#rather than the 80000 reasns someone might not follow me. no ofcourse its that they hate me specifically and they know im a horrible person
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several of my oomfies have been inactive for months . hand longingly on their blogs
#i hope you r all off frolicking and being happy . theyre in a better place (off tumblr) DJNRTJBTJTNG#i want to start making new mutuals again but im genuinely so scared all the time even though it rly truly is not that big a deal im just#like Fuck what if they dont like me and they just havent blocked me yet but me following them will make them be like ew a bug and theyll#block me and tell all of our shared mutuals im a weirdo and then everyone on the entire website will block me forever. which is objectively#sooooo stupid way to feel DJRNFJFNGJNF#but wever. it also doesnt help that my latest whiny post is never more than 24 hours down on my blog and its embarassing to follow someone#when they could just scroll down and see me going wahwahwah#its also like idk what id like. bring to the table as a mutual i guess not that i expect anybody to be anything other than themselves but#its not like i like post abt things anybodies interested in or anything like that its fr just stream of consciousness and also posts i find#funny. sigh#but its mortifying to follow first itakes me feel like im a little orphan begger or something which again IS STUPID#but this is coming from the guy who only follows one singular blog that isnt a mutual bc he thinks its embarassing otherwise. which again.#stupid.#like i think often of starting to do promos again but what do i say Hey its connor ill be your unemployed layabout mutual who cries and#whines and throws up and isnt particularly funny or insightful or creative in anyway. FOLLOW ME !#and also everytime theres anything like that im like what if a nobody reblogs the post thats humiliating even though when i do ppl do rb and#its literally a nonissue and b what if i get no new mutuals bc nobody like me ever. and of course thats how my brain would interpret it#rather than the 80000 reasns someone might not follow me. no ofcourse its that they hate me specifically and they know im a horrible person#and want me dead. its all so silly it is literally blogs and posts my brother. (me)
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