he wanted to.

When he had arrived halfway to his desk, he heard a small knock on the glass door.

“We’re closed, I’m sorry.”, he yelled without looking.

“Did you just send a freaking seven years old into my tattoo parlour?”, yelled back the person on the other side.

Rhys didn’t turn around, but simply smiled and took some steps backwards, until his back hit the glass door. “I did it one hour ago, not ‘just’, and I sent her to get a temporary one with the roses that you hand draw and that usually last a week, just as those into the Polaretti.”

“I know and I proposed one of those, but she saw my arm and choose a full sleeve. I gave her a henna one. Will wash down in a month or so.”

Now he turned around to open the locked door, letting the girl in.

Feyre wasn’t particularly remarkable: golden brown hair, piercing blue-greyish eyes that usually threw daggers and glared at everyone and threatened everyone from her 5’6 glory. A tattoo adorned her whole left arm, a full sleeve made of intricate waves and vines and thorns that went from the top of her shoulder to the tip of her fingers, leaving only her palm empty of ink. On the back of her hand, there was a little spot not covered by those thorns and those vines, but by a VFD's style eye. His idea. It came out off a bet, like many things in their friendship.

He did not like that word.

When Feyre walked past him to walk into his shop, she left a trace of vanilla and blueberries in her wake, probably from her shampoo or perfume.

He was intoxicated.

“It’s the third kid that you specifically send me to get a temporary tattoo.”

“Do you blame me for making you work a little bit more?”

She sat on his counter and pouted. “I blame me you for the looks the parents give me after the job’s done.”

“I’m sorry they’re causing you trouble. They look very convinced when they leave from here.”

She threw her hands in the air:"As they are when they come in! But, as soon as my work's finished, they whine about how the kid will get sick of it, how their classmates will react, how their other parent friends will react, etcetera etcetera etcetera.”

He nodded respectfully. They set into a comfortable silence and, while he worked, Feyre read one on the handwritten labels next to some petunias, explaining the meaning of the flower, the history, its origin and even a synopsis about Harry Potter’s aunt.

“I’m sorry again if I have to cut this lovely visit short, but I gotta be at Amren’s, and you know how she gets when someone’s not punctual.”

She nodded solemnly, fully aware of the of the little one’s wrath.

“Besides”, he continued even though the topic pained him, “don’t you have to be home soon? It’s a miracle Tamlin lets you out of the house to go to work even. Without anyone to check on you regularly even!”

She scolded, but didn’t comment, shutting the conversation down.

Shady? Maybe. True? Yes. Bitter? Totally.

He had been in love with that woman since day one, but didn’t have the guts to ask her out. They started as friends, then besties and then, when he finally found his courage, Tamlin came into the picture.

The blond-haired lawyer asked her out the same day he had planned to, just one hour earlier. Feyre then came to his place, as they had planned, to a Disney movie night and ice cream, and told him everything. Rhys couldn't believe his luck, but as long as she was happy, he wouldn’t have said anything.

And he didn’t. Things started out perfectly for them, but Tamlin rushed into it head first, arguably forcing her into moving in together at his place, which was very much better than hers. ‘Arguably forcing her’ because, even though she denied, he gave her no choice. Small comments here and there about her living situations, bigger comments about how he would’ve appreciated to have her around 24/7 and three weeks later, she had given up her apartment.

"You'll save money like this, since you don't have to pay rent anymore.", he said.

And then:"I don't see why you choose that as a living profession. It isn’t proper for a lady to work in a tattoo shop”.

Later:"You know you can stop working, right? My salary is high enough and, besides, the house could use someone to pay attention to it."

That sentence came one month earlier. Feyre didn’t show up at her little shop for almost four weeks after that, not even texting Rhys or letting anyone of their shared friends knowing if she was alive. Rhys had to even call her bigger sister, Nesta, that didn’t exactly appreciate him very much, nor his brother Cassian for the matter.

Moral of the story: nobody knew where Feyre was for three weeks and four days. Three days earlier, when Rhys went to work, the little tattoo parlour next to his florist shop was open. He rushed in, relief written all over his features, but she was with a client already, so he decided to swing by later. She was constantly with clients whenever he showed up to check up on her.

It pained him, how she looked: pale, almost invisible. Her collarbones were showing more than usual, the bags under her eyes more prominent than ever.

The worst thing was a simple one, though. A month or so, after she had started dating Tamlin, she stopped drawing.

She did her job, still perfectly. Only with less passion.

She used to draw the tattoos by hand on a piece of paper before transferring them to the skin, to make them more personal for the buyer. She made the most complicated details with her pencil and pens and the results were breathtaking.

After moving in with him, she started using her laptop, searching for the tattoos online or using pre-drawn models. She still focused and did what she was paid to, but each time with less energy. Until she stopped at all.

Now she was back, empty as a shell. And still didn’t hand draw anything.

Until now. It struck him as a lightning.

“Feyre, you gave that girl a Henna, isn’t it?”

She smiled, timid and small, but it was a smile nonetheless. “She couldn’t stop talking about how pretty was the tattoo on you and how pretty was mine and how she wanted one up her arm and I couldn’t just make a sticker one.”

“You free-handily draw that?”. Rhys was hoping so hard. He prayed every deity he knew.

Feyre looked down at the point of her shoes. She was shutting him down again.

He couldn’t let it happen. “Fey, what happened? You stopped coming to work, stopped talking and texting. And now you come back, looking like a ghost. And a little girl shows up and you gave her a free handily henna. It’s the first drawing you’ve done in months. What happened?”

“She reminded me of you.”, she said, still looking down. “She reminded me of you and I... I just wanted to. I left him. A week ago. I just couldn’t stay there any longer. He was obsessive and jealous and I felt like I was dying. We argued about how maniacally he was acting and he snapped. So I packed all my things and left in the middle of the night, as he was sleeping. He came looking for me the next day and I was scared. I told him to get the hell out of my life or else I would've gone to the police and fucked up his perfect lawyering career.”

For once in his life Rhys didn’t know what to say. He simply stared at her as she was looking at the floor.

“Who kept Lucien?” his voice said before his brain could even register.

Feyre’s head bubbled up quickly, her eyes open wider in disbelief.

“I mean, he’s like a puppy. A red furred puppy. So, usually, when two people split up, one keeps the dog.”

“Lucien is a grown man and can make his own choices.”, she replied stubbornly.

"I take that as ‘at first he chose The Tool and now he's turning around towards me'”

She smiled. “Indeed”

Rhys’ heart was about to explode. He was about to tell her everything, how he felt truly.

But he didn't. Instead, what he said was simply:"I gotta go at Amren's. There is a seat reserved for you, you know."

Feyre looked at him, truly looked at him for once and he thought she could stare at his soul.

“Smile again” he whispered. She did, broad and without restraint.

“You’re exquisite”, he breathed.

She was brilliant, broken and healing at the same time. She needed time and he would’ve given her all the time in the world.

Feyre looked at the clock on the wall. “If we leave now, we can arrive at Amren’s in time, hell even beat Az in the race there!”

That was enough for now.

[aion-rsa]

How Star Trek: Discovery Fulfills Spock’s Franchise Legacy

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This Star Trek: Discovery article contains MAJOR spoilers for “Unification III,” and spoilers for Picard.

Michael Burnham has returned to her home planet Vulcan in an attempt to recover some data from a Vulcan and Romulan alliance she never thought was even possible. If this sounds like the beginning of an epic title crawl in a Star Wars movie, you’re not far off. In Discovery Season 3, Episode 7, “Unification III,” the Trek franchise has delivered one of its most epic and generation-spanning episodes in a very long time. We always knew Star Trek: Discovery’s status as both a prequel and a sequel to TOS and TNG was tricky, but for fans everywhere, it was hard to believe these time-jumping tricks could ever result in an episode this heartfelt and straight-up cool.

And yet, if the USS Discovery’s visit to the planet Ni’Var had you scratching your head, or running to Google to figure out how everything fits in, there are a few very logical answers to what’s going on here. But, that doesn’t mean these answers are simple. When there’s this much time travel involved – plus multiple, specific Star Trek shows and movies — it’s bound to get a little complicated. Let’s untangle the Vulcan-Romulan web, shall we?

Is “Unification III” a sequel to The Next Generation episodes “Unification I” and “Unification II”? 

Short answer: Yes! In 1991, during  Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 5, the two-part episode “Unification” featured the return of Leonard Nimoy as live-action Spock to the small screen for the first time since The Original Series. And, not counting archive footage in DS9‘s “Trials and Tribble-ations,” prior to Discovery, this TNG two-parter was the only appearance of Spock on a Trek TV series after the end of The Animated Series in 1974.

In 1991, Nimoy’s Spock was strictly relegated to appearing in the Trek feature films, and in fact, his final performance as Spock, was also in 1991, in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Because Nimoy co-developed the story for The Undiscovered Country, he felt strongly about promoting the film through a crossover on TNG. This is why Spock gives a speech to Picard about committing Captain Kirk to a peace mission in “Unification II.” At the time, Nimoy and the Trek franchise were giving a small preview of what was going to happen in The Undiscovered Country, which was, arguably, the origin of Spock’s journey to becoming an ambassador. (Something that is funny that people forget, is that at the time this episode aired, there was a rumor that Captain Kirk would die in The Undiscovered Country. And nothing Spock says in “Unification II” confirms or denies that!)

So, what does that have to do with the Romulans? Well, if it’s been a while since you’ve seen “Unification I and II” the story is all about Picard and Data trying to track down Spock after the Federation believes he’s gone rogue. This is why Discovery, the Vulcan president, says Spock “left” the Federation. He did! Of course, he didn’t leave it to defect. He left it to live on Romulus and help bring together the Vulcans and the Romulans. 

Wait. Didn’t Spock leave Romulus — before it blew-up — and travel back in time and meet Chris Pine?

Yes! Old Spock did leave Romulus and, eventually die in the past of an alternate dimension. In Discovery, Admiral Vance says that the reunification of Vulcans and Romulans “took centuries after [Spock’s] death.” This, however, is a presumed death. As far as Vance knows, Spock died sometime in 2387, trying to pilot his experimental ship, the Jellyfish, to use red matter to stop the Romulan supernova. In Star Trek 2009, Spock tells Kirk (Pine) — via mind-meld — that he promised the Romulans that he would try to save their planet. Presumably, Spock had been living on Romulus this entire time. In other words, Spock started living on Romulus in 2368 (TNG) and flew his red matter spaceship to try and save them in 2387 (flash “backs” in Star Trek 2009). So, this means that in just 19-years, Spock’s teaching made a big enough difference to eventually get the Vulcans and the Romulans to hang-out together sometime before the events of 3188. 

When did the planet Vulcan become Ni’Var?

It’s not exactly clear. We know that Ni’Var left the Federation 100 years prior to 3188, but it seems likely that the integration of Vulcans and Romulans was underway a long time before that happened. Could it have been as early as the 25th century? Sometime after the events of Star Trek: Picard? Maybe. After 2387, we know the Romulans literally don’t have a home, and by 2399 (Picard Season 1) there’s a loose government called The Romulan Free State. That said, several parts of Romulan culture seem more open to peace simply because things aren’t going so great. Could the Romulan emigration to the planet have happened sometime fairly quickly after Picard Season 1? It’s possible! In fact, considering we see the Romulan Qowat Milat order in “Unification III,” it feels possible that Picard Season 2 could show us the beginnings of the planet Vulcan becoming “Ni’Var.” Then again, it’s also possible this whole Ni’Var business didn’t start until several centuries after Picard, too. There are 930 years between Discovery Season 2 and Discovery Season 3. But, that’s still 789 years between Picard and Discovery Season 3. A lot could have happened.

Okay, how the hell does this recording of Spock even exist?

IRL, we totally understand where Michael’s brief Spock clip comes from. It’s from “Unification II,” and it’s Spock talking to Picard. But, in-universe, why does this holographic recording exist? There’s really only one answer: Picard must have been recording Spock nearly the entire time they were on the mission. The speech Michael Burnham views is (mostly) from the very end of “Unification II,” in which Spock says: “The union of the Vulcan and Romulan people will not be achieved by politics diplomacy will not be achieved by politics or diplomacy — but it will be achieved.” Spock says this to Picard, while Data is watching. So, it feels possible that Data was recording the entire conversation for the purposes of the mission. After all, Picard and Data were on a covert mission for Starfleet, meaning it isn’t insane that they would have recorded it. When Burnham accesses the file, the computer says “coordinates redacted” but also that it’s from the personal files of “Admiral Jean-Luc Picard.” So, Picard is the source, the coordinates were the planet Romulus, and somehow Picard recorded this convo, maybe with Data’s help, or maybe some other way.

There is one small wrinkle in all of that. The first part of the speech that Michael listens to actually happens in a different part of “Unification II” than the second. When Spock says “closed minds have kept these two worlds apart,” this happens way earlier in the episode when, still dressed as a Romulan, Picard and Spock have some soup together. So, this recording is actually two recordings from Picard during his covert mission, which means Data as the primary holographic recording device is probably out since Data wasn’t there during the Picard-Spock soup debate. 

This leaves only two explanations: Picard had a secret recording device on his person, that allowed all of his convos with Spock to be stored and recorded. But there’s a more fun answer.

Picard is an android now—remember? 

At the end of Star Trek: Picard Season 1, all of Jean-Luc Picard’s memories are transferred into a new Synth body, meaning, effectively, Picard’s memories have now been stored using technology. This fact actually creates a pretty easy way for a holographic file of Picard’s eyewitness memory to exist. He wasn’t recording anything at the time with technology, but later, at some point, Picard pulled out a few memories from his new robot brain and turned those into holographic recordings. Considering all the stuff that Picard has seen and his interest in preserving history, this feels legit. Jean-Luc Picard would totally turn his actual memories into curated holographic recordings. And he might do it for the very reason Burnham accesses the files in Discovery. Picard, like Spock, wanted the truth to survive. Even if it meant pulling those memories out of his robot brain, and copying them onto a 25th-century memory stick.

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Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 is streaming now on CBS All Access.

The post How Star Trek: Discovery Fulfills Spock’s Franchise Legacy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[thelastjaedi]

TROS Rant

This post will contain spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker, so below the cut is spoilers.

The Palpatines Ultimately Win

Rey, a palpatine, ends up taking everything that belong to the skywalker family: the legacy saber, the millennium falcon, Han’s blaster, leia’s ex machina saber, the chosen one prophecy, the last skywalker’s life force, and their name/legacy. And her first act as a skywalker is to bury their sabers on the planet they all hated. The planet where Anakin was enslaved and where his mother’s life was stolen from him. The planet Luke could not wait to get off of and where his aunt and uncle were murdered. The planet where Leia was enslaved by a crime lord.

And the worst part is that Palptine gets what he always wanted: the lifeforce of a skywalker is used to keep a palpatine alive.

It Makes Everything the Skywalker Family Went Through so Pointless

If they were going to undo RotJ’s happy ending, they should have made the ending of the sequels even happier and more triumphant.

But instead, Anakin’s sacrifice amounted to nothing because Palpatine just lives on to completely wreck his family. Luke was a complete failure when it came to rebuilding the Jedi order. Palpatine manipulated/groomed Ben Solo since infancy, turning him against his family. Leia‘s wish was to create something better than the Republic and the Empire, but the New Republic was destroyed by the First Order. She wanted her son back, and Han sacrificed his life to try and bring their son back. Luke did too in TLJ. He gave his life to manufacture a situation where he could apologize and acknowledge what he did to his nephew, and in such a way to where Ben could not act out without ending up with another family member’s death on his hands. And then with the whole “salt purifying wounds” symbolism of the planet in general, it felt like the first steps to repairing this family. This story’s trajectory seemed to be about saving the last skywalker from the mistakes of the previous generation and in doing so, allowing the new generation to learn from those mistakes and build something new. Han, Luke, and Leia gave their lives to try and right that wrong and bring the last scion of this bloodline home. And when Ben FINALLY makes the right choice, he is excluded from the final fight against Palpatine via yeet pit, and then dies 2 seconds after finding the happiness and acceptance he was never allowed to have with Rey. 

They Did The Character of Ben Solo So Dirty

They took a huge retconnish step back after TLJ paved the way for something really cool in TROS. He was finally free to be his own person, out from under the thumb of an abusive master, leader of his faction, and resolved rather than conflicted. Resolved to do what, we will never know—would he have acted as an anti hero against palpatine’s sith army? Would he have been dethroned by Hux/Pryde and have to operate independently? WHO KNOWS. But instead of exploring anything NEW with him, TROS has him reforge that mask (for no given reason), still be conflicted about everything, and have to plot with Rey to overthrow yet another abusive master. He just repeated his arc in TLJ, but with prequel-level dialogue with Rey and a RotJ-Vader ending. Except he gets NO LINES in the last act beyond “ow”. After his scene with Leia-induced-memory!Han, he essentially becomes a mute. Also that scene where Luke gives Rey Leia’s lightsaber, saying that she always knew Ben would fall so she gave it up and wanted Luke to pass it on to someone worthy? What? Give up on your son I guess. Way to destroy Leia’s character and make her look like a terrible mother.

And because of how exhaustingly how contrived the whole reylo angle was presented in general, the kiss scene probably felt REALLY forced for the general audience. Like the actors played the scene well—Adam’s facial expressions of utter hopelessness and regret upon finding her dead was absolutely gut wrenching. But his death happens SO fast: he meditates, she wakes up, they kiss, the music swells and you think everything is going to be ok—then he drops dead 2 seconds later and neither the audience nor Rey are given enough time to process that. It moves on to the celebration montage ripped straight from RotJ’s remastered version—AND HE IS NEVER SEEN OR MENTIONED AGAIN! Not even as a force ghost on Tatooine with Luke and Leia when she proclaims herself a Skywalker. Are they going to edit his force ghost into the scene 20 years later when they remaster this film? Or are we just going to pretend this character never existed and he was not the hero--because he really was the hero of this film.

Balance is Never Restored

Did that “Journal of the Whills” passage in the TFA book even matter? In the end, balance was never reached. The light won the day and the darkness perished. Again. History literally repeated itself. So what’s the next fascist regime or sith zombie that’s going to sprout up in 30 years? There was no resolution or catharsis between the two aspects of the force. It was just “Sith avatar Sideous bad, Rey jedi avatar good, don’t think too hard, enjoy the holidays and see you in 30 years when we want to see what Rey Skywalker is up to!” And you know that’s coming — they did not even give us closure to the Skywalker saga because they can always make movies about her and any of her false-Skywalker decedents! It’s SO UPSETTING. 

I’m mostly disappointed because it would have been nice to see a resolved view of the force that is not so black and white. Like maybe the Sith were a perversion of what the dark side is: a cancer or parasite that has corrupted it. TLJ opened the door for so many nuanced and honestly really intelligent concepts that TROS just threw out the window for “cool force powers”.  There is absolutely no “peace” in the force, it’s used with straight up aggression constantly save for the force healing/life transferring, which is overused in this film and has therefore lost any substantial weight in the story because of it.

Rey Repeats the Mistakes of a Past Generation

She literally repeats Leia’s mistakes. She is a Palpatine, but in choosing to hide that from everyone (besides Finn, I guess) by taking another family’s last name, she is essentially lying. That did not work out so well with Leia, who hid the fact she was Vader’s daughter from everyone besides Luke and Han. It got out, her political career was tanked, she lost the trust of a lot of her friends, and it helped alienated her son from their family. 

And what is this nonsense about Luke and Leia having always known she was a Palpatine all along, but never said anything? Even though she was aware of Rey’s desperation to know where she came from and why her family left her behind? Did she just omit the truth from Rey just like she did Ben? WHAT? THIS IS SO HORRIBLE.

If they had to make her a Palpatine, why not have her own it and be like “it is not my bloodline that defines who I am, but the choices I make.” Which is a nicer message and juxtaposes with Kylo who accepted his dark legacy because he felt like he had no other choice—especially when everyone who was suppose to help him thought he is another Vader/a lost cause anyway. 

I personally really like the message that she was no one, and you did not have to be anyone special to be a hero. I also hate how her bloodline diminishes her struggle with her affinity for the dark side. Her backstory as an abandoned orphan provided enough reason for her to struggle with the pull to the dark side. But this reveal oversimplified that and just chalked it up to her genes. And to say that her power was a result of her heritage, and not because she was a chosen vessel of the cosmic force is a mistake. 

Rey and Kylo’s Force Bond is Terribly Misused

Their force bond (which was arguably the most compelling part of TLJ) was turned it into exposition fodder and weaponized. It was originally created for the purpose of allowing these two opposing forces to TALK to each other rather than fight. TLJ established that they could not use the force on each other OR harm each other through the bond for a reason: so they could communicate and learn from each other. It really felt like foreshadowing for some sort of catharsis or resolution between the light and dark aspects of the force. Especially with the whole spiel about balance, and how the light and the dark are both natural parts of life and the force (warmth, cold, peace, violence, death and decay that brings forth new life ect). That was such a lovely and spiritual interpretation. 

But instead of expanding on that idea, TROS not only made them able to fight each other through it, but he took it to video-game-super-power level extremes. And it was just plain absurd. Were some scenes cool? Yeah, I thought him pulling the legacy saber out from behind his back to fight the knights was great, and the teleportation was hinted at in TLJ, but I hated their lightsaber fights. It was too over the top with the flipping and such. I really liked TLJ’s message that the force is not a super power, but rather a mystical force that guides you if you are open to letting it work through you. This movie just spat in the face of that idea. 

And it’s so annoying that they described their bond as this mystical “dyad” that occurred because of who their famous grandparents were—THAT IS SO INFURIATING! It’s not the will of the force that these two people on opposing sides were linked so deeply, but because of their family legacy. Bloodlines are all that matter apparently—not that the force is working through these two similarly broken people in an effort to fix and balance itself. And ultimately refine the incomplete view of the force that the Jedi and Sith tore the galaxy apart over. 

I also hated how the bond is described “two as one”, but then one dies without the other (twice!) and Rey can wound him without so much as a flinch. If the bond is really one life force/spirit inhabiting two bodies, shouldn’t they have to die at the same time? Or at least be able to feel each other’s pain? Or be able to share this life force they supposedly already share and both survive? Like you can’t kill one without killing the other, sort of deal? It just feels like it was hyped up to be this immensely powerful thing, and that in order to defeat Palpatine, they would have to do so together. But all that exposition seems pointless after one half of the dyad survives without its counterpart. And it is never addressed after. Like what even is the point of any of this yin yang stuff if yin can just die off with no consequences? Was the entire point of that plot thread meaningless exposition? And if the explanation is that Palpatine stole their force bond to revive himself, that’s straight up stupid. TROS will have wasted this unique connection that had so much potential for good and for meaningful resolution and fabricated yet another way to empower the already OP villain. 

But if you pretend none of that dumb dyad shit happened, Ben Solo’s death is one of the ONLY things about this movie that makes sense thematically. I’m not happy that he died. I do not think it was necessary. But I am trying to make peace with the fact that it is a beautiful sacrifice. I always felt like their arc was reverse Padme x Anakin, and Anakin’s entire fall to the dark side was because he wanted to become powerful enough to save the person he loved from death. He never achieved that because his love for Padme and his motivations were inherently selfish. He wanted her save her so he could keep her beside him. Ben, however, rights that wrong and selflessly gives his life for the one he loves. He does so knowing that he will die, and does not even hesitate, because he wants her to live even if he can’t be with her. So in that way, and excluding the dyad stuff that makes his death confusing and nonsensical, I actually felt like it was fulfilling. Sort of. One of the only things that came close to feeling well thought out in that movie, I suppose. But it still did not land quite right because of how poorly it was orchestrated. I genuinely do not think people picked up on the subtle romance hints they dropped around those two. Like the tropes are there, but it’s almost entirely subtext and not something the general audience picked up on until the shirtless scene and even then it was more of a meme. But regardless of whatever romance was set up in the previous films, I felt like their entire arc in this film was dysfunctional as fuck and not cathartic at all. It was very juvenile and reduced to a series of “join me! No! —sword fight— Join me! No! —sword fight—” Did I enjoy some of their banter, yes. But it was not nearly as satisfying as their exchanges in TLJ. 

The Retconning of TLJ and Extended Material 

It felt like TROS was trying so hard to pacify everyone who hated the direction TLJ took the narrative. And so much of the movie’s run time is spent retconning what was revealed in that movie, with no explanation other than “from a certain point of view” loopholes. And there were so many tasteless digs at TLJ. The comment about the Holdo maneuver. Luke catching the lightsaber and raising that ancient, sea-corroded x wing from the water on Ach-to. Rey’s parents becoming nobodies to protect her from Grandpappy Palps. Leia unable to get a single ship to answer her distress calls at the end of TLJ, but Lando can fetch the whole damn galaxy in an End Game like fashion.

Poe is randomly a drug smuggler despite his backstory already being established as being a part of the New Republic’s Navy and having Rebel Heroes for parents. 

Chewbacca already got a medal in the comics, so that scene was so redundant. Did the writers even consult with the Lucasfilm’s story team?

Leia was trained as a Jedi and only gave it up because she knew her son was going to turn to the dark side. It was already established in Bloodlines that Leia chose to be a senator because the galaxy needed her in politics more than it needed her with a laser sword. That was where she could do the most good. And she sacrifices everything--even her family--for the sake of building something better and new. But that sacrifice is reduced to her giving it up because she essentially has given up on her son before he is even born? I just do not understand why that flashback was necessary. Or why she needed a lightsaber. It is like it was included to pacify people who were upset with Leia using the force to save herself in TLJ, but an explanation is not needed because we have already established in the films and in extended material that she is force sensitive.

I don’t even want to talk about the vats full of Snokes.

Finn being force sensitive is cool, and I could totally see the potential in that from TFA, but it goes absolutely nowhere and his character is back to being Poe’s sidekick and Rey’s lost puppy. Rose gets absolutely NO screen time, and is sidelined the entire film to pacify people who hated her character in TLJ. I do not need FinnRose to be canon, either. I loved their development in TLJ because Rose challenged and progressed Finn as a character. And even though I always thought FinnPoe was going to be endgame, I never thought they would sweep her under the rug. Speaking of Finn and Poe, they queer-baited everyone with Stormpilot, only to give both of them hetero love interests. Finn and Poe have so much natural chemistry and meaningful interaction, especially in the last resistance novel that came out, that it was a slap to the face to see Finn psuedo-paired with Jannah/Rey and Poe paired with Zori.

Hux was set up to have all this ambition and a tense rivalry with Kylo Ren. But he gets shot by a random new character for helping the Resistance he hates so much-- that is incredibly nonsensical. There was so much potential for a First Order civil war between Kylo Ren and Hux, and he was hyped up in the comics to be a very dangerous adversary. What a waste. 

Were there moments in the film that were fun and enjoyable, sure, but I find that all of the problems eclipse those moments. It’s really hard to find stuff I actually liked about it. C3PO was great, but I felt like him getting his memories restored removed the weight of his sacrifice. Much like everything else in this film. There were way too many fake out deaths for anything to be meaningful. The movie itself was, admittedly, gorgeous. The Death Star ruins was such a magical set. The soundtrack was beautiful as ever. But I just feel so depressed and sorry for the tragedy that was the Skywalker family after watching it, that I cannot even enjoy the parts that were enjoyable.

[tomloki]

my play experience

Okay story time … I wasn’t sure if I was gonna comment about my play experience on here, but then I thought “what the hey, I kinda actually want to” so on I go… I was in London from the 24th of March to the 27th (a very, very short stay, I know, but it was what I could afford to do and also I had to get back to work and school asap). It was my first time in London and it’s clearly a beautiful city with wonderful people. I wish I had more time to explore it, even though I’m not the touristy type, but I would’ve liked to visit some of the parks and such. Anyway back on track, the play … I was there with my sister and brother and we had seats to the left in Row B in the stalls, so we were very close to the stage. The curtain rises and all three characters are there in the center, motionless, and I’m already heart-eyes staring at Tom at this point. But I’m not going to give a detailed scene by scene breakdown because that would be insanely long. Suffice to say that, having read the actual play beforehand, this performance was everything I could have never imagined, in the best way possible. All the stage direction, all the creative choices made in this production added so much more meaning to the play beyond the literal and made it so heartfelt. I remember reading in the TimeOut review that Betrayal is usually “taken fairly literally, as a realist drama about an affair.” And just off reading it alone (although to be fair, maybe plays aren’t exactly meant to be read??) I also sensed that it was a bland tale about adultery. But not here; not in THIS production. Here, they get it right or they get it different, whichever one it is, they make it so much more than what it appears to be on the surface. Spoilers under the cut. 

The shadows on stage: 

It’s no secret now that one of the major things that set this production apart is that none of the characters ever really step off stage (well, except for the very last scene where Robert has to appear later in the scene and so, Tom does step off the stage and then back on it). The conversations happen between whichever two characters and the third one stands or sits as a shadow or as the “other.” Sometimes this third “other” is silently watchful, sometimes they’re reflective or somewhat involved in the scene, and sometimes they’re staring straight ahead into the abyss. In all occasions, the third becomes the topic of the conversation, at some point, between two of the characters. And the reason this creative choice works so well is that it helps you realize that there’s nothing linear about this story of betrayal, its triangular.. its a trio caught up in each other’s lies and this mess of their own making. In any conversation, there’s always concern for the third and you start to truly feel like these three people cannot exist without each other ... it can’t be just the two of them, they’re codependent, which is why I think Jerry felt so betrayed by both Emma and Robert even though as an audience we are aware of how much heavier his betrayal toward Robert was than Robert’s betrayal toward him. In an odd sort of way, the third “other” constantly being present made you feel their absence even more, because you’re constantly reminded of their existence outside of the conversation. 

Now, there are nine scenes total and Robert is in only four of them, even though that he’s still arguably the most complex character of the three. The fangirl in me was ecstatic in knowing that Tom would never really step off stage. And I think Jaime Lloyd took good advantage of Tom’s ability to be subtle yet vulnerable and placed him in these scene where only his eyes could do any of the talking. In any instance where Robert was the “other,” tom’s expressions were never impassive. Even as he stared into the distance, you felt there was always something on his mind. In fact, I couldn’t take my eyes off Tom his eyes DEMAND attention to the point where I sometimes felt I was being unfair to Zawe and Charlie. I would listen to the conversations between Emma and Jerry, but still only really look at Robert, for the most part. You only have to look to the Morning Star review to validate me: Tom Hiddleston, statuesque yet vulnerable, holds the eye at all times. I remember reading a fan’s recount of her RADA Hamlet experience and in it, she says that Tom does this thing where his eyes meet with the most attentive fan in the audience and he makes you his focal point audience-member for the a good amount of the performance. Which makes a lot of sense to me, since he’s such a responsive person and naturally great at being attentive. And, I kid you not, I was close enough to the stage and persistent enough with my stares for that person to be me. Directly after the performance I was talking to my sister and said “I swear I’m not making this up, but me and Tom made direct eye contact at least five times over.” And she hadn’t even let me finish that thought before she affirmed it was happening, she didn’t think it was wishful thinking, she didn’t think I was crazy, she just said “I noticed that each time it happened too! He DID make eye contact with you it was wild.” Like even when we came back home, my dad said I must’ve been imagining it but she jumped in and was like “No, believe me I would’ve called her out if she was being insane, but I witnessed it happening!” I thought about it a lot on my way back to the hotel, that night, and what I thought was that either a) he appreciated my attentiveness and reciprocated it or b)  this was a natural Tom reaction to someone constantly looking his way (which we all know that he’s very responsive and really great with eye contact so maybe he couldn’t help but look back at the person constantly looking at him) or c) he looked at me and thought “this isn’t even my scene you creep, you should redirect your attention to Zawe and Charlie.” Whichever it was, because Tom is so good at remembering faces, I like to think that if he does even remember me at all, he’ll remember me as the creepy girl in the scarf who stared him down. It was out of love for him though and his performance elicited nothing less, so I really hope it didn’t come off as creepy. 

Robert’s persona: 

There’s a lot to be said about Robert and there’s a lot more to be said about Robert as portrayed by Tom Hiddleston. Think probably in the same manner that Tom was praised for making Cassio charming and memorable, qualities not usually attributed to this character. So, clearly Tom’s ability to sympathize with the characters he portrays is ever present in his performance and transfers over to the audience. Reading Robert on page, you sense that he’s got this sort of macho stoicism complex and it makes it difficult for you to ever feel genuinely sorry for him. But the way Tom portrays him, this same macho stoicism starts to feel deeply like a persona that the character works hard to keep. It’s Robert’s mask, it’s how he protects himself, but when it becomes revealed to him that his wife is indeed cheating on him with his best friend, he cannot help but have a real reaction to it. And even then, tom finds a balance with his tears to form a character that is still trying to stay in control even as he’s breaking. Even as his world is falling apart, he doesn’t reveal his anger, just subtle, gradual tears that fill this silence between him and Emma. (Sidenote: Tom’s pauses and silences are never just that; he fills them in with an expression, an emotion or even an open mouth and raised eyebrows in his stillness). I’d also like to add that my brother hadn’t read the play, but by the end of the performance he asked, “did Robert really cheat on Emma or was he just saying that?” In the script, of course it is never confirmed for sure, but we take it as a fact, as the truth of the matter. But the way Tom plays him, you feel sorry for him, and you do really start to wonder what if this is also part of this persona, this reputation that Robert has built for himself? Robert seems to be precisely the kind of character who would tell his wife that HE’S been cheating on her when it is revealed to him that SHE’S been cheating on him; just to seem invulnerable, just so that no one can sense him breaking. 

One of my favorite uses of both the revolving stage and the third “other” on stage was the scene when Emma and Jerry are in their flat and Robert revolves around the stage sitting in a chair, holding his daughter. This was by far my favorite scene, and it isn’t even part of the script and it isn’t even technically Robert’s scene. But it adds another revelatory layer to what lies underneath Robert’s persona. Here is a father, holding onto his child, laying his cheek against her forehead. His expression is tranquil, but you sense a sadness in it, a sort of hidden worry. He’s holding her tight, and at one point, he looks down at her then lays his cheek back against her head, and in this moment, it feels as if he’s trying to protect her from the world, from himself, from his and her mother’s mistakes. He cares and he cares deeply, even if his conversation with Jerry says otherwise. This isn’t just a betrayal happening between three people, the consequences of it become the children’s problem. They are involved in a way that they never asked to be, and suddenly, you have a clear picture of who the real victim is ... it’s not Robert, it’s not Emma, and it’s not Jerry ... it’s their children. Of course, I can’t ever really know what or how Tom felt about this, but I sensed that there must have been something of himself directly in this scene. He is a child of divorce himself and he’s talked briefly in the past about how that affected him and shaped him and even that acting became his escape at a young age as a consequence of his parent’s separation. You know when people ask “if you could go back and visit your younger self what would you say?” In that scene, I felt as if this little girl was representative of Tom’s younger self, on a personal level. And this must’ve contributed to the way he approached this moment; it was deeply felt and incredibly heartbreaking. 

The dinner scene: 

There isn’t much I can say of this iconic melon and prosciutto dinner scene that hasn’t already been said. From the Evening Standard: There’s a brilliant scene that demonstrates [Tom’s] usually under-exploited flair for comedy. With emphasis on UNDER-EXPLOITED please exploit it PLEASE DO you won’t be sorry, clearly. He’s funny without trying to be, he imitates Jerry’s laugh sarcastically and the audience breaks into full on resounding laughter, even his pauses show a comedically reserved anger as he stares at Jerry with wide eyes and a haunting smile. All this passive aggressiveness being so much more comedic than it really ought to be and you start to wonder how Jerry is just sat there without a clue. Also, throughout this scene, there were moments where tom’s eyes twitched as you sensed Robert’s rage build up. Just like this, just like with here:

And I don’t know if this is involuntary on tom’s part or not (I think it must have been), but it added so much to the heat of the scene. 

1968: 

My goodness, even the ending was laden with creative choice that veered off script, again, in a way that only made it better. In the very final bit of the very last scene, Robert is supposed to clasp Jerry's shoulder, briefly, turns, leaves the room. Emma moves towards the door. Jerry grasps her arm. She stops still. They stand still, looking at each other. Robert is meant to leave the room before Emma gives in, but he doesn’t. In this production, Robert grabs Emma’s hand as he’s leaving the room. Jerry grabs her other hand quickly and Robert stops, facing the direction of what would be the door to exit. Emma looks at Jerry and all three of them are connected, literally arm in arm.  They stand there motionless. A portrait of Betrayal ... if Harold Pinter’s Betrayal was to be painted on a canvas, I truly think this final moment of this final scene would have been it ... the perfect summation, and this production in itself plays out as if a work of art had come to life. 

Stage door: 

So, yes, I did get a picture with Tom. It was very brief, because I was very shy and honestly, I expected nothing less of myself. Now, I don’t have twitter or Instagram and I don’t post any pictures of myself online, so I have completely cropped myself out of my picture with Tom. And I know this means people might think I was lying, but that doesn’t matter to me. You can choose to believe me or you can choose not to, I can’t really convince you of this, nor do I really even wish to. You can still kind of see my shoulder and my purse strap and burgundy/ maroon scarf (I wore burgundy on purpose because I was hoping to match up with Tom in his burgundy jumper, but alas, it was pretty cold outside and his coat was buttoned up). Before he stepped out, I had this simple little gif/interview related gift I wanted to give him. I kept taking it out of my purse and putting it back in until I finally decided that I was an idiot and if I gave Tom this gift, he’d think I was dumb so, I put it away. Now, of course, I live with the regret that I didn’t give it to him in my lack of confidence. But when I came up to him, I said “hi” he said “hello, how are you?” and then like a frantically shy girl, I quickly handed him my program then asked “can I take a photo with you?” he said “yea, sure” and I handed him the phone (again frantically) and he took the picture. It was incredibly brief, but I will say this, he definitely IS in fact even more beautiful in person.. somehow, he just is. We all know how beautiful Tom’s speaking voice is, but he’s also very soft-spoken and his voice sounds like that of someone who can do no harm. And I’ll also say this, as I walked off onto the other side of the street after having taken my picture with Tom, I remembered this quote of his that I read before: It’s not that you change but people around you change and that takes some getting used to. It has to do with visibility and anonymity. It’s odd. There’s a before-and-after. Before is you walk into a room and you meet someone and they don’t know you and you don’t know them and you get to know each other. The after is you walk into a room and you meet someone and they know who you are and you don’t know them and that interaction is changed as you get to know each other. Off of me briefly meeting him and just standing on the other side seeing him meet other fans, you definitely get this sense of an attempt at normalcy from him. He approaches you the way you approach him, if you’re shy, he’s not making as much eye contact and he seems to be just really humble as if he’s thinking “you need not be shy of me, but how can I possibly convince you of that?” If you talk with him, he talks back, he holds a normal if even brief conversation with you (although the security guards ask the fans to be mindful of those behind them that also want to meet Tom). So yea, I wish I was confident enough to tell him how creative and artistic and heartfelt this production and his performance were and how lucky I felt to have been a part of his audience, but I’m happy to have even met him at all. 

Some other things from when I stood on the other side of the street after my picture: This guy standing on the other side with us shouted “TOM YOU’RE CLASSICALLY HANDSOME” and Tom made this face, this questioning expression with a smile and said “thanks” or “thanks, man.” A white car (maybe a taxi?? drove by the stage door and stopped, did a double take, I guess trying to figure out what this crowd was queued up for on both ends of the street (or maybe just in awe of Tom if they knew who Tom was. Who knows?) and Tom leaned his head over while signing and said “Hello” with this big, calm smile on his face as if to say he completely understood the hilarity of the situation. 

There's a bit in the BBC Only Artists radio interview between Tom and Nicholas Britell where Britell talks about the odd feeling of being a composer when you know there were all these greats before you and Tom says "Well, at this point, we're all just remixing; we're all sampling and remixing. It's all been done." If this production of Betrayal can be considered a remix to the script, it would definitely be better than the original. So that was my not-at-all brief account of Betrayal + stage door and if I had the chance to go see this play again, I would do so, over and over and over again and I don’t think I’d ever really get tired of it to be honest.