#idk my brain has latched onto it in this very specific way

[motherforthefamicom]

i dont even know why i feel the way i do abt zebrahead i think theres just something actually wrong with me

[moonpie016]

Moon goes on a whole talking session.

*Walks in and realizes that this is becoming a frequent thing to post on here. And I'm happy about that, because I get to show what I make all the time. :]*

But now onto the drawings, and will eventually make a list on things I want to do next because that'll help me stay on track.

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Positive stuff below the drawing.

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It's the dudes inside my head, yay. Though they're all asleep, well two of em are. I drew this for whatever purpose it would serve, that being that my insides, while still a confused state and overall over reactive response to anything that needs rephrasing. Or just anything that happens, good, bad, whatever, that it has a way of comforting itself. It tries.

It tries to do the bare minimum of existing, even if it is tricky with having to always remember and think of more to do.

How to react appropriately, how to understand things to its full capability. How to understand others and everything more.

It's difficult, not in the way that doing things is difficult, but however that goes. These conceptualized beings of emotion have existed for some time, don't remember when but they have. But they always hadn't looked like this, obviously/lh.

But they all serve the same purpose combined or separate.

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And, to go completely off topic, to go ramble.

Songs have whatever emotional attachment they can hold, whether important or not, it's just something that sticks. Helps.

And as you can see how much art I make, how many times I've probably listened to most of all the songs on repeat by now, what random pieces of dialogue I'll spew to write.

Chonny's music is comfort. Now it isn't just his, other artists as well. But those aren't important rn. His music in general, not just CCCC. Through whatever emotional moment months ago that made me feel lost and confused on what to do, what do I do now. I needed to find something to latch onto, if not, I'd feel..off. like I wasn't doing anything, because I wasn't doing anything. I tried to get into stuff but it wasn't working, like it needed to naturally happen instead of force myself.

The music has related to my state of mind (no pun) at certain points. And I find that comforting. Concerning? Maybe, but comforting.

Like, getting into what's popular, what new game, but that didn't work. And I'm kinda happy my brain decided to be now fixated on this man's music. Sure every time I'd like to explain or show someone, I need to specify and always show specific songs. Cus. Yeah. But now, I see people's work and stuff, and it's all so cool. And though the inconsistency of this blog is very apparent. I've enjoyed my time on here, very much. Even if I don't always actually speak to someone, because I don't really know what to say or start a conversation. (Seeds/social anxiety). I'm still happy for whatever interaction I get. I'm happy to feel included in this bizarre/pos and silly household. Idk why I'm calling it a household. Just go with it.

Even if I linger around or just post a drawing, I'm enjoying it. Some artwork may be more serious than silly. But yeah.

And to also just say whatever without rethinking is great, now I'm not going to say anything out of word. But just being silly in general with my wording. Y'know? Make odd jokes or talk excessively. (Wow).

Sum it up, I appreciate you all. Though you don't know me or I know you, it means a lot. I didn't think a joke about Heart beating up Mind would be turned into anything else, or that people would actually say anything.

This is just a happy little appreciation thing. I don't know how to end it! I just felt to write this.

So, uh yeah. :3

*Runs back into the hills*

Thanks for reading my ramble/pos.

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[openphrase123]

i realize this may not be the best time to ask because of the last post you made, but how do you find the motivation to keep up with so many projects at once? the fact that you can is both inspiring and also very scary and i'm jealous. "average person writes 1 fic in their lifetime" WRONG. ficwriter openphrase123 who writes 3276453287 fics in their lifetime all at once is a statistical outlier and should not be c

oh this answer got long here's a readmore

well first of all. i have a boring dayjob that lets me marinate big ideas on the backburner. i can turn my thinking brain off for 90% of my projects at work. i've been working there for seven years, i can plot fanfiction in my head without taking a single performance hit LOL

second. um. i'm thirty in like four months. that is in NO WAY old, but i have been on this earth long enough to know when i, specifically, cannot execute or follow through an idea. i only pursue projects i know i can reasonably finish without going crazy. i just kind of. know how my brain chemistry works? i have reasonable expectations for myself?? i'm friends with my brain even if it likes to overthink or be anxious or have seizures or go down weird ocd-adjacent thought paths

third, which feeds a lot into the above point. but when you are in your teens and twenties it's going to take you some time to figure out the rhythm of how you work. i like to take a lot of mini breaks in between what i'm doing. this does not work for my girlfriend, who has ADHD and is like "if i take a break i will never recover" so she doesn't do that. brains are all different and you gotta find what works for you

fourth. well. this one might just be me. but the reason i have like 8 concurrent projects is because when i get tired of one, my brain is VERY happy to latch onto another one. no matter what i'm doing, something is getting done?? that's why i was writing 3 fics at once trying to decide which one to do next. and why i couldn't figure it out and had to leave it to a tumblr poll

and, fifth. idk. i don't write fanfiction when i don't want to? if you look at my ao3 account i haven't done it since. like. 2021? and before that the last time i wrote any fanfiction was in like 2013. of which i cannot track down that old accout but i swear it probably exists?

s.sixth??? and this one is going to sound the braggiest. and maybe it is a little bit. i'm good at this? not like. naturally. i wasn't born writing 100k fanfics. but i've been writing fiction for like. most of my life. i wrote a lot of awful stupid shit before i started writing good shit. i'm not falling asleep at the wheel or anything but after you're making art for enough time, it more easily falls into place. after doing it for so long you develop an intuition for the kinds of projects you will be sufficiently motivated for. i don't know how to describe this without sounding like a pretentious asshole. maybe i can allow myself to be for like five minutes. i've earned it

i hope that helped??? my brain kind of just. does stuff. i've trained it over the years to do stuff in the direction that makes me happy!! i wish my brain would let me go clean my bathroom instead but eh. tradeoffs?

[caspersickfanfics]

I’m curious as to what you think Cyno and Tighnari would do if they had to visit Dragonspine 👀 more specifically i wonder how /Cyno/ would handle it. I feel like him going with nari or him returning from a solo trip to nari would be very interesting, since Cyno wouldn’t risk his reputation by not going on said mission even if it cost him big time later~ thoughts ? :)

Oh anon, I love you for this ask. I have. So many thoughts.

First of all, this opens the door to so many unusual character interactions. Out of these, Lisa and Cyno's friendship is a really appealing dynamic to me - I think he's comfortable with her in a way that's a bit different to the way he is with Tighnari. I think Tighnari understands, to an extent, when Cyno wants to act tough and pretend he's more okay than he is. He doesn't baby him, because 1) that's not Tighnari's style and 2) he wants Cyno to be as comfortable as possible. I imagine that Lisa does baby him, knowing that he's uncomfortable with it. She thinks he's cute and as much as she does respect him, he's like a little brother to her. So, say Cyno ends up not doing so hot at Dragonspine, Lisa is going to force him to rest, she's going to give him all the blankets and soup they have to warm him up, and she's staying by his side as much as possible through it all. It's a little oppressive, but Cyno is aware and can appreciate that it's how she expresses her care.

In a similar vein, I've seen some fics positioning Razor as being like a little brother to Cyno, which - idk if they ever interact in canon, but that's intriguing as well. Razor finding him and not knowing what to do to help, Cyno trying to be reassuring when he just feels absolutely horrid. Um, also, I barely ever think about Amber but I'm picturing her on outrider duties and finding Cyno passed out in the snow and being like "wait... isn't that Collei's dad??" Helping him out and writing to Collei about it once Cyno's back in the city and on the mend.

Re: returning to Nari after a solo trip to Dragonspine. My brain has instantly latched onto an entirely made up illness that just keeps him feeling cold long after he leaves. Cold in a way that feels freezing, just chills 24/7, and the longer it goes on the more other symptoms build up. There's a cure, but it's all the way in Mondstat. Tighnari doesn't want to leave Cyno alone or move him, so he asks Kaveh and Alhaitham if they can get ahold of it. Meanwhile, Cyno just keeps getting worse. They stay snuggled up as much as possible but it's really just miserable until they can get ahold of the antidote.

I'm also thinking about CynoNari going together, getting stuck in a cave or something with one or both of them hurt and/or sick. Maybe they were going to meet up with Albedo and got attacked or encountered unexpectedly bad weather on the way. I am sure that Tighnari would be prepared for the usual stuff, but he couldn't have perfectly planned for, say, an avalanche >:)

Oh this is one big ramble. I dunno anon, I'm not sure if this is what you wanted but, you certainly did get... something. What are your thoughts??

[distortedkilling]

Hello! It's the same anon from the whole gender/sexuality stuff and the merch question- I just wanted to say thank you for answering all my stuff with so much care, I'm always scared of doing weird questions out of nowhere or being annoying but I really love how you analyze and interpret the character, it's a really refreshing take and I like how you lean a lot in the "alien/inhuman", not sugarcoated or infantilized/quirky interpretation of the character? Idk how to explain, sorry for rambling </3 either way thank you for answering all the stuff in such a fun, creative way

The joy he felt in this moment is the joy I feel when you visit. You can feel free to drop in whenever. I get how scary it can be to approach on this stuff. Generally, I don't find it weird at all and I'm comfortable to chat about it. And if you're both brave and thoughtful enough to pop into my inbox, I think it's only fair I dump on you all my current thoughts on what's being asked. xD

Thank you for your kind words, interest and liking my interpretation.

I really love all the different ways people latch onto his character. From art to roleplay to fanfiction, there are specific things people imagine and latch onto and it's always interesting to see what it is. I very much like dehumanizing him because I think that makes those human moments more impactful. Like when Mahito discovers he likes something. Or the fear he felt at the end of season two. :)c

I think he does have his quirks and is silly, I can appreciate people who focus on that and why. I just can't have that be his entire identity and overlook the other stuff. It was shown he likes to have a good time but generally has a conflict with internally feeling things. As expected, of course. I think it's easy to focus on him being silly if you look at him from a human perspective and humanize him. He's young by our standards, the little freak. I see people infantalizing him regardless if they like or hate him - though I see a lot of the latter more-so. RIP. I think focusing too much on him being that silly guy or being young discredits his accomplishments and what he has managed to do in less than a year's time. The way I approach it: he's a curse, so those standards (in my opinion) can't be applied and I have to just rip my brain out of my own skull and think beyond what I know and the logic I possess to try and figure out his processing.

It's really fun, tbh. I will always favor the psychological hoops of characters like Mahito who toe the line between monster (primarily) and human (secondary).

My inbox is always open to you and peeps like you who are so thoughtful in considering his character/characters in general. You've asked such fun questions, I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to ramble. <3

[eliotquillon]

PLOT: shelby/lucy. anastasia/nero. elena/nero. raven/verity >:^)

shelby/lucy: doesn't make sense, compels me. i have no idea why i latched onto them as a couple bc they hardly interact one on one (other than shelby technically being the one who introduced her to the others?) and realistically shelby/laura or lucy/laura makes more sense if we're talking abt ships that have any kind of foundation in canon. However this is maybe exactly WHY it compels me. i think they have a lot in common tbh (difficult family relationships, attempted concealed identities). and while i find shelby super shippable with every core four member i can never really see any of those relationships working out in the long run for her (shelby/laura i always see as one sided/laura choosing otto, shelby/otto is a short lived teenage fling that has tons of chemistry but is also super tosxic for them both, and bloodline epilogue kind of confirmed my 'shelby and wing go on a 'break' post graduation and just never get back together' headcanon), whereas with lucy i think i can? like they have a good enough balance of similarities and differences (whereas shelby/otto are too similar and shelby/wing are too different for me). idk obviously in canon it could never work because lucy fucking DIED but it's fun to imagine aus where she didn't!

anastasia/nero: makes sense kinda, compels me. im so sorry mark walden i say this w all the love and respect in the world you CANNOT tell me you wrote those books not intending us to believe anastasia and nero hatefucked nasty. the whole bucharest thing is so deliciously vague like...idk what else couldve gone on. my more 'fun' nerostasia headcanons (eg that anastasia and elena were the twins, that anastasia/nero had some overlap with elena/nero) are definitely way out of the realm of canon though so i think i can't say it fully makes sense. anyway yes it compels the hell out of me they are my ants in a lab!!! i think i don't enjoy them on their own so much as i enjoy them as part of the rich tapestry of Fucked Up Furan Dynamics like the two are inextricable for me. but anyway yeah i think one of my fave fics ive ever written was that bucharest nerostasia fic. they really get my brain goin

elena/nero: makes sense, doesn't really compel me. makes sense because the whole romeo and juliet thing and also in the wider fanon saga of nero vs the furans it is objectively funny and very in character for nero to turn around and make his nemeses' baby sister into a teen mom. however while i am incredibly compelled by nero and the furans as a family, and am SUPER SUPER obsessed w elena on her own, them together specifically is not something i'm super interested in. elena is so so fascinating to me and always has been, but not because of her relationship w nero. i think it's fun to reflect on how nero perceives and elevates elena after her death, and it's fun to talk abt the consequences of their relationship, but the actual relationship itself devoid of any of the furan Drama? eh. just not something that particularly inspires me i don't think

raven/verity: makes sense, UNFORTUNATELY DOESNT COMPEL ME. to be clear when i say makes sense i mean in a hatefuck-y way. they were definitely homoerotically obsessed with each other even before raven murdered verity's sister. i wish wish WISH this was something that got my brain chugging because on paper it ticks all my boxes (messy hatesex, lesbians, assassins) but in practice it's just never been something i've gone 'wow i need to write/think abt this'. DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE READING IT HINT HINT but i dont think i'll ever write for it

[oncegreatness]

— character info sheet.

(repost, don’t reblog)

name: Basil Karlo.

name meaning: Literally named after Boris Karloff and Basil Rathbone. Basil is a plant, also.

alias/es: Clayface, or Clayface I.

ethnicity: Mostly German and Indian-American [as a nod to Boris Karloff]. Other than that, we don't know specifics.

one picture / icon you like best of your character:

three h/cs you never told anyone:

I've said it on Discord forever ago so technically not cheating, but he is wholly immune to prion diseases. He simply out-mutates the prions.

Other voiceclaims I'd considered for him were Tony Jay and Tim Curry. Eventually I decided the vocal dissonance of having him be mainly voiced by Vincent Price was too good to pass up.

I've implied it, but he suffers from pretty bad Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, or wet brain disease, due to a lifetime of alcoholism. More on that here. It's bad, yes, but he has been convinced to try and get help.

three things your character likes doing in their free time:

Drinking. Dear god, drinking. It started off as a way to numb the pain of his nerve endings being on fire, but of course the 1900's just spurred on social drinking as a movement overall.

Providing snarky commentary on any situation ever. He revels in being a catty gay.

Just vibing NGL. Gotham is a very hectic place, and Basil is old as shit despite the powers offering a physical boost. Boy needs a break sometimes!

eight people your character likes / loves:

[main AU and in any AUs where I happen to write them both] Viktor Albrektsson Fries/Mr. Freeze. They're in an awkward polycule with Nora. Literal ride or die.

Sondra Fuller. The only child he doesn't view as a parasite, for whatever reason. Honestly, even I don't really know why he immediately latched onto Sondra. Perhaps it's because she reminds him of himself.

@enignoema he's quite fond of Riddler. Quite. It's genuinely rare people get beneath that exterior and tragically Eddie has captivated him.

Mary! @babydxhl :) best buds forever

Film Freak as a broad general. Fuck yeah, a loser who only speaks in movie references.

[NPC] Thierry Baudin. Arguably the first person he ever truly loved and wasn't just using as a means to an end. Baudin had a dark side to him, one he tried to only express in his camerawork.

@ people: yeah IDK interact with me more?? Shrug. My characters don't know a whole lot of people on the Tumblr side of things.

two things your character regrets:

Not killing his father.

At his lowest moments, the fact he wasn't the one who died. He managed to hide his having AIDS, as he was somewhat sickly to begin with.

one phobia your character has:

Being alone. He'll never cop to it, though. Who is he when he isn't performing? I don't think he knows; maybe he never knew.

Tagged by: I stole this lmfaooo

Tagging: @enignoema , @babydxhl ; whoever else wants, I'm going to bed in a bit and I have a literal single digit number of followers on this blog

[thebrideofreanimator]

okay so it’s been two years since my reanimator special interest started so i’m gonna try to put into words what these movies mean to me. this is the most cringe i’m probably ever getting on this account so. point and laugh while you can

so reanimator didnt become a special interest the first time i watched it. i think it was my 3rd or 4th viewing when it just. clicked in my brain. idk. it was the last day of school for me in 2021 and i decided to watch them that night 2 celebrate because i had been wanting to give them a rewatch 4 a while and that was the start of my brainrot. not sure what about that watch caused my brain to latch onto them so much (my theory atm is it was the first time I watched them not during like an all nighter/at 4-5 am) but it has been my favorite thing in the world ever since. i’ve never had a movie mean more to me (the closest a movie has come to it is repo the genetic opera. which i was actually still fixated on when i gave reanimator a rewatch and reanimator is what ended that fixation lol) anyways. reanimator was and still is my best friend 4ever. i watched it every single day that summer. i still watch it at absolute minimum 1-2 times a month to this day but usually more. herbert west is my fav character ever. reanimator has gotten me through so much shit i don’t care that it sounds cringe it has gotten me through trials and tribulations. herbert and dan are my best friends. herbert west is very important to me because he is asexual and autistic just like myself but he is also an evil bitch and silly which is very important. my love 4 reanimator made me wanna watch frankenstein. which i did along with dracula in a movie theater double feature which led to me falling down the uni monsters rabbit hole. which led to me watching the 1925 phantom of the opera. which led to silent film fixation hell and getting into conrad veidt. that’s right party people, reanimator indirectly led to my conrad veidt special interest. reanimator is my biggest comfort film. it never fails 2 cheer me up when i’m sad or upset. i go back and fourth between if i like the first one or bride better because they’re both just so good. i think these movies were made with me in mind and 4 the autistic horror girlies specifically. they’re so silly bonkers camp (i love you way too red fake blood and funny green glow stick syringe) but they’re also just really good movies. i literally cannot even begin to put into words how much i fucking love reanimator it is my favorite thing ever. herbert west is my best friend. every time i see anything reanimator related it makes me joyful beyond words. these movies genuinely changed my life and i never have been more fixated on a movie and I don’t think I ever will. live laugh reanimator

[ububunes]

Ok so. The fandom in question is. And I genuinely cannot believe I'm about to admit this.

It's lencest ok (with like.... The modules.... From the project diva games....). Pov you're me with zero friends and awful mental health and family life and you somehow fucking stumble upon some little niche community. (No I genuinely can't remember the exact details on how exactly I found out about it? Think it was general "loserbrain internet addict" moment or something. Where I was kind of spiraling.) Fast forward and I'm flying high. In my view at least. Yeah uh there was a Very Specific Person who. Man I don't even fucking know.

Uhm. Cringe story short lencest genuinely got me out of an awful place (even if some specific ppl there did not do anything at all to help and. May have traumatized me. I don't know. I haven't come to terms with it all!) and gave me a fav for me to bully (lovingly.)(I want to mash his stupid face into the dirt.). Then he just started to evolve more and more in my brain and is just. Relaxing and calming to think about. Like yeah even if he is kind of associated with trauma(maybe??? Up for debate) he's not a trigger or anything. But he is kind of a "hey, I got through that. I guess. Yeah he's a big part of a shitty part of my life but I can reclaim that. Maybe I can try to make that memory a bit happier.

Still not great in the friend department. I mean I at least have irl friends who don't treat me like dogshit but even then it's lonelier than when I did. I have more people overall to talk to (even if I did shit myself off from the world for about. Two years maybe? And talk to about. Two people.) which is very much a good thing.

The one thing I will say is that at this point it's devolved to the point where my fav (and another friend of mine's fav) are genuinely unrecognizable from their original forms (they're the ones in my header!). I don't know if maybe I'm just fucked in the brain (I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually melted in places. Had fevers of about 109°F as a kid. Surely that can't be good for ye ol noggin?) or desensitized or maybe overreacting or what but idk. It feels less like 'selfcest' and more "oh thank god, I already have a base to work with. And I get to mold their personalities and talk about it with my other fun freak friends!" The one thing I will say is I don't like it if they look too similar. Then it does feel a little strange. It's also the only way I can rationalize rin/len which. Yeah no I do at least find that gross. Like fine. If you pick a rin and len module that look different enough I can accept it. Won't necessarily like it but I can accept it. Not like my hands are clean after all....

Uh yeah. Sorry lmao!! I'm . I'm cringe.! I've tried to stop but this dumb little design has become such a major part of my life that I can't get him out of it. Sorry if that disappoints anybody. Though I guess if you thought it was like. Man idfk actual serial killers??? Idk. Then uh, good news, it's not. Bloods icky. Lol. (<- their brain is being deepfried once again) decided to just get this over with and post than sit in agony. I uh. Yeah sorry. I've tried to get into other things but nothing has ever made me latch onto it as hard as this stupid selfcest ship shit. Sorry.

Thinking of admitting a very cringe fandom I find myself genuinely unable to tear myself away from just so I can post pics and ramble abt The Fav without having to be vague or not tag it properly. Like I know "oh you can be cringe here" "be cringe and free" okay but what if I'm really really scared. What abt that. Granted if I do it now the mental backlash I give myself will be minimal so. And I may genuinely be overreacting but y'know what if I'm Not. Like. You ever take a character associated with your trauma and just make them your traumabitch (I don't know how to describe it if you don't know. I'm sorry.). Yeah. Maybe I'll write the post and try to schedule it for sometime I know I'll be asleep.

[hella1975]

heyyy hellaa, please tell us your favorite fics of all time, from any fandom, because i wanna know what makes your brain go vroom !!

WOULD LOVE TO OKAY:

haikyuu:

three sheets to the wind by fairycake - we have sakuatsu we have found family we have pirates we have a surprisingly coherent balance of plot and fun times we have a prank war we have miya twins content we have idiotic background sunaosa we have PIRATES there is literally nothing to dislike here when i read the description of this fic i thought it would just be dumbassery but it wound up being so much more and i got so attached so quickly and the ending was just so heartfelt if i could read this again for the first time i would

burden of blame by deathbelle - OUGH the writing of this one is just. jesus christ. atsumu's characterisation? kiyoomi's characterisation? protective miya twins? the miya twins interactions themselves? if you took away the yakuza angle id be CONVINCED this was all canon bc the author just Gets the characters. maybe my fav sakuatsu fic ever

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu - iwaoi have entered the chat!!! one thing about me is i LOVE a good recurring metaphor, but a super niche one when you can tell the author knows their shit? respectfully i am drooling. this fic is just so raw and real and it really hit home for me and even to this day when i see it im all !!!!!! a must-read for anyone in the haikyuu fandom

jaywalkers by batman - multi-ship but im gonna say it was more gen for me than anything idk if that's just bc none of my big ships were in there (aside bokuaka <3) or if i just latched onto the gen aspects but yeah u really dont need to ship any of the couples in this to absolutely be blown away by this. like holy fucking shit. this is my last haikyuu rec but it is also my first and quite possibly my favourite fic of all time. if you read anything from this whole list, read jaywalkers. i have never had a fic impact me the way this did and ive never come back to a fic so many times as i have this one bc im very much one of those people that once ive read something i dont get much enjoyment from rereading it no matter how much i like it. but idk something about jaywalkers has me in a complete fucking chokehold and has done since i read it over a year ago. the way this author writes is just so effortlessly human? like it's funny and realistic and messy and in-character and BECAUSE it's got so much dumbassery it really hits you out of nowhere when the deeper shit comes in, but it still works perfectly. ive never seen a writer so perfectly capture humanity before. whenever im struggling to flesh characters out, i return to this work and see all the effortless ways this author does that, whether it be through kei's headphones or kuroo's hair or oikawa's chameleon or every tiny tiny detail that is important enough to warrant a mention bc it's what makes these characters real. im just. god. yeah. also the final author's notes actually made me tear up

jujutsu kaisen:

found in translation by hiraethia - kai kai kai kai. GOD all of kai's fics absolutely gut me but this one just really stuck with me. kai's got such a specific writing style where she just makes really poignant and beautiful metaphors flow very easily, so it's never jarringly deep until you actually take a second to think about what you just read and you're like what the fuck and then it very much IS that deep, and that means kai gets a perfect balance of fluff and fun as well as just heart-wrenching tear your hair out kind of angst, which ofc works perfectly for satosugu

two drifters, off to see the world by quietkids - you have to have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to angst if you're gonna ship satosugu and id say i qualify for that and i also very very very rarely cry over fics, but my god something about this fic just destroyed me. im too scared to read it again. i cannot even comprehend how devastated i was upon finishing this like it wasn't even the gross loud sobbing kind of devastated it was just this awful ache that followed me around for DAYS and that takes so so so much talent any and all kudos go to this author. the thing about college-era satosugu fics that anhialates me so much is the helplessness of it. it's all so tragic and 'there is no other version of this story'. you watch them try so hard to make it work and every time without fail you know it all goes wrong anyway, the love was there but it wasn't enough. and somehow this author just grabbed that sentiment and put it into words and i just. OW

at the end of the world by freckledgeto - hi two of the bestest jjk writers are my mutuals and im bragging about it. alia wrote the itafushi (+first year trio friendship) roadtrip au specifically to hurt me im sure of it. not to get into the incredible writing parallels of jjk, but just like their predecessors, itafushi is all about that helplessness, the knowledge of how this is going to end and still trying to fight it, but while satosugu is usually very deep and dark and heavy, itafushi are the younger, fresher version, and alia writes to accommodate that so seamlessly. it's fun and silly and they're so clearly KIDS in it, and it makes it all the more heartbreaking when it stops being so fun and silly. specifically itadori's character is done beautifully in this fic, but also megumi's characterisation gave me an entire new angle on him that id never had before. the whole thing makes me want to punch a wall

atla:

where the stars do not take sides by witchofendor - honestly any fic by this author is always so well-thought out like the worldbuilding is always INCREDIBLE, but i just lovedddd this fire siblings in this and just the whole concept of it. this is my canon. i actually really want to reread this fic when i get a chance

blue by blacklipscurse - this will always always be THE zukka fic in my opinion like just JKSHGKJSHDGJH i miss when this was updating. the zuko characterisation in this is beautiful zuko and iroh's relationship is beautiful but also one thing that really stuck with me from this fic is the fire nation girls' characterisation? like ive NEVER seen a fic get azula like this but also TY LEE really stuck out to me. like she WOULD be so terrifying with her cheerfulness while she literally attacked you and this is the first time i actually felt that

feels like we only go backwards by oldpotatoe - RUBY WE MISS YOU <3 the writing of this fic is absolutely exceptional like there's a reason this fic gets so much hype. the angst? the romance? the slowburn? the falling in love twice over? the sokka and katara moments? give it to me straight into my veins pls

ozymandias king of kings by think_of_a_wonderful_thought - the first zukka fic i ever read and it's really stuck with me. ive said before but this fic really inspired me and is the reason a lot of taob is the way that it is. i LOVE zuko's characterisation in this bc he's different to canon but in a way that makes perfect sense with the divergence we're given. i also really liked hakoda in this? like not that he was being mean to zuko but just that the author wasnt scared to make him a good leader in a REALISTIC way, aka very cynical towards a fire nation prince. you'd think it would be obvious but people get very aggy when you're mean to zuko lol

salvage by muffinlance - obligatory mention <3 beloved fic <3 what to say about salvage that hasn't been said before. it's just an absolute staple of the atla fandom and CREATED its own trope that i very much capitalised off. i just think the whole concept is so so brilliant and it's such a heartfelt fic. it'll always have a very special place in my heart

[wanderingwriter87]

hi! what are your thought/headcanon on parmak, if you'd like to share?

okay so!!!!! parmak is fascinating. even if we are talking pure ds9 canon it is???? so rich. tain specifically mentions him when he's talking to garak about past interrogations, which TO ME indicates he has special significance and tain knows that.

obviously "his eyes, his eyes" is deeply homoerotic so I don't need to even dwell on that.

so im not in the least surprised that andy and, later, una mccormack latched onto this character. there's sooooo much going on.

i think it was andy who introduced the idea that parmak would ultimately forgive and befriend garak post canon, and una who expanded it to talk about why parmak was targeted in the first place. i think she was the one who solidified in my mind the idea of a leftist anarchist parmak who reads audre lorde and such - which is essentially what i draw from in my depictions of him. (HEAVILY influenced by anarchist journalist robert evans who hosts the amazing podcast behind the bastards, check it out)

so there's a little bit of horseshoe theory here, for me. cardassians are into loyalty and both garak and parmak see themselves as being deeply loyal to the ideal of cardassia that they serve - for parmak it is much more community focused, for garak it is much more authoritarian. but i think it's more...idk. like, im american, we are very individualistic in our stated ideals, but I don't think cardassia is like that. so for them maybe it's easier to find that common ground and even if garak is being forcefully taught that parmak and his ilk are WRONG!!!!! he is always going to be more open to anarchocommunist ideals coming from a collectivist culture. and i think that's neat

i also think it's interesting to explore why parmak would forgive garak for essentially sending him to a prison camp. there's sooo much there. there's what i already mentioned- that they both recognize the other is trying to serve a greater good. there's the fact that some ppl are just Like That - forgiveness feels good to them, feels natural.

i also think maybe parmak enjoys the fact that garak is unnerved by his forgiveness and never really knows what to do with it. something that i think is under explored in garmakshir is garak's sense of, like..."i owe him this." like as much as it's just hot for him to have two weed smoking girlfriends brilliant doctor boyfriends, he is also pathologically driven to "share" julian with parmak. (which is literally not how actual relationships work, but we're talking about how it goes down in garak's little pumpkin brain) he does NOT feel like he deserves julian and there's all kinds of ways he can do mental gymnastics about it.

im all over the place with it but basically i relate to parmak an extremely normal amount. also beta canon uses he/him pronouns so that's where im at with this post but I switch it up for different things bc i think it's funnier if you just never know what their gender is going to be. it's like a kinder surprise

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

I don’t know if this is a Neurodivergent Brain thing or a normal brain thing or what, but a thing my brain does is...it’s like there’s a DJ in there, right, and I do not in any way control the DJ except in that I can manually override it with by playing something else, but the DJ has complete control over what is currently stuck in my head. often this will be something I listened to recently, or a particular song will get triggered by an associated memory or by seeing a line or a few words from it in something, and then that’s what I end up singing just...kinda randomly, especially when I’m alone. (I belatedly realized at some point in the past few years that this is almost certainly functions as a form of stimming for me, so there’s that.)

the thing that really fascinates me about my internal DJ is that it seems to have a default rotation of music, songs that have somehow become almost hardwired into my synapses even if it’s been a very long time since I’ve actively listened to them. if nothing is on the rotation because I haven’t listened to anything recently, my DJ defaults back to one of these. this is exactly the sort of thing I tend to obsess over, so I made an ongoing Spotify playlist of these songs once I started paying attention to this whole thing, and some things probably don’t entirely deserve to be on there (or did at one time but maybe don’t anymore) but I also hate to take them off, idk.

and if you look at these songs, you might notice that a lot of them are...kind of similar in sound/genre. most of them have one major thing in common, which is that at some point or another in my life I listened to them a lot, either with everything else by that artist or on a playlist that happened to include that song. however, one might ask, why did my brain latch onto these specific songs and not something else by the same artist or on the same playlist? my dudes, I have not a fucking clue.

others are a lot more mysterious. why the fuck is “Bad Habits” in there? I’m pretty sure I’ve only heard it on the radio! I don’t think I even own it! unfortunately it is very fucking catchy! or that one TOOL song, which is not entirely accurate because really it’s one line of that song? I...feel like it’s associated with high school somehow? something I heard on the radio a lot at the time, or that was used in an anime video @erlkonigstochter showed me, or something?

but the most mysterious one, and the one that has me convinced my DJ is actually a demon from hell, isn’t even on the playlist because, I don’t know, I keep hoping it’ll go away or something if I refuse to legitimize it

is the fucking yodeling-with-puppets song from The Sound of Music

which I have literally never listened to outside of watching the movie

which I haven’t even watched recently or frequently

and I would really like to know what I did to piss off my internal DJ this much

[elysianslove]

your brain is so big and sexy‼️ your writing makes my mouth froth‼️ could u write some smut headcannons for big boy eren yeager? im in love w ur writing plS ㅠㅠ

please i love u sm wtf 

and omg tysm for requesting for eren,,, i spend hours just watching edits of him and levi i am: in Love. i hope you enjoy this <333

nsfw under the cut! eren’s aged up, my loves! i listened to west coast and meet me in the pale moonlight by lana del rey, but both slowed, while writing this, and idk why it fit so well? anyways <3333

i have a feeling that even timeskip eren is the farthest thing from experienced, so it’s more than likely you’ll be taking a lot of his firsts. but he’s a very diligent and determined person in general, so he definitely makes up for it with his enthusiasm. 

however, once the awkwardness and hesitant stage is over,,, 

i wouldn’t go as far as saying he prefers oral giving over receiving, but he truly is in heaven in between your thighs. maybe it’s an ego thing, but he adores hearing his name leave your lips breathlessly and endlessly, loves to see the way you arch your back or twist your fingers in his hair. and when you try to push him away but his mouth stays latched onto your cunt? holy shit. 

while on the topic of giving oral, he wants you sitting on his face, or hoisting you up against the wall, your legs perched on his shoulders. he loves the way you slowly and eventually give into him, trusting him to hold you up, or noticing how you no longer hold yourself up and you’re just pushing your cunt down against his mouth shamelessly. he loves it!!! 

he does love to receive oral too. i think it’d make him a little shy the first few times he did it, or the first few times you offered. he still would never really initiate it, but he never declines. he doesn’t fuck your throat, per se, but he can cum in seconds if you deepthroat him. he will unintentionally thrust up into your mouth and have his cock graze your throat, and yes when he really gets into it, he might grab your hair and push your face harsher and deeper against him, forcing you to swallow more of him. especially when he’s seated, he doubles over almost over at the feel of your warm mouth around him. 

in regards to where he likes to cum,,, well

eren probably really likes it messy ngl 

so if you’re blowing him, almost always will he pull out and cum on the tip of your tongue, smearing the tip of his cock all along your lips. if it gets anywhere else, he’ll collect it on the tips of his fingers and push them into your mouth

wait i know i’m getting sidetracked but eren definitely has a thing for you sucking on his fingers holy shit. he absolutely just shoves them into your mouth while you two are fucking, or just pushes them onto your tongue to force your mouth open so that you’re drenching his palm and your chin with drool. i’m telling y’all, he likes it messy. 

anyways back to what i was talking about. the same way he pulls out of your mouth to see you coated in his cum, more often than not he’ll do the same as he’s fucking you. he’ll pull out till the tip of his cock barely rests inside of you, spilling all over your inner walls. but because of how he isn’t really inside of you, it so easily seeps out of you, which then he’s given the courtesy of fucking it back into you. this is so filthy im so sorry. 

eren’s an ass man. can’t convince me otherwise. of course, he loves titties, can kiss and suck at them for days, but the ass,,,

it’s not even sexual at this point he just likes groping you in general

i also believe eren’s a huge kisser during sex. like he’s always either sloppily kissing all over your mouth, sucking on your tongue, both your lips glossy cause of the saliva. or he’s serenely kissing you, both hands cupping your cheeks as he fucks into you at a steady pace, so deep, not insanely fast, not teasingly slow

honestly? he’d be more willing to sub than dom. it’s not that he’s not a top, because he definitely is, it’s more that he’s willing to sacrifice control than enforce it on you, you know? 

wait one more thing. you know that face grabbing thing that some do during sex? like your eyes are rolling back and your face is red and your mouth is hanging open, your tongue slightly lolling out and you’re so far gone? at that point eren would absolutely adore just grabbing your face with one hand, squishing your cheeks together. you just look so pretty like this beneath him. like i said, he’s definitely a top,,,

this is already so long should i talk about his kinks

im gonna talk about his kinks

praise kink! huge praise kink! he loves to praise you, loves you praising him! tell him how good he feels, how he’s perfect for you, and he’ll tell you all about how pretty you look beneath him/on top of him like this, how well you take him, such a good girl...

dumbification kink. he’s not going to explicitly degrade you and call you stupid, or stupid for his cock specifically, but he loves seeing how so visibly your kind hazes over, how you willingly let him do anything to you because you trust him all that much

dacryphilia. it ties into dumbification. he does not want to hurt you, he just likes seeing you so overwhelmed with pleasure that tears start to fill your eyes, slipping down your cheeks. it’s not a sadism thing, honestly, it’s more of a guarantee that yes, you’re enjoying yourself this much.

edging, but on him. please, he would so be into getting edged, even to the point of hours. i don’t know why, but i’m so sure of the fact that he’d like being reduced to such a mess, begging and sobbing for you to let him cum, his cock, so swollen and full, leaking so much precum, the tip nearly purpling. he just adores it when that band finally snaps and he’s able to let go; it’s incredibly satisfying 

voyeurism, but only in the sense that he wants to watch you pleasure yourself. he strikes me as someone that is very possessive of their partner, so he wouldn’t want anyone else to see you in such a state, only him. but he really does get off to watching you, like so much. 

marking. again: possessive. he loves marking you in any possible way, which means whether it’s from his bruising grip on your waist and hips or his lips and teeth sinking into every other part of your body. 

choking, but him receiving it. he will never lay a hand on you, and he’d never trust himself to ever choke you. but your hands are so small in comparison to all of him that the pressure around his throat is barely there, but it feels nice. like he’s all yours. 

that being said, he wouldn’t be into impact play at all. nothing that involves every hurting you like i said.

okay im so sorry this was so long clearly i have too much to say this is embarrassing 

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Ok another post because i cant stop and literally had this exact same conversation with my friend yesterday and its extremely applicable to what i saw on youtube and to an extent on reddit. And maybe this is a hot take but im going to say it anyway maybe please dont leave hate on this

But. I'm having a very hard time seperating the characters in critical role and the people in critical role. And I think this is just a by product of the kind of media it is because its immersive but also not.

And I was saying how I have to make a very conscious effort to seperate the two in my head and not conflate them. And even then I really don't think I do a good job about it, especially about characters I've latched onto like Caleb. I also think these days its very difficult to interact with a piece of media and not consider who those involved are as people for better or worse.

It's impossible for me to interact with critical role without also interacting with the people running it and the characters. It gets all jumbled for me. I still find myself googling personal questions about the actors even though I know im not entitled to that information nor should I be speculating on it.

All that being said, I don't think a lot of people think about this? Or even know to think about it? I think it's a very unconscious reaction and the format of critical role and similar shows is primed to make it difficult to do. You see someone on the screen and your brain identifies that person as the character. There's just a collapsing of separation that isn't there in more "traditional" pieces of media.

Then there is the whole parasocial relationship aspect of it too, which is also something I am hyper aware of and also really bad at. This is also at the forefront of my mind since I saw Ethan's (crankgameplays) show like two weeks ago. But it's hard to remind myself that I don't know these people and shouldn't be making assumptions about them. And it really bothers me when people make assumptions about, for example, Marisha and Liam are the ones I've seen the most, because of something they are doing in character or media they are producing because people do that about me and i cant stand it. Just because you see their media, just because they choose to share something with you, doesnt mean you know them or are entitled to more information. And like dont make assumptions about people from what art they put out. This really gets to me from my own experience. But often times people would like at my writing and then put that weight back onto me when i was specifically writing it to get the distance. Idk where im going with this.

And i dont have good answers or solutions to these problems and its constantly something im aware of when im consuming (i hate that word) media, especially on youtube. But critical role has opened up this can of worms for me in ways i didnt expect. And im not calling anyone out over anything. These are just the thoughts swirling in my head about the way i interact with media, especially critical role. Anyway so heres all my baggage.

[foilfreak]

Beauty and Her Beast: Summary and Ch.1

A Salvatore Moreau x Female!FishMutant!oc fic based on this idea I had the other day that a very specific subset of the fanfom went absolutely apeshit for, which I'm here for and decided to act on. I can't make any promises for consistent uploading or even a finishes product by the end of this, but so long as im still interested in working on it, I'll keep working on it, and if im not, then I wont, plain and simple. Anyways, here's the summary and chapter 1, please let me know what you think of the story so far, i hope you all enjoy (you'd better all enjoy), and I can't wait to see you all again for chapter 2. Bye! <333 (Link to ao3 posting will be in comments so check there if you want to read it there instead)

Warning: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

Summary:

Now, I’m sure everyone already knows the ancient tales that tell of a beautiful young woman slowly falling in love with a horrific monstrosity of a man. The pure and true love this innocent beauty comes to feel for him, despite his terrifying appearance, is the key that breaks the cruel and twisted curse under which he’d been kept prisoner. This allows the man behind the monster to not only return to his true human form, but then go on to live his Happily Ever After with the beauty who saved him. Everyone already knows of these tales, as well as the messages behind them, however that is not quite the way this particular tale plays out.

The tale I am about to tell bears many similarities to the one above, however there are also quite a few important differences. For while the original detailed a beauty falling for a monster because of the kind and loving man he was behind his hideous exterior, this is a tale of a beauty, with a few monstrous qualities of her own, falling in love with a kind and loving monster, not at all despite his grotesque appearance, but rather, in part, because of it.

This is a tale, where the Beast still falls for his Beauty first, but the Beauty is the one who will be pursuing her Beast.

Chapter 1: Mother's Gift

Few of those who lived isolated from the outer world, high up in the mountains of Romania, would expect anyone of reasonable sanity to be out traveling in this hellish sort of weather. The wind howling a demonic high pitched tune; snow, sleet, and hail pounding into the ground like an endless shower of bullets from the heavens; and hungry lycans still roaming the area, tirelessly looking for their next meal, would be enough to incentivize even the strongest of mortal men to seek shelter away from the deadly conditions of the outside.

A man by the name of Salvatore Moreau however, one of the 4 lords of this mountain region who lived in the reservoir just past the windmills, did not appear terribly concerned with what other people thought of the traveling conditions. Completely unbothered by the horrifying weather and threat of suddenly being ground into doggy food, the hooded man trudged his way through the dark and barely maintained snow paths. Starting at the reservoir and making his way toward the village, Salvatore moved as quickly as his deformed body would permit, an unusually chipper spring added to his lumbering hobble of a walk.

Mother had a gift for him.

Yes, a truly joyous day it was whenever Mother Miranda called upon him to join her and the other lords for a meeting. Miranda was usually so busy with her experiments that she rarely had time to visit her children outside of these ‘family meetings’ they’d been having recently. However, it would appear as though Mother has come up with a solution of some kind to this problem and wishes to share it with them in person. Whatever this solution is, the mutated man has no idea, as Mother Miranda had been quite vague in her message, however the fact that Salvatore was being given the chance to see his radiant mother AND receive a gift from her, all in one day, was more than enough to make up for how agonizingly lonely he’s been these last few months since winter set in, as well as how agonizing it was for him to walk in this weather.

Salvatore arrived at the usual meeting site just as the clock struck 8pm, precisely as Mother had instructed. However, much to the hooded man’s confusion, when he turned the handle on the large wooden door to enter the room, he quickly realized that he was currently the only one present. This was especially strange considering that, usually, at least one of his siblings was always present a little earlier than necessary, usually Alcina or Karl, but occasionally Donna with Angie in tow.

Mother had clearly said in her message that she wanted to start the meeting at 8pm sharply, so where on earth is everyone?

“Moreau” Mother Miranda’s voice called out, immediately pushing all thoughts from Salvatore’s brain as her powerful, yet lucious voice echoed against the halls of the room like a choir of angels.

“Y-yes! W-what… is it… M-mother Miranda? I-i-i came to you… j-just like you asked” Salvatore responds, bowing his head in reverence as he slowly crosses the room and approaches the otherworldly woman.

“So you did, though I suppose you coming exactly when I call makes the most sense. You always were the most obedient of my children” the woman remarks with casual disdain, her voice devoid of any sort of motherly affection or tenderness. Despite the clear disgust and disregard with which Miranda regards the hooded man standing before her, her words light Salvatore’s soul ablaze, filling his mangled body with intense feelings of heat and desire that melt his heart of the cold, icy frost that had frozen it over the course of the long winter.

“Y-y-yes, y-yes of c-course, Mother M-Miranda! I-i would… I would do any-anything... for y-you. A-anything you s-say... anything y-you n-need… I’d d-do it... f-for you. W-without question!” The deformed man says, practically getting on his hands and knees and crawling as he neared closer and closer to Miranda, stopping only when he’d arrived just in front of the steps the raven mother stood upon, his gaze trained at the ground as he knelt at her feet, awaiting his fate at his mother’s hands.

“I know you would, Moreau,” Miranda says cooly, gently brushing the palm of her hand against the black fabric that covers the top of Salvatore’s head, “which is why I’ve called you here today; to reward you for your loyalty and service to me thus far.”

Salvatore sinks sharp and jagged teeth into the flesh of his bottom lip, nearly drawing blood as he desperately tries to silence the needy whine that wanted to tear its way from the back of his throat. His body shivered and twitched in unimaginable delight from the sudden tender caress to his sensitive skin. How long had it been since someone had touched him so gently? How long since someone had spoken to him with such kind and soft words. Took the time to gather presents as a reward for years of faithful servitude? How long since someone had loved him like this?

‘Too long’ the disfigured man sighed to himself, reveling in the soft, gentle contact for as long as he is able.

“Moreau. Look at me” Miranda commanded firmly, and despite not wanting his beloved Mother to be forced to bear witness to his hideous face, he complied, lifting his head up and back to allow his gaze to lift from the floor and up at the glowing figure that was his Mother, his beautiful, incredible, intelligent, majestic mother.

The light shining down from above illuminates Miranda from behind. From Salvatore’s perspective on the floor, the light darkens her face and most of her torso and waist, giving a softened, almost ethereal glow around Miranda’s figure. This, along with the rest of her garb, makes Mother Miranda appear even more like the holy woman that Salvatore naively believes she still is. Despite her less than affectionate treatment of him thus far, Salvatore still stared up at the darkened face of Mother Miranda, his eyes shining with reverence, love, desire, and unending devotion.

“Y-yes... Mother?” Salvatore breathed, barely able to speak above a whisper as Miranda stepped away, gesturing for him to follow.

“Are you ready to collect your gift now?” The raven mother asks, speaking more softly than before and even holding her hand out to Salvatore, her pose and appearance mirroring that of a powerful god taking mercy upon her wretched follower, reaching out to reward the years of faithful servitude and worship.

Salvatore, barely able to keep himself calm as he stumbled to his feet, did not grace Mother Miranda’s question with a proper response, instead practically racing to take the woman’s outstretched hand in his own.

“I’m ready Mother… I-I’m ready for... my g-gift now… can I… c-can I have it n-now… p-please?” Salvatore begs, pulling at Miranda’s hand like an overly excited child, seemingly unaware of the disgusted twist of her face when the hooded man’s cold, slimy fingers firmly latched onto hers.

“Of course, my child” Mother Miranda says, pulling her hand back from Salvatore’s and instead placing it along the man’s hunched back, beginning to guide him to wherever it was the raven mother had hidden his gift.

As Salvatore limped next to Mother Miranda, the deformed man couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it was that Mother had gotten for him. Was it a new cloak, to replace the worn one he was currently wearing? Perhaps a new set of romance films so he didn’t have to rewatch the ones he already owned over and over again anymore? Or maybe it was something to help with his digestion?

It would be nice to get his chronic acid reflux under control again.

Regardless of what the gift actually turned out to be however, Salvatore was merely pleased that he was finally getting a chance to spend time with Mother Miranda all by himself for a change.

Maybe, if he was lucky, she’d even agree to hold him, just like she always did back when he was still undergoing cadou treatment.

Oh how wonderful that would be!

[1kook]

distractions

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

summary: “Soft.” / “No shit,” you say, “you’re deep between my boobs.” tags: gamer kook, soft bf jeon, extensive knowledge of the MCU (Mario Cinematic Universe) warnings: nsfw; mostly tit play, dry humping, slight praise, jizzing in ur pants like ur fifteen again wc: 3k barely 

when u have 34827 other fics to finish but ur brain hyper focuses on this image at 1 in the morning. not proofread bc idk ppl 

ty for all the nice comments on skirt chasers btw<333

There were a lot of things about Jungkook that you didn’t learn until you were official. Like the fact he rarely matches his socks unless they’re cool socks. Or that he prefers his pancakes pre-drizzled with syrup. Not necessarily bad things, just aspects the general public wouldn’t normally see. In fact, the worst “trait” you’ve learned about Jungkook in the past year is how easily distracted he can get. Nothing crazy, just tiny actions, like forgetting to eat for three hours because he refuses to leave his Wii until he can beat the guys in three rounds of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the Mushroom Kingdom stage. Strangely specific, but it’s Jungkook and you’ve long since learned he’s an enigma.

Times like now, when you creep up behind him as he continues screeching into his headset, voice cracking every now and then in that adorable way it does when he’s overwhelmed. You are no stranger to Jungkook’s apartment, having visited more times than you can count, and even dropping by and doing a little dusting while he was on tour. However, you’re surprised you can see the back of his coconut hair from the low backing of his new computer chair. He’d told you he recently threw away his big leather, super villain gaming chair because it’d started to tear, but it was a fact you hadn’t really paid much attention to.

Now, however, you’re feeling a little happy he did, because it means you can slide your palms around his shoulders in somewhat of a back hug. It’s way better than having to walk all the way in front of him, and you bite down on a grin when he mutters the softest “hi, baby.”

“Which stage are we battling on today?” You murmur, pinching the tip of his mic to twist it away. Faintly, you can hear Taehyung’s voice shout a greeting your way.

Another button smash of his remote, hands enveloping the tiny device. “Wii Fit Studio with Wario,” he replies, eyes flickering across the screen like his life depends on it. You snort.

“I thought you hated Wario,” you point out, and move with him when he jumps after being shot off the screen.

He looks at you for the first time as he waits for his character to respawn. “Changed my mind. He’s just misunderstood. Listen to my theory, babe,” he starts, and you let go of him because you have the back of a ninety year old war veteran and can only hunch over for so long. You take up a very bodyguard-esque position behind him, watching him play and gently pressing your thumbs into his shoulders. “Imagine this. You’re a kid trying to have fun and this other kid who looks exactly like you but better is somehow also cooler than you.”

You hum, letting go of his shoulders to toy with his hair. You pull it into a makeshift ponytail and giggle, not that Jungkook minds, too immersed in his game and his sudden loving Wario speech to care. “Then, you get older and this same dude is still getting all the credit for being exactly like you. On top of that, his little brother is doing the same to your little brother! I’d be so pissed.”

You let his hair drop, and then quickly brush the strands away from his face when he whines. “Uh huh. But theoretically speaking, aren’t you the Mario of your little universe?” Jungkook is silent. “If we’re going by your little story, I hardly doubt there’s another Jeon doing better than you,” you point out.

Jungkook’s Wario gets blown off the screen for the last time, and he’s left blankly staring at the screen. You poke his neck. “I don’t wish to discuss this further,” he says rather matter of factly. You laugh, shaking him and his seat. “Baby, why would you say that!” He cries.

You smile, flicking the switch on his headset before pushing it off his head. Jungkook moans again, head lolling back to glare up at you. “I finally come to terms with the fact that Mario is the true asshole, just to find out I’m Mario? Fucking absurd.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, fingers dancing down the stretched column of his neck. “Listen, no one told you to go out and create an entire deep backstory for the Mario Cinematic Universe.”

He scoffs, eyes fluttering shut as he continues basking in your soft caresses. “The MCU,” he chuckles under his breath. On screen, Taehyung is still fighting with whoever else they were playing with tonight, a little Isabelle and Dark Samus dancing across the screen.

Meanwhile, you’re still absentmindedly running your fingertips along Jungkook’s skin. For a second, you think he’s asleep by the deepening of his breaths, his body so soft and relaxed beneath your touch, but then he gets one of those weird twitches of his, and pushes his head between your breasts.

“Ah,” he sighs, eyes still shut. “Soft.”

“No shit,” you say, “you’re deep between my boobs.”

The little shit snuggles closer at your words. “My favorite place in the world,” he croons, and you pinch his neck for his stupidity. “Tell me when they’re done,” he mumbles, sounding as if he’s actually gonna fall asleep.

You relent, continuing your gentle massaging of the muscles in his neck as you tune into the match on screen. You’re not exactly sure which one Taehyung is, but your gut tells you he’s probably playing as Isabelle, so you root for her. You’re weirdly into it, jumping every time a good spar happens.

By the time the match ends (literally only like 4 minutes later) and you check on your boyfriend, he’s snuggled his way between the valley of your breasts, his cute nose poking out from between. “Oh my god,” you sigh, having to take a momentary pause to collect yourself from the sight.

Jungkook giggles.

“Well. Taehyung’s done,” you inform him, and he hums though he doesn’t really seem to care about Smash anymore. His hands go slack around his remote, crawling up to dwarf yours.

He sighs, sounding so happy with himself. “Baby, you’re so soft,” he hums, and you try desperately, and you mean desperately, to ignore the sudden drop of his voice, his hands ever so gently tangling with yours.

You try to hit him with the facts, because you know where this will go if you don’t. “Well, breasts are made up of mostly fatty tissue, and lobes for producing milk,” you inform him.

Contrary to your goal, the handsome smile that envelopes his face has you fighting down the curl in your stomach. You can never win.

“You know I love when you talk anatomical to me,” he purrs, and it takes everything in you to not punch him straight in those pearly whites.

You don’t have enough time to respond, too caught up in a mental pep talk to re-evaluate what your body considered attractive. Jungkook’s corny jokes should definitely not be high on the list, but your rock hard nipples said otherwise. “So, you gonna let me suck on them or what?”

“I hate you,” you groan, reaching over to completely unplug Jungkook’s headset because you were absolutely terrified of creating an accidental porno with your celebrity boyfriend.

Jungkook chuckles. “No you don’t,” he teased, finally wiggling his way away from you to whirl his seat around. “Could feel your nip nops pressing into my forehead. No bra today? She’s bold.”

“She’s bold and embarrassed that her boyfriend calls them nip nops,” you sigh, climbing into his lap. His remote presses hard against your thigh, and you yelp before he tugs it out and throws it on the desk behind him. Vaguely, you register the screen lighting up behind Jungkook, but then he’s nudging your shirt upwards.

He’s barely brushed his hands against you, but you’re already shivering and squirming in his lap. “Relax for me, baby,” he assures you, a new depth slowly creeping around his words. “Gonna take care of you, alright?”

You nod, breath already caught in your throat just from the way he looks at you. He flashes you another smile, bunny teeth slightly pressed against his lower lip, before he’s pushing your shirt above your chest, and marveling at your boobs.

You don’t miss the way his gaze becomes glossy, eyes hyper focused on the rise and fall of your chest. Just as you’re about to urge him to do something, he’s reaching up to brush his thumb around your nipple. “Oh,” you blurt out, the skin around your nipple rising with goosebumps.

Jungkook lets out a soft huff of air at your reaction. “So sensitive. Bet I could make you come just by touching your tits, baby.”

You scoff, choking back another sound when he does the same to the other nipple. “I wanna say I doubt it, but I feel like you’ll prove me wrong,” you retort.

At this, Jungkook smirks. “Oh, so now it’s an expectation?” He smiles, and it’s the last angelic side of him you see before he’s ducking down and latching his supple lips around your breast.

Immediately, your back arches forward, hands scrambling to grip onto his shoulders as he licks across your breast. “J-Jeon, wait—“ you cry, body shaking at the way his tongue dances around your nipple.

Your hands tangle themselves in his hair, tugging and twisting it as he flicks his tongue back and forth, knocking it against the hard pebble. You moan, and almost choke when he pulls away with a lewd pop.

His lips are glossy from his own saliva, red from the friction. He’s looking at your glistening breast like a starved man, thumb returning to glide over his own messy artwork. “So pretty,” he hums, Puckering his lips to blow a soft tuft of air against it. You shiver. “Aren’t you the softest little thing,” he says, one hand falling to your waist and gently easing you closer to his crotch. His sweatpants do nothing to conceal how he’s feeling.

You hate to admit how your insides had turned into a Fruit Gusher the second he started sucking on your boob, and now that you think of, you'd be absolutely embarrassed if you did come from just this.

As if sensing your inner turmoil, Jungkook meets your gaze. “I fucking knew it,” he says, slightly out of breath. You furrow your eyebrows, to which he pointedly raises his and gestures to his crotch. “You started pressing down so hard on me the second I got my mouth on you,” he brags, and as if to punctuate his statement, grinds his hips upward into you. “Did sucking your titty make you that wet, doll?”

Your cheeks flush at his words. Belatedly, you nod, your eyes falling to his lips that quirk up into a smile. “Oh, you’re just so desperate to be touched, aren’t you?” He continues, and then reaches up to pinch your nipple between two rough fingers.

You gasp, body arching into him. The pain is new, but definitely welcomed. “Yes,” you cry out, hand reaching out to grapple around his wrist. Though you try to tug it away, it feels disgustingly good and you know he knows, which is why he gives it a slight tug.

Finally, when he lets go of you, he doesn’t hesitate to lower himself down by your other, ignored breast. “I wanna see you cream your shorts, okay? So I’m gonna suck your other titty until you’re near tears, baby,” he states, before giving you a soft push of his hips.

“Please, be gentle,” you choke out, words stuck the moment he wraps his lips around you. This time, he’s ruthless with his tongue. He traces it all over, tonguing your nipple like a lollipop. It feels nice, the wet caress, that you don’t see that bite coming at all. You moan, body unconsciously pushing away from him in surprise.

“Nuh uh,” Jungkook tuts, strong arms wrapping around your lower back to bring you back into his embraces. This closer position has your core pressing down directly over his dick, and the sudden double stimulation has your vision momentarily going white. “Gonna give you a pretty little bite right under your tit, doll,” he announces, and in a scary act of trust, presses his fingers into your spine until you’re staring at the ceiling, the only thing supporting you his strong arms. He nudged your breast with his nose until he finds the perfect spot to place his impromptu hickey.

It’s right against the bottom curve, where your skin folds over, that he settles on. “Need you to to sit nice and still for me. You can do that, right baby?” Jungkook says, big doe eyes looking up at you. You nod your head quickly.

His teeth are cold, unlike the rest of his mouth. “Jungkook!” You moan, toes curling and thighs attempting to clamp shit. They hit the outside of the chair instead, slightly squeezing around his thin waist. “You’re s-so good to me,” you wail, pushing down into his covered cock for friction.

As much as you wanted to act like this wouldn’t affect you, your body is no liar. Fingers tangled in his long curls, you find yourself gently rutting against him. Much to your surprise, this makes him break away, a thin bridge of saliva connecting his mouth to your chest. You mourn when it finally breaks.

“Told you to stay still, doll,” Jungkook warns, one set of long fingers sprawling on the small of your back as the other reaches up. “You had all the time in the world to work yourself on me, but you wanna choose now?” He gently reprimands you, twisting your nipple between two pinched fingers. You mewl. “Promise you’ll be good?”

“I can’t,” you whine, desperation seeping into your voice as your traitorous hips jolt forward again. You nearly fall onto him when a particular nudge of his cock over your core feels just right. “Want your cock so bad,” you wail, throwing all hesitation out the window as you begin full on humping yourself against his crotch.

Jungkook sighs, trying to act annoyed with you but the twitch of his cock beneath you cannot lie. “Well I’m not done having fun with you,” he says, though the way his words are tinged with complaints, you can tell he’s trying hard not to pout. Nonetheless, he latches his mouth around your breast again, and you nearly faint when he rolls your nipple between his teeth.

“Jeon,” you cry, looking down with probably the world’s worst quadruple chin only to catch him absolutely savoring your titty. He’s got his eyes closed, pink tongue licking across every inch he can get. His arms are wrapped around the smallest part of your waist like he can’t possibly fathom letting you go. When he moans, a whole new found wetness coats your walls. You choke on a sob, “I-I love you, Jungkook.”

You can feel a smirk pressed around your breast. It’s this moment when Jungkook finally gives up on his little quest to tame you, hips bucking up to meet your offbeat grinds against him. He pulls off your breast with another wet pop, though he’s slightly lower than you from how consumed he was when sucking you tits. He has to make a little effort to stretch his neck up to look at you, and even then it’s over the top of his nose that he gazes at you.

His lips pucker slightly, and the next time you grind down onto him has them brushing against your lower lip. “That’s it,” he croons, admiring the different expressions that contort your face as you become closer and closer to your orgasm. “Come all over your pretty panties for me, baby,” he encourages, sucking your lower lip between his.

His mouth had been so dangerous to you today, licking and sucking in all the right spots, but nothing has ever felt as right as having it on yours. “I-I’m sorry,” you whimper, fingers knitting themselves in his hair.

“Don’t be,” he comforts, gripping your hips and swiveling you in a circular motion. “Next time you’ll do better, won’t you?”

You nod, head bouncing like a bobble head. He smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your thighs twitch. “I was gone for so long,” he rambles, hips picking up their pace the second he hears your breath hitch in your throat. “Didn’t think you’d become so sensitive and needy.”

A faint smile passes through your lips, and your toes curl and your belly tightens in that delicious way it does right before orgasm. Another grind against Jungkook, and he sighs “I love you,” as you cream your pants like a dweeby high schooler being touched for the first time.

Jungkook’s gentle movements halt the moment he sees that orgasmic face overtake you, pressing soft smooches all over the bottom half of your face, peppering your lips with them, until your fingers finally loosen in his hair.

“Fuck, I’m embarrassed,” you huff out, feeling gross and sticky in all the worst spots. Jungkook chuckles, and you can still feel his hard cock nudging the insides of your thighs.

“Nah,” he says. “It’ll make it easier for me to slide in.”

Even in your post orgasmic state, his words have a brand new coil of heat revving up. God, you were whipped for him. “Bed?” You ask, and he nods as you clamber off his lap, tugging down your shirt.

Immediately, he whirls around and catches sight of his abandon Smash game. “Huh.” He says, and you already feel the distraction staple itself into his mind. “Have you ever noticed how Dark Pit—“

You cut him off, gliding your hands around his neck and slowly craning it back until you can give him a tiny Spider-Man kiss. “If you make me cum a second time I promise I’ll listen to whatever theory you have about him,” you purr, punctuating your words with a tiny smooch.

The screen is off in record time.