#idk what to do i cannot stop writing

[of-tatooine]

DULCE PERICULUM. | CHAPTER V - BLACK

to rear me was the task of power divine.

(John Wick x Reader, Santino d'Antonio x Reader)

full work

The twinkling lights, like comets in the vast dark sky, ever so lit behind the haze of clouds, almost winking at you.

It did not matter just how many times you had witnessed the beauty of the ever-reaching skies, lingering lights and stars coloring the navy black with meek brush strokes.

It did not matter that you did not know just how many more dawns you could witness in your life.

The unrestricted view from up above, mile high - would always be a sight to savor.

As the plane prepared for a landing soon, approaching the state from a downwards approach due to high winds - a quick look at your phone showed you the time.

5 in the morning. In mere moments, the sun would show it’s bright lights over the horizon of New York City, regardless of the grime and muck that ran amok the paved streets.

It was the crack of dawn. Where had the time gone? How was it morning already?

The emanating smell of brewing espresso acted in confirmation, a quiet commotion of preparation in the kitchen of the private charter.

Yet another morning coffee without him, you would think, as the thin porcelain set with coffee and breakfast pastries was gently placed in front of you on the polished walnut, the experienced attendants whom you had gotten to know over the years offering you a warm smile and a buongiorno, signora.

Your mind wandered to him - just what he was doing at that very moment across the pond, which suit he had chosen to tackle the day on. Which cologne out of his collection would he choose? Was it a woody scent to enhance his commanding presence in the room, or a casual aquatic he for business as usual?

Maybe he got a hint of your exquisite scent on his pillows in the aftermath of your intimate night. One of many, certainly not the last.

The thought made you quiver, your eyes landing on the deliberately assembled pieces of a constellation you carried on wrist, the escaping rays of light from the overhead light making the encrusted diamonds shine in fragments of rainbows across the cabin.

“Promesso, angelo mio,” he had whispered, softly kissing your knuckles as he had slipped the ornate jewelry on, reeling in the bright smile on your lips. “I promise you.”

“I vow to give you all the happiness in the world.”

You knew he would.

A gentle shake of the plane ended your trance, fingertips subconsciously tracing the edges of the marquise diamonds.

The coffee had not been enough to pull you out of your slightly groggy, dream-like state. A sigh escaped your lips, the remnants of not being able to sleep even on the comfortable plane evident in your eyes, in your slight aloofness - unnoticeable for any outside observer as the makeup applied a mere hour ago stayed fresh and hair slicked back, put together as always.

It was the façade you put forth in the world that people would remember you by.

When the mind refused to let the body relax, it had been common practice in your circle to put on an act until it worked, and until it all made sense.

From the very first moments, it seemed, it would be one of those trips where thoughts twirled in your head, running rampant with the past and future mingling, most of the times not getting along.

A thin satin-striped black pant suit had been the outfit of choice for the first day of this journey, with a crisp white blouse tucked under. One of your handmade wool coats hung in the closet nearby - chosen by none other than Gianna herself as you often would ask for her help in packing. Choosing your own outfits and making your own bags for any trip was not a common occasion as your trustworthy staff never ceased to elegantly fold clothes ready for you, and all you usually had to do was show up in the d’Antonio family hangar. Yet, for important trips just like these, another woman’s touch always came in appreciated.

“Do not catch a cold,” she would warn you as a sister would, her hands trailing across the vast rack of neatly pressed suits, the navy, black and tan, a harmonious blend of colors all around the dressing room. Her heels clicked on the marble flooring as she picked out the calf leather boots from the separate shoe rack, pairing them with your trusted woven leather tote bag to hold the essentials.

“Ci provo,” you had reassured her, hanging the black double-breasted wool coat next to the suit on the standing rack in the middle of the room to indicate the chosen ones.

“Do you miss him at all?”

The question had taken you by surprise, raising the hairs on the back of your neck as well as your one eyebrow as you turned to look at her in a seemingly confused look - even though you had known exactly who she was talking about. It was no use trying to fool Gianna d’Antonio, as she gave you a knowing smile - a kind one, willing to listen and understand, moving to take a seat on the armchair next to your vanity. In the meantime, her fingers were working on folding a cashmere scarf for good measure, yet when her eyes found yours again - she waited patiently, intently.

It had always been those green eyes within the d’Antonio clan, the piercing hues in them always proved to get them exactly what answer they wanted.

That time, it was like she already knew it before anything would come out of your mouth.

Did you really miss him? It honestly had been a question you found yourself asking often. The tug of war between your mind and your maimed heart that Santino had spent years fixing, engulfed your soul as you reminisced of just what happened, trying to formulate an answer - mostly for yourself.

It was slowly dawning in your being that some questions would never have a proper answer, even when you had spent years mulling over them.

“I do not,” you would reply, your voice not failing you. It had some truth into it, after all.

“Not after what he has done to me.”

So, why, in the uncharted, tucked away corner of your heard that was meticulously sealed off, just why did it still hurt?

Why were you putting your own life at risk, just so he could have one with the one he loved, the one he chose?

Gianna, to your surprise, had given a nonchalant shrug, followed by a capisco. She could say a lot of things about her brother, majority of them being insults - yet, there had been one thing even she could not deny.

“He adores you,” she had offered, her beautiful hair in bouncy waves as she had stood up to open your jewelry cabinet. “He has adored you from the moment you came into Camorra.”

“Even when all you wanted was him.”

One of the top drawers opening to reveal compartments of sparkling pieces, her fingers did not waver as they had known exactly what to grab. Santino must have asked her help - how else would she have known?

But oh, she had. She had always known a lot more than she would let on.

“Metti questo,” Gianna decided with a smile as you approached, extending your wrist to put the decadent bracelet on.

“Let it bring you good luck from us.”

Lost in the haze of your thoughts, the landing was soft as ever due to your short dozing off - your body only jolted awake with the attendant laid a fleeting touch on your shoulder as a kind wake up call, the aircraft under you taxiing to the private hangar.

The first pink rays of the waking sun, right on cue, emanated within the cabin as it casted a beautiful gleam across the white leather seats - all empty but two - the very minimal security, and yours truly.

Out the corner of the window, the silhouette of the city that had become another home blinked at you - unbeknownst of the hurdles that awaited you.

As you were helped with your belongings, you fastened the belt of your coat to brace the cold, expressing rounds of gratitude to the people that always took care of you - and you began your descent down onto the concrete of the hangar, the wind hitting you like a whip. Your trusted heels would not budge as they led you to the black armored vehicle waiting for your arrival, ready to take you to your first destination.

As the car drifted down the vast highway with habitual ease, John's old words echoed in your head - when Viggo Tarasov was involved, any destination could very well be your last.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.

When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?

I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.

I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.

An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.

So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.

Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡

[jerys]

saw someone say 'wish he'd tried a little harder' under harry's post.................what if i started shooting people in the head

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

if you title this you could post the first few chapters already!!! (for the wip ask game lol)

WIP Ask Game! tw: abuse implied

But Christian isn’t looking at her face. His gaze is currently fixed on Satine’s wrist where—Satine notices as if in slow motion and with a lurch of her stomach—the sleeve of her coat has ridden up and a nasty purple bruise is on full display. Unable to adjust her sleeve with her hands full of coffee cups, Satine rotates her arm but it’s too late; the damage has been done. “Are you alright?” Christian asks, reaching for her arm. His touch is as warm as Satine remembers but she flinches back from it as if it’s scalding hot. “I’m fine.” “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Christian asks, searching her eyes. “Not at all,” Satine hastens to reassure him, realizing too late that she probably should have taken that excuse when it was offered to her, that flinching away from something that didn't hurt is suspicious while flinching away from something that did is reasonable. “Nothing to worry about,” Satine tries next, “just one of the hazards of live theatre. The show has a lot of lifts and I bruise easily. You’ll see tonight—the dancing is incredible,” Satine says, trying to get him back on topic of opening night.

[causenessus]

i’m so happy you liked the hinata fic 😭😭 and the fact that YOU reread MY fics?? LITERALLY GOING CRAZY RN

i’m taking this as the compliment of all compliments omg and my own category?? crying real quick just so you know <33

PLEASEEE OH MY GOSH I'M CRYING WITH U!!! YOU WERE ONTO SOMETHING WHEN YOU SAID WE WERE MORE LIKE TWINS THAN ATSUMU AND OSAMU!! THAT'S OUR DUO NOW <3 I'M MAKING THAT A TAG OR SOMETHING AT SOME POINT BUT YES I LOVED THAT HINATA FIC!! wyr I said this before but your works are just so comforting omg yk I just kind of fully pieced this together but do you remember when I decided you were a fae and everything in that game about what mythical creature you see your mutual as?? your works all feel so comforting and earthy in the same way. i'm such a color person and this is obvious but I just get the green, brown, earthy tones kind of colors in my mind whenever I think about your works OMG IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW your works just feel like such a solace 😭 like going out to a forest in the early morning when it's still foggy and the smell of rain is still in the air from a heavy storm last night ❤️ and just sitting there against a tree and reading and being calm and at peace ❤️ that's what your works feel like. AND THEY'RE LITERALY HEALING AAA I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCH YOU'RE AMAZING this is also a really random comparison but your works and you remind me of this youtuber named aameliaa who makes these really cozy and cool playlists I've stolen so much of my music from her and her playlists are always such a comfort for me and I listen to them when I can't focus on anything else so just know this is a huge compliment 😭😭 I just wanted to mention her in case you somehow happen to have also listened to her I'm sorry this is so long 😭

[icewindandboringhorror]

Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!

[waterfallofspace]

I have finished The M/entalist, a tv show that ended 10 years ago, a show that I'm sure no one else cares about, but that I am about to make my whole personality for at least 2 weeks as I have hyperfixated on it so hard I can barely breathe

so uhhhhhhhh anyways if anyone knows this show take this as an open invitation, or if not then consider this a formal warning that i may be reblogging things and screaming "P/ATRICK J/ANE" in the tags <3

[hecatesbroom]

There's just something about writing pre-canon stuff for the golden girls that really digs itself into my mind every time

[monksexualizer]

urgh im screwing everything in university up lately and it has me feeling like such a fucking idiot

[goldentigerfestival]

boy does Fluri make me feel things. a lot of things. i love. them.

[juniperhillpatient]

did I just finish outlining Scream Au’s main plot points in writing only to learn that it’s gonna be roughly TEN chapters? maybe. good news for people who don’t like my more controversial plans. bad news for my brain which can’t comprehend a project that short even if the chapters I’ve rough drafted so far are 9-10k so it’ll definitely still be large novel length lmao

[leftoversludge]

DEVASTATING: teen discovers their problems are shared by millions, yet the horrors persist

[angstitty]

Fact 1 : woke up at 7:30am with with 5 hours of sleep

Fact 2 : I need around 10hours of sleep to be at full strength

Fact 3 : I’m at a show and want to stay awake

Decision 1 : take a vodka-red bull at 9pm

Fact 4 : last time I had caffeine in my body was a week ago trough half a cup of tea

Decision 2 : dance and jump around for the entirety of the show, despite poor cardio and aching muscles

Consequence : my body is crumpling in my bed but my mind has never been more awake, I feel like a drunk guy on cocaine.

It is 4:21 am and all I want is to go make a full meal and then maybe get in a coma.

[pa-pa-plasma]

thinking about Iron Widow again & how it, to me, is the poster child of this weird new refusal by authors to edit their shit. "why is my writing so bad T-T" because you didn't edit it. this problem is entirely self-inflicted & preventable. next question

[evilchildeyeeter]

every time i have a pe lesson i lose a tiny bit of my will to live

heads up i kinda started venting in the tags so if you dont want to put up with that just scroll <333

[starflared-arrow]

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