#idk what’s wrong with me; maybe i need to eat better but it just makes me feel bad :(
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now i’m getting up and leeeeeeavin
#weezer#rivers cuomo#i can’t tell who that is lwk#someone please tell me#AM IN AP PHYSICS#update am on the bus now bc my teacher was talking and i forgot i was posting.#it’s really hot right now in california; today it os#93!!!! it’s so hot and i have to walk a bit frommmy stop to my house so it really sucks but it’s okay.#anyways my physics class is like. weird idk how to explain#my teacher; even though he’s nice; talks a LOT which is bad since i’m bad at science and need all the class time i can get#i’m sorry mr chang i don’t care too much about how you were in soccer as a kid#LIKE TEACH ME PHYSIXS KING.#he does science olympiad so maybe i’ll ask about joining ?#that could be super fun! i’m gonna really try my best in that class#i really want his letter of recommendation; but he’s only giving it to the top 4 people in his class! i’m so worried but it’s okay.#IVE GOT THIS.#anyways my tummy really hurts#idk what’s wrong with me; maybe i need to eat better but it just makes me feel bad :(#it okay.
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🤞
#exams did go fairly well#hopefully nothing worse than a B but i think an A is certainly possible in at least one of them#so hopefully 🥹🥹#i did study quite a bit not as much as i hoped for but a step up from my lack of effort the last few weeks#so hopefully i can get back to better routines now#i mean i do know probably many didn't study at all for these exams as they were not that serious#buuut if you want a good grade i feel like you have to at least i studied for like 2-3 days altough i would have liked to study for a week#also my schedule is just insane i think but then maybe it's just me idk#my time management is not the best but i still wonder how others would do with so many classes and extra activities#i have like 20 classes this semester + 2 exams i intend to take extra#i'm not attending all of them that wouldn't be possible and i'm not sure i can take all the exams but i'm happy if I manage like 17 or so#but like a normal amount is 10 classes a semester in my country but in reality most students don't take this many either#well i'm basically enrolled in two programms atm so there's that ig#but often i'm just wondering when i'm gonna study#i also play tennis a lot and competiting for my club (at a rec level)#and i'm training for this entrance exam for sports (i'm currently studying teaching with other subjects + English)#altough this is making me question if i'm fit for this everyday 🫠 i'm fairly good at 2 things ball sports and just like general athleticism#we also need to dance do gymnastics and swim i struggle with all of them#i'm not fast enough at swimming and my technique is bad i can't even do a cartwheel and a bad dancer 😭#the requirements are really high though i mean when i think of people i know from tennis or football no one would even get there closely#like i was the fastest at my former football club (and at every uni football course) and i might just barely cut it for sprinting#and i'm really quite athletic when playing tennis my opponents always notice and coordinated in sports as well#but somehow coordination for gymnastics is not the same?😅 how can i be so graceful playing tennis and most sports with balls but so clumsy#otherwise like doing a handstand... no balance 🥲#but anyways i also do like general fitness stuff going to the gym running a bit and trying to eat healthy#but my studying hours are very limited often tmrw i have uni from half 2 until 8pm in the evening and i have a preparation course for sports#before uni starts at half 10#i just really get the urge to drop everything sometimes 🥲 i also wanna see friends again more not just at uni and in the bus#i miss my semesters with 10 courses a week it was beautiful so much freedom and free time 🥹#uni was so enjoyable back then... don't get me wrong i enjoy most of my uni courses what i not enjoy is not having any time to myself
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sniffles. okay. yay <3
#sorry am suddenly Going Thru It ignore me lol#and i like this line a lot it makes me feel better#brambles#(to summarize i was feeling like maybe i am weird or crazy for treating fictional the characters like they are real because it makes#me feel good. even tho that is probably a normal thing that normal people do#and then feeling like oh thats a stupid thing to be upset about. you idiot go get some real problems#even tho like with the “i need to eat something or hedwyn will be sad” that wasnt really like a haha funny joke like i am thinking about#hedwyn and i think he would be sad and worried about me that im not eating enough and that genuinely motivates me to take care of myself#and i talk to them in my head and they are real To Me in the sense that i treat them like theyre real like i talk to them and imagine#scenarios in my head and stuff#and thats probably just a normal coping mechanism but if i posted something like#“i was talking to gilman the other day” people would think im crazy and Weird!!!!!!!#and then what if its just a stupid unhealthy coping mechanism because im a friendless losr!!!!!!!!! and then that sometimes leads#to me forcing myself to Not think about them at all. which makes me miserable#that wasnt rly related but like half of me is like wow youre weird and crazy what is wrong with you! and the other halfs like nthis is norm#this is called Liking A Character A Lot and is Normal#anyways. yeag#and like. thats not a thing thats nto a real problem. why am i getting uupset about t. its after 9pm i should stop fretting#its not a real problem its not a real problem im just being like wird and idk ableist. or something#shutting up now
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how it feels to randomly get rly overwhelmed and frustrated and bitchy and feel like youre going insane
#like its so dumb i shouldnt be this upset its not just rhe stupid drawing everything is literally wrong . i need everythinf 2 stop 4ever#i want to eat something savory but i cant bc rly what i want is a spambowl but i cant fucking make spambowl bc everybody in the house will#lose their shit that i didnt offer to make any for them <- uncharitable. at most lamp would make a joke abt it. but i also just dont want to#cook. but nobody else can make spam bowls#well lamp can but they prefer when i make them. but we have 4 pieces of leftover spam i need to use up bc theyre jusr in a ziploc#and thats enough for A spambowl. but iii dont feel like it#it wouldnt even be that like. actually no incouldnt thered be too much rice#we only have boil in a bag rn. and 1 bag is for 2#so if i want spambowl id Have to share w lamp which i dont mind its easy 2 like. yk. 2 spambowl is what i usually make so i can do it pretty#easy. but im like om the verge of tears for no reason so i cant be in the kitchen#'for no reason' well my periods coming up inliterally got rhe notif for it. thats the reason#i need to get back on t i need to get a job i need to graduate. slamming my head into the wall#i feel like now its been too long since i worked and nobody will hire me . man#but i also like. idk i. id probably be better if i had a job bc id have to be but i feel like i cant keeo anything stable#i cant even keep my fucking sleep schedule steady i get it fixed for a week and then i fuck it up#im so tired i wish things were easy. whateber man . i think maybe i just need to sleep
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die
#i know instagram doesn't represent ppls real lives#but that doesnt change the fact that i don't have many friends who care about me#and almost everyone my year is graduating and celebrating#i am so fucking lonely. i don't think any of my school friends miss me#24 days self-harm free but i might say fuck it and relapse tonight#why though? i guess i just need some way to express how im feeling inside. or maybe it's to punish myself or because im feeling worthless#it's been over a year now since i first reached out to professionals for help for this depressive episode#over a year and im still as lost as ever. i know im doing so much better than i was but i still feel so awful every single day#i feel like i still need to be doing a lot better before i can go back to school#i feel so stuck and hopeless. i know I've made so much progress but i don't feel as if ill be able to make anymore progress#i feel like I've hit a wall and ive tried everything#my therapist told me to just keep eating sleeping and getting movement in everyday and be patient#ive been going on walks every day for like 2 weeks now and i dont feel any difference#seeing my psychiatrist wednesday and im hoping she will have an idea of what to do#i hope it's not just slightly adjusting my meds or even just trying a different antidepressant (not many left i haven't tried)#i also worry that im not bad enough for more intensive treatments like ECT or ketamine#if she tells me that i just need more therapy or another group i might just fucking end it#idk like i kinda feel like im fine and there's nothing wrong with me but at the same time i always am feeling so fucking depressed#i have had so much improvement but honestly part of me wishes i was still actively suicidal#idk what to do
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need a rafe fic please where reader is part of the pogues, her and rafe have been on and off for forever obviously due to everything he’s done but deep down he’s so down bad for reader and maybe she’s pregnant instead of sarah and he doesn’t find out until morocco because the pogues are hovering over her idk angst fluff whatever you feel!!!
Two lines — Rafe Cameron
Summary : Fem!Reader is pregnant with Rafe’s baby, but he doesn't know until pope accidentally mentions her baby (season 4 ep 10 spoilers!! ⚠️)
Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader
Warnings : mentions of vomiting & language (english is not my first language)
A/N : as requested 😉 hope u like it anon!
Two lines, and the father was long gone, off doing god knows what. Rafe was the last guy I'd hooked up with, and even after we broke up, we somehow kept finding our way back to each other, especially after the Kildare Enduro. He knew no one else could satisfy me the way he did, and so it became this endless cycle, break up, hook up, make up. What Rafe didn’t know was that I was pregnant. I hadn’t planned on telling him, at least not until we made up.
There I was, back on Rafe’s boat with my friends, setting off to Morocco in search of the Blue Crown and Chandler Groff. My friends had locked Rafe up, tying him up in a small room, just in case. We all knew better than to trust Rafe Cameron, not after everything he’d done.
I walked into the dimly lit room, carrying a tray with a glass of water, a plate of food, and a couple of aspirin for his black eye. The sight of him, bruised, tugged at something deep inside me.
“Here,” I murmured, setting the tray down on the table beside him. “I brought some aspirin, just in case you’re feeling dizzy or something…”
He snorted, cutting me off. “What? You’re just gonna throw it in my mouth like I’m a fuckin' seal?” He wasn’t exactly wrong, but his sharp tone made me bristle. “Nobody trusts you, Rafe,” I replied, my voice steady. “Not after what you did.”
His jaw tightened, and a flash of anger sparked in his eyes. “I saved your asses!” he shot back, his face flushing with frustration. “And not even a thank you was said.”
I took a slow breath, steadying myself. “I know, Rafe. I know,” I said softly. “Thank you, really.” I offered him a small, sincere smile.
He looked at me for a moment, his gaze softening just slightly. “You trust me, right?” he asked, his voice quieter, a bit more vulnerable. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pull he always seemed to have on me.
“Yeah,” I admitted, almost reluctantly. God, he knew exactly how to get to me.
He looked at the ropes binding his wrists and nodded toward them. “Then untie me. Get this shit off me.”
I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt but holding my ground. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my resolve. “Just… eat the food. We wouldn’t want you dying in here.” With that, I turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind me, leaving me with a sigh that I didn’t even realize I’d been holding back.
As I stepped out of the room, I was met by Kiara’s anxious expression, her arms folded tightly as she waited. The moment she saw me, her face softened slightly, though worry still flickered in her eyes.
"How’d it go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid to hear the answer.
I shrugged, trying to mask the mixture of emotions stirring inside me. "Same old Rafe," I replied, keeping my tone light, but my gaze drifted, unable to meet hers directly.
Kiara studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Soo... did you tell him?"
I frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Tell him what?"
She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "That you’re pregnant, with his child."
Oh, right. That one.
I swallowed, feeling a sudden knot in my stomach. "Uh—no, not yet," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I just… I don’t know how he’d react." My hands found each other, my fingers nervously fidgeting as I tried to imagine how that conversation would even go. "What if he doesn’t want to keep the baby?"
Kiara sighed softly and reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her warmth grounded me, pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. "Look," she said firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. "You have us. We’ll help you through every single part of this. That’s what friends are for, right?"
I looked at her, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Her words held a strength that I so desperately needed. "Yeah," I whispered, a small smile breaking through my worry. "Thank you, Kie."
She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and for a moment, the uncertainty and fear faded. In her embrace, I felt a flicker of hope—a reminder that I wouldn’t have to face this alone.
After battling fierce winds and waves, we finally arrived in Essaouira. The coastal city spread before us, its whitewashed buildings with blue shutters gleaming under softened storm light. Narrow streets twisted through the medina, lined with shops selling handmade crafts and drenched in a timeless, rustic charm.
The Atlantic crashed against the ancient medina walls, sturdy and weathered, while blue fishing boats bobbed in the harbor—just like the skiffs in the Outer Banks. The salty air and easy warmth of the locals, the slow rhythm of the sea, and the hum of daily life brought back memories of home, as if Essaouira was a Moroccan echo of the Outer Banks.
We continued to wander through the narrow streets of Essaouira, the sound of bustling market vendors and the distant call of seagulls filling the air. John B and Sarah led the way, their steps light and carefree, like they had no care in the world. Following behind them was Cleo, Pope, and Kiara, their conversations flowing easily as they walked, with JJ and I bringing up the rear. But it was Rafe who trailed behind, his presence almost ghostlike, like a lost puppy, following silently in our wake.
As we strolled through the maze of alleyways, I felt a sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. It was sudden, and intense, as if something in my stomach was threatening to rise up. I let out a soft huff, pressing my hand to my stomach, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling of sickness.
JJ, who had been walking beside me, must've noticed the change in my posture because he looked at me with concern. "Y/N?" he called, his voice laced with worry.
"Oh god," I muttered under my breath, the nausea worsening, my head spinning.
"What's wrong? You okay?" JJ asked, his voice low, concern evident on his face.
I shook my head, barely able to focus on him. "No... I need to sit," I said, my voice strained. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn’t stop moving.
JJ quickly guided me to a pile of carpets that were stacked outside a shop. The soft fabric felt like a relief under me as I sat down, trying to steady my breathing. The rest of the group quickly noticed, and soon I was surrounded by their concerned faces. Kiara dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes searching mine, her hand resting on my knee in a comforting gesture.
"What's up? What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern.
"I'm really nauseous," I managed to answer, my hand covering my mouth, just in case. I didn’t trust myself to hold it down any longer.
Cleo, who had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. "She probably needs food. It’s been like two days..or what?" she said, her voice tinged with practicality.
"Yeah, the baby’s probably hungry too," Pope added, offering a casual shrug, as if it was just an obvious conclusion.
I froze, my stomach twisting. The mention of "the baby" caught me off guard, and suddenly, all eyes turned to me. Rafe, who had been hanging back, still distant, looked like he was suddenly paying attention. His gaze shifted from me to Pope and then back to me, his brow furrowing.
"What baby?" Rafe asked, his voice sharp, as if something about the situation didn't sit right with him.
Oh god, here we go.
Pope went silent, and I could feel the tension rise in the air, thickening around us. I glanced up at Rafe, who was now standing a few feet away, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. His eyes narrowed as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.
"No, seriously, what baby?" he repeated, his voice insistent, even stern now.
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. There was no easy way to say it, but it had to be said. "I’m pregnant, Rafe," I said quietly, locking eyes with him. "With your baby."
The words hung in the air between us, like they were too heavy to carry. For a long moment, Rafe didn’t say anything. He just stood there, silent, his expression unreadable. The others were watching him closely, waiting for a reaction, but he remained eerily still.
I could feel the tension growing, an awkwardness settling in the space around us, as if everything had just shifted. My hands were shaking slightly, not from the nausea anymore, but from the weight of what had just been revealed. And Rafe, he was just staring at me, his mouth slightly parted but no words coming out.
"Go get her something to eat," Rafe suddenly snapped, his voice cutting through the tension that still hung thick in the air.
Without another word, he dug through his small waist bag, the leather creaking under his movements. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but then, with a small grunt of satisfaction, he pulled out a wad of cash—several bills, all stacked neatly together. As he unfolded them, I saw that he had about $400 in his hand, a small fortune for street vendors in Essaouira.
"Wait what?" JJ’s voice broke the moment of disbelief. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "They don’t take dollars, you idiot—"
"I said go," Rafe interrupted sharply, his tone hardening. There was no room for argument, no sign of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was trying to regain some control over the situation, and in doing so, he completely dismissed JJ’s protests. His words were a command, not a suggestion.
The rest of us exchanged uneasy glances, the shift in Rafe’s demeanor catching everyone off guard. But without further discussion, John B, Sarah, Cleo, Pope, and Kiara reluctantly turned to start walking back toward the market, their steps unsure but obedient. JJ hesitated for a moment, clearly frustrated by Rafe’s abruptness, but eventually followed along as well.
Rafe’s eyes lingered on me for a second, his expression unreadable. He stood still for a moment longer, his gaze momentarily drifting over to the group before returning to me. He didn’t say anything else. His words had been clear, and I could tell that something about the situation had shifted for him.
"I don’t care whether you want the baby or not, but I’m keeping them," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The truth was, I had made up my mind. I had to keep the baby, and nothing anyone said or did would change that. Not even Rafe.
Rafe’s eyes widened at my declaration, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at me, his face unreadable. Then, he kneeled down, and he let out a sharp breath. "Hey, hey, hey—who said I don’t want to keep the baby?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying tension to it, as if my words had hit a nerve.
I blinked, caught off guard by his response. The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and I wasn’t sure what to say next. His eyes were fixed on me now, intense, searching. It felt like something was shifting between us, and I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it.
"We’ll take care of them," Rafe continued, his tone softening just a fraction. "I’ll be with you throughout the whole journey, Y/N. You’re not doing this alone." His voice held a kind of resolve, as if he had already decided, as if he was offering something that felt almost too good to be true.
For a split second, it felt like the world around me had stopped moving. The noise from the market faded into the background, and all I could hear was the steady beat of my own heart. The words he said felt surreal, like they were echoing in my head. "I’ll be with you, 'aight?"
I blinked again, almost feeling like I was in a dream, like I had slipped into some alternate reality where everything suddenly made sense. But when I looked at Rafe, his gaze never wavering from mine, I felt a wave of disbelief wash over me. It felt like a nap dream, a momentary illusion that would disappear when I woke up.
"What?" I said, my voice coming out in a whisper of disbelief. "Sorry—"
Rafe seemed unbothered by my shock. He placed his hands on my knees, his movements deliberate. "You heard me, Y/N." His words were firm, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in them.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the weight of what he had just said settle in my chest. It was almost too much to process. I had always expected Rafe to pull away, to make this harder for me. But here he was, standing before me with something I hadn’t expected, a promise. A promise to be there. A promise to face this together.
My mind spun, trying to make sense of it. I glanced away for a moment, as if hoping the world would shift and reveal the truth. But when I looked back at him, his expression hadn’t changed. He was still looking at me with those steady, unwavering eyes.
"You’re serious," I murmured more to myself than to him.
Rafe didn’t flinch. "Yeah," he said simply, as if there was nothing more to discuss, as if the decision had already been made. "I’ll be there for you. For us."
For the first time, I didn’t know what to say. My heart was still racing, but for a different reason now. There was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to hold on to this moment, to trust that things might actually be okay. But there was also a part of me that was terrified of what this all meant, of how my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t predict.
I stared at him in utter disbelief, barely able to process the reality unfolding before me. It felt like some kind of miracle. My vision began to blur as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the emotions welling up and spilling over, probably caused by the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn’t stop them. I tried to blink them away, but they only gathered faster, until a warm tear rolled down my cheek.
Rafe’s expression softened when he noticed, his gaze never leaving mine. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close in a way that felt so natural, so steady. He didn’t hesitate for a second, and his embrace was warm, reassuring, holding me together when I felt like I was on the edge of falling apart, and God, it felt good to be back in his arms.
His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back as he murmured, “We’re gonna be parents.” His voice was soft, filled with awe and disbelief, as if he was speaking the words for the first time and couldn’t quite believe them either.
I nodded against his chest, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. The weight of his words settled over us, the reality of what lay ahead, and as much as I wanted to be brave, I couldn’t shake the fear that started to consume my mind. I let out a shaky breath, my voice coming out in a whisper, “I’m scared, Rafe.” The words felt small, vulnerable, but they were the truth.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs brushed away the stray tears still slipping down my cheeks. “I know,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I am scared too.” There was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own, a glimmer of uncertainty about the unknown future that lay ahead.
“But we’re in this together,” he continued, his voice growing stronger, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was reassuring me. “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s coming… but I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, closing the space between us. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”
His words washed over me, filling some hollow place I hadn’t realized was empty. In that moment, his presence felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my fears, giving me a glimpse of something that felt almost like hope. The future was terrifying, yes, but it felt a little less daunting with him by my side.
I looked up at him, my voice steadying as I replied, “I’m glad it’s you.” And as I said the words, I realized just how much I meant them.
He offered me a small, crooked smile, a warmth in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. “We’re gonna figure this out together,” he promised. “One step at a time.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. And in that moment, held in his arms, I felt a little less afraid.
Suddenly, as if on cue, the rest of the group appeared, each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. It was almost comical, watching them return all at once, each of them holding something different, John B with a handful of pita bread, Cleo balancing a bowl of yogurt, JJ carrying bottled water, and Sarah clutching a small bag of fruit, including a shiny red apple that she immediately extended toward me.
“Here,” Sarah said softly, her face easing with relief as she offered the apple. I took it gratefully, feeling the cool skin of the fruit in my hand, and took a tentative bite. The crisp, sweet flavor flooded my senses, soothing the nausea that had been twisting in my stomach. They watched with eager anticipation, and as they saw me begin to nibble, their worried expressions started to relax.
“Feeling better now?” Pope asked, his voice gentle but laced with concern as he studied my face.
I swallowed another bite and nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. “Yeah, yeah… thank you,” I replied, glancing at each of them.
They exchanged glances, visibly relieved, and a sense of warmth spread through me as I looked around at their familiar faces, each one showing their own brand of care. I realized then just how much I’d come to rely on them, not just as friends, but as family. I felt a comforting wave of gratitude for each of them, knowing they’d been there for me without question, supporting me in ways I hadn’t even thought possible.
As I took another sip of water, Rafe moved a little closer to me, his hand resting gently on my thigh. His touch was subtle, but the gesture was enough to let me know he was still there, holding his promise to stay by my side. There was something calming in his presence now, something steadying that I hadn’t noticed before.
The others began chatting among themselves, sharing their own stories of haggling with the vendors, laughing about who’d paid the most for what they’d brought. They were giving Rafe and me a moment, I realized, a chance to talk without the pogues’ attention fixed on us.
Rafe leaned down slightly, his face level with mine, his voice low and steady. “You really okay?” he asked, his hand still warm on my thigh.
I took a deep breath, the initial dizziness and nausea fading, leaving behind a feeling of clarity I hadn’t expected. “Yeah, I think so." I paused, looking up into his eyes.
He smiled, a soft, almost vulnerable expression, and for a moment, he seemed like a different Rafe—one who wasn’t weighed down by pride or bravado. “That's good” His voice was filled with a sincerity that softened something inside me. "Don't want our little one and her mommy to starve, do we?" He smiled making me let out a low chuckle.
In this quiet moment, I knew, deep down, that I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the father of my child. Everything just felt right. Despite all the chaos, the ups and downs, there was a steady comfort in knowing me and Rafe would face it together.
likes and reblogs are appreciated! 🐇
>゜))彡 taglist — @rafecamerons-national-anthem @ts1mp0ne @vheavxly @enjoymyloves @tv-girllover07 @husherstan @smthabsolutelyunhinged @multisection @onlyrealjoy @hoelesslyt @nina357
#outer banks#rafe cameron#netflix#drew starkey#rafe cameron imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff
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Show Me*
Summary: The second part to Teach Me*
Class is in session, and this time, Harry needs a little help exploring his favorite kinks. Like...how to get somebody off underneath a table.
And you're more than happy to lend a helping...hand.
Word Count: 6k
“So…how did she like it?”
Harry laughs as he slips out of his car. “Wow, I think that’s a new record. Waited a whole thirty seconds to ask me.”
“Bite me,” you retort as he makes his way toward where you’re waiting on the sidewalk. “Well?”
He shrugs, hands shoving into his pockets. “Dunno. We never got to it.”
“So, just straight to the fucking, then, huh?” you question. “No foreplay at all? I mean, hey…if that’s what she’s into…great. But, personally, I think the foreplay is the best—”
“All right,” he interjects with a wicked yet amused grin. “That’s not what I meant. She got called into work before we could.”
“Oh.” You offer him a pitiful frown. “Sorry, bud.”
“Bite me,” he mimics as he brushes past you. “S’fine. It’ll happen when it happens.”
“That’s the spirit,” you encourage as you fall in-line beside him. “Gives you more time to find your nerve.”
“Yeah,” he agrees quietly, glancing down at the concrete. “Or more time to practice…other things.”
“Other things?”
“Yeah,” he says again, one brow raising as he looks back over. “You know, like…how to eat ass.”
Finally catching onto his joke, you groan and reach out to shove him away from you, watching as he stumbles with a laugh. “Fucking hilarious.”
“Listen, I was actually looking forward to it,” he continues, hand over his heart as if disappointed. “I bet you really know how to eat some ass.”
“Ha…ha.”
“What? You do, don’t you? Cause of…Eric?”
The familiar but dreaded name sends a shiver down your spine as you recoil away and scrunch your nose in horror. “Ew.”
He looks proud. “Well? Am I wrong?”
“Yes,” you huff before sighing. “…no. But he wasn’t that great of a teacher, anyhow.”
“No fucking kidding,” Harry snorts with a smile. “You’re much better.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course,” he beams, reaching out for the door of the restaurant to swing it open. “After you.”
“As it should be,” you tease, winking to hint at the double entendre, and his eyes roll.
You find your large group of friends already gathered around a table near the back of the room, and quickly make your way over.
For the next few minutes, you all exchange pleasantries, catch-up, and tease Harry about his failed attempt at mating.
He’s a good sport about it, flipping everyone off with a smile before changing the subject.
Because, despite the jokes, all of you know that Harry could have anybody he wanted. Maybe his experience in the bedroom is lacking but that’s only because it was a personal choice that he made. And everybody knows it. As far as charm and seduction go? Harry Styles is a king.
Perhaps even a God.
…no, that’s giving him too much credit.
You shake your head, clearing the thought away as you listen to your friends gossip about the newest celebrity drama and reality TV scandals.
And you try to care. Really, you do.
But your mind keeps…drifting.
To Eric.
God, you could just kill Harry for re-planting that seed in your subconscious and reminding you of the worst mistake you’ve ever made.
Because there was a time when Eric was everything to you. When you were closer to him than you were to Harry. When you trusted him—completely—with your mind, soul, and body.
And of course, he just had to shit all over the self-growth and progress you’d made.
You feel your phone vibrate from its place on your thigh, and you glance down to see Harry’s name flashing across the screen.
Sneaking a curious sideways peek his way, you swipe up to read his text.
So…Pete Davidson is Kim Kardashian’s stepfather now? Am I hearing that right?
Confused, your brows pull together as you look over at him.
His explanation is to nod at your friends across the table with a smirk, and you laugh.
I don’t know, you type. I wasn’t listening.
Oh? Why not? This is fascinating stuff.
Idk. Just wasn’t.
Harry’s expression seems to fall as he studies you before his fingers are flying across the screen. You were thinking about Eric, weren’t you?
…nooooooo.
His eyes narrow.
So what if I was?
Bee…you can do better than that. Even in your head.
See, you say that, and yet…here I am.
Because you’re not doing better. You can…you just aren’t.
Yeah? And how exactly would I do better?
You catch the way his lips pull back into a Cheshire-like grin as he begins to type.
Well, you kind of already did do better. With me. The other day.
Swallowing a scoff, you type, That was only because I felt bad for you.
Think you felt a lot of things that day, Bee. But bad wasn’t one of them.
You toss him a playful glare. Are you ever gonna let that go?
Not likely. After all, you did promise me another lesson.
You don’t need another lesson, you just need to stop being so goddamn annoying.
Come on, you can’t deprive me now. Not when I know I have so much to learn.
Google it.
Ouch.
You’ll live.
It’s not living if it’s not with you.
This time, you do groan, and reach over to swat his arm. “Stop,” you hiss. “You really are fucking annoying.”
“Learned from the best,” he retorts, leaning closer to you in an attempt to conceal the conversation. “Learned a lot of things from you, actually.”
“Harry,” you huff again, but you’re smirking. “My god, you don’t really wanna learn how to eat ass do you?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t really know what I wanna learn. That’s why I need a teacher. To teach me what I want.”
You know he’s fucking with you. You can see it all over his face and yet, for some reason…your interest is piqued. “Thought that was a one-time deal.”
“It was,” he agrees. “But…the door to knowledge is never closed.”
He follows this up with a devious chuckle to let you know he’s teasing, and you nudge him again. “See? Annoying.”
For a moment, you both put the topic to bed and return to the conversation happening across the table.
But again, your mind wanders.
Wanders all the way back to your bedroom and the image of Harry’s curls wound around your knuckles.
You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about that afternoon quite a few times since it happened. After all, you’re only human. And Harry had done a rather excellent job. Sure, you’ve had a tad better. But for his first time…it wasn’t half bad.
And you’d waited to feel weird about it after the fact…but you never did. Which was strange. The two of you returned to your normal routine as if it had never happened.
And you were certainly glad for that. So why is it that now, as the opportunity for a relapse is placed so obviously in your lap, are you not repulsed by it?
Why is it that you haven’t immediately shut the idea down? Laughed it off? Why is it that you’re…considering it?
Again?
You almost want to shudder at the very thought, but as you look over to the chair beside you and take in Harry’s relaxed smile as he listens to your friends talk…something seems to shift.
You will admit, since your little…experiment…you’ve begun to equate those kinds of memories and feelings with Harry instead of Eric.
And that’s another thing you wouldn’t dare complain about. You like the idea of being able to associate pleasure with someone that makes you feel safe. Secure instead of unhinged.
And perhaps this is a huge mistake…but suddenly, you can’t seem to see the harm?
He gets to learn how to make a woman feel good and you get to erase Eric from your past permanently.
What could possibly be so wrong with that?
Subtly, you clear your throat as you turn your head to him, calling his attention away as he raises a brow.
“Okay, so…if I were to agree to another lesson…” you begin hesitantly as his eyes grow wide. “I’d need a little…information.”
He angles his body toward you as well, murmuring, “Yeah? Like what?”
You think for a moment. “I don’t know…what kinds of kinks do you have?”
“I don’t know,” he repeats smugly, nodding his chin at you. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to help me find out?”
You quickly glance across the table to make sure nobody is listening as you lean in and whisper, “Well…I don’t even know where to start with you. You’re a virgin, it’s hard.”
“I’m not a virgin,” he corrects with a scoff. “I just…haven’t done it a lot since the first time.”
“Mhm,” you snort. “Doesn’t change the fact that if you don’t know what you like, there’s no way I’ll know.”
He studies you for a second, seeming to think. “Well…why don’t you tell me what you like? Maybe I’ll get some ideas.”
You hesitate. What do you like? “Uh…okay. I mean, I like pretty much everything, I guess.”
“Yeah? Like what? Name something.”
Well…shit. “Um…I don’t know. Have you ever heard of…exhibitionism?”
He runs his tongue over his teeth in thought, brows lifting up with intrigue. “I’m 27, I’m not dead.”
“Hilarious.”
“Why? S’that something you’re into?”
You swallow but force a relaxed and nonchalant demeanor. “Kind of, yeah. Fun to play with what’s mine when anybody could see.”
He almost seems impressed, leaning back as he looks at you. Really looks at you. “You don’t fucking say.”
“Okay, don’t make it a whole thing,” you whisper urgently, already swatting at him in warning. “It was just an idea. We can always think of something—”
“Show me.”
You pause. “Show you…what?”
He nods his chin at you. “Show me how you’d play with what’s yours when anybody could see.”
Your expression falls. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” He nods. “I’m a vessel. Show me. Teach me.”
And maybe it’s the glass of wine offering you an extra ounce of courage, or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve already done this once before, or maybe it’s the fact that it’s Harry…
But whatever it is, you reach out, and smooth your palm along his upper thigh, just to watch his breath catch. “Are you sure?” you ask softly, careful to keep beneath the suspicion of the group across the table. “Because I need to know if you can…handle it.”
You feel him tense, his fingers flexing across the tablecloth as he regards you. “I’ll handle anything you want me to.”
Your hand drifts a little higher. “And you’ll sit here? And be a good student?”
He shoots you a coy smile. “The best.”
A little higher. “And you know your safe word?”
“‘Stop,’” he answers, teeth tugging on his bottom lip. “Don’t think I’ll need it, though.”
“You might.”
“Won’t.”
“Maybe.”
“No fucking way.”
You slow to a stop, centimeters away from the rather obvious dip in his pants. “Don’t say that. Just use it. If you need to.”
His expression softens. “I know, Bee. I will. Promise.”
“Good.” So, with that and a deep breath, you take the plunge, ghosting your touch over his covered cock.
And it’s different this time because it’s you touching him. It’s his body in your hands and this far exceeds your usual high-five.
You aren’t sure what you expected. You kind of already know he’s big from the few times you guys have gone swimming together. And he’s accidently brushed up against you before when scooting past you and worn sweatpants that did absolutely nothing to help him hide an erection (another reason why you’re never watching a Margot Robbie movie with him again).
But feeling it now…knowing exactly what this man is in possession of…feels forbidden.
You keep your expression stoic, refusing to give him the satisfaction of your awe as you watch the way his lashes flutter.
“Easy,” you warn in a delicate whisper. “Rule number one…make a sound and I stop.”
His teeth grit as he leans back against his seat. “Fine.”
“Good.” You bring your fingers together until you can cup your palm around him, adding just the slightest amount of pressure before glancing back at your friends.
They’re laughing about something, you don’t really know what, but you smile and nod along as if absolutely enthralled.
And as the seconds pass, you feel Harry grow harder in your hand. Needier. He shifts at least three times a minute, clearly struggling to keep from bucking up into your touch.
You’re being as easy on him as you can. A few squeezes, a bit of palming, and some light brushing just to tease him.
He’s gripping onto the edge of the table so tight, you’re surprised it’s not shaking. But he’s restraining himself, as best he can, and you feel oddly…proud.
You maneuver a little closer, head dipping until your lips are close to his ear. To anyone else, it might look like you're merely trying to be heard over the loud music.
But Harry knows better.
"This...is where the fun is," you tell him. "Knowing it would be so easy to have you coming in your pants. Right here, right now. In front of everybody."
You add a bit more pressure and watch the way the veins in his arms begin to strain against his skin. The way the muscles in his jaw constrict and the way his Adam's apple bobs when he swallows.
“You feel it, don’t you?” you murmur as his fingers begin to scratch down the table, desperate to grab onto something. “Feel what it does to you…to be played with. Just like this…exactly like you wanted.”
He sucks in a quiet gasp for air as his head threatens to drop back, little curls falling across his forehead.
He’s not stopping you. And you know he won’t. He’ll happily let himself go right into his trousers, in front of the whole goddamn resturant. Right here, right now.
But that wasn’t apart of the lesson.
So, just when you can feel his resolve begin to crumble…you stop.
He exhales a long, deep breath, slumping into the chair as if completely drained of all energy, and you almost want to laugh.
“So…what did you learn?” you ask softly as you lean back in.
“That Eric’s a fucking ass,” he replies instantly, shooting you a lazy grin. “And that we’re definitely not kids in a tree house anymore.”
“No kidding,” you agree. “Anything else?”
He mulls this over, eyeing you closely. “That I think I’m more of a…hands-on learner.”
Your brow raises. “What does that mean?”
His answer comes in the form of his touch, hand outstretching for your leg, long fingers brushing across the hem of your dress. “It means…I need to see for myself.”
He pauses down by your knee in order to allow you the time to understand and either accept him or reject him.
But you simply blink, focus falling from his face down to your lap. “Ah…I suppose that makes sense.”
His lips roll into his mouth. “Mhm…what do you say, Teach?”
Your nose scrunches at the nickname but you smile. “I say practice makes perfect.”
And he wastes no more time in slipping beneath the fabric to travel up your thigh and toward your hips.
Now, you’re the one forced into restraint, a gasp immediately hitching in your throat as he brushes his thumb down the front of your underwear.
It instantly brings you back to the last time, and his touch, while familiar and oddly reassuring, makes your head spin.
You slowly look over at him, taking note of the way he’s so goddamn proud of your reaction, and the way he returns his attention to your friends.
Exactly like you had.
Because this is the lesson after all. The concept of teasing and torture and watching somebody come undone so easily.
The idea of getting caught.
You could tell from the moment you reached for him that this was something he was into. But even when he was trying not to thrust up into your hand, it was obvious that his interest lied with you and your pleasure.
With the idea of putting you under this sort of duress.
He really is a sadist.
Good to know.
"How's this for practice?" you hear him murmur as you become vaguely aware of the way he's scooted his chair closer to you.
You open your mouth, lips parted and ready to respond, but you can feel the beginning of a whimper threatening its escape.
So you swallow—thickly—and nod your head once.
"Good, then?" he asks, and you have to fight the urge to cross your legs over his hand. "Bee...I need you to speak."
But you can't fucking speak. The pressure of his touch has increased, and it feels so...so fucking good. "It's....yeah. Fine. It's fi—"
Suddenly, you gasp, and thankfully, it's lost beneath the jazz music still loudly playing through the restaurant.
But it's not lost on Harry, and you watch his smug smile expand as his teasing begins to slow. "Uh-uh," he tuts softly. "You know the rules. Make a sound...and I stop."
You exhale the singular word, "Har," and he hums.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. What?"
You have to physically fight the urge to whimper with desperation. Truth be told, he’s hardly even doing anything, but his hands…
You’d fucked up by sneaking a glance down at the tattooed skin disappearing beneath your dress. Because it’s sinful to feel the cold, metal of his rings brush against your warm thighs. Sinful to know he’s pressing his thumb into you just to feel the way you’ve begun to soak the material he’s so effortlessly playing with.
He…is sinful.
And then suddenly…his touch disappears. Retreats from between your legs as your mouth just about drops open.
And you could cry at the loss of contact because it felt so safe and so exciting. Teasing or not, it was so fucking good, and you hate him for making you go without.
But then…you learn why.
His fingers move to wrap around the edge of your seat, getting a good grip on it…before he yanks.
Your chair is forced closer to his, squeaking against the floor as he begins to smirk victoriously.
“There,” he declares quietly before his hand is returning to your lap. “Much better, don’t you think?”
And it is better because now he’s so much closer, and has so much more room, and you’re so fucking close to just throwing in the towel and hurling yourself at him. Friends be damned.
“Speak, Bee,” he repriminds after a minute of your silence, and instantly, you begin to squirm.
“Har,” you whisper, both begging him for his mercy and for his cruelty.
“What?” he replies evenly. “What do you need, hm?”
You, you think. “Can’t…s’just…”
“Come on,” he tsks. “Think you can do better than that, can’t you?”
But you can’t.
“Please,” you try again, a faint request.
“Please…what?”
“Har…”
“Uh-uh. Tell me. What?”
Again, you swallow, willing yourself to stay silent. "Har—”
“No.”
“Harry—"
"...Harry?"
This time, it's Charlie calling his name, and immediately, you go deathly still as you turn back toward your friends.
However, Harry is calm as he raises a brow. "Yeah?"
For a moment, the three across from you simply stare, rather curiously before Charlie says, "Oh, I was just asking how Tina is?"
You could almost moan with relief.
“She’s good, yeah,” Harry answers cooly, pointer finger hooking around the edge of the material on your thighs to pull it aside. “Yeah, real good. Been working a lot, so I haven’t seen her much.”
“Aw, that’s too bad,” Jackie offers with a pout. “Is she nice? Will we like her?”
Harry laughs, head shaking with amusement as if he’s not dragging his thumb down your clit while you swallow a rather desperate whine. “She’s nice. I don’t know if we’ll ever make it that far, though.”
Caleb’s head tilts. “What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. We’ve hung out, like…twice. S’not really that serious yet.”
And you almost snort, because to you…he seemed pretty serious about her.
But you suppose eating pussy doesn’t exactly require an engagement ring, and maybe he just wants a fuck buddy.
“Well…she still needs to pass the approval test,” Jackie argues with a wink. “And the fact that she strung you along for two months is not doing her any favors.”
“She was just making him work for it,” Charlie teases. “And he needs to be humbled, so I say good for her.”
“Please. Look at him,” she snorts. “He’s too pretty to be this dumb. Okay, he can do better than Tammy—”
“Tina,” Harry corrects before slowly easing the tip of his finger in, and your entire body goes rigid.
“—yeah, whatever. The point is…you can do better,” Jackie finishes proudly, shooting a pointed look toward Charlie.
Harry begins to smirk, slowly stealing a glance at you. “Yeah. Maybe we can all do better.”
Now curious, Caleb nods at you, and you do your best to control your reactions as he says, “Yeah, speaking of which…have you heard from…him?”
You shake your head quickly, mentally damning Harry to hell as he pushes in a bit further just to make it harder for you to reply. “Uh…no. Nope. Not since that night.”
“I’ll kill him,” Jackie tells you. “No, really. I will. I’ll hit him with my car and drag his dead body out to the woods, and watch the bears eat him.”
You breathe out a laugh, but it’s outrageously forced, and Harry can tell. “It’s…it’s fine. He’s…you know, we all move on. I’m fine.”
“Sure,” Harry says with a wicked gleam in his eye. “Yeah, you seem fine.”
“Oh, I am,” you murmur through a tight-lipped smile. “Fucking fantastic.”
“Good,” he hums before you can feel him curl upward. “Hope it stays that way.”
Your hands drop to the chair beneath you, and you grip onto the sides for dear life in an attempt to keep from reeling. “Thanks for your…concern.”
“Anytime,” he beams as you feel him slip out. “Just want you to…do and feel the best that you can.”
The wet pad of his finger then returns to your clit as he presses into it just to push it in a teasing circle.
Your eyes just about roll back as you quickly turn your face toward your shoulder and fake a cough. “Fuck…sorry,” you apologize hoarsely as your friends look on.
“Are you all right?” Jackie asks softly. “Sorry, we shouldn’t have brought him up. We can change the subject.”
“No, it’s…it’s fine,” you sigh, hoping to sound casual, despite the fact that you’re teetering on the edge of a wail. “Really, he’s just…a guy. Just some…stupid…sadistic…evil fucking…guy.”
And while the group across the table snorts their agreement, you see that Harry knows that jab was aimed directly at him.
He winks.
“I, uh…I need to go to the bathroom,” you suddenly declare, grabbing onto his wrist to forcefully shove it away before standing to your feet. “Be right back.”
“Feeling all right?” Harry asks innocently as he watches you push your chair in.
“Just delightful,” you reply before brushing your hands down the front of your dress. “Seriously, keep eating. I won’t be long.”
You leave the table before Harry can make another quippy remark, quickly making your way for the extravagant restroom in the back of the restaurant.
Honestly, you thought you had a little more self-control. You thought it wouldn’t be so easy to get you so on edge, and yet here Harry is, making you clench so hard in your chair, you nearly burst a blood vessel.
You lock the door behind you and make a beeline for the sink. You flip on the cool water and gently trail it down your arms and chest to cool yourself down as you will the ache between your legs to subside.
It’ll be easy to take care of once you get home, but you’re rather impressed with Harry’s commitment to…education.
And something about looking your friends in the eye as he played with your cunt like a toy was oddly invigorating.
Far more invigorating than it ever had been with…Eric.
You’ve no sooner smirked at this thought when your phone begins to buzz from its place on the counter.
Glancing down, you aren’t surprised to see a text from Harry, but it does make you laugh.
How’s it going?
Good. Just getting myself off before I come back, you answer.
Yeah? Texting me while you touch yourself? Hot.
Well, it’s not the first time.
A good minute passes before he responds, and you can easily imagine the way his eyes went wide.
Seriously?
Seriously. Why, is that weird?
Are you fucking kidding? No, it’s…I mean, it’s hot. Very, very hot.
Your brow raises. Yeah?
Kind of rude you never told me, though. Clearly I would have been of great help.
In my defense, I was a little…busy. It’s already hard enough to type with one hand.
And even if you aren’t exactly touching yourself right now…you aren’t lying about having done it before. Not on purpose, of course. He just happened to text you right in the middle of your alone time and needed an answer ASAP.
So…you’d answered.
Yeah? Do you need an extra hand? he replies next, and you chuckle under your breath as you lean against the sink.
Why, do you know someone?
Funny.
Thank you, I thought so.
Is that a yes, then?
I think I’m managing just fine.
Yeah? So you’re pinching your clit nice and tight for me?
You feel your breath hitch. This certainly isn’t helping. Obviously.
And you’re clenching around your fingers for me? How many you using? One? Two? Maybe three? Know you like to feel stretched.
“Fucking hell,” you whisper to yourself as you glance off into the bathroom. He’s trying to kill you.
Can’t really clench around anything when I have to keep answering these texts. Go eat your food and leave me to it.
And what kind of student would I be if I did that?
An obedient one.
And does that sound like me?
“Nope,” you respond aloud, but type, You have been so far.
Think I’d be more obedient if I finished what I started.
I mean…maybe if you knew how.
You wait to watch the bubbles roll across your screen, but when they don’t come, your heart sinks.
And then…there’s a knock.
A rather fervent and determined knock that makes you jump as you look toward the door.
“Bee…let me in.”
Shit. “I…uh, I’m a little busy.”
“I know,” comes the deep, sultry reply. “So, let me in.”
“Har—”
“Open the goddamn door, Bee, before I break it down.”
Clearing your throat, you put your phone aside and cautiously tiptoe toward the door.
After sliding the lock over, you pull it back just a hair, and peek through the crack. “Uh, hi. Sorry, this bathroom is a little occupied at the moment—”
His large hand comes out to press against the wood as he forces it open and steps inside. “Are you okay?”
You blink at him before scrambling to push it closed and relock it. “Uh…yeah? Why?”
He strides a bit further into the bathroom before turning around to look at you, almost as if suspicious. “Honestly? I kind of thought you came in here to hide from me.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know.” His arms cross over his chest. “I know you didn’t actually come in here to fuck yourself, so I thought…maybe you just felt uncomfortable.”
“Oh, yeah? And how do you know I didn’t come in here to do that?” you retort.
He smirks. “’Cause you always use both hands. And if you were texting me…you weren’t fucking yourself.”
“And how do you know I use both hands?”
He shrugs. “You told me once.”
Oh…right. “Well…maybe I was multi-tasking.”
“You weren’t,” he rejects immediately. “No, I think you either came in here to hide from me…or because you were upset about what they said. You know, about…him.”
An invisible fist snaps closed around your heart as you stare at the man across from you. The devious intentions and teasing from before are long gone as the man you’ve known for years, your best friend…stands before you.
The concern is evident on his face as you take a step closer. “Har…honestly, I’m fine. I wasn’t hiding from you, and I really don’t care about Eric. I came in here to keep myself from coming all over your fucking hand.”
The corner of his mouth twitches with the temptation to smile, but his gaze remains skeptical. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” You nod, taking another step. “Come on, I think it’s a little late to start questioning me now, don’t you?”
He sucks on his teeth. “Well…I can never tell with you.”
“I feel like I made my enjoyment quite clear.”
“I thought so, too. Until you made me stop.”
Now, only inches away from him, you come to a halt. “Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly feel like explaining why I moaned to our friends, you know?”
His thumb rubs across the skin of his arm as he peers down at you. “Thought that was the whole point of exhibitionism.”
You shrug, eyes falling across his features. “Yeah…or maybe I just wanted to keep you to myself.”
His brow cocks up. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You know…like a secret.”
Instantly, he grins, exhaling a laugh at the reminder of the pact you two made when you were younger. “We are good at secrets.”
“The best,” you agree giddily before the laughter dies out, and something seems to shift within his expression.
“Then I think it’s only fair we finish the lesson,” he says quietly, leaning a bit closer as you begin to still. “After all…I still need to show my work.”
Your lashes flutter, the smell of his cologne beginning to overwhelm you. God, why does he always smell so good? “Guess…guess that’s only fair,” you agree faintly, and he seems pleased.
His head dips, nose brushing yours as he works to catch you off guard. “Then tell me what to do, Bee. And I’ll do it.”
It comes out before you can stop it. “Kiss me.”
He’s surprised by this request, going momentarily quiet but you don’t miss the way his focus falls to your lips, as if pondering.
“Kiss me,” you repeat, fingers itching to latch onto the back of his neck. “And this time…do it right.”
He seems impressed as he fights an arrogant smirk. “Right, huh?”
“Yeah.” You straighten up, bringing your mouths a tad closer, but still without contact. “Know you can. Know you know how to be gentle, don’t you?”
And almost as if in retaliation, his hands find your hips, squeezing rather harshly as he begins to back you up toward the wall.
When you collide with it, he grins. “Dunno about that.”
“Try,” you whisper, hands dancing up his chest. “Trust me, you’ll get a lot more points that way. The right kiss can do everything, and I promise…she’ll love it.”
He considers this for a moment, studying you closely before you feel his palm delicately cup your cheek.
He tilts your head back as he moves in, deliberately slow. “Everything, huh?”
You smile, nodding once. “Yeah,” you breathe. “Everything.”
He kisses you.
Soft, and careful, and sadistically tame. He kisses around your mouth, peppers kisses to your bottom lip, to your cheek, to the line of your jaw.
He keeps his tongue from you, and you almost huff because after everything, you think you at least deserve a taste.
And finally, once you’re moments away from wilting in his hands, he takes that taste for himself.
Your head spins and your mind goes blank and everything makes sense.
Because kissing him is fun, and it makes you want to laugh, and kiss him forever, and never leave this one spot.
And you’re so enchanted by this revelation that you don’t notice his hand traveling between your bodies to return to its home between your thighs.
But he slips underneath your dress without a moment's delay, fingers returning to their work of pulling your panties aside to finish what he started. And when you gasp into the kiss…he swallows the sound with ease.
“Is that right, hm?” he teases as he slides in. “That good?”
Your lashes flutter closed as he presses his forehead to yours, and you don’t offer a response because he already knows.
His precision just about kills you. In, out, in, curl, twist, pinch, pull. You can feel the drip down your thighs, can hear the sounds he’s making, can taste his desperation in each kiss he gives you.
And when you suddenly whine and squirm in his hold, he smiles. “There it is, yeah? Right there…s’what you needed, isn’t it?”
It is. It’s exactly what you’d needed, and he strokes the spot with fervor and just a touch of wonder.
It’s cruel and it’s wonderful and it feels so fucking good, and nothing else makes sense to you except him.
Just him and the way you’re about to come undone by his hand for a second time.
You nuzzle your face into his neck, lazily kissing under his ear, and he seems to sigh with contentment as he braces you both against the wall to continue.
“Come on, Bee…know it’s gotta hurt, doesn’t it?” he coos, but his voice is thick. “Know it hurts, so give it to me, yeah? Just give it to me. Let me make it better.”
And it overwhelms you, consumes you, controls you. His smell, his touch, his words. The past, the present, him. Just him. Only him. Right now. Everything.
The sound that rips from your throat feels foreign to you. It’s loud and desperate and eager, and he presses his lips to yours to be a part of it.
It goes for what feels like hours, but time doesn’t have a place here. It could have been ten seconds; it could have been ten minutes. You don’t know, you don’t care.
You just…let it.
And you don’t realize the way you’ve slumped into his embrace as he holds you up, keeps you steady.
You don’t realize he’s speaking to you, murmuring words of encouragement with just a hint of teasing.
You don’t realize he’s refusing to let go.
But once you do, you realize something else, too:
You don’t want him to let go.
"Think we might have a problem," he whispers after a moment, lips following the curve of your shoulder as he offers a few parting kisses.
Your head falls back against the wall and you take a few deep breaths. "Yeah? And what's that?"
"Well...you kind of fucked up," he begins as he moves to the other side of your neck, sucking on the vein just below your ear. "You gave me a taste, showed me what I've been missing."
You can feel yourself smile through the haze as his hands continue to grope at your waist.
"I mean, just knowing..." he continues, nosing under your jaw, "...you've been keeping so much knowledge from me...this whole time."
Your laugh is airy as you reach up to comb through his curls. "Is that right?"
He hums as he nods, the palm of his hand slowly smoothing up your stomach, pushing the hem of your dress along with it. "And now I don't know if I can go without. Feel so fucking insatiable...just thinking about what else you might be hiding from me."
With this, his fingers delicately ghost under the curve of your tit, forcing you to arch into his touch as he smirks.
"And what is it...you want to know?" you manage to reply, voice soft and nearly inaudible.
He pulls back and meets your eye.
"Everything."
Shit.
"Everything?" you murmur, subtly tugging him closer.
"Everything," he repeats. "Anything. All of it. You. Me. Us. Every fucking second, every fucking way."
You know what he's proposing. Know exactly what this means, but you don't know if a friendship would survive.
And you don't know which is more important.
"So...what do you expect me to do?" you ask breathlessly, still squirming beneath his hold.
He smiles. "I expect you...to show me."
"Show you," you repeat, as if in a trance.
"Show me," he whispers, moving back in to lick at your bottom lip. "Teach me. How to be better. How to be right. How take care of you. Wanna give you everything you need."
"Everything," you breathe.
"Everything." His other hand gently comes up to cradle the back of your neck. "Whatever you want, whatever you need. Tell me and I'll give it to you. Promise."
But what do you need?
"Are you sure?" you ask, softly pushing on his chest to garner his attention. "It's not like teaching you to play pool, Har. Exploring kinks is...delicate. Sacred. It's not a game."
"I know," he replies, sobering ever-so-slightly. "That's why it can't be anybody else. It has to be you."
It has to be you.
"Why?" you challenge.
He simply offers you a knowing look. "Why wouldn't it be?"
You chew on the inside of your cheek, looking for a reason to say no. Looking for the strength to know better.
But maybe you don't know better.
Maybe you just know him.
"Teach me," he says again, thumb stroking your jaw as those familiar eyes bleed right through to your heart. "Make me better."
Better.
Everything.
Nothing else makes sense. Nothing else feels right.
Just him.
"Okay," you agree quietly, and his entire face lights up. "For science."
"For science," he repeats, dipping down to press his lips to your cheek in thanks. "But only if you're sure. I'd never want you to agree just because of me. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know."
He leans back. Frowns. He's unconvinced. "I mean it, Bee. I'm not asking just because I can. I’m asking because…it feels like something we both want. But if it's not—"
You kiss him again, stealing the rest of his argument. "I know how to say no to you, Harry. Think you should know that by now."
He smiles against your mouth. "Guess so."
For the next minute or so, you don't speak. He simply takes hold of your face with both hands and paints his gratitude across your tongue.
"So...where do you wanna start?" you ask when he finally allows you a second of reprieve.
"You tell me," he reminds you, and you feel yourself smirk.
"All right," you agree before slipping your fingers through the loops on his pants.
His eyes go wide.
Then, you tug.
"Let's start...with everything."
You bet your ass there’s gonna be a part 3, because now that they’ve opened the door…there’s no closing it 😗 and Harry’s got a long list of new kinks to discover! And I’m strangely excited about it?? This is concerning?? Pray for me???
Next Part:
~ Hurt Me* (Pt. 3)
Previous Part:
~ Teach Me* (Pt. 1)
~ Full Teach Me Masterlist
~ Other Harry Blurbs
~ Full Masterlist
Tags:
@tiaamberxx @harrystylesfan2686
#harry#harry edward styles#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles fan#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles smut#harry styles request#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles concept#smut#harry styles angst#harry styles best friend#best friend#angst#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfic#harry styles short story#request#harry and bee
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dew mornings and the bond of eternity – tartaglia [nsfw]
synopsis: your angel of a boyfriend makes sure that you know just how well loved you are
notes: for my favorite harbinger, idk what this is but breaking my fic virginity for him with this :]
warnings: fem!reader, reader is insecure, russian pet names, mating press, childe has a foul mouth, biting and marking, slight possession, praise, childe is called by his real name, slight oral fixation, implied oral (female receiving), he is extremely lovesick
you never learned to what extent someone could go when being attentive and observant until you met your boyfriend.
you hate how ajax is able to notice the slightest changes in your mood. you would say he knows you like the back of his hand, but it’s something more than that. almost like the two of you are fused at the souls. bonded for eternity.
so in the dew morning hours when you’re just a little bit quieter, a little more somber as he makes you both breakfast on one of his rare days off, he’s able to notice right away.
he notices your eyes don’t quite catch his own as he jokes about some silly thing one of his siblings did weeks ago, how your smile falters instead of shining bright the way that he loves to see, how you pick at your fingers and gnaw on your lip in thought.
“ptichka?” he hovers over you, taking your face in his hands and pulling you from your thoughts. his cerulean eyes scan you thoroughly. “did you not sleep well?”
“it’s nothing, it was just a silly little dream.” you wave off, smiling weakly. not a lie, technically.
ajax clicks his tongue. stubbornly, he leans into you, the smell of pine and mint following him. “it can’t be silly if it has you upset like this and you’re losing sleep.”
there is no way of lying to ajax. you know this well. he’s a big brother to three siblings, and he’s too good of a detective to be deceived. but that’s to be expected of a harbinger.
after a long, apprehensive pause, you sigh.
“…i had a dream that you cheated on me.” you confess, lowering your gaze to the floor. “and that you left me for someone better.”
it’s stupid. absolutely and utterly ridiculous. ajax has shown you enough love to spill over into your next life. and the next one after that. you could die and come back a thousand times, and there’d still be traces of him left on you. so to tell him this brings you great shame.
the question is, what caused the dream? guilt? shame? maybe you feel he does so much for you, that you’re lacking as a partner. that you could do better.
you wait silently for him to yell, for some sort of outburst to come. but you’re only met with surprise when you feel his hand on your chin.
“can you please look at me?” his voice is soft, and eyes softer as he finally is able to make eye contact with you. he’s so gentle. warm. he only looks at you with love and patience. “thank you, lisichka.”
“i may not have done anything wrong, and i would never cheat—“ he continues with a stern expression, “but i still need you to understand where my feelings lie with you.”
you start to shake your head, “i already know, ‘jax, you have never made me feel like i need to doubt you. i know how much you love me. i promise. i have no idea why i had the dream…but it just made me sad when i woke up.”
you don’t mean to lie about your hidden insecurities, but it’s not a conversation you want to have at the moment. you’d rather just enjoy the time you have currently with your boyfriend peacefully.
luckily, ajax overlooks your fib. he hums, kissing your temple, “how about after we eat, i run us a bath? and we do one of those face masks that you like? something to decompress.”
and for the first time today you smile and agree.
unfortunately it appears ajax is taking your earlier sentiments much more seriously than you thought.
as all dreams and nightmares are short term memory, you long forgot about what it was that made you upset, back to your usual self after the bath.
ajax swaddled you up in a clean towel, and just like he said, did face masks with you. it always makes you giggle seeing your boyfriend using one of your spa headbands to push his hair back. soon both your faces were shiny and clean. refreshed and replenished, you felt brand new.
but little did you know you were now in the jaws of a shark.
you didn’t make it to the bedroom. well, you did, but you didn’t pick up on the ginger’s ulterior motive the minute he kissed your cheek as you sat on the bathroom counter. he carried you to the bedroom, and that’s where it all fell apart.
“‘j-jax—“ you hiccup, gripping tightly onto his bicep. your figure is trembling against his, skin damp with sweat and glued impossibly closer to his.
so much for the bath.
“s-slow down…”
your boyfriend has been at it for awhile now, pummeling your poor insides with his fat cock over and over. the room reeks with the smell of sex, wet sounds imprinted into your mind. you can never forget just how great he makes you feel.
“no,” he huffs, fingers digging into your hips, “you’re not leaving this bed until i’m sure of it.”
confusion resides in you. what exactly is ‘it’?
he’s already worshipped you plenty with just his fingers and tongue. but you don’t dare challenge the primal look in his eyes. he’s absolutely greedy, not even letting you move to take care of him in return in anyway.
you yelp once feeling your lover’s teeth nip into your skin. his tongue laves over the offended area before he kisses the skin.
“how could i find someone better, when there’s not a single person more beautiful or amazing than you?” he pants, pulling away to look at you. his thumb traces your cheek tenderly and his cobalt eyes are trained on your fucked out expression.
“especially when your pussy feels this good? that’s just a bonus.” he rambles, groaning. his hips knock into yours more harshly and you wail.
“you’d have to kill me to separate us.” he admits darkly, but something tells you that even death wouldn’t stop him.
“‘dun want that, want you forever.” you say, clinging impossibly tighter to him.
ajax coos, kissing your nose, “and you have me. because you’re enough. you always will be. you’re perfect.”
his answer satisfies you and you’re kissing him again, nearly having tears permeate at the ducts of your eyes.
he laughs, grinning against you mouth, “milaya, you’re about to cum, aren’t you?”
“i-i” your words still fail to completely return to you but you nod rapidly.
understanding, he taps your bottom lip.
“open,” he commands.
falling in line, ajax pushes his fingers in your mouth. you feel your face heat up from how you taste yourself on him.
“good girl,” he praises, “always so sweet for me, hmm?”
you’re drooling on him, nodding and humming around his fingers with a hazy look in your eyes.
there’s a certain light in his own eyes that only appears when he’s with you, and with the way he is looking at you with complete adoration, you feel absolutely special.
“oh, look how much you’re quivering, you’re almost there. come on.” your boyfriend studies your movements, fucking you with slower, deeper thrusts.
the breath from your lungs nearly escapes you, and you feel a burning feeling in your chest. you’re creaming so much on him that it’s impossible not to hear the lewd noises coming from between your legs.
every sound seems to drive the ginger crazier. “one more, just one more for me, angel and i’ll let you be.” he coaxes, fingers moving again.
“i’m…i’m tired.” you sniff.
“i know, but you look so pretty when you cum. just one more? pretty please? can’t get over how you look. so beautiful…”
his constant praise is enough to make you cum once more, so hard that it blinds you. your mouth falls open in silent awe.
ajax groans, watching you come undone and hissing at the way you’re clamping up on his cock. it should be a crime how good you feel, because he could ever get enough of it.
there’s only a moment before he remembers he still needs to cum, and then he’s pawing and begging.
“fuck, let me cum in you…please…” his face is buried in your neck and a small whimper escapes him once he grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together.
he’s shivering and hot, and his cock is extremely sensitive. every drag of himself against your walls drives him insane. he’s dizzy, nearly delirious with how much he’s holding back.
“wanna fill you up so badly, please lisichka.” he continues, pressing searing kisses to your shoulder. “want you leaking with all of my cum…want all of it in you.”
you don’t think he’s looking at you while he babbles and pleads to breed you, and you shiver at how predatory he looks at your lower abdomen. you lock your legs tighter around him, ignoring the overstimulation creeping up in you.
“yes, ajax. please. w-want all your cum. want you to fill me up!” you whine, a sound that makes his heart and cock swell all at the same time.
your next words startle him even further.
“i love you.”
and he snaps.
“hah—ah, fuck!” ajax curses, hips stuttering in their pace. he groans loudly, feeling himself spill into you. there’s spots in his vision from how hard he’s cumming and he wonders if this is what celestia is.
you gasp, jerking when warmth spreads throughout all of you. you can feel the throbbing of your boyfriends cock and his heavy load.
coming down from both of your highs, the two of you laugh.
“you surprise me every time.” you tease quietly, eyeing a bite mark on your thigh.
the ginger looks bashful, hiding his face in your shoulder. “sorry…didn’t mean to be so rough…”
“if i wanted you to stop at anytime, i would’ve told you.” you reassure, petting his head.
he plants a kiss on your skin. “good. and for the record, i love you too.” he murmurs. “feel better?”
“i felt better after the delicious breakfast you made, but you took it a couple of steps further like you always do.” you giggle, leaning into his chest.
ajax grins, kissing the crown of your head, “well, i could tell something else was on your mind, but you weren’t telling me.”
“you know me way too well. it’s terrifying.”
he puffs his chest out, “what can i say? i can and will only provide the absolute best for you.”
“i don’t like leaving you alone for as long as i do…i will try to get them to let me take work closer to home.” he adds, playing with your fingers.
and the beam on your face is all worth it. “really?”
“really. i’m not around a lot for you to do things for me, and i get why you may feel that you need to be better. but i adore you just how you are. i’m sorry for not being more present.”
“it’s okay, i understand.” you hum, kissing his chin.
ajax hums with appreciation before leaning down and chasing your lips, hungrily wanting to taste you all over again.
his demanding presence has you melting into him as you mesh together, tongues locking to consume the taste of yourselves.
suddenly he’s dragging you by the hips to the edge of the bed.
“w-what are you—“
“m’not done with you. far from it.” you barely can form another question before ajax is sliding back into you. a crude squelch follows.
the harbinger kisses your bare ring finger. “say, i think we should elope. what do you think about starting a family?”
key: ptichka = ‘little bird’, lisichka = ‘little fox’, milaya = ‘my dear’
#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia x you#childe x reader#childe x you#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#tartaglia smut#childe smut#genshin impact#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin oneshot#genshin impact oneshot
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Tales of the white fox
🌸 (Astrology Observations) 🌸
~We are here, we're all alone in our own universe~
──────────────────────
🌸 Jupiter in Aquarius/Jupiter in the 11th house, Jupiter finds joy among the friends here, if you are attracted to men this placement can indicate a very friendly spouse/boyfriend
🌸 Uranus square the Midheaven (MC), was raised to be rebellious, unique, having an eccentric nature, this placement can make you independent in your career
🌸 Out of all the signs and based on my experience Cancer, Pisces, Libra and Scorpio placements need the most reassurance to feel better
🌸 Leo Moon (Moon in Leo Degrees 5°, 17°, 29°), what I honestly appreciate about them is their self worth, these natives appreciate themselves so much
🌸 Neptune/Moon/Pluto/Sun in the 1st house are sensitive planets to have, mostly because can make the native's body to be more sensbile than the rest, they can have sensitive skin/hair/can get allergies fast and can be prone to acne sometimes
🌸 Mars in the 5th house natives are those type of people who invite you at the party and get the most drunk out of it, when they say they enjoy life, trust them
🌸 Mars in the 11th house or in Aquarius (Mars at 11° 23° degrees) there can be some sexual tendencies between them and their friends, sometimes even flirt or just friends to lovers
🌸 Moon in the 10th house natives weakness can be that they expose their sensitive energy to others, sometimes without knowing
🌸 When you have South Node aspecting Saturn and someone did you wrong in a past life they can backfire by him in this lifetime (Not sure 100% of this obvs yet)
🌸 Sun aspecting the ascendant can make you to be open communicative/open minded/open at the heart, gives people a good energy when they're around you
🌸 South Node in the 9th house could've possibly have studied or practiced occult or witchcraft in a past life
🌸 Venus in the 8th house on Venus in Scorpio at their worst can steal other people's energy, to be like a energetic vampire especially when it comes to seducing
🌸 Eros (433)/Juno (3)/Groom (5129/ in the 2nd house can get spoiled by their hubbies, but also they can have this type of bf who can cook for them
🌸 Eros (433) in Libra/Scorpio/Pisces/Aries > Roses on the bed 🛏️, maybe with the text "I want to make out with you" is definitely their thing
🌸 Moon aspecting the ascendant, this beautiful aspect makes the native to have beautiful eyes, maybe a lot of people have told you this too
🌸 Uranus in the 9H/11H their friends group can be a combination of everything, every nation, every ethnicity, every race, are in their friend group
──────────────────────
Forever and ever together, we sail into infinity
─────────────────────
🌸 Sagittarius Risings have their 8th house in Cancer which indicates that they seek for nurturing and a safe place/security in bed, I'm not a Sag Rising but I love this energy period.
🌸 12th house placements love sleeping especially Sun/Moon/Neptune and Saturn!! Sleeping is their hobby I swearrrr (Cannot relate I have insomnia with a 12H Sun😭)
🌸 Mars or Aries in the 6th house can practice a lot of sports! Idk but they need a lot of movement and stimulation and they love to compete with others
🌸 The 6th house in your chart can also tell you about how you are with the plants/nature and their energy
🌸 fire sign or mars in the 2nd house can be prone to eating fast, you see them eating a soup and it the next 2 minutes the soup is gone.
🌸 Virgo in the 2nd house/Earth Sign in the 2nd house, you cannot tell me that they're not eating something healthy or something that contains some vitamins/protein
🌸 Moon or Venus in the 2nd house or Taurus/Capricorn can have gifting as a love sign, they love buying things for their loved ones
🌸 Sun in the 3rd house/Gemini makes the native to be really a curious one, like they be the one telling "What's this for" "What does this thing do" etc + they can also put a lot of questions they're adorable imo
🌸 Venus in Cancer/Venus in Cancer Degrees 4°, 16°, 28°, for some reason I thought of an angel while writing this, definitely the vibe of "the mom of the group" they take care of everyone!!
🌸 Ascendant at 11°, 23° degrees can make the native taller/slimmer/skinny (Aquarius Degrees)
🌸 Mars in Virgo/at Virgo Degrees 6°, 18° there is something so sensual about their waist?? Is definitely something seductive
🌸 Jupiter in the 9th house, I see people saying they gonna travel a lot with their hubbies but this placement can also indicate meeting your bf/spouse in school/highschool/university etc
🌸 Moon in Sagittarius (Sagittarius Degrees 9°,21°) somehow their outstanding energy makes them to get along with everyone in general these natives are pretty known for having large groups of friends
🌸 Pluto aspecting Mercury natives can tell when they're being lied at, don't try to lie or hide things from them, first because is very dissrespectful and second because they're gonna get hurt
──────────────────────
Tonight, tonight eternity's an open door
No, don't ever stop doing the things you do
Don't go, in every breath I take I'm breathing you
──────────────────────
🌸 Moon conjunct/sextile/trine Venus, these natives are genuinely loving, you fall in love when you're with them, they're also kind and that makes them adorable
🌸 Your Saturn placement can also tell things about your dad some examples here:
Leo Saturn - Prideful Dad, can put themselves into the spotlight/attention but also confident
Virgo Saturn - Analytical dad, a dad who thinks about all the situations and circumstances
Scorpio Saturn - The dad can be very changing in his mood, dad went through a lot when he was young and very defensive towards his loved ones
Aries Saturn - This gives me the cool dad vibe but somehow the dad with anger issues, bold but easily getting angry
Cancer Saturn - Nurturing dad, they can be sensible to your needs and often wanting to make you feel better
🌸 "Quincunx" aspects can sometimes have a more challenging energy than squares or oppositions!
🌸 Aquarius Risings are bold when it comes to fashion take Zendaya as an example, she always wears very attractive clothes!! They can also have a unique way of styling themselves
🌸 A lot of gamers can have their 11th house prominent or prominent Aquarius energy in their house aswell as Gemini or Virgo!!
🌸 Capricorn/Libra/Scorpio/Aries Men give dominant energy!! Especially if they share common things between eachother in the natal chart
🌸 Asteroid Ceres (1) aspecting the ascendant indicates the native needs nurturing, maybe their body/mind/soul/heart, maybe a little self love..would help you so much!❤️
🌸 Ceres aspecting the Moon (in positive aspects) this placement can mean having a nurturing mom, and that you tend to be nurturing with most people in your life
🌸 Jupiter in Libra or at Libra Degrees 7°, 19°, > Is not always about your spouse girly..😍 this placement often shares loves/compassion and kindness towards you, but you definitely look after a relationship...Like Jupiter expands this side of you anyway🤣
🌸 Scorpio/Aries/Capricorn and Gemini in the 3rd house can indicate talking dirty a lot of cussing/cursing its becoming a habit..
🌸 Aquarius and Sagittarius in the 3rd house LOVE to be sarcastic when they talk I swear, they're like "Let me tell you something ************" and "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? ..after they say "I'm just sarcastic 🤌🏼"
🌸 SUN or MOON in the 9th house makes the native to be drawn toward other cultures and traditions, but in the same time they are abundent in theirs. Embrace your culture!!🌸
🌸 Venus/Sun or Mercury in the 5th house can have multiple talents/passions they're extremely creative esp if you have these plantes in a air or water sign
~ A new week today, that means a new post for youuuu so here we go y'all! Enjoy! Also have a great start of the week everybody! 🌸🌸🌸
Har🌸🌸nix
#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#birth chart#astrology observations#astroblog#placements#astro community#ascendant#horoscope#venus#zodiac observations#zodiac#astro com#astro seek#astronote#asteroids observations#asteroids#saturn#tales#white#fox
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[12:44]
content: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship, body insecurity, dk must be protected
wc: 665
note: idk this is what i get for watching dk make one too many tummy jokes on gose (seungkwan ur on thin ice) im sorry everyone good night
You come home to see your boyfriend in front of the mirror.
“Hey babe,” you shout from the door. “How long have you been home? Did you eat yet?”
“I just got back from the gym with Jihoon and Mingyu and they were giving me all these tips but to be honest, I could barely keep up.”
“I'm pretty sure those two are aliens and do nothing but work out and dance” you laugh from the other room as you put down your stuff. “Maybe you should try working out with Vernon next time.”
What you thought was a lighthearted joke turns into something much more serious when you find your words met with a low hum instead of the beautiful chuckle you expected.
You knew this was a point of insecurity for him, you figured as much when he insists on keeping a shirt on at the pool or on the beach. Or when he shys away from you when changing, despite you having seen him naked many many times already.
But what you didn't realize how deep it cut on the days he couldn't make a joke about it and turn himself into the fool as he often does to lift everyone's mood.
You immediately drop everything you're doing and join your boyfriend in front of the mirror, hands wrapping around his middle as you nuzzle into his side.
“Tell me what's wrong, honey.”
There's a shallow sigh before he's able to speak, and you swallow in anticipation as you stare at him through the reflection of both of you.
He briefly flashes you one of his bright smiles in the mirror, the ones he knows you love so much, but this one doesn't quite reach his eyes.
“I know I don't have rock hard abs like Jihoon or Mingyu, but I'm working on it.”
You can hear your heart breaking in your chest as your boyfriend spills out his confession.
He's so strong, you think. Stronger than anyone you know. The type of man who wears his weaknesses proudly and has no problem taking the fall for others, yet stays optimistic in every breath, uplifting those who need it regardless if his own tank is filled.
“What are you even talking about, baby? I love your tummy.”
“I- I don't know… I just thought— because,”
His gaze lowers to his fingers intertwined and fidgeting as he struggles to find the words. He lightly gnaws on his bottom lip as he shakily continues, “You really liked when I was building my arm muscles and you were complimenting me on getting stronger so I just assumed that you wanted me to—”
He's hushed by your gentle palm cupping his jaw, lifting his eyes to meet yours.
“Oh darling,” your eyes swimming with emotion, “no, I never meant it like that,” you breathe out in an almost whisper.
“Yes, I love that you were getting stronger but that doesn't mean I don't think you're absolutely perfect the way you are.”
You see his pupils widen as he stares back at you, expression unreadable as he seemingly tries to process whether or not to believe your words.
“I can't expect you to stay the same, that would be selfish of me. People change all the time, and hopefully it's for the better. But no matter what you look like I will always, always, love you for you Seokmin. Don't ever assume for a second that my love for you depends on whether or not you look like Mingyu, alright?”
You catch a tear that slips down his cheek with the pad of your thumb. Although his sparkling brown eyes threaten to open the floodgates, his widening smile that replaces his earlier tight-lipped expression assures you that his mind is much clearer than before.
“And for what it's worth, I love kissing your tummy and I will likely be devastated even if it's replaced by a six pack.”
“Alright, I'll tell Jihoon no more ab exercises then.”
#seventeen x reader#dk x reader#lee seokmin x reader#dk fluff#svt fluff#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen imagines#justice for dk tummy#mom i love him
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Gravity (Part 3)
Last chapter? Idk. Taking suggestions on what to call this.
Asks are open, but I don't have a lot of free time and I'm new at this so be gentle. 😅
Okay, let's face it, you're not here for me. On with the show.
Warnings: alcohol, hypothermia
chai-tea level spice.
gn (w/ longish hair) reader x Raphael
Page 1 Page 2
You're anxious tonight. You aren't sure why. Maybe it's the weather. You hate when the boys are out on nights like this. Another rumble of thunder shakes the near empty glass of wine on the coffee table, and you glance at the window which offers nothing more than a void. Unhelpful.
You'd drifted through the week, distracted. That night, and his words, echoing your head. Even April had noticed. Eyeing you one morning while sipping her coffee.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Huh?" You looked up from the cereal you were supposed to be eating. By now, the marshmallows had half dissolved.
"I said... What's wrong with you?" April asked, sitting down at the table across from you and looking you up and down.
"Nothing," you reassured unconvincingly, your eyes darting back down to the generic cereal, which was pretty swiftly becoming a thick sugary soup. You poked at it a few times with your spoon.
She'd let it go, but you caught her watching you closely a few times. Screw her and her journalism instincts.
You and Raphael had always been close. He'd been standoffish at first, acting in his self-appointed role of family guardian, but it didn't take long before you were endeared to him, and not long after that you were spending nearly all your free time together.
More than a few times you've gotten sideways glances from his family. You're so in-sync that you almost seem like a couple at times. You laugh and cry together, and talk deep into the night about things you just can't tell anyone else. He's become your person, and you his.
The last few weeks have been hard on the both of you, and the last week has been the hardest. You dont want to push, especially not right now, nothing important should be discussed right now, but you don't know where his head is at and you're worried.
You frown at the television, readjusting your position on the couch and scrolling to find something to watch. You are attempting to settle in to some exceptionally stupid movie (this way, when April asks what you did tonight, you don't have to lie) when you hear something heavy hit the roof.
He didn't make a sound if he didn't want to. Usually he would land just hard enough that you would know he was there. They all did, out of courtesy. Like a knock at the door. But this was different. Clumsy.
You stare out into the pitch black, grabbing your phone and sending the call. It goes to voicemail.
Raph was always encouraging you to trust your instincts and right now, your instincts were screaming that something was very *very* wrong.
You toss your phone on the couch and are out the window and halfway up the fire escape without a second thought. You're soaked through in seconds and shivering, but you slow before you crest the roof. You shout into the squall.
"Listen Red, I know you don't want to see me right now, but you're not answering your phone and I need to know that you're okay. Okay?"
You wait for a response and there is none, which doesn't make you feel better. You finally reach the roof, and suddenly neither the cold, nor the rain matter.
Sheets of rain and sleet crash over his fallen form like waves, and you run to him. He's freezing cold. Damn it. He'd promised you he'd gotten that fixed. You don't bother checking for a pulse. Your hands are borderline numb, and you probably wouldn't be able to feel it, anyway.
You call his name and make a valiant attempt at shaking him awake.
Somewhere in the depths of unconsciousness he hears you, but he fights it. He wants to stay. He likes it here. It's soft and warm and safe. The world behind him is cold and hard, full of pain and longing. He wants this. He wants this peace.
Then he hears you call his name again, and there's no contest.
He stirs and it's raining so hard that the only way you can tell you're crying is the warmth on your cheeks. You hear him groan weakly. You need to get him inside.
You know you can't physically help him in any way, but you make the attempt. You know it's not going to work, but at least now you can say you tried. He could feel free to laugh at you later.
After very much not budging your beloved behemoth so much as an inch, you lean down next to him.
"I'm gonna need your help here, Bruiser, you know I can't carry you."
A Herculean feat, but he manages to pull himself to near standing. You help him as best you can down the fire escape. It's slow going and he nearly passes out twice, but eventually you make it inside.
He doesn't make it to the couch, but collapses in front of it, sitting on the floor and leaning back against it. His eyes are closed and his breathing slow, you snatch your phone from the cushion behind him and call Donnie.
He doesn't pick up.
You call again.
"Yes. What. Do you need something?" He snaps, exasperated, as if you interrupted a hyperfocus (which, let's face it, you probably did).
"Raph is soaked and freezing and in my apartment. Get the fuck over here and fix your damn tech." You end the call and toss the phone on the couch.
You could apologize later.
You sprint to the linen closet and grab a stack of towels, tossing them into the dryer and turning it on. You quickly change into something dry, before running back to the reptile. You thank whatever god of foresight made you force Raphael teach you how to remove his gear just in case, and get to work.
Your hands don't want to cooperate at first, but adrenaline is one hell of a drug, and you have his waterlogged equipment off in record time. You retrieve the now warmed towels from the dryer and return to him. You lay a couple over his carapace, and use the others to start drying him off.
By the time you finish toweling off his extremities, he is once again beginning to stir. You step over his legs, straddling him while standing to better reach behind his head, and as you lean against him your warmth radiates through his plastron like a sun.
Almost involuntarily, his hands raise to rest at your lower back, pressing you gently against his chest.
You gasp as his hands slide under the back of your shirt, searching for warmth. His hands are still freezing cold, but you're pretty sure the gooseflesh rippling over your skin is unrelated.
You finish toweling off just under his shell, behind his head, and pull back, bracing a hand on his shoulder. As you do, his hands move to your waist and you try to ignore how they nearly envelope you.
You look down at him as his eyes slowly open and smile softly. It's obvious he's still pretty out of it.
Wreathed in warm lamplight, you look ethereal, and when his eyes finally focus on you, he thinks he's either dreaming, or dead (with his luck, probably the latter). The moment you place a warm hand against his face he decides he doesn't care.
"Hey Bruiser," you say quietly, smiling softly as your thumb wipes a drop of water from his cheek, "you're safe, the boys are on their way." The sound of your voice pours into him like warm honey and he closes his eyes with a sigh.
Reaching up to the back of your head, he pulls you gently toward him to rest your forehead against his. It was something you started doing to him not long after you became close, whenever he would get really worked up. You weren't sure if it was the physical proximity or the emotional comfort, but it seemed to help ground him. In reality, it's the closest he would ever allow himself to kissing you, and that thought by itself was very, very grounding.
But he is still warming up, still half conscious. You are filling his senses and it's overwhelming. The curtain of your hair falls around his face, and he feels drunk on your scent. You're so soft beneath his hands and the one around your waist tightens gently.
There is only about two more weeks left in the season, but it's by no means over, and something old and primal stirs in his DNA. He presses your head more firmly against his as intelligence and instinct battle within him for control.
You are his *mate*. And it is *time*. And you are *right here*.
Besides, regardless of whether he's dreaming or dead, it doesn't ultimately matter. He can't hurt you if you aren't real.
He lifts his chin, brushing his lips softly against yours. When you don't pull away in disgust he grows a little more bold, and kisses you in earnest.
It would be a lie to say that you hadn't been thinking about it more-or-less from the beginning, how different it would feel than kissing a human. Admittedly, you'd been a little worried about the mechanics, but any concerns you had dissolve when his mouth fits so perfectly against yours.
His body still feels like lead, but his mind is growing sharper, and about the time you are kissing him back he realizes how very real this is. Unfortunately, his reptile brain realizes it first.
His hand grips your waist as his kiss deepens, and there is a deep rumble within his chest that you can feel inside your own. When his thumb brushes over your abdomen you can't help the involuntary sound that escapes you.
The sound is like a starting pistol and suddenly you're flush against him and his mouth is on your throat, pressing open mouthed kisses along your jawline, blood burning in his veins at the way your heartbeat quickens under his tongue.
You had to stop this. If this was going to happen it shouldn't be like this. Right now he's borderline drugged, and if you let this happen and he later thought you didn't actually want it? You can't imagine the fallout.
But you'd had a few glasses of wine this evening, and Gods, he felt *so* good.
When his teeth graze your pulse point your attempt at a deep breath becomes a gasp, and you close your eyes to steady yourself. You had to get his attention.
You attempt to say his name, but it tumbles out of your mouth as a sigh.
"... want you..." He murmurs into your shoulder. The way his breath scatters over your skin like a shower of sparks is doing nothing to help you regain control of yourself or the situation.
He begins kissing down to your clavicle, both hands now at your waist, and despite knowing what this is, where it's going, and why it needs to stop, you can't help placing a hand on the back of his head to pull him closer.
"Sweetheart, we should really talk about this first..." you attempt again, but the tremor in your voice is the only thing that seems to register.
He holds onto you like a lifeline, as if he was drowning and you were his only oxygen. When he grips you tighter and his thumb presses into the hollow of your hip, you almost buckle. A moan escapes, despite your best efforts, and your nails scrape against the back of his neck.
The rumble in his chest grows deeper and he shifts beneath you, movement becoming easier as his temperature rises.
The sound of three very heavy things landing very softly comes from overhead.
The two of you break apart, flushed and breathless, and look at each other in shock.
You glance at the fire escape when you hear the metal rattle outside, before looking back into bewildered amber eyes.
"We're gonna talk about this," you say. He looks at you as if he doesn't understand. "When this is all over, and your brain is no longer swimming in hormone soup... We're gonna talk about this..."
He blinks up at you, a hesitant hope blossoming behind his eyes as you smile down at him, "... because I'm tired of not talking about it."
(Fin)
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note: im begging for requests for this au!!! i'm sobbing, idk what character it is <3
˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.
jonbee taking care of you during an apocalypse and you're in near tears begging him to kiss you. it happens all the time, the casual way that he's dominant over you. if it's the way that he's so much taller, the way his rough hands feel on yours. he always drops a kiss on your forehead before serving you french toast.
you love the normality of it all. the way he's humming the song on the radio, and you're bobbing your head to it. ivy is growing in the trailer park, and the shorts you have on have dirt smudges all over it when the two of you were running.
yet john b is giving you everything he can to serve you a normal lifestyle. he's trying everything to make you feel better, tucking back your hair, and coaxing you to eat. he's even found an old apron that has, 'kiss the chef,' on it, and suddenly your tearing up, holding up your brittle knife and fork.
hot tears drip down your face, as you sniffle quietly nudging at the food on your plate. almost immediately john b turns around, eyes full of concern.
"hey? hey, what's wrong?" he murmers, dropping down to your level. his hat is on backwards, and you fight the urge to turn it the other way. "don't cry pup," he cooes, grazing your wet cheeks, and you fight the urge of jumping into his arms, or asking to sit on his lap. after all, the two of you are platonic anyways. that's clear to tell.
you choke on your sob, "iono, just feel this pressure on my chest. i really need to be close to someone." even as you say this, your eyes are wide ready to be rejected, but john be is always there for you, as his hands snake up your sides, and sits you down on his lap.
"alright now. let's eat something now. maybe that'll make the ache go away."
you nodd at his soft words. he's right, he's always right. the two of you could barley find normal food now, always preservatives, or food that makes you hurt. you like it when he embraces you like this, his big arms around your waist, as you feel like a kid swinging your legs. and yet here you are crying the one day that there is good food.
suddenly you feel worse. the world is ending, and you'll be dead soon, and john be will never be with you, and you will have never kissed anyone. you'll never be a librarian in a niche town with a husband who would kiss you off your feet. no, you will have never kissed someone! what a tragedy to love someone so deeply yet never touch their soothing lips. maybe john b's lips on yours would fix everything.
you feel so stupid.
finally, john b puts the fork down, warm breath on your neck, and he sets you off his lap to look you in the eye.
"i need you to tell me what's wrong, and so i can fix it." he whispers to you, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. you shake your head, feeling the pounding feeling in your chest, as if you were going to vomit but your stomach was empty.
john b sighs, his voice firm now, "this won't go away. show me where it hurts. do you feel sick?" he murmurs to you, giving you his hand to guide, and you tentivally take it to place it on your heart.
"here," you croak, "it hurts here."
he looks surprised, yet his eyes are warm as he speaks in his soothing tone, his words practically melting in your mouth, "why does it hurt pup?"
"i need you to kiss me," you blurt out, and let go of his hand, "so it can stop."
he tilts his head almost amused, "yea? you need me to kiss you, so your heart can stop hurting."
you hate the way he's teasing you, a soft lint in his tone, his large hands still settling on you as he talks to you. he's so gentle with you it burns your skin, it burns everything inside of you.
"i can't take it. i can't take the fact that i've never kissed someone," and then you pause, your voice a whimper, "i can't take it that i haven't kissed you jonbee-"
and then without a doubt, he looks at you again, his eyes so feverious, so full of emotion, burning with the exact same fire that you feel your body ablaze with.
just like that john b cups your jaw, and kisses you so sweetly you see stars.
#john b routledge#john b x reader#john b x fem!reader#john b routledge x reader#john b prompt#john b obx#john b#john b thoughts#john b routledge x you#obx x reader#obx boys#john b fluff#john b angst#john b x you#john b x y/n#john b imagine#john b imagines#john b blurb#john b blurbs#john b fic#john b fanfiction#john b routledge imagine#john b routledge imagines#outer banks#obx fanfiction#arh i'm cackling!!!#zombie apocolypse au#apocalypse!john b#puppy!reader#outlaw!johnb
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Baby
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Warnings: reader is able to get pregnant, pet names, argument, idk what else.
Summary: It's getting harder and harder to spend time with your husband and you have some really important news. (Pre-Outbreak)
*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist
ABC List
*****
The room is silent, the only noise coming from our TV. Light bounces off of the walls, casting a small glow on the coffee table that moves.
I curl deeper into the couch, watching as the clock ticks by.
8:30....9:15....10:45....11:12...
Finally I hear keys jingling from the front door.
" You're still up? " Joel's voice is tired and raspy. He pulls off his boots, leaving them near the front door. " Is Sarah still up? "
I shake my head, rubbing my heavy eyes. " No. She's over at Gina's, down the street, for a sleepover. "
Joel wanders into the kitchen, pulling a can of beer out of the fridge. He takes a swig before heading towards the living room. For a moment, neither of us talks.
" You were supposed to be home at 6. " I glance over at the man. I take in his appearance. His eyes are dark from clear exhaustion. His shirt is covered in grime. It's obviously been a long day.
" I was. " He agrees, not saying anything more. He takes another sip of his beer. Condensation forms on the can, dripping down his hand.
His answer doesn't satisfy me. " Why weren't you? Why didn't you call? " I press.
This has been happening often. Every few days he stays out later than normal, most of the time, he 'forgets' to call.
Joel lets out a sigh, obvious frustration filling his expression. " I got caught up in my work. It wasn't supposed to go past 6, but stuff happens. You know that, babe. "
Irritation fills my body. " And you couldn't have bothered to, I don't know, check your watch and maybe call me? I was worried sick, Joel. I stayed up even though I have to be up at 6 for work tomorrow. " I push myself up, looking towards his face. Looking for something, something other than annoyance.
I was really hoping he'd be here at 6.
" I didn't ask you to do that. You could've gone to bed. Don't blame me for your decisions. I told you, I lost track of time. I don't have my phone on me when I'm working. " Joel's gaze meets mine.
Anger runs through my body. Usually I'm not this quick to anger but the hormones are driving me insane. The stress of unknowing along with Joel's careless attitude sends rage flowing through my body. " You really could give less of a shit about Sarah and me, huh? " I seethe, not thinking through my words.
Joel's eyes narrow. " What the fuck do you mean? " He starts getting defensive. " Of course I give a shit about you! I fucking work my ass off, for you two! " Joel's tone rises.
" Then why do you keep doing shit that makes us worry? " I exclaim. " You could have called at any point and it would've helped me feel better. I understand that you don't keep your phone on you while working, but is it really that hard to take a five minute break to call me? God-you need a break anyways! You'll fucking hurt yourself if you're constantly working. " My heart pounds. I stand up, trying to get some space between the man and I.
Joel stands up as well. His eyes burn into mine, sending a shiver of discomfort down my spine.
I hate when we get into arguments. My hormones and his exhaustion are mixing together to create a toxic cloud of anger and frustration.
" Like you'd even answer the fucking phone. " Joel rolls his eyes. " You've been so busy talking to your stupid fucking friends that it's nearly impossible to call you sometimes. "
He isn't wrong. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago, and I wanted-no I needed to tell someone. I wanted to make the announcement to Joel and Sarah important, something memorable. At the time, I just needed to tell someone else.
They've been there for me this entire time, helping me plan tonight. Helping me plan the dinner and gift for Joel.
A gift he never got to open and a dinner he never got to eat.
" Well I gotta talk to someone, Joel. You're never around anymore. " I snap.
" I'm working! " Joel lets out a breath.
" Your unbelievable. " I shake my head. I let out an angry laugh. " You know what, fuck this, Joel. You're not even listening to me. The point isn't that you're working late, it's that you don't bother to call home and tell me about it. I care about you, Joel. What-What if you got hurt? What if you got into a car crash or fucking died somehow? I'd have no idea because you don't bother to call me. All I want is one call, and that's too much to ask of you. " I push past the broad shouldered man. " Your dinner's in the fucking oven. It's your favorite. "
With that I storm upstairs, grateful Sarah wasn't here to witness the fight. I barely close the bedroom door before the tears start to flow.
Downstairs I hear Joel curse as he drops something on the ground. I lean against the door, doing my best to listen to the man below. His footsteps die off as he most likely settles onto the couch.
I just want him to call home.
_______
The next morning I leave before Joel wakes up. I send a quick text to Sarah, letting her know there's some food in the fridge.
My day seems to fly by. Piles of paperwork seem to disappear in minutes. Before I know it, it's time to head home.
An unsettled feeling wracks my stomach, surely not a good feeling for the baby. I'm still pissed at Joel. I just wish he understood where I'm coming from.
I unlock the front door and am immediately met with silence.
No one's home.
I let out a small sigh, walking towards the kitchen. My eyes widen in surprise when I spot Joel sitting at the kitchen table, a pair of small shoes in his hands.
He found the gift.
Of course he did, I left it on the dresser last night.
" Surprise. " I state while making my way to the fridge. " You're gonna be a daddy. Again. " My voice is unenthusiastic. Not the way I planned telling him at all.
" I'm so fucking sorry. " Joel blurts out. He runs his rough fingers over the small white laces, following the rhythm of the string. " I'm an asshole. "
" That you are. " I agree.
Joel finally looks up at me. His sad expression breaks my anger. Suddenly, I'm torn. Do I keep acting angry or do I feel bad for him?
" I deserve that. I-I shouldn't have yelled at you last night. Pregnant or not- You didn't deserve that. I took out my anger on you. I've...fuck I'll just tell you. I've been working late to try to make some extra money for us. I wanted to take you somewhere for our anniversary. "
I take a seat next to him, shock filling my body. I had no idea.
" You're right, I should've called you. That was a dick move. I...I don't know why I didn't. I guess I was just scared I'd be tired and I'll accidentally tell you something? It doesn't fucking matter now. "
" Oh Joel..."
He continues. " I'm sorry about dinner last night. I should've come home. " He finishes, finally setting the shoes down into the small gold box I put them in originally.
I don't say anything. I wrap my arms around the man, sinking my head into the crook of his warm neck. " Yes, you should've called, but I shouldn't have have been so aggressive. My emotions have just been all over the place. " My eyes begin to tear up. I feel a tightness in the back of my throat as I pull away from Joel. " I feel so much angrier than I usually do. "
Joel pulls me back into his embrace. " It's okay, honey. It's the baby. It's okay. " He tries to sooth me. " I love you so much, and I promise, I'm going to cut back my hours. "
" And you're gonna call, right? " I look up at him from my spot against his chest.
" Yes, I swear I'll call from now on. I have to, what if something happens to you and the baby. " He furrows his brows in worry. " I'll call you every hour. I promise. "
I let out a small laugh, wiping a tear away. " I think every few hours is okay, babe. "
" No every half hour. Who knows what could happen. Your office has steep stairs-we should see if the elevator there is fixed yet. " Joel mutters.
" Okay that might be a little overkill. " I crinkle my nose. " How about you just call when you're going to be late. Alright? "
" I can do that. "
#fanfiction#fanfic#joel miller x reader#joel miller#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fic#joel the last of us#the last of us fic#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#the last of us x reader#the last of us fanfic#the last of us
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Truth
I am not ignorant to the fact I’m writing a gay sex scene and everyone is hanging out in Syria. Resources below.
Guardians of Equality Movement
Syria LGBTQI+ Resources
Equaldex LGBT rights in Syria
I cant stop writing for this series. Every time I say I'll take a break I pump out another outline...
MDNI +18 content
Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Slow burn (sorry but not sorry). 2.7k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe.
CW: MDNI +18 content Mentions of torture, torture, smut, blowjob (male receiving & giving), language. First proper Johnny x Simon scene, IDK it just felt right...
Previous parts - masterlist - next part
Enjoy <3
Johnny was grabbing something to eat in the canteen when he watched Ghost walked over to him. He knew something was wrong, he had that cold look in his eyes. The one he gets when he has to focus on the job and nothing else matters, not even him. Johnny swallowed hard standing up to meet Ghost.
“Come.” It’s all he says but it makes the hairs stand up on the back of Johnny’s neck. Johnny follows they walk into an observation room. Johnny gasps when he sees you handcuffed the table head hanging down.
“What happened?” Johnny asked looking round the room his eyes falling on Jack who’s stood there arms crossed.
“We believe she’s responsible for the murder of the doctor.” Jack says. Johnny laughs, looking around at everyone else being serious.
“Christ, what’s the evidence?” Johnny asked.
“Her ID was used to withdraw large amounts of insulin which is believed to be the cause of death.” Johnny looked at Jack shocked then at Price.
“Has she said anything?” Johnny asked feeling sick. There is no way you did that, this has to be a set up, something… Johnny just knew it in his gut, you were innocent.
“No, she’s not talking.” Price said, Johnny could hear something in his voice. Sadness? Annoyance?
“I heard you are very good at your job lieutenant,” Jack says taking a step closer to Ghost.
“‘Pends on what you heard.” Ghost replies remaining still, looking through the one way glass you’ve not moved, not wanting them to see your pained expression.
“I heard you can get people to talk, and we really need her to talk.” Jack says.
“We can try other ways before sending Ghost in.” Price says. Jack scoffs.
“If she’s been trained by the enemy she won’t break.” He says walking to the door.
“You have 24 hours to get her to talk or you’re out of here.” Everyone looked at Price. He went to sit down.
“You heard him, make her talk.” Price says.
“We don’t torture innocent people.” Ghost’s voice is level, he still hasn’t moved.
“We’re not torturing anyone just question her you’ve got to buy me some time, look like you’re doing your jobs so I can figure out a solution.” Price sighs.
“It’s wrong.” Johnny says. Price sighs again getting up.
“LT, Gaz go to security I want anything you can find, from the moment she wakes up in the morning to the second she’s asleep. She takes a piss I want to know about it, where her card was swiped who has seen her anything, and quickly before Jack can replace staff.” Price says as he walks over to Johnny.
“Come on let’s go have a chat with her, maybe she’ll tell us something useful” Price says his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny knows Price is trying to calm him but there is nothing on the face of the world right not that can slow his mind. He looks back through the window, guilt rises up as Ghost and Gaz leave the room. It’s times like this Johnny envies Simon being able to hide his face. Price squeezes his shoulder he looks in Price’s eyes, they look sad understanding. It doesn't make Johnny feel any better.
——————————
You can’t look at Simon’s eyes when he’s the room, the caramel eyes you used to lose yourself in, they’re just dark now, dark and uncaring. Johnny’s in sometimes, he won’t even look at you let alone in your eyes any more, the eyes you used to look in for comfort, love, hope. You don’t know what's worse. Price is the one who questions you, always the same questions.
How did you do it?
Why did you do it?
Who do you work for?
How long have you known about 141?
Did you get close to them on purpose?
Did you use them to get information on 141?
Why?
He never says their names, Johnny, Simon. It’s always just ‘them’ he doesn’t have to say their names, you know who he means. Maybe you did betray them? Maybe this was all your fault?
By the second day you can’t remember the doctors name, just the fact he’s leaving a kid and a wife behind. You’re moved into a windowless cell, you’re woken up at random times, you’re starting to lose track of time. It’s only after what you think is the third day it becomes violent. Jack is the only one who’s violent, he’s around a lot more, there are new questions.
Why this base?
Why now?
Do you know anything about the arms sales to Al-qatala?
Have you ever been to Urzikstan?
Why kill an innocent doctor?
Why insulin?
Why are you betraying 141?
Why?
Jack is the only one who will look you in the eye, he likes to look you in the eyes but he’s not kind. You become numb to the attacks, the repetitiveness of the torture, you hate that word, torture, it makes you feel guilty. You’re not guilty. Or maybe you are.
“I wouldn’t use insulin.” You say after a particularly rough session.
“What’s that?” jack asks, his face up in yours but you can still only just make out his features, nose, lips, chin, in your blurry haze he just looks angry.
“If I was going to kill him I wouldn’t use insulin, too easy to be traced.” He doesn't like that answer, he doesn’t like anything you say if it’s true or not.
You enjoy Gaz’s visit’s, he’s the member of 141 you had not met yet, he brings you food, soup or rice mostly. He doesn't question you, doesn't talk to you. Just tries to feed you food, or at least swallow gulps of water that burn your throat. He doesn’t need to do this for you, you don’t know him, he makes you feel strangely guilty. You used to spit out the food not accepting anything from him, when he said they would start tube feeding you, you relented accepting the spoonful's of thick soup or rice and beans. He’s got kind eyes.
You don’t see Simon or Johnny anymore, maybe they’ve given up on you, maybe they don’t care. Jack tells you they don’t care. Price is there sometimes you think, it’s getting harder to tell, the passage of time becoming almost impossible to follow, you think it’s been 3 days, maybe 4, maybe 5. Your stomach growls, you haven’t seen the sunlight in days. Your body hurts from being upright all the time.
“You should give her a break.” It’s Simon’s voice that pulls you out of your half conscious state. You see him stood in the door way, all black, his face covered. It’s not the voice you know, not the kind voice you’re used to it’s something different. It makes you shiver, makes the hairs stand up on your body. You try not to cry, only letting tears fall down your face after Gaz has been, then you know you’ll be left alone for a few hours. You don’t want to let them break you but it’s becoming harder to think.
Someone bursts bursts through the door to the room pinning Jack to the wall. The noise makes you jump and you try to lift your head up but it’s too hard, your neck hurts. You blink hearing shouting, then you feel hands on your face, it feels like Johnny’s hands they’re warm he’s forcing you to look at his face. Everything is blurry you try to squint. You feel movement behind you.
“I’m so sorry it took us so long love.” It’s Johnny’s voice you’re sure, your head is spinning though, you can’t tell. Your eyes move past Johnny, you think you see Simon, you think that’s him, you feel your head slump in Johnny’s hand as your restraints are cut lose. You must of blacked out for a second because the next thing you know is being on the floor. Johnny scoops you up in his arms and you lean up against his chest.
“it's over now, we've got you.” Johnny whispers in your ears. You’re blinded by lights as Johnny carries you out to the room to the medbay. You recognise the smell, that’s a good thing you’re not totally broken, you can smell the clean sheets, the smell of antiseptic. There are hands all over you now, people touching you, so many lights. You reach for Johnny, where did he go? You start to panic trying to pull yourself up. Is it a trick? Are they doing this to finally try and break you?
“Johnny!” You call searching for his hands. You feel a sharp pain travel down your arm. You feel your breath catch in your throat, your body being pressed down. Maybe this is the end you’re in too much pain and too tired to tell. You feel your body slump down as ringing grows louder in your ears, it doesn’t take long before everything goes black.
——————————
Johnny wakes to Simon’s hands on his shoulders. He looks over at your body still unconscious, still with tubes shoved down your throat. Simon pulls a chair up next to him, Simon’s started caring less and less who sees them together, especially at night.
“The doc’s say the swelling in her head’s gone down.” Johnny says leaning forward in his chair.
“When was the last time you slept?” Simon asks him.
“Got a nice kip before you woke me.” Johnny replies. Simon sighs, his hand running up the back of Johnny’s neck.
“You really should get some sleep, some proper sleep.” Simon says. Johnny scoffs.
“4 days,” he says, looking back up at you.
“4 day’s, we let her suffer.” Johnny says quieter. Simon sighs his forehead resting on Johnny. Simon know’s how guilty Johnny feels, he feels the same too, he’s just better at hiding it.
“Come.” Simon says getting up extending his hand out for Johnny. Johnny looks up at him blinking.
“Give me five minutes.” Simon pleads. Johnny sighs standing up and following him. He lets Simon guide him all the way to the dorms into Simon’s room. Johnny has never left the bedside since you had been moved to Damascus. Simon had tried to get some alone time with him but he can tell Johnny’s guilt weighs heavy on his shoulders, he want’s to be there when you wake.
Simon pulls Johnny into his room, locking the door. Johnny tries to protest but Simon is too quick, his hands guiding Johnny’s hips pushing him against the wall. Simon’s hand slips under the front of his mask pulling it off over his head, he looks up at Johnny his thumb stroking his cheek. Simon looks almost sad, he can see the pain in Johnny’s eyes, the anger, he feels it too.
Simon presses his lips onto Johnny, forcing his tongue in his mouth as his hands reach under his shirt. Johnny seems to relax for a second enjoying the taste of Simon on his lips, playing with his tongue. Simon pulls away moving to Johnny’s neck planting little kisses all the way down to his collar bones. His head tips back hitting the wall as Simon pulls Johnny’s shirt over his head.
“Si, we shouldn’t leave her.” Johnny says as Simon is burying his head into Johnny's neck.
“She’ll be fine.” Simon says his voice low, almost a groan, as he continues to run his tongue down Johnny’s neck, Johnny’s hands moving up Simon’s back eventually running his fingers through his hair. Johnny doesn’t fight Simon, enjoying the feel of his husbands hands on his body as Simon’s hands slip under Johnny’s waistband pulling his trousers and boxers down. Simon is moving slow, slow and gentle working his hands down Johnny’s stomach to his abdomen, Johnny is almost desperate gripping Simon’s hair as he moves his tongue round Johnny’s body.
“Si..” Johnny moans as Simon’s hands find their way to Johnny’s semi-hard cock. Simon want’s to almost beg Johnny to relax, instead running his hand up and down his shaft. Johnny presses his forehead on Simon’s chest moaning as he pushes his hands slipping under Simon’s shirt. Johnny trembles as Simon uses both his hands to pleasure him, his breathing becoming faster. Simon keeps Johnny’s body pressed up against the wall as Johnny starts thrusting his hips, fucking Simon’s hands. Johnny had felt this many times before, Simon giving him pleasure, but never quite like this, his emotions high, endorphins pumping through his body, Johnny starts to tense again Simon pulls away, a whimper leaving Johnny’s lips.
“On the bed.” Simon says guiding him over as Johnny blindly follows his instructions laying flat. Simon takes his boots and the rest of his pants off flinging them to the side. Johnny lays his head back on the pillows as Simon licks the precum off Johnny’s tip making him moan his hands desperately trying to grab Simon’s hair. Simon smiles then thrusts his mouth round his cock taking him all the way to the hilt.
The pleasure is almost overwhelming, Simon can feel it, Johnny’s body shaking a mix of pleasure and stress. Simon doesn't stop his hands running up Johnny’s chest as he positions himself in a more comfortably to suck him off. Johnny moans and gasps as Simon’s tongue presses into the underside of Johnny’s shaft, Simon can feel him twitching in his mouth enjoying each one as he get’s closer to the edge.
Simon can read Johnny’s body like a book, Johnny thinks he’s sly hiding his movements, his cheeky side glances, the heavy petting Johnny does when he’s in the mood, the way his fingers move around Simon’s body forcing his attention. He thinks he’s good at hiding it but Simon knows him, Simon loves him and right now Simon knows he needs to make Johnny relax.
Johnny’s hips are thrusting again Simon’s hands grip his waist trying to keep it in place. Johnny moans Simon’s name as he cums. Simon likes that, hearing Johnny call his name in the heat of the moment, Simon feels his own cock twitching in his pants as he rides Johnny through the orgasm making sure that Johnny is well and truly satisfied before pulling his mouth away. Simon enjoys the taste of Johnny’s cum in his mouth, the feel of his hot seed hitting the back of his throat. Johnny is still panting when Simon moves, sliding up next to him pulling his head on his chest.
Johnny moves to rest on his chest his still heartbeat still racing, Simon takes exaggerated breaths and Johnny subconsciously follows him. Simon reaches down pulling the duvet over Johnny, kissing his face running his fingers through his hair.
“You need to rest,” Simon says wrapping his arms round Johnny stroking his back. Johnny’s breathing starts to steady as Simon lowers his voice.
“You do this on purpose,” Johnny says sleepily. Simon smiles, he does do it on purpose. Johnny needs to rest, he’s no good to anyone if he can’t think straight.
“I’ll wake you if anything happens, I promise.” Simon says kissing his forehead.
——————————
The knock at the door pulls Johnny out his sleep, he jolts awake almost fighting over Simon to get out of bed.
“Easy.” Simon says as he moves swinging his legs out so Johnny can get up.
“You said you’d wake me if anything happened.” Johnny sounds frustrated puling his trousers and shirt on.
“This is the first thing that’s happened.” Johnny throws Simon’s mask at him opening the door before he gets chance to put it on. It’s only Price.
“She’s awake, she’s asking for you.” Price says. Johnny shoves his feet into his boots as Simon gets up off the bed moving over to the door. Johnny looks back at Simon smiling and rushes out the room pushing past Price. Simon follows Price stopping him in the doorway.
“What do you want to tell her about Jack?” Price asks. Simon sighs.
“Laswell found anything?” Simon asks walking with Price, he shakes his head.
“Still looking for a connection, he’ll be punished for the way he questioned her, demoted at the very least, depends on what they feel like. Theres no evidence he spoofed her card we’re lucky there were so many witnesses. We’re lucky we could clear her name so quick.” Price says. It still took 4 days.
“Think he can justify his actions?” Simon asks.
“Let’s see, we’ve got other things to focus on now.” Price walks into her room Simon hangs back for a second. A wave of guilt washing over him, he just wanted to hold her jump into bed with her, apologise. 4 days we let her suffer, Johnny’s words replaying in his head. Never again, he promises himself.
Next part
#cod#ghoap#call of duty#fanfic#ghoap fic#ghoap x reader#ghost x soap#simon ghost riley#ao3 fanfic#ao3#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghost cod#john price#kyle gaz garrick#simon riley x reader#simon riley x john mactavish x reader#simon riley x john mactavish#simon riley smut#simon x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny soap mctavish x reader#johnny soap mctavish x you#soap x ghost#soap cod#soap x reader#141#call of duty ghost
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Magma- Bakugo x Reader
Bakugo x Support Course Shoto's Twin Sister Reader (Pt.2)
<- (Previous Pt.1)
Bakugo x Support Course Shoto's Twin Sister Reader
Summary: After taking on the responsibility of fixing Bakugo gauntlets, Y/n Todoroki now has to deal with Bakugo nosy ass questions and remarks.
For Background Info: This is before any major events like the usj or sports festival. I don't think anybody know about Shoto's fire quirk til then. Correct me if I'm wrong but idk
Also for story purposes Y/n has black hair and as well as the infamous blue todoroki eyes.
"So your quirk is Nitroglycerin? Are you constantly sweating, or can you control the output? " Y/n questions Bakugo as they are seated away from their classmates at lunch. Bakugo agitated from so many questions. Why couldn't you just fix his shit.
"Tch. Yes, and I can control it, you idiot. But sometimes, the stupid weather makes it harder to produce sweat." He says, grumbling eating his food.
Y/n nods as she writes down a few words in her notebook.
"Do you know what kind of metal was used to make your gauntlets?" Y/n asks.
"HAH? HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW!? You're the damn epxert you tell me!" Bakugo yells but is lost through the volume of the cafeteria. Gauntlets are now thrown out to you on the table.
"Jeez, relax. You'd think you would be more cooperative if you wanted them done quickly." Y/n sighs as she examines the shatter gauntlets.
"I'm tired of your damn questions. Maybe you should've gotten your brother's quirk and become a hero. That way, you'd talk less and actually do more!" Bakugo yell. His words were almost comical to you. Assuming you didn't have an impressive quick cause you're a support student.
Y/n not looking away from gauntlets. "You're totally right, but then I'd still have to deal with you constant yelling. At least I don't have to deal with you longer than I have to." She says as she grabs her notebook again.
" WHY YOU LITTLE-"
"It's the metal." Y/n cuts him off nonchalantly. As if she's dealt with his yelps for a millennia. Surprisingly, stopping Bakugo. After all, he's a man of knowledge. The more he knows about his gauntlets, the less he has to deal with coming to you to fix them.
"Continue Nerd." He says with gritted teeth
"The metal they used, although used for most fire type and explosive quirks, isn't compatible with your quirk chemicals. That's why they broke the second you used too much of your sweat." She says taking a bite of her food out of accomplishment.
"So what then huh?! How are you going to fix it."
"Well, obviously need new material which is good considering this metal is known to be heavier than most. Not that you'd noticed cause you're a 'so strong' hero student." Y/n says sarcastically. Bakugo glares at her, but before he can chew her out she speaks again.
"I can look into a different material to make entirely new gauntlets, but that's going to take a while to make. The best I can do for you right now is fix these for training, but you can't blast another nuclear bomb at someone again." She finishes as she fiddles with her pencil
"That shit sound it's going to take ages!?" He says angrily out of the thought of not receiving new gear for the next few months at least.
"Well, luckily, a lava quirk and ice quirk do pretty well with speeding the progress of mending metal then, huh?" Y/n says with a smirk.
"Relax. If I'm getting a grade for this, then I'll make sure you're first priority." Y/n says with a wave of a hand before taking another spoonful of food.
"You have a fucking lava quirk?" Bakugo asks. Although he isn't much as a nerd as his childhood rival he can't help but be curious.
"Yup. It was my grandmother's quirk before the quirk de-evolved into flames." Y/n says
"What a waste. You can easily be better than your brother's ice quirk." Bakugo states almost if he's complimenting you. That sure is a first, but again, Bakugo can't ignore potential people who can be better heroes than him.
"I'm flattered but I don't really care for heroics. I help the world by helping you all. It's more humble that most of the show boat heroes today." She grumbles out.
"So you think you're dad is some show boat?" Bakugo pushes almost trying to gain information (more like drama) on the number 2 hero. Y/n, catching his trick, glares at him.
Bakugo catches a glimpse of red streaks of lava, appearing in your hair. He smirks as he realizes he has striked a nerve.
"I never said that." She says annoyedly. As if she was going to open up about her family dynamic to him.
"Easy there, magma, or your hair is gonna blow a gasket." He says with his signature smirk. His red eyes meeting Y/n piercing blue glare.
His word hit Y/n as fast as her hair turns back. "Shut up," Y/n mutters. She then touches her hair out of habit
This surprisingly lets out a chuckle from the blonde. "Tch. At least I'm not the one who is a walking volcano. Do you always have to cool that shit down?" He asks, earning an eye roll from Y/n.
"Not that's it's any of your business, but yes." She mumbles.
"Hah. I bet you struggle using product on that rat's nest you call hair." Bakugo jokingly lies.
He thinks your hair is fine. Flawless even. Not one out of place hair. But he won't admit that to you. If anything, he's curious to see how long it would take him to see you're hair completely turned into lava. Red suited you.
However, you didn't take that remark lightly and threw a piece of his broken gauntlets at him. Causing him to snap back to reality and hold his head in pain (and also anger obvi)
"As if I'd listen to you, pomeranian!"
(Next Part 3) ->
What can I say, I love a good harmless enemies to lovers trope. 🤷♀️
#mha bakugo#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bhna bakugo#bakugo katsuki
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