#and i know it’s all jokes and almost always has to do with discussing characters from stuff or whatever
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pearlpool · 9 months ago
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:/
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 4 months ago
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Im an ace simp unashamedly and i need to share this little detail of heartslabyul's birthday boy card that someone probably mentioned alr somewhere. In all the boys' groovy illustrations theres always someone else with them. Riddle has cater and trey, Trey has cater. Cater has ace and Deuce has someone in the corner (i cant tell who)
EXCEPT ACE???? BRO'S JUST STARING INTO THE CAMERA WITH THAT SILLY LITTLE BLUSH LIKE BRO YOU LOOKING AT ME???? WHAT ARE YOU TRYNNA TELL ME TWST????
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cbjsvsjsjcks Where did all the Ace simps suddenly spawn from… I feel like I’ve been meeting a lot of them lately (not necessarily through this blog, but also in other discussion circles) 😂
Yes, the Birthday Boy series tends to generally showcase at least one other character in the Groovies. For Heartslabyul: Cater and Trey appear in Riddle’s, Trey appears in Cater’s, and I believe it’s Ace in Deuce’s.
That isn’t Trey because Trey wears gloves in his dorm uniform, and nor can it be Riddle because his dorm uniform looks entirely different than the standard one. That leaves us with Cater and Ace. By process of elimination and using context clues, it’s most likely Ace. Cater already appeared in two other Birthday Boy Groovies. Additionally, Deuce has a voice line where he says Ace gifted him a jack-in-the-box—and while the Groovy doesn’t depict that item, Deuce is reacting similarly shocked upon opening it. Ace has also explained (I think in a Halloween event or vignette??) that it is possible to pull off a simple trick of flashing lights and sounds using magic. He tends to use his skills for childish things like little pranks and sleights, and has the personality to be inclined towards those things too. All the circumstantial evidence points to Ace.
Anyway, I feel like Ace is one of those characters you commonly see getting shipped with Yuu because of how he is presented in official content (and especially the main story). Him and Malleus seem to be the Big Two on that regard. That’s what my observation has always been, at least.
It’s rare that TWST will put out these “looking directly at you” illustrations, and even when they do, it’s not always aimed at Yuu if you look at the context the vignettes provide. For example, the Jade Outdoor Wear Groovy has him looking back and offering a hand… but it’s not for Yuu, it’s for Cater; Floyd’s Beans Camo Groovy had him looking soft and cute… and that gaze is aimed at Epel while Floyd talks about how he wants to take on strong opponents. Ace’s Birthday Boy Groovy exists in defiance of that pattern!
I think it’s funny that his dynamic with Yuu can so easily feed into that trope of the BFF that’s crushing hard but is too afraid to fully commit, so he always frames advances/flirting/playful teasing as “just jokes” to test the waters. It almost feels like Ace was tailor-made for this 😂 It sets up a lot the potential for something as simple as a look seeming longing. I can definitely understand how someone might see that Groovy and think it’s romantic. I don’t think most people make that kind of expression while using the thumb to brush away crumbs and staring into the camera 💀 Bro would 100% catch you and then go, “I know, I know, I look so cool that you just can’t get enough of me. Well, today’s my special day so I’m feeling extra nice. Feel free to stare at me aaaaaall you like, Prefect.” And then maybe joke that you could have him all to yourself if you asked—
You Ace yumes out there must be thankful for this food www
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tac-the-unseen · 8 months ago
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How COD characters react to you admitting you've faked an Orgasm
Angst with minor fluff
Note: There are many reasons someone might fake an orgasm. Someone could not be in the mood anymore, feel uncomfortable in the environment, get tired, and several other reasons. That is what this fic is about, not about 'weak dick game'
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Ghost:
•When you dropped that bomb on him he froze. He didn't move, speak, or even blink. He just sat there, staring at you. His mind is racing. He always felt like a Shitty partner and he feels like this proves it.
•Once he found his ability to move he only took a breath. Then after a few seconds took your hand and looked into your eyes. You try to explain your reasoning but he still felt like shit.
•Finally he mutters softly "Why didn't you tell me?" He genuinely feels heart broken that he left you unsatisfied and you didn't voice it to him sooner.
•He sits down and has a long discussion about the why and how. He wants to know how to be a better partner and to make sure you're always comfortable telling him if you need more from him.
Soap:
•He thinks you're joking at first. He makes comments like "yeah right, totally." But once he finds out you're telling him the truth he freaks out.
•He grabs you and and almost crys. He feels like a bad partner and tries to come up with ideas on how to make sure you're alway satisfied with him.
•Sex becomes very different. He's constantly changing positions and asking if he's doing this right. Everytime you two get intimate he seems nervous and tries to solely focus on you.
Price:
•Stunned by the news. He stamers and look embarrassed. He stares at you like you grew wings and flew away. You can tell he's trying to keep his cool but it's not working.
•He buys you multiple gifts ranging from flowers to vibrators. While he does this you notice sex becoming less frequent and when you do have sex he seems less in it.
•When you ask about it he finally breaks down and cries. He says he feels like he can't satisfy you anymore. "What kind of boyfriend/fiance/Husband am I if you have to fake it just so you don't make me feel bad!?" After a talk he kinda gets over it but he doesn't like talking about it.
Alejandro:
•He also thinks your joking at first, but after you tell him you're not lying he stares at you. He starts to curse in both English and Spanish and gets upset. He throws a plate at the wall before slumping on the kitchen counter.
•"Why did you wait to tell me, mi amor!?" He says while not looking at you. When you explain he's quiet. After a while he asks how to make it up to you.
•You bet your ass he's going to pamper and worship you in anyway you please. Makes you promise to tell him and never fake an orgasm again.
Roach:
•He immediately hugged you and nuzzled into your neck. He let's you explain why you faked it and understands that it wasn't his fault. He thanks you for telling him and keeps close to you for the rest of the day.
•The next time you guys had sex he made sure you came several time. He has a little bit of doubt when it comes to his performance but over all just happy you told his so you could work it out together.
Gaz:
•Freezes up and after a minute he's leaves the room to be by himself for a while. He goes over every Sexual encounter he's had with you to try and figure out the when and why.
•Once he thinks he's got it he comes back to talk to you. He wants to know how to make sure you're satisfied. He seems to move on pretty quickly. But everytime you have sex he confirms with you that you at least orgasmed once.
König:
•He stares at you in shock like a deer in headlights before running aways. He hides in his room and has a anxiety attack. He feels like a horrible partner. All that runs through his head is the idea that you're going to leave him for someone that always satisfys you. It shatters his heart to know that he, at some point, neglected your needs.
•Once he calms down a bit he finds you and begs you to let him make it up. "I'll do anything, Schatz! Please I can be better!" You try and comfort him be he won't stop until you tell him what you want and/or need. It doesn't even have to be sexual related, just something to ease his mind.
Rudy:
•Is in denial. He doesn't want to hear it but you notice he takes more time to focus on your pleasure. Or at least, more than before.
•It secretly eats at him for weeks. This has never happened to him before. Then he starts to spiral. What if this wasn't the first time, just the first time someone's told him about it...he dies inside just a little.
Mace:
•He takes a second to soak in that information then he holds you tightly. He kisses you jaw and calmly asks if he can make up for those unsatisfactory nights.
•If/when you agree he gives you the best head of your life. He stays down there for what seems like hours. He checks in on you and apologizes every once in a while.
•After words once you two are ready you guys talk about proper ways you satisfy you and make sure you feel loved.
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autumnwhistles · 25 days ago
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On c!Martyn and Caring
Martyn and loyalty are two words that, in discussions, tend to go hand-in-hand. Whether it's praising his devotion to Ren or analysing his betrayals, he can never escape that contradiction. Is he loyal, or not?
I think it goes deeper than that. While c!Martyn is full of contradictions, it isn't only loyalty that's at the core. Rather, it's the wider subject of how he interacts with players at all, how close he gets to them, and how he reacts to caring.
It's both a question of how much, and how deeply, and contradictions are found in both aspects. On one hand, Martyn is a very solitary player. CC!Martyn says as much – that he tends to play a solo game, despite having a "person of interest" each time he'll check in on (whose back he has "until [he doesn't], until [his] sword goes in it"). On the other, he's extremely sociable – though he rarely gets close to others, he spends almost all of his time talking to others, joking with them, heading from group to group. On one hand, he's completely focused on self-preservation, willing to backstab and betray at a moment's notice if it suits his game. On the other, he has a capacity for honour and loyalty, and – crucially – losses do affect him deeply. Again, CC!Martyn describes this contradiction very well.
There are always these two conflicting wishes within him – for self-protection (whether from physical or emotional harm), but also despite himself, for care. And two quotes represent the contradiction. One in-universe:
I learned there was nothing in this world for me – nothing but walls, corners, edges. And you know what, you showed me life. As much as I’ve taken it from you, you gave it back to me in buckets’ fulls. - Shortly after Ren's beheading, 3rd LIfe
And one from CC!Martyn:
[Ren's final death in 3rd Life] was the moment that kind of broke character!Martyn and made him more selfish moving forward. - Martyn's post-Limited Life lore stream
A wish, and the consequences of indulging in it. It's a balance he'll have to walk for as long as the games continue.
So, let's explore it.
Pre-Win
It's pretty clear that walls, corners and edges are the only thing Martyn has seen for a long time now. After so many games, so much bloodshed without ever an end in sight – even after winning, nothing changes – it's hard to search for anything else. But back, back before the Red King's rise, seeing the world that way wasn't enough.
3rd Life
Martyn starts, as he always does, as a wanderer. He's a bit of an outsider from the beginning – he's not a Hermit, he was never a member of X-Life or any of Scott's other series, and though he has been in one MCC team with Scott and another with Joel, the people he's truly familiar with (the EVO crew) are by far in the minority. It's only really BigB and Skizz in the same boat.
It's no surprise, then, that he takes the first chance to form an alliance he gets (with members he's all familiar with) – the Blue Sword boys. But though he does think about the alliance far longer than the others do, it's not so much of an emotional commitment. We're still at the stage where he thinks there's "nothing in this world for [him]", after all.
There's another similarity between early game Martyn and the Martyn we're more familiar with: he's focused on survival from the start. He's always worried about Ren being too kind, about Ren spilling secrets. He hides his own resources (eg the Ender chest), he spends most of his time away from Dogwarts, he's ready to leave if Ren doesn't toughen up. In many ways, pre-Red Winter Martyn isn't all too different from post-3rd Life Martyn. He's always been worried about the impacts of others on his game.
What he's not worried about yet is the emotional impact on himself of others dying.
So he indulges in that life Ren has shown him gladly. He gladly takes up the mantle of Hand, of protector, taking no effort to hide his loyalties or to emotionally distance himself, and leaving no contingencies in case things go wrong.
Then, Ren dies.
Only a few metres away from Martyn, but out of his line of sight.
C!Martyn breaks. He'll live with the knowledge of the consequences of caring forever.
And we see this in...
Last Life
Is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all? For C!Martyn, it's cleary the latter. And there's one clear change in his alliances this time round that shows this: contingency plans.
Especially at the start, Martyn doesn't tie himself closely to the Southlands. He has options to escape them – Ren especially is an option if things go wrong, and later down the line he forms a whole secret alliance (the Shadow Alliance) as well. Of course, this means he'd have the option to use the Southlands to escape the Shadow Alliance as well, though since the Southlands does considerably worse in every metric, this never really becomes necessary.
He isn't tied as closely to Ren this time, either. Though they are allied, he's completely fine with attacking him in the Battle Royale at the end. Of course they planned to fight if they were the final two in 3rd Life, but there are still two pairs of alliances left – Scott and Pearl, and technically Martyn and Ren – and sticking with his doesn't cross Martyn's mind. Maybe accepting Ren's going to die, helping participate in that himself, is easier than trying to protect him and failing again.
So, Martyn makes efforts. But, despite this, he does end up getting close with his allies, especially with the Southlanders (excluding Grian) he had so many plans to escape from. He makes a habit of imitating Mumbo's intro at the start of each session; he votes to keep Jimmy in the alliance even after Jimmy had betrayed them by running away with a life they were passing around as a test of loyalty (Martyn's own life, no less). Viewing the world as only walls and corners wasn't enough for him back in 3rd Life, and no matter how reluctantly he tries to always give himself an out if things go wrong, it clearly isn't enough for him here, either – he does start to genuinely involve himself with them, genuinely care for them.
This care works, yet again, to Martyn's own detriment. Though it doesn't cause his death this time, he mourns them enough to hallucinate their presence – and, importantly the 'promise' of bringing them back to life is what the Voice (a mysterious entity that's been talking to him and telling him what to do for most of the season) uses to keep him obedient.
Martyn: And what if I don't like it your way? Voice: Do as we say. Martyn: W-Why should I? Voice: We can bring them back. Martyn: I don't believe you... Voice: We tell no lies Martyn: Fi-Fine! - LL Ep 8 intro, right after the hallucinations (seriously if you haven't watched any of his POV watch these moments). They're not brought back, of course.
He cares! No matter how much he tries to stop, or pretend he doesn't, c!Martyn is someone who cares deeply. That's something often missed in him.
And that's exactly why he takes so many measures against it.
Double Life
Devotion didn't work, and contingencies didn't, either. So, what does Martyn immediately do in Double Life after finding his soulmate? Cut Pearl off, even after both have been similarly abandoned. He can't take that chance again – he's learned twice now that having close bonds with others, whether you intend to turn on them or not, only ever leads to tragedy. He's learned that the hard way.
But... there is still someone Martyn tries to get close to. Cleo. It's the only time we ever see him actively trying to make a connection with someone, and whether tactics played a role in it or not, I think this is for one main reason: as they're soulbound, their lives are linked. For once, there's no risk of your closest friend dying before your eyes. For once, you don't have to plan to betray and escape, because it's not just one person winning the games – it's both of you, together.
And, for once, this works out for him! They don't win, of course – but when it comes down to it, him and Cleo do work together in their final moments. She doesn't turn on Martyn when he attacks Scott, and she fights Pearl with him. For once, he and his ally die together. In fact, this is the only time he arguably lost because he was too distant from others – it was his rejected ally who killed him, and it was him instantly turning on Scott after they were the final four which lead to the fight starting so soon. I do think Pearl and Scott were more likely to win even if Martyn had done things differently – both of them are very good in fights, and though Martyn is too, it's not Cleo's strong suit – but it's an interesting thing to note...
...Not that it changes anything about Martyn's mindset heading into the next game.
Limited Life
Why would Martyn's mindset change? After all, he successfully avoided what hurt the most, and so he instead doubles down. Yes, he's teamed with Scott – and even then, he's alone for the entire first episode, and only goes to Scott in the second after it's clear others have already formed their groups (numbers are a tactical advantage, after all) – but it's never meant to last. He'll protect him while others are standing, but the intention was always to betray him, to kill him eventually, thinking about it at least as early as Episode 4. To Martyn, their alliance is "fleeting and fragile" (linked in the previous clip), and there's even an excitement that comes from thinking about the betrayal. So, when the time comes to do this, he doesn't hesitate – though the Watchers' amplification of emotions did play a role (also in the lore stream), he's quick to turn on him and cut him down, expressing no apparent regret or remorse. Yet again, a success for Martyn!
...The thing is, all this comes at a cost. Those buckets' fulls of life he saw with Ren have emptied long ago, the corners and edges taking up his entire vision. Everyone is a number, a tactic, a liability, and the one who gave him those bucketfulls is fone. And in the end, being successful in his betrayal doesn't even change anything. Though part of his soul is protected from fragmenting (more info on what that means here), he can't know that. He's just thrust into another game with the same players, still missing Ren, to kill once again. He wanted so much for things to be over, to be the last one standing – "none of these niceties, this is a death match for a reason".
But... nothing changes. If surviving doesn't get you anything, and that was your only aim, that was what you gave everything for (alongside avoiding pain)... what, exactly, do you have to live for?
Post-Win
Secret Life
Now, I admit Secret Life came out at a time my interest in the Life Series was at a low, so I haven't actually watched anyone's perspective though (I did watch most of Martyn's, but the closest I got was watching nearly all of Etho's, since this was around the time of Decked Out 2. And I loved watching Etho play Decked Out 2). But there are two things to note with Martyn here. One, he's being a lot more reckless, partly because he's used to relying on hearts returning, but I think it's also because of the win being so inconsequential. Is there a point in spending all that effort surviving till the end?
Two, he's allied with... Jimmy?
If Martyn ends up hurt when his allies die before him, why ally with the player known for dying first?
Again, part of it may be tactics. Martyn nearly always spends the first episode wandering instead of immediately forming alliances, so he tends to team up with whoever's in a similar boat. But still – why pick the person known for permadying first? The person who Martyn had already been hurt by the death of once, in Last Life?
Maybe he's confident after Double Life and Limited Life. Maybe he thinks he's successfully managed to tread the line between 'useful ally' and 'friend you actually care about', and will be successful again. Maybe because Jimmy is so consistently first out, him dying early is more of an inevitability than a possibility (in Martyn's mind) – it won't come as a shock, and Martyn can be prepared. Maybe the fact that Jimmy did die that way in Last Life makes his inevitable death less impactful this time round.
Maybe it's also because he now knows winning gets you nothing, and he'd like to see those bucketfulls again.
Though it often doesn't show in the Life series itself, Jimmy is probably the closest person to him after Ren. For Martyn, the Life series is a direct continuation of EVO – a very long-running series in which his closest bond was with Jimmy, going through it all as a duo. He does express a wish to get close to him in 3rd Life because of this, but after Jimmy rejects him for Scott, Martyn stops bringing it up.
But they're close to each other, and met each other in a context other than the death games. Maybe this alliance is a way of trying to find that life again. I wish I'd followed the series closely enough at the time to see if it was successful, and I'll find out soon enough.
...Whatever the motivation, though, Martyn is there again when he dies (even after he's not the first out). And no matter how careful he might've been being, no matter how successfully he treaded the line the two times before – once again, it hurts.
"These idiots are just laughing. They have absolutely no idea … what they just unleashed. The hound of hell is coming. There will no bark. Only BITE." - Martyn internally, at the end of Episode 6.
So you'd think that after this, Martyn reverts to keeping his distance, right? He tried something and it didn't work, so he dials it all the way back?
In another world, maybe that would've happened. The thing is, there's one difference.
Ren.
Wild Life
This is the first season since Double Life where he spent the first session with someone else, and the first season ever where he goes with that person immediately and then sticks in an alliance with them until the very end. For once, it's a conscious and immediate choice to stick with one person (one not lifebound to him) – Ren's been gone too long, so die first or not, it doesn't matter.
Maybe that isn't the whole story, though. Because the recklessness, worse than ever, continues.
...Let's take a break, and remind ourselves of 3rd Life. Martyn was one of the last Greens, only dying in session seven, and was the second-last player on Green if we exclude BigB, who wasn't physically there in session 7 and so couldn't die (only Impulse outlived him). Let's remind ourselves of Last Life, which is even more impressive – he died for the first time in session 8, after half the server had been eliminated, and was the last Yellow standing. Even then, he successfully managed to hide for a long time, only dying because he got sick of knowing he was always being hunted and decided to mark his location to the Reds with lava to go out in a final stand, coming third overall. In Double Life, we have the same pattern – though he and Cleo went to Yellow after Martyn miscalculated when pushing her on a cliff, the pair were once again the last Yellows, and Martyn once again came third. He's actually the only player in Double Life who didn't die himself once (...though that's on a technicality, since he was directly behind his and Cleo's first deaths). In Limited Life, though he had a rough start, he won.
If pre-win Martyn is good at one thing, it's survival.
But after?
We've already talked about Secret Life, but Wild Life takes this newfound recklessness to the extreme. This isn't about placement – it certainly impacts it, but his last two deaths especially were caused by something else (...sort of) – but about the way his life is treated as an afterthought, completely secondary to the antics he wants to do in that moment. He comes across a wheat farm people are saying is trapped, and the first thing he does is pick a piece of wheat, stand on it and break it, to see if that's the one that explodes (none do, but he does this multiple times!). He starts a game of chicken under a ledge people are actively throwing TNT minecarts off of, involving himself in every round. He drops down to Yellow due to flicking a suspicious trapdoor in the middle of someone's base (because he was "bored")... and his immediate reaction to this is "okay, good"??? Though that may be because he can use the death to guilt trip others for resources, or to distract people so Skizz could try to get some kills (as he was trying to before), it still shows that he values his life very little. He's killed by Pearl because he turns his back to a player with a grudge against him (Martyn just blew up her entire team barring her), who'd already placed down an End Crystal (which was then destroyed by Martyn's bow) in the same interaction. He volunteers himself for a plan (by Grian) which involves him definitely dying and turning Red – Grian's pitch is "is anyone up for a massive sacrifice mission?" – due to being the distraction keeping everyone in place while Grian shoots an End Crystal at the place Martyn has gathered them. He does ask Ren if it's okay with him (clipped there tooo) before agreeing, but that's the only consideration he takes. With his first death to Scar, there wasn't much indication Martyn would be suddenly pushed off, so I'll let it slide (Scar was still Red, though). Scar attacking him the final time was similar... but it should be noted that Martyn died to his own creeper, saying "I at least thought we would both go out together" as a response (though he did die this way back in Last Life too, with an End Crystal instead). This is not someone who's okay. And Ren does pick up on this – not that it does anything in the end.
As a result, Martyn goes out before Ren – only his second time dying before an ally (BigB outplaced him in 3rd Life by one), and his first ever time dying before his closest.
And I can't help but think – was this the reason he was being so reckless? I'm sure being restless played a role as well, but if you don't care about getting to the end anymore since nothing awaits you there... the only way to escape the pain of losing an ally is being the one to die first. This way he gets to both genuinely enjoy the time he spends with someone, unafraid of what caring might cause, and to not feel the pain of losing them.
If this were the case, it would be a selfish move. But as we established at the very beginning – Martyn has always been one to protect himself.
Conclusion
What happens when you're trapped in a death game? When you know how everything will end, that those close to you will die; when you know yourself well enough to know you'll be affected? When you try not to care, but something inside you still aches for that little bit more – but also when, ultimately, you're your fist priority?
...In discussions of c!Martyn and loyalty, a thought that's often brought up is that Martyn never really cared about his allies in the first place. He was always planning to betray them to win, after all. Of course, the latter is true – at least before his win. But I think the reason behind it is a little muddled.
Martyn doesn't betray others because he doesn't care.
He betrays them because he knows he will.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 months ago
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Paradigm Shift 3
Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.
Summary: you get transferred to a new position but it’s hardly a breath of fresh air. (plus!reader)
Characters: Loki, Bucky Barnes, this reader is known as Billie.
Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜
💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼
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Dark roast, black. You're tempted to order one for yourself but the extra dose of caffeine might unhinge you after the morning you've had. Transfer, no desk, a firing, a stolen desk, and two painfully aloof bosses.  
You go back up to the office, the short reprieve offering some clarity but not solutions. There has to be some way to get more than a grunt and a closed door from these men. Geez, if you wanted to work with children you would've done so. 
You knock on Mr. Barnes' door. The one next to it opens first. Laufeyson considers you from head to toe and Barnes appears not a second after. He takes his cup without a thanks. 
"Mm, and where is mine then?" Laufeyson challenges. 
You blink, long and hard. Of course. Of course! You let out a slow breath, "what would you like, Mr. Laufeyson?" 
You don't miss the quiet snort from the other door and it closes before you can glance Barnes' expression. You have a suspicion he expected this. It's like your first job when you worked with a bunch of men in stocks. Their numbers were as bloated as their egos. 
“Matcha.” 
The door shuts in your face. Again. You bite down and stretch your fingers wide. It’s fine. It’s fine. Growing pains. 
Matcha... what? Iced? Latte? Hot tea? Smoothie? Wonderful, a guessing game. 
You will be getting yourself another coffee for the trouble. Another trip to Roasters and you settle on the simplest option; just tea. You’re certain if you’re wrong, he’ll let you know.  
You stand at the two office doors and contemplate your life decisions. Is this worth it? Can you beg Odinson to take you back? To send down another poor soul? You almost feel bad doing that to someone else. You’re about to give when that innate stubborn ticks in your jaw. It’s only been a few hours. You don’t just give up that easy. 
Knock, knock. There’s a delay before Laufeyson answers. You’re not put off by it. You know the tactic. It won’t work on you. If his tea is cold, it won’t be your fault. 
“Matcha, sir,” you hold out the cup. 
He accepts it and reads the sticker on the side. He narrows his green eyes and looks at you, “note for next time, I prefer Garcon’s to Roasters.” 
Click. Another shut door. You’re really starting to get angry. You laugh out the flurry of agitation and turn away. What else can you do but think of it as a joke? It has to be. It’s just that absurd. 
You sit at the desk and open your laptop. You get it hooked up to the monitor and refinagle the cords. That’s an accomplishment at least. A tiny morsel of victory. You glance around and frown. It’s like the waiting room in Beetlejuice; everyone looks miserable. Well, can you blame them? 
Your phone buzzes and you check the messages. Girl nights hangs like bait at the end of your day, keeping you swimming through dark waters. It’s a bit ridiculous. Your friends are all like you in one way but all vastly different in many other ways. You all spend your days taking care of men who couldn’t give a shit about any of you. 
You can already taste the Paloma; bitter grapefruit with the burn of tequila. You are dying to drink away this day. You look at the clock and nearly whimper. It’s not even one o’clock. Ugh. 
You plug away at your desk. You get the daily agendas templated then spend time scouring the web. You have something in mind. You’re pretty sure you can make it work. As long as those grumps can do the simplest of tasks. 
You customize the survey and send the link. You doubt you’ll get a response today or even at all. It’s a hail mary, really. Barnes’ door opens, then Laufeysons. Your chest fills with dread. Great. 
“Hello, sir and... sir,” you sit up as they approach. 
“What is the meaning of that quiz?” Laufeyson demands. 
“It’s not-- 
“Asking a lot, aren’t you?” Barnes crosses his arms. 
“No, I just--” 
“What business do you have about my dry cleaning?” Laufeyson hisses. 
“I have lunch when I have lunch. I'm not a child at grade school,” Barnes sneers.
“Okay, woah,” you put your palms out, “first, there’s an n/a column, you can choose not to disclose the information. Two, I need to know what to do. What do you want from me?” 
Both men frown and look at each other, then back to you. 
“I can think of one,” Laufeyson raises a finger, “don’t treat us as children who need you to put our socks on.” 
“Good one,” Barnes scoffs, “also, you could stop with calendar reminders.” 
“Those are automatic,” you mutter. 
“And the arguing,” Laufeyson points at you. 
You sputter, dizzy at their onslaught of criticism. They can tell you exactly what they don’t want but they can’t give you a clear answer as to why you are there. You calm yourself with a breath and sip of coffee. 
“Mr. Laufeyson, Mr. Barnes--” 
“Why him first? My name’s first alphabetically,” Barnes says. 
“I--” you stop yourself and take another taste of your coffee, “if my presence is getting in the way of your work, I will go back upstairs and talk to Mr. Odinson--” 
“Mr. Odinson? Thor?” Laufeyson says, “no, you won’t do that. In fact, that is another item for your list, no talking to my brother. Especially of me.” 
You could tear your hair out. You could hit your head on the wall. You could gauge your eyes out and drown yourself in your coffee. Instead, you smile. 
“Got it,” you say, “well, sirs, good luck with your meeting this afternoon.” 
“Yes, thank you,” Laufeyson intones. 
“Mm, sure,” Barnes says and they both turn on their heels then stop at once. They face you in sync with each other. 
“Meeting?” They ask. 
“Mmhm,” you nod, “it’s in your calendars.” 
They stare at you. 
“If that’s something you’d like me to brief you on,” you say tritely, “you can submit that in the survey.” 
Laufeyson hums dryly and Barnes growls. Neither says anything further as they retreat. You keep your eyes on the screen as your heartbeat races. You can’t believe you said that. 
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a-star-that-burns-brightly · 4 months ago
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CH2-12 thoughts (spoilers, I guess. You probably shouldn't be in the tag if you haven't finished the episode though.)
So! DRDT is officially back, and wow what a way to begin the rollercoaster we'll be put through the next few weeks. This episode was amazing, and I wanted to discuss my thoughts on it in a more detailed form. This episode gave us a lot of character moments that I want to at least mention, so let's get into it? Before we do though, I want to say that through these posts, I will be updating two things and showing them at the beginning and end First one being the swear statistics! It became a thing after my previous rewatch that every time a character swears, I count it, and I want to continue doing that for the rest of the series if I can so manage it.
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^ current swear statistics as of CH2-11
And the second being...drumroll please!
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My own personal DRDT CH2-Part 2 bingo card! If something on this list happens in CH2-Part 2, I'll check it off. Hopefully I can get a bingo or two in here, especially since, spoilers, two of the boxes have already been checked. But with all of that preamble out of the way, let's begin shall we? I’m going to cover the character moments we got in separate categories of the well…characters, rather than in order, for the sake of being concise.
Arturo
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First and foremost, “Shut your whore mouth” made me scream at the top of my lungs. God I wish that was voiced. But more importantly, the thing about Arturo being very young for a plastic surgeon actually being addressed was not something I expected, especially so early. But I definitely appreciate the nuggets of Arturo backstory. Funny enough, his situation sounds very similar to Min’s in some regard, especially this line
(x) Arturo: I was only able to get this far in such a short amount of time because I specialized in plastic surgery, and nothing else. I neglected everything that wasn't immediately relevant to my goals.
This absolutely plays a factor into his relationship with his little sister. It more than likely was not just him leaving that made her commit suicide, but perhaps also years of neglect. And if she really felt like she couldn't live a life without Arturo in it, it's safe to say that their parents probably weren't the best either. The more I learn about Arturo and his homelife the more worried I am for him and especially his sister.
Veronika
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Veronika didn't get much besides being her usual self, but I gave her a category because I wanted to point out two things One, Veronika calling Arturo cute. That just made me smile
And secondly, this line right here
(x) Veronika: Oh, and don't say something as boring as "I want to kill myself." I have no interest in such mundane reasons.
This is so fucked up and awful and gross and I absolutely love her for it. I just know she's going to get worse, I hope she does.
And also the fact that she apparently finds suicide to be inherently boring is very interesting, given the fact that she more than likely has the self-harm secret.
Whit
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I know he didn't have much, if any major role in this episode but...listen I missed him. So much. You have actually zero idea how much I missed him and his goofiness... But also I can't believe that was the explanation for the dent in the computer lab that's been bugging me for months. Well played DT-Dev... (though the fact that Whit got away with breaking a rule solely because MonoTV thought it was funny is a bit fishy...it's almost like he's the MASTERMIND-- /hj)
We also in general got a lot of Charles and Whit moments, which I always like to see I don't think there's anything else to cover when it comes to Wh--
(x) David: Ugh! Goddamn it, Whit, does everything you say have to be made into some shitty dumb joke?! You're actually really fucking annoying! Shut the fuck up!!
...Well, when I said I wanted more Whitvid interactions I guess this can serve as a reward. ...guys dont worry this is how we can still wi--
Levi
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...I mean, what else is there to say really?
No but actually I'll talk. This is what we've been theorizing for a year, and I actually had it in my predictions that Levi's secret was going to be the one revealed in this episode. But I did not expect it right at the end, nor did I expect it to be so sudden. And I don't think Levi has any reason to lie either, so I think this is his actual secret. Seeing him lose confidence and apologize for his unhelpfulness kind of stung to me, honestly. Levi has been trying to help the group since the very beginning, and that has only amplified since the start of Chapter 2. So seeing him...basically give up was very upsetting He is definitely going to be in the hot seat next week's episode and I am very excited for it, hopefully we get some insight on his past as well and...maybe a levi and nico interaction? please dt-dev? please? :>
Hu
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FishyFried, as always, knocked it out of the fucking park with Hu's voice acting, and her monologue towards David was just as amazing...if not a bit terrifying, as it directly parallels with her hidden quote
I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.
I think I've said this before, but I adore David and Hu's dynamic and how both of them tackle the themes of change in their own ways, how both of them project onto the people around them to fulfill their own desires due to being stagnant in their own growth as people, it's so much fun, and I can't wait to see how this continues to develop in the later chapters I am sincerely a ch5victim!david + ch5killer!hu believer at the end of the day.
Teruko
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Oh Teruko, quite a bit to discuss with you today.
For starters, her genuinely feeling embarrassed and upset upon realizing what she did wrong, apologizing for it, and (how I interpreted it anyway) beginning to realize that working alone and not accepting help from others is starting to bite her in the ass? That was not what I expected. I really did think that Teruko was going to get worse before she got better, but maybe she's improving a lot quicker than I thought (...let's hope she doesn't backslide again though, especially if the culprit is who I think it is) Also.
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If I have to live with this knowledge, so the-fuck do you. And then there's her argument with David, which I already made a post about, but I want to add onto it by saying that the performances from Swords and LuucarIi here are absolutely phenomenal. One of my favorite voice acted scenes in the entire series. I have replayed Teruko's "Hah! Based on what?!" probably around 20 times and I will repeat it 20 times more because the delivery gives me actual chills. This fangan has such an amazing voice cast oh my god it's insane.
David
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Oh. You are such a broken, broken man, and you are absolutely going to go down the Simon Laurent route. I actually don't have a lot to add when it comes to David's actual motivations for his actions, I think a lot of us theorized that he was trying to kill everyone and himself. But the main thing I want to talk about is the Xander shit because oh my god this man is Down Fucking Horrendous. I mentioned all the way back in this post that David idolizes Xander just as much as Xander idolizes him. What I didn't expect was for him to still be clinging onto the hope Xander gave him and trying to follow in his footsteps, and being borderline possessive over the damn dead man. Xander may have idolized David, but David is obsessed with Xander and what he represents to him. And he is willing to ruin his reputation, reliability, and dignity in pursuit of what he thinks is right. Not to mention, it puts the Tally5 image in a whole new light.
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Though I still think these words apply to the very possible revolution that David, Xander, and Mai enacted towards Hope's Peak, a theory that has become even more credible after this episode, I also think these lines portray David's thought process during his actions in CH2-11 and his motivation for doing the things that he does. David calling Xander "the only good person he's ever known" is very, very telling when you consider what he personally thinks makes someone a bad person (lazy, useless, stupid). And that makes me upset. Xander and David's relationship will never not be absolutely fascinating to me. ...alSO DAVID APPARENTLY HAS MEMORIES FROM HOPE'S PEAK??? APPARENTLY??? Like am I reading that right or do I just have bad media literacy. How...How does he??? WHY does he??? Why did he say he didn't know who Xander was in the prologue???? I am very confused and I'm sure it will all be answered. Extra Thoughts !! - we got 7:30 AM confirmation, woohoo!! And the bonus of Arei swinging when she was first found was such a good detail and I’m surprised none of us noticed it, honestly. With that confirmation, that leaves basically everyone else (minus J, David, Veronika, Hu, and Nico) in the hot-seat. - the multitude of new sprites we got were so amazing, especially David's - Apparently everything that happened in the second half of CH2-11 was in the span of two hours?! Sheesh, the editing crew on the TV show must be working overtime. Hopefully they get a paycheck and its not just MonoTV who gets paid. - If I had any doubt in my brain that Eden was the culprit it has basically dissipated with this episode. I really do not know who else it could be other than her. three of the five main suspects other than her have basically been cleared up, either through alibi (J and Hu) or though plot (Levi) David and Nico are also cleared from suspicion Though there isn't really any plot or evidence reason to necessarily exclude Rose, given her moment in CH2-8 and, let's be honest, this murder being way too physically complicated for someone as lethargic as her to commit, I'm inclined to believe she is not And every other character has something that's clearly being set up to be further explored in Chapter 3 (Charles, Whit, Ace, Arturo, and Veronika) Like... even if you don't think Eden is the culprit, you can't deny that she's the odd one out here. I still think Accomplice!Levi is true, but I also truthfully think the culprit can't be anyone other than Eden - If I were to give one I-guess critique though, not just on this episode but on the trial as a whole, it's that we are four trial episodes in and there has been very, very little focus on the actual murder mystery itself. We have barely even covered 80% of the evidence. This isn't like, a huge problem for me specifically because I very much watch DRDT for the astounding character writing over the murder mysteries, and I definitely think that the lack of focus on the case is worth the amazing character moments we got in this episode. But I can see it really bothering some people, and there's a part of me that can't help but be a bit afraid that the actual solving of the murder case is going to hit the audience with a bunch of information at once and come across as a bit rushed due to the lack of focus it's had so far. I trust that DT-Dev is cooking though, and it'll probably be a lot more cohesive once we have the full trial to look through.
Predictions for CH2-13 - Like I said before, Levi is going to become the main suspect easily thanks to his secret reveal. I know Ace is going to be on his ass especially, because in his mind it would basically confirm the image he has already conjured up of Levi in his mind as a violent brute who is going to snap his neck any second. J is also going to jump to conclusions because that's just what she does, and she was already concerned about the murderer secret to begin with. - Furthermore, I think most of this episode is going to entail Teruko trying to disprove that Levi could've been the culprit. Considering the fact that there, well, isn't much evidence to suggest he didn't, maybe this episode will feature this chapter's Random Guess minigame. - I highly doubt we're getting an AM VS PM scrum debate now, but maybe we'll get one on whether or not Levi is the culprit? Maybe? - On the topic of trial minigames, I hope we get another nonstop debate, it's been like three episodes since we've had one lmao - Nico is either going to defend Levi, or reiterate the speech that J gave them in CH2-9. Either way, I hope this reveal causes them to interact it would be so interesting - We are on a track-record of having at least one person's secret exposed every trial episode. Considering the fact that Xander and Min are dead, and I do not think Teruko's secret will come out until the end of the chapter, that really only leaves Hu and Veronika...which is interesting, as they are both in the clear for being the culprit. Hu has already had multiple moments to shine in this trial, so I think its more likely that Veronika's secret will be the one getting revealed. How that happens, I am unsure. But I think Veronika will be the next person to have her secret revealed.
Conclusion Overall, I think this episode was amazing and a great way to kick off the end of the hiatus. I can already tell that these next few weeks are going to be a wild ride for us DRDT fans, but we're all in this together, so I think everything's going to be fine (nothing is going to be fine.)
UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS: CH2-12
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UPDATED BINGO CARD
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22ndnervousbreakdown · 5 months ago
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Which social media would Sherlock Holmes characters have, according to a discussion I had with my friends in the middle of a night a couple days ago. This is ACD Holmes I think but leaning onto Soviet movies somewhat.
(And yes I'm aware telegram isn't popular outside of russian-speaking internet but just let it be part of the joke i guess)
Holmes: a lot of fake accounts on every website ever, but the only place that he actually posts on for himself is his telegram channel about tobacco varieties that has almost no followers. When Watson learned that Holmes has telegram, he was pissed because he thought Holmes is there to buy drugs.
Watson: he's a really popular ao3 writer. Also has a tumblr blog and an insta where he posts pictures of food, pictures of Holmes and sometimes his drawings (which he photographs with a lot of random stuff in the background for "aesthetics"). He also created a number of "official" Sherlock Holmes accounts without telling Holmes and makes all the posts there himself.
Mrs Hudson: facebook, where she posts recipes, household advices and stuff like that, and occasionally grumbles about Holmes and Watson. Also whenever they do something that really pisses her off, she would list the flat for rent, but always take it down shortly.
Moriarty: tumblr where he mostly posts about maths and a personal website to advertise as a private math tutor. Also a private telegram channel that Holmes somehow managed to follow from a fake acc.
Lestrade: EVERY social media ever. Most notably, twitter, where he always gets in fights (especially with Holmes's fake accs). He also set up an official Scotland Yard tiktok where he just makes really bad edits of policemen just walking somewhere with some music and lots of filters on.
Irene Adler: Instagram. Also onlyfans where she posts really rarely and she's always fully clothed, but she still has like thousands on thousands of followers there.
Mycroft: an official twitter that he hired someone to manage. Also facebook.
Mary Morstan: She doesn't actually exist, it's just one of Holmes's fake Instagram accs where he posted pictures of "Watson's wedding" to escape rumours.
Sir Henry Baskerville: onlyfans with only one subscriber whose username is infusoria666. Everyone but sir Henry himself knows it's Dr. Mortimer. Also Dr. Mortimer tried to set up a travel blog for him but ended up having to post there by himself.
Dr. Mortimer: tumblr blog full of skulls and also a youtube channel. He's also one of the few people who follow Holmes's tobacco telegram, and probably its biggest fan. When they met, he mentioned his youtube channel a lot, hoping that Holmes will ask for a link, but he just ignored even the most obvious hints.
Also:
Baker Street irregulars all have tiktok. They force Watson to watch skibidi toilets.
Lestrade writes with a lot of errors and uses emojis excessively.
Moriarty writes immaculately with all the capital letters and punctuation and periods in the end of every sentence. Holmes does the same but with no capital letters.
Holmes followed Irene Adler from one of his female fake accs. She in turn followed his tobacco channel from a male acc, and commented under one of his posts recommending him to follow a blog on autism.
Once Watson posted a photo of his lunch on his insta and after that a photo of Holmes with a caption "desert :)" and refused to delete it.
Holmes made a youtube channel about beekeeping when he retired.
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galactic-rhea · 3 months ago
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how do you think anakin (or your anakin) would take clovis? i found those episodes to be really ooc😭
Oh boy, I knew this day would come,,,the day in which someone asked me about these awful episodes, thanks user @songspirits now this conversation won't have to wait any longer NKLJnjfdf
To quote a friend of mine that only watched the movies when I told her the summary of the Clovis arc: "I think Anakin would've asked padme to held her wig instead while she personally goes to fight that guy, the anakin i know at least"
Jokes aside, I'll have to break this down on a few points because there's just,,,a lot going on in these episodes (to be clear I don't intend to change anyone's mind in the matter, since i already know many ppl believe these episodes to be good for anakin's ehh,,,going-evil characterization). This will get long.
So first of all: The very first episode where Clovis shows up is just alright, could've been done much better but seriously I don't have many issues with it.
The problem arises with the new ones in season 6. The why I feel Anakin is out character in these episodes is because his very, very well known and yet somehow missinterpreted flaw is that he reacts with extreme violence, especially when scared, scared not for himself but for someone he cares about.
So him reacting badly and going directly for a bloody fistfight against Clovis wasn't the problem of the episodes. It was how he treated Padmé. Like, literally telling her he would leave her in jail if she kept mentioning Clovis, lmao. Also the "You have no say on this" yadayada. I think the writer for these episodes was probably taking their confrontation at Mustafar as a reference point, which...No, that shouldn't have been the case bc in Mustafar that guy literally turned evil (literally!) and he had lost touch with reality. And also the stakes were higher. And also his anger was completely different there.
But, at the same time, if I play the devil's advocate, I can see some...eh, explanations there. For example he had recently lost Ahsoka and one of his men, the War was on the third year, and Padmé was decidely working with someone that already almost got her killed once, and she wasn't listening to him. They didn't even actually discussed the situation very well. And when Anakin says that "as your husband, I ask-" he turns around and is completelly unable to look at her in the eyes, so it could very well be that not even himself believed that, he was mostly throwing onto the table every single card he had. And one could argue that there's no way he didn't hear/notice/sense/ whatever that Padmé wasn't okay with that kiss.
But even then, the writers were clearly going for your very average possesive-sexist-angry-jealous- boyfriend, which isn't Anakin's problem, like I said, his problem is how deeply scared he is of Padmé being hurt. So Anakin's main concern shouldn't be that he's being cheated on, but that Padmé could be hurt, and they kinda touched on that but they failed at portraying that well, and I think it's because:
a) This episode shows us an extremelly common trope in shows with many episodes and many one-time-plots: The classic add-another-person-so-main-character-gets-jealous-. And almost always this type of episode gets us very ooc characterizations, no matter the show, because this society usually can't see any other reaction that isn't angry-possesive-violent jealousy. He also treats Padmé quite badly even before she decides to keep working with him, which is a no-no for me.
b) The shows forgets that Anakin does, actually, has a lot of faith and trust in Padmé's abilities. Yes, he worries, a lot, but he still is very confident on her being a more than capable person. He doesn't want to keep her in a cage or something, part of the reason he's so in love with her is because of how capable and intelligent she is. In ROTS is different because he quite literally had a prophetic vision that proved to be true before, and there's very little to do in this case, it had nothing to do with abilities or someone else. Also, if AOTC tells me anything, is that they're fairly talktative aka they communicate fairly well. Even in previous episodes we see that Padmé is great at communicating and discussing (look at how she reassured Ahsoka when Ahsoka was worried about her. Or that little bit where she's concerned about a party.); in this episode there was none of that until after Anakin almost kills a guy.
c) I think they simply, and flatly, just wanted to show Anakin being dangerous and darker and have Padmé concerned and all of that. And what better way to show a man becoming evil than being a jealous boyfriend. Isn't like Anakin has already murdered a lot of people, amirite. This is a bit of a problem with the simplification of a character. If they're bad or becoming evil, they also surely must be hyper jealous and possesive, there's no other way.
TO SUMMARIZE: I don't think Anakin was handled well, at all. Because the episodes were rellying on a very basic trope, which needed them to break the characters to fit the cookie cutter. However I can see some attempt at deepness there. It's like if it was the characters pretending to be more cartoonized version of themselves, if you know what I mean.
HOWEVER,,,,that said, the biggest sin for me isn't Anakin being OOC...IS HOW PADMÉ WAS TREATED.
They seriously had to put her into a sexual harassament plot, only for it all to be about how Anakin is evil (tm), and not have her respond at all? They really had her to put up with a creepy rapey dude just because.....What is even the narrative trying to tell us at all, that Anakin was actually was actually right, but overreacted? The plot is so contrived, Lmao.
She was the one that got harassed and yet she had no say on it, she's extremelly passive in the whole arc (which we all already know isn't Padmé's personality, even Anakin tends to follow the narrative in more passive way than she does). Then they also had to have her on the trope of "If a woman is going to be a spy, then she must use all her goods and being a femme fatale", and then they didn't even made her fatale. They could AT LEAST give us a moment of her reflecting about having been lowkey assaulted? No? Huh,okay.
Also, Padmé is actually very good at, let's say, handling Anakin. Or more like, reassuring him/discussing stuff with him, and I say this because of bits of the novels I have seen. She's more self-assured and confident, and experienced with social stuff, she's definitely not naive, and can stand her ground fairly easily, and she knew what type of guy was Clovis, so yeah, it's just...she was badly written here, she lost almost all of her agency. I'm not saying it was her fault or anything, or that it was her responsability to calm down her clown of a husband, but it goes against what we know Padmé is like.
Also apparently throwing himself onto the void was Clovis' apology for...almost getting her killed several times, kissing her without consent, being a creep and also using her as hostage. You know, so he's more of a deep character, I guess.
The good points for this arc though, are:
° Ol' Sheev doing what Sheev does best, and actually having some interesting stuff going on, they should've focused on that.
° They (miraculously) remembered a bit of Anakin's and Padmé's actual personalities, and when she told him to back off and that she needed a time, he accepted her desires to leave her alone and looked like a sad wet cat, like Anakin tends to look like. Also thank god they had Padmé's behaviour being nothing like the one of what you would expect from a victim of abusive relationships (Anakin was making his ooc scene and she just looked like 'bitch,what the hell has gotten into you', she had the audience's response, which is 'anakin? what?', which at least tells us this isn't Anakin's normal behaviour at all, i guess?)
° Obi-Wan and Anakin talking a little bit. Also Anakin's room had a poster of the Boonta's Eve race, he also had a little ship-toy, showing us that Luke really takes after his father, lol.
°...Idk what else to highlight from these episodes 😭😂 Did I already say Sheev's scheming? Uhhhh,well, uhh, idk, Padmé taking Clovis to the opera in an attempt to get info from him is kinda ...Ironic.
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dingodad · 4 months ago
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personally the vriska calling him a pedophile bit wasnt out of place for me. Canonically vriska doesnt shy away from saying that scratch is a sexual predator, she does state outright to his face that he gets off on manipulating little girls in the comic.
i think "would it be in character for vriska to say that" and "does it make sense in the context of the story for her to say that" are two subtly but crucially different questions, though.
like, on the one hand: it has always been textually clear that doc scratch is not LITERALLY a pedophile. he's a completely asexual organism. by using that word to describe him, you're making the subtextual textual. and this kind of "saying the quiet part out loud" is something the HICU have done very deliberately since they took the helm of hs2; they are intimately aware, i think, of the fact that they are fans in charge of deconstructing homestuck for the entertainment of other fans, and that in service of that aim sometimes you need to be willing to have mature discussions out in the open. a lot of the time this has worked for them quite well, especially in terms of getting old readers back on board with a story which has in the past been overly subtle to the point of excruciating boredom. but sometimes it teeters close to the edge of "characters talking like they're fully aware they're getting therapy", and i think this example leans somewhat toward the latter. like, is there really anyone reading hs2 at this point who doesn't already have some understanding that scratch is a predator? who exactly did it serve to make that already blatant comparison that much more overt?
on the other hand... i get the impression that vriska is actually aware of this distinction, on some level? like emphasising the fact that scratch is a child predator is almost a sort of shield for her. the name of vriska's game in this chapter is minimisation; while it's super cool and heroic to admit that part of your tragic backstory involves a sick spider monster and a badass lady pirate, by trying to paint scratch as nothing more than a pathetic kiddy fiddler what she's really saying is that because he never actually molested her then she was never really abused, that she was never really a victim and therefore he was never actually a significant presence in her life at all. that's how she lives with it, by role playing as the predator to forget the fact that she was ever prey.
i think what i question about this is possibly that vriska would even know to use that word at all? writing dialogue that actually feels authentically like stuff trolls would say is another thing i think hs2 has had a rough time with ("that is a completely normal human sentence"?). the gay joke in the tavros chapter was funny because it had been a long time since we heard caliborn and jake do the same gag but it feels like they tried to capture that same energy with vriska calling tavros a "pussy" in this chapter and it fell flat. and it felt just as unnatural for a troll to say the word "pussy" as it did for her to say the word "pedophile". i think what makes alternia and its traumatic knock-on effects so effective is that it's often more insidious than it is explicit; trolls barely have the language to describe all the institutionalised neglect and abuse that is happening around them all the time because to them it's just how the world works! yeah sollux has that line about sex offenders and schools, but i think that basically serves to illustrate my point, because for the most part we all seem to understand that trolls don't have what we would be able to identify as "school" either: sexual abuse and education are concepts that, in the world of homestuck, exist entirely in the abstract; tropes to be evoked but not things that ever actually happen.
that being said, alternia is designed to reflect the structure of homestuck as a whole, and the reason alternia doesn't have sex offenders or schools is because homestuck in general does not explicitly concern itself with these topics. we understand that escaping homestuck and settling down on Earth C means settling down in the "real world", replacing the threat of time-travelling demons with real struggles and real problems, and as a continuation of the homestuck epilogues hs2 naturally IS going to continue to touch on sex and politics and all the other stuff that was delegated mostly to the subtextual in the original comic. i think the structure of this chapter even kind of alludes to this; tavros and erisol beckon vriska to relax for a moment and play childish games with them like she used to do when she was a kid on alternia, but by choosing to forge on ahead with her personal growth vriska is immediately confronted with the fact that becoming an adult is NOT like a webcomic, it's NOT all allegories and RPG battles; it can be sick and it can be hurtful and it can stop you right in your tracks just as you thought you were "making progress" toward "winning".
i just feel that by having vriska apply Earth C vocabulary to an Alternian experience right off the bat, we've skipped over a key part of her transition from homestuck to the real world. would this chapter have been any easier to stomach if it had been about vriska coming to grips with the fact that scratch was a predator in the first place? no, of course not LOL. i think my gripe here might literally just be with the word choice. like i believe the writers have it in them to express what they were trying to express here in a much more interesting way than simply having vriska say "lol he's a pedophile". yes, addressing something literally that has only ever been mentioned before in symbols and whispers is part of the impact of this update, but i don't think that has to come at the expense of the dialogue actually feeling like it belongs in the mouths of these characters
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monstersandmaw · 1 year ago
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Male dullahan x gn reader (sfw)
Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.
OH boy, this is a personal one for me on a number of levels (which usually means it's gonna tank), but here's the first of my five new commissions - this one is for the incredibly supportive and sweet @doomfisthero.
It features one of the Supernatural Biker Gang I mentioned in this post, which a lot of you seemed to like, so I hope you're keen to meet the cheeky, goofball dullahan with a heart of gold! Not gonna lie, I went way over the agreed wordcount for this one because it's the world I've already started building, and it's got characters I've already been thinking of for a while.
Content: gender neutral reader who experiences severe anxiety around being pranked/practical joked, which occurs at one point in the story. There’s no malicious intent or bullying behind the prank, and it gets discussed afterwards. The reader is a writer, doing research for a story about bikers, and has no idea that there's something a little 'extra' about this gang. Their friend, Adi, is dating one of them already, and I hope to write their story soon too.
Wordcount: 9216
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“God, this was such a stupid idea,” you muttered as you approached the only shop on that wide, empty side street. Its metal sign swung gently back and forth in a light, autumn breeze, displaying a full moon on a black background, with a cruiser-style motorbike silhouetted in front of it, and the white, artfully-distressed font underneath it read ‘Full Moon Motorcycles’.
A second later, your friend stepped out onto the pavement and you knew there was no turning back. Adrianne grinned at you, so you kicked your feet back into motion and closed the distance between you, offering her a small hug. Your leather messenger bag bumped against your hip with the movement, and you wondered if perhaps you should have left your notebook and stuff at home for this first time. It felt more like an interview than getting to know them, and you were worried the group of unfamiliar bikers might take offence that you essentially wanted to study them for your novel.
“Ready to meet the gang?” she laughed, sweeping her messy, dark blonde hair back out of her eyes. “God, you look terrified. Come on, they’re nice! Except maybe Pixie. Don’t mess with her, but she’s not here today. Or Demon, but even he’s ok when you get to know him, I swear.”
“Not helping, Adi,” you grumbled.
Ever since she’d started working for Dahlia Ink across town about six months ago, Adrianne had been hanging around with the group of bikers who all got their ink done there it seemed, and it had almost felt like serendipity in action when she’d told you about them over coffee last weekend. You didn’t tend to talk much about your writing, even with your friends, but you trusted Adi, and she’d always been supportive of your career as an author, so you’d shyly opened up to her about your latest idea for a story featuring a group of bikers. You did leave out the part where the bikers in your story were mostly vampires and werewolves, with a few other supernatural species thrown in as well. Fantasy had always been your comfort-genre, but people had snickered in the past and made you feel like it wasn’t a ‘serious’ genre that ‘serious’ writers pursued, so you’d omitted it this time while telling her about it.
“It’s the perfect excuse for you to come and finally meet Țepeș then!” she’d blurted excitedly into the foam of her cappuccino, her green-brown eyes going wide with excitement at the idea of including you in her group of new friends. They all had weird nicknames, and you had no idea if it was a ‘biker’ thing or just a ‘them’ thing, but you’d been burning up with curiosity about them ever since she’d first started dating the one called Țepeș. “I’ve been dying to find an excuse for you to come meet him. Plus you can ask him anything you want to know for your story, and — oh…”
Her face had fallen, and you’d frowned, heart dropping already. “What?”
“Eh, he’s… he’s not completely non-verbal, but Țepeș doesn’t exactly find talking easy. Maybe you could come to the shop and meet the rest of them instead though? I’m sure Pickle or Pumpkin would love to talk your ear off about their bikes…”
“I dunno, I don’t want to get in the way,” you’d said, trying not to let that tiny, kindling ember of hope in your chest wink out completely. “But if you wanted to ask them…?”
She’d run it past her boyfriend, and Țepeș had said he’d ask Hank. Hank, apparently, was the guy who ran the bike shop where they’d all met and first formed their group, and two nights later, you’d got a text in all caps from Adi saying ‘BASIC BIKER 101 FOR WRITERS IS ON!!!! When are you next free?!!!’
A week later, you and your messenger bag with notebook and pens had shown up outside Full Moon Motorcycles, with little clue what to expect, and a heart full of trepidation.
Adrianne giggled as she ushered you inside, and to your relief, you found there were only two other people inside instead of a shop full of strangers. An array of bikes for sale was lined up around the right hand side of the space, and against the back wall there was a wooden counter almost like a bar, where the vintage till and a few key chains were displayed, while the left side of the space appeared to be a more general spot for tinkering and hanging out. Even with the light flooding in through the two huge, picture windows on either side of the door, the lighting was soft, and the polished concrete floor created a mellow atmosphere. The scent of coffee and motor oil hung heavy in the air, and you found it oddly comforting as you soaked it all up.  
Behind the counter, a stocky man with greying, wavy hair that wasn’t quite long enough to tie back but was too long to look tidy smiled you and raised a meaty hand. His blue tartan shirt stretched precariously over a hearty paunch, and he exuded a jovial kind of warmth as his honey-brown eyes crinkled. “Hey there,” he said. “I’m Hank, though most people round here just call me Dad —”
“— he adopts literally everyone who walks through that door, so congrats on joining the family,” Adi laughed.
“Take your pick on names,” Hank chortled. “I understand you’re a writer…” He seemed interested and a little impressed, which was a bit of a confidence boost.
“Yeah,” you croaked and cleared your throat. “Yeah… uh… thank you for letting me hang out here for a bit. I don’t know anything about bikes… I’m just looking to learn a bit so it makes sense for my novel, you know? I’m not going to get in anyone’s way.”
“Oh, you’re fine,” he smiled, gesturing dismissively with his massive paw of a hand. “You just ask what you like and we’ll do our best to help you out. You must know Țepeș already if you’re Adi’s friend?”
You shook your head and Hank looked across the room to where the other person was lurking at the back of the space. You hadn’t noticed Adi leaving your side, but when you turned around, you found her standing with both hands pressed fondly against the chest of the tall, imposing biker dressed all in black and wearing his helmet too, which you thought was an odd choice. But what did you know about the habits of bikers? You were there to learn after all; learn and observe.
Adi waved you over, and you swallowed your nerves and cast Hank a farewell glance before approaching. When Adi stepped back, Țepeș pushed himself off the wall and held out his hand to you to shake. It, like the rest of him, was covered in leather or padded gear. There wasn’t a scrap of skin showing on him anywhere, and with your own face reflected in his black visor, it was impossible to get a read on him.
As if she’d read your mind, Adi smacked Țepeș in the chest with the back of her hand and said, “At least put your visor up, you big, intimidating doofus.”
He snorted a silent laugh and lifted the catch on his visor to reveal a sliver of pale skin and irises as black as the rest of his leather gear. Like Hank’s though, his eyes were kindly, and he closed them briefly as he inclined his head in a kind of apologetic bow. You shrugged, and he laughed breathily.
Hank chose that moment to come over, and you jumped as he clapped you on the shoulders. How a man built like a grizzly in autumn had moved so quietly was a mystery. “Come on, Țepeș, why don’t we give our new friend a demonstration of how a bike works? Since your Ducati is in, why don’t we use that?”
Țepeș gave a quick nod, and ducked away through the door that stood in the centre of the back wall, and a moment later, he pushed an absolute monster of a bike out into the empty space. He jutted his chin towards the front door, and Adi nipped over to open it for him, and when you frowned, she laughed. “That Streetfighter is so fucking loud,” she snorted. “You do not want him starting it up in here.”
“And nor do I!” Hank called, now mysteriously back behind the till though you hadn’t heard him leave. You made a mental note to weave something like that into your story for the supernatural biker characters, and then nodded, feeling sheepish, and followed the two of them out of the shop and onto the quiet side-street outside.
Until six months ago, Adi hadn’t known anything about bikes either, so she used your introductory tutorial as a kind of test for herself, interspersed with little glances up at Țepeș to check that she’d got it right. He either nodded or pointed to correct her, but he didn’t speak. She hadn’t been kidding about him being mostly non-verbal.
After Adi had shown you the basics of the bike’s anatomy, Țepeș patted the seat of the bike and gestured to her to get on it, but she laughed and shook her head. “No way, babe. I’m way too short.”
He put his fists comically on his hips and shook his head, then patted the seat again like he was trying to get a wilful cat up onto a chair.
She made a noise of protest, but did swing a leg over and then hoisted herself evenly into the seat, both legs dangling freely a good way off the ground.
“Happy now?” she shot at him and he nodded emphatically, bringing both hands to the sides of his helmet in a way that mimicked a person losing their mind over a cute kitten. “You’re lucky I love you, you overgrown dork,” she muttered. “Anyway,” she said, turning back to you. “Since this beast has made me get up here, I’m going to start his bike. Not so funny now that I could actually fuck it up, is it?” she grinned.
Țepeș remained perfectly still, and you got the impression it was a comical warning.
“I can’t flat-foot it,” she said to you, “So I’m gonna rest my left foot on the curb after I’ve flicked the kickstand up,” she said. “You can start it with the kickstand down, but if you put it into first, it'll cut out.”
You noted that down, and let her get on with the rest of the sequence uninterrupted, which seemed a lot more complicated than you’d imagined.
Near the end of your tutorial on how to start a bike and the basics of clutch control, and the apparent struggle to find neutral, the sound of a number of approaching engines tore through the quiet afternoon. You looked back over your shoulder to see three sports bikes round the corner and make their way towards you.
The three riders couldn’t have been more different. The one you noticed first was riding a big, brash, bright orange bike that reminded you a bit of a sporty looking dirt bike, and he was wearing, of all things, a black and white cow onesie, with a cow helmet cover complete with fabric horns and ears.
“Fucking Pumpkin,” Adi laughed. “Honestly. I think you’ll love him.”
“Pumpkin?” you asked, wondering how on earth he’d got that name. Then again, Țepeș was a pretty unusual nickname. Perhaps he was a vampire under all that leather, shielding himself from the fury of the sun with his biker gear just so he could spend more time with his human lover during the day… You yanked your over-active imagination back into the present and out of your fantasy novel, and watched the trio of bikers approach down the quiet side street.
“Yeah, Pumpkin’s his name. It’s because he’s a —” Țepeș elbowed Adi in the ribs sharply enough that she had to grab the handlebars to stop herself toppling off his bike. Her eyes went wide and she instantly clicked her jaw shut.
As an author, you were used to watching and studying people, and noting your observations for later. Another writer you knew online had called it ‘cataloguing the everyday’, and it was an apt description. Adi had very nearly given away something huge about Pumpkin, and Țepeș had given her a silent but stern warning.
“Because he loves pranks, like on Halloween?” she finished a little too quickly. “He dresses up with silly helmet covers all the time and he likes to play jokes on people.”
Maybe he wasn’t your kind of person at all. The very idea of having a practical joke pulled on you was enough to make you feel sick and shaky all over. You'd always hated them, and they’d always left you feeling devastated and on-edge if they happened to you. The more you trusted the person, the worse it felt afterwards.
Țepeș’ huge hand landed carefully on your shoulder joint and you looked up to find him smiling reassuringly at you. At least, you thought he was smiling reassuringly. All you could see were his glinting black eyes that were creased at the corners, and the way the apples of his pale cheeks were slightly more squished than usual behind the padding in his helmet.
You tried out a smile of your own, and then realised that Adi was talking again.
“He’s such a goofball, but that’s got to be his craziest outfit yet! You should see his other helmet covers; they’re all bonkers. My favourite is the pink rabbit one.”
Țepeș nodded once in agreement and let go of your shoulder. You swayed a little at the loss, feeling untethered.
“The guy on the red Ducati is Demon, and the short one on the Ninja in the middle is Pickle.”
When the newcomers spotted the three of you standing around Țepeș’ bike, Pumpkin revved raucously, almost seeming to make his bike laugh with joy at the sight of you. Then he hauled it up into a massive wheelie, only dropping back down once he’d torn past you in a near-vertical pose. Your heart was in your mouth the whole time, but he looked relaxed and even amused behind that absurd costume as he landed it and swerved the bike around to make his way back towards you while the other two came over in a more sedate fashion. In fact, they were so sedate it reminded you of two sharks approaching, and your mouth went dry. Adi had said they were cool with you being there and asking questions, but just then, it didn’t really feel like it.
The one riding the lurid, neon green bike was so short that you wondered for a crazy second if maybe they were a child. The owner of the red bike revved his something wicked as he cruised to a stop, and you had to fight the urge to step back. It felt like being roared at full in the face by a lion, and it didn’t help at all that the guy had curling ram’s horns adorning his black helmet. Even though it was a nippy autumn day, he was wearing a white t-shirt that showed off a golden tan and a truly impressive physique, and his black jeans had a rip in the knee that added to his tough-guy appearance.
Standing beside his own bike, Țepeș folded his arms and jutted his chin in a warning. Demon revved his deafening bike once more though, and the back wheel skimmed from side to side on the tarmac as blue smoke churned up into the air.
Țepeș shook his head and a few seconds later, Demon stopped his mini burnout, and instead leaned forwards on the bike, resting one arm casually on the tank. His whole attention was fixed on you and you tried hard not to regret all of this. It was research. You were here for your story. It was fine. His visor was tinted like Țepeș’ was, but you could feel the intensity of his gaze through the plastic just as clearly as if there had been nothing blocking his eyes from yours.
“Just giving a welcome to your new friend, Țepeș,” the guy purred in a silky baritone that made you think of teeth in the dark.
As the brief puff of acrid smoke from his tyres cleared, the short rider flipped their visor up and regarded you with beady, golden eyes that had to be contacts, surely? Even the pupils were slitted like a cat’s. 
“Who’s this?” came a reedy, tenor voice from under the helmet. Definitely not a child after all, and their skin had a strange, greenish tinge to it that you initially took to be makeup until you realised it went all the way down their cheeks as well. Tattoos? Some kind of condition? You tried not to stare.
Before either you or Adi could respond to their question, the cow onesie rider screeched to a comical halt beside the other two, locking up the front wheel and making the rear of his bike kick up like a bronco, and Adi shook her head. “Pumpkin, honestly. What are you like?”
“I’m Legen-dairy!” he grinned, gesturing wide with both hands. “Oh, hey! New friend?!” he exclaimed, waving enthusiastically when he saw you standing awkwardly beside Țepeș’ bike. He had a lilting Irish accent and a playful intonation that warmed you to him immediately, despite knowing about his penchant for practical jokes.
“Don’t mind Pumpkin,” Adi smiled at you. “He’s… something else.”
“I’m highly a-moo-sing, is what I am,” the guy chuckled. His words sounded clearer than the others behind their helmets, and you wondered if it was something about the design that made it easier to hear him.
“Oh god, please stop with the cow puns,” Pickle groaned, casting him a withering look with those unusual eyes.
“But Pickle, I’m udderly fantastic!”
“Stop.”
“This is just plain bull-ying!” Pumpkin whined, and then he started to bop up and down on his bike as he sang, “My milkshake brings—”
“If you howl one more out of tune word, Demon will eat you for breakfast, and not in a fun way,” Pickle said, casting a glance at the biker with the horns on his helmet.
For answer, the biker in question cocked his head just a little to one side, and Pumpkin slumped in his seat, arms and legs dangling comically, head lolling forwards so that the soft horns on his helmet cover flopped. He let out a long, sad mooing noise sound that dissolved into giggles at the end, and Pickle punched him on the arm.
“Loser,” Pickle snorted with obvious fondness.
“Anyway, I want you to meet my friend,” Adi cut in, turning to you. “I’m sorry you had to meet Pumpkin when he’s in this mood, but —”
“Moo-d!” Pumpkin interrupted triumphantly and immediately burst out laughing. He almost tipped backwards off his big, orange bike. Even you managed to crack a shy smile at that one. It was infectious.
“I give up,” Pickle said, and hopped down off his green Kawasaki, disappearing into the shop without a backward glance just as Hank stepped out.
“How’s that lesson going?” he asked you.
“I’m not planning on riding solo any time soon,” you smiled, “But I’ve got enough of an idea of how things work to start writing, I think.”
Hank nodded and, glancing around at Pumpkin who was still bouncing up and down and making his suspension creak a little, said, “Ah, they’re all idiots, but they’re kind, and they’re my idiots.”
He introduced you by name, and told Pumpkin and Demon why you were there. Pumpkin seemed intrigued, tilting his head to one side and calming his crazy energy a little as he regarded you through the tinted visor, but Demon growled softly as he pushed himself upright again and folded his arms across his ripped chest, muttering something about letting their guard down again.
Țepeș moved away from his bike, petting the back of Adi’s blonde head in a fond, distracted gesture, and then signalled for Demon to follow him inside, which, to your surprise, the big guy did. He walked like a Greek god — like he owned the place and not Hank — but it was clear that he had respect for Țepeș.
Pumpkin took advantage of their absence and leaned a little way off his bike towards you. “So, you’re a writer? That’s pretty cool. And you’re writing a… a book? A story? About bikers?”
You nodded. “Yeah. It’s not the main focus, but it’s a big part of it.” If you hadn’t wanted to open up to Adi about it being a supernatural fantasy story, you sure as heck weren’t going to admit it to a bunch of intimidating, high-octane bikers. “It was Adi who suggested I come and learn a bit more about it all from you guys though…” you said, not wanting them to think you’d just inserted yourself into their group without invitation. Especially given Demon’s weird reaction.
“Awesome,” Pumpkin said, fist-bumping Adi then turning back to you. “You gonna ride with us? We’re all heading out in a bit so you should come too!”
“I… maybe?” you faltered. That had not been on the cards for the day, but the more you thought about it, the more your heart began to race.
“The KTM has a passenger seat,” Pumpkin said, gesturing behind him and patting his pillion seat. “You can be my backpack if you like! I promise I won’t wheelie. I’m not taking the onesie off though,” he added, mooing and shaking his head so that the fabric horns waggled comically.
His energy and enthusiasm really were infectious. He bounced up and down again like an excitable, cow-print puppy, and you bit your lip. The idea of holding onto him, of being perched on the back of his mad, orange bike, was oddly… enticing. Even with his embarrassing costume.
“Come on,” he said. “It’ll be fun! It’s only a short ride because Coco’s Honda’s playing up for some reason,” he added. “Is she here yet? I don’t see her little bumblebee…”
“Bumblebee?” you asked.
“Coco’s bike is a Honda Hornet,” Adi supplied. “She’s got these little antennae for her helmet too. It’s so cute. And no,” she added to Pumpkin. “You guys are the first.”
It didn’t take long for the rest of the day’s riders to arrive, and soon you watched a screaming pink bike roll up, with its rider wearing baby pink leathers and a pink helmet. Her name was Barbie, appropriately enough, and a few minutes later, a skinny guy in all black leathers with a black helmet bearing a decal like a maw full of teeth pulled up, alongside Coco on her black and yellow Honda Hornet that looked very much like the Transformer.
“I see why you call it Bumblebee,” you said to Adi, who was standing on the pavement with you, chatting and slipping you random bits of information about both the bikes and the bikers. The others had all gone inside, leaving you with Adi still casually sitting astride her boyfriend’s enormous, black Ducati Streetfighter outside in the sunshine, and honestly it was nice to catch your breath and let your heart rate settle again.
Pumpkin, apparently, was only a few years older than you, and he had moved to the city to get away from his family and their career expectations for him. His name was actually Callahan, or Cal, but literally everyone called him Pumpkin.
Pickle was non-binary and surprisingly a full decade older than you. They lived with their mother, who needed a bit of extra care these days, and had taken up riding only a year or so ago. Demon, Adi didn’t discuss at all, and she said little about Barbie other than that she kept herself to herself a lot and was pretty shy.
Coco came out to soak up some autumn sunshine a while later, and was one of the only bikers who actually took off her helmet. Beneath it, she had thick, wavy, chocolate brown hair and brown eyes that made you want to drown in them, and a smile so pretty it made your heart skip several beats. She gave off the kind of energy that made you feel safe and relaxed, and you let out a long, slow exhale, feeling the sun wash up over your skin.
That peace lasted until Demon stormed out of the shop, followed by Pumpkin, Țepeș, and Pickle.
“Everything ok?” Adi whispered to Țepeș when he came over and hugged her tightly from behind before passing her a spare helmet. He nodded and jerked his thumb towards his bike. “Yeah, I’m good to go. You coming?” she asked you, and you found yourself nodding before you’d even realised.
“Yes!” Pumpkin bayed in triumph and you startled, not having heard him return to his bike. “You’re mine! I claim you. You’re my backpack!”
“Like anyone else wants a human for baggage,” Demon muttered so quietly you weren’t sure you were supposed to have heard it. As he passed, he slammed his visor back down and you could have sworn that he’d had completely scarlet eyes. You wondered if you were losing your mind a little bit, or if the fantasy of your novel was beginning to bleed into the real world through your over-active imagination.  
Pumpkin practically vaulted back up onto his orange bike and he held out his hand to you. “Alright! My precious and beautiful backpack,” he said, “Hop on!”
Easier said than done, you thought, ignoring the compliment. You watched your reflection distort in his visor as he turned his head when you faltered anxiously.
“I’ll look after you, I promise. But I’m gonna rely on you to tell me if Pickle’s coming for my killswitch, ok?”
Recalling your brief lesson with Țepeș, you eyed the red switch on his right handlebar and said, “That?”
“Yeah, that. Protect it at all costs,” he giggled. “I mean, not all costs, obviously but… Actually, scratch that. It’s Ninja you wanna watch out for. He’s a sneaky, sneaky boy. He blends in so no one sees him coming…” A few of them laughed in a way that made you feel like there was more to it than just an inside joke, and your stomach churned.
A glance back at the skinny guy on the black bike behind you revealed Ninja tilting his hands outwards in a ‘who, me?’ kind of gesture. Hank came over and gave you a helmet, taking your messenger bag from you and promising to keep it safe behind the counter. You slid the helmet on and buckled it up, trying not to feel like an impostor.
Getting aboard wasn’t as hard as you’d thought it was going to be, with brief instruction from Adi and Pumpkin on how to put your feet on the pegs, though you did clunk your helmet against Pumpkin’s when you leaned too far forward, but he made things easier by telling you to hold him round the waist. He turned back over one shoulder and said, “It’s kinda forward, but I don’t mind. You’re cute and I don’t want you falling off.” He had such a lovely voice — warm and rich and reassuring — and you found yourself laughing softly.
“If you say so.”
Pumpkin talked a mile a minute and you really had to work to process everything he was saying as it tumbled out of him in a wild, happy torrent. “You are cute! You’re gonna have a blast today. I can’t believe I’m your first! Oh, and watch out for silly string too. I don’t think Pickle has any in their pocket today, but last time they got me good and it was all over my helmet and my orange baby,” he added petting the tank of his bike.
Your heart lurched at the idea of these pranks maybe escalating, and you tried to swallow down the nausea; you did not want to be sick in a motorcycle helmet. The cold sweat took a while to evaporate and you were sure Pumpkin would feel your heartbeat as you clung onto him before he’d even started the bike. The cow onesie did add a little levity though, and you tried not to feel too silly.
When Adi was safely aboard Țepeș’ bike, Țepeș revved his readiness a few times from the rear of the group, and Pumpkin nodded. “Forward!” he yelled, pointing like he was leading a cavalry charge as he nudged up his kickstand and prepared to draw away.
Adi had been right.
The ride was amazing.
Terrifying, exhilarating, wonderful, and, in the strangest way possible, it made you forget everything.
All you could focus on was the way Pumpkin moved with the bike like it was a part of him — almost like a rider and his horse — and on trying to move with him as he leaned into the corners. He was slim and fit beneath your grip, and he didn’t seem to be wearing any kind of padding under the onesie, but he was wearing biker boots instead of ordinary shoes. There was something alluring about the fact you’d not seen his face and he’d not taken his helmet off. Țepeș had a similar vibe, but it was Pumpkin and his wild, silly energy you found yourself drawn to. It was almost euphoric to be able to press the front of your body against this kind, funny stranger’s back and let him sweep you along the roads.
Of course, there were shenanigans at the first red light you came to.
Pickle came for Pumpkin’s killswitch immediately — almost like they were testing you — but you tapped Pumpkin on the shoulder when you saw Pickle stalking up the line of bikes. Ninja covered his killswitch and waggled a finger at Pickle, and when Pumpkin saw who was coming, he patted your thigh a few times. “Nice one,” he said with a grin evident in his voice. “Best early warning system and best backpack ever! You can ride with me every time!”
You glowed with pride, even though you knew it was probably only fun and games, and when Pickle failed to catch Pumpkin’s killswitch and the lights changed, you laughed with the rest of them as Pickle bolted back to their Ninja and hopped comically onto it at the very last second while Pumpkin sped away fast enough to make you yelp and grip him hard around the middle. You felt him laugh and held him tighter.
He petted your hands where they were laced securely in front of him, and even though you didn’t have comms in your helmet, you got the message: ‘I’ve got you’. You did feel safe with him despite his love of pranks, and you were literally trusting him with your life as you rode behind him.
When the ride came to an end about an hour later, and the group drew to a halt at Full Moon Motorcycles again, you were shaky with the aftereffects of adrenaline and from simply holding on, but beneath your helmet, you were grinning wildly. Secretly, you already couldn’t wait for the next ride and prayed he would ask you again.
Pickle pulled their bike up on your right, the green Ninja 400 idling gently, and when they killswitched Pumpkin’s bike at last, Pumpkin guffawed, but without missing a beat he extended his right leg and tapped the gear lever down to put Pickle’s bike into first, making the bike stall and lurch forwards.
“Gotcha!” he crowed, and then helped you off the back by letting you steady yourself on his shoulders. “And for the pièce de résistance,” he said, fishing in the pouch of his onesie, and he turned something cylindrical in your direction. “I was saving this for Pickle, but since it’s your first ride, you deserve a decent celebration!”
With a loud bang and a flurry of coloured squares of paper, a confetti cannon went off in your face and you screeched in shock, tripping over your heels and landing hard on the pavement behind you. The pieces of paper fluttered down around you while panic and fear and everything you hated about being pranked exploded out of you. Your heartbeat went through the roof. You just glimpsed the horns of Demon’s helmet in the doorway to the shop, and your heart dropped when you saw he was laughing.
Pumpkin was laughing too, and pointing, and beside him Pickle clapped their gloved hands and crooned, “Oh man, he got you good!”
He had got you good, and you hated it.
You hated that it was just a silly, harmless prank, but you were reacting like he’d done something serious. You hated that you couldn’t just laugh it off the way they all did. You hated that you took it so seriously; that it felt like the worst kind of betrayal of that fragile trust you’d started to put in a stranger. And then, behind the visor of your helmet, the tears began to flow uncontrollably.
A huge figure appeared in your blurred vision and you looked up to find Țepeș kneeling down beside you. He blocked the others from your sight with his massive body, and he lifted his visor to show his black eyes full of concern.
You nodded, trying to pull yourself together and grateful beyond belief that the helmet was still covering your face, even though it felt like you were running out of oxygen in there. Pulling yourself together was like trying to hold a bag full of sand with fraying seams. You were seeping and spilling out all over the place and you couldn’t stop. You tried to tell yourself it was just a confetti cannon. You tried to tell yourself it was just a bit of fun.
You tried, and failed.
“I’m… I’m ok… I’m…” you gulped, aware of how choked your voice sounded.
Țepeș stood and held out a hand, pulling you to your feet and ushering you carefully inside. You didn’t miss the way he put himself between you and Demon, who was still snickering in the doorway, and you let him lead you into the shop and into the back room.
He snagged a box of tissues from under the shop’s counter in passing and guided you into a chair. He signalled for you to undo your helmet, which you did with shaking fingers. “I’m sorry,” you gulped as you drew it off over your head and set it on the floor. “I’m sorry I’m overreacting.”
Țepeș shook his head and squeezed your shoulder, offering you a tissue.
“It’s just a prank, I know that, but…”
Again, he squeezed your shoulder, and you took a deeper, steadier breath.
“I hate pranks. Even the harmless ones. I always overreact like this. I’m sorry. It’s not his fault, but… I thought… I thought maybe he… he wouldn’t…”
A knock on the door made you jump, and Țepeș made a ‘stay there’ gesture with his hand and ducked out of the room. A short, seemingly one-sided conversation passed outside while you fought to control yourself again, and then Pumpkin ducked inside.
“Hey,” he said, and your heart broke a little at the change in his energy. It was like he’d completely deflated. He was still wearing the cow onesie though, which brought a slightly hysterical chuckle to your lips before you could stop it. “I’m so sorry,” he said, dropping to one knee in front of your chair. “I… I didn’t think you’d react like that.”
“It’s not you,” you said, sniffling and turning away, cuffing at your eyes. “I just overreacted.”
“You didn’t overreact,” he said, and your brain screeched to a halt.
“What?”
“I shouldn’t have done it to you. I didn’t know if you were cool with it, and I just assumed that… that because everyone else likes my pranks… that you’d be ok with it too, and I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never ever pull anything like that on you again. Ever.” He crossed his thumb across his heart. “I swear on my True Name.”
The wording was odd, but the air seemed to crystallise around you for a second, and your breath caught. “Like a Fae,” you mumbled without thinking.
He tilted his helmeted head a little. “Yeah,” he said and his voice had an odd ring to it. “You… You know about… about the Fae?”
“I’m writing a book…” you croaked, not really thinking about what you were saying. “Supernatural theme… I’ve always written fantasy stuff… Look, I’m sorry. I’m over-sharing about stuff that isn’t even real. I’m good,” you said, and stood up abruptly, setting your borrowed helmet down on the chair and turning to look at him. He was on his feet again, but he was just standing there.
You walked out into the main shop but he called your name and you halted and turned back around. “Yeah?”
“Are… Are you gonna come back?”
You bit your lip. You probably had enough to write the book now — the biker part of it wasn’t even the main focus after all — but until the prank, you’d felt included and welcomed, and, as you thought about it, the prank had also been meant to welcome you into the fold. It wasn’t Pumpkin’s fault that you had reacted the way you did.
“You want me to?” you asked.
“Please,” he said. “Please, I’d love it. I’ve… I’ve never had anyone I’ve wanted to be my backpack before, and you rode like a natural today,” he added, taking a step towards you. “Please. I promise no one will do any pranks when you’re with us. No silly string, no confetti cannons.”
“I don’t mind it… With the others, I mean,” you said, the words grinding out of you like a boulder uphill. “I mean… So long as it’s not me.”
“Ok, we’ll dial it back,” he compromised. “I’ll even give you one of my little stretchy sticky hands if you like so you can team up on Pickle with me. We duel at the lights sometimes. Does that count as a prank?”
You shook your head, fighting back a resurgence of emotions, mostly good this time.
“Ok. I’m really sorry,” he said again.
“I believe you,” you said.
“Thank you,” Pumpkin replied, his whole body looking relieved. It was amazing how expressive someone could be, even without being able to see their face. “Let me give you my number and I’ll text you when we’re going out next. Or… Or maybe we could go out just the two of us?”
That seemed like way more pressure than you’d been expecting, but you nodded all the same when you realised you weren’t put off by it at all.
As you left the shop not long afterwards, having recovered enough to let the red fade from your eyes, Demon looked you up and down and then approached Pumpkin. You glanced back over your shoulder to see him looming down over Pumpkin, and you just caught him growling, “What happens when you need to take that helmet off eh, Dullahan? You think that cute accent is going to be enough to hide the fact you don’t have a fucking head under there?”
Your breath caught and you tripped, turning away before either of them could notice your reaction.
For a moment, when Demon had spat the word ‘Dullahan’ you’d thought he’d said ‘Callahan’ — Pumpkin’s real name — but the instant he’d said Pumpkin didn’t have a head, your mind made the connection.
Dullahan.
A Fae without a head, traditionally a headless horseman.
The way Pumpkin had moved with his bike, like it was a living creature, had reminded you of a horse and its rider, and you had to wonder if the nickname ‘Pumpkin’ had come from the cartoonish depictions of Dullahans on Halloween with a pumpkin for a head instead of their real one. They did have a head, you knew from research for your writing, but they tended to keep it hidden since that was where their power resided. They could only be harmed if you hurt their head, or if they were wearing it when you attacked them.
But that was all fantasy, right?
Then Demon’s red eyes flickered across your memory, and the weird emphasis he’d put on the word ‘human’ in his snide remarks, and the way you’d thought maybe Țepeș was a vampire because he kept his skin covered up, and the fact that Pickle’s skin was entirely green and they had gold eyes with cat’s pupils… it was all way too much of a coincidence. Right?
You walked home in a daze, not even saying goodbye to Adi who was talking quietly with Țepeș in the long, late afternoon shadows cast by the bike shop’s wall.
Over the next few rides with Pumpkin, you tried to figure out a way to broach the topic. If you just blurted it out, you had no idea how the others would react, so you dropped little hints to Pumpkin that you were writing a supernatural story and that you’d been researching the supernatural for a while, and how you’d always hoped there was more out there than met the eye. You even mentioned it a couple of times on group rides to see how the others reacted, and predictably, it was Demon who bristled, and Pumpkin who looked uncomfortable. Like he had a secret he wanted to tell you.
Each time you did it, he looked torn, like he was right on the cusp of telling you the truth.
It finally came to an ugly head one afternoon as the riding season drew to a close in late October and you all came back from a huge group ride that had included a few more riders whom you’d not met before, but who evidently knew the rest of the group.
As you went inside to return the helmet that Hank always lent you, you caught the sound of an argument and hung back in the small storage room behind the main shop to avoid it, heart in your throat and the helmet forgotten in one hand.
Pickle was standing in the main area of the shop with their helmet dangling from their hand this time, and you gasped when you saw sharply-tapered ears and a row of pointed teeth in their mouth, and green skin that went all the way down below their collar. Definitely not a tattoo. They looked sharp, their features inhuman; like one of the goblins in your novel. If you’d needed confirmation that they weren’t human, this had to be it.
Pickle was  arguing with Adi and Demon, and Pumpkin was there too, looking helplessly from one to the other of them.
Demon was shouting, and he didn’t have his helmet on either. Perhaps they’d thought you’d already left. The horns that adorned his helmet were… actually attached to his head, not his helmet. He had horns. They obviously grew from his hairline, his black hair waving around them like a river of oil that had a rainbow sheen on it, and his eyes were a luminous, blood-red with slit pupils too. He rounded on Pumpkin like a Wolf on a rabbit. “You think just because we let Țepeș’ little human blood-bag in, we can risk exposing us all to just anyone?” Demon snarled. “I thought you wanted to keep our kind a secret? Now you’re siding with him?”
“Hey!” Adi exclaimed, but Pickle’s lip curled and they turned to her.
“He has got a point, Adi, though the blood-bag comment was way out of line,” Pickle said. “We have to be careful, but —”
“This is different,” Pumpkin interjected. “Ok? I’ve never been in love before, and I love —”
“No. It’s not fucking ok! This is the one place we get to be who we are,” Demon countered, his deep voice cracking as he clearly fought off tears. He sounded afraid and upset in a way that went right to your heart. “This is the one place where we can be safe, Cal, and you’re jeopardising it for all of us. And if we start letting humans in, if our secret gets out —”
“I think it’s a little late for that,” Pickle said faintly, staring straight at you watching the argument unfold, stunned. They were arguing because of you. Because Pumpkin had taken a liking to you — in fact, he’d just said he loved you…
A pair of gold eyes and a pair of scarlet eyes stared at you, while Adi stood there hugging herself and looking hurt and unsure, and Pumpkin was standing stock still with his black helmet still on but you knew he was looking at you too. Was he going to defend you, or discard you and stick with his friends? They weren’t human. None of them was human. Demon’s eyes were blaring a violent red and he had horns growing out of his black hairline and curling back over his head, and there was a watercolour patch of red creeping over his golden tan as if he was losing control of his form. And Pickle was apparently some kind of goblin?
“You’re a Dullahan,” you said quietly, looking at Pumpkin. “A Fae.”
“You know?” Demon hissed, taking half a step towards you. “How the fuck do you know?” and then he shoved Pumpkin back with a hand at each shoulder. “You’ve taken your helmet off already? Did you disclose your head’s location while you were at it?”
Pumpkin shook his head vehemently but then he lifted his shiny, black helmet off in what looked like an act of defiance to Demon.
In the void where his head should have been there was a swirl of bluish-green smoke emanating from the stump of his neck, like the aurora in the night sky, and his skin was a dark, slate-blue colour. Your mind struggled to accept what you were seeing, but with the additional evidence of Pickle’s green skin and Demon’s horns, you knew it all had to be true.
Walking closer, as if moving through a dream, you ignored Demon’s constant, caged-animal growl, but you did jump when the door flew open and Țepeș burst in. He strode straight over to Adi and wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders, tugging her close and putting himself between her and the others. He cocked his head in an impatiently curious manner and Adi answered his silent demand.
“Demon’s laying into Pumpkin about flirting with a human while hiding what he is,” Adrianne said, glaring flatly at Demon. “And he called me your blood-bag,” she added.
Țepeș’ fists curled, leather creaking, and he took a long, slow inhale, as though he was trying very hard not to lose control and launch himself at Demon.
Before anything else could happen, someone clapped their hands abruptly from the side of the shop where the till and the bikes were arrayed, and you all jumped.
Hank was standing there and his eyes were glowing golden. “This family is built on trust,” he said in a low, gravelly bass, and you saw that his canines were chunkier and longer than they usually were, and his hair seemed thicker and fuller, his beard a little bushier around the chops. “And if we welcome each other into it, we must be prepared to trust each other’s judgement.”
“We’re just a little research project!” Demon said, rounding on you. “Adi told you what we are, didn’t she, so you thought you’d come and study us like a science experiment?”
You were still staring at Pumpkin’s empty collar and wondering in an odd, detached kind of way where it would be considered polite for you to look now — did you look at the point where his eyes would be if he had a head, or did you look at his chest? Only a second or two later did Demon’s words filter through and you blinked. “What?”
“You’re writing a fucking book about us! How does that count as trustworthy?”
“I’m not — It’s not about you,” you shot back. “The book isn’t about you. The protagonist is dating a vampire who’s in a biker gang, but… Adi didn’t tell me anything at all about you. I didn’t know you weren’t human until… until I overheard you accusing Pumpkin a few weeks ago. You said something about not having a head under his helmet, and you called him a Dullahan.” You swallowed thickly and watched the shock filter through everyone’s expressions at your words. “At first I thought you were saying his name, but then I realised you said ‘Dullahan’, not ‘Callahan’, and because I’ve looked into supernatural stuff, I put two and two together. I’ve known for weeks,” you said, chest heaving as you fought to maintain some semblance of composure while you finished your defence. “I could have said something, or I could have just not come back, but I trusted you guys.” Tears finally blurred your vision. “You treated me like family. Why would I betray you?”
Pumpkin moved first.
He strode across he space, dropping his helmet on the floor with a loud crack that would have made anyone who needed a helmet to protect their head wince, but you figured his was purely for decoration and disguise anyway. He wrapped you up in his arms and pulled you close to his body. His arms almost lifted you off the ground and he cradled your head in one hand while his left arm curled around your waist and squeezed you so tight you gave a little wheeze.
His voice came from nowhere in particular, just like it did when he had the helmet on, and he said, “You are family. And I love you. If I have to leave this one to be with you, I will.”
Your heart stopped for a moment before you hugged him back, desperately. “Don’t. Not for me.”
He only hugged you harder.
From somewhere off to your left, Hank gave a low, rumbling growl and then muttered, “Kids. Honestly.” Then a little louder, he said, “Demon, go and cool off somewhere. Țepeș, for God’s sake, stand down, and Pickle, go and put the fucking kettle on. I need a cup of tea with half a bottle of whisky in it after all this drama.”
Pumpkin drew back at last, and you looked up at the haze of blue-green smoke that seemed to swirl upwards in a constant stream, like a recently extinguished candle. “How can you see me?” you asked. And then, with a little more alarm in your tone, you yelped, “Wait, how can you see where you’re driving?”
He laughed and leaned in close enough that the aurora-light swirled across your vision and caressed your face with a feather light breath, and you shivered. “Magic,” he whispered.
Demon hadn’t gone anywhere, and was regarding you with a more level gaze. His eyes were still red though. “You knew?” he said. “All this time?”
“Yeah,” you croaked as you refocused your eyes from the magic of the Dullahan’s body to Demon’s very much corporeal body. “I mean, I suspected.”
He sighed, still staring you down. Pumpkin stepped a little in front of you, much as Țepeș had for Adi, but Demon shook his head. He worked his jaw for a second and then slowly held out his right hand. His skin was red instead of the golden tan it had been, and his nails were black and claw-like, but the gesture was one of reconciliation all the same. “Welcome to the family, I guess,” he muttered hoarsely.
You smiled faintly, and Pumpkin took your left hand in a show of solidarity, sliding his gloved fingers around yours while you briefly shook Demon’s hand. “I really didn’t know what you guys were when you said I could come and hang out with you, I swear.”
“I know,” Demon bit out. “I can taste a lie, and you’re telling the truth.”
With that, he stalked away and carefully slotted his helmet on over his horns. You realised that there were specially-tailored holes in the crown of it for the horns to fit through, but when it was on, some kind of glamour made it look like the horns were just attached to the surface of the helmet. Outside, he swung a leg over his Ducati and started it up, revving it and launching away amid a scream of tyres and over-worked engine.
“Give him time,” Pumpkin said as he looked down at you. In the swirl of the smoke at his neck you thought you could make out the features of a face for a moment, but you blinked and it vanished. “You’re family now though, so he won’t give you any more trouble.”
“He did just insult Adi pretty spectacularly,” you pointed out.
“And he’ll apologise to her,” Pumpkin said. Țepeș loomed threateningly beside Adi in silent agreement. “For now, you want to come for a ride with just me? Come back to my place maybe?”
You nodded. “Yeah.”
“Bet you have questions too…”
“You going to fact-check my novel for me?” you asked with a playful smile, and Pumpkin laughed. It felt right to hear his loud, giggly laughter filling the space again.
“You’d actually have to let me read it for that, love, and you said you didn’t like showing your work to anyone until it was done.”
“I could make an exception for you, I guess,” you admitted with a bashful smile.
With Pumpkin still holding your hand, you paused on your way out to check on Adi, who looked a little hurt but otherwise alright, and you promised to check in with her later. Țepeș handed Pumpkin his helmet, and you let yourself be led from the shop. Your helmet was still in your slightly numb fingers, never having put it down, so you slid it back on with shaky hands.
After climbing with familiar ease back up onto the pillion seat of Pumpkin’s orange KTM, you snaked your arms around his middle and squeezed.
“I’m sorry it all came out this way,” Pumpkin said before he started up his bike. “This was not how I planned to tell you. I had no idea how I was going to break it to you, but that… that wasn’t it. I know you hate surprises, and that was a big one.”
“Not all surprises are bad,” you admitted. “And this one turned out ok in the end. Come on. I want to find out how much I’ve got wrong about the Fae.”
Pumpkin guffawed, his laughter audible even after he’d started up his bike and pulled away.
Turns out, you’d quite a lot wrong about the Fae after all, but Pumpkin was only too happy to put you right over pizza and a movie on his sofa that evening.
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I really hope you folks enjoyed this one. If you did, please consider reblogging to show your support as well as leaving a like and/or a comment.
Do you want to see the other members of the group? Remember you can find out more about them here in this early post if you're curious. Tepes already has a love interest, and Ninja the mimic is claimed too, but if you're curious, lemme know!
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slowcatsisland · 6 days ago
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Love your thoughts on Zoro 💯😍. How about dating & sexuality of Sanji? Is this pervert maybe still a virgin? 😅 I love this boy. 🐻
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Black Leg Sanji; Ability to Date, Sexuality, & Trauma Responses (ft. Kamabakka Kingdom & Germa 66)
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Oooh I was waiting for this one!!
As always, this is my interpretation of Sanji’s character so take my opinion with a grain of salt lol
We’ll discuss Sanji’s trauma and how this makes him view men and women, my take on his sexuality, if him having a partner is plausible within the canon right now, and his most popular ships.
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I’ve always thought about how his interactions with women and men in the show almost always have the same tone
Ykwim? He is always treating the ladies kindly, offering them warmth, food, protection, and a smile.
He always treats the men harshly, always being curt with them, acting disinterested and annoyed at what they say with his teeth bared.
And I don’t really know how aware Sanji is to his initial behavior and how much they vary between man and woman.
Do you ever just instinctively get annoyed when that one person tries to talk to you? No matter what they say bitterness seeps out of your tone when you respond to them and you can’t help but ridicule whatever they said regardless if it needs any scrutinizing or not?
And it’s not like you’re doing on purpose, it just flows through your body like rain.
That’s what I think Sanji feels towards men whenever he interacts with them.
He only ever doesn’t really act standoff ish to Usopp and sometimes Luffy.
This all stems from his childhood. From the beatings he took from his brothers, from the snare in their smiles as they spoke the most hurtful things to him when he couldn’t do anything to defend himself. From the way Judge- from the way adults(adult men/the soldiers of germa 66) never tried to help him.
It all stems from his childhood. From the soft tones that the maids would use with him when he would visit his mother, from the gentleness of the lady cooks who let him stay in the kitchen when he asked (even though they technically couldn’t refuse). From the way his sister was always the one to patch him up and how she never laid a hand on him. From the way his mother would praise him just for being kind and would stroke his hair so lightly.
This bias that Sanji developed is so deeply ingrained in him.
••
This bias leads me to my next section, what’s Sanji’s sexuality?
I really think he’s bi. But it’s complicated.
He rejects key parts of himself all the time.
He rejects his natural femininity - always wearing a traditional masculine suit, always smoking a cigarette, having a rumbly, more manly voice (TRUST i believe his voice is actually a lot higher pitched but the cigarettes and his own training to get rid of his French accent dulls it down- IN FRENCH HE SPEAKS HIGH PITCHED AHHHH)
He rejects his need for outside help to cope with his trauma - he has not once that I truly remember outside of Onigashima against his ‘battle’ with Black Maria has ever asked for help. He tries to handle things on his own not to burden those he’s around no matter how much he’s hurting and needs someone.
He rejects the fondness he could potentially have for a man - the only way I could explain this is like, internalized homophobia??
I will expand more on this when I get to his Zosan ship with Zoro. But it’s also from the way he is scared of men. Because men have only ever hurt him. It’s this wall that he’s built so high he can’t grasp the concept of outwardly loving another male.
His conditions in Germa 66 changed his perception of how acceptable it would be to love a guy. Guys scare him, no guy would be accepted by Germa 66 as well. They would think that’s a joke, that one of the princes could love his own gender. It isn’t a welcoming environment for queer tendencies nor people (cough cough Sanji)
- Sanji was made from his mother’s love, and he was the only one out of his siblings made to love. He was meant to love the world, to love others, that’s who Sanji is deep down.
Sanji doesn’t really seem to like that idea, he rejects it. It’s so much easier for him to love women.
Sanji himself would probably tell you that he’s straight and only likes girls. It’s easier, it’s traditional, it’s safer. And he does like girls. He likes them sexually, he likes them physically and emotionally (ish on emotional lowkey lowkey). He also likes the idea of loving a woman. It’s ‘right’- for him to love a woman.
Yk?? He could imagine himself fighting for and protecting a woman, baking her food, snuggling with her at night, worshipping her hips in the lust filled hours of dusk.
I don’t think he could imagine all that with a man.
And that’s okay, in a way. He’s a tormented babe.
THIS IS WHY KAMABAKKA KINGDOM WAS SO IMPORTANT FOR SANJI IN MY OPINION. (GUYSSSS)
It probably wasn’t Kuma’s intention. But Sanji being exposed and exiled to a queer island for two whole years had to have healed his inner troubles in some capacity.
There aren’t social norms, no traditional role to play in Kamabakka Kingdom. It’s just..people. Unapologetic, true natured people.
It’s what a healthy society looks like- at least to me. It’s crazy how I feel like I perceive queer communities in media to be the perfect place of self acceptance because all normal social roles/gender roles/and modest constrictions are just not there? (Example: I could kiss a girl I’ve been wanting to without having that itching voice in the back of my head go ‘your friends would make fun of you for that, you’ll be looked at differently if you do that’ or ‘this doesn’t look right, it would look better if you were a guy or she were a guy’ LIKE?! There’s a line that is crossed in traditional communities that just aren’t in queer communities when it comes to expressing yourself I feel like 🧍‍♀️)
It’s so freeing to be yourself the way that you define it and I so hope that is what Sanji experienced during his time there.
He was surrounded by drag queens who fully embraced themselves. They knew they liked men, they were okay with it. They knew they liked to dress feminine, they were okay with it. They knew they were strong and could fight, they were okay with it.
Hmm I don’t think I’m really articulating how it was important to him in a -accepting yourself is healthy and you’re not disappointing anybody- way and not a -go kiss this guy that dresses as a gal you’ll love it here wear this dress so you fit in with us you secret freak- kind way
Yk??
Anyway -
I feel like he’s bisexual with a heavy lean towards women. This comes from his upbringing in Germa 66 because it changed his view on men but deep down I feel like he still has the capability of loving a man- just in different way he would love a woman.
It’ll always be a different way.
Sanji himself would tell you he’s straight.
If this were an au untraumatized Sanji, he would be regular bi without a preference imo.
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I headcanon him as still being a virgin in the One Piece story right now. There’s not much logic behind it. More of a feeling.
His trauma almost prohibits him from getting to close to a woman imo, I think he would freak out and have to back out of such an intimate act.
It would also probably have to be someone that Sanji knows well, I don’t see him hooking up with someone that is more a stranger or acquaintance than friend or loved one.
I do think that he has successfully wooed women during his time at the Baratie, but he never ended up sharing more than a few kisses with one or two of them and maybe a rare blowjob or fingering session before something happened.
I do think that sex is something he wants. I think Sanji is a character that wants to devote himself to something real that he can touch. Like a person. Though again with the whole perception thing- he couldn’t see himself being sexual with another man. And that’s okay- love comes in other forms of intimacy, we’ll talk abt this in his Zosan part soon too.
OMG a creator on this app - onlymurphy- has really good Sanji fanfics that cover his need for intimacy, how his trauma causes him to crave physical closeness, how he always strives to please/pleasure his partner, and they do a really good job at conveying the depth of his character so def check them out too if you haven’t before
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Would Sanji have a partner in the story anytime soon? Nah. But- I do think he is someone that needs or would benefit greatly from a partner.
A partner would help him through his issues. He could heal so well if he had someone there for him that loved him in a way no one else could. A way that no one else has.
He’s a hopeless romantic imo, he puts relationships on a pedestal. For him to have that for his own is something so special yk?
However I still do think that he needs to change his bias towards both men and women before he gets a partner.
••
This leads me to my next point, my preferences in Sanji’s partner.
I want him to have someone that doesn’t suit his biases so badly!! Someone that challenges him to face the fact not all people fit into his preconceived notions about them.
Ugh
Like. Have him with a masculine woman, someone who isn’t dainty, someone who doesn’t want all his sugar coated assertions of affection, praise, and admiration. Someone who doesn’t want his snacks that he made for her just because he thought she might be hungry even though everyone else on the crew I’d probably just as hungry yk?
Have him with a woman that’s a genuine fighter. Not someone who learned to fight to survive in the sense that Robin is a fighter. Someone more like Vi from Arcane that settles things with her fists. A woman that’s up front and center during the battles with the other members of the monster trio. Yk??
Have him with a woman with rough, ugly scars. Better yet, facial scars. A woman that would be unattractive by normal social standards. We both know he’ll still find her beautiful, but it’s about the fact that others won’t. That’s she’s different.
Have him with a woman that’s a little morally grey. Maybe she’s closed off and rough around the edges to everyone, even him. She kills people, she hurts people, but she’s still good. Ish. People aren’t one thing, everyone is a little bit of everything. (Idk if this one is as big of a deal as the others listed above imo he’s the type of guy to go ‘I support women’s wrongs/women do no wrongs/what murdahh?? Ykwim?)
Men
Have Sanji with a man that’s more feminine coded. Something that almost gives him flashbacks to Kamabakka Kingdom. A guy that’s just pretty, there’s no other word to describe him. He’s handsome ish yeah, but he’s not really hot or sexy even if he is-he’s mostly pretty. This guy could have feminine coded hobbies too. He doesn’t have to be a fighter, he could be more of a lover. He could be a painter- someone who sculpts and makes creations out of color and draws emotion out of a blank canvas.
Have him with a guy that’s very emotional too. Maybe more emotionally aware? He would sit Sanji down for a discussion about their relationship because he knows damn well Sanji won’t.
Maybe a guy that is deadly and masculine and all the other things that scare Sanji. But to Sanji, around Sanji, with Sanji, he’s soft. Sanji could never provoke such violence and cruelty because he can’t eve imagine doing things like that to someone like Sanji. (Zosan lowkey lowkey lowkey)
Regardless of my wish for him to fall in love with someone outside of his normal biased preference, Sanji’s partner needs to be someone gentle and kind to him. He needs someone to give him grace, give him a safe spot.
••
Okay, last bit of this post- Sanji’s popular ships. (Zoro, Usopp, Luffy, Nami, Pudding, Viola)
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Sanji x Zoro: yes, but in a specific way.
I mentioned this in my Zoro post with Zoro’s ability to date, but Zosan is something more spiritual you could say.
I don’t see it begin sexual, I don’t think they would ever have feelings for each other like that. Sorry, no Zosan kisses from over here ☝️
They have a companionship that is deep and neither of them dare think about it because they don’t know what the other thinks about it nor how it could affect the Straw Hats. They’re like two sides of the same coin. They belong to each other but in the same breath they can’t stand to let the other know that they are dependent on them.
They’re complicated but that’s how they’re supposed to be.
They’re not supposed to be traditional in any sense of the word, at least not to me.
Maybe their relationship could be something deeper if Sanji ever talked to Zoro about it, but it’s highly unlikely.
Zosan is also where Sanji’s internalized homophobia comes in to play imo. Sanji would never admit to anyone, especially not Zoro, that he might feel some type of way about him that’s not negative. It doesn’t seem right to Sanji, and he probably despises the tightness in his chest he gets around Zoro. He also probably can’t discern whether it’s from a threat or from fond feelings.
Sanji would also imo always try to take how he feels when he looks at Zoro and how he looks at a woman and tell himself that the ladder is appropriate and is actual ‘love’ (ish)
Zosan is baked in layers of angst for me too, I don’t ever see Zosan as something cutesy. It just can’t be, not with how the way they are. It can be funny, duh, but not all happy and cute. There’s always gonna be complicated and abrupt and dangerous feelings with them.
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Sanji x Usopp: I didn’t know this was a genuine ship until recently. I think they’re better as close friends.
Sanji and Usopp understand each other really well.
Sanji was always the one to back Usopp up first and it showed a lot in pretimeskip when they had more shown interactions.
Usopp knows that feeling of being weak, not enough, unworthy, of being a burden. Just like Sanji does.
So I do understand why some people shop them together, but they work better as a duo.
I might actually prefer them as a duo over Zoro and Sanji as a duo.
Usopp and Sanji is what Zosan shippers sometimes make Zosan out to be. Something cutesy and fluffy- something it’s not.
(Aka pls make fluffy Sanuso content I need-)
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Sanji x Luffy: I think they work something like Zolu works but to a lesser degree.
Luffy is Sanji’s savior in a way. He gave him the road to the All Blue. He showed him not all men will hurt you. He let Sanji be his cook and put so much love and trust into Sanji on behalf of the crew.
Which is why their fight on Whole Cake Island is so, so sad. It was their own breakup. Sanji never wanted to leave, he never wanted to hurt Luffy nor the crew, he wanted to keep them save at the expense of his own life, hands, and freedom.
Sanji’s loyalty to Luffy is tragic because it comes from a place of Sanji feeling unworthy of Luffy’s generosity too.
Ugh
I don’t see them sexually, I don’t see them romantically, all though I could see Sanji potentially like loving Luffy in a romantic way. But that specific form of love wouldn’t be reciprocated by Luffy yk? Idk it’s hard to explain.
They’re precious and they’re a true bond, but not in a traditional way.
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Sanji x Ace: hmm. I never knew this was a genuine ship either.
I mean, nothings like wrong with it
I just don’t see it yk?
They had limited interaction, even if it was good interactions.
Ace is dead..
Idk how they would feel given their relationship with Luffy, like Sanji with his captain’s older brother and Ace with his little brother’s cook.
It feels like an overstep for them to do that to Luffy?
I don’t see Sanji developing feelings, and I think Ace was being his charming usual self. lol they’re both charming guys with suave personas I just realized
So yeah, it’s a no for me. I don’t see this in a shop in any way but if they had more time maybe a duo? But their affiliations to delegate pirate crews also is a big deal so
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Sanji x Nami: quick disclaimer, I don’t ship Sanji with any women in One Piece. I don’t think Sanami works and this is mainly on Nami’s part.
Nami imo, is what Sanji’s like perfect woman is. She’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s smart, she’s a little flirty at times, she’s independent but still kinda relies on others, she’s seen the horrors of the world but didn’t let that change her, she is someone who would rather have someone else fight her battles for her.
I’m not saying Sanji doesn’t like Nami for who she is, but I think he likes the idea of her more than her and the idea of being with her more than she would actually like being with her.
But Nami just can’t reciprocate his feelings. I don’t really ship her with anyone, which does play a part in me saying this fyi. I feel like she might be asexual, or at the very least she doesn’t prioritize romance over her duties yk?
Given her childhood I think this makes sense. She’s constipated. In a way. Ykwim??
So, they don’t work for me. They’re a gag. They need to stop being a gag too especially since Oda’s rewritten Sanji’s behavior towards women as something more lustful and predatory. Sigh
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Sanji x Pudding: NO. guys. No.
They’re not for me, they never will be. Lemme explain
Pudding is a minor, Sanji is an adult.
It was a pressured situation- arranged marriage in the first place. Nothing except the last moments from when Sanji saw her third eye up until he left Whole Cake Island was organic- and all the organicness was on Pudding’s side.
Pudding is a victim of her mother and she needs to heal from that before she has a partner imo.
Pudding said awful things about Sanji in the scene when she captured Rejiu too. That broke him for a good while. And Pudding can’t change what she said despite her change in feelings.
I also think her change in feelings towards Sanji is more of a trauma response to. Because he accepts her. And no one else really does nor has. It isn’t real imo. It’s kinda like Boa’s love for Luffy, it’s just not totally right imo.
Pudding isn’t a member of the Strawhats, and I don’t see any of the Strawhats, especially not Sanji that would want to be with his lover 25/8 being in a relationship with someone that isn’t a Strawhat. Yk? It’s a breach in loyalty to the crew as well.
I actually really like Pudding’s character but I don’t think she should have a love interest. I understand her catching feelings for Sanji but I respected her a lot when she shoved them down to put her priority of stopping Big Mom’s hunger pains, her duty as the minister of chocolate, and her responsibility as one of Big Mom’s children first. Yk?
They just don’t work in my opinion, I don’t want them to work either. But they’re good character foils and they represent some of the same stuff which is really interesting to me.
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Sanji x Viola: I also didn’t realize this was a genuine ship either lol.
Idk, I just don’t feel anything about it.
I don’t think they are a serious ship or pair because of a couple things.
Sanji fell in love with her body and faux behavior first. Which is something I don’t like seeing in Sanji’s potential love interests.
Viola was using him for the majority of their time together. And no hate to her, she just didn’t have any genuine feelings and I don’t think she ever gained them either.
Viola also has a duty to her people of Dressrosa, something she fought to regain for 13 years. She wouldn’t give that up for a man, a pirate.
They have different loyalties and paths in life
I don’t think Sanji’s feelings for Viola were ever real either. He just ‘saw the good’ in her.
I also don’t think I realized how close he was to like. Running off with her? Which weirded me out when he had to make himself reflect on his actions before deciding to help his crew.
So like.
They’re mid imo. They never had a chance, nor any solid footing as a ship at all.
Not saying they weren’t a little cute for like the half day they spent together but then again, they had different wants out of that.
Sanji also was more into the idea of her imo.
Yeah.. anyway
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Sanji has more minor female love interests like sprinkled around but none of them are serious yk? They’re more to show how his perception of women is challenged throughout the One Piece world
(Cosette, Ossan mainly speaking)
I’d write a little piece for Sanji x Robin but guys, don’t be silly there’s nothing for that ship and if u ship it live ur life brother don’t let me stop you
Mwah 😽
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alicerosejensen · 2 years ago
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In short, I thought about it most of the night and made some notes on my phone.
I'm still translating part 3, but while I'm on vacation and have enough free time, I want to write headcannons.
specifically the jealous Leon. He is almost forty and his girlfriend is just over twenty. Don't get me wrong. I share moderate jealousy and excessive jealousy. For me, these are different things, so "WARNING! if you don't like reading this, just skip this post.
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You have an absolutely healthy relationship (as far as possible with Leon's psyche). You don't give him any reason to doubt your loyalty to him.
He considers himself too "old" for all these hangouts, preferring to spend time in peace and stability after a long mission, but you are a young girl who wants to have fun with friends from time to time (among which there are guys).
Leon has nothing against your entertainment and does not interfere with communication with others. Although, some selfish part of him wants you to spend more time with him, but he won't talk about it out loud.
Of course, he understands that others may like you too. You see, Leon still doesn't understand what you saw in him when you could date someone of your peers. It all started as a silly joke, and then you both wanted more from communicating with each other. And it's not just about sex.
You took care of Leon when you stayed at his place overnight, and in the morning you made breakfast with coffee, asking if you brewed it too hard. And while Leon is having breakfast, you always kiss him on the back of the head. Something that Ada or anyone else has never done.
After that, the cute attentions from you mean too much to Leon. He is a bit old-fashioned and will probably ask for official consent if you want to be in a relationship with him, despite his frequent absence and age difference.
“Do I need to sign some kind of agreement? Like, yes, I agree on all points to become your girlfriend? Signature and today's date?“ - You laugh with Leon, adjusting the shirt you stole from him in the morning when he says that he does not have such a paper and an oral agreement will be enough.
Leon will in no way publicly cover his personal life because of his work. Putting you in potential danger is not what he wants at all. Yes, he is happy to spend time with you, but if someone asks him about your relationship, he will say that there is nothing serious about it. Just a girl who agreed to spend the night with him. And only the closest (and there are almost no such people at all, so the circle narrows down to Claire, Helena and, perhaps, then Hannigan) will know about his real attitude towards you.
He also likes to take care of you. In general, he will gladly take a shower with you, soaping his head with shampoo after which he makes funny hairstyles so that he can laugh with you about it later.
He takes care of you if you have a painful period / you have a cold / just not in the mood. To show reciprocal care for a partner is a joy to him.
He won't show any signs of jealousy until you tell him that the main character of the movie/series is too gorgeous and you wouldn't mind marrying him.
Of course it's a joke. He understands it himself, but it hurt him unpleasantly.
It will never go to the point of absurdity. It's just that Leon doesn't quite like it when he accidentally sees you in correspondence with a friend discussing some cute actor/model/singer or other public personality admiring his beauty and charisma.
"Come on, he's not that good!" - in the end, he can't stand it when he's already in bed with you.
“Who?" - You ask innocently, stupidly blinking your eyes and looking straight at Leon.
“That guy from the movie. You can't do this trick in real life, it's a fucking special effect. And anyway, you don't like him, but the one he plays. I doubt he's ever held a real gun in his life.”
After that, Leon will lie down on the other side, leaving you completely perplexed.
It's stupid to be jealous of the handsome guy from the movie, he knows it himself. He just thinks that his age can still become an obstacle to your relationship, especially when he is often not at home and he is so much attached to you.
However, if some brat decides to start flirting with you thinking that "a lonely young girl needs company" Leon will immediately appear out of nowhere grabbing you by the waist and taking you with him.
At the same time, he will send a scathing look to the man.
Sometimes Leon can be very sarcastic towards you, but then he himself will feel guilty for it.
I think the longer he is in a stable relationship, the stronger his love for his partner becomes, and he doesn't care how much younger you are!
He loves you, and the thought that you might leave him for someone else bothers him. Therefore, sometimes Leon takes flirting with guys with hostility.
He is not one of those who will make a scandal out of the blue, but most likely will hold an explanatory conversation with you at home.
He just wants to make sure that your relationship with him is not a fun game for you.
Maybe he just took a friendly conversation like that, but you don't consider a conversation with a friend to be flirting.
It will be done professionally and unnoticeably (until morning), but Leon will leave you noticeable marks. How were you supposed to know that a sweet kiss on your neck would turn into a hickey?
Pretty hard to hide if it's summer or spring outside.
But Leon doesn't regret judging by his smug grin.
You're his woman. Of course you have complete freedom of action, but that asshole will know that you have someone and there is nothing to bother with an invitation to a date.
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winters-rose-daughterofcain · 8 months ago
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While I'm at it both Colin and Pen are so brave and trusting of each other this season and it's a huge reason why the pacing works for me. This post from @dollypopup goes into detail about the kiss and the bravery it took for Penelope to ask and how important and meaningful it is for her ark (in a far better way than I can), but I think it can translate thought out a lot of what they both do. (Elaborating on this post.)
So much of their relationship is driven by an active want to continue, grow and improve it. They start talking again because Colin notices she's upset and makes the effort to follow her and see what's wrong, they make up after last season because, once again Colin makes the active choice to visit her, apologise, and agree to help her with what she wants. Because there is a baseline there, there is trust and friendship and respect already established from years of knowing each other and the last two seasons. He already values her and cares for her and so makes an effort to maintain their relationship. She trusts him and loves him and knows him well enough to see past this new act, and she accepts his help and apology readily.
Then their lessons happen because they make the effort the seek each other out, Colin actually listens to her about her insecurity and comfort and ranges for them to practise at the Bridgerton house because it was a safe, calm, stress free environment. And it worked, she opened up (as much as she ever dose lol) because he knows her already and she is comfortable enough around him to let her guard down and even let some of her true feelings out, even if unintentionally.
The kiss has already been discussed and said much better than I ever could lol, but it really really is so important. It's not chance or coincidence or force that kickstarts their relationship it's Pen. At one of her lowest moments It's Pen and her choice and her love and her trust and bravery in that moment to ask Colin what she wants and be open and vulnerable in a way she almost never allows herself to be, in a way woman as a whole are punished and looked down on and seen as lesser for doing (clearly, as seen by peoples reactions.) And she is reworded for her bravery by a beautiful, tender, blissful kiss. She wanted to be loved even for a moment and she so aching obviously was.
Then after that they take a break from each other for a little at least in the sense of spending time together, but they continue thinking about each other they entire time.
And in the end, even if it took some help from Violet, it's Colin's actions that lead to that ending. It's hope and bravery and love and desperation that led him storming into that ball half way through and interrupting dances and chasing carriages. It's bravery and vulnerability and trust in Pen, who has always been there for him, always been constant, always been patient and kind and steady, as well as love, that leads to him being able to give a confession like that and her feeling everything in equal parts for him that allows her to actually confess her feeling for him for the first time in the entire show.
Obviously all stories are driven by characters making choices, and outside influence definitely played a role in theirs, but so much of it was them both trusting each other and being brave enough to take a leap of faith and hope to be caught, and they always are. We (I) joke that they're stupid in love and down bad and absolutely unhinged feel loser behaviour abounds, because it's funny and true. But at the heart of it is so much care and unsaid words and bravery that in the end proves worth it because of who they are to each other and how much love is there.
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Clandestine. Part Two.
The affair was always a ticking time bomb. No one could have predicted how big the explosion would be.
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Part One. Part Three. Part Four.
Pairing - Stewy Hosseini x Female Roy Reader
Age Rating - 18+
Warnings - cursing. so much angst. sorry not sorry <3
Word Count - 1.7k
Author's Note - thank you thank you thank you for all of the love on clandestine!! it makes me so happy that so many people love reading stewy fics, because there is a criminal lack of them on here. i am more than happy to provide <3 as always, feedback and reblogs are massively appreciated !!
Series Masterlist.
Masterlist. Requests.
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Knock. Knock. Knock.
Your eyes blink open, sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains. You’re resting comfortably on Stewy’s chest, both of his strong arms wrapped around you. You yawn sleepily, wondering what’s awoken you.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Oh. That. You check the clock on the nightstand, realising that it’s only 7am. On a Saturday. Who’s knocking on the door at 7am on a Saturday morning?
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Fuck, is the noise getting louder? You nudge Stewy carefully, waking him.
“There’s someone banging on your door,” you whisper.
He groans and untangles his legs from yours. He throws on a pair of boxers, and moves to investigate the source of the knocking. You listen intently, curious to know who’s trying to gain Stewy’s attention so determinedly.
The door swings open.
“Ken?” Stewy questions, and you can almost hear the fear in his voice.
“Hey, man. Where the fuck is my sister?”
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
You're half awake and disorientated. Stewy got up to find out who was at the door 10 minutes ago, and frankly, you're getting worried. Against your better judgement, you throw on his shirt from the night before and make your way out of the bedroom.
You enter the living room to be met face to face with Kendall. Shit.
You briefly wonder if you can play it off, fabricate a story, tell him it's not what it looks like!
Apart from, it's exactly what it looks like.
Someone from Kendall's team saw you and Stewy leave the gala together. And now you're here, in his living room, wearing nothing but his shirt. And your shoes are by the front door. And there's a wine glass with your lipstick print on it abandoned on the counter.
There's no getting out of this one.
Stewy wants to scream, yell at you to go back to his room. He wants to pick you up and throw you out of sight, praying Kendall hasn't noticed all the tell tale signs. But it's too late. He has.
"Okay. Uh - what the fuck is going on?"
Kendall asks the question while looking between the two of you like some sort of cartoon character doing a double take. It doesn't require a genius to figure it out, but Kendall needs to hear one of you say it out loud.
"Listen, Ken-"
"Ken, don't get mad-"
You both speak at the same time, verbally tripping over each other. You've never actually discussed what you'd do or say if you got found out. You both just always naively assumed it wouldn't happen.
You sit down on the edge of the couch, and look at your brother earnestly.
"Ken, I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. It isn't fair. But you can't get mad when I tell you the truth."
"I'll be the judge of that," he mutters sassily. You decide the backtalk is a result of his confusion, and give him a pass.
"Will you come and sit with me, please? The standing is making me nervous. I feel like I'm on trial."
"You might be. I haven't decided yet."
You can't tell if he's joking. He's certainly not smiling.
Kendall moves to sit down next you. Stewy follows, perching himself on the opposite end to give you space. Close enough if you need him, far enough that it won't upset your brother more.
"Start talking," he commands, still confused.
"It's... well I - we - me and Stewy, we're -"
"Together," Stewy finishes for you. Kendall glares at him, and he decides he'll keep his mouth shut for a while.
"Yeah, we're together," you continue. "We have been for over a year. It isn't just sex, or anything. I'm in love with him."
It's weird to finally bear this truth after keeping it a secret for so long. It feels wrong, but also refreshing - like a bitter lemon on a hot day.
Kendall is scarily silent.
"You're... kidding, right?" he asks, finally breaking through the quiet.
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" you question, anger bubbling up. "It's my life, Kendall. It actually doesn't matter who I date. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make a difference."
He looks at you incredulously.
"You're so fuckin' naive. How can you sit here and tell me this doesn't change anything?"
You go to speak, but he continues.
"You lied to me, first off. Both of you. For God knows how long-"
"Kendall-"
"Let me fucking finish."
You shrink back into the couch, willing it to swallow you.
"You both lied to me. You broke my trust... and uh, that fucking hurts, actually. And then there's the business side of things. You work for Waystar. Stewy is a board member. That's a conflict of interest."
You scoff at him, but then realise he's deadly serious.
"... A conflict of interest?"
"It's against company policy. How am I going to trust you? How is anyone? Information might get leaked. What if I tell you something, and then you tell Stewy? And he tells Sandy and Sandi, and then the Pierces, and all of a sudden nothing is private anymore. I. Can't. Trust. You."
Tears are welling up in your eyes quicker than you can control. You're trying to take deep breaths, begging yourself not to cry in front of Kendall.
"You're breaking my fucking heart, Ken," you whisper.
"Yeah? Well I walked in here this morning, and you broke mine first."
A choked sob escapes you, and the floodgates open. Fresh, hot tears sprint down your cheeks, landing in your lap. Stewy can't stand to sit and watch any longer.
"Okay, man, that's enough. This isn't fair."
"What's not fair is the two people I trust the most both lying to my face for a year. That's what isn't fucking fair."
With that, Kendall stands up and strides towards the front door, slamming it behind him as he leaves. The minute he's gone, Stewy is wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.
"It's okay, baby," he murmurs, stroking your hair. "He'll come around. We'll be okay. If we stick together, we'll be okay."
His reassurances are only making you cry harder, sobs escaping you uncontrollably. You eventually exhaust yourself, falling into a restless sleep in Stewy's arms on the couch.
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You wake up in bed. You've temporarily forgotten the events of the morning, before it all comes crashing back down around you suddenly. Distantly, you can hear Stewy in the kitchen, talking on the phone. You look around the room, and know what you have to do.
You leave the bedroom with a bag in hand, throwing it onto the ground as you grab your shoes. Stewy clocks you, and hangs up the phone.
"Can I call you back? Thanks, man. I'll see you tomorrow."
He runs over to where you're slipping your heels on, precariously balanced against the side of the couch.
"Honey, where are you going?" he questions, panic washing over him at your frantic state. "Wait, have you packed a bag?"
He's trying to catch your eyes, but you keep looking away, desperate to avoid his unrelenting gaze.
"I'm going home."
A pause.
"... This is your home."
You knew he'd say that. It hurts just the same.
"No, Stewy, this is your home. My apartment is across town."
"You haven't been there in months. All your stuff is here. Baby, talk to me. What's going on? Did Kendall get in your head?"
"Kendall's right!" you shout, trying to pick up your bag. Stewy gets there first and grabs it, flinging it behind him, out of your reach.
"About what? He's just in shock, baby! He's confused and he feels betrayed. You don't owe him fuckin' anything. Not after everything that family has put you through."
"They're still my family. I can't lose my entire family, Stewy!"
"What kind of fucking family stab each other in the back? Lie to each other? Sell each other out for business? You're better off without them and you know it."
You know he's right. You're trying to convince yourself he isn't.
"You heard what he said! He won't trust me anymore. No one will. It's shitty, but my job is important to me. I can't be known as the Roy liability."
"Trust me, honey, you're the least likely to be named the Roy liability."
"That's not the point! You're not listening to me. I'm the youngest, I've had to fight for respect every fucking day of my life. I'm finally where I deserve to be. I can't throw it all away for... for love!"
Stewy flinches like you've punched him in the gut. He takes a step back and leans against the kitchen island, trying to keep his balance.
"What happened to 'you and me against the world', huh?" he murmurs.
"I think I got too wrapped up in this - in us. I was stupid to think it could work. We both were."
"I wasn't," he replies defiantly. "I knew exactly what I was getting into. I knew it would be really fucking difficult and I loved you anyway."
Stewy swears his hard breaks so hard, the both of you hear it shatter. A silent tear rolls down his cheek, big brown eyes filled with sadness.
"I'm not sorry for loving you," you whisper. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, but never for loving you."
"If you meant that, you wouldn't be giving up."
You duck your head, unable to look at him any longer.
"This isn't giving up. This is... quitting while we're ahead. If we keep going, we'll just end up having a huge, horrible, public breakup," you stop, and take a deep breath. "I think we were always doomed to fail."
Stewy thinks about the diamond ring that sits in a box in the top drawer of his nightstand. Doomed to fail.
You finally look up at him, and all the air leaves your lungs. You've never seen him look so defeated, so vulnerable. You're the cause of this. And you hate yourself for it.
You pad across the kitchen and pick up your bag from where he threw it, before stopping in front of him.
"I don't regret you, Stewy Hosseini. I never will."
With that, you stride out of the front door, closing it gently behind you. Stewy is left, cold and empty, in the apartment that no longer feels like home.
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so... part 3??
Stewy Tag List -
@shawty-writes-a-little
@616wilsons
@justacaliforniandreamer
@isuspectitwasthenargles
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yumeka-sxf · 1 year ago
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My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 3
Continuing from my previous two posts, this will be my last post discussing the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." I'll discuss some of Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters, some of the included concept art for the series, all the Twiyor tidbits the book has to offer, and conclude with a couple things the English version of the book omits.
Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters
There's at least one comment from Endo and/or Lin on every chapter of the manga from when the book was originally published (up to chapter 61). Unfortunately I can't cover every single comment, but I did want to highlight a few (more will be covered in the Twiyor tidbits later on).
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So Bond wouldn't have actually died from Yor's cooking then? Good to know her cooking isn't that bad, lol. Also that's a good question, Lin, maybe you should ask Endo? 😅
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Lots of great info about the cruise arc. Makes sense that they had to plan it out many months in advance and keep revising it to patch up plot holes. All that work definitely paid off! Interesting that they almost considered not having Loid on the ship at all. Glad they didn't because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten one of his best outfits! 🤣 (can't wait to see this piece of work in color in the anime!)
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Incidentally, the scene Endo mentions where he "managed to make Yor look pretty cute" is this one (she does look pretty cute here).
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My favorite comment of Endo's about any chapter has to be this one for chapter 56. Never change, Endo 😂
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And lastly, some good comments about chapter 59 (Becky visits the Forgers).
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This is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters so I'm glad it was well received. Funny how they kept going with the joke instead of ending it "normally"...but when you have such great characters and setups, good comedy writes itself!
Below is Endo's commentary about Henderson, not a specific chapter, but thought I'd point it out since he mentions Henderson is the only character he's done a shower scene for...not anymore!
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Also, while not related to a specific chapter, I do like what Endo says below about Loid and Yor's "dark sides."
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He enjoys drawing them this way, which is cool, but he's also cautious about not overdoing it and saving those expressions for important situations.
Concept art
Most of the pre-serialization character designs included in this book were also in the exhibition pamphlet, which I already discussed thoroughly here (wish I had remembered these were in the fanbook so I wouldn't have put so much effort into trying to read Endo's scribble notes). So I'll just mention a few of the most notable things.
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As I discussed in my post about the pamphlet, Franky was at some point intended to be the uncle of the family. Though I do think it would have been fitting to make him the uncle, I also like the main focus being on just the "nuclear" family, with the uncle and other characters having supportive roles.
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An interesting note about the beta version of Yor is that she seemed to be more like Fiona - she was in love with Loid right from the start, to the point of trying to eliminate Anya! I doubt this is something she would be doing all the time as it would have been difficult to make her a likable main character if she was always trying to kill her daughter...in all likelihood, she would have tried to kill Anya at first before eventually learning to love her as a daughter. While I see how this could work for an intriguing character arc, I'm glad Endo decided to make Yor a loving mother to Anya right away, and not make her feelings for Loid an obsessive "love at first sight" kind of thing.
Twiyor tidbits
Being the shipper that I am, I tried to see if I could pinpoint any Twiyor subtleties throughout the book, as vague as they may be! 😂
Below are excerpts from Loid and Yor's character pages where we're given info on their current stance about each other.
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Love the emphasis on their bond of trust ❤️
Below are excerpts from chapters 14 and 35, probably the most Twiyor-heavy chapter pages in the book.
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This confirms that Loid did indeed interpret Yor's kick as her not having any romantic feelings for him.
Below are comments by Endo and Lin for chapter 30, where Fiona is introduced.
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Endo's line is a little ambiguous here, but I think he's saying how people sympathize with Fiona because she's "doomed to lose," which is...telling 😅 (does Fiona's loss automatically mean a Twiyor win?)
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Endo says he likes the "You're strong, Yor" conversation, one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far! 😊 Lin also mentioned how they got to use that theme again during the Becky chapter.
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Weird that he chose to highlight this line of all things as Loid's "Family Comment" for chapter 10. Could this and chapter 79 be more foreshadowing for an eventual "Twilight vs Thorn Princess" showdown? 👀 Or maybe he just likes teasing fans because he knows it's something they fantasize about.
English version omissions
There's an additional Endo interview that's missing from the English version of the book: an interview with him and Kazumi Takayama, a former idol of the group Nogizaka46.
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At first it seemed very odd that they would leave out just this interview, but after discussing it with others on Discord, I realized it's because it has to do with an idol. Apparently getting licensing rights for anything that has to do with a Japanese idol group is very difficult, which is further hindered by the fact that Takayama isn't even part of that idol group anymore, which makes getting the content green lit for official release overseas even more taxing. So probably Viz decided it wasn't worth the trouble and just left out that interview. But thankfully u/Nemshi on Reddit posted a fan translation of it, which you can read here. They talk a bit about SxF, but most of it is just general questions they ask each other.
And the other thing missing from the English version that I really can't understand is the inside cover! Another great 4th-wall breaking joke from Endo (I added a quick translation of the Japanese version below).
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Unlike the Takayama interview, I have no idea why they didn't include this. They include the inside cover as an extra page in all the English volumes, so why not here? Very weird.
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And that's all I'm going to share for the "EYES ONLY" fanbook! Honestly, there's so much great content in the book that I didn't touch on, like info about East/West relations, about Eden Academy, Endo's comments on all the designer chairs for the volume covers...and lots more. So definitely get a copy yourself if you can! It's a must-have for any SxF fan 😁 Books like this aren't officially released in English very often, so the fact that Viz thought it was worthwhile to make this proves how much of a hit SxF is!
<- Return to Part 2
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 months ago
Text
my girl 5
Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.
Summary: your brother’s friend from work starts hanging out a lot more often. (short!reader)
Characters: Captain Syverson
Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜
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Forty minutes pass. The pizza has to be cold by now and your stomach is growling for a slice. You give in and text Isaac. You rarely do that. He barely says much to your face as it is. Not unless he’s making a dumb joke. 
'Where r u dummy?' 
You hit send and set the phone down. He's always been the type to wander off. When he was a kid, you remember helping your mom trawl the block for him. He would disappear into his room and never come out, only to escape through the window to find some trouble elsewhere. 
He texts back a couple minutes later. You can hear Sy pacing on the porch. You've never been alone with him. In fact, you're rarely in the house by yourself this long. 
'Ryan wants to hit up Barons. Gonna be late.' 
Frig. Why would he do that? Especially knowing Sy was on his way. This is going to be even more awkward. 
You’re not sure how to handle this. Usually, your mom takes care of guests. She’s so good at it. You just stay in the background with your books and help where you can. You live more in your head than you do out loud. 
You take the pizza and put it in the oven to warm up. You can't waste his kindness on Isaac’s ignorance. You go to the front door and peek your head out. 
"So er Isaac isn't coming." You say. 
Sy stops short and faces you, "oh. But... you're all alone." 
"Yeah, but that's okay. You can stay for pizza. I put it in to reheat. I mean you went to all that trouble." 
"Oh," he looks disappointed. "Too bad. If ya don't mind, I'm starving." 
"Of course." You smile. 
You feel bad. He came all this way and your brother ditched him. Now he's stuck with you. 
“Sorry about Isaac. I guess it must be important.” 
“Nah, don’t be sorry for him. Don’t you make excuses for him either. He’s that way, isn’t he? Unreliable,” He tuts. 
“Right but... well, he tries, right?” You say. 
Sy grumbles, neither in confirmation or denial. Why would he keep your brother around if he wasn’t good at his job? He hardly seems like the type to stand for that. You don’t ask. It wouldn’t be appropriate. 
You go back inside and he follows not far behind. He appears in the dining room without his hat and boots. You bring out the pizza and put a slice on your plate. You ask how many he wants and you dish him up two. 
Before you can sit, you pause. You almost forgot. 
"One sec." You raise a finger and stand straight.  
You flit out without explanation. His confused expression stains your vision. Living so long in your head, sometimes you forget to put your thoughts into words. 
You go to the fridge and grab two of the strawberry sodas. You return to the table and hand him one. He thanks you an examines the label. 
He twists the cap off easily as you struggle with your own. You forgot an opener. The ridges bite into your palm. 
"Want some help?" He reaches across the table. 
"Sure." 
You hand it over and he uncaps it with a soft his from the bottle neck. He plunks it by your plate as you thank him. He offers a funny smile through his beard. 
You take a sip and he swigs. He hums and eyes the bottle again, "you're right. It's sweet." He sets it down and picks up a slice. "I like sweet." 
You nod and pick up the pizza. You nibble on the end as he takes a bigger bite. Where you make yourself small and unoffensive, he's large and unbothered. His eyes meet yours as once more your mind wanders to orcs and their burly figures. 
"It's nice. This. Uh, us. Um, what I mean is..." he stammers. "Not so bad without the rest, huh?" 
"No, it's not bad," you shrug and smile. 
"Did I say they're showing the trilogy down at the drive-in next month? Read it online." He says. You can tell he's just trying to fill the lull. You appreciate the effort. 
"That's cool." You say. You knew. Your mom was supposed to go with you. 
"Yeah, your brother wasn't so into it. Said he's busy." He scoffs. "Suppose I can make the truck bed up and drive down... lotsa room. If you're interested or something." 
You take another bite as you process. It takes too long to realise he’s asking you to go with him. You’re not as good at subtext in real life. 
“That would be really nice but you know, if you feel bad for me, you don’t have to go to all that trouble.” You chuckle nervously. 
“Feel bad? About what?” 
“I’m a bit of a loner. I know that. And my mom just left. I guess it would seem kind of... sad?” You say. 
“I don’t think your sad.” He brushes his hand over his head. “I think... I think you’re really smart and that.” 
“Because I read?” You wonder. 
“Guess so. I never read books like this before. I don’t read much, you know? But I thought...” His face pales and he folds his pizza in half and puts it down. “I dunno. Guess I was looking for new things to do. Don’t got much else, myself. Don’t think you’re the only one on their own.” 
He gulps and rubs his neck. He stands abruptly, startling you. 
“Think I said too much. I’m sorry. I ruined dinner and all that.” He reaches back to steady the chair before it can topple. 
“No, you didn’t...” you frown up at him. You didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. You really just didn’t want to be in the way. “Please. I didn’t mean anything. I was only letting you know, like, it’s not a big deal. It’s really nice of you to invite me.” 
“It was stupid.” 
“I don’t think so. Unless you do.” You force a smile. “I’d be really lonely eating dessert by myself, you know?” 
“Dessert?” He lifts a brow. 
“Oh sure. You ever tried Pocky? They’re kinda not much but I got a bunch of new flavours.” You offer. “But if you got to go, that’s fine too. You should take some of this with you. I can’t eat it all.” 
He looks down then at you again. His cheek ticks and he shakes out his hands. He makes himself sit and clears his throat. 
“I’m real sorry. I wasn’t meanin’ to act up. I just... I didn’t wanna be a problem.” He shifts in the seat. “I’ll stay.” 
“Not a problem. You brought dinner.” You say. Your mom would never let someone walk out like that. But you’re not your mom. You’re not a very good host at all. 
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