#john b angst

[softly-faye]

𝐔𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚-𝐕𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ౨ৎ

“He hit me and it felt like a kiss…”

You used to be someone.

Sunburnt knees and wind-tangled hair. Late nights in the hammock behind John B’s chateau, your voice blending into JJ’s laughter, Kiara’s sarcastic comebacks, Pope’s calm reason. Your world had sand in its teeth and salt in its veins, and you loved it because it was yours.

And then you met Rafe Cameron.

No you knew him before. Everyone did. Rich boy. Golden boy. Violent boy. Sarah’s older brother with rage behind his eyes and a temper that didn’t need provocation.

You knew what he was.

You just didn’t think he’d ever want you.

But when he did, he wanted all of you.

And now? You don’t belong to yourself anymore.

You’d be lying if you said you friends did care—cause they did more then anything.

You got text after text…

They were mad, and they had every right to be.

John B: you alive or nah? We just want to know you’re safe.

Pope: guess being a pogue is that shitty huh? Once a pogue always a pogue no matter what fancy fucking car ur in.

JJ: seriously tho. what did we do? was it me? if it was me just fuckin say it.

Kiara: cmon pls call us, atleast let us know ur ok 🩷?

JJ: don’t bother anymore if you wanna be his little toy, wtv. we tried.

You read every word, and each one felt like a blade twisting between your ribs.

You wanted to scream: I miss you. I’m not okay. Please come get me.

But Rafe was asleep in the next room. And your phone had his fingerprint now.

You sat on the bathroom floor that night in his house marble floors cold beneath your thighs, his sweatshirt swallowing you whole. You stared at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, barely recognizing the girl blinking back.

She looked tired. Older. Expensive. Hollow.

There was a bruise just under your jawline — not dark, not dramatic. Just a quiet echo of where he gripped you too tightly earlier when you said you wanted to go home for the weekend. He’d pulled you against the wall and kissed you like punishment.

“You don’t need them,” he whispered against your lips. “You have me.”

And that’s how he says it, every time: You have me. Like it’s a gift. A promise. A threat.

He didn’t always hurt you.

Sometimes, he was tender. Obsessively so.

He brushed your hair with callused fingers while you sat between his legs on the floor. Bought you books he never let you read. Dressed you in white silk just to tear it off. Told you he wanted to make you better. Wanted to “fix the Pogue in you.”

You let him.

Because he’d helped your mom with her bills. Put gas in your car when it died. Bought your medication when your insurance lapsed. He made sure you needed him.

Its your own fault really, your are the one that flirted with him on the beach that one day the minute he gave you attention.

Then you ended up at dinner and a few dates later wearing expensive jewelry he bought while telling him you were completely a virgin even though we all know you and JJ fucked sophomore year on some random looks bed at a party.

And now you were nothing but a mouse trapped in an impossible cage to escape.

| JJ (1:30am) : Pls, we just wanna know you’re doing well. I mean at least turn on your read receipts so ik ur alive.

ʀᴇᴀᴅ 1:45ᴀᴍ.

[cute-sucker]

note: im begging for requests for this au!!! i'm sobbing, idk what character it is <3

˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.

jonbee taking care of you during an apocalypse and you're in near tears begging him to kiss you. it happens all the time, the casual way that he's dominant over you. if it's the way that he's so much taller, the way his rough hands feel on yours. he always drops a kiss on your forehead before serving you french toast.

you love the normality of it all. the way he's humming the song on the radio, and you're bobbing your head to it. ivy is growing in the trailer park, and the shorts you have on have dirt smudges all over it when the two of you were running.

yet john b is giving you everything he can to serve you a normal lifestyle. he's trying everything to make you feel better, tucking back your hair, and coaxing you to eat. he's even found an old apron that has, 'kiss the chef,' on it, and suddenly your tearing up, holding up your brittle knife and fork.

hot tears drip down your face, as you sniffle quietly nudging at the food on your plate. almost immediately john b turns around, eyes full of concern.

"hey? hey, what's wrong?" he murmers, dropping down to your level. his hat is on backwards, and you fight the urge to turn it the other way. "don't cry pup," he cooes, grazing your wet cheeks, and you fight the urge of jumping into his arms, or asking to sit on his lap. after all, the two of you are platonic anyways. that's clear to tell.

you choke on your sob, "iono, just feel this pressure on my chest. i really need to be close to someone." even as you say this, your eyes are wide ready to be rejected, but john be is always there for you, as his hands snake up your sides, and sits you down on his lap.

"alright now. let's eat something now. maybe that'll make the ache go away."

you nodd at his soft words. he's right, he's always right. the two of you could barley find normal food now, always preservatives, or food that makes you hurt. you like it when he embraces you like this, his big arms around your waist, as you feel like a kid swinging your legs. and yet here you are crying the one day that there is good food.

suddenly you feel worse. the world is ending, and you'll be dead soon, and john be will never be with you, and you will have never kissed anyone. you'll never be a librarian in a niche town with a husband who would kiss you off your feet. no, you will have never kissed someone! what a tragedy to love someone so deeply yet never touch their soothing lips. maybe john b's lips on yours would fix everything.

you feel so stupid.

finally, john b puts the fork down, warm breath on your neck, and he sets you off his lap to look you in the eye.

"i need you to tell me what's wrong, and so i can fix it." he whispers to you, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. you shake your head, feeling the pounding feeling in your chest, as if you were going to vomit but your stomach was empty.

john b sighs, his voice firm now, "this won't go away. show me where it hurts. do you feel sick?" he murmurs to you, giving you his hand to guide, and you tentivally take it to place it on your heart.

"here," you croak, "it hurts here."

he looks surprised, yet his eyes are warm as he speaks in his soothing tone, his words practically melting in your mouth, "why does it hurt pup?"

"i need you to kiss me," you blurt out, and let go of his hand, "so it can stop."

he tilts his head almost amused, "yea? you need me to kiss you, so your heart can stop hurting."

you hate the way he's teasing you, a soft lint in his tone, his large hands still settling on you as he talks to you. he's so gentle with you it burns your skin, it burns everything inside of you.

"i can't take it. i can't take the fact that i've never kissed someone," and then you pause, your voice a whimper, "i can't take it that i haven't kissed you jonbee-"

and then without a doubt, he looks at you again, his eyes so feverious, so full of emotion, burning with the exact same fire that you feel your body ablaze with.

just like that john b cups your jaw, and kisses you so sweetly you see stars.

[wrtzia]

Your murder - part 3

Summary ; When the police stop all research into your disappearance, closing the case and telling the world that you are dead, the Pogues make it their mission to avenge you.

Warning : mention of kidnapping,

Main masterlist - part 2

part 4

Taglist ; @chalahyung01, @mirellef2001, @voidangxls

[rafesfavoritegirl]

where currents collide

chapter 2: escape

𓂃⋆.˚ Viv, John B’s younger sister, just wants to escape the chaos of the pogues for a little while, after John B decided she can't come to a Kook party. After a night of tension and betrayal, she seeks some peace on her own, but it’s never that simple when you’re surrounded by the Pogues. What starts as a quiet moment alone on the beach turns into something unexpected when old wounds and new faces collide.

word count 1.1k

Content Warning: Mild language, emotional conflict, sibling dynamics, mentions of substance use, and tension-filled situations.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of family trauma (loss of a parent), emotional distress, mild substance use (marijuana), and moments of secrecy and betrayal.

As I watched everyone leave the house, I accepted defeat with humility. They were always going to perceive me as a little girl. I was disappointed in Jj most of all. He never used to choose sides. But now, knowing how he really felt, it stung to realize he was just like the rest of them. It all left me mentally and physically drained, pushing me to take a nap and escape for a little while from everything that had happened.

༄ ༄ ༄

I woke up feeling dehydrated, still unsettled by everything that had occurred earlier tonight. In an effort to clear my head, I decided to build a bonfire. I do not often get the house to myself, so I figured it was the perfect chance. Stepping into the yard, I spotted the hammock that Jj, John B, and I had put up when we were kids, still hanging from the tree. I grabbed some extra firewood to revive the ashes from the bonfire a couple nights before and headed back inside for a lighter, my phone, and my headphones.

Once I was back in the yard, I started to light the fire. When the flames finally caught, I settled into the hammock, slipped in my earbuds, and blasted my favorite playlist. The cool breeze brushed against my face, and for a moment, I realized maybe it wasn't so bad to have missed out on the chaos of tonight.

Just as I started to get comfortable in the silence combined with the arguments that happened previously, I did not hear the infamous sound of the half-broken twinkie entering the front yard, muffled by the music still in my ears. Once settled in, they made their way into the backyard, and suddenly, I could not ignore the look on their faces. They sat down, unintentionally crashing my bonfire, their eyes landing on me in my relaxed state.

"See? Told you staying home wouldn't kill you," John B said with a smug grin, clearly pleased with himself.

It only fueled my internal anger, making it burn even deeper. How could they sit there, knowing I was still upset? No apology, just laughing and reminiscing about the greatest night they have ever had, like nothing was wrong. Seeing my best friends ignore my existence, continuing to smile and laugh while I sat there in utter silence.

Hearing them all talk over one another, what caught my attention was Kie's voice: "Dude, when Jj brought the gun! I swear we were gonna get arrested," she said, and the rest of them laughed, agreeing with her.

I pulled off my headphones, cutting in. "Wait, what gun? What happened?" I asked, concern and curiosity creeping into my voice.

Kie dismissed me with a casual wave. "It was nothing," she said, laughing as she spun around, her back turned to me once again.

That was it. I stood up abruptly, my frustration boiling over. "Fuck this," I muttered, walking off without another word.

I headed to my room, shutting the door behind me, and sat down. For a moment, I just stared at the wall, my mind racing, trying to figure out what to do next. It took a moment, the silence giving me too much space to think.

༄ ༄ ༄

The bright white full moon shined through my window, and suddenly, an idea sparked. I needed to get to the beach—just to clear my head. I knew everyone was asleep by now, either in the living room or in John B's room, given the lack of space in our house.

That thought reminded me of how I would get there? The idea hit me out of nowhere, like a sudden rush of clarity. I could just take Jj's weed and the keys to his dirt bike. I needed a way to get out—escape, even if just for a little while—and the bike would get me to the beach in no time. Jj would not even notice, right? It was not like he was gonna miss it tonight, or even notice it was gone. Fixating on the thought, I convinced myself I would be back in time.

I knew where he kept everything—he always kept his stash of marijuana in that jar on the communal nightstand, and the keys to his bike were usually tossed carelessly on the dresser. I could not even explain why I was doing it, but it felt like the only way to get some space.

With that thought in mind, I quietly crept toward his room, my heart racing, but my mind set on the plan. I quietly opened Jj's door and paused for a moment, glancing at him as he slept, admiring how peaceful and cute he looked. A rush of guilt hit me—doing this behind his back felt wrong, but I could not shake what he had done. I knew he would be furious if he found out, but I had to go through with it. I tiptoed over to the drawer, quickly sorting through his mess, finding condoms and loose jewellery, until I found his dirt bike keys, weed and rolling paper. I left the house swiftly, starting up the bike, the engine roaring to life. I glanced back at the worn-down house, checking the window to see if I had woken anyone up. Coast clear. I grabbed the items I needed, then rushed out of his room, with everything at hand, I knew there was no turning back now.

༄ ༄ ༄

The moon reflected off the blue ocean as I parked the bike and made my way down to the beach—the same one the Pogues had visited not too long ago during their rioting. A few kooks were still hanging around, but I paid them no mind. I spread out my blanket and got ready to roll up.

I sat there, the mix of marijuana and saltwater breeze filling the air. For the first time in a while, I felt at peace, the worn-down headphones that I had earlier playing softly as I drifted into a stoned calm.

The kooks from when I had first arrived were packing up. Their infamous jeeps slowly rolled off the beach, and a part of me did not care, but another part felt relieved to be completely alone now—no talking, no people. Just silence.

That was until I saw a tall, shadowy figure making its way toward me. I did not think much of it, assuming they would just pass by. But then, without warning, the figure sat next to me. I was confused—though, in my stoned state, it did not register right away. I glanced to my right and froze. It was none other than Rafe Cameron.

Follow the wattpad, this fanfic will be posted consecutively every week with new chapters! : https://www.wattpad.com/user/rafesfavoritegirl-

[consciouscarrot]

john b routledge tags

[strrynigghts]

— series

— oneshots

[blac-ivy]

One thing golden era Wattpad writers had going for them was that they knew the importance of a buildup. I'm of the opinion that the sexual tension is WAY more satisfying to read than the actual sex and quite frankly there is a serious lack of non smutty writing.

Like I really miss reading fics/ x readers that start from scratch. Meeting the characters, initial reactions getting to know them, the tension the jealousy the TENSION the freaking tension.

Looking and looking away when they get spotted, touches that feel like they linger but perhaps they didn't and they're both so hot for each other that they think it's wishful thinking. And I don't mean just sweet sunshine romances, darker works can have a buildup too but it seems like so much is just about getting to the smut instead of the psychological aspect.

Bring back the build up!!!!!!!

[drewstarkeyluvbot]

MASTERLIST!

I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY ~ Rafe Cameron (COMPLETED!)

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

SMAU AND TEXTS!

PAIRING: Rafe Cameron x kook!reader

SUMMARY: You've always been a robust and steady presence in Rafe's life; from toothy, toddler smiles to screaming teenage outbursts , the admiration between you inevitably blossomed. Time passes, emotions evolve, things change, people change , and the line between friendship and the unknown suddenly blurs, making both of you stumble into a state of irreversible circumstances —

— But I love you , I'm sorry.

WARNINGS: angst , drinking , cursing , mention of drugs /past drug addiction, brief mention of vomiting and parental death ,sexual innuendos, sexting (kind of?)

PROLOGUE ♡

PART ONE ♡

PART TWO ♡

PART THREE ♡

PART FOUR ♡

PART FIVE ♡

PART SIX ♡

PART SEVEN ♡

PART EIGHT ♡

PART NINE ♡

PART TEN ♡

PART ELEVEN ♡

PART TWELVE ♡

PART THIRTEEN ♡

PART FOURTEEN ♡

PART FIFTEEN ♡

PART SIXTEEN ♡

PART SEVENTEEN ♡

PART EIGHTEEN ♡

PART NINETEEN ♡

PART TWENTY ♡

PART TWENTY ONE ♡

PART TWENTY TWO ♡

PART TWENTY THREE ♡

PART TWENTY FOUR ♡

PART TWENTY FIVE ♡

PART TWENTY SIX ♡

PART TWENTY SEVEN ♡

PART TWENTY EIGHT ♡

PART TWENTY NINE ♡

EPILOGUE ♡

[novascharms]

the masterlist 

teach please me — tutor!reader x soccer player!rafe - reader's life is meticulously planned, from high school to becoming president of the country—she knows exactly where she's headed and every step to get there. but her airtight plan hits a snag when the principal ropes her into tutoring rafe cameron, the school’s star soccer player, who’s failing algebra and at risk of being benched next season. the team needs him on the field, and reader needs the principal’s glowing recommendation to secure her spot at her dream school. balancing her ambitious goals with rafe’s chaotic charm might just throw her perfectly crafted plan off track. ୨୧ chapter one ୨୧ chapter two ୨୧ chapter three ୨୧ chapter four ୨୧ chapter five ୨୧ chapter six ୨୧ chapter seven ୨୧ chapter eight  ୨୧ chapter nine ୨୧ chapter ten ୨୧ chapter eleven ୨୧ chapter twelve ୨୧ chapter thirteen ୨୧ chapter fourteen ୨୧ chapter fifteen ୨୧ chapter sixteen ୨୧ chapter seventeen ୨୧ chapter eighteen ୨୧ chapter nineteen ୨୧ chapter twenty ୨୧ the epilogue chapter one ୨୧  chapter two ୨୧  chapter three ୨୧  chapter four ୨୧ chapter five ୨୧ 

the 18+ folder ୨୧ school work is taking you out and rafe helps you destress. ୨୧ you get jealous and rafe shows you you don’t need to be. ୨୧ you and rafe need to study the next algebra chapter but he has different plans.

visuals

[nemesyaaa]

LITERALLY me while reading (stitch is my bby)

THIS IS SO SO SAD. BUT I LOVE GOOD ANGST LIKE THIS ESPECIALLY WITH JOHN B ?? I FEEL LIKE SAD PLOT FIT HIM VERY WELL. I NEED TO PLAY SOMEONE LIKE YOU BY ADELE. I MEAN I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE SONG CODED, BUT THE STORYLINE MAKE ME THINK OF THE SONG TOO'. AS ALWAYS, THIS IS AMAZING !! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SERIES. TYSM !!! ✨

‘I’m sorry. I just have to see for myself. KFKZKDE NOT MY HEART BREAKING INTO YOUR WORDS

“you know that’s not true. look, listen to me—”IM NOT LIKE READER, I WILL BE SO WEAK IN FRONT OF JOHN B. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. AND HIS VOICE TOO....

“i have to! okay i—” he takes a breath, ripping his fisherman cap off to run a hand through matted brown hair, streaks of silvery grey through the sides illuminated in the warm orangey light of the chateau that made your heart clench with fondness and familiarity. “its not right that i’m feeling this way for someone so much younger than me, and more importantly — it’s not right that you’re dating someone so much older! you should… i don’t know, be out there! experiencing the dating pool! going on dates with guys that are allowed to be seen with you! not… your dads friend.” he shakes his head, defeated. THIS IS SO ANGSTY ???? WHAT I TRULY APPRECIATE. THE MIXED FEELINGS THAT JOHN B FEEL MAKE ME WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF. LIKE HE WANTS THE READER SO BAD BUT HE DONT WANT HER TO WASTED HER YOUTH ?? THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING HARD ROLLERCOSTER ACTUALLY. I GOT HIM, BUT PLEASE, DONT YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY YOURSELF ????

“uhm, did you walk here in a storm? are you— what, have you lost your mind now?” HELLOOO MOTHERFUCKER (READER CORE LMFAOOO) SHES A BOSS

now you’re knocking at the older man’s door, shivering from the icy droplets that are tickling your hot skin. you feel feverish, wrong, all muddled up. john b was yours. THAT LAST LINE. YES. GURL. HE'S YOURS.

I THINK IT'S MY FAVORITE ONE-SHOT OF THE SERIE

⊹ ᜊ(ᜊ ´ ˘)੭ ♡ … DUMB & POETIC ♡

track eight of the short n’sweet series. pairing: dbf!johnb + reader. based loosely off the song dumb & poetic by sabrina carpenter. enjoy! ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱

word travels fast when you’re hopelessly in love with your dads best and youngest friend.

rain was starting to spit down on the crown of your head as you marched your way up the dry grass to the chateau. a storm was headed your way, and john b was probably to give you a real earful at the fact you’d even walked here so late in the evening with a storm on the horizon but that didn’t matter. it seemed a feeble thing now, too focused on the tugging of your heart strings.

“old john b’s got himself a date.” your father had chuckled into his newspaper that morning and you froze at the sink, pouring milk into your coffee. your skin felt hot, eyes prickly.

“what?” you ask quietly, trying your hardest to sound unshaken by the news.

“the guys down at the garage stitched him up. i didn’t get involved, was too busy working but… yeah. finally getting himself out there. was wonderin’ when he might. times ticking for him.”

your milk pours over the rim of your now overflowing coffee mug and you curse, lurching to clean it up.

now you’re knocking at the older man’s door, shivering from the icy droplets that are tickling your hot skin. you feel feverish, wrong, all muddled up. john b was yours.

he’s frowning when he opens the door, and you don’t let him speak.

“is it true?” you yell over the wind, voice cracking and he pulls you inside by the arm.

“uhm, did you walk here in a storm? are you— what, have you lost your mind now?”

“is it true, john b?” you don’t lower your voice even though you’re inside now, infact your words are punctuated by a harsh shove at his chest. he stills, staring down at you solemnly and shamefully.

“i assume your…dad told you—”

“so this — us, it just means nothing to you?” you go in for another push, crying now and he catches your wrists, eyes softening sympathetically as he pulls you in.

“you know that’s not true. look, listen to me—”

“who is she?” you wail and he holds your wrists tighter.

“listen to me!” he raises his weathered brow, hands loosening around your wrists just enough to swipe his fingers gently in windscreen wipers on the skin. you stare up at him expectedly — fat tears even frozen on your cheeks and his shoulders drop slightly. how was he meant to compete? it wasn’t fair when you looked at him like that. “the guys at the garage set me up.” he explains calmly and you’re quick to cut him off.

“and you agreed! you could have just said—”

“i have to! okay i—” he takes a breath, ripping his fisherman cap off to run a hand through matted brown hair, streaks of silvery grey through the sides illuminated in the warm orangey light of the chateau that made your heart clench with fondness and familiarity. “its not right that i’m feeling this way for someone so much younger than me, and more importantly — it’s not right that you’re dating someone so much older! you should… i don’t know, be out there! experiencing the dating pool! going on dates with guys that are allowed to be seen with you! not… your dads friend.” he shakes his head, defeated.

“i don’t care about all that!” you step up to him, a glimmer of hope in your eyes.

“well i do!” he bellows back, and just like that it dies.

you crumple, heels of your hands coming to press into your eyes as you lower yourself to the floor. you mewl in devastation, salty tears burning into your retinas and he watches in heartbreak, heaving out a long sigh before lowering himself to the floor with you.

“its not fair! its not fair— just because shes older than me doesn’t mean — it doesn’t —”

“i know.” he mutters into your hairline, pressing a kiss there. you clutch his shirt like he’s the only thing keeping you tied down gravitationally to earth.

you get real worked up into hysterics so soon he’s calming you down the only way he knows how, straw-feeding you water as you sit in his bed wearing his clothes, still snivelling. he shuffles in beside you with a book, pulling your head to rest down on his shoulder and shushing you when you fight.

“you think y’know everything john b.” you croak, glaring at the dumb pretentious poetry book on his lap.

he clears his throat, flipping to a random page.

“though the night was made for loving, and the day returns too soon, yet we'll go no more a roving, by the light of the moon—” his husky voice begins to read, lulling you into that calm safe space that only he creates. there’s a lingering sadness in your chest when you drift off, knowing it could be the last time and between his words you’re sure you whisper a “dont go”. but you’re not sure whether or not you dreamt it.

you wake up at noon somehow. all that crying wore you out and it goes without saying with the situation you’re in, you didn’t have the greatest sleeping pattern. sticky eyes flutter from the alarm clock, to the absence of john b in his own bed beside you. you hope for the reassuring sound of coffee being stirred or the tv in the living room but the chateau is deathly quiet. once your eyes focus, you’re confronted with a note on the bed side table.

his familiar scrawl, it reads —

‘I’m sorry. I just have to see for myself.

— Yours, J.B ♡’

[rafesfavoritegirl]

where currents collide

chapter 13: where the waves lead

*last chapter of this fic*

𓂃⋆.˚ Viv struggles with Rafe ignoring her after a drunken call the night before. Determined to confront him, she attends a Kook party with Sarah. At the party, she discovers Rafe kissing another girl, sparking a heated argument where he accuses her of harboring feelings for Jj. The confrontation escalates, drawing Jj into the drama. After a chaotic fight involving Rafe, Jj, and the Kooks, Jj defends Viv, but later, an intimate moment between them ends abruptly when Viv realizes her heart still belongs to Rafe. Conflicted, she finds Rafe at the beach, and their emotional reunion leads to a passionate kiss, rekindling their connection.

word count 1.9k

content warnings: underage drinking, toxic relationships, heated arguments, physical violence, emotional manipulation, and romantic tension, smut.

As we made our way home, laughter and reminiscing filled the air, the memories of tonight still vivid. I couldn’t believe Jj had defended me—it felt surreal. Once we arrived, everyone drifted to the back of the house to set up a bonfire. Meanwhile, Jj climbed onto the couch, his usual carefree self.

I glanced around to make sure no one was nearby before mustering the courage to ask him something. “Hey, I want to take my dress off... could you unzip it?” My voice came out softer than I intended. Without a word, Jj followed me as I headed to my room.

As we stepped inside, he quietly closed the door behind him, turning the lock with a soft click. I turned to face him briefly, then quickly pivoted, presenting my back. His fingertips lightly traced along my spine, brushing my hair forward over my shoulder. The warmth of his hand resting gently on my shoulder sent an unexpected shiver through me.

He slowly unzipped my dress, the fabric slipping away to reveal a navy blue lace bra and matching panties that complemented the dress perfectly. His hands lingered at my waist, and his voice was low and filled with something unspoken as he murmured, “You look really sexy.”

Before I could process his words, I turned and kissed him, instinct overriding thought. His hand tangled in my hair, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. His other hand traveled down my back, skillfully unhooking my bra. The bra fell away, and he paused just long enough to admire me. He moves his hands back firmly around my waist, lifting me effortlessly as he carries me to the bed, my legs wrapping around his waist.

Our lips never parted as he lowered me gently onto the mattress, his body pressing against mine. The heat between us built as his hands roamed, his fingers unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants without breaking the rhythm of our kiss. His touch was everywhere, igniting sparks as he reached into my nightstand, retrieving a condom. He asked me “Are you sure?”

His words hit me with a storm of emotions, was I ready?, a sudden realization struck me, freezing me in place.

“I can’t do this,” I said, pulling a random shirt on my bed back over my head, my voice trembling.

Jj froze mid-movement, his shirt nowhere to be found and his jeans unbuttoned. “Did I do something wrong? What happened?” he asked, confusion and worry etched on his face.

Without answering, I turned away, grabbing my phone from the bedside table. The screen lit up with a string of missed calls and texts from Rafe, all filled with apologies. My heart sank. Shoving the phone into my pocket, I began hastily putting my clothes back on.

Jj, now attempting to get fully dressed, zipped up his fly and moved closer. “Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?” His voice cracked slightly, frustration creeping in.

“It’s not you,” I mumbled, fumbling with my jacket and slipping on my shoes.

“Not me?” he repeated, his tone sharp. “So, what? We almost fuck and then you just decide to dip?”

I hesitated, my hand gripping the doorframe. The words I was about to say felt like a dagger in my chest, but they needed to be said. “I’m sorry, Jj,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “But I think I’m in love with Rafe.”

His face fell, disbelief flashing in his eyes. “What?” he started, but I didn’t let him finish.

Before he could say anything more, I grabbed the keys to the Twinkie from the counter and bolted for the door.

“Wait—just stop for a second!” Jj called after me, but I didn’t turn around. My footsteps echoed in the hallway, and within moments, I was gone.

Jj stood there, alone in the silence, staring at the spot where I’d just been, his fists clenching at his sides.

Frustration bubbled up, but it wasn’t enough to deter me. My heart led the way as I decided to drive to the beach—the one where we’d had our first real conversation. It felt like the only place I might find some clarity.

The drive blurred past, my mind racing with what-ifs and unanswered questions. When I finally arrived, I parked the Twinkie and stepped out, the salty breeze hitting my face. Kicking off my shoes, I grabbed them in one hand and began walking across the warm sand.

I think to myself as I drive, If he isn’t here, it’s a sign. I’ll take it as a loss and let it go. 

The sun was dipping low, painting the sky with a mix of blue and black tones. I made my way toward the shoreline. My feet sank into the soft sand with each step, my heart pounding harder the closer I got.

Then, I saw him.

A tall, lean figure stood in the distance, facing the horizon. Even from afar, I recognized the way he carried himself—the sharp line of his shoulders, the effortless confidence in his stance. My breath hitched as realization hit me.

It was Rafe.

He hadn’t seen me yet, and for a moment, I froze, torn between relief and anxiety. But there he was, exactly where I hoped he’d be. 

I tapped his shoulder gently to get his attention and murmured, “Hey.” He turned at the sound of my voice, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. “Viv?” he said, his tone unsure but warm.

I stepped around him so we were face to face, my heart pounding. Before I could even find the words, he pulled me into a hug. His arms felt strong, and his voice was filled with regret. “Viv, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.”

I hugged him back tightly, but after a moment, I pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. “Rafe, I don’t care about that,” I said softly. Then, without hesitation, I leaned in and kissed him.

The moment our lips met, something shifted. It was different from my kiss with Jj—this felt real, raw, and everything I’d been craving. The kisses deepened, growing more passionate as the seconds stretched.

Rafe broke away briefly, his eyes meeting mine, filled with longing. Without a word, he tugged his shirt off hastily, the fabric flying to the side. His hands found the hem of my shirt, and he paused. “Can I?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

I nodded, my breath catching, and he pulled it over my head in one swift motion, his lips capturing mine again with even more intensity.

The heat between us built quickly. I tugged at his belt, fumbling slightly before he took over, unfastening it and dropping both his pants and boxers in one smooth motion. His hands slid to my waist, pulling my shorts down and leaving me as bare as he was.

Now, with nothing between us, the air felt electric, and all that mattered was the closeness we’d been denying for so long.

We lay down on the soft sand, his hands gently guiding me as if to ensure every movement felt right. His touch was deliberate, exploring every curve of my body, his fingers trailing over my skin with reverence. He pressed kisses along my neck, his lips warm and lingering.

Slowly, he worked his way down, his mouth brushing against my collarbone, then my stomach, tracing the delicate curve of my waist. His kisses grew more purposeful as he reached the soft space between my stomach and thighs, holding me gently by my legs as his lips explored the sensitive skin just above my vagina.

He paused, lifting his gaze to meet mine, his eyes asking the unspoken question: Are you sure? This time, I answered aloud, my voice steady despite the rush of emotions. “Yes.” This was what I wanted—what I had been longing for.

With a knowing look, he leaned in closer, his lips tracing the edges of my most sensitive places, teasing and gentle. A soft sound escaped me before I could stop it, and he chuckled quietly, the vibration adding to the heat building between us. He knew exactly how he was making me feel.

After a moment, Rafe shifted, climbing back on top of me. His voice was low and intimate as he asked, “Do you have a condom?”

I reached for the shorts lying beside us, pulling the small packet from the pocket and handing it to him, the anticipation palpable in the space between us.

Rafe ripped it open and put it on his aroused member. He looked down at me while hovering above, his eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made my breath hitch. Slowly, he inserted it and he let out a soft moan. He continued to move within me, each thrust deliberate and filled with a deep intensity, his rhythm unwavering as he stayed connected to me. Our breaths mingled, heavy and ragged, the heat of the moment overwhelming every sense. Each movement sent waves of pleasure through me, and I clung to him, feeling the connection deepen with every passing second.

As the intensity reached its peak, I felt him tense, his movements becoming erratic, and with a shared cry of release, we both gave in, succumbing to the overwhelming sensation that swept over us like a tidal wave. He came out of me and fixed himself up. He collapsed gently onto me, his weight comforting as we both caught our breath, the moment lingering in the warm air around us.

After a while, Rafe propped himself up on his elbows, brushing the damp hair from my face. “You okay?” he asked softly, his voice tender. I nodded, a small smile tugging at my lips as I basked in the afterglow. He gave me a passionate kiss. 

He pulled away briefly to retrieve our clothes, helping me back into mine with gentle hands. He pulls on his pants and looks at me.

“Let's go eat,” he said, his tone light but caring. 

After sharing the meal together, Rafe packed everything up and offered his hand. “Come on, let's go to my place. You can stay the night.”

He drove us back to his house, his hand resting on my thigh the entire ride, the gesture reassuring and grounding. When we arrived, he led me inside, offering me one of his oversized shirts to sleep in. As we settled onto his bed, he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. His warmth and care lingered as sleep eventually claimed us both.

༄ ༄ ༄

When morning came, sunlight filtered through the windows, casting soft shadows across Rafe’s room. I woke in his arms, my head resting against his chest. His steady breathing matched the rhythm of my own, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I felt at peace.

It was then that I knew—I’d made the right choice.

With Rafe, it wasn’t just passion or fleeting chemistry. It was the way he made me feel seen, the way he pulled me back to myself when I felt lost at sea. Despite everything we’d been through—all the chaos, the mistakes, and the hurt—he was the one who understood me in a way no one else could.

As I quietly slipped out of bed and into the soft light of the morning, I felt the weight of my decision settle in my chest—not as a burden, but as a certainty. This was where I belonged.

Looking out the window at the calm sea in the distance, I thought of the journey that had brought me here. It hadn’t been perfect, and I had made my share of mistakes, but those choices had led me to this moment, to him.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt free.

The End.

[c6nrad]

❝I like to think it’s not so much how many years you get, but what you do with them. And JJ packed it in.❞

— John Booker Routledge

[rafesangelita]

♡ CELEBRATION SCHEDULE : MAY 1ST - MAY 7TH

thursday : asking frat!rafe for permission to cum (drabble inspired by p!link), dilf!rafe x bitchy!kook!reader au, frat!rafe loves to turn you into a mess by pushing down on your tummy while he’s fingering you (drabble inspired by p!link), dilf!rafe x housebunny!reader moodboard

friday : sheriff!rafe and farmer’s!daughter!reader get into an argument after an old friend spots them together.. (sent in with the prompt: “i know we’re fighting, but come here..” + angst), frat!rafe’s first time being restrained.. (frat!rafe + bondage kink), who needs a boyfriend when you have a best friend like rafe who lets you use him to get yourself off? (drabble inspired by p!link)

saturday : draft catch up day <3

sunday : what’s bitchy!kook!reader wearing today? (outfit post), pope + belly bulge (drabble inspired by p!link), sucking off bsf!rafe while no one’s home.. (drabble inspired by p!link), grinding in rafe’s lap at the club (sent in with the prompt: “you’re killing me.” + rafe x latina!kook!reader + smut)

monday : draft catch up day <3

tuesday : when frat!rafe is embarrassed to ask bitchy!kook!reader to choke him, but she does it for him anyways.. (frat!rafe + choking kink), pope + pogue!sweetheart!reader moodboard, jj eating sheep!reader through her panties (drabble inspired by p!link)

wednesday : bluecollar!johnb has a massive size kink.. (bluecollar!johnb + size kink), stepbro!rafe fingers you when he see’s that your bedroom door is open.. (drabble inspired by p!link), telling rafe you didn’t use his credit card (sent in with the prompt: “why would you do that?” + dilf!rafe x housebunny!reader)

[cameronsbabydoll]

part two to this post

rafe cameron x puppy!reader x john b

wc: 486 — a/n: u guys wanted a part two so here it is!

rafe doesn’t even notice you’re gone at first.

too busy running his mouth, still riled up from earlier. his friends laugh along easy — because that’s what people do when rafe cameron’s being an asshole.

topper’s the one who finally looks around.

"wait… where’d your little puppy go?"

it’s sharp enough to cut through rafe’s mood.

his jaw tightens. looks around like maybe you just went to the bathroom — except time ticks by and you’re not coming back.

"you think she left?" kelce snorts, half-laughing.

rafe’s stomach turns ugly.

because that’s embarrassing.

because that’s pathetic.

because that’s soft.

and then — like the universe hates him — barry strolls back in from outside with a smirk.

"hey, uh…" he jerks his chin toward the lot. "ain’t that john b’s van out there? saw him helpin' your little girlfriend just now."

the whole table loses it.

topper is wheezing.

kelce is pounding the table with his hands like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

"damn, she really ditched you.”

"that’s cold."

"guess she wanted a nice boy tonight."

but rafe?

rafe doesn’t laugh.

rafe’s already standing.

already storming out the door, shoving past bodies, fists clenched so hard they shake.

and sure enough — there you are.

curled up in john b’s van, all doe-eyed and soft, letting him clean up your scraped little knees like you’re his problem to fix.

rafe sees red.

"what the fuck is this?"

his voice slices through the night like a whip.

john b straightens slow, wiping his hands on a rag like he’s bored.

"relax, man. she just got hurt."

but rafe’s not even looking at him.

his eyes are all on you.

red-rimmed eyes. sniffling. curled in on yourself like some pathetic little thing.

and worst of all?

you look safer here.

"seriously, princess?" rafe sneers. "ran straight to him? what you figured he’d kiss your little boo-boos better?"

your lip wobbles.

you see john b stepping closer to rafe.

"easy, rafe." his voice is low. warning. "you're the reason she’s out here in the first place."

rafe laughs — but it’s mean. ugly.

"please." his eyes cut back to you. "don’t flatter yourself. she runs away from real shit like a scared little puppy. bet you eat that shit up, huh?"

but even as he says it — even as the words leave his mouth

he feels something sour curl in his gut.

because the image is burned there now.

you.

curled up beside john b.

letting him touch you soft.

letting him take care of you in all the ways rafe never could — or never let himself.

and for the first time all night, rafe realizes something terrifying.

it wasn’t that you ran away.

it’s the fact that you didn’t run to him.

[clarii]

Off Limits

Summary: JJ Maybank has always had a crush on John B’s sister, and the feeling is mutual. But when JJ finally musters the courage to ask John B for permission to date her, the answer is a firm no. Determined not to ruin his friendship with John B, JJ pulls away completely, leaving her confused and heartbroken.

Pairings: JJ Maybank x Reader, John B & JJ friendship, Pogues & reader friendship, John B & Reader Siblings relationship

Warnings: Angst, drinking, hurt/comfort, protective sibling, pining, unresolved feelings

Author’s note: There might be another part, I’m not sure yet.

The sun hung low in the sky, painting the Outer Banks in shades of orange and pink as the sound of waves echoed through the marsh. You sat cross-legged on the porch of the Chateau, fingers tracing patterns into the worn wood, watching JJ Maybank argue with Pope about some ridiculous bet he’d lost earlier that day.

“Admit it, Maybank, you lost,” Pope taunted, waving a dollar bill in JJ’s face.

JJ snatched it back, flashing his signature grin. “It was a technicality, man. You know I had that cannonball beat if the current wasn’t so strong.”

You laughed softly, barely hearing the conversation because all you could focus on was the way JJ kept stealing glances at you from across the deck. It wasn’t subtle — it never was with him. His blue eyes lingered, his smirk lingering just a little longer each time you caught him staring.

“Hey, you good?” he called out, tilting his head toward you.

You nodded, trying not to blush under his gaze. “Yeah, just enjoying the chaos.”

JJ winked. “We keep it interesting, huh?”

That was how it always was with JJ. Constant teasing, pet names like princess and sweetheart tossed around like they meant nothing. But they meant everything to you.

And he knew it.

It had started small — the hand-holding during bonfires, his arm always finding its way around your waist when he walked you home after late nights at the beach. He’d tuck loose strands of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering on your jaw. It was like he couldn’t help himself.

The feelings were undeniable. And honestly, you thought he’d confess any day now.

But then came that conversation.

“Dude, I gotta talk to you.”

JJ stood in the Chateau’s kitchen, nervously rolling a bottle cap between his fingers. John B, completely oblivious, was shoving chips into his mouth like the human garbage disposal he was.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

JJ hesitated. This was harder than he thought it’d be. He rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding his best friend’s eyes.

“It’s about your sister.”

John B froze mid-bite, narrowing his eyes. “What about her?”

JJ’s throat felt dry. “Look, man, I care about her. Like, really care. And I… I wanted to ask if it’s cool, you know? If I took her out sometime. For real.”

John B set the chip bag down with a thud. His face shifted from confusion to something colder.

“No.”

JJ blinked. “Wait, what?”

John B shook his head. “I’m serious, JJ. She’s not some hookup, man. She doesn’t need you messing with her head.”

JJ clenched his fists. “I’m not messing with her, JB. I—”

“I’ve seen the way you are with girls. I know you, JJ. And I’m not letting you screw up our friendship over this. She’s off limits. End of discussion.”

The finality in his tone made JJ’s stomach twist.

“Dude—”

“I said no.”

And just like that, everything changed.

JJ kept his distance. No more flirting, no more lingering touches. No more playful pet names. He acted like you were… just there. A regular person.

It hurt.

And you didn’t understand why.

Days passed. Then weeks. You noticed the way he avoided your gaze, the way his jokes were no longer meant for you but for everyone else. He stopped walking you home. Stopped holding your hand during bonfires.

He was acting like you didn’t exist.

And it was killing you.

A week later.

The party was loud, the music too much, the smell of beer thick in the air. You weren’t even sure why you were there anymore. Probably because you knew he would be.

JJ was sitting on the back deck, red solo cup in hand, head tilted back against the railing. His face was flushed, hair messier than usual, and his smile? Faded.

You hesitated, but then John B appeared, blocking your view.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

You blinked. “You mean besides your best friend acting like I don’t exist?”

John B’s face paled slightly, but he recovered quickly.

“He’s… just being JJ.”

You scoffed. “No, he’s not. He’s avoiding me.”

John B sighed, glancing toward JJ, who was now standing up, swaying slightly as he finished his drink.

“He’s drunk,” John B muttered. “Let me handle this.”

You shook your head. “No. I will.”

You found JJ leaning against the fence outside, eyes closed, lips pressed in a thin line.

“JJ.”

His head snapped up, and for a second, that softness was there again — the way his eyes searched yours like he was trying to memorize your face.

But then his face hardened.

“Hey. Thought you’d be inside with… you know, your actual friends.”

Your heart sank. “Why are you acting like this?”

He exhaled shakily, running a hand through his hair. “I’m just tired, Y/N. Go back inside.”

You stepped closer, ignoring the ache in your chest. “No. Not until you tell me why you’re avoiding me.”

JJ’s jaw tightened. “Ask your brother.”

Before you could respond, John B appeared, tugging JJ away from you. “Dude, you’re wasted. Let’s go.”

But JJ wasn’t done.

He shoved John B’s hand off his shoulder, voice cracking.

“You think this doesn’t hurt? You think it’s easy to just… shut her out?!”

John B stared, stunned.

JJ’s voice rose. “You told me to stay away from her! So I did! But it’s killing me, man! I—” His eyes flicked to you, glassy and vulnerable. “I’m in love with her. And you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to even try.”

Silence.

You felt like the world had stopped spinning.

John B swallowed hard. “JJ… I didn’t mean—”

JJ’s voice broke. “Yeah, you did.”

And with that, he pushed past both of you, disappearing into the night.

[karmasloverrr]

godspeed - rafe cameron

pairings- rafe cameron x maybank reader, established relationship

SZN 4 SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!! you’ve been warned

this takes place in ep 10 right after everyone’s fighting and all that

———————————————————————————

The adrenaline was still running through your vains, like the hot, dusty sand you all found yourself in over the past couple of hours. Your hands are shaking, can’t fully grasp the weight of what you’ve just done.

“Baby?” You snap out of your shocked haze when a pair of comforting, familiar hands come to rest on the side of your waist , “a-are you ok?” His blue, stress ridden eyes bore into yours.

You take a shaky breath in, letting the gun you held drop to the ground below your feet. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you jump up into him. “He almost killed you, Rafe. I thought I was gonna lose you, I-I didn’t have any other choice, he was so close to-“, your rambling was paused by him shushing you quietly and rubbing a hand soothingly up and down your back, his other gripping the back of your head like his life depended on it.

“I know, I know, breathe Y/N, breathe” You were sobbing now. Not out of remorse for one of Dalia’s men, whom you had just shot dead out of defense for Rafe, but because you almost lost the love of your life.

Rafe pulls away, still keeping a hand on your back, keeping you close. “You just saved my life, Y/N. I’m so proud of you for being strong, it’s gonna be ok.” He was now using a thumb to wipe the tears falling from your eyes.

You nod frantically in understanding, sniffiling and leaning into his palms touch. Bringing a hand to his on your cheek, you intertwine fingers. “Are you o-ok? I mean you almost just got stabbed, Rafe. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if-“. He places both hands on your face now, demanding your attention.

“Hey, listen to me. You did exactly what I would’ve done if you were just in my situation, ok? Hell, I would’ve beat that fuckers face in before I let him get the chance to even go near you so don’t overthink this for a second, do you understand? I love you so much.”

You licked your lips and nodded. After Rafe had told you to stay with Kiara when he went to bide JJ some time with the crown, he got into trouble with one of Dalia’s men and hadn’t come back. You couldn’t stay still knowing he was by himself.

Despite protest from Kiara and how your brother needed you right now, you ran to look for Rafe. You could hear the sound of distress and punches being thrown before you could see them. Even through poor visibility you knew it was Rafe, your Rafe, being attacked. As you got closer you could see that he was being held at knife point and without thinking you pulled the gun out that rested at your hip and fired at the man’s back.

With JJ’s constant tutorials and a little bit of practice over the years you hit your target dead on. Except this time it wasn’t a beer bottle or a teddy bear, it was a human being and nothing could’ve prepared you for that.

Rafe continued to try and work you down from the shock and complete panic, rubbing your back and whispering sweet nothings into your hairline. He eventually brought a smile onto your face when he praised your accuracy and said how bad ass it was, “that’s my girl”.

“It was kind of badass wasn’t it?” He let out a laugh at your rebuttal. Even in your state of mind, the sound of it made your stomach tingle with butterflies.

“If I’m gonna be honest, after I realized what just happened and saw you standing there, I got a little turned o-“, you scoffed at his antics and pushed him away from you playfully. “Shut up.”

He pulled you back into him before you got any farther, wrapping both arms around your waist, in turn you grabbed his biceps, looking into the eyes that you love so much.

You let your smile fade a little when you saw his eyes glaze over, knowing he was about to get emotional.

“I’m serious, Y/N. You saved me and I couldn’t possibly thank you enough, please don’t feel guilty or anything like that. I would do anything for you too, y’know that.”

“I know, and seeing you like that, in that danger, made me sick and I-I just blacked out.” He nodded slowly in understanding, “but I’d do it again if it meant that you were ok.” you continued.

You were now the one stroking his arms in comfort, his head nodding up and down telling you he was processing it all. Now putting yourself on your tip toes to reach his face, you placed your lips on his in a loving kiss.

Pulling away, you placed your forehead on his. “It’s you and me, Cameron. Always.” He pulled away and placed a loving peck on the crown of your head, “Damn right, sweetheart.”

Taking his hand in yours, you began to walk back towards the direction that Kiara and JJ were. “Let’s go see if J found this fucking thing.”

Rafe scoffed but followed your lead, “I’ve had enough of this fairytale pogue sh-“, you gave him a ‘really?’ look, to which he held his hand up in defense and shrugged.

“They’ve made it this far, you’ve gotta hand it to them and besides, this is a little exciting don’t you think?”

He frowned and shook his head, “Almost just got stabbed to death but yeah, sure, having a grand old time.” You giggled at his sarcasm, used to it by now.

Walking up the hill, you exaggeratedly began to swing your intertwined hands back and forth to which he protested against immediately stating “this isn’t a rom-com, please stop” but deep down, he loved seeing you make light out of a shitty situation.

He knows it’s due to you being so used to doing it because of Luke growing up, which never fails to make his heart beat in rage, but everything in his world is ok, perfect, when he gets to see you smiling like this.

When you both reach the top, there’s an absence of your little brother and Kiara that causes your smile and stomach to drop. The sandstorm passed yet they’re still nowhere in sight.

“JJ?” you call out, in hopes that they’re possibly somewhere in ear range. Nothing.

“J! Kie! Guys?” You let go of Rafe’s hand, heading to go circle around the statue.

“Woah, don’t go by yourself. If they’re someplace close by they sure as hell didn’t stick around here, let’s head back towards the buildings. They probably met back up with John B and Sarah.”

You shook your head, “No, if they got the crown and were ok, they would’ve just came and found us. Rafe, somethings not right.” You started to head more towards the statue in hopes that they went a different direction but Rafe steps infront of you before you can get any further.

“Hey, stop. I know you’re worried but incase you forgot, it’s not just them that Daria’s men are looking for, ok? I’m not letting you get hurt in the process of trying to find them.”

You took the arm that he held out to his side as a barrier and shoved it. “Rafe, that’s my brother, please we need to at least look around the area and see-“ He began to side step along with you so you couldn’t move around him.

“I understand that, Y/N/N, but let’s use the brain I know you have and think rationally, alright? They probably went back with the group assuming we were there too, ok? Let’s start there.”

You shook your head in annoyance, you’ve always been stubborn and you’re certainly not budging about this. “All I’m saying, Rafe, is that we check around the area first, m-maybe they didn’t hear me when I yelled.”

“Baby, please listen to m-“

“John B! Pope! Y/N!”

You whipped your head to the direction of Kiara’s wail echoing through the air. A sound of desperation like you’ve never heard and don’t wanna hear again. “Oh my god.” you whispered in fear.

Rafe looked at you with agony in his eyes, recognizing the same fret in her voice that you did. Without any hesitation you took off down the hill, not listening to Rafe’s protest to “wait for him”.

Your mind was moving as fast as your legs, you didn’t know where you were going but it’s like your body knew exactly where to take you.

Weaving down and through the same maze like corridors that you had escaped from earlier led you closer to the sounds of your friends, “Kie?”, you yelled out in despair, now acknowledging Rafe’s footsteps a few seconds behind you.

You felt the room before you saw it, your stomach already declaring that somethings wrong, very wrong. Before you could brace yourself, you saw the image infront of you. Blood. John B shaking him. Kiara with her head on his chest and hands on his stomach. JJ.

“JJ?” you didn’t even recognize your own voice as it barely came out of your mouth, cracking and whispery, desperate and defeated.

Stumbling to a halt against Rafe’s chest, you felt your legs giving out from underneath you, a pair of arms coming to catch you before you collapsed. No, not him, please God, don’t do this to me, no. Rafe’s arms were the only thing keeping you stable while you began to crumble, him collapsing down to the floor with you as weeps exited your mouth, shaking your whole body.

You didn’t have to look at him very long to know he’s gone, you could feel it. Sobs and pleads from the group didn’t register against your own. It sounded so foreign coming out of your body. “He’s dead” you sobbed, physically feeling your heart breaking. “JJ, no”, you wailed. Your head feels a thousand pounds as you slowly lift it off the ground.

Rafe has his own placed against the top of your spine, his forehead making a known presence on your back, still gripping your arms as if you’ll go too if he doesn’t. To the best of your ability you try to stand, legs still feeling mush as you feel Rafe’s touch disappear the closer you get to your little brother.

Halfway through, you give up on the poor excuse for walking and collapse back to the ground again, now crawling towards his lifeless body. “JJ, wake up, please!”. The only sounds you can hear is the ringing in your ears, your sobbing screams and your heart breaking.

Your palm meets his face, already feeling so cold and lifeless, the exact opposite of JJ Maybank. “Please don’t do this to me. W-wake up, JJ!”. You continue stroking his cheek, patting it lightly a few times, hoping, begging, pleading for your brother to wake up.

Stroking his hair, you shake your head out of disbelief. Hushed whispers exit your lips, trying to reach the deepest parts of him.“I can’t do this without you JJ, don’t leave me.” It’s been you and him against the world, the shit hand you’ve been given wasn’t too bad when you had each other to fall back on.

Growing up you found solice in each other, you didn’t need anyone to help you or comfort you, you had your little brother and he had his older sister. When Luke was to drunk to help JJ get ready for school in the morning, it was you brushing his hair, picking out his outfit, making his lunch. With your mother long gone, you took pride in being that figure in his life and it was your greatest achievement, seeing the man he had turned into, no matter how rebellious and defiant, you loved him like your own, and now that he’s gone, what’s left for you?

“Who was it? Kiara, who did this to him?” you now turned your attention from JJ to Kie, her looking just as horrified as the rest of the group. A look of disgusted rage took over your face, your stomach bubbling with hatred.

She sniffled before speaking, “Chandler, h-he stabbed him, I- JJ saved me and gave him the crown, I don’t know- I can’t.” She began to sob, recalling the traumatic moment.

Motherfucker. If the betrayal wasn’t enough, knowing JJ was just trying to save his loved one and this is how he’s repaid?

You can’t see or think straight, one moment you’re mourning the loss of your best friend and the next you’re taking all the strength you have left and standing up with the gun on your hip, reloading the clip and heading towards the direction Kie said he went.

You don’t get very far before Sarah and John B rush to your side. “Y/N. Stay. We need you right now. Don’t do this.” You shake them off of you, sending your elbow into John B’s stomach in the process. “Get the fuck off of me.”

You whip around and point the gun at the group, they look at you in shock, not processing what’s going on. Your breathing is uneasy as you lick the forming sweat off your lips. “If any of you touch me one more time, I swear t-to God. I’m going to kill Groff and none of you are getting in my way.”

Looking around you see the faces of your best friends, sad, confused, and angry. The gun pointed at them has your stomach dropping. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.” The gun you have aimed at them is making you sick all over again.

Rafe takes a few hesitant steps forward when he sees you begin to rub your chest anxiously, knowing it’s your way of trying to work your way down from a panic attack.

“Sweetheart, put the gun down, ok?” None of his words are registering with you. He’s gone, he’s gone, JJ’s dead.

Rafe catches you just before you start to collapse again, this time into the comfort of his chest and arms. He takes the gun that’s hanging loosely from your hand and reaches it behind his back for John B to take.

“Rafe, he’s dead. He’s g-gone.” sobbing the dreadful words into his chest, his shirt catching your tears. You’re both on the ground now, him cradling you like a toddler as he rocks you back and forth in comfort.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry, baby.” He strokes your hair and rubs your back, soaking in all of your pain. Your sobs begin to muffle as the others join in with you, still begging JJ to wake up, to open his eyes and to come back.

The weight of the air feels similar to your chest, no matter how much comfort and apologies Rafe whispers into your hair, it’s still not enough, your baby brothers gone and he’s never coming back.

The warmth of the fire fans your face. Emotionally and physically drained is where you and the Pogues have found yourself. Rafe keeps a steady eye on you as your head leans against his shoulder, knowing the last time you spoke was a few hours ago when he buried JJ, none of you being able to bring yourselves to do it.

Stray tears slip down your face, your expression remaining uninterested and dry. The only sound that can be heard is an occasional sniffing from the group and the cracks of the wood in the dying out fire infront of you.

You feel Rafe’s heartbeat against your back and his chest move when he talks. “I don’t know. If it was my friend I’d probably go after the guy that just killed him, yeah?” You take a steady breath in, getting ready to defend him when Pope tells him to “shut up”.

“You guys think that JJ would just sit here if it was one of us?” The whole group turns its attention to you, knowing you’ve been far too quiet for far too long, like JJ, you can be a ticking time bomb in moments like these.

John B is the first to speak up, “We all know what JJ would do. He’d get even.” You nod, still looking at the fire, kicking some sand as you stand up to begin pacing in rage.

Rafe watches your moves carefully, ready to defend you and back you up for whatever you’re about to say. He trusts you and he’s knows your best interest, you could tell him the sky was purple and he’d agree, while placing a loving kiss on your cheek.

You shake your head in agreement, feeling the never subsided rage bubble back up into your throat.

“Revenge.”

———————————————————————————