#thank you for coming to my TED talk

[epicnoobz]

Thinking of Sub!Abby finger fucking herself when you send a pic of you from work. Then she takes a video and sends you it showing how needy she is for you.

[orgasming-caterpillar]

"fuck it we ball" is for stress about the future "it is what it is" is for stress about the past and "this too shall pass" is for stress about the present thank you for coming to my TED talk

[ink-ghoul]

There's two genres of Minecraft roleplay

- Gay

- Criticism to capitalism

[pleaseijustneedahug]

thigh hickeys.

[thinkingabout-girls]

rating these laios hugs out of 10 cause they are quite possibly the funniest things i have ever seen

(please note this is not based on laios’s efforts it’s just rating the overall hug)

senshi hug: 10/10. that’s a solid hug right there. bit awkward with the height difference but they made it work

chilchuck hug: 5/10. i’ve been laughing at this for 10 minutes. an effort was made. points have been awarded for an obvious attempt at making chilchuck more comfortable but still is still the awkwardest hug i’ve ever seen. it is painfully obvious that laios once attempted to crouch down to hug chilchuck and received a kick to the nuts and was cursed out for 20 minutes, and has adapted to this so that chilchuck doesn’t kill laios or himself

marcille hug: 8/10. this is the way i hug my relatives that i don’t see very often at family events but it’s still a solid hug

shuro hug: 2/10. this is a great hug but points have been deducted because shuro is a bastard man

falin hug: 1000/10. THAT is a hug and it’s a damn good one. very obvious sibling love right there we love to see it

kabru hug: ???/10. what the fuck is this. what’s with the christian side hug. why are you gently holding his tit what’s wrong with you

[the-phantom-peach]

🗣️ huh?? what do you mean I haven’t posted any Link signing propaganda yet??

[n0anix]

whatever *domesticates your Carnivàle Lecroux*

[devils-your-minion]

Luke Brandon Field did NOT put his all into playing young Daniel as the most horny, desperate, pathetic, limp wristed, whimpering bisexual loser who looked up at that vampire with the wettest most submissive eyes and melted into him as he accepted the loving embrace of death just for people to say that Daniel Molloy is some kind of dom top.

Don’t worry Mr. Brandon Field, I saw your masochistic vision.

[maines]

You’re the best friends anybody ever had. And it’s funny, but I feel as if I’ve known you all the time. But I couldn’t have, could I?

THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939) | AGATHA ALL ALONG (2024)

[tims-missing-spleen]

(I like to think that) Lex Luthor gets clowned on by literally everyone, and Bruce is the absolute worst.

Like he'll attend an event and a literal millisecond later, Bruce will roll up and steal all the attention. And when they're inside, him or one of his crazy "children" will "accidentally" spill very red wine all over his expensive ass suit.

And what can Lex even do?

Last time he retaliated and mildly shoved Bruce, the man very dramatically flung himself across the room and fell straight into a table. He hadn't even gotten hurt- not a single bruise or cut- but that drama queen didn't appear in public for an entire month after the incident. The backlash Lex had gotten was so not worth it.

And it doesn't stop there. His kids join in on the "fun" and bully him too.

Tim permanently bans him from all the platforms owned by Wayne enterprisese, which is like borderline illegal, so Lex sues and somehow always loses.

Jason Duke and Steph team up and make it a game to throw things on his head without him realising. And when Luthor catches one of them, he can't even shout at them or whatnot cause hes actually scared shitless. Jason, the absolute tank of a man, just grins at him while placing his hands on the very noticeable gun at his hip. Duke and Steph stand on either side of him, gripping literal knives in their hands.

Damian just outright walks up to him and begins insulting him in a couple of different languages. He always gives Lex a final disgusted look before turning and walking off.

Dick might seem the sweetest, approaching him while smiling in that nice way of his. He's the worst, though, cause he always makes sure to bring a few reporters with him before he innocently starts outing Lex's latest evil scheme in front of the audience. He makes sure to bring solid evidence of the nefarious plans, but right at the end, he goes, "idk I could be wrong," before shrugging and walling off.

Cassandra doesn't do much, but she's definitely the scariest. Whenever Lex has had enough and is about to call a hit on Bruce, she appears out of nowhere, stares straight at him, and just shakes her head while saying, "No. Regret"

Basically, Lex Luthor, public enemy #1, gets (justifiably) bullied by the entirety of the human population (honestly, only the Waynes).

[thiscryptidischronicallyyours]

New headcanon (that is highly specific and very rarely useful but I find highly entertaining anyway)…

Why Sokka immediately distrusts Aunt Wu:

Her Mark of the Wise was upside down so she was obviously not to be trusted.

[wow-its-me]

THEY SAY SHES SHOULD BEVER USE NOBLE-TEMPLE BECAUSE IT SOUNDS WEIRD

SO

TEMPLE-NOBLE

TEMPLE FROM THE LATIN ROOT TEMP MEANING TIME

NOBLE MEANING A PERSON BORN INTO HIGH SOCIAL OR POLITICAL RANK, INCLUDING NOBLEMAN WHO ARE SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS LORDS

TEMPLE-NOBLE

TIME-LORD

[the-worrier-of-light]

The Magic Bucket Frog

Every Fisher worth their salt knows and loves the Magic Bucket, a minion which can only be obtained by getting lucky while fishing at a very cold, very lonely pond in the Coerthas Western Highlands. The Bucket very obediently follows you around, all the while carrying a single goldfish, which when /poke'd will jump into the air to greet you.

A fine specimen in his own right.

But did you know that, VERY occasionally, a FROG will jump out of the bucket instead? It, as far as I know, cannot be summoned with /poke, /beckon, or any other input (believe me, I've tried). Instead, the frog only appears when it pleases, and only for a moment. To save you tens of minutes of staring at a bucket (and because I desperately wanted to take a closer look at My Dear Boy the Frog), I have documented this phenomenon for you, dear reader.

Behold! A Frog!

Far more rotund than the froggos and poroggos typically encountered in Eorzea, our friend here is clearly very well-fed. (Perhaps this is where all that bait goes when we reel in too early?)

Through the power of gpose, we can also see a split second in which the Frog floats alongside the Bucket's primary denizen. Truly, peace and love on planet Bucket. And finally, for your viewing pleasure:

The Magic Bucket Frog, isolated in all his green, rotund glory.

[starcat1701]

Ok, tinfoil hat time:

1. We know that Sam has been asked to rebuild the Avengers

2. We know that Thunderbolts isn’t the real name of the film

3. We know that Bucky and Sam are in close contact and Bucky turned up in BNW despite Sebastian Stan going uncredited (this I assume was in case the credits leaked)

The only possible conclusion we can draw from the above is we’re getting a scene in Thunderbolts* where Sam is doing Avengers stuff and Bucky turns up and says ‘I’ve got a team…kind of’ and Sam looks at the hot mess Bucky’s brought along with him and says ‘I guess it’s a start’

[w4gg]

I get why a lot of new (and old) fans are getting mad with Wallace for how he treats Gromit, but he’s just a bit absentminded. He definitely cares about Gromit, he built Norbot FOR Gromit he’s just not very aware that not everything he does has a positive impact.

The problem with their relationship is Gromit can’t speak, and Wallace can’t pick up on social cues they’re like a constant miscommunication trope.

[thegrickus]

So far one of the biggest differences between reddit and tumblr for me is that there's no pressure to create a "good" post. There's no button to reduce the number of notes a post has (unless you're the source of one of those notes, which I mean hey, you gave me these imaginary internet numbers in the first place, feel free to rescind them for any reason).

There's no bots that will automatically delete my post because I didn't have 10,000 tumbloints, users don't seem to come out of the woodwork to disparage your post if it doesn't meet some invisible standard of content (and if they do you can just block them)

I've had a reddit account for 14 years and I think you can already get a better picture of who I am as a person in my less then 12 hours of tumblr shitblogging.

Anyway, thanks tumblr friends for being so welcoming.