#idk my brain just. doesnt like me and doesnt like doing anything that isnt a stock photo with some glitter pen on top art wise lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months ago

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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

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triglycercule · 22 days ago

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killer being like "yeah i know every single little thing about horror and dust" (because he watches them as a part time hobby (freak) (find something better to do)) and then he acts surprised when they do something that he wouldnt expect them to do in his little predetermined absolutely perfect concept of them

like what do you MEAN horror licks spoons clean when he's using them so he doesn't have to get a completely different one for the main course and the dessert. what do you MEAN dust has a lisp even though he speaks fluently and uses even more complex words than killer himself. horror knows how to sew and he often patches up their things without either of them noticing?? dust always wears oversized and clothes that cover him up just because he finds it comfy?? what??? out ra geous???? these guys have small little quirks to them that killer doesn't already know about???? killer immediately wants to know more. so he can expand his internal profile of them of course. not for any other more endearing and sweet reason. not at all,,,,,,,, (:3)

#AASHSHAHHHHH this one is so cute....... this thought. thank you brain for making this thought #it's like killer's experiencing sonder (except he's not aware of his own complexity of life because of his own derealization/personalizatio #actually i dont think this deserves to be a side blog post. this is too damn CUTE #at first the 2 were probably weirded out by killer watching them and now they probably dgaf...... killer comments less than youd expect #but now theyre used to his shit so they do all these tiny things that killer gets to pick up on and learn more about them #its so interesting...... killer can do as much reasoning as he can to try and find a logical reason for why they do these little things #but in the end if the real reason is just because they wanted to or they felt like it then how can killer comprehend that?#how can they just do that so easily and choose to do things based off a whim instead of having a calculated precise reason for personal gai #he wouldnt realize it on his own but noticing those little things coming fron horror and dust who used to be like him could help with the #everything is just a game and i am simply an avatar and the ultimate goal is the win aka be the most powerful #for dust and horror theyve already turned their consoles off. theyre out of their games theyve finished. their goal was just to beat it #(like if horrortale finally got the good ending it deserves because of aliza horror would have finished #if dust beat the player and due to extreme boredom (ITS GOTTA BE EXTREME EXTREME) decides to leave to explore the multiverse)#in killer's eyes theyve achieved their goals. but killer's still playing his game. maybe he IS the game. but eitherway he's not done #like they r. so taking into consideration how other versions of himself act when theyre finished with the game could he act like that 2??#did HE also finish his game and he never realized it? should he be basing these ideas off dust and horror when theyre kinda not the same gu #killer would find so many hoops to jump through to justify getting rid of the everything is a competitive game idea but there would be smth #IDK im just rambling. i gawt this idea from me imagining them fight. ya you wouldnt believe this sweet thing came from trio abuse :3 #killer psychoanalyzing dust and horror is one of my favorite things eva. horror would HATE IT (if he were aware #and dust would totally be freaked out and keep to himself incase killer's planning anything against him #but uaaaghhh pretend this isnt canon this is triglycercule's ideal little world where they explore the mv and have fun #killer watching dust and horror sleep because he doesnt feel tired while theyre all in bed #and he's just picking up on how theyre positioned. how they breathe. the little things.......... djdjshahahaaahsushdjwbdsn ssosooooo cuuut #tricule hc #killer sans #horror sans #dust sans #murder time trio #utmv #dare i say mtt poly. ok i dare say it. but like lowkey he'd do this whether theyre together or not...... killers just weird like that......

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spaciebabie · 8 months ago

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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.

#spacie spoinks #bruh #like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk #''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing #like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like #a week and that was like the worst week of my life #i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP #HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche #the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid #also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr #idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again #ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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toytulini · 5 months ago

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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

#toy txt post #my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW #its very silly of me #imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad #even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i #listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary #i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a #different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound #so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy #ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate #feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed #*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it #which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting #sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same #i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic #OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about #different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject #needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP #ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE #WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE #SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR #ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT #anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess #(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill #deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts #and the subject

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months ago

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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical

when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....

#snap chats #please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago #what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did #they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back #moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u #but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so #the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other #on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare #not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other #as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look #again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent #the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry #idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual #OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato #cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry #but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki #like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato #he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA #he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical #i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv #at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK #but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep #ima go bye

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salon-maiden-anabel · 10 months ago

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guh i need to start getting out of my comfort zone of never really changing how characters look else then like. hair fluffyness lol. im always overly aware that i stick toooooo close to their canon designs for what i Want to headcanon them to look like yknow. grumble gurgle idk weird things i just can not get over for whatever reason . Like i know its very much also dealing with "hey i already drew this character once. this is now how they are in my art for the rest of time unless its an au!" when its like. NOTHING IS STOPPING ME FROM JUST. CHANGING HOW I DRAW THEM AND GOING ABOUT MY DAY. gargles rips my hair out

#talk tag #yes this all leads back to lucy somehow i keep staring at her like. okay my headcanons for her have already been #dramatically changed from what i had originally bc of gen 9. why is my brain not letting me Change #all this is not helped by the great bulbapedia miscolour/wrong hued frontier brain Agony Feelings of mine from last week #idk my brain just. doesnt like me and doesnt like doing anything that isnt a stock photo with some glitter pen on top art wise lol #idk . idk its late. never trust your brain after a certain time yadda yadda. IS THIS A VENT. I DONT THINK. IT IS?????? ACK

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just-spacetrash · 3 months ago

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#not feeling so great as of lately #i thought it was just that i was thinking about stuff at a too late of a time yesterday but now its morning and i still feel bad #sure i slept very badly so maybe its still that but idk it still doesnt feel great no matter what the reason is #i feel like. so annoying lately #and like yea maybe i am and it shouldnt matter yk like all that ur allowed to be annoying and just be urself and whatever #but it just of takes a lot out of u when u t talk about ur interests or ur day or smth ands like everyone just brushes it off or ignores u #and obviously im probably being dramatic like this is a busy time of the year!#and its not always about me and like other ppl have their reasons to do what they do u know #but it still feels bad :'))#also this isnt about like anyone specific its like a combination of little things that FEELS bad to ME not a thing someone else does #like i know ppl dont have to care about stuff yk i like that i KNOW they dont care about so like what do i expect #and i dont ever know what to say to stuff idk anything about either so its very understandable #but its took me years to like. talk about things i like without prompting so it feels like a big hit when i dont get any reaction back fsgsh #and thats not trying to blame anyone else either its not anybody elses fault im not good at something #i think my kind of insecurity is showing one of my friends had to reassure me that yes they do want to hear how im doing fsgsh #but im thankful for that it feels good to hear when ur feeling kind of unstable with ur relationships fshsh #also since i am feeling like. unstable on EVERY relationship i suspect its just seasonal depression or stress or something #still wont stop the brain from like trying to blame itself lmao #this is kind of stupid idk what im trying to even say here #my post #vent #maybe ill delete it later?? this feels stupid

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thecherrygod · 10 months ago

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#my posts #you know how this usually goes #i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao #... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better #maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more #2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man.#like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao #. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao #like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general #what i do isnt good enough #what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread?#and like all things considered i should be doing good currently #or at least not this bad #but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man.#so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao #also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me #but like.. more than usual #and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem #idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse #or they i will regret lmao #i. wont do any of those #also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die #not against it but its not the only option #just lay there and float..... also not against it #i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is #like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao #... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired #.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao #like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah #its kinda worse than i thought lmao

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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years ago

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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

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weirdlizard26 · 1 year ago

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so bizarre to me that my love language is apparently recording music for people. how did this even happen

#wl26 #<- little weirdo #SORRY I LIKE MUSIC AND THE ACT OF SHARING IT!!!!!!!!!!#i feel rly guilty abt it sometimes bc it feels so selfish. like hi i made art and im showing it to you so you can look at or listen to it #and you might not like it but i made it for you specifically because its related to something you enjoy #but its not actually the thing you enjoy. its just something that i made about it because i also enjoy it #and im scared the ways we enjoy it are completely different which means youre gonna hate the thing i made #but i will show it to you anyways because i love you and its the only way i know to say it #n a couple of time ive wanted to write a song for someone and gotten so excited about it and then had the horrible realization that #this is so. so oddly specific to me and this is just something i do out of love for friends #and it really isnt any bigger of a deal than any other handmade gift #and i think it can easily qualify as a handmade gift even though it doesnt involve making anything with hands #except for sounds i suppose #but yeah its just something i do. but. outside of my tiny little world. writing a song for someone might seem like such a huge gesture #and i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable or have the wrong idea about me or think that im doing a big thing to get something in return #and idk why im so scared of that like ive never been in a situation where people misunderstood me like that #but i guess. the very concept of being misunderstood is so painful to me gdfkgjd #this wasnt supposed to turn into a big post sorry. just want a normal brain that doesnt make me feel guilty abt everything please #wouldnt that be so nice #this isnt rly abt anything btw i was just going through my music folder. listening to my stuff from 2018 #5 years... god

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tiktaaliker · 1 year ago

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i have this thing where sometimes i see a smooth surface (cgi is specifically bad for this) and some part of my brain goes. hey wouldnt it be fucked up if that was Flawlessly and Perfectly Smooth. and i go yeah that would be fucked up and proceed to have an anxiety attack over the concept of a really really really flat rock face or some shit like that