#i just cannot stop fucking up idk whats wrong with me i used to be able to handle everything even if barely

[monksexualizer]

urgh im screwing everything in university up lately and it has me feeling like such a fucking idiot

[fettuccin-e]

Man in the Mirror

Kinktober Day 19: Voyeurism

Tags: Marc Spector x Reader x Steven Grant, afab!fem!reader, consensual voyeurism, unprotected piv (pls wrap it in real life omg), dirty talk, slight degradation, Steven watches Marc fuck you through a mirror idk what to tell you (w/c: 1K)

A/N: Back with the boys because I love them and I cannot help myself okay!!! And this is consensual, even though Steven doesn't exactly know it at the beginning, he just thinks he's being a perv. But in my fics, everyone is a perv alright! (this month I have been using these prompts from flightlessangelwings!)

Steven knows it’s wrong, God, it’s fucking wrong, but it’s like he can’t stop himself.

There’s something about the way Marc fucks you, the way you scrabble at the bedsheets when the shoves you into a lewd arch, his hand pressing into your back. The way you moan for it, heaving breaths into your lungs. It’s the way Marc talks to you through it, talking to you like you’re the filthy one, like you’re the one who’s desperate for it, even though Steven knows it’s both of you.

“God damn, baby,” Marc snarls, fucking into you hard enough that tears are starting to leak down your cheeks. “You’re fucking sucking me in, sweetheart. Feels good, huh? Getting fucked like you need?”

“Yes, fuck, yes,” you gasp through the moans he forces out of your mouth with every thrust. “It’s so fucking good, Marc, you’re so fucking deep.”

Steven should stop, right now. Go hide in the headspace, go to sleep and let you both have some privacy. Fuck, he's as naked as Marc is right now, he should feel exposed, have some god damn decency. But it’s like he’s stuck in place, staring in through the mirror as Marc rips you apart in ways he’s never dreamed to. It’s fucking addicting to watch the way your eyes roll back, the way your ass smacks back against Marc every time he shoves himself in, in, in. He reaches down to his bare cock and squeezes, unable to help it.

You’d only put this mirror up a week ago, and he hadn't even thought about the positioning of it. It’s placed on the wall right across from the foot of your bed, and fuck, he can see everything. He hadn’t noticed, hadn’t thought about this view when he had helped you set it straight, Marc coming into view in the reflection and smirking at Steven like he knew something he didn’t. Steven had brushed it off.

He shouldn’t have fucking brushed it off.

Because he’s sure, almost fucking positive, that Marc had somehow known. He’d known that Steven would watch, just like this, how Marc takes care of their girl. How he destroys you in ways that Steven can’t even think up on his own. It’s a special kind of torture, seeing you like this and not feeling it, not feeling you.

Marc’s thrusts are brutal, violent like the man himself. He treats you with so much care normally, Steven has seen it, but this isn’t gentle in the least. And you love it, crying out and drooling onto your sheets as Marc rips you to pieces, pulling you back onto his cock with thick fingers digging hard into your hips. He’s not sure how long he’s been watching intently, unable to tear his gaze away, when he sees Marc’s head snap up.

Looking right fucking at him.

Steven should go, disappear from the consciousness entirely, but it’s like he’s glued to the spot, his gaze locked with Marc’s. Marc’s thrusts don’t stutter, don’t stop, and you’re blissfully unaware as Marc watches Steven watch you.

Until Marc grins like the bastard he is, and leans down to mutter, just loud enough for Steven to hear, “Guess who’s here, gorgeous?”

“Wh-what?” you gasp through Marc’s unrelenting thrusts.

“He’s watching, baby,” Marc smiles, glancing up at Steven. “Just like you wanted.”

You wanted- you wanted? Steven’s breath catches in his throat, he’s pretty sure his heart stops fucking beating. 

“Steven,” you moan like it’s been punched out of you. “Steven’s here.”

“He’s watchin’ in that mirror you put up, sweetheart,” Marc says, “Watching me fuck you.” Steven is flushed beet-red, he knows it, but still, he watches. “Look at him, baby,” Marc growls, “Fucking look at him.”

Marc reaches up and curls a fist into your hair, tugging your head up to look straight into the mirror, straight at Steven. And God, you’re beautiful, tears falling down your face, your lips plump from the way you’ve been biting at them. You can’t see him, Steven knows that, but you look anyway, like you really can.

“She wanted this,” Marc snarls, and you clench your eyes shut, like you want to hide from Steven’s gaze. “She put that mirror up, hoping you’d watch like this. Wanted me to watch you both too, Steven.” You whine, and Marc’s thrusts seem to get even harder. “Our baby’s a little slut, just wants someone to watch her get fucked, isn’t that right, honey?”

“Your-” you gasp, staring into the mirror, like you’re talking to Steven, too. “Your slut, fuck, just yours.”

Marc fucking growls, his hips driving his cock into you. Steven can hear the way your pussy squishes around him, so wet you’re dripping down onto the sheets beneath you. Your body is covered in sweat, glinting in the light, practically glowing.

“Gonna let him fuck you after this, baby?” Marc grits, “Fucking whore for this cock, can’t get enough.” You slur a stream of yesyesyesyes as Marc reaches beneath you to start rubbing furiously at your clit, and you tremble beneath him.

“C’mon, gorgeous, cum for me.” Marc glances up at Steven. “Cum for both of us.”

Your eyes go wide, your mouth gaping open around a silent scream as you gush down Marc’s cock, body shaking as Marc fucks you through it, letting out a strangled groan of his own. Steven is hard as a fucking rock, straining against his stomach, begging for your touch. He watches as Marc thrusts deep and stills, his eyelids fluttering as he pumps you full of his cum.

You slump into the sheets, and Marc slides out of you, leaning down to kiss down your spine, muttering little praises of “such a good girl,” and “took it so well, looked so pretty,” into your skin. You roll onto your back, tugging Marc down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Marc smiles against your mouth, and Steven feels that familiar pull to the front.

He shuts his eyes, and when he blinks them open again, you’re smiling up at him, reaching up to brush a reverent hand across his jaw.

“Enjoyed the show?” you whisper, and Steven can’t help the way he grins, the way his heart flutters.

“More than you know, darling,” he mutters, and leans to lick into your mouth. “Got to give Marc a show now, yeah?”

[teyamsgrl]

you've been caught, babygirl ✧ jake sully

❗️MDNI ❗️

this one is longer than my others but idk what to say HE JUST MAKES ME FERAL MAAAAAAN 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ - part two!!!

°˖➴ warnings: fem omatikaya reader (best friends with agedup!kiri), implied infidelity, very sub!reader, dilf!jake, dom!jake, obvi age gap, masturbation, sorta cocky!jake, daddy kink duh, nipple play, oral m receiving, rough sex, DIRTY TALK - sevin: pretty

kiri sully was your best friend. you spent almost every minute of the day together. you first became friends as children but ultimately bonded over your shared interests and tsahik practice. now both in your mid twenties, you two are inseparable. since you’ve become an adult, there has been something looming everytime you are in the sully’s tent and in the presence of toruk makto himself. despite knowing how wrong it is, you cannot stop your eyes from drifting to and staying on jake, millions of thoughts running through your mind about him as a partner but more significantly, how he is in bed. it engulfs your mind constantly, the thought of him dragging you away to pound you or his hands pushing your mouth further down his massive cock. he was undeniably sexy and hard to remove from your mind.

one night when you're unable to sleep, you decide to take a walk through the forest, hoping to clear your head of the dirty thoughts encroaching. you get deep enough in the forest and hit a small pond, deciding to rest on the nearby rock. you hoist yourself on top of the rock, sighing as you look up to night sky. your hands fall to your thighs, fingers tracing your glowing freckles. you sigh as your finger inches closer to your loincloth which is guarding your dripping and pulsating pussy. you run your finger over the wet spot, instantly rolling your hips upon contact. "fuck it.." you mumble, slipping off your loincloth and laying it down beside you on the rock. you spread your legs, fingers trailing to your clit. you gasp, slowly rubbing circles on it. you shut your eyes at the feeling, moving your fingers faster along what is your now throbbing clit. you bring your fingers lower, entering two immediately into your hole. "oh- jake.." you subconsciously moaned his name into the air, something you did often when masturbating. all you could think of was him. him. him. him.

speaking of him, jake was also unable to fall into a slumber tonight. he quietly escaped his family's tent, initially planning to take a ride on his ikran, but decided a walk would maybe be better. little did he know a walk would be a wonderful decision. he figured he would walk to the nearby pond, stick his feet in the water and try to relax. as he got in closer proximity with the pond, he could hear some faint moans... and then his name. he sauntered over as quietly as possible, peering through the trees to spot you. legs spread, two fingers deep and moaning his name. he smirks to himself, concocting a plan in just seconds.

just as you throw your head back and your moans become more intense, you are startled by a single sentence: "you've been caught, babygirl". your eyes shoot open at the familiar voice, knowing exactly who would be standing in front of you. you scramble to collect your breaths and loincloth, a purple blush flooding your cheeks as this was quite possibly your worst nightmare. "i-, i-" you begin to stutter, avoiding eye contact out of pure shock. "no need to be shy, sevin" you feel his fingers grab your chin, tilting it up and forcing you to look into his eyes, a darker shade of amber compared to normal. "do you normally moan my name when you do this? when you have your fingers deep in your pussy?" he taunts, grabbing said fingers and bringing them to his mouth to taste you. he hums at the taste, pulling them out and smirking at your expression, desperate yet so silent. "gonna use your words and talk to me?" he tilts his head in curiosity, awaiting your response. "jake, this is wrong-" his cocky chuckle cuts you off, "is it? i mean, you were the one fingering yourself while thinking of me... so that is a pretty hypocritical thing to say" he leans closer, breath grazing your lips.

"i know you want to babygirl, do it" he whispers before you collide your lips against his, a heated and passionate kiss forming. his hands reach to remove your top, tits becoming exposed to the evening air. you gasp as the cool breeze hardens your nipples, and gasp louder when his large hands grope them and flick at your nipples. he pulls away from the kiss, causing a whimper to fall from your now swollen lips. "what is it, princess? you like when daddy plays with your nipples?" he pinches them, watching your eyes shut out of pleasure. "ah ah- don't look away from daddy now, keep your eyes on me" you re-open your eyes, hands trailing up to his biceps. "do you see what you do to me, baby?" his eyes glance down to his erection under his loincloth before observing how you lick your lips.

"come suck daddy's cock" he steps back for you to jump off the rock, switching so he is leaning against it now. you kneel, grabbing the waistband of his loincloth and pulling it down to reveal his large cock. your eyes widen slightly, your imagination not even coming close to the real thing. it was so hard, calling your name. you couldn't fathom the fact that you were actually in this scenario outside of your mind. you lick the tip, already leaking precum. you purr at the salty taste, gazing up at jake's face. his stare is direct and lustful, mouth agape slightly. his one hand presses into the rock while the other becomes situated at the back of your head. "that's it, show daddy what you think of while you fuck yourself" you whine and nod, mouth enveloping his tip. you begin to suck, slowly moving further down his shaft. you bob your head up and down consistently on him, his moans gaining volume. his eyes meet yours again, his head then getting thrown back. "those eyes- i see the way you look at me all the time, dying to get fucked" he chuckles softly, using his hand on your head to push you all the way down and hold you there. you choke lightly, moaning around him. he groans and bites his lip, watching your eyes water. "such a slut for me, huh?" he pulls you off, watching you gasp for air. "again.." you whimper, spit dripping from your chin. "yeah? you want more?" he pushes you down again, eyes boring into yours once again. "you're such a good slut for daddy" he moans and pulls you off again then pulls you to stand up.

he pulls your front flush against his, his frame towering over yours. you grip his shoulders, his hands roaming to your ass and placing a hard spank on your ass cheek. you whine, hips jerking against his hard cock. "gonna mark this ass with my handprint" he growls, spanking you again, again and again. you whine continuously, basking in the pleasurable tingle coming off of your ass. "should i fuck you now, sevin? hm?" he keeps a solid grip on your already sore ass cheeks, head tilted down to address you. "y-yes, please..." he tsks, "that's not how you ask for cock babygirl". you whimper under his gaze before speaking, "please daddy, i've never wanted something more, please fuck me and use me, please daddy i'm your good slut.. take me.." the sentence leaves your mouth as a whine, chest heaving from adrenaline and anticipation. "that's better, darling. on your back, lie on the ground and lift those legs for me" he gestures to the grass, watching you attentively. your brain is already foggy, taking a moment to process his instructions. "don't make me punish you, on the ground now" he says sternly, and you rush to settle yourself on the grass, holding your legs up by the back of your thighs.

jake hovers above you, stroking his stiff cock in his large hand. "daddy~" you mewl, barely being able to wait at this point. "patience.." he drops to his knees, hands spreading your legs open. "how many times have you imagined this?" he whispers, kissing along your neck. "so many times...", he hums and sucks on your sweet spot, leaving a deep purple mark. "well it's gonna be better than you ever fucking thought it would be" he whispers, throwing your legs on his shoulders and lining his cock up with your hole. his cockiness made him even hotter. he pushes in all the way, stuffing you full with his cock. you moan loudly, already arching at the sensation. "fuck yes..." he breathes, pulling out and starting to thrust. it was hard and fast from the get-go, no mercy being given. "oh my- daddy" you moan, hands digging into the grass. he groans and thrusts deeper, "you're such a dirty girl, letting your best friend's dad use your pussy". you nod as your brain fog increases, mind completely boggled at the events. he chuckles watching your eyes roll back, face fucked out. "you like this cock, huh? you love daddy's cock, don't you?" he moans as your pussy clenches around him, "yes, i fucking-" you breathe heavily, "i love my daddy's cock". your pussy clenches again, urging him to fuck you even further into oblivion as he groans. "yeah, i'm your daddy, girl.. you're mine". a fluttering begins inside you, eyes rolling again. "o-oh fuck, can i- can i cum?" you ask in a low whimper, totally submissive to the man above you. "yes yes, soak my cock" he moans as he watches your back fully arch off the forest floor, cum flowing out of you along with a string of profanities. "good girl- fuck.. you want daddy to fill you with his cum? hm? want his cum leaking out of your hole all day tomorrow?" he questions, grasp on your legs tightening as he feels his orgasm approaching. "i need it! yes!" you squeal, pussy clenching at the mere thought. "i'm cumming- oh y/n.." your name spilled from his mouth as his cum filled your pussy straight to the brim. he groans loudly, catching his breath before placing your legs back to the ground gently and leaning over you. "you okay, darling?" he strokes your cheek before you giggle softly, "more than okay, shit" you giggle more, kissing him deeply. "i always knew you weren't that innocent" he whispers, helping you sit up.

the next day you entered the sully's tent to collect kiri for your daily tsahik trainings, smiling at her brothers. "y/n- HEY what is that?" she lowers her voice to a whisper, pointing at the prominent mark at the side of your neck. your eyes flicker over to jake who is smirking to himself as he cleans his gun. "o-oh, you know me, bumped into a branch again while walking at night" you fake chuckle, replaying the feeling of jake's lips in your head. she laughs "you have to be more careful! anyways, let's go" she begins to leads you both out of the tent. you look over your shoulder and watch jake's eyes travel from your ass to meet your own. he winks, causing a heat to course through your body. he might just be the death of you.

[planetpedri]

pedri loves y/n but she refuses to believe that she deserves that love or can’t believe it

Let light be light — Pedri Gonzalez.

Pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Gn!Reader

Summary: After your last relationship left you certain you could never be loved, Pedri is determined to prove you wrong.

Word count: 673

Disclaimer/s: talks of stupid ex boyfriend, hurt to comfort sorta + hopefull ending

A/N: idk what to say this took me a while to come up with but hey! hi! this is the most beautiful piece of literature i’ve ever written.

Pedri’s head was in his hands, elbows resting on his knees to hold said head up. You were so confusing. So, so, so unbelievably confusing. He’d just professed his undying love for you, and all you had to say was, “no, you don’t.”

Taking a deep breath, Pedri’s head lifts, eyes searching your downcast face. “What do you mean, ‘no, you don’t?’” His eyebrows scrunched together, the line beneath them growing deeper with your silence.

You rub your thighs with a sigh, trying to collect yourself. “Pedri, seriously, you don’t—“ a small, breathy laugh, “you don’t mean that.”

He scoffs, rubbing your face in an act of distress. “I don’t mean it, or you don’t want me to mean it?” Your lips pinch tightly. Well, shit.

“You’re sweet, you’re amazing.. you’re one of my best friends, but you cannot mean that!” Your hands lift in disbelief. “I mean, I know you care about me, that’s—you don’t love me.”

Pedri licks his lips, “why not? I mean, how could I not?” He didn’t understand how you could think like that. He’d done everything to show you how much he loved you, yet you were denying it.

Then it clicked.

“Is this about your ex?” Suddenly Pedri wasn’t just upset, he was annoyed, nearly angry. Your piece of shit ex had completely taken away your self worth. It’d taken months for Pedri to get you to move on from him.

But that was nearly ten months ago. He thought you’d gotten out of that mans grasp by now.

You’d grown silent, staring at your clammy hands. “I-“ another beat, “I do… love you. Pedri. And I want to believe that you love me too, but it’s not that easy.”

The mans heart skips a beat, feeling a little relief at the fact that it was at the very least, reciprocated. “Why isn’t it? I do everything for you, I try to do the things I know you love, I try to make you feel worthy of the love you deserve. So why isn’t it easy? Fuck,” he curses your name, “I love you.”

The desperation in his tone made your head shatter. Every ounce of what he felt was prevalent in that singular curse, in the way he said your name, in the way he said those three words.

Everything stopped. Your world stopped. Your heart stopped. Your breathing was stuck in your throat. Eyes flickering to Pedri, you take in the hurt written across his face. Yet even in all that pain, there was an overwhelming amount of love scribbled everywhere in bold.

You understood the depth of his emotions in that moment, your forehead creased, tongue darting out to lick your lips, and your eyes… God your eyes. Pedri couldn’t pull his gaze away. Glossed over and pleading.

You chuckle, “you certainly have a way with words,” A singular tear escaping your right eye. Pedri’s hand hesitantly comes up to your face, gently cupping it as he swipes the tear away with his thumb.

“I just need you to know how much I care.” He speaks softly, as if he was scared you would pull away from his touch. You didn’t. In fact, you leaned into it. A small smile appearing on your puffed lips.

“I think I have an idea.” You hum, moving your head to place a kiss to his palm. The small act of affection sending a swarm of warmth to Pedri’s stomach.

He didn’t think it was possible to feel as deeply as he did, but that small act, that small touch, your words… He was certain he would never feel this deeply for anyone else in his life time. For the rest of Pedri’s life, he would spend it loving you. He would use every second, every millisecond, proving just how worthy of love you really are. And the thing was, you believe it.

All you needed to do, was let the light in. Let light be light, and leave the gloom of the night behind you.

Likes , comments , and reblog’s , are all appreciated. Let me know if you want tagged in any or all of my posts <3

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby @gadriezmannsgirl !

[ooctlt]

I think the etiquette of ask blogs is a forgotten art. what I'm saying is (imo) it's not that people don't want to play, it is they don't know HOW, and more importantly they don't understand that the game exists to begin with. obviously you do not have to teach people the rules because your time and energy is finite but idk. it feels like from some of your OOC responses that you assume people know the rules and are playing badly, but I genuinely think people (me) just don't know what you are wanting them (us) to do. and also they (i) don't know how to tell if they (i) are playing the game correctly.

An example I am genuinely confused about is, is inciting a "shut up" answer a signal that the game is being played correctly, because we are inciting a reaction from the character? or is a "shut up" answer a signal that we are playing wrong and need to do something different? I'm sorry. I really love your art and seeing the story unfold but I'm confused and I want to play and I don't understand how.

yeah ive had a couple people tell me this has been the first active askblog in a while and the concept of askblog etiquette has been forgotten- @thatneoncrisis and i made a diagram:

link to full-res image

a "shut up" reaction will hopefully show whether or not it's a closed path of exploration: if you have gideon sweating, going "pshhh its nothinggg" it means there is something worth exploring. if you have harrow slamming the door in your face, that is an advance that wont work on her

transcript under the readmore:

DEAD END QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU THINK HARROW'S HOT?

"Please stop talking to me."

This question is BAD because it's BLUNT, INCREDIBLY PERSONAL and founded on INCOMPLETE KNOWLEDGE of their relationship.

NOTE that its not that shitty questions will NEVER be answered, its that 1) they have a LOWER chance of being answered and 2) they have a HIGHER chance of being made fun of in character

gideon: haha who thinks harrow is HOT

DECENT INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU LIKE TO DO ANYTHING FUN WITH HARROW?

"Sure. We run a lot of errands together."

This kind of question may not advance the plot, as it is INCREDIBLY BROAD yet NONINVASIVE. They're good for quick 1-3 panel answers. May generally be met with a less EXCITING answer.

It might also be DIFFICULT TO ANSWER because a broad question could include MULTIPLE ANSWERS - asking "do you guys go out" could not be answered SUSTAINABLY, because i cannot draw all the places they visit

ANON: EVERYONE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOUD / WATER / MOLECULAR STRUCTURE / BONE / CAR / COFFEE BRAND/ BOOK CHARACTER?

me: "i have to do so much research"

NEAT QUESTION CAMILLA HAS HARROW EVER ASKED YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER SHE WAS EXCITED ABOUT?

"Yes, actually. She once invited me to [REDACTED], I didn't know she liked that sort of thing."

This question is SICK AS FUCK because not only do you learn something SUBSTANTIAL about the characters, you have stumbled upon A NEW PLOT BRANCH, one that actively deepens character connections and their past within the world. It specifically remarks upon a MEMORY* rather than AN OPINION and will typically be LONGER.

Another good option is to PROMPT something following this:

ANON: CAMILLA, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TAKING HARROW OUT TO DO [REDACTED] THAT SHE LIKES BEFORE XYZ?

and this can then spiral onward…

*DM, ONE TIME I ASKED ABOUT A MEMORY AND I GOT A RUDE ANSWER; WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

It's not that this topic can never be spoken about, it's about WHEN you asked it and HOW you said it, or even WHO you asked.

Some topics, like the nature of HARROW AND GIDEON'S UPBRINGING are too recent for them to talk about, it has only been TWO YEARS since they left and there are SPECIFICS about the situation that the AUDIENCE hasn't discovered yet. There are things like GIDEON'S PARENTS that she CANNOT answer because she DOESN'T KNOW and answering multiple asks with I DON'T KNOW becomes repetitive and dull for both the DM and PLAYER.

BUT! She can learn! Over time, when the time is appropriate and feels the most natural for STORY PROGESSION. Think of it like a BAD ENDING in a visual novel. You START OVER and ask a DIFFERENT QUESTION, or approach it from a DIFFERENT ANGLE. If Gideon reacts poorly to someone congratulating her leaving BAD CIRCUMSTANCES, consider talking to her about the FUTURE. Instead of trying to pry at Camilla to see if she had an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP with Pyrrha, try to ask about other things in that period of her life, like how they met or what caused her to move out.

FINALLY, if you'd like an ask to be answered out of character, your best bet would be to goto @notedchampagne and send it there. If you'd like an ask to be answered SINCERELY or you don't want SNARK, you can specify this in the ask, but know this blog may not be your thing.

[fromfiction]

hii!

idk if you knew this, but "soulbond" and "plural identity" are vv harmful terms

:( theyre pro endo (endogenic, aka a "system" without trauma) and endos scientifically cant exist. /info

basically, systems like ourself stem from childhood trauma. before the ages of 9-12, your brain is physically unable to create a solid identity. normally, by that age, what we call "facets" or "fragments" of identity will either:

- fuse together, creative your identity (which is ever-changing but now has a "root"); or

- disappear for any reason

but when someone goes through extreme trauma before that age, those facets are unable to develop properly and instead become identities. this results in DID/OSDD/USD, which are the only ways plurality can exist.

soulbonding is (and correct me if im wrong) the practice of creating a spiritual connection with someone or something, or bringing their soul/spirit into your body. this is similar to introjecting (having an alter form based on a real person, fictional character, etc.) but alters cannot be made intentionally as they form at the brain's subconscious and not the conscious. therefore, it isn't possible and soulbonding is purely misinformation.

likewise, "plural identity" is equally harmful if not even more so because it implies that one can just "identify" as a system or as having fragmented identity, which in turn mutes the people like me whove been through horrible things and had to suffer for it our whole life. if plurality was an identity, then 100% of real systems would identify as singlet because it really isnt fun.

please remove those from your blog... /nm /lh

I am begging you to at least think about what you're doing and saying when you come to a person and ask them to negate and deny their entire personhood and entire lived existence to make you comfortable and to conform to your worldview.

This is what you are doing when you come to a spiritual plural or a spiritual fictionkin and say "stop using those words, because I don't believe in those things".

When you say "DID/OSDD/USD, are the only ways plurality can exist" to someone who has lived the past 30 years of their life as a spiritual plural system you are saying "you don't exist, and I want you to deny your own existence for my comfort."

You are literally coming to me and telling me my soul doesn't exist.

You don't think that's a fucked up thing to say to someone, even if you believe it?

[aiscapades]

thinking out loud abt recent discussions in the touchstarved/obscura fandoms :) literally just my own personal opinion !!!!!

i can't stop thinking abt cirrus bc he's honestly what i want so badly for the touchstarved LIs. it's what i wanted for count lucio.

i was reading y'all's opinions abt the touchstarved marketing and your concerns abt how the game is gonna turn out, and while i was understanding, i also was so confused abt .. where this sudden concern was coming from. and then i played obscura and i was like oh! i didn't know a game could be like this! i didn't know a demo could be like this! i had entirely different reactions to the obscura demo than i did the touchstarved demo

—and yeah that's comparing two totally different games, different studios, different projects. the touchstarved demo served to introduce the characters and the world and it did that wonderfully. it's satisfactory. it's not that they did anything wrong?? but i cannot deny they gave me two insanely different reactions. i was YELLING when cirrus was doing his shit. it was like what i imagine watching trashy reality tv is like. or like watching one of those poorly-made TV movies and just enjoying the ride. i was hollering and jumping out of my chair and GAWKING at the screen. like cirrus was real and he was really saying this insane shit and i was SO ON BOARD and selecting every insane option the game gave me. it was just so wild. and it was so, so fun.

so i thought abt it more and i was like yeah. i actually see where this concern is coming from. rss keeps their stuff so close to their chest that it's hard to tell what routes they're taking, how they're dealing with certain issues, how deep the character arcs go, etc. i have no idea how fucked up their version of monstrosity gets, and for a game that is ENTIRELY about monsters and monstrosity, that definitely gives me pause. we don't know anything. they drop hints and we guess and theorize, but we don't know anything. we know leander is fucked up. we know they're all fucked up. in what way? who knows. does mhin murder people as a giant crow beast every night? we don't definitively know. we kinda assume that based on lore drops, but we don't know. but then other studios are doing semi-regular q&as and dropping information into the laps of their fans on a daily basis (lost in limbo??? hello? every day i get a notif that they've told us something new, either abt ALL the characters or about the world). idk how early obscura devs have been answering questions but they're also doing something similar. but for rss you can send in questions and you're probably never gonna hear back. you can't just ask them what song the m5 LIs would sing on karaoke night and get a response 🧍🏼 they don't do that. which isn't to say it's WRONG of them—i'm not saying they're being bad game devs by any means—but it's definitely a different way to handle game development compared to these other studios we follow.

that lack of fan involvement and information sharing is where the concern comes from, i think. at least on my part!

i mentioned count lucio earlier and i want to elaborate why. firstly, he's my favorite character of all time. i've been writing a fanfic for him for 2 years, and it's nearly 200k words (i'm taking a break from it rn). like i love lucio as a character so, so deeply. is it because of the arcana game? no, actually. it's because of the POTENTIAL his character has. it's because of what the FANS have pulled from him and shaped him into.

the arcana was on the app store. it had such strict rules about what it could and couldn't be. and yeah i can rant about how dumb nix hydra is for taking the mico-transaction phone app route, but my point in all of it is that the devs failed lucio. i think they fumbled a lot, with the other characters as well, but lucio was their watch mojo top 10 biggest anime fails of all time #1 spot.

his bad ending shows him as the new DEVIL and dictator of the world??? and we got to see none of that. his whole route woobified him to pieces. he's just a lil meow meow. he's Baby. he didn't know better. he just made some Oopsies 👉🏻👈🏻 uh oh!!

like he was the main VILLAIN of the story and they turned him into a manchild. the wasted potential of this guy is insane. and i guess i saw that and thought "i can make this motherfucker so much worse" and i did that and will continue to do that. so have his other fans. people have rewritten his route altogether because it was so unsatisfactory.

there's overlap from the arcana in the rss dev team. do i think touchstarved will be the new arcana? nope!!!! but am i also worried they'll play it safe because they think the fanbase wants conventionally loveable love interests? yeah. i absolutely see the concern. it's very real and very there. does red spring studio KNOW we want truly monstrous characters? do they? we're just hoping they do.

leander doesn't have to be just like cirrus. none of them have to be anything. but i do want them to be monstrous. i want to FEEL something the same way i feel something when cirrus orders me onto my knees. like not even in a kinky sexual way. i want to be shocked. i want to hesitate and think "what is this character doing right now? what will i do right now?" i want to be confused and shocked and pleasantly surprised and also horrified. i want the adrenaline high i got while playing cirrus's first chapter. it was like my cptsd was triggered in the best possible way (lmao).

and it's not even about that.

lost in limbo is more fantasy romance than it is horror (save for the goddamn voidbound holy fuck!) but i know that i'll enjoy the game anyhow because i love all the characters. why do i love all the characters? because the devs tell us about them. they don't even have to spoil the game. i know amon smells like chocolate and has a fake southern accent (HELLO?) and that ara can't sing. lost in limbo could be the corniest fucking game and i would still love it because i'm already so attached to the characters.

the reason i turned to lost in limbo and obscura is because my excitement for touchstarved waned. because there's just a once in a blue moon post and it's likely it'll just be a "backers have new updates!" post. which isn't said to shame rss or backers !!!! that's normal and fine and valid!!!! do that!!!! i just mean rss is BARELY giving us what we want. we're stranded in the desert dying and rss is trickling water droplets one by one to each of us. lost in limbo devs are pissing fresh spring water into our mouths at firehose speed. is rss bad for this? no. they're not doing anything wrong. but a natural consequence of their marketing strategy is that fans will move on. i still love touchstarved. i'm going to play it. i'm reblogging fanart and fanfics. i'm posing the mormon leander theory. like i'm still here and still very much active but touchstarved isn't on my mind the way lost in limbo & obscura are.

ravenstar games tells me gael would fail the trial in the tale of orpheus and eurydice and i'm like holy fuck??? holy fuck!!!!!!

would ais? would mhin? i don't fucking know.

and what about elyon and sen? i know they're DLC bonus LIs and they don't need to be fleshed-out as soon as the main LIs. they can be on the back burner until touchstarved comes out. this is fair. but what about them? we know nothing other than 1. elyon is rich because of brothel money and 2. sen is an undead warden? (like a prison guard? like the ppl who watch over vere? i don't even know that for sure) (we also know their flowers but that's barely anything). meanwhile lost in limbo is sharing info about cécile and lázaro as often as their main love interests. they're not forgotten about. i can't even make a mc for sen's route because i know nothing about her!!!!!! which hurts my heart because i love sen. i love the idea of sen. it's the first time a female love interest in one of these games is 1. my type but also 2. not exactly like me (ara i love you but we are twins).

they're impersonal. they are 2D concepts we try to fill out.

maybe rss will tell us the LIs go-to karaoke song after the game releases. or maybe they won't. but there are just so many benefits to sharing that kinda thing and bonding with your fans in that way. that's my whole point. it's not "i need a steady stream of touchstarved content pumped directly into my veins 24/7 or i lose all interest" it's not that!!!!! obviously not because rss doesn't do that and i'm still here. this is my most active blog! i'm having a blast here because the fandom is sick as hell. we're vibing, doing our own thing, and it's great. but rss feels very distant. they are the senobium and we are residents of lowtown wondering when or if things will ever be different. if we're going to have a good day (lore drop or new art) or if things will just continue on as expected.

to reiterate: this post isn't about how rss is doing something wrong or bad or that ravenstar games/rotten raccoons are sososososo much better than rss. rss doesn't have to do everything other studios are doing. that's not what i'm saying. this is just the reality of what rss is doing vs other devs and how i PERSONALLY feel about it. i love them i would literally strap a bomb to my chest and demand my loved ones' credit card info to disarm it for any of these studios/games. i am a fan and i'm hopeful and i want to trust in rss so so so so badly. i want the very best for them. i want them to create a great game and be successful. i want them to be creatively fulfilled and proud of their game. on their own time, their own way. really and truly!

[spacelazarwolf]

Maybe i just need to vent.

I fucked up. Got called out. And wouldn't you know it, the callout has done nothing for me a trans man but isolate me, make anyone scared to speak up for me, and now i have fash chuds spoof calling my phone! No matter how bad it gets and what they are told about it by concerned parties in private these people won't even update their shit to say "we don't endorse harassment of this user, stop. " which tells me they just endorse harassment of me.

It's like it's just cool to harass an autistic trans man! It's like if you direct fashy chuds to the lowest common denominator, no one will acknowledge you're being as bad as those chuds.

Maybe people should stop unintentionally creating a police state online because they're used to it? IDK

imo "callout culture" is entirely antithetical to concepts like prison abolition and restorative justice, which a lot of people who perpetuate callout culture claim to support. i remember reading years ago about how "callout/cancel culture" was a concept that originated on black twitter to let other black people know about businesses and people that weren't safe for black people to go to or interact with. so it makes sense that, like intersectionality theory, it was co-opted and bastardized by white people and turned into a bludgeon against other marginalized people.

and like. this is something i've been talking to my irl friends about a lot lately. because what's the goal? what are you trying to achieve by making that callout post? what happened to prompt it? did someone prove a pattern of dangerous behavior, or did they just fuck up and now you have an excuse to put them on blast to feel morally superior? are you making this post so people are aware of someone with a pattern of dangerous behavior and can stay away, or are you making it knowing that it will prompt the people in your circle to go after that person and "punish" them? do you want that person to learn from their mistake(s) or do you want to brand them as a bigot forever? do you want the world to be a better place, or do you want to be angry at your (perceived) oppressors?

so yeah, if you're going to say acab and if you're going to say you believe in prison abolition and restorative justice, you cannot turn around and make a callout post for everyone on tumblr dot com you think has wronged you.

[starryylies]

Hi !!! Idk if you've done this already but can you do my angel boy Gaz and Ghost with a girl who love scary movies ??? I feel like they'd totally have the mentality of "I gotta comfort her when she's scared" but Gaz specifically flinches and I think Si would like "brace" if that makes sense like wincing his eyes. I dunno if you've done something like that but your emo story reminded me of me and it made me so happy I'm a metalhead and I was gonna ask for more but it was already in there and that just mad emy day ilysm already okay bye -🫀

Simon n Gaz watching a horror movie with s/o

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Again so sorry (I’m sorry for saying sorry sm) but like Omg I love this cuz I love horror smmmm!!! Insidious,suspiria,Bwp, conjuring you name it I love them omgggg.

So thank you so much for the awesome ask and I hope you enjoy it 🩷🩷🩷

Also I used the movies sinister and lights out for the references :))

SIMON-

♰ he thought watching the movie sinister will be fun cuz he thought he could protect you from the jumpscares

♰ he needs to be protected from the damn movie tho (okay this movie is fucked up tho and it’s totally normal to be scared)

♰in the beginning he thought it will be some poorly made movie with shit ass jumpscares but boy was he wrong

♰ when the scene of the family hanging themselves comes on he was taken aback and he lets out an audible wince shutting his eyes

♰ he genuinely finds the movie scary and gory, cannot help but find himself wince and shut his eyes whenever he thinks there will be a jumpscare

♰ as the movie progressed and the other tapes were revealed he just couldn’t take it anymore, his limit broke off when the mowing scene came

♰ but you seemed to be enjoying the movie, anticipating what the next scene will reveal

♰ he shut the tv before he could see further, it was too much for him

♰ “fuckin hell love this movie is a fuckin nightmare” he groans

♰ “noo It’s a well made film :( plus I enjoy a good scare ya know”

♰ god how could you be so chill with it, he can’t tell if he should admire you or keep his distance

♰dw he admires you :)

♰ keeps on ranting about how he’d never do such a stupid fucking thing

♰ says Ellison was a stupid fuckin idiot for getting his family there and curses him for the rest of the day

♰ asks you your opinion on the movie and who you think is recording the tapes

♰ ends up going on the net to see how the movie ends cuz he can’t let it go

♰when he finds out the ending he has an ‘aha’ moment.

♰ tries watching the movie again but ends up stopping in the beginning itself cuz he can’t handle it.

♰ probably doesn’t want kids after this movie

GAZ-

♰ Awh this poor guy just wanted to watch a scary movie with you to hold you when you’re scared but it kinda ends up being the opposite

♰ you both decide on watching lights out (I wanted to pick hereditary or mother but too much cuz I’m writing this at 3am)

♰ see lights out is a Pretty chill film but Diana is creepy as hell and sadly gaz became a victim to Diana’s jumpscares

♰ when she killed the dad gaz visibly flinched like on the edge of the sofa hoping the dad would survive

♰ but boom the bitch killed him :/

♰ felt really bad for the brother (Martin)

♰sympathised with him a lot by saying he’s a good kid and that he’s really strong.

♰ surprised on how you’re not getting scared or anything

♰ thinks that you have watched this film before

♰ gaz got shit scared during the scene where Rebecca and her boyfriend came and Diana creeped around them

♰ the end made him tear up just a lil :(

♰ you ended up comforting him holding him close cuz he felt bad about their mom

♰ thinks it’s adorable how you give lil facts about the movie from time to time though.

♰ cursed Diana for the rest of the day,

♰ if you take any medications, don’t worry you’ll never miss them now cuz gaz will make sure you eat yours on time

♰ keeps the bathroom and living room lights on that night

♰ will search for movies like lights out

♰ will never watch them though

♰ is proud that he got closer to you tho

♰ will definitely hold you the entirety of the movie

♰ will never have a horror movie date again tho

♰ but will watch a horror movie with you if you ask him cuz how can he say no to you :))

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating sabo edition

liked by sabosbf, kokoala, and 10k others

[name]sblondie: this is exactly why im always late to work

tagged: sabosbf and d.dragon

sabosbf: DONT TAG YOUR BOSS????? HES GONNA FUCKING KILL ME??????

-> kokoala: LMFAOAOOA

-> sabosbf: i'm fuckin scared what is going on koala

d.dragon: This is hardly an acceptable reason to be late to work, Sabo.

-> [name]sblondie: boohoo just say youre sad and single

-> divaiva: SABO you're so dead.

freeluffy: cuddling is worth it

[liked by d.dragon, kokoala, and 200 others]

-> kokoeala: just heard dragon-san gasp in his office hold on u might be saved

-> [name]sblondie: thankgodthankgodthankgod

-> freeluffy: huh?

liked by [name]sblondie, divaiva, and 18k others

sabosbf: he's urethral guys idk

tagged: [name]sblondie

[name]sblondie: i think you're urethral too baby

-> sabosbf: i love u i knew u would get my humor

-> [name]sblondie: of course i would my love <333

portgasace: no fucking way u two are real

dni_nami: something is telling me theres something wrong with the caption, but lemme not

-> sabosbf: what's wrong with it :0?

-> dni_nami: ....

divaiva: u two are the cutest (please change that caption, i'm telling you this out of the kindess of my heart)

[liked by kokoala, portgasace, and 140 others]

-> [name]sblondie: my boyfriends caption is perfectly fine

liked by [name]sblondie, sabosbf, and 19k others

portgasace: barfed in my mouth i hate them

tagged: [name]sblondie and sabosbf

[name]sblondie: be nice to ur brother in law damn

-> freeluffy: [NAME] IS OUR BROTHER IN LAW NOW !?!?!?!?

-> [name]sblondie: future* brother in law my bad

-> freeluffy: booooo :(

sabosbf: yeah i hate u too ace, the only rzn u ever go out w us is so u can leech off our wallets

-> portgasace: thats a fuckign lie asshole

-> sabosbf: BROKE ASS

[liked by [name]sblondie, freeluffy, and 100 others]

boahancock: luffy's brother and luffy's brothers boyfriend are so cute <3

-> [name]sblondie: damn she don't even know our names

-> portgasace: professional luffy dickrider (for some rzn)

kokoala: my favorite gays <3333

-> [name]sblondie: ?????

-> sabosbf: thank u koala ;)

-> [name]sblondie: ???????

liked by sabosbf, portgasace, and 20k others

[name]sblondie: guys do u think he loves spiderman more than me

tagged: sabosbf

sabosbf: if peter parker hit my line, im sorry

-> [name]sblondie: ????????

sabosbf: his theme song is my ringtone for u so i guess it connects?

-> [name]sblondie: YOU GUESS???

-> sabosbf: that just means ur my spiderman baby >///<

-> [name]sblondie: DONT TRY TWISTING THIS IN A COMPLIMENTARY WAY U JUS CONFIRMED THAT IM UR SECOND CHOICE

kokoala: spiderman >>>> any other man

-> sabosbf: u get me koala ughhh

portgasace: good taste [name], gooooddd tasteee

-> sabosbf: hehe

-> [name]sblondie: WHAT THE FUCK????????? STOP FLIRTING WITH OTHER MEN RIGHT NOW???

liked by [name]sblondie, divaiva, and 16k others

sabosbf: got jumpscared by this pic in my cameraroll pls someone buy this guy brown contacts

tagged: [name]sblondie

[name]sblondie: me looking at u when u wake up 🧿🧿

-> sabosbf: its ok babe jus please maybe think about blinking a little bit longer

kokoala: cannot hold a conversation with him without feeling like hes thinking about murdering me

-> portgasace: what i said

divaiva: nooo you'd ruin his natural beauty :<

-> [name]sblondie: thank u iva <3

-> [name]sblondie: YOU JUST VENMOED ME 40 BUCKS WITH THE MSG "listen to [name]" ???

-> sabosbf: LMFOAOA babe don't actually buy contacts i love ur eyes theyre pretty :3

d.dragon: They are quite terrifying.

[liked by kokoala, divaiva, and 90 others]

liked by sabosbf, kokoala, and 19k others

[name]sblondie: boyfriend appreciation post because even though hes got a weird sense of humor, hes still mine (...i guess)

tagged: sabosbf

sabosbf: HEHEHE he loves meeeeee

sabosbf: ok why that ugly ass photo of me as the second one what the hell is wrong w u u just hate me

sabosbf: I LOVE U SABO, LOVE UUU

-> [name]sblondie: love u too handosme (...i guess)

-> sabosbf: STOP WITH THE I GUESS i'd choose u over peter parker anyday baby pleaseee

portgasace: not [name] picking up on me and luffy's appetite too

[liked by kokoala, [name]sblondie, and 100 others]

-> freeluffy: bigger appetite is the best appetite !

sabosbf's story

RESTRAIN ME??? MY SEXY BOYFRIEDN IN MENSWEAR HOLY SHIT IM CREAMINNNNGGGG

[name]sblondie replied to your story: u shouldve told me sooner, i'll wear them more often now just for u babe ;)

[mrderofcr0ws]

idk about you guys but rooks rest in HOTD is not canon to me. the rest of this show isn’t canon from here on out because it’s obvious they hold no respect for aemond’s character or any character in fire and blood they way they were written originally. so many of the F&B characters have been written entirely wrong and it’s so blood-boiling. especially the greens!!! so many of them have such compelling stories and they’ve been thrown in the trash!

they’ve thrown helaena aside. in fire and blood, she’s a dragon dreamer! she has a dragon! she had three kids she loved so much! she is a valued queen of the realm! what is she in the show? the quiet one no one listens to or tries to connect with besides her own mom.

they’ve utterly ruined aemond. in so many ways, they’ve changed him drastically. while aemond does have hard feelings with aegon and makes some sly and questionable comments about aegon not being fit to rule— HE DOESNT TRY TO KILL HIS BROTHER???? I genuinely cannot fathom how the writers could sit in the writers room and be like, “yes. this plot line. this is gold.” they’ve ruined him. they have fucking ruined him, his loyalty, and what he is fighting for. “you think you can fly about the realm and steal MY brothers throne?” — AEMOND TARGARYEN!!!!! and you’re telling me he attempts to murder his brother? no. fuck off, no.

they’ve made aegon seem like nothing but an idiot. aegon may not be as smart as aemond but oh my god he’s not some blubbering stupid idiot who can’t sit still. they cut out his whole reason for ascending the throne as well and that is so damning to his character. aegon takes the throne because criston and alicent place the worry of his siblings being slain in his mind. they convince him rhaenyra will kill him, his siblings, and his children— so he takes the throne. “what kind of brother steals his sisters birthright?” — AEGON TARGARYEN

they have reduced alicent to criston’s fling and vise versa for criston. alicent was a strong and compelling character— and now we have to watch her give herself a miscarriage? really? the woman who was so adamant about her son ascending the throne is sitting there and telling him to do nothing after saying he should be asking questions and learning from them???? “nothing” is the answer you give your son — the king — after he asks for your advice, alicent? really? it just proves she and everyone around her raised aegon to be a puppet— and she’s so lost inside her own “sins” she can’t even see how damned her children are because she doesn’t take the time to actually care for them.

they’re going to introduce daeron soon but show watchers have no idea who he is. when he shows up, it’s not going to be meaningful. just like when aegon started acting all loving and silly on screen with his kids and it left being people like “wow, what the fuck???” IF YOU DONT SHOW THE CHARACTER OR WRITE THEM CORRECTLY, PEOPLE WONT FEEL ATTACHED TO THEM CORRECTLY!!!!

THE MISCHARACTERIZATION OF THESE CHARACTERS IS KILLING THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!

even with rhaenyra. i love that she wants to uphold peace and i think it’s so valiant, but everyone is ready for rhaenyra the cruel. give us maegor with tits the way she is in the books and stop having her care so much for alicent. it’s killing her reign. the men in her council are harping her and her not being around during the start of a wartime is maddening to watch. yes, she’s a mother. yes, she wants peace. but peace can’t be achieved through Alicent!!! I loved their relationship in the younger years, but there is nothing to salvage and I’m so fucking happy jace snapped at her. she shouldn’t care for alicent at all— because alicent in F&B was her older step-mother that didn’t get along with her. even in HOTD after rhaenyra knows alicent usurped her throne over a miscommunication, there shouldn’t be anymore “but we were once friends” moments. idc if it was a mistake on alicent part— that mistake is something she isn’t even willing to admit or fix. in rhaenyra’s eyes, alicent should no longer mean anything from here on out.

rhaenyra is also no more a pillar of peace than aegon is. they both do terrible things whether or not it takes rhaenyra longer to start doing them. they both get people killed. they BOTH tear down the realm in attempt to grapple for the throne.

it’s fucking exhausting at this point watching the writers play a game of “this side is more morally righteous” when they’re all bad. it’s even more frustrating when the cost of “this side is better than this side” comes by destroying these characters and ruining the moments that define them!!!

rooks rest was a shit show. not only did they make aemond do something ENTIRELY out of character for him, they didn’t even give rhaenys her correct death. she doesn’t fall to her death. she gets burned like a true dragonrider.

rest in piece to rhaenys— and to aemond because they just dug his whole character a grave to jump into when people watch next weeks episode.

[just-a-silly-little-whumper]

You mentioned shadow tendrils in the recent piece of writing-- have you written anything with Lord Denholm using those to fuck Altair?

I would use them to pull his cute little pussy open and force him to take those and Lord Denholm's cock at the same time.

Listen we're just going to pretend that you didn't send this like 9 months ago lmao

But anyway I uh. Hope this is what you wanted? idk there ended up being more emotions than I was expecting lmao

Contains: explicit noncon, weird tentacle(ish) sex, vampires, intimate whump, wing whump, captivity, begging

~~~

The shadows coiled around his wings, sliding between feathers in a way that made Altair’s very soul recoil with revulsion. The smoky, inky magic dripped with such malice and envy that Altair was practically choking on it. The harder he struggled, the more securely the tendrils held him, unyielding in their loving, covetous embrace.

Those same shadows held his wrists in place, held his legs spread open, kept him firmly in place on the bed as Lord Denholm knelt over him, eyes ravenously roaming over Altair’s bare form.

“I can hear your heartbeat, my little ruin,” Lord Denholm purred, cold fingers tracing across Altair’s chest. “Tell me, what has you so afraid?”

Hatred roiled through him as fierce as any tidal wave. But with the corrupted magic intertwined with his feathers, he couldn’t stop the words from pouring from his mouth. “You- you’re going to rape me. Again. And it won’t be the last time, either, for me or for Elze’ith, because I can’t figure out how to stop you.”

A wave of delight cascaded over Altair as Lord Denholm smiled. “Oh, it gladdens me to hear that.” Altair choked on a sound halfway between a gasp and a sob as the shadows caressed further into the spaces between his feathers. “It should put your mind at ease, then, to know that you cannot stop me. I am going to do as I please, and you are going to take what I have to give. You do not have to fret about how to escape your fate, because I have already claimed you. All that will change is how you understand and appreciate your role here, my ruinous little angel.”

“You-” Virulent hatred threatened to choke Altair, but he still coughed up the words. “You’re wrong. I’m never going to stop fighting. I’m never going to accept any of this. You’re never going to break me.”

“Oh, my ruinous little angel.” Lord Denholm’s dark eyes glinted with malice. “The cracks in you will are already forming. And I have plenty of time to see how you fall apart.”

Slow and deliberate, a tendril curled up his leg and pressed lightly at his folds. Though insubstantial, like thick smoke or sleet or cold oil, it was solid and probing enough that Altair immediately tensed and tried to pull away. There was nowhere to go, however, not with the magical binds that held him so firmly in place, that spread his legs even wider in response to his struggles. Just as he knew he would be, he was helpless to stop the tendril as it teased and taunted at his entrance.

“No, wait— stop—”

He didn’t want to beg, but he couldn’t manage to stop himself. He wasn’t in control. He wasn’t in control of anything that was happening, not his words or the situation or his fear or the strangled, panicked sound he let out as the tendril pushed its way inside of him.

Nothing had ever felt quite this unnatural. It seemed to slither inside of him, eager to caress every part of him it could access. The sensation made his skin crawl, made him writhe instinctively, made his breath catch in his chest. Cold and oily and slick and wrong. He wanted it out, wanted to burn it away until it could never touch him again, but it just kept feeding into him, slow and methodical and joyous.

An eternity passed just like that, with the perverse, foul tendril sliding its way into his core until it could go no further. Its counterparts in his wings continued to slowly shift and coil, inexorable and inescapable. Any coherent thought was lost beyond the sickening dread in his stomach and the desperation to somehow get this to stop.

So lost he was in the overwhelming, defiling sensation that he almost didn’t notice the second tendril that brushed his entrance. It was impossible to escape the feeling of it slipping inside, though, right alongside the first, twisting and twirling and filling him up even more. Lips parted in a silent gasp, he strained and tensed in his bonds, but every movement only made him more aware of the magic around him, inside him, claiming him.

And then, the tendrils went still. The ones in his wings retracted, not leaving entirely, but withdrawing enough to allow him to breathe. The twin shadows inside him stiffened and pulled apart, making him groan from the stretch, but they too paused in their ministrations. Blinking, Altair tried to take the moment to gather himself, to reclaim some shred of his dignity, though he knew that his violation was far from over.

After all, the tendrils were still inside him. Lord Denholm was still watching. It wasn’t over yet.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Lord Denholm leaned down to press a kiss to his collarbone, eyes gleaming with covetous desire. Altair shivered, forcing his breath to stay even. “My beautiful, ruinous little angel. So open and ready for me,” Lord Denholm purred. His hand drifted lower, to Altair’s hip, tracing the outline of his burn scar before thumbing over Altair’s clit. “Don’t worry; I’ll give you what you need.”

It hit Altair, all at once, why the tendrils were holding him open. “No— wait— don’t—!”

His begging morphed into a scream of terror and pain as Lord Denholm sank into him, between the tendrils already inside. He clenched his eyes shut, tears gathering on his eyelashes, his lungs shaking and unable to capture any air. The stretch was excruciating, inconceivable, unbearable, and yet he was vaguely aware of Lord Denholm bottoming out inside of him as though he was made to take this much. A sob rippled through him, of pain and humiliation and anger, and then another, because

Lips brushed against his eyelids; Altair tensed, but didn’t have the strength to recoil. Though Lord Denholm’s voice washed over him, he couldn’t quite parse the words over the roaring of his heartbeat in his ears. Good, some desperate, fervent part of him thought. He didn’t want to hear what the bastard had to say anyway.

He wasn’t sure if Lord Denholm or his shadows started moving first. There was just sensation, the push and pull, the steady cadence and the unnatural twisting within him. All he could do was close his eyes and try to endure and do whatever he could not to give Lord Denholm any more of what he wanted.

He didn’t think he was very successful. Nothing had ever felt like this, felt this much, felt so familiar and strange and unwanted and tainted and wrong.His entire body thrummed with revulsion with every thrust, shivered and shuddered as perverse magic shifted around and within him. He couldn’t manage to tamp down on those instinctual, involuntary reactions. He knew Lord Denholm, with his magic tangled up in his wings, would be able to feel it even if he did. Altair could certainly feel Lord Denholm’s delight, just as he knew Lord Denholm wanted him to.

Distantly, through his horror, Altair realized that the tendrils were pleasuring Lord Denholm inside of him, coiling around his cock and stroking both of them in tandem. His stomach turned; it was worse than if they were just defiling him.The notion was enough for him to try, futile as he knew it was, to summon his magic so that he might burn the foul things away. It didn’t work, and the attempt only made him more exhausted, made him want to cry even more than he already was. He didn’t know what he was expecting. Lord Denholm was jerking himself off inside of Altair, and he couldn’t stop it.

How much further would this go? How many more ways would Lord Denholm find to violate him, defile him, take him apart and lay claim to the pieces? How long could Altair withstand the assault? He already felt ready to come apart at the seams, and every waking moment seemed to bring a new horror.

What would even be left of him when this was done?

Through his cascade of emotions, through the disgust and despair, a tentative but warm pulse emanated from the back of his mind. A part of him wanted to recoil, sure that this was some trick of Lord Denholm’s, but Lord Denholm could never replicate how Elze’ith made him feel, could never fake this warmth. And even if he never wanted Elze’ith to know him when he was like this… he needed to know he wasn’t alone.

Just as softly, just as tentatively, he reached back through his mind. Brushed up against that small presence, that sliver of connection. It didn’t stop the inexorable stretch or the unbearable thrusting or the sudden intense pressure on his clit. But it was enough to keep him from drowning in it all.

Sharp pain in his neck yanked him out of his mind and slammed him back into his body. The pain was no less horrible for how familiar it was; moreso now, even, because Lord Denholm had gone still, begun to spill inside him, even if the tendrils still danced in the thin space between them. The whimper that broke free from his chest seemed to get swallowed by the shadows that still endlessly coiled around him, as eager as their master to drink in his suffering.

The brief connection with Elze’ith was gone. Even as Altair mourned the loss, he was glad for it. He shouldn’t have even reached out. Elze’ith had suffered enough. He deserved better than to bear witness to what Altair was being forced to endure.

After a short eternity, the tendrils settled, though Altair could still feel them slowly shifting. Lord Denholm pulled away from his neck, smiling down at him with blood-stained fangs and dark, insatiable eyes. Altair tried to muster a glare; in response, Lord Denholm only hummed, and leaned down to kiss him. The taste of his own blood made Altair wince, feeling sick as Lord Denholm smiled against him before pulling away.

“You feel better every time we do this, my little ruin,” Lord Denholm said, licking the last of the blood from his lips. “Just as I knew you would.”

Altair scowled, the only response he could muster. The shadows within him coiled tighter, as did the ones still furled in his wings, making his back arch.

“Please—!” The word slipped from him unbidden, a raspy, desperate cry for relief he knew would not come. As soon as he said it he tensed, eyes clenching shut; he knew what he was asking for, and he knew what Lord Denholm would give him.

“Oh?” Something cold and slick circled his clit as the tendrils within moved more insistently. “Tell me what you want, my little ruin. I think you’ve earned a reward.”

“Please—“ he gasped, feeling the unwanted tension mount. “I can’t— Enough—!”

The shadows inside him pulsed. Orgasm ripped through him, violent and calamitous, and for a moment he didn’t know whether he hated himself or Lord Denholm more.

But it was over. He sagged against the bed, limp and panting, as Lord Denholm finally withdrew. First his cock, making Altair groan as the overwhelming fullness left him. The tendrils within took a last moment to twist and twine before sliding out as well, and though Altair had to bite back a whine, he was finally, blissfully empty.

It was over. He hated how grateful he was that it was over.

Later, when Lord Denholm had returned him to his cell and he was curled against the wall trying not to feel, the soft warmth in his mind reached out once again. Altair couldn’t find the strength in himself to reach back. But neither did he push it away, even though part of him wanted to. He just let Elze’ith radiate what little solace he could, let the echoes of it wrap around him like a blanket, let his partner help hold him together when he felt like he was going to fall apart. He just hoped Elze’ith knew how much it meant.

[tobisiksi]

tw: suicide mention-emotional maipulation

I refuse to believe that kusuo never tried to lose on purpose in one of kusukes games

a lot of people say that he probably was too egocentric to lose but man, ku gives up on things without thinking twice just for the sake of the others

just like when he gave up on satou when he and hii got together (the only example I can come with rn but there is a lot more)

and don't get me wrong, kusuo IS egocentric, but he knows where to trace a line he has a moral code and the principal rule is "don't be an inconvenience to the others"

so there is no way he didn't tried before

kusuke saw through his facade?

kusuke is insane and a masoquist and he has some suicidal behaviour aaand

I can see him telling kusuo to never try to fake a lost again or else he will off himself

idk he just yk, he's emotionally abusive and he's too obsessed with the idea of kusuo and him playing deathly games

TOO obsessed

he even took himself as hostage and he also kidnapped and brainwashed one of his brothers friends

he would say something like that

but I also believe that he wasn't aware of the heigh of those words

(I believe that he isn't aware of the heigh of all his actions, he just have a really twisted view of what is wrong and right)

I see this kind of scenario happening when they were young, when kusuo stopped copying his older brother (the motorcycle, the little cardboard robot, rock papper scissors, guys he was copying his older brother cuz he thought he was cool) and started to feel some resentment or even pity towards him

kusuke wouldn't take pityness very well, resentment? dont care, being hated? kay whatever but feeling any form of empathy or pity?????

it makes him sick

so he would say something like that but the thing is that he sees his brother as a God who is superior to every other living being

so he thinks that it isn't a big deal because his God had more important things to take care of

wrooooong, your God it's your baby bro who is just a child who used to admire you a lot before you started to get more and more insane progressively and the thing you just said it's fucking up his head because the love and hate he has for you were the strongest feelings his baby brain could feel and now he cannot come up with a way to make you stop envying or feeling resentful cuz of his powers (that he did not choose to born with in the first place) without making you have a meltdown that will end up with you killing yourself

[slushiesandshowtunesat3am]

You and your little group of followers are giving us a bad name. Crowding tags is a valid concern. Your posts ARE irrelevant. Nobody will care when you are being disrespectful. How hypocritical are you talking about wrong tags while you do the same shit? You need to get it through your thick ass skull that it is disrespectful when you misuse tags. And it is a misuse of tags. I hate people like you so much, you really ruin our image. Also, reach ≠ upvotes. I already know you won't post this because when people bring up valid points to you, you attack them and cherry-pick stuff out of context to respond to, but you need to see this. You are wrong. Don't disrupt the harmony we've kept for years. On top of porn bots, we don't want to deal with people who purposely aim to disrespect the tagging system. You cannot just do whatever you want. I think this attention keeps you going so this is my first and last message to you. Again, nothing you say matters if you're DISRESPECTFUL. Please stop getting on people's nerves, you don't represent all of us. Message writers directly. Nobody will care if they see you acting the way you do.

Giggling and kicking my feet at people purposely missing the point 😋 Lack of critical thinking is so funny omg!!

Just gonna some this up with three points!

1. There is no harmony! The majority of the fics on this app are tagged incorrectly in some way! Smut is tagged with fluff and the latter! Texts are tagged as imagines and the latter! X reader tags focusing on one person in a group are tagged using ALL of them!

2. I have been getting a lot of reach, actually!

3. If the people whose nerves I get on, are the ones who think raising awareness about an important issue in these communities is less important than a tagging system, I can live with that!

Guys, if I get another ask like this, I'm just gonna block you. Like your message will not be read lmao.

I'm not gonna waste my time on people who are picking on me about an issue that was on this blog for ages BEFORE ME, for using it to raise awareness about another one.

Like do you realize how you sound? Because if not, let me sum if up for you!

"Hey, we need to make fics more inclusive for people of color!"

"SToP tAggING inCOrrecTly"

"I use these tags not only to get reach, but to make sure past and future writers hold themselves accountable, since there are many on this app, and to make sure POC are heard!"

"StOppP TagGGING wrong! YOU'RE ruining the SYSTEM! THE SYSTEM!!"

If the system taught ya'll that whatever the fuck this is, is more important than POC being heard...idk what the tell ya'll.

Scroll past or block me, butter cup idk. Ya'll need a media literacy course and treatment for narcissistic behavior.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

[windstir]

rosemarine is as much of a victim as gilbert is, a more outright one i'd say. the way auguste threatens gilbert (a kid who has been targeted by him and groomed for his entire life) is VERY different to the way he threatens rosemarine (an adult, 18 at the beginning, i'd say around 21 AT MOST by the time kazeki ends. auguste got a proper hold of him at 15, before that he was only odd towards rose)

auguste establishes the power dynamics between those two in very different ways, for instance he uses his "love" towards gilbert as a double edged sword. if he's not "loving" him gilbert perishes and is kept trapped because it makes him crave the toxicity even more. that's why serge's presence was so dangerous, because teaching gilbert safety meant he's properly going to realize "this is wrong, this needs to stop" ... which he already knew, he said it himself ("do you think i let you fuck me because i wanted to? i did it because i didn't have other options") but he doesn't know how to stop it, so he lets it happen and romanticizes the situation, he knows and he knew from day 1 that auguste was a dangerous man, but he clung onto him because he was all he had.

meanwhile, rosemarine gets a more threatening version of this treatment. auguste speaks to him as an equal (almost) when he's not mad, but when he is he yells and lashes out, and threatens to get close, which he knows rosemarine hates (unlike gilbert who is the complete opposite) and uses it against him.

Auguste isn't smart (HELL a lot of people knew about his awful treatment towards gilbert when gilbert was a CHILD, but they never did anything to stop it), he literally just goes through life doing whatever the hell he wants and hurting whoever prevents him from reaching whatever goal he has, he doesn't hide it, he doesn't pretend to be a good person, he doesn't do shit he just goes up to the principal and goes "yeah let gilbert do whatever i'll pay you man", he goes up to rose and goes "don't intervene in the gilbert issue, just make sure he doesn't die or something idk", he kisses gilbert on school grounds, he offers himself as a future husband for angeline (11 by the time she appears again, serge is 14-15)

he does WHATEVER he wants WHEREVER he wants, he doesn't gaf, he's not smart, he isolates gilbert and keeps him in an environment that equally validates his own treatment. usually in stories about child abuse someone (an adult) knows and tries to stop it, sometimes they succeed, sometimes they don't, but in kazeki EVERYONE LETS THINGS HAPPEN. and the cycle continues.

abuse culture thrives in silence (auguste's peers), bystander effect (everyone in laconblade), enablers (rosemarine, the principal) and refusing to break the cycle despite being scared (auguste abuses rose → rose enables gilbert's abuse rather than speaking up against auguste → gilbert assaults carl ... carl doesn't continue this cycle, but indirectly contributes to everything by being a bystandar ... HOWEVER he cannot be 100% blamed since he's a child. he's scared, he blames himself, he doesn't want to tell anyone because of His Own Can Of Worms -which someone else with a more religious background could probably explain better-)

gilbert is at the bottom of the chain, and he has normalized this abusive behavior SO much that he doesn't really see it as something inherently bad. to him, this is another thing people do, he has never known normalcy, so when he assaults carl to "assert dominance" over him and taunts him, he's just repeating the things people did/do to him.

it's kinda like when children exposed to violence in the home (ANY sort of violence, whether it's directed to them -csa, physical abuse, emotional abuse- or indirect -seeing a parent get abused-) play with toys violently and reenact their trauma through play (there's a proper term for this, i currently can't remember, but it's used in play therapy to try and decipher what's up with a child too young to voice their worries and woes!)

anyway uhm

this is just word vomit, sorry.