#idk this is my diary fr | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chryblossomjjk · 10 months ago

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#first therapy session went well !#i didn't cry which is v surprising lol #maybe bc we didnt go too in depth about things but #therapist already picking up on things i didn't like #never really thought of myself as an anxious person #depression was more so what stuck out to me #but like therapist was like bestie... u sound more anxious than ur perceiving #like i put that i don't struggle with social anxiety bc generally in a group of people im pretty outgoing #but like my coping skills are isolation lol #and i often turn down invitations bc of my insecurities #and in general just hate being perceived despite wanting it #like i literally havent answered any asks on here in months bc #im afraid of what people think of me #and im scared of interaction #but im also dying for human connection lol :'))#i also avoid men completely bc trauma so yeah #and it all stems from a deep deep belief that i am not worthy of love n wOw im sad but like we can only go up from here right :'))#LMAO SORRY THAT THIS IS WHAT MY BLOG HAS BECOME BUT #idk this is my diary fr #anywho sorry for everything #will most likely delete all these rants bc its embarassing lol but #love you all #and im so sorry for not answering the asks #thank you for reading my fics #your comments mean sm to me truly #love you endlessly

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mangotelevision · 4 months ago

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still obsessed with her as a meifwa

#shes my pookie fr #love drawing their meifwa curses like beastmen #it is a curse afterall so idk #katelyn the firefist #aphmau #minecraft diaries #mcd #mcd rewrite

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wileywere · 2 months ago

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crazy how rewatching this series is making me go actually insane /pos

anyways !! have some of the skrunkly

he’s irene’s favourite little tragedy <3333 and also my favourite little tragedy by pure coincidence

#art #artist #character art #fanart #minecraft diaries #mcd laurance #aphmau mcd #aphverse #idk what else to tag here bro #but uh like. this series was fr fr my childhood #he’s so silly <333

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toadsartblog · 6 months ago

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Kiki is the best side character, change my mind🫶

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beastsovrevelation · 6 months ago

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The Hell now, I'm drooling over the Good Omens version of Archangel Michael, too?..

The tag's about Lady Crowley, not myself, but still...

I mean..

She does seem like she'd take and rail you.

#diary pages #stop it i'm having a bi moment over an angel in go...#good omens #good omens michael #good omens fandom #good omens thoughts #archangel michael #fr i'm very much a hierophiliac for this specific religious figure #but lusting after those is blasphemous so not like i'm betraying my beliefs #why... is... she... not... in... uniform... or armour #why do i have a feeling good omens betrays michael in portrayal #don't worry general i'll fix it #literally everyone calls her that in my wips #except satan who calls her by name #and the antichrist who calls her “aunt michael”#general i'll have the serpent of eden dripping wet for you #serious brainrot over this pairing #crowley x michael #fem!crowley x michael #idk what nonsense go s2 did with michael (in s1 she already wasn't portrayed as the leader) but she does have the stern expression

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bunnihearted · 4 months ago

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im sorry but that made me so upset bc ppl dont ever explain what made them draw a conclusion so now im just upset bc in my head i was venting abt how much it hurts to be sexually assaulted and have ppl not believe u and only criticize u etc etc and then someone pops out of nowhere and says i have a victim complex bc im hurt that nobody cares i was sexually assaulted???? T-T

#idek if that's what they're referring to #i mean yeah obvi i have a victim complex #but what does that matter to u??????? i dont even know u???#it is so easy to just not look at someone's blog if they're bothering u #this blog is my diary and it is all i have #im not here to pretend to be normal or make friends or whatever #im here to vent bc i cant be honest anywhere else 😭#so ok ... like idk what to say to that even bc ok u think i have a victim complex and??#what do u want me to do? do u want me to just stop that for u when idek who u are ??? like ok why do u have to tell me that?#but yeah what i was gonna say was that idk what made them draw that conclusion #so in my head im like damn it was probably that post i made abt sa and daydreaming of reassurance instead of judgement #and that makes me sad bc if u see someone express a WISH to hear that #and all u think is damn this bitch has a victim complex fr fr #what kind of person are u..........#anyway... as always im just upset bc i AM sensitive and emotional. have have bpd.......#im 'dramatic' yes. also yeah since this isnt a dialogue im just sitting here like ????????????#bruv... i dont even wanna talk to ppl and then ppl remind me that empathy is dead #sorry for wanting comfort for being SAed 😔🙏

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 2 months ago

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The urge to spend a 100$ on merch before getting my paycheck is so strong. I might not survive soldiers

#Priorities! Next month no food challenge #At least I can eat my vinyls and CDs 🥰#Man fr I could starve but if Id have some albums #Id be happy #eating my own organs and shit #Okay yes I officially lost it but!#ahiajwineidn the voices #I want to spend money #🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛#Tbh i only eat cheap ass bread anyways so maybe we can do it 👻#me tryna convince myself this would be a good idea and i wouldn't die #Mnaiaisns9jwkq but it's motivation? to keep working right?#....... IM ABT TO ORDER STUFF #IDEK WHAT. BUT. THE. VOICES.#like im soo thinking abt buying the mortal vinyl or atsushis vinyll CUZ THEY LOOK SO GOOD.#I DONT HAVE A MF LP PLAYER BUT IMMA BUY ONE AS WELL #aaaaaaaaa🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#HM. HmmMM. i can get an LP player on facebook market place rightttt that wont be expensive righttttt #oh to not have to pay 30$ for. shipping would be so good #Ahhhhhhhhh. 😾#Gimme money #Actually I don't even have the money! idek how much am i gonna get paid! but im just thinking abt ordering stuff and hoping ill have enough #insanity is my middle name tbh #also i hate how i literally. dont keep track of my money and i always act on impulse 😭#like man idc how much u pay me i see i have enough imma spend it all #but i should save up to finally move my mf ass away from this great environment i live in #but dang is it hard next to school #getting paid less than minimum wage as a student lowkey. is not fun #But idk what to do cuz i cant skip school to work 😭 so this is shit #n e ways goodnight ily who reads my 3556th diary entry

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yallwildinrn · 10 months ago

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Y’all I really think I wanna do drag/be a drag king. The more I think about it the more fun it sounds I just have no idea where to even start

#dear diary #drag #drag king #< pleas for help #fr tho I think this is the vers of cosplay I’ve been looking for #it makes sense for me tbh #I love costumes and esp acting out masculine characters #but I’m not a man. 95% sure I’m not at least #but god I would love to don masculinity for a little while and just have fun with it #I wanna make one of those irl tv heads I’ve been dying to make and pair it with an slutty suit and #idk do a number to video killed the radio star maybe?#I can’t do makeup and like hiding my face so it sounds v fun

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mercurymacaroons · 4 months ago

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woagh 2 posts in one day

#sketch #listen your honor i love him #im unsure if i wanna tag yosuke in this bc theyre like 15 min sketches so i think imma leave it like this and let the lord decide #i know hes not a like the fan fave in persona but somehow the trash boy has grown on me and is now like top 4 for the whole damn franchise #like mold or smth #you just gotta like reimagine him as a very tired repressed bi 16 yr old in a closet made of glass and he immediately becomes more likeable #like bro he works retail and is 16 thats why hes like that #also like the scene from the group date in pq where he goes “all right now we can be partners for all eternity!!!!”#that lives in my head rent free #listen he lives with teddie and works retail #as someone who also worked retail i promise you most of his not kanji related outbursts are justified #the kanji stuff is bad fr fr but like hes also 16 in 2011 #let the 1st 16yr old who was not an asshole and uninformed cast the first stone #sorry i have a lot of feelings for 1 yosuke hanamura and i needed to tell all of you in this my diary #which reminds me #most of yall came from me posting about dr which ndrv3 has a very special place in my heart and on my walls #but alas p4 kicked saihara to the curb so idk if ill be making anymore??????? maybe i might in the future but idk im old and tired #and dr is and always will be full of 13 yr olds which is fine but i dont wanna interact with them bc im old #and tired of the same discourse every 6 months #maybe when the not actually but totally is dr4 that kodaka is cooking up drops ill make dr art again but unlikely for rn #once i figure out how p4 protag chan's bowl cut works ill draw boys kissing #i do need to figure out how to draw boys kissing #since it will also lead to figuring out how to draw girls kissing which is almost dare i say more important #anywho thank you for coming to my newest diary entry #i will never stop yapping in the tags #this is a promise #yall gotta know all my thoughts in as many characters and tags tumblr will let me have

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lovecoredeity · 5 months ago

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every time I get a compliment on my art I’m always surprised because it’s stuff I don’t think about or think I’m good at

#every time someone compliments my lineart I’m like oh wow i never like idk think much about it #like I do but I don’t like I try my best to make it look good I just never think that it’s worth complimenting when I do it #same for colour pallets those are so difficult for me like my biggest struggle so I’m shocked when ppl compliment that as well #and then like I had at least one person that I can recall be shocked that my primary brush for art is the dip pen (hard) and i wasn’t like #aware that was a difficult brush? idk I’m gonna be so fr #I’ve been using ibis since I started doing digital art and that was the default brush I was given and I’ve stuck to it #I’m a creature of habit I hate like going out of my little comfort zone #I have been using other brushes lately like I enjoy the charcoal mod for sketching or like looser art or making art in my ocs diary #I like the cloud brush as well for weathering things I also use to charcoal brush for that #also recently been generally obsessed with the sparkle brush lmao #I have like procreate. I just don’t use it #actually I do use it for one reason only: my custom fonts that I couldn’t figure out how to port to ibis so there on procreate instead #I just. I’ve had procreate since I got my tablet years ago but I never wanted to learn a new app so I just haven’t #I’ve had ppl get on my ass about it and I get it I do. I just don’t wanna pls don’t make me can’t I just keep using ibis and their free #brushes hm?

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vampyroteuthid · 9 months ago

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most breakable plant on earth omfg. all i did was brush it with my hand on accident 😐😐😐😐

#the leaves fall off if you so much look at it i have a bunch of them propagating rn because i hate throwing them away but it happens often #fortunately these things propagate really easily so i'm hoping i can basically just stick this back in the dirt and have it grow #i'm so scared to repot this idk how to do it without scalping him bald. as you can see hes still in the store pot #also it says burros tail but this is actually a baby burros tail. a burrito if you will #i got this plant at a low point intending to have a nice easy succulent friend to attach my will to live to #but unfortunately it has mainly just caused me stress. some kind of metaphor fr #me #plant diaries

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flufallo · 7 months ago

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what up my fellow Jackson’s diary poster here is my challenge pick your favorite Jackson’s diary character and redesign them by giving new cloths new hair anything good luck💖👹🫦💞👏🩷😎💅😍☠️🐀

WTF HAVE I JUST CREATED HELP-

#im sorry ive gone a little mad 😭#the pgantoms are getting to me fr (this isnt even a sbg post but oh well #i have no idea what ive done to him #glowdown of the century-#i could hardly improve him tho hes already perfection #also im taking the ☠️ and 🐀 indicated a very ugly thing (rip of ed) but idk #i call ed sheeran (real one) edwardian times sheep sheerer sometimes 😭#jacksons diary #ronald novikov #i apologize this hurts my eyes too trust me #im so good at ruining jd charecters #first pointy exer #now...#idek ron

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pearlpool · 7 months ago

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:/

#this was. not prompted by anything recent i’m just thinking about it #but idk Why my friends feel compelled to make jokes about me hating butches????#like it’s obviously not TRUE….. and like i shouldn’t get upset if it’s not true but #it resurfaces a time of my life (think. when i was like 18) that is really really embarassing #it just makes me feel like i haven’t changed. which i have #and i know it’s all jokes and almost always has to do with discussing characters from stuff or whatever #but still. it feels like that kind of mean spirited joking where you’re actually kind of seriously making an accusation underneath the joke #ykwim #anyways. i love butches and these jokes are dumb and the next time one is made i will say something fr #bc i don’t wanna be stuck as the image of me who is fresh out of high school. jesus christ #i think the main one i’m thinking of is like #i had mentioned that i used to not think that jaina from naddpod was hot #when like. she clearly is. and also is implied to be butch or at least my friends hc her as butch #and everyone dogpiled on me and was like SO YOU HATE BUTCHES #and like i tried to earnestly be like No why would you say that 😭 but nobody paid me any mind. idk #it’s happened at other times in a similar way and again it’s a JOKE but it still gets to me #diary

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partygetsmewetttttter · 2 years ago

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I think God/life/destiny/the universe keeps allowing for the same toxic people who drained you completely to keep coming into your life just to see if you’re still dumb enough to let them. It’s a test to see if you’re still mentally weak for them. If you’re still willing to endure the fucken pain you know they caused you just because you miss them, miss their presence, miss the connection, miss the memories. Because if you fail and allow them to yet once again regain access to you, you’re not ready. You’re not ready to start new, to start fresh, you’re just not moved on, you’re not healed no matter how much you believed you were. The best revenge is showing them what they lost and that you absolutely don’t need them. The best revenge is breaking their ego by showing them they NO longer have access to you and never, ever will again. So next time i promise myself that i will pass this stupid fucken test life throws at me.

#thoughts thoughts thoughts #im sorry y’all this fr my own personal diary lol #idk how to stfu

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vampdyke69 · 1 year ago

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dinner fr tnight :3 salmon cooked in kerrygold butter and hot yuzu sauce, basmati rice w that trader joes mushroom umami seasoning n some olive oil, and roasted zucchini w some salt n peeper

#food #my cooking #meal diary #fr my own reference when idk what to make fr dinners lol

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vegaseatsass · 1 year ago

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Theory of Love is definitely one of the hardest BLs to take seriously that I've watched so far (NOBODY SPOIL ME PLS I am up to ep6 and hoping we're gonna switch at some point from Gun POV to Off POV and turn the perspective on its wet-from-water-bottle-showering head, but I don't KNOW for SURE so don't tell meeee) but one thing I'm really vibing with is just how well it captures the sheer disastrousness of disastrous gay friendships!!!

I don't love watching a bunch of dudes be toxically masculine @ every girl that walks past them (though I understand that this performance is the sibling to the boy craziness I performed at all the girls I was in love with in grade school), but I just love the dynamic within the friends group of like WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHY ARE OUR FRIENDS SUDDENLY ALWAYS MAD AT EACH OTHER??? WHERE IS ALL THIS DRAMA COMING FROM?????

The drama is coming from Disastrous Queer Friendship. From two friends who cannot/will not communicate how they feel for each other or why "just" friendship is not working. There is no escaping it my guys all you can do is ride the ship through the storm at your bros' side

#and to be very fair to bone and two they ARE doing their level best to ride that ship through the storm so far!!#no idea what's happening one minute to the next who is in love with who who is mad at who whose side to take #but they are gonna stay in it with their bros!!! support whoever has a crush on whoever!! keep the Gang together through hell or high water #i'm watching this very quickly for me b/c i neeeed that pov switch lol i am going to be fr disappointed if we don't pov switch #BUT DON'T SPOIL ME!!!!!!!!!!#theory of love #dear diary #it's jsut interesting because if i watched this idk 10 years ago i'd be very annoyed w/ both third and khai for a lot of their behavior #third being sooooo bitter every time khai kisses a new girl khai treating third's housework and support the way a spoiled kid does his moms #but it's all just so real in a Disastrous Gay Friendship (tm)#it is so hard to unblur and untangle all the different blurred tangled lines and actually communicate past the giant feelings #when third was like 'i meant to be the third thats his friend but i once again ended up the third thats in love w him. i'm angry at myself'#SO REAL!#he knows he is being unfair but he cant HELP it he doesnt know how to navigate his way out of the role he's caged himself in #friendship isn't a cage but it's real easy to convince yourself it is when you see your queer feelings as a threat to that friendship #and it's real easy to see queer feelings as a threat to friendship if you live in a society!!!!#lol this is prob all self-evident but i am just truly enjoying the messiness #back at it again in the shower with my clothes on. bawling.

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